History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - 98 - Basement Yard is Screwed In!

Episode Date: November 27, 2019

Joe Santagato and Danny LoPriore of the Basement Yard Podcast come up with the Cuzzies and make no mistake, these are 2 SCREWED IN kids! We are face to face with our podcast doppelgangers and it gets WILD fast!  The boys talk about JFK's assassination and who they think really killed the president!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

Yeah. What's up everybody? Welcome to the History Hyenas. I'm Chris DiStefano. This is Giannis Papas. We have our own show on IFC. We've got two big guests. And I can only stay for a little while because I've got to go back to Lebanon and lead the freedom fight. It doesn't matter. Reality is just a suggestion. When you put on this podcast, it's all smoke and mirrors now. We've got Joe Santagata. We've got two black kids right here. And Danny.

Is it La Priori? La Priori. La Priori. They got the Basement Yard podcast, which is fucking huge. We just did a whole episode in the studio on Dunkirk, and we really prepared for it. And now we're supposed to look up JFK's assassination. But the truth is it doesn't matter because we just want guys searching your name, which they always do. So just you being here, it doesn't matter if we say anything right

or wrong or if you guys leave right now. Just the fact we're on camera with you means we just did the modern day tonight show. I'm really happy for you guys. We're just fucking screwed in. They're on our podcast and I want to say to them, thanks for having us. No, seriously, thank us. We just want to be next to you. It's like everybody's chasing

these dreams. It's like, yeah, I don't care. Com don't care comedians like hey i got a book coming out yeah i just did a special can i come promote i'm like absolutely not we want to be on the basement yard that's just what it is it's what 2019 is it is i just want to say this out of all the podcasts i've ever heard or ever been on that was an electric fucking i appreciate that make sure we clip that out and you have to post it Instagram. I'll beat the shit out of your family. That's just what it is. A tag history hyena. Yeah.

Yeah, it's just what it is. We didn't even know what the SEO was, but then Mike Suarez here, who is a great comedian also and does all the technical stuff, he said, you got to get guys in the SEO. And then we've got guys in the SEO. You guys are big in the SEO because people want to search you out. Yeah, no. The thing is, these kids, I've been following now. We started following each other a little while ago

and you guys, all your videos are hilarious, man. They truly are. Actually, truly are. Also, I got to say, you, because I'm from Astoria. Yeah.

Very Greek. Yeah. So I'm like an honorary. Honorary. Honorary Greek. Why can't I say that fucking word? But you're not Greek

so you can never date Venetia. Her father would. Yeah, I'm 0.8% Greek. Tell your yaya. You're from Astoria. Yeah, so you growing up, everyone knows who you are in my neighborhood. Because obviously,

and that too. And I'm from Westchester. Oh, shit! Wait a second! Now we're going to talk! I don't want to be looking at him anymore even though he got Greek friends. I need to talk to you! That's what Amani is. I tell you. So yeah, you him anymore even though he got Greek friends. I need to talk to you. That's what Amani is. Holy shit. I tell you.

That's it. So yeah, you were a legend where we were at too. Yeah, so the Basement Yard podcast, which people, it's one of those things

where it's like sometimes you guys have to say if you don't know, people fucking know. People know about their potty waddy. Yeah. This kid's got almost a fucking milli followers on Instagram.

Sorry, what was that? Potty waddy you said? Potty waddy. Yeah, that's what we call the podcast. You're a handsome, cute fucking kid.

First of all, let me just point this out. Yeah. They look like- You're going to get punched through. Yeah, we're all going to get punched through, but they look like younger, better looking versions of us. They do.

Yeah. Hold on a second. Which one am I? You're Chris Lee. And me and Danny, let me just put these on right there. We're the two lesser good looking ones. Yeah. Yeah.

I saw you compare him like he's Brink everything. Yeah. I feel the same way about myself. Yeah. No, me and Joe- Here we go. Look's Brink everything. Yeah. I feel the same way about myself. Yeah. No, me and Joe. Here we go. Look at that. Yeah.

Yeah. With our sweatshirts and janky hats. Same guy. Yeah. Same guy. We're a couple of Brink boys. We're on the brink of everything. Yeah, me and Joe are just a hot muscle, and you two are just the brain.

Yeah, that's it. You know? Someone's got to do it. You got to be hot. You need some hot people to get you in the door. Yeah. That's what it is. Hot people get you in the door

Yeah That's what it is Yeah so Joe's just walking in Joe's a fucking ripped In shape kid too Yeah he is It's a stretch But well I'll go with it

Are you a single kid too? I'm not a single kid Oh so now you got a girlfriend Yeah So you can't talk about Anything you've cracked Yeah You wanna talk about

Cracked open and cleaned out I mean you had sex with a woman You cracked her open And cleaned her out I know what it means Okay Got cracked but he can't But I bet yeah

You know cracked open and cleaned Is one of those things Even if you don't know What it means. Okay. Got cracked, but he can't. But I bet, yeah. You know, cracked, opened, cleaned is one of those things, even if you don't know what it means, you kind of got an idea. It's a lot of context. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So how long have you guys been doing the Basement Yard podcast? I've been doing it for like five years or some shit. I think we've been doing it together for like two.

And then since you guys, since he came on, has it really taken another thing? Yeah. Taken another level. Yeah, because you just need the smart kid with the has it really taken another thing? Yeah. Taken another level. Yeah, because you just need the smart kid with the glasses behind it. That's the thing. That's what Johnny is, too. They got great chemistry, man.

When you watch the ping pong, it's like they're funny. I watched that walnut clip you guys did. Oh, yeah. You're talking about the walnut. I mean, they're very funny, and they also got chemistry. Yeah, and they got a lot of followers. Yeah, they do. So it's just what... And you guys do it from your fucking living room, right?

Yeah. Or from your kitchen. Whose kitchen is it? That's my apartment. Yeah, which is fucking great. It's like you just guys set up shop, make fucking money. I love it. But the thing he was talking about, too, it's like the show is called The Basement Yard.

So The Basement Yard is prefaced from when he was growing up, they all played downstairs in the basement. So it was basically the yard was downstairs. Yeah. So like the whole essence of the show is like kind of being done like quote unquote like in your mom's house or like in your house. Yeah. Where it literally started.

I started doing it on like a folding table in my mom's basement when I was living there. Yeah. Like five or six years ago. No, I remember. I remember when you and I first started talking, I was doing Guy Code. It was like 2012 and you were just like a fan I think of the show. And you're like, hey, I think you're funny and now you're a fucking megastar.

I was just a little twink. I'm feeding myself with Venetia's Yaya's cookies. It's the only calories I got today. Yeah, but so it's good for you though, dude. I appreciate that, man. I remember back in the day, I do remember. I remember I ran into you randomly at a bar once yes like we're watching a team uh usa uh soccer

and there was that they had a midget remember they hired a midget they were sliding them up and down the bar and he was pouring shots in my mouth yes i remember that guy midget got me drunk which we're not supposed to say midget you know that yeah a little person oh yeah sorry yeah a little person yeah which i find to be more offensive in my yeah i'm not on that i'm not them so i can't make the decision. But I'm just saying from an outside source, it looks a little more disrespectful. Yeah, a little person's like, oh, just a little person. You're not even a real person.

Yeah, just give me a name. But they don't like midgets, so just be the bigger person and say little person. Yeah, there you go. Bang! That's what it is. They want you to just call them by their name, but it's hard. Be the bigger person and don't say midget. Yeah.

By bigger person, you mean normal-sized people. Yeah. It's all relative. I always think if you are two little people slash midgets, can you have a normal-sized baby? Yes, you can. Doesn't that hurt? You could just grow up just beating the shit out of your dad. You can very easily.

That's awesome. I didn't know that you can. Yeah, absolutely. Wait, why do you know that so definitively? Yeah, because the kid's adopted. You've done the research. You can very easily. That's awesome. Yeah. I didn't know that you can. Yeah, absolutely, yeah. Wait, why do you know that so definitively? Yeah, because the kid's adopted. You've done the research. You go to college.

I do work with eugenics. Wei Shangxin. Yeah, no, I'm kidding. Can we get a Wei Shangxin for the midget to talk to? Wei Shangxin. What did we say about the midget talk?

Explain that, by the way. What is that? Okay, so tell them about Wei Shangxin. Wei Shangxin just means we're kidding. It's a character piece. If you hear a character piece

of Wei Shangxin, it just means it was a joke. It's like, yeah, I call midgets spears of broccoli, but that's just Wei Zhongxin. Wei Zhongxin. Yeah. Wei Zhongxin. I call them action figures.

Yeah. Yeah. I call them trophies. Wei Zhongxin. Yeah. So we're just kidding around. Yeah. Yeah.

We're just kidding around. So if you hear Wei Zhongxin, Wei Zhongxian was a eunuch in ancient China. An ancient eunuch in ancient China. But they don't have dicks. Isn't that the thing? Yeah. They cut their balls off. That's the one.

Because the thing is when you cut off a guy's balls, then you remove their sex drive. And really that's the only way you can trust a man. And that's what kings used to do. They used to say their advisors would be eunuchs because they would say they're not motivated by sex right so it makes sense if you want to be a fucking uni if you want to be a cutie with a uni so you can't you can't trust anyone that's got balls on them well you can't trust any any the ultimate motivator for human anything is sex so when you remove that even vagina yeah it's all especially men it's like we'll do anything i mean it'd be deep deep deep in our subconscious,

but it's all motivated by sex. Gotcha. Everything. Okay. Unless you take the balls away. He's motivated by a good slurpee and a blow-up doll. Yeah, and a nice blow-up doll. It's just what it is.

Yeah, he's motivated by fucking- Kid likes anime. Yeah, he's motivated by Pokemon. Kid loves anime. Yeah. So this is interesting. Joe's got a fucking- I mean, I'm going to kiss-

Joe? If you hop in his lap I'm hopping on your lap I wanna sit in your lap Kiss you softly And suck your lower lip It's the reason why Listen this table is kinda long

But I feel like you'd get across it If you needed to I'm on a roll chair So all I need is this Back up like this Yeah I want a guy Who you fucking wear A nice fucking

Snuggy size medium t-shirt And it's making me pyoing You know It's making me pyoing It's know, it's making me pyoing. It's a nice color, too. That's the thing. It's salmon. Two, two.

Yeah, yeah. I wore salmon. I'm all right. You marry this kid, you fuck this one. Yeah, that's what it is. That's for sure. This is what we'll do. You'll get in Joe's lap.

I'll get in your lap. Danny will get in my lap, and we'll just form one big gay Russian doll to the sky. That's what it is. Yeah. I'm all over it. Get one side of the other. Yes! These are just successful versions of us.

It's actually Russian doll season, isn't it? Isn't that a Christmas thing or am I wrong? I don't fucking know. How does the person on the bottom lay? Face down or facing up?

I think we're all just sitting on each other. Yeah, we're sitting on each other going right up. Yeah. It's like the Jack the Beanstalk

of gay lapsing. Oh, okay. Yeah, we go all the way to the gay part of heaven. I appreciate a gay part of heaven. You may not know, one thing that we've discovered on this podcast

is I'm a straight guy But I do I have sex with women But I fall in love with men So we have a nice conversation What am I doing for you now? Well right now Once we start to talk about

A little history And we start to Really get deep inside your brain And you want to use some big words Like if you say You're verbose Or something like that Or addendum

If he says addendum He's going to hop over to his table And land in that lap Anything with like four syllables, it's all. Yeah. I'm going to fucking chew your balls off and make you a eunuch. It's just what it is. So it's weird.

On this podcast, we discover a lot of things about each other. And yeah, I'm just a straight kid that I have sex with women, but I fall in love with men. And it's just es lo que es. Which I don't even know if that's. Is that is what it is in Spanish? Do you speak Spanish? Es lo que es. I'm a straight kid that I have sex with women, but I fall in love with men. And it's just, it's just, that's okay. Yes. Which I don't even know if that's, if that is what it is in Spanish. Do you speak Spanish? That's look at us.

We don't, we haven't even discovered if that's right. Yeah. I was looking around like Spanish. She said that you're going to hear a lot of, uh, it's just what it is in different languages. Your whole life. Now that's what's beautiful about you guys.

Your whole life is the podcast. It's your whole, it's your income. It's your whole fucking life. There's a couple of things, but yeah. But it's all fucking, my point, what we love, it's all finance from your own home and your own ideas. It's fucking beautiful. Well, let's, people want to know, like, how did you guys meet?

How did you guys meet and how did this happen? I sang about titties on the internet. Good start. Yeah, so, you know. Hot start. on the internet. Good start. Yeah, so, you know.

Hot start. So I built a big following on an app called Vine where, you know, all those kids that box each other now got their start. Yes. Yeah, seriously.

Logan Paul. Yeah, yeah, all those guys. Also, Chris D'Elia got big on Vine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're huge now. Did he really? Yes.

I mean, he was doing other things. He had the Whitney sitcom. He was doing stand-up. But what really popped him off was Vine. Yeah. He's excellent at Vine. Yeah, yeah. Will Sasso. They all did, like, their thing things. He had the Whitney sitcom. He was doing stand-up. But what really popped him off was Vine. Yeah. He's excellent at Vine. Yeah.

Will Sasso. They all did their thing together. I remember Will Sasso. Will Sasso. The lemon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. His Vines were hilarious. Schwarzenegger and Hulk Hogan.

All those guys. I love that shit. So he got big on Vine. So I got big on Vine. And then I guess I got big enough to catch the attention of him, which was nice. Right. That's what you want. It's hard.

It's hard to reel in a fish like this. He's a fucking beefcake. Yeah. He is a fucking beefcake. He. He is a fucking beefcake. He's a hard fish to reel in. Yeah. But are you half Latino? I'm not half Latino.

You're 100% Italian. And Irish. You're Italian and Irish? Yeah, but you're still not Greek enough for Venetia. I'm not. Danny, I think you're a little Hispanic.

Yes, I am. I'm Puerto Rican and Italian. That's what you're called. My baby. Yeah. Yeah. Tallarican. That was my sixth grade

girlfriend's screen name. Tallarican. That was my sixth grade girlfriend's screen name. Tallarican? Were the letters like one capital, one lowercase? Yeah, it was all up and down, but she was hot. She was hot, yeah. Back then, not now, thinking about it. Sixth grade me was thinking about it. Sixth grade you thought she was hot.

You're not saying sixth graders are hot. No, no, no. I don't want to get it confused. I don't want to go on the record now. How old were you when you lost your virginity? I lost my virginity to, I was 17 years old, and it was a girl, a black girl, who came to my house with a do-rag on. Swear to God, true story.

I was dating her for two months. She had already had sex. I had not. She called me up. Fumes or no fumes? No fumes. Asked me if- No fumare.

Asked me if my mother was home and I said no, and she said she's coming over and we were going to fuck. She put it on you. She put it on me. And then I swear to God, I've told this story before and it's true. I couldn't get it up because I was so nervous. I started to cry. True.

I started to cry. She got really turned off. She went into my mother's kitchen, got some apple juice. I remember she drank the apple juice and it was really cold and she made her mouth cold and then she came down.

She got on her knees and she started sucking my wet penis from my tears with her cold mouth. Got it up enough where I put it in for three pumps and then my very first time I had sex, for three pumps,

I fully came in her and almost got a girl pregnant the very first time I had sex for three pumps i fully came in her and almost got a girl pregnant the very first time you were making bad decisions from the very from the very beginning because she just put her if you put a cold apple juice mouth in my dick i go pewing and i make bad choices i'll be honest with you i was now i have to fold down my boner when you when you said that yeah the cold mouth guy if you ever yeah how cold was this fridge yeah it's apple juice no it's my mother fucking keeps the temperature cold because she's a fucking heartless German bitch.

So it was cold. Yeah. What was the girl's name? Oh, you can't say it. I probably can't say it, right? Yeah. Let's just say. But did you guys have correspondence before that?

Because it sounds like she just came over there and fucked. Yeah. I also want to know, did you have a say in if it was supposed to happen or not? Because it just sounded like she was like, this is happening. No, no. I've been sexually assaulted and had to have sex against my will by multiple women and I'm just waiting for the right time

to let those fly. Yeah. To let those allegations fly. I know. You never got that part in that movie, did you? Yeah, I never got the part in the movie. And it's just, if you don't say yes to doing this podcast,

I'm letting them fly. A lot of locked doors. A lot of 14. And a lot of 14, by the way, if you hear that, a lot of 14 is a subsidiary podcast That we do Patrick Marooney

And Sean Terry A couple firefighters Republican Republican firefighters That they just They say a little conservative things And it's not Chris It's not Giannis

It's just two guys From the other side China It's just They created global warming It's not real Okay Just know that

Ladder 14 We've only been to this We've only been to the city a few times. It's the first time we came up. We brought our passport to the Brooklyn Bridge. We didn't know you had to. Yeah, that's what it is. You didn't need a passport.

So anytime we say anything wild, it's usually the guys from a lot of 14. That's right. Character piece. It's not you guys. It's character piece, yes. It's a good way around this whole thing. Absolutely, yeah. I like it.

How old were you when you lost your virginity? I was, let's see. I was 16. Okay. I was 16. Okay. I was 16. It was to my girlfriend, and I am... How many times? It's just what it is.

Fumes or no fumes. Fumes is if you have a scent. Yeah. No fumes. But, Cheetah, who cares? You're not using her. Oh. Now we're back.

Yeah, but why? For obvious reasons. We're just cackling more. Wait, how do you know that she listened? She hit you up and she told you. Yeah, I'm friends with her still, and the kid keeps talking about a fucking thing. This is all into it. This is going nowhere.

I'm telling you, if you would just fucking, you know. We're back. And we're back. I love how all he does is talk about the future on these podcasts and he's such a pussy on the podcast. He won't say or do anything.

It's just one thing. It's a personal person. You can't talk about personal person. You're not invited to six Thanksgivings because of what you did. You're not using it. Your family is about

to take legal action against you. You're not using their name. Should we step outside? You guys want a minute? Yeah. It's all right. Are we back? We need a lawyer

to just fucking tell us. Yeah, my lawyer is Jeff Cohen. He's Chunk from the Goonies. Yeah. He's a good lawyer. The actual guy who played Chunk, the truffle shuffle, that man grew up and is my actual entertainment lawyer. The actual guy who played Chunk, the truffle shuffle, that man grew up

and is my actual entertainment lawyer. Is he really? The name Jeff Cohen is a very lawyer name. Oh, yes. The perfect lawyer. He screwed in that kid.

Have you ever asked him to do it? Yeah, he does it once for all his clients and then you can't ask him to do it again. Really? Yeah. That's fucking awesome.

He's not even fat anymore. No, I know. He's fucking ripped. I think he might be a gay kid too. I'm not sure. Okay. Should we tackle that? Well, I guess I don't have a lawyer. Well, yeah, I know. He's fucking ripped. I think he might be a gay kid, too. I'm not sure. Okay. Should we tackle that? Well, I guess I don't have a lawyer.

Well, yeah. I'll just sue my own lawyer. What if my own lawyer is going to sue me? I'll hire him to sue himself. That's one of the most... That's low-key ass. Yeah, that's him. He's a fucking cute kid.

He'll get kissed on the lips and his fucking bottom lip will get sucked. Yeah, he fucks. Look at that fedora picture, too. Good for him. Yeah, no, he fucks. That guy fucks. If you're in a fedora, you fuck. I love how bald guys always figure out a way

to stylishly wear a hat. You notice that? All of a sudden they just start wearing fedoras or cowboy hats. That's a cute hat. Good for him. I like the arms cross picture. Is that him or is that somebody else? No, that's just some other guy. Some other guy, Jeff.

Another white guy, Jeff. Another guy named Jeff Cohen who's a lawyer. I mean, it's just like, you know. There's a lot of Jeff Cohen. You should have to legally change your name if you want to be a lawyer and your name's Jeff Cohen because how do people find you? Does he like the Goonies movie? I never actually talked to him about it, but probably.

You got to walk in there just wearing a fucking shirt. This is the Goonies. I mean, every time I, you know, it's like, I'm sure. Oh, hey, sorry. I didn't realize I had this one. He's got a lot of big clients. He does it for the jury as, hey, you guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, you guys. So I was 16 when I lost my virginity to my girlfriend, and I called all my friends immediately. Like, I just won sweepstakes or something. That's how excited I was about it. Were you three pumps as well? Or was that just Chris? No, I did three pumps. Yeah, I was about it. Were you three pumps as well? Or was that just Chrissy? No, I did three pumps.

Three pumps, yeah. I was a couple pumps. Did you use a Jimmy hat or no? No, it was Raw Deezer. Raw Deezer, yeah. I also Raw Deezed my first time. You blew in there? No.

No, I didn't do that. You blew up the shop? No. Belly button. Belly button shots. Yeah, yeah, yeah. High school was all about the belly button shots. Yeah, it's good practice.

Yeah. I was a dripper too back then. I wasn't a shooter. What do you mean? Honestly, that makes me mad. You were shooting? No, dripping. Yeah. Dripping makes me upset. And pornos then. I wasn't a shooter. What do you mean? Honestly, that makes me mad. You were shooting? No, dripping. Yeah.

Dripping makes me upset. And pornos too. I hate it. Yeah. Yeah, you're like, come on, this is ridiculous. Shoot a fucking rope already. Yeah. Yeah.

I wasn't shooting ropes, I think, until my 30s. Yeah. What took so long? I don't know. Is that when you started training? Well, you stop jerking off four, five times a day like an animal, and you become a human being, and your cum just takes a little break

every once in a while. That's probably what it is. Of course it is. I have this wild thing in my reproductive system. So I have a lot of sperm, right? Because I have a hyperactive cowper's gland.

So it's very big. It's the thing that makes sperm. So it's very big. So I shoot out a lot of sperm. I shoot fucking ropes, right? And they're filled with sperm. Extremely potent. That's why I out a lot of sperm i shoot fucking ropes yeah right and it's and it's they're filled with sperm extremely potent that's why i got a few girls pregnant yeah and um your your semen's like mexico city yeah it's just populated populated yeah yeah so so i um but the interesting thing

is the doctor told me is that because what happens is because my calpris gland is so big it takes a while for my load to fill up and when i shoot a it's a lot – it's thick rope and it's filled with sperm. Yeah. But it takes me a while then to get going again. Regenerate. I can only have sex like once every couple of days because it just – I got dead dick all the time. Even when I was a teenager, the doctor asked me. I never realized it.

She was like, did you notice like even as a teenager like you couldn't really after you came you couldn't get it up that much and i was like i guess i i didn't really think of it but i remember then my friends like talking like i banged this girl 10 times last night i'm like yeah me too but the truth is i didn't do any of that so but you have enough come for 10 times yes it's a lot of come so i can get she was like your catch 22 is you can get if a woman wants to get pregnant you're the guy she wants to have sex or not, you're not the guy. But here's the interesting thing. She said as you get old –

You're not even into women at all. I'm not into women at all. Yeah, that's the thing. The interesting thing is I don't want to do any of this. That's the thing. So how long – Every time I see a vagina, I'm like, ew. You still have like this cum curse?

I still have the cum curse, but here's the thing. As I get older, which is – I'm 35 now. I'm probably going to start happening soon. So as you get older, inevitably, like everything in your body, things will get smaller. Things will get like less stiff and all that. And your calvus gland will begin to shrink and you'll actually be sexually – you can have so much more sex with less chance of getting a woman pregnant as you get older. She said you have like this gift where it's almost like in the your dick's reversed she's like exactly it's like benjamin button she was like you got a benjamin button dick little benjamin

button dick because she was like as you get older you'll be able to have you'll you'll still be able to get it up you'll be able to have more sex as you get older where guys are going down you'll be going up because of this reverse Calper's gland thing. But in your sexual prime, teens, 20s, 30s, you will get girls pregnant. You'll have a lot of cum. So you're going to crush old women. As you get old. Yeah.

As I get older, I'm just going to – but the thing is I've already committed to this. The first 50 years of my life, I'm going to be straight. The last 50, I'm going gay. The dudes will love that. Yeah. My knowledge, gay dudes love big loads. They love big loads. Wait, is your load going to get smaller?

No, it's just going to become normal. It'll be the same amount. I'll be able to have, it'll be normal. She said, when you're 40, let's say you'll have the sexual, you'll be able to have sex as much as a 20-year-old. But right now, I can have sex less than a 20. When my friends were 21 and they were having sex. Your dick is aging in reverse is what you're saying.

It's in reverse. I wasn't able to have sex that much. Yeah, you'll be able to bang more as you get older. But as I get older, yeah, I'm just going to do some crystal meth and bug chase. There you go. There you go. You know what bug chasing is? I do know what bug chasing is.

Yeah, well, we uncovered the root of it is from this drug called Pervitin, which the Nazis used to use to make their soldiers crazy. It's like early modern-day Christmas. How did you guys work your way back to the Nazis? It's just a little skill I have. Christmas did that a lot. Everything kind of dates back to them. Ridgewood, where he's from, was a predominantly German neighborhood.

I didn't even know that until I started hanging out with him. So you came to the bakery Rudy's. It's like they used to be all German and like a lot of them supported the Nazis in Queens. That's what it is. That's good. What can you do? You're from Astoria, Queens. Yeah, not too far from the Nazis apparently. Yeah, not too far.

Throw a baseball, hit a Nazi. And you were surrounded by Greeks so the freaking Germans in Ridgewood were probably always thinking about conquering Astoria. Yeah, we just wanted to take it over. I didn't even know I was like this close to getting conquered. Yeah, because Germans just can't help it. I bet you the Germans in Ridgewood were probably always thinking about conquering Astoria. Yeah, we just wanted to take it over. I didn't even know I was this close to getting conquered. Yeah, because Germans just can't help it. I bet you the Germans in Ridgewood were constantly looking at other neighborhoods like, we should just go.

They were just one Fuhrer away from getting in there. They just needed a Fuhrer to stand up. And where are you from? I'm from Westchester. Yeah, but we said it before. Oh, we said that on the cast already? Yeah, we said that on the cast. I thought that was before.

We call it Yanni, sometimes Yanni Sundowns. He's early onset Alzheimer's. Yeah, sometimes I forget we said that on the cast. I thought that was before. We call it Yanni, sometimes Yanni Sundowns. He's early onset Alzheimer's. Yeah, sometimes I forget. He starts to sundown. His Alzheimer's kicks in. He's Yanni Sundowns and he's Yanni Almost. He's almost a lot of things, and he does sundown, which is an early Alzheimer's patient.

Once in a while, I just forget. I thought that was combo before the cast, but we were actually recording for that. So I'm Danny Almost then. Yeah, you're Danny Almost. If we were playing two-on-two basketball, it would be the Almost versus the Cute Kids. And we'd almost win.

We'd almost win, yeah. We'd lose by one point. But we would win. Would you get sad after you'd shoot these mega ropes and get depressed? Also, this sounds tiring. I wouldn't get depressed also like this sounds tiring not not i wouldn't get depressed but i

remember like multiple well two things would cost me relationships one i i wasn't able to have sex as much as like a young girl in her 20s realistically though like how many days like you say you like it's impossible for you to jerk off twice in a day like real yeah just very rarely so realistically i would if i had sex with a girl at night on a tuesday i couldn't really have sex with her again till thursday or friday like it just would we could try but it's just like i could get it hard enough that she could like you know have sex with it but i couldn't come and that that would cost me a lot is not having sex that much and also every time i go down on girls i get sore throats so it would be you can't eat puss and you can't have sex that much

that might be the girls not you I don't know if you have a mouth that's just like causing sore throats no yeah I got big tonsils that's what it is I also have big tonsils

do you get when you go down on girls do you get sore throats I don't right I also feel like they shrank my tonsils for some reason because I used to be more nasally

right right yeah I just have big I may have to get a tonsillectomy I'm definitely not doing that it's pretty bad as an adult but i just i mean i want to eat puss and yeah i don't know you want to eat puss i do want now i've just been doing it yeah and i've just been living with a sore throat dealing with that yeah take as i can yeah because at the end of the day it's like you know we're all gonna go one day so it's like am i here i'm here to eat puss

yeah yeah you know don't let a sore throat stop you from eating puss. It's just you could deal with it a little bit. You drink a little green tea, you know? What do you do? You take a little Pervitin, you're all right. Honey and tea, you're good. We're the perfect tag teams for, like, chicks. Yes.

Like the two of us. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? Because, like, you guys would rope the girls in and just start it off, like, because the girls are attracted by you. But then you guys, since it was always so easy for you, you're not that great in bed. Yeah. And then we come in and we just put the work in.

Yeah. Yeah. Because we know we got to go that extra mile. And so when you're sitting back, you tag us in. You're like, okay, so I don't get a sore throat. And you come in and that's when I come in there and I go crazy. Yeah. Yeah.

You can take care of your tonsils. We'll switch that out. Absolutely. I don't get sore throats. I don't want to be looped into the sore throat. No, but I'll replace you if you need me to do it. But there's no way you can just go put his disc in. No way.

No fucking way. You guys are bad in bed because you don't really care. Yeah. You don't really care about pleasing women. It's like you can get other women. But isn't that true, though? You guys are just like, yeah, I'm just going to fucking cum and fucking kiss, you know? Yep.

That's what it is. But I go in there. I'm all fucking sensual with it because I'm going to enjoy this. Yeah. No, I mean, the thing is like i want to i want to please women but it's it's not that i don't care it's just like i'm just a tired kid yeah i'm just tired you know there's anxiety there's a long day anxiety inducing things you know and now that i have now i have a daughter i have a kid so it's like my energy is like almost zero every day

so it's like yeah i don't even like you know there's times where like girls will come over and i'm just like i don't i mean whatever try to fucking have sex a little bit you know throw it in for but i don't care if they're like oh well i wish we had more sex i'm like you know you can just go get another guy i mean i'll still be your friend i don't i just don't care you know so people think you're gay people think i'm gay people think i'm gay too so yeah that's fine and that's the thing it's like yeah i guess because i'm not gay like you can say i'm gay i just don't whatever it doesn't bother me at all like people be like yo guess because I'm not gay, like, you can say I'm gay. I just don't, whatever you want to do about it. It doesn't bother me at all.

Like, people will be like, yo, you're gay. And I'll be like, yeah, 100%. 100%, guy. Yeah. I'll fucking lick your throat right now. I'll fucking suck your ass right now. Someone commented on a post that we put up on our podcast page. And he wrote, Joe's gay for sure.

And I was like, the fuck? Where did this come from? I just love that people, like, you know, just on social media, they just think that they can say whatever they want to you. Sure. And that you just have no feelings. Sure.

Yeah. They do. Yeah, well, it's like trolling is a new phenomenon that the internet, it's like the dark side of the internet. Yeah. And it exists because of the internet. But if you don't respond to them, that's just how you win. Yeah, I know.

You don't say, I don't say anything to, you know what I do when people troll me? Everybody, I just comment German flags now. I just put German flags under anything. German flag, German flag, German flag. Just what it is. And they don't know what that means, and I don't know what it means, but I'll just fucking, what we do here on this podcast is, the truth is, reality is just a suggestion. We have two articles that were written about us from the New Yorker.

I saw it. New York Times. I saw it. And they're both fake. And they're both young. I wrote it. New York Times. And there's a big prestigious thing. And they're both fake. And they're both Janus. I wrote them. Both from his bathtub.

Yeah, why not? So nobody cares, okay? Yeah. That's the truth. I wrote them all. It doesn't fucking matter at all. That guy writes a hell of an article. Yeah.

It doesn't matter, but people are congratulating us. My PR lady is like, that's fucking great. You guys are getting real press. I'm like, yeah, get with it, lady. But meanwhile, Yanni's writing from his fucking, his dead dad's underwear. Yeah. And Maurice is a real person. I'm just doing a character named Yannis.

Yeah, Maurice is the real Yannis. Maurice is the real person. Maurice is actual, the real person. Yeah, this is just a character piece that Yannis does. Yeah, I love it. I love it. Yeah, Yannis is the real person. I love that you become smarter, too, and you're very literate.

Yeah. You just put together a great sentence. I saw no run-on sentences in that. Yeah, me and Yannis just were the new cast members of SNL, so it doesn't matter. I'd be willing to bet that no one read that article and they just saw the headline

and they were like, that's great for them. That's great for them. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. It's like these venues reach out and they're like, oh yeah, the New York Times

are writing these guys, we need them too. I'm like, yeah. I mean, because really it's all marketing. What an idea. Yeah, any big comedian you hear of,

it's just marketing. Their fans love them. Do you guys want a review from the New York Times? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we get Maurice in here? Yeah, you can go to everyone. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

I mean, you guys, I'll do one for the New Yorker. Where else do you work? Economist. I work a variety team. I'll do a United States Army PR press release for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever you need. Anything that's going to show up in a dentist's office for the next 15 years.

Absolutely. You guys want an Us Weekly review? I'll put you in the Us Weekly. We'll start framing them in magazines. Yeah, we'll do whatever you guys need to know. I'll do Us Weekly for you. Anything that's going to show up in a dentist's office for the next 15 years. That's it, bro. You guys want an Us Weekly review? I'll put you in the Us Weekly. We'll start framing them in magazines. Yeah, we'll do whatever you guys need to know. I'll do Us Weekly for you.

No problem. Some people, some people magazines. Sure. We've been meaning to do more press. You know what I'm saying? Well, we're your guys.

Yeah, right? We got them right here, so we're ready. We even say that publicly on the podcast, but a review, and we're going to start getting reviewed

by ex-presidents. It's all coming. Oh, yeah. Obama just wrote a review on us. We're going to start getting reviewed by ex-presidents. It's all coming. Obama just wrote a review on us. We're going to get a review from you guys, too. Absolutely. No problem. You guys want to repost it, it's up to you. When people ask who wrote it,

we just say it's from the digital department. Put the German flag. It's just open for interpretation. Do you guys ever laugh, though? Like a comment somebody says about you on the internet? Some of them are just so good, I don't respond. But I'm like, all right, this was funny. Yeah, I mean, people have said some wild shit about me. Well, the nicknames that have stuck for us the most have mostly been our fans.

Yeah. Like Yanni. Cyclops, because my eyes are too close together. Yeah, his eyes are too close together. Now that I'm looking at it, you can see it. I think you look great, bro. And then we have a sponsor. Yeah, me too.

We have a sponsor of the podcast whose eyes are too far apart, and our fans noticed that, and they said that's his nemesis. One's too close, one's too far apart. So these are all funny jokes that we have, and our fans do it. So a lot of times I'm like like i even do that with hecklers in stand-up like if somebody heckles me and it's funny i just give it up for them as opposed to like this ego bravado shit where it's like yeah i gotta i'm in charge it's like you're not in charge stupid you're not an artist we're doing fucking stand-up okay shut up he's got a he's a fan gave

him a nickname clue clucks chrissy yeah which Yeah. Which, yeah. Way song she in. Yeah, I put a German flag under that. I don't want to be a part associated with that, but I am wearing a jacket from American History X. Yeah, that is. It's kind of a piece. It's honestly the exact outfit. Yeah, no, but I support all racist religions, absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely.

No, because I had a kid the other... Can you say the F word on here? Yeah. All right. Wait, which one? The one that ends in a T? Yeah, well, that's what we have a term for. We call them FFs.

All right, FFs. Well, now you're giving it away. Yeah, it's fat fucks. If you went to patreon.com slash Barry Ridgeports, you know that it ends in a T. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the guy left me a comment. He goes, dude, I love you, but you used to be way more funny. Now you're a FF.

Really? Yeah, and I was just like, for some reason, I just lost it. I just started fucking cracking up. Because he gave me such a nice compliment. And then he called me an FF. You know what? You opened up so nice that you closed so hard on me. I think they do it to

get your attention. Because you see all the positive comments. And you ever notice how you never remember the positive comments? Yeah. It's the one troll that, you know, and then now we have a troll president. Well, because if it was real,

the problem is because of it, the thing is this, is if those comments were real, if that person actually meant that and the people actually, you know, really cared and were willing to die by the sword

if you used a plastic straw, if that was any, if that was in the physical realm and not the social media realm, you would meet these people in person. You never met anybody you've not met one single person ever in your life who has ever wanted to die by the sword of their fucking things they claim that they stand by on twitter because it's the physical realm uh is this reality and then you have the social media fucking virtual reality realm which is a different reality but the interesting thing

is things that happen in that other realm have implications in this one. I mean, people get fired all the time for outrage on social media. None of it's real. None of it is real. I even tweet from time to time. I go, anything I say on here isn't real. Yeah.

I'll do it from time. I'll tweet that out. I'll be like, none of this is serious. That's why we say on this podcast, reality is just a suggestion. Because it's like, whatever, guy, I'm living in the real world. So it's like, if you want to tell me that you're really offended by what some comedian said and you're fucking not going to buy tickets it's like okay i'm sure you will and it's it's that it's what he was saying how it did those comments kind of stand out because

also i feel like a lot of people that i've met that do what we do is are very self-conscious so they sure they're like when they get fired up about it and maybe don't say anything. The thing that's fucked up though, is that with like Justin Bieber and like those type of people, like those fans, there was a time on Twitter where they would like retweet or like post these people that were saying that they were suicidal. So then they would answer them and be like,

Oh, everything's going to be okay, whatever. So then young girls would go on Twitter and be like, Oh, everything's going to be okay, whatever. So then young girls would go on Twitter and be like, oh, if I just act like I'm suicidal or do this, then I'm going to whatever. Bieber's going to fly me out with Scooter Braun. Yeah, exactly.

I'm going to end up on Ellen. Get a thousand sneakers for the rest of my life. Or a thousand Lexapro. Doing that for a long period of time, I feel like the girls will start to believe that and they just make themselves depressed. Yeah, sure. I've seen that happen.

It's like the strangest thing in the world. Social media is the greatest, most depressing place on earth. Sure. It's just what it is. I've actually experienced when you tweet something sympathetic or you're going through something, you tweet it, and then it just gets more likes. Oh, yeah. You almost find yourself almost getting addicted to it. You're like, I want to do that again.

I'm hurt. Start doing that, too. Just fake fucking. Yeah, we should just fake. Fake emotions. Victims. Because you get more likes. Oh, my God.

Because if you don't like someone who's in pain, it's almost like a hate crime. If you're a victim, if you're a victim, I mean, think about American Idol. It's like, if you're not a victim, you're not going to win. I don't care how good of a singer you are. You better have some fucking obstacle you overcame. You better be blind. Or nobody cares. Yeah.

Or genuinely nobody cares. You better have fucking tragedy that has to happen in your life. And it's just the society we live in, and it's okay. But it's like the jig is up for us, and it's like we're just going to play your game too now. Yeah. But we're just going to double down. You have to double down. What's the show with the exes, America's Got Talent or whatever?

Yeah. All those golden buzzers or whatever. It's like some kid who has autism or it's like this girl's family died in a fire. And it's like, ah, we're going to give you a kid who had a stutter. And he told three jokes and he's like, put him to Hollywood. It's like, listen, you stutter. We're going to give you a golden buzzer. And it's going to go slow motion. And everyone's going to love you.

You're going to fucking cry about it. You're going to go straight to Hollywood and stutter some more. Tell you what, I am going to cry you a golden buzzer, and it's going to go slow motion, and everyone's going to love you. We're going to fucking cry about it. You're going to go straight to Hollywood and stare some more. Tell you what, I am going to cry about it, though. Yeah. Those get me. I cry like a bitch. They do that, and then the producers of the fucking show just go and fuck children on Jeffrey Epstein's island.

It's just what it is. Yeah. Not anymore, though. They shut down the island. Well, I'm sure there's another island. Oh, I'm sure there's thousands of islands. I'm sure there's another island. If we get a few rungs higher, we're going to get an email to go to, and I'm not going to go.

Yeah. There's definitely a city. It's called the Vatican City. Yeah, the Vatican City is great. Yeah, yeah. My mom, I'm sorry to my mom. What happens when the catacombs stays there? Yeah, the island's gone, but the city still stands.

Yeah, it's just what it is. It's its own country. Yeah, it is. When I was in Italy, though, and the Vatican and everything, my fiance was like, hey, do you want to go in? And I kind of was just like, nah, I'm good. I was like, I know what happens in these walls. There's a lot of secrets buried in the tombs of this place. Why is that?

Why are there little boys? Because you can't have sex with women. They tell you you can't do that. And you've got these little pages running around getting you water and crackers. Unnatural. And then it's just unnatural. And then you get, since you can't have a woman,

you start lusting after these little boys. I think the rule is, if you can't have a woman, you probably can't have a little boy. But then even furthermore, I think how it initially started, you're taking away sex, which is like a natural urge. So that starts to make you fucking cuckoo if you are a sexual being.

And then it just started to become a cover for pedophiles. Then it just was like, if you are a pedophile and you're 16, 17 years old, and you're like, fuck, I'm addicted, I'm sexually aroused by kids, you're like, let me go be a priest. But that's just one of the reasons. The main reason is, do you think, it's a fake, it's, you know, it's the main reason

is because we're worshiping a fake God. The true God is Allah. So it's like, we're just getting, you know, Christians are getting punished by God. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, because if you're not following Allah, you're just wrong. Yeah, yeah, just, yeah.

Finally. Yeah, there we go. Yeah, I mean, you just gotta- The one true leader is, is the, who's the one with the hijabu in Congress? The hijabu? You mean the, you mean the hood? Yeah, what's her name?

Are you talking about the stormtrooper head? Yeah, what's her name in Congress? Ilhan Omar? Yeah, what's her name? Are you talking about the stormtrooper head? Yeah, what's her name in Congress? Ilhan Omar? Yeah, Ilhan Omar. She's the one who I think she has the best ideas. You know, it's funny. You wanted to cackle the whole thing, and then you just hit it again. We had a previous episode where he said the same thing.

He's like, there's no way we're releasing that, and then he just banged it again. Yeah, but there was another part to that that was the problem. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How much do you guys usually bang in this thing? C to that that was the problem. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. How much do you guys usually bang in this thing? Cackle out? Cackle out a lot. Yeah, it's usually – Like, that'll be cackled out.

Venetia is, like, kind of here to just – Yeah. Because she's, like, a woke-up millennial. I was going to say that. You, like, turned over for it. Can we say the name? No, we can't say the name. I was like –

I like how he knows it's going to get – And then he just leans back and smiles. He's just – Yeah. Yeah. Just going to have to say it. Well, the thing is I have – Can we keep that about the jihadis? I can get away with things because they call me Chrissy Charms because I can charm.

But the charm's going away, though. If my calvary's gland's getting smaller, my charm's going away. I think my calvary's gland... You take the good with the bad. My charm lives in my calvary's gland, and they're shrinking. So it's just what it is. How did they find that? They had to do...

They go in through the front? Put a camera up your D, dude? No, no, no. So what happened was I got a girl who was on birth control pregnant. That's almost impossible. Well, not if you've got a hyperactive calipers. Not if you're shooting 10-ounce Superman.

No, we fucking came. We blitzkrieged that pussy. That's what I'm saying. That's no cast. Yeah. Sorry. So we – sorry. So they couldn't believe that I got this girl pregnant and blah, blah, blah, blah. So they did tests on you.

The doctor was like, just do a test. So I go in to donate sperm and they're like, do you want prostate or do you want to masturbate or do you – a nurse can come in and do – give you a prostate exam. I was like, both. No. Did they really say that? Yeah, no. That's the option. A nurse can do it and give you a prostate exam? I was like, both. No. Wait, did they really say that? Yeah, no, that's the option. A nurse can do it without you having to do anything. They go in and they touch your prostate or massage your prostate.

And you just come? Yeah, it just comes out. I don't even believe that. It's science. Yeah, so they do that. What's the address? Or you could jerk off. Yeah, they had magazines, so you could jerk off.

You jerked off? You're like, bring me a bucket. Yeah, yeah. Just find a magazine a bucket. Yeah. Just fucking bang. Yeah. This episode is just becoming about Chrissy's cum. Yeah. I think this is the most minutes we've done about your cum.

Yeah, we're going to talk about JFK's assassination. Well, that guy fucking left cum anywhere anyway. Yeah, true. We're talking about your tonsils, your asshole, your prostate exam, and your cum. But that's what the big New York kids want to know. That's what they want to guess what they're into. So speaking of magic bullets. There it goes.

There it is. Mike, bang. Speaking of big shocks. Yeah. So I get my sperm looked at and the doctors say that it's like four or five times

the amount of normal sperm. So they're like Like the million dollar man. Yeah. At first they thought that I was born they wanted to verify that I was born. They wanted to verify that I was born in Queens and I wasn't adopted from Russia because they thought I was potentially born

in a Chernobyl radiation zone, which is wild. That would explain some stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because that's a common side effect over there? Yeah, well they have all types of mutations. They all have big loads. Yeah, they have all types of mutations. That wasn't in the HBO series. I didn't see it. Yeah, I didn't see that either. They left that part out. Yeah. Let's kill some dogs. Let's leave the cum shots out of mutations. That wasn't in the HBO series. I didn't see it. They left that part out.

Let's kill some dogs. Let's leave the cum shots out. So they said they wanted to look further because it could be an abnormality or it could have a tumor or something like that. So they just did an MRI and they looked and they saw how big the Calpris gland was

and they're like, oh, this is the problem. You're fine. it's just like you know just a savage just shoot out these fucking guido ropes you ever see that you ever see those guys those people that suffer from that orgasm uh oh yeah like disease where they just come all the time yeah yeah like they'll be talking to you like yeah but so oh yeah does it even shoot does no no no it's just it's just orgasm yeah they like oh yeah ground and shit i mean i was gonna say you ever jerk off four times one Does it even shoot? No, it's just orgasm It's painful after a while I was going to say you ever jerk off four times in one day but obviously not with that Sometimes when you get the flu in like

6th grade and you're like I'm just going to beat this thing to hell The fourth time hurts It hurts, everything Genital arousal disorder Yeah, so they get aroused from walking and anything touches it They just come and hurt And it, they just buzz. Common heart.

The wind. And it's actually like, it hurts. It's like a problem. It's like very painful. Well, he came blood in the beginning of the year. Two years ago, yeah. Yeah, he came blood. This calendar year?

What are we talking about? 2018? 2018. Yeah, he jerked off and some blood spewed out. Yeah, then I had to go. How much? Just a little bit and then enough to notice. Yeah, all you need is a little

to be like, what the fuck? How scared were you though in that moment? Scared. You were like, dude, I have cancer everywhere. We wrote a whole

Bay Ridge Boys episode about our web series. Yeah, it was enough to make a web series episode. Because I was scared. I watched that actually. Yeah, that was the one. Based on real life.

It was based off the real story. Yeah, the kid came, his glue was bloody. Yeah, so I had to go to, you go get the finger in the butt to see if the prostate's okay, and apparently it's okay. Apparently, like...

What did the doctor say to you, too? He goes, sorry, kid, or whatever it was. Yeah, sorry, kid. Yeah, like, when he goes in... Because you just, like... You bent over. Yeah, gay guys are real men, man. They just, like...

To do that, like, it's an uncomfortable feeling. Yeah. Like, you got to be in a men To want something in your asshole Yeah You know Cause he was just in there And he saw I just kinda was like

I was just dealing Just wincing a little bit Yeah he just He was just like sorry kid What do you do You do a knuckle Or like first knuckle They go two fingers in there right

Yeah yeah yeah They put two fingers Up your butt Oh my god Yeah Well it depends what kind of asshole If you have a wide asshole If you have a wide set ass

I don't know I don't know what kind of asshole I got a two finger ass Hey look That guy just pokes it right in the butt Yeah I guess they go one index finger over Like they're trying to press an elevator button. But you didn't come, though.

Huh? You didn't come. Not this time. Yeah. This was the third prostate exam I've had. Yeah. You've had three? Two.

Yeah, they just touch the bladder right there. They just touch the prostate, and then it shoots your glue out. And that little thing under the bladder, I believe, is the calipers gland, and that's where my- Your thing is just huge. That's where I just shoot glue out of. You just got like an Andre the Giant. Oh, wow. We are really in this.

We're in there. I love how they put a glove on the car, too. I would request, yeah. I want to put a big mouth glove on there. I want to put a no glove with his wedding ring on. I tell you this. Kyo! Kyo!

I don't know why. We're supposed to be talking about JFK's assassination and we just have a picture of the rectum up it's what happens on this podcast the second part of this podcast is hyena it'll all make its way around we'll eventually get there my mom looked like JFK's wife

Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis people would stop in the street my mom when she was young people would stop her in the street my father verified this and they when she was young, people would stop her in the street. My father verified this, and they thought she was Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. They would call her Jackie O? They would call her Jackie O. Yeah, my mom looks just like her.

She does a little bit. Dude, this woman saw her husband's face get blown off. Yeah. And then she tried to put it back together, too, if you watch the video. Wait, did she really? Yeah, dude. She gathers his skull and is trying to put it back on his head. watch the video wait did she really yeah she gathers his skull and it's like trying to like put it back on his head that's not how that works i did opie and

anthony with the um i think his name was clint black and he wrote a book he was the secret service agent that when you watch the video he jumps in the back of the car was he the one that got shot he didn't get shot he didn't get shot i forgot the got shot. But anyway, we did a whole three-hour interview. I was just the other guest on Opie and Anthony when they did this. And he was saying that when he jumped in the back, like, you know, you have to take – it's a whole procedure. He was like, you have to take him to the hospital and tell the American people that we tried everything. And Kenny said when he – he was pretty much decapitated, dead, like, eyes in the back. Like, he was dead.

Like, he said the first shot, like, by the time, well, the second shot, like he was, there was no saving him. It was pointless to take him to the hospital. Yeah. He said it was just like, it was all, and he said he believes, this guy believes, that being there, how quick everything happened, he said he doesn't think for a second

that Lee Harvey Oswald killed him. Well, that's what these boys are here to solve it today. You guys told us you have the answer. What happened? Yeah, what happened? Then we can get back to the rest. Somebody got shot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's get back to solve it today. You guys told us you have the answer. What happened? What happened? Then we can get back to the rest. Let's get back to ropes after that. I'm probably going to disappear into the back of a dumpster.

Should we just do this episode with each other's fingers and all our assholes? Yeah, let's do it. Get in my lap. Let's check each other's prostate. I just learned about this little magic button in the backseat. Absolutely. Yeah, well, you're going to really learn about it tonight after the podcast. Yeah.

You're coming over, and we're going to take some Pervitin andin and put on pretty woman and you're gonna get cracked in my love sack that's what's gonna happen you know what i learned though from getting my my prostate checked it was like the amount of worry i had after i saw the blood and then the relief i felt when i found out it was nothing was almost worth having the worry was almost worth getting a finger in ass. Yeah, almost worth having the blood in there and the finger because the feeling of like, it's like, you ever think you have AIDS or herpes and then you go get a cat? Yeah, every day. And then you get a clean beer.

Yeah, welcome to every Tuesday. And you just leave the office and click your heels like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just a happy camper after that. I would have jerked off right after that. You're like, I'm playing with house money, whatever happens now. It's almost like a drug. It's like a high when you find out you got a clean bill of health.

All right. So what do you guys think happened with JFK? Kids in the basement yard are about to crack it. Yeah. I mean, that's a lot of pressure. I'm going to end up in the back of a garbage dumpster probably, but I definitely think the mob had something to do with it. Really?

For sure. For sure. Wait, why? Because Jackie. Jackie Donatis? No, no,ie uh no no no no john f kennedy and his brother rfk were trying to crack down on the mafia and especially around the time with uh jimmy hoffa as well because nixon was cool with them and nixon was the one that actually pardoned jimmy hoffa and then obviously jimmy hoffa disappeared because they thought that he was going to snitch so they got somebody else

and then they were trying to make sure that they could take care of all these things, have these ports, be able to move however they want to move, because a lot of the times the mafia helped out the presidents. They did. And this time around, JFK was distancing himself. They didn't like that. They didn't like that. They did not like that.

So I think they had him clipped. They knew something about it. They helped get him clipped They did not like that. So I think they had him clipped. They knew something about it. They helped get him clipped. There's no way Lee Harvey Oswald did it himself because it just runs counter to the psychology of these people who usually do this because they never say they didn't do it. Like anyone who's tried to assassinate somebody or assassinated somebody wants the credit. Right. They don't go, I'm a patsy. I didn't do it.

They go, it was me. You know what I mean? I did it. And that's why because he was publicly saying i didn't do it that's why he got killed the next day yeah by uh jack ruby that's what i'm saying and then a guy all of a sudden just fucking walks up to you and shoots you like three times in your chest as you're i know listen i know it was like back in the day where like security like apparently wasn't a thing but like this guy just killed the president yeah yeah right and you're walking him to a car around reporters and shit and a guy walks right up to him and

shoots him it's like the same thing it's like it's like the equivalent obviously way different circumstances but of how like epstein hung himself in his cell yeah yeah he was killed but it's the same thing and then i was snapped his neck or something right what didn't he have like a snap neck they said that he well he they said that he hung himself in the cell, but he had his injuries where like there's no way that you could, that's what they say. Dr. Bodden, the guy from HBO, did an autopsy that the family paid for and they said, he said, Dr. Bodden said that it was a homicide. That the way the neck was broken is consistent.

But look at how the story just went away. Because it's gone now. You know how fucking impossible it would be to kill yourself when you're fucking Epstein under supervision? Also, when Bill Clinton takes 20 fucking rides on your airplane, you're going to disappear. No, but they'll make it do whatever. This goes away. Look, Epstein's away.

Now there was a school shooting last week. There was another mass shooting yesterday. Those will start coming back. There's another one today, I think. Another one today. It's a season for that. They fucking have articles about they want to ban clapping in movie theaters. I mean, they just fucking put shit out. We just talked about that. They'll make Trump say something crazy, and then everybody forgets about Epstein.

It's so fucked up that there's like a school shooting season now. That's what we were just talking about in the car. I'm like, dude, as soon as the holidays come around, I feel like these kids start killing everybody. It's getting so crazy, The government's going to be like, all right, from fucking November to February, have at it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the purge. Yeah. It's the purge for schools.

Basically, yeah. It's like fucking, yeah. It's like deer hunting season. But that's the thing. It's like you really start to feel the craziness and anxiety of this world when you have a child. And it's like, I let my girl goes out every day into the world, into school. And it's like, if I sat and worried about that every second, I wouldn't be able to live because it's like I let my girl goes out every day into the world, into school, and it's like if I sat and worried about that every second,

I wouldn't be able to live because it's like – so it's like you just have to – I literally leave my house every day and I'm just like something could happen to me, my family, whatever, but you just have to go. It's almost like when you have no responsibilities, you can just be like – you get more nervous. It's like I was more nervous having no responsibilities because it was just narcissism thinking about myself.

Like, I don't want to go on a plane where now it's like, I have these responsibilities. It's like, look, I got to fucking,

I can't be a pussy, okay? Yeah. It's like being a narcissist, egotistical fuck. It's like, go out there, just try to live your life

and if shit happens, we have to deal with it. So you guys think the mafia, I think the mafia had a tie into it because listen, think of it like this, right?

You're a guy like Jack Ruby and you have this obviously huge financial backing thing called the Mafia. And then you go- Italian Mafia. Italian Mafia. In my case, called Patreon. Yeah, basically. Patreon.com.

Do you guys have a Patreon? We do have a Patreon. How many people does it have? I don't know. Like 1,700. Yeah. Okay, good. We just cracked 1,000.

All right. Yeah, so it's good. So we're not even close,000. All right. Yeah, so it's good. So we're not even close, but we're coming. Yeah, you guys are coming. You guys are coming. You'll be there. Yeah, patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. And what's your Patreon?

The Basement Yard. Patreon.com slash The Basement Yard. So join. We're giving you a two-for-one. Give us your money. Give us the money. But I come to you and I say, hey, Jack Ruby, we'll pay you so-and-so. We'll take care of your family.

Right. But maybe you walk up and let this guy take care of this guy. And who knows? There was rumors that this guy owed people money, Jack Ruby. There was rumors that he was a gambler. There was other rumors and all that shit like that. He said he was just a big JFK fan, which there were a lot of those fanatics. He was a very fanatical fan base. President.

Yeah, but it's like chicken or the egg thing. It's like, was he a fan and then the government found him? You know what I mean? That's what I'm saying. It could have been that. They were looking for the perfect guy and these two were the perfect guys. Yeah, and then it's one of those situations where all of this happened so cleanly that- The lituation?

The lituation. Can you say that now? Yeah, the fabulous one? Dly that... The lituation? The lituation. Can you say that now? Yeah, the fabulous one? Well, lituation. I want to use the right lingo for the fucking basement. Yeah, yeah. I don't fucking know. It's fucking woke.

Oh, sorry. It's straight lit. Straight lit. It's about to be a lituation. Yeah, absolutely. We love Casio Cortez. My favorite guy is the guy who was holding Lee Harvey. Yeah. Because that guy has total I'm getting fired face. Look at was holding Lee Harvey. Yeah.

Because that guy has total I'm getting fired face. Look at that hat, too. Yeah. That's how you know you're in tech. That guy's just like, he's just like, I really hope he doesn't do this. Yeah. It's funny. I like how he's not even afraid, though.

He's like, all right, just shoot him. Just do it. Just make sure you hit him. He looks like he's saying, like, girl. That was the era where every dude just had a fucking hat on. Yeah. Every guy had a hat. Love hats.

Yeah. In, like, the 20s, like, you were poor, but you had, like, a three-piece suit. Yeah. Easily. Yeah. It was like, look at this little poor kid in a suit. Get out of here. Throw bread at him.

Three-piece suit and a hat. Yeah. That's the look now. You know? Suspenders. Yeah. I just think everything went so swimmingly here that the president gets his fucking head blown off. Mm- blown off and now this guy

goes there says he didn't do it yeah and then as he's leaving gets clipped and then the guy jack ruby goes to jail keeps his mouth shut forever yanni thinks it was lyndon b johnson it could have been and maybe the reason why he was able to sneak in there was because everyone has the same fucking outfit on yeah how can you tell who's who everyone's like a blues brother everyone's guy exactly also like back then you could just lie about who you are it's like no i'm john smith they're like okay yeah there's no ticket yeah there's no credentials yeah it's not metal detectors yeah go ahead go and the thing that's crazy too is that ronald re Reagan got shot pretty fucking easily, too, years after this.

Yeah. I was like, hey, Ronald. Yeah. Pop, pop. He's like, oh, shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he shot him real close. Yeah.

How are these people getting close to the president? They're just white. Nobody suspects them. That's what I'm thinking. Yeah, that's what happens. He's white. He's unthreatened. Yeah, when you're white, you can just walk right up to stuff.

Sneaky fucking whites. Yeah. I mean, tell them what Alex Edelman just got you right back to meet the band. I mean, Alex Edelman, great comedian. I went to go see the 1975 with him this weekend, the band in Philly. And literally, we didn't even have tickets. And I mean, Alex just head held high, walked in the door and was like, I know the band. And they're like, OK, sir, we're sorry. And then we just got floor seats.

And Alex doesn't know anybody. That's awesome. Speaking of Ladder 14, my dad used to be a fireman, and he said that he... Wow. They left in Brooklyn, by the way. Does he think you're an FF with T at the end for doing microphone skits?

Obviously. Yeah. Big time. You do microphone skits. Ladder 14. Every time I talk to him, he's like, you get paid for that?

I'm like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good money. More than you made in a fucking 25 years running into Bernard Billings from mom's basement, you FF. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good money. Believe it or not, more than you made in a fucking 25 years running into Bernard Billings from mom's basement, you FF. Yeah.

Minus the PSD. Yeah. PTSD, by the way. PTSD. When you go home, I'm out here wearing fucking shmediums. So he...

When you go home and say, Grace, you got to go Trump 2020 at the end? I don't have to do that, actually. Is he a firefighter?

He's a Republican. A firefighter's a Republican. He's actually not a Republican. Wow. He's just a moron. He's not a Democrat either. He has no idea what's a Republican. He's actually not a Republican. Wow. He's just a moron. He's not a Democrat either. He has no idea what's going on. He just doesn't know where he is.

He doesn't know what year it is. He just sees a fire. He puts water on the fire. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's all. Yeah. That's a pretty good impression, too.

Yeah. I just see things on fire, and I put water. Put water on the fire. Put water on the fire. That's my job. I do the job. Yeah. I'm all about the job.

I'm all about the job. I can't get a sandwich. The job. But they left the firehouse or whatever, and he was job yeah i'm all about the job the job uh but he they left the firehouse or whatever and he was with two of his guys and they're all just like in like jeans boots and t-shirts and they walk up to this club and there's like a bunch of people dressed like fucking these guys over here and uh he just walks up to the front and it's the same kind of thing he just walks up and he goes to the bouncer he goes everything good yeah everything's good here

and the guy's like yeah he goes all right great and they walked in he's like i get upstairs he's like there's a bunch of butterflies and shit and i'm like what is this he goes to the bar he's like standing there he's like also mariah carey walks in it was her album release party that they just walked into and they just let him in and there's also another thing on the internet where it's like people will let you in anywhere if you're carrying a ladder and so people would just carry a ladder and walk up to like they snuck into the super bowl into the super bowl because they're like oh this guy's got a ladder he must know what he's doing yeah two guys just carry a ladder and walk up to like anything. They snuck into the Super Bowl. Into the Super Bowl. Because they're like, oh, this guy's got a ladder. He must know what he's doing.

Two guys just took a ladder and walked right into the Super Bowl. Dude, that's hilarious. Dude, that is foolproof. Think about that for a second. If I'm working any door and some dude with a ladder just walks up like he knows

he's supposed to be there, go fix it. Go fix it. You're right. You're right. Any venue. MSG, it's probably simple. Yeah.

If they're white, they don't need that ladder. White people always walk towards stuff, though. That is true. If something bad's happening, they will walk towards it. They want to know why it's happening. Confidently. What's going on here? The shots ringing out. They're like, what is this noise? The sign in restaurants should say,

restrooms for customers only and whites. That's what they used to. White people? They used to say that. That's what they used to. White people? Yeah. They used to say that. Water fountains too. Yeah. That's where Mike was on the other side of the wall.

Yeah. Imagine being so racist that you wouldn't let people swim with you. Yeah. That's what's insane. We just did a whole episode on Robert Moses, and that's what he would do. He fucking made the pools 10 degrees colder. That was fucking... That's a great beach though.

Insane. That's a great beach. Yeah. Great beach. It's a great beach, though. That's a great beach. It's a great beach. You gotta remember, it's so weird that so much stuff is named after these famously racist dudes now. It's like, yeah, I go to

Benjamin Franklin High School. Guy had 14 women pregnant. Guy would have sex with slaves. He died of syphilis. No slaves, though. Benny Frank had no slaves. No, no, no. That was Jefferson, right? Jefferson like second slaves. He died of syphilis. Yeah. I didn't go to the same high school. No slaves though. Benny Frank had no slaves. No, no, no, no, no. That was Jefferson, right? Jefferson had a few.

Jefferson was banging slaves, not Franklin. That's what it is. It was a different time. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. Like people want to fucking, you know, it's like, it's just whatever. Pick a controversy. It's just like whatever, whatever the woke kids say is fucking woke and they want to get mad at.

That's what everyone gets mad at. Well, slavery is a good one to get mad at. No, slavery is, but it's like. Yeah, I think that's when you get a pass. No, but slavery is a good one to get mad at, that's what everyone gets mad at. Well, slavery's a good one to get mad at. No, slavery is, but it's like... Yeah, I think that's when you get a pass. No, but slavery's a good one to get mad at,

but it's like we joke about like the Nazis. It's like, you know, the same people shitting on the Nazis will do it wearing a Hugo Boss suit, but there's no problem

with Hugo Boss even though they supplied the uniforms for him. It's real hypocrites. It's real hypocrites because they disagree with the Holocaust, but they do like the guy's

button down. Yeah, make no mistake. Yeah, Hitler had do like the guy's button down. Yeah. Make no mistake. Hitler had on Hugo Boss and fry boots marching through Poland. He did. I have Jewish friends that like the Holocaust. Well, they're like, wow, those are strange Jews. No, no, no.

Then you also have those people that don't believe the Holocaust ever happened. Mel Gibson. Mel Gibson. Yeah. But he'll be like, it never happened. Yeah. I don't know how somebody has a frame of mind for that. Well, they're trolls. That's a rare example of someone just saying something

I think to be contrarian. There's no way you believe the Holocaust doesn't exist. Video evidence of it. I think there are a good percentage of people who just want to be contrarian, but I also think a lot of people are just fucking stupid. Mel Gibson. Fucking stupid. Mel Gibson. Fucking stupid.

Mel Gibson's office rocker. Yeah. Those fucking voicemails were amazing. They're fucking stupid. You know, if you think the Holocaust didn't exist and you think the earth is flat and you think Trump's not going to get four more years, you got another thing coming in. Fucking stupid. The thing that's crazy, too, about Mel Gibson, too, is like, imagine getting so mad at your

significant other that you get racist. Yeah. On a voicemail. The thing that's crazy, too, about Mel Gibson, too, is imagine getting so mad at your significant other that you get racist on a voicemail. I'm like, dude, you can yell about... I totally understand that. What are you talking about? You could be way meaner just with yelling at her. It's like hoping they get gang raped. Even she was sitting there going, whoa, Jesus Christ.

I like Alec Baldwin, too, when he called his daughter. He was like, fucking bitch. But I mean... That dude was hyster mean, they went into an anger spiral. Like, Chrissy Blackout's over here. They just don't know what they're saying. And then all of a sudden, they just had a bunch of racist shit by accident. Yeah. But even Mel Gibson is back.

His career is back. He'll make movies, right? He's a silver fox. I'll be honest. Oh, yeah. Mel Gibson will get cracked. Yeah. I wouldn't say his career is back.

Not back, but, I mean, he's not banned from Hollywood. I think he still forgot. Is he banned? I know he like comes out of the Golden Globes every once in a while. So like him and Ricky

Gervais can say something stupid to each other. Yeah. It's like, yeah, I mean, his last movie was apparently really good, but no one went to go see it.

Yeah. What was it? What was it? I can't remember. Lethal Weapon 20 or whatever. Nobody cared. I love that he just

gets arrested and is just like, Jews. Yeah. But that voicemail Was one of the funniest It was just really fun It was Brutes Magoots Patriots is a good fucking movie Patriots is a great movie

Patriots is a great fucking movie Did you guys ever see that The Passion of the Christ Hacksaw Ridge Hacksaw Ridge That was after the controversies Yeah Hacksaw was amazing

Yeah That was an Andrew Garfield film though Yeah Fucking Spider-Man Look he's got movies coming out The Passion of the Christ sequel The Professor and the Madman How do you think about that

The Passion of the Christ sequel That's hilarious You thought Jesus was dead He comes back and this time he's fucking He comes back with a vengeance He comes back this time he's Muslim Passion of the Christ Judgment Day They made Two Weekend at Bernie's.

I don't see how that... Directed by M. Night Shyamalan. Daddy's home too. Daddy. Oh, he was good in that. I'd like to see a movie about Jesus in heaven. What does he do all day? When he gets there, let's fucking make it.

There you go. Passion of the Christ. Jesus is home. Yeah, Jesus is home. Dad, he's moving back in with his parents. Jesus moves back home this September. God's like, get out. You got to get a job.

He's like, come on, Dad. No, you were right. I turned all that water into wine already. Leave me alone. Yeah, come on. He was forgiven. Get the gringo machete killed. He's forgiven.

I mean, nobody cares. I've honestly never heard of any of those. This whole outrage is fake. You have Expendables 3? I think sex replaced is the beaver racism oh yes 2011 in hollywood but even that even that i mean obviously if you've committed a fucking crime but even even that even that let's talk about this like if bill cosby does his time and he still somehow lives should he be allowed to go back and do stand-up

if he's 140 yeah i think we all want to see him he's 95 years old and he's out If he's 140, yeah, I think we all want to see him. He's 95 years old and he's out. And he's served our society, has a prison system, and he's done his time. You know the answer, though. It's no. But I'm saying, should he? He won't be, but I think he should be. There's a difference between him and Mel Gibson. Mel Gibson said some wild shit.

I mean, this kid would drug women and have sex with them against their consent. That's rape. I understand it's rape, but I'm saying if he does his time, then what's the point of prison? No, you're right. You go through it, you do your time, and then what? Now you're always out? You just did your time. You just gotta move to another country and just start a new life. You just gotta move to Sweden.

Change your fucking name. Be a different person. Change your name. They talk about prison being a place for reform and you're supposed to be like whatever. Obviously that's not true. Anyone who's been to prison will tell you that. Even what you're saying. You don't even have to go to prison though for that to happen. If someone accuses you of rape

and it's dismissed, people are still going to be like this guy's a rapist. Like Michael Jackson. Yeah, that kid didn't do it. Innocent as hell. He was innocent. He got on top of that car did do it. All right. Everyone said he did stuff. Innocent as hell. He was innocent. He got on top of that car. Yeah.

Did one of those. Fucking in a little bit. Held his baby over the fucking... I love how America becomes so... Every couple of years, we'll pick one case that we all just love. Yeah. Yeah. And it was like...

One of the more recent ones was Casey Anthony. Right? Right. By R. Kelly. Well, R. Kelly, but Casey, Casey Anthony was like CNN everywhere. It's like the live verdict that's coming in of this fucking white trash party girl

that everyone wants to watch now. What'd she do? She drowned her kids in a tub? No, she fucking killed her kid and like went and partied that night. Yeah. And then like, didn't she come out with an anal?

Put a sticker on its head and like wrapped it up in a shoe box. She just announced that she wants to have more kids and people are like weighing in on that. Yeah, probably not. Yeah, probably not. You have a kid, but you can't have a bathtub. I think you can kill a kid.

Yeah, exactly. Get rid of the murder weapon. It's just weird that we all love this. It has to only be a showerhead. It's weird. The OJ case divided the entire country when it happened. Yeah, divided from white-black, you mean. Yes, yes.

And I think they did a good job of showing that in that show that they did on the show. But he, I can understand, because he's a huge celebrity. So I can understand. But Casey, you're right. That's just another girl in Florida. Yeah. You're like, that they did on the show. But he, I can understand because he's a huge celebrity. So I can understand. But Casey Anthony, you're right. That's just another girl in Florida. Yeah. You're like,

that's probably happening every year. Like someone's like, I had a baby, but fucking, you know. I don't want it. It's the white women that stay at home

and watch TV. They'd be like, have you heard about this? This girl killed her child. And she's gonna get off. If there was no 24-hour news channel, then that would have never

been a national news story if there was just the old, you know? Like, who's that Mexican girl that stabbed her boyfriend like 400 times? Something Arias? There's a lot of them. Let's ask our resident Mexican. Jodi Arias or whatever. Jodi Arias?

Like, who gives a shit about her? I don't even know what the fuck that is. They're making fucking Lifetime movies about this bitch now. I know. She's also hot. That's why. You know, if you wanted to get rid of your baby in Florida, all you'd have to do is feed it to a crocodile.

Yeah. It's very simple. And it's gone. Like that one do is feed it to a crocodile. Yeah. Very simple. And it's gone. Like that one family at Disneyland. Exactly. This girl killed her boyfriend for wanting to leave her. Really? Yeah.

Stabbed him like 55 times. She could stab me. Yeah. Ten years later. And then when kids go missing, we all love that shit too. Like JonBenet Ramsey. We're still making stuff. What was the other one?

Elizabeth Smart. Yeah. Well, she's going to be forgiven. Some guy's still going to date her. Amanda Knox, too. She probably already has a boyfriend. Someone dated Manson. With a swastika on his head.

Amanda Knox didn't do it, though. Amanda Knox didn't do it. She knew about it. Great documentary. I don't think so. She knew something about it. Which one was that? It's just sex party weird shit going on.

You're studying abroad. That's what it was. Blowing some lines. Somebody gets stabbed. You know about it. To your original point, though, we did forgive Mike Tyson. He went to prison and we let him out. Forgive. Yeah.

He's got a list, though. That's different. We feel bad for him already. But also, his story was also a little... He ate the girl's pussy and then he raped... That was the story. He didn't have a sore throat. That's not believable. But I mean that was the story and he didn't have a sore throat I mean he didn't have a sore throat yeah that's not believable

yeah but I mean how do you I mean I guess you can say check his throat yeah check his throat get an ENT in there he's got a sore throat

alright Tupac Shakur went to jail for rape yeah did he yeah I don't remember he did time yeah

but I remember Mike Tyson's story was like part of it was he ate her pussy and then it's all bullshit It's just you know It's just like whatever fucking the media It's all bullshit

Even like tying stuff in Like government killing people If the government killed JFK I feel like the government killed these guys too Why not Who cares if the government's watching We know you killed everybody Don't kill me I don't fucking care. I'm never going to say anything.

I'm too lazy. Yeah. I don't care. That's why. I don't care. But if your voice gets too loud, they're going to have to intervene with anyone. We'll never be that way. Yeah, they would have to. You know, like this guy was speaking to a bunch of people and like you get shot on the

Vegas strip and nobody knows anything about it. Well, that's a weird one. The thing about entertainment being so fractionalized now is It's like we can get big and make enough money to sustain our lives, but it's like only our fans know us. It doesn't matter. We'll never have a national platform

and that's great. It's safer. It's fucking great. It's safer. I can walk up and down the street with almost complete anonymity and make more money than someone

who was really famous in the 90s. You hear that, Nate Bargatze? Wow. That kid's pulling a a 250K a weekend. So when did your podcast get big, big, big? He told us, by the way.

He told us at the wedding. He had his fucking numbers up. Yeah. He dropped his wallet on you? Yeah, that's just what it is. He had a PowerPoint. Yeah. Kids tag.

He's out of his mind, actually. Charges people for meet and greet. What are you, crazy? Yeah, it's just what it is. He's doing his good mind actually Charges people for meat and grease What are you crazy? Yeah it's just what it is He's a good screwed in kid He's a screwed in kid He's making real money But you know I mean he's got

It's for Christian kids I mean you know He's clean It's not my cup of tea Yeah what are you doing? But he's a funny kid I mean he's funny as fuck But you know

He's on the Mount Rushmore He's on the Mount Rushmore comedy You know He's sober now But you know He gets one more level up He's gonna go back on the sauce and his life's going to get ruined.

That would be nice. Put that on our Patreon when that happens. That's low-cast. Do you think the mob had anything to do with this? I think... With Nate Bargatze. With Nate Bargatze? Yeah.

I think Lyndon B. Johnson had something to do with it. The vice president. Because he had the most to gain. Texas was his state. Apparently, JFK didn't want to even campaign in Texas, and Lyndon B. Johnson was the one being like, we got to campaign in Texas. I think it had a lot to do with how weak JFK was perceived to be

against communism. And the Cuban Missile Crisis, too. Right, exactly. Post-Cuban missile crisis and that was a big flop he was a catholic kid he was he was fucking everyone's wife yeah behind their back he's fucking ambassadors wives he would be long to be johnson's wife he fucked a mafia guy's wife i think the mafia was involved i think the police were involved i think it was just a coup of powerful people sat around and said we got to get rid of this fucking catholic kid

whose father is a bootlegger and a criminal in himself. Yeah. And they just offed him. And that was it. They put him in a triangle. You know, probably, that's like a real,

I read this book, it was like, that's the way you assassinate someone is like that triangle. Like there's three gunmen and they just explode. You're reading

How to Assassinate books? Yeah, no, I read it. It was whatever Oliver Stone says. Maurice wrote a piece on it. Yeah. Maurice wrote a piece on it. Yeah, Maurice wrote a piece on it. Book Depository, that's it. That's it.

That's it. That's right. You didn't have to kill him. Why you had to kill him? Just first of all, I would have taken him and we would have started a new life in the Philippines. And that's what could have happened. You didn't have to hurt people. He was cute too.

Why you did that? It's kind of weird how cursed that family is though. Like a new Kennedy dies like every four months. That could all be government shit too. Yeah.

Or more proof that they're following a false god, a Muhammad is the way to go. Kids are all Catholic kids. It's all wrong. And Allah takes them out.

Have you seen JFK the movie? The only real truth is Islam. Yeah, that's right. Did you ever see that movie, JFK with Kevin Costner? Absolutely. Oliver Stone. Down to the left. Yeah.

But there had to be more than one shooter. Yeah. Probably. There had to be, man. I mean, the kids up in the book depository. First of all, look at Harvey Oswald. I mean, he's a Franks and Beans looking kid. Yeah, he's a fucking pipsqueak. You think that kid can hit a moving target twice? kids up in the book depository. First of all, look at Harvey Oswald. He's a Franks and Beans looking kid.

Yeah, he's a fucking pipsqueak. You think that kid could hit a moving target twice? Yeah, there's no way. No, there's no way he did it.

The recoil from the gun would have sent that kid flying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But JFK's face got fucking exploded. I will say, whoever did this, what a shot.

It was a good shot. It was a great shot. I mean, the kid knows how to fucking... Do you think we'll ever find out who it was? If he was playing

Bob Hunter, he would crush him. Oh my God. Same thing with Jimmy Hoffa. Everyone that knows anything is dead. They're all dead. They're all dead now. I think P. Diddy did it. Yeah, he could have. He did. He did shit in the club. They had the shooting with J-Lo was there. A lot of people think

he had Tupac killed, too. So he could have done J-F. I wonder if there is film of it. I love how this dude was the first He had Tupac killed, too. So he could have done JFK. I wonder if there is film of it. Look at her scrambling. I love how this dude was like the first camcorder ever, and he's like, I'm going to break it out today.

Yeah. It's all probably, this was all part of the plan, too. That's what I'm saying. Dude, amazing that we could just watch this assassination on YouTube in slow-mo. Look at her going to get his fucking brain. Frame by frame. Look at that awesome can right there. Yeah.

That's pretty nice. That's my mother you're talking about. Jesus Christ. I mean, the fuck's my mother you're talking about. Jesus Christ. That's my mother you're talking about. Yeah, I mean, the woman's going to pick up her husband's brain. She's talking about her can. I mean. Kiyo!

Kiyo! Look at JFK. Looks like he's just taking a nap in that pic. Yeah, he looks like he's catching some rays. Yeah. Forever nap. He's trying to get a tan. Yeah, I mean, his face got exploded.

Which he didn't need. He was already a good looking guy. Yeah. This guy fucked anything with a pulse. He did. He did. There's a great book called The Dark Side of Camelot by Seymour Hersh about that. Big book guy.

You a big book guy? No, you a big book guy. I'm an audible guy. Yeah? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, this book is a good read. It's called The Dark Side of Camelot, and it's about that, how much.

He used to have hooker pool parties at the White House. That's awesome. When Jackie Onassis would go out of town, he would actually have have hooker pool parties at the White House. That's awesome. When Jackie Onassis would go out of town, he would actually have hookers and a party at the White House. And no writers wrote about it, and they all knew about it, because this was back in the day. He probably invited them. Exactly.

And this was back in the day where they were like, hey, that's got nothing to do with his job performance, and people just kind of didn't gossip like that. It's like, come get your dick sucked with us. Exactly. And then we'll write about it later. Absolutely. At a later time.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm telling you, man. I had no idea about hooker pool parties. Yeah. JFK, that's how wild he was. He was fucking some powerful ambassador's wife. He was fucking some powerful mafiosos. And I think they tell you this guy just put his dick in many places.

A true coxswain. Look at that. His cock probably got cut. Look at that explosion. Yeah. It looks like you dropped a watermelon off a building. Yeah. Is that real?

It is. That looks like Chrissy's rope. That's the... That looks like your rope watermelon off a building. Yeah. Is that real? It is. That looks like Chrissy's rope. That looks like your rope when you were bleeding. Yeah. Can we look up the chicks that he was banging? Can we look up JFK's chicks he was banging? Yeah, his kill list. Yeah, let's get the roster up.

Yeah, let's get his. I think Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis was having an affair with the vice president or something. They're all fucking. Her name wasn't Onassis yet. She married Onassis after that. Jacqueline Kennedy, sorry. The Greek shipping. I love how old Italians all love him, though.

He was the greatest ever. Because he's Catholic. Because he was Catholic. Marilyn Monroe got cracked. Oh, my God. She got cracked by both Robert and John. Es lo que es. She's a fucking piece.

She had no fumata. She's a piece with makeup, but then you see her without, and you're like, she's eh. You would have fucked. I mean, she's a fucking piece. She had no fumada. She's a piece with like makeup, but then you see her without and you're like, she's eh. You would've fucked. Yeah,

I would've fucked. Judith Exner, Monica Hall. Who's this lady? Who is this? Was this the mob girl? Yeah, who's she?

Mob mole. That's some mob girlfriend. It could be better. Yeah. I'd put that number like seven on this list. Yeah, there it is.

So this is, this is the mob one? Yeah, Chicago mob boss, Sam Giacana's girlfriend got cracked by him. See what I'm saying? Yeah. There's a lot of things pointing to him getting clapped.

And that dick got him killed, man. It did, man. He fucked a spy? Yeah. Inga Arvad. I'm here to spy on you, but I must suck your dick first. Yes. A lot of vagina.

She's a long time. A lot of vagina. She was a Soviet spy I mean the kid Why don't you just Suck my dick right here Let's see some more Yeah I mean the kid Was really

Anita Eichberg Will get fucking cracked Yeah Whoa Those tits just kept going As you were scrolling It was crazy Anita fat titties

Ellen Ramshish Call girl She was a toot Come here sweetheart She was a toot Jean here sweetheart She was a toot Gene Tierney Actress Cracked

Beautiful Mimi Alford Oh he had an intern too No one talks about Mimi Yeah I can't play intern too Tell them Mike 19 year old Lost to Virginia

To the president Wow That's a hot way to start I would never fuck Anybody else in my life I'd just be like yo Fuck JFK The president came in me

Yeah That's crazy Fucking lady Lost to Virginia yo, the president came in me. Yeah. That's crazy. This fucking lady lost to Virginia. She's fucking the president. She revealed the details of her resume, including that JFK took recreational drugs with her. I'm going to take your virginity right now. They were yipped up. Let me take your V-card.

Come here. Come to Martha's Vineyard. Yeah, she could be making it up. Oh, and she made him give him a blow to a special assistant, Dave Powers. Suck Dave Powers. Dare her to perform at the pool party. Dude, that's fucking... Yo, JFK.

He looked at the pool. He dared her? He dared her. I dare you to suck Dave's dick right now, please. I love how she disclosed that. I love that. That became like robot JFK. I dare you.

I dare you to suck his cock. Marlene Dietrich. That's it. Marlene Dietrich. That's it. Marlene Dietrich. She's a famous actress. She was German. German? Yeah.

Scheisse. Yes. And she banged out his father. Yeah. Whoa. Dude, just take a second. Look at how many... He banged two bitches named Fiddle Faddle?

And he's banging... Fiddle and... Okay, what is that? Oh, Fiddle and Faddle. Wait, go up one. Oh, those nicknames, they better be. Look, he's banging powerful people's fucking wives, man. Fiddle and Okay what is that Oh fiddle and faddle Wait go up one Go up one Oh those nicknames

They better be Look he's banging Like powerful people's Fucking wives man Like a CIA agent He's wild this kid Yeah they didn't love him No

She was shot Oh wait wait Did you see that She was killed It has been claimed That she was murdered To prevent her revealing The details of their affair

Yeah Wow Wow Yeah That's lucky ass So we got Jill Cowan, the secretary. Presidential dick

gets you in trouble. Yeah. Kevin Wiles, whose primary role was to skinny dip with the president in the enclosed pool. They were brought up

on business ships to Berlin, Rome, Ireland, and Costa Rica. Tour of the White House. If you're JFK, if you're cracking all these girls, there's no way

you're not cracking the thing. Wow. Look, she knew. Jackie said, she goes, this is the girl who is supposedly sleeping with my husband.

This kid's going to crack Whatever's closest to him Yeah Everybody's getting cracked Yes Secretaries I feel like I feel like I'm not I don't think I'm above

Getting cracked by the president To be honest with you No Absolutely Is that it? That's all they have Yeah he's probably Cracked a lot more

Yeah those are just The ones we know about So when's the Basement yard movie Coming out? The movie? Yeah Oh yeah it's in production right now.

We're shopping it right now. We've got the script going. We've got a pilot. So we heard Big Studio signed on. Big Studio signed on. Weinstein Group. We're talking to Weinstein. There's some turbulence back there. Do you guys ever have guesties on your potty, Wani?

Huh, cuzzy wuzzies? Yeah! there but do you guys ever have guesties on your potty waddy huh cuz he was he's sometimes it just catches me off guard thank you thank you the potty waddy is so you guys ever have guesties on your potty waddy we haven't had uh guests in a very long time but we should do we should be guesties or we should do a mashup podcast with them yeah a live show live we're doing live mashup podcasts where we're going to just, we get, you get, we have your fans, you have our fans,

and we just fucking mash it up and we do a potty wotty live. We're doing one with- Not for Carolance because Lewis is a tyrant. Yeah, not Lewis. We love you, Lewis. We're going to do Lewis is a tyrant

in the dillies because he's a sauce monkey. Yeah. Screwed in. Nice. We're doing one with Joe List and Mark Norman Tuesdays with Stories.

We're doing, that's the first one we're going to do But if you guys ever want to do a live mashup Where we do a live podcast Come guest on ours, we'll guest on yours We'll both release them, it'll be fun Only if we do the whole Everyone fingers each other's asshole

While we do it Like the human centipede I need that in writing I'm going to put that on my rider And if you guys do the basement yard podcast in writing. I need that in writing. We'll put that in writing. I'm going to put that on my rider for the green room. Hey, sign it in blood. Yeah, and if you guys do the Basement Yard podcast,

the movie, let us play you. There you go. Yeah, Chris can play you and I'll play you. Like Bill and Ted. Like Bill and Ted's

Excellent Adventure where they're just evil versions of themselves. Exactly what I had in mind. That's a great idea though because if you did it, just have old people play younger versions of yourself.

That shit is just funny to me. Yeah. All right, Yanni, well, you probably have 10 parking tickets Because you didn't re-up your meter So it's just what it is

I hate to remind him But he didn't re-up the meter And he's got a parking ticket You drive? I drive He drives too He lives in Queens But he has to drive

I gotta drive sometimes How'd you get here today? Oops Yeah fucking Ooby Snooby I like to take snoobers Once in a while Do you drive?

I drive as well yeah But my car had to get inspected I got 9 parking tickets From Thursday to Sunday morning True story How do you do that? What do you mean? You just don't

You don't like the law Well, no Because I didn't get my car inspected And I kept getting tickets for that And then I like pulled over And there's no parking zone I got a fucking red light ticket It was just a bad week

It's very Ginzo of you Yeah, I just Ginzo I just fucking pay it I mean, who cares? I just give the money You know, I pay it off It's a tip to the city You know, it's what it is I mean, my tax dollars That's a billion dollar of you. Yeah, it's just Ginzo. I just fucking pay it. I mean, who cares? I just give the money. I pay it off. It's a tip to the city. You know, it's what it is.

I mean, my tax dollars. That's a billion dollar racket right there. Oh, God. Especially the alternate side of the street parking. That's my favorite. When they come, they just push the leaves around. That's what I'm saying. We're not cleaning anything.

No, it's crazy. It's just a little gift to the city. It's like, move your car to the other side so we can bring the cigarettes from here over to the... Onto the yellow line. That's all we want. Okay? We want to put the cigarettes in the middle. We're going move your car to the other side so we can bring the cigarettes from here over to the... Onto the yellow line. That's all we want. We want to put the cigarettes in the middle

so the homeless people can come and pick up the longest ones. Our congressmen and women have got to take vacations so we'll just... They'll fucking Tuesday and Thursday

alternate side parking. I love how Trump plays golf like every other day. Yeah. Big golf guy. If they were really clean in the street, they could do that

once a month. They don't have to do it I mean how dirty does the street get once a week How come Long Island doesn't have it They got 8 million people that live on Long Island They don't have any fucking park They don't have street sweepers Just don't keep fucking out of Mali

How about that Don't throw your fucking wings on the floor Yeah We also ran into these three homeless men outside And they were going through the trash can. And I found it very funny that another one looked at the other one and called him a retard. Yeah. Yeah.

I was like, that's kind of an oxymoron here. What are we talking about here? Yeah, well, you know. He's like, come on, you retard. I was like, these guys are like the three stooges of homeless people. Yeah. It's funny that even homeless people have a hierarchy. Yeah, Jesus.

Here's our boss. Yeah. This guy's in charge. There have a hierarchy. Yeah, Jesus. Here's our boss. Yeah. This guy's in charge. There's a bum king of New York. He makes more not money than I do. What? He's the one with matching shoes. Yeah.

He's like, this guy makes 30. Was it you who I was talking to about how it's Skid Row? A bum hierarchy? Yeah, and Skid Row, they have games and queens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a documentary on Skid Row where there's a leader of Skid Row. Really? Yeah. He's like the high up homeless guy.

We got to get him on the podcast. Yeah. We got to get him on the podcast. He goes from tent to tent taking whatever he wants from people. He's like a fucking prisoner. He's like the mafia. He's like, yeah, he's- He's putting out hits.

You think there's a gay mafia? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, of course. There has to be, right? It's called Hollywood. Yeah. Can I get a fucking Wei Zhong Jing for that, please? Wei Zhong Jing.

Hollywood still can't do that. Not yet. Can't do that. You can't. What are you guys talking about on yours? You just flow? The Me Too movement. The whole podcast is about the Me Too movement.

I just love, though, even the Me Too movement, even that cooled off. We were talking about, think about how many people were on the edge and they were like, oh God, thank God. They didn't get me. You know, their publicists were calling them just like,

hey listen, some shit might go down next couple days. Hopefully this thing cools off. I haven't seen hashtag me too in months. It's almost like they're in their bunkers

and you see them just kind of coming out looking around. Like, all right, cool. We made it. How did DiCaprio not get me too? That guy's been throwing cock around the city since he was 15 years old.

He's probably throwing consensual cock around the city. I don't know, man. I'd fuck the dude if he pulled out his dick on me. And NDAs. You're going to suck this dick. You can't tell anyone. You've got to do paperwork first. Before you do, a couple things you got to sign.

Him, David Blaine, and Toby McGuire used to just run around the city just dumping on everything. I can't even picture Toby McGuire fucking one person. Yeah, because he's just, yeah. Yeah, it's funny. He's too boyish. That's Leo's boy. They were like, they brought up. I mean, yeah, that's why.

If you're Leonardo DiCaprio and this guy, the president's telling people to suck Dave Power's dick, Leo's telling people to suck Toby's. You wouldn't give Spider-Man a handjob. Yeah. No, but in that crew, he gets a trickle-down puss in that crew. A hundred percent. David Blaine's over there making shit disappear.

Like, I'm sucking. I'm sucking. And Leo's just, like, moving people with his hands. Just going, like, bring this one. With, like, a Michigan hat. And Leo's just moving people with his hands. Just going like, bring this one. With a Michigan hat on. But he's not even lifting his hands.

His fingers just move very slightly. Just a little nod and women are coming like, please pick me. He barely talks also. Leonardo DiCaprio barely talks,

but he gets the point across somehow. That's what he does. He's got fucking charisma. He does. He's probably number one. I would say if you did the top dude. Like of Coxman? Yeah. It's got fucking charisma. He does. He's probably number one. I would say if you did the top dude.

Like of Coxman? Yeah, it's got to be Leo. Leo's top. Leo's up there. Dude, he rents yachts and just has like 50 women on it. And he's like, I'm just going to come and all you. Yeah, that's what it is. Leo's like, I don't think anyone's even close.

Yeah. Think about what your life is like. Forget the movies. Obviously, that's why he's famous and the money and all that. But just being like, yeah, I could have 50 supermodels on a boat in, like, an hour. Yeah. What do we feel like doing today? I think that would ruin it, though.

I feel like just having that power, eventually, you're just like, I'm not impressed by it. Yeah. I'm going to do this. And then what impresses me? Well, that's why John Travolta started banging guys. Yeah, he started hand-jobbing masseuses. That's why these Hollywood elites start going fucking pedophile rings because they're over it. It's too easy. They're over women. Dip candle wax. Like, drip candle wax all over me. Yeah, he started hand-jobbing masseuses. That's why these Hollywood elites start going fucking pedophile rings because they're over it. It's too easy.

They're over women. Dip candle wax, like drip candle wax all over me. Yeah. Get some pain. Get some blood in here. I gave John Travolta the benefit of the doubt. Then I saw hairspray, and I said, you know what? He's a gay kid.

It's a gay man. It's a gay man. Yeah, he's got some gay vibe about him. But there's no way that Magic Johnson and Isaiah Thomas, like when you get that amount, you're just going to end up coming around the other side to gay. You think Magic got HIV from fucking the mans? I don't know who he got it from,

but those two kids definitely were banging dudes. Because it got to a point where Isaiah and him, they were getting so much puss that it's just too easy. There's no... Well, Mick Jagger did that too. He fucks some butt. Yeah, he looks like a... David Bowie, apparently. David Bowie,... Well, Mick Jagger did that too. He fucks some butt. Yeah, he looks like a... David Bowie, apparently.

David Bowie, I get. Mick Jagger, I get too. Yeah, but Mick Jagger was like a womanizer. That's what I'm saying. It's like, I'm going to fucking... And then he starts banging guys? Yeah, because you just get so... The women come so easy that you just...

Freddie Mercury had a wife. Elton John too, I think. Yeah, but that was a beard. Yeah, it was. Yeah, that kid wanted... I watched a YouTube video. Freddie Mercury, he sings like he's crying for dick. Yeah, it was. Yeah, that kid wanted dick. I watched a YouTube video. Freddie Mercury, he sings like he's crying for dick. Yeah, he did.

He's just passionate. As a matter of fact, that's a new nickname, Johnny. And it works. Freddie Mercury. Huh? That's your new nickname, Freddie Mercury. He's got a beard of a wife. Yeah.

You know, Freddie Mercury, he was such a good singer, he kept his teeth the way they were because he thought it helped his singing. Yeah. What does that mean? What does that mean? Yeah. Oh, like his teeth the way they were because he thought it helped his singing. Yeah. What does that even mean? Yeah. Oh, like his teeth were like... It probably did. It changed the sound.

They were popping out of his mouth. He smoked cigarettes like crazy, too. He's like, I'm still just going to have this amazing voice. Yeah. Yeah, fuck it. I mean, if you're going down, you're going down. Yeah. All right, boys.

Fucking basement yard. Where can people find you? Where can they find your potty waddy? The potty waddy is on anywhere you can find podcasts or on YouTube, youtube.com slash thebasementyard and Instagram at thebasementyard as well. Yep. And you can follow both you guys at where individually? At Danny Lopriore on Instagram and Twitter.

Yeah, and at Joe Santagato on whatever. Yeah, at Christy Comedy. That's at Giannis Pappas. We're going to have Basement Yard. We're going to be on their podcast soon. And we're going to sleep at their house. And in the movie. Yeah, we're going to have Basement Yard. We're going to be on their podcast soon. In the movie. And in the movie. Yeah, we're going to have a big slumber party.

We should do a fucking sleepover. We should do a blanket fort. We should do a fucking sleepover. We're going to do a podcast inside of a blanket fort. Yeah, in the love sack. Yeah, live on Twitch. Live on Twitch. Yeah, we got to get our Twitch numbers up.

We're going to Periscope it. Yeah, go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys or patreon.com slash The Basement Yard. Join our patrons. It's the future. Yeah, we at least put one of the clips and you guys swipe up stories. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we'll take care of it. That's all we care about.

Give me all the clips. Give me a fucking, yeah. The thing I respect is that you guys came straight forward with it. You're like, hey, guys. Chrissy started the podcast with it. Yeah, it's just like, listen, we fucking love you guys, but you have big numbers. I like that, though, because a lot of people are just like, yeah, you know, just do it. You're like, hey guys. Chrissy started the podcast with it. Yeah, it's just like, listen, I fucking love you guys, but you have big numbers. I like that though,

because a lot of people are just like, yeah, you know, just do whatever you want. Go for it. Yeah, whatever you want. It's like, yeah, they act interested. It's like, listen guys, just tell a few stories. We need clicks.

All right, let's go. I got to go. I got to go. Take my Pervitin. I had to you you