History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 8 - Marriage is WILD!

Episode Date: April 1, 2018

The Bay Ridge Boys, Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas talk about Yannis' upcoming wedding and the history of weddings throughout time. A new special award is created to commemorate those true hyenas out there. Wild!!!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

What's up, cuzzy wuzzies? You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys, History Hyenas, Bad. What's up everybody? Welcome to the History Hyenas. I'm Chrissy D with Yanni P. A.K.A. Kiddies with Smellies. A.K.A.

True Blue Gays. And we're here with Zach Ice's face. White Bardo, White Wasp Church. Can't make it probably. He had a dirt bike convention he had to go to with that rat tail from last week. Yeah, that and he's fucking probably purging somewhere. Yo, he has a legit, his barber played a joke on him, White Wasp, Bardo Church, and left him with a rat tail.

If you listen to last week, I wish we should have took a picture of it. I took a picture of it. You did? Looking at the back of his head was nauseating. But it's like, what kind of barber plays a trick on you like that? I would actually fist fight my barber. Yeah, yeah. But that's why barbers got to start lifting weights, because people take advantage of them.

That's the type of stuff that you can get away with if you're kind of from a higher echelon of society. And it's funny. And it's also a little cultural, you know? Right. Like, if you did that to some Ridgewood kids and you fucked up their hair, something's happening maybe to you and your family. Yeah, you can't fuck up their hair and especially on a weekend. Yeah. Nah, I can't do it.

And if you do that in a black barbershop, there's going to be a fucking world star hip hop video where you're getting knocked out. You can't fuck up a black dude's hair. Yo, do we have the picture of this hyena on camera right now, Zach, or no? You know what I was thinking when I was looking at it? It's disgusting. While the song was playing, I was looking at that going like thinking my old

adage, the thing I first thought when I started being fascinated with hyenas is, how can there be a god and that thing on that screen simultaneously? Look at that fucking animal! Look at how disgusting. First of all, its teeth are fucking filthy.

Okay? It's got razor sharp teeth and then in the front for no fucking reason it has the teeth of a three-year-old boy it does why does it have baby teeth in the front because those teeth don't matter because look at those big boys right next to him that do all the chewing and crushing of bone this animal pulverizes bone like bombs in building it is like a demolition crew in its face. And then it throws it up and eats it again.

Yeah. Like a fucking vacuum cleaner. And it's disgusting. Just Google right now if you're driving, whatever, pull over. Just Google right now

any picture of a hyena and I guarantee you you'll throw up your last meal. They're hideous. Specifically, try to Google a picture of a hyena like attacking or with its mouth open.

Because, yo, look at those choppers, cuz. It's disgusting. I mean, and its tongue is all black. Look at its tongue. It looks like it was just licking ass. Yeah. It is a spotted hyenas are fucking wild. But you guys are hyenas.

We want to give a special shout out to one hyena who went above and beyond for us this weekend. Dare I call him Queen Matriarch Hyena of All Time. At this point, he's the queen. He's the queen fucking pseudo-penis. I was gonna say, at this point, we're gonna give

his name is Rafael DeLuca. Giannis and I talked about it, and Zach Iacocci talked about it. We want to give you the honorary pseudo-penis for today's episode. Each episode, each week, if you guys go above and beyond and you show your true hyena loyalty, whether you're on Patreon.com at slash Bay Ridge Boys, being a part of our community, or just sending us things, you will get the honorary pseudo-penis of the week. So, Rafael DeLuca, congratulations. You, my friend, have gotten the pseudo-penis of the week. So, Rafael DeLuca, congratulations. You, my friend, have gotten the pseudo-penis of the week.

He made a song for us. I believe he's a DJ or a sound engineer. He made a song for us, and it had me laughing to the point... Giannis told me last week he said that I don't laugh enough. Sounds like you were at the dentist. Yeah. You were laughing like you just got gas. I was hysterical.

I actually had to hang up the phone on yannis because i was hysterical laughing slash crying you sounded like a school girl cuz yeah part of me was going like from last episode i was like maybe chris is trans cuz because you sounded like a school girl you think i had a fucking wild kid yeah i'm glad that this is called we call this history hyenas yeah because there's no better example of a goddamn rule-less hyena than you. Than me, right? The way you look and the way you giggle, juxtaposing those two things in my brain on the phone

last night, I sounded like I was on the phone with a six-year-old schoolgirl. I mean, you were cackling in a high-pitched voice. I know. Dude, I couldn't even speak. I was laughing so hard. Did you have a fucking wife beard on or were you just fucking letting your two different tits flop around? Yeah, no. Well, I had the wife beater on, but my right one was insecure, but my left nipple always

hangs out of the side of my wife beater. Like an anteater. My left nipple is right underneath my armpit. When me and Chris first started hanging in the ridge when he moved there and I saw his tits. Yeah. Now, this is not an exaggeration. This is why I'm telling you he is a hyena bad. Not just hyena, he tits. Yeah. Now, this is not an exaggeration. This is why I'm telling you he's a hyena bad.

Not just hyena, he's bad. Yeah. He has two different tits. Yeah. He was born with two different tits. I got two different tits. And broken feet. Yeah.

It looks like you owed somebody money and they put your feet in a vice. Yeah. And that's the consequence for not having the money. My feet are backwards. Yeah. And my right chest looks like a normal man's chest, and then my left chest looks like a nine-year-old girl. It looks like a prepubescent girl.

It actually looks like the nose of an anteater. It hangs off. Yeah. It hangs down. It points down like it's trying to sniff for bugs. Google an anteater, Google anteater, and then just put that image in your head and realize there's a man walking around the streets of the United States with that on his chest. With one.

With one tit that looks like that. And the actual nipples are two different nipples. Yeah. It looks like you had somebody else's nipples sewed on to one of you. One of you. It's two different nipples. I got two different nips. How did that happen?

Because when I was a kid, they thought that I actually had an enlarged heart because I had two different tits. And like one of them, you know, so that one, I went to all these different medical professionals. And, you know, one of them was like, oh, it's, you know, it could be a heart problem. And the other one was like, oh, it's your bone in your chest. I just get chest x-rays to make sure. But my heart was fine. And then one guy was like, yeah, the one doctor was like, he's just got a little extra adipose tissue, it's called. I just have a little more fat because I am out of shape.

When I'm in shape, it doesn't look as bad. I always have a little bit of nipple flab no matter what. There's always, every time I'm running, when I stop, my left nipple jiggles for a couple of more, you know, a couple of bounces. That's never going to go away unless I get reconstructive breast surgery. Yeah. But my heart is fine. It's just extra nipple fat that I've always had my whole life. Well, they didn't know what they were looking for.

That's the problem. That's why they misdiagnosed you. Because what they should have been looking for is... They should have been like, this kid's a hyena. There's nothing we can do about that. This kid's different. He's going to be ruleless. He's going to be lawless. He's just a fucking wild kid.

Because not once did they ever ask me to take down my pants. And if they would have, they would have shot a pseudo penis. Pseudo penis. And you know what? Before we go on to Rafael De Luca, we got to celebrate something, cuz. What are we going to celebrate? Smoothies. Oh, yeah.

Smoothies. Because smoothies have kind of really changed your life a little bit. A little bit. Since you were introduced to smoothies and we became two official cuties with smoothies. Cuties with smoothies. CWS is. Your pre-diabetes is gone.

Is gone. Thank. Yas! Yas! Last time I got blood work last year was 5.7 A1C, which is, which is,

if you guys know, is pre-diabetic. So, as you know, concern. And then just, just eight short months later, from switching from saturated fats and sugars

to just smoothies, anytime I get a sugar craving, instead of having a black and white cookie or a Twinkie, I say, hmm, smoothie. And now I'm proud to say my A1C, 5.3, cuzzo. That's fucking amazing. Yep, not even in the, it'm proud to say, my A1C, 5.3, cuzzo. That's fucking amazing. Yep, not even in the, it's not even considered, it's not even, my doctor was like, it's not even worth talking about right now.

It's just, it's normal. Dude, you gotta attribute a lot of that to smoothies. All of it to smoothies. The only thing that's still high is my cholesterol, cuz of Pete's. But I can't, we both spoke, like, we can't live in a world without Pete's. You know I've given you good advice, but, you know, if you go by Pete's, I say so be it. Yeah. I'm not going to say, look, the kid died young.

I'm going to say the kid died eating Pete's. So if Pete's takes you down, I mean, how can anyone live without eating pizza? I don't think you can. And if you're someone who eats, like, gluten-free pizza, I think you should be put in jail. It's not Pete's, yeah. Do you eat gluten-free pizza, Zachy Isis? What do you guys eat when you're in the caliphate? Anything besides the pita bread. So you when you're in the caliphate? Anything besides the pita bread.

So you could eat pizza in the caliphate. Yeah. But you wouldn't. You would eat pita hummus. I was going to say hummus. It has to be halal. And gay men's toes. It's got to be halal.

Yeah, whatever infidel they put in the pita. Yeah. As long as the sheikh prays on it, it's good. All right, well, let me ask you. So if you guys, you know, because I know you want to just take down Western society put in the pita yeah on whatever as long as the sheikh prays on it it's good all right well let me ask you so if you guys you know because i know like you want to just like take down western society and like you know have our blood run through the streets and all that and make america the caliphate if you did that would you destroy the pizzerias or would you keep them that's a good question i'd probably keep them but halal pizza from now on everything has to be halal what

does halal mean you just prayed upon yeah it's prayed upon before jews and muslims have that in common to fucking do you think upon is it possible is it possible like through your like connections and inter like have you ever heard of anyone going on in jihad and their last meal being a pizza i wouldn't doubt it you wouldn't doubt all right yeah well if you give you you know tap your sources and let us know. Dude, I would not doubt that. Yeah. Pizza has, I mean, pizza has really transcended Italy.

Pizza is the most popular food in the world. In the fucking world. If aliens came and visited this planet, I'm telling you, if as a race of just human beings, the city that we would bring them to, and this is really not debatable, the city that they would choose to have the meeting with the aliens in is New York, and the food they would serve them is pizza. That's just what it is. That's how you would enter them into a global

this is our global human society. This is the food of our universe. Yeah, as a human family, pizza is our food. And this is the city. But yo, I just want to say quick shout out. I know we probably, well before that we probably got a lot of black people listening to this.

Black people love me and you cuz. Yeah, they do. We're honorary, not only we're honorary gays, we're fucking honorary mobs too. We're honorary mobbed out. We're mobbed out bad. And listen, I hope you get inspired by Chris's story cause look, I grew up around a lot of mobs, you grew up around a lot of mobs. I love mobs.

A lot of mobs have problems with diabetes. Absolutely. Big problem. And you switch to become cuties with smoothies. It's hard, though, for black guys sometimes to come in and order a raspberry smoothie. I just, you know, I come in and I just, you know me, I suck it up. I'll be in a good mood. And I'll usually say, I'll usually get what I'll do

is I'll usually get two small smoothies because I'll say that they're both for my daughter. That's what I'll say. I'll say one for now, one for later. And then that's usually how I get away with it. So that's a trick. That's a trick for any of those guys who want to get healthy and don't want to order a smoothie in public.

Just say it's for your daughter. Boom, there you go. That's what I do. You heard it right there from the man whose life has been changed. Listen, I know blacks love fucking sweets. They do love sweets. They love sweets and they like sweet drinks. Yes.

Especially when they drink an alcohol, they like sweet drinks. Yeah. Look, you like sweets? Fruit is sweet. Yeah. It's natural sugar. Natural sugar. So it's still sugar, but it's good for you because not only are we history hyenas bad,

we care about people on this podcast. And we want to turn the world into one big global community of peace where people are holding smoothies. Smoothies! That's right. So, yeah, and if you're a real cutie with a smoothie, don't forget to send us a picture of your smoothie. Tag at the Bay Ridge Boys or DM it to me or Giannis and post up your pictures on patreon.com slash bayridgeboys. All right, but right now I just want to play. It's a two-minute song, but I really just

think it's worth it because I laugh so fucking hard that it's worth it. I want to play the song that Rafael DeLuca, who's an honorary True Blue gay. Well, you're the honorary matriarch because you got different tits. One's an anteater and you're fucking wild. But Rafael DeLuca came in and he stole your pseudo-penis. Yeah, and he's the PPW pseudo penis of the week. I love it.

I was cracking up too. I'll tell you what. Starts to get good. Have you heard this, Zach? Oh, yeah. What are you? What are you? I don't know. What are heard this, Zach? Oh, yeah. Why are you on? What are you? What are you?

I don't know. What are you? I don't know. What are you? What are you? I don't know. Who do you think we are first? TPG, True Blue Gang.

I would say that's one and a half. What are we? Yeah. Number one first? Number one first. What are we? White males? I think that's one and a quarter. What are we first?

Fucking the first. We're wild. That's one in a tenth. One in a tenth. I'll give you a hint. What? It starts with a C. Oh!

I know what it is. We're CWSers. It's moving! It's moving! I'm a bus. I'm a bus. I'm a bus. I'm a bus. I'm a bus. We I'm a puss. You're good. We have no idea what the fuck we're doing.

You got a nice piece. If I walked past one Southern bakery, if I just saw one nice piece of Southern puss that showed any interest, I was going to desert. And you can hang me, but to be honest with you, I don't want to live in a world where I can't eat chocolate cakes or fucking bag catchers. All you got to be is wild. If you're wild, then you're a Bay Ridge boy.

That's it. Just live wild. The Bay Ridge boys. Y'all's pop is Chris and Stefano. We're a couple of cuties. We're a couple of cuties. Where am I? In the mountains? Nope.

They fucking rich, cousin! Oh! TPG! TPG's only, cousin! I mean, first, I mean, first I mean, you know At the end of the day, first I think we're cute as we're smooth I'm good

Yo, you're a good looking kid You too You really are When you take your glasses off You look a little fucked up But when you got your glasses on Ay-yo Fucking wild

What are you? I don't know What are you? What are you? What are you? I don't know Cuties with Smoothies Yes

Rafael DeLuca Thank you so much I mean, dude I hope they bump that In fucking clubs Oh god, I was fucking cackling Yeah I wanna go to

I wanna go to like One of those trans parties And then they play that That would be dope Well dope let me ask you this maybe you're gonna play it at your wedding yes absolutely today's episode's about the history of weddings because yanni poppy is getting married what a fucking idiot much much like our trans episode yeah what what we found is marriage has always been around. It's always been a thing. It's not like a concept that was invented in the 16th century, 18th century, 20th century.

It's just since there's been man, they've needed some type of ceremony to get two people together to make fucking people. Okay, but here's what I'll say. From researching it and stuff, I understood marriage back in the medieval times or even before that, like times like the Druids and all that. I understood you only knew the people in your village. You knew 20 people. You weren't going to leave because if you walk past the tree line, you're going to get eaten by stray wolves or hyenas. So I got why you need to marry someone. I really understood. It's like for dominance and keep your money together.

And you just don't know anyone. You knew the people in your village. You got to marry someone. It's fine. But now in 2018, you know, unless it's your soulmate. I mean, I just don't understand it anymore. I don't understand marriage. I don't understand the concept of marriage in present day.

I just don't get it in present day America. I get it. I don't know why you want to do it. Well I just don't get it. In present day America. I get it. I don't know why you want to do it. Well, first of all. Why do you want to do it? Women want to do it. Women want to do it. Because it's definitely their day to be a princess.

Sure. I think that's why the weddings of Queen Victoria and then later in the 21st century. Yeah. Princess Diana. Princess Di. In the 21st century, Princess Diana. Princess Di. These weddings in the Western world, you saw booms happen after these weddings in the business of weddings and wedding planners and wedding venues and all the ancillary businesses that have grown around a party.

It's basically a party. That's what it is. It's a $60, dollar party it's a sixty thousand dollar party so like if you're from long island it's your second bat mitzvah bat mitzvah so i guess so so with me so what i wait 16 what i think about though with it is like it's like okay so sixty thousand dollars say like that's like the rough estimate of it so it's like you do that but it's like you know people say oh you know yeah but it's like a magical day but it's still $60,000 for one fucking day yeah of your life that statistically is not gonna work out it's a 50% chance of losing and just have flushed that 60k down the toilet this is 50% this is hard to justify if you have a man's brain yeah if you have a man's brain it's hard to justify

I gotta admit it's just hard to here you can really see the different gender roles in our psychology because men are just like look whatever you know

we go as long as we can in modern day you know back in the day guys were actually seeking to get married instead of tribes would raid other tribes

to go fucking wife hunting be like I'm gonna steal one of these girls they got no women had no choice consent only really became a thing with some pope who was like who'd raid other tribes to go fucking wife hunting. I'm going to steal one of these girls. Women had no choice. Consent only really became a thing with some pope who was like, hey, these marriages need consent in Rome. But before that, it was just like, I'm going to steal this woman and make her my wife. Basically, she's going to cook for me.

She's going to make my babies and be a slave. It was a real patriarchal institution and basically making women your family slaves, which, you know what? Maybe they were onto something. Well, I think, you know what? I don't think there's any – and again, I don't think there's a problem with it, but I don't think there's any – should be no shock to anyone and no surprise that as soon as women started getting, fighting for their rights and fighting to be equals, which is great and they should be, the decline in marriage happens and marriages don't work. Because the only way it's really going to work is if one person is fucking controlling the other person. Because if you both level-headed smart people and you're both in control, why the fuck would you want to give each other to only each other for your whole life? Why would you do that willingly?

One of them's against their will. And that's when they used to work. It's definitely not natural. Nature's not. Nature. Look, we're a history podcast. We're a nature podcast. Let's talk nature for a second.

Okay, let's talk nature. It's not fair. It's not fair. Nature's not fair. No. No. I can understand being a woman. Guys, look, guys are always sniffing out puss puss.

I'm never going to not. As long as I have a nose, I'm going to sniff a puss. As long as I have this cute little snout, I'm going to fucking sniff a puss. That's the way we're programmed by the simulators. We're programmed for the simulators to spread the seed. In cases of war or a famine, we have to have something in us that motivates us to make more babies. Yeah, and that's puss. And that's why guys have that promiscuous thing in there.

It's not just society. Listen, you new wave progressive people. It's not fucking, it's fucking evolutionary theory. Some of it is society, no question. But the society is probably based on the anatomical explanations. It's like, look, you have an island and you have 99 men and one woman. In a year, you only have the chance of one baby. That's it.

But if you have 99 women and one man, in the one year, you have the chance of 99 babies. So, of course, nature gonna make man you know have that motivation in his brain to spread and get and sniff out pospos that's it so it makes sense that island when it's just 99 men and one woman bukkake island it's gonna be raining men hallelujah that was basically probably what you know that's there's gonna be a lot of true blue gays on that island yeah and could you find the way if there was no marriage what, you know, there's going to be a lot of true blue gays on that island. Yeah. And could you, by the way, if there was no marriage, what would fucking the true blue gay, what would gay men do for work? I mean, they are, do you have a gay man planning your wedding? Look.

Or do you not? Did you not choose a gay man? My girlfriend was my fiancé. By the way, why do we still use the French? We haven't come up with an English word to supplant fiancé. Why do we rely on the, why don't we be like, yo, my main G, or my triple G, or my bo-bo bad, or my fiancé to my Jay-Z. Why don't we have our own term for fiancé? Because America, like anything else American, we are French.

That's what we are. France gave us our independence. They gave us the Statue of Liberty. They gave us French fries. They gave us everything that makes us American. And they gave us the word fiancé. They did. If it wasn't for them, revolution, we wouldn't want it. Without the French, would we even have this fucking podcast? Absolutely.

Would there even be such a thing as a Yankee or Yankee jersey? Who the fuck would you be? You wouldn't be here. No, I'd be fucking jerking off to Manchester United. That's right. Well, you wouldn't even be hereoklyn wouldn't exist the way it did there would be no irish and italian fucking workers coming over to build whatever and and you know your garbage worker accent and face wouldn't be here well it would be here but it would be like hello my name is christopher church church yeah like bado fucking yeah so look with wet look and

french are behind everything a little fruity too Marriage is a little fruity Yeah, a little fruity, low guy But listen, I support, and look, I support you I think you're getting married for a good reason I mean, you're 68 years old You're fucking, you're coming blood left and right You know

You need to get married No, I'm kidding That's what I was going to say, the nature thing is it's not fair because women, you know, they have to have the babies. Let's talk real nature. They have the babies. Their bodies get a little wrecked up. They need a little insurance that the dude's going to stay around because dudes are wild. Wild. Also, in my opinion, to kind of expect a man to, you know, just want to be with one woman is extremely unnatural.

And I don't and kind of how we talked about, like how religion, how people like live and die by it. But it's probably just a way to control someone from, you know, thousands of years ago is probably just a way to control the poor. I think marriage is in the same boat. I think we believe it now because it's generation after generation and tradition and thousands of years. But I think ultimately, all this stuff started in some way of controlling people. And now it's just so, the origin of it is so far gone that we just, we're creatures of habit, human beings.

We just, you ask any woman why they're getting married, they'll probably, real reason truly is probably because i don't know my mom got married all my friends are getting married so i want to get married it's tradition but what the fuck is who cares about tradition that means nothing you need some traditions or else it's just chaos you know you gotta have some traditions well that but that's what i'm saying marriage is control that's what i'm saying so so but we need a little bit of that we need a little bit of that well or else everyone's just fucking running wild well yeah but thank and that's why thank Marriage is control. That's what I'm saying. But we need a little bit of that. We need a little bit of that. Or else everyone's just fucking running wild. Well, yeah, but thank, and that's why thank God most people, thank God most people just follow the lead and don't even think about going to work every day, working a nine to five, sitting on the bus, sitting on the train, getting their upstate cabin, barbecuing, having four kids, dying of a heart attack, you know the fucking you know living you know with fucking cancer whatever they're doing they just thank god most people just mundane

every day nine to five i'm a worker bee this is what i do i don't stop to think about it we need most of the people to do that because if everybody was fucking wild and everyone was like i'm gonna go the other way and against the stream we'd have a big problem on this planet yeah so most people don't even think about anything else they just keep going straight because that's what their moms did that's what their dads did that's what they do they clock in clock out and that's their lives and they love that and that's great but like religion yeah i don't think it was just about control it also had some very positive benefits for humanity. Yeah. And that's what was created.

Like with religion, I think more than control from the beginning, from its inception. Yeah. Religion was created. Gods were created to unify. Unify. Otherwise, ununified tribes of people. Yeah. Which would be civil war after civil war.

Exactly. Which is what it is. Which is what it is. So you think marriage fits into that category? Yeah, because I think a cock i'm a fucking you know i'm getting a liberal call you know come on fucking libyani i got a hot shot democrat advisor face yeah you got yeah you got fucking yeah you want to wear a democratic candidate pin bad bad bad yeah so i think marriage much like religion obviously the reason was different. But the positive reason marriage would be initially it started to form alliances between families.

Right. So especially amongst the rich and powerful, the noblemen, whatever you want to call the upper class then. Right. In the different times, historians, they called, you know, whatever the, you know, in the different times historians they called you know whatever the uh you know uh in the feudal area you know whatever fucking cast but but like you said but but but only recently like i'm talking about the last 200 years has marriage been this big celebration that cost so much money and so extra uh elaborate and extravagant because what you were saying those high, you know, the top

class, whatever you would call it in that society. It's called something different in every era. It was a very private event. It was just in the home. It was pretty much just for the husband and the wife to unify your family, probably for financial means, for procreation means, you know, to unite houses, to not have a problem. And only when the middle class started to come around but you know someone between the poor and the rich kind of looking for their own identity they started to make it this

extravagant uh party as we know it today but that's most of most of time in most of human history weddings aren't weren't like they weren't they're not wild at all they were only wild like that for the top peeps that's it like if you were trying to unite the kingdom of Denmark and the kingdom of... You'd go nuts. Yeah, whatever. When the two kingdoms got together, you know, a lot of inbreeding too. A lot of inbreeding. Rich people inbreed bad.

They do. That's what they do. Like, you know, it's like she's a cousin, second cousin, but, you know, we're keeping it. We're keeping our bloodline royal. It's really fucking weird. I mean, that was actually preferred. They wanted to keep it in the bloodline royal. It's really fucking weird. I mean, that was actually preferred. They wanted to keep it in the bloodline. Yeah, which is fucking weird.

Talk about nature. That is not good for the child's immune system and for the child's health. No. The farther away, science proves, the farther away from your tribe that you fuck, the better for the kid. Right. So, you know. And there's the nature.

Tribalism is not good for genes. No. So that's a built-in thing for nature, too. They want men to spread their seed deep. They want us to go far and deep. So guess what? You know, the love of my life may be a training from China. I'm going to go find her.

Now I'm going to go on Facebook. Well, the Chinese can't even have Facebook. Yo, but what if we just discovered something that nobody's ever talked about before? Like what? Right here on this fucking podcast. How? What do you think it is? Right here on History Hyenas.

What is it? Nobody ever talks about what motivated people to start walking around you know what i mean yeah you know like to spread out yeah let's say they're saying now maybe start in africa now there's something maybe it started in crete maybe it started in greece yeah first men they're saying maybe they're maybe nobody knows they're still you know the archaeologists still figuring it out it always changes but the The Siberian land bridge? Yeah. But they're saying recently they found that the first man, a man older, or whatever skeleton they found, was older in Greece than in Africa. So wherever it is. But what motivated these motherfuckers to walk, to spread?

Maybe search of pus. That's- Maybe it was some deep motivation. Yeah. Maybe they were hanging around looking at their tribe these are all my sisters that's my second cousin over there

I don't even know if there's anyone out there but I need to get some different puss maybe I'm going to walk into a tribe where the girls shave their bushes maybe they just were hoping for something different dreaming of some exotic puss out there you love exotic puss so you would be a exotic puss. I love exotic puss.

So you would be a perfect example of a guy who has a fucking urge deep in you to go far and wide to find some different exotic puss. Well, I mean, that's you. I mean, if you could, you want to stick a dick into the butthole of Scandinavia. You love Scandinavian puss. When I went to Scandinavia, it was something deep

in like a... What is that? In the competitions. What's that? In the competitions. What's that? Oh, did I press a button? I fucked up. Oh, this kid is... I'm an asshole. I'm sorry.

Yeah, there must be something deep since I'm from an island. Oh, okay. There it is. Yeah. I'm from an island, like going north. Yeah. Or maybe to Africa or Asia. Maybe I'm probably more attracted to that than the people in my own tribes.

But it's, you know, because it's nature. They smell better because nature's going, yo, bang that. Your child's going to have a healthier immune system. Well, that's all it is. Is the reason why you're attracted to, you know, certain pieces of puss or pieces of puss are attracted to certain pieces of pseudo penis like us. It's because they, nature, deep, deep, deep in our brains, something in nature saying, you mate with this person because they will give you a healthy, strong child. Or we'll look at a woman. I mean, the reason, you know, why we like big boobs and fat asses is because we see, you know, places for our children to, you know, nestle their heads on and wild child-bearing hips.

That's why I think, that's why sometimes, you know, sometimes guys just rub their dicks up on me because I got a size 38 waist. That's why sometimes I'm walking on the train and I'll just get a hard dick to the fucking ass crack. Because they can see you're wearing a certain outfit that shows that you have birthing hips? Yeah, and they're like, oh, that's why I can put my baby in there. And I'm like, and there's Bob. That's definitely the baseline of who we are because we're animals. Sure. But we're animals with shoes.

I mean, we have consciousness, which separates from the animals. The neocortex. And to have order and, you know, basically you don't need marriage if you're a hyena. Because the baby's born and you're like, all right, here's eight hyena cubs. Seven of you or six of you are going to die. Five of you are going to be eaten by other fucking hyenas. Lions are just going to kill you regardless. You're going to starve.

Two of you are just going to make it regardless. You're going to starve. Two of you are just going to make it, but you're born fucking ready to go. Giraffes, they're like they're born and they're like helpless for like three minutes and then they're like, alright, the strong of you will survive. But humans, we're born fucking helpless for years. So you need

a dude to stick around. So you need some institution that fucking, you know, keeps the dude there and says, look, before you go search for other puss-puss, you gotta help me here with your kid to raise this fucking thing. Do you think, and I don't know if there's any way to prove this, and I've never read a book on it, do you think

when we were, like, when we were in, like, Neanderthals becoming like, modern Homo sapiens, do you think, like... We were never Neanderthals. Well, okay, do you think... Fucking were never neon thoughts well okay do you think fucking wild the actual the real story is fucking wild well i thought well yeah well the homo sapiens killed off the neon thoughts right because we're just fucked but now now they're saying it wasn't just killed off they fucked they they've probably killed a lot of them um but fucked a lot of them

too they just found out that all white dudes isis can Google this. Can you Google this? Pretty much all dudes who have European ancestry, basically white dudes, have like 3 or 4 or 5% Neanderthal DNA. Wow. So I do. And African, people who have African ancestry only, have zero. So what does that mean? It means we're fucking two types of fucking... But actually, the Neanderthals weren't that vicious.

They were not that vicious. They were stronger and bruder. The Homo sapiens were vicious. The Homo sapiens were bruder. And a lot of them probably died just from the same way a lot of the native people in native lands died. Sickness and... Just from being exposed to the germs.

There was probably a lot of Neanderthal tribes who came in contact with Homo sapiens. And the germs of Homo sapiens, when you travel, they hadn't built up an immunity and just fucking died off like most of the indians died off most of the native americans right the the tribes that were here died off not from genocide right just fucking exposure to germs but so what i was nature is brutal and that's why I love a hyena It just represents the brutality of it And it just represents the chaos of nature But what I was going to ask you is Do you think that Can you look that up by us about the DNA

A team of scientists comparing the full genomes Of the two species concluded That most Europeans and Asians Have approximately 2% Neanderthal DNA 2% oh I didn't know it was the Asios too oh wow asians and whites we're fucking neanderthals are vicious too yeah vicious on canal street yeah but but not africans right not africa yes interesting so yo maybe the israelites are right yo maybe we're evil cuz

we are evil how we are evil i mean come on obviously the whites are evil. Honk the donks are evil, yeah. There's no, you'll never get an argument from me about, you know, even though I'm white, like, yeah, I know my people for a long time are pieces of garbage. Yeah, but everybody, but you know what? We're joking about that, but I, you know, people take that seriously. They say, fucking everyone's a piece of garbage. Yeah. All people have been pieces of garbage. Anyone in power over other people is always a fucking piece of garbage.

Even if they're the same ethnicity, same color, same religion. The fuck? People have always killed one another because we are fucking at our baseline. No different from that fucking disgusting animal I'm staring at over your shoulder. We're the same thing as a hyena. We're, you know. But do you think when babies, when like an early, the earliest Homo sapien gave birth to a baby, do you think that their development took as long as it does today?

Or do you think nature sped them up too? Like a baby, now a baby, average baby walks like 11.2 months. Do you think back in the day they were walking at four months? I don't think so. Is that possible? I don't think so. We think we were always vulnerable as babies. Yeah.

Why are we the only animals, or one of the only animals, that are so fucking vulnerable like that? Because we've got big brains. Because we figured out with dogs, and that's why dogs... You underestimate the role of dogs. A lot of people don't understand it.

That's why I don't understand anyone who eats dogs. Without dogs, we wouldn't be here. Dogs protected us and gave us the chance to develop these big brains. We would not be here dogs protected us and gave us the chance to develop these big brains We would not be a species without the domesticated dog. We chose each other It's because they want you to watch us as babies wild animals Right what would have been happening is would have been happening for hundreds of thousands years before the before the domestication of dogs Which was when they were just wolves we were getting fucking plucked off by by lions by hy, by hyenas, by fucking rhinos, by everything.

We were not the apex predator. For most of our history as a species, we were not the apex predator. So we were living in the golden age of human development, right? The only reason we were able to develop, become agrarian, and then eventually have an industrial revolution and become a civilization and have empires that spanned large land masses is because of our relationship with dogs. Wow. So if you're out there and you don't like dogs. The jobs that dogs do for us enabled us the time to sit there and develop this neocortex that you often speak of. That is just a fact.

That's just what happened. Yeah. They sounded the alarm when lions were coming. They defended us against lions. They scared them off. Some of them were even bred to kill lions. You know, Rhodesian Ridgebacks are bred to fucking kill

lions. Basenjis in large packs would attack lions. Lions used to fucking kill us bad. How could a Rhodesian Ridgeback kill a lion? Were they huge? Confidence. We trained them for it. So they just eat a lion.

They love the humans so much. No, a lot of them would die in the process. But when you have 10 of them attacking one lion, it scares them off. A lot of times it's like a settle at a court situation. Didn't even go to trial. Lion comes around. Fucking 20 dogs come at it. A couple of them get killed.

A couple of them get killed or the lion just says it's not fucking worth it and bounces. And the humans were able to have that security. Like, you ever notice the societies that flourish so much,

great thinkers or whatever, it's, that's why politics is so important to, to, to thinking and stuff like that because,

and laws and political philosophy and things because you need to have a stable society in order for science to flourish and you need to have rights. you need to have a stable society in order for science to flourish. And you need to have rights. You need to have laws so fucking Einstein can sit there and feel safe.

If you're not feeling safe, you're not thinking about, you know, the ethereal. You're not thinking about metaphysics. Here's liberal safe space, Giannis. Yeah, if you think some tribe's coming to kill you and you're not fucking, you don't have a safe space. Here's safe space, fucking protest picket head Giannis. It's just true. And dogs did that for us. And maybe marriage in some way.

Is your dog? Is your wife's your dog? Is society's dog in the sense that it gives us stability, unifies us, unifies families, provides the child with a stable, safe environment to grow. Because you ever notice, people who, people, you ever date a girl who's got daddy issues,

cuz? Broken home shit? You know what I mean? That would be my advice. Never fucking marry a girl whose dad doesn't hug her. There is truth to that, cuz. Let me tell you something.

You just went on a 10 minute rant, and if at the end of that rant, if you and our listeners aren't sure that you are in fact a transsexual, I don't fucking know what else more evidence you need. You're a trans. I'm a trans. Yeah, you're a trans. I'm a true blue T.

I'm a TBT, true blue trans. Yeah, cuz, listen. Marriage, like you said, it's been around a long, long time. It's been around since about 1250. AD or BC? Recorded. Well, CE.

What does CE mean? What does CE mean, Zach Isis? Well, Zach doesn't, he doesn't deal with, they don't, Isis doesn't deal with times and borders. They just want it all. Yeah. He won't know. They want one Muslim world. That's all they want.

They want to kill all the infidels. Yeah. Yeah. They like to pretend like jihad is just a spiritual journey. Yeah. You're not like, I think you're killing fucking Christians. Kill them all.

What is CE? Common Era. Common Era. And what does that mean? So like BCE before Common Era. Oh, so even before. Yeah. So instead of saying BC or AD,

they'll just say BCE or CE. Yeah, I think it's one of those things where people don't want to say like before Christ and stuff. So they made like a C. Oh, it's a fucking political. It's a political crack. Yeah. It's one of those things where people don't want to say like before christ and stuff so they made like oh it's a fucking political correct because some of us don't recognize christ so it wasn't bc it was ce the gender neutral term for time yeah yeah and i think ad is supposed to be ce oh i got you so it's still so it's 1250 so it's like between 1250 and 300 is the first sort of evidence of marriage 1250 and 1300 1300 that's fucking wild because we think about that yeah but it's a long time ago but it's not that it's not like it's 700 years ago yeah

but that's just middle english uh they they suspect that from traditions and burials and archaeology and all that stuff that marriage has, like we said at the beginning of this, the first humans, it goes back that far. Were Adam and Eve married? Well, I don't know. Do they have premarital sex?

You're the Catholic. You tell me. I don't know. Did you black that part out? Yeah, brother Ferris. Maybe Ferris was like, come upstairs,

Chris. I'm going to teach you about the first marriage. And you went up there. And then that's when you blacked out. Now I'm going to marry my penis right into your arse crack Arse Yeah what is it were they married I don't know I forgot the story

But look to be honest with you here's what it is with me I had a baby first I had a baby out of wedlock And to be honest it's kind of You didn't even make your cross when you said that Jesus Christ Should we put on some freestyle beats and Hail Marys Or no you're good be honest it's kind of you didn't even make your cross when you said that oh jesus christ sorry you want to give should we put on some freestyle beats and hail marys or no you're good yeah yeah you think your soul's good no i gotta that's a sin cuz yeah that's a fucking sin i know you know

it's wild i know that you've you've become sort of a enlightened kind of renaissance thinker but i could still see the i could torture you with the guilt of that. It's still, it's in there. It was programmed in you in such a young age that if I wanted to fuck with you, like you fucked with me sometimes because you know I'm a paranoid Greek and you told me that you worked for the FBI a few times. You're like, what if me and Brittany, your fiancee, worked for the FBI? And I laughed it off in the back of my head. I'm going, yo, is this the Truman Show?

Is fucking, is Chris an FBI agent? Like, I'm a little paranoid. Greeks are paranoid, bad. But Catholics, guilty, bad. Bad. No? I'm a little paranoid. Greeks are paranoid, bad. But Catholics? Guilty. Bad. Bad. No, I'm telling you.

So I could see it in your face. You were going like, shit, it is wrong. I'm bad. You want to take that belt off and fucking whip yourself right now. Yeah, I want to fucking, yeah. You want to flog yourself. I got to flog myself because I had premarital sex. No, but because I had my child, I feel like the only way you marry someone,

well, I would only get married if like the love that I feel for my daughter, the love that I have is the only time I can ever say like, I love this person truly as much as I love myself. And it wouldn't even be a thought. It would be a millisecond if you were like, it's either your life or your daughter's life. I would give my life for her in a fucking heart it just wouldn't it's true

it's just like a true love so how can I marry someone and justify saying I want to give my whole everything to you if I don't feel what I feel that I felt with my daughter with anyone else because I feel like people get married because like oh I believe in true love this is what you love but once you have your child you're like

oh no that's nothing this is the true love yeah this is and we have to work as a team to preserve because the mother feels a true love for the child just like i feel the true love for the child even more probably even more because it can actually physically came out of her body um but so my whole thing is i know people say well there's different kinds of love i get all that but i'm talking about the emotional response it would take for me to want to give my life to someone. It would have to be, now that I felt actual love having a daughter, it would have to be so significant and earth-shaking and life-changing for me to make that decision. I just wouldn't do it. A lot of people do it, I think, because they get married and then they have a child. And then sometimes you'll see things start to go bad quick. And I think after a child,

obviously it's very stressful to have a child because you're not having sex anymore, you're not sleeping, all your focus now is on the child and not on each other anymore. But I think another part of that is because they start to feel like, wow, I love this child so much,

guess who I don't love that much? My wife or my husband. Or I don't love them as much as I thought I did. Well, that's a great point. Am I talking you talking you out of marriage because i don't want to no no no because i already know i already thought about all this because i've already canceled the weekend to be at your engagement party you know me because i think i beat i beat things to death in my brain because your fiance is a great pick i'll explain to you what i feel like i've learned and what you're saying is i mean obviously true obviously true, right? Those things happen.

That's what happens, right? And so that's why I think when you marry someone, you have to consider, you know, you need to do it at a time when you're ready, when you're mature, when you understand what you're going to be giving up and why, and what you want. Do you want this?

Do you want a family? Do you want to? And if those answers are yes, then you need to find a person who you feel like you can go the long distance with. And what that means is find someone who compliments you. You know, there's this fucking theory that you're supposed to be with someone who challenges you. That's bullshit.

All right? We've all been in a relationship with someone who challenges us. It's called an abusive fucking relationship. It's not a game of tetherball. You're starting a company. You're basically starting a company and you need a partner you need a partner your marriage is a company your kids are going to be your fucking profit margin or whatever right and you need someone who you work well together and who's independent and self-sufficient and you two people are going

to provide services to this company and and comfort each other and just feel feel happy alone with each other. Right. Because that's what the long-term one is, is that you feel comfortable being alone with somebody and that person feels the same way. And that's the mature way to do it. So what I'm basically saying is I do believe in love and I do believe that is love. I believe that's mature love.

I believe that's that marriage type of love. Okay. I think there's different types of love and a lot of people get married with that immature type of love. I believe that's that marriage type of love. I think there's different types of love and a lot of people get married with that immature type of love. We in America especially have celebrated the immature love because of romantic movies and horse shit. You know what I mean?

It warps our mind like porn does with sex. Exactly. Actually, that's a great point. It's a fucking great point. That's exactly a great analogy because that's what it does. It warps your mind into thinking that that's mature love. Immature love is great. The sex is a fucking great point that's exactly that's a great analogy because that's what it does it warps your mind into thinking that that's mature love immature love is great the sex is always fucking great like if zach what was there a jewish girl you know that that romeo and juliet type of love absolutely forbidden but you know you have that connection and it's it's it's tense it feels like a drug addiction the sex is good the smells are good yeah you but when you get older

you know those are always going to end because they're just they're meant to end absolutely they're meant and they don't have the legs to go the long run you don't marry that person right because those are going to fucking and you two are going to change and you're meant to be together to learn something it's usually very selfish that level but we don't want to admit it it's something in that person that we want and that's why we admire them and then once we get it it changes and it blows up and they're great and then you feel you get hurt and you need to feel that too. Because you learn. And you need to have those relationships when you're young and you need to go through those.

So you're saying you want to marry, you should be marrying your business partner. It's a business transaction. But not, yeah, partly. But you also have to be in a place where you understand that and you accept that. Right. You know, when you have those immature loves, it's just like, you're not even thinking, you're not even planning, you just fucking want to be with that person. Yeah.

You know, you're banging them eight times a day. You know, all that heavy shit, that's going to end. It's too intense. Right. In nature, you can't have something. Nature is always seeking balance. Right. So if you're way up there, you're going to fall way down here.

And what I noticed- And the mature brain knows you're looking for this, the steady. And what I noticed too, a big successful relationship, why I think you're in fall way down here and what i know the mature brain knows you're looking for this the steady and what i noticed too a big successful relationship why i think you're in a successful relationship is you don't get in each other's way at all you can go out and do whatever you want and she can go out and do whatever she wants when you guys meet each other back at the apartment everything's usually fine well because she under we trust each other and she understands that actually the only person that she ever accused you of ever cheating on you is me because fucking our smoothie dates and guess what she was right but yeah we're two independent people she's very mature I'm mature and we both want the same things and we're both comfortable

in our own spaces yeah we're comfortable together so it's like it has legs yeah it's just like I know daddy is yes. It's just like, I know. And she got no daddy issues. That's another one. Wow. Yeah. I was even going to leave that. I forgot about that.

She got no daddy issues. That's huge. Huge. And I think that goes both ways. Absolutely. You don't want to be with a guy who has mommy issues. No. It goes both ways.

If you got, if your girl has daddy issues and you as the guy have mommy issues, it's a fucking train wreck of a relationship. Train wreck. It ain't going to work. Fucking train wreck. It ain't going to work. That person is looking to get something from you that they didn't get, that a human, a sensitive, homo sapien during his formative years needs, and that's hugs.

Hugs. And if you miss hugs, I know it's an old joke. Every comics make joke. She missed a couple hugs. She ended up on the pole, like Chris Rock says. There's truth to it. Truth to that. There's truth to it.

Well, what'd they say? What was the protest, the gun violence protest? Wasn't they saying hands are for hugging? What were they saying? Wasn't it today? Oh, that was yesterday. The march for... Yeah, march for gun violence. He didn't see it. He was too busy building bombs in his basement. I was at the march for guns. Yeah, he was too

busy planning a fucking attack at the march. He was in the basement, yeah. He was trying to put together IEDs. He was protesting. He was trying to map out the routes. Yeah, no, dude. Well, look. I mean, I'm happy to be going to your fucking wedding. Is there going to be any single ladies there?

There probably will be single ladies. Yeah. But yeah, they've... Well, yeah. The thing about marriages throughout history is as interesting as that. As we said, as the industrial revolution happened, that enabled the middle class and that begot

and the middle class begot sort of big weddings for everybody, you know, and this marriage industry. Before, it was just the upper class would have these big ones. The church was always involved and then the lower class people would do something in their house or something very informal.

The rings, the engagement rings, have been around supposedly since Rome. That's crazy. And the ring symbolizes infinity, because a circle goes around, so we're going to be together forever. So the rings, the marriage rings too, have always been a thing,

but in sort of the Victorian era, in England, that area, whatever, the British Empire, I don't fucking know. Right? The poor people, the people who were not that upper echelon of nobility, they used to split a coin. Okay. They'd split a coin, and the groom would take half the coin, the bride would take the other half of the coin. That was it? That was what they did in place of the rings. The little different customs are interesting.

Yeah. Because they vary from socioeconomic status, and they also vary between cultures. Yeah. But it's all the same shit. It's like everyone has different religions, but it's all the same shit. Most of the religions, the differences are cultural, really. That's all it is. Yeah.

Even the white dresses, that wasn't always a thing. Women before the 1860s used to get, or I think 1840s, used to get married in whatever dress, the nicest dress they had. That's right. And the dress that they would sometimes get married in would be the dress they got buried in. Exactly, because they only had one nice dress. They only had one nice dress. And it could be black.

Actually, most women used to get married in black dresses. That's right. That's what it was. And it was Queen Victoria. Is that Prince Albert, right? Yeah. Exactly. And it was Queen Victoria.

Prince Albert, right? Yeah, exactly. She got married in a white dress, and then that started the fucking craze of everyone wanting a white dress, even though they were hard to maintain. Prince Albert. Does he have his dick pierced? Where does that come from, the piercing?

Can you just double check us on that? Was it Queen Victoria with the white dress? I think it was. Queen Victoria. I think Queen Victoria was the one. I'm almost paused. Yeah, who did that. the white dress? I think it was Queen Victoria. I think Queen Victoria was the one I'm almost pause. Yeah. Who did that?

It was once thought that a vein Yeah, it was Queen Victoria. That a vein or nerve ran directly from the ring finger of the left hand to the heart. To the heart. So that's why it goes on that finger. I knew that. You didn't know that? I didn't know that. See, I knew that part. That's because you're a true blue gay. Directly to the heart.

Only a true blue gay would know that. Yeah, I was born a TBG. Yeah, I don't know if a trans would know that. TBG. part yeah that's because you're a true blue gay directly to the heart only a true blue gay would know that a fucking yeah i was born a tbg yeah i don't know if a trans would know that tbg i'm a t i'm a t i'm a tbg a cws but i am not the ppw of the week i'm not the ppw that's rafael de lucas pseudopenias of the week and you know these are the different types of marriages throughout the years which is wild you had your common law marriages which is we still have those right yeah sort of an informal marriage like you've been together for so long, it's just like... You get some benefits from that, right? But is it legal, though? I think, yeah.

It's a legal network that makes you married, but you're not officially married, so you don't get all the benefits. What is... Yeah, I don't know what exactly... What the... I guess that would vary whatever the laws were in whatever land you're in. Right. Then you had your cousin marriage. That's a marriage between cousins.

Third cousins is legal, right? Yo, there's 26 states. There's 26 states in this country. Okay. That allow first cousin marriages. First cousins? First cousins. Are a majority of them in the South?

That's not a joke. Is that just a fact? Is that a... Well, that's going to be a fact that we're going to Google right now. Oh, I thought you had the states. Yeah, I don't know the states. There's 26 states where you can marry your first cousin. Where's it legal to marry your first cousin in the United States?

And then endogami was the tradition of marrying within the limits of a local community. That's probably like, I'm pretty inbred. I mean, I'm from two islands and my mom's from a small village. My ancestors are probably all kaziwazis. Probably. Kaziwazis for a ancestors are probably all Kaziwazis. Probably. Kaziwazis for a long time. First Kaziwazis. And that's why probably Scandinavian, that it smelled, because I need some fresh jades.

Yeah, you're trying to get some northern juice. Yeah. Get off the island. Get off the island, right? Yeah. They're somewhere if both cousins are just of a certain age, like 50 years old, they can get married. both cousins are just of a certain age,

like 50 years old, they can get married. But it's allowed in a lot of them. Alabama, Alaska, California, Colorado. Alaska's probably out of necessity. A lot of places. Yeah, a lot of those places. It probably happens a lot in places out of necessity. Small villages.

Have you ever been to Alaska? Never. We should do a comedy show in Alaska. If you're a fan of ours and you live in Alaska, let us know and we'll come out and do a comedy show by you. We will. And we'll bring smoothies. Oh, yeah. I would love ours and you live in Alaska, let us know and we'll come out and do a comedy show about you. We will. And we'll bring a smoothies. Oh, yeah. I would love to have a smoothies.

Do they have smoothies in Alaska? Yeah, they're probably all fucking sprayed with halibut. Yeah. They got a lot of moose running around up there. Yeah, I want to see a moose. Yeah, you could just call out your door. If you live in Alaska, you could just wake up one morning to get the paper and there'd be two fucking male mooses fighting on your lawn.

Yeah, but it also depends what part of Alaska, because Alaska is so fucking huge. It's huge. You can't just go to Alaska. You have to become Alaska. I know. It's a huge place. Yo, Alaska has so few peeps that live there. They actually, if you are someone of note, if you have a trade, if you're a

veterinarian or a doctor, they will pay you. The government of Alaska will pay you to move there. Really? Fucking wild. What about if you're a TBG? Let's look it up. I mean, hopefully. Polygamy, obviously the practice of having more than one spouse. We know that the Mormons

did that. I think a lot of sects of Islam do polygamy too. I got three wives waiting on me right now. Right now in heaven. If you kill enough Jews. No, that's 72. 72 virgins right yeah you got to kill jews to get that though right it has to be a jew if there was like an islamic video game that would be the top level it's like how many jew heads you get 20 you get your prize 72

virgins and then um and then same-sex marriages which is new the same-sex marriage is new yeah like that that was something that wasn't around. Marriage has been around since the beginning of time. But same-sex marriage? Very new. That's TBN. True Blue New. True Blue New.

That's True Blue New. And that just came out... I mean, when was the first same-sex marriage legal? Like, just 10 years ago, right? At least in America? In... France, they've had it for a long time. No.

America was much more recent. Who's the first What country was the first same sex marriage I think it was Norway Norway correct Netherlands December 1st December 21st

August 2001 2001 And see isn't that a coincidence August 2001 First same sex marriage Three weeks later him and his people And see, isn't that a coincidence? August 2001, first same-sex marriage. Three weeks later, him and his people fucking crashed planes into the Twin Towers. How crazy is that? Dude, we're making connections that nobody's made on this cast.

Do you think that doesn't make sense? That pissed off Muhammad Atta and his fucking friends. Bin Laden couldn't have that shit, so he said, death to America. That's why they did it. That's why they did it, bro. I confirmed the connection. See? Yo,

how come nobody's made that connection? Fucking Zachy Ice's face. Just, you know, he, I think Zach Ice's face, I think that he wants to get out and he's trying to get out and he's trying to give us like little clues on things on how to uncover the mystery of what it is.

But I don't know. He's stuck. Cause I don't know why he's stuck in right now, but he wants to come out. He's doing reconnaissance. No, he's not. That's just a trade don't know. He's stuck. I don't know why he's stuck in right now, but he wants to come out. He's doing reconnaissance. No, he's not. That's just a trade. He's doing reconnaissance.

He may be a double agent. I think maybe he's a double agent for the FBI. He was in ISIS. Then the FBI got him out. Now he's back in ISIS, giving information back to the FBI. It's a smart way to do it. You get checks from two different people. Yeah.

Here's a fun little fact. The notion of marriage as a sacrament can be traced back to St. Paul who compared the relationship of a husband and a wife to that of Christ and his church. Okay.

Adam and Eve were married, by the way. They were? Where'd they get married? TJF Friday? They didn't have a lot of money. There was no ceremony or anything. There was no actual you're married. But this is actually a pretty hot issue, by the way, if you look it up. Because sex before marriage is not allowed, just by creating Eve, God married them.

So just with the creation of her, they were married. That's a fucking rationalization. That guy didn't have to go to fucking do wedding planning. Jesus didn't have to sit through wedding planning. That's not real. Yeah. Unless you got to go through wedding planning and have your fiance break your balls about who's your groomsman?

Did you get the taxes? Tell me about the DJ. Are we going to have a band? You didn't get fucking married. Right? Because that's why men die first. That's why we fucking die first yeah always going to war pope nicholas the first declared in 866 in the consent

be lacking in a marriage all other celebrations even should the union be consummated are rendered void and so this shows the importance of a couple's consent to marriage so before that it did you didn't really have to have consent you know what what I mean? Like we were talking about before. It was just more like, hey, this is going to be my wife. You know, her family sold her to me for 20 fucking barrels of wheat, and this is going to be my broad.

After that, after Mr. fucking Pope Nicholas, a Catholic poop, said, hey, look, consent is a thing. Chick's got to be into it, too. And so then it became a thing like, hey, we both want to be here, or both our parents arranged for us to be here.

Right, right. And so in Western civilization, that's when consent is sort of, you know, boom, stamped. Got it. In a Roman times. Holy Roman Empire. Yeah. In the different parts of the world, they do shit yeah that's what it is i mean indian weddings are fucking wild elephants it lasts for days don't they dance around a fire and shit i think they dance around a fire at an indian

wedding i didn't know they danced around a fire no i'm talking about uh indians from uh south asia i'm not talking about the uh native america no I'm talking about 7-Eleven Indians. 7-Eleven Indians? Yeah, yeah. They dance around a fire. I've been a cop. If progressive people heard that, that's a problem with a poo moment. I was just kidding. Can you not just say 7-Eleven?

He's a software engineer from the Valley Indians. Sorry. A doctor Indian working at the Weill Cornell Institute. Do you guys know I was totes my goats kidding. I respect everyone. Hashtag global citizen. Global.

No, I'm... Also, Quaker weddings were fucking wild. Quaker weddings are fucking wild. Yeah, what? Actually, my favorite probably, the tradition of Quaker wedding. First of all... When you look up around that fire thing, I'm curious though, because I didn't know that. No, it's true.

It's true. Tell us about Indian weddings, Zach. First of all... Oh, you've been to one? Yeah. You banged somebody out Quaker wedding. Can you look up around that fire thing? I'm curious though because I didn't know that. No, it's true. Tell us about Indian wedding sex. First of all... Oh, you've been to one? Yeah. You banged somebody out at that wedding. I banged a couple Indian girls. At the wedding? Yep. When they were wearing those yellow garbs and all that shit? Everything. I had sex. They pull out. They got

fucking six arms. Yeah. No. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. No, yeah. Indian women are gorgeous. I love Indian women women and they're good at sex with the kama sutra stuff they look and they that's another episode we got to do the history of kama sutra you know what's good too about about uh you know asian women you know whether it be you know asia proper or or south asia they are very submissive towards men they they come from that culture most of them mean, maybe not the more Americanized ones,

but like women who I've met who are like truly from there, their culture, it's been ingrained in them that they were like, we need to please the man. So like they will do anything you want, anything you want sexually,

they're down for because they just feel like they got to please men. Asian seems to have that. Asia seems to have that too. Asia is a beautiful part of the world. Should we go to Asia, cuz? Yeah. Seriously, you want to do comedy in Hong Kong? I got to connect or we could go to Hong Kong. Yeah. Asia seems to have that, too. Asia's a beautiful part of the world. Should we go to Asia, cuz? Yeah.

Seriously, you want to do comedy in Hong Kong? I got to connect, but we could go to Hong Kong. Yeah. You want to do it? Have you ever had sex with Asian women? Yeah, yeah. I've had sex with everybody. Is it the same thing?

Submissive? Like, submissive? Very submissive. Yeah, they fucking... You could do whatever you want. You could fucking blow your goo in their eyelids. They don't care. You are a fucking wild one.

You think I'm wild? Yeah, wild. Yeah, no. But it's truthful. I mean, it's truthful. It's truthful. think I'm wild? Yeah, wild. But it's truthful. I mean, it's truthful. Tell us about Quaker weddings, quick. Quaker weddings are fucking wild, dude. You went to a Quaker school. I went to a Quaker school.

You're like the face of oatmeal. Shout out to Brooklyn Friends. Yeah. Oh, I want to send my kid there. Should I send my kid there? I recommend Quaker schools. I dig Quakers. Besides all the weird religious shit, they're dope because they have like no clergy, no...

It's all about sitting in silence, being peaceful, that you have meetings. It's sort of like meditating. Everyone just sits... When I went to Quaker school... Why'd you go to Quaker school? Did you grow up Quaker? It was just... No.

It was just... That was the school. That was the private school your parents sent you to. They just sent me to that private school. Yeah. And yeah, it was Quaker school, Brooklyn Friends. I gotta send my kids to private school, right? If I got the cash?

I mean, well, it's not like it was when I was a kid, cuz. When I was a kid, a year maybe cost you 10 grand, 14 grand. Now it's about 40 grand. It's fucking crazy. Yeah. The same thing with colleges. But if I got the cash, though. 50 grand a year, private schools.

Cuz if I got the cash, do I need to send baby D to private school? Is that in New York City? Yeah. I would. All right. I would. I mean, to private school? Is that in New York City? Yeah. I would. I would. I mean, there's some good public schools and a few good Catholics, but Catholic schools always make something a little wild. No?

Yeah. I mean, I went to Catholic school. Look at me. I'm sucking dicks. So what's a good thing at a Quaker wedding? And then I want to read the Patreon names. They're all about the silent weddings. What do you mean?

So you've been to a Quaker wedding? No, it's all the same, though. The meetings, like every morning. Okay. This is a wedding we're all about the silent they're all about the silent weddings what do you mean so you've been to a quaker wedding they're all about no it's all the same though like the meetings like every morning okay um this is a wedding we're talking no but i'm just giving you the quick background to tell you about the quakers okay quakers do every day we did at school we'd get together and have a silent meeting so we'd sit in silence for like 10-15 minutes every day silent meeting and then once a week the whole school would gather for 45 minutes and sit in silence if you farted in that it was the funniest thing that's ever happened in my life. And it still rings when my friend farted in a silent meeting with the whole school gathered

and the headmaster was sitting right in front and he looked behind us with that angry pre-coffee face. It was one of the funniest things that's ever happened in my life. So that's what the Quakers are. And you sit in silence and they say nobody speaks unless God moves them to speak. So you can stand up and share something if you want. Did you ever do that? Rarely happens. I never did, no.

We would hold in laughter. Yeah. You know, some teacher, and then we'd laugh at whoever stood up, you know. Yeah. But here's how Quaker weddings work. Bride and groom get together, right? Okay. Boom.

There's really no ceremony or whatever. They just kind of sit there and for about an hour everyone sits in silence and the bride and groom just stare at each other and after about an hour or so they're married what how fucking beautiful is that so you're just sitting there staring at this person every fear every passion every thought must fly deep mate your head probably even goes off another you just sit in silence across from each other stare at each other for an hour boom and then they have some ceremony shit and then you're done boom you're married're married. But that's the ceremony. That's a Quaker ceremony. Where do Quakers live right now?

Just in like Pennsylvania and like shit? Yeah, there's Quakers in Pennsylvania, you know. Like a Quaker. Okay, but the Quakers now, do they dress a certain way and still like have a certain like garb that they wear? Or like could somebody be a Quaker on the train and you just wouldn't know it? Totally Quaker on the train. One of my good friends was a Quaker. Quaker on the train?

Normal dude. Yeah, normal dude. He's a normal. He's a TBG. He's a TBG. Well,aker on the train. One of my good friends was a Quaker. Quaker on the train? Normal dude. Yeah, normal dude. He's a normal, he's a TBG. Well, Quakers eat healthy. Well, he did. I was just saying he was eating healthy. His parents were just like new wave Quakers. And there are Quaker sects still around where they kind of probably... I mean, if there's a Quaker school in Brooklyn, it must be Quaker.

No, that's just because they're so old and that's where they were founded by Quakers. The same thing like you go to Long Island Jewish Hospital or Presbyterian. It's just a hospital now. Same thing with Quaker school. But there are still Quaker sets. There's still Mennonite sets. Pennsylvania has a lot of them.

Well, the Amish and the Mennonites, I know. But can you find a Quaker in New York? Is there a Quaker society in New York City? I mean, I'm sure you can. I mean, his finger's going to be bleeding. Do you want to go find Quakers right now? Let's go find a Quaker, too. Did you find an answer to that fucking fire thing?

Yeah, I couldn't find anything about a dancing around fire, but everything I read said Indian weddings are an affair not to miss. A couple of days long. Yeah, no, it was a good time. I don't know. The one I was at that started dancing around a fire. They had a fire going on? I'm not going to lie to you guys.

You sure it wasn't just cold out and people were making s'mores? Maybe I was. I didn't even know how close I was to being sacrificed. Maybe that was. That's right. Sacrificing the white kid. Alright. So thank you guys so much for your continued Patreon support, being a part of our cosmunity, joining our channel,

the Patreon channel. Go to Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. Our newest members want to shout you out right now. We got Geronimo Hanson. Geronimo? Geronimo. Good name, kid. That's in Native now. We got Geronimo Hanson. Geronimo? Geronimo. Good name, kid. That's in Native Americans. Yeah, Geronimo. He could have some very liberal parents who are like, you know what happened to the Native

Americans was wrong, and we're going to name you Geronimo. We're going to name you Geronimo. Geronimo Hanson? Geronimo Hanson. Oh, yeah. He's a true blue gay. Eric Bernal. Eric Bernal?

Eric Bernal. Bernal. That means his family did some bad things back then. That's how they get that name. Eric Bernal did some work. Burn did some bad things back then. That's how they get that name. Eric Bernal. Burned some people in a church. He burned Geronimo Hanson. Could have been on the boat.

The boat they put him on off in New York to burn him. Oh, yeah. The POWs. On the POW boats, yeah. Nico Fringe Society. Nico's a Greek. Nico's a Greek. Fringe Society.

I don't know. It's just a... Triple gay. Triple gay. Triple gay. A triple gay. And send just a... Triple gay. Triple gay. Triple gay. A triple gay. And, you know, send us a potential PBW of next week. Derek Paradis.

Parades. Greek. Derek Paradis. Greek. He's a Greek. Derek Paradis. Thank you. Welcome.

Thank you. Thank you. Uh-oh. This next guy, Chris Gregg. Two first names. Two first names. They say you can't trust a guy with two first names. But Chris Gregg, if you want us to trust us, send us your dad.

It's a good baseball name. That is a good name. Chris Gregg. Yeah, behind the plate, Chris Gregg. Or it's a good Southern politician. It's a good racist Republican name. Chris Gregg. Chris Gregg.

Vote Chris Gregg. Pro-life. Anyone who objects the laws of segregation, stand up now. Otherwise, hold your peace. We are passing Amendment 16. Five to four. Thank you. Austin M.

Is next. Just Austin M. DJ. Probably DJ. 100%. Yeah. Up and then, thank God, we're ending on the luck of the Irish. Sean Walsh.

Sean Walsh. Sean Walsh. True blue gay. True blue gay. Thank you for your service, cuzzy wuzzies. Thank you guys so much for listening. Check me out on Instagram and Twitter at ChrisDComedy.

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you get all those videos and our bonus podcast. And how great is it to get shouted out, huh? Cuz he was each. It's great to get shouted out and also join our Instagram page at Bay Ridge Boys.

That's right. Yes. Thank you so much for listening. Stay gay. Stay married. Thank you. Bye. ស្រូវតែលាប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប�