History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 9 - Easter was WILD!

Episode Date: April 8, 2018

The studio gets cuuute when PPW Raffael Deluca shows up with cannoli sand smoothies ! White wasp brings the intern Christian as the bay ridge boys yannis and Chris discuss the history of Easter! WILD !  Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

What's up, cuzzy wuzzies? You're listening to the Bay Ridge Boys, History Hyenas, Bad. What's up, people? Happy Easter. Happy cackles. Happy Pascha, almost, if you're Greek. Those are my people. We do a week later, cuz. Yeah, well, because you guys, you got to make shit difficult.

I can't hear you at all. I can't hear Chris at all. You can't hear Chris? Isis. Isis, why are you turning my mic down? Yo, what's up? Hi, Enos. You don't like Easter.

He doesn't like Easter holidays. No, and you don't wear headphones either, right? Yeah, because I can't mess up my dough. Welcome back from Cleveland, cuzzy. Yo, Cleveland, thank you so much for your hospitality, but you guys know your city sucks. I mean, but you guys are nice people, and shout out Hilarity's Comedy Club.

Great comedy club. The best. But the city of Cleveland, I mean, they can't be offended by it. It's seen better days. It's just, yeah, it's trying to get better and good for them. But I'm from New York where it's like we have everything, and Cleveland's just closed even when it's open. And I'm sorry about that.

You can't get mad at me, though, if you're from Cleveland. You know I'm not saying anything that's not true. You know it's a tough place. That could be the new city slogan. Yeah. It's closed even when it's open. That's what I think it should be. It's closed even when it's open. That's what I think it should be. Cleveland's closed

even though it's open. I mean, I'm sorry, but again, good people. You had some Bay Ridge boys out there, some History Hyena fans out there, so thank you guys for coming. Good food in Cleveland, though. Pretty good food. You know. Are there Italians out there? There are a couple Italians out there. I saw a couple cuties with smoothies and cuties with booties.

Shout out to Sliman's, a good deli. deli yeah slimans got good corned beef that's the famous for the corned beef i ate one of their sandwich i i did the morning press at like 7 a.m we got back like 9 a.m they took me to slimans i ate the slimans sandwich i want it was fantastic went to sleep uh like you know i just took a nap because it hits a lot of meat. At 11 a.m., I woke up at 6 p.m. Like a heroin addict because the fucking meat. It's so much. But it's so good. It's like Slimans is, yeah, it's Cleveland's shining light.

It's because you haven't built up an immunity to the amount of meat and salt and sodium that people in Cleveland eat. Yeah. Yeah. That's just what they do. Yeah. It's just not as healthy out there. I feel like if you're from Cleveland you kind of wear it on your face. I bet you I could pick out somebody from Cleveland if they were just walking

down the street. They have like a general kind of just like sadness they wear on their face. Yeah, Cleveland face. Is it Cleveland face? Yeah, they got a Cleveland face. Probably when LeBron left, Cleveland face got worse. It was like full-blown Cleveland face. Yeah.

Somebody was crying down the street like, this guy's from Cleveland. Well, he's leaving now, too, which people kind of know that. That's how you know Cleveland is fucking holding on by a thread. It's a basketball player that's holding that whole city up. Yeah. And the Cleveland Clinic. I mean, you're a doctorate. The Cleveland Clinic is-

It's big news out there. Cleveland Clinic, I think, is one of the top five hospitals in the country. 100%. Because he was. Cleveland Clinic is good. And they got a lot of... They buy a lot of real estate. Yeah.

And, you know, I just think that they should, you know, put it into fucking uplifting the people's spirits. Yeah. Because if people are depressed bad in Cleveland... You think they should just hand out drugs out there? I would. You think there should be a prescription for people who live in Cleveland? Yeah.

Like, when you're born, they put it in your like bottle in your water and they're like look you're just gonna have to take zoloft yeah like they just slip it in your meat like you do a dog pill yeah like happy pills for cleveland yeah yeah i mean it's you know a lot of ugly people out there too you see a lot of people's faces you go in yeah yeah it's just a lot you're being honest i'm being honest with you yeah again there's a lot of beautiful people but some of the weirdest looking people and i'm not not saying I'm a good looking guy. You know you're a cute kid. But I'm a New York.

But you know you're a cute kid. But look, I'm a New York Islanders fan. And we have the ugliest fan base in professional sports. Yeah. And people look like they crawled out of holes. And a couple of people in the Cleve, I saw, I mean, there were fucking some beauts. There's some beautiful people out there. There truly are beautiful people everywhere.

But there were some shockingly just strange looking people in cleveland and it's i don't think it's their fault i think every day they just wake up they just feel like they got hit by a mac truck and if you wake up enough days feeling like that you're gonna start looking like that yeah you just sort of start you know how we kind of every life species adapts to its environment yeah if you're from cleveland you just kind of start a day like you look at the buildings are all worn down then it just starts happening. You must have been walking around. They must have been looking at you like you were Chris Hines.

Yeah. Chris Pines. Yeah, I'm a cute kid in Cleveland. I mean, you're a cute kid here, but in Cleveland, forget it, dude. Yeah, I'm a 10. You must have looked like you were a fucking alien from another planet coming down. And you were really walking around. You really can't stay in a hotel room.

No, can't do it. You got to go out. I got to see the sights. Even if you were doing a show in Siberia, I feel like you're going to be like, you know what? Where's the tours of the penguins out here? Yeah, I would do. Yeah, I'd get some Siberian huskies and I'd go around. Yeah. Yeah, because I start to get a lot of anxiety and depression.

And my hotel was haunted, so I couldn't deal with that. Oh, it had ghosts in there. Yeah, this hotel. And that's a fact. Now, why if you were a ghost, right? Why would you stay in Cleveland? If you're invisible and you could hop on any flight, why would not a ghost just hop on a Delta? Delta's real cheap right now because the NRA's really fucking with them.

So why wouldn't a ghost from Cleveland be like, you know, I'm packing my bags. I'm going to NYC. I'm going to fucking haunt the Lower East Side and at least hang out in some hip spots. Because ghosts, wherever they die, tragically, they get trapped in that thing. Oh, that's convenient. They can't. They get trapped, but even though they get trapped in an actual tactile structure, but they're invisible. Exactly.

But they're trapped by the walls that they can go through. Because their vessel is gone. Their meat vessel and body is gone, but the soul stayed behind. So. The soul got stuck. How is it fucking trapped? Can ghosts go through walls? I don't know.

Some can, some can't. So if you can go through a wall. Depends how fat they are. So if you can go through a wall, why wouldn't you just. Even if you can't go through a wall, why wouldn't you just open a door? There's a force field there that holds them in there. Why? I'm asking you why.

Because. You're a man of science, cuz. I don't know. I need to understand why a man of science believes in ghosts. You're a man in your 30s, cuz. And you believe in ghosts. I know you believe truly that the hotel was haunted. There was a couple

of times where I... So if they took the hotel down, what happened to the ghosts? If they removed the hotel, what happens to the ghosts? If they removed the hotel, what happens to the ghosts? I think, I don't know, maybe that's how you release them. There was a couple of nights where I waited for the feature, who's a great kid, Dusty Slate, great kid. I waited

for him to leave because I didn't want to walk into the hotel. The hotel got long hallways. I didn't want to walk down the hallway alone. You didn't, did you? Yeah, no, I didn't do it because then all of a sudden you feel a hallways. I didn't want to walk down the hallway alone. You didn't, did you? Yeah. No, I didn't do it because then all of a sudden you feel a ghost breathing on your neck and then I got to sprint it out. Do you know how strange that is for us regular members of society?

Yeah. To look at your face. You're 6'1". I mean, you're an athletic looking kid. Yeah. I got big hips. I mean, you got big. But I mean, you're a good looking kid.

You're an athletic kid. Yeah. You look like you can handle your own street fight. Right. And you were scared at night to walk down the hallway of a hotel because you didn't want a ghost to breathe on your neck. That's correct. I mean, that's a fucking wild combination that the simulators put together.

Yeah, right? I can't figure myself out. Folks, you're sitting there at home. You think we're joking. It's not a joke. No. I mean, the kid is spooked by ghosts. I'm spooked out.

You sleep with the lights on still with nightlight or no you still working are you working on it though nah last night i at least sleep with the tv on there needs to be some light because if i go full darkness i know when i open my eyes there's gonna be spirit right there you are fucking wild i'm wild kid no you need to be did i did i shit on cleveland bad a little bit too hard? No. Because I actually did like being there. They know it.

Come on. Yeah, but it's just kind of one of those cities where you have to know. What do you think someone from Cleveland is listening to this going, fucking, I never thought of that. Yeah. They get it. Yeah, they get it. They know what's going on in Cleveland.

Yeah. There are some beautiful people there, though. A few. Yeah, a few coos. And whoever was there got banged out by you, probably. Got banged out. Yeah, that's why I'm saying happy Easter. Yeah. There are some beautiful people there, though. A few. Yeah, a few cooties. And whoever was there got banged out by you, probably. Got banged out. Yeah, that's why I'm saying happy Easter. Yeah, they probably, whoever came to the show, who's probably good looking, saw you were

coming to town. Yeah. And I'm only half paying attention right now because the other half of me is wondering if there's poison in my smoothie. Oh, yeah, because- We got to talk about why we got smoothies. Why we got smoothies. Rafael DeLuca.

The last week's recipient of Pseudo Penis of the Week The PPW Rafael De Luca Is in the studio Let's give it up for Rafael De Luca He showed up with smoothies and cannolis And Giannis is an ancient Greek So he believes that the smoothies are poisoned The first time I'm meeting him

The kid could be fucking the Unabomber He's a cute kid. Good-looking kid. Cute, right? Yeah, cute kid, yeah. Thank you for coming, Rob. I'm glad to be here, guys. Where are you from, Rob?

I'm from Jersey, Italian, just like Chris, 33 years old. Nice. That's the age of Jesus. I was a music and was a DJ, and, you know, I'm a big comedy fan, so, you know, the amount of entertainment you guys give me

and, like, laughs, and then this might be, like, my inner Queen Matriarch coming out, but to see, of entertainment you guys give me and like laughs. And then this might be like my inner queen matriarch coming out. But to see like you guys enjoyed and like laugh is just very fulfilling. Good, good, good. You're a good kid, Rafael. You're a great kid. What do you do now?

So I produce music for TV shows. And for the Bay Ridge Boys. Yeah. So I mean, I graduated from Harvard in 08. Holy shit. Yo, Maurice is here now. Yo, Maurice is here. Now let's talk to him a little bit wow so you went to college I didn't want

to do anything except music so I just DJ'd and produce music broke your parents heart broke well broke their I just went there to make them proud you want to live like a celebrity's kid you're like I want to be a DJ something like that yeah fuck this Harvard degree what can you do with that? Not zero. You can't fucking be ice on the turntables with a fucking Yale degree. So, yeah, no, I just, you know, stuck to my goal and wanted to DJ and make music and stuck at it. And then, you know, finally made some headway and now I'm on the History Hyenas. Fucking great.

From Harvard to the History Hyenas. Yeah. Well, thank you, Raphael. And then on the other side, we got, what's your name again? Christian. Christian, yeah. School shooter face., we got, what's your name again? Christian. Christian, yeah, school shooter face. He's got, he's an SSF. You look like a nice kid, but, I mean, you're staring at the fucking wall.

You have, you got some demons inside you. You think he's on the spectrum? Absolutely. Yeah. But that's okay. I mean, it's not. Is this your first day in the job as an intern? Let's speak the truth.

Not about four weeks in. Four weeks in. You're a nice guy. You're a nice kid. You're a nice kid. We like you. We like having you around. Yeah.

Yeah, but just know you look emotionless. You're a nice guy. You're a nice kid. You're a nice kid. We like you. We like having you around. Yeah. Yeah, but just know you look emotionless. You know? You look like you're just, you know, like you were created by Raphael in Harvard, and he forgot to put, the one thing he forgot to put into you is emotion and feelings. You just do what you're told, and you're a cyborg, and you move forward, and that's why we like having you around, because if we ask you to do something, it's going to be done. Not to mention the fact that he's 22 and he looks 12. He looks 12, yeah.

I mean, he looks like a 12-year-old boy. Yeah. Where are you from? Westchester. Oh, what? Whoa, Westchester. Westchester, holy shit. Yeah.

I thought it would be funny if he said where he was from. I thought he was going to say Wonderland. You look like Alice in Wonderland. Yeah. I mean, Bardo. Yeah. What was the walk over here with this kid? Yeah, Bardo Church, White Wasp brought Christian in with him. And, I mean, Bardo. What was the walk over here with this kid?

Bardo Church, White Wasp brought Christian in with him. And I mean, he's about five, how tall are you? Five-eight. Good kid. Without sneakers, about five-six, no? Yeah. Yeah, probably. And you're walking over here with this fucking tall drink of water. Right? Yeah. With Kevin McHale over here. Yeah. What were you guys talking about

the walk over? What's a walk over with Bardo Church like? I mean, because those are two emotionless people. Yeah. What were you guys talking about, the walkover? What's a walkover with Bardo Church like? I mean, because those are two emotionless people. Yeah. Are you a WASP, too? What are you? What's your background? Can you get the mic?

Italian! He's a fucking Italian! Give him a mic! I'm talking to Zach. Which means give him a mic. Give him the mic. He's Italian, cuz! Yeah, he's an Italian kid.

He's a good kid now. Wow, look at that. So how was it walking with Bardo? Was Bardo dry heaving as you were walking over? No, no, it was a good, it was a comfortable walk. Well, no, he's a white kid from Westchester, so he's elite. He's the elite kind of with Bardo. He grew up that way.

He's Bardo's, yeah, Bardo doesn't get, that's why Bardo has him around. He's like, oh, it's my little protege. Yeah, I can see the Italian in his face now. Yeah, Bardo's going to get weird, though. He's like, oh, it's my little protege. Yeah, I can see the Italian in his face now. Yeah, Bardo's gonna get weird though. Don't, don't, yeah. Just know that. Bardo, the wasps, they'll do weird shit. Don't be surprised one day. It's a Friday night. It's just you and him. He shows up butt

naked with a mask on. And he says, ah, this is just how it works in show business. He's got a fucking, he's got a boar head on. Yeah. Just the head of a wild boar that him and his family killed. Yeah, he's gonna have to do some weird shit.'s going to say, if you want to make it in show business, you're going to have to eat this goat's heart with this helmet on.

He's going to be naked for no reason. He'd probably actually be wearing a diaper. He's waspy. We're here to tell you, whatever Bardo says, that's not the way it works. So check with us first. If Bardo brings a fucking bottle of blood and he says, don't worry. It tastes just like beet juice.

Just drink this. Yeah. While I'm naked, I'll jerk off in the corner. Yeah. Text Chrissy and we'll tell you, no, that's not the way Hollywood works. Yeah. Yeah. So just know Bardo's an elite wasp.

And then you're standing next to this guy, Zach Ice's face. Yeah. We call him. So he's. Zach's okay with us though because we're minorities. Zach's enemies really, Bardo Church. Well, because we're minorities. Zach's enemies really borrowed church. Borrowed one, Jews. And Jews.

And what is Rafael De Luca? Come on. Italian. What is that? What else could that be, cuz? Fucking three wops in here. Yeah. Holy shit.

It's like the movie Grease. It's like the movie Grease. You look like the king of the fucking Italians right now. I'm fucking it. I'm kidding, cuz. Yeah, and you got your fucking two minions over here. Yeah. And you guys are are gonna go hunt for

eggplants and truffles well today what we're gonna do is we're gonna talk about easter well because we're a bunch of christians sitting in here a bunch of christians well well zach did you do easter yesterday zach what do you guys call it just bloody sunday you beat me to it that's what that is what we call it i'm an historian so i got to see a lot of greek people going crazy oh yeah but the furiated me but greek easter but it's but greekster isn't until next week right yeah yeah baska p-a-s-h-a baska baska baska i mean depends on what your fucking Greek accent is or whatever. I'm probably saying it wrong.

But yeah, that's the Greek Easter. And it's all... Today we're talking about Easter, guys, because it is Easter. We're talking about the history of Easter. We're talking about is Jesus real? We're going in. We're going nuts. We're going fucking wild today.

And my Easter, the way I grew up, is Greek Easter. And Greek Easter always... Not always, but usually happens after what we, for some reason, we refer to it as the American Easter when it's not the American Easter. It's just all the rest of you use Easter. Well, your word Pascha, on my own research, I found out that Pascha, it actually, it derives, it's a Greek word, but it derives from Pesach, which is a Hebrew word for Passover. Yeah. So the Greeks took that word from the Jews. From the Jews.

For Passover. Because basically, what is Easter? I mean, Easter is just Christian Passover. It is. That's what it is. You guys, the Jews finally had a dope holiday. They had a dope one. And then we were like, well, fuck it.

We're going to take it too. Yeah. And now we just made up. Because Easter has been around, you know, well, fuck it. We're going to take it too. Yeah. And now we just made up, because Easter has been around forever, but it's- Not forever. Well, since the second century. Since Jesus rose from the dead. Yeah, but there's-

Here's a good question, though. Here's a historical question. Was the first Easter the first year after Jesus rose from the dead? Or was the first Easter the year that he Jesus rose from the dead? Or was the first Easter the year that he actually rose from the dead? Which one counts as the first Easter? You see what I'm saying? Was it the first year? Or do you count?

Which one? Well, first of all, Easter, like the way we know it, didn't even start coming around until Council of Nicaea, which we've mentioned a bunch of times on here before. 325 years after Christ. And really, the only reason why they made it a holiday is because they were trying to compete and fucking get people to their religion. So like, let's make a fucking holiday about this. Well, Council on Nicaea, that's where they kind of, they settled a lot of disputes, right?

One of the big ones was the Holy Trinity was created in the Council on Nicaea. Right. They were saying there's the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. And so it's kind of wild to think that fucking Christianity is basically a religion as it is today because of a couple of Italian dudes and fucking Pope hats. Seriously, but that's the truth of it all. That's wild.

And that's why, like, you know, when people want to argue religion and all that, it's like, but the truth is that. That it was 325 years later yeah a couple of are you okay with that are you a catholic because you're a catholic from harvard i know you probably got some my middle name is actually pasquale which pasqua is eastern italian wow wow look at that fucking kid coming in with knowledge i mean i mean yeah yeah what if what a coincidence we're talking about easter and we got jesus sitting right here yeah but there's

some but there's some italian j, but there's some. Italian Jesus. But the reason why I said with Easter with Jesus is because some people think that it's a pagan holiday. And it comes from this thing called, they called it Easter, E-O-S-T-R-E, which was just a festival about rabbits. Because they believe rabbits are like the animal of fertility. So that's why they made it in the spring, too. Jesus didn't rise. Jesus probably didn't die on whatever we celebrate as Good Friday. No, I'm saying he didn't die in that time period.

Who knows if he did or if he didn't. Just like Christmas wasn't in December because there were fucking shepherds out. Yeah, supposedly he was born in August. Something like that. So was Christy Day, August 26. True or bluff?th okay did anyone here ever think they were jesus for a bit you ever think that right zacky isis i expected that one yeah a la yeah yeah well that's a strong mental ill yeah i don't know why i don't know what crazy people did before jesus because like that's a big you blame it on them yeah but a lot of schizophrenic people you know always claim to be Jesus like I'm Jesus like

what did those crazy people do before Jesus who did they think they were were they like I'm Thor yeah I guess it could be Thor yeah thought it out and the Muzzy's you know and fucking and and and the cuz he must ease cuz he must ease they they that's the truth of Muslim religion is the true religion. It is. Because it's recordable history, right? Exactly. Prophet, what was it?

Muhammad. Muhammad. Muhammad. Yeah, that's the only one. Yeah, he lived in like recorded history. So that's- I don't know what that means. I don't know what that means either.

Allahu Akbar. Dude, it's just scary hearing that. Yeah. hear that you're like what's coming next yeah yeah yeah is that a it sounds like it's a spell or well to be honest with you and like i never used to feel this way and it's probably mass media bullshit but anytime i walk into like an arabic deli now you get nauseous and they're no anytime i walk to an arabic deli now and they're playing like just their regular music i feel like i'm in the beginning of a beheading video. That's just what I feel like. Because every time you hear it, it's just they play that music, it's edited nice, and

then somebody gets beheaded. And I'm like, I just want to get chips, but I feel like I'm going to lose my head. Yeah, it's the media. It kind of sucks, but it's the media. Because they're just normal people, cuz. Yeah. I mean, we both live in the Ridge. It's just a lot of normal Middle Eastern people.

Of course, Middle Eastern people are good people great people I mean their language sounds wild yeah you don't know it it sounds wild it sounds like my idea like someone struggling like you know yeah like someone just had a stroke yeah yeah it's a weird sounding language yeah but weird but but America but English is probably weird sounding to them, you know? I don't know, man. I don't know. I think some languages are just weirder sounding.

Like German's a tough language to hear, too. Yeah. Yes and who a son? He's and how's. I said, I said, I said, I said. Well, you know, Germans in the 17th century, they were the ones that were responsible for making Easter like an American thing. Like they brought it to North America. Yeah. And you know what's fucking wild? Christmas, too, right? Yeah. Isn't like an American thing. Like they brought it to North America.

Yeah. And you know what's fucking wild? Christmas too, right? Yeah. Isn't like the tree thing, that's a German, some German. So it's like, yeah, the Christmas tree is an idea

that originated in Germany. So how are they such happy festive people but then also want to exterminate everyone? How are they, how can they be both? This is a nice month. Let's have a tree in the living room. And the next month, we will kill

all the Jews! Yes. But then the month after that, bunny rabbits everywhere. Let's have the Christmas tree up and then how about this idea, Stoof and Hooter? Why don't we start having Jews from it? First, we will have the tree with the children gathered around the tree. And the

next month, we will kill all the gay people. Yes. They're fucking wild. They're wild and they fucking got little mustaches. They do

and their language is just, it's harsh. But even like the Easter Bunny itself because they were the ones that like, you know,

they loved rabbits out there. So they were the ones that said, the Easter Bunny is like, and that's why we know this animal as the Easter Bunny. But in some parts of Germany, it's not a bunny.

It's a wolf. It's the Easter wolf that's coming to bring you eggs. Or in Switzerland, it's the Easter stork. Or like, it's the Easter owl. Yeah. But the Easter wolf, that's a German thing. It's fucking wolf. The bunny's main enemy is the wolf.

Did they do that for commercial reasons? Was it just to commercialize it? Why? Well, the bunnies? Well, jelly beans was to commercialize it. Jelly beans was like a candy, like why were the bunnies well jelly beans was to commercialize it jelly beans was like a candy that why every kid gets candy and jelly beads on easter because there was just a uh when they were like 1930s america when they were just trying to like we were trying to mass produce everything started making jelly beans and somebody was like they look

like little eggs yeah and then some company is like well let, let's sell them on Easter then. So it's all bullshit. I love how it's like the holidays basically get commercialized because you got to explain to kids what it is. What it is. You can't really sell to kids like, all right, why don't you go get your dead Jesus action figure? Yeah, you can't. Mommy, why does he have holes? It's like, well, you know, the Romans fucking nailed him up to a cross and let him bleed out and then he rose from the dead no it's like you know here's a bunny there's eggs hidden in the backyard yeah jesus has risen from the dead yeah don't ask questions yeah don't ask questions because the

truth is in reality you know there's a bunch of people that made jesus look like hamburger meat and then hung him from across yeah and they killed like probably a really good dude yeah they just killed him so we can't talk about that so let's distract you it's the same thing that's happening now do you really think donald trump and stormy daniels aren't best friends they probably talk and go to dinner every fucking yes here comes conspiracy theory hold on do we have an info wars yes yeah we got liberal cutdowns here it comes fucking talk and go to dinner every fucking yes here comes conspiracy theory of course fuck it hold on do we have an info wars yes yeah we got liberal cutdowns here comes fucking yeah alex jones de stefano you don't fucking think bro kick it to me of course cuz yeah of course they're friends it's a fucking distraction because guess what you don't know about is fucking russia just

made some type of like nuclear warhead that can get to chicago from moscow in like 15 minutes and drop 15 nukes on the country and destroy it do they want you to know about that no they don't they want you to think fucking stormy daniels is a big problem they're best fucking friends i don't know where this rant is going but i know how it ends yeah jews and that's when and that's when zach isaac starts jerking off whenever you hear a rant like that you know the last sentence gonna be like and that's why the fucking jews are behind yeah the whatever weather climate control i mean how fucking great is that because 2018 some what was he a city legislator or a state legislator in washington.C. said the Jews were behind the media.

He said that? But he was behind the weather changes. Jesus Christ. Can you look that up Icy? That is my favorite legislative person. I mean this happened recently too. What a fucking idiot. My question is to the people who think that the Jews are behind the weather. Why?

Why would anyone get behind the weather? What do they gain? What would anyone get behind the weather what do they gain what would anyone gain in your conspiracy theory by somebody manipulating the weather i don't know what do you get are you selling jackets for longer i don't know what is and then the and then the flat earth people i never yeah what do we get what do you why would they hide the fact not all the weather he's blaming specifically the late winter snowfall on a family of jewish bankers oh well that's true i didn't know he was i didn't know that part all right i i how though i wrongly judged the guy but how does he control it like what's the what is he accusing

them of controlling the climate and orchestrating natural disasters uh his statement is man it just started snowing out of nowhere this morning y Y'all better pay attention to this climate control. I guess that's his lead suspect. Something's up with this. So the family of Jews. Yeah. Family of Jews. He apologized since.

I mean, yeah. I mean, what are you going to do? You have to. I mean, yeah, you can't let that one hang out there. Yeah. I mean, you know, look, I don't fucking know. I'm just saying it was a distraction. Easter eggs and Easter bunnies is not the real meaning of Easter as we know.

Of course it's not. The Germans. Germans. Well, Easter and Easter eggs and all that stuff, that only came around, I think that came around in like the 1900s in Russia. There was some czar, I think Alexander III just wanted his wife to have fucking jewel-encrusted eggs.

So he had this dude, Peter Carl Faberge, he had him fucking design Easter eggs and dip them in golden shit and jewel them up and give them to his wife because he probably fucking cheated on her and he wanted a way to get out of it. So he was like, I'm going to give you these fucking dope Easter eggs.

And that's now why we paint Easter eggs. Because of that. Because some guy cheated on his wife and needed some gay designer to fucking give her a gift. So that's what happened. So it's like, yeah, I don't know. So it's like, when my mother's mad at me, it's like, why didn't you get your daughter an Easter basket? It's like, because what's the fucking, I did get my daughter an Easter basket, first of all. Second of all, it's like, does any of the fucking, I did get my daughter an Easter basket, first of all. Second of all,

it's like, does any of this matter, mom? Does it really fucking matter? The traditions that we sit in, have you ever stopped and once, just once, looked inside you

and thought, why do I even do this? What's the reason? You don't know. You just fucking do it because you're a fucking robot. Not me. Not Chrissy D.

I'm trying to see the real life and I know that we're in a fucking grid and any minute the simulators are going to turn me off and i don't give a fuck i'm exposing the truth yeah it is wild dude the traditions are wild greeks what we do with easter eggs we don't paint them all different colors we paint them all red greeks are a little more morbid about it why do you paint them red blood of christ when you grow up greek right greek easter easter is the time where you really realize that you're different.

That we're just different. We're us and I guess the Serbians and Russians, they even go wilder. Greek Orthodox, at least we celebrate Christmas on the same day that the rest of you guys. Right. But the Eastern Orthodox have a different Christmas too. Why? It's all calendar. It's calendar shit Eastern Orthodox have a different Christmas, too. Why? It's all calendar. It's calendar shit, dude.

It's all lunar calendar. No, it's Julian or Gregorian. It's Julian or Gregorian. Two popes. I mean, two Caesars, right? Yeah, but at Nicaea, when they were making these calendars, it was just one group wanted to say to the lunar Hebrew calendar, and the other group wanted to do the solar calendar. So that's what happened.

So you had the Eastern Europeans wanting to stay on one, and then the Western powers wanted to stay on the other. So that's why Easter is different days, because the East then morphed into Greek Orthodox, and the West were just, you know, all the Italians and everybody else. So that's why we celebrate Christmas here in Rome, because Catholicism morphed into that,

and then you morphed into Greek Orthodox, so that's why you celebrate when you celebrate Rome because Catholicism morphed into that and then you morphed into Greek Orthodox. So that's why you celebrate when you celebrate. It's different. It's just different calendars because one wants to stay towards the Jews and one wants to stay towards solar. Yeah. You want to stay towards the Jews. Yeah.

Because it's Orthodox. I mean, we keep it the most original. I mean. But that, yeah, it makes sense. I mean, I don't know how anyone could hate the Jews. I mean, everyone got their religion in the Western world from Jews. Jesus was a Jew boy. Absolutely.

He was a Jew bad. Yeah. I mean, he was the king of the Jews. Absolutely. That's what his deal was. Yeah, he was the king of the Jews. Was Pope Gregory, was he the one? Was it a pope?

Was he the one who invented that calendar? Is it Pope Gregory? The Gregorian calendar, yeah. Pope Gregory. But again, he didn't do that to like the 1500s so it's like you have somebody starting something 300 years after christ died first of all yeah and then you're using a certain type of calendar and holidays are a certain type of way in this certain type of way and then 1200 years after that you just have pope

gregory making his own rules yeah so it's like what what tell me what i'm supposed to follow just tell me what you're basically to follow. Just tell me. What you're basically saying is, what is the truth? What's the truth? Well, the truth is I got chlamydia. Maybe.

Yeah. Maybe. Yeah. I mean, these things are just traditions. When you look back in history, there was always some guy, it's basically like one big game of telephone.

Yeah. You know, this is the way I look at religion, especially Christianity, because nobody wrote anything down until 300 years after Jesus. Right. Can you fact check me on that, Cousy? How about that?

300 years after Jesus lived. Well, that was the Council of Nicaea where we started making, like, what we know as modern religion. But even Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, the Gospels, those are just four of about 30 Gospels that were written. And they were all written. The earliest one was written, written like 50 years after Jesus. So it's like, that's the earliest one. Nobody who wrote a gospel even lived in Jesus's time.

Nobody even Mark, Matthew, Luke, John, none of them met him. Yeah. It was just stories. Word of mouth.

And, and at Nicaea, they just picked four of them. They just picked the ones that made Jesus look the best. Yeah. Cause there's other ones that are like, Oh no, Jesus was married and had kids or Jesus did this or Jesus did that.

Or he was, his name wasn't even jesus yeah so it's like there were about 50 people in that 200 year span that all claim they were jesus or the messiah yeah there was so it's like they just picked one yeah the religion had to have to pin it on somebody and they said this guy makes the most sense for us he's still got the most chance to be world famous so this is who we choose now religious experts who are listening to me are fucking whether you're greek or like no no because you don't want to believe the fucking truth you don't want to believe the truth look i got catholic shit tattooed all over my body i choose to have faith and i choose to believe you but i also choose to try to see the truth and what the truth is like you said it's a game of telephone and some dude

just fucking made it up yeah okay. Okay? He made it up. You're probably sitting there going, like, what do you mean by game of telephone? Check it out. You know when you play a game of telephone? Yeah. You know a game of telephone. Sure, of course. You start with one thing on one end.

Yeah. And then you pass it down through the ears. And by the time, you know, what starts as, I got a smoothie from this kid named Rafael De Luca. Right. Right? And then by the time you're at the eighth dude, it ends like your mother's got warts in her ass. Yeah.

That's what it is. That's what the- Which could or could not be true. Somehow that message gets more from that to that. Right. And it always happens. So history is kind of like a game of telephone when you think about it. And that's why we're history hyenas bad.

Yeah. You know? Because you're saying you know the truth. You're saying this is the way it actually happened. Fucking prove it. Yeah. Were you there? Now you can prove it

because it's the cameras. Yeah. Now you can see what happened. Well, that's why there's a lot of rage and stuff on the planet now because now it's like you're starting to see the truth. Yeah.

Now you're starting to see what really is going on. Because if OJ had murdered Nicole. Right. Which he did and he was acquitted. I believe in our justice system.

Absolutely. I mean, we believe in laws here. Yeah. We're men of law. Now, yeah. If that had happened in 2016 or 17. Right. I mean, there's no way Ron Goldman wouldn't have fucking been streaming that shit.

Of course. We would have seen it. Seen it happen live. Yeah. Like, if OJ gets mad, you just fucking, or she just turns it on on Facebook, and then he's going to stop because he's like, yo, the whole world is watching me. Yeah. So you could only really get away with shit like that back then. Well, I mean, yeah.

And it's like now it's like, I know like what they say, like recorded history. But like that to me is like anybody can write anything. To me, history is starting to begin for humans now. When we're filming it and I can see it and it's not disputed. I don't care what somebody wrote about 300 years ago. I don't know if it happened. I don't fucking know. If George Washington could have been an asshole.

I don't know. Anyway, I got to film it. Chris was in Cleveland this weekend at Hilarities. Last time I did Hilarities. This is interesting. It's a coincidence that this is our... We great we're talking about easter the history of easter and what is easter and all that stuff because i had a bit uh basically about easter that i told and there was a greek uh priest who came to show who didn't like my joke but basically the gist of the

joke is i'll do it now here is is like, when's Jesus coming back? I go like, it's hard to keep your faith. It's been like a couple thousand years. Like, where is the dude? And it's like, Jews, I even respect Jews. You got to respect Jews even more because they believe in a Savior too. And he hasn't even shown up yet. At least our guy came once, played peekaboo and left.

But the Jewish Messiah hasn't even been here. And the Jewish Savior hasn't been here. And it's not like the Jews haven't been through some shit. I mean, it's like, if you were the Jewish Messiah, if you were a Jew, you'd probably think that the Jewish Messiah would show up around, I don't know, 1941 or something. If there was a time for a Jewish Savior to come, if that was a bat signal to the Messiah, that was it.

They're like, they're making soap out of us. You want to come down and save us right now? Yeah. You know what I mean? It's a great joke. And a crush,

but the Greek priest got upset. Then I go, what if Jesus comes back and he's not Catholic? This is the end of the joke. I'm just jumping ahead. I go, Catholics will be like,

what? You telling me I could have been jerking off this whole time without any guilt? Yeah. And Jesus is like, yeah. No yeah no actually you're supposed to come that's why i feel so good yeah that's actually me blowing in your ear it's me jesus i was here with you the whole time my son yeah i

know when you look down you only saw one hand stroking your penis yeah but i was there the whole time something like that and then he got that's when the greek priest got upset i would imagine but that's the gist that's it's a good job paraphrased it right but like you know but he got upset yeah i mean but that's the joke the gist of the joke is like look if you believe in jesus he's supposed to come back where the fuck is he you know even if he does come back let's say it's true he does come back nobody's gonna believe him cuz yeah because his name's just going to be like Steve.

Steve, yeah. Because Jesus was just a name back then. And guess what I think is going to be the most- He's going to be like, I'm the Messiah. He'll be like,

dude, I fucking played dodgeball with you in fourth grade. You're not Jesus. And guess what else is true? He's not going to be white. He's going to look like Zach Isis' face.

That's the truth. And that's why nobody will accept him. Yeah. He'll be like, I'm Messiah. They'll be like, no, you want to fucking, you're an ISIS.

That would be actually hilarious. And you know, it's like people said he did miracles and stuff. Like that was before like we even had phone, like iPhones. Imagine he's back. He comes back. He's like, yo, I'm going to turn water into wine. We're like, there's no need, dude. We got plenty of fucking wine.

Yeah. This isn't old fucking Mesopotamia where nobody had wine. There's fucking barrels of it. Like, look at the bar. We don't run out of wine. He was also, all his followers and disciples, most of them were dirt poor and had no hope. And you can make those people believe anything. It's like, you know where Jesus could turn miracles?

Fucking Cleveland. Yo, but you think if Jesus went head to head head head to head look at bardo's man he's getting mad yeah he's believing because he's because he's a fucking you know anglo-saxon protestant yeah he's getting real upset now yeah he's a protestant he's looking at you catholic but he knows you yeah he knows you're loyal to the pope and not the constitution yeah he's a fucking constitution guy and he knows deep down yeah your only loyalty is some fucking pedophile sitting in the vatican that's what and you're not wrong yeah you're not fucking wrong yeah all right i'm not

our priests can marry we don't our priests don't touch kids yeah i mean at some point we got to address this this is a problem in the catholic church big problem in catholic church what was i about to say take it you're taking away their yeah you're taking away their manhood it's bad we gotta let them marry yeah that's that's male ego stubbornness bullshit. What's going on there? It's stubborn bullshit. Why do you think it's happening? Why do I think priests rape their kids? Besides the fact that the kids are cute. First of all, yeah. If you've ever seen an altar boy

with their hair come over, I mean, they're fucking dressed for the night. Cute kids. That's number one. Number two... Is your throat closing up from the poison in the smoothie yet? A little bit, yeah. And Raphael's just looking, laughing. And then this kid's just unhinged he could probably drink that whole thing we should have fucking that's what we should have had him the internship you should have tasted these first and see him and be like ah he just dropped taste test yeah um no i think that yeah

what you know i understand we're not not drinking the smoothies i'm drinking them i'm drinking them we just had a smoothie before we got here so it's like we got no room for it. Catholic, well, because like, first of all, a Catholic priest, I don't know what it is in Greek Orthodox, but a Catholic priest has to believe that he, and it can only be he, was called by God personally. God delivered a message for them to go to the seminary, go through the tutelage for, I think it's eight years and become a priest and in that includes giving up you know being celibate giving up your right to have sex with

women so that's a tough thing because there's a lot of times where because you're usually a young man usually 18 years old when you get called to be a priest there's a lot of things that 18 year olds fucking hear yeah and then five years go by and you're like i'm wrong like one of my friends one of my friend's sons he was in the seminary and then he was like 22 23 years old raging with hormones got on facebook started talking to a girl and left the seminary so less and less priests are gonna because because it was easy it was one thing to do that where you could just send them off and be like you're only going to be around dudes and this is what it is and blah blah

blah and that's where the gay shit starts to happen because you can't take that away from someone like jail yeah it's like jail so you can't take that away from someone they're good it's life and and that finds a way so people always say life will find a way jurassic park that's what they say life finds a way and guess how you create life is through sex yeah so it. Life finds a way. And guess how you create life? It's through sex. Yeah. So it's going to find a way. Almost like when you see- A warped way. It gets warped when you fucking put it in jail, but it will find a way and it's going to come out on somebody.

Like, you know, when you look at the street pavement and you see like a little grass growing through the corner. That's what it is. Like life is trying to find a way to get out. Yeah. That's basically- Because- That's the same analogy as a priest-

Yeah. Touching a kid. Because- That's basically because that's the same analogy as a priest yeah uh touching a kid because that's the grass coming through the pavement because and it's just observations and it's just truth yeah i i was an altar boy for about five years i saw multiple priests doing sermons with full-blown woods okay they were wooded up tended up they were tended up they fucking tent pole wow some you know puerto rican woman was in the front row with her tits hanging out. And it's like, yeah, that's what's going to happen. Latina women, Puerto Rican women are gorgeous.

Most of them are Catholic. They sit in the front row because they think they're being called by Jesus. But really, they're just shaking their tits. And it's like, what do you want? You can't fuck with Mother Nature. You can't. That's the thing. That is the thing.

You can come up with all the religions you want. But at the end of the day life is here to make life and look maybe i maybe i am and we all are dead wrong maybe we are but the information that we've been given now yeah and the fucking lengths we can go to now to find out what the truth is it the reason what i'm saying it's called google it's true yeah it's true so there could be somebody like no you're wrong it's like well then prove to me how i'm wrong yeah just prove it and maybe i am wrong but we're not going to find out in this life there needs to be some higher being that's going to unless fucking elon musk turns around and tells me i'm wrong then i'll just get down on my knees

and blow him because it's like i'll blow him for forgiveness because if elon musk i kind of he's got a different brain as we've talked about. So, but that's what he believes. He kind of echoes what I say. He doesn't think that religion, he thinks religion's just a control thing for, you know? So how is it that you don't fall

for any of this stuff now? You used to. I mean, you used to be Catholic bad. Yeah. I mean, you are, you have Catholic fucking,

you look like you did some time. Yeah. Or. I don't regret my Catholic tattoos and I still choose to call myself Catholic. Yeah. And I believe. Yeah.

Just because, you know, the truth is, there's still a little bit part inside of me where it's like, I don't want to be fucking wrong. I mean, to call myself Catholic. Yeah. And I believe. Yeah. Just because, you know, the truth is there's still a little bit part inside of me where it's like, I don't want to be fucking wrong. I could talk a lot of shit down here. Yeah. But when I get to the gates of St. Peter, I want them to be like, yo, you know, you're still a good kid. You were a good kid, yeah.

Good Catholic kid. I'm trying to get in, cuz. Yeah. You got a long list, though. Yeah. Yeah. You got a long list. I don't know if you're getting in at this point.

No, why? Why do you think that? I don't know. Well, you totally could. First of all, masturbating's a sin. Masturbating's a sin. Premarital sex? Premarital sex. I mean, you know, you think that? I don't know. Well, you totally kick me. First of all, masturbating's a sin. Masturbating's a sin. Premarital sex? Premarital sex.

I mean, you know, you're putting up Hall of Fame numbers. I mean, how many times have you yoked out your bat? Yeah. I yoke it out a lot. Yeah.

I mean, you squeeze glue out constantly. Look at my thumbs. That's why they're fucking broken. Yeah. I mean, they call you Chrissy Glue Guns. I mean, you shoot a lot.

They call me Chrissy Goo. Elmers. Yeah. You're fucking Elmer DeStefano. Yeah. You shoot glue, cuz. Yeah, I glue up. That glue's not supposed to go anywhere glue guns i mean you yeah you shoot a lot call me chrissy goo elmers yeah you're elmer de stefano yeah you shoot glue cuz yeah i glue that glue's not supposed to go anywhere except for the women after marriage and only talking about only appropriate to have sex for pleasure you're going straight to hell cuz it's in your best interest not to believe in catholicism so at least you can enjoy the rest of your life because it's already done yeah i mean i never

ever go buddhist bad yeah you could i believe explain to me this catholic shit cuz you know we're talking about easter but fucking how do you sin and then fix it with hell man with a song you fix it with with with 10 hail maris yeah well what is the thinking behind that i don't know and you got to go to confession the priest is the only one you're an altar boy what do you mean you don't know what's the thinking behind you teach me here what is it how does that work? Because if it's a, first of all, if it's a venial sin, there's mortal sins and venial sins. If it's a venial sin, like just, you know, you masturbated or you lied, you have to go to confession and a priest will give you your penance, which will be 10 Hail Marys, 10 Our Fathers, depending on the severity of the crime. Because there's no way a couple priests are not spanking off in that confession. Well, that's the ironic part. I mean, there's no way a couple priests weren't fucking spanking off are not spanking off in that in that confess Well, that's the ironic part

There's no way there's like a priest is gonna say tell me to recite the act of contrition Which is what like the prayer that you need to have memorized, which I never could remember He'll yell at you for that then he'll yell at you for the sins you committed and say 10 hour father's gonna make it all better But really that whole because you don't see him really that whole time. He's getting blown by a 10 year old Well, you know while he's fucking telling me yeah you know what i can and can't do so there is a little bit of bullshit in the catholicism in the catholic religion which i know about yeah but mortal sins yeah the interesting is the mortal sin yeah so a mortal sin is like

when you kill someone or rape someone that a priest cannot forgive you yeah for the only way to get forgiven for that is by the pope himself so if the pope himself comes and absolves you of that then you really didn't kill nobody doesn't matter what the court you're still getting in you're getting in al capone yeah was believed to be absolved of his sins yeah on his deathbed yeah so he got in he got killed everybody he's in he's in It's nice how that works like that. So the Pope has all that power to do that. All that power. And you know what's another thing?

You know what's another wild thing with Christianity and that Council of Nicaea thing? Because anytime we talk about religion, you'll hear me mention that because that's when Catholicism and Christianity was just born. That's the truth of it. I mean, it's just, they started just, it was just fucking dudes sitting at a table in your home country of turkey in nicaea it was just dudes sitting there like even pat like we're talking about easter the only reason easter sunday is not because it should be if it's christian passover it should correlate with that but the only reason it doesn't is because uh the uh christians were like mad or

were mad at the jews for killing jesus or were uh jews were mad about you know they said like oh you know christians you kill uh the christians were mad at the jews for saying oh you you know you killed you killed our savior you killed jesus so now we're not going to have easter sunday on your day we're not going to celebrate our holidays together we're going to make it a week later so it's like so it's just male ego again being petty human animosity being petty

towards someone changes the whole course of a religion and then you're expected to believe it because it's some dude yeah it's some dude

and why would you be mad at the Jews that made him yeah but they're saying and the Jews didn't kill Jesus the Romans fucking killed him no but they're saying Jews gave him up

a bunch of pile of cuds yeah gave him up Mel Gibson says he'suds. Yeah. They gave him up. Mel Gibson says he's a Jew. Cuds could have been Barnabas, who was a convicted murderer. Yeah. Could have gave Barnabas up, but instead they said, no, we want Jesus. He's the king of the Jews.

So Barnabas was a fucking known dirtbag. Yeah. He fucking, he got to live and probably raped and killed people for the rest of his life. So just quick question. You don't buy a lot of this stuff, but you do buy ghosts. Ghosts is real. Ghosts are real. Ghosts are real.

I've felt the presence. So how come the Holy Spirit's a ghost? How come you don't believe in the Holy Spirit? I do believe in the Holy Spirit if it's a ghost. Yeah. It's never come to me because I'm not as religious as I should be and I don't go to church. Also, another thing, I can treat everyone with kindness. Listen to this.

I can treat everyone with kindness, everyone with respect, never masturbate, never have premarital sex, only have sex with my wife to procreate, give money, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But if I don't go to church on Sundays, if I don't go to church on Sundays, I'm not getting into heaven. And do you want to know the reason why they made that rule? Why? Because they want you to go to church on Sundays to donate to the fucking church So they said if you don't go and give us your money, you're not going to fucking heaven Do you understand the bullshit? Do you understand the bullshit some behind it all sometimes? I just wish that we would just let

Hyenas free into the streets of the city let him society let him run wild like Louis CK as a joke about lions Yeah, then you'll start to see how fucking people... You'll start to see. You'll see what happens. Let's see if Jesus can help anyone. If there's just fucking thousands of hyenas running around. Rafael DeLuca, are you okay with this? Because I know you're Catholic. Are you okay with this? I'm okay with this. I got something that's kind of similar or relevant

to what you guys are talking about. Here we go. So you know why you can't eat meat? Hit the beats. Rafael DeLuca. So you know catholics can't eat meat on friday during lent right is that back in the 1500s the catholic church was so corrupt the fish markets were doing very poorly so they made a deal with the catholic church to institute that so more people would buy fish yeah so that's all bullshit that's all bullshit and that's the same reason that's the same reason why eggs popped up on Easter. Because during Lent or Passover, Christian's Passover, during Lent, you weren't allowed to have any egg products or any eggs at all.

Probably because of that same bullshit reason. And that's why Easter eggs was a big thing on Easter. Because Lent's over now. And what do people want? What they haven't had in 40 days. Fucking eggs. The thing about humans, and I appreciate it about human beings. We're full of shit. Full of beings. We're full of shit.

Full of shit. We're full of shit. It's so much bullshit going around, but that's what makes us able to function in a society. You can't just walk around telling the truth. That's why I love hyenas. That's why I love nature. It's just straight truth. It's like I'm hungry.

I'm tired. I need to piss. I need to shit. I need to shit. This is my territory. This is yours. The stronger wins. The weaker loses. It's fucking just, that's the truth of the planet that we're on.

Yeah. And that's the truth for us, too, because we're just hyenas with sneakers on. And then we just, once we got comfortable, we had to build all this bullshit around. Like, what we're doing right now is absolute time-killing bullshit. Nobody cares about my fucking points. The only reason we're doing a podcast is absolute time-killing bullshit. Nobody cares about my fucking points. The only reason we're doing a podcast is because we can eat. That's it.

Because there's food. That's it. I mean, it's... And it's all balanced. The only reason you're scared of ghosts is because you're fucking... You slept in the bed with your mom until you were 15.

That's all the... And the only reason why I slept with my mom until I was 15 is because she probably is a devout cat and she wanted me jerking off in my own room.

Exactly. So she told me there were fucking ghosts so she could make sure I wasn't off in my own room. Exactly. So she told me there were fucking ghosts so she could make sure I wasn't fucking spanking my meat. Exactly, because if there was a fucking bunch of Cossacks coming to raid our fucking village right now in Russia, you would not be scared of fucking

ghosts. No. If somebody told you right now you had cancer or your dick was leaking, the last thing on your mind is a fucking ghost. Don't matter. You're scared of ghosts because it's convenient to be scared of ghosts. You can allow to be scared of ghosts, guys. Yeah. Because it's not real.

It's not real. It's not real. It's a byproduct of fucking living in a great society where I have no real problems. Absolutely. Because nobody was scared of ghosts in the Civil War. You were scared of fucking Vikings coming to rape you. Absolutely. Yeah.

Yeah. Being afraid of ghosts is a modern problem when it's like, what do I really have to be afraid of? Nothing. Yeah. That's the truth. Absolutely. It's the truth of it all. There's fucking little bacteria.

There's goddamn little viruses and bacteria that are much more scary than ghosts. That's why I just don't understand humans. I don't understand. Is it because ghosts aren't that scary? Is it because like if you do a ghost, a ghost isn't really that scary. It's like, ooh, there's like a ghost. Boo. But like the real truth is much more horrible.

The actual truth of like the moment you're born, the moment you come out of your mother's vag, The moment you come out of your mother's vag, there are viruses and bacteria trying to kill you 24 hours a day. Yes. The only thing that stops them from killing you is your immune system, which is fighting them. It's a fucking hand-to-hand combat going on in your body. Your entire life. Your entire fucking life. It doesn't matter.

This is not a peaceful place, cuz. This is why hyenas are the truth. Yeah. You gotta fucking fight to survive, and you gotta have your pseudo-penis ready to go. Yeah. Yo, hyenas are disgusting. Google a picture of a hyena right now and throw up your fucking lunch. That's why this kid is closer to fucking hyenas. Yeah.

Look, this kid, all he wants to do is kill. What's Christian? Yeah. And look at that. How fucking ironic is that? We're talking about Easter and Bardo brings a kid named Christian. Bardo did that on purpose because he's a white watch. Yo, Rafael DeLuca,

Isis, Chrissy D, Bardo Church. Let me ask you a question real quick. Ask it. Don't move. Look at Chrissy for a second. Look at me. See that profile? Yeah. Is that not a fucking painting you would see hanging in the mat of some fucking... I mean, this kid... Am I wrong?

Yeah. He looks like a royal family. He has royal family face. Christian does. Yeah. And he also has the body of families that have been inbreeding for years. Years and years and years. They have slaves doing everything, so he hasn't lifted...

If you put this kid on the farm, he wouldn't he couldn't lift he doesn't he doesn't have the strength yeah he's royalty he's got a royal face you're king joffrey yeah that's what your name is king joffrey you are king joffrey i mean he's calling you from now on for the entire summer you're gonna be with us for a bit you're calling king joffrey and you will only answer to that he looks like bartle whips his fucking pseudo dick out he looks like a He looks like a- Unless Bardo whips his fucking pseudo dick out. He looks like a British king bed. Yeah. I mean, that's like what a British king would look like. Yeah.

I don't buy your tie. Are you sure? Yeah, my last name is Pasqualini. Pasqualini. Pasqualini. Honestly, Little Easter. Little Easter. Little Easter.

Little Easter. Little Easter. Little Easter. Little Easter. Little Easter. Little Easter. Little Easter. Little Easter.

Little Easter. Little Easter. Yo, Bardo, you did a number on us today. You brought some fucking dirty wops in here. Yeah. Fucking hell. Farista. This is fucking a Travolta convention in here. So many fucking Italians. There's too much hair grease up in here. Yeah. Fucking hell. Farista. This is fucking a Travolta convention in here.

So many fucking Italians. There's too much hair grease up in here. Too much. Fucking Italians are hilarious. Yeah, we're good people. Yo, Italians love the Virgin Mary

so much. They love her. So much. She's our number one girl. Yo, but Jesus had a brother. That's what they say. Let's go back to history. Some gospels claim it.

I mean, he had a brother named James, dude. Imagine being James, dude. Imagine being James, dude. Imagine being James. I bet you James was fucking nice at things too. I bet you he was probably the brother that was better at stuff. He was probably a better carpenter.

He was probably a better carpenter. He was probably better looking than Jesus. He was probably a good dude. Imagine like that. I would love to go back in history. If there's one time I would like to see, it would be Jesus' time that i would love to go back in history if there's one time i would like to see it would be jesus time because i would i would like to see it just to be able to see like jesus was probably just some dude like all the 400 other whatever people

claiming to be the messiah he's just probably some dude who took shrooms once you know or or had like a bad flu and they didn't have like antibiotics so he started hallucinating from the fucking bacteria in his brain and he's like i'm fucking king of the jews right but he's probably so charismatic right and he's probably like chrissy d a little bit you know probably a good-looking kid yeah girls probably wanted to gather around and he had a lot of confidence yeah his parents built a lot of confidence in him yeah so he stood up on a rock and he started fucking preaching that's what people started coming around. Yeah.

You know what I mean? And I would love to go back and tell him and be like, yo, Jesus, you have no idea what you're doing here in sandals. You are about to be the most famous dude in the fucking world. Yeah. Ever. I mean, ever, dude. Yeah.

I mean, he didn't get to cash in on any of this. Yeah. That's the real tragedy. He's like the Van Gogh of religion. Yeah. I mean, he didn't get to cash in on any of this. That's the real tragedy. He's like the Van Gogh of religion. Yeah. I mean, he fucking died poor with none. The Bible's the most printed book. I mean, cuz, fucking how many movies about Jesus? He gets no fucking royalties, cuz.

I know. When I was in Cleveland, they had a church and they had like a modern neon sign and it said the goal of this church is to make jesus famous i'm like well maybe you haven't been outside because it's cleveland and you live in a bubble jesus is probably the i don't think there's anybody who was who are the most famous people ever would you say jesus and michael jordan i would say jesus and muhammad jesus muhammad

muhammad muhammad and jesus two probably the two most famous dudes yeah religious dudes yeah they're about buddha buddha buddha he has a lot of chinese people too and they're mostly buddhists right yeah right i think i want to do be buddhist like richard gear this is how fucking hack historian our podcast is is zach is our like resident fact guy i don't think it's hack i think you could just say progressive yeah we're progressive. We're culturally diverse. Yeah, we don't want to discriminate against people who don't have degrees. So our resident fact checker is just some kid off the street

who has tape on his glasses. He's just as valuable. He's just as valuable as anyone who's studied history. We don't want to otherize and make him feel stupider than somebody who actually has a degree and went to Yale and became a DJ. We're all the same, okay?

I mean, look, is Rafael DeLuca suffering from white privilege? I mean, his parents paid for him to go to Yale, and now he's making— No, Harvard. Harvard. His parents paid for him to go to Harvard, and now he's bringing cannolis to two fucking rejects doing a podcast. I mean, I'd say he's using his degree. Good. Is that why privilege?

I mean, we got Prince Joffrey over here, right? I mean, this kid's where you, where are you from? Prince Joff? Westchester. Westchester. So your parents probably pay for you to go to which school? Private school. NYU.

See, there you go. Is this what they envisioned? Yeah. I understand the only reason you got that is because you're white NYU. See, there you go. Is this what they envisioned? Yeah. And understand the only reason you got that is because you're white. Your parents are going to go, what did you do today? What did you learn? And you're going to go, I met two monsters. I met two people who told me that I looked like an inbred British king.

Yeah. They also told me that Bardo Church, the guy who's supposed to be my mentor, is going to make me drink baby. The blood of African babies. Yeah, the blood of African babies while he stands in the corner with a goat's head on and tells me, don't worry about it. Everyone thinks it's weird at first, but this is how show business works. And that was my day. But you see? You see what it is, Christian?

It's all bullshit. You're starting to understand now what it is. You see? You see what it is, Christian? It's all bullshit. You guys start to understand now what it is. You see, here's what it is. New York is a place that's based in truth. We tell the truth. That's why ISIS threw airplanes into buildings because they're like, we don't want to hear the truth.

LA is a place of all lies and bullshit. That's why they rape each other and just go and present themselves as heroes at the Oscars, but they're all they rape each other and just go and present themselves as heroes at the oscars but they're all raping each other yeah do you understand how both both sides have big problems and both sides shouldn't exist and the only real place is the middle of the country the places that voted for my lord and savior donald trump yo we need a week yo we got to get some sort of alex jones theme song bad

for right wing Chrissy. Yo, right wing Chrissy is a good character. I didn't vote for Donald Trump. I just want to say that. No, but your face did. Yeah, my face did. When you walk down the street, there's no way anyone thinks that you're nothing. I didn't vote for Trump.

Yeah. I mean, typical. No, I didn't vote. I didn't. And I won't. I'm a Democrat because, yo, we got some new fucking Patreon members. Oh, yeah. Should we read them out?

We didn't even look. What? Before we read the Patreon members, let's just say to you guys, for the guys who've joined our Patreon page, thank you so much. For those of you who haven't, all right, Rafael DeLuca has joined it 115 times under different names. That's how big a fan he is. This guy brought in a cannoli For each one of his accounts

That he registered As a Patreon member He's our biggest fucking fan Absolutely We got a few of you That are fucking well You're such big fans There's a few of you out there

You make us a little nervous Be honest with you Yeah But we fucking You love us the teacher Chris the teacher Keep listening Keep talking

You're a fucking psycho dude But we like it Yeah and follow us in your car No big deal Follow us in your car Yeah Yeah you're a fucking lunatic dude. But we like it. Yeah, and follow us in your car. No big deal. Yeah, follow us in your car. Yeah, you're a fucking lunatic, but we love you. Listen, no. Seriously, thank you, Chris the Teacher.

Thank you, Rafael DeLuca. Thank you, the people who are supporting us on our Patreon page. Look, 2018, guys, if you like what we're doing, you love the Bay Ridge Boys, you love Chrissy D and Yanni P, fucking pull out your pseudo your pseudo penis and throw open your freaking Visa card. Yeah. Or whatever it is. Go to Patreon. Join.

You get the bonus podcast. You get all our history tour videos. It's a great fucking page. No, Rafael? Is it not Rafael? Rafael, come on. Come on. Patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys.

DeLuca likes it. DeLuca. And he went to fucking Harvard. He went to Harvard, this kid. All right? He's a fucking. Would a DJ lie? DJs don't fucking lie, cuz.

They don't lie. And the pseudo penis, and as, you know, being the first pseudo penis of the week, you really set a high bar. I mean, you brought out smoothies and cannolis, and you came in fucking jacked. Yeah. With a Metallica shirt on. And so, like, the next pseudo penis of the week, you gotta, you gotta have to bring it. You're really gonna have to bring it.

Who gets the pseudo penis of the week this week? Um, well, I guess, I mean, we could give it to Chris the Teacher. I mean, Chris the Teacher, Chris Blumenstetter. Yeah. He offered fucking $100 just to come and sit in the fucking podcast. So he could be Pseudo Penis of the Week. You know? I mean, I don't know that we'd make it out of a lie.

We would definitely have to give him some of our skin. But I'm down to do that. Yo, Chris, he actually came out to Governor's with his wife. He's a good kid. He gave me a card. He brought me a card, which is a little wild, but I appreciate it. And there was a 20 spot in there for me and you. I spent the 20.

Yeah, you didn't give me shit. He's always trying to get me out of my daughter's 529 college savings plan. He's always trying to give me advice on that. And I'm like, listen, Chris, I like you a a lot but why don't you just you know what i mean i can't what are you gonna do i got accountants that help me out with this the best part of being a comedian is like we're so accessible yeah like you know the luka just showed up the lukas he just shows like i'm downstairs yo he texted you like he was fucking wild. Like he was your boy Lukasz.

Yeah. He's like, yo, I'm downstairs. I got smoothies. I got cuddlies. And we invited him right out. No problem. He's on the show. That's how easy it is.

Yeah. That's how fucking easy it is. If you're a fan of history hyenas, try it. Just fucking. Chrissy D is so fucking wild. Yeah. I'm a paranoid freak. I'll let you on the show.

Chrissy will fucking let you stay at his house. You'll be at his house, cuz. Chrissy will bring you up to his house.

Chrissy does not give a fuck about anything. You are one of the most wild people moving around

this planet. You don't give a fuck, cuz. Yesterday, you're having a smoothie today.

Yesterday, you had a donut. You don't give a fuck about the place. The only

thing I care about is my daughter Delilah and the fucking Yankees. That's it. That's about it. They're having a good year this year. You had a donut. You don't give a fuck. Go someplace. The only thing I care about is my daughter Delilah and the fucking Yankees. That's it. That's about it. They're having a good year this year. Yeah, well, no. So far, so good.

Game got canceled for the snow. Yeah, same thing. And guess who thanks for that? Guess who really canceled the game? The Jews. The Jews! Yeah. With their weather control.

All right. Happy Easter, everybody. Happy Easter. And here's to the new people who joined us. Chatty. C-H-A-D-I. Chatty. You're a fucking good guy. Thank you. Chatty? That's his name. It's Chatty. C-H-A-D-I. Chatty. You're a fucking good guy.

Thank you. Chatty? That's his name. It's Chatty. C-H-A-D-I. It could be a girl. Chatty underscore Hadara at Hotmail. I think that's a girl.

Hotmail account? Yeah. Old school. Yeah. Email Chatty. Yeah. Try to find the gender. Not that it matters.

We're in neutral. Hotmail account. That's wild. John Mangino. How you doing there, Chatty? Yo, John. Pete Davoli. Yo, Pete. That's wild. John Mangino. How you doing there, Johnny? Yo, boy. Yo, John. Pete Davoli.

Yo, Pete, we got a lot of fucking Italians. Thank you. Horace Gotchavik. That's a Serbian. Slovenian or something. Croatian. We just said that. Big Lithuanian and Slavic population in Cleveland.

And a lot of them came to the show. So thank you. Yeah, thank you for going and supporting my boy Chrissy. Rishi? This guy is Rishi. He's Rishi Chowdhury, so he's Indian. Indian. He's fucking a Rishi's peanut butter cup of wine.

What's up, Rishi? Rishi. And then we got Paul Navajo. Yo, what's up, Navajo? Paul Navajo. Native Americans. Yeah, you live on a reservation, cuz? What's up? What's up with you, cuz? Yo, drink an Arizona iced tea and? Holy Navajo. Native Americans. No reservation, cuz. What's up?

What's up with you, cuz? Drink an Arizona iced tea and send us a picture of you there. Show you your style. Alexandra. Oh, what's up? Just one name, Alexandra Cruz. Oh, what's up? How you doing?

Nice to see you. That's great. Last but not least, Daniel Vanturini. Yo, Daniel Vanturini, what's up? You gonna fucking be at the festival this year? You selling Zepp up? You're going to fucking be at the festival this year? You selling Zeppelis? What's the fucking politics of the street this year? You fuck.

So thank you guys so much for listening. We appreciate it. Like the podcast. We're on iTunes, History Hyenas. Join mine and Giannis' channel on patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. We got a new Bay Ridge Boys episode coming out very, very soon. And yeah, thank you guys for just, you know, being who you are and spreading your pseudo penises

all over this great country. And, you know, find yourself a friend. Yeah. Stroll out. Yeah. And make sure you are a cutie with a smoothie. Smoothie. At all times.

And a true blue gay. Thank you, guys. ស្រូវាប់បានប់បានប់បានប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប Bye.