History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 70 - George is WILD!

Episode Date: May 19, 2019

The Hyenas talk about the inventor of Pap Smears! Kind of... He was a Greek tzenius named George Nicholas Papanicolaou. WILD!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

What's up, cuzzy wuzzies? You're listening to the Bay Ridgeenas i'm chris stefano aka christy the chancellor with me as always y Giannis Pappas, a.k.a. Yanni Women's Sweaters. Come on. Let's come up with a few more. Hit me. I'm not in the mood today. I'm just hot.

Because Lisa Johnson put on the Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys four photos of you and she said, which one of these photos look like Chris is done with the podcast? She said, trick question, all four. Because it's a hilarious thing to say. I'm just, you know what it is, because I'm just a fucking, maybe, I don't know what it is.

You take on too much Chrissy, but that's what makes you great. Yeah. Because if you really wanted to be here, you just look. Your flaws are what make you you. It's what it is. You were made weird with a pseudo tit for a reason. Yeah. You're here for the people's entertainment.

You're not here for any other reason except for people to enjoy. It's what it is. You make everyone happy. It's what it is. Except you. Except me. Cuz we got Mike Emoji emoji face we got zach isis um we just had that german girl in here who's a piece yeah yeah it's funny watching you switch a little bit like i like

to watch your personality switch a little bit you do a lot of code switching but you do it's called toot switching toot switching yeah when you're talking to guys you do one way and then another way when you're talking to girls just you do one way. And then another way, when you're talking to girls, just another something comes out of there. Yeah. What's up, babe? It's, you know what it is? It's a hunger because the kid needs a meal.

The kid needs a meal. Because that's what you coined it yesterday. You said that with me, with women, it's not, it's not about sex or anything. It's just, I need a meal. It's just, I'm hungry or I'm not hungry. You need a meal. But the truth is, I just a meal. It's just I'm hungry or I'm not hungry. You need a meal. But the truth is, I just haven't.

And it's like the thing is what I want, what I wish. I wish I cared about anything. I just wish because the bottom line is it's just whether I have a meal or not. The night ends with me sitting Indian style eating Teddy Graham. It's just I have my dark chocolate. I get a little dark chocolate oat milk and then and then i have some teddy grams in a bowl yeah and i just eat them and and i and i and i just try to i text my baby mama to see if she'll send me pictures of the baby yeah and that's what i just sit on my love sack i just don't care you just yeah we figured it out yesterday first of all me and you

we had a nice little man date yesterday the middle of the afternoon we had a few brews and a few chicken wings in the heart of bay ridge at salty dog and uh we had uh one of the middle of the afternoon we had a few brews and a few chicken wings in the heart of Bay Ridge at Salty Dog and we had one of the Bay Ridge patrons come over and tell us his life story and that's why we have to stop being so accessible on this fucking podcast. Yeah, that's what it is. Because everybody thinks we're friends and it's like, I don't know

any of you. Yeah, well. We don't know you guys. They think that you're friends with them because I just ignore it like Andre Iguodala. Yeah. Yeah. That's my nickname. Giannis Iggy.

Gianni Iggy. If you message me, you're not going to get a response. I just respond to everybody and I have to stop. Yeah. There was actually one kid who messaged you and said something real nice. I got a similar message, too, about how our podcast helps with his mental health or whatever. And you responded, I'm always here for you. And I said, in my mind, I'm going, Chris,

that's a nice thing to say, but like, don't set the kid's expectation too high. He's telling me he has a mental illness, and then I'm saying I'm always here for you. Yeah, because you're not always here for anyone except Delilah. The baby. Now listen, I want to give a message to those two people. One of them messaged me, one of them

messaged Chris. on a serious note. Stay flexible, man. Don't take anything too seriously. Everything ends. Everything's ephemeral. It's all going away. Don't get too down, man. And remember, when things are blue, when things are gray, they always come to an end.

It doesn't last forever. Don't freak out about freaking out. Don't get depressed about being depressed. That's just a natural ebb and flow. It's a natural emotional state that proceeds being happy. So don't set your expectation in life too high to try to be happy all the time. If we were happy all the time, me and Chris wouldn't have a job. We have a job because make no mistake, this life is full of pain. it's full of pain and it's just what it is go with the flow just go with the flow of shit and then also like something that i've realized too because i listen i had major anxiety major depression at at times if you want to be crystal clear oh cc chris don't just be

crystal clear and it's not i'm not talking but it's just like the truth is is the reasons why we have a lot of these problems yeah and i'm including myself in it is because you're just making everything about you and it's not about you that's a good one it's just what it is it's like once i got rid of the fact once i started to understand all this anxiety all this depression all this it's just all narcissistic qualities and it takes energy away from playing with the baby yeah i just started to realize like I'm actually not looking back. I'm not disgusted with myself. But now when somebody says to me, oh, you're a hypochondriac or you're having you want to give him a one, two, three. I'm going to give a one, two, three to the body and watch their pants fall down like not Tyson's punch.

I Tyson's punch out Bobby Kelly. Yeah, because and it's not and it's not like a visceral reaction. But it's like for some reason that made Much laugh really hard. Yeah. And when his face laughs like that, I think he's doing a racist Chinese emoji. Yeah, it's just what it is. Yeah, because make no mistake. One of our beloved followers, Clay Anthony, is going to drug you one day and crack you open and clean you out.

Yeah. I think your face look like that. Unfortunately, we got to do an RIP for Clay Anthony because he has demonetized himself from the patron. He deleted his pledges. He's yeah, he's not a member anymore. And I don't know what it is. I think a lot of people are upset because we haven't really got to the Patreon draft. I would be upset, too.

Listen, we're going to do the Patreon draft, but you have to understand there's a lot. Chris, he's a baby picker upper. He's got a lot of babies to pick up and I got a lot of dogs to walk. Yeah. So we're going to get to it. We're going to get to it when we get to it. It's just, yeah,

just right now. Yeah. I just got a lot of things on my plate and I'm just making more money elsewhere. So that's just what it is. I got to put my energy into that for now, but I have not forgotten about my non-tutes and Raphael DeLuca. As long as you can't make it because Raphael DeLuca,

I just want to let you know that your recent song you got another thing coming has made the greatest comedian of all time Bill Burr laugh yes it did we gotta let Rafael DeLuca know that he did yeah Bill Burr enjoyed that song he reached out to Giannis and said that that was the great song yeah Rafael he messaged me personally and he

out of nowhere I didn't ask about it he just said by the way yeah you got another thing coming he loved loved it. Chris, sometimes recently you've just been telling people how the cookie crumbles. Yeah. And that's what it is. If you're getting a little too depressed, it's maybe your childhood ego.

You're thinking it's too much about yourself and you're a little narcissistic. And that's just the way the cookie crumbles. Listen, I'm Chrissy Crumbles and I'm here to tell you how it crumbles. Oh, I'm Chrissy Cookies. And yeah, the thing is it's it's listen i understand everybody's got different goals and different family things and all that and there is there is a degree of course of mental health there is a degree of just chemicals in your head but you know it's a lot of times it's like you got to understand like i start and i'm just talking from personal experience with my anxiety and stuff like that i just started to think number one how much time and energy is

this taking away from the baby and from my career and number two how much time and energy is this taking away from other people like how many times am i going to reach out to friends and be like i'm nervous about this how many times am i going to call lukash and be like can this be cancer like just deal with it yeah right like if something is critically going wrong truly critical yeah then of course you reach out that's what friends are for but other than that it's like you can't you know i would find myself like just googling the next symptom i would now i don't have this symptom like even now i'll be honest with you i fucking raw dog somebody the other night i just fucking went raw dc okie doke yeah yeah yeah that's more of a cc

and less of a cookie crumble yeah yeah i just went that's more of a crystal clear yeah fucking raw dog somebody and i believe that she had an iud and i blew my whole load inside her it's just what it is so like there's just things now where it's like i would normally be paralyzed with fear and anxiety but now it's like if i'm gonna get chlamydia if i'm gonna get aids i'm gonna have another baby then you're gonna get it because you're fucking stupid fucking stupid and it's just what it is yeah me wasting energy asking everybody this and that it just doesn't make a difference yeah i i talked openly before you came here yeah uh i told zach and and and mush what happened that you want all his people to go back to where they came from yeah yeah i just told him honestly yeah i told him the truth i said mike i

want to get you in a slingshot get you right over that wall and zach i really just want to drop a bomb on you and your family make it to hummus i don't give a fuck okay the boys don't look like either one of you they look like me fucking chrissy crew cuts yeah so that's just what it is yeah this is a fucking this is a country enjoyed by whites come on zach come on zach come on i on. Zach, come on. I'm fucking kidding. Zach, come on. Zach, you gotta hit it.

He doesn't even have the button queued up. You gotta hit that immediately. Zach, I was just... Thank you. Holy shit. Give it to him. Give me another one. Jesus fucking Christ.

We need a tic-tac-toe of Wei Zhang Jing. I was just joking. Should we just play a game of tic-tac-toe of Wei Zhang Jing? It's like eight or nine. How many times... How many X's and O's go in a game of tic-tac-toe? Yeah, thank you. Give me the Cantonese pronunciation.tonese pronunciation is a little stronger it watches everything away yeah thank you so obviously i was just kidding about the last part but he wasn't kidding about the catapult and getting

mikey in that and pushing him over the wall i wasn't kidding about going raw deezy yeah but it's just what it is yeah guys um you just live with you make your decisions you fuck it fucking have you got to deal with it that's all I just didn't know that you had a magnifying glass today and I also didn't know that you had a handful of chips ahoy cookies because you are crumbling a lot of cookies and you're also being CC I'm being crystal clear I gotta

be because it's just why don't you put a raincoat on why don't you put a raincoat on it's what you know what I mean I got my raincoat because I'm saying when you're walking through munich oh yeah you know the forecast is calls for rain yeah and you don't know what's in that atmosphere no why don't you just put a raincoat on yeah i just put a raincoat on no why don't you put a raincoat on your dick i'm talking about a condom you fucking stupid fucking stupid i know i should have but um i'm just being stupid so

whatever it happened. But my point, I'm only bringing up to be like, you just got to deal with that shit. It's like shit happens. What do you want? Like, like all our peers. And I think I think it viscerally bothers me at times because we're surrounded by really beta whiny fucking guys. Holy shit. Just surrounded in comedy by these beta whiny fucking guys.

It's like, what do you want yeah life isn't perfect for everyone it's not gonna work the worst thing we did in this country is start giving trophies to seventh place yeah your kid needs to quit that sport he ain't good enough yeah and he or she or they or whatever the fuck you want to be called yeah it's just what it is gonna have to happen yeah okay And stop being extreme with everybody all the time. It's like, it's where gray zone people. Okay.

Listen, there's times where I'm going to use a plastic straw. That doesn't mean I hate the environment and drop a racial epithet. It's going to happen. It doesn't mean I'm racist. It just means maybe I had one more vodka soda. It might mean you just stubbed your toe and you had to get one out. I had to get one out.

But the truth is my door is always open to any race, culture and creed as long as they don't read the quran yeah come on fucking kidding cuz i'm just kidding but but the fuck but the point that i'm truly trying to say is like you gotta and again mental health is a real thing i suffer from it that's right my furor oh yeah i suffer from it but I'm just saying it helps me to just know that shit ain't all about me. Right. And we're all going to die anyway. Yeah. So you're not going to speed up that process. Might as well speed it up and go raw daddy. Yeah.

Wow. Cause I don't know if we've ever got all three Chrissy's within three minutes. Wow. Wow. That was the holy Trinity. We got a Chrissy crumbles. Yeah. We got a steel pipe Crumbles Yeah We got a Steel Pipe Chrissy And we got a Crystal Clear Chrissy All in three minutes

Yeah And all that What does that equal? Chrissy Chlamydia I got a drip But it's nothing new You're an experience You've had a

You've had a You've had a You've had to call a plumber For a drippy faucet before It's just what it is I call Lukasz And he sends it to the meds And we're good to go

No I don't have an STD No I'm just My point is like The old measz and he sends it to the meds and we're good to go. No, I don't have an STD. No, I'm just, my point is like, the old me would just fucking sit here and just be worried about this and that. It's like, what are you going to do? It happened. You did it already. You made the choice. Let's be honest. Can I talk to you for a second? Let's be honest. Can I be long day Yanni for you for a second?

Yeah. Okay. Your dick is a Vietnam veteran. Yeah. It's what it is. It's just what it is. Your dick is an 80, what are they now? 72 year old man. Yeah. It's what it is. It's just what it is. Your dick is an 80, what are they now? 72-year-old man. Yeah. Vietnam veteran. Yeah.

Walking around with a baseball hat that says, Nom Hero Sergeant something on it with three stars. Yeah. And he walks into a place. Yeah. All right? Yeah. And he meets his grandson at an Applebee's.

And his grandson has a crystal meth problem. Yeah. And his grandfather's a non-veteran and he's his grandson at an Apple and his grandson has a crystal meth problem and his grandfather's a NOM veteran and he's upset with him he says listen when I was in NOM I had to use my bare hands to kill Chinaman to kill Charlie I couldn't see Charlie in front

of me okay because I needed to use a machete to open up the fucking grass that was in front of me, okay? Because I needed to use a machete to open up the fucking grass that was in front of my eyes. I've been fucking shot four times by four Chinamen and I'm still standing here. I've had bigger problems than you.

You're my grandson. You're lucky to live into the freedom that I bought for you with my fucking body and nom. Yeah. Basically what I'm saying is your dick's been around the block and been through a few wars.

Yeah. And it's an experienced kid. It's not going to be scared of a little drip. It's yeah. Because unlike your father, my dick doesn't forget that it fought in a war. Cause your, your dick.

It's seen a few drips here and there. It's just what it is. Yeah. You're not going to get nervous and you're going to know exactly. You're not going to have to ask Lukaszash what it is because you're just gonna take it like this with your fingers feel it like that and say oh yeah i remember 2007 it's just what it is yeah give me the penicillin and i'll be back in the saddle i'll be back in the saddle and it's just what it is and that's okay and then cuz yeah so my point is it's like yeah things are gonna

happen to you it's okay if you lose anybody who's successful loses more than they win yeah it's just what it is it's like we're living in this time now it's like you're trying to make the world palatable for everyone it's not yeah it's just not also i think the two things i mean that was really crystal clear but i'm just gonna throw a little empathy uh whipped cream on that a fucking crystal clear sundae yeah a little empathy little empathy. A little empathy eclair. Yeah, a little empathy eclair on top of that. So we're going to get some salmon by the way. We're going to also drink waters. Yeah, I got to get water. And some salmon, yeah.

Yeah, I want to get some. Can you pass me water? Yeah, you want another water? Yeah, shout out Switown Water Department as we say all day, every day. Shout out Switown Water Department. Shout out Reading, Pennsylvania Reuter Department. Yeah, and you know what? We just want, we want the boys out there to know that we recognize the good work you're doing.

Yeah, we recognize what you guys are doing. Yeah, so what are we going to say? You got a little empathy, eh, Clay? You're trying to get the water because you got about three or four good years left before your brain starts to deteriorate into Alzheimer's disease. Because the hair on Zach's arms goes all the way up to his shoulders.

Yeah. I can't look in Zach's direction if I the way up to his shoulders. Yeah. I can't look in Zach's direction if I have food near me. Because he looks like he's a werewolf who just got leprosy. Yeah. Zach, and he's jacked today or is he not jacked today? I can't see. No, he's not jacked. Yeah.

What are you doing, Zach? Are you eating once a day still? No. I mean, I've been off it a little. I'm going to get back, though. I'm going to get back that jihadi with a body physique. Yeah, fucking jihadi. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Okay, go ahead. What were you going to say with the empathy? Hey, Claire, sorry. And then I have to pee. Okay. Yeah, because I have an STD. The snot just came out of my nose.

Does anyone have a napkin? I was drinking water and he got me. I'm just going wild for that. I don't care. Yeah, I need a napkin because I was drinking water. Yeah got me. I'm just going wild today. I don't care. Yeah, I need a napkin because I was drinking water. Yeah, you were drinking some water? Yeah. And your water came out of your nose? No, boogers came out of my nose because I had water

in my mouth, so I just pushed when I laughed. Come on, give me the A-clamp because take a sip of water. I got to pee. I got an STD. Yeah, look, here's the deal. Here's what it is. You're just going to live the way you're going to live, Chris. It here's what it is you're just gonna live the way you're gonna live chris it's just what it is yeah you it's just gonna go down the cookie's gonna crumble the way it's gonna crumble yeah and you're here for a you're here for a good time yeah you're definitely not here for a long time yeah it's just a good time yeah because you know what you throw hands every day and you've dropped 20 pounds, but you've also gained about four

raw dogs and possible STDs. It's just what it is. And a couple of more babies. It's just the math of Chrissy D. Yeah. It's cookie crumble Chrissy. Yeah. That's the way it crumbles.

Yeah. So the empathy for Sunday I was going to put on that is I think the two things to really consider that Chrissy said that are important is like, it's not all about you. And that's a good thing. Take the pressure off. You know, it's not about you. And if you're, if you're obsessing and you're anxious, you're probably, you're probably self-obsessing too much. You're thinking about yourself too much. If you want to feel better, go think about someone else. Go help someone else. Think about something else. It's not all about you. And the other thing is like, look, don't take everything too seriously because everything ends.

So even if you fail, don't be scared to fail. Don't get too arrogant if you succeed, because at the end of the day, nothing really, really matters. All your money that you have or don't have, you're not taking any with you in that coffin. Exactly. So don't worry about it. Just keep going, man, because it's just like you know and i get it and it's like more and more now i think we have these mental health problems pop up because of how isolated we are into our phones and all that it's like start talking to people start listening to people because it's like anything that you think you're going through

like for example i'll give you a perfect example okay yesterday i said uh i mean uh last night i blew uh i blew out a candle and then and then wax and some ash from the candle went into my actual eye yeah so i initially could have had a panic attack yeah with oh my god my eye's gonna burn i'm gonna go vision loss and my eye still is irritated right now right but i just said whatever i cleaned it out i cleaned out the eye i googled what to do in that situation so you can clean out the the eye. And then in three to five days, if it's an infect, if it becomes effect, you just get eye cream. That's what it is. Whereas a year ago, I would have been up all night. I would have went right to the emergency room. It would have just been a whole thing. And then, so I just handled it the right way. It's like, you just have to

deal with it. You got ash in your eye. It happens. I cleaned it out and it hurts a little bit. Of course it's going to hurt. But then today I was throwing hands with Sergio and Sergio was like, oh, your eye looks a little irritated. And I told him what happened with a candle. And he goes, yeah, it goes one time when he was putting up, when he was working in a construction job, he got actual burning hot iron in his eye, like liquid iron went into his eye and he washed it out and his eye is fine. It just, so it's like a candle ash in your eye is not going to make you blind. If burning hot iron didn't make him blind and he's fine. He's like, you just deal with the pain.

I mean, I know he's Puerto Rican and they handle things differently. Coconut cookies fix that. Coconut cookies fix it in some mofongo. Yeah. But still, the point is, is like you just if you go out there and just talk to someone about your problems or just you're going to find out that like what you're ever you're going through. Someone else goes to went through that, too. Probably worse. How close did you get to that candle to blow it out?

What happened was, was the perfect storm. I had the window open. Yeah. And the candle was right by the window was in my bathroom. And I blew the way I blew the candle and the wind gusts came. So as I was blowing the candle out, it just hit me right. It was just like a perfect storm of things. Now you had, why did you light a candle?

You shitting? I had, no, I had a toot. So you're taking shit and you didn't want the toot to smell it. Yeah. So you shit with the toot in your house? Yeah, because I got a little thing. What I do is, because what's a foolproof way of taking the shit smell out is if you take a shit and then you light a candle and then you immediately blow out the candle then um the smell of a burnt candle just over overpowers the shit smell yeah and so what i did so let's

just let's just set the scene here okay so we may have to cackle it's out again yeah we may just have to start cackling you know but so you're hanging out with a toot. I'm hanging out with a toot. You guys probably had a little food or whatever, right? Yeah, I went raw dog. So you got, would you get a rumble in the stomach or you just felt like you had, you pressured, you had shit that you couldn't hold it? No, yeah. Did you already bang out or no?

Well, no, the thing is, the thing is. Did you shit before with a dirty ass? No, no, no, no. What happened was, is it was, it was mother's day. So, so my mother, the thing is. Did you shit before with a dirty ass? No, no, no, no. What happened was, is it was Mother's Day. So, so my mother, my mother and I, my mother had lasagna for me and I ate the lasagna. And then I, you know, what happened was, because I was on the road with Sal Vulcano. Shout out Sal Vulcano. Shout out his feet.

Cuz, did you give a toot some of your mom's lasagna? No, I didn't do that. I would never disrespect my mother like that. Okay. So, so, so what happened was, is normally i take my you know because normally what i do is in the morning what i'll do every morning i i drink no no here's my routine i i get up i drink a cup of of cold water yeah and then i have a banana to coat the stomach because what's going to happen next is 14 vitamins well yeah it's it's my oregano pill it's my vitamin d it's

shout out to paul gassy shout out paul gassy it's my probiotic it's my omega-3 yeah and then it's my shot of apple cider vinegar and then and then it's also and then you do this with your hands a few times yeah yeah and then i check my blood pressure on both arms three times yeah and then and then i neti pot so that whole routine yeah that i normally do at eight o'clock in the morning you're gonna have to add penicillin too yeah i had to do it at 6 p.m my foot of toot came over yeah so what happened is is is i as i put all those medicines i put all those pills in me, and I hadn't eaten that much. And then I had a little rumble in the Bronx.

So you fainted and had to take an oregano pill? I fainted and had to take an oregano pill. And shot a bullet gas. Yeah, shot a bullet gas. His mother called the cops. Half price tickle me elbows. It's just what it is. So I did that.

And then I just got a little rumble in the Bronx. And then I felt shit brewing. Yeah. And then I just felt one brewing. So you didn't bang out yet no no we had already banged out okay so you had a clean ass when you banged out clean out was cleaned out clean ass when I banged out did you clean your ass with witch hazel because you had a toot over you just use no just straight fucking toilet paper no what I do is I take a shower and then I put baby powder in my pants and I put it all over my balls and like right by my ass you took a shower while the toot was in the house no. Right before she came over.

Yeah, but then you shit. How did you clean your ass? Did you just do what? Just straight toilet paper? A little water? Oh, you mean after? Did you use water? No, I didn't use water. I used a Continental wet wipe. Because they're soft on the ass. Are they flushable? Yeah, they're flushable. Well, I don't know if they're flushable, but I certainly flushed them. So let me ask you

a question. I got to take a shit and a piss. I got an STD. So the two was in the living room while you shit in there. Did you go extra fast so she didn't know it was a shit or you didn't care? No, I didn't care. I courtesy flushed it and then I lit the candle and blew it out and then my eyes lit on fire. Because, I mean, it just turned into an adventure over there. Yeah, it was a fun time.

So then you came out, you just came out and the place smelled like potpourri and a candle. You just came out screaming, ow, ow, ow, holding your eye like a pirate. Yeah, I came out and I asked if she had any eye wash and she was like, what are you talking about? And then I just washed my eye out and then she told me it was going to be OK. But silver lining is at that point you had a good excuse to get the dude out. Right. Because you just said, I got I got to go to the hospital because of my eye and also babies are getting picked up and so you got to go. I got to go. Yeah, it's what it was. So, yeah. Do we need

to tackle anything? Probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll leave it untackled for the Patreon. Yeah, but it's fiction. The thing about Chris is that when he tells you stories about his life, he's making it up. Yeah, and if you're a woman out there listening, you're like, well, that sounds a lot like my experience. wasn't it just wasn't i'm just taking you know i

just mix up a lot of things you know but it's just what it is listen i'm gonna go pee in a cup tomorrow and we'll see what they say mike i'm gonna crack you open and clean you out because it would be worth it to clean him out just to watch the emoji change expression. Just to watch his face get cracked up. Clay Anthony, that was the best one. It was the best one. RIP Clay Anthony. We hope you get you back. At least he's listening to the fucking free

episode still. Yeah, it's what it is. I know a lot of them got mad that we didn't continue the Patreon draft. We are going to do it. We're absolutely going to do it. And as always, we are brought to you by 9th Street Auto Collision. They're located at 133 West Hills Road in Huntington Station, New York. Give them a call at 631-515.

I'm sorry, 631-351-5300. That's 631-351-3000 or whatever. Yeah, you just got it. You got it. They're a family business, Chris. Yeah. And they've been doing it for over 20 years. You remember they do body work.

They do everything. And they give everyone a little slice off the top. So they'll crack open your car and clean them out. Go out there if you live on the island to 9th Street Auto Collision. Yeah, $5 off for use promo code Trump 2020. Yeah. So, and also, as always, we're brought to you. Come on.

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Because we can't just keep reading ads. We should just get them the fuck over with. Yeah, we're just. Yeah, you had a good idea. Why don't you take a piss and I'll just read it. Well, but then I just feel like it's boring. Yeah, I get it. Okay, let me take a quick shit.

It's not boring. I mean, we're reading around. We got listeners listening. What do you think, Mike? I thought you said we're supposed to do 20 minutes. Well, if you're going to take a shit, go do a shit. Okay. Are you actually going to take a full shit?

No, but it's going to be a quick shit. Okay. Just don't blow out any candles. You need both eyes. All right. We're also brought to you by, Hey guys, nutrition made fun is here to help you.

How about that? This is for the toots and non toots drop pounds and take control of your eating guys. Okay. Together with nutrition made fun. You can dial in a series of sustainable eating habits that work for you so you don't have to worry about calories, rules, or restricted foods again.

Lose weight for good. Eat what you want and stay sane in the process with some common sense habits. That's what they help you with, guys. Coach Matt is a certified nutrition coach and a wild dude who would rather support us, history hyenas, than figure out traditional marketing. I like this kid.

This kid is, a lot of these kids are telling us, you know what, their marketing budget's going to be supporting hyenas, and we're supporting you right back. So hit up Coach Mike. And what's he saying? Next enrollment opens July 15th. Here it is. So guys, go over to their Instagram.

It's Nutrition Made Fun. All one word, Nutrition Made Fun on the gram and sign up for their enrollment, which starts July 15th. This kid is going to help you get in shape. Listen, we live in America. It's too hard to fucking diet on your own. You need a coach.

This is the guy for you. Coach Matt. He's a certified nutrition coach. That means this kid knows what he's talking about. Go check him out on the gram. That's where you can find him. Nutrition Made Fun on the gram. Check him out. That's. That's where you can find him. Nutrition made fun on the gram. So check him out.

So that's cool, right? Yeah. We have CBD script. That's right. CBD script is a premium CBD company owned and manufactured by silver laboratories. All their products are a hundred percent real and full spectrum. I have no idea what that means, but apparently they got autism.

They are all a hundred% THC free. Sorry, it's no fun, guys. You're not going to get high, but it works great. They got topicals, tinctures, cape carts, gummies and edibles, water and additives. Everything is manufactured out on the island, Long Island, New York. CBD is good for anxiety. You can ask Chrissy about that. He takes CBD oil.

Depression, arthritis, back pain, epilepsy, autism, and nicotine withdrawal. And just general well-being. I mean, you know, you can just recreational, you know, pour some on your fucking pancakes. So they use CO2 organic CBD, no hexane, no heptane, no butane, no other toxic solvents. You know what that means, guys? No fucking fumes. So go over, check them out, use promo code HIJENenas15. That's one word, hyenas15 to get 15% off your total order of

whatever CBD you want to get. So CBD script, check them out. Did we get everybody there? That's all of them. Yeah. We did the other guy on the last one. We got to do him again though. Oh, Vadura? Yeah. Okay, let's do Vadura. Oh yeah, let's do him. Vadura's our guy.

Man, we just followed him on Instagram, too. So you can see we posted a picture on our Instagram, at History Hyenas. He did not look what I thought he would look like. Dude, he looks wild. He looks crazy awesome. He looks like a 70s rock star. Vedura Rajapaska is a Sri Lankan comic based in Berlin. He hosts the Anything Goes podcast, which is pretty much just sitting down and talking

shit about comedy, culture, and current events with different artists around the city. based in Berlin. He hosts the Anything Goes podcast, which is pretty much just sitting down and talking shit about comedy, culture, and current events with different artists around the city. You can find all his dates, podcasts, episodes, and social media stuff on live from the sandbox.com live from the sandbox.com and he

can also be found at Vidora that's V-I-D-U-R-A-R-A-J-A-P-A-K-S-A. Vidura Rajpaka. All one word on all social media. And he's got some dates coming up. So go follow him. Check him out.

He's going to be opening for Chrissy at the Soho Theater. Chrissy's in England, in London. The whole theater when Chris is in England, in London. And also you could see on our Instagram, we posted a pic to him so you can go follow him. He's our boy. Hope your career is going good out there in Berlin. We just had, what was her name again? Amisa.

Yeah. She's a famous German comic apparently now. And we just had her on the show Raj Pasca so you know we're getting to know the whole German scene from Raj Pasca all the way up to Anissa Anissa Anissa

yeah I took a quick shit I take quick shits here's what it is here's what we've discovered the other day about you yeah you just need a meal like the way the vampire needs to just get blood yeah Here's what it is. Here's what we've discovered the other day about you. Yeah. You just need a meal. Like the way the vampire needs to just get blood. Yeah. You,

when you look at a woman, the woman could look like anything. It's not really important. The important thing is you need a meal. I need a meal. I'm a hungry kid. You're a hungry kid. So, you know,

that's why, you know, women, all shapes and sizes. It's just, Chris loves women. You love women because you're, you need a chris loves women you love women because you're you need a meal yeah i love women um i love women and uh and it's just what it is you know but i am

if i'm good i'm gonna say something publicly right now um not that i'm gay you guys already knew that only in houston i am at a point in my life though though, where I would like to settle down. I would like to find one woman. I just feel like at the you know, I've been single now. It's like I just don't want to keep, you know, because when I'm single, it's hard. It's it's it's hard to not respond to the DMs. It's hard to not, you know, want to crack girls open and clean them out on the road. It's just hard not to do that.

So I feel like I'm finally at a point in my life. I mean, I'm about to I'm going to be 35 in a couple of months where I'm like at 25, I would never be able to do it. I just like I'm going to I'm going to get a girlfriend and still want to cheat and crack open. But now it's just like I just don't want to deal. I just want to I don't like just just being alone anymore you know what I mean I used to be like oh I could just be single forever because I love my kid and all that stuff is still true but something in me now is like I just want to I would like to have a girlfriend yeah you know like I'm not gonna force it have a boyfriend yeah I would like to have a boyfriend yeah whatever

Mike are you single yeah I'm divorced oh yeah. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah. Mike's a good conversation, right? Yeah, Mike is a good conversation. I would sit in Mike's lap. It's comfortable there. How many girlfriends have you had in your life? Like full girlfriends that met my mother? Yeah.

Yeah, that's really when a girlfriend's- How many that meet my mother? If they don't meet your mother, they're not really a girlfriend. Let's see who's met my mother. Yeah. We got one. We got two. Yeah.

Three. Four. Six girlfriends that have met my mother since I'm 17. Since you're 17? We got one. We got two. Yeah. Three. Four. Five. Six girlfriends that I've met my mother since I'm 17. Since you're 17? So I'm 17 years. In 17 years, six I met my mother. Yeah.

Yeah. And the last one met your mother as well. The last one. The last one. Yeah. My baby mother met my mother. Yeah. She's met your mother a few times.

Yeah. My baby mother's met my mother a few times. She's also been asked to leave a few times. Yeah, my baby mother's met my mother a few times. She's also been asked to leave a few times. I'm sorry. That was my fault. I set it up. It's just funny because if you're going to throw them up, I'm going to dunk them. If you don't want to throw the alley-oops, because I'm always going to try to dunk them, even if it costs

me my family. So you can't throw them up there because I'm just designed to dunk it. I know. And I'm always morally torn. And you're designed to throw them up there. Make no mistake, we play volleyball here, and I'm a setter. You're a setter. I go like this, and I go, here you go, Chris.

Ruin the rest of your life. And I'm going to just spike it. So you've got to just because i i don't realize until i see people's faces until i still see people putting their heads down and i'm like oh shit yeah because i genuinely anybody by the way who's by the way go to patreon.com slash bay ridge boys for more wildness anybody who's ever messaged me on the patreon or a friend of mine or that have been like i can't believe what you said in the last podcast just Just know truly. Yeah. I don't remember anything I do on this podcast. Chrissy blackouts,

true Chrissy blackouts. When I leave, I don't remember. There's been topics that you've called me, but like, we should do an episode about that. You're like, we've done an episode about that.

And I genuinely hand to God do not remember. So I don't know what that is. Um, it's you, you live, you live in the moment and I don't think you have enough room in your brain to remember it. Let's be honest.

You got physical therapy in there, in this part. You got Filipino boys over here. You got... Basketball? I'm getting in your brain right now. And what's in there. So let's see what we can have room for. Physical therapy? Let's see what we have room for. We're going to play a little game called What's in Chrissy's Head? what's in Chrissy's head.

That's a Chrissy's ring. And what can we get in there? Yeah. Okay. Because make no mistake, your brain is full like an American and an all inclusive in Cancun. You've, you've,

you're full. Yeah. So if we can make a little room, we'll try, but let's see what's in there. Okay. First we got comedy. Yeah.

Right. Then we got throwing hands. Yeah. Right. Then we got, what's the baby up to? And when can I FaceTime the baby? And well,

my baby's mama allowed me to FaceTime the baby because she's currently mad at me for something. Yeah. So you have that. I have that. Then you got the financial situation and what you got to do and all the expenses. That's number four.

Yeah. Then I also got my baby's mama's trip to bank. I got to take her to Banco Popular. You got to take her to the check cashing place. You got, you got to take, you got to take your baby's mama-in- cashing place. You got to take your baby's mom-in-law. Yeah, I got to take my baby's mom-in-law. Mama's mom-in-law to cash a check.

And you got to plan a wedding. Cash a check. I got to plan the wedding. I got to. Yeah, I got to. Then you got to teach your step-something. Step-brother of your. Half-brother of your daughter.

Yeah. You got to take him to watercolor class. You got to take him to watercolor class. I got to take him to watercolor class, and I got to make sure that I have enough room in my show so his father can open for me. So you got to do that as well. I got to do that. Right. Right.

And then you got to figure out how to get your mother to Bay Ridge in an Uber. In an Uber. Because your baby's mom has got to work. Yeah. And then I also got to figure out how to hide money so my father doesn't gamble it. You got to figure that out. You also got to figure out how to build another shed back there. I always got to. So there's a lot of stuff in the head. We're not finished.

We're not finished. I got to do my laundry. I got to get quarters to do my laundry. My machine only accepts quarters. Yeah, you always got to figure out ways to get quarters. You got to figure out a way to throw his hands, pick up the babies. You're Googling guys without their shirt on. Yeah, you always got to figure out ways to get quarters. You got to figure out a way to throw his hands, pick up the babies. You're Googling guys without their shirt on. Yeah. I always got to find out whenever I go to see that.

I got to find out where the nearest Planned Parenthood is in case I got an STD test. Yeah, that as well. And also because you're a street performer that juggles toots. Yeah, I juggle toots. And I got to do comedy. Because your life is just like a street performer on the streets of Madrid. Yeah. You know when you walk past a guy who's standing stiff like a statue.

Yeah. And then there's another guy juggling. You're that guy juggling. But you know what you're juggling? Toots. Toots. Yeah. They're just in the air and they're flipping.

Yeah. And you're juggling a lot of toots. Yeah. So where are you going to put that in your head? Where are you going to put what you said on this podcast in your head? There's no room for you. Chrissy Fulbright. I'm Chrissy Fulbright. Yeah. Yeah. I'm CF you. Chrissy Fulbright. I'm Chrissy Fulbright.

Yeah, you got it. I'm CFP, Chrissy Fulbright. There's too much going on. And plus, you probably got to be at the Fat Black to work out an hour that you have to have a new special in 13 minutes. Yeah, I got to have a new special in 13 minutes. Yeah. So I got that.

Yeah. So there's really no room for it. There's no room for you to remember what you said here. Yeah. So that's why you learned as a young child how to black out trauma and make no mistake, the things that you say on here are so wild,

it's a little traumatic for people who are listening. A little traumatic. So you block it out. So with all that stuff that you just said, because all that's 100% true and that's just a regular,

oh, and also got to leave room to pay parking tickets. That as well, yeah. I'm always getting parking tickets. But if you don't think that a guy's schedule like that doesn't once in a while like to enjoy a nice ice cream cone

at the end of the day, you got another thing coming. Well, if you don't think You need an ice cream cone. You't once in a while like to enjoy a nice ice cream cone at the end of the day, got another thing coming. Well, if you need an ice cream cone, you got to watch a day like that with an ice cream cone. Yeah. If you don't think if you think for one second that me and Chrissy went and had a couple beers, a couple burgers and a couple chicken wings and then didn't walk outside right next door to Carvel and get a nice soft serve. You got another thing coming. Yeah. And yeah, just and yeah. Soft serve. You got another thing coming.

Yeah. And yeah, just and yeah. And shout out. Shout out to the Carvel on. Shout out to the Carvel on Third Avenue next to the Salty Dog. Because, you know, it's a little sandy in there. But there's but. But you worked around it by going into the freezer and getting a prepackaged. Getting a prepackaged.

That's what you got to do. But there were no sandstones in Yanni's soft serve. So I appreciate that. No, mine was pretty good. Yeah, it's safe. But yeah, usually. That's a little bit of a sand. That's a little bit of a beachy corner over there. Can we just get some Weijiax Jinx please to clear the air? Yeah pretty good. Yeah, it's safe. But yeah, usually... That's a little bit of a beachy corner.

Can we just get some Weishang Shings, please? It's a clear to hear. Yeah. It's not even on the button. Nobody can hear that, Zach. Nobody can hear that. Weishang Shings. It's just what it is. If things are going to happen,

they're going to happen. Just deal with it. But yeah, so yeah, I got a lot of i got you know i'm i'm chris oh and now also now also my eye burnt out so i got yeah i gotta keep room i got i'm doing all this with just one eye here's the thing if you want to know an outside perspective hanging out with you it's just you're you're preoccupied kid me and sergio were talking about this yeah when you're around you you just know you're about 10 to 30 percent paying attention at the moment. You're not in the moment.

You've got your job. You're Chrissy Street Performer. Yeah. That's the new one. You're Chrissy Juggles. Chrissy Juggles. You've got a hundred things in the air at once. And you just you're not present.

Yeah. You take on too much Chris. And that's what. But and that's why struggling to stay in the present, because if you're in the present, you decrease the anxiety. Yeah. And that's why my pressure is high. Yeah. Your pressure is high because you're not really to stay in the present. Because if you're in the present, you decrease the anxiety. Yeah. And that's why my pressure is high. Yeah, your pressure is high because you're not really ever really in the moment.

But the funny thing is you do it to yourself. Yeah. It's not like you got a lot going on that's not a choice that you made. Yeah. You kind of throw yourself into the fire. Yeah. Yeah, you're a juggler. You're a street performer.

I'm a street performer. You're also a can collector. Yeah, I'm a can collector. I like to dig in the trash. You like to dig in the trash, cuz, but we got an interesting episode today. You want to talk about pap smears? I want to talk about pap smears. What do you know about pap smears? Because you're a physical therapist and you have

a lot of friends. Chrissy, I can't make it tomorrow. Can you come? I'm a snubbing turtle. I want to come to work today, but money fuck you, I'll fuck it. What do you know about pap smears? What I know about pap smears is I know it's it's it's the golden standard test

for cervical cancer to test see if you have any cancer cells in the uterine lining of girls vaginas which I wish I had I do tuck it back from time to time and just play pretend but it's not the same so pap smears are they save lives they do and

women out there should be getting at least one pap a year. Yeah, it's amazing, dude. It's amazing that, you know, I talked to you earlier before. I think we want to start covering some of these guys that kind of get overlooked. You know, when you, the Jonas Salk, those guys, what's his name? Jonas Salk? Jonas Salk polio vaccine. Yeah.

I mean, like these guys like have had more influence in the world than like, you know, a Kardashian, but nobody knows who they are. Nobody cares. Yeah. Nobody cares. I mean, I mean,

so we're going to talk about a guy named George Papa Nicolo. Yeah. You can guess what he is. Greek. Yeah. He's a Greek. Yorgos Papa Nicolo. He is the guy fucking fascinating cat who,

uh, invented the pap smear and he, he invented the guy, fucking fascinating cat, who invented the pap smear. And he invented it. The first pap smear he gave was on a guinea pig. Yeah. Is that where that came from? Guinea pig? Or did they just use guinea pigs to figure shit out?

They just used guinea pigs. Yeah. Yeah, so he looked inside a guinea pig's puss. He looked inside a guinea pig's puss, and he found out, like, yeah, if you get a smear, if you get a smear if you get a schmear you can see you can you can put the schmear under the microscope and uh microscope and you can see that if there's so many abnormal cells there and girls should you be getting regular pap smears from the age of 21 or 25 i've heard different things but they should be getting them like every couple

years but why not get it every year it saves lives because you got to catch it early. Yeah. I don't know the reasoning. I would think it's because doctors have figured out the growth rate of some of those cells. I'd imagine it's got to come down to that. But yeah, it's... But pap smear is such a normal part of a woman's life now. You have to get it. It's hard to imagine there was a time that there was just no pap smears. It's named after him, by the way. Like most Greek names, they just took the beginning of it because they weren't going to call it a Papa Nikolaus smear. No. That would be too much. Just call it a pap.

Yeah, just call it a pap right there. Just call it a pap and get it over with. Yeah, because he was a Greek kid that was born in Greece and then studied in Germany. Really? So, yeah, that's where you go. It's a very known thing that in the United States, we have good universities, but also in Germany,

they have very strong universities. So if you're smart from another country, you go to Germany to study. So that's where he went to Germany. But he also studied before that at the University of Athens. So he is a Greek kid. He's a Greek kid. And yeah,

the past, do you want to go to Greece with me? I'd like to go to Greece with you. Maybe on your honeymoon. You want to come along with me? Yeah, because I out of steam so we're at 43 minutes guys you're just gonna have to carry this a little bit because i'm just out of steam i just went crazy hard on the german girl in the beginning of this thing and i'm just out of steam so you want to just read some patreon members out yeah let's do it well anyway yeah just go google him he's a good kid let me just read these Patreon members real quick. You got $5

pledged by Bill Hughes Jr. Thank you, Billy. Wasp. Yeah, three-name Wasp. Besides Nick Van Exel, which was one of the funniest things you ever said. Yeah. Zandy Frith. Zandy? Yeah, I don't know. Scandy? Scandy Frith. Sandy? Sandy. James Pearson.

Then we have $10 pledged by CC. Matt Hamilton Because what if that CC's the bath? Yeah $5 pledge by Leroy Black Which is a name he made up It's hilarious Coffee Leroy

Nicholson Lawrence is another kid's name Yeah Femi is another kid's name Yeah Fresh Young Dude $25 by Fresh Young Dude You're going to get cracked open And we're going to get a call

Yeah Claire Christina Papadoulos Ticanis $25 by Fresh Young, dude. You're going to get cracked open. And we're going to get a call. Yeah. Claire. Christina Papadoulos. Ticanis. $5 went up to $10. Patty Sweeney. What's up, Patty Sweeney?

Eleanor D. Eleanor D. Christie. Wife. Lee Caneel. I don't know what that is. Justin Tansky. Justin Tansky. Long Island Sauce, Chrissy.

This other kid's name is fumes. What's up, fumes? Some fumes. The kid's name is Evan. Evan. Then $25 member, Nick Havaria. Wow. Then we got James D.

Finnelli. What's up, James D. Finnelli. And then Lauren Haley. Lauren Haley. Hi, Lauren. That's what it is. Those are the new members of the patron.

Thank you so much for your service. Also, we got T-shirts available now. Everyone should know that. T-shirts available. Where can we get the t-shirts? Cuz, what's the link there for the On The Volley link for the No Fumes shirt? Where we got there, Zach? You go to onthevolleyapparel.com and there's a new No Fumes shirt up with Chris's feet and yoga socks.

Yeah. So you go to onthevolley.com. Where else is an easy way to get them? You can get them off our YouTube, right Mike? That's for the other ones. No, that's the other one. If you want other shirts, we will put the... Why are you talking like that? It's the wrong emoji.

We will have the link on the YouTube page as well and on the Instagram. So it's onthevolley.com slash history dash hyenas, right? onthevolleyapparel.com onthevolley.com slash history-hyenas, right? Onthevolleyapparel.com. On the Volley. And then the other one. Go to collections on there.

That's the fastest way to find us on their page. Okay. And also just follow our link. We posted it. Go to our Instagram. Go wherever. Swipe up. Ask me and Chrissy.

DM us. And then we got another link with shirts. And what's this one? That's off our Teespring. Teespring.com slash history-hyenas. It's our store slash historyhainas. That is what it is, and it's the Historyhainas t-shirt and some Hyena stickers on there as well.

Yeah, just some fun stuff. And we're going to continue to update that site and get some more shirts up there. We're just having fun, guys. Appreciate it very much. So listen, that's it. Chrissy's out of steam. Chrissy's done.

That's it. We're done. We're set. It's just, yeah. So thank you done. That's it. We're done. We're set. It's just, yeah. So thank you so much for your service. But we're only 46 minutes in. Do you want to just try to push through? Cuz, you got to push through.

I need some salmon. Cuz, I know you need salmon, but all we did was bring up who the guy was. We didn't do anything on him. All right, so let's just do him. Yeah, real quick. Tell your friends to follow us at History Anis on Instagram and on the YouTube page. I have their toots. They can become non-toots through there as well. So Instagram and on the YouTube page. I have their toots.

They can become non-toots through there as well. So by clicking on the Patreon link there. Thank you very much. Mike emoji face. Let's call some people. You want to give a $25 call? Yeah. I thought you wanted to talk about Georgie as Papa Naluku.

That wasn't far off. That was pretty good. Yeah. Well, while he's getting the numbers going, we could talk about him a little bit. Yeah. Did you think that Kawhi Leonard shot yesterday was the best shot, best way to end a game seven in history? It was unbelievable. Were you going nuts?

It was unbelievable. Yeah. I mean, I didn't see it live. You were having a couple of brews. I was having a couple of brews. I mean, I had three with you and then I went home and I had two. Now, let me just ask you real quick, just real quick before we make this call. You've been married for almost two months now.

Has the wife been disciplined at all? Not yet. Not yet. But yesterday she could have used it a little bit. Yeah, and she'll discipline you though, right? Yeah, she likes to discipline me a little bit. We've talked about that. You're just a guy that you're equal parts estrogen and testosterone.

You're just a man and a woman at the same time. That's why it's so hard to put your finger on me. Yeah, you're Yanni unisex. Yeah, I'm part man and a woman at the same time that's that's why it's so hard to put your finger on me yeah you're yanni unisex yeah i'm just a i'm part man part woman and it's hard to yeah it's just hard to you can't put a finger on no you can't all right go ahead yeah zach who we call chris you're getting you're getting loose cuz yeah i might have to cackle that one. 100% cackle. It's at 47 minutes. Yeah, we just need to cackle at 47 minutes.

Just a quick cackle over that. Yeah, just the Englewood part. Papa Nicola was an interesting kid. Yeah, Papa Noduko. Hello. What's up? Papa Nicola was an interesting kid, cuz. Yeah, Papa Nicola. Yeah. Hello? What's up? This is Chris Estefan on Yannis Pappas from the History of Ahinas.

I got an STD. Who's this? This is Mike. Yeah. Mike, yeah. Thanks for being a $25 member, cuz. When's the last time you went raw daddy on a chick? It's been too long, cuz.

Probably like 20 years. Wow, he's a responsible kid. When you would go raw daddy, would you be nervous a little bit? Or what was your thought process when you go raw dog? You know, just gotta get it in there. I just wanted to clean it out real good. That's what he's gonna do. Crack it up and clean it out. Cuz, where do you live? What do you do?

I'm just walking out of work right now. Sorry about that. I'm in the suburbs of Chicago Kind of by the Schaumburg Improv Oh, Chicago You're from Chicago I'm going to be there August 22nd to the 24th Come to the shows You're going to bid Zany's

Yeah, I definitely will Zany's, right? Zany's, Chicago, yeah Thank you for being a $25 member We just wanted to call you up and say thanks What's your favorite moment of the podcast been so far? Yeah Dude, easily on the colonoscopy episode $25 member. We just wanted to call you up and say thanks. What's your favorite moment of the podcast been so far? Easily with the colonoscopy episode. Yeah. Wow.

That's way back. That was crazy, right? Nice. I got a camera right up my ass. I seriously listened to the entire backlog or whatever you want to call it in two weeks. Wow. He binged us. Thank you so much. Yeah, he binged us like we were walking dead. Yeah, like we're walking dead. Wow. Every episode. Wow. He binged us like, thank you so much. Yeah.

He binged us like we were walking dead. Yeah. Like we're the one to death. Yeah. Pretty much. Cause you got a wife, you got a boyfriend. What do you do?

No, I got a girl. Uh, you know, we've been together for a couple of years now. I got a big ass dog. I got a mastiff. I know Johnny would love that.

Awesome. Yeah. Love mastiffs. Yeah. Listen, we've reached the Hey Bird time limit. So we just want to say, um,

thank you so much for your service. Truly really appreciate it. I will see you in Chicago. Yeah of course fuck yeah dude i'm gonna stick a portillo's hot dog up my dick all right i love you guys man i love you brother nice kid what was his name again mike mike mike from chicago fresh young dude yeah that was fresh young dude yeah a nice kid who we calling up next? Connor, the also been throated kid. Yeah.

Connor's been throated. It's always nice to get a little throat coat once in a while. Yeah. I mean, what are we going to name this episode? Because we didn't do this kid at all. Why don't you just name it? Just name it. Chrissy Chlamydia's Wild. Yeah.

Just go Chrissy Chlamydia's Wild. Yeah. Yeah. STDs are wild. Yeah. And for those listening who like the history portion, you know, just go Chrissy Chlamydia's wild. Yeah. STDs are wild. Yeah. And for those listening who like the history portion, you know once in a while we go full hyena. Just Google Papa Niccolo yourself.

Yeah. I'm just out of gas. Yeah, we're out of gas. He's a great kid. He invented the pap smear. He eventually emigrated to the States. Didn't speak a lick of English. His wife ended up becoming his assistant.

He became a researcher. He got a job and he figured it out. That's what it is. Yeah. And he became a professor at Cornell University Medical College. That's what it is. And it's called cytology. Something like that.

The field. Did they pick up? Hello? Hello? You're speaking to Chrissy Chlamydia and Peanut Head Pappas. Hello? Hello? Yeah, what are you sucking on?

I just had to step out of work. No shit. This is awesome. Yeah. Did you have something in your mouth? Where do you work? Yeah. Don't worry about it.

Oh, well, I guess. One day I did. Yeah, so did I. My name and shit. Let me just... First of all, this is a good lesson for all the people we call. First thing you got to do is step out of work because we're not trying to get you fired. We will get you a water.

Yeah, we'll get you a water. Yeah, I need this job. I need a paycheck. So when did you get throat coated? When I was younger. You know, neighbor kid. We were fucking around and, you know, he named me. You caught one off the uvula.

Yeah, it happens. He tickled the uvula a little bit. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah, sometimes you take one off the crossbar. Yeah. I mean, you know, but you know, the silver liner is that's how you get screwed in. Yeah, it's just, yeah. That's it.

Yeah. I mean, it might be the reason why I can never finish during a blowjob, but you know, whatever. It's what it is. Yeah, it's just what it is. When's the last time you went raw dog on a girl? Yeah. And all you got to do is do what Chrissy do is let a couple guys creep into the mind and you might be able to finish.

Yeah. Now you said you have unprotected sex a lot. Do you have unprotected sex a lot? Oh yeah. That's the only type I have. Do you have a girlfriend or are you just out there? Yeah. Girlfriend. Okay. So you don't go raw daddy with strangers. Nah. Nah. Nah. Nah. That would be weird if you have a

girlfriend and you're putting on a fucking rubber for your girlfriend. Some people have to do that. Some people are germaphobes. They got to put rubbers on for their girls. Yeah, not Chrissy. Chrissy goes raw dog. I just go raw dog. Yeah, he's a skinny dipper.

He's Chrissy Clemente. Chrissy Clemente. Yeah. Where you live, cuz? Where you from? Originally? Well, Michigan. Michigan, Ann Arbor, Michigan area.

Where do you live now? I don't know why I said originally. I'm still in Michigan. I'm an idiot. Yeah, well, it's just what it is. Michigan's the nicest time of year. Hell yeah, man. It's been rainy a lot, but eventually that sun's going to come out.

Listen, we've reached the Hayward time limit, so we can't talk anymore, but we just want to say thank you so much for your service. Thanks for being a valuable $25 member. Quickly, what's your favorite moment in the podcast? free service. Thanks for being a valuable $25 member. Quickly, what's your favorite moment in a podcast? I just was listening to some early ones and the Battle of Crete.

That one, as far as history goes, that one was great. And then the recent one with the chick, what's her name? Christina Hutchinson? So my dick, babe. Yeah, Christina Hutchinson. It's just what it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, she was great. That was a great one. You're the best, man. Thank you.

Yeah. Yeah, we just hang up on them quick. A lot of these guys are going way back. Those were two way back after colonoscopy and Battle of Crete. That's like from a year ago. Yeah, Battle of Crete is actually my favorite episode. That was a good one, yeah. We've had some good ones, cuz. I got some messages about Redding,

Pennsylvania. People fucking liked it. People were like, wow, I didn't know Redding was so wild you know, yeah, he's Chrissy someplace else right now, yeah, sorry what's next, we got another one? those are all the ones on this block that gave in their phone numbers but Zach, who's this guy though? this guy, this guy

private messaged me what's his name? what the fuck is this? oh, you guys have been talking to these guys here then right um i just sent out a uh a message to everyone on the patreon so if you haven't sent your number yet send it to us yeah we're gonna get a we're gonna we've got a fucking list going together so we can get it to everybody yeah we have everyone uh in blocks now so what we're gonna start doing is messaging people before we record that hey expect a phone call today

uh from an unknown number. Make sure you're answering. Make sure you get out of work. Yeah. So anyway, the funny thing about Papa Niccolo is I think the first person he tried to paps me on was his wife. Really? Yeah. He did. I mean, that's what, I mean, that

makes sense to me. That's called supporting your man right there. Support your man. He had a hunch with the guinea pig and he was like, I need to try this on a person. And he looked, he peered deep into his wife's puss. How do you sell that to your wife though? It's like, I tried this on a guinea pig and I'm going to try it on you. Look, when you're Greek, women are just property. So she didn't really have a say.

He said, you know what? I'm going to, I'm going to use a, they use like a, and he used the, like a clamp. Cause that's what they do. They clamp and open it up and get the schmear. Yeah. Now there's a safer way to do it. And from what I understand. At least a speculum now, right?

Yeah. Yeah. So it's a little less painful. Um, but it's still pap smear. And from what I understand, it's like the, it's not foolproof though. From what I understand, it's like they only get like 50 percent of uh the cell area or something but whatever it is it's like um it's really good at detection and everyone's got to do it but it's not foolproof like you can you can't have precancerous cells and they will not show up

in a pap smear but i mean this guy has saved so many lives just with the pap smear. Right. I mean, it's estimated that every year he saves a couple thousand lives. And I mean, you know, there's people like this throughout history that just invented this thing. Things like this that save our lives. And especially in our country, they're so overlooked. You know, he was a guy who came to the United States. What's that? What was that?

Oh, yeah. You got a call from a producer? Heard of Beats? I mean, the kid came to the United States. He didn't speak a lick of English. And he actually, like, got, like, just a regular job. I mean, the guy was, like, super educated. And then finally found a job as a researcher and created the Papsmere. It's the Papsmere.ear. It's a pap smear.

Yeah. There's a lot of people coming to this Gotham show tonight for some reason. Yeah. What is it? It's a benefit. It's a benefit. It's like a lot of agents. I got like 10 texts like, see you at Gotham tonight.

See you at Gotham. What's going on? I think it's a benefit for mental health, for soldiers and stuff. It's a real cool cause. Oh, okay. That's dope then. We got a lineup tonight. It's me, you, Dylan, Schultz,

and Francis. It's a nice lineup. Yeah, we got a nice little fun lineup. Let's just be honest. The white man's making a comeback. It's what it is. You can't stop us. It's so dry. It's just what it is. All right, cuz. What do you want to do? Do you want to talk any more about Nicodopoulou? No. Where are we at?

We're at 58 minutes. Yeah, well, I mean, the kid died in Miami of a heart attack. It's just what it is. He was coked up. Yeah, he was being considered, I think, for the Nobel Peace Prize, and he was just coked up in Miami, and he died of a heart attack. Yeah. Because you're going to Miami, and you're bringing Sergio Chacon.

I am bringing Sergio Chacon with me to Miami. I'll be in Miami in June. So go to their website, buy tickets. If you live in Miami or Florida, come see me. Is GiannisPompous.net up and running? no it's not up and running yet just go to their fucking website go to their website Miami Improv and go to

ChrisDComedy.com for all my dates I got San Diego coming up American Comedy Company May 30th June 1st and then we got June 24th 25th Soho Theatre London England yeah do we not cover these people because they're just a little And then we got June 24th, 25th, Soho Theater, London, England. Yeah. Because do we not cover these people because they're just a little boring, even though they do hero stuff?

They do. I thought we were going to talk about Chernobyl, and we're going to talk about that next week. Yeah, we will. But these people, no, but they do hero stuff. But no, they're not boring. But it's just more exciting to talk about like a Kardashian than it is to talk about the guy who created the pap smear. Yeah, it's just what it is. Is there something in human nature where we're just like that?

We just get bored by smart stuff. Yeah, it's just like we just can't understand it. Like, you know, it's just like it's smart. I get it. You know, he should be more of a historical figure, but it's just it's just not. Nobody cares. Yeah. You know, I mean, I get Pat like, you know, I just wish I wish more people cared.

Yeah. Yeah. Guys don't have to do things like that. We don't got to get anything checked. We just got to... Only thing we got to do is... You got to get your prostate checked. Not till we're 50 though, right? They start checking those?

I don't know. Well, you got blood in your glutes, so you should go a little earlier. Yeah. Well, I did. That's why we did that episode. But what we do have to do, we just have to cup our own balls and check for testicular cancer. It's just what it is.

And my hands are always on my balls anyway, so that's not really asking too much to check your balls once in a while. I do it anyway. No. 50. Yeah. So, ladies, get your pap smears. Thanks to George Nicolac. What's his fucking name again?

I forget. George Papa Nicolo. So, thanks to Yorgos Papa Nicolo. We have the pap smear. It's named after him. And get your pap smears, girls. Especially if you slough the grass. It's just what it is. ស្រូវនប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប្រូវាប់ពីប�