History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 86 - Weekends are WILD!

Episode Date: September 8, 2019

The Hyenas get into how we got Saturdays off and the future of the American work week. They are joined by a friend of the pod who came in to take some behind the scenes photos. Chris quickly nicknames him, Hot Guy Alex, and things get really WILD.Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

ប្រូវប្រូវប់ប់ប្រូវប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ What's up to our matriarchy toots, non-toots, everybody who's out there tuning into the History Hyenas. What a special day. It's Labor Day. That's what our episode's about. But more importantly, we got a full fucking house full house and for the first hot guys hot chicks and you the more stressed you get the hotter you get yeah when i get stressed i fall apart yeah for for the first time in a long time it's finally it's rainy it's cloudy it's in the low 70s you know what we call that a sunny day in the hike and i'm really excited because make no mistake, we got a full crew here. We got the hot new guy Alex is here. So I'm fucking

horned up because we got a hot guy in here with a camera on my face and it's German weather. Nothing could be better. Yeah, it's a good day for you and also for a couple weeks, more specifically one pure week. We live in a world where Donnie Trump's immigration laws kept Zach outside of the great laws of

this country. But now we've been fucking invaded. Yeah. Because the Supreme Court vetoed. Yeah. Our executive order to get the muzzies out. He's back. Yeah.

Zach's back with paint on his jeans and more hair on his shoulders. Yeah. And he's also got brass knuckles for sale to all the people out there who want brass knuckles and switchblade. And he's got switchblades and brass knuckles, which is a straight. That's like a request from the 1960s street gangs. Yeah, I mean, make no mistake. We're different, man.

I mean, Giannis walked in here with a smoothie. I walked in here with an oatmeal with peanut butter. And Zach walked in with brass knuckles for sale. The first thing he said to me, I haven't seen a kid in a month. And he goes, if you know anyone who needs brass knuckles and switchblades. We're not even joking. He goes, if you need, he's like, I got a surplus of brass knuckles and switch plates.

And I was like, you know what? I'm not in a gang in 1952, so I don't know who to give those to. There's no reason for me to do that, cuz, make no mistake, my allergies are acting up again, but it's silent allergies, so I have sneezes that are stuck in my sinuses and I feel very dizzy and loopy.

So there's a chance I could go down. Mike, get the nets ready. Or Mike, just stand behind him. So if he falls, he falls on a cushion. Yeah, like if I had to do sets right now, make no mistake, I would fall down. I felt like I was, I almost passed out throwing hands with Gassy today, which by the way, Gassy wants to come on the podcast. Yeah, well, Gassy, little does he know, he's been on the Patreon for a couple of months now.

Yeah, Gassy asked me today what state Indianapolis was in. Yeah, because it's just what it is. He's just going to make it to the city one of these days. Yeah, he said, you ever do shows out there in Indianapolis? And I said, no, I haven't in a while. He goes, yeah, I'm thinking about going out there. What state is at it again? And I said, the key is in the first few letters of the name.

Indianapolis. Yeah, the city. It's like saying, where's New York City? It's in New York State. Paulie, I know you're a fucking probably, you don't know how to listen to this thing, but you're a fucking FF. You're Franks and Beats.

Yeah, he's more FNB Incorporated, and we're a couple of FFs who are borderline FNB. We're borderline FNB. FNB Incorporated. No, Paulie G's a man who threw hands today. Mikey's here. Vanity is here. Zachy's here. Alex, the new hot guy, is here. Is my nickname Yanni

Faints or Yanni Nets? I like to call you Yanni Nets. Yanni Nets, because when I perform, we've got to get the Nets out. Yeah, when you perform, you've got to get the Nats out. Yeah. Yeah. You know, we got a full house in the hot guys here when Chris is already getting the cackles going. Yeah, the cackles are coming out because make no mistake, I say that's fucking German weather and I'm horned up.

Yeah, here's the deal. We released a Patreon recently. If this kid keeps sitting with his legs crossed like that, he's going to get punched through. I'm going to fucking punch him through his ass. Because that turns me on when guys sit like that because it means that they're insightful, they're thoughtful, and they like to read. And make no mistake, I'll get my head into that prostate bed. Cuz, he's making it look like a lap. He's inviting you with the way he's sitting.

Yeah. Cuz, you're just going to hop in that. Yeah, I'm good. Cuz, your fucking lap looks like a lily pad and there's a fucking frog across the table. Yeah, I'm a toad. I want to fucking get in there. Cuz, I went to Medieval Times yesterday with my daughter, her brother, and my daughter's brother's father.

And he forgot his phone. I had to pay for everybody. Yeah, I'm sure that was... And it's just what it is. Yeah, I'm sure that was a little bit of a whoopsie accident. And it was just a fun thing to do. Yeah, I saw the picture. I said, there's one guy missing.

So, you know, it's just... It's just what it is. It's like when you look at that Back to the Future picture when he looks back in the past and people start disappearing. There's just one guy that's going to be missing in the future. There will be another guy at Medieval Times in 2024. Yeah, and it's just – And he'll have his baby with him.

No, we had a really good time. No, I mean, Medieval Times, you guys missed a fucking fun day. Our night, we were the black and white night. We made it to the finals. The green night beat the black and white night. And, you know And my daughter was upset But I explained to her that Sometimes the white knight can't win anymore

Yeah, I explained to her that The white knight would have won if it was all white Yeah Come on, I was just kidding Wow, Zach's got the He's got different Cantonese accents Oh wow He's got a chorus of Wei Zhongxing. Yeah, he got different Cantonese accents. Wei Zhongxing. Oh, wow.

He's got a chorus of Wei Zhongxing. And Venetia's here. And unfortunately, we're not going to be able to put Venetia's videos on our Instagram anymore because there's just a fucking slew of goddamn creeps that listen to our podcast. Yes. Who keep saying they want to punch you through. Yeah, it's just a problem. keep saying they want to punch you through. Yeah, it's just a problem.

Yeah, you cannot punch our intern through. Yeah, you're not allowed to punch any of the interns through. I'm the only one who can try to attempt to punch me through and make no mistake, I really like Vinatia, and then Alex showed up, and now I'm about Alex. I just want to lick his hairy asshole. I'm just kidding. Yeah, because you're just a kid that doesn't respect borders. You're like an illegal immigrant of talking.

There's a border there, and you just cross it. Yeah, because make no mistake. Because you're hiding in the fucking hood of an El Camino, and you just roll into the world. Yeah. All right? And you bypass the laws of this great country, and you break our fucking laws with your mouth. It's just what it is. Yeah, it's what it is.

It's just what it is because it's a German mindset. Yeah, I just have a German mindset, and I just want to take land. I want to take what's mine. Yeah, you do want to take what's yours, and you're an illegal kid, and it's getting hot in here, so I'm getting nervous for everyone who's ethnic in this room. Yeah, because it's- Because I'm seeing some sweat form on your forehead. I'm getting nervous.

Yeah, it started out as a really beautiful, crisp morning. And I was like, I'm happy. There's no problems. And now the temperature's going up little by little. And certain groups of people on our eastern hemisphere are getting less safe and less safe. It's just what it is. And they got a couple more months to live in fear. And then it's just, they can

come out. They can just come out. January, February, come out, have your carnivals, have your picnics. I got no problem with it. Yeah, a natural predator has been removed from the environment due to climate change. Yeah, due to climate change. Yeah, I mean hibernation. Yeah, it's just what it is. Yeah, and the thing is here's what I'm nervous about.

I was talking to Paulie today about it. I've been throwing hands, getting myself in good shape, hitting the bag hard. Paulie was like, you really hit the – Paulie said to me today, he said, you hit that bag like a fighter now. And I said, it's because I'm dealing with a lot of things, deep issues, that it's not actually a good thing. I'm just punching the bag because I'm just – I'm trying to get feelings out. But what I've noticed is what I'm worried about is because in the summertime, you're able to just drop LBs and get healthy. But in the wintertime, I don't want to go back to being a fucking true FF. So I got to prevent myself from doing that.

I may have to go keto like Tim Dillon. Yeah. Yeah, Tim Dillon is going to be on again because he just lives in L.A. now and he's got sunglasses on. And he thinks we're just going to do what he says apparently because he talks to Rogan. And we probably are going to do what he says. Yeah, he said that him and Brendan Shaw will come over here

and beat our asses with their stacks of money. With their stack of money. It's like maybe Brendan Shaw will, but yeah. I mean, Zach's got a lot of tricks

up that fucking muzzy sleeve. Yeah. And I like it. Yeah, what are you looking at? You're looking at research. I'm looking for a text that you told me I needed to remember

for the cast. By the way, I will put these up for the $25 members, the BRB Tech Stories. Listen, if you haven't joined Patreon.com, you're an FF.

Can we just read that breakup text that we put up on History Hyenas today? I mean, that was the funniest thing I've ever read in my life. And that girl swears it's true. Yeah. Oh, that was real? No, that was dead serious.

Yeah, she did that to somebody. That girl messaged us and was like, this is not a joke. Yeah. So some girl, she's breaking up with her boyfriend and she starts off with no fumes pal no fumes and then he writes i work my ass off and your parents appreciate it more than you you're ungrateful but he spelt you're wrong he put the wrong he didn't put ari you're ungrateful and i'm over your combos and then she wrote shout out to smithtown water department

and then he goes i'm staying out of your way get get. Get the fuck out of mine so I can leave you be. I don't care what you say, nor do I know what it means. She writes, ladder 14. Ladder 14. Then he goes, I don't care what you do or what you've done or what you say. Not that it matters. And she writes, what the fuck are you talking about? Who even said that?

And then ladder 14. And then he writes, what's ladder 14? What the fuck are you saying about? Who even said that? And then ladder 14. And then he writes, what's ladder 14? What the fuck are you saying? What's your point? Do you know some firefighter or something? Yeah, he thinks she's banging out a firefighter. Ladder 14. By the way, our ladder 14s are up on patreon.com slash bearridgeboys.

If you're not a member, you're missing out on our subsidiary podcast with Sean Terry and Patty Mulrooney. Patty Mulrooney, yeah, ladder 14. And what you wanted me to say on the cast was when I texted you, I said, you're a fish stick in the skin of a jock.

In the skin of a jock. It's a 10 out of 10. Yeah, at heart, you're a fucking fish stick. I'm a big time fish stick. Yeah, this kid Alex is a fucking fish stick, cuz. I mean, if he went to LA,

a Hollywood producer is going to fucking dip him in tartar sauce. Yeah, a thousand percent. Yeah, he's going to get punched through. This kid's going to get punched through.

Yeah, no, I've just been having a weird couple of days. I don't know what's been going on. I think because it's been kind of like mornings and afternoons with my daughter and then dropping her off to her new family. And it's just been one of those things that's been upsetting me. So what the last

few days, and you know me at this point, I don't lie, especially to the fans who are on the podcast. The last three nights in a row, you've cracking up i've dropped my daughter off i've been cracking open these these icelandic brews that have a viking helmet on it they just say iceland on them i've been going to the food dynasty and i neighborhood and cracking them open and i've been crawling up into that love sack i swear to god and for three nights in a row i've watched from start to finish the movie pretty woman i've just... Yeah, I mean, you're a fish stick, cuz.

Yeah, I... I told you you're a fish stick. I'm snuggled in the love sack, drinking brews, watching Pretty Woman, ordering garlic knots and full pizzas from Nino's. Yeah, you...

I know you're going through something when you text me and you tell me... You wanted to tell me about the quality of Nino's pizza. Yeah.

I know that you're ordering, you're ordering. I know you're in a downward spiral. Yeah. If I open that fridge, this is what you're going to see. Do you want to know how you can tell Chris's mental health? Can one of our fans animate this too?

Yeah, animate this. This is how you can tell. When you open Chrissy's fridge. Yeah, this is the scale of where Chrissy's at when you open his fridge. This is mental health scale of Chrissy Day, Chrissy Chaos. Yeah. If you open up the fridge and all you see is a Brita. Yeah.

Okay? And you see a little pasta with broccoli. Yeah. Plain pasta with broccoli. Yeah. Ordered from Nino's or Nono's or Mancino's. Yeah. Then you know he's going through something good, maybe a couple of figgies.

And then, of course, some Palio string cheese for the baby. For the baby, yeah. That's a healthy Chrissy. He's throwing hands. Yeah. He's feeling good. Yes. You know, there's chaos in his life, so he feels happy.

Yes. Okay. Now, when things are actually going good in his life, that's when Chrissy falls apart because he just feels a little nervous. Yeah. He's got a little self-destructive streak. So then you open up the fridge, and what are you going to see in there? This is when you know things are going bad.

You're going to see there's going to be Ziffindale wine. A hundred percent. He's a kid from Ridgewood. He doesn't know what a good wine is. Yeah. White Zinfandel. That's what my mother used to polish off bottles of White Zinfandel any time she would get dumped. Yes, you're going to see

a half open. It's usually one of those bottles with a screw top. Yeah. Yeah, that's the type of wine. It's $9.99. It's in the box. It's not even on the shelf.

White Zinfandel, 100%. It's got pictures on the tag. It's got a picture. Yeah. So you got like a little like a cheap rosé half open. Yeah. And then you're going to see

a couple of six packs of brews missing. There's going to be a couple of brews missing and a couple of brew bottles right next to the fridge on the fucking countertop. Yeah, that's what you'll see right now. And then you're going to look down one shelf lower and you're going to see a small pizza box and you're going to open it.

And what's going to be in there? A half-eaten slice of ravioli pizza. Ravioli pizza. Ravioli pizza. Yep. Okay. And from Bay Ridge Pizza. And potato croquettes.

I love croquettes. Half-eaten. Half-eaten. And that's how you know Chrissy's going through it. Well, what happened was because my birthday last week, you know, because let's be... Oh, and I forgot about when you go into the freezer.

Yeah. Yeah, it's just... Well, you're going to find coconut milk and almond milk ice cream sandwiches. It's just what's going to happen. Yeah. And you're going to say those are for the baby and you're going to look at me as if I know you're not lying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, what... Because, listen, let's be crystal clear. Be CC.

Let's be CC about the entertainment business. Yeah. It was my birthday on Monday. CC turns into a fucking steel pipe real quick. It was my birthday on August 26th. Yeah. I'm aware. I mean a lot of our peers, they don't – managers and agents only care about you when they're making the money.

Yeah. When you're making money. Yeah. So they just – it's a mindless gift. They just send the same gift all the time. For me, it's a full birthday cake from that bakery Milk, that place Milk. I just got three birthday cakes. One for my

lawyer, one for my manager, one for my agent. The same cake that said, Happy Birthday, Chris. Nobody cares. They're just pushing buttons like Zach. I get it. I just get it. I know nobody cares. it's mindless. It's bullshit. With that being said, I'm the type of kid, especially when I'm going through something, I can't give away a cake.

So, from Monday, August 26th to now, it's Monday, September 2nd. You've been punching it through. I ate three whole birthday cakes. To the head by yourself. To the head by myself. And I feel genuinely like i'm gonna go down yeah today i'm gonna go down and it's just i spiraled out of control i've been throwing hands and working out yeah and watch a pretty woman and cracking bruce yeah so i'm i'm not all the way

bad but you have to understand yeah what's been going on in my house oh this past week and to make matters even worse yeah i'm just gonna say say this. Get the buttons ready. I went back to watching Hitler videos with subtitles. Way, way, way, way. Yeah. It's just a mashup of problems right now. And you know, the irony is that things are good. You went to

Middle of Evil Times with your... We had a baby daddy day. You had a baby daddy day with the other baby daddy And his kid Yeah So all the fathers were present There's another one

Coming on the way Yeah Okay And so I mean you went to medieval times You brought the baby The baby was happy Baby had a good time

Yeah I bought the baby A princess helmet And a magic wand You're in shape Venetia's back from Greece Yeah the hot guy's here Yeah the hot guy's here

Zach is back from Whatever mission he was doing. Yeah, Zach's got the buttons ready. He's got fucking brass knuckles and switchblades for sale. Yeah, and Mike's breathing in my ear. Yeah, Mike's here. And I mean, why are you getting upset? Why are you whipping out?

Why are you going through? Things are good. Your career's good. You're on the road. Yeah. Well, I don't want to be on the road, but that's my own bullshit. Yeah, the situation is happy. It's happy. Yeah. She's posting, you know, happy pics. Yeah, no, it's happy. So the situation, no, everything's good. The situation. I don't

think anything's really wrong. Barney Rubble doesn't have the codes. So things are good. Yeah. But he, he, he, he, he caught me this weekend, but that's right. And what'd he do? I got caught by Barney. I just, no, I just got caught for a couple of hundo, but that's all right. I got caught by Barney. No, I just got caught for a couple of hundo, but it's what it is. It's just called a father tax. Yeah. No, I actually don't really. To be honest with you, I'm fine.

Maybe you had a hot tip on a horse. Yeah. We got a cackle? No, it's fine. Even if it's on the Patreon it's fine And At least we get a couple jokes Even if it's on the Patreon I mean He pays for my credit card

So Yeah It's just what it is It's just what it is It's Labor Day It's a good Labor Day It's a Labor Day But I tell you what

Your fucking Christopher Reeves curl Looks fucking great Great right now? I mean Has his hair ever looked better Than right now? You look really great Fucking word.

Thank you, Vanity. Yeah, word. Dope. Mad. Yeah, no, things are good, but I have been banging out brews and watching Pretty Woman. Yeah. But it's just, listen, that's okay, you know? Yeah.

Fuck, I love this movie. That's Pretty Woman. Yeah. Come on, I know. Yeah, Pretty Woman. Absolutely. Yeah, I mean, you know. You made a big mistake. It could be your

life story because he eventually falls in love with a two. Essentially, he falls in love with a two. I think that's what it is. I think that's where, I think that, I think I see, I think I see some things in my life in that movie and it makes me feel at home.

There's something about that movie i connect to which character do you identify most julia roberts yeah yeah roberts yeah i feel like it too i'm a toot yeah well julia roberts she comes from you know she comes from that side of the tracks a little bit right and then she yeah yeah then she makes it she makes it big she makes big through love yeah yeah so i mean you're kind of like that you got a friend park slope and lukash works in park slope yeah so he's a big-time doctor he's a big-time doctor in park slope so you got you got you got a foot you got a foot in the classy part of brooklyn absolutely i mean you know that's that's lynn's happy place yeah no my mother my mother's excited yeah when she when she wants

to think about what her son is doing she goes to a happy place then that maybe he's on a ferry ride with his friend from park slope that's all she needs to know. She wants to know if you're with Lukasz or me and that's really it. Yeah. That's it. Whenever she looks at your pictures

on the gram and she sees that you're on the road and she doesn't see us there, she's got to move a veggie a little bit. A little bit. The peas get moved to the left. Yeah, she just doesn't want

to go in the house and ever see any groceries from C-Town. She doesn't want to see that. Because look, we're in a good place because a lot of the smoke has cleared from the past couple weeks. And what I was saying before is- What do you mean, the smoke from what?

I mean, you were going wild for a little while. You were popping off. Oh, about on the podcast? Yeah, you were going, you know, you figured- Well, that smoke really hasn't cleared. I'm still not invited to Thanksgiving. Okay, so that's- But that's okay.

Yeah, but I mean, we're getting closer to it being clear. As time goes on, it's the only We're getting closer to it being clear. As time goes on, it's the only thing that's going to heal that wound. Yeah, because on my side, I just don't care. I just want to live for my career and my kid, so I just don't care. That's what I was saying is on the Patreon, Lisa Johnson, actually,

one of our... By the way, we've started She's a Hall of Famer, Lisa Johnson. She'll get cracked, too. We will tell you soon our power ranking, and you guys, there's 10 out of 10 comments. Maybe Venetia can look them up

and maybe we can read some. There's a bunch of hilarious comments. We'll explain to you what the task was, and we're going to start ranking you guys, and from there on,

there's going to be prizes, there's going to be gifts, there's going to be laughs that are going to be sat on by Chris. But here's the deal. We posted a Patreon kamikaze.

And you have to understand, some people messaged and said that they were upset that there were cackles on the kamikaze. They said they're not paying, so I have to make a statement about why we sometimes have to cackle on the kamikaze. Wait, what's a kamikaze? Kamikaze is when I start or Chris starts recording and we don't know about it. Those are for $25 members. That's the most elite because we don't know we're. So that's a- Those are for $25 members. That's the most elite because we don't know we're being recorded.

Is it for $25 or $100? It's $25 only. $100 levels closed, right? Unless Nora Cupcakes wants to get in, but they already get enough free fucking press. Thank you for the birthday cakes.

We love you girls. Yeah, thank you so much. I'm almost going to collapse. Yeah, every time you come in, yeah, my foot is just leaving me. So yeah, maybe like, I mean, they bring a lot of sweets.

Sweets. Yeah. And Venetia brought sweets from her. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I had a rough, yeah, I mean, it was a great birthday, but I mean, I'm still feeling the remnants of that sugar. And then I ate three birthday cakes throughout the week. I mean, yeah, they do not go light on the sugar,

but it's delicious Nora cupcakes out there in Connecticut. So they gave me a little bit of slack and said, you can't cackle the $25 member. Let me explain something to you, okay? If you don't know who Chrissy Chaos is, imagine he doesn't know he's being recorded. Imagine he's just coming into my apartment and he thinks it's just me and him.

Yeah. It's just my ears on him. Yeah. We have to cackle because of the legal system of this country. Yeah, the great laws of this country. The great laws of this country. Even Frank Rizzo, God rest his soul, if he was alive would say, you need to cackle because of the legal system of this country. Yeah, the great laws of this country. The great laws of this country. Even Frank Rizzo, God rest his soul, if he was alive, would say, you need to cackle that.

He would understand. He would absolutely understand. There's a lot of information you can't just have out there, too. You can't say phone numbers. You can't say account numbers. I go completely wild. Yeah, exactly. I mean, I'll give out somebody's address. Yeah, you just You're a filterless kid

I'm a filterless kid You're an espresso coffee You're not really a drip coffee I'm straight up Mikey's really been good He's saying we gotta Stop saying things in the cast Mike's being like

Hey guys you might wanna Tell the guys not to say something too wild Because we had one member of our patreon just go all the fucking way and try to put us in jeopardy with patreon the website yeah so you guys want to explain the power ranking rules yes i want you to do it and i want you to say fucking word dope while you do it or if you don't we need a word dope fucking yeah and alex is moving into position yeah yeah zach we gotta add a word dope for whenever fucking vanity is fucking talking word dope dope dope yeah dope well she's gonna have to say she'll record it after this yeah fucking cool all right so um now we are having patreons go on and we're gonna set up tasks each week

and uh the funniest one we're gonna you know rate us to rate each of you guys 1 to 10. Is that what's going to be 1 to 10? Yeah, okay. I like it. I like it. All right. So we get together and we say what is a 10 out of 10. Oh, that's brilliant because we say 10 out of 10.

Yeah. And then some of the tasks will have prizes, a t-shirt, maybe mugs, maybe a random call, or maybe Chris will sit in your lap i'll 100 do that if the guy if the guy's cute enough i will sit in his lap no the prizes will be good fucking we're dope we're dope so um what are the rules though we are going to be doing this all of september so if you're not a patreon member and you don't know what i'm talking about get on right now it's hilarious these were i was dying when you started this last week. Do you got some faves?

I do. There was one that I was laughing. Do you have any? I mean, I don't know. So this is going to be for the month. And also, be careful what you're saying. Yes. Yeah.

Let's explain. I'll explain it. Look, in all fairness, almost everyone, by what I mean is only one person, really. So everyone else really. They did well. Everyone else did well. But here's the deal. We say a lot of wild things.

Yes. But keep it fun, guys. Keep it fun. Yeah. Try to leave the wildness to our cackle button. Don't go wild. the wildness to our cackle button. Don't go wild.

Don't write about anything about any types of people. Don't be hateful. Just be fun. Don't be hateful. Well, let me just ask this question for the group because I know that people

are thinking about it. Get the button ready, Zach. I know that people are thinking. All that stuff is true and yes, I agree. I'm 100% but what about for the 24 hours

it's September 11th? Can they... Wei Zhongzhen. That they would make an exception? Are they allowed to say, does whatever go? Because it's 9-11, cuz. I mean, you know what I mean?

You gotta get... No? It's a character piece he's doing. Yeah. Okay, so even on September 11th, they can't? That's my friend Paddy Mulrooney. You know, he's...

Look, he's been in the bridge with his whole life. He's never been to the city a few times yet. You just... Yeah, so... The kid is been rich with his whole life. He's never been to the city a few times. Yeah, so... The kid is emotionally attached to 9-11. Yeah, so...

Yeah. It's a character piece. It's a character piece. Thank you. You can't say nothing on 9-11. I may let one fly on 9-11. Where's Josh?

What if we did a 9-11 Photoshop contest and never forget? Yeah. Nice. Fucking screwed in. Mike is fucking screwed Yeah. Nice. Fucking screwed in. Mike is fucking screwed in. He's fucking screwed in.

Let's do that. Do you want to do that? A 9-11? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. I want to fucking reanimate Zach from high school and suck his dick. Yeah, that's what I want to do.

No, I want to reanimate him. Mike. Oh, Mike. Yeah. Yeah, I meant to say Mike. I wish high school Mike was here. Have you seen the picture of Mike from high school? I'm going to post that this week.

I mean, we got to post that. Maybe we'll put that on the Patron. Yeah. Put it wherever you want. Yeah. I mean, you could show up to your high school reunion, and I don't think anyone's going to recognize you. I mean, no one looks the same there either.

Yeah, that's true. San Antonio is the type of city nobody's going to come back looking the same. Yeah, if you leave, you don't go back. Yeah. Mike's probably doing the best out of most of his classmates in San Antonio. They probably never even fucking left the Alamo. Absolutely. The ones that weren't Asian, yeah.

San Antonio looks... It really, truly looks like the waiting room for a casting call for Jerry Springer. It's just what it is down there. It's a beat-up town. It's a beat-up town. Yeah, you're not a fan. Of San Antonio? Yeah. I don't want to say publicly any cities I like or don't like in America.

Yeah. Because I love every city in America. If it's within the walls, I like it. Within the walls of this great country. But yeah, I'm going to think twice about going back to San Antonio. But I don't hate it. I don't hate it. But I liked it because of Mikey and Sergio there.

Yeah, and it's also within the walls. It's within the walls. Yeah, it's within the walls. It's within the walls. Yeah, it's within the walls. It's within the walls. Yeah, but yeah. Okay, V, did you find anything good? Yeah, so okay. So just to be clear, don't say anything bad on 9-11.

No, the rules apply all days. Just don't say anything hateful, man. We're a fun podcast. We're having fun. And we're just genuinely kidding. We're just kidding all the time. And seriously, I'm only bringing this up. Because there's one person.

99.9% of you were good. He's been scolded, that kid. But it's alright. He's a good kid too. He just got a little wild. He just gets a little wild. Yeah, he's a little wild. The first task was you have to convince Chrissy to fall in love with you but move away to someplace that isn't two feet within the

walls of this great country. Moreover, not in NYC. First straight, guys, you got to convince Chrissy to join your business as a partner and relocate to the Middle East for it. Comment below. So we ran into the problem on the second part of that question. Somebody took that a little too seriously. Wait, do you have to be a $25 member for this,

or can you all do it? No, this is all Patreon. Oh, okay, perfect. This is an all Patreon draft. Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. Yeah, if you are- Which we should at some point

change to Patreon.com slash History Hyenas. It's too late now. Because we haven't made a Bay Ridge Boys in a long time. But we're good now that we got the fucking QC.

Oh yeah, now that Alex is back we're going to make it. Yeah, we're just going to shoot it with him. Yeah, and we're going to get Chris Mullen on because he got fired from St. John's

so he's available. He's available. But he lives in San Francisco so we're going to have to just fly out there. Yeah, share our Bay Ridge Boys too but we are the Bay from St. John's so he's available. He's available. But he lives in San Francisco so we're going to have to just fly out there. Yeah, share our Bay Ridge Boys too but we are the Bay Ridge Boys.

We are the Bay Ridge Boys. Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys to be involved in all this stuff we're talking about. Yeah, and this power rankings, this goes for all non-toots. All non-toots. Everyone who's a member

of the matriarchy at Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys can participate. Did you guys have any favorite ones? I had a lot. I mean, our fans are so funny.

What was your favorite one? I started laughing. So Christian Winkie's thing does. Oh, he's a 10. Yeah, the kid's been a 10 for a while. I think that kid came to my shows in Chicago. Yeah, I mean, that kid is a 10. I mean, he's on the top of the list.

He's going to start off at the top. He wrote both. He was like, to make him love me, I'd probably just stroke his hair with a brush a hundred times forward and then a hundred times backwards. Then I'll throw my dick in his hair, assuming it's chilled up, because I'm mad gay for hair.

We could also just sell bootleg DVDs or home improvement. And what else? There was this other girl that I was laughing so hard. There was so many good ones. I'm trying to find it right. Anyway, we'll read one, and then you guys go join the matriarchy

and read these yourselves. We're starting to rank these guys from a scale of 1 to 10, like Vanity has said. So Jeff, enormous toot flute Williams. Nice. Toot flute is funny. Yeah, so as you know, the task was to convince Chris to move with you to the Middle East and start a business with him.

Yeah. With you. So he says, cuz, he's perfect timing. I've been selling used panties to swar the eastern hemis for months now, and business is bananas. Yeah. He says, unfortunately, I've been made by all the naked booty club bouncers, gym security guards, and tanning salon owners in the tri-state area

and need a new face to help sneak in and gather up inventory. Yeah. That's where Chrissy comes in. Let me be crystal clear. This is a chance, Chrissy, for you to end up on a list wearing an ankle bracelet that shocks the shit out of you anytime you go within 500 feet

of these places, but you'll make a shit ton of money! Lot of 14. Yeah. So there's tons of great responses like that, and that is our first test. There's going to be a ton more. Keep doing it. You guys are hilarious, and I can't wait for the rankings. We're going to be a ton more. Keep doing it. You guys are hilarious and I can't wait for the rankings. We're going to get together

as a committee and figure it out. Yeah, this week. Also, go to iTunes and please write a review. Yes. Please do. If you're too...

Just go. Just go do it and go to HistoryHahenas.com. It's the least you can fucking do. Go to HistoryHahenas.com and buy some t-shirts. Yeah. We're selling t-shirts now.

We're selling fucking t-shirts. What's your guys' favorite t-shirt? I like the No Fumes With The Feet. Oh-shirt? I like the No Fumes with the Feet. Oh, okay. I like the No Fumes with the Feet and I like Giannis Pompous Witch Hazel No Fumes. Yeah.

That's awesome. Yeah, that's a nice one. And I also like the Plain Jane Just History Hyenas. Yeah, well, we got that new logo up and we're going to be throwing that on our shirt.

Shout out Smith on Water. Yeah. That's right. Smith on Water one. Yeah, and we also got a Wei Zhang Jin coming. We got a Wei Zhang Jin. Yeah, but you know,

Elvis, I know you're listening right now. Get on it. Yeah, Elvis's right. And we also got to wage our gene coming. We got to wage on she in. Yeah, but Elvis, I know you're listening right now. Get on it. Yeah, Elvis. Get on. You got to start to get a move on, okay? All right. Yeah, I don't want to have to start making some calls and doing some background checks on you. Yeah, Elvis. You live a little close to the wall.

You're very easy. I can just throw you right over. Yeah, I mean, you don't even need a catapult for that kid because you've been lifting. I've been lifting. So you can push him over. I've been lifting. By myself, I mean, you don't even need a catapult for that kid. Yeah. Because you've been lifting. I've been lifting. So you can push him over. I've been lifting and I've been... By myself, I'll take you physically. Yeah! I've been throwing hands. Yeah. And it's just what

it is. You're a kid. Because listen, cuz... And I did... I boxed today in a sauna suit and I almost went down. Yeah, but there's always garlic pills available to get you back up. Garlic pills and oregano pills. Yeah. Yeah. Not for Pauly. Yeah. What do we... What do you got? Another one?

We're going to talk about the labor week. Oh, we didn't have too many join-ups this time. Oh, it was a week. It was only one week. Last week was a whole month's worth, so this is a week.

Why is it so fucking hot in here right now? Because it... Because it shows up. Yeah. Can we open up that door? The AC is on in that room. The AC doesn't come up on here, though.

We have a gate on it. Yeah. Throw that fucking AC on, please. Yeah. Throw it on. Yeah. Okay. Real quick, I just want to read the names of the newest Patreon members who have joined

the matriarchy, who have went to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. Like we say, we always encourage you to make funny names, your Patreon names to be funny. It's a lot of fun. Everybody enjoys it. And they've been bringing the fucking heat. They're bringing the heat. These people, I see some funny ones. I see some people that just went, what did we say last time? They're here for a good

time. They're straight to the back. They're going straight to the back. They're here for the content. If you're here for the content and you want to go straight to the back and you don't want to out yourself, you got a good job that you like, you got a wife, you got kids, you just don't want to fucking have some fun. That's fine. We appreciate your service, but we're just going to say your

name, and then we're going to go straight to the back. Yeah, let's go straight to the back of the porn section. So first up, Steve Marsland. Straight to the back. I'm here for the content. Julio Llamas. Julio Llamas, he's definitely here for the content. He doesn't want anyone to check his papers. Straight to the back, but it is funny that his last name is Llamas. Yeah, Llamas.

Then we got, but that's just fucking, you know, unfortunate. Then we got one that's- He's a white walker. I'm going to have to, listen, I just want to clarify. I just want to, before I say this, I just want to say, like, I joke around with a lot of the stuff that I do. I joke around.

I have a multi-ethnic family. I grew up in a multi-ethnic place. I joke around with my heritage. It's just, it's like a character piece. It's a funny thing. Ladder 14. Ladder 14. I genuinely am just kidding.

But unfortunately, this guy, Jared Forthreich Schrader. And I know that I caused that. It's your fault. It's okay, but I'm just kidding around. I think the Nazis are disgusting. Of course. I think they're disgusting. We joke around, but he is a German kid. His last name is Schrader? Schrader, yeah. I'm honestly just kidding around. I do not. I think the Nazis are disgusting. Of course. We joke around, but he is a German kid. His

last name is Schreider. Schreider, yeah. I'm honestly just kidding around. Part of that culture is horrifying. Unfortunately, it sounds like that kid's not kidding around. Yeah, I don't think anything they did was right. They had a couple of good science experiments, but that's another thing. Wait, wait, wait. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. You cannot fall asleep at that point.

Thank you. It was a double. Give us a double. Okay, next up. Johnny Dad says, I'm half a finook cook. PPW nominee. Straight to the back, Shane Kazma. Shane Kazma, I'm just here for the content. Yeah, straight to the back, Jason Herman. Jason Herman, sorry guys, I got a hat on. I'm here for the content.

This kid's straight to the back, but he has a funny last name. Because if your last name is Italian, like real Italian, don't even worry about making a nickname because we just laugh at it. Dean Villani. Dean Villani. How you doing? Listen. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. This one. Because we got a fucking plethora of sauce monkey and he's listed it to this fucking podcast. This one, Kyle, and then parentheses, my son pronounces a-jew, a-jew, so he gets a cookie. It's a good one. Flare. Dude, he tried to do a triple backflip. I like that.

Yeah. Kyle, my son pronounces a-jew, A-J-U-S, a-jew. As a Jew. So he gets a cookie. So he gets a cookie. I mean, that's actually a fucking 10, no? A flare. A flared.

Okay. Yeah. Then this next guy's name is Hound. Hound? Yeah. That's funny. It's funny. It's not straight to the back. It's funny. Yeah I mean, that's actually a fucking 10, no? Yeah, a flare. A flared. Okay. Yeah. Then this next guy's name is Hound. Hound? Yeah. That's funny. It's funny? Yeah.

It's not straight to the back. It's funny. Yeah, he's funny. Yeah. Then we got Kevin, a situation with your mother, Fume Sampson. So he's just, some people just want to put all the things in. Yeah, that kid's walking into the fucking video store with a Hawaiian shirt on. Yeah.

He wants to be noticed. Yeah. Then we got Jordan, always sitting in laps, Hughes. That a Hawaiian shirt on. Yeah. He wants to be noticed. Yeah. Then we got Jordan always sitting in laps Hughes. That's a goodie. Yeah. Then we got Mike Fura, a fume sayer. Yeah, there you go. Good, 10.

Then Laz, parentheses, my friends want to launch me back over the border, Carandaza. Yeah, we got a white wall cat. Yeah. Then we got Natalia Lederman straight to the back. Straight to the back. I'm here for the content. Straight to the back, Mauro Felix. Hi, guys. I straight to the back. Straight to the back. I'm here for the content. Straight to the back, Mauro Felix. Hi, guys.

I got a raincoat on, a hat on. I'm here for the content. Straight to the back, Sebastian Vaucan. Yeah. And then last but not least, we got Travi Balls and Clit Salos. There you go. Yeah. Yeah.

So we got a couple PPW nominees. Oh, we got two more that Veneti is going to read. Yeah, we're dope. I can't read the rest of it. Come on. It's a baddie average piece but happy to and then it cuts off. Dope.

Dope. What is that? He's been here for like about a month so shout out to you. Shout out to you. Smithtown Water, dope. And Umberto,

I wish I was White Perez. Did you write that? Did you read that one already? Umberto, I wish I was White Perez? No, we didn't read it but welcome to the Baytruck.

Yeah, I mean, our non-toots over at patreon.com slash bayridgeboys are going wild. It's a party over there. Go join. Get on the community board. There is, I mean, last week alone, we hit them with probably the biggest avalanche of content. I mean, Mikey, what did we hit? We hit them with two ladder 14s. We hit them with the Hessian bonus.

We hit him with the phone call bonus free episode that we decided is going to go on Patreon for a month before it goes out to the fucking non-tunes. And this is what they can expect from now on. I mean, they can expect it from now on. We hit him with a kamikaze for the $25, and I'm probably missing one

or two other episodes. And we hit him with the Hessians. And we hit him with the Hessians. Exactly. As far as Matty, the average piece, I gave him a message saying we were going to here's what happened. He upgraded. So he got his

original shout out. Oh, okay. Umberto, that was before I was here. But Matty, I told him this is what we're going to do because a lot of people won.

They want to change their name. They didn't know we were going to play this game. So they want to change their name. We're going to make a post where everyone can change their name and get up on there now. I mean, yeah, it's a free country.

During our phone call episode, maybe we'll go over those. And then people who upgraded, it doesn't tell us the same way that new people get a shout out. Some of you guys, we do appreciate when you upgrade. We're going to go through

and we'll see who upgraded and we'll give you guys a shout out during our phone call episode. Just say, hey, what's up? Great idea. Now I got a question for Zach. Why do you have switchblades and fucking brass knuckles for sale? They're just all

around South Carolina. You go to these arcades and you win tickets for playing that whack-a-mole. The prizes are all just weapons. They're so easily accessible. They really want you to defend yourself out there. For what age? Any age can win that?

I don't know. Zach's here win that? I don't know. Zach's here for a good time and not a long time. I gave it to a pretty young kid. Zach's getting jacked again now, too. He's getting jacked, but he's not a kid who makes great adult decisions. Is Zach more jacked than me? No. Well, it depends if he's on a cycle.

It's always halal, though. Yeah. So if he does steroids, he definitely prays over it first. Okay. And if the meat and cheeses are separated. Separate. Yeah. You'll never be jack you just you you look very in shape and i see that you're sitting that way because alex the new guy's here so you're showing off a little bit

alex the new guy's on that side i sit up straight when he's on that side and he's got the camera venti i slouched out yeah but when he's up here because i just want him to think i'm hot yeah but the you look really really good cuz and the thing, we're lucky because we're comedians. So the best part about our job is we usually don't have to set an alarm. And the seven-day work week does not apply to us. Shout out Labor Day. Yeah, Labor Day. So it's like-

This is a day to celebrate all the fucking working men. It's like a big- Yeah, because Labor Day, what is it? Labor Day, the history is what? We celebrate the Chinese building our railroads? That's right. The underbite came out and there's no way Zhang Jian and we're just sitting in silence.

Okay. So I'm just waiting for the muzzy. No, but that was a positive thing for the Chinese. They helped build the fucking railroads

across this great country. I'm not fucking shitting on the Chinese. So Zach, I think Zach was right on that one, right? Yeah, there was no way. Yeah.

Fucking Zach is a good one. It wasn't necessarily offensive, right, Zach? Now let me ask you this. Is it about Jews? No. Yeah. So Zach should weigh

Sean Sheehan himself for that one. Yeah, he should weigh Sean Sheehan himself, but he really means it. So Labor Day, so you want to

talk about this. Why do you want to talk about this? Because it is Labor Day. And just as a friendly reminder, David Dickens banged out your mom.

Go ahead. It's just what happened. But you know what? It is Labor Day, and you know, the new guy, Alex,

has fucking white sneakers on, and I have white sneakers on. That's a faux pas. Yeah. But you know what that originated? That originated from all the rich families coming back after their fucking last vacations of the summer, and they decided they were going to pack away all their summer clothing and get ready for the winter and for work.

And for work means sitting around in their house having people do work for them. So Labor Day is a celebration that celebrates the work of men and women this is a day for fucking Linda Stefano who fucking

sacrificed her whole life to raise the magic the magic kid from Ridgewood yeah fuck it yeah and if Alex thinks my balls aren't going to go across the top of that mustache

while pretty woman's in the background on my love sack he's got another comment it's what it is it's what it is so Labor Day's you know the background on my love sack. He's got another comment. It's what it is. It's what it is. So Labor Day is, you know, it's an interesting thing because basically, you know, the work week used to be like seven days. Really?

Yeah. Yeah. Obviously. Is that when we were fucking winning world wars? That's when we were like becoming an industrialized nation And these workers just had to work Seven days a week That's what the work The work week used to just be

Seven days Twelve hours a day Seven days a week How fucking wild is that? And then you Yeah it was called It's called slaves Yeah pretty much

It wasn't slavery But it was pretty much similar to that Are you referring to slavery? No You're talking about like These are like Like slavery's out Yeah

The 1900s Yeah no Wow Yeah I mean that's the You know that's the kind of Are you referring to slavery? No. You're talking about like these are like slavery's out. Yeah. The 1900s. Yeah, no. Wow. Yeah. I mean, that's the kind of dark side of capitalism that you have to admit. Yes. You need a balance with everything in life. And so the labor movement, which is what Labor Day really celebrates, is the labor movement,

which sort of unions and protecting laborers and stuff like that. You need that. You need that to balance against the greedy capitalists who, if they could, would make you work seven days a week. Yeah, it's just all the fake bullshit. It's like even when I was in England, like all England, all the British people were doing was shitting on America and how America's other bad guys.

It's like, well, then you go protect the oil. You go use your military that you fucking barely have anymore and protect the oil and let these fucking shish kebabs run around. Yeah. I like that what I said had nothing to do with what you said. And you just used what I said as an opportunity to get steel pipe a little bit. Yeah. Because you didn't listen to a word I said.

You just wanted to fucking say something patriotic. I just wanted to call a group of people shish kebabs. Yeah. And the thing is. And I didn't get away shunshian. I was just kidding. I just. It's a character piece.

It's just a character piece. Yeah. I meant not to buy it, but it is funny to call another human being a shish kebab. Yeah, and it's- And you can call me a shish kebab, too. Yeah, you can. And I'm a shish kebab because I'm a Greek kid. And I'm a fish stick.

You are a fish stick. I'm a fish stick. You're a fucking fish stick. So is Alex the new guy. His new nickname's just going to be Alex the new guy the fish stick. Yeah, Alex the fish stick. Or lappable. Yeah, yeah, Alex the lappable.

What do we like for him? Lappable or fish stick? Alex the fish stick Or I'm just going to call him Mr. DeStefano I like that one Yeah, and he's from out on the island His name's Mr. DeStefano It's my fucking husband

We're going to get married Or he could cancel It's what it is It's what's going to happen He's a kid from fucking Long Island But, you know, the thing about Yeah, the thing about the labor movement, cuz Is that it was actually, believe it or not,

it was because of Jews that we ended up getting a weekend. The Jews were the ones that did it. The Jews were the ones that did it because they didn't want to work on the Sabbath. Nice. Thank you, Jews. And an employer gave in to them and gave them Saturday off, and then Saturday inevitably became Saturday and Sunday. And what year was that, Yanni P.? We're talking about the 1800s.

So before that, the weekend wasn't a thing. Saturday was just another day of the work week. Yeah, I mean, the week is made up. Seven-day week is made up. It's a completely made-up thing, a seven-day week. Why isn't it a ten-day? Why isn't it a three-day? Why isn't it a four-day?

Well, didn't Caesar make that all up? Isn't that something to do with isn't that from like Roman times with with like keeping time in order? I mean, time is made up. Time is not a real thing. Why is it 24 hours in a day? It doesn't have to be. The year marks one revolution of the earth around the sun. So that's based on that.

And months supposedly mark the time between full moons. The 7 day work week is based on nothing. Absolutely nothing. Interesting. The seven-day work week is based on nothing. Absolutely nothing. Interesting. So the seven-day work week is just some guy just made it up. Some fucking guy made it up, and I'm trying to figure out who the fucking guy is,

but supposedly it has its roots that can be traced back to Babylon 4,000 years ago. That's interesting. Yeah, the Babylonians. Because you never think about that. No, and nobody ever really thinks about the Babylonians. They were just a bunch of... They were a fucking civilization, the Babylonians. We're going to do

an episode on the Babylonians. And there's a place called Babylon Long Island. There is a place called Babylon Long Island as well. Yeah, I bought... There's a Leslie pool store out there and I bought a filter for a pool once out there. Out there on Babylon Long Island. You went all the way out there to Arnie Island to get a fucking filter?

That's where the closest Leslie's pool was. Yeah. A lot of these are based off of lunar cycles. So that's really where all of this comes from. It's fucking wild that I just looked at you. Like literally eight seconds ago, I looked at you, and you didn't have sweat on your brow. And now eight seconds later, you have sweat on your brow. Why do you just sweat and then not sweat?

Because I'm a person? Yeah. Oh, diabetes. I'm sorry. Yeah. It's a little bit of? Because I'm a person? Yeah. Oh, diabetes. I'm sorry. Yeah. It's a little bit of both. He is a person and diabetes. Should we take the whole crew out to eat after this?

I think we should. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you're jacked up. Yeah. I'm fucking ready to go. I need a roofie for Alex. Yeah.

We need Alex here at all times. There's no way to get Alex down without some enhancement. Yeah. It's what it is. Somebody get me a blue chew. Yeah. You want to have a conversation with Alex after this. If we go to dinner, you're just going to be asking him a lot of questions.

Alex, if you think you're getting through this life without me kissing you on the lips just once, you got another thing coming. You got another fucking thing coming, Alex. Can I get a bottle of water? Oh, is that for Mike? Does anybody want a water? Can I have a bottle of water? Thanks, Vinatia.

Yeah, so the seven-day work week, it actually spread back then from Babylon to Rome. Before that, even to Egypt, Greece, and then Rome. And it turns out the Jewish people there had their own version of the Seventh-day Workweek. Nobody really knows why, but they speculated that the Jews adopted the Seventh-day Workweek after their exile into Babylon in the 6th century BC. It's very interesting. Yeah, everyone's always been kicking the Jews out. The Jews keep getting kicked out of places.

Get the Weijianjin button ready, Zach. You'll start to find... Here's the two groups of people that once these people start getting thrown around a little bit, anarchy starts to happen. The Jews, when that starts to happen, you've got a little bit of a problem.

And then when Poland starts to get punched a little bit, then that's usually an issue. Because Poland sits right in the middle and they're starting to get punched around a little bit of a problem. And then when Poland starts to get punched a little bit, then that's usually an issue. Because Poland sits right in the middle, and they're starting to get punched around a little bit in Europe. A lot of people aren't talking about that. But there's a lot of hatred for Polish citizens right now in Europe, mainly by the Germans. And that's not a good sign. Yeah. Germans just get antsy a little bit.

They just start to poke around a little bit. They start to poke around and see what could possibly be theirs. Yeah. It's a little bit. They just start to poke around a little bit. They start to poke around and see what could possibly be theirs. Yeah. It's a little brutes with goods, but I'm watching that show, The Vikings, which is, you know, it's all coming from there. And it's like, that's what the Vikings used to do, too. They just wanted to go west. Yeah. So in about the 1880s in Britain, that's when we start to see, finally, the first sort of Saturday half day.

the first sort of Saturday half day. That's where you start to see a weekend start to form in around 1879 in the 19th century. That's so wild to me. And you know why? The bosses, the capitalists at that time, they're just capitalists. These are industrial capitalists. It's all about money.

To their workers, it was sort of a quid pro quo. They would say, we'll give you half a day on Saturday off with the promise that you will not skip work on Monday. So you had to be in. Because in Britain, they started to use those days to gamble and drink. Because those kids up north, they like to drink. They like to throw a few beers back. Yeah, up in Ireland and Britain and Norway.

Up in the... Where the snow monkeys are at, there's going to be alcohol flowing. Yeah, it's just what it is. So the English factory owners compromised and gave them a half day on Saturday in exchange for guaranteed attendance on Monday. And so that's where it started. Yeah, so... That's where the that's where it started. Yeah, so...

That's where the idea of a weekend started. Late 1870s in Britain. That's right. Not that long ago. And then it took decades for that full day to turn into a full rest day. Well, what about summer vacation? President Clinton, Bill Clinton, when he was in office

was trying to get rid of summer vacation. I don't think they have summer vacations in certain European countries. I don't know if. I don't think they have summer vacations in certain European countries. I don't know if Germany and some countries don't have summer vacations. Oh, they do at least. They do at least. In Germany, I think, and we should pull this up, but the- Some country doesn't do summer vacations.

Germany does a four-day work week now. Four-day- Germany right now. Right now. If you're working in Munich, you work Monday to Thursday. You work Monday to Thursday. You work about 30 hours a week. You got a three-day weekend, and then you got about

at least 20 days vacation and like a year or two maternity leave, right? Can one of you just look that up for me? August is the big vacation month. Yeah, that's when you see August. So June, July, they're working.

Yeah, that's when you like... So if you go So June, July, they're working. Yeah. Yeah. That's when you like. So if you go to Italy in August, you're not going to see many Italians. They're going to be out in Morocco. Wherever they go for vacation. Yeah. Got it. I want to go to Italy in like January.

Is that wild? I like want to go to Venice in the winter. And I want to go to Greece in fucking. I want to go to like. I want to go to like Athens. Can I go to Greece with you? In February. Can I go to Greece with you? Is that wild to go to greece and fucking i want to go to like i want to go to like can i go to greece with you in february can i go to greece with you is that wild to go to athens in february but i feel like you should go when it's a little bit warm enjoy the time no but my point is is that i want to go there because i want to see what the actual greek people are like i don't want to go

there when the tourists are there i want to go and just be with how what are the greeks doing in february like you know they're having a great time in the summertime and springtime. I'd say you go around Easter time to Greece. I don't want to go in August. No, don't go in August. Go in April. No, it's too hot in August. Go in April.

You'll have a great time. And there's not that many tourists there in April just yet. No, it's like the Greeks are starting to come out from the winter. So February in Athens, there's just nothing going on. Can we go with Juvie? Yeah yeah you guys want to go yeah i just here's here's how i'm going to start to live my life i want to take chris to crete so maybe one of the fucking bartenders will shoot him in the face when he finds out he's german yeah yeah i don't even know what button that would be yeah it's just what it is it's just what it is. It's just a correct button. Yeah, it's just, yeah.

I want to just, like the weekends that I don't have the baby, like on like a Thursday if I have no shows, like just fucking book a flight and just go. Like Thursday morning, wake up and be like, what am I going to do today? I'm going to get on the ferry. And then by Thursday afternoon, I'm in the air over the Atlantic. Because what we're going to start to do, and this is just what we're going to do because life is short and me and you are a couple of FFs. We're going to just start having Thelma and Louise weekendsise weekends yeah where we don't tell anyone and we just go we get in the car and we fucking go yeah yeah because now that my daughter's got a new fucking family they go and do things and i don't get to fucking see her talk to my kid unless she calls me from her fucking watch yeah so i'd rather just fucking get on a plane and be out here

also just gonna cry in my love sack watching pretty woman Bay Ridge. I knew you were going through something when you texted me that you just get a little nervous when I'm far away from Bay Ridge. Yeah. You said you don't like it when I'm that far away from Bay Ridge. It's just what it is. Yeah, because you're a hilarious kid because you're a fish dick in the fucking skin of a jock. You look like a kid who doesn't have feelings

but you curl up on a love sack and you cry constantly. It's just what it is. I ate cauliflower pizza the other day. It's what it is. So actually the weekend first started in America. As fucking everything, Americans lead the way. 100% were always fucking the first to enter, the last to leave. Yeah, and these are fucking New England kids who did this.

New England kids are fucking patriots. They're fucking patriots. Do it, Tom. And we also fucking found out that their accent is probably fucking closest to the original fucking Bostonots. They're fucking patriots. Do it, Tom. And we also fucking found out that their accent is probably fucking closest to the original fucking Boston kids. Yeah, they probably called the fucking Redcoats

a bunch of cocksuckers. So you're telling me that fucking Betty Franklin was saying cocksucker? Well, no, because he was from Philadelphia. He was saying, we need more witter.

He was like, we need more witter. He was like, the problem, we're going to lose this war if we don't have any more witter. We need some more witter

to get you. I need a hear you. So in fucking 1908 in a fucking New England mill down there there was a factory and these New England kids

were the first fucking factories to institute the five day work week. Really? Those kids get that fucking shawnee over there. And you know who

we have to thank? Like I said, the Jews. Because they did it as Mike Mush is nodding. Right? And it looks like four different emojis at the same time. Yeah.

Yeah. They did it to accommodate their Jewish workers. By the way, we're 53 minutes into the podcast, and Mike has not fallen asleep. Yeah, he hasn't fallen asleep. Congratulations. I can't hear his breathing at all. The kid's good. The kid's good.

You put on sleep apnea mask at night? I don't have one, but I've been walking more. Oh, good. Mike's a good comic. Mike's a good comic and a good fucking kid. Yeah, and he's a great replacement for Hey Bert. It's just what it is. Yeah, I just let one slip.

That gets me every time. Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah, we just need ISIS on this podcast. Yeah, all we were doing was contemplating ways to fire him. And then when he didn't show up last week, we just had a bad podcast. So we need him here. If he just pushes the buttons, which, by the way, go to historyhaters.com very soon.

You will be allowed to push Zach's buttons on our website. That is coming soon. Yeah. Shout out to Toni Cassis, who was our website developer. She's the best. It was her idea. There will be a part of the podcast that has all Zach's buttons that you can just push. She's the best. It was her idea. There will be a part of the podcast that has all Zach's buttons

that you can just push. Part of the website. You can just go there and get F&B all day and just push them. You can just push Zach's buttons all day on your own. You can be Zach for a day.

Or you can be like that psychopath fan of ours who fired her boyfriend via text and if you want to break up with somebody, just use Zach's buttons. Yeah, if you want to, if you are using our lingo

in real life text conversations, you want to screenshot that and send that to us, you can DM that to us at historyahinis on Instagram. You totally can. Or film it in real life. Or film it in real life, and yeah, that's even better. And again, keep it legal, keep it safe, goddammit. Yeah, keep it legal, keep it safe, even on 9-11.

Yeah, even on 9-11 included. So it was because of these Jewish workers that the two-day weekend started. In New England. The Boston Jewish kids. The Boston, fucking Boston Jewish kids. A couple of Jews from Boston out there. Yeah, because of them, to accommodate their need to pray on Saturday or whatever, and then they gave them another day on Sunday.

That's how the weekend started. 1904. And then the Great Depression, 1908. That's the year the Sox won the series, too. The Sox won it that year. Is that true? Sox won it in 1908. 1908, holy shit.

And that's the start of the weekend. No, no, no. Sox won it in 1918. The Cubbies won it in 1908. Yeah. Yeah, sorry. Close enough. Frank said beans.

It wasn't until 1926. That's when Henry Ford started shutting down factories on the weekend. So it took a while for it to get everywhere. Right. And so Henry Ford was like the first besides this place that started it. That was the one that was really big. Yeah. That was just like one place.

Henry Ford, like all his factories started shutting down on the weekend. Yeah. And then in 1965, there was a Senate subcommittee that predicted Americans would work 14 hour weeks by the year 2000. And that's not happened. No. That has not happened. Yeah.

Now, here's the thing. So that's the history of the fucking work week, which is pretty goddamn interesting. Yeah. Now, to bring us up to date, the reason why it's so interesting is because it's a big, big controversy and discussion now. Because like I said, Germany, right? Six-day work week. Right.

France, six-day work week. Austria, six-day work week. Sweden, six-day work week. Right. To answer your question from earlier some countries like France do have the regular summer vacation for schools like we do

but UK Germany Austria those all do staggered but they do so what they don't get a combined they get more vacation

though they get more in two weeks no? it's staggered I didn't say exactly what each country does but it's not it's all one big chunk

for those kids that's how it is in Australia as well they have like every couple weeks for them as well. Yeah. Say it again. Explain it again.

I'm sorry. That like, they don't have like two months altogether. Okay. So like every four weeks or six weeks, they get like two weeks off.

Two weeks off. Got it. So does Australia do four-day work week or five-day Australia? I believe it's five. So this concept of like somebody like,

let's say like my mom, like working 30 working 30 years all these years only getting two weeks vacation that she would take the same two weeks the first two weeks of july every year that's like unheard of in europe like yes that's like slave labor to them yes well everywhere in europe actually yeah everywhere you never because yeah but so france has a six-day work week i guess they stagger their vacations. It's more than two weeks. I know that. So when my mother, so really, it's like, it's really not my mother's fault when she was

on the train yelling that, you know, her fucking tax dollars pay for these people's welfare. It's just, it was because she cracked because she didn't get enough vacation. Probably, yeah. Which sucks she. It also maybe had a little bit to do with what, you know, how she didn't get into Columbia because of certain things. Yeah, because of Barney Rumble and his...

La Fuente. Yeah, his Bronx scumbag family. I found a chart that says the worst weeks for every country. Yeah, this has got to be a tough podcast for you to listen to. But we're just having fun. It's a character piece.

We're just having fun. None of it's true. None of this stuff is true. None of it's true. Obviously, none of it's true. In Greece, they have about 24 days off throughout the whole year. So that's why. And mentally, they're off 24 hours a day.

So that's what happens. Yeah, Giannis is always off. It's crazy, though, the work days over there. People go in around 9.30, and then they leave around 7. No. Greeks work hard. They do the siesta. Still right?

They go home. Depends on your business. Wait, what do you mean? So when you were in Greece, you would go in at 9.30? I mean, no. No, V wasn't working at all. She was on your business. Wait, what do you mean? So when you were in Greece, you would go in at 9.30 a.m.? No, V wasn't working at all. She was on fucking vacay with her yaya. Were you working over there?

Yeah. You were teaching, right? Well, I was a teacher. Yeah, you were working. But now when I was over there for my vacation, I was actually working. You were? Yeah, yeah. So what were your hours?

So like hours, I would go in like around 9.30, and then you leave around 6.30, 7.00, 8.00. It kind of depends. But is there a two-hour break in there somewhere? They dedicate a good 45 minutes to eating. My coworkers here, they eat at the desk. They leave, they go to the kitchen, they all have a meal together. Yeah, or a lot of them go home, like she said, depending on the business. Siesta is a real thing in Italy,

in Greece, and in Spain. Doesn't everybody walk after dinner there? It's very common to eat and then go take a walk. Yo, but some people during the summer, they will go home for two hours and sleep. Like, they'll go home and sleep, and then you'll come back to work. Yeah, well, also sometimes it's so hot in some of these countries,

and no one wants to go outside so about like 2.30 because everybody eats around 2, 2.30 and then they'll like take a nap, siesta and then they'll open up their business again

at 5 o'clock. So in Greece, say, I'm just using that as an example, 3 p.m. in the middle of the summer, most shops are closed. Yep. Though all of them actually will be closed.

Actually, it depends on the day. Like Monday, things close early like around 5 and then on Tuesdays they stay, Tuesdays Thursdays, they stay open at 9 o'clock. And then Wednesdays and Saturdays, they close early. It depends on the day. That's interesting.

So you have to mentally prepare your day to be like, yo. See, and that's interesting for me to know that because if I went there and didn't know that, because right now in Brooklyn, the only time a shop's closed during the middle of the day like that is if Muslims are praying. So I would be in Greece like, there's fucking Muslims everywhere. But now that I know, now that I know... Sundays, everything's closed. Yeah. Everything's closed.

It used to be like that here. Like you can't get if you don't have food or you're not going to go have brunch. Sometimes, like restaurants are open. Like downtown Athens, they don't brunch on a Sunday. They do brunch on a No, it's cosmopolitan now.

It's very trendy. Okay. But that is Athens. But in the villages, no. No. Absolutely.

Taverns open. You have to eat the food in your house. No, no, no. There's restaurants that are open, but if you want to do something, prepare

yourself for the week, you got to do that all on Saturdays. And Sunday's a day for rest. You go to church and you go, you know.

Yeah, they still go to church out there. Like go to the beach or whatever. Chill out. Yeah, they still go to church out there. Like go to the beach or whatever. Yeah. Chill out. Yeah, hang out with family.

They all hang out with the family. Over there, they hang out with family. It's not friends, it's your family. It's who you're always with. Always with your family. It's the Europeans,

not only Greece, but like, Yes, Europeans. Yeah, the chart shows that Europe, most of them are like shorter work weeks,

shorter work days and then other countries like Mexico and Nepal are longer. Yes. Well, that's because they need to make our shit. Yeah. other countries like Mexico and Nepal are longer. Yes. Well, that's because they need to make our shit. So that's what it is. Is this enemy hit list?

What is this? This is every country's work week. We have our factories there because they don't have labor laws. But that's the thing. That's why this is so interesting. Inevitably, labor laws start to happen. Inevitably, the workers will unionize. There's a good side to that.

You can't, you know, because with the profit margin, the whole goal of capitalism is to get your labor for the cheapest and make your profit margin the most. So the logical conclusion of that is you pay these guys nothing. You want them productive, no vacation, nothing, because that's padding your profit line. But inevitably that needs to be buffered by unions, by workers unionizing and saying, hey, if we don't get these things, none of us come into work and your bottom lines are hurt across the board.

Because look, Mexico, 48-hour work week Monday to Saturday, but they're not doing well. Like they're making our shit. That's why they're doing it? Yeah, they're all making our shit. But then a country like Norway is doing well 37 and a half hours. Yeah, they're doing great. You know what I mean?

Yeah, it's just the way the government's run also. That's why Mexico's not doing well. Mexico's weird in that... They're doing good for us. That's how it works. Well, the U.S. isn't doing well either, right? If you're in Mexico, you're either rich or poor. There's not really a middle class here.

No middle class. Like we don't exist in Mexico. And that's coincidentally... If you go to Mexico City, it's like the future or 1955. It's not really a middle class in here. We don't exist in Mexico. If you go to Mexico City, it's like the future or 1955. That's coincidentally where we have all our factories in countries like that. Sri Lanka, India, China,

Mexico. Because we can take advantage and they just work harder because there's no labor laws. Our production, our corporations, whatever they're producing, their bottom line gets hit hard. It's like that's the thing. It's like Apple could never bring their factories back to America because Americans would never work like that.

Well, seven-year-olds didn't have such small, nimble hands. We wouldn't need them to make our shit. Exactly. It's like we can't compete. Our workers can't compete because we're too comfortable here. Our poor people eat meat. You know, those countries, poor people don't have meat. Having meat is like a fucking luxury.

Okay? So if you want to do a steel pipe, Chrissy fucking ran about that. It's like, listen. Okay? Start with that you can eat meat for a dollar if you wanted to. Before you complain about Dave Chappelle's special,

start with the fact that you can get meat whenever you want. And then think about how much the fucking clown with the fact that you can get meat whenever you want. And then think about how much the fucking clown with the microphone means to your safety or your well-being. Yeah, you're fucking bored. Well, what you said in the car today is true. It's like because entertainment needs to control it somehow that they create this outrage culture. Yeah, that's exactly what it is. So there's a place where now TV networks are places where you have to say the right thing because really the internet is the thing that's exploding.

You could just do whatever you want. So how does TV control that? By saying, oh, this is the space where you can only say these words. And they create this whole illusion. Right. They use morality as like a marketing tool going like if you're watching that stuff, you're doing something wrong, if you're watching that stuff, you're doing something wrong. If you're watching our stuff,

this is the right stuff to watch. Right. Because that's the only thing they have left because everyone else, they can't control people to watch TV anymore. So it's like people are on the internet watching your videos, Anxiety Tuesday, which cost you nothing.

You made you nothing. Sure. And 100,000 people may tune into that. Do you know how high that number is? Yeah. Like you have to really like unprogram yourself to realize like, oh wait, 100,000 people or 30,000 people who watch my Anxiety Tuesday video, right, or my Crystal Clear Chrissy video or whatever it is,

that's more people than watched an IFC show. Yes. I mean just right there. What Andrew Schultz does and puts a special out on YouTube and gets half a million views already, that's more than anybody saw any of my special on a network or anybody's HBO special. Yes, and it has nothing to do with you. It's just that your special is lost in a system that's over.

And the reason why Schultz is so confident is because he just knows it. He knows, like, you know, he's a confident kid, but he's just accepted. He's fully accepted. Like, he's seen through the bullshit. You guys are all lying because they are all lying

and you can see it in the numbers and who's selling out and what people watch. If you ask a kid, Venetia's age, what she's doing, she's not going to be like,

oh my God, I'm watching fucking, what's that new show, Corporation on Comedy Central. You probably didn't even know that was a show called – what's it called? Company or – Corporate.

I think that one got canceled, but there's a second – Yeah. Did you even know there was a show? There was a time someone her age would know every show on Comedy Central. Now it's like you don't even know. But she's like – she wants to be on this podcast. She's a fucking word dub because she listens to it. Yeah, Joe.

Yeah. And like people come up to you and they don't go hey Chris I saw you on you know benders they go I fucking love your Instagram yo the podcast yeah a lot of 14 I was saying yesterday I was at the village underground and we're gonna try to I asked Liz for the video from it um I was but she's busy though because she's got to do um seven seven mics and a girl podcast yeah what's it called yeah just keeping she's keeping uh yeah keeping they record a couple times a week, so you gotta catch it

when she's not. Keeping Joe, yeah, it's on the Ride Cats Network. Yeah, listen to it. Yeah, listen to it

and go write a review. So, she, yesterday I was on stage and I was doing this, I wanted a joke and I was saying about like, I was getting into it,

I was like, you know, if you live in, you know, like you have no problems if like, you know, you have a multi-millionaire husband and you live in into it I was like you know you live in you know like you have no problems if like you know you have a multi millionaire husband and you live in Maine I'm like you don't have any problems because I was like you know

you got millions of dollars and Maine is and your father doesn't take any of it I said Maine yeah and your father doesn't take any of it and I said Maine is an all white state so if you live in an all white state you don't have problems right and it was like and one of the tables gasped and then a guy from the background yelled it's just what it is and then it got a huge laugh yeah and then that was and you know he didn't identify himself to me he's just a heinous fan you know we're like i yelled

it's just what it is and saved me you know what we're like especially you but we yeah we're kind of like the joker and we're creating like you know how the jokers started next you know all these kids were following him wearing masks we're creating like a bunch of like outlaw Jokers who are just going to roll around and just go. It's just what it is. It's just what it is. Just what it is. Yeah.

So that's what they do. They but I understand why they do it. That's because they have to do it. They have to say this is why you need to tune into us because we're doing the right thing. Exactly. So if you want to be right and you want to be moral, you need to be watching TV because that's where the good stuff is. And even like the History Hyena fans, I have another

podcast on Apple, Comedy Central's stand-up with Chris DiStefano and I was getting crushed on the reviews. I mean crushed. And it was the same stuff. They only play white comedians. Why is there a white comedian? He doesn't let the girls speak. He sounds toxic toxic the same shit

and then the hyena fans just came in and just started exploding on the comments yeah and yelling at the other people commenting and went the review it was like a three out of five now it's like four out of five because it's just all the hyena fans and the reason why i bring it up is because the power is in this yeah is what we're doing like when you get a solid fan base of people that believe in you that's more powerful than anything you could ever do on TV right now. Even more than that, the big secret is, is that more than just getting a niche fan base or whatever, it's like more people are just listening to this medium.

There's just more people listening to Tom Segura's podcast than watching 99, and I'm not exaggerating, 99% of the comedy shows yeah what what big comedy shows are there right now as far as like a comedy show even a sitcom is there a big what's one that like you hear about constantly that's like all of them have some drama like like they all have some you have to have something like marvelous miss mazel wasn't just comedy no and that's on the internet. I mean, Netflix is an internet company.

Oh, you mean like a TV show? A TV show. Yeah, the Netflix is like pay per internet. Or like an FX show or something like that. Yeah, even the FX show is like. Yeah, Netflix is uncensored internet. It streams on the internet. It's on your TV, but that's your smart.

You can only have a smart TV and get Netflix. Netflix is an internet app. It's not a channel. It's not a channel. It's not a channel. That's an app. That's no different than fucking going on iTunes and press and play. It's no different than going on YouTube. It's no different than going on YouTube.

The last two shows I really heard about were Miss Maisel and The Boys. Yeah. But those are both Amazon Prime. Amazon Prime. The Boys I heard is excellent. But again, this is internet. Yeah. So it's like Dave Chappelle's special was on the internet. I mean, it was on Netflix, but it was on the internet. Yeah, so it's like, you know, like Dave Chappelle's special was on the internet.

I mean, it was on Netflix, but it was on the internet. It streamed on the internet. People watch it on their screen, the TV screen, but the TV screen doubles as a big screen for the internet. So, and the stuff that he was saying, that special could have never aired. And I'm not exaggerating. That special just would not have aired on Comedy Central,

even if he's Dave Chappelle. Standard and Practices would not have allowed him. He said faggot on that. He said, and you know, you don't need to wage on Jamie. I'm just saying what he said, right? Yeah. So he said a bunch of words and things and concepts. And his last special, too, where he has jokes about trans people, that could not air on a network anymore.

It just can't. And part of the reason why it can't is because it's a ploy by them to be like, we're doing this. So it's like, because they could air it. I mean, they could. It's just standard of practice is saying what our advertisers want. Oh, yeah, the executives in charge of all these networks are laughing and loving Dave Chappelle. They're laughing at our podcast.

I know. I know for a fact. Their hands are tied, though, because Colgate Toothpaste, which pays them, won't allow this. But not necessarily. Howard Stern was a perfect example. A lot of people wouldn't advertise, but most would because his numbers were there. And at the end of the day, it's all about the bottom line. So what I'm saying is they do that to carve out an audience because they can't compete.

You know what I'm saying? So it's like they're saying you can't say that stuff, but really now you kind of can because there's an audience for it. Like you could say it on HBO. HBO won't let you now. They're going that route because they're carving out an audience to compete with the uncensored internet. And that's the kind of thing that Schultz knows.

He's like, I put my special up on YouTube. He's almost at a million views in a couple of days. Absolutely. On his own channel. Yeah. So it's like they know they can't compete with that. Uncensored comedians do it themselves. You've got your own camera.

Your camera looks as good as a fucking $50 million camera. They can't compete. So what they say is, hey, if you want to watch the moral stuff, it's over here. So it conditions people to go like,

oh, I got to go here so I'm not alt-right. I actually screenshotted, this is fucking hilarious. And now people are starting to understand this illusion and this trick, which is like,

this is the demise of them. But then Amazon, everyone's going to take over. Speaking of alt-right, real quick, can you just shout out 9th Street Auto Collision? Yeah. Shout out to 9th Street Auto Collision. They're located. Yeah. But I want to just say this.

No, we got to just read the sponsors. I know. I do. But you got to see this. You got to see this. Trust me. You're going to like it. I know you got a short attention span.

Put your fucking phone down. Sorry. I'm sorry. Look. Look at that. Look at what that says. I saw that. I saw that on your thing.

I mean, how fucking hilarious is that? And what does it say? It says the title of the article is for the fans. Yeah, this is an article in a gazette. And this is how you know they're losing their grip. It's just kind of like people are going like, even I saw, what was it? What's her name? The tennis player.

Billie Jean King. When she tried to give her opening speech at the ceremonies at the US Open, she started like, there was like equality for women. And you heard like a clap, and then she kept going, and you just heard people going, it's New York, it's the US Open, everyone there is a fucking millionaire. If you can afford to go to the US Open

and be in the center stadium, everyone's going, just shut the fuck up. We're here to watch tennis, we're here to talk to our fucking coworkers, or whatever fucking Merrill Lynch paid for this. We're not here to listen to you give a speech, Billie Jean King. Yeah. All right?

You got glasses on. You're eating meat, too. Yeah. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. Okay? So they're losing their grip because this is, yeah, the title of this is, it's time

to admit that Dave Chappelle is a white supremacist. Yeah. Yeah. So his actual sketch has kind of come to life. Yeah. That's how ridiculous reality is right now. has kind of come to life. Yeah.

That's how ridiculous reality is right now. And that's why comedians are judged and critiqued so earnestly is because we live in the fucking upside down. It's like the president is making jokes going crazy and like people love it. And then like if a comedian is being written about like he's a fucking politician. Yeah. And actual headlines sound like sketches on the Dave Ch fucking politician. Yeah. And now, and actual headlines sound like sketches

on the Dave Chappelle show. Yeah. One of his most famous sketches is when he was a black white supremacist. This is an earnest headline. Yeah. 20 years later,

15 years later, calling him earnestly a white supremacist. So, it's, they're just losing their grip. Yeah. It's like they're trying to grip

and calling, you're basically calling a black kid a white supremacist. It's like, now you're just losing your mind. Yeah. Now you just lost your fucking mind. Yeah.

Anyway, we are brought to you. Yeah. By Night Street Auto Collision. Yeah. We are the king of local ads on this podcast. Yeah. Yeah. If you specifically.

If you specifically live in Huntington, which is a cute little fucking town. Huntington Station is fucking cute. Because I went. We need to do a show at the Paramount Theater in Huntington, which is a cute little fucking town. Huntington Station is fucking cute. We need to do a show at the Paramount Theater in Huntington. I was just a fucking, because we are Wonder Twins Activate. Because I swear to God on everything almighty and the baby, B-A-B-I, that I was about to say the same fucking thing. Wow. And I saw you just look at your tricep, and I want to throw something at you. No, I didn't look at my tricep.

Yeah, I saw you look at your tricep. No, I was looking at my armpit to see how much it was sweating. I saw you flexion, and you're aware that Venetia's over there, and you're aware the hot guy's over there, and you're fucking, you flexed a little bit. I didn't. I swear to God, I didn't. You swear? No, I swear in the B-A-B-I, I did not.

Do you swear on Virgin Mary? I swear on the Virgin Mary. I believe you then. Yeah. I believe you then. Yeah. Yeah. But you didn't-

No, but I looked, I was looking at my armpit sweat. Oh, okay. Well, then your tricep is coming in nice. Don't make me swear on Joseph Goebbels. Yeah, but- Way so cheap. Way so cheap. Yeah, well then your tricep is coming in nice. Don't make me swear on Joseph Goebbels. Yeah, but... Way so cheap. Way so cheap. Yeah, Jesus Christ.

I was kidding. I was just joking. I mean, fuck it. Can we get a... Please a character... Thank you. That needed the Holy Trinity of cleaning the air.

I'm just kidding. I mean, look at Mike Emoji's face and he's a Mexican kid. He's been through a lot. And he couldn't even handle that one. I was just kidding around.

They all came to our country to hide. Yeah, Jesus Christ. I was just joking around. He's been through a lot. Yeah. And he couldn't even handle that one. Yeah, I was just kidding around. They all came to our country to hide. Yeah, Jesus Christ, Chris. I was just joking around. He's just joking character piece. Honestly, just kidding. Yeah, that's my friend, Patty Mulrooney. He hasn't been to the city too often. Yeah.

So if you live out in Huntington, out on the island, we love these kids. They love us. Go out to 9th Street Auto Collision. Give them a call, 631-351-5200. I can't believe I know their fucking phone number by heart. I don't know what that means about my life. But they're out there on 133 West Hills Road, Huntington Station. These guys are a family business.

They work with all insurance companies, and they do towing, and they will crack your car open and clean it out. So if your car's been in a collision and you're in Long Island, it's probably happened because you guys all drink and drive and you're FFs. Go to 9th Street Auto Collision and tell them the hyena sent you. We're also sponsored by CBD Script. That is CBD oil. This is the best CBD company on the planet.

Promo code HYENAS15 to get 15% off your total offer. They got CBD oils, gummies, edibles, all types of shit. No fumes, no additives, pure CBD. Just get that CBD oil if you got anxiety or whatever you want to do with it. And also, of course, we're brought to you by a healthy, happy... We always fuck this up.

And he's our first sponsor. It's a healthy smile family cosmetic... I always think it's a healthy, happy smile, but it's a healthy smile family and cosmetic dentistry. That's ahealthyhappysmile.com ahealthysmilerysmile.com, ahealthysmilerockhill on Instagram. You know who it is.

Dr. Harvey Spencer Jr. and his wife, me and Chris, are definitely taking the new guy. Thousand percent. And we're going to South Carolina. We're going to South Carolina. And we're getting our teeth fucking cracked open and cleaned out. Yeah, we're going to have a fucking night.

Me, you, and new hot guy Alex are going down to South Carolina, getting our teeth cracked open and cleaned out, and then we're going into the woods, and it's going to be a scene from Deliverance. It's what's going to happen, right? It's what's going to happen. You're going to get the banjo out and sit in that fucking tree,

even though that kid looks like me, and I'm going to fucking make the new kid squeal like a pig. Yeah, and I'll just be getting my teeth cracked open and cleaned out so I won't see what's happening. Yeah. I'll tell the authorities. Well, you can't see what's happening. Yeah. Tell the authorities. Well, you can't see what's happening anyway if I take your glasses off. Your eyes are too close together.

That's a good point. It's just what it is. So go to a healthyhappysmile.com. Say hello to Dr. Harvey Spencer Jr. And tell him the hyena sent you. Go if you live in South Carolina. Or take a road trip. I think one kid has done it already.

Yeah, one kid did it. More go. Go take a road trip. If you live in North Carolina, he a road trip, go down. I think one kid has done it already. Yeah, one kid did it. More go. Go take a road trip. If you live in North Carolina, he's actually close to North Carolina. Yeah. So go and fucking film it. Go film it. Yeah.

Don't fuck with him, though. Just be nice. Just genuinely get. I mean, the guy's a real fucking doctor. Yeah, he's a real doctor. Dr. Harper Spencer Oswald's a real doctor. And look, we can't get too scared. Our fans are good kids.

You know? You know? We can't get too scared. Right. Yeah, there's just one kid who's a fucking idiot. Yeah. Everybody else is great. We're talking to the one

He will fly up Yeah just fucking You know be cool So go check it out We want to see that video Go see Dr. Harvey Spencer Jr. And of course Nutrition Made Fun This kid's Instagram

I'm addicted to it I'm being honest I'm being honest I'm addicted to this kid's Instagram Which kid? Nutrition Made Fun Oh yeah I love it Matt Koch

And he's got good tips He said don't go grocery shopping. I know. He's almost kind of got a bad business plan because he gives away all his tips on his Instagram. Yeah. So just follow him on Instagram or join his company. I don't know.

But fucking if you follow him on Instagram, you'll lose five pounds just from watching the kid's Instagram. Yeah. I mean, he said don't go into a grocery shopping hungry. And he went and got a grilled chicken salad. And then he bought the proper groceries and it's a fucking good little tip.

His tips, the best thing about his tips is they're like real life and practical. Yes. The eating slow thing, I'm actually trying to do that. Right?

Yeah. Yeah. And he's in fucking great shape but he's got weird nipples too. Just the way his eyes are too far apart so are his nipples. Yeah.

But he's fucking great. He's perfect for this podcast because we're all a little off. He's the type of kid. Yeah. He's the type of kid, 1,000%. I'd love to sit in that kid's lap. Yeah.

He's a fucking handsome kid. He's got a nice, comfortable, comfy, wumpy lap. And it looks like he's got a big piece. Yeah. He's got a nice girlfriend. He's got a good life. And I think he's out there in Seattle. Yeah.

Yeah. Matt Cox, right? He's got a nice, big glue gun. And maybe he could send some food To Hey Bert and sprinkle some peanuts in it And then we don't have to deal with him anymore And he's always mad at me which is hilarious It's so funny

All you do is make jokes about killing Hey Bert It's what it is. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah. Yeah. Hey Bird, James is allergic to peanuts. Oh, Hey Bird. Yeah, he's allergic to peanuts.

It closes his throat down. I was just kidding around. We're just a character piece. It wasn't me. It was Patty Mul down. I was just kidding around. We're just a character piece. Just a character piece. It wasn't me. It was Patty Mulroney. Yeah. So go follow Nutrition Made Fun on the Instagram and join him. Let him coach you.

So he's a certified nutrition coach and the kid's great. I'm addicted to him. Who else we got? Yeah. Sandbox is gone, right? Yeah. Don't even give him any free promo. He's out there.

Yeah, fuck that kid. Yeah. So we got one more spot. We have a new comic that actually took the spot, but he hasn't sent me his promo yet. Oh, yeah. Yeah, fuck that kid. So we got one more spot. We have a new comic that actually took the spot, but he hasn't sent me his promo yet. Where's he from? He's from the US. Wow. He's an actual doctor, and he looks like Goucho Mark.

Oh, I know who that kid is. Yeah, he's a good kid. Lakeside Maple. All right. Great. Yo, has he sent us anything? Yeah, he sent a whole thing of granola. To your house?

To my house. How does everyone have your fucking address, Chris? Chris, you're not a fucking just... You're a fucking little bit of a celebrity. Why are you giving people your fucking address? He sent it to me about two weeks ago. Seriously. I know, I know.

How did he get your address? I don't know, but he sent it to me about... Does anyone know how this kid got... I swear to God, he sent it about three months ago. Yeah, but before we go on, I'm really serious. How did all these people get your fucking address? Did you just DM him

in for you guys? I think maybe he just DM'd me. Is it on a public site or something? Why is all our podcast stuff going to your fucking house? I don't know. But he sent it to me.

Are you serious? I swear to God, no. It was in my trunk. If you have Chris's address, fucking lose it. Burn it. Be a good kid. I'm moving, I'm moving.

He's moving, he's not there. But then I gave it. I left good kid. I'm moving. He's moving. He's not there. But then I gave it. I left the box. I needed to make room in the trunk for when we all went to Hershey Park a month ago. And I put the box in baby mama's house. And then when I came back to get it, the granola was gone. She ate it. So the situation is good.

Yeah, the situation was fantastic. I think she may have ordered it. I think she may have went to his Ordered some I think she may have Went to his website And ordered some And probably used my credit card But still Alright look

I want some So he can send it where If anyone wants to send us anything Where do they send it to What's our address here Let me get that up for you I want some fucking Is it 117 McDougal Street

Yeah I'll make a fucking video But I want my free Lakeside Maple You can just send everything To the comedy seller And write For

History Hikers 117 McDougal Street New York New York Whatever the fucking Zip code is video, but I want my free Lakeside Maple. You can just send everything to the comedy seller and write for History Hyenas on it. Care of History Hyenas 117 McDougal Street, New York, New York, whatever the fucking zip code is. Yeah, so listen. Comedy seller. Comedy seller. Yeah, care of History Hyenas, Lakeside Maple. Send me some fucking Lakeside Maple.

I want some fucking some trail mix baked in maple syrup. I want that. My wife wants it. And I want it free, goddammit, because you're giving us a lot of promo. Okay, so don't send it to Chris's house because it's just going to end up

in the situation's house. Yeah. And I don't live there anymore. Zip code is 10012. Yeah, so just repeat the whole address again. 117 McDougal Street, New York, New York, 10012. Make sure you put care of history hyenas.

Cackle that. Cackle that. Cackle it. Oh, it's a fake one. Yeah, okay, good. No, why did you say that? Huh? Yeah. Oh, I don't know what it is.

No. I don't know. I was just kidding. Just cackle addresses. Yeah, cackle it. Even if it's fake, someone's going to go there. Yeah, just cackle it. All right, fine.

Cackle it, yeah. Okay, so Lakeside Maple, it's trail mix. It's unbelievable. It's baked in pure maple syrup. I mean, how great is that?. All right, fine. Cackle it, yeah. Okay, so Lakeside Maple, it's trail mix. It's unbelievable. It's baked in pure maple syrup. I mean, how great is that? Three different flavors, original, ginger, chai, and spicy. Go to this guy's website. Go.

You need to support our guys. Lakesidemaple.com. And a lot of you are FFs and could drop a few pounds, and this is a healthy alternative to fucking Domino's. Yeah. Throw this in your goddamn yogurt. Do you think we probably have a fat fan base? Of course we do. Yeah. Yeah. Not like the Impractical Jokers, but close. Yeahinoes. Yeah. Drodus in your goddamn yogurt. Do you think we probably have a fat fan base? Of course we do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not like the Impractical Jokers, but close. Yeah, close. Yeah. So Lakeside Maple, use the promo code WILD, W-I-L-D, at checkout. Lakesidemaple.com. Simple. Go order it.

It's not expensive. Yeah. And just get it. It's what it is. Yeah. Thank you guys for listening. Remember, HistoryHygienist.com for all our merchandise, and you can push Zach buttons very shortly. Christycomedy.com for all my dates.

Giannispapas.com. Giannispapascomedy.com. Oh, giannispapascomedy.com. Somebody fucking bought giannispapas.net and.comedy. It's probably that fucking kid that bought historyhyhenis.com, that FF. Yeah, remember that? That was hilarious. That was a year ago.

We got it back. Yeah. Yeah, check my... Oh, and can you follow me at MikeVSuarez? I was a year ago. We got it back. Yeah, check my... Yeah. Oh, and can you follow me at Mike V. Suarez? I have a podcast called Yikes Yikes Baby. It talks about being an adult. All right.

Yeah, go follow Mike. Can they follow you or no? We don't know. We're not allowing it. No, we're not allowing it. Yeah. And Zach, where can they follow your mixtapes? Yeah, where can they buy brass knuckles and switchblades?

You could just Google Z the Dropout for the brass knuckles. Just find me walking around. Okay, if you're in the movie The Outsiders and it's 1956, go find Zach and get yourself a switchblade. Yeah, yeah. All right, thanks. And new hot guy Alex, find... Where can they find you?

You can follow him on Grindr. Instagram, A-L-X-P-A-L-U-M-B-O. Yeah, you got a nice fucking deep voice too. Yeah, and he's got nice photos up there. Yeah, you're going to get one to the Uvula, and it's what it is. Yeah. All right.