History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 75 - Michelangelo was WILD!

Episode Date: June 16, 2019

In honor of Pride Month the Hyenas cover the artist Michelangelo! This artist was WILD! The greatest artist to ever live. The boys are looking for their own Medici family and discuss how all art needs funding! Shout out our Patreon members! Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

What's up, cuzzy wuzzies? You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys, History Hyenas, Bad. what's going on everybody yes this is the gayest fucking podcast in the universe because it's Pride Month. So let's get the gay out together. Yes. Happy Pride, everybody. I'm Chrissy in the closet, but I'm fucking out of the closet today. I just got I went on a website and I just bought a shirt. I'm going to post a picture of it. It's a shirt that says finish him.

And it's two guys blowing each other. It's just what it is. Yeah, it's just what it is. I'm gonna take a picture of it. Welcome to the History of Hyena's podcast. We're in here. It's raining. it is. Yeah, it's just what it is. I'm going to take a picture of it. Welcome to the History of Hyena's podcast. We're in here. It's raining. There's water dripping from the sky. There's too much fucking water coming from the clouds. Yonath is matted down

and infuriated and Zach's wearing a fucking shirt that I can't believe it's got a dream catcher on it. Yeah, there's too much. We got too much fucking water coming from the skies. Too much water coming from the skies. It was just a helicopter crash on 51st and 7th Avenue. God bless. I hope there's no injuries. A lot of 14 is on the

scene. Yeah, a lot of 14 is on the scene. To handle it, go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys to hear Sean Terry and to hear Patty Mulroney. Patty Mulroney, whatever. Listen, today is going to be a good episode. It's Gay Pride. It's June. You really feel it here in the West Village. You feel it right in your

ass in the West Village. And so it right in your ass in the West Village. Yes. And so we're going to talk about Michelangelo. Yes. Who, make no mistake, was a gay fucking kid that loved to paint. And listen, Michelangelo was a kid, a beautiful painter. But make no mistake, that kid behind closed doors was doing a little bit of spinning the wheel.

He spun the wheel a few times. Yes. That's what it is. In between his Medici commission sculptures, that kid took a few eggplants. Because the truth of the situation is, and I know it's not popular opinion, but if you're a man and there's nothing wrong with this, but if you're a man and you're a hairdresser or you're an artist or you're a nurse, you're just a gay guy. You just got a little bit of gay in you and that's okay. I was a pediatric physical therapist and they said the women, it's mostly a female job oriented job. And the women, when they first when I first got there, they're like, you have to be gay.

And I was like, I'm not gay. But now, 10 years later, guess what? They were right. Yeah, because they predicted the future. You just couldn't see it at the time because you had pushed it down. Yeah, I pushed it down. But now make no mistake. You're pulling it up because your buys are in. My buys are in and my father's diabetes is getting uncontrollable. So he's getting close and the gay's coming out. It's creeping out. Every time my dad's sugar goes up, I get a little bit closer to sucking a cock. Yeah.

It's what it is. It's just going to come up. But I've noticed that like the tries used to be strong because you were pushing it down. Yeah. But now that you're pulling it out. Yeah. You're letting the gay up. Your buys are starting to show a little bit.

Because make no mistake. And buy, yeah, pun intended. Pun intended. One day, make no mistake. I'm going to pull one right into my mouth. Yeah. You're letting the gay up. Your buys are starting to show a little bit. Cause make no mistake. Yeah. Pun intended. Pun intended. One day. Make no mistake. I'm going to pull one right into my mouth. Yeah. Cause we need an animator.

Please. Whoever you are out there. We know we got a few phone us. I need you to make the cartoon where Chris's uvula is getting hit by a dick. And it looks like a speed bag. It's what it is. Especially since you throw hands. We need it.

It's raining out. It's a beautiful day in Deutschland. It's what it is. Especially since you throw hands. We need it. It's raining out. It's a beautiful day in Deutschland. Should we just do this whole podcast in stereotypical gay voice in honor of the LGBTQ community?

Well, the thing is, yes, I want to say yes, but it's 2019. And there are a lot of straight men, straight white men that have wives and children that talk like this very proudly. Yeah. And they're not gay, but they just talk like this because they just want to be sensitive to people who are gay so they don't want to sound too aggressive and too aggro and too toxic so they just speak like this yeah they're like and their pussy and their wives pussies are dry as a bone absolutely like we're gonna go out fucking guys you want to get some girls tonight yeah fuck y'all let's go to the city and fucking get some pussy yeah it's what it is the thing is this friday here's the thing what Friday, here's the thing. What is it? Here's the thing. Are you going to crumble it or are you going to OCC?

I'm going to crumble it. Yeah. Okay. Let me fucking be crystal clear with you. My daughter goes to school in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. Okay. The heart of Brooklyn, a lot of 14. Yeah.

There's a lot of real guys out there. Yeah. But unfortunately, you have a few fucking betas trickling in. Yeah. And we got a thing on Friday called Donuts with Dad because it's going to be Father's day on sunday happy father's day to all the fathers out there shout out smithtown water shout out to tell water department happy father's day to anybody who's got a dick or it's just ever you know whether you have it we're born with it you gotta post up happy father's day um so one of the one of the dads on the thread that we have that we communicate with was like, oh, you know, donuts.

I know it's donuts with dad, but don't you think it's a little we shouldn't be giving our kids. We shouldn't be promoting donuts and sugar. Could we make it something else? Could we make it like a fruit? And I said, this is the moment I know and I'm certain of that. Crystal clear. Chrissy turns into steel pipe. Chrissy, here itissy. Here it comes.

Here it comes. Yeah. And I said, look, I I said, thing is, if you're a freak of a kid, right, because you're a fucking freak. Make no mistake. You're a fucking freak. If you're writing that shit on a public forum, you know, to the school, you're a fucking freakazoid.

OK, you're in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. OK, he's making you not feel comfy. One Brooklyn. Okay. He's making you not feel comfy. One feet. Yeah. He's making me not feel comfy. One feet. Okay. This isn't Portland, Oregon.

We got to make that a t-shirt. Mike, write it down. Comfy. One feet's got to be sure. Comfy. One feet. And the wheel. The thing is your kid.

I know that sugar is bad. I know it's the enemy. I listen. I know that sugar and white men are the enemy. I know those are the biggest problems that we have in the United States are sugar and straight white men. I'm aware. Well, let's be honest. If you are a black kid, that truly is your enemy.

Yeah. Yeah. Let's be honest. Yeah. If you're a black kid, just make no mistake. When by the time you die, you're probably going to be missing a foot or two. It's going to be by white. Yeah.

Why is it so low, Zach? Yeah. OK. Yeah. Yeah. Well, because what I'm saying is not wrong. Yeah. But it's just like, well, why? But why is why we both so echoey now? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Well, because what I'm saying is not wrong. Yeah. But it's just like, well, why, why is, why are we both so echoey now?

Yeah. I had to run it through the mic because I don't have that. Do you look, do you see shirt? I posted on history. Hyenas. I mean, look at his shirt. He's doing jujitsu now. I don't want to tussle with the kid. I don't want to tussle with the kid.

He's got a fucking head. He's got a box haircut. He looks like he's Jim Carrey and me, myself and Irene. But here's the thing about Zach and the people who listen all the hyenas out there know when he does a sound boy you can just tell being a producer is not his first career option yeah the kid can rap and this is his sixth priority yeah it's what it is yeah yeah but the kid did you go to a trade school did you go to devry where did you go i went to a frank sinatra school of the arts wow wow happy pride yeah you didn't have. You didn't have to,

you didn't have to write any papers at that school. No, it was just about, yeah, it was just about Kenya. You know, what do you want to twirl around and dance with? Yeah.

And the thing is, it's like, it's like, it's like, yeah, it's just like, you're really pissed me off that. Can we,

can we do fruit? It's like, listen, you and your kid want to eat orange slices. No fucking problem. Just do me a favor. Stay away from me and my daughter. Yeah.

You guys are going to have some fucking donuts. Yeah. And your daughter is going to be jumping off the walls because she's got ADD just like you. Yeah, it's what it is. Oh, and also want to shout out Mike Cannon and Nicole Cannon. Thank you so much for inviting us up to your pool party. My daughter had a good time in the water. Yeah, she had a good time in the water. My daughter loved being

in the water. And I just want to shout out my daughter because sometimes she listens to this podcast because now her grandpa, my father, a.k.a. Fred Flintstone listens and he gave me a talking to at the diner on Bridgeview Diner in Bay Ridge. He said he's like, he doesn't understand why he looks like Fred Flintstone. I'm like, just look in the mirror.

Just put on a cutoff t-shirt and look in the mirror. Yeah, so my family's listening now. So it's just a matter of time before we I legally can't do this because if Annie Alino, my mom, starts to listen to it, there's going to be a big problem. Yeah, we've realized that my dad is OK, So it's just a matter of time before we I legally can't do this because if my mom starts to listen to it, there's going to be a big problem. Yeah, we've realized that my dad is OK, but it's just yeah. Yeah, we're getting close. We're getting close

to get close. It's getting close to the end. We're at 70. What are we in the 70s now? Yeah, we may or may not make it to a hundo because my mother may just come in here and just it might be done because you've also said some things about Jesus Christ where she may be like, you're not allowed to hang out with yannis anymore we're really yeah this podcast is on the run yeah we're on the run you're listening to two kids on the run yeah and we

figured out that this podcast is also not here for a long time it's here for a good time it's what it is it fits the bill this podcast um we also want to say thank you to venetia our intern who's made it to a second week and she's doing good yeah absolutely i want her i don't want to say thank you to Venetia, our intern who's made it to his second week and she's doing good. Yeah, absolutely. I don't want to make her too comfortable yet because she's a millennial and she'll stop working. And make no mistake, I also realized that she also speaks like a gay male

from the 90s, but she's a woman and she's straight. And she's got that Upper West Side thing that I like where she'll say like old school words like oh my bad or like that's mad cool. Yeah, that's fucking mad cool. Upper West till I die. And then she'll say like old school words like, oh, my bad. Or like, that's mad cool. Yeah, that's fucking mad cool. Upper West till I die. Till I die. Fuck yeah. And then she goes to Greece and it's different. Yeah. Yeah. But I just want to say my baby

Delilah. Are you legally allowed to say her name? Oh, yeah. My little baby. You got a situation with the mother. Yeah, I got a situation with the mother, but that it's being it's being taken care of nicely. Thanks for the guy. It's banging her out. I really appreciate it because I got you giving me no more problems. And thank you because it's just what it is.

He's doing the Lord's work at this point. Yeah, I told my kid's mother, I said, listen, you know, the last couple of weeks have been great since this guy's been around. So don't fucking ruin it with this guy. I said, you got to stay. Whatever this guy needs, he'll be given. Okay, if you guys get into a fight, like talk to me. You can start texting me the two of you. I'm going to I'll tell you exactly what pushes the buttons and don't push them because cause make no mistake.

Since this guy's been in her life, I'm just banging toots on the love sack. And I got no worries. You got no worries. He's taking the heat off. The only worry I got is I got a little bit of a drip. That's because she's been so much rain. There's too much water coming from the sky. It's like God fucking has syphilis.

There's too much water. But just real quick, my daughter. Yeah, my daughter was the first one in the water. And because we got to pretend we got to hope not to turn into Sean Terry and Patty Mulroney. And close because I'm a homeowner now. I think about things differently. Trump 2020. Yeah, it's just what it is.

If you're not going to vote for him, it's probably because you're a little beta bitch. Because the truth is, he's the future. Hell, you got it, Zachary. You got it. Thank you. I was just kidding around. God, Zach's over there. He's writing bars where he's getting confused

by the letters on his fingers he doesn't understand but nobody was getting in the pool the adults weren't getting in the pool the kids weren't getting in the pool and everybody everybody's parents because really the truth is like you know I was there like we all brought the parents brought bathing suits but we really don't want to go in the pool with our kids like we just want to fucking sit and drink

around the pool we want our kids to like not go in the pool because it's a whole fucking thing life fast you got to watch them I mean you can't just leave your kid unintended in the pool so want our kids to like not go in the pool because the whole fucking thing life fast you got to watch them i mean you can't just leave your kid unattended in the pool so then i have to get out go in the pool so nobody wanted to everybody's the kid they were like oh do you want to go in the pool and the kids like no nobody else is in so i don't want to go in and then my daughter was just like i'm going to be the first one to go in and she's just a leader and then she went in and then i went in and then everybody came in and everybody was just like following her lead and i was like yeah I'm really proud of you babe that was German in her

yeah yeah no it was that was yeah definitely German that was not the Puerto Rican Puerto Rican like I first of all somebody needs to test this out I never be here I'm a little nervous about water put me back to sunset because it's scary to go across the river to New York City yeah you can do it but the Germans

just march forward just kill your superior get into water and kill anyone who's a little darker than you. Puerto Rican in her was when Mrs. Cannon gave her penny vodka she asked for ketchup. That was the Puerto Rican in her. That's a little Puerto Rican. They like to put ketchup on that shit.

Can I get a little ketchup for this too? A little something? Let me get a little red sauce. You got candules? You got red sauce or green sauce? I need to put the red sauce on that. Yeah. So. Also, can I get a little salt too? Yeah.

And we're gearing up for my baby's, my baby's mama's mama's wedding, which is going to be nice. It's going to be a nice thing. I think I'm going to get the invite. Yeah, because you're just. We're going to have it at a Mets game. You're just intertwined. It's just what it is. We're going to have it at a Mets game. You're just intertwined. It's just what it is.

It's a good party. They got $8 tickets and we're just going to have the reception at Citi Field. Yeah, 1 o'clock Sunday game. You're laughing, but it's just what's been floating around. They may just think of that. They may just get their vows

in the city over there at 10 a.m. and then they may just celebrate. We may just go to a Mets game. I just can't believe it's my life. My mother just doesn't understand what's happened to my life because make no mistake, she raised a white kid. Yeah. I mean, you're doing real good in show

business, but you are heavily, heavily intertwined in the Brooklyn Queens Peninsula. Yeah. Yep. Yep. And it's just, there's not a lot of guys doing as good as you that have lunch at diners in Staten Island and then go to, uh, what's, what's it called?

The baby party was in what, where your baby had a party. Yeah. There's not a lot of guys in show business having their baby's party at bounce you deep, deep in Chinatown, Brooklyn. Yeah. It's not a lot of people that show up to set with bags from C-Town. It's just what it is. Yeah.

Guys are, yeah, they're going to D'Agostino's and shit like that. But I'm just a kid. My whole life will always be deep in Brooklyn. Like you were at a wedding this weekend where Jerry Seinfeld was there. And then the next day you went somewhere deep in Forest Hills. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no. Yeah, I was at a wedding.

Shout out Colin Quinn, the beautiful Mr. And Mrs. Brand new Colin Quinn. Oh, man. Who was Seinfeld was there. Yeah, no. Yeah, I was at a wedding. Shout out Colin Quinn, the beautiful Mr. And Mrs. Brand new Colin Quinn. Oh, man. Who was Seinfeld was there. Tim Meadows. Schumer, of course. It was a fun wedding.

It was actually a really fun wedding. Colin Quinn was hilarious. Tom Papa was the reverend. He married them. He was hilarious. It was a beautiful thing. Wanda Sykes was there. It was great.

And then probably a lot of lower people, too, right? It's like probably a range of people, right? No, I was the youngest comedian. Yeah, that was great. And then probably a lot of lower people too, right? It's like probably a range of people, right? I was the youngest comedian that was there. It was me and Joe List were like equals and then Bobby Kelly, Jim Norton. My table was Bobby, Jim Norton,

myself, List, the owner, SD, Liz. Those are the comedy cellar crew. So did he have a fucking good wedding? Oh, Keith Robinson, of course. Yeah, it was great. Did he give did he have a fucking good wedding? Oh, Keith Robinson, of course. Yeah, it was great. Did he give a fucking Spanish fucking mental care? You know, fucking country

can't get along, you know, fucking left and fucking right and fucking I don't fucking know what's going on. I'm 60. I finally got fucking married for a second fucking heart attack. It's fucking what it is. It's fucking what it is. Yeah, fucking shit. I told you to get married, dummy. Yeah, but out of the side of his mouth. Yeah, way strong. He had a dummy. Yeah, Keith, yeah. But out of the side of his mouth. Yeah,

way strong. He had a stroke. It's what it is. He had a stroke, but he's still dancing and still is always, you'll never see that kid without a glass of red wine in his hand. He's got good energy. I like Keith Robinson. Yeah, that's good. Rachel Feinstein was there and her husband, Peter Brennan, shout out a lot of 14. Shout out a lot of 14.

Yeah, he's also the captain. He's a captain. captain yeah and he's sarge yeah i call anyone who's kept sarge sarge he's a captain and he and he has he has a food blog that nobody reads and stupid yeah but he's it he also listens to this podcast yeah but it's just you know i mean rachel knows we just all know i mean it's just you know it's just it's funny because he's like a funny kid from fucking book and he's a muscular diesel kid and he's a captain in the fdny and he can carry his body weight plus 20 yeah plus 20 and he just writes these food blogs and you know he gets real into it and guys in his firehouse must be like what what the fuck is captain brennan doing but here's the thing you don't know about captain brennan you don't know about a lot of firefighters

like sean terry ladder 14 patreon.com slash bay ridge boys they cook once a week it's your turn yeah so on sean terry when he does his solos, he always says what he's making that week on his day. And this week, they're doing homemade pizza. They're doing whole week because the guys are on a diet. Last week, it was tuna casserole. Yeah, well, that's like Pat Finnegan, a.k.a. Patty Fly Balls. He

started learning how to cook at the firehouse, and now he just bakes. So the kid will just whip up a bun cake. Yeah, that's what's funny about firefighters is they're tough guys, but they all know how to cook real good. Yeah, and the food is excellent. Cuz, I gotta say one thing about Instagram this weekend. Yes. You fucking set it on fire with your new

fucking suit. I couldn't keep my eyes off that thing. Shout out SRG Fashion, my good friend Giovanni Brusciani. That's his real name. Giovanni Brusciani. And check out SRG Fashion on Instagram. The kid gave me a nice suit and all I had to do was post it. So I appreciate all the nice comments about

the suit. I mean, I could not keep my eyes off that suit. Isn't that when you got the shoes, he wasn't crazy about the shoes but he said, don't worry about it. Yeah, Giovanni Brasciotti, I hit him up. I sent him a picture of the shoes I had. I said, do these shoes match the suit? He goes, the truth is, he goes, yeah, those shoes are okay.

They match the suit, but no one's going to be able to look at his shoes. They won't be able to take the eyes off the suit. He said, you go to that wedding barefoot, nobody's going to notice. That's what he said about his suit. The suit was so beautiful. It was well-fitted. Italian kids take a real pride in food and clothes. When you get a pair of shoes

that says made in Italy, those are good shoes yeah yeah he told me when i came in because when i came in i was you know i was wearing my my nike sweatpants and a sweatshirt and he got me into the dressing room quick he said you gotta get you know in my store now yeah so you can't look like that so let's just get in one of my suits yeah and then he asked me to go out the back and then he just delivered my suit to the back yeah yeah he didn't want me to walk through with the suit yeah you know You know, it's funny. It's like Italians take so much pride in what they look like and what they eat. It's a great thing. Yes. Italian fashion is number one. Italian food is number one. And here's if you're at a real

Italian restaurant and you're having a seafood pasta. Yeah. And you ask the waiter if he could bring you cheese. They're just not going to bring it to you. They're not going to do it. They just won't. They don't care about the tip. They won't let you. They say we're not on a model. Yeah. Don't eat a seafood. You don't eat pasta with cheese. Yeah. Yeah. No, they're number one. They're number one in food, clothes and racism and sometimes a little and fumes. Yeah. Yeah.

Sometimes. Yeah. Well, yeah. Maybe the guys, but the girls always smell great. Yeah. Italians number one in racism. I mean, number it's not even close how number one they are in racism. They call black Moulinon. You know what it means? Yeah. It's eggplant. It's eggplant, which number it's not even close how number one they are on racism. They call black moulinon. You know what it means? Yeah, it's eggplant. It means eggplant, which is it's fucked up, but you got it. It's a little funny. Yeah,

it's just a little. Should we cackle that out? Yeah, I mean, you just you hit it. Yeah, even me. I was just like, wow, but it's the truth. I mean, that's what they say. I mean, because I'm a kid. I will take a direct order from the furor. But even me, I was like, the thing is, they made the truth. I mean, that's what they say. You know me, because I'm a kid that will take a direct order from the Fuhrer. But even me, I was like...

The thing is, they made that up. You know, I'm not an Italian kid. Italian kids made that up. They call Moulinon what it means is eggplant. And the reason is because it's the shade of the eggplant. That's why they call him that, right? Yeah. I don't know the reason. You're the Italian kid. At least you were for the first six years of your comedy.

Yeah. Now it's beneficial for me to move away from that and do some different. Yeah. Um, yeah, that's what it means. But yeah, I mean,

do we need to tackle that out? Maybe. I mean, cause you got, do we need to tackle that? I think it's okay. You think it's okay. He says,

okay. Yeah. Cause I was explaining what they call them. Cause then it's an actual word. Yeah. Yeah. Venity is bringing structure to this podcast. And you're right.

Like we are all on our fucking p's and q's in here because you know she's just a powerful greek woman that's like a mother hen that's like listen this is what needs to happen yeah and i like that it'll be nice if like fucking yeah if we start coming in we start seeing that mike and and i just start dressing a little bit better every single time the last

piece of the puzzle that we need to just okay vanity is mrs. poppins mrs. poppins because mrs. poppins says it's not okay, then she's got to go. And it's just what it is. But I think Mrs. Pappas will approve. Yeah. And Mrs. Pappas has said, has no problem with it. And I haven't gotten a text

from Mrs. Pappas about the podcast in a week. So that's good. That's good news. Yeah. She said the last episode was really funny. And I guarantee you, because you know what Mike Dress is like now? Mike Dress is like a father who just got home. Yeah. She said the last episode was really funny and I guarantee you because you know what Mike dresses like now? Mike dresses like a father who just got home. Yeah. Just got home. You have to start to ring on

your podcast. I mean, it's every episode people have to hear these fucking dings. You're an old kid. You can't see and you can't hear. So just stop doing old man shit. Because you look good in that fucking suit too. Thank you. Now you look like you dropped a lot of weight. But yeah, the more weight you drop off, the more it does accentuate that you do have a football helmet head. It's what it is.

I do. Yeah. You're starting to be shaped like a lollipop. You tried to get angry at me this morning for bringing it up. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And I just reminded you, it's just true. You're a handsome kid, but you got an oversized head.

I think one of our fans said, he goes true you're a handsome kid but you got an oversized head s loque s i think one of our fans uh said uh he goes your 40 body 60 head and it's just what it is it's just what it is it's a funny comment yeah it's just what it's but you look fucking good and it was a it was a light blue don johnson miami vice shark skin cuz i was about to throw on the marisa hat and let you crack me open and clean me out yeah yeah because I um and you know what it was a nice night I um I wound up I found myself leaving that

wedding going back to Bay Ridge and find yourself in a guy's room finding myself in a guy's room but before that I went on 91st and 3rd to artichoke pizza and I had an artichoke slice and I sat on that bench right outside there and I had an artichoke slice by myself at 2 o'clock in the morning and a big gloop of artichoke slice and I sat on that bench right outside there and I had an artichoke slice by myself at two o'clock in the morning. And a big gloop of artichoke sauce fell right on my suit.

So now I have to go. So I have to go get that suit dry cleaned and give it back to Giovanni Bresciano. Yeah. Look at look at the suit. Yeah. What do you think? But I got a big head. Venetia, what do you think?

It's too big. No, you look great. Yeah. Venetia, don't don't say that to me. Yeah, because I haven't sent you any DMs but if you say that to me again I'm going to send a DM and you're going to get an honor tilt by your father yeah

you look amazing but you can definitely see he definitely doesn't have a small head yeah and it's funny that like all these positive comments but then there's a couple of people that they just have to say something negative they're like where's your belt they wanted me to have a belt on. And it's like, you know, Giovanni Bresciani told me that suit,

it doesn't matter if you wear a belt or not, people might be take the eyes off it. I could not take my eyes off that suit. Yeah. And the shoes don't look bad from here, but up close, they're not great shoes. They're not bad shoes. They're Kohan. That's a good reputable shoe company, right? Yeah. But, you know, he's right. I can't keep my eyes off the suit.

And the color of it too is so summer. It's fucking yeah. It's light too. I can't keep my eyes off the suit. And the color of it, too, is so summer. It's fucking, yeah. It's light, too. And he told me I could wear that suit jacket on an airplane. So you could put that on a pair of jeans and you wear that on an airplane. Wow. Yeah. Because he asked me, he said, when are you going to an airplane?

What are you doing? I said, I usually wear my Lululemon sweats because they're comfy, wumpy, and a boxing sweatshirt. And he kind of looked at me. He said, you don't have a nice sports coat for the airplane? And I said, no. And he goes, yeah. You know, like, what, you don't have a nice sports coat for the airplane. And I said, no. And he goes,

yeah, you know, like he's like, people know who you are now. You can't be sitting, you know, if he's like, I'm sure he's a business guy.

You can't sit up there, you know, with a sweatshirt on. You got, he said, he said, this suit's going to work. Why don't you wear this jacket on the airplane?

I like that. Yeah. That's what he said. Yeah. Yeah. He's just an Italian kid. He takes real pride in how he dresses and how he eats. Cause let's be,

let's be honest. Italian kids, like I said, food, fashion and art. Yeah. And art. Cause let's be, let's be honest. Italian kids, like I said, food, fashion and art. Yeah. And art. And that's what brings us to Michelangelo.

Who's, um, you know, he was just a kid. He was an Italian kid. Let's just be honest. He was the fucking gay cat. Was he openly gay?

No, he wasn't openly gay. That's the thing. But let's just, we know he was though. I mean, look, what's next to cat judging sculpting

yeah I mean he didn't sculpt women the kid loves sculpting guys and you like sculpting guys with little pieces shout out statue of David because I got to be honest that's how my piece looks when it's limp because I got it looks like a little mini pumpkin yeah what the thing yeah it does yeah it looks like yeah yeah my book

that's a funny yeah yeah yeah it's got a little pumpkin dick, but we do. We've we've said on the podcast that we have dads who have small pieces. I'm sorry, Dad. I hate. It's just what it is. We got a new list now. But it doesn't cause.

But that doesn't mean that I'm going gonna pump the brakes because i can't you can't i can't and he's gotta understand that that he created me yeah and yo he didn't pump the brakes since we cleaned out my mom's savings account and i'm not gonna pump them either it's just what it is yeah yeah i mean it's just what it is at this point it's just what it is yeah it's just what it is at this point it's just what it is if he starts going back and listening to the full catalog he's going to hear it anyway it's what it is

so we'll just deal with it he just got a quick cliff notes on what you've been saying the whole time it's what it is you just got it over with Michelangelo was born March 6 1475 in Caprizi, Italy. That's a gay year, a gay date, and a gay city.

So it's just what it is. If you're a kid who likes a Caprizi salad, you're just a gay kid. Yeah, it's a good appetizer, though. It's a refreshing appetizer. Yeah, but the thing is, you're not going to order a Caprizi salad with the boys. No, it's not going to happen. That's something that you do with your wife or when you're trying to go undercover when you're on Grindr behind your wife's back. Because I feel like you're going to get a caprese. We're becoming

too much like Sean Terry and all right, let's scale it back. But it's just too fun. That's the problem. Yeah. But if you don't think Michelangelo painted his asshole a little bit. Yeah. I mean, here's the thing. I mean, it was different being gay back then, though. Kind of anything went right back then.

No, I don't know. I don't know. No, it was like there was I think even in ancient Greece where it was like part of the culture, there was still a lot of people just like today who would be like, you know, call you a fag or whatever. Right. Gay bash. It wasn't everyone who was on board with it. And I think this time it was even worse. I don't think you could just be openly gay. In fact, his nephew released his poems,

his sonnets in a book, and they were so gay, the sonnets, that he changed the pronouns to women because that's how much it sounded like he wanted to bang dudes out. He had one, it's disputed whether

it was a lover or not, nobody knows, but his name was T Tomaso Cavalieri. And listen to this guy. Oh, who's this? This guy looks Franks and beans. Holy shit. We got to post this guy. Yeah, we're going to post this guy.

I mean, this guy. Yeah, this guy looks real. I mean, yeah. Let's just hear from this guy. 484 years ago today, it's a great love of Michelangelo's life. I've wrote him a love poem that would rival any of any straight couple. Hello there.

I'm Bruce Tedder. And you're watching today in LGBT history. Can you just pause it for a second? Now, this is the type of guy. He doesn't just jerk off to free porn on the internet. Yeah. He's one of those guys that goes to the site and pays.

Yes. To follow a specific male porn star. A hundred percent. Yeah. A hundred thousand percent. Yeah. He goes into those porn site like super chats and hits the bean. Yeah.

And just in his room, there's just a few hard, dirty socks. Yeah. It's just what it is. It's what it is. Go. Yeah. Go. Today in LGBT, no matter what the subject historians don't agree on very much.

That's especially true when it comes to Michelangelo's sexuality. But many of his writings and drawings and paintings. Can you pause for a second? He's doing this talk with a butt plug in. Oh, by the way, Pat Finnegan, Patty Fly Balls is FaceTiming me. Should we just get it on the podcast right now? Don't tell me. We are the history

what's up cuz what's up what's going on fucking drenched fucking drenched out here right you got your full FDNY suit on I'm leaving medicals right now

you're leaving the medical why'd you have to go into the medical? You're taking a yearly medical. Yeah, yearly medical, yeah. What are you doing? No, nothing. I was about to start my podcast with Hyenas. What do you want to do?

Oh, what's going on? This game's getting canceled, no? I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, right? Yanks no? I don't know. Who the fuck knows? Yeah, right? Yanks match. You don't know.

I mean, what do you want to do? You want to hang either way? Well, I mean, if you've got tickets, you can be like, nah, fuck it. No, I mean, I got the tickets. The ticket ladies got me the tickets, but it's up to you. What do you want? Are you drinking already?

I'm not drinking. I'm in uniform. Oh, you're in uniform, yeah. I don't fucking know. Oh. No, I said I don't know. I thought maybe you're in uniform. Yeah. I don't fucking know. No, I said, I don't know. I thought maybe you were drinking already. All right. So once, let me finish this podcast and we'll, and we'll make a decision. Are you, what time are you at work? I'm done. I'm going home right now.

Are you going to go home? All right. So I'll text you. All right. All right. Cause yo, and by the way, I got the sponsor for the podcast. I got them. They got the Blue Chews. The Blue Chews are going to be coming. Let's go. Fuck yeah, dude.

You're going to be hard all summer. Can't wait. Yeah. Test them out. Yeah, test them out. Test them out early. Yeah. All right, cuz.

Later. Yeah, sorry. That was Patty Flight Bowls from Ladder 14. Yeah, I mean, he sounds exactly like our characters. Yeah, I mean, that's just how he is. Yeah. I mean, he's excited because my other podcast, Standing Up With Chris DiStefano, Blue Chews, you know, Viagra's

are going to be the new sponsor. He likes those. Yeah, he told me, he said, I sent him a joke and he called me up dead serious. He said, you got to get me a box of those. I need those for summer. Because he gets so drunk, his dick doesn't work. So he said, you know, he needs he needs he needs blue juice. So we got him.

Yeah, we got him for me. Got a whole show. I got like I got about 80 of them coming and it's just going to give him a patty fly balls. That's what it is. He'll sell some of them on the black market. Yeah. So let's let's get back to this to this. Talking about homosexual overtones.

There were accusations in his life and well after up to the present day. But it was never a title that Michelangelo really embraced. But then again, why are titles so important anyway?

I guess it's human nature to try to put each other in boxes. To file each other away as stereotypes. But that's not an accurate way to run. If you're a guy that has bangs, you got a big problem. You got another thing coming if you don't think that you're a little Franks and Beans. Yeah, I mean, you can't have bangs.

You either got to shave your head right now or lose the bangs. Yeah, I mean, but this kid just looks like he wandered out of a Dungeons and Dragons tournament. Oh yeah, he's doing this. He has no pants on in this video. For sure. No chance this kid has pants on. If you don't think this kid wears tighty-whities every day, white, and they got streaks in them, you've got another thing coming.

If you don't think that 90% of this kid's year he doesn't have an active rash, you've got another thing coming. You don't think that this kid currently still sleeps in the room that he grew up in? You've got another thing coming. You don't think this kid's came in his humidifier once or twice? You got another thing coming. You don't think this kid eats at Subway three times a week and they don't know him by name and he doesn't wear white New Balance with white sports socks?

You got another thing coming. Oh, yes, he does. Yeah. All right, let's finish it. Okay. People. We're all more than titles. Every single one of us are a lot more complicated than that. Yeah, things are complicated. But here's what we do know about Michelangelo.

What? He and Tommaso de Cavalieri, apologize for my Italian pronunciation there. Don't fuck. They were clearly in love. Over the decades, Michelangelo created tons of artwork. His voice sounds a little dry. Somebody's got to get this Franks and Beans kettle of water.

Works dedicated to him. One of my favorite of his sonnets dedicated to Cavalieri says that love is not always a harsh and deadly sin. Unless it's man on man, right? Happy pride. Happy pride. I'm just kidding.

happy pride happy pride i'm just kidding all right go there he was 34 years younger than michelangelo clearly overturned his affections on august 2nd of 1533 he wrote to michelangelo saying i flee from evil deeds and wish to flee them for i cannot make love with anyone but you okay let's pause it. The kid wanted to bang out a little bit. He's a gay kid. He's a gay kid. He said he wants to make love with anyone but this kid, Thomas. Exactly. So this is one of the sonnets that his

nephew, when he published his sonnet, he changed. He made all these poems a subject female. But it's that line right there, because it's not a fact. Nobody knows for sure if he was gay, but look. He liked to sculpt. He liked to sculpt men and they looked hot. They looked hot. He had no wife. He had no kids and he

always hung out with this kid for decades. This kid was actually at his funeral. He was by his side the whole time and this was the kid he loved. So he was a gay kid. And he also went with his full first name, which according to my father, Tony D. A.K. Fred Flintstone, if you go with your full first name, Michelangelo, Stephen, you know, a.k.a. Fred Flintstone, if you go with your full first name, Michelangelo, Stephen,

Jonathan, it means you're a gay kid. If you would have went as Mike, it's a different thing. It's a pretty foolproof theory. That's what he thinks. Yeah, if any guy, if you introduce yourself as Stephen, he'd be like, this guy sucks cock. Yeah, I'm trying to think, Mateo. How would you shorten that? You'd be like, Matt.

Four letters are under, like if it's John or Joe or something like that, then it's no problem. But if you're over a few letters like you yannis he's like you know it's cultural he doesn't know what to make of it yeah but you know yeah like if if if mike mush was michael mush he'd be like yeah yeah what's the easy gay guy he's a word the guy mush on probably his gay kid his name's michael yeah so your father probably everyone has one greek friend they call the greek right yeah oh yeah yeah it's like because i had a friend demetrius the greek the greek yeah yeah you would just call him d the greek d the greek yeah all right let's finish this up let's finish this

up with this fucking finocchio pretty sweet despite michelangelo's even though finocchio finocchio is a food i was just kidding but like you could say that but it's just a food that that's on finocchio is the thing that cleanses the palate after a nice meal. Yeah. Or before a nice meal. That Wei Shang Jing is so low, it sounds like you're pressing the button downstairs. Yeah. Thank you.

Make no mistake. This is the Happy Pride episode. We need that button loud and clear. Loud and clear. I'm going to say some things. Crystal, crystal clear. Yeah. Homosexual nature.

Yeah. Bet he was. He was one of the most celebrated artists of not only his lifetime but in history yeah true he worked for a total of nine catholic popes yeah and designed what's probably the most important christian church in the world yeah st peter's basilica in rome yeah he actually designed that michelangelo died in 1564 yeah his devoted lover was by his side. Yeah.

Now, unfortunately, we don't know much about what happens to Cavalieri after this point. I know. Their relationship remains one that we can learn from even today. The love between these two men didn't fit neatly into any box. Yeah. As is so often the case. Thank you, Zachary. Thank you, Zachary. often the case thank you zachary thank you zachary now historians will try to whitewash or worse to even demonize their relationship

but those arguments just aren't fair to the memories of these people love is love and we need to stop trying to put each other into neat boxes yeah that fit our personal narratives yeah i know thanks for watching today in lgbt history if you learned something give us a thumbs up subscribe for new videos like this okay now thanks so much here's what the internet has done did you guys learn no absolutely thumbs up it? Did you guys learn? No, absolutely thumbs up it. I thought it was well, yeah, absolutely. Now here's the thing though. I mean, you got to understand what the internet has done is put a lot of kids in front of the camera who don't belong in front of the camera. Yeah, that kid, yeah. This is the only time in history where that kid has a shot. Yeah. I mean, he's got his own show. I mean, he just made his own show, but make no mistake, that kid doesn't have in front of the camera face.

Yeah. his own show, but make no mistake, that kid doesn't have in front of the camera face. But he's a nice kid and that was really good and calming and I agree with 100% of what he said in his message. Because the truth is, I don't know why any... I posted a picture of myself in front of a

thing I saw on Friday down in the West Village that said mom, mom, I'm gay. And I posted a picture of me in front of it. And I got all these messages from gay people being like, thank you for being an ally. Thank you for being an ally. It's like the fact that people want

to hurt gay people, it's just beyond my comprehension why you would want there's what do gay people do? They control the population. Yeah, fucking fantastic. Yeah, it's a great thing. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for your service. Yeah. Fucking fantastic. It's a great thing they do. Thank you for your service. Absolutely. Thank you. Because, you know, some of these kids, like, I'd rather

have fucking gay guys running around than some of these children that, you know, are just a little annoying and not... At the beach a lot. Yeah. I just, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Beach goers. Yeah, the beach goers. Yeah. You know, some of these kids washing off from the fire

here's the thing yeah here's the thing we also can't act like listen if you go to a neighborhood and you see a lesbian couple walking around and it's a dangerous neighborhood firehouse in that neighborhood that neighborhood's about to get fucking cute lesbians are like the marines

of gentrification yep they're in fucking cued lesbians are like the marines of gentrification they're in there first tough lesbians like Park Slope we started seeing lesbians walk around and that's when you're supposed to buy a house because that neighborhood's gonna flip gay people make shit look nice our gay peers I mean Mateo Lane the creativity

the vision that the talent that that kid has off the charts Tim Dillon a totally different kind of gay yeah he's like a straight gay guy he's a straight gay guy but still his mind the way it works like to lose gay people is to lose like the most creative people we have so Tim Dillon is the kind of guy who wants to fuck the shit out of Matteo 100%

right yeah but he never can he never can what happens if Tim Dillon yeah if Rogan if one day decides to step away from Tim Dillon's career Tim Dillon's gonna be like this kid making Michelangelo videos. It's just what it is. It's just what it is. Yeah.

And we'll post the video of the kid on our, we'll post it on patreon.com slash Bay Ridge boys. People who have the video saw it. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you're watching live, you can see it.

Yeah. You can see it. How do they watch it live again? Oh, they pay 10 bucks in their Patreon. Oh yeah. That's right. Yeah. Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge boys. If you want, not live, but if you want, it. How do they watch it live again? They pay $10 in their Patreon. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, patreon.com slash play Ridge Boys. If you want, not live, but if

you want, is there a way to watch this live? Yes. Can we do a live stream? We can. Wow. We're about to get screwed in even further. Yeah, we're going to end up doing that. So Michelangelo was a kid. Obviously one of the most famous people. Florence

was where he stomped around, which I've been to the duomo is beautiful florence is beautiful on a level that like if you're an american you don't experience much like where do you go to get beauty in america what the grand canyon fuck that you're gonna see the duomo you're gonna see the fucking david you're gonna see beautiful cute italian shit yeah well i think like yeah because that's a net the grand can's like a natural beauty to see like what men what humans have created yeah i think italy is number one you got to be also a man to enjoy italian cities because if you're a woman you just get grabbed yeah they just grab you yeah especially if you're a blonde they just like yeah they just like they grab yeah i have a problem with that, they just like, they grab. Yeah, I have a problem with that, you know,

just like grabbing like random women, but if it's your wife, it's your property. Like you were telling me before. Tell me your theory before about what you think would solve a lot of problems. It's kind of against capitalism is what you're saying. Yeah, I think that the state... Yeah, I think the state getting involved.

Yeah. I think the state is getting a little involved too much and i think it's because of direct result because it's the only way to keep capitalism alive i think for example if i'm driving without a seat belt i should not get a ticket for that because i'm not endangering no one but myself so don't get involved with giving me a ticket you're just trying to make money for the state if i'm drinking or texting then yes because i'm putting other people at risk. Fine. Also, if you marry someone and you have a family with them, then whatever if you want to hit your wife,

you want to solve the situation with the mother. Yeah. Then the state shouldn't get involved because you know what happens when a man marries a woman that, you know, I know there's all these like deltos pot, but the real legal meaning of it is you become my property. So it's just obviously i'm kidding but i truly believe that the state shouldn't be involved on

family matters as they are yeah it's like i know there's a lot we have to protect people but for most of for most of um society like in the 1600s the state was unheard of for the state to get involved in a in a dispute between a husband and a wife and their children. It's like if you kill somebody, if you grab a person in public. Yeah, because now it's like we're freestanding citizens. But like once once I go behind closed doors, whatever's going to happen is going to happen. Yeah. What we're going to do is we're going to we're going to edit this chunk out and just put in the front.

This is Patrick Mulroney. Yeah. Because. Yeah. Yeah. You don't want that to be a real opinion. Yeah. I was just kidding is Patrick Mulrooney. Yeah. Because yeah. You don't want that to be a real opinion. Yeah, I was just kidding. You were just kidding. Way Sean Sheehan. I'm just kidding. I know the line's starting to get a little blurred from when I'm kidding

and when I'm not and I'm starting to become Patrick Mulrooney but I'm going to do better. You know, here's the thing. I haven't had any salmon yet today. Yeah, you need some Omega 3s. I need some Omega 3s, guys. Yeah, I need some fishy swimming backwards. But here's the problem. You say you only hurt yourself when you don't put your seatbelt on,

but actually there is a selfish reason, and the state is acting in the best interest of all of us because if you don't put your seatbelt on, a lot more people end up going through the healthcare system, and it taxes the healthcare system. We all have to pay that. So these safety precautions like don't buy cigarettes, all those things on

the side of the box, it's better for everyone because we all got to chip in for these healthcare costs. Especially as Lynn, especially for the poor people who can't afford it, the taxpayers have to pay. It's really the middle class who gets fucked because the rich can afford it, the poor get it paid for, and it's really the middle class who gets fucked. Yeah. Because the rich can afford it. The poor get it paid for.

And it's really the middle class. The middle class got to work to support both. The middle class got to work and just scream a few racial epithets in the shower. It's like, what was that, mom? Never mind, Christopher. There's a lean cuisine in the freezer. Yeah. But that's not what it sounded like, mom.

Yeah. It sounded like what? I heard something. Welfare. Yeah. No, I was talking about the waifus that are in the like, mom. It sounded like I heard something welfare. No, I was talking about the wafers that were in the refrigerator, Christopher. Yeah, the community wafers that Bill left them here.

You heard a couple of muffled screams in the shower, right? It was, you know, especially like a hot, hot day, like an August day when my mother had to get up and get on that train. You know, and then some other people were benefiting from some things that she was working for. There was just, it was just, you know, what's patient I say

is I think there was a couple of times in August where my mother had a brew before she went to work. I think she just pounded one down. That was her breakfast was a Sam Adams. And then we just got on the M train and we just dealt with it. Yeah. I mean, my whole goal is to just make sure that I stay away from your cousin at the same time as by I'm standing closer to a window.

Yeah. Yeah. She'll throw you out the window. She'll throw people. Cackle all the way here. And just the are just gonna have to wonder what it was we're back we're back yeah ready to go um yeah so michael angela what else we got he was born in caprese he was and then you kid was an artist yeah the mother died early the mother died early the mother he had the father's situation the mother the mother died early she which i think she drank herself to death yeah um and uh And then he would go on to create

the biggest thing is the Sistine Chapel. Yeah. He was raised by a wet. Let's be honest. A lot of my friends think it's the Sistine Chapel. It's the Sistine Chapel. So they think there's 15 other ones. So that's there's no there's no mistake. The Sistine Chapel. Yeah. Paddy Fly Balls

Debo Worm. My boys like that. They think there's 15 other ones and he did the 16th. Fuck, Chris, you're going to fucking, you're going to 16. Me and Deebo will be over at the 12th and 13th. We're going to go 12th. We're going to go in order. We want to see him in order. We want to see him in order. So we're going to start at 1. These guys start at 16. You're a fucking idiot.

Yeah, yeah. His mom got sick. So he was raised by a wet nurse. Well, yeah, of course that's what happens when you give birth to a gay son. Where's Longshin? Yeah. Obviously, we're just kidding along with big supporters of the gays.

I'm doing a character bit. Yeah, he's doing a character bit. No, everybody knows. You actually hang out with gay kids. I love gay. I only have a gay brother no no we're always fighting you punch him right in the stomach yeah

and then you yell this isn't right so what was it stone masons it was a stone wall let's call gay stone walls yeah he was a the wet nurse's husband was a stonecutter. And so he said later on in his life

that that's what probably encouraged him to be a sculptor because he didn't want to be remembered as a painter. Yeah. He wanted to be remembered as a sculptor. He thought painting was gay. Michelangelo did. Yeah, he really thought it was gay and he hated when people referred to him as a painter. That's why he reluctantly

painted the Sistine Chapel. Right. It was, I think he did sculptures for like 12 popes or whatever the hell it was. A lot of popes. But he one of the popes asked him to carve his mausoleum, his tomb. Yeah. Well, his most famous work is St. Peter's Basilica.

Yeah, well, he designed that. I think he was an architect behind that, which is crazy. Yeah, I don't think he actually built that. He. Well, he designed that. I think he was an architect behind that, which is crazy. Yeah. I don't think he actually built that. He was a Renaissance man. Oh, didn't he also have an original version of a plane in like the 1600s?

No, that was, that was Leonardo da Vinci. Fucking close enough. Yeah. They lived at the same time. Leonardo da Vinci was a little older. They actually didn't like each other.

They, they were rivals. They were really competitive with each other. Yeah. Yeah. But, um, um, He did do

the Pieta, which is gorgeous. I've seen it in person. I've been to Florence. Obviously, the David. Everyone says, David's got really big hands. The reason was because the David was initially supposed to be high up over the city.

They wanted the Medici family and all the politicians at that time, the powerful people wanted a bunch of big biblical characters all around the city, but they realized how hard it was to lift David up. So they just canceled all the rest of them and, and just do the David. And because it was so beautiful and the detail was so great,

they decided to have it lower. So people could see all the details. Where is it right now? So it's in Florence. They're just in Florence. It's just in Florence in the museum. So it's behind, you know, you can't even see it. It's so the mob of people that go to see it, but it's really big.

And there it is. And he's got a tiny piece. But you know what? Mediterranean kids were gross. He's got a big head too. He does have a big head, but they made him. Michelangelo made those proportions, the big head and the big hands, because this sculpture was initially meant to be up high.

You're supposed to be looking up at it. Yeah. But his piece still stayed small. His piece stayed small and he gave him pubes. So the kid had fumes. Yeah. I mean, they couldn't manscape back then. Everybody had fumes.

Yeah. And he had big hands. Who knows? Big hands, you know? Yeah. Maybe that could be, maybe one of them fucking had big hands. Maybe that's his fantasy. Yeah. And maybe he was a grower, you know? Yeah. Maybe that could be, maybe one of them fucking had big hands. Maybe that's his fantasy. Yeah.

And maybe he was a grower, you know? Maybe when you first put the piece in the mouth, it felt like you were doing a little bit of picking a blanket, but then it grew up. Now, let me ask you a question. As you're looking at the statue. Am I turned on? Absolutely. But scroll down.

Yeah. We got, there's only one thing with Yanni. The feet. Let's take a look at the feet. What do you think of the feet? Can we zoom in on the feet? Because that's the only thing that, that's Yanni's only thing is you gotta have, you can't have jacked up feet. He's not going to go down there. Yeah. I'm not going to crack you open and clean you out. What do you think of the feet? Can we zoom in on the feet? Because that's the only thing that's Yanni's only thing is you can't have jacked up feet. He's not going to go down there. Yeah, I'm not going to crack you

open and clean you out. What do you think of the feet? Did he do a nice job on the feet? Let's see. Nice feet. Kid's got nice feet. He's got long toes, though. So if I could press a button and make David come to life, you put that foot right in your mouth? I put it right in my mouth. Yeah. Cuz, would you bang him out? Would you crack open and clean out David? Yeah, I'd spin the wheel with David.

Tucka, tucka, tucka, tucka, tucka, tucka, cute! Yeah, yeah. out David? Yeah, I'd spin the wheel with David. Tuck, tuck, tuck, tuck, tuck, tuck, tuck, tuck, tuck, tuck. Cute! Yeah. Sometimes you gotta spin the wheel and make no mistake as life goes on, I'm spinning the wheel more and more. You are, you are. Last night I had a nice glass of Pinot Grigio. Yeah. I had a friend over. And that the mother doesn't

know about. Yeah. And it was just a good time. It was a nice time, you know? Let's just be honest. You live life like Magic Johnson did. Yeah. And it was just a good time. It was a nice time, you know? Let's just be honest. You live life like Magic Johnson did. And if you don't think that you're going to end up getting bored with women and permanently move and buy a condo in Houston,

you got another thing coming. You're just going to be a resident of fucking Texas. Yeah, it's just what it is. Because you're just going to get bored with women, cuz. Yeah. They're too easy for you. The same thing happened to Magic Johnson, and that's why he's got AIDS. It's what it is. Yeah.

Yeah, life with AIDS. Happy pride. So Michelangelo was... He was obviously a gifted, talented guy. To be able to do this stuff, like my friend Jesse Scatoro can do, sculpt and paint. You're just born. I could not paint you a Smurf. I can't draw you a Smurf. Everything I draw looks like a stick figure. This, he carved that out of marble with a chisel. He took a block of marble and made that look like that. Like, how do you even begin to comprehend how to do that is unbelievable. But anyway, the

Medici family was, they were bankers and they were like the most powerful family. This was during the Renaissance in Florence. They controlled Florence and they commissioned him early on. Medici family, like he started working for the Medici's like 17. Then he started working. I became famous.

The Pieta, it was like his first big sculpture and it made him absolutely famous. The Piazza, it was like his first big sculpture, and it made him absolutely famous. The Piazza. There it is. That is. And I think it's the Piazza. I think it means pity, right? In English.

Does it? And it's the Virgin Mary who you shouldn't be making your fucking cross right now. Yeah. It's a Virgin Mary, and there's a dead Jesus. Yeah, it's brutal. But it's an absolute beautiful, beautiful sculpture. And from there, he got famous. Then he was asked to create

the tomb for the Pope. He went to Rome and painted the Sistine Chapel reluctantly because he didn't want to be a painter. Plus, nobody wanted to do that job because you have to lay on your back and do it. It was wild. The way he painted that is wild on his back on this huge scaffolding. And it's not like he had helpers. He painted every detail of it. Yeah, right. It's wild. The way he painted that is wild on his back on this huge scaffolding.

And it's not like he had helpers. He painted every detail of it. He painted that shit himself. Yeah, you can't, if you're a painter you can't own a paint company. You have to do it. You're the one that has the art to do it. It's crazy, dude. The Pieta, he did the Pieta, that sculpture, which is I think a six

feet by six feet block of marble. He did that in a year, which is crazy. And six feet by six feet block of marble. He did that in a year, which is crazy. And I think he did that in his early 20s. Have you ever seen this stuff? I've seen it. I've seen the Pieta. I haven't seen the David, but I have seen the Pieta. It's all in Florence. Yeah, and go to his

Moses. Okay, so some of his work is in Florence, some is in Rome. Yeah, this is in Rome. Have you seen the Venetia? Yeah. You've been there. You've been able to there a couple of times. He's like one of is in Rome. Yeah, this is in Rome. Have you seen the Venetia? Yeah. You've been there. You've been able to. I've been there a couple of times. He's like one of my favorite artists. Yeah, because you're not going to ever date a girl who's been seen the Piazza Piazza,

who's seen any of Michelangelo's work in person. That's just not your demo. That's not what it is. You ever been down to Jersey Shore? Once a girl knows a little bit about art history it's just that's not your demo yeah I'd like to take you to Rome yeah

you want to go to Breezy Point with me? yeah I'm going to Breezy Point Rockaway so it took him two years you said? it took him two years and he became very famous because of the movement that you know you can see and I thought it was a year I think it took about two alright now me and you

are going to have a fucking argument. Let's find a brief war right now. How long did it take? Somebody Google it. I hope it's 18 months. I think that David was three years it took him, which is crazy because I think that's like 17 feet or something. How many did you go out there with a boyfriend? I went there with

some friends, yeah, and my boyfriend at the time. Yeah, how much is he bench pressed? I'll find out. I'll find out. I'll let you know. Yeah. Ask him how much he fucking bench pressed if he throws hands. I think I was right.

It took him one year, 1498 to 1499. Yeah, but in less than two years. Okay. So we're both. So we're both. Yeah, we're in the middle. Yeah. Both right.

We're both wrong and we're both right. You're both right, but you're both wrong. Pull up the Moses. Yeah. Because Moses is my favorite. Yeah. look at this sculpture by michelangelo michelangelo and the way you would say it in italian is michelangelo michelangelo yeah so i mean it's cute love it if you go if you go to any museum and you see like how the greeks did it you know and their statues and how beautiful they are and then you go to any museum and you see like how the Greeks did it, you know, and their statues and how beautiful they are.

And then you walk to the Italian room, you just like you forget about the Greeks even existed. That doesn't happen. No, it does. Because the detail that the Italians have is un-fucking-believable. And not only can they do it on a big scale, but they could do it. Some of these statues are microscopic and these kids are fucking cutting them up. Yeah. You know?

Not only can they do a good sculpture, they can also throw down some good concrete in your backyard. Yeah, they'll throw it right down. Yeah, if you need a pool built and you need some marble or you need some masonry done. Yeah. Yeah. Call Sally Guzon's company. Call Sally Guzon's company.

I guarantee you there's not a place in the world where the water doesn't move as fucking, doesn't flow as smooth as it does in Smithtown. Is Smithtown water? Smithtown got good water. Smithtown got good water. Shout out to the Smithtown water department. Does anyone need another water? I'd like to have another water, but I also

gotta pee, but it could be an STD. You know what's kidding? We're out of water? This is the first time we're fucking out of water. Somebody call Smithtown. Thank you, Mike. Because if Smithtown at some point doesn't send us a sample of their water what are you looking at mike you want to say something about mike that was a bottle of water i just think mike is

he's looking good he's looking like he's getting because when moa mayor comes in or i might not be able to wait for moa mayor when we put mike in that hajib it's just going to be a thing that i don't know if we're going to have ever be able to recover from yeah i don't know they just continuously do this podcast with hajibs and then just go full muzzy for the rest of our lives we're going to have ever be able to recover from it. We may just continuously do this podcast with hijabs and then just go full muzzy for the rest of our lives. Yeah, we're just going to have to do that. Hijabs. I keep saying hijabs. It sounds, it's, you know, it's tomato, tomato. It's a hijab

is what the women wearing. It's a hijab. It's that fuck who gave me a parking ticket this morning. I mean, it's just what it is. That hit the bat and flew into the wall. Yeah. The apple coming up in Citi Field. Home run. Yeah.

It's just what it is. Yeah. You know, it was another home run from last week when you said, I don't think they necessarily see Jesus as a friend. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's just, yeah. When we're talking about Islam. Yeah.

But, um, Michelangelo. Yeah. Oh my God. My man, the truffle pig's calling me. Yeah. The truffle pig was just texting me. What does he want? This kid, he was just giving me problem.

We have the same manager and why do we call him a truffle pig? Because he's, uh, he's like a truffle pig. How truffle pigs just hunt for truffles. This guy hunts for bags of money. The guy just sniffs around and finds little bags of money like a truffle pig finds truffles. Can we just get Wei Zhangxin everywhere, please? Wei Zhangxin, because you know where

faith is from. Yeah, thank you. Yeah. Oh, God. So, we're getting close, right? Yeah, well, I'm close. Yeah. Yeah, thank you. Oh, God. We're getting close, right? Well, I'm close. Yeah. Way to Michael. Now Mike left. Mike could be having, do you think he has like little

heart attack pains on the regular? Yeah, the breathing starts to get a little loud over here. Sometimes I think the air conditioner's on. You know what's wild about Italian kids, especially back then? They do have long, wild names because Michelangelo's full name is Michelangelo di

Ludovico Buonarriti Simone. Wow. But Greeks have long, wild names too. Yeah, but the difference between Greeks is our names are long. These guys have a lot of last names. I understand what you mean. What's your guy's name again who made the suit? Giovanni Brasciani.

Giovanni Brasciani. This guy's, Michelangelo's name is Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni. Yeah. That's his full fucking name. It's a full fucking name. Kid was born in 1475. I was born in 1975. Two cute kids.

Wow. 300 years apart. Yeah. We're fucking cute kids in 1975. Two cute kids. Wow. 300 years apart. Yeah. We're fucking cute kids. Cuz you look cute in that fucking suit. 300 years. 500 years. Yeah. Look. Cuz. So Michelangelo in closing. In closing. He was a kid who loved to paint and spin the wheel. He liked to spin the wheel.

He was a gay kid. He was a gay kid. Today he'd be the most featured guest on Ellen. Yeah. I mean look. You gotta just allow gay people to be gay people. They're just, everyone's doing their own thing. The pros way outweigh the cons. Mind your own fucking business. Let these people have fun. Let these people live their

fucking life and do the right thing. You know, let them, whatever. Be happy. They're great parents. They're great artists. And even if they're not into any of that, they're just great people. Let them do what they want to do behind closed doors. They're not getting into heaven. So either way, either way. Yeah. Weijiaxin, please. Are you fucking kidding?

Zach, are you listening to our podcast? Yeah, because the Muzzy, he fucking believes it. Yeah. Jesus fucking Christ. Seriously, shout out all my gay friends. You know, the only ones I can think of off the top of my head, Matteo Lane, Tim Dillon, Mike Mush. And Frank.

And Frank Liotti. Shout out Frank Liotti, who's close. Yeah. The thing about Michelangelo is his lover was so much younger than him. This guy, he was this nobleman. And that's all he had. Everything else is sort of a mystery.

There's no kind of recorded history on who exactly he was banging out. But he definitely based on his writings, which is all we know, his letters to this kid. He was obsessed with this young kid. This kid must have been a piece. He must have been a fucking piece and a nice little piece. And

yeah, man. So support the gays. Happy pride. That was Michelangelo. Now as we do at the end of every episode, we read the newest members yeah, man. So support the gays. Happy pride. That was Michelangelo. Now, as we do at the end of every episode, we read the newest members to our Patreon. So let's introduce these new homos

to the matriarchy. We do a Weishan Ching. We do a Weishan Ching. We do a Weishan Ching. Everything's happy pride. I mean, it's gotten to the point now where we have to ask for the Weishan Chings.

Yeah. Zach is just a, he's a jaded 23-year year old kid who's been on this podcast a year and he just can't tell anymore yeah like we yeah we can't yeah yeah yeah like we can't tell whether we're being real or if we're being sean terry and patty moroni you can't tell what's funny and not all right so welcome welcome to the to the to the podcast. AJ. One name. Yeah, we know. Here we go. Here's a fucking talent kid. Alberto Alessandro Sampieri.

Sampieri. Welcome. Amanda Stevens. Andrea Carceres. That's a Puerto Rican. Yeah. Ashley De Silva. She's way. Blaine Crackham Open. His name is Blaine. Blaine. There's no way that kid does not fucking own a boot on the boat. Blaine, crack him open. His name is Blaine? Blaine. There's no way that kid does

not fucking own a boat. Own a boat. Blaine, crack him open. Brian Renz. Brian Renz. Dalton Big D Wells. Fuck. Dalton and Blaine, you guys are white kids. White kids. Danielle Reese. Danielle Reese. Cute. Peace. Danielle Reese is a peace.

Ella Grimpa. Ella Grimpa. Que pasa mi gente?impa. Jake Marshall. Jake Marshall, another white kid. Jake, Blaine, and Dalton. Wow. Jessica Rubush. Jessica Rubush. She's a Croatian kid. Joe Zanini. Joe Zanini. How you doing, Joe? Shout out

Smithtown Water. Shout out Smithtown Water, Joey. Joey Cheesedick. Joey. PPW. Yeah, he got the title. Joey Cheesedick. JuliaW. Yeah, he got the title. Joey Cheesedick. Julia Young. Julia Young. Just a normal girl.

Keenan. Okay. We know what's going on. Yeah, me? Yeah. Q-K. Q-K? That's a good one.

She's weak. Michael Patterson. Michael Patterson. He's blind. Mateo. Mateo Boikatsu. That kid's right from Chernobyl. Yeah,son. He's blind. Mateo Boycutzo. That kid's right from Chernobyl. Yeah, he's a Russian kid.

Nicole Stevenson. Hey, Nicole. Nonia Bainas. Rogelio Rivas. Spencer Delgado. Steel Pipe Jackie. Steel Pipe Jackie, Steel Pipe Jackie. That's a PPW nominee, buddy.

We got to give it to Cheese Dick. Yeah. Thor's Got Hammers is the last one. That's another good one. Yeah. Thor's Got Hammers is another PPW nominee. So those are the new members, and it's a little bit longer of a list. So thank you so much.

Welcome. Yeah, welcome. We do got our small business sponsors. Yeah, read while he's at it. I just got to go take a piss. It could be an STD. Listen, if you've got a little drip, let us know. Yeah. Yeah. Read, read what he's, I just gotta go take a piss. Listen, yes. You've got a little drip.

Let us know. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So we want to give a shout out. Of course. Now these guys, I think make me angry every time and actually tip your hat off to

yourselves because, because we only got a hundred dollars from you, but it was because of you that we decided, Hey, look, this podcast is too big and we need to up the money because Lakeside Maple is already doing good. I saw a post on their Instagram

about how as soon as he created this stuff, they sold out because it's just, this is one of those unbelievable, amazing ideas. It's fucking granola. And I already saw that our boy Matt Koch, the nutrition kid, our other sponsor, he bought some Lakeside Maple.

So Lakeside Maple, it's trail mix that's baked in pure maple syrup. Maple syrup is 100% natural from the trees, and that's how they do it. There are three flavors, original, ginger, chai, and spicy. Just go fucking check them out. Lakeside Maple, lakesidemaple.com. fucking check them out. Lakeside Maple. Lakesidemaple.com The promo code WILD at checkout

for 15% off your offer. Just go get it. Follow them on Instagram. Lakeside Maple. And then if your kid's got a little anxiety or anything else, as you know, CBD oil cures it all. This is the best CBD company around. CBD

Script. Go to their website. CBDscript.com This is the best CBD company around CBD script. Go to their website, CBD script dot com CBD. S.C.R.I.P. dot com promo code. Hyena's 15 to get 15 percent off of your total order. They got everything, gummies, edibles, all that and no fumes. And of course, nice street auto down there in Huntington. Give them a call. 631-351-5300 down in Huntington Station. That's just for anyone who lives on the

island. And then our new guy. I love this kid. This kid's got a good sense of humor about his eyes being far apart. Listen, your eyes are far apart. Mine are too close together. Yeah. So combined, you guys have the perfect eyes. We got the perfect guys.

So don't worry. We're both, we're in the same boat, but he's a handsome Jack kid. He's a Jack. He's a good kid. And he makes nutrition fun. Yeah.

It's called nutrition. Main fun. Follow him on Phil. Follow him on Instagram. Nutrition made fun. That's really where you should go check him out. Cause his, he's constantly posting.

He's constantly giving you tips. Um, but, uh, go enroll at a nutrition made fun. Is it nutrition made tips. But go enroll at Nutrition Made Fun. Is it NutritionMadeFun.com? Yeah. Nutrition Made Fun. Easy to remember and follow him on Instagram.

Then, of course, our favorite, our inaugural, always, we love you so much, Dr. Harvey Spencer Jr. down there in Rock Hill, South Carolina. A healthy, happy smile cosmetic dentistry. That's HealthyHappySmmile.com and you can follow him on Instagram

at Healthy Smile Rock Hill. And I think that's it. Elvedora Rajpaska. Just go follow the kid, Elvedora Rajpaska, livefromthesandbox.com Live from the Sandbox and he'll be with me, opening for me at the Soho Theater

in London, June 24th, 25th. So bring your goggles. It's going to be a sandstorm. Yeah, that's it. Where are we at? Don't forget about our shirts at OnTheValleyApparel.com Papa's Witch Hazel Crack Up and Clean Out No Fumes and

our Teespring store, History of Hyenas, where you can get like mugs and stickers, stuff like that. So guys, go to Teespring.com slash History Hyenas and then go to OnTheVolley.com. OnTheVolleyApparel.com. OnTheVolleyApparel.com for our shirts. We're fucking screwed in. Get those shirts.

Everyone is feeling good. We got a whole team here. Things are going good. Go buy a merch, wear it, and most importantly, tell your friends about the history of hyenas and join us at patreon.com slash pay rich boys. And you can check out all my standup dates coming up. Christycomedy.com. I got so many weekends coming up all over the country.

So go check it out. I'll be in your city. And yannispapas.net, which is coming. It's coming. Yannispapas.net is almost up. I'm in Miami this weekend. If you listen to this on Thursday and you live in Miami or close to it, go get tickets to the Miami Improv.

And all my other dates will be up soon because the kids also got a special coming out. So look for it. It's about to be released. So check it out. It's called Blowing the Light, and it's going to be free. But I ask you that you share with all your friends. That's that's what it is.

You got to fucking share it. Share it with your friends and family. Again, happy pride. So, you know, for the first time, I really fucking mean this. Go suck a dick. Yeah. And oh, at History Aina's on Instagram and follow us on YouTube if you're a toot. Thanks, Mike.

So we're going to do the calls. We'll do it later. Oh, yeah. We got to vote. We have our Patreon members start voting for what we're going to do the calls. We'll do it later. Oh, yeah. We got to vote. We have our Patreon members start voting for what we're going to do. History packs on. Love that. We had that poll on there.

Yeah. So the first we want them to vote for on. We have Jack the Ripper, Rasputin and Pearl Harbor. We'll put a poll up on there. You guys want to vote for them. Guys, try to put a little more diversity in there. OK, those are all white things. Well, Pearl Harbor. Yeah. Yeah. No, try to put a little more diversity in there, okay? Those are all white things. Well, Pearl Harbor.

Yeah. No, those are great. Yeah, so go over to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys for those. Yeah, Pearl Harbor, guess what? The Japs made a big mistake. Wait, Sean, see. I mean, he doesn't even admit, because if he was a pilot. It's not working anymore. He broke the button. Zach just walks around the cabin now. Yeah, I was

just kidding. I'm sorry. Obviously, I was just joking, but seriously, I mean, look what happened. Where's your machine? He fucking poked the boy. Thank you. We love you. Peace. Thank you. What's up, Billy? This kid sounds sexy.

Hey, what's up, man? What's up, man? It's the History Hyenas. Billy, you got pants on right now? Yeah, what you wearing? I'm in my underwear right now, laying in bed. I'll fucking crack open your asshole. Gross! Are you laying in this New York City rain? My New York City air conditioner.

Yeah, that's a kid. He's got a couple generations of city workers in his family. When's the last time you left Staten Island? Oh, God, I hate Staten Island. Wow. Where are you? I'm in Bay Ridge, man. I'm home.

Oh, you live in Bay Ridge? Bay Ridge, kid. Why are you sleeping? You work at night? So what's going on? You fucking throwing it back at the salty dog? Yeah, I work midnight to eight. Wow.

So he's a kid we could just see on the street. Have you seen either one of us out there? Yeah, I've seen Chrissy a few times taking videos walking in the 90s. Yeah, you can't. I got a situation with the mother. He's got a situation with the mother up there tonight.

Yeah. He's walking around in the 90s. He's always a little more stressed. If you see him down in the 70s and 80s, kids' blood pressure is normal. Normal, but if I'm up in the 90s,'s always a little more stressed if you see him down in the 70s and 80s kids blood pressure is normal normal but if I'm up in the 90s it's just there's a situation going on with the mother he's got the phone up high

yeah yeah that's me just making a fucking suicide video alright well Billy we just want to ask you real quick first of all of course thank you for being a $25 member we value your service what's your favorite moment of the podcast so far? And what's your favorite restaurant in the Ridge? Yeah. What's my favorite

part? What's your favorite part of an episode or episode in general? What's your favorite restaurant in the Ridge? And do you think people go to hell if they're gay? Those three. No, I don't think people go to hell. Yeah, that's good. Progressive. Yeah progressive what's your favorite restaurant in the ridge the rant the Tim Dylan

rant about the Impractical Jokers that's a good one that was probably one of the funniest things I've ever heard 10 out of 10 Tim's 10 out of 10 yeah that's a good one and what about our favorite restaurant in the ridge and then we've reached the Haybird time limit I think I gotta go go Geno's.

Wow. See, me too. I love Geno's. Because all the old school Bay Ridge kids love Geno's. I told you. I've been eating Geno's every day since like 1970. Yeah. I was born in 84.

Yeah. Have you tried Lombardo's? Because it's unbelievable. No. I've seen it. It's like hidden. Yeah. I'm not really over there that much.

And even though it's Michelin star rated, it's safe to say you've never stepped foot in Tangerine. No, never. Yeah, because for political reasons. Enemy territory. Yeah, I get what it is. I don't know. But I don't know what it is. Yeah, because it's a Middle Eastern restaurant.

It's Mediterranean. I just never even cared to even walk inside. Yeah, no, it's an amazing Middle Eastern restaurant. Beautiful Middle Eastern food. It's Mediterranean. I just never even cared to even walk inside. Yeah, no, it's an amazing Middle Eastern restaurant. Beautiful Middle Eastern food. It's got Michelin. Ah, that's it. Yeah, so I get it. You just probably crossed the street.

Yeah. Okay. Listen, you reached the people in time. Thanks, Billy. Go back to jerking off to John Travolta, whatever you're doing. That was a good call. I mean, he was a Bay Ridge kid. Yeah, he was slain in his underwear.

Yeah. I mean, you still have that in Bay Ridge. You still have that. Well, he said he's not going to go on Tangerine because it's Middle Eastern. Yeah. He was like, oh, that's what it is. Yeah, that's what I know. Is it Chinese?

What's going on? Yeah, yeah. So that's a part of Brooklyn that still exists. But you can't find that part of Brooklyn in Park Slope or Dumbo or Carol Gardens or the Upper West. This is Ivan Hernandez. Yeah, my girlfriend's six years from the Upper West. Yeah, 95th

between Central Park West and Columbus. Yeah, we dated from a little in high school and then post college for six years. So I used to stomp around there all the time. What was that? Hey, what's up? It's

Giannis Pappas and Chris DiStefano from the History Hyenas. Who the hell are you? And thank you for your service. You're a $25 member. You're a non-dude. Holy shit. I'm Ivan. Are you a Russian kid? What's that now? Are you a Russian kid? What's that now?

Are you a Russian kid? The name's Ivan. I'm actually Puerto Rican. Wow. Nice. Did you do Puerto Rico Day Parade festivities this weekend? I did not. Unfortunately, I live in Virginia.

Oh, yes. They've got fire hydrants out there. Yes. He said, yeah, he said you couldn't celebrate because you don't have fire hydrants out there. Yeah. He said, yeah, he said you couldn't celebrate because you don't have fire hydrants out there. So you couldn't. Not at all. Yeah, you couldn't play in the water. Yeah, I was just kidding around.

What is a Puerto Rican do it in Virginia? How did you get down there? Yeah. What happened? I'm in Puerto Rico. I'm in the airport, actually. Oh, thank you for your service. Holy shit. Thank you so much for your service. We appreciate it. Thank you for your service. Thank you for your support.

Thank you for your service. Your $25 month is actually coming from the government. This is government. Tell us about Donald Trump. You know, he's doing a job. Yeah, he's not a fan. He's not a fan. But because he's the president, you fight for him.

You have to. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, no doubt. That's why you got to love these guys. These guys protect us no matter what. No matter what. They try to just stay neutral and say, you know what?

We're in the armed forces. Because can you fly a plane? Are you like in the Air Force? Air Force? Are you still on the ground most of the time? I'm I'm actually an intelligence analyst. Holy shit. Wow.

So you fuck. So you've been looking through Chrissy's porn history. You snuck in? You cracked it? Yeah, yeah, actually. It's some pretty sick shit. How much does he spin the wheel with that history? Does he push it to the limit? There's actually a lot of tentacle shit from what I've seen.

Yeah, you push it to the limit and you spin the wheel. In my mind, when it gets sexual, it starts to get weird. I start to just do things. You know, I'm the kind of kid spin the wheel. In my mind, when it gets sexual, it starts to get weird. I start to just, I start to just do things. You know, I'm the kind of kid, I'll put chopsticks up my ass and a hijibi on and jerk off.

That's what gets me horny is just thinking about the enemy. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, no, I'm not, I don't,

I don't do any like, sort of like NSA type shit. I'm actually an imagery analyst. So I work with, you know, the drones. Yeah. All right. Well well we've reached the

hey bird time limit you can't do that to an officer you gotta treat them a little different i'm sorry no disrespect yeah how you doing we're gonna we're gonna ask him his favorite we're gonna get off politely because he's he's yeah he's a soldier cuz all right go ahead we can't just fucking hey bird time limit him hey bird okay yeah so what's your favorite episode of the podcast oh um there's so many of them but i think the one that stands out to me is when you were talking about slavery in Greece and Roman Empire and stuff like that. And you were talking about how Chris has like, you know, the really good triceps pushing down the gay and nice big ass and good sack boxes on top of it. It just it really spoke to me because I'm built sort of the same way. Yeah, I get it. Here's the thing. I get it, yeah.

Do you know what I love about Ivan right now? Yeah. And what was the guy before, Billy? Billy. You could really see the range in our fans. Yeah. Because look, Billy is Franks and Beans compared to Ivan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ivan's like, I really like that. Ivan's a fucking intelligence analyst. Yeah, Ivan is an intelligence. He was like, I really like that part where you were explaining about, you know, slavery during Rome

and it was very educational. And then he had a little fun with you pushing down the gay. But I mean, Billy was like, what? What's going on here? Yeah, don't fuck a walk in there. Yeah. Yeah. So we really do got to range. Thank you for your service. We really appreciate it. I appreciate the call. It's made my day. Yeah, man. And please tell everyone in the armed forces to listen

to the history hyenas because we support the troops. We support the troops. Yeah. Oh, I talk to you guys up at work all the time. Thank you so much. All right, Trump 2020. See you later. Can we get a clip of that, please? Can we get a soundbite of him going? I stick chopstick up my ass and I put

a GB on it. I jerk off. I'm a wild kid. Whatever he just said, whatever he just said was one of the funniest things I've heard in my absolute entire life. I said I surround myself with the enemy. Yeah. Can we just get a clip of that? Definitely. Yeah, that's an Instagram. Yeah. I said I surround myself with the enemies. Yeah. Can we just get a clip of that? Definitely. Yeah. That's an Instagram. Yeah.

I stick chopsticks in my mouth and put a hijibi on. I jerk off. Yeah. I mean, Venetia, if your father finally finds out where you're going to work nowadays. Yeah. You're going to get. On a tilt. Yeah.

You're going to be on your deathbed. Who's this? Jillian Serto. Serto? Because we got to get this podcast big. We got to keep getting it big. Because we got to keep Venetia. Paul Verge is calling me. He's probably someone. He wants to talk about

something. Yeah, you can't tell anybody, but you know, I got to get bananas. It's okay. But keep that between us. Whatever you say. but keep that between us if they have a voicemail that's not no yeah all right how many more we got uh four more moments out of gas yeah

that was one of the funniest things i've ever heard in my life yeah yeah you just permanently pop your bottom jaw out now it's gonna stay that way if you keep doing it. And that's what happens. It feels good. It's good to hit it. Yeah. But it just puts you in a mode when you do that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You're just like in an animal mode. Yeah. Yeah. In a funny animal mode. Yeah. This is Carolyn. Is there dead on video of him saying that yeah we need that i mean that is hello hey kira lynch

what's up this is chris and stephanie on yannis pops from the history hyenas your peace your peace hey how's it going thanks for being a valuable Lynch. What's up? This is Chris Estefanonianos from the History of Hyenas. Your piece. Your piece. Hey, how's it going? Thanks for being a valuable $25 member. Are you good? Do you need some water? Water? I've got my water and I just actually got a smoothie.

Wow. Cute. Are you going to spin the wheel a little bit today? Yeah. Nice. What are you doing today? You sound like a girl who's driving around with your drop top down in an Audi and you still haven't figured out what you want to do

because dad's rich. I am driving around right now and working. Oh, I was wrong. What do you do for work? I work for a cybersecurity startup. Wow. We've got a lot of highly

intelligent people that listen to this. I totally got that wrong. I was way wrong about that. So you have actually been the one who's been hacking our computer histories. Yeah. You know it. Does Chrissy spin the wheel when he jerks off? What have you found? Because he just said he'll do what?

I'll put chopsticks up my ass and throw on a hijibi and jerk off a little bit. I like to surround myself with America's enemies. It makes me horny. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Yeah. She knew that already. She's seen that already. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, when I

ordered sushi and I ordered extra chopsticks you know, the delivery guys, they don't know what's about to happen. You're about to get a splinter in your sphincter. Yeah, throwing a little point up in the fucking wheel. They got another thing coming. Yeah, another thing coming. Now, are you single, married?

What's going on? I'm married, and we actually just saw you in San Diego last year. Wow, cute. Was it a cute show? Yes. we actually just saw you in San Diego last year. Wow. Was it a cute show? Oh, so cute. Yes. We had the best time. Thank you.

My co-worker and her boyfriend went with us and we were sitting. We went to the Thursday night show and we were sitting in the front right behind that crazy group of geriatrics with

Mario. Oh, he saw you guys. He told me about it. Yeah, he saw you. You remember them. He told me about them. You said she was a peeve. Yeah, I did say that, but I know she's a married woman. Yeah, so you sinned. All right, Kira. Well, we just want to say thank you so much for your service. Keep cyberspace secure and all right kira well we just want to say thank you so much for your service keep keep keeping the uh

keep cyberspace secure and uh for being a valuable member of patreon and tell your husband thank you for his service yeah and uh yeah i appreciate it if anything ever goes wrong yeah bye bye yeah she san diego's a conservative town she probably works for the government too yeah these girls know they know that they tell their husbands look you fight with me one more time I'm sliding up into Chris DiStefano's DMs it's what it is yeah

Thalia Valkano she was a Greek girl who wanted you to crack her open and clean her out so she must not have a good relationship with her father well she did she's off the page right now so we're not giving her the content oh she got off? well she was one of the big ones we lost yeah we'll get her back what are you going to do? She's off the Patreon now. She got off? She was one of the big ones we lost.

We'll get her back. Thalia's going to come back now that she knows Venetia's working with us. This is Lee Newell. We spoke to this kid already? Yo! Yo! Blizzy! What's up, babe?

What's up, too? How are you? What's going on? What are you doing? You fuckers, man. I fucking date. No, I'm just fucking with you. No, go ahead. I'm glad you got the call, though, man.

Yeah, what you doing, bro? What you doing? Dude, I'm gonna fucking work. I'm just jacking off all over the walls. What do you think I'm doing? You're a wild kid. Where do you work and what do you do? Man, I don't even want to say where I work. No, I work at a stereo shop, actually.

Oh, wow. You work at a stereo shop? I am stereo, baby. Yeah. Stereos, home theaters, all that kind of stuff. Oh, shit. So listen to me. Let me do a little bit of talking because I want you guys to do real well and I want you guys to just be like totally, totally screwed in.

Okay. You guys got to get out to California okay and do Theo Vaughn I know that Chris is going on fucking fighter and the kid and everything both of you guys got to go yeah well that's you yeah he did um he did Theo

Vaughn's already I'm gonna do I'm gonna do a round two because I got this special coming out blowing the light and I want to promote the hell out of it. So I'm going to go on all those podcasts. Blow your wad all over LA, all the podcasts. I don't care who it is. You've got to blow your wad everywhere you can. Yeah. You're a kid who really likes to blow wads against walls. Yeah. I mean, yeah. So one more thing, man, my, my brother, fresh young dude, So one more thing, man. My brother, fresh young dude,

and you guys called him, right? Yes. You did. So he turned me on to you guys. I didn't fucking believe me. It's like, you got to hear this. It's the funniest shit. And I was a non-toot before him.

So that's a beautiful thing. That's a crazy story. Wow. Thank you. We really appreciate it. It's a very interesting story. Like maybe one week. So he was a toot a little longer, but he's a 9 out of 10 toot because he doesn't do anal.

He's your younger brother? No, he's older. Older brother, yeah. You're the cool one. Two good looking dudes, but that's about it. Two cute kids. What part of Cali are you in? Oh, kids. What part of Cali are you?

What's that? Where do you live? Dude, I'm in Chicago, bro. You're Chicago. Yeah. Chicago's a good city. I'm coming out there in August. So, yeah. Oh, I'll be there at the fucking.

Stick some Portillo's hot dogs up our asses. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, I got to say, I want you guys to do good. You guys got to go on all these podcasts because that seems to be just a way to do it. The way to get the fucking, you know, all the Jews and everything to start listening. This kid screwed in. Yeah, he screwed in.

And I get no fucking way to unchain with that shit. I know. Well, I mean, because Zach's writing lyrics. Yes. Yeah, we got the whole career. But I mean, Zach is half paying attention now because his rap is starting to do good. Yeah. So he's got one. He's probably trying to spray out too while you guys are talking. Yeah. I just want to wish you guys the best of luck because I do get

a shitload of laughs out of your podcast. No problem. Very cool that you call us non-tutes. You're actually the first non-tute who's given us the Hey Bert time limit. So we appreciate that. Doesn't it sound like he's wrapping it up? That's hilarious. Thank you so much. I mean, what are we doing here? I want to sound cool, so I'm going to... No, I appreciate it.

I got to let you guys go. You got some stereos to sell in 1987, so you got to go. We're going to see you over there in Chicago. All right, see you later, bro. All right, bye. I mean, somebody's got to tell that kid that that store probably did good in 1987. Yeah, it's not going to work. It's all digital now. Bye. ប្រូវាប់ប់ប្រូវាប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប្រូវាប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ពីប់ព