History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 71 - The Invasion of Norway was WILD!

Episode Date: May 26, 2019

The boys talk operation Weserübung: code name for Germany's assault on Denmark and Norway during the Second World War and the opening operation of the Norwegian Campaign. It’s all about the iron ore! Wild tale! They're joined by their friend Jennifer Begakis!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

What's up, cuzzy wuzzies? You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys, History Hyenas. It's another week. It's another Thursday or Sunday. And you're wondering, where's the cast? Is it up? We hope so. Let me just tell you something, Christopher.

Yeah. Okay. You have the privileges of doing this podcast and not putting on the headphones because you don't want to. It's a fuck up your perfect Ubermensch hair. And I have to put the headphones. My hair is much more malleable. And it's important that every strand stays in the same place. place but you know why i gotta put them on why so i can know whether isis has hit the way jean jean button to protect you and your family it's what it is cuz i don't want to be here the the

it's the least amount of wanting to be or i've ever been is right now cuz i the last thing i want to be fucking doing yeah truly at this moment is be on this fucking podcast because i just don't want to do it what do you want to do i just want to go outside and throw hands you just came from throwing hands i just want to cool off in a fire hydrant like my daughter's ancestors listen wait she in please yeah i mean you don't even know what's going on you can't hear it i'm dripping in sweat yeah and listen if you're gonna have an amateur fight it's gonna have to be in the months of january through march because right now you're only gonna last 15 seconds because

you're german and you lost your powers to me make no mistake i sparred with the great sergio chacon today and after five rounds of sparring the first time i ever sparred i hit him with a clean two and i yelled a racial slur after i did it yeah then i ran around the ring and he was like that's not cool pop and then what did you say whatever what'd you call him a fire hydrant no i'm squirrel i'm kidding i did and i called him a fiesta no thank you i said no i didn't uh i didn't do that but it was unbelievable to box and like spar and like actually connect and hit somebody it's fucking it's like getting your first laugh in a comedy show by the way we need to introduce someone who hasn't been here in a long time yeah someone who our fans know and love deeply a perpetual phd student phd student and we thought

that she had stopped listening to the podcast because she hasn't commented anymore. But make no mistake, she's back and something's fishy. Jen Begakis. Jen Begakis is back in the building and make no mistake, she's been listening but she's just been in relationship bliss because she's getting banged out by a guy named Nico Weissman. Is that true?

Yeah. Yeah, good for you. Is that your boyfriend? Yeah. So Rafael DeLuca, you lost your shot because as Yana said before you came in, Rafael DeLuca, you had her at Harvard and you lost her at DJ. That's what it is. And that was a very funny thing Yana's papa said. Yeah, Rafael dodged a bullet. I'm a lot of trouble.

Let's be crystal clear. Rafael DeLuca is a letdown. Because you hear a name, Rafael DeLuca, You think it's just spicy little fucking Italian number. You say what to Harvard. Now girls are starting to flick their bean and they're starting to get wet. And then you find out that he lives with his parents and he's a DJ. Yeah. And then it's,

it's drives the Sahara down there. It's even worse than that. It's even worse than that. You hear Raphael DeLuca. Sexy name. Yeah. Right. You thinking this kid's got some roots in maybe Monaco.

Yeah. Right. Cause it's a three name, Italian name. DeLuca. So that thinking this kid's got some roots in maybe Monaco. Yeah. Right. Because it's a three name Italian name. That usually means kids parents own a boat. Raphael. Right. Then you find that he went to Harvard and you're like, wow, this kid comes from wealth because nobody named Raphael DeLuca got into

Harvard on his scores. No, that's some family money. That's a pedigree admission because that kid should be should be fucking cleaning off pieces of marble and installing them on your kitchen. That's what it is. I don't know if they have affirmative action for Italians. Well, they should because we're getting stepped on.

And then you find that he played high school football. Oh, and that's hot. And then you see his high school football photo. Yeah. And you're like, this kid is fucking cute. Yeah. And then you see his modern day photo and you're like did this kid get into a fucking fight while he had a blackout alcohol binge because his nose is crooked yeah like what happened to this kid did he get a head injury

while playing football and that was full franks and beans like yanni's brother because his nose looks like uh what was the guy named from uh from the episode where... I don't care. I want to turn off the podcast. Huh? None. Jen, you look hot. Giannis and Jen are wearing white. We're wearing white. And they're nice because they're virgins. We're Greeks. What'd you say? We spent most of our history wearing bedsheets? Wearing bedsheets. Most history, you're just in a bedsheet and it's what it is.

It's just an adaptation of the toga, yes. You look like Marilyn Monroe and you look full Franks and and beans with an ultimate warrior shirt that you borrowed from hey we're not supposed to say it anymore um jen thank you jen we're happy that you're here because make no mistake i know you're greek but you do look like a scandi so so so you look like a scandi and we're going to be talking about how the german snow monkeys

my people tried to take over well they did take over the scandis in world war ii um because yesterday in bay ridge yesterday was um may 17th even though yesterday was may 19th shout out my daughter it's her birthday even though legally i can't mention her name anymore um so um we just call it the baby b-a-b-i the baby birthday was yesterday, but there was also a parade in Bay Ridge yesterday celebrating Norwegian independence, which was May 17th. Actually, I don't know what year, but do you know what year? May 17th, 1905. 1905. They got their independence from who?

From the Swedes. From the Swedish. It's Constitution Day in Norway, which actually started earlier, but in the 1800s, 1880. But they didn't get their independence from the Swedes until 1905. If you could just refrain from putting your arm up like that, because then I see your little girl bicep tattoo and I get angry. Yeah, because

you want to give me a snapping, right? Or you don't want to hang out with Filipinos that sound like snapping turtles. It's not like if you don't come in tomorrow, I'm going to be outside. I have to go see Manny Pacquiao. That was borderline Indian. That was Indian, Pakistani, all of South. It was called foreign.

Get them out of my country. Build a wall. It's what it is. Can I get away, Jean-Gene, Zach? Please. Thank you. So the thing is, the thing is the Norwegian Day Parade yesterday, which was great. We had a great time at it in Bay Ridge.

There was Norwegian. There used to be a big Norwegian population in Bay Ridge, and there's still a very small part. The only Norwegian pride parade in the whole state is in Bay Ridge, and it was yesterday. But it's really just a lot of Italian and Irish kids just making believe that they're Norwegian so they get a couple of brews. Yeah, it's just an excuse to drink and put on a Viking helmet.

And Ferentino Fuel Company to drive through for no fucking reason. Yeah, and shout out Smithtown Water. Oh yeah and shout out Smithtown Water. Oh, yeah, shout out Smithtown Water Department. Yeah, what happened was the Scandinavians, it was like- Can we just say Scandies? Scandies. That's not bad.

Yeah. Norwegian Scandies. They first came to this country, and then they lived in a little- They live in the city, be honest with you. They live in the city? The first migration of Norwegians lived in a little part of the city. Then they moved to Brooklyn down there in the Gowanus. Right. Because that's in the city? The first migration of Norwegians lived in a little part of the city. Then they moved to Brooklyn down there in the Gowanus because that's where the ships were.

And then they got a little bit of money and they moved out there to Bay Ridge, but they moved more into the 50s and 60s, which is now called Sunset Park. So what happened was a Puerto Rican family moved in there. Your great, great, great, great baby mama. And then all of them left because of the Puerto Rican family. It's what it is. That's what happened. And they went to Long Island and Westchester.

They went out to... It was a Scandi flight. Yeah, a Scandi flight, yeah. Yeah, a Scandi flight. So, um, but yeah, so we wanted to come in and talk about today about Little World War II history. Because I love fucking WWII, because make no mistake, the boys came in and they won even though it's a soft spot on my heart because I am

full Nazi. Here's what it is. If you were going to do like a wrestling analogy, it was like a Royal Rumble and then like we're Stone Cold Steve Austin. You hear our music. We popped a couple of brews and we ran into the ring and we cleared house. It's what it is. That's what happened between the years of 1940

and 1945. Yeah. Now, Jen, do you know anything about World War II Norwegian history? I don't know if you do. And yeah, I do know that they're sort of famous for hiding a lot of Jewish families. Yeah, they were very... They had a whole sort of underground network

of... There's a great book about a woman who... Is Nico Weissman a Jew? He is, yeah. Screwed in! You're making a screwed in decision by dating a Jew. It also complicates this because his first name like goes by nico so every time i post it yeah every time i post

to facebook my the older greek individuals that follow me on social media is is he greek is he greek no i hate to disappoint he's not yeah but i don't know if dating a jew his first name's nico which is great but also a jew does a greek father get mad if you bring home a Jew? I mean, you're bringing home a nice investment. 100%. Really? It's got to be Greek. I'm telling you, that's what makes... But even a kid has money? Yeah, Greeks don't care about money. It's about

Greek culture. It's about Greek culture. It's about the superior Greek culture. The way Germans feel like the Uba mentions and Supa people, Greeks feel like their culture is superiorions and super people. Greeks feel like their culture is superior. Yeah. Yeah. You look like you were a Greek that was made in between 1940 and 1945.

You look like you were a Cretan. Ray, baby. Can I get a way to Jean, please? Yeah. I mean, I was like, I skid into that one. Yeah. That was more of a christy d line what happened i was i was i checked out i said she she looks like a cretin rape baby yeah from 1940 1940 compliment like there was a there was a scandi in the woods yeah it escaped scandi she looked

like an occupying german soldier uh just you know took down a Greek girl. Took down my mom. I did my 23 and me though. What are you? San German. No, my dad is Greek and then Turkish and Middle Eastern and Italian and my mom was like English and then Finnish. Wow. Right. And your kid's gonna

have a bar mitzvah. Yeah. When we get to, go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. When we get to go to patreon.com slash bay ridge boys when we get to 25 000 patreon members we're gonna yannis and i are gonna buy a condo in israel now what's happening did you buy it in the west bank yeah yeah no it's just yeah zach's not a fan of israel because he's on the other side yeah he's on the other side. Yeah, he's on the other side of that wall. There's a wall. He's got some new tricks up his sleeve today. Yeah, wow, he's fucking crafting Sandy.

He crafted Sandy, yeah. Yeah. Cuz. Cuz, it's what it is. Can I get Wei Zhongxin, please? Wei Zhongxin. Thank you very much. You said that I'd either end up with a Greek or a wasp. That's the only way to go.

Yeah. Well, I don't know what I did wrong, but, you know, it's okay. Because you, yeah, I mean, when you, have you met his family yet? Yeah. So were they like, what do you do? What do your parents do? Oh, you're very nice. I also

like, I haven't realized how waspy I have become since I've been living away from my family. You've seen Annie Hall, right? It's the scene when the, you know, he envisions himself as an Orthodox Jew at Easter dinner. Yeah. I felt like I was grasping invisible pearls as they were arguing. I didn't know where to interject and just sort of like sit there and like fold my napkin on my lap.

And I was, yeah, it was a very interesting experience. Now, do you, when you're with him, do you have to still, do you have to sneak smoking Newports in theports behind the house? Like you did. Look, she's a full-blown wasp-sized Greek. But she smokes Newports. Yeah, well, no, she doesn't smoke Newports. There's no way this girl, she smokes Marlboro Lights.

Oh, she smokes Juul. Oh, Juul, I don't Juul. But if she sneaks a Marlboro, she's just like a good wasp. She'll sneak a little red wine. She's got a bottle in the closet. At nighttime, she'll pop out a Marlboro. She's just like a good wasp. She'll sneak a little red wine. She's got a bottle in the closet. At nighttime, she'll pop out a glass. Yeah. And she'll go and she'll smoke a Marlboro light out the window.

It's going to go glass first. Yeah. I'm one deep and I'm like, you know what? Let me get sick. I earned it. Yeah. Bring it on. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I used to call them butts. Now I call them ciggies. Yeah. Yeah. Because your life's in crisis. I yeah you look in crisis you look good though i know you've been working out thank you you'll get cracked open i haven't seen you guys

in like almost a year yeah um yeah he slimmed up and i've slimmed up i just yeah i used to be more in shape he was more out of shape we flip-flopped i just have to yeah i have to just box and throw hands because i got a crisis fucking family thing it's just what it is you know i've been out you know it's just yeah we just got days i got a long fucking day today throwing hands from 8 to 12 it's a long day to throw hands and you gotta do a mountain dew commercial well that's why i'm throwing hands because i got a spar on the mountain dew commercial so we have to really work at boxing then i got this podcast then we got the next podcast and i have four shows and another podcast it's just a long fucking day what because you're just gonna have to for the last three episodes

you've just been carrying the load and today's no different you just have to carry the load because even though it's only one o'clock i am already exhausted let me just be crystal clear with you for a second because since you you're incapacitated you can't bcc i'll be cc with you cc with me tell me how the cookie's going to crumble. This is how the cookie crumbles. Okay. If me and you were soldiers side by side. Yeah. Allied soldiers crossing. Can we be Nazis?

It's just kidding. Why? For the uniforms? Yeah. You want to get that fat button uniform. I want to get that in. Because if I come over to your house and I find you in a fucking Nazi uniform that you got on Amazon, I'm turning you in myself. Yeah, it's what it is. Guys, have you perused? Have you Googled where you can get a Nazi uniform so you can walk around in your house without shoes and socks on?

Yeah. Because you can't Google it. Because make no mistake, you better take your fucking shoes off when you enter my home. Because yeah. You really do have a white apartment. White. But the rules in there are very Eastern Hemi. Makes me take my shoes off like I'm going to a dog job.

Oh my god, yeah. No, same. Nico's like that. I don't get it. Also, no, I don't want my feet to be exposed at all, ever. They need to be in shoes. You want Chris's feet in shoes at all times. He's got broken fucking feet. There was a cop that came by and he was wearing flip flops. He got a ticket. They need to be in shoes. Well, you want Chris's feet in shoes at all times. Trust me. Broken fucking feet. Cuz.

Yeah, cuz. There was a cop that came by and he was wearing flip flops. He got a ticket. Yeah. Hammer toe. Put them away. Chrissy, put your feet away. Chrissy, put the feet away.

Way song zine. Same zine. I may have to edit that part out. I was just i was just kidding yeah obviously i'm just joking that's a cat going no that's a cackle take note of the time code everything else is fine 14 55 yeah i like when we cackle stuff now because the fans really want to know what we're saying and they don't want to know trust me so that's why we're cackling it just that one needs a cackle yeah wait can i can i ask that because like to me it's all funny and good is anyone complains like are you guys getting like bad reviews or something

literally in i swear to god one 60 episodes what is it more than 60 now zach yeah i'm like 63 63 episodes truly one complaint there's been one complaint in 63 episodes yeah let's talk about that's good though let's do the ratio. That's like, uh, let's probably say about 3000 Sandy mentions to one complaint. Yeah. That's our ratio.

We're about 3001. So we're doing pretty good. It's just like regular people. Where, whereas then, you know, I do a podcast on another network and it's more like liberal and whatever. And like,

I've done five episodes and I've gotten about 40 complaints. Yeah. So it's just different people. And plus that one've done five episodes and I've gotten about 40 complaints. Yeah. So it's just different people. And plus that one's less organic and more forced together by a network trying to stay afloat. It's just what it is. Anyway, what I was saying,

Chris, when you, before you sit, yeah. What I was saying before you said, if we could be Nazis in the, in the hypothetical, which was just a hypothetical thing.

Don't say it again. Yeah, exactly. But that part was okay. Cause it was obviously a joke. So I was saying is I could, if't say it again. Yeah, exactly. But that part was okay because it was obviously a joke. So what I'm saying is, if you went down, if you took fire, but you were still

alive, I would put you down. I wouldn't try to save you. And I'll explain to you why. Okay? Let's say we're up there in Norway. We're going to talk about the Battle of Norway today. Okay? Let's say we're in Norway. Let's say we're British troops, right? We've been ferried in to try to defend the port city of Navik, okay? Let's say we're in Norway. Let's say we're British troops, right? We've been ferried in to try to defend the port city of Novik, right?

Right. And you took some fire from the Germans. Right. Right? And you took a few bullets, but you're still alive. Right. I'm going to take a gun and put you down like a sick horse, like a rabbit horse.

I'm going to put you down. You want to know why? Why? Because I can't carry you. Because I've't carry you. You're a fucking big headed, big butted, lopsided kid. And like Sergio said, we need to remedy it. It's what it is. Remedy it.

Because you can't be carried out of a battle zone. Yeah. Injured. You're a type of kid. You're either going to be alive. You're going to be dead. Nobody's taking you wounded. You can't be moved.

It's going to take like an ox and a gurney to move you you would just have to light my butt on fire and keep moving on yeah it's what it is yeah so yeah um yeah that's what i was trying to say while you were in crisis just in crisis yeah that's what it is yeah um yeah so because if you think you're gonna get through this day today without another three iced coffees and chewing down two of your nails to the bone. Yeah, you got another thing coming. If you think that when I'm having extreme crisis mode like this, I don't undercover go see a lady boy and put

his cock in my mouth like a little pacifier. You got another thing coming. Why don't you just do what millennials do and get a prescription for ADD medication? Because I can't do it. Yeah, it's just what it is. It is what it is. It's just what it is. It is what it is. It's just what it is.

I spit up water on the microphone and into my nose. Yeah. Yeah. Because if you think nine times out of ten I come in here with a sore throat, it's not because I just went to go visit a ladyboy. You got another thing coming. Or as you call them, stress relievers. Stress relievers.

It's just what it is. I call them my vitamins. Because you just need to be tapped once in a while. You need to be tapped a little bit. stress relievers. Stress relievers. It's just what it is. I call them my vitamins. Because your uvula just needs to be tapped once in a while. It needs to be tapped a little bit. It's like a speed bag. Because the McCormick twins treat your uvula like a speed bag. They treat it like a little speed bag. It was my first time ever sparring

with my uvula. If someone ever starts making cartoons out of this podcast, they're going to be hilarious. Whoever makes those fucking cartoons, start making them and make that one with Chris's uvula and turn it into a speedback. That's what it is. Rafael De Luca, that's beyond your skill set, because make no mistake, your skill set is limited to making mixes.

You're a DJ, but Bill Burr said he liked your song. He did. He did. We love Rafael De Luca. He seems like he's in a good place. Yeah, he's in a good place after Jen Begac is fucking upgraded big time, big time upgrade from parental disappointment to screwed it.

It's fucking great. I gotta get a napkin because I spit water through my nose. Jen Bagac has the exact kind of look and speech that my mother wants. That's what Lynn wants. Lynn wants that. Yeah, but I don't think Lynn's ever even been exposed to that my mother wants. That's what Lynn wants. Lynn wants that. Yeah, but I don't think Lynn's ever even been exposed to that.

She wants more. Are we going to go to the island? You know, she wants more. If I came home with a school teacher. She wants you to be on the island. She wants you to be out there with Tank Sinatra. Yeah, yeah. If I started speaking with W's next to my vowels.

Yeah, she would love that. Yeah, cool. So where are you living now? So I'm in Ithaca. But I'm'm gonna be moving down to the city um in the fall with the man yeah fucking yo yeah he um does he listen to the pod he does yeah he listens to the pod he's not really a podcast person but i send him episodes all the time and and finally i just and he looks does he have an angle on how we can make more money on it um yeah no but he was saying like because one of the things is uh how um like other podcasts like if i'm just gonna pick on one like like i don't know jared's podcast or whatever

yeah they have these like sponsor breaks and they read the the copy and they do it where they are like kind of connecting back to whatever the the email they were just reading right but like i feel like you guys could have like theme specific sponsorships yeah well right now we don't have we don't have any real spot i mean we have real sponsors but it's like we just have their fans that just want their businesses read out loud so which by the way we're capping that yeah we're not doing not doing it anymore. So what is it? We got six now. That's it. I got to pee.

I got an S. Yeah, no more. No more hundred dollar sponsors at this point. We've made it to the end. And while Chris Pease might as well, might as well just do one quick. Yeah. If I could just we look, our our our pockets call history hyenas for a reason. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. We have nothing ready at all times. Chris, do you have any? I mean, I said, do you have the copy anywhere? I don't. Well, Mike usually has him, but he's not here. This is so fun, though. It's like a scavenger hunt.

I killed his king. Look, Jen, can you just carry this for a second? Was that the bell? Yeah. OK, now we're going to find out right now whether we got a new intern or a mass murderer is about to come in here because there's a kid who contacted me last night and he said, hey, I want to intern for the podcast. I'm good with video and audio stuff. And I just pulled a Chrissy D.

And I said, you know what? Just ring bell three. Come up. So I don't know who this kid is. Either way, we're going out on the pod. Yeah, I have not corresponded with him more than once. Yeah. And so either we have a good intern or we're all going to die.

It's actually just Raphael. That would be funny if it's Raphael. God damn it. Listen, we're brought to you as always. Dremel, you're still a fan of the podcast, right? Yeah, of course. So you remember, I sent the copy to everyone.

Yeah. Is this the kid? No, no. Oh, yeah. He doesn't look like a college kid. um yeah is this the kid no no oh yeah he doesn't look he doesn't look like a college kid yeah one of my students asked what year I was and I said in grad school and they said no like or you're like a senior and I said yeah no sure whatever

I'm at least five years older audio on it or oh no okay cool yeah you know we had an ongoing joke Jen we don't know how old you are I'm at least five years older. No audio on it or no? Okay, cool. Yeah. You know, we had an ongoing joke, Jen. We don't know how old you are. I'm 25. 25.

Yeah. So we'll take the averages of the three that you told us. What did I say? I said I wanted to be done by 27. Because I'm trying to do my best because I got to carry the load. You're a big ass to carry. Yeah. Because let's just get to the Norway facts because.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm just overwhelmed right now and I can't do this because I don't know where the fucking copy is. All I know about Norway is frozen and it exists in Epcot. Yeah. And no fumes. And nobody has fumes on that. No fumes. And also when I'm in Greece, that's what I'm accused of being.

Yeah. You look like a Scandi. We've been out. We've been out all these buttons for like six weeks. Now all of a sudden, ISIS has them all back. Someone kept stealing my fucking wire that I left. And so now I'm just taking it with me so they don't steal it. Yeah, who is it? Is it Bobby?

It's probably one of those. Can you give me a k-k-k-k-k-k-k? It's been a while. Oh, that one I got a five. Wow. I love it when you guys go on Bobby's show. Actually, I don't think I've heard you on it. Yeah, because you know what? it's a waste of time um it's like a comic

hang though right yeah it's a comic hang but it's at 9 30 at night it's like listen i gotta go pick up the baby yeah i've been throwing hands at 7 a.m i just can't do it yeah yeah yeah yeah now you're now since you're in a mood is there anything you want to be kind of crystal clear about or you want to pick up a pipe on anyone or you just what's the deal right now? You should betch slap. Yeah. Yeah. Let me.

Don't do it on anyone who you're related to. Yeah. Because it may want to go there. Just like be a good Irish kid and put it someplace else. Yeah. I mean, you know, I don't know. What are you pissed about right now? What am I pissed about?

What have you had enough with? You know what? You know what I've truly had enough with? Except for me wearing white T-shirts so you can see my tits and they're infuriating. Yeah. It makes me mad that your tits are fucking absolutely pointing east to west, not north to south anymore. 100% that bothers me.

My tits look like they're not talking to each other. Also, it's like, I just want to be crystal clear. Like, BCC, you don't have to say everything you think. Yeah. Okay? It's like, we live in a world now because I guess you just tweet stuff out all the time. Yeah. It's like you could just say your thoughts. That's fine on the Internet because you live in cyberspace because it's safe there and you don't have to be the actual. You don't have to have two feet in reality. There's no hands on the Internet. There's no hands on the Internet.

It's like, you know, just listen. Don't give me your fucking opinion on everything. If you're somebody that has an opinion on every single thing that happens in this world, I don't trust you and you're a fucking loser. And I just really, really, really, really, really want to fucking hit you with a one two combo. If you have an opinion on everything, people like that scare me where it's like you can't possibly know everything about everything. And if you want to be the smartest person in the room, then do that shit in your own time.

Because the one thing I cannot fucking stand is arrogance. I'll literally let you steal a hundred thousand dollars from my bank account but the minute you're arrogant i'll punch you in the face yeah the minute you pretend to know to think that vitamins are placebo yeah even though there's studies going both ways what are the cookie crumbles yeah yanni p's been a fucking centimeter away from getting a clean left hook to the body for saying some dumb shit that he thinks he knows about that he knows nothing about for me but i've just held it in because he helped me buy an apartment and he was there to listen to me when i thought i had chlamydia

three times and my baby's mama threw my shit out the window has such practical intelligence that when he says things that are a little bit abstract, you say, but at least it's grounded in reality, right? Yes. Maybe not. Yeah, 100%. No, no. Yanni P, I got, trust me, I got no fucking qualms. I got no problems with Yanni P.

But it's just, yeah, you know, it's just that. But you're just sick and tired of hearing people's opinions? I'm just sick and tired of hearing like, you know, I'm also sick and tired of like, like I had to go to a birthday party this weekend with my kid. And it's like also like, you know, we have it in the tired of like, like I had to go to a birthday party this weekend for my kid with my kid. And it's like also like, you know, we have it in the park and like you have to get a kite. That's what they want. It's like, listen, you know what I mean?

Like, it's not 1786. OK, why am I trying to buy a kite? I mean, I went to five ninety nine cent stores. These Eastern Hemings had no idea what a kite even fucking was. I was showing them pictures. They're like, is this present day America? Like, let's know it's been. Listen, I'm going to be fucking complete.

I'm going to be crystal fucking clear with you. Uh-oh. I want to give my daughter a party in the park, too, but I'm a fucking grown man with a family, so I had to drop $1,300 on Bounce U. It's just what it is. I had to get clean the fuck out, you know? Baby's mama wouldn't talk to me at all until it was time to pay the bill up. And then I just had to drop a crystal clear, clean $1,300.

Because guess what? I want to do what's best for my baby. Yeah. You know, you want to save a few bucks, too, and buy some bagels from the fucking 7-Eleven and have a couple of 99 cent muffins and have a party in the park. You want to save a few bucks, that's fine. But guess what? All your kids got bit by mosquitoes and it was just

a little fucking wild to have a party in the park. There's no way that Lynn did not buy a bag of day-old bagels once in a while. Lynn? Yeah. Did she ever get day-old bagels? The bag of day-old bagels? Every single one of my? Yeah. Did you ever get day old bagels? The bag of day old bagels? Every single one of my birthday parties. For a dollar? Every single one of my birthday parties until I was about 10 years old was at the McDonald's

play place on Myrtle Avenue and 80th Street in Ridgewood, Queens. See, I think that's so much better though. I got the youngest of five. No, I didn't have a birthday party until like friends threw it for me when I was in college. Yanni's parents didn't even know that he had a birthday. Yeah. My parents treated me like a 50 year old man when I was three. Yeah.

They just gave him a bottle of tequila. They just said, okay, here's your brother. He's special needs. We got to go to work. Figure it out. Yeah. They didn't even tell me. They said, here, here, we put more money into your life insurance policy.

If one of us dies, you'll get some money. Yeah. And that's about it. Be productive. Earn your dinner. Yeah. We need to find these sponsor reads. But in the meantime, because we are going to talk about Norway because it's fucking wild.

Let's just talk about Norway because you and Jen look like you're Scandies. We're fucking Scandies. We look like we're on a postcard. I have absolutely no power in Europe because in America I have somewhat power. Yana says over females because I have a big Viking head. But in Norway, I'm a little guy. I'm just a little guy with a little baby Viking head there. In Norway, you just look like a little special need.

You look like a special needs Norwegian. Yeah. If I was in Norway and I came out with the Ultimate Warrior t-shirt, they'd probably give me a nickel and just one of those propeller hats and tell me to go take a look. Yeah. In Sweden, you look like Quasimodo. You look like Swedish Quasimodo. Yeah.

Because I got to start doing a look. Yeah. In Sweden, you look like Quasimodo. You look like Swedish Quasimodo. Yeah. Cause I, yeah, I got to start doing more yoga. Yeah. Yeah. I got to start doing more yoga, but I have to find a new yoga instructor cause I tried to crack her open and clean her out and it got weird. Now she can't come over anymore. Yeah. So that's what you just do. And let me just be crystal clear with you for a second.

Sure. Let me tell you how the cookie crumbles. Tell me how the cookie. Stop losing too much weight because you don't have a clear grip on what you look like. You're a square kid. Your head is a square. You got a big 3D square head and if you get skinny

you're going to look like a lollipop. I'm going to look like a caricature. You'll look like me, like a bobble head. You have to be thick. You have to somehow. I can't be lumbered around 225 because you're not a flyweight yeah yeah i'm 240 i started 242 now i'm 225 i can get down to 205 it's just gonna be bad 205 you're gonna look like you're sick no because you saw me and when i was

playing at st joe's i was 190 when i was when i shaved my head yeah but that was it that was like as i look at your dad i look at you as a kid that was when you still had kid jeans yeah now you got full-blown staten island jeans yeah so you as a kid. That was when you still had kid jeans. Yeah. Now you got full blown Staten Island jeans. Yeah. So you just gravity is kind of pulling you all. I got the kind of body that just every morning it wakes up and tries to walk to a Dunkin Donuts. Yeah. You look like young Fred Flintstone.

It's what it is. Yeah. My dad's full friends. Yeah. Yeah. You and your dad are just kind of shaped a little like Fred Flintstone. Yeah. Yeah.

It's just what it is. It's what it is. I feel good. I thank you, Jen. I appreciate that. You guys could both be fake, like you could be like fake Scandies in the war and like be spies. Yeah.

Like you guys could totally blend in for the boys. You could walk in there and be, and they'd be like, and you'd be like, yeah, yeah. But you get English accent. You're British. You're New York comes out. I'm a New York kid. That's how you get your head cut off. Yeah. Yeah. I can't wait to leave. Yeah, I it's um the the um the battle of norway yeah um for lack of i mean being able to no wasn't it called the wesenberger thank you i don't know because i refused to learn that dumb

language i think it was called though no i think i called the schnitzel night of murder here here god i'm gonna find it's called the Wurzenberger Urger. Can you pronounce it? By the way, Zach, just in the light of time, because we're here, instead of giving it to you, I just want to... This video had me dying laughing because this is what a true German

sounds like when he speaks English. German invasion of Norway and Denmark in 1940. Norway had a major importance for the Like, I tried to learn from this video, but I could not understand this kid. All German guys sound like they just want dicks. It's so funny. They're like

that soft sing-songy, like, oh, welcome in to Deutschland. Or it's like the really intense, angry, like Arnold Schwarzenegger sound. That's actually a really good point. It's either like fruity as all hell. It's either like lederhosen. Yeah. It's like overly fruity or overly toxically masculine. Yeah.

So one's the bottom, one's the top. Yeah. German only comes in two flavors So one's a bottom with the top. Yeah. That's German only comes in two flavors. There's no like moderate sounding German. It's like, hi, we're from Germany. I like the juice line here. Max and Stubbins. Yeah.

Yeah. We haven't done a Max and Stubbins in a while. But so what's it was called? The worst. West. Yeah. The Western. Yeah. That's a. It was called the Wester-U-Bang. The Wester-U-Bang? Yeah.

Wester-U-Bang. That was the Operation Wester-U-Bang, which was the invasion of Norway and Denmark that Hitler wanted to do at the exact same time in April of 1940. Now, the reason why Norway was such an important geographical location for both sides was mainly because history often overlooks this

because it's just not cute. It's not as fun. But fucking the moving and the movement of materials is really behind all things. It's what it is. If I can't get Hostess cupcakes, which come in a truck,

then we're not in a civilized place. Yeah. So the iron ore, the Swedish iron ore mines up there in the North and Germany's access to them is behind why Norway was such an important geographical location and why Germany and, make no mistake, the Allied forces, Britain and France, but at the time mostly Britain,

because they were the leader. Make no mistake, they were the fucking leader. Is this kid the intern? I have no idea who that kid is because I just spoke to him. Like I said, I pulled a Christy D. I didn't even look at his profile. The kid could have a knife in his pocket.

Yeah, so this... I'm not speaking to Christy D. No,'t even look at his profile. The kid could have a knife in his pocket. Yeah. I was speaking to Christy D. No, I was speaking to Giannis. So what should we do? I don't know. So are you the kid who you emailed me, like the intern kid? Yeah. Yeah.

What's your name? Get on a mic. Grab a mic. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we're all over. Yeah. He looks like a Norwegian Scandi, too. Yeah.

What nationality are you? I'm half Irish, half Italian. Half Irish, half Italian. Yeah. Yeah. Brian, by the way. Brian. Yeah. What's up, Brian? Where are you from? Jersey. Yeah. What nationality are you? I'm half Irish, half Italian. Half Irish, half Italian. Yeah. Yeah. Brian, by the way. Brian. Yeah.

What's up, Brian? Where are you from? Jersey. Yeah. Jersey. Yeah. Nice, man. Where do you go to school?

Montclair State. OK, nice. You're a fucking tall drink of water. Yeah. Now, look, I don't want to encourage people to just message us and think they're going to get on the podcast. This is a one time only deal. It's funny that he thought he was talking to me.

Yeah. Well, he I don't know. Yeah. That's a bad sign already because he messaged me personally. Yeah. So he can't tell the difference. Do you have a weapon? No.

OK. I got a pocket knife in my backpack. That's fine. Chrissy knows how to throw hands. He'll protect us all. I'll block and I'll hit you with a clean two to the chin. Because there's no way you look intimidating, no matter how many hands you know how to throw with an ultimate warriors T-shirt.

Because it was either this or a whitney shirt because you look like a fucking five-year-old at a birthday party who's excited it's what it is yeah so what's your name again brian brian thanks for coming so you got a deep voice you've been eating puss i wish yeah so all right what's your how old are you like graduated college or what's your deal i just finished sophomore year i'm 20 wow you're a 20 year old kid you're a good kid yeah why do you want to intern for this podcast i need experience yeah you guys are the fucking best thank you i appreciate that yeah that's so sweet now do you know jen bagakis have you been listening for a long time i've heard of jen bagakis yeah yeah this is the one and only jen bagakis yeah i'm jen yeah good

to meet you she's's taken, sorry. By Nico Weiss. Are we allowed to say this? We're not allowed to use real names. And Nico listens to the podcast. Now, how quickly are you going to get to the polls and vote for Trump? Yeah, Chris, I want you to interview our intern and you tell me if you think he's good.

We're going to use him. We need a lot of help. We need a lot of help with audio. I mean, with like little videos, promos. We need a Facebook page. We need a lot of help. We need a lot of help with audio for, I mean, with like little videos, promos. We need a Facebook page. Can you do all that stuff? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Facebook page. We need Twitter.

Somebody run the Twitter to Facebook page. Just make no mistake. We lost the person that was doing it because she thought Chris was too wild. Yeah. No, she did. She never. Yeah. Can I run their Twitter?

Yeah. Yeah. We could get you. You want to help out? Everybody can help out. I have an embarrassingly low amount of Twitter followers, but I love it. Yeah. Okay. So Chris, interview interview him what would you ask him

You're the boss I just made you the boss of your own company called Franks and Beans I just don't feel like doing this today What do I ask you Let me ask Zach a question He says he doesn't feel like doing this Is that any different from any other fucking week Low grade fever

I haven't had low grade fever in a while. Yeah. I just. Yeah. So you want to come in here. I asked if you voted for Trump. What else do I want to know? What about his skills?

What is his skill set? Where do you see yourself in five years? Yeah. I hope to be like writing for TV shows and stuff. It's not going to happen. No. I'll be right. Five years now. I don't know. Yeah. No. I'll be right. Five years now.

I don't know. Yeah, listen. I'll finish college. Yeah, the truth of the situation, well, listen, you're a tall drink of water white kid from New Jersey, so you'll probably have- It's not your time. No, no. Well, yeah, it's not your time, but it's also like, you know, you can't stop a white that

looks like that. Yeah, you can't. He's just a white walker. You can try. You can try. He's going to find a way to take, yeah, like people will try to take a white like this down you just can't he's got too many connections yeah he's just bought you know what i mean he's six foot six foot five fucking white slender build kid yeah he's like a fucking uh like a knight yeah he looks like right he looks like a

division three forward yeah you yeah so you probably won't be stopped but yeah so i would say so five years you want to be a tv writer it's not gonna happen um do. Do you want to do stand up to or you one of those guys you like? I want to do that. I've been doing like open mics. Yeah. So well, 20 years old, you do an open mic. That's fine. Again, it's not your time.

Right. OK, you're not a transgender Eskimo. So nobody wants you. So so that's two, three. What else are we going to say? What else I have to say to you? You got good looking kids. You have a girlfriend or you gay kid. Zach't a straight single you're straight single wow okay

so that means undercover gay yeah um and then uh yeah what's your um what what's another question we can ask him does yannis make you angry when you look at him it's true what they say about the eyes yeah yeah close together right yeah yeah yeah you just want to cave my face in, right? Are you a German kid? No, half Irish, half Italian. Oh, half Irish, half Italian. Yeah, so you're a fucking... Yeah. That's like every New York white guy. That's what you call a borough trash mutt.

The borough trash mutt, but you're from New Jersey, so your parents got out of... Yeah, well, my mom's from Brooklyn. Wow. Yeah, and my dad grew up in Jersey. Which one's Irish? Which one's Italian? My dad's Irish, mom's Italian. Full Irish, full Italian? Yeah, yeah, yeah mom's from Brooklyn. Wow. Yeah, and my dad grew up in Jersey. Which one's Irish? Which one's Italian? My dad's Irish. Mom's Italian. Full Irish, full Italian?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice. That's fucking low-level white right there. Yeah. Those are two low-level whites, you know? So your mom, she's Italian. That's right. I'm Italian and Irish.

So your mom's a little loud and your dad just- Yeah, my mom's hardcore. Yeah, and your dad just disappears for a couple hours and comes back smelling like beer. Yeah. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah. Now, has your dad, was there a time or two where your mom might have got disciplined

a little bit for, it's just Irish Italian, you know what I mean? From New Jersey, it's just what it is. No, it never happened. Yeah. Okay.

Fortunately, I'm lucky. Yeah. Is your mom Sicilian? No, she's from North Italy. North Italy. Okay. She's a sophisticated Italian. Now, what do you want to do?

You want to turn on this podcast? Like, what do you want to, you want to get experience, but what is do you want to you want to get experience but what is that how do you get you want to hold the mitts for chrissy yeah because yeah you could be experienced for me if you could just go get me my creams for my herpes i mean like you guys said you just need uh help with audio video i could do that yeah you could do that but we have mike mush is doing even the mike emoji face is not here but we you if you want to help out we need the facebook twitter we need little videos, promos He needs to help Zach

We need little clips to put on Facebook Instagram, stuff like that I also think you guys could amp up the Facebook group Yeah, I don't even think about going on I just have too much on my plate to do any of that so you're going to just do it You can just help Zach with whatever he needs

Zach's in control. Yeah. Terrorists win. So, yeah, we do. Do you know anything about history? Did you run here? Yeah, I was actually. Yeah.

It's like 90 degrees. Kids dripping sweat. It's fucking hot in here. I know. I took the subway and shit. Yeah. I did. I actually went into college as a history major.

Yeah. And then I got kind of bored but now I'm minoring in history I like history like what period? I love the 60s yeah like the 1960s? actually we could use help with research too

that's actually where we need you because there's a lot of times where it's like we're trying to research stuff but I'm texting too so I'm doing a whole bunch, I just can't get it Chrissy take too much, also on occasion Chrissy needs a little help times where it's like we're trying to research stuff, but I'm texting too. So I'm doing a whole, but I just can't get it. Chrissy, take too much. Also, on occasion, Chrissy needs a little help because like, let's say he's got to pick up the baby. Yeah.

But also his baby's mama needs a knee to get replaced. Yeah. So you might be in two places at once. And can you hold mitts? Do you know how to hold mitts? Because sometimes I need to just get up and throw some hands. Yeah. I mean, I've never done it before.

Yeah. So if you could just hold the mitts because you're a tall drink of water. Yeah. Can I get a smile? Shout out Smithtown water because you're a tall drink of water yeah can you can i get smart i shut off smithtown water you're a tall drinker smithtown water yeah cuz so listen cuz how many uh how many baby strollers from the 99 cent store do you have i got about four baby strollers for the 98 cent store because i always leave the house and i'm carrying the baby and then i'm like i should put her in the stroller because your back starts hurting then you're like i left the stroll so can go to 99 cent store and buy another one. Yeah, because do you want to just start talking about history so we

can close this podcast and read the sponsors and the new Patreon members? I just want to go home. Yeah, well, you can't go home. I have such a long day. It's incredible. Long day. And then I have a long fucking week. So what's the big thing about Norway? Yeah. First of all, Sweden, those dirty fucking Swedes just let Hitler and the Nazis walk

right through their country to get to occupy Norway. And that's why still to this day, the Norwegians hate the Swedes because they were dirty little fucking pussies that were pro-Nazi sympathizers, most likely, but also just little bitches. Yeah. Yeah. Because make no mistake, the whole Swedish population are just big pussies. If you kiss any of them, you get a sore throat. It's what it is. Yeah.

I mean, you couldn't have said it better in a more Chrissy D way. That's exactly what it is. Also, Sweden liked to conquer people. Sweden had Finland, Sweden had Norway up until 1905. It was May 17, 1905, Norwegian Independence Day. Yeah, pretty much, whatever. So yeah, but during World War II, the Swedes, much like World War I,

wanted to be neutral. All Scandinavia wanted to be neutral, by the way. And it's just an interesting area because on the one side, you got the Soviet Union. And Sweden definitely does not want the Soviet Union encroaching on them. So they love that Finland's there to deal with the Soviet Union and keep them on that side. They didn't want to deal with Soviet Union. They didn't want to deal with communism. And then the other side, they got the Germans.

And these are two enemies, you know the Germans. And these are two enemies, and they're in between two enemies. They tried to stay neutral. They do import and export business big time with Britain and Germany. So they were kind of in the middle in a business way.

And the Swedes are just kind of neutral kids. They're neutral staircase kids. They're neutral staircase kids. If the they're neutral staircase kids. Yeah. Like if the Swedes were in your house, they would just be on the fifth stair. But I understand in a way I don't whatever. I don't know the sentiments of what was going on then. But I understand in a way to just be like, listen, Swedish population, just be like, look, man, life's short. I don't want to fucking deal with any of this shit.

Like, just do whatever you want. I get it where it's like because you're Greeks. You guys want to you know, you want to be deal with any of this shit. Like, just do whatever you want. I get it. Where it's like, because you're Greeks. You guys want to, you know, you want to be like, I stand for this. Nobody cares. Yeah. You're just going to die. And nobody cares. You're all forgotten.

It genuinely doesn't matter. It's amazing. That's how I feel. Well, then might as well live for something. If it doesn't matter, might as well. No, I'd rather just like whatever. I just want to get through every day. Just, you know what I mean?

I just don't care. Like, whatever you want to do. I genuinely don't care. Yeah. It's just what it is. Yeah, it's what it is. I yeah and the thing is here's the good thing here's the good thing about me now is i stand for nothing yeah and a lot of comedians can say what they want to me but can they step into the ring because they'll get knocked the fuck out so that's the overwhelming thing that is just always the thing in the back pocket is physical violence that I have over all of our peers.

Because you've only been training for months. Yeah, but I did connect with the right hand today on Sergio's head, and it just felt good, and I just, yeah, I just yelled something out, and it was nuts. That didn't happen for real. No, it didn't happen for real. Sergio's my best friend.

But I did connect with Sergio right in his fucking dome piece, and it felt good. He's got short arms, but he supposedly says he's got an impregnable difference. Yeah, no, he looks like a fire hydrant with buck teeth. Yeah, so. And yeah, you know, and the trainer on this thing, the trainer for the commercial is going to be female because I empower females. It's what it is. Yeah. So it's going to be.

What is it? It's a 30 second commercial. I don't fucking know at all. Just give me the money. That's what it is yeah so it's going to be it's you know what is it it's a is it a 30 second commercial i generally don't fucking know at all just give me the money that's what it is i don't know like that's the thing it's like managers and agents will always be like do you want to do this do you want to do that it's like the answer is just yes to everything i don't fucking care creatively at all what you fucking people do just give me the money i just don't care yeah well i just let's have a meeting about it so this is gonna live on social yeah whatever you want let's um yeah this is gonna be so sure we want a social component listen the phone call you know it's just like you know what i want to fucking do i just want to get money so i could

just get my kids mom to just leave me alone i just want to be left alone it is what it is yeah we got a lot going on today mount dew comedy central yeah people yeah what a good what a good bunch of people and it's culturally diverse which you fucking need you yeah yeah yeah it's great the guy in the back looks a little like where's wall the guy in the back is a great kid yeah but yeah we've worked together a lot and i've located and i've located him yeah he's a good fucking kid i like him a lot i like this whole crew is a nice crew that's a good crew yeah the crew in here though is a bad crew we got a bad crew is bad crew good crew yeah i just don't want to do this anymore so i mean you know what i mean like how many more minutes do we have to do this podcast where are we at i don't care

yeah you want to just end it we're 45 no we have to do some history yeah read out the fucking can you just read the patreon members i don't have it but what's your name mike brian brian i'm kidding no brian you read it i don't have him yeah he doesn't have oh sorry do we have him zach yeah hold on you want to hear zach read to see if he can read zach was never actually read the tattoos on your fingers did you remove the tattoos on his fingers no read what is it smoke right repeat right right smoke forget and then on the sides i have everything is temporary. I like that.

You guys want waters, by the way? You guys want water? Does anybody need water? Want a water? You sure you don't need a water? Shout out Smithtown Water. Shout out Smithtown Water Department, Philadelphia Reuter Department. Yeah.

I like this guy. He's got Stan Smiths on. Yeah. It's a good kid. Classic snicker. The thing is, this is such an inside podcast for our fans with the terms we use that when outside people come in, they're like, what are these people fucking talking about what are the characters these guys are playing what is smithtown water yeah and it's just like if you know you know if

you know you know that's where you should create an instagram page that is history hyenas lingo yeah you just post all your your inside jen ever since you married this jew guy you're thinking big business and we like it and And we like it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Operation Western Bonk was Operation Western Bonk, which is basically Hitler. Here's what Hitler fucking does.

Yeah. Is he takes on too much. He puts the Hitler's guy puts too much on his plate. It's actually a great point. Time and time again. And that's why he lost the war. Yeah.

Because he wanted to fucking invade Russia in the winter. Stupid. Yeah. Can't do it. You lost all your army. And then he wanted to fucking try to take on Norway and thinking he's just gonna move on and just take it one, two, three.

But he did it. It took two months because those Norwegians, those Scandis, those kids are born to fight their big, big, big, white wavy haired fucking kids that are dumb as shit and just want to protect their fucking icebergs. Because I know you're sweating like you're a Palestinian at an Israeli pinata party righti piñata party right now in the bathroom and you did some coke but you just made an actual excellent point because i know why did he want to do so much so

quick because he's chrissy take on too much hitler took on too much okay he's a small piece he did have a small piece but he's my fear watch your mouth on. You got to do the way loud and clear. Yeah, it's just a joke. It's just a joke. But honestly, Hitler takes on too much always. And then this is an Operation Westenberg. What was it called? You pronounce it because you're German. It's like, look, the language shouldn't exist

anymore. No, it's just like, why is why do people still walk around going vest and horse and hot? It just sounds stupid. Yeah. Just speak English. We want the German comedian from last week. Well, I went on a date with her.

The German comedian from last week was like, oh yeah, I wish the U S would just remove the basis from Germany. I'm like, well, you are probably, unfortunately you don't get to choose anymore. Cause you push too hard on the fucking boys.

And then our grandpas had to come in there and tell you who's fucking boss. You just had to get the cock slapped off your German little lips a few times. And now our bases are just going to stay for as long as we tell you they're going to fucking stay. Let's just be crystal clear, Germany. There's going to be American rubble souls made in Taiwan on the ground in Germany. It's just what it is. The Japanese wanted to drop bombs on us, and then the Germans got punched in the face for it. Deutschland, you're going to have a few Timbos on the concrete ground of Munich.

Yeah, the only one that could stay is Dirk Nowitzki. Everyone else got to go. Got to go, yeah. So what happened in the battle? It is what it is. What happened in that battle is 300,000 troops, French, British, and Norwegian Scandies, occupied Norway and fucking held off the German army, Luftwaffe and everybody, for about two months. What happened was, yeah, Britain was planning on invading because they all wanted to get control of that coastline, the sea,

and they wanted to control- They wanted that oil. They wanted the iron ore. Oh, I thought it was the oil. Norway has oil, but at this point we're dealing with the iron ore because that's what fueled the German machine. Oh yeah, because the Norwegians were dumb, stupid kids and didn't really have the money until they found that they were sitting on oil for their

whole existence. They eat oil and it's delicious. It tastes like carpaccio. Yeah, and now they're a rich country and they think that they're equals, but they'll get smacked in the fucking face too. They'll get smacked in a place and make no the only country i'm telling you right now the only country that the united states aka the boys should not pop off with is china i would not i would slip to the body and roll under china's jabs i don't want to get caught with a left hook by china no because when you go when you go for the stomach and you slip the jab

they're gonna hit you with a roundhouse kick yeah they going to hit me with a roundhouse kick. But everyone else can truly suck my dick, including Russia. Here's the deal with Norway right now. They do have a lot of oil that they discovered recently and they became rich. Nobody knows about it that they're one of the richest countries in the world. Maybe one of the two, three richest countries in the world. And that's because they're smart.

Because they know that we're out there watching America. Because as soon as Norway slips up and buys like a gold chain, like Middle East does. Yeah. We're showing up going Norway. We heard you motherfuckers need some freedom. Yeah. Yeah.

All the blonde bitches and salmon while you're at it. We're Omar from The Wire. Oh, I love salmon. We rob oil threes. Yeah, it's good for you. They also eat whales. Yeah. So, so basically.

So they were both planning on invading. And by the way, and we talked about this before, but just to mention, the reason why it's so fucking easy and only took two months is because fucking Sweden laid down their pussy little Swedish heads and just let the German army march through like. Yeah, they they did. They really did. They let them march through. They let supply be able to openly. If we're talking about history, just be able to see F.A. Double G.O.T.S. about the Swedes.

Well, you're the one that's got you're the one that's got corporate money here so that's why i didn't say it i spelled it like it's my daughter's listening to the podcast but it's just that sweden's gonna lay down their whole fucking army to let hitler walk through yeah then unfortunately for the rest of your existence that's what you are called yeah i mean we call you that anyway because you're from sweden yeah so yeah you yeah, you got to shout out to Smithtown Water Department. Shout out all the gay friends that listen to the podcast. And make no mistake, I feel like I can openly say that and nobody should get mad because we know the fucking truth. I like cruising for dick.

Yeah. And it's just what it is. I'm as straight as I want to be. If you give me one white wine and a Clarendon D, then you cocks in my mouth. It's what it is. Yeah. Or vodka sodas. Forget it.

Yeah. Vodka sodas. Forget it. And a lot of you pussy little beta males that fucking hover around me at the comedy clubs are only safe because I haven't had one more vodka soda. Yeah. The truth is, I let you pop off about whatever bullshit you're fake outrage about because I'm not that drunk.

The second I get one drunk, I'll knock your little beta head off and I'll put it in a gluten free fucking basket. Yeah. You are one weight conscious drink away from getting punched in the face. It's just what it is. By sorority sister Chrissy D. Yeah, it's what it is. I want to tuck my dick back and be a woman. Actually, you know, history

is often more nuanced than we thought because actually a lot of Swede actually joined and fought with the Allied forces, but a lot of them also joined and fought with the Nazis. Well, there's also they were truly neutral, but just to even, you know, volley that that point back which he's talked about many times this podcast there was a lot of dirty fucking americans that fought with the germans because fucking hitler and the nazis sold that master square garden in 1939 do you want to play weishang xing ping pong

with zach while the corporate money's here yeah no we'll save that for another episode yeah yeah we should have done that they should have done the other Comedy Central podcast where we're just talking about fun fucking comedy hits and throwing out sponsors to Colgate. Yeah. And I haven't heard it, but I assume you're. Well, I heard your reviews. Yeah. People that are listening. He's too aggressive.

Yeah. Anyway, so they both wanted it. The British were going to invade, but they were also trying to be morally conscious about it, being like, look, we don't want to invade Norway. You know what I mean? They're our boys. We're trying to get them on our side. Right. So Hitler preempted them, just invaded while they weren't expecting it, while the British weren't expecting it.

So after they invaded, British sent some troops. There were some skirmishes. Germans pretty much took Oslo and central central Norway no problem but there was a little resistance

up in the north in the north in the north beyond the wall they're beyond the wall yeah Jon Snow Jon Snow was up there Jon Snow was up there

yeah Jon Snow was up there and of course Arya she's a three foot millennial and she'll kill everybody with Tormund who Brienne of Tar should have banged out Tormund instead of fucking Jaime

because he got fucking killed. Yeah, I liked the last episode, but anyway, you got to be careful. Yeah, I fell asleep because- She's five foot three and she can kill men five times her size. Here's the thing. Here's all you need to know about Yanni P and Chrissy D. Last night we watched the Game of Thrones finale together. I fell asleep on my couch because it was all dialogue and love

stories while Yanni had a full-blown boner on my love sack because all I want is sex and war in a TV show. I'm a stupid man. Yeah. And I actually cried when about the start. This kid was crying. I thought I was dreaming.

He was literally crying on my love sack with a boner because of all the nice dialogue and game of thrones. What do you guys think of who became King? I liked it actually. Chris hated it. Yeah. My wife hated it too. Yeah.

I genuinely hated the whole thing, but so let's finish. Cause we only got five minutes. Yeah. So I'm running. I'm, I genuinely hated the whole thing. But so let's finish because we only got five minutes. Yeah. So I'm running. I'm literally out of gas and I have another 12 hours worth of this day. Yeah. And I'm out of gas right now.

Stop thinking about it. Just live in the moment. Be Buddhist. Yeah. Just pretend like you're throwing hands. All right. Fine. You're with the baby.

You're in a safe space. Okay. The baby's watching Peppa Pig. Baby's watching Peppa Pig. You're texting a toot. Yeah. And you got a nice cold German brew in your hand. Yeah, it's what it is.

Okay. Sports centers are in the background. You got your air conditioner blasted real high to German level necessity. I just took my baby's mama's mama to Banco Popular. Yeah. And we just got some spam for the baby. I'm not finished. I'm going to put you in your happy place.

Okay. You got yoga socks on. I got my yoga socks on. You got your yoga mat out. Okay. Right. You're texting a toot. I'm texting a toot.

Your baby's watching Peppa Pig. My baby's got Peppa Pig on. Yeah. You got Mad Dog on the love sack. Okay. Right. You're texting it too. I'm texting it too. Your baby's watching Peppa Pig. My baby's got Peppa Pig on. Yeah. You got Mad Dog on the love sack. Yeah. Right. And you, whenever you want to,

you can go to him about talking about who's the Game of Thrones spoiler plots. Right. Yeah. Yeah. You just found out that. Hey. You can't hear it because you don't have the headphones on. But he hit us with a,

hey, don't have Nutella. You got it. You on the kitchen counter. You got, you got a candle. You got a candle going. Yeah. Yeah. You got a, hey, Bert. Do I have Nutella? On the kitchen counter, you got a candle. You got a candle going? Yeah.

Yeah? You got a jar of Nutella? Yeah. Yeah? And I come out of the bathroom, right? Yeah. And I say, Chris, you want a waffle? And you go, yeah.

Yeah. So I go to the fridge. I go to the freezer. I pull out a couple of waffles. And I throw them in there. And guess what I got? What? I got not real syrup. I got Ridgewood syrup. Holy shit. Yeah. I got the fake Aunt Jemima syrup. Yeah. Throw them in there. And guess what I got? What? I got not real syrup.

I got Ridgewood syrup. Holy shit. Yeah. I got the fake Aunt Jemima syrup. Yeah. And I pour Nutella and it. Yeah. And some chocolate covered strawberries.

Yeah. Onto that fucking waffle. And I pass that plate to you. And the aroma hits your nose. And you eat it. And you start twinkling your toes in your yoga socks. And you get happy and relaxed. Thank you.

And the baby's happy. Does my father have my debit card? No. Oh, wow. This is a couple of minutes in your life where you've just switched to a new one and he hasn't figured out a way to get the new one. Yeah, because this kid Brian looks like a serial killer. Yeah, I don't know. You're going to have to give me a final verdict on whether we're going to employ him or not.

Yeah, he's got a gistain on his right sleeve. I don't know what's happening. Yeah, no, the kid ran verdict on whether we're going to. He's got a gist on his right sleeve. I don't know what's happening. Yeah, no, the kid ran here from New Jersey. All right. So let's wrap this up. In conclusion, Norway was actually the most heavily trooped by the Nazis area in all of Western Europe. Three hundred thousand Nazis. That's how important Norway was for them to have access to the coastline, the seas, so they can battle the Navy, launch

submarine strikes, and also control those port cities where the iron ore was exported out of where they could import it. And the reason why they needed those Norwegian cities is because in the winter months, the Swedish cities where they would normally export that iron ore, they would

freeze over. Yeah. Because there was a lot of white walkers. There was a lot of white walkers. There was a lot of white walkers. Okay, got it, got it, got it. All right. So that's basically why it was extremely important. And Winston Churchill was really pissed at the Swedes. He felt like the Swedes really rolled over for the Nazis.

Well, they did. I get why Winston Churchill was mad. He did, man. They continued to make money on both sides. They kind of played both sides. They did let them march through and continue to march through, through the Norwegian occupation. So that's why now it's kind of poetic justice for the Norwegians, because Norway is such a rich country.

Like I said, an oil rich country that actually Swedes like during their 20s, early 20s, go and work in Norway and make money in like the restaurant business. Yeah, they're like the Mexicans. They're like the Mexicans in Norway. Yeah. And they send money back to their family in Sweden. Yeah, Norway's a rich country because they got oil. And it's the only reason socialism works there. They're so wealthy.

Yeah. It's not going to work here, right? No. Tell AOC that. Yeah, she should listen. I'm a millennial. This kid hasn't smelled once since he's been here. Yeah, Brian, you have an actual, it's a haunting, disturbing energy you have about yourself.

It's actually it's uncomfortable. No, I hope you. Nah, he's a good kid. Nah, you're a nice kid. And we appreciate you. And what are you, 20 years old? Yeah. What are you outraged by?

Everything that AOC is against. You know what? I go to a liberal arts school, so they beat the capitalism out of you. Yeah, they beat the capitalism out of you, right? You've been taught that you're a bad person. Yeah. Do you use paper straws? No, fuck no.

You better. You know, I actually think you should use paper straws. Fucking, why are you killing sea turtles? How about just like take the cover off and drink it from the cup? Yeah, how about that? Yes, less wrinkles. Yeah. You know what? You know what we often forget though? We really do. What? And we'll cover more on this on our bonus. We'll cover more about Norway on our bonus episode because this was a fun one.

Oh yeah, go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys if you want to hear even more inside info about the Norwegian battle of 1940. Did you pull up our sponsors? Yeah, I texted him to you. Oh yeah. To both of us. Let's just read them real quick.

Let's read them. And I'll just say, look, the kid just walked in off the street and he's hanging out with two comedians. I like this kid of a podcast. He's a fan of, I'd be a little freaked out too.

Yeah. Well, at least brought. Yeah. I mean, that's, he got a free, that's a freaky response to get from me in like three minutes.

I was just like, just show up. Yeah. You probably thought you were talking to Chris. Cause you didn't expect that response. Right? Yeah. Yeah. response to get from me in like three minutes i was just like just show up yeah so you probably thought you were talking to chris because you didn't expect that response right yeah you expected me to ignore you like i do chris the teacher guess what it is real quick yeah go ahead you read the patreons let's see let's i want to hear okay i see if zach can read this is the first time zach's ever attempted to read live on air yeah so it's katie jenna santa litro yeah make a rap out of it while you do it

cory conchieri and then on the contrary yeah we have alex p the next one's gonna be wow corina ford yeah he had trouble with that one yeah that one hit me in the cord kyle j maloney yeah not Kyle J. Maloney. Yeah. Not phony. Amy DeCotch. Chris German Jr. Yeah. Billy Patron. Yeah. Can't leave him alone. Patrick Gilbert.

Scott Bullichitti. And Eric. Where's the siphon sounds? Because that was a great freestyle. Boom, boom, flex bomb. Yeah, there you go. And shout out to Patreon member Sam Asaf, who didn that was a great freestyle. Boom, boom, flex bomb. Yeah, there you go. And shout out to Patreon member Sam Asaf, who didn't get a shout out and wanted one. Oh, and we have a new.

You guys got to cap it because we have a new small business support. Which one? Lakeside Maple. All right, we'll cap it after that. All right. All right. Can I give a reason for everyone to join Patreon As someone who consumes the podcast So you know you do that dance Between Instagram, Facebook

Twitter, maybe Snapchat And you just go around and check your updates And the people you follow Patreon is another Version of that but it's all Of the inside stuff that you're not getting When you just see the post So it's the community of fans,

but it's also a way for you to have another thing to do and another app to click on. Right. I'm telling you, since she started dating Mr. Wiseman. Yeah. She is a scus,

scus, scus, scrooge. Our podcast is brought to you by nine street auto collision. They're out there on the Island. One 33 West Hills road, Huntington station, New York. Give them a call.

631-351-5300. That's not 100. It's 100 because we're out there on the island. They're a family business and they've been doing it for over 20 years. They do great body work and they give everyone a deal. Remember, they slice a little off the top. They work with all insurance companies and they do towing. They've been doing it

20 years. We love you guys. 9th Street Auto Collision out there in Huntington Station, Long Island. Vidura Rajpaka is a Sri Lankan comic based in Berlin. He hosts the Anything Goes podcast, which is pretty much just sitting down and talking shit about comedy. He put wit.

Talking shit about comedy, culture, and current events with different artists around the city. You can find all his dates, podcasts, episodes, and social media stuff on livefromthesandbox.com and you can also be found at vedora raj pasca on all social media you should know how to already spell that you fucking you should already know how to spell that you pieces of dog shit yeah um and then one more of course our fucking boy a healthy, family and cosmetic dentistry. A healthy, happy smile dot com at healthy smile.

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what the CBD cures. It's just gummies. It's edibles. It's fucking water. It's a whole bunch of about silver laboratories. Just tell us about what the CBD cures. Yeah, it's just gummies. It's edibles. It's fucking water. It's a whole bunch of great CBD shit. Just go to their website, which is what? They don't even have their website. CBDscripts.com CBDscripts.com and put in promo codes HIJENAS15 to get 15% off your total order.

That's what it is. And those are our sponsors. We're missing a few, but... Yeah, just send us your stuff if you want want to sponsor patreon.com slash Bay Ridge boys for more inside info on Norway. I'm going to go, you know, you're going to go to the sink and rub a lot of cold water on your face like it's a scene

in a movie. Yeah, I'm just fucking. Yeah, I may just go throw hands. Yeah. Jen, thank you for coming. How do you feel? You feel good? Yeah, it was great to have you come again. Yeah. You good? You want a croissant or something? Last week, a year ago that I came on. Was it a year? Yeah.

I got a Facebook memory. Yeah. Well, it was a year ago, but you've actually decreased in age three years. All right. We're just joking. We don't care what age you are. You're the best. We love you.

See you. ស្រូវាប់បានប់បានប់បានប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប Outro Music