History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 57 - James Armistead Lafayette was WILD!!!

Episode Date: February 24, 2019

The Hyenas talk about James Armistead Lafayette who was an enslaved man who served the Continental Army during the American Revolutionary War. What a WILD life he had!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

What's up, cuzzy wuzzies? You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys, History Hyenas, Bad. what's up everybody welcome to another episode of history hyenas i'm chris stefano aka chrissy fake leather jackets withissy Fake Leather Jackets. With me, as always, Giannis Pappas, a.k.a. Gianni Y. Chromosomes. A.k.a. Gianni 100% Clean Ass. Giannis, here's the thing. Here's something that I was

talking about with Giannis. We just went to, it's called Puerto Rico. It's called Puerto Rico Coffee Company, and that's just honestly the name of it. They have really good coffee in the West Village. They have... You had to say that just because fans know. Otherwise, it could have really good cough in the west village um they uh they have you had to say that just because fans know otherwise it could have been a way zhong it could have been a way zhong qian i'm i'm joking i mean they do always have an open fire hydrant in the summertime

because that's fucking a puerto rican splish splash but it's what it is yeah we go yeah minute did we even make it a minute yeah yeah i don't have headphones so i can't even hear way zhong qian so you're just gonna have to i'm just. You're a white kid from Queens, and it's just what it is. Because I was in Denver with Patty Fly Balls and James Debo. Yeah. So understand that it's going to take. It usually takes about 24 to 48 hours to shake off the Ridgewood. So there's going to be a few things I say that are just wild.

Yeah. And it's what it is. Because if your brain was a fire hydrant and they took the caps off to let the water flow yeah you'd be saying welfare monkey a bunch obviously yeah a hundred percent because inside that fire hydrant there's a lot of thoughts yeah when you took and they flew out the word welfare yeah would be said a lot let me tell you let me just make one thing crystal fucking clear when that water flowed make no mistake the colors would be red white and blue it's what it is can we get a bunch of way zhongxing for me saying welfare monkey yeah yeah it's what it is

because because my mom called german snow monkeys and it's just a 10 out of 10 just what it is to do yeah but um what we were talking about was um i now have been very close friends with yannis for like five years um and really really close with him like like neighbors for the past two years so i know not only do i know when yannis's ass is clean versus not clean but i know the percentage of clean his ass is versus dirty so i could tell right now he's got about a 95 clean ass ass because he didn't witch hazel. Wow, how'd you know that? Because I just know because I could just tell. Because you could smell like a dog? Yeah, I could smell like a dog. I got a keen sense of smell

when it comes to Yanni P's ass. Let me just be crystal clear with our toots and our non-toots right now with the cackle. Let me just be crystal clear with the cackle. Yeah. When you wash your ass with bar and soap or to our black friends, wash cloth and soap.

Yeah. Your ass is only going to be 95% clean. Right. If you want to go 100, you got to witch hazel your asshole. You got to just do it. You got to witch hazel the ass. And I know there's been times where,

and I know that like when you're honest, when his ass gets down to less than 5% clean, I actually have to kick him out of my house. So there was one time when he was in my apartment and his ass was about four percent clean and i had to ask him to kindly leave i mean it gets to a point where he just doesn't respect himself but now he's getting married in two weeks so every day he's made a commitment to to his lovely uh soon-to-be wife that he's going to not eat peets for two weeks except on the day of his bachelor party and the night of the rehearsal dinner so just those two days i'll eat peets for two weeks except on the day of his bachelor party and the night of the rehearsal dinner so just those two days he'll eat peets and his ass will be clean 95 percent of the time until the wedding because the reason why scandinavians don't have fumes i'm gonna reveal the reason now

it's not as crazy as what we here we go this is this is this is a yanni truth right now yeah this is a crystal clear chrissy d yeah uh ch Chrissy chaos. Yeah. Peanut head pussy head moment of truth. Here it is. I'm going to change the world right now. Here we go. Okay. You ready? Yes. The reason why Scandinavians don't have fumes is not as mysterious. It's not

as much a consequence as nature as we've been purporting. Right. The truth is when you go to Scandinavia, which many people don't get the chance to do because it's so expensive there. It's nuts. Right. But I've been purporting. The truth is when you go to Scandinavia, which many people don't get the chance to do because it's so expensive there, it's nuts. Right. But I've been able and privileged to travel there extensively.

Thank you for acknowledging your privilege. Yeah, my privilege. Your white privilege. My white privilege. Because I'm white and privileged, I was able through comedy and my privilege to go there and tour for a couple of years. And here's the deal.

Yeah. It's not that sexy an answer. We've been making a lot of jokes, but I'm going to let the world know what the problem is. And here's the deal. Yeah. It's not that sexy an answer. We've been making a lot of jokes, but I'm going to let the world know what the problem is. Let's know what the truth is. Why Americans overall have fumes, why we have a lot of fumes in a lot of other countries, and Scandinavians have no fumes.

Yeah. You want to know? Yeah. It's as simple as removable shower heads. Really? That's what it is, because it's not a sexy thing, and we got a lot of mileage

out of fumes and non-fumes and now we have a whole thing, a world where fumes means more than just the way your crotch smells. Right. So now I'm going to let the truth be told.

The fucking problem in this country is for some reason the shower head is fixed above our head, aimed at our chest and shoulder. Right. Guess what?

That's not our problem area right there. Right. And then we That's not our problem area right there. Right. And then we're just stuck trying to cup water and throw it into our ass. Right. Like we're at a water well in Ethiopia. Yeah. It's a problem.

We need to be able to bring the party straight to the tragedy right here. Yeah. We need to be able to remove the showerhead and shoot it. And shoot it right in your ass. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Because when you go to a nice hyatt

yeah you go to a nice hotel and they got a nice shower with a removable shower head how clean does your ass feel when you take out the gun and squirt it right onto your anus it feels fucking great cuz and i gotta be honest with you every i can't remember the last time i haven't bent over and spread my ass cheeks and let the water hit my hole yeah you gotta do it like you're playing that that water balloon clown mouth game at a state fair. You got to try to line your asshole up with one beam of water to get a direct

hit because it's archaic, it's antiquated, and the Scandinavians are ahead of us in having a clean ass, global warming, and fucking single pay healthcare and they got hot girls and it's just KS, so it is what it is Zach give me a it's what it is in German

that's the only that was Swahili it's what it is in German I want to hear one in German yeah you want to hear one in your native language yeah yeah that's the only one you play for me from now on

did you get a creeper I had to use my left arm to keep my right hand down Yeah, that's the only one you play for me from now on. Did you get a creeper? Yeah. I had to use my left arm to keep my right hand down. Here's the truth of the situation. Yeah. First of all, I says, please keep doing that because I love that is what it is. Different. Give me this one more time in German.

I just want to hear it one more time. This is now this versus this. Yeah. Here's the truth of the situation. It hit me like a ton of bricks when we were getting that mad dog needs love because his mom's a two. Heber. Yeah, that too, cuz. Yeah.

Yeah, cuz. I got you good right Hey Bert And then I just came with the perfect timing Hey Bert That was like a one two punch You guys both got me Yeah that too What else what did you find out

It also hit me like a ton. What else? What did you find out? It also hit me like a ton of bricks. Now it's in my head. Now it's funny in my head. Let's just be honest. We found out some revelations about Mad Dog Heybert. Heybert. If you guys don't know, if you're new to the podcast and you're just new to the cackle,

one of our dearest friends in the world, our third Mike most third Mike, most of the time, James Mad Dog Matter, also known as Hey Bert, because he looks like Bert from Bert and Ernie. We talk about him sometimes, but he couldn't be. We have to throw him off the podcast because he doesn't know how to yes end and he doesn't know how to play games. And when we make fun of him, call him Hey Bert, he would get upset and understand when you when you walk into the world of the history hyenas it's mostly hyena yeah and if you can't tackle with us then you gotta go you're gonna get hazed you're gonna get your ears chewed off your ears are gonna end up looking like a four-leaf clover yeah like a hazed lower ranking fucking male and a hyena cackle it's just what it is so if you want yes so if you um if you know and if you want to get if you if you're liking this podcast and you've listed a few apps and you're not part of our patron patron dot com, patron dot com slash Bay Ridge Boys, also known as the Matreon, then you're unfortunately a toot.

If you want to be a non toot and wake up one day and finally for the first time in your life, not just be a dirty prostitute. Like Mad Dog's mom. Like Mad Dog's mom. Then what you have to do is go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. And we have a lot more fun and games there and a lot more content. Because make no mistake, if you're a part of the matriarchy, a part of the cackle, and you have your pseudo penis in the air, I will suck it. And the truth is we're dangling a couple of nice pseudo penises in front of the people who are toots right now. Because make no mistake, I've been getting a lot of DMs. You know what those DMs been saying?

What? They've been saying, how can I get the alt right and the episode? How can I get the Rachel Feinstein episode? And it used to be and should have been. How could I get the Ari Shaffir episode? Yeah. Now you can just get that for free. Because make no mistake, Zach Isis put that episode ahead of time because he wasn't like he and he wasn't supposed to and

i know for a fact he fucking did that because he's a muslim and he just wanted to stick it to the jew one more time yeah and he also wants to display to us that if we're going to be doing two a week he needs more money he's like hey listen, listen, I appreciate that you're doing nice things for me. And you mentioned my name on the podcast, but I'd like, I need more money. I need a little bit more money. Instead of 75. It's a cheap theater. I'd like maybe $100 or something because I need more money because I need more finger tattoos.

Listen, the deal is, look, I mess up a lot during the week. But if you want me to mess up twice as many times because you have two episodes, I'm going to need another $25. I need more money. Because. Yeah. So people have been asking me about those episodes. Guess what? What?

They've been learning a lot of harsh realities. Because a lot of people who are non-tutes. Non-tutes. harsh realities because a lot of people who are non-toots non-toots props to the non-toots have been dming me going how come i don't see the andrew schultz or rachel feinstein uh guest interviews on patreon then i only have one thing to say to you you're a fucking toot with fumes yeah and that's the reason or you're a non-toot only at the $5 level. Yeah. Guess what? We're screwed in, kids. Yeah, we're fucking screwed in. And if we're going to do an episode with a high-powered Jew, it's going to be for the tens only.

It's going to be for the tens only. So make no mistake, you're going to have to reach a little deeper into that pocket and pay the history high heat of rent because it just got adjusted for inflation. That's what it is. Cause I'm going to put some locks up my ass right now. So yeah, the interview episodes, which there will be when we're done, there will always be four in the chamber.

Yeah. We should have three and we only need one more, but now we need two more. And once we get four in rotation, you non toots are going to be enjoying it. Only the non toots, the $10 toots will be enjoying those episodes for four weeks and then Isis will be releasing the oldest one yeah every week for the for the for the toots so we always give the toots what they we always give the toots what they what what they can't afford right but if but the people

who can afford it who want to sit in first class think about being a member of patreon.com slash bay ridge boys as sitting in first class first class you get to see the toots walk by you and sit in the back because because make no mistake we've talked about this before some neighborhoods have a little turbulence bay ridge does not turbulent we got friendly skies so when you're flying through the friendly skies of bay ridge and the matriarchy and the history is podcast which is a friendly skies podcast, you want to be in first class. You want to be on Patreon. If you want to go listen to another podcast and you know it's going to be a little turbulent, then you could sit and coach.

No problem. But for us, we're first class kind of podcast. So we want to get you the full experience. So you're going to have to go to Patreon dot com slash Bay Ridge boys like for today for free for the free apps right now for the non-tuts because anybody can listen to this right now we're going to talk about james armistead lafayette who was a revolutionary war spy hero who was black and because it's black history month we're doing episodes only about prominent black figures in history so i wanted to try to make a stretch i want to try to make a stretch and do an episode

on freddie mercury because he was born in africa and And you always told me that's racist and we can't do it because it's specifically about African-Americans. Yeah. You were saying he's African. I'm going, yeah, he's a white kid from South Africa. Yeah. We're doing Black History Month. Doesn't count. We're talking about African-Americans.

But you picked this episode and it's a good one. It's a good one. So it's going to be we're going to give you a lot of fun facts and history and talk wild about James Armistead Lafayette, who was handpicked himself by the Marquis de Lafayette, who was the highest ranking French officer in the Revolutionary War in the Revolutionary War and General George Washington's right hand man. And it's going to be wild and it's going to be a good ep and you're going to like it. If you want to hear more about it, though, and more fun factual is that we keep hidden from the fucking toots because we don't want toots you know around our property because make no mistake that we're fucking conservatives we don't want to turn our property we only want the behind closed doors because we don't pay taxes on toots so so you're gonna have to go to patreon.com slash bay ridge boys and obviously we're not conservatives even though even though yannis is getting more conservative because he's

getting older and getting married. So he's getting more. He's leaning more to the right. Because because make the most reasonable people are. It's like the new gay thought for liberal people. Yeah. For classical liberals. The new conservative thought is like a forbidden gay.

Can't do it. Yes. Make a lot of in the closet liberals with conservative thoughts right now. Yeah. Because make no mistake. The chances if you're right, you're probably on the right. That's the truth. No, here's the truth. I was going to say this before.

Yeah, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Yeah. What did hit you like a ton of bricks? Yeah. Well, you get what you can because your shirt is a 10 out of 10 funny, hilarious shirt right now. It looks like somebody's pajama pants because I thought it was different and wild. And I just went for it. That's a Chrissy D decision right there. It is. That you fucking went wild.

I mean, we'll post a picture or you can see on the video when we post a video of this podcast on our YouTube. We don't shout out on our YouTube enough. What is it? YouTube.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. YouTube.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. You can catch all these episodes up on our YouTube. They go up a little later because you're

an extra toot. If you're going to YouTube, you're a toot squared. Yeah, but you will get to see the full episodes eventually whenever ISIS remembers to put them up. 100% episodes come out about, I would say, two months after release on page. The problem is, you know, Zach Ice has got a lot of a lot of stuff to do. He's got a he's got a studio that he has to upload the stuff on and make. And don't forget, which is a lot of work to begin with, but he's also, you know, he gets a finger tattoo every week, so he needs to let his fingers heal before he can get to

YouTube. In the head, fuck up my hair. Cuz, he's still got fucking 10 toes, and he's probably going to put letters on those as well. Make no mistake, he will. Cuz, can you imagine the type of jungle that's in between Isis' butt cheeks? It's got to be fucking wild. There's probably dingleberries all in that thing like a Christmas tree.

The rainforest cafe in his ass. Cuz, he's got fucking fuel. And here's what I'm going to say. When we can get our Patreon, and I'm just going to say it, and unfortunately because I'm saying it on the air, live on the air, it's just going to have to be truth. It's just going to have to be what it is but it'll be worth it when we get our patreon to 100 000 a year i am going to post a picture of my open asshole and yannis live on the podcast you can't do that it's going to put one of zach isis's toes in his mouth for three seconds so that is that right here what are we gonna do with mike bush mike mush we're gonna fucking because i'll we'll let mike bush went far on your head because when mike Is that right here? What are we going to do with Mike Mush? Mike Mush?

We're going to fucking. Because we'll let Mike Mush fart on your head. Because when Mike Mush is awake and laughing at the pod, you know it's a good joke and it has to be true. Yeah. Because most of the time Mike Mush is just fucking nodding off. Yeah. So the fact that Mikey laughed at that one means it has to be true. When we get to $100,000, we're at $36,000 a year right now. We get to $100,000, we're at $36,000 a year right now. We get to $100,000.

I will post a picture of my open asshole and Giannis will put one of Zach Isis's toes in his mouth for three seconds live. That is for wild. Patreon.com slash a marriage. Let me just be very crystal clear with Mike mush right now. Yeah, I'm going to tell you about your future. I was looking at you and I saw your future. Here we go.

I'm going to tell you about your future. I was looking at you and I saw your future. Here we go. I saw you wearing a tool belt of insulin needles, and that's what it's going to be. How long do you think that's going to happen? Three to five years. That kid's got a fucking Batman and Robin tool belt filled with insulin needles. Yeah.

Mikey. No, he's losing a lot of weight. Look at his face. Cuz you're doing good. Yeah. How much have you lost? Really? I could tell. Right when I looked at at him i was like no i disagree cuz you look fucking jacked cuz your jawline is bad let's make no mistake i'm running a lot and it just feels good to not here's the thing i've been letting the gay come out because I realized the reason why- Let the gay out with a nice yas right now. Yeah.

Let it out. Come on, Chris. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because it takes a lot of energy to push down the gay 24-7. That's why your triceps are so diesel. That's why my triceps are so jacked.

So what I've been doing now is I've been letting the gay pop out about an hour a day. Yeah. I just fucking tuck it back. I sit on my ottoman. I cross my legs. I throw on Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Yeah. And I just fucking get on Grindr and see what's popping. Because when I'm over at your house and you crawl up onto the counter. Yeah. I'm letting the gay out. When I do that, I'm letting the gay out. Yeah, you're letting the gay out. But I wish I had a bowling ball that I could just throw at you.

Yeah. I want to knock you off that counter like bowling because that's a fun. You you get a kick out of that when it was me. It was me, Janice and Delilah, my daughter last week. And we were there was plenty of seats because only two people in me. And I just crawled up on my kitchen counter and I was watching history docs with you picking my toes, sitting in the install on my kitchen counter.

Yeah. And I don't even realize I was there. Truly. I didn't even realize that I had done that. It's only when you called it out. Like, what are you doing? I kind of came to and was like, why am I on here? So that's happened.

I've blacked out. I've blacked out 100%. I've blacked out a few times. Half your life is lived blacked out. It's a blacked out. Cuz? Cuz, when I ask you what we did yesterday, you have no recollection of it. I don't have any recollection.

You live in the moment like a fucking dog. Like a dog. I'm just ready to go. Yeah. Cuz? And then I want to get to James Armistead Lafayette. But just real quick, I just want to talk about this real quick is I was with Patty Flyballs, a.k.a. Pat Finnegan, a.k.a. FDNY Patty. And and we were in Denver this weekend. By the way, thank you to all the history. I came out to Denver. There was five sold out shows of Denver comedy comedy work so thank you guys so much a lot of ahina fans out there and we appreciate that um uh but the article came out in the new york times about the 200 priests with alleged abuse um from the brooklyn queens diocese and you sent out a 10 out of 10 a 10 out of 10 fucking meme of patty fly balls reading the article looking for the priest. And then the next picture is he found the priest. And make no mistake, one priest on there, Father Joe Keller, married my mom and dad.

Yeah. So it's just what it is. Wild. It's been confirmed now because I've seen a couple of priest names that I recognize from St. Matthias. Yeah. That the blackouts have some meaning now yeah yeah and there's just some answers to some questions because i may have but let's go fuck more than once because this yesterday was a rough day for the tri-state area for the irish kids for the irish kids the puerto rican kids yeah and the italian kids yeah the

greeks you kind of escaped this there's no real abuse in the Greek church. And we have to talk about what's the reason why it only is Catholic priests? Is it a cover for gay men? Look. Gay pedophiles? Look, I'm going to just. And then we got to get to James Armistead. Yeah, look, I'm just going to cue up, Zach. You're going to be saying it's just what it is in some language after what I'm about to say.

And Wei Shanxian we need. Because I'm just about to be crystal clear with everybody. Let's go. Life is too hard for most people to raw dog. Yeah. And what I mean by that is you need some type of sauce to be able to survive emotionally. Yeah. It's a tough life.

Even best case scenario, it's going to be tough. People you love are going to die. You're going to struggle. You're going to be uncomfortable. You got to be a fighter to survive and you got to have a sense of humor to survive emotionally. That's the best way to do it. Comedy and sense of humor. But most people that's not enough because they're just not strong enough to face the pain. So they paint over the pain. They paint over the pain with booze. Yeah. With vape pens.

Yeah. With weed. Yeah. With donuts and food. Yeah. With religion. Yeah. Make no mistake,

religion is a stale, poisonous philosophy and mantra that gets in your brain and turns you into a less than evolved, barely sliding into humor, bipedal creature that walks on two legs. Yeah. But it makes you closer to the monkeys than it does to Elon Musk.

Yeah. And it's just what the fuck it is. It's what it is. And it's just what the fuck it is It's what it is So when you want to know why Catholic priests are touching kids It's because the dumb mantra Tells them that they can't jerk off

They have to have guilt And that they're not supposed to have sex You cannot sublimate Life's urge for procreation That's the strongest instinct that life is born with. And if you think for one second that you're not programmed the way you're programmed, because during your formative years,

when that big head was forming and solidifying, they were screwing in that shit into your brain. Yeah. You got another thing coming. Cause Chrissy Catholics is what led to chrissy chaos yeah yeah because that's a fucking wild thing you just said and it's true and make no mistake for the first time in my life i I spoke to my mom and I lean on the phone and my mom. That must have been you. Could you get a word in edgewise?

No. Well, I'll let you say how my aunt said it. But my mom and I, well, they both kind of what they said was, hi, and I lean. What they said was is I said, can you believe what's happened? And even my mom and I lean said, if I was a young boy, when I when I was a young boy, if this stuff was happening and this stuff was prevalent in the news, they wouldn't let me go on trips up to you. So this where we used to go, where there was big Catholic retreats up there for Archbishop Malloy and St. Matthias. Yeah, I said I wasn't allowed to go. Thanks.

What do you have to say to that? Well, it's good. I will. My sister, of course, because, you know, listen, Chrissy, I mean, you know, we both tried the best we can to raise you. Okay. Yeah. We tried to have clear divisions on what was my house, what was the house. And of course, the staircase was for everybody, including family, relatives, friends or whatever.

Yeah. I always agree with your mother because your mother is very hardworking. I mean, she had to raise you because someone had to bring home the bacon because your father is a good for nothing gambler. But that aside. Yeah. you because someone had to bring home the bacon because your father's a good-for-nothing gambler. But that aside, the problem is now, Chrissy, that... Hold on.

The problem is they're talking about it now. Why is everybody talking about it? I mean, back in the day, we went to Mass. Everyone minded their business and kept quiet. We went to Mass. We ate the blood and bread of Christ And we went along our business You know Father Bill came over we got him an Entenmann's cake We had a nice thing we did our crosses

And everything was fine And then he took me down in the basement to help me do the laundry He helped you do the laundry And Victor was disciplined We're going to need a lot of cackles because I'm losing it No go ahead it doesn't matter he's dead Yeah well he had to discipline me a few times but that was just nobody talked about what was happening. The problem is these fucking liberal reporters now.

These liberal reporters on welfare, they're talking. Everyone's writing articles. Nobody needs to know what the truth is. They know what they're doing. We put faith in our fathers representing the Virgin Mary. And so that's the real problem, Chrissy. You gotta tell all your comedy friends. By the way, where's Denver? Was that fun for you? Yeah, Denver

was nice to have. Where's that? Is that in Long Island? No, it's by the Rocky Mountains. They have a lot of churches there. Native American casinos. Yeah, the Native Americans. Chrissy, we're just really proud of you. Yeah, we're really proud yeah, they got company. Chrissy, we're just really proud of you.

Yeah, we're really proud of you, Chris. We're right, you know, as your mother, I'll always love you. And then, you know, Delilah just needs to hang out more with the family. And, you know, I can't wait to have a 10-20! I'm sorry, Father Bill. I'm sorry. I'm sorry,

James. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Chris, you know, your mother gets a little excited when we're talking about your baby's mom it's just yeah we're just very proud of you yeah to travel in the country and that you have a friend from park slope just please keep doing that yeah yeah do we have to cackle that whole part out no let's keep it no let's cackle it out or remove it and put it on the patreon yeah we're gonna cackle out that whole conversation only for the Patreon cause make no mistake I'm fucking Screwed in happy Hanukkah

Cause this is what I realized Patreon.com slash Bayridge boys This is what hit me like a ton of bricks When we were about to get a couple Salads Cause we have to get to James Armistead Cause we're 27 minutes into the podcast And make no mistake we have fucking Danny to James Armistead Lafayette because we're 27 minutes into the podcast and make no mistake, we have fucking

Danny HPV soda coming up. Yeah, we do. And it's Black History Month, so it is what it is. Get this last point out. It hit me when you asked me about if we could do Freddie Mercury for Black History Month. At first I'm going, is he

fucking stupid? But then I realized, and it hit me when we were about to get salads. Yeah. I was like, look, Chrissy is just a white kid from Queens. Yeah. You're just an FDNY kind of kid. Yeah. And so when you're around anyone who's not from Queens, you're just kind of dealing with it.

Yeah. You're just kind of dealing with it yeah you're just kind of dealing with it you're just kind of looking from the outside going like i don't quite get what's going on here yeah you know what i mean yeah like i need to be around my guys yeah and so i don't blame you as much for saying hey can we do freddie mercury for black history month yeah because you're just a fucking fdny head from Queens. Because like, let's be, I'm just going to be crystal clear about something. Like the way that it's talked about in Ridgewood is just different. Like I had an Uncle Jimmy that he used to just say, instead of having my coffee black or coffee with no milk, he said, can I just have my coffee Leroy? Wei Song Xian.

Wei Song Xian. coffee Leroy way song she ain't way song she ain't way song she ain't I can't breathe I can't breathe way song she ain't yeah yeah that's what uncle jimmy used to say cuz and it's not right but it's just a truth and it's just a ridgewood coffee guys yeah and he really used to say that he said give me a leroy you said i like my i want my coffee leroy just a Ridgewood coffee. Guys. Yeah. And he really used to say that. I swear. He said, give me a Leroy. He said, I want my coffee Leroy.

Wait, I'm seeing. Oh God. Yeah. Cause, yeah. Cause it hurt. Yeah.

I mean, it's just true. Oh boy, that hit me hard. It hit you hard, right? I got hit a few times. Yeah. And then, you know what? It's funny though. I mean, it's just true. Oh, boy, that hit me hard. That hit you hard, right? I got hit a few times. Yeah, and then...

You know what? It's funny, though. I mean, I think even black kids have to admit that that's pretty funny. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's... Wow. So he would go in every time and say, give me Leroy?

Give me... And it's just, you know... And they knew what he was referring to. They knew what it was. So he would tell my Aunt Eileen, like, you know, and they would just... Everybody would just laugh about it. But, you know, I knew it was wrong. But it's still, you know, it's just funny. Like you said, black kids could laugh at it. Because my Uncle David and my Uncle Russell's would just laugh about it. But, you know, I knew it was wrong. But it's still, you know, it's just funny.

Like you said, black kids could laugh at it because my Uncle David, my Uncle Russell's boyfriend would laugh at it. Yeah. Look, New York is just. He's a black gay kid. Yeah. New York is just a specific place. Let's just be crystal clear. That's what it is.

We're New Yorkers. Yeah. It's a specific place where we just kind of know who we're dealing with within a couple seconds. Yeah. Because that's just what you had to do to survive in New York. You just kind of know what we're dealing with within a couple of seconds. Yeah. Because that's just what you had to do to survive, to survive in New York. You just kind of know what's being thrown at you immediately. Yeah. And, you know, if I saw your uncle on the street, I would probably say, hey, this kid's probably tortured a few people in the basement.

It is what it is. It's what it is. And it's just the truth. But make no mistake, when you look at old pictures of Yanni P, you look at pictures of old me playing ball. We're surrounded by every religion every culture every race because the fucking truth is we're just new york kids we love everybody yeah it's just it's just kind of what it is yeah we're not i mean yeah exactly there's racism in cities and in northeast but it's like you know it's like the irish irish irish and and blacks and blacks and

puerto ricans and italians and it's like yeah it's like, yeah, it's like city racism. And it's stupid. It's stupid. But like you said, the other episode, it's not the same as like that southern, like, you know, like they want to hurt people. Yeah. Like, hey, boy, you know, y'all, y'all could have went back to Africa if you want to. Y'all got to get out.

Don't talk to my dog. It's not like that level of like, hey, man, get off my property. Yeah. You know, never once in a million years ever think because someone's not my race or religion like hey man get off my property yeah you know never once in a million years ever think because someone's not my race or religion that they're inferior to me in any way it just was a thing that just never even occurred to me until i started to get older that other people think like that and they were just always stupid yeah and then you got into comedy and you realize that you just had to pretend people were funny if there were a certain ethnicity or

sexual orientation yeah that no matter what That was just play pretend with that. But that's just a different story. Santa is black. But you're a good fucking kid. I'm a good fucking kid and I did some research and I looked back into the history books and I'm a fucking Revolutionary War kid. I'm Colonial Chris D.

I love Colonial Times. I want Yanni to come the week after his wedding with me to the D.C. Draft House, which I'll be March 8th and 9th. Or March 9th and 10th. I apologize. I can't because I will be in Philadelphia the 8th and 9th. Okay, so it doesn't matter then. Yeah, it doesn't matter. But I wanted him to come with me to Colonial Williamsburg, but he can't.

But that's okay. But I'll be there March 9th. I'm sorry. I will be there March 8th and 9th. And you'll be there March 8th and 9th, and you'll be where March 8th and 9th? I will be in Philadelphia March 8th and 9th. I will be at West Nyack, New York, at Levity Live

in West Nyack, New York, the 22nd, 23rd, and 24th. So March, come see me in West Nyack or Philadelphia. Okay, great. Or go see Chrissy in D.C. In D.C. And also be at the I'll be in Philly.

If you can't make it to Giannis' weekend, I'll be in Philly this weekend, March 21st. I'm sorry. I'll be in Philly this weekend, February 21st to the 23rd at the Philadelphia Punchline.

And these hyenas are fucking because they're reproducing and our cackle is getting bigger. It's getting bigger. Like today's Patreon members, which we read at the end of every episode. If you join our Patreon, you get your name written at the end of the episode. It's getting bigger. Like today's patron members, which we read at the end of at the end of every episode. If you if you join our patron, you get your name right at the end of episode is the longest list of patron newest members of the matriarchy that we've ever had ever. We just keep multiplying because we're fucking.

So, OK, so I did research. His name is James Armistead Lafayette. He was just born a slave. Just James. A lot of slaves were just born with one name, their first name, and it's whatever their owners named them because they have no idea what lineage they actually came from. So that's why, you know, when you see even still to this day, like you'll see, you know, Shaquille O'Neal and you'd be like, O'Neal, that's Irish. Well, it's probably because

whatever lineage his family came from, his slave owners had that Irish name and they just kept it along. So he was born james and then james armistead because his owner william armistead uh you know slave owner he took the last name so he was born in when was he born in the 1750s i believe sometime in the 1750s doesn't matter the right 17 uh who cares yeah it's 40s i think it doesn't ever matter like when people are always like oh what year was what it's like who cares at this point you just google it yeah just fucking google it doesn't matter because it's not about are always like, Oh, what year was what? It's like, who cares at this point? You just Google it. Yeah. Just fucking Google it.

It doesn't matter because it's not about when he was born. It's about what he did during his life. And that I do know shit about. So by the way, this is a great, this is a great fucking grab by you. This is a very interesting, fascinating black history month story.

Absolutely. 48, 48. Yeah. Thank you. Zachary ice's fingers. So, um, what happened was,

is let me, let me just explain. So obviously we know the, the revolutionary war, America's fight for freedom, you know, British tyranny, fucking pigs holding us down,

you know, not, you know, making us pay taxes unjustly. And, you know, we don't want to be part of the British empire anymore. So we're going to get our fucking freedom because we're free American kids.

So what happened? The, you know, we devise our army the colonial army and slaves what do we do with all these slaves because america had a big slave population what we were saying initially initially in the beginning slaves could not fight for the colonial army for the continental army we they weren't allowed but britain came along and said hey listen practically practically any slave who's enslaved right now by the americans or any slave from britain if you fight for us and join this army right now you get freedom at the end of this war if we win this war you're a free man you have the same rights air, rights as any white man, because what Britain's whole, you know, what Britain's whole kind of agenda was. And it kind of made sense was like, hey, listen, Benjamin Franklin, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Samuel Adams.

These are great men. Right. They're such great men that they're fighting for freedom from us, the British, you know, tyrannical rule. But it's really only about white men because they're saying we want to be free. But that doesn't include slaves. Right. So but Britain was saying we will free you if you join our army. Probably just to cause a little chaos. Yeah. I mean, who knows what they would have done?

Exactly. But they wanted whatever whatever whatever mutiny they could get. They wanted because like, like my mom always says, you can only make the decision with the choices you have in the present because you don't know what's going to happen in the future. Yeah. And my son didn't listen to any of that. I didn't listen to any of that because I said, well, mom, I'm making a decision right now. I'm not pulling out with this girl with a tattoo in her tit. So I'm going to get it.

It's just what it is. It's just what it is just what it is so what happens is this so um they're fighting the war and then because you know let's let's be crystal fucking clear the uh u.s the usa the 13 kinds we're getting our asses handed to us until france comes and joins the war because they just hated England. So the top general of the French army, General Marquis de Lafayette, who, by the way, if you watch any colonial movie or you want like if you watch Mel Gibson's movie, The Patriot, he's always depicted as this old general with gray hair and looks like George Washington. He was a 21 year old kid. That kid was 21 years old.

he was a 21 year old kid that kid was 21 years old marquis de la fea was a 21 year old fucking kid who was the head the highest decorated member of the french army in the in colonial america and george washington's right hand man as a 21 year old fucking kid yeah back then you just grew up a lot quicker because at 21 years old i was still sleeping in the bed with my mother absolutely yeah you know it's wild to me it's like the 13 colonies yes at that point were the descendants of the brits yes so at what point did they become american you know they were like hey we're getting taxed we don't have representation when did they start to form that identity of like, hey, we're disconnected from you now? You know, do you think it had to do with when their accent changed? Like once they started to talk like this and no longer like, hello. Well, I think this is for the queen.

Once that started and they start to feel like American kids. I think that's when they start to feel like American kids. Yeah. And probably the Virginians talk like that. And they didn't sound like this anymore. No. Now they start to have like real. kids yeah and probably um virginians talk like that and they didn't sound like this anymore no now they start to have like real and then they're like we need our own fucking country you need our own fucking country yeah because we red white and blue yeah yeah we're no longer fighting for the queen no so that's yeah so that's probably when that happened is when the accidents changed but armistead um so it's it's

now now the revolutionary war War started, 1776. First of all, he looks like Hannibal Burroughs. Yeah! What if we just said everybody we covered who's black looks like Hannibal Burroughs? Because let's make no mistake, the only way to get controversial and get Hannibal, the only way to get Hannibal Burroughs on our podcast is to get controversial, just like the

only way he was able to get famous and sell tickets is he'd be controversial and outbuild Cosby! He won't be, sir, dude. That's Alpo Cosby. That's not true at all. That's not true at all. But it's funny. He was selling a lot of tickets because he's fucking a great comic. Yeah. And he's got a good cadence.

He's got a good cadence. And he's a smart, screwed-in kid. And he's a smart fucking kid. Yeah. And he's just a funny fucking kid. Yeah. And he's great. And he's a big friend of the show.

And he's cold as ice. And he's cold as ice. Probably a sociopathopath and we'd love to get him on the podcast you're chrissy you're chrissy truth sir yeah i'm chrissy truth Sam because let's make no mistake i'm 6'2 235 and i could throw some hands if you want to say something because you just made yourself an inch taller you can say it to my face yeah because you are a big fuck i'm a big fucking but you're not 6'2 you're 6'1". I'm 6'1". Which is more impressive that you could dunk.

And I'm not 230. I'm more like 239. You fat fuck. I got fat tits. Because your ass is fucking fat. But I got no fumes because make no mistake, I am the Uberman. You're German. Yes.

So when General Lafayette, the reason why he's significant is because let's be crystal clear about something in 1776, even though it's a colonial war, we're fighting for freedom, George Washington and Thomas Jefferson, even though he banged out, you know, his slaves, there still is an inferior view, even though it's got Alexander Hamilton, who everybody loves. Now there's still an inferior view of black people at that time it's just what it is they just they look at them as inferior people and property and slaves and that was continuing that was that that was three-fifths of a man three-fifths of a man

that was true even for great our greatest thinkers they just thought that way brutal brutal brutes magutes so but they start to lose the war. And Lafayette comes over with the French army and friend in France are a little bit more progressive. They still, you know, had their problems. But they were they in their country. They were looking at blacks at that time as not three fifths of a man. Is there more like a four fifths? He's closer to a man.

He's closer to the man. Yes. He's a very sexy special yeah so it's still an inferior view but it wasn't as inferior as the american view if that makes sense so what he said is he said look he said talk to georgie washington and he talked to the guys and he said look you first of all number one he said you have he said you have to start to make these slaves you have to get them in the army we need bodies yeah he said so what they'll be good at and fucking jack bodies because black

kids got fucking abs yeah they're fucking jack we need some of those jack bodies make no mistake because lafayette was french so he was probably half gay because let's be let me just be fucking honest with you i got a fucking little chubby when i saw on the news this week when i saw who jussie smollett's attackers were those two nigerian princes i was like yo they're fucking jack yeah they're cute nigerian kids and jussie smollett is a mental illness that's for another point in time yeah but he's a good looking kid he's a good looking kid and i didn't know he was in the movie mighty ducks he's also got nice teeth he's nice teeth but make no mistake being famous in hollywood is a mental illness.

It's a mental illness. He has it. Yeah. So, yeah. Anyway, besides the point, Marquis de Lafayette convinces the American army, we need to use slaves. We need to use the slaves. We need to you need to offer the same thing that Britain's offering.

Give them their freedom. You have to do that. And you also have to start to employ them into this army in different ways. Soldiers, cooks. And he has comes up with the idea for James. Break dancers. Break dance. Yeah. Yeah. It's just absolutely. James Armistead, James Armistead. He has the idea for James Armistead because he was taught how to read by William Armistead, his slave master. And he says, look, I met this guy, James Armistead. He said, I think he would be good going undercover.

What we'll do. So what we'll do is we'll have him go undercover as a waiter and a cook. Wait, that was that was after. But that was that was after. First, he is pretending to be an escaped slave. Well, no, but that's what I'm getting to. Yeah, but no. But the cook thing was afterwards. This was the cook came when he when he got Cornwallis but first he got benedict arnold well well yeah but

as an escaped slave no no no he didn't let me just let me fucking tell you what happened i think you're wrong no no so what happened was is the plan by lafayette was to say you're going to be a cook for general cornwallis the how you're going to get in say, you're going to be a cook for General Cornwallis. How you're going to get in there is you're going to walk on the road to Williamsburg, Virginia and towards Yorkville, Virginia, Yorktown, Virginia, as an escaped slave. So that's initially how you're going to get scooped up by the British Redcoat armies. You're going to get scooped up as an escaped slave with the with the with the job of being a cook.

So what? And the plan worked. What he had was is he had he had like all cooking ingredients and all stuff that a cook would have in his one boot. And he had papers that were forged, fake papers that were basically giving him his giving him his freedom from the Continental Army. And then he escaped. He was going, he was basically said to, he was escaping. The plan was he was escaping the colonial rule because he was free now, and he didn't want to fight for the American colonies. He wanted to fight for the British because, make no mistake, there was still that mindset in the 1700s.

It's like, do you want, are you loyal to the crown, or are you loyal to these new people? Because now by 1777, I believe this was, or 1778, both sides were saying blacks are free. It's just who do you believe more, the Brits or the Americans? And a lot of blacks still believe the Brits would be truer to their word because they had fucking better accents than the Americans. And his slave master and him had a pretty good relationship.

William Armistead. He taught him how to read. Yeah, he just asked him, hey, can I go leave and fight? And his slave master was like yeah yeah you can so william armistead had to give james armistead permission to even to even spy for the continental army which is wild that's how wild being you have to get permission to even fight for your cut like yeah you are not a human you're you're owned by something else so and we'll get to it later but yeah america was so fucked up a place he did what

chris is about to tell you he did so much for america yeah especially with the battle of yorktown and ending the war and he helped he helped washington and then even afterwards they still didn't want to give him his freedom because they said even though there was an act that said all slaves that fought for the americans were free They said, nah, he didn't fight. He was a spy. He was a spy. So they still try to hold the black man down. Motherfuckers.

Yeah, but then the French helped him. Helped him. So what happens is, is James Armistead does get scooped up by the British Army, and he gets scooped all the way up into General Cornwallis, the highest ranking general in the British Army's care, specifically as a cook. So as a cook and a waiter. So all these meetings that General Cornwallis is having with his top generals, including

Benedict Arnold, the fucking dirty fucking traitor who is a dirtbag traitor. But we did an episode on him already. And we told you that he's a fucking piece of shit, piece of fucking garbage. But in reality, I mean, he is a piece of shit. And, you know, everyone makes choices. He was kind of getting treated like an asshole by General George Washington. General George Washington wasn't giving him his money. So Benedict Arnold probably said, well, you know what?

If you don't want to give me my money, then I'm going to go fight with the Brits. If you're like a bit of a buddy, I'm going to change sides. He was basically Matt. He was getting disrespected like Mad Dog. Mad Dog would turn on us in a second. So make no mistake. Because we keep calling his mama, too would turn on us in a second. So make no mistake. Because we keep calling his mama too. Well, it's true.

Make no mistake. Benedict Arnold put on his fucking yarmulke and went to the other side. So give me a way Sean Sheehan for that. Can I get a way Sean Sheehan? Yeah. Thank you. You ever notice he hesitates on the Jew jokes? Yeah.

He hesitates on the Jew jokes because his brain is. Exactly. Yeah, that's why. So he hesitates. But you got to give away shan chian we got a lot of jewish listeners so um he gets scooped up and he hears all the fucking dirty shit that's going on with uh with the all the all the moves that the brits are going to make so he finds out that benedict arnold is going to go fight at yorktown and his exact movements exact regiment numbers everything he goes back and to armistead had a system where he would write letters to somebody else on the inside i don't know who it was and they would get the information back because the washington's camp and lafayette's camp wasn't too far away they were at williamsburg how was he able to travel between camps unnoticed like that he wasn't traveling he would write letters to others so he didn't actually move

he would like go a few you know whatever hundred yards outside the camp to like drop you know whatever do whatever like he had their trust he was like i'm going to get some water and then he probably met someone in the forest exactly and he was like hey man this is what's going down so somebody else would come from the forest and take those messages. So they fucking beat the British at Yorktown and almost captured Benedict Arnold himself. But that dirty little fucking slippery little slippery little fuck. He fucking slipped away into the night. But he retreated and was gone. But he retreated and was gone.

But the colonial army won that war, won that battle. And then that was one of the biggest turning points of the war. Because now, you know, you're pushing the Brits back and it just kept going and going, going. And General and James Armistead never got caught by Cornwallis until the very end when he rejoined the army. He rejoined the Continental Army. And actually, there was an actual real interview with Armistead and Cornwallis. And Cornwallis said to Armistead, I was going to give you your freedom. Like, why? Why would you do this to me? And Armistead said, because I want to be free, but I want to be free in the country I was born in. And this is the country I was born in.

So even Armistead, even knowingly, he's an American kid, American kid. And that's why I love James Armistead story so much, because he was could have he was offered right away British freedom by the British army to fight. And he still said, no, he said, I'm a TBP, James Armistead story so much because he was could have he was offered right away British freedom by the British army to fight and he still said no he said I'm a TBP a true blue patriot and I'm gonna fight I guarantee you he said I'm gonna fucking fight for the Americans and when we win I'm gonna give him my freedom because I trust him and the truth is like what always happens happens is they won the they won the war and then he wasn't given his freedom to a few years later and then he was probably pissed.

And he's like, you know what I should have did? I should have just fought with the Brits because these Americans are fucking liars. Yeah, there was an act, like I said, that said if you fought for the Americans, you had your freedom. And they said, oh, he didn't fight for his. He was a spy. So he didn't get his freedom. Then the Marquis Lafayette came through, noticed he was still a slave, was a little pissed about that, made a case for him and said, yo, you got to let this dude be free because he's my boy. And so he petitioned for him to be free.

And Lafayette helped him win his freedom because Lafayette was like a god. Him and George Washington became like gods, statues to Lafayette everywhere, D.C., et cetera. So and then he became free and he right he ended up moving up up to uh what what part he lived in um like richmond virginia area yeah somewhere around somewhere and he got 40 acres he bought himself he actually had a couple slaves yeah well that's the interesting part about james armistead and the interesting part about slavery is when james armistead finally was granted his freedom i believe in like 1788 by the Virginia government. He was given he was given two mules and three slaves, and he actually kept those slaves to do the work because it was just a thought process then that you needed people to work on your farm and on your land.

And those people could only be black slaves. Now, Armistead, because he was, you know, fairly treated by William Armistead, his white slave master. And of course, James Armistead is black black he he didn't treat his slaves unfairly he treated them very kindly and just used them as workers and they were free to roam around the house and it was they were you know they were still enslaved because they were owned by armistead they weren't free men but on the property they weren't beaten they weren't they were treated as human beings yeah yeah but he it's an uncomfortable truth yeah it's just what it is he was a freed slave who in turn had slaves yeah on his farm and he lived his life out as a farmer

yeah and he died i think in baltimore and then you're saying and he also got a pension from the government he got like some loot that he had to go pick up and he got 250 beans yeah when 250 bucks when he became a free man which which was an extraordinary amount of money, most people, most white men for selling a slave would only get a hundo. He got twice as much plus half because, you know, they just wanted they want to recognize him. And then when he became a free man, he said, you know, because he has, you know, let's be honest, like when you're a slave like that, you have no identity really from your actual birth roots. You don't know where you're from. You just were born into slavery and hardship so his last name was Armistead but then he changed it to James Armistead Lafayette he took

the Marquis de Lafayette's last name because the only because when he initially he kept getting denied freedom until Marquis de Lafayette himself came back for a tour of the 13 colonies and then the new 11 states we had 24 states he toured all 24 states.

And in his touring, he said, I want to make Armistead a free man. Couldn't believe that he's not. Couldn't believe that he wasn't. So it was really Lafayette that pushed the U.S. government, the colonial government, to fucking be free. Yeah. So to give Armistead his freedom. So that's what he did. And that's why James Armistead Lafayette is the name that goes down in history because he took Marquis de Lafayette's last name.

You got to appreciate how much of a giant figure he is because you got to know how important that battle was at Yorktown. Yeah, it was basically the end of the war. Yeah, he was instrumental in providing intelligence on the movement of the troops. intelligence on the movement of the troops. He was actually the prevent... He helped prevent reinforcements of the British troops at Yorktown in Virginia.

And that he was able to win the trust of Benedict Arnold, who was just giving him secrets. And then was smart enough to fucking... He was an act because he was Donnie Brasco. Yeah.

He was Leroy Brasco. Yes. Yeah. Wei Zhongxing, please. Wei Zhongxing. What it is. Because he, I mean, that's a dangerous job.

He was a fucking, he did a invaluable, Yeah. invaluable contribution to the American revolutionary effort. And as a revolutionary effort and as a cook and as a waiter he was in those little dinner meetings that cornwallis had and he overheard all these you know secrets yes and he was able to go back and give them to the good boys yeah give them to the fucking boys yeah what it is. And that's what happens.

And Britain just fucking even today. The reason why you're fucking not even close to the US is because you still have a queen. This is a patriarchy driven society. And let's be crystal clear about something. Yeah. The reason why he probably turned down freedom. Yeah. With the Brits.

Yeah. Because they were probably like, you know, we offer you to come back to the motherland. And he's like, all right. Like, that sounds good. Can I. What kind of food y'all got? Yeah. And they were like, well, we have toast and beans.

Yes. And he's like, I. Come on, man. Y'all ain't got no pigs out there. Yeah. Y'all ain't got no greens. No. Y'all ain't got no sweet potatoes. No. Let's'all ain't got no greens. No. Y'all ain't got no sweet potatoes.

No. Let's be honest. The reason why. Ain't no Italian fuck. Yeah. The reason why he stayed in America is the reason why everyone stays in America. Fucking Pete's. Pete's.

James Armistead said, I just want Pete's. So I don't want to fight for the fucking dirty British government. I want to fight for the Americans because they got Pete's. Yeah. And if I want to be transgender, I could be it. I'll be the fucking next president one day. Okay. So that was about James Armistead.

And he's just a fucking powerful black American that I don't think enough people know about. Yeah. And he just makes me. And fuck, we got Dan Soder coming up. Oh, it's exciting. But only the non-toots will get it for four weeks. But he's lurking around. He's a lurky, dangly motherfucker.

He's a lurky, dangly kid. Yeah. He's a lurky. Denver Dan's in the building. Denver Dan, he's going to be on our next episode that's only for the patreon members for a couple weeks for a couple of weeks yeah you know him from billions and you and you know him from guy code because that's what you just know you know he's just another white comedian that people think is andrew schultz all

three of you are andrew schultz all andrew schultz but before we go as we always do we're going to read out the newest members of the matriarchy, the people who fucking are now they've went from non toots. They went from toots. They were dirty prostitutes. And now they are fucking clean. They have clean asses and no fumes. And they're non toots because they went to Patreon dot com slash Bay Ridge boys. And as usual, I will read their names and Giannis will guess their ethnicity because

you look like a retired American gladiator. Yeah, I'm an American gladiator with tits. up brian castillo yo que pasa mi gente yeah brian castillo likes to fucking have a bath in a fire hydrant that's what it is yeah rocky can we get a way song zing please rocky maroki or rocky maroki rocky maroki he definitely has a van with a phone number on the outside and he's got a family business he spells it r-o-k-i and then last name m-u-r-o-k-i he's either a jap he's a panamanian kid move on to the next one okay thank you for your service roki maroki next up leo love handles leo love handles is a funny kid ppw nominee yeah ppw Funny. Now we got Matt Lewandowski. He's a dumb Polack.

You're a dumb Polack, you pierogi fuck. But thank you for joining. Oh, here's one of my people in service. The fourth hike, Brett Meinhardt. Bright Meinhardt, awesome ice. He's in the Uber, man. Brett Meinhardt. He's a German. Next up, Antonio Zona.

Antonio Zona has a van with a phone number on the outside. He loves his mother. Yeah. Next up, Antonio Zona. Antonio Zona has a van with a phone number on the outside. He loves his mother. Yeah. Next up, Colin Hoover. Colin Hoover is a fucking white kid. White. Next up, Southeast Asian Muzzy Boy. PPW nominee.

Yeah. Next up, Ray D. Poguero. Ray D. Poguero? I don't know. Sounds like he's dan soda's friend from arizona and they were dealing drugs together when they got robbed in an arizona studio apartment yeah and they both got salamander tattoos and they're white trash andrew bankin andrew bankin yeah that's a waspy white fucking pasty kid justin washington justin washington he is a he is uh this this month's for him yeah yeah happy black history month justin washington yeah next up justin nap

justin nap he's a knapp yeah he's a filipino kid he's related to andrew kunanen yeah jacid manga jacid manga yeah he's aat? Yeah. He's a South Asian doctor. He's a South Asian doctor. Meaning he's an Indian kid. Yeah, he's a South Asian doctor, meaning he moved to America and now works at a 7-Eleven. Yeah. And he wants all Pakistanis dead. Yeah, except Hasan Minhaj.

He's not Pakistani. It doesn't matter. They're all the same to me. I'm kidding. Welcome to the sandbox. Michael G gugig michael gugig michael gugig michael gugig yeah that's a he's a croatian kid yeah this kid's a croatian kid trino agoniga trino agoniga also trino 14 trino 14 Wow. He's a dumb fucking Lithuanian kid. Yeah.

Next. Pat Cole. Pat Cole? That is a wasp kid. There's no question his great grandparents fucking had slaves in Virginia. 100%. Pat Cole. Kimberly VDW.

She sounds like a pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-B-E-R-L-E-E that means she swallows Nathan Eastman Nathan Eastman same thing his grandparents probably know Cole's grandparents 100% he's a plantation kid and there's wild game on a family

property in Africa that's in his name Claudio Robles R-O-B-'s in his name. Claudio Robles. R-O-B-L-E-S. Claudio Robles? Robles. Robles. Robles. Oh, he's a French kid. Claudio Robles. He's a dumb fucking kid. Next up, one name, Rolando. If you have one name, you're in the NBA

draft. You're a black kid. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Nick. Oh, here's one of your guys. Nick Caravolos. Nick, where are you from? Where are you from? He comes to Ziki.

Because that's a kid who lives in the basement with his parents and works in his parents' restaurant. 100%. Next up, Bradley Bitch Tits, former toot, now just cute. PPW nominee. 100%. Doesn't matter whether he transcends ethnicity. Next up, Bradley Bitch Tits, former toot, now just cute. PPW nominee. 100%. Doesn't matter whether that's... He transcends ethnicity. Ken Birch.

Ken Birch? B-U-R-C-H. Wow, he just sounds like one of those dicky... Is Ken Birch going to be there? Ken Birch. Yeah, he's just a fucking dangly, dumb, white kid. He's got a picture of a dog with a suit on in his profile pic, so it's pretty funny. Yeah, I'm going to say that he's a Polish kid.

Next up, Big Peace Patrice. Big Peace Patrice, Black Kid PPW nominee. Scott M. Stannard. Oh, God, could you get whiter than a Scott? And it's all in caps lock. God, he's so white it hurts your back. Absolutely. Scott, Scott.

And what's the last name? Stannard. Stannard. Scott Stannard. so white it hurts your back absolutely scott scott and what's the last name um uh standard standard scott standard scott standard scott standard scott standard so white he was the first he was the initial jesse smollett suspect name when jesse smollett said what do you think his name could be yeah they said his name's got to be scott m standard yeah that's who put a noose around my neck and chemicals on my body but then when you fucking actually see who it was two cute nigerian two cute nigerians and last but not least yeah johani size 38d chest hernandez well we know he's a puerto rican no it's a girl size 38d chest hernandez if you really have 38 d's and dme at christy comedy yeah especially if you have pictures on those tits yeah and thank you guys so much. Those are all the

newest members of the Matriarchy, the Matrion. They've went to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. They will now get all stuff that they will all get all the same stuff that you get, but they'll get it weeks in advance. They'll get certain things they'll only get for Patreon, like our walk and talks, our kamikaze episodes,

some interviews that we decide if they're so fucking good we're only going to put them on Patreon. And it's just you get to be a part of our family and you can write in the community board it's like the new fraternity it's like we it's a fucking safe space yeah patreon.com slash bay ridge boys when we get to a hundred thousand dollars for the year when we get there and we will get there chris will jump off a building and kill himself i will jump off a building and kill myself but before i do that we dissect Mike Mush. I will send a picture of my, I will post this, and you have my word,

I will post a picture of my open asshole on the patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys, and Giannis will put one of Zach Isis' toes in his mouth for three seconds. When we get to $100,000, we're at $36,000 now, so we will get up there, and we can only do it with your guys' service.

Do you understand that we're going to lose Patreon members if you're promised that if we get to a certain number, you're going to put a picture of your open asshole on us? I'm Chrissy Goes. I'm Chrissy Cunanan. It's what I do. I can't be stopped. We got to go. Thank you guys so much for listening. I'm going to go

suck a cock and you stay. We're just going to call. Ready, Giannis? Yep. Mike Moosh So what's my Are you working with us now? What are you doing? Because you're just learning everything?

Yeah Alright That's good Happy to have you that's good happy to have you this is talia volcanoes hello hey talia volcanoes this is chris estefo and yanni feta cheese poppers from the history hi how are you hi thank you for being a valued 25 member of the matriarchy and the history

hyenas podcast and being part of the cackle and mostly thank you for being a Peace. You're a peace. Are you a Greek girl? I am. I'm 100% Greek. Wow. How mad would your dad be right now if he knew you were on the phone with boys? Well, I'm a little bit... Like, if I was 16, yeah, he'd probably, like, kill me. But at this point, I think I'm doing okay. Yeah. But do you have a boyfriend?

No, I don't. Do you want to come to Giannis Pompous' wedding? Yeah, for sure. Let's go. Where do you live? Where do you live? I'm in New Hampshire. Oh, good state. Live free or die. Yeah.

Are both your parents Greek? Yeah, they both are parents Greek? Yeah, they both are. My dad actually came here when he was like 35. So he's like straight up. Wow. Most people came with him with his accent. Yeah.

What is it? What do you do at a diner restaurant? Uh, so he was actually a doctor in Greece. Wow. Wow. So what is, what does that mean in America?

It means he's a doctor here too, right? So yeah, the license didn't carry over because I mean, whatever, Europe, America. But he like got into pharmaceuticals and I don't know, he did like stuff with prescriptions. I don't know. I don't know what he did. Well, you know what? But he's a smart guy. He learned English when he was like 35.

Of course he's a good guy. He's Greek, he's superior Yeah, yeah But he kind of always wanted your boyfriend Not to go nuts Around magicians, right? Wait, what? He's basically saying your dad

Chris is saying Can you get a Wei Zhong Jing on a phone call, please? Yeah Jesus Christ Wei Zhong Jingin on a phone call, please? Yeah. Jesus Christ. He's basically saying your dad wants you to marry somebody Greek, right? Or at least somebody white. He just wants me to get married, period.

Like, I could, like, become president, and my dad would be like, yeah, but, like, have you gotten married yet? Right. Well, that's because he wants grandchildren. He wants grandchildren. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I guess. How's New Hampshire? Do you like New Hampshire?

I love New Hampshire. So, I actually, I just moved back to New Hampshire? Do you like New Hampshire? I love New Hampshire. So I actually, I just moved back to New Hampshire from D.C. I was in D.C. for like a year and a half. So I just moved over to Portsmouth. I'm going to be in Portsmouth, New Hampshire in May at the Red Hook Brewery. I know. I already bought you tickets. Wow.

Yes. I'm going to meet your father. Yeah. Listen, thank you. No, obviously, all seriousness. Just kidding. We really want to thank you for being part of the majorarchy. And, you know, because you're a value $25 member, we're going to call you once a month, every month. And we really appreciate your service. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Hey, you're welcome.

And thanks for teaching me something about history because I'm an engineer and like, I just never paid attention in history in school. I don't like, I know nothing. And this has like given me like a little bit of knowledge and it's just been good. And it makes me laugh. It's been a catalyst. It's been a catalyst. It's been a catalyst for you to Google more. That's,

that's what we do here on this podcast. You're an engineer. That means you're smart. Yeah. But to be fair, I don't even think I'm engineering. I'm Googling stuff on history. I just listen and that's it. But still like even that much,

like it helps. It really helps. I feel like a lot, a lot more well-rounded. Well, thank you very much for, for being a $25 member. We really helps. I feel like a lot more well-rounded. Well, thank you very much for being a $25 member. We really appreciate you. We'll speak

to you next month. Yeah. And hopefully you find yourself a Greek boyfriend and keep Chris away from your dad because your dad will kill you if you bring home this piece of trash. Thank you, Thalia. Happy Orchid Day. Happy Orchid Day. Yeah, that was

a Greek girl. Yeah, let's do another one. Make no mistake, if she comes to your show and you try to bang out, her father will take a machete and try to cut off that big fucking head. Let's be honest, her dad came from Greece and Googled a map of the United States

and just tried to pick the state with the most white people. That's why I moved to New Hampshire. We got Jeremy Lampert. Is she really a papa? She's a papa. Talia Webb. Your wave here this episode. Ooh.

Yeah. Cackle, cackle. Mike Suarez. We'll cackle over. It's going to be funny because in two weeks Giannis is going to have a wave because we're a diverse podcast Lambert, Jeremy Lambert Lambert

Jeremy what's up Jeremy hey Lambert this is Chris DiStefano yes Chris DiStefano and Giannis Pops from the History Yo, what's up? What's up, Jeremy? Hey, Lambert. This is Chris Estefan. What's up, guys? Yes, Chris Estefan on Giannis Pops from the History of Ionians. You're a valued $25 member, so we're giving you a call. What are you doing?

I am just enjoying the sun in fucking Honolulu. Oh, we called you already. Fucking amazing. Oh, you're a kid that we called? Oh, we called you already. Fucking amazing. Oh, you're a kid that we called? Yeah, you guys called. Well, now we're not going to call you again for two months.

Thank you guys so much. And we got to get off the phone. Thank you for being a valued member of the Major League. I see you. Keep fucking up. Jeremy Lamb. Hey, Bert. I'll see you later.

We love you, brother. Thank you. Love you, brother. Thank you. Hang up. I thought so when you said Jeremy Lamb. Do you want to try a different new one? We are. We're. I thought so when you said Jeremy Lambert. Do you want to try a different new one?

We are. We're just wild. Let's go to the next one. Justin Washington. We're hyenas. Mike Suarez. I got to get in the habit of calling him Suarez and not Mike because I'm not even going to say it because I know you don't like it. No, it's fine. Okay, Mike Mush.

It's actually a good nickname. I was getting these. It beats Chrissy Kavanaugh. Or Ku actually a good nickname. I was getting these. It beats Chrissy Kavanaugh. Or Ku Klux Chrissy. Or Ku Klux Chrissy. Or Pussyhat Pappas. Or Isaac. Or Zach Ice's face.

Justin Washington. Justin Washington. This is a black kid. What? Hello? Hey, what's up? Justin Washington. This is Chris Estefano and Giannis Pappas from the History of Hyenas. We just want to ask how you feel being drafted in the NBA draft this year.

That feels fucking amazing, my dude. Yeah. Congrats, man. Cuz that name sounds like it comes with a stat sheet. Justin Washington. Are you a black kid, a white kid, or a Chinese kid? I'm black as fuck, my guy. Yo, happy Black History Month, cuz. Yo, we know it.

Hey, bring it in. Bring it in. Bring it in. I cannot. Yo. There's nothing more better than being a non-tute right now. Yo, bro, you're a fucking non-tute. Now, let's be honest.

We just have to ask. Did you hear us on Andrew Schultz's Flagrant 2 podcast? You got that right. Yeah. That's just what it is. Yo, ISIS wants to know if he can send you his demo to see what got there, right? Yeah. Just what it is. Yo, ISIS wants to know if he can send you his demo to see what you think about it.

Yeah. Did you think I was Andrew Schultz until I was a guest on his podcast? Yeah. Where do you live? Where do you live? Oh, where I live right now? Yeah.

I live in Grand Falls, Washington. It's like about 30, 45 minutes away from Seattle. Wow. Originally, I'm from Philadelphia, Maryland, though, but I'm in the military, so I bounce around a little bit. Thank you for your service. Thank you for your service. So make no mistake, Justin Washington is one of the boys. Justin Washington is one of the fucking boys.

Thank you, cuz. I'm one of the goddamn boys. One of the fucking boys cuz you're gonna love our episode we just did a fucking yeah cuz we just did a wild fucking episode and because you're a valuable 25 matron member patreon member non-toot we just did a wild episode on james armistead lafayette who was a colonial or revolutionary war war hero american hero who was a black kid who helped spy on the British and take down the British Empire and give us our freedom from the British Empire.

So you're going to fucking love that episode. Hell yeah, man. I'm down for snatching all the crippers and drinking all they see, bro. Absolutely, cuz. Yeah. Justin Washington, you're a good fucking kid. You're a good American kid. Yeah. Yeah. Are you stationed out there? You living out there now? He said he's stationed out there. You're a good fucking kid You're a good American kid Yeah

Yeah Are you stationed out there? You living out there now? He said he's stationed out there You're stationed out there? Yeah Have you traveled around the world? Have you seen a lot?

Because I know a lot When you're in the military Sometimes you get stationed In different places Yeah I have traveled Not all over the world though But I have traveled

To the Mediterranean And also To the The Gulf Where Zach Isis and me and then you know Matt Tiger and all that shit. Yeah, thank God that place is in fucking ruins

right now. When you were in the Mediterranean, did you bang out any Greek girls? Hell no. I didn't even get a chance to go to Greece. Damn it. Wow, bastards. Let me ask you a question now because it just... Next time, bang one out. Just by the sound of it granite falls Washington sounds like a place that's got a lot of

Whites Is that true Yeah it's mostly whites You're surrounded by snow out there Yeah yes I am Figuratively and literally right now Alright brother well listen man we just want to call And thank you for being a valuable member

Of the matrion and the patreon and the patriarch and the matriarchy. So and you're part of the cackle. You're fucking one of the wild kids, part of the cackle. And we're going to call you every single month. And we just really appreciate the support. Truly. Thank you, brother. Hey, look, I appreciate you guys and what y'all doing and everything. And also, I want to let y'all know I have been slanging my Jack Johnson out here. So I have been keeping it alive. Yeah. Slanging the Jack Johnson. Yeah, So I have been keeping it alive out this piece.

Slanging the Jack Johnson. Yeah, cousin, make no mistake. You got a nice piece. We just fucking know you got a nice big piece. Yeah, I got that industrial glue gun, man. Yeah, I got that industrial glue gun. Yeah. Hey, Bert.

We appreciate it, brother. Thank you so much. We'll call you next month. We'll speak to you next month. Thank you for your service. Good kid. Good. Great.

Let's get in the last new one. Yep. Taylor Pepin. Taylor Pepin. Right. And then we'll try to call Lisa Johnson. Yeah. Yeah. Do Taylor Pepin and Lisa.

What do you say? He's slinging his Jack Johnson slinging his Jack Johnson. I mean, it's peace. Peace. Yeah. Nice. Because I think the Jack Johnson episode is a hit. It's a hit.

I think people like in Jack Johnson cause he was an interesting fucking kid Yeah and our Patreon just keeps moving up We just got another 30 bucks Yeah Taylor Pepp Make no mistake we're gonna have to renegotiate with some people We're gonna get cut Yeah

Hello It's going to get cut. Hello? Hey, Taylor Pepin. What's up? This is Chris DiStefano and Giannis Papas from the History Hyenas. How are you doing? You sound like a piece. Oh, my gosh.

Thank you. What are you doing? I'm just at work right now. Oh, yeah. Where do you work? Oh, my gosh. Thank you. I work in boston oh in boston so that's close enough do you want to be my date to yannis papas's wedding oh my gosh if they do i

don't think my boyfriend would like it but i would love to be okay so forget it yeah that would be great if fucking chris got beat up for asking you to the wedding yeah that's what he deserves i'm a dumb kid now taylor we just want to say thank you we want to call you we want to fucking get to know a little bit about you so make so let's let's start off with the question that's been on everybody's mind is your boyfriend we kidding we're just kidding but oh it's okay well that's fine oh there you go that was yannis farting into the mic um No, that was... Yeah. Let me ask you this.

Are you from Boston? Do you have a fucking accent? Well, I'm originally from Maine. Wow, even more north. I mean, can you get more white than Maine? No. Yeah. How old were you when you saw your first...

Caribou. How old were you when you saw your first person who wasn't white? I was pretty young. Yeah, okay. You know, I didn't meet my first Jewish person until I was 23 years old. Yeah. And he lives in New York City, which is... That's wild, right? Yeah.

That is a little wild. How long have you been dating your boyfriend? For five years. Oh, yeah. That's serious. You may be getting, you may be somebody's wife soon. You might be somebody's wife.

I don't think so. Does he listen? He's pretty young. Well, he better, he better fuck, oh, you guys are pretty young kids. How old are you?

23. Oh, yeah, you got time. You got time. Does he listen to our potty waddy as well or is it just you? It's just, well, my friend jackie and i

actually love it she actually introduced me to it so shout out to her shout out to jackie jackie jackie yeah that jackie what jackie just did was she she she impregnated another hyena and she spread it thank you jackie thank you for spreading the pseudo penises around i'm gonna be in boston in april so i hope you come see me the pseudo penises around. I'm going to be in Boston in April, so I hope you come see me. I'm going to be there at Laft Boston.

I'm going to be there at Laft Boston. Yeah. What do you do? What do you do, Jackie? I'm Taylor. Taylor. I'm Taylor. Sorry, Taylor.

My friend is Jackie. Taylor. I'm sorry, Taylor. I'm a civil engineer. Wow. Because we got some smart fucking kids. We just got off the phone with somebody else who was an engineer. We got smart people listening to us.

And that's weird because we're dumb fucking kids. We're dumb fucking kids. But you enjoying the podcast so far? What did you say? You're enjoying the podcast so far? Oh my gosh, I love it. I listen to it all the time. Chris, let's be honest. If you were going to put,

if you were going to think of the five most whitest names, is there any way Taylor's not on that list? The five most whitest names I can think of would be, I'll go girl, boy, girl, boy. I'll go girl. I'll go three girl names, two boys names. The whitest

names I can think of are Taylor, Samantha, and Jessica. And the whitest boy names I can think of would Taylor, Samantha, and Jessica. And the widest boy names I could think of would be Bradley and Adolph. Way some shit. Listen, Mrs. Pepin, thank you so much for being part of the matriarchy and being part of the cackle.

We really, truly, like, really, seriously, really, really, really thank you for your support. Honestly, thank you. your support honestly thank you you're welcome all right babe we're gonna call you every single month as long as you're paying $25 you're gonna be my boo boo baby thing and we're gonna call you every month okay bye

love you bye love you Taylor bye Taylor sounds like a I hope her boyfriend doesn't listen to the episode. Yeah. But we got some smart kids listening. We're going to call Lisa Johnson right now. I hope Lisa Johnson picks up.

I'm going to get horned up. The funny thing is Lisa Johnson is hilarious on. She's one of our funniest. I mean, really is. Did she write anything recently? She did. She did. She talks in our voice. Yeah.

People are really writing a lot on the Patreon page. Our Black Hit fans love to talk in our voice. Yeah, people are really writing a lot on the Patreon page. Our Black Hit fans love to talk in our voice. Yeah, they do. Yeah. Johnny D just posted a picture of you, Brooklyn Diocese names and priests who sexually abuse children. Hello? What happened to Lisa? She hung up.

Let's try calling. Let's try again. Yeah. She's probably nervous now because she's finally talking to Chrissy D. Here she goes. Lisa Johnson. She's probably nervous now because she's finally talking to Chrissy D. Here she goes. Lisa Johnson. She says, missed fucking call.

I'm so pissed that I missed the boys call. I was too busy fisting Clay Anthony and sticking a toy dinosaur up Chris the teacher's glue hole. Hello? Hey, Lisa. Yes. It's Chris DiStefano and Giannis Pappas from the Australian. You are my future wife. What's up, babe? Hey.

Oh, my gosh. Lisa. What's up, babe? Hey. Oh, my gosh. Lisa. What's going on? Lisa Johnson, let me just tell you. You are a fucking all-star. You are an all-star. You're probably one of our funniest members of the matriarchy. I mean, the shit that you write is just so 10 out of 10 funny,

and it doesn't hurt that you are a pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa- holy shit oh my gosh yeah the first thing i hear when you guys when i picked up was sexually abused children that's when you hung up yeah we were actually no color id second of all abused children yeah definitely gonna pick up yeah yeah we just uh we were actually just reading a post on the Patreon page from Johnny D. You'll see it. He posted a picture of Chris, and he says, Brooklyn diocese names eight priests who sexually abused children, and it's a picture of Steel Pipe Chrissy. You guys are hilarious on the Patreon page, especially you.

You're always saying funny stuff, and Chris wants to marry you now. Yeah. Where do you live, Lisa? What state? I live in Atlanta. Do you want to be my date to Giannis Pompous' wedding? Sure, why not? Let's go for it. Do you have a boyfriend?

I do have a fiance, but it is what it is. So you have a fiance, so that means in just a couple months, you're going to be somebody's wife. Hey, hashtag sister wife. There you go you heard what she said though she said yeah it is what it is though it's what it is lisa well it is what it is yeah if you have two extra seats for that wedding in atlanta yanni poppy and chrissy d want to come and be a part of that fucking beautiful day and we're not even joking with you. When you get married, invite

us. We will come down for the Patreon. Yeah. Of course. Absolutely. Hey, you got it. Yeah. Well, at least come to the church because make no mistake, a black wedding in Atlanta is a lot of fun, a lot of singing, a lot of dancing. That's going to be a fun time. It's a fun wedding.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Open bar might be a little some little gay stuff going on, but hey. Hey. It is. It is, right? Is your fiance, is he white, black, Chinese? What is he? No, he's black, but he's from New Jersey.

Oh, nice. Now, does he listen to the potty waddy, or is it just you? No, just me. I try to get him on it just you? No, just me. I try to get him on it for a little bit, but. It's a lot of gay shit in there. Maybe secretly. Yeah.

Yeah, because the thing is. Because Chrissy always talks about how he wants to blow guys in Houston. Yeah. And he probably, you know, I've mentioned your name about 100 times about how I just am in love with you. And he probably pissed off. And the last person you want to piss off is a black guy from New Jersey. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's-key with his jealousy so yeah baby i don't know now what do you do for work lisa i'm a marketing manager for a b2b company and we target like auto

dealerships and stuff like that so i have a serious job nice and are you from atlanta no i'm from california wow nobody nobody who lives very few people in atlanta are from atlanta atlanta has become one of those hot cities that people are moving to i love atlanta atlanta is a great city yeah oh yeah it's cheap as hell so it's like yeah i'm gonna go where my money can stretch the farthest right so do you want to move to atlanta i want to move to Atlanta? I want to move to Atlanta and I just want Lisa Johnson's marriage to crumble cuz I just want to, wow she even, she has a

cackle laugh. She does have a cackle laugh. Lisa you are, yeah you're just a 10 out of 10 and we just seriously want to thank you so much for being one of the most valuable members of the matriarchy and one of the leaders of the cackle. So you're a valuable $25 member.

We're going to call you each and every month. And I'm so fucking happy that we finally got to hear your voice because make no mistake, I dream about you. And there's been a couple of times where I've tugged my Jack Johnson to you. Well, just make sure you clean yourself up with witch hazel, right?

Yeah. Lisa Johnson, you're the best. Truly the best. She is a witty, witty I fucking love her. I think she's the president of the matriarchy right now. Rafael DeLuca might have to move over. Yeah. So thank you so much, Lisa. We really hope you have a great rest of the day and we really appreciate you talking to us.

No problem. Thanks for calling. Talk to you guys soon. Bye. Love you. Bye. God, Lisa Johnson is the best. Lisa Johnson. I fucking love Lisa Johnson. Yeah. Because I took a big swing with the Jack Johnson joke and she fucking, she put the cherry on top.

She did. Said clean it up with witch hazel. And she said I had to move the vegetables. She goes, Zach's genie, God, thank you for distracting your muzzy child with his alphabet cuck fingers instead of posting my number on the podcast. Extracting your muzzy child with his alphabet cuck fingers instead of posting my number on the podcast. I guess I should quit my job and be an IG thought. I mean blogger so I can be available all day.

Lisa Johnson, we fucking love you. ប្រូវាប់ប់ប្រូវាប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ Bye.