History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - American Propaganda: How Freud's nephew brainwashed America | History Hyenas
Episode Date: September 11, 2025The Hyenas sink their teeth into the “Father of Public Relations,” Edward Bernays—a man who figured out how to sell bacon, cigarettes, and even wars by hacking the human mind. From Freud’s nep...hew to America’s puppet master, Bernays turned psychology into marketing and propaganda into PR. Yanni and Chrissy break down his wild schemes, from convincing women to smoke “torches of freedom” to engineering coups with ad campaigns. It’s the story of how one man rewired democracy with a billboard. History gets hyena’d! Support our sponsors: To explore coverage, visit https://ASPCApetinsurance.com/HYENAS Go to https://GetSoul.com and use the code HISTORYHYENAS. #comedy #Podcast #History Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas/ Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit.ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0 Follow us Cuz! 🙆🏻♂️ Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ 🙆🏼♂️ Chris Distefano Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ 🐕More Hyenas Website: www.historyhyenasisback.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/historyhyenas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HistoryHyenas Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/historyhyenaspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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baby we have a great episode for you about edward bernays the father of public relations was he a devil
was he a good guy i don't know come see me thursday september 11 theater at madison square garden and then
september 27th in saudi arabia go to christie comedy dot com for tickie wikis or history hyenas is back
dot com you could see me in miami september 11 12 13th baker's field california october 3rd and 4th
Toronto, October 18th, Tulsa after that in October.
Enjoy this episode.
It's going to be a good one.
Just to know if you're eating bacon and smoking a cigarette, you got manipulated.
What's up everybody? Welcome to another episode of the history hyenas. I'm Chris DiStefano,
aka Chrissy Avocado, no Feta. With me as always, Janis Pappas, aka Yanni's looking cute.
So are you. You're looking very cute and you're ready for the fall. You can't wait until it gets to the
the weather that your ancestors like,
which is a little,
little cloudy and a little cool.
A little cloudy, a little cool.
I was in Chicago this weekend.
It was 60 degrees and it was nice.
And I got to be honest with you.
I woke up every two hours with gas.
So I'm a little sleeping.
You have gas because you may be overdoing it with the husk.
Like me, I haven't shit in a week now.
Yeah, it's just what it is.
Because they call me Elon Husk.
I just don't know who to believe when I ask what is the proper dosage of Husk because Robert Kennedy
Jr. has me question in everything right now. Because I just throw a little bit in a cup. I drink it
with a little bit of water. Sometimes it's a tablespoon. Sometimes it's a teaspoon. Sometimes it's a fortfall. I don't
know. Well, what I'm doing right now is I'm creating an anti-vaccine company. So whatever vaccines
you or your baby's got, my company, we have reverse vaccines. Nice. So it's a nice new thing.
I want you all to check it out. On my website, Janus Pappascom.com. I'm working with some doctors.
doctors. They got lab coats. It's headed up by Dr. Drew. And what we're going to do is we're going
to give you negative vaccines. So whatever vaccine you got, it will reverse it. And then in turn,
your autism will be cured. Because, I mean, here's the thing is I went off the beam this weekend
eating. I went, I started eating Italian food, pasta. I started eating pizza. And then I blacked this
apple. When I got in my car this morning, there were two Carvel anchors in my cup holders that I
forgot that I ate in the parking lot of Carvel at a Saturday. I landed at LaGuardia, Saturday
at 10 a.m. And then I stopped at the Carvel by my house and ate two Carvel anchors in the
parking lot before I would hate. I got one thing to say. Yeah. Not that bad. As long as it's not
a priest, the blackout's not as bad. Well, if you got a pain over the pain with a little chocolate
Carvel, so be it. Well, I don't know, because there were some rosary beads in the Carvel Lange.
So maybe it was a two for one? Yeah. Yeah. Maybe it was a date with a priest. Yeah. It's
what it is because you were set in motion by the prime mover and that prom mover was father bill
father bill now that's a throwback to the last episode now cuz here's the thing you and i met at a
we just want to quickly before we get we have an amazing episode today about edward bernets and we're
going to tell you the reason you ate bacon and how we're all being manipulated every moment of the
day and this guy uh is the father of it some people say Satan some people say he's the man i don't know
but we were in a cafe um just a couple blocks from the studio and to the two girls uh who we
saw we just want to apologize for yelling out you're going to get cleaned and spraying fabuloso and
trying to rub down your back with wet napkins we're sorry that we did that so please don't sue us but
you just had to get cleaned and we had to clean we went in the back and we got the cleaning products
and we cleaned you we're a couple of married guys so all we were doing is just doing a little sunbathing
that's it because explain what sunbathing is now sunbathing is when you just enjoy the sun you're
bathing in the light of sweet sweet poos-puss yes you're just taking a peek but much like
the sun you don't stare directly at it it's too powerful you just bathe in his glory you just take a
peek you stroll and you consume the views that's all it is because we were saying how being married men
this is great because we can just take a look and we can just we're sunbathing we're not actually
looking into the sun we're not taking our glasses off and walking towards the sun we cannot do that
so what we do so this way because if not it's too out of control if you're single and free out
there it's too out of control you want to talk to every single woman that walks by it's too
intoxicating. So it's nice to just be in a cage. Yeah. And it's nice to just say, I'm just going to go do a
little sunbathing. I'm going to take a little. What I'm going to do is I'm going to look at a woman,
a beautiful woman in the cafe. I'm going to take her in. I'm going to sunbathe. I might give a little
sniff if I'm close enough. Take a little sunbathe, a little sniff. And then you go back. What you do is
you do what we as good husbands do. We go back and then to our wives and we, and we are good
husbands and then when we eventually get to have sex with our wives, which is maybe, you know,
at the end of this calendar year or next year, we'll just think about those girls as we're having
sex with our wife because you don't control the empire in between my ears, which is my brain.
That is for me.
That's for you.
Yeah.
That's your palace.
That's your heaven or hell.
Yeah.
That's where the beam resides.
Yes.
If you see me walking behind you and I start taking my clothes off down to a bathing suit,
I'm just sunbathing.
That's all it is.
I'm just following your rays.
Yeah.
I'm basking in your warmth.
I'm taking a little sun.
Yeah, and if you ever see me and you say, oh, Chris, did you stop comedy?
You're a custodian now.
Why do you have all these cleaning products around you?
It's just because there's hot women in the area.
Yeah.
If you see me and Chrissy walking around, we've got a tool belt on, and that tool belt is filled with Fabuloso, Windex, and other cleaning products, and we walk up the girls and we just give them a little sprits.
It just means, hey, babe, I want to clean you.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
If I do a little sprits and then Chrissy comes with a sponge and starts wiping her down, we're just cleaning.
If you ever see me walking by you and you say, oh, is that Robert Downey Jr.,
from Tropic Thunder, it looks a lot like Chrissy D, just know that I was just around a ton of
hot women and I just caught so much sun that I had to go into Blackface.
You know what? I love this podcast. You know why I really love it? It's a confusing place out
there. People are overwhelmed. People are tired. They just have fatigue. Everyone is out there
just pulling strings, manipulating them, trying to get them to believe this, that, the other thing.
And you just come here and you get to just be yourself, be silly, be the person you were born.
Yeah.
Don't be the person that was made.
You're the little child.
You're a little kid.
You're the innocent little baby Jesus.
Before the world got a hold of you, before Edward Bernays and his methods got into, their hooks into your brain, this is who you get to be when you come listen to us.
We're just here to have a silly, willy time.
That's all it is.
And that's why with this world that we live in, where if you make one mistake, say one bad thing, especially on the internet, your whole life can be over.
That's why we encourage you go to patreon.com slash history hyenas and do what we do.
We say whatever we want on the Patreon and you, as the listener, can say and do whatever you want in the Patreon.
That's why you're paying five bucks or ten bucks a month to be free again because we don't live in as free of a world as we used to.
But patreon.com slash history hyenas, that's where the real freedom is, baby.
That's where the freedom torches are.
We live in a distraction, attention economy dictated by a Chinese algorithm, a for you algorithm based on interest that hooks you like a dopamine junkie.
Exactly. And the Chinese won.
They won. That's why I said the other day that iPhones are just Chinese finger traps.
Yeah, that's what they are.
Yeah, it's just about trending searches.
You can do any sensationalist comment.
As long as it's about something that's bigger than you or trending, you'll get the attention.
That's why you see extremists everywhere.
I know it's exhausting everybody.
So just come over to our podcast, take a deep breath, box breathe, and ask yourself.
Am I a cute kid?
Yes.
The answer is yes, because the way you should see.
yourself is the way your mom sees you. And it's often a lie. It's what it is. Your mom says you're the
greatest, but she's lying. She's, yeah. But who's to say what the truth is? Edward Bernays sure
wouldn't. Listen, Edward Bernays, if you don't know who this is, just know that the term public
relation PR, he coined it, okay? He is the father of modern day public relations, PR, and
propaganda. The word propaganda is really only got a negative connotation because of the Nazis,
because of Joseph Goebbels, the propaganda, which I call the real father of PR,
Weiss-on-Scian.
Well, you could say
Edward Bernays
crawled.
Right.
So Goebbels could walk.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Goebbels actually was a big fan of Bernays.
There was just one thing he wasn't a fan of.
Yeah.
That's his background.
Yeah.
It's just what it is.
But he did consume his books and he liked his work.
He just,
and he was once quoted as saying,
we use the Jews tricks against the Jews.
Yeah.
It's just what he said.
Just what he said.
Paraphrase. So Edward Bernays, who he is, we're going to talk all about a modern-day father of PR.
What's very interesting about Edward Bernays is he had a very famous uncle. Do you know whose famous uncle was?
Was it Phil? Yeah. No.
It wasn't, Philip?
Edward Bernays's uncle and he was actually a double nephew.
Oh, I thought you meant that he was the Fresh Prince of Bel-Land.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. One time I called my mom when I was a little kid and I just,
told her that Uncle Phil
from Fresh Prince Bel Air died and it was
just a prank and she got so
upset me when she found that it wasn't true.
Because she just, she went and, you know she went and lit a candle.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We got a little candle
for him. And because I used to go to my Aunt Eileen's
house until my mom got home from work.
Which is basically your house just downstairs.
Just downstairs. Yeah. And so,
but it was two houses in one and she
separated by a new staircase. And I remember
my mom getting upset with me.
As soon as she came in, she put down her bags
from Stopper Chopper. She had pizza from Joe and Johns
and her face was always a little cold, and she said to me, she's like, why did you lie to me?
You said that Uncle Phil from Fresh Prince had died, and you made that up.
I was like, sorry, he was just doing a little prank.
And then I, and I leaned on there for smoking a cigarette.
She went, Lynn, he's disturbed.
He's just a disturbed kid.
He's disturbed.
Christopher, you're disturbed.
Disturred, and I would always walk upstairs with a half-eaten thing of saltine crackers in Arizona Ice State.
And then she said, Christopher, get out of my house.
Now, my question to you is on what step were you out of her house?
Yeah, that's a good point
Because is it the fifth step?
How many steps were there?
There was 14 steps between the bottom and the top.
So I guess the seventh step.
Well, we had in my apartment, we had a, I'm sorry, in my staircase, there was a skylight that my uncle put in.
So maybe when you started to see the light of the skylight, you were out.
You were out of the darkness of downstairs and into the light of upstairs.
So once you got on to like the ninth step, you could turn around and just be like, you can still hear me, but I'm not in your house.
I'm in my house.
I'm safe here.
I'm safe here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And if you come up any further up the stairs, my mom will throw a half-polished-off bottle, white's infidel at your head.
But do you know who his uncle was?
Do you know Edward Bernays his uncle was?
This is true.
And this is like, Sigmund Freud?
Sigmund Freud.
That's who it was.
Sigmund Freud.
Now, Sigmund Freud kind of taught Edward Bernays all the ways of kind of psychological.
you know, not even manipulation, just psychology.
And what Edward Bernay saw is during wartime, it was the term was propaganda, right?
And how they needed to use the United States and Sigmund Freud and everybody needed to use propaganda during World War I to get masses of people to do what they wanted, you know, for the war effort.
But Edward Bernay said, oh, if it can work during wartime, it can probably work even better during peacetime.
And the term propaganda got a negative connotation because of Joseph Goebbels and the Nazis.
he just conveniently, Edward Bernays just conveniently changed the word propaganda to public relations.
But when you hear today, your PR agent is just a propagandist Nazi like Joseph Goebbot.
Edward Bernays, not talked about enough.
The father of PR, he loved that term.
Oh, yeah.
He was an interesting guy who liked not getting the credit.
He thought the message should get the credit because, but he felt very ego.
He had, he was, he had, his ego was very tied to how good his work was.
Well, the part that he had right is he did not want to be famous.
wanted to be in the background and just make the money.
So that's good. But then on the other side, he kind of did want to be famous because he did
make public appearances. He did write books.
Right. Yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada.
Yeah. Um, but he is an interesting guy that was Sigmund Freud's nephew, was
close to Sigmund Freud, would go back in summers in Vienna, was born in Vienna, but emigrated
to New York, ended up getting an apartment on the Upper East Side with his family and then moved to
Long Island where he learned how to be a criminal.
It's just what it is.
The kid grew up in Long Island.
His dad was a merchant, made a lot of money, so he grew up rich.
But he was a guy that really admired his uncle.
He actually carried a picture of his uncle in his wallet.
Sigmund Freud.
Yeah, no, Edward Berners.
Oh, Edward Bernays carried a picture of his uncle, Sigmund Freud.
He had a picture in his wallet of Sigmund Freud and his daughter, Anna.
His daughter, Anna, was not a fan and wrote a book about him that was kind of telling,
called him a control freak and all that.
But if you go to his background,
to start it. He admired Sigmund Freud. He consumed all those books and was heavily influenced
by Sigmund Freud took those methods and put them into the marketplace. Put them into the marketplace.
And even furthermore, Edward Bernays's ideas that he wrote between the 1920s and the late
1930s, Joseph Goebbels of the top propagandist chief of the Nazis, it's no debating. He said it
publicly, I took Edward Bernays's book and I applied it to the propaganda of the Nazis. So that's
just what it was. He was just a big fan, like I said. He was a big fan of the work. He was a big fan
of the message, not the messenger. So let me, and also, and we'll explain everything about Edward
Bernays, but something interesting to that happens is, you know, even the reason we even know
about Sigmund Freud and the level that we know about him is because of Edward Bernays, because
at the end, Sigmund Freud's, he lost his whole fortune during the Great Depression.
Blew it up his nose. Yeah, blew it up his nose and he lost everything. He lost all his savings.
he needed a way to make money. So Edward Bernays was able to, through public relations,
he started getting Sigmund Freud's books sold in a major way and what he did, which is still
being done today, which is what, again, only when I got into the career of entertainment did
I realize how much I was being manipulated by entertainment my whole life. What Bernays did back
in 1930 something, which again, still done today all the time, is he made Sigmund Freud's books
controversial. He made them controversial in an effort for you to start talking about and buy them.
Just like Sidney-Perfect example last month, the jeans controversy. How could American Eagle do that?
They, of course, it was on purpose. They knew that people were going to get upset. So that's my thing
that you constantly see is whether you're angry at the left or the right, whether you're angry
at the jeans or not, you're being manipulated constantly. Constantly you're being manipulated.
The interesting, the really interesting thing to me about Edward Bernays, the thing that's
most salient about his story.
Salient's a good word.
It's a good word.
I like to put salient drops in my eyes when they get dry.
That's where they go, is that it really is a real world case study about how right
Sigmund Freud was about the unconscious, that we're all driven by these unconscious desires.
I mean, it's just, it's the biggest case study ever done.
It's a whole country, a whole world where Edward Brunay said, this is how my uncle said the human psyche functions.
Let me take that and implement that into the real world for dollar signs and for power.
And it works.
It worked every way.
The reason why we eat bacon at breakfast, the reason why we smoked cigarettes.
The list goes on and on and on and on for how he used cognitive.
biases that he learned from his uncle, unconscious drives, sexuality, latent violence,
all the things.
We're all just drooling babies.
It's just what it is.
And he capitalized on that.
Yes, because what they, Sigmund Freud referred to this as the engineering of consent.
Basically, he said, all you have to do is manipulate large groups of people to consent to a
thing.
So Edward Bernays did not look at, he never thought about one person.
and he only thought about people in groups.
He never, ever, ever.
And his favorite cognitive bias was the, was the herd.
The herd.
And he constantly, according to, you'll follow the group.
Yeah.
He constantly called everyone stupid.
The herd was stupid.
His kids were stupid.
His second, everybody was just stupid idiots.
But he was constantly able.
But his thought process was rather than be like, oh, these people are so stupid and I'm a bit smarter
them and I can, you know, I should stop manipulating them.
He was like, hey, if I'm smarter than you and you're going to let me manipulate you,
I'm going to do it all.
day and get rich often. Now, the bacon and eggs is a very interesting thing because, you know,
before this idea, so basically what happened, there was a company, Jesse, Google, what was
the company, the bacon company that was struggling? It was a bacon company, yeah. But it was a, it was a
company, where was it? I want to, the beach nut packing company, they hired Edward Bernays to
increase sales of its bacon. So they, you know, this is, they took a gamble. Beach nut pack
company took a gamble. Nobody was eating bacon anymore. Their, their sales were suffering.
So Bernays comes up with the idea that says, let me talk to doctors.
Let me just, people trust doctors, no?
Let me talk to doctors and see if they'll basically work with me and they conduct some kind of study, which is, you know, you're not really lying, but you kind of are.
You're like fudging the results to show you that having bacon and eggs, much hardier breakfast will be better for you.
Because before then, light breakfast was the way, which is the way it should be.
That's why the term is breakfast, break fast.
So the way that we were doing it for 200 years was the right way.
They would eat a very, very light breakfast.
In Europe, they still do that.
They'll have like a very light pastry, a light fruit.
They're not eating these hearty things.
This is an American thing.
So he convinces people, puts out all these commercials that says 5,000 physicians confirm the finding that bacon and eggs is the healthiest
way to start the day and then boom.
Now we have bacon and eggs and denies and just fat, that, fat, fat people walking around because of Edward Bernays.
And the media blitz came with science.
scientific evidence.
Bernays said he contacted all his media friends
and he said, put this out there.
Put it out there in the papers on the news.
Breakfast improves the health of the American people
and the healthiest breakfast is bacon and egg.
So if you're eating a bacon and egg right now
while you're listening to us jerking off
from your truck on I-95,
just no, baby gorgeous.
You got manipulated by Edward Bernays.
There's somebody driving on the highway right now
who has a bacon egg and cheese sandwich in their hand
and they just squirted ketchup all over their jeans.
Yeah.
Because they're like, is he looking at me?
Is he watching me?
Yes.
Yeah.
The reason why bacon is part of the American breakfast is directly because of Edward Bernays.
Directly because of Edward Bernays, he made, because, you know, really, even all breakfast foods,
like really what you should have to be having for breakfast is like grilled chicken and sweet potatoes,
like have something high, but we would say, no, that's a lunch.
Yeah.
All these things are just ideas that PR has made.
Bernays is responsible for most of them, but other people are responsible.
Why do you, when you eat a muffin for breakfast, you're just eating a piece of cake.
Yeah.
That's all you're eating is a piece of cake.
They just call it a muffin.
So your brain thinks it's not cake, it's cake.
Yeah.
It's dessert.
What he knew, and Edward Berners was the one that coined that term manufactured consent, which basically just means.
No, it wasn't manufactured consent.
It was consent of the, what was it?
Manufactured consent, I think.
No, engineering of consent.
But I think it was, I think it's, can you look it up, manufactured consent?
Maybe I'm wrong.
Basically what that means is, hey,
I'm selling you the story, the narrative, and then you make the choice and you think you chose it, but I just nudged you into that choice.
Right.
I created the game, and you chose what I wanted you to choose.
Yeah.
So he also was hired by this toothpaste company, and he came up with this campaign about smiling.
Right.
And so he's like, you don't want to have an ugly smile, right?
So everyone was brushing their teeth or whatever, but he put shame on people.
He marketed shame that if your teeth weren't white and clean with this product, you were going to be ashamed.
Shamed and then that's- Sales went through the roof.
That's why you have fluoride in the water right now.
That's why if you live, especially in New York, and there's Florida in our water.
I don't know if that's true.
No, he's huge.
Google, Google, Edward Bernays and Florida.
And even furthermore, with the smile, all pictures before Bernays got involved, you didn't smile in pictures.
If you look at pictures in the 1800s, early 1900s, nobody's smiling.
It wasn't a thing.
he made smiling a thing.
Yeah.
Well, I think also because they lived in the past.
Right.
So it's not fun.
Right.
It's not fun when you got fumes.
So, yeah.
So fluoride.
So Bernays was hired to solve this problem.
In the 1930s and 40s, the aluminum industry.
Wow.
I didn't know this.
Or if you're listed in England, the aluminum.
What is it?
Aluminum.
We say aluminum, but what do they say?
Aluminium.
Why not?
Yeah.
Industry grew.
So fluoride waste was a problem.
So all these lawsuits, you know, how do you properly dispose of the fluoride, blah, blah, blah.
Bernays comes in and uses the cycle analytic techniques that he learned from Freud, that he's the master of PR here.
So he says, you know, because Sigmund Freud knew you got to bypass rational thought and influence,
and then you've got to tap into the public's subconscious desires.
It's all about, it's all about deep in the subconscious, the herd.
You knew that.
So Bernays understood that the public is going to accept new ideas, especially when in
endorsed by figures of authority.
So he worked with the U.S. Public Health Service and leveraged the American Dental Association to promote the idea that water fluoridation was safe and beneficial for dental health.
But we don't know that it was.
Holy fuck.
I didn't know that.
There it is because Bernice is still inside you.
Holy shit.
But is there science that says that it is good for you and small?
Scroll down a little bit.
At this time, at the time that he did this, fluoride was known as the active ingredient and rat poison.
Holy mother.
His campaign successfully rebranded it as a key ingredient for gleaming healthy teeth and a beautiful smile.
The campaign strategically suppressed information about fluoride's toxicity and other potential side effects
and instead focus on the positive emotional appeal of a perfect smile, which is a common psychological marketing technique, Bernays mastered.
So fluoride at very, very low levels, is safe, which is what we have at whatever it is, 0.007, you know, desidics, whatever the hell they measure it in.
so it's safe but fluoride in and of itself was just known as rat poison you know
to the people in the 1920s and they had a waste problem so they decided to put it in the water
it's what it is and then i'm going to tell you right after this how he killed about three million
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Because the torches of freedom.
That's what I...
I don't want...
If Ann Eileen's listening right now, she needs to shut it off.
She needs to shut it off because he got women to smoke big...
Lucky Strikes.
Lucky Strikes cigarettes.
So if you know about Lucky Strikes cigarettes, Cus, tell him what happened.
Wow.
So Lucky Strike approached him and he goes, hey, we got to get women smoking.
And he goes, okay.
What are you going to pay me?
And he got a nice fat check.
And he said, what we're going to do, I think the color of the box was green.
Yes.
Green was not fashionable.
So what he did was he paid all these models and influencers to start wearing green.
Yeah.
So there was advertisements with women in green.
So green became fashionable.
So the box became fashionable.
And then he paid a bunch of these chicks to walk around and smoke at beauty pageants.
So that and then there's a huge parade that would always get a lot of press, the Easter parade in New York City,
which I don't think they do anymore, right?
Or if they do, it's not as big.
If you go back, Jesse, to where the, yeah.
So what he did was this huge Easter parade that they have.
It was in 1929.
He hired, as you said, the young, fashionable, basically hot sex symbol women.
They were basically the influencers of their day.
And what he did was, though, he knew they were going to, all these pictures.
He had them hide the cigarettes.
So it wasn't like, oh, look at us taking the cigarettes out now.
They were casually smoking cigarettes.
And then the photographers were taking pictures.
of all these women with cigarettes,
but it was subconscious marketing.
There was no ad for Lucky Strikes.
It's like freedom, rebellion against the male patriarchy.
Exactly. And the real reason what he did is he spoke to a psychologist.
He didn't speak to Sigmund Freud.
He spoke to another psychologist, a very prominent psychology,
said the reason why what a cigarette really is, is it's a penis.
That's what it kind of looks like.
That's what it symbolizes.
The penis symbolizes power.
So you want to give women penises.
And put them in their mouth.
And put the way you give women penises,
you give them cigarettes.
Now you just give,
you could do it in a different way.
Yeah.
Now you can just cut off a piece of your ass
and you can make yourself a penis.
Yeah,
and then I'll like it.
You can cut yours off and hand it to them.
Yeah,
now Edward Bernays would have to have
to have a different marketing technique
because if you want to give women penises,
you don't need to do it with cigarettes.
Yeah, because his uncle,
his uncle thought that women all had penis envy
and they all secretly unconsciously wanted penis.
Yeah, I mean, there's just,
there's just a teacher of my daughter's school.
He's just a woman with a penis.
And then my daughter came home and said, what, you know, like, that's okay, right?
I said, yeah, just look at your uncle.
Yeah.
Well, that was.
And then I just showed her a video, Maurice Dacet.
I said, that's daddy's work, friend.
Look at him.
That's a woman with the penis.
Everybody's okay, honey.
Everyone's okay.
And she said, okay.
And they just put on Bob Dylan, and you said, the times they are changing.
What it is.
Yeah, because, listen, that was some of the stuff that Sigmund Freud wasn't exactly correct about.
That's what you did a little too much blow.
I don't think.
I think the unconscious drives of sex, edible complex, things like that, all those things,
the unconscious drives, shame, all that stuff, sex, blah, blah, blah, aggression, latent aggression.
All those things were true.
The id, the super ego, the ego, all that stuff is more true.
But the whole penis, everything, I think, is really when he went off the reservation a little bit
because, I mean, all you got to do is look at Elliot Page.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She wanted the opposite.
She wanted to get rid of the penis.
Right, it's what it is.
Yeah.
Buck Angel, you know?
Yeah.
He does not, well, that's the opposite.
Buck Angel is a, is a, um, Bucking is a good guy with a push.
Yeah, he was a pus and he wanted to be a guy.
No, but Buck Angel was born a woman and became a guy, but he kept his pus.
Kept his pus, but, you know, if he wants to be a guy, he'd want the peen.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
So basically, if you bang, you could bang out Buck Angel and you're not gay.
Yeah.
Because he's got a full pus.
Yeah, but that's the confusing thing because.
No, if you got a Puss, that's the way I see it.
Because when I look at Buck Angel, there is zero attraction.
When I look at Karma Carreira, I want to clean.
If you have sex with that guy, you are not gay, my friend, because he has a ape.
Because if I saw that guy walking down the street, the last thing I would think is I want to bang that out.
Yeah, it's what it is.
Yeah.
But he certainly has a Puss.
He's got a Puss.
And Aaron Berg's going to play him in the movie.
It's crazy.
But, you know, that's the thing with trans.
It's like if I'm banging, if I'm banging her or him, I'm banging him.
And I'm like, I would have to keep.
Look at him getting his snatchy and scroll down a little bit.
If I was banging him, there it is.
I would have to keep repeating to myself while I was banging him.
He's got a push.
He's got a push.
This is a gay.
This is a gay.
Now, guys, look at this.
See that photo down there right to the left?
The guy eating him out.
If you are able, if you could, that's, that's fucking mind blowing.
Guys, if you could, if that was one of those, like, moving images, you could see if
when that guy turns to left, you'll see someone you recognize and it's me.
Latta 14
Because what would you do if you saw it and turned around it was just crazy
I mean
Now here's the thing cause
Here's the thing
Okay
I think that
You know
With with this going back to the Edward Bernays
The smoking
The torches of freedom
What it was too is
Back then
They didn't really know
The implications of smoking
I mean we
I remember being a kid in the 80s and early 90s
where they were still promoting cigarettes.
Well, doctors actually smoked back then.
A lot of people did smoke.
Smoking became a thing.
It was addictive.
It was cool.
There were campaigns about smoking.
There was advertising about smoking.
But what he did is he went and seduced a whole bunch of doctors.
He didn't even really pay him off.
He'd give him free cartons and say,
hey, well, you just sign off and say that smoking relieves stress.
And those doctors was like, yeah, that's when I smoke.
I relieve stress.
So he just got a lot of doctors.
And then he went, boom.
He said $2,000.
$2,000 or 20,000 doctors from this organization agree.
It relieves stress, and people are like, all right.
So it's basically fake science, fake news.
Yes.
I'm just joking.
I don't know that for a fact.
Yes, and we're telling that directly to the algorithm.
He, you know, later on in life did regret.
Because I think one study said that this campaign alone probably killed something like
three million women.
It's what it is.
It's what it is.
I like to say it like this.
That's what.
It's what it is. I mean, Hitler got six million. He got three. It's what it is. So it's what it is. German efficiency wins. Yeah.
Lad of 14. So, yeah, it's just, you know, this whole idea of women having their own penises via cigarettes and that torches of freedom, women's suffrage, all that stuff they capitalize. So it's just kind of, you know, we're still getting manipulated by him to this day, by the fluoride. You know, athletes.
and entertainers and all that stuff
promoting products how you'll see
like LeBron James or Tom Brady
and every commercial now that's also Edward Bernays
did you know that? Yeah well because his whole
thing was like you don't sell the product
you sell a story you sell
a narrative based on these
unconscious
urges which subconscious urge
every PR person does we all kind of know that now
but the key is he was the first one to do it before
Bernays if there was no Edward Bernays
public relations wouldn't be how they are today like how because basically what happens is
is before this in the night all of american time the 1800s 1900s you were just promoted products
were promoted because of necessity you needed a car to get from point to point B you needed a coach
to survive the winter you needed food you didn't it wasn't wanting nothing was about wants
it was just one of my basic needs right then he changed it from needs to wants and that's
big yeah that's the major thing because
Because now the whole idea of a department store, this whole idea of mass producing clothes and shoes and manufacturers in general, Edward Bernice, he was the one that said, if we're going to have all this items and we need a department store, I need to be able to corral the people into it, like literal cows to their slaughter.
He was like, I need to corral them into a place.
So that's when they invented Macy's.
Yeah.
And it's just what it is.
The kid was raised as a secular Jew, so he wasn't very religious.
What does that mean a secular Jew?
Secular Jew means somebody who will bang a goyem.
So, Goyim's a, like a dirty non-Jew.
Yeah.
Like, I'm a Goyum.
You're a Goy.
You're a Goy.
Yeah, you're a Goy.
I'm a Goy boy.
I'm a Goy boy.
So Jesse's a secular Jew.
Jesse's a Goy big.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's only half, too.
And he's a fucking Goy big.
Yeah.
I mean, the kid will be baking.
The kid will fucking...
He touched lights switches all the time.
Because I'm a non-Jew who likes Puerto Ricans.
I'm a Goy for Goya.
You're a Jew predator.
I'm a Goy for Goy for Gets.
Boyer, right?
Or am I just a goyer?
Because when a fucking Jew looks at you, he sees a Komodo dragon.
It's what it is.
You're a Jew predator because your face says get in the easy bank.
Yeah, Edwin, I would like to just punch him in the face.
And not just the only try to kill my in Aileen just because of some other things.
Live 14.
What I was about to say is his religion, if there was such a thing, the closest religion he had was capitalism.
Right.
He was a zealot for capitalism.
He believed in it.
So he didn't think anything he was.
doing was wrong and you can make an argument like was it wrong i mean people what he would say is people
are going to be led one way or the other yes whether it's going to be bacon for breakfast or
pancake it's like what he was basically saying is people aren't rational they're not reasonable they
want to feel right right so that which is true he basically started from hey you need this to wash your
clothes to do you want to be fucking cool yeah you want to be fucking cool you want to be like mike
Do you want to be like fucking Mike?
That was Edward Bernay's.
Yes.
And you go, yeah, I want to be like Mike.
Do you want to fucking be like LeBron James?
Well, then drink the drink that he fake drinks in the commercial.
Because his nutritionist would never allow him to fucking touch a Sprite.
But he got paid a couple million dollars to subconsciously invade your brain
and have you affiliate with the fucking one of the most elite athletes created by the Chinese government
who is sustained by fucking the cutting.
of science, and the shittiest drink that causes cancer will make you fat, they'll put those new
things together, and you'll just go, I want to be like LeBron, and you'll drink a Sprite.
Yeah, you'll just drink a Sprite.
So they just fucking lie to you, and we eat it up.
Well, also, what I think, too, is because this is.
And that hairline is fake.
Yeah, this is all created by the Chinese, is that because Sprite has that, you know,
yellow sick stuff in it, wherever.
And I just drank a fucking Zid.
It's just what it is.
You're on fire.
Well, they probably do this.
they use somebody like LeBron to Chinese marketing
because they know that a lot of people will buy
sprites just because LeBron's holding it and they'll kill the sperm
and they'll decrease our population that way.
That's what they're doing. That's what they're doing.
What the Chinese have done is
they've used a variation
of Bernays
in a way, right?
So what the Chinese have done is they invented
TikTok. A bite dance is a Chinese
company that invented TikTok and what
made their algorithm revolutionary
was it was all about
you know, um, using those, um, subconscious kind of urges, sex, you know, shame, uh, sensational fucking
narratives to get you hooked and keep you speedy and, and scrolling and scrolling and hook you
on dopamine using sexy girl dancing.
Yeah, anytime, anytime you see a TikTok dance go viral, that's the seeds of that are in Edward
Bernays. There's a Chinese Edward Bernays out there. Yeah, I mean, let's be honest. Um,
Charlie DeMilio, is that her name?
Sure.
Yeah.
Charlie DeMilio, the girls want to look like that.
And the boys want to go, oh, my God, how old is she?
What is she?
Oh, my God.
Am I God?
Am I God?
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
She's fertile.
Fertile.
So when the guys look at that, they just see fertility.
That's all they hate.
Yeah.
It's a deep, deep, rooted thing.
It's just they want to have sex with it.
And then you're glued to that.
And then so the algorithm goes, gotcha.
And then you scroll again.
There's another one.
There's another one.
There's another one.
Was the other one called Damilio, whatever her.
Oh, Addison Ray.
Addison Ray's on there.
And then the next thing, you know, it's all these white girls going,
dancing to fucking hip hop, you know?
They're dancing to all fucking drill rap with prices.
And then they go, shh, on the N-word.
They go, and then the N-word comes up in the song,
and they go, shh.
Yeah.
And then the next thing you know, your fucking brain is mush.
You're addicted and you're confused.
Because it's the only thing to do is for us to take our wives and our daughters to China.
Should we just move to China?
Is that the only way to stay safe?
I'm not ready to accept defeat yet.
Yeah, yeah.
Can't do it.
I'm going to go to Taiwan and I'm going to fight with them.
Now, when the Chinese attack, I'm just joining the Taiwanese, just like the North Koreans are fucking in Ukraine.
Yeah.
I'm going to Taiwan.
I'm going to fight with my time.
I like to call those the good Chinese.
The good Chinese.
Right after this break, we're going to tell you how Edward Bernays took down a bunch of fruits.
So do you know about the United Fruit Company, which me and you are proud members of?
Yeah, now this is where you really see.
This is where he really, the horns come out.
Wei Songxien
I just meant
because he's not
I just meant
Jake he's a little devilish
Yeah
Right
Because the horns come out
This is where the
3rd 14
This is where the horns
Come out
When Edward Bernays
He worked with the United
Fruit Company
Yeah
And the CIA
Yeah
Yeah now it's better known
As the United homo
Because he was making
Like 1,500 a day
In that money back then
So you're talking about
CIA
CIA was
He was on the payroll
with the CIA.
Daily, daily.
Big money.
Yeah.
So the United Fruit Company,
1950s,
Edward Bernays' work
with them to orchestrate
a public relations campaign,
a.k.a.
a propaganda campaign.
From now on in your life,
every time you see the words
PR, public relations,
just know that it's propaganda.
They just changed the word
because propaganda
has a negative connotation,
but it is absolutely propaganda,
just like a muffin is cake,
and it will raise your LDLs.
So would lead to,
they,
so Edward Brunez worked
with United Fruit Company,
1950s to orchestrate a public relations campaign
that would lead to the 1954 Guatemalan coup d'etat.
Are you Guatemalan?
No.
Uruguay.
Okay.
Sorry.
No, it's okay.
I thought it was, sorry.
Uruguay is the one we can't talk crap about.
No, Uruguay.
Why?
Because he's upset.
He said, don't talk about Uruguay.
That's where he's from.
Yeah, but does he look like a kid who's nationalistic Uruguayan?
No.
He looks like the kid that would get the most upset if we said something bad about Tennessee
Williams.
Yeah.
Okay.
So the 1954 Guatemala in Kudita.
The company, which had a huge economic presence in Central America, United Fruit Company,
was threatened by the democratically elected government of President Jacoba Arbenz,
who had initiated an agrarian reform program to redistribute uncultivated land,
including a large portion owned by United Fruit, to landless peasants.
He basically wanted to just give the land, he wanted to give the land back to the people a little bit.
people it was uh you know he was going hey you got your your company is in here and you're he's like
i don't want you guys to just cut clips and do shakespeare i want you to live off the land yeah he's
basically going you're raping our resources you know this is what made communism so popular
going hey these peasants are living in poverty you're just taking all the resources from here
yeah selling them and you're going yeah that's what western imperialism does so you say because
you're listening to that you're saying okay that's a good thing president jacobo arbans is doing
he's trying to make he's trying to help his people he's just good guy's trying to make
Guatemala great again. We support that.
And then, basically he was trying to,
he was trying to do like a Guatemala first.
Yes. It's basically what it was. I respect that.
I was gold for that. Yeah. It was a gamma.
Yeah. It was Guatemala.
It was a maga gaga.
Yeah. It was.
Make, Guatemala.
It was a juja.
It was a juja. Make Guatemala great again.
But anyway, so Edward Bernays, right?
Edward Bernays campaign instead aimed to frame Arbenz as a communist puppet of the Soviet
Union playing on Cold War
Fears in the U.S. and he
employed his, he went back into his
bag of horn tricks.
And he ordered a fact-finding
trips to Guatemala for influential
journalists and members of Congress, carefully
controlling their itineraries to present a distorted
anti-Arbanes view of the country.
So he basically had paid actors out there
saying, we don't like him, Arbenz. He's
bad. He's communist, blah, blah.
Then he disseminated press releases and planted
stories in major newspapers and magazines.
that painted the United Fruit as a victim of communism and a champion against it.
Then he created a front organization called the Middle America Information Bureau
to distribute propaganda and influence public opinion.
The campaign successfully convinced American policy makers
and the public that the democratically elected government of Guatemala
was a threat to U.S. national security.
We've heard that a million times.
Bernay's efforts helped create the political climate and public support necessary
for the CIA to carry out a coup,
codenamed Operation PBS Success, which overthrew Arbenz and installed a military dictatorship,
and Enroner just sat down and had a little locks.
Lad of 14.
A little celebratory smear.
He had a little locks and cream cheese on a bagel.
Yeah, I sat down, did an interview with David Letterman, and that's just what I call an evil guy.
That's just how the cookie crumbled.
It's just what it is.
It's just what he did.
It's what he did.
caused a coup to get...
He advised on a coup.
He came up with him on how to do it.
And he destabilized Central America, which, by the way, a lot of countries, you know,
United States, that's what they do.
Yeah.
That's what we do.
So we're just a part of that.
But just know that, I mean, this to me is the worst.
I mean, he really destroyed Guatemala.
He, uh, he didn't help it.
He didn't help it.
He didn't go down there and extend a hand.
And similarly, at the World Fair, had a cinnamon raisin bagel and a little man in Shevitz,
and he just sat down with his horns.
Yeah.
And then he convinced all South America during the World's Fair that, hey, we're not so bad.
He started pushing the culture in South America and Americanized them and said, hey, let's just do commerce, do commerce, which in his mind was the right thing.
Maybe it was.
Maybe it wasn't.
I don't know.
Maybe business is good.
I mean, listen, one of the most ironic things, now this, don't take this any which way.
I'm just going to state the facts, okay?
This is just the facts.
Tell me.
one of the most ironic things you're about to give us a truth bader ginsberg this is the truth bader ginsberg
is what i'm about to say one of the most ironic things right most people who are communist um or you know
just like socialist whatever that means right well we could talk about that but always go oh these
economies didn't work because of capitalist embargoes because of you know capitalist exploitation blah
blah maybe that's true i'll extend that olive branch but one thing is for certain when it comes to
communist countries that became powerhouses.
The mechanism by which they became a powerhouse was capitalist tools, right?
You look at Vietnam, right?
Poor country, right?
Then they had economic reforms.
They allowed private markets, a hybrid with the communist oversight, whatever.
So what?
You get your hood cut off, but you can still make money.
You look at China.
So one of the most ironic things that I guess Marx didn't foresee that it seems, if you look
at real world data, the only thing that works as a propeller for communism is a capitalist
market, which is very ironic.
Which is China is not going to be as powerful as they are right now without low capitalism.
I mean, what was it?
30, 40 years, they're a world power now because of capitalist reforms.
Look at Vietnam is a perfect example because it was the most recent.
I mean, Vietnam was just like no education.
If you look at the stats, it's gone from like 7% of the population.
population to like 80% of the
population is educated. They've
been lifted out of poverty. These are
just facts. Right. Do with them what you will.
You know, those are just
facts. It's just ironic that
capitalism is
the only thing that works. Right. Communists.
But still, Edward Brunez was kind of a douche
for doing this United Food Company
thing to Ecuador. I'm to
what country? Guatemala. He was
definitely at the very least a
mixed bag. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he was definitely
a mixed bag. And, you know,
Because like you said, at the time, how aware were they that cigarettes killed like they did?
They weren't aware as much.
I mean, sure, the coughing probably tipped them off.
Right.
Wasn't great.
Well, the tortures of women thing, I get that.
The torches of women thing, I could see how, and later in life, he did say, I feel bad about that one.
But, I mean, he knew what he was doing in Guatemala.
He knew what he was doing, but he thought it was the right thing.
He thought communism wasn't evil.
Right.
So he thought he was doing the right thing.
Right.
Was it the right thing?
Probably not.
Right.
I don't know.
Well, he took the land, I mean, the people who were so already dirt poor could have
just made a little schmoney off the land.
Yeah.
It's just the thing about communism is you just go, have you met people?
Right.
It's one of those things where you go like, this is a great idea.
Right.
Like a perfect circle.
Right.
But once you impregnated into reality, somebody's got to be in charge.
Right.
And what ends up happening is the government just becomes the one corporation.
Right.
That runs everything.
And it just turns into a dictator.
I mean, look at King John Oung.
The kid is fine for food.
He's got too much.
Yeah.
He's got fucking Patrick Ewing's haircut.
Yeah.
He's watching American movies.
Oh, 100%.
I understand the streets are clean and everyone is fucking fine and whatever.
But, like, King John Oum is definitely better than the rest of the people.
I think communism just means you all have the right to be the same amount poor.
You're right.
That's what the equality means.
You want a one world government big.
No, I'm just saying
We can look back
We can look back at Edward Bernays and say
Wow, what a bad guy
And probably was
I mean his daughter wrote a book about him
Deniang he was a control freak
And fucking he was
You know
Called everybody stupid all the time
He was always performive
His whole life was performance
He even wrote his eulogies
And his diary
He lived to 103 by the way
Yeah, which is so the kid was not stressed out
Well his wife said that
His daughter said he's constantly having nightmares
about his campaigns going wrong or whatever.
But how did he live to 103 with all that stress?
He said he smoked cigars until he was 95.
Interesting.
Yeah.
I don't know how he lived that long, but it seems like demons last forever and the good die young.
It's just what it is.
Yeah.
I mean, was he probably not a great guy?
Probably not.
Right.
I mean, supposedly, I think he was a control freak.
I think he would go to escorts.
The most we know is he would go to escorts, but he claimed he was doing research with them.
Yeah.
He said he was checking on the cigarette.
Just like Gondi was just praying with the 12-year-old niece who was naked in the bed.
Right.
He stayed with his wife.
His wife stayed with him.
They had a pretty boring life.
Well, because it's easy to stay with the wife when you're getting a little escorts.
Maybe that's why you live to 103.
Home mom, Donnie, bring out the dudes.
Way's on Shane.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, I just got a head rush because, like we said,
there are two demographics that are going to be going big for Mom Dami.
And that's young, unemployed, angry kids who feel like Matt Rife is Donald Trump.
and the other ones are going to be married, guys.
We're looking for a little loophole.
Loud quick, D.
I want it.
So basically we want to ask you.
What group of people want to, they want to rebel against the podcast bros?
Yeah.
That's become the new pejard of the podcast bros.
Edward Bernays, okay, villain, hero, Yono say, you got to tell us in the comments.
Okay, just know that you're eating bacon, smoking, cigarettes, going to,
Guatemala, it's all because of Edward Bernice.
Just know that engineered consent, manufactured consent, what you want to call it,
is how capitalism runs.
Say that to a girl you're trying to have sex with tonight.
Yeah.
Say I'd like to engineer some consent.
Well, yeah, we all have these cognitive biases.
And the more you're aware of them, the more you can protect your own individualism and
your own soul because it's out there.
Right.
A lot of times it's not even that evil.
It's just, hey, sometimes the product is good and it just needs a little narrative to sell it.
I mean, but Edward Bernays really is the father of advertising.
He's a father of marketing.
We are really not the United States of America.
We are the United States of Advertising.
We run on that.
With the United States of Edward Bernays.
With the United States of Edward Bernays.
Like, Jesse, Edward Bernays is a big figure in advertising, isn't he?
He is, yeah.
I mean, like you said, a lot of his ideas permeated.
But when I got into it, it was more about parity.
A lot of the products were parody products, right?
Like sneakers are all basically the same, just different logos.
So it was about branding, right?
We're building brands.
Well, what is that brand?
Because of building a lifestyle.
Selling the lifestyle.
You're not buying the sneakers of Jordans because they're more comfortable or do anything
different than, you know, a bullshit pair of rock ports.
It's Jordans are cool.
Rockports are not.
And that's Bernays did that.
Bernays is the one that said, make it cool, right?
That's what it is.
You're buying cool and lifestyle.
You're not because you're buying the want, not the need.
That's the fundamental thing that Bernays changed.
Before it, there would have been no Jordan sneakers because all the shoes are just for needs.
So all the shoes look the same, feel the same.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But he's buying the want.
Yeah.
He made it a want, which is a smart thing.
Yeah.
I mean, that's what we're saying here.
That's why we're telling you go to patreon.com slash history aina's.
It's because you want to be free.
Yeah.
Actually, you need to be free.
Well, patreon.com slash history aeneas should be an American institution.
Well, no, the thing is, you know,
I think people are tired, dude.
I think people are exhausted.
I really do think that they're tired.
I think people just have fatigue.
I think they have some sort of insight into being manipulated, not just by mass media, not just by mainstream media, but now by people on the internet.
And they're just tired of feeling the strings, you know?
Right.
And it just feels good to be selling a product.
that we're not selling.
Right.
Just come over here and have that inner child.
The one that Edward Bonaise knew we all had and he manipulated,
we want to get in touch with that thing and just give you a little tickle,
tickle.
We want to play coo-chie-coo with you.
That's what we want to do.
All we're here is to have a good time and to feel free.
You're in your car right now.
You're at the gym or you're sitting in your bed.
You got your cock in your hand and you're watching us on a screen.
Yeah.
Whatever it is, you can be who you really are, not the mask you wear for society.
You remember of Antifa, put your shield down.
Come here and enjoy an hour of Coochicoo.
Coochicoo.
You're a freedom boy.
They always got some American name, which I love.
If you're part of the Captain America children, if you're part of the proud USA, if you're part of the Hulk Hogan tribe, whatever you're fucking far right.
It's called.
Last 14.
Take off your American flag fucking shirt.
Yeah.
Pull down your ice mask and take out your dick and your cuck.
and say I'm a cute fucking kid and have a good time with us for an hour
and then come over to patreon.com slash history hyenas
well we would give you the secret to the Thetons who are controlling our mind
because we live in a prison planet.
It's what it is.
And that's the highest level of our cult.
And that's all Trude Peter Ginsburg and the newest members of the Patreon
who joined over the last couple of weeks who make a funny name.
We read them out loud.
And then we pick a winner, a pseudopinus of the week.
As hyenas have pseudo penises is, welcome to the matriarch.
our newest members of the group leading us off.
We have full-blown Lebanese that can make Chrissy Cackle if he grabs his ankles.
It's my character piece, a lot of 14.
Okay, dokey.
Yeah, grabs his ankles.
It's a little rim job.
That's a good way to get a rim job is to grab your ankles.
Also a good stretch.
You get a good stretch in.
Then we got Yamsors, Zach Huffstaltler, Hasselid Geif, Ryan Sinclair, Cesar Hromos, Carolyn Sue.
Then we got Mom Dani.
I got elected, and now my halali is tickling.
What's a halale?
Well, because one of the videos.
One of his campaign promises is to make the halal cheaper.
Oh, yeah.
I think it's very funny, which, you know, because, like, you know, he made a whole video about it.
He's like, the halal's gotten too expensive.
The funny thing is, I don't think anyone knew what the price for halal is.
Yeah.
Because when you're ordering halal, you are so fucking wasted.
Right.
You are so drunk.
You just hand a $20 bill.
I mean, anytime I've gotten halal, I don't know whether it was $16 or $8.
All I know is I want to pee on the side of the cart.
Just give me the slop.
I mean, there was nobody drunk.
all the prices are too high.
I've never met anyone who's bought halal in the daylight.
Because there's nobody who's sober who's getting halal
because you're overlooking the fact that the guy's
peeing inside the fucking cart.
It's what it is.
Lad of 14.
Mr. Mom, Ben Turner, Brian Robson,
then we had a toot, had a surprise.
Now I got glue in my eyes.
Okay.
Andrew N.G.
Ray Mola.
No pants Kyle.
Billy Shinkor.
Jay Marvel.
Jesse Ashton.
Sandusky Tickle Monsters.
We're going to throw it on the list
because nothing good has come along yet
Nothing good's come along
Now that could
Well we haven't got we have a new one
Well we'll unveil the LeBron James
Later we unveiled it last episode
So if you come out early early in the list
And you're a contender
And then you end up winning
You're a LeBron James
Because you came out early
And you lived up to the hype
That's what it is
Kekton won
An anxious androgynous
As cool shooter
Brandon Altman
Wait a school shooter
That's a walked into one
A school shoot
Yeah
As cool
Yeah sorry about that
Yep
That's what you call security
That is not okay
Now Brandon Altman
Fill a buster
Till Trump fills my butt sir
Donnie please press my Coke button
Put him on the list
Okay
Yeah
The big
The big
VZ
Okay
Jesse Vernon
Cameron Higgins
Way Sean Zinn
Under my foreskin
Now my squeak peeing is hard from nicotine big as it's ever been
On the list
That's it.
Putting nicotine your foreskin's wild move
It is a very good one
Then we got Daddy Likey
Definition of a chicken finger
Then we got the Toot Fairy
Chicken figure
Yeah back to back
Paul Lovaro
Kip Van Winkle
Accidentally threw my frisbee at the World Trade Center
Hashtag never forget
Way song she ain't
Lad of 14
Damn
At some point
Do you think we should for fun
have a walked into one list
we could but we can't make
it a thing I know we can't keep
encouraging it do like a $25
just because they're
horrible but they the creativity
right is I'm horrible
let's consider it yeah if it will
do it we'll do it at a 25 level I mean look if that
wasn't so offensive
right I would say that was the most creative one
yeah if it wasn't three days from 9-11
yeah yeah
Kate Page
Andres Bonestrosto
Verm,
Dahl
Chicken finger
Boylein walked into one
Dwayne Adams
Clinton Huber
Amber Elvarnega
Elian
Then we got
Sauce Monkey with Alfredo
And his glue gun
Yeah
List
Yeah
A kid shoots out white glue
I like it
He's got Alfredo
He's a Cali you kid
He shoots out fucking
Yeah
There you go
Then we got
Clarissa I didn't mean to P
Please answer my call
Okay
Tyler Powell
Chris E's neighborhood
Watch program, aka the Sundown Suckfest.
Liam Gelsden.
Shiro Ishi's Bug Chasers Academy for Second Class Citizens?
That was from...
Old School.
Is this an old...
This is...
No, it's probably a couple weeks, so that's Unit 721.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
We do these episodes, two hour and a half long episodes, and then we just forget everything
we learned.
It's very crazy how...
It's crazy how, like, we hit new...
Unit 731.
Yeah.
When you said, let's do the Haitian Revolution, I was like, I'm pretty sure we did that.
And I look back, we did...
We did do that one.
We did do another.
We'll do it again.
Yeah.
I don't remember it.
Frisbee on my glue gun, but I still spawned the genocide.
Way song she ain't.
Alejandro O'Connor, Queef Latina, Juice, Goose, Kim John Unz Barber, Rada 14.
Henry.
La 14.
Who paddle boards at 7.45?
It's a good question.
Yeah.
I don't understand what the implication is, but.
True Blue Cuck.
Caden Eng, C.J. Ramsey.
Justin Anj.
laser neighbors just moved in
so that's why I have ants now
okay you're saying some Indian kids
moved in and you got answers but that's racist
walk into one that's a walked into one security
please escort this person out of the store
John Bowler then we got
I
oh Jesus Christ
I jengis
cons
stops brawling
my laser it's too
dude this is so many letters this is sometimes
you guys try to cram it all in one word and it's just
impossible to read.
Andrew Siddishik, Matthew Hunt, Hunter
Ellenbarger, Ian Madden,
Unit 731 Genetic Testing.
It got you.
They got you, man.
No, he's saying,
genetic testing invented.
But that's interesting.
It's two unit 731s.
Are we sure?
Because that's like eight weeks ago now.
No, no, not that many.
It was only a couple.
Yeah.
But I'm going to say, security, get this guy out of my store.
Get him out.
Joseph Diaz, Del Simonsonson, Sean Dean,
Maddie Schero, Hunter,
Biden's camera lens that adds 10 pounds
on a crack pipe. Put him on the list. There it is.
Put him on the list. The crack pipe wasn't
there. It was just the camera. Yeah. Bloaded
Ozzy, a.k.a. The Prince of Fartness.
Okay. Travis Morgan. Bill Cosby's favorite Native American
tribe was
Okay. He went for it.
He went for it. Okay.
Quinn Hanson, Katie, Chase Taylor,
Caleb Ayala. Skipping
Thanksgiving to fucking alien I met on Tinder.
Okay.
Andres Munoz,
it was an itsy, bitty, teeny, weeny,
yellow cock in her bikini that she tucked
for the first time today.
Loud of 14.
teeny weeny, teeny, weedy, short, short.
Drexler.
I think the first Drexler we've had.
Yeah.
Then we got Napoleon Bonafart.
Chicken.
Yeah.
Kenton Rickerman, Harry Krishna,
Nikki Tyler, Big Grizzly,
James Leffler, Joshua Huback,
Daniel, Chase Dial,
Big Rant Rants.
Listen to Hyenas in the sauna
it to get extra sticky icky um dody's big sunglasses jackson c benjamin gonzalez funky fuck
darth nalgus a rod there's no more seats in the back brad wiggins martial powers
omar muse yeasty teats the jo rogan useful idiot experience mxt t tt the tuckback of notre dame
Christique McQuiggin
Make England
Pay reparations first
Barno Washishi
Richard Cweet
Laser Beam with third degree
burns
Call me Nuuk Vindaloo
Joshua Austin
Walked in a one
Yeah okay
Joshua Austin
Warm Ball Max
Bridging Macron's
Concealed Glue Gun
Matt
My PIN just cream
Because of an ad
About jeans
Joe now Whitney
Sweeney
Yeah
Slipped on Lou
about a ditty party. Now I'm suing with Frisbee
and Amp. Frisbee.
Kids got himself
the right lawyer.
Harriet Tuckman.
We've had. We've had goodie.
My name, but was afraid
Chrissy would call me it.
Gotcha.
Ways on she ain't.
You, security pleases support this person.
South Park, yep. Out.
Moose up. And then last but not least,
Ernest Hemingway's flying earnest hemie monkeys.
I don't know.
I don't even get that.
I don't get it.
But not the strongest list today.
Well, but we still...
We say that a lot, but I don't remember.
Let's read it back.
Okay. Sandusky tickle monsters.
That's a goody.
Filibuster till Trump fills my butt, sir.
Donnie, please press my Coke button.
Very good.
Weishong Zinn under my foreskin.
Now my squeak peen is hard from nicotine, biggest it's ever been.
Really good.
Sauce Monkey with Alfredo and his glue gun.
Hunter Biden's camera lens that adds 10 pounds in a crack pipe.
Why did you say it wasn't a good one?
Yeah, you think it's a good one?
I don't think we've ever had a bad one.
What do we got?
Okay, let's start with the first one.
Sandusky tickle monsters.
No.
Jesse doesn't like it.
Yeah, I'm looking at Nick, too.
Nothing.
Nick, what do you think?
Do you know who Sandusky is?
Yeah.
He touched a bunch of kids.
Yeah, right?
Yeah, we're going to.
All right.
Yeah.
It's not okay.
But it's funny.
Filibuster till Trump fills my butt, sir.
Donnie, please press my Coke button.
That's the definition of an honorary mention.
Yeah.
Really good.
Drexler.
Drexler.
Drexler.
Drexler both of those.
Any other day, guys.
I'm sorry.
Weishon Zinn under my foreskin.
Now my squeak penis hard from nicotine, big as it's ever been.
See, that one is so interesting because I thought he should have stopped.
Right.
But then it still was good.
Right.
So we're keeping him around.
Okay.
Yeah.
So he's being kept.
And it's not as in.
It's a Lucy.
It's a Lucy.
Right.
Sauce monkey with Alfredo in his glue gun.
We're keeping that around.
It's a good chicken finger.
And then Hunter Biden's camera lens that adds 10 pounds and a crack pipe.
Yeah.
We're keeping that around.
So we got a three off.
So Hunter Biden's camera lens
That adds 10 pounds in a crack pipe
Sauce Monkey with Alfredo in his glue gun
Orayshan Zin under my foreskin
Now my squeak peen is hard from nicotine
Big as it's ever been
I'm gonna just take the cards here
Okay
I'm gonna take the cards here
And we're gonna do a little
Slam dunk contest
We're gonna do a little gymnastics judging
Okay
I'm going straight
I'm making an executive decision
We're going with Hunter Biden
Okay that's the best one
That's the one Rick
Everyone agrees
I knew it too
So congratulations to Hunter Biden's camera lens that adds 10 pounds and a crack pipe.
You could see your name up in lights at history hyenaspod.com or history hyenas is back.com.
And we appreciate you.
Tell your friends about us.
We really appreciate you like it and subscribing on YouTube, commenting, all that stuff works.
And remember, if you want to be free and be the real you who you cannot be in today's society, go to patreon.com slash history hyenas and have some fun.
Of course, we have bonus episodes and all that extra content.
but the difference is with us is you can really be who you want to be.
Yeah.