History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 97 - Dunkirk was WILD!

Episode Date: November 24, 2019

The Cuzzies get into the Frank and Beans moves that lead to the Allies getting CRACKED open by the Huns at The Battle of Dunkirk! The FF mistakes, the Germans screwed in steps, and Chrissy teaches us about how high the Nazis got on Panzer Chocolate! Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

ស្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែលាប់ប្រូវតែល What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of the History Hyenas. I'm Chris DiStefano. Got my co-host, Yanis Pappas. We're correspondents on The Daily Show. We're two Armenian kids from New Jersey. We just got our license to open our hot dog stand. We'll be on 14th Street and 10th Avenue.

It doesn't matter. So come down to 14th Street and 10th Avenue. We'll be there tomorrow selling tickets. Because we're trying to put our grandkids through school. It doesn't matter. Yeah, tomorrow's Sunday, November 38th. Yeah, the year's 1946. It doesn't matter. You've got to understand that nothing matters.

We got reviewed by the New York Times, which is a huge deal for us. Reality is just a suggestion. When you start this podcast, I've said it again. I just need to remind some of our new fans because we have a lot of new fans. Thank you guys for the fans who are new to the matriarchy, the fans who have went to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys and officially joined the matriarchy. And I've said I'm going to give up my and officially joined the matriarchy and have said,

I'm going to give up my pseudo-penis to the Lord and Savior herself, Venetia. And they're giving us money, and then you become a non-toot. You're a fucking prostitute if you keep listening to this for free, and that's just what it is. Eventually, we will suck your blood. But I just want to say welcome. And just to the new fans, reality is a suggestion for the next hour. So wherever you're listening to this, in your car, on the elliptical.

Hong Kong, Lebanon. Hong Kong, yeah, Lebanon. You're listening to this wherever you are. You could be at a DNC rally or with the Klan. It doesn't matter. Or you're an executive from Comedy Central. It doesn't matter. You're an executive from Comedy Central that left because you smelled that there were more truffles somewhere else. But all of Los Angeles is on fire anyway, so you're just going to have to move.

Yeah. It doesn't matter. So my point is this. Reality is a suggestion. We're freedom fighters. We're freedom fighters. We're going to talk. We're fucking woke.

We're dope. We're the new crusaders, okay? But not in the Christian way. Not in the Christian way. In the Muslim way. Yeah, in the Muslimlim way we're fucking jihad for cocks we're jihad we're crusaders for jihad yeah if i if the crusades were today i'd be full muzzy i'd be on the muzzy side yeah but you you you're also a chinese kid yeah i'm a chinese kid from amsterdam and that's just the way the cookie crumbles because you're also a cookie and cookies crumble cookies do crumble

and i've i've been wearing and supporting Tommy John underwear, which are $35 a pair, and I farted and blew holes through all of them. Yeah, and I have- So the material sucks. And I have no underwear on at all. As low as. Yeah. Yeah.

So I just paid $35 a pop to just blow one fart out, and then there's just a hole in them. So Tommy John, if you're listening, you can't be a sponsor until you- You got to have quality for big butts. You do. Okay? Because I got to- Yanni noticed that I was in a bad mood today, and it's because my butt was hungry.

Yeah, you're a big-butted kid that needs a bite. Yeah, I need a bite. There's a couple hours a day that you're a big-butted kid who needs a bite. Yeah, I just need a bite. And you want to stay out of that big-butted kid's way when he needs a bite. Yeah, I know. Because he could throw hands at you because he's hungry. I'm a fucking hungry, hangry kid.

Shout out, Paulie Gossie. Thanks for taking me early today in boxing. Let me get a workout in. You also told me that your favorite drummer of all time is Animal from the Muppets. It's what it is. Tickle me almost half price out of the car, outside of your mom's garage. That's what he told me today. He was dead serious.

And you're just an F&B kid. And next time I see you, I'm going to kiss you right on the lip. That's what you're going to do. I'm just a good kid who likes to kiss on the lips and I like to suck the lower lip and lick your teeth. That's what it is. That's what it is.

And here's the true story. I am completely out of underwear. I have one pair of underwear and that underwear is in my car and that underwear is from my recently passed away dad's underwear draw. Yeah, you're wearing your dead dad's undies. No, it's in the car.

I didn't even put them on because I forgot them in the car. Yeah. With the rest of the boxes, the t-shirts that have been in there for four days, I don't know why someone hasn't broken into my car yet. Yeah, I was going to say you can just wear it for undies because all the t-shirts from the Gramercy Theater show that we didn't sell, you could just cut one out and make them undies.

I could do that as well. Yeah. But Venetia, when she was just sitting in my back seat, she was sitting on my dead dad's undies. Yeah, it's just what it is. Venetia feels nice and safe today because she's on the fourth floor and Paddy Fly Balls can't touch her hair for a while. Yeah, I mean, you know.

It's just what it is. I got friends that are creeps that are going to go down. Yeah, they just don't do HR sensitivity trainings with the FDNY. Yeah. And when those kids got a couple, when those kids get a couple bruising them,

all bets are off. Yeah, HR is a nightmare. If you're HR, an HR department in Ridgewood wouldn't work. It wouldn't work. It just wouldn't work. They'd be like, hi, how you guys doing? So we wanted to get the whole company together to teach you some of the do's and don'ts of an office environment.

And they would go, yeah, I got one of the do's and don'ts. Do, don't be a faggot. Don't be a faggot. Don't be a faggot. It's what it is. Yeah. I was 14. We may be coming back from a cackle. I don't know because it was a character piece.

Yeah. Venity is back from work in Florida, thank God. That's exactly what the HR would be. Yeah. It would take two minutes to say, don't be a faggot. I welcome to Ridgewood. It's what it is. Zach's also in here.

He shaved his head but not his beard. So he's fully submitted to Islam now. He's fully submitted. Yes, look at him. The reason why the kid gave himself a haircut with some clippers, he probably bought it Rite Aid, is because the kid had a big show this weekend with the little guy. Yeah, with the little tranny.

Yeah. The little tranny that could. And that kid has no nose. His glasses are just on his face. And what's his name? Fucking Jan? His name's Jan. It's just his-

Jan. He's just got an ambiguous name, too. You don't know what he is. He's a guy or girl. He doesn't know what the fuck the kid is. You don't know if he's a little person, big person. You don't know what he's... If he's a baby in an adult's clothing.

I don't know. He looks like a transgender Jiminy Cricket. Is what he looks like. And the kid has legit no nose. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about? The kid could sing... Yeah, he really does.

He has no nose. And I was looking and I'm saying, how are those glasses staying on his face? The kid can sing his little estrogen-filled face off, too. He really can. Yeah, and then Mike's also in here, and Mike's sad because Mike just came in. There's no Slurpees here. Yeah, Mike just came in. Yeah, he's sad because he thought they were bringing the McRib back to McDonald's, but they're not.

They're not doing that, and there's no Slurpee, and the kid's having a nice little iced coffee. Yeah, fucking Mike's a great kid. Mike's going to get kissed on the lip. He is going to get kissed on the lip, and the only problem with Mike is we're working him to death. Yeah, fucking Mike's a great kid. Mike's going to get kissed on the lip. He is going to get kissed on the lip, but the only problem with Mike is we're working him to death. Yeah. That's the only thing I'm scared, because anytime we have something to do, we just say, Mike, do it, and he does it, whether it's 2 in the morning or 7 in the morning. Seriously, is there something all right?

I will come over there and take a look. Oh, no, I was a little tired. That's fine. Oh, why don't you get some sleep? Remember? You want to know why he's tired? Because Bobby's a tyrant! Yeah! Bobby, thank God 800-pound gorilla bought this place, because we're on our way out. Bobby, when we leave here, we're taking Mike with us! Yeah. Bobby, thank God 800 pound gorilla bought this place because we're on our way out. Bobby, when we leave here, we're taking Mike with us. Yeah, Zach too.

It doesn't matter. We're the biggest thing on this network. Yeah, thank God you have us. That doesn't wear a wig. It's what it is. It's what it is. Yeah, because it's just what it is. It's just us and Chippy. Yeah, I'll punch you in the stomach and your shorts will fall down. It's what it is.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, everyone can get hands. No matter who you are, you can get hands, and I'm talking to you, too. Girls gotta eat. Yeah, girls gotta eat. Get it, the search engine. Get that name in the SEO.

Yeah, we'll take everybody out. Yeah, it doesn't matter. No, cuz. Yeah, Nikki Glaser's reading everybody's texts on there. I'm gonna start doing it, too. Yeah, why not? We're under strict... Doesn't matter if I'm reading everybody's texts.

We're under... That's a little kiss. We're under strict. That's not a mean in everybody's text. We're under. That's low-key ass. We're under strict order from Dan Soder not to talk to her. It's what it is. I am a soldier in Dan Soder's war. I am a soldier in the army called Dan Soder. Yeah, it's what it is. And the other girl was his ex-girlfriend.

I didn't even know that, that she was his ex-girlfriend who used to be a tennis player. That girl's from Pock Slope. She's from Pock Slope. Yeah. She's from Pock Slope. And now she's a comedian. Yeah, they're all comedians. They're all nightmares. Everyone's a comedian. I mean, it just

doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you're a reporter. If you're a journalist, just change careers. Become a comedian. We're going to have the kid Michael Moynihan on. He'll be a comedian. He's going to be doing stand-up at the Comedy Cellar next week. Yeah, everybody's passed at the Comedy Cellar now. Nothing matters. Who gives a fuck at all?

Today we're going to talk about, the history we're going to talk about today is the Battle of Dunkirk. And you guys have probably seen the movie Tom Hardy, which I tried to watch. But it's hard to get through a movie with Tom Hardy because I just want to constantly jerk off. The kid's a handsome, bite-sized little fucking squeak. I mean, that kid's a little pipsqueak, but I mean, make no mistake. Listen to me now and listen to me good. Listen good. Tom Hardy will get fucking cracked out. I mean, will kid's a little pipsqueak, but I mean, make no mistake. Listen to me now and listen to me good. Listen good. Tom Hardy will get fucking cracked out.

I mean, will get cracked open. Sorry. You're going to get punched through. Listen to me now and listen to me good. Yeah. Tom Hardy will get fucking cracked open. I mean, when I see that guy, he literally, to me, he looks like a fire hydrant with a puss.

And I want to bang it out and then come in his fucking fire hydrant ass and yell Trump 2020 and kiss him on the ear. You see, it just goes off the rails at the end with Chrissy. Yeah. We were with him and then it's just, he's coming in somebody's face or there's an open asshole

at the end. Sorry about that. Or he's saying in my reality that I'm... It's to me good. Yeah. If I ever met Tom Hardy in person,

he would get kissed on the lips and I'd suck his teeth. That's what you... Word. You know what happened? Because he's a cute kid. He's a fucking... And this is what's going to happen to every cute kid out there?

And I tell you what, every time I hear a guy with a British accent, I get a little pyoing. You get a little pyoing for that, right? Yeah, my dick gets a little wet. And I think it's chlamydia, but it's not. It just got a drip because he's got a British accent. Yeah, and the reason why is... I saw the 1975 this weekend, and I'm fully gay now. Yeah, and you're also voting for Bernie because that's who they're voting for.

Yeah, I'm voting for Bernie because that's who 420 wants to vote for, and I'm just trying to impress her. Yeah, and so does 1975. I'm trying not to let 420 go, but it's going to probably end. Yeah, hopefully we're going to stop referring to her by her cell number at some point soon. Well, I'm trying to keep her safe and then people saw me at the 1975 concert

in New Jersey this past weekend and I was with a couple of girls from Comedy Central and then we posted a picture and they were all messaging me and her saying that's who 420 is, and it's just not. And the reason why British accents get you pioing is because they supported the boys in World War II. Yeah.

So that's what it is. Yeah, they supported the boys. And the reason why French accents don't get you pioing is because you guys are fucking pussies who got steamrolled by the Luftwaffe. Yeah, it's by the Luftwaffe. Fucking stupid. Yeah, the Luftwaffe. The Luftwaffe, which is the German Air Force. Yeah, we's by the Luftwaffe. Yeah, the Luftwaffe.

The Luftwaffe, which is the German Air Force. Yeah, we're going to talk about Dunkirk, and it's going to be, let me tell you something about Dunkirk. Dunkirk is V interesting. It's mad, woke, and dope. And the movie Dunkirk, what was the movie called?

Was it called Dunkirk? Dunkirk. The movie Dunkirk was good. I saw it, but it doesn't tell you the real story, and it just, a lot of movies do this, and just like how our country does the same thing you know america because anytime first of all when you

think about world war ii you just think about 1941 to 45 but that's it started in 1939 it's just america entered in 41 yeah so there's a lot of shit that happened same thing with dunkirk it's like oh yeah britain did a great job leaving you know getting their small boats across the bay to get the soldiers back which is all, but they also took the British, the British took their own first, and then a lot of French and Belgian soldiers just were left there to be steamrolled by the fucking Luftwaffe. They were steamrolled. And people don't talk about that. Yeah.

When that movie Dunkirk came out, in France there was kind of uproar, because they're like, you're not saying you don't tell that you left like 60,000 French soldiers to die on the beaches. But it's Estelle Chaos. It's like, listen, listen France, okay? If you want to get your boys out, then fucking stop making Pink Panther

and get some boats over here. Just do that. Yeah, put down your croissants. You know what it was? It was like that kind of Ronda Rousey-Nunez fight going in. Everyone thinks Ronda Rousey's this big, bad bitch. She's only lost once.

It was a fluke. That was the French army because they were saying, hey, this is the best army. It's the biggest army. And then the Germans were just Amanda Nunes. Yeah. And it came in and just bang, bang, bang, bang.

And the girl just didn't know what hit her. By girl, I mean you, you fr- Yeah, that's what it is. Cackles were back. Yeah. The hottest girl I ever banged in my life was a French man. Yeah. That's okay.

The other one, you did bang someone who looked like Dominic Bunch. Yeah, Gad Elmaleh's here and he has a career, but nobody knows what you're Who looked like Dominic Yeah Gad Elmaleh's here And he has a career But nobody knows What you're saying guy What? Gad Elmaleh He's a big

Jerry Seinfeld of France But the kid just Fucking prances around On Netflix It doesn't fucking matter Kids marry royalty It doesn't matter It doesn't matter

And the reason why He's the French Jerry Seinfeld Is because he uses his jokes Yeah That's what it is Don't cackle it Because it's true

Yeah it's true But the kid's a nice kid And I like true, but the kid's a nice kid. And I like Gat Elmaleh. He's a nice kid, but he's a joke thief. I genuinely love Gat Elmaleh, yeah. I would love to have him on the podcast if he is listening. Yeah, we're just kidding. No, just get Gat Elmaleh on.

I don't care about anything he has to say, but he does got a lot of followers. I don't see a smokey ass. That's what we're doing now. We're in the business of getting you on for your followers. Listen, guy, if your name is searchable on the SEO search engine, which Mike said that SEO is really important, we just want you on the podcast. You can talk about whatever you want, promote whatever you want.

I don't give a fuck. We don't care. If you're going to help us, then we're going to use you. And if you don't repost when we post, then I'm going to come to your house and smash your face in your mother's mashed potatoes. Yeah, your face is going into the mashed potatoes. And look, Chris may want Gadon, but I don't want Gadon because he's French.

And the only reason I would want you on is if your country changes the name to Freedom Fries. It's what it is. And until then, I don't want anything to do with any French people. Yeah, it doesn't matter. And as soon as you get to the next level, Ryan Hamilton, I'm releasing your episode too. And that's what we're going to do. I don't give a fuck anymore. And you can take it to the Church of Latter-day Saints,

whatever you want to fucking do, I'll throw hands with everybody. Because Jesus is on my side. And listen, we're in the business of extorting people now. So listen, Ryan Hamilton, if you don't give us 10 grand in cash pronto, somebody's going to be excommunicated from the Church of Latter-day Saints. Yeah, I'm going to tell your fucking fathers that you bad girls on the side. It's a character piece. That was just a character piece.

He actually never said anything. It was a character piece. He's a virgin. He's a nice kid. He's a nice kid. He's just a nice kid. And yeah. That was a play. It was just a play. Yeah, that was a play. We do it. He's a virgin. He's a virgin. He's a nice kid. He's a nice kid. He's just a nice kid. And yeah. That was a play.

It was just a play. Yeah, that was a play. We do it. It's a couple firefighters. We all had a dream of doing a little play. That play's called Dabbling in the Entertainment Business. Yeah, Dabbling in the Entertainment Business. We're just kidding around.

But yeah, any high-ranking comic, besides the ones that I respect, if you try to act, it's not the 80s or 90s anymore, okay? We don't really need you. So if I wrote for you Jerry Seinfeld and you tell me not to curse and I curse and you give me an attitude, your face is going in the toilet That's right You're getting into mashed potatoes You're the least funniest part

Of your own sitcom That's what it is But you do got a billion dollars And guess what I don't fucking care Because I'll extort you for all of it That's what we'll do It doesn't matter

That's what we'll do Or we'll kidnap your opener And you won't care Because you have a cold heart Yeah, you're just a cold hearted Fucking You're almost as much of a robot As Robot Venetia

New game coming soon. Yeah, it doesn't matter. I don't care anymore. We can just say and do what we want because we fight for the Schultz Army. That's what we do. And he protects us. He falls asleep on his Tesla driving 90 miles an hour at Tesla KS. Yeah.

He put it on his Instagram. The kid almost died, and I'm happy he didn't. But if he did, I was just going to take his flagrant two podcasts home. That's what we're going to do. Yeah, I mean- Tesla KS. Him and his boy Alex, they drove back from Philadelphia, was it? 90 minutes into Tesla, everyone fell asleep.

Everyone fell asleep, yeah. And the kid, yeah. And we were this close to hearing Flagrant 2 brought to you by the Bay Ridge boys and the kid who almost had a falafel cart. Yeah, I mean. Yeah, I was going to say, he would have been the biggest loser in that whole situation. Yeah, no. Kaz would be there too. Getting married.

I like Kaz. Yeah, you can't lose schultz okay it's like what are you gonna do yeah if you lose schultz you know it's like that would be like the nazis without without hitler they'd have no ambition yeah they got you just can't do it yeah now speaking of speaking of the nazis and dunkirk here's what's very interesting about the that battle specifically is okay so first of all um in france the french army was supposed to be you know before world war one happens the big winners of course france england us germany gets fucking decimated the treaty of versailles they can't they can't build up an army they can't do any of that stuff they

have no money and then hitler just says in like the late early 1930s he's like fuck everybody i'm gonna start building the army and i'm just gonna start pushing yeah he just started doing little pushes he just put he He just started doing little pushes. He would just push a little bit into Poland. Then he just pushes a little bit into Belgium, and he just wants to see what the French and British superpowers are doing. And the truth is they're doing nothing. And you want to know the truth why they're doing nothing? Why is that?

Do you want me to be crystal clear with you right now? Or you can crumble the cookies. I can crumble a little bit. People could say whatever they want. Podcasts can say whatever they want. Here's the truth. Okay, I read this book, book the nazi symbiosis and the truth of the situation is this france and england and for that matter the united states the fucking boys nobody wanted to get involved because they knew that germany germany's science which we'll go over later in

this episode was just superior to everyone's because when they're getting they have no money they have no army so what they were allowed to do was science during the treaty of versailles period you know post-world war one pre-world war two so what they were starting to fuck with was eugenics i've spoke about this before on the podcast they started mixing gene pools and france and britain knew that the reason why they were most likely pushing in to get all this territory was to get human subjects for their tests so france and england were turning blind eyes to this shit and letting countries that they really didn't care about like poland and other eastern european nations just get their people fucking steamrolled like my boy lukasz my daughter's godfather's just got a steamroll face so that kid's just he's got doc

how face if i've ever seen it yeah so that's just what it is they just taking kids that look like that that they don't really nobody cares about them unfortunately they were just well from the german point of view yeah exactly yeah that's not me i'm not saying no no yeah i'm not saying it's just slipping out yeah it's not even a character piece yeah that's not even a character we know it's not a character yeah no those people's bones were just used for bullets yeah and it's just and i that's not my i'm that's not my opinion i'm saying this is what germany right and in some ways france and england felt the same they were like whatever those countries they don't have any money. Use them as a test subject.

So they didn't want to get involved. But then Germany started pushing a little too far. And then France and Britain, to save face, had to start to get involved. And that's when they start to come in in Dunkirk. But they really could have stopped them from invading Poland and Belgium if they wanted to. But they didn't. Well, I think they could have tried. But Germany was a war machine at that point. Well, yeah, Germany was a war machine.

To your point, being funded by some pretty big international companies. Yeah, big international companies were funding Germany's war machine. And also, the whole idea of a blitzkrieg, which is lightning warfare, was a new, modern idea. Now, when he means lightning warfare, it doesn't

mean they were using lightning bolts. No, yeah, I'm not saying they were shooting lightning bolts. It wasn't lightning. He goes, yeah, it was lightning warfare. It means they were just shooting a lot of bolts, and they were fucking blitzkrieging you, like they were using lightning bolts. No, yeah, I'm not saying they were shooting lightning bolts. It wasn't lightning. You said lightning. He goes, yeah, it was lightning warfare. It means they were just shooting a lot of bolts and they were fucking blitzkrieging you, meaning they were going all out. Yeah, well, they couldn't be doing lightning warfare. It's called facing the mashed potatoes warfare. Yeah, well, they couldn't use lightning warfare anyway because Jews are the ones that control the weather. That's what it is.

They didn't have that. Yeah, the Jews are the only ones who got the lightning bolts from those clouds. Yeah, because Jews created those clouds. They created them, so Hitler couldn't get to them. Yeah. But here's the thing. So a lot of, so what happened was, yes, France had a humongous army. Britain had a humongous army.

But like many other, you know, nations, they were basking in the glory of winning World War I. And all their machinery, the tanks, the planes, the bombs, the guns, it was all a little archaic by the time 1940 runs around and germany had that new shit germany had the panzer tanks germany had the lufwaffe germany had high ranking weaponry that they had practiced and knew how to use inside and out when they started storming into these countries where france had tanks that they had to read the manuals while they were driving the tanks. So they were just getting fucking annihilated by the superior German army.

So it's in many ways, it's like, you know, it's kind of like how big comedians just get left behind because they don't know how to adapt because nobody cares about the Tonight Show anymore. They just care about the podcast. Yeah, we're talking to you, Joe Mackey. Yeah, so it's like, listen. So it's like, listen, Andrew Schultz is Blitzkrieg and Dan Natterman's Poland.

That's no cast. But it's true. We're just kidding. We love you guys. I don't know what you're doing. Have a thicker skin. Who cares? We don't care.

We're doing live podcasts. Yeah, I'd love to. It doesn't fucking matter, Dan. I'd love to come on your fucking comedy show with Noam. It's like anybody can do comedy now, Noam. It's like I thought you were in the business, but now you got to do comedy with Liz. We just got to do comedy with Liz. It's just, we just got to fucking deal with it.

You just take up the table and do your fucking dumb show that we just have to be like, yeah, it's great because we want to do the spots. The truth of the matter is you're making money off us and, you know,

we're just going to take it in the ass until we get to the next level. And then we're just going to drop in. Maybe we will, maybe we won't. Yeah, we'll do what we want at that point. We'll do what we want to do, okay? Yeah.

Yeah. I'll use you as your fucking toothpaste. You got, you can't, I think you really can't. Yeah, we'll do what we want at that point. We'll do what we want to do, okay? Yeah. Yeah. I'll use you as your fucking toothpaste. You can't. I think you really can't. Yeah, I mean, that was about as CC as you can get. Yeah. Yeah. That was what you called-

Mike's editing out. No, we're keeping it all in, Mikey. You're not the FCC. Let's have a discussion. Yeah, no, it's fine. No, no. Look, it's all character. We're just kidding around.

Everybody, you own a club. Now we have to listen to your fucking entertainment. Just put the money in and fucking book the room. Just be the business. I mean, you know, we got to just deal with everybody now. Everybody, yeah. Everybody's got a podcast. What, is this the Waitstaff podcast now?

It's like, we all got jobs. Yeah, how about one night, let's have you do the shows, and I'll serve the fucking suvacca. Yeah, just sit back and enjoy the fact that people are coming to see us and we're getting paid only a couple dollars in cash while you're making millions. Yeah, well, you're probably making millions and we got a fucking suck dick for $75.

I mean, you should be giving us $500 a spot. You really should. Or take our names off the lineup so people don't know we're going to be in town. Yeah, and I'll be a fucking mystery guy. Yeah, how about that? Yeah. We're not stupid fucking kids.

Yeah, that just got off a tangent. Let's just go back to the Nazis. I love that going back to the Nazis is a safer space. But you were saying. I was saying this. We're going wild right now. Because we go wild every episode. That's what we do.

I'm in a full blackout. We just met with our manager and he said, what's the brand of this podcast? And I said, I wanted to say, It's called the History Hyenas You fucking stupid Truffle pig Yeah Fucking stupid We go wild What we do is

We make the fucking ad We make the people laugh And they explode into truffles And then our manager goes And sniffs them out He goes and finds He goes and finds Little bags of money

You can't underestimate The cultures It's funny You said that real broken Yeah cultures You can't underestimate The cultures Alright guys

Welcome to History Time. Yeah, because I got to take a breath. I'm lightheaded. Yeah, you're a little lightheaded. You're a big-bodied kid who needs a bite. Love you, 420. Yeah. Germany also was desperate.

I mean, they're coming from an economy, an inflated economy, where their money was basically toilet paper. Hyper-inflated. Hyper-inflated because their money was toilet paper because they were squeezed by the Allied forces in World War I. Treaty of Versailles. Squeezed hard. They were blamed for World War I. They should have been blamed for World War I.

Well, it wasn't all their fault. It's always their fault. Whatever you say. It's always their fault. Germany can't help themselves because here's the truth. Yeah, tell us. Here's the truth. Yeah, tell us. Here's the truth. We all are different people that come from different parts of the world,

and we all have cultural traits that get into our DNA. And S-Law-K-S. We're all the same. We're all humans, but we're different. Right. And Germans, they're just recently civilized people that for most of history was just barbaric tribes. And the Greeks civilized them, and they can't help themselves. You guys are barbarians.

You've been trying your whole existence to get at the gates of Rome, get at the gates of Greece, get at the gates of the Ottoman Empire, to lead the Crusades. You guys are bloodthirsty, and you got no souls. You're fucking robot Venetiasias and you can't be stopped. And it's what it is. So you can't say that World War I or World War II happened for any other reason except Germans are fucking evil. Es lo que es.

But here's the thing. Yes, Germans are recently civilized, but now we are – I don't mean we. I mean German people. You're a German kid from Ridgewood. I'm a German kid from Ridgewood, but I am 0.8% Greek. Venetia, tell your yaya. Some is better than nothing. Something's better than nothing.

I'm coming over. It's definitely better than what she had going on before you in her dad's eyes. Yeah, I mean that kind of, yeah. Her dad was like, listen, our wedding's not going to have a salsa band at it. Yeah, yeah. We're Greek kids. It's only going to have a salsa band at it. Yeah. Yeah. We're Greek kids. It's only going to be bazooka. Yeah.

It's just what it is. That's how we're going to have bazooka and there will be no fucking. I mean, he had out the roach spray. Yes, look at us. Yeah. But the wedding is not going to take place in Chris's baby mama's hallway. Yeah, we're not getting this wedding financed by Banco Popular. You got another thing coming.

There will be no empanadas at the fucking wedding. It'll be only dead opintas and spidey gopitas. But I'm not going. Yeah, Mike will not be allowed to go, but believe it or not, I think Mexicans are more welcome than what Venetia had going on. Yeah, nobody's coming to this wedding in jeans and football jerseys. Word. are more welcome than what Venetia had going on. Yeah, nobody's coming to this wedding in jeans and football jerseys. There will be nobody here with a shaped-up beard and their eyes tweezed.

Yeah, and anyone who's related to a minor leaguer. It won't happen at their wedding. Yeah, it's not going to happen. It's not going to happen, Venetia. Everybody who comes to this wedding, their cars have to be able to get over a speed bump. It's what it is. Es lo que es.

There will be nobody in a Honda Civic at this wedding. Yeah, it's what it is. It's what it's going speed bump. It's what it is. Es lo que es. There'll be nobody in a Honda Civic at this wedding. Yeah, it's what it is. It's what it's gonna be. It's what it is. Nobody at this wedding can own a snake. There will not be late night reggaeton at the wedding, Venetia. It's what it is. Nobody with a pitbull in their prom photo. Yeah. Yeah. There won't be a family going to, when

you see the podcast sitting at the podcast table at your wedding, you won't have a bunch of family members of your husband toto-be going, please do a little bit of Marissa. Yeah, it's not going to happen. Nobody's going to say, that's it, what you say I do. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So I think from- Everybody at that wedding's got it. If they're only allowed to have one kid from one woman. And that's what it is. Yeah. And I think at this point you could guess the ethnicity of Venetia's late great boyfriend. Yeah.

Rest in peace from Venetia's father's talking to her. Let's just say that kid was thrown over the wall. Let's just say that kid died via Venetia's father giving her a talking to. Yeah. Saying, I know you're having a little fun, but that's not what's going to happen. That kid went back to work in security at the mall. Yeah. Your father basically was the mother from the notebook and said, you know what,

it's just not going to work out. And your father's been hiding all his letters to you, but you wouldn't be able to understand them because they're

in Spanish anyway. Yeah. That's your cat. Oh, that was a character piece. Yeah, character piece. It's character piece. Yeah, I don't even know,

we don't know anything about a person's life. That was a character piece, a little play that I'm working on with my partner. My partner's Patty Moroni. We're a couple firefighters from Richmond, Queens, and we're dabbling in the diner business. So that was a character piece A little play that I'm working on With my partner My partner's Patty Mulroney We're a couple firefighters From Richmond, Queens

And we're dabbling in the In the diner business So that was a That was a podcast About a Greek family That was a play about a Greek family Yeah There we go

Zach's fucking got a bag of trips And a new haircut Yeah And Zach's just He's fully jihad I mean he's shaved his head And he's just left the beard Yeah but you know what

I was I looked at some of their stories And the songs were actually Fucking dope No they are good Yeah they're fucking dope. So there's a reason why Zach half pays attention to this podcast. No, no, yeah.

Because he's got all this shit going on. You know what I mean? Whereas me, you, and Mike, this is it, or we're going back to fucking working at 7-Eleven or something. Yeah, it's just what it is. You come back to be a physical therapist, and me and Mike will just carry your bags. Yeah. Because me and Mike have no choices on education. Venetia's just going back to Milan If this doesn't work out

On a work trip So Germany was getting ready for war This whole time Everyone else was just tired of war So France, England They were being on the defensive Even though the war started in 1939 Even though they were invading Poland

They were thinking, you know what We'll just use the Maginot Line as a way to protect ourselves so we don't have to worry about fighting. The Maginot Line is so French. How French is the Maginot Line? They put a couple of metal bars on the border

and they left Belgium unguarded. They're like, that's going to keep Germany out. They did that because, very French too, like, you know, politics. it's like and this is goes back to how germany germany most people germany they're little aspergers they don't care about your feelings okay they don't have feelings they don't have feelings so what germany if what what the maginot line specifically was is it was france's entire border with germany uh they put a line up they put a blockade up. But France also shares a border with Belgium. But they didn't want to put the Maginot Line onto Belgium

because they were like, we don't want them to think that we don't like them. They were allies. They were allies. But Germany would have just blockaded everybody. So what happens is then Germany, so they build up this line. They built the fucking whole thing up, France. Spent a lot of money, a lot of manpower building up this line.

Germany invades Belgium. Belgium initially was neutral, but then just lets them in. They got fucking steamrolled. Belgium only became allies with France. Belgium only became part of the allies after they already got invaded by Germany. So Germany just enters northern France through Belgium. And they thought they could get through the forest. It's like, hey, guy, you left your basement door unlocked, guy.

I'm coming in that way. I came in through the back door, which I've been through the back door a couple of times, too. Yeah, and so have people in our culture. That's why we're Greek kids. So it's just what it is. You know what's funny? Imagine being that general, that having that, that's the thing you're known for,

is like building this wall that like... Well, he was the Minister of Defense in France, right? Yeah, was it? Andre, imagine. Imagine being that kid, he was the Minister of Defense in France, right? Yeah. Andre, imagine that. Imagine being that kid, and that's your like crowning life achievement, and everyone's praising it at the time, and then it's like, it just doesn't work.

It's like it doesn't... Someone just goes around it. Well, in World War... That's what happened. I mean, what a waste of fucking tax dollars that was. As they built it, it was like, Belgium was like, we got your back on this side, and then the war started,

and they're like, we're kind of afraid of Hitler, so we're going to get destroyed. And they started building more of it along that part, but they didn't do it along the Ardennes Forest because it was considered to be too dense for tanks to get through, but then Germany was like, no, we can get through there. See, the German

tribes, this is what we should have done. The Greeks should have done this. They should have predicted what was going to happen, because this is a real dark time in history. And what the Greeks should have done the greeks should have done this they should have predicted what was going to happen because it's a real dark time in history and what the greeks should have done is when they were about to crumble right when like the romans were coming to take them the greeks should have just burned all of their knowledge and wisdom and philosophy so it didn't get in the hands of your ancestors yeah because you guys just stole everything yeah the greeks were like the original hip-hop black kids from the Bronx who created civilization and you're just Eminem.

You're a culture vulture. We came in and we took it. You kind of made it better. I'll be honest with you. Eminem's the best. German cars are the best. We made it better. Nobody's driving a Greek car. Then we had a dip in our career and now we're back because of Chris D'Elia. You're kind of like me.

You had a dip in your career and now you're back because of History D'Elia. Yeah, you're kind of like me. You had a dip in your career, and now you're back because of History Hyena's podcast. It's what it is. It's okay. So also, you know, there was Blitzkrieg, and then there was a part of the war. So first of all, this was all happening in May to June of 1940, right? And then there was a stalemate for a little bit because nobody wanted to make a move. Britain was getting their troops kind of ready. France was getting their troops ready.

And for eight months, the British called it the phony war where nobody really moved. They kind of dug in like World War I. They started digging into the trenches again, and nobody's making any moves. Now, in those eight months, it was called the Sitzkrieg. The Germans called it the Sitzkrieg. So it's not Blitzkrieg. It's like just sitting. You're just sitting and waiting.

So for those eight months, what Germany did, number one, here's what Germany knew. They knew that two things would fuck with your warfare. If you didn't work and drill on the new machinery, that was going to hurt. And also if you let toots into your camp,

that was going to hurt. So Germany said, Hitler and Germany said, no toots, and we're going to work on our, we're going to drill, and we we're gonna work in the machinery where france and britain because they're lovers not fighters for the most part yeah they didn't work on any in the eight months they just sat around ate cheese drank wine banged out toots yeah and then and then didn't work on the machine so by the time may of 1940 comes and the invasion of dunkirk and well the by the a little bit before by the time they start to invade northern France, so like a month before, instead of France knowing how to use their manuals

and knowing how to use their tanks and their weapons and the British doing the same, the British Expeditionary Force doing the same thing, which is like Britain's elite fighting force, instead of learning all the manuals and learning all the new weapons, instead what happens? Germany starts to invade a country and all of them have gonorrhea, herpes, or syphilis. Yeah. The STD, no, it's a true fact.

Yeah. It was rampant. So these guys were trying to fight with active chlamydia, and I know how that feels, and it's not cute. Yeah, you got a little bit of a drip going on. It just gets a little wet. Yeah. And all the German soldiers were freaking high on crank.

Yeah. I mean, these kids were on- Are we going to talk about Pervitin now, or are we going to delay it? Okay, so let's talk soldiers were freaking high on crank. Yeah. I mean, these kids were on— Are we going to talk about Pervitin now, or are we going to delay it? Okay, so let's talk about—okay, real quick. Yeah, that's the big part of Blitzkrieg that I wasn't sure if we were going to just fucking delay, but it's just cute, and what it is, it's called Pervitin. So nobody— It was kind of the Molly of its day.

It was the Molly of its day. It's like the Molly of warfare. Like, yeah, it's like if you want to go see the 1975 and just vibe out, just take a little Pervitin and just push some people in the shower. Yeah, it's just what it is. Yeah, so. You want to fucking, you want to kill a whole bunch of people, local populations, but you want to feel real groovy about it?

A little Pervitin really fucking makes you real sensitive to the touch. A little Pervitin. You want to put on Hugo Boss uniforms and your fry boots and then just blame the end of civilization on people that really don't deserve it? A little Pervitin. A little Pervitin will do that. It just fucking, it makes world domination fucking key.

Yeah, you want to make your mustache only the length of your nostrils? A little Pervitin. You know what? It's funny that I didn't even really know this until recently. Like, they never teach you that in school. They never teach you the reality that

during every war, these soldiers had to be on something. In order to get people to walk straight into certain death, you got to be high. Well, but that's the interest. So nobody could understand. Of course, Germany. Germany, like when they came like bat out of hell that term, like that's what Germany was in World War II. Like nobody took them seriously because they got destroyed in World War I.

So people are like, who gives a fuck about Germany? Like nobody cares about that. You got choked up when a fuck about Germany? Like, nobody cares about that. You got choked up when you talked about Germany getting destroyed. You choked. Did you catch that? It got a little emotional. Yeah. That loss.

Can we tackle that? That loss stays with you like the Yankees losing to the Astros for me. Yeah. Can you tackle that? Your voice just cracked when you talked about it. Yeah. The Germans lost World War I. It wasn't fair.

Treaty of Versailles wasn't fair. We didn't start the war. Yeah. Yeah. But it's just, yeah, it's just what happens. This is why fucking World War II, we had to do what we had to do, because you guys are fucking FFs. Yeah.

Way song she ain't. Rest in peace, Uncle Victor. Yeah, rest in peace, Uncle Victor. Shout out Smithtown Water. Shout out Smithtown Water Department, even though you beat the shit out of my whole family, you're a good guy. That's no gas. That's Purr-Vitin.

Okay, so Purr-Vitin. He was a genius. He had a couple of patents. Yeah, he had a couple of patents. Yeah, he had a couple of patents. Yeah, but yeah, sometimes, yeah, it's just, you know, when you're- But the kid liked the sauce, too. Yeah, he liked the sauce, and sometimes it's hard to do business when your life's just a fiesta.

So what Pervitin- So nobody could understand how the German army, the biggest part of Blitzkrieg, you can't have Blitzkrieg without Pervitin. And what Pervitin was was a drug that the nazis scientists created and it's pretty much crystal meth it's the same exact it's exactly where crystal meth came from is pervitin so they made it in 1938 they marketed it as a magic pill for the alertness and an antidepressant and all that shit and the soldiers started to use it so and especially specifically to the wehrmacht troops. So the Wehrmacht was like, you know, the Wehrmacht was the ground soldiers. The Luftwaffe was the Air Force.

That's how it worked. And the SS were the guards of the, they were the bad, bad. Yeah, you didn't want to see those kids after the occupation. You did not want to see the SS guys. They were basically the guys who enforced occupation. Well, because the truth is this, just real quick. If you were Wehrmacht or Luftwaffe you didn't necessarily hate the Jews you just had a gun

pointed at your head and you had to fight for the German army but if you were SS you absolutely hated the Jews and you volunteered to work at those Holocaust camps so really

if anybody in your family was an SS then you're a piece of shit but if you were Wehrmacht or Luftwaffe you could just have been a German citizen that was forced to do this

yeah and there's two guys that would never have joined the SS and that's Marx Marx is German because they would have two guys that would never have joined the SS and that's Max Stubens. Because we would have gotten out there to go to find some black guys in Nigeria. Yeah, and that's the thing with Max Stubens is, yes, it is true that there were no toots

around in the German camp. We were Max and Stubens and we were sucking black eyes. That's right. When the United States came onto the shores of France, we welcomed them with open arms, put our guns down and said, where's the black guys? Yeah, finally, there's the black guys crossing the English Channel. Yeah, where is the black unit?

Where's the Massachusetts 54s? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mike, do you have to say? Yeah. Oh, well. Okay.

Let me finish about Pervitin. Okay, let's just get back to what we were saying, Mike. Oh, Mike. Is Mike going to come? No, Mike wants us to get back to the fucking. Oh, yeah, Pervitin. I got something to say about Pervitin. Okay, let's just get back to what we were saying, Mike. Oh, Mike. Is Mike saying something? No, Mike wants us to get back to the fucking... Oh, yeah, Pervitin. I got something to say about Pervitin. Go ahead.

Just do it. So Pervitin, it was the magic pill, and none of the European nations who the German forces, who the Nazis were invading, they couldn't understand how this fucking army kept moving like this, but it was Pervitin. Every soldier took it, and what its main effects were is not only was it a stimulant hyper alertness but it also decreased sensitivity to any type of the any of the horrors of war they were desensitized to it so a lot of german soldiers after world war ii that were all pervading out they didn't even they were almost like in a blackout where they couldn't believe what they did there was a humongous a very high suicide rate in like 1945 to 1950 when these

soldiers were going back to Germany. Not only, I mean, one, obviously they were hated by the other European nations because they were all branded as Nazis. And two, the side effects of Pervitin are brutal. So much like it's the same, how crystal meth, even in the gay community now, crystal meth, a lot of gay men will take crystal meth and then bug chase, which is they have sex with – they bang guys in the ass who knowingly have HIV because they're hyper alert, but their fear of things is low. So they wind up getting HIV and doing all this stuff, and it's called bug chasing. So Germans were the original bug chasers. Yeah, they were the original bug chasers. It's also worth highlighting that World War II was really the first war that was fought with high-level artillery. Now, World War I, we saw chemical warfare hit the scene.

That became one of the preferred methods of the late Saddam Hussein. I don't know why I said that. Can we just tackle that? Yeah. I don't know where the word came from. Now Zach choked up. Yeah, I don't know why. That was just like I don't know why I said the second word.

We're used to saying late grace. We're used to it. The late Saddam Hussein, that was his preferred method. So that was really a highlight of World War I was the chemical warfare. World War II is like, that's when weaponry got to the point where it was like, you were just throwing bombs at each other. And World Wari was the first war where it was like planes just dropping bombs obviously that's well at the it ended with the atomic bomb but it was just artillery so yeah

guys in the ground were just fucking shooting at each other yes that's that's where we were everyone was so behind germany because they had panzer divisions that were going so fast that yeah and that's also why they were able to the german panzer is really responsible for a lot Everyone was still behind Germany because they had Panzer divisions that were going so fast that, yeah. And that's also why they were able to. The German Panzer is really responsible for a lot of their success, right? Exactly. Big, big part of it. And that's why Pervitin was called Panzer Chocolat because it was tank chocolate.

Yeah. Did you just go pewing when you said that? Yeah, a little bit. Did I hit that German accent a little too hard? No, but yeah, you did. And listen, I'll be really honest with you right now. I don't know what just happened. Yeah.

But like that. You got uncomfortable? That made me uncomfortable. Like you looked at me and saying that with your look and that fucking jacket. I don't know where you got. You got that from some fucking. I got this from the set of American History X. Yeah. I mean, that jacket is like.

That's no gas. That's like a death metal British fucking band jacket. But then there's that. Yeah, then he's got a little rainbow flag. Cute little rainbow flag, yeah. Yeah, but when you said that. So Panzer Chocolat. Yeah.

Panzer Chocolat. Can you stop saying that? Sorry. Yeah, stop saying that and look at my face. Me and Benetia just got scared. Yeah. I got hungry. Yeah.

Yeah, it was tank chocolate. So just real quick, that Panzer Chocolat means tank chocolate. So they would just. Like that. Panzer chocolate with your Ridgewood accent. Yeah. Don't try to do that. Tank chocolate. So they actually sell Panzer Chocolat means tank chocolate. Tank shit like that. Panzer chocolate with your Ridgewood accent. Yeah. Don't try to do that. Tank chocolate.

So they actually sell Panzer Chocolat at Rudy's. So they- Rudy's get a lot of promo. Yeah, Rudy's gets a lot of promo. Fucking good Lizzie's. Yeah, good. Yeah, yeah. So-

Can we get a cackle there, please? That's no gas. Sorry. Yeah, yeah. It was a long time ago. Can we get a cackle? Can we get a cackle for that? That wasackle. Can we get a cackle? Can we get a cackle for that? That was interesting about how Britton also...

Who didn't you crack? That's what Benatia said before. You're going to get punched through. Yeah, I mean, who haven't you cracked? This is a character piece for a 20. It's a character piece. Yeah, it's a character piece. Patrick Mulrooney's character piece.

It's a guy... A lot of 14s. It's a character piece about a guy who grew up, you know, on the other side of the tracks. Then he started doing comedy. He started dabbing in the arts. And the kid, the girl's like the kid, so the kid fucking ends up, he gets a little drip. He got a drip.

This is Patrick Mulroney. I just got one thing to say, only that climate change is fucking from the Chinese. It's not real. It's from the Chinese. It's a character piece. If you think for one second that anybody in my fucking family is going to be voting for fucking Bernie, then that fucking person's not invited to Thanksgiving. Yeah, it's not invited to Thanksgiving.

Yeah. All right, go ahead. And you're also not getting into fucking heaven, it's not invited to Thanksgiving And yeah, alright, go ahead And you're also not getting into fucking heaven Because that kid's a fucking communist from Russia I mean, you're telling me that fucking You're telling me that Bernie Sanders ain't fucking working for the Russians They keep telling me Donald Trump's working for fucking Russia Donald Trump's been making money in this city for years Yeah, Bernie Sanders is a fucking Jew guy working for the Russians

Yeah, first of all, he's from Vermont That's where fucking all the Russians is from Yeah, that's fucking stick some Hershey's syrup in your ass Because it's cold up there So when the Russians fucking Yeah, first of all, he's from Vermont. That's where fucking all the Russians is from. Yeah, and it's fucking stick some Hershey syrup in your ass. Because it's cold up there just so when the Russians fucking come here, the spies,

they go to fucking Vermont because it reminds them of the fucking climate that they're from. Yeah, and just real quick, so anybody who's invited to Patrick Maroney's house for Thanksgiving,

we're serving out tank chocolate. It's what, yeah. A lot of 14. Yeah, it's a character piece. Okay, Mike, you have something to say. Yeah.

Okay, well. Put on your ponchos. So May 10, 1940, that's when Belgium basically was getting invaded from the north. Belgium. When Germany started making their big push to start the war on the west. Big push. Huge. They're done with Poland.

Yeah. Netherlands, all that shit. Yeah. So everyone goes north. They go to North Belgium to fight. Meanwhile, a second division, like two panzers, a motor corps, and some planes, they go to the Ardennes

and go up to the ocean and basically cut off the army. So there's a split. Half of them are up in Belgium, the other half is in France. And that's what causes this whole situation. Smart, smart tactics. How much was it?

Was it 400,000 British and French troops? Is that the number? Yeah. 400,000 British and French troops fucking cornholed, as your late great Mr. Pappas would say. Yeah. Basically cornholed in Dunkirk. Yeah.

Also people from the Indian armies and the French Africans were also there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Indian armies and the French Africans were also there. Yeah. This is sort of the beginning of the end for Neville

Chamberlain. I mean, this is where they're going, hey, guy, you're appeasing this kid and Churchill's right about everything. We're going to replace you with Churchill and that could have really saved the world from the world becoming the show. What is it called?

Oh, Man in the High Castle? You cannot underestimate the role that Churchill played in keeping the Nazis at bay until the boys fucking showed up. Truth. The whole time he was saying don't trust Hitler.

You're a warmonger. You're just trying to get us in the war. Neville Chamberlain, he was kind of an FF. He just would let anybody in Don't trust Hitler. Don't trust Hitler. You're a warmonger. You're just trying to get us in the war. Yeah. And Neville Chamberlain, yeah, he just basically, he was kind of an FF. He just would let anybody in. He kind of didn't care. But I really believe that even though it's like there's no way to prove it, Neville Chamberlain and the British elite, the monarchy of England,

they all were in bed with the Germans. Some of them came from German families themselves. So it all had to do that where Winston Churchill was a fucking British kid. yeah winston churchill was he was a fucking he was just a talking he was a talking fucking piece of cod he he was such a weird looking kid he looked like a south park character that came to life and grew up yeah he looks like cartman as an adult animated in the flesh yeah i mean he's a weird strange yeah he looked like he was he looked like he was going to drop any minute and he lived to like 90 years old Yeah he looks like the uncle from the Adams family

What was that kid's name? Uncle Fester Yeah he looks like Uncle Fester And he just always had a cigar in his mouth and a top hat and he always had a limp The kid's leg was always broken He had a fucking cigar length named after him Because the kid liked to smoke long ones Yeah So he completely went

I think the first day that he took over, Germany started invading Belgium, right? Right, and on the 25th of May, that's when he ordered the withdrawal to the coast – I mean, the order to evacuate. They were still trying to get them to negotiate with Hitler, and he had to tell them, like, you can't trust this guy. When you say they, you're saying France. No, the English government. Oh, wow. Halifax, one of the main guys, Like, no, let's negotiate with them. That way we can keep, we'll negotiate, we'll keep our shit, and we'll kind of fuck everyone

else over, and we'll make him happy. Like, no, he's going to disinvite us later. He's an asshole. And Winston Churchill, I know, made, Britain made a decision they didn't even tell France. Britain just started leaving. Britain has just started evacuating towards the channel, where they didn't even alert France. They were like, well, you can do whatever the fuck you want now, guy.

We're leaving. But some French also were evacuated too. In the end, they followed the British. Once Churchill started Operation Dynamo, he was like, we're going to get all these boats. We're going to get them out. So Operation Dynamo, just real quick, was not Operation Dynamo was even more than British warships.

It was anybody in England who had a boat come across the channel, risk your life to save our soldiers. That's Operation Dynamo. Dynamo, sorry. Domino is what you play in the alley. Yeah, Operation Domino is where my dad gambled his family savings. He had a little money on St. Joe's.

Yeah, sorry. There was over 400,000 troops. They thought, maybe we'll save 45,000. They had really low expectations for this. They were like, we're going to lose 90% of our army. It's just SLO chaos. Right, because the German bombers had destroyed all the docks. So that's why they used these civilian ships.

They had to have these smaller ships come in, pick up people, take them to the big ships. But just real quick, just let me also, too, during this time of late May into early June when Dunkirk was being evacuated, there was something that I read, too, that said Hitler could have actually they could have decimated the entire army. They could have dropped bombs on everybody. But he Hitler delayed the initial bombing, like carpet bombing of the soldiers on the beach because he wanted to give Britain a chance to negotiate even more. Well, that's where they were talking about negotiating in general, because he was trying to get stuff out of it. Not like, if I can kill your guys, you're not going to negotiate shit with me. Right. If I do this war of attrition, maybe you'll give us shit later.

And we could take your army, yeah, and you fight for us. The other thing is, the ground troops stopped because the Panzers were so fast, and they were like, we're like 20 miles out. Let's go in. And they're like, no, you've got to wait for the rest of the army. We'll all attack at once. Yeah, he wanted Britain to just continue to appease. He was like,

for now, he wanted an ally, not an ally, but a detente. Yeah. Going like, hey man, we're just gonna take France

and we're cool, let's negotiate. You know, like, and even modern warfare now, how it's fought now, how like, soldiers like,

jump out of the tanks and are like, right behind the tank's wheels. That's how like, when they, even the US will do that now. That was only started by, that was like,

innovative. They, nobody would even come close to a tank. It's the tanks going and the soldiers are behind. But the Germans were just hanging off the tanks like it's a fucking garbage truck because they were on Pervitin. They were on Panzer Chocolat. They were kind of like the modern day Spartans. Yeah.

Propelled from World War I. It became a war machine much like Sparta. Sparta was like a war machine. Yeah, they moved in the, what was it? Like their whole society was a war machine. It was like Hitler Youth, and then from the Hitler Youth, you get into the army, and then you

section off into either SS, Luftwaffe, whatever. I mean, that was, the government... SS or FF. Yeah, I mean, the government became like, you know... We're a country that, our business is war. Our business is war, and the government was subsidizing a lot of these companies towards a war machine. How Thailand's business is ladyboys, their business is war. Our business is war, and the government was subsidizing a lot of these companies towards a war machine.

How Thailand's business is ladyboys, their business is war. Absolutely. It's what it is. You know, the French and the Brits have had a rivalry going back all the way to the Battle of Hastings, right? We'll do that in another episode of Battle of Hastings. But they always hate each other. They still do. They have this sort of rivalry, like, you know, kind of Boston, New York thing, but much worse.

Yeah. It's a cultural, you know, the French are cultural snobs. They look at the Brits like, ugh, they look down on them. So it's probably funny that there was a lot of French kids that had the opportunity to evacuate to England across the Channel, and they were probably like, I'd rather die here than fuck it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's part of it. Yeah.

And admit defeat. Slugs. Probably called them slugs across the channel. Probably. So past all the U-boats and the bombers that were blowing shit up, they ended up rescuing 338,226 soldiers total. That's a lot. 120,000 of them were French and other.

And a lot of kids died. How many kids died in this whole thing? Quite a lot. I don't have that number. Back then, it was just like 600,000 kids would be dead. Yeah. You know? And also, a U-boat showed up on the coast of Long Island at some point.

Yeah. So there was a bunch of kids going, look over there. Is that a fucking German U-boat? Is that a U-boat? Yeah, these guys were going in and fucking, they were trying to just open up their bagel stores, and they saw a German U-boat. Yeah, I mean, I'm good to have a bagel, but over there, I think there's a German U-boat. Right.

So they lost 68,000 soldiers. Yeah, a lot of them. The BDF alone. The British Expeditionary Force, which is like their Marines. Yeah. So. Yeah. And thousands of French troops were left behind to be taken prisoners.

So the thing is, the British got most of their out, but they left everybody else, which is, I understand you have to do that. Well, part of it also was that someone had to stay and defend, because they were still fighting. They weren't just like, the Germans were not doing shit. There were still people fighting to keep them from coming to the beaches. So a lot of those people that did surrender at the end were because they were fighting them off while everyone else escaped. Yeah, and some of these boats didn't make it either.

I mean, these boats were being bombed. Basically, even though it was a civilian boat, because you were crossing into a war zone, you know, Germany was like, listen, if you cross this line, we're going to blow you up with our torpedoes. And it was like literally just on a fucking dinghy boat. I mean, they maybe had a handgun, you know, they had nothing.

Over 200 of the military ships and a quarter of the civilian ships were sunk. Yeah, that's right. So, I mean, we should do our sponsors now for a second. Let's put a bow on this. Well, no. So, overall, I mean, that's right. So, I mean, we should do our sponsors now for a second. Well, let's put a bow on this. Huh? Let's put a bow on this. Well, no.

So, and overall, I mean, it's Dunkirk without literally, if, I think two things. If Neville Chamberlain never gives power, never just, you know, gets ousted out and Winston Churchill becomes the prime minister, I think eventually Britain probably is going to secede to Germany. Germany is going to get Britain on that. And then they're probably going to come and invade the United States. That movie, Man in the High Castle, if Neville Chamberlain stayed as the prime minister, that probably would have been our reality. There would have been concentration camps in Cincinnati. Yeah.

I'm dead serious. No, for sure. That's probably what would have happened. And the Germans wouldn't have sustained the losses that they did fighting the British for so long. The British really fought hard, man. Yeah. And they were outgunned, but they just kept fucking fighting, and London kept getting bombed, dude.

Yeah. I mean, Hitler bombed the shit out of England. Yeah. And then it's just, yeah. And then, of course, you know. Then, of course, you wake up. You woke up the boys. You woke up Aaron Judge's bat.

That's what happened. That's what happened. The bats got woken up. It's like Germany, you were doing, you know, whatever, you wake up. You woke up the boys. You woke up Aaron Judge's bat. That's what happened. That's what happened. The bats got woken up. It's like Germany, you were doing, you know, whatever you were doing, your thing. But then your fucking biggest mistake was getting Japan involved because the kids are just fucking stupid. Yeah. They tried to come to our back door. Fucking stupid.

They could sink half our army in Pearl Harbor. And it's like, listen, guy. All right, guy. What you did, all you fucking did was You fucking woke up the boys Yeah So now, unfortunately No more bento boxes for you That's what it is

That's no case Yeah, we made you We made the whole country Our lunch special Yeah, that's what That's what happened to you It's just what happened You know, and I

Things are good now I mean, the kid I want to go to Tokyo bad Yeah And I know Mike wants to go to Tokyo bad Because, I mean, he'll just Fucking come on the anime there But I just

Yeah, Mike will crack open an anime editor. Yeah. When this podcast gets big and Mike gets a real dough in his pocket, there's no way that that kid is not going to move to Tokyo. Yeah, I think Mike's first, yeah, Mike. Are you big into anime? I'm not big into anime. What's your thing? What are you into?

Blow up dolls. To you. That's number one, right? I just collect them, though Yeah, you collect them Comedy, that's my thing Yeah, but what's your side Like hobby love?

Oh You're too smart a kid To just become You gotta have My kids are smart Comic books or something It used to be video games But I haven't really played in forever

Right Yeah Are you big into Star Wars And things like that? I like that stuff But I'm not like I'm not gonna go crazy over it Yeah

I used to perform comedy At like comic book anime conventions right stuff there right right right those kids love you see that's mike can attract that fucking demographic for us mike already is doing that yeah yeah get all those kids yeah kids who like smell their fingers and things like that yeah yeah yeah we need that no we need that no you know i'm talking about those kids who like read comic books and smell their fingers the whole time yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. We need those kids. Yeah, absolutely. No, we need those kids. They play. Those things got weird because now they're all like woke kids. Right.

Oh, this is. They do reenactments in the park. Yeah. Word. Yeah. It's just, look, we don't. What do we need? Look.

Yeah. You say that as a joke, but that's what they do. No, those kids reenact war scenes in the park. That's what we need. And then they smell their fingers. Yeah. Word. Yeah.

Yeah, because those kids love podcasts. Yeah, we just their fingers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They just, yeah, because those kids love podcasts. Yeah. We just got it. Yeah. Those are the type of kids that let's

just be honest. Unfortunately, those are the types of kids that after like they were here watching a couple of fans, we invited them down to sit in the cast

and then we left. They would stay and say they'd help out Zach, but they'd be smelling Venetia's seat. Yeah. It's just those are those types of kids.

They would just sniff her seat. Yeah. Just a little bit. It's what it is. It's what it is. Yeah. So yeah. So yeah. To put a bow on that, to put a bow on Dunkirk is-

The boys fucking won the war. The boys fucking won the war. Came and bailed you out. We should get a fucking tax break every time we go to France. Yeah. There should be cheap flights for the descendants of any American who had an ancestor who fought in the service. Yeah.

Yeah. We should get half fucking price flights to fucking Paris or Paris. Yeah, it's just what it is. Are those two cities? French fries and fucking mimes at birthday parties should just be free. Listen, guy, if me and Chrissy come into your fucking country,

we should get two crepes on the house. Yeah, just give me a fucking crepe on the house. That's what it is. Even though I got to stop eating sweets. Yeah, you do. It's just what it is even though i gotta stop eating sweets yeah you do it's just what it is so yeah so ultimately um yeah you know france made a lot of mistakes evacuating germany made some mistakes with dunkirk and then what happened was ultimately england was able to get 338 000 soldiers back fight to continue the fight against germany and

then pearl harbor happened and then the U.S. came in, and then it was just dunzo for Germany. It was on. Yeah, the real significance of it is that, is that Germany, in its effort, Hitler's effort to maybe negotiate and keep Britain out of the war for longer, allowed them to evacuate, when he really could have did some more damage.

And on the flip side, Chamberlain got woken up and he was ready to fight. Yeah, because just real quick, we're going to talk about this too, but this is just something that was interesting to me and I never realized it because when you think about

World War II and the U.S. entering, they entered because of being provoked by Japan. So the United States sent the majority of their troops to fight the full force of the Japanese army. By the time we started

fighting Germany, they were already kind of decimating themselves because they were being beaten by the British. They the Japanese army. By the time we started fighting Germany, they were already kind of decimating themselves because they were being beaten by the British. They had split half their force in Russia, which was just fucking stupid. So really, Germany, we kind of wiped the floor with Germany pretty quickly.

Well, not we. I didn't do anything. If we didn't mention it... I would do nothing if the war was right now. I would have done nothing. I would have just said, I have GERD and I can't go. No, you would have been one of those few German soldiers that went with a toot and got a drip.

Yeah, I would have crossed the Maginot Line just to bang out toots. That's what you would have done. Or you would have been Corporal Christie and you would have made friends with the Germans and the French. Yeah, I just would have been friends with everybody, yeah. And I would have just said, watch my show, Stupid Questions, who the fuck knows when it's even on anymore. And here's the thing.

If we didn't mention it, Dunkirk is a port. I don't even think we mentioned that. It's a port in France. Did we say that? I don't know. I don't think we ever actually thought. And we're going to go do a Patreon video in Dunkirk. We're going to go.

Yeah, well, we're going back to Munich. We're getting booked. I don't think we're making any money, but we're going back, and we're going to hold hands, and we're going to fucking sightsee. We're going to to Munich. We're getting booked. I don't think we're making any money, but we're going back and we're going to hold hands and we're going to fucking sightsee. We're going to bring Venetia. Venetia's going to come, yeah. She's going to fucking bring t-shirts. And 422 because I think she's pregnant.

Yeah, it's what it is. It's not comfortable for you as a German kid to keep referring to this girl you're seeing by a number. That's just not what we want to keep doing. I like her a lot. She's got a name. Just give her a fake name. I don't want to keep calling her a fucking number. Okay, I'm going to give her a fake name right now.

Ava. Ava. Yeah, that's right. There you go. That's not... Oh, yeah, we're getting away from that. Let me give her a fake name. Martha. Martha Washington. Yeah, Martha. She's got a nice fat ass. Let's just call her fake name. There's a lot of people. Martha. Martha Washington. Martha Washington. There's Martha. Martha Washington. Yeah, Martha. She's got a nice fat ass. Let's just call her Ursula.

Ursula. Yeah, Ursula. Yeah, because I'd bang out Ursula. You would. I would bang out. Yeah, even though Ursula has fumes. Okay. Well, listen, guys.

We got two fucking sponsors we're excited about. Yeah, read them quick. Top tier non-toots. James Altucher. This kid. Yeah, what do you got to say about this kid? Oh, James Altucher. First of all, he's got wild hair. He looks like Albert Einstein. James Altucher looks like, yeah, he looks to say about this kid James Altucher first of all he's got wild hair he looks like Albert Einstein

James Altucher looks like yeah he looks like he walks out of his house every day like he just got electrocuted and I fucking like it I like that so James Altucher

who owns Stand Up New York or is a part owner of Stand Up New York he's the first Bitcoin millionaire I mean the kid was a millionaire or billionaire before any of the Bitcoin

but he's really he wrote like a book on how to use Bitcoin successfully. I heard him on Tony Robbins' podcast. Tony Robbins loves and respects him. I love and respect Tony Robbins. So if you're a friend of Tony Robbins, James,

you're a friend to us and you're also giving us $500 a month for your small business support. And I sent you a message on what you like to say and you never responded because you have so much money, it doesn't even matter.

So I'm just going to tell the people to go follow you On Instagram and Twitter And social media At James Altucher I think it may or may not be that And also go to your club Stand Up New York One of the great clubs in New York

One of the great clubs In New York City It's great And you guys have brought it back And you're probably just using that For a tax write off Thank you James Appreciate it

And also And also And also We gotta give a shout out To our boy Shout out to Smithtown Water Smithtown Water Tank Sinatra

Tank's good news guys All you gotta do On Instagram Is go Follow Tank Sinatra Or Tank's good news And you can see How big that kid is

Yeah And that kid Yeah He's still on He's still on The cycle of Winstrel Yeah he's still On the cycle of Winstrel His Yeah, he's still on a cycle of Winstrel. His real name is George, and he's a smart fucking jack kid.

Is his real name George? Yes, his real name's George, and he's just a smart fucking jack kid. And he's got his Instagram. If I saw you and him walking at me. Yeah. Yeah. It'd be a problem. I'm getting nervous.

He's got a very German last name. What's the last name? Reich. His name is George Reich? George Reich. Yeah. Yeah, so he's just a kid,

yeah, and he just looks at me, he looks, for me, he looks, I don't know for sure, we can ask him when I see him

if he comes to my shows at Gotham, which only has tickets left for November 29th, BTW, and I think only the 10 o'clock show, so get him quick,

but he's coming to the show and he just looks like the type of kid that I'm almost positive he wears tighty-whitey underwear. You! He does have a look like he's got it. He just wears jeans and tighty-whities, and it's just what it is, but they're crystal clean. I would sniff them if it gave

me a pair. Yeah, because kids like that that are really ripped like that, they like to wear bikini shorts because it shows off more of their body. Yeah, it shows off more. There's no way that kid's a boxer brace. No, he wears tighty-whities. And it's just what it is, and yeah, if he eats too much protein, they will have shit stains. They will. shows off more. There's no way that kid's a boxer brace. No, he wears tighty-whities. Yeah, yeah. And it's just what it is. And yeah, if he eats too much protein, they will have shit stains. They will.

So go check out Tank's Good News, Tank Sinatra. He also has a podcast. Go check that out. Yeah, I mean, everybody can just do whatever they want. I mean, the kid's, you know, he had an Instagram account. Now he's just a stand-up. I mean, it just doesn't matter at all. The kid's running for office.

He's going to run for office to Smithtown. I mean, the kid's just doing it all. Yeah, go find him on fucking... Yeah, vote for him for Sheriff of Long Island. Yeah, whatever. Legion is... It's on Gas Digital, which is, you know,

everything's behind the paywall. It's a good business model. Go slapbox with Lewis. It doesn't fucking matter. Yeah. You know, what do you want me to tell you? I mean, you know,

Jay Oakerson wears fingerless gloves. It's what it is. I mean, if you give Gas Digital enough money, you might be able to slapbox Lewis. Yeah, it doesn't matter.

And then Joe Rogan will comment on it and now Jeremiah Walken sells out. So it it doesn't matter. And Joe Rogan will comment on it. Now Jeremiah Walken sells out. So it just doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter. The world, who gives a fuck? It truly doesn't matter anymore. Yeah. You can do anything you want. Yeah, we're doing this podcast live from Dunkirk. Who gives a fuck? Who gives a fuck? Yeah. I mean,

I'm a Puerto Rican kid from fucking Bangladesh. Who cares? It's just what it is. It doesn't matter. Yeah. So go ahead. Just read out the fucking sponsors. Again, nobody gives a shit. Just read them out quick. We care. Oh, yeah, sorry.

We do care. Yeah, yeah. Benetia just wants you to care. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, 9th Street Auto. You can't change it, but he just doesn't care. Yeah, whatever. He keeps trying to get rid of every one of these sponsors.

Yeah, fucking CBD scripts, whatever you want to fucking go to. The website, CBD scripts. You know, if you need a fucking release from reality because you can't take Your dumb fucking life Then go have CBD 9th Street 9th Street auto collision Which is on Long Island So it's fucking stupid You know

Go to 9th Street Get your car cracked open And cleaned out Benatia doesn't like any of this Yeah Dr. Harvey Spencer Oswald I want to go there now Yeah you do Dr. Harvey Spencer Jr.

From South Rock Rock Hill South Carolina Go get your teeth Cracked open and cleaned out I mean go to the fucking dentist Yeah You know if you want to go to If you live in the South Carolina area Go I mean if you want to drive From Maine to South Carolina. Go get your teeth cracked open and cleaned out. I mean, go to the fucking dentist. Yeah. You know, if you want to go to, if you live in the South Carolina area, go.

I mean, if you want to drive from Maine to South Carolina and do this, you can do it. Fucking post a video on Patreon. You're Franks and Beans and you know it. You know it. Nutrition Made Fun. You know, he's doing LSD in the woods. He wrote it on Patreon.

So you could go to his website, nutritionmadefun.com, and he'll fucking tailor some fucking diet workout for you bullshit. It doesn't matter. If you don't know, you know, go on Keto. Who cares? I mean, I like looking at Nutrition MadeadeFun.com, and he'll fucking tailor some fucking diet workout for you. Bullshit. It doesn't matter. If you don't know, you know, go on keto. Who cares? I mean, I like looking at Nutrition Made Fun's Instagram because he always makes me want to eat a salad.

But then I get depressed that I'm not eating a salad, so I just order more tortellini. So go to Nutrition Made Fun on Instagram. Then we got the other kid, Dr. Sandra Hussein Azizi, whatever the fuck his name is. He's a GI doctor who also does stand-up. I thought he said he's a jihad doctor. He's a jihad doctor. He does his GI shit. So what is said he's a jihad doctor. He's a jihad doctor. He does his GI shit. So what is he on Instagram?

Sandra Azizi. Yeah, you go to Dr. Solz. Dr. Solz on Instagram. He's an ass doctor. He's an ass doctor. But he also, Sandra Azizi, but he also does fucking, he also does comedy too. Yeah. So if you trust that, do whatever the fuck you want.

I mean, what do you- It doesn't matter. What's the last one? Who's the one who's- Lakeside Maple. Lakeside Maple, who's good. His granola's fucking good. Chris puts it in his ass. People put it in their ass. Put it in your yogurt. He came to the show with's lakeside maple lakeside maple who's good is granola's fucking good chris puts it in his ass people put in their ass put in your yogurt he came to show

with a lakeside maple t-shirt theo von has a lakeside maple t-shirt i mean he's got a fucking nice business yeah you know it's granola it's good it doesn't matter it's trail mix it's trail mix it's the same shit it doesn't fucking matter it doesn't matter and just go go to his website go support him on instagram i mean really you know like really guys it's just like we're reading your shit out you know we're getting more, guys, it's just like we're reading your shit out. You know, we're getting more followers. But I think you just, yeah, if I can go online, get these people's shit, Lakeside Maple, and, you know, they're giving us whatever they're giving us, $100 a month. I mean, it's nice enough, but it's like, you know, eventually we just have to cut it all off.

Yeah, yeah. Let's read some names. Yeah, Venetia did not like that, Chris. Sorry. Let's just get to the page. She specifically told you before not to do what you just did, let's read some names. Yeah, Venetia did not like that, Chris. Sorry. Let's just get to the page. She specifically told you before not to do what you just did, and you just did it. Well, she said it was boring, so I'm just trying to spice it up. Yeah, I think it went the other way.

All right, well, let's see what the fans think. I thought it was awesome. Mike thought it was good. We'll see what happens. But I would, I mean, yeah. Okay, so are these the Patreon names? But I would listen to the whole thing. Yes, these are the Patreon names.

Wait, so what's this? Those are the page. I have a copy. Oh, so it's only these two pages? Oh, he to the whole thing. Yes, these are the Patreon names. Wait, so what's this? Those are the Patreon names. I have a copy. Oh, so it's only these two pages? Oh, he has the third page. Oh, can I have the third page for the Patreon name? Sure. Here, just use these three.

Okay. I don't have it. Okay, here we go. Okay. Here we go. All right. Okay. So as always, we read out the newest members of our Patreon, patreon.com slash Bay Ridge

Boys. These guys have joined the matriarchy. Cackle. I almost said cackle, cackle, like crackle, crackle on the bonfire. So it's cackle, cackle. It doesn't matter. Let's just steal that from you, too. We are the bonfire. I'm Dan Soder.

Yeah, it doesn't matter. Yeah, I mean, everybody says wild now. Chris DiStefano's crowd work special is coming out tomorrow. Yeah, it's coming out tomorrow. Check out my special on HBO. Yeah, I'll be opening for Mike tomorrow on Poughkeepsie. Why not? Why not?

Yeah. So these people went to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. You guys should too. We encourage you guys to make a funny name. And if you don't want to make a funny name, we just say you're going straight to the back. And that's fine too. You just say it for the content. Okay, start it off.

Craig Black. Yanni, guess my ethnicity and I'll become a $10 non-tube. That's one we read wrong on a previous one. Yeah. And she said she will up it if we... If we can guess. What's the name again? Craig Black.

Craig Black. I'm going to guess that they are... I'm going to go Wasp. I'm going to go Wasp. I'm going to go... White kid. Yeah. Wasp.

White, Anglo-Saxon, Protestant. Okay, good. That's our guess. Liam McCabe. Here for the content. Straight to the back. Yeah, it's an Irish kid. Johnny G. Hat dipped down straight to the back. Hat dipped down straight to the back? That kid's our guest. Yeah. Liam McCabe, here for the content, straight to the back. Yeah, it's an Irish kid. Johnny G, hat dipped down, straight to the back.

Hat dipped down, straight to the back. That kid's a DJ. Yeah. Joe Morrow. Joe Morrow. Kevin Flood Breisman. Straight to the content. Yep.

MJ Funkhauser. MJ Funkhauser. We got a couple DJs. Will, if the Eagles lose again, I'm going to boil my nuts out. It's a Philly kid. Philly kid. Philly kids are funny. Yeah.

Weston registered flex offender Johnson. Yeah. Yeah, he's a jack kid. Yeah. You've got to give him a nomination. Lect one. L-E-C-T one. Okay.

Tuck back steel pie. Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa Pedro. I mean, he's the front runner. Front runner. Front runner. Cool cam XXX at XXXXX.com. That one, their name was blank. Okay.

So I just put the first part of their email. Sure. Just make your names clear in the future. But it didn't have a name. It was weird. No, I'm not saying you. I'm saying them. Like, come on.

Just fucking make it clear. I mean, you know. Alex Stern. I'm here for the content. John. Here for the content Steve hit him At the microwave 2020 It's our second

Microwave one by the way Yeah I like that That's a callback To Pearl Harbor episode Which was basically The Pearl Harbor Of our episodes

Yeah it's just what it is We snuck a pack And it's got everybody Interested in us Everybody started Paying attention To our fucking Imperial empire

When I said that The Japanese and Chinese look the same. Yeah, and you also said your whole country goes into microwave. It's what it is, but it got Bill Burr listening and Eslocaeus. Eslocaeus said, you know, technically you're not wrong. They did attack the boys first, so you got what's coming to you. You got what's coming to you, yeah.

It's just what it is. Yeah. Okay. Rachie cutie with a non-toot booty. Good one. Good one, like it. Houston Williams. I hate for the content. Brittany. Could be, okay.

Who knows who that is? Yeah, could be. Mikey, crack me open and clean me out like the sauce monkey I am. Magilio. Yeah. I mean, the Italians just winning this. They're funny. They have like an unfair advantage.

Yeah. Emil Freehow. Here for the content. Here for the content. Spanos. Spanos Alex Unkirky Beef Jerky Looking to clean out Venetia's herpy torso

Venetia got shocked She doesn't have herpes That kid tried to do a triple bat flick And I think I'd give him an 8.7 Here we go Noel Abdallah Got the muzzies coming out. Thank you.

Purple-headed yogurt slinging hot dog gun busting open abstract painters. The reality is a suggestion for this kid. I mean, that kid's going for it, but, you know, it's like he was doing a dartboard and it hit an adjacent wall. It's what it is. Yeah. Rob, Rob, 10 Our Fathers, 10 Hail Marys, S-L-O-K-S Hernandez. Another goodie. I think that was Mike's favorite.

Then we got Girth Brooks. That's a goodie. Don't underestimate that. That's a goodie. Girth Brooks. Then we got Dougie Dykher with an average piece. Another goodie. Yeah. Then we got Landon Zirkelback. Oh, shit, that's a German kid. Yeah, that's a German. Then we got MF Fernandez.

Then we got Tommy Two Balls Tucked Way Back Headland. Good one. Good one. Clyde Drexler. Then we got Jacqueline Silverman. Here for the content, and she screwed in. Yep. Vili Ralkalari. Vili Ralkalari. I mean, you're just giving him an

Indian accent. You don't know if that's Indian. He's like, I got a granddaddy. Yeah. Thank you. Jesus Christ. And Della Jallo. Here for the content. Nathan Westerfield.

Oh, that's a white kid. Brandon would let Chris tongue punch my fart box, but dad's still alive, Thompson. You're going to get punched through. I think we move him to the top. Yeah. Let Chris tongue punch my fart box, but dad's still alive. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Fart box is funny. Yeah. I think that might be the top. The other kid was good, too. We got to read him back at the end. Okay. Yeah.

Carlos, the baby, stab me on Rikers. S-L-O-K-S, Alvarez. Yeah. I like it, too. But he's a Clyde Drexler. Yeah. Clyde Drexler. Caleb J. Cochran. Here for the contact. Patrick Pister. Here, I like it too. But he's a Clyde Drexler. Yeah, Clyde Drexler. Caleb J. Cochran.

Here for the content. Patrick Pister. Here for the content. Jack. Jack is a black kid. Yeah. Nick Labossi. How you doing, Nick Labossi? I got a van. Jesse Crabble. Hey, Jesse. You're a fucking wasp. One toot a dog in Clarendon D. He went for it, but he

hit an adjacent wall. I like it. Yeah. Rekhanna Connell. Here for the content. Valent hit an adjacent wall. I like it. Yeah. Rekhaan O'Connell. Here for the content. Valentino Ruiz. Here for the content. John Cook. Hey, John Cook. Emily got a situation with the father, but make no mistake, he's gonna, and then it got cut off. Yeah, sorry about that. The name's too long, but we appreciate it. He's gonna

whatever. Yeah. Thank you for your service. Yeah. It's Emily got a situation with the father, but make no mistake, he's going to find out Chris is cracking me up Snapchat, CDTV John the half-Nickerwagon sauce monkey A.K.A. Anne Franks and Beans Yeah, put him up there in a nomination

Oh God, they're coming with heat David Solano I'm here for the content Stephen Koss. I'm here for the content. Adam China's number one, Barna. He just took a swing and he got a single. Sean Sandoval.

Here for the content, and he's definitely a fiesta. Yeah. Chrissy Massapequa's in my mouth while Yanni puts it in my rear part. Yeah, that's real creative. Massapequa's in my mouth while Yanni puts it in my rear part. Yeah, that's real creative. Yeah, he's a creator. That's what he was in my mouth. Yeah, yeah. Well, Giannis puts it in my real park.

Yeah, we're going to give him a nomination. Mikey, I'm such an FF that I've beaten AIDS twice, Curtis. Clyde Drexler, though. Clyde Drexler, it was great, but he's just born in the wrong era. Jack Bush. Here for the contest. The gentleman of Northeast Philly, Pat Craig. Pat Craig.

These Philly kids are funny. Kyle. Kirk Gregory. Black kid. Steven Swigum. All for the content. Mauricio Ramos. And then last but not least, Amber, when I get all steamed up, hear me shout, Chrissy

D. tip me over and clean me up. It's a goodie. Clyde Drexler, though. Oh, here we go. No, we got a few more. Andrew Maddy. Hitler drank Smithtown water. It's a goodie, but it's Clyde Drexler, though. Oh, here we go. No, we got a few more. Andrew Maddy. Hitler drank Smithtown water. It's a goodie, but Clyde Drexler.

Yeah, that needs that. Corey fell for the finger popping of a half-Morocco. Now I got a situation. Ah, that's a Clyde. Yeah. He threw a dart and it ended up on an adjacent wall. Yeah. But he went for it.

This is all one word. Threw Hay-Burton peanut butter, then rolled him in batteries like breadcrumbs. F-K-A Nicodemus Pompadour. Pretty good, but the kid's born in the wrong era. But, you know, you got to give him an A for effort. Then we got Sid. And then last but not least, we got Ryan from Boston, no-fume potato monkey getting fizzy like Frank Rizzi.

Yeah, you got to nominate that kid, too. For me, PPW is either Massapequa in my mouth, Rhea Park, or the other one was. Let's hear them. Go quick. We got Ryan from Boston. No few potato monkey getting busy like Frank Rizzi. That's a goodie. Weston registered flex offender Johnson.

Tuck back steel pipe Pedro. Mikey, crack me open and clean me out like the sauce monkey I am. Meglio. Rob, 10. Our fathers, 10. Hail Mary's, S-L-O-K-S, Hernandez. Gert Brooks, Dougie Dyke here with an average piece. Tommy, two balls

tucked away back headland. Brandon would let Chris tongue punch my fart box, but that's the winner. Yeah, that's the one. You don't even have to go on. Okay. Feels like the winner.

Yeah, that's the winner. I think so, too. Was that winner Chris E. Massapequa? I think Brandon is my favorite. Yeah, I think the fart box is the number one. Guys, congratulations to all of you. They're all great. There can only be one winner.

Continue. Don't forget, if you're still a toot, go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. Become a non-toot. Our live shows will be up on Patreon exclusively forever. They're never going to be released to the fucking toots.

Only for the non-toots that were not at the show. They're the only ones who will be able to feast on the live shows plus bonuses and all types of additional content over at patreon.com slash bayridgeboys. We've also cracked 1,000, which means the Sandra D. video is a-comin'! It's comin', and it's

comin' quick. Go to historyahinas.com, januspapascomedy.com, christycomedy.com. We got a lot of dates comin' up. Mike, what's your website again? At Mike V. Suarez on Instagram. At Mike V. Suarez on Instagram. Zachy? At Z the Dropout on Instagram. And then Venetia?

At Venetia A. Jarris. Yeah, and don't DM her. And also, please rate us on iTunes. Just go there, give us five stars, and say something funny that you like about the show. Five stars reviews, and then if you get a chance, go on our Instagram, either at Christy Comedy, at Giannis Pappas, or at History Aenas, and read our New York Times review that just came out.

It was a great interview. It was a privilege. Thank you so much to the writer who wrote that. We appreciate it. It was – yeah. His name was Jenkins J. Jenkins. Oh, Jenkins J. Jenkins III. Yeah, and it's just great.

I'm happy that he's a diverse writer, and it was beautiful. All right, have a nice time. I've got to go take some Purviton.