History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - Carly Aquilino is WILD! | ep 189 - History Hyenas

Episode Date: February 10, 2021

The hyenas have Carly Aquilino on the pod and they talk history of the Titanic! Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys/ Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit....ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 All right, here we go. Welcome to another episode of History Hyena. It's Chrissy D. Yanni P. and now our guest is Carly Aquilino. Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi. Carly. I'm just holding this up in honor of your hometown. We were just talking about Long Island, heavily sprinkled with Jews. Even if you're not Jewish in Long Island, you're a little Jewish. A little, yeah. A little Jewish, good bagels.
Starting point is 00:00:32 Carly. Great bagels. Is, Carly has a cat named Robert. I do have a cat named Robert. Thank you very much for bringing it up. I was waiting. We thought you wanted to bring him. That's why we put out trash like in the hyena.
Starting point is 00:00:42 I would have loved to, but I know you're allergic. Are you allergic too? I'm not allergic but you don't have to worry about allergies or anything with Chris. Chris just barrels through it. Yeah, I'll just barrel through it. You could bring 10 cats he'll barrel through it. He doesn't eat sushi. I took him to sushi. He ate it and then he was just getting like purple and I was like, do you like sushi? He's like, no, he's like, then why
Starting point is 00:01:00 do you eat it? He goes, I do it. He's like, go with the flow. It doesn't matter. Carly knows a lot about me. Some of the fans know Carly I used to date so she knows I have allergies and I get diarrhea when I have too much cheese. Right. We've experienced that firsthand. That first. Yeah. Me and you are really Yeah, me and you were really only friends because we got dumped by the girls a girl code. Yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:22 Together. Yeah. And it's nice. It's nice because that's but that's that's why you know, before we start talking because by the way, today's episode is going to be about the Titanic. Yes. And you know, Carly wanted to pick this topic and it's very near and dear to my heart because I've always wanted to be Kate Winslet. Titanic is it's it's appropriate having you in here the Titanic because when we got dumped, it was kind of like they got on the lifeboats of girl code and we were on the Titanic. We went down in the Titanic. Yeah. By the way,
Starting point is 00:01:52 by the way, let me just say this. Okay. I'm a feminist and everything like that, but if I was in that situation that Leonardo DiCaprio was in, it would have been 15 minutes on 15 minutes off. Yeah. Equality. Right. I'm with you. He shouldn't have died. He didn't need to die. Also, they could have probably shared it. You could share a raft. They could have shared it 15 on 15 off. We both think that but but the thing is now is what's good. Full circle life. Now both of us have moved on. Yanni's married. I have another baby all the way. God bless. Baby's due date is July 4th, it's born on July 4th.
Starting point is 00:02:26 I will name it Donald. That's a promise. I'm kidding. I am. And but now it's like, you know, we both moved on and it's like everything's like all good. So it's like just like good stuff to see, like good mature. Well, when you talk about you move on, you said you were going to propose to Carly on this episode. I did.
Starting point is 00:02:42 Yeah. Well, that's how funny if you just came out with a ring and he was like, I just got over it. Well, that's the thing because Tank Sinatra, our good friend of the show, Tank Sinatra, who's all our friends here, grew up very close to the same town where Carly grew up and Tank, I'm looking for houses on Long Island, and Tank goes, you should move to that town
Starting point is 00:02:57 where Carly grew up. And I was like, no, I can't because I can't move into her town because I already one time moved into the same apartment building as her after I already left so I can't do that again. Right, right you could it's okay. No but do you remember that when you were like when I called you or somebody or your dad told you was like hey I think Chris lives in the apartment building that I just moved out of with my new family. Right literally with your new family I was like okay that's cool. Yeah it was just crazy and then I didn't even tell
Starting point is 00:03:27 Jasmine my girl until like we were there for like two months she was like I was like, OK, that's crazy. And then I didn't even tell Jasmine, my girl, until like we were there for like two months, she was like, I was, you know, I used to live here with Carly. And she was like, what? And I was like, yeah, I just thought it was a nice apartment. You said you want a floor to see windows. Oh, my gosh. She must have hated that. You must. That would have driven me crazy. Yeah. Yeah. She was just like, why do you keep going to the sixth floor and smelling the doorknob?
Starting point is 00:03:44 I was like, you know, Well, thanks. They got a funny way of working out. You live you live now basically in Ridgewood, Bushwick, and you're looking to go out to the island. So Yeah, you guys switch. Yeah, with Chris's mom. Yeah. She would love it. Yeah, she just lost her roommate, so Larry. Yeah, my only last friend. My recipe's by her dog. Oh no, recipes. Yeah, I mean, he was dying for, you remember Larry? For like about 10 years, he was dying.
Starting point is 00:04:13 Cause he was about, when you met him, he must've been about three years old and he already looked almost dead. So he lasted another good five, 10 years. Three years old when you- No, actually no, I'm sorry. He was older than that. He was probably eight years old maybe. That dog No, actually, no, I'm sorry. He was older than that. He was probably eight, eight years old.
Starting point is 00:04:26 That dog should have been in a home five years ago. I don't want to say anything. I'm trying to mind my business. His mother loved it. But the right thing to do would put that dog in a care facility. Fifteen years ago, the dog was blind. It couldn't see with shit in itself. Right. And also my favorite thing about him was that he had anxiety. And he was a dog. But it's hilarious.
Starting point is 00:04:44 But that but they said a lot of studies say that the dog will take on the personality of its owner. So I was dealing with things back then. And but I'm not anymore. I've been saved by Jesus and CBD. Right. Perfect. Yeah. Klonopins are also good for that. Klonopins.
Starting point is 00:04:57 Yannis are really good. We're taking Klonopin. So we call him Yanni Klon. Yanni Klon. Wow. Love it. I took three Klonies and I got it. Do you know anybody who like sells drugs on the street? Because I could make a little buck. I mean she's from Long Island.
Starting point is 00:05:06 Now I don't. You don't. You're from Long Island and you don't know anyone who sells pills. I don't believe you. No, I don't. No. I mean, I don't like seek pills out. Right. You know what I'm saying? I should probably just go to my father-in-law, you know?
Starting point is 00:05:18 Yeah, your father-in-law is a podiatrist. Yeah, he'll know somebody. Yeah. Yeah, he'll know somebody. I gotta unload these clonopens. Oh, wow. Yeah, we can sell them. We can unload these Klonopins. Oh wow. We can sell them for real value on the street.
Starting point is 00:05:27 Yeah, I got a full bottle of Klonopins and there's probably some really depressed comedians right now, I just gotta hit one of these rooftop shows, stand in the back and just be like, I got Klonies, 10 bucks a pill. How do you feel now that the inauguration's over, how do you feel, what's your thoughts on, not the presidential, but the next four years?
Starting point is 00:05:46 How do you feel yeah, cuz first let's everybody about that. Let's preface it. You're from Long Island. I'm from my wife's from Long Island Yeah, basically we can only have one person from Long Island here at a time or else it becomes a Trump rally So that's why we couldn't have takes in archery or else a Trump flag would appear out of nowhere Yeah, and you guys would say take your fucking max off. That's so funny. I see a Trump flag would appear out of nowhere. And you guys would say, take your fucking max off. That's so funny. I feel like it's mixed. I'm not like a Trump. I'm not a Trump supporter. My family is in Trump supporters, right. Which is pretty surprising, too, because like my family, like my dad was in the
Starting point is 00:06:16 union. My family's in the union. But like, of course, I know people, but like my direct, you know, like they're like, blue collar guys. Last time I spoke to your dad He wanted to buy I get the fuck out of my daughter's life He wanted to he wanted he was talking with your mom about buying a pig pen for the backyard. Did that happen? No, it didn't happen. It didn't happen. She wouldn't allow it, but he wanted it right my dad goes through when he retired He became very just like he wanted to try a bunch of different things that he never
Starting point is 00:06:46 Yeah had experienced before And apparently having a pig was a great up on that list. Your dad's a good guy. I remember he we got along very well. And then even after you and I broke up, I remember he still was just nice to me. Like he would still just let me like text him or whatever. He was still just like he would still just I mean, you know, he stopped answering after a while. But but at least initially he was like, it's gonna be okay.
Starting point is 00:07:07 Like you want to know why you want to know why? Cause his daughter wasn't hurt at all. Yes. I was. Yeah. So like when the daughter's hurt, they hate you because the daughter's hurt, but his daughter was flying high, happy as a kite. I bet the whole family was like, glad he's gone.
Starting point is 00:07:21 So go Chris. They almost felt bad for you when they called, they picked it up cause they wanted to see if you were okay. Do they still felt bad for you when they called, they picked it up because they wanted to see if you were okay. Do they still have the picture? Do they still have the picture? Remember one year for Christmas, I gave your family a wrapped up picture of me in a frame.
Starting point is 00:07:34 Do you still have that picture? Do they still have it? Your head shot and it was on a glittery picture frame and you said you're welcome. And that's all you got for Christmas. God, you're fucking trash. That's what I did. Wait, fucking trash. And they put it in. Wait, you made her arts and crafts?
Starting point is 00:07:47 No, no, no. For Christmas, for Christmas, I gave them, I got new headshots and I gave your mom and dad, I gave her mom and dad for Christmas, I wrapped up a picture of my headshot in a frame. And at that point today, they said, Carly, if you don't leave this guy. No, they loved it.
Starting point is 00:08:01 They put it on their mantle. They like thought it was serious. Oh, wow. I still remember your mom's Christmas desserts.. They like great. It was serious. Oh, wow. Right. Wow. Your mom's Christmas desserts bark. It was awesome. Shout out your mom. Great, great family. Yeah, we got I was crushed. Jesse may broke up with me. I was crushed. You cried to me in the middle of Times Square. Yes. Yeah. Nice. Good. I was in Miami and like he started crying and I just got uncomfortable.
Starting point is 00:08:26 I looked at the phone. I was just like, and then the next call was our great manager, Conan Smith, the great the great the great Conan Smith, right? Who used to represent a shout out Conan Smith. He called me while I was talking to Yannis upset. He called me the next call waiting. I got the beep and then I got transferred into all the Comedy Central executives telling me I got a half hour and I was crying. Yeah, you don't look like a guy who should be crying. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:08:53 yeah, worse. Yeah. Yeah. If I saw you in the middle of the street, because crying in public is a whole nother level of like sadness. I would say like especially when a black guy goes, Yo, you Andrew Schultz? No, no, I would say. Especially when a black guy goes, are you Andrew Schultz? You're like, no, no. I know. Leave me alone. Yeah, I don't get recognized for Andrew Schultz anymore.
Starting point is 00:09:09 Yo, girl cold. No, leave me alone. Robert, who we thought was gonna come, you sent a picture of Robert. Beautiful, little tiny fucking pause. Tiny. Robert, I thought we were gonna meet the cap, but it didn't happen.
Starting point is 00:09:23 So let me ask you this, Carly Warley. What? Well, first of all, this episode is coming out. When we coming out February 3rd, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day. No, February, February 14th is Valentine's Day. You're like, well, oh, you're off. I'm well. No. Does any guy know the date of Valentine's Day by heart? But it's like every day is like every day in February is like
Starting point is 00:09:43 could be Valentine's Day to a guy No, but it's like every day is February. Like every day in February is like, could be Valentine's Day to a guy. Which is unfair to black people. Because it is, it's kind of upstaging. Black History Month. I think it was one Valentine's Day with you and I were dating when I, I'm almost positive I had a stomach flu. I'm almost, I don't.
Starting point is 00:09:59 You probably did. I don't remember. There was a lot going on with your bowel movements. There was, there was. Shout out my bowel movements, but shout out, shout out Activia yogurt. It's really helped me out.
Starting point is 00:10:08 Activia, okay. You have the key to colon health is you always have to take S-shaped poop. So if you're having an S-shaped solid poop, that's a sign that you're very healthy. If they're not S's, no good. Yeah. FYI. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:24 That's if the Titanic had a little more fiber in it, it might've stayed up. It might've stayed up. That's what I wanted to bring. You want your poops to float. So Carly's suggestion, I thought it was a great suggestion when we asked her to come on the show,
Starting point is 00:10:34 was Titanic. And it's the movie Titanic, but it's also the history of the Titanic. So I wanted to know why you felt like you want to talk about this. What is the connection to it? I was, when you asked me what I wanted to know why you felt like you want to talk about this. What is the connection to it? I was when you asked me what I wanted to talk about, I'm like, is Titanic even really like your like history or is it just like maritime history?
Starting point is 00:10:53 I'm like, I don't really know if it would be considered, but it was a huge thing. And I you don't understand. I'm obsessed with the Titanic. I love it. It's fascinating to me. Anything that has anything that's like under the on the ocean floor. I'm fascinated. I can't. I can't picture you in a submarine. I feel like you know, no, no, that's a good sketch. We Carly first day in the submarine.
Starting point is 00:11:17 Yeah, she would get me out of here. I would hate it. I would hate it. I'm just fascinated by it. And the people that were on it. So interesting. So even more than the movie, you've actually like like looked at research I would hate it. I would hate it. But I'm just fascinated by it. And the people that were on it, so interesting. So even more than the movie, you've actually, like, looked at, researched, and, like, watched the history documentary.
Starting point is 00:11:31 Yes, all of them. All of them. You never watched history documentaries with me. You watched them with Robert. Okay. Robert was in a little... Talk about submarine. That is a cool backpack you have for Robert. That's a cool backpack, yeah. I watched those stories. They were very funny. Thank you. A backpack with a window, like, that is a cool backpack. Yeah. That's a rock. Yeah. I watched the stories that were very funny.
Starting point is 00:11:45 Thank you. A backpack with a window like a bubble window on it. By the way, Carly go follow if you probably already do, but follow her on on Instagram and tick tock and all that. The funniest, some of the funniest social media content out there, especially the tick tock that went viral when you were just dying laughing at the thing. Can Rudy Julie really truly like oh, you start cracking up, yeah. Yeah, I couldn't, like that was real. People are like, oh, yeah, that wasn't.
Starting point is 00:12:09 I'm like, that was really me laughing. I was trying, I had a whole like video plan that I was gonna do, and I just couldn't get the image of him standing there outside in the back parking lot of this place out of my head. And I just lost my mind. It was one of those things where I was like dying laughing on the couch, and my girl came over, she was like, what are you laughing at? And I just lost my mind. I was like dying laughing on the couch and my girl came over and she was like what are
Starting point is 00:12:27 you laughing at? I couldn't even lie I was like I just think this video is funny and then I just whatever I sat on the couch for a week but it was funny. I really laughed a lot and I loved it. Isn't it wild how... It was worth it. Hasn't it been wild how Giuliani was like this tough mayor that took down the mob and kind of brought the city back and now he's just like Donald Trump's lackey?
Starting point is 00:12:44 Yeah I think about that all the time. It's so weird because he used to be like a true New York guy. And now he's just like a schmuck. Now he's like, yeah, boss, whatever, boss. Yeah, he was the hero savior of 9 11 and like every firefighter's funeral. And I think like Giuliani at that time could have like legit been president. Like I think he's probably one of the only politicians who had like a legit list. I mean, he's got a hardcore.
Starting point is 00:13:11 I mean, he really leans into that left left. Yeah. OK, so let's talk about the Titanic. First of all, it's a lot of people don't know that it was on its way to New York. Did you know that? OK. So it was on its way to New York. Did you know that? OK. Um, so it was 108 years ago. It was 108 years ago. April 15th, 1912 is when it hit the it's when it hit the iceberg.
Starting point is 00:13:35 Now, April 15th, what is that? What's the sign? Go. What's the sign? What's April 15th? What's your sign if you're born? Oh, I don't know. What? I don't know. I only know like my sign. Is it an Aries? Oh, shit. You know, my girl's birthday is April 17th. I should know that. Wow. Thank you, Benetia. What this no, then I thought it was a Taurus. So it's an Aries.
Starting point is 00:13:58 And that's here, we're going to have to edit that part out. Yeah, we got a few parts that I'm kidding. And Valentine's Day is April 27th. Right. Right. I so so it was it was it was a British ship and Leonardo Caprio was on it. So was Kate Winslet. So was Kate Winslet. So was Billy Zane. A lot of people talk about Billy Zane. A Greek kid whose real name is like Zen and Ananakos. Billy Zakatopoulos was on it. And Billy Zane. He was wearing a hairpiece for that movie because he's bald as far yeah oh that's right he was wearing a hairpiece on that he definitely was I am so so if you're if it's you and your cat on the Titanic okay and they Robert be respectful it's
Starting point is 00:14:36 you and Robert right and one of the bailiffs or whatever they're called I don't know who they're called the guys working to ship like you we can only save one of you. Right. And you have to leave the cat. Are you leaving the cat and getting on? I wouldn't want to leave the cat and get on. Right.
Starting point is 00:14:53 I might do like the thing. Do you know the people who owned Macy's were on the boat? Yes. Right? Well, we got her name. What's the woman's name? Just so we could sound somewhat professional. I don't remember her name. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:15:04 It was the co-owner, Macy's's co-owner is adore Strauss and his wife oh is it towards the guy I thought that was the girl I could tell you this about them they did not celebrate Christmas is it right right Ida Ida and is adore Strauss one other could be German kids it could be German kids all right German kids or yeah the German or Jewish may Or Jewish Jews. So co-owners of Macy's were on it. Right. And that was the ultimatum. They told the wife, you could get on the boat, but you have to leave your husband.
Starting point is 00:15:32 And she was like, no, I'm all set. We're going to stay because she didn't want to leave her husband. And they went, this is what they did. They must have had that good day. They knew the ship was going down and they went to their room and they put their pajamas on and they laid in bed and waited to drown. Could you, I mean, name one worst thing to wait for. Like, unless maybe being set on fire.
Starting point is 00:15:56 Yeah. It might be worse. No, I think the worst one of the being eaten by an animal. Okay. But waiting, waiting is already bad. Wait, how comfortable were the pajamas though? Because if they were comfy, one feet. being eaten by an animal. Okay, if you- But waiting, waiting is already bad. And annoying, right? Wait, how comfortable are the pajamas though? Because if they were comfy, wonky-
Starting point is 00:16:08 Probably comfortable, because they were from Macy's. I'd say it's horrible, but probably worse getting eaten by it. But if they were fucking, they worked at Macy's, they owned Macy's, they probably had access to some pretty, meaning they had a lot of loot.
Starting point is 00:16:18 I'm saying the thread count on these PJs were pretty low. Yeah. Whichever one makes them good. They, so they- So she did that for him. Like she was gonna get on the boat. She did that makes them good. They, so they. So she did that for him. Like she was gonna get on the boat. She came back for him. Like I said, that's love.
Starting point is 00:16:31 I feel like today. I would do that for my cat. I would do that for my cat, yes. I feel like today, if that was happening today and that situation happened, she would have fucking cannonballed into the ocean and be like, fuck the patriarchy, bye. And just like got out there.
Starting point is 00:16:44 But so that's very famous couple. Also Benjamin Guggenheim from the American, like the Guggenheim. But did he die though? Yeah, he's dead. He's dead British journalist, William Thomas Steed died. Also John Jacob Astor the fourth. He's my favorite one.
Starting point is 00:16:58 Okay, talk about John Jacob Astor the fourth. John Jacob Astor the fourth. Shout out Astor Place. Exactly, Astor Place, if you're from New York City, Astor Place is named after John Jacob Astor the fourth. His friends called him Jack. But whatever, whatever, you know, like whatever. Sometimes I call him that, you know.
Starting point is 00:17:12 But Astor Place Astoria, Queens is named after him. Oh, really? Oh, yeah, the Waldorf Astoria Astoria Avenue in the Bronx, all these different places. What about Astor Martin? What? What are Astor Martin? Yes, let's just throw that in the Bronx, all these different places. What about Aster Martin? At what? Our Aster Martin? Yes, let's just throw that in. Throw that in there.
Starting point is 00:17:27 Also, Aster Martin. But he was married and then he divorced his wife and married this like he was in his late 40s. He married this young girl. She was like 18 years old. So legal. It was very. Yeah. It was very controversial, very scandalous at the time.
Starting point is 00:17:49 And he was at the time the richest man in the entire world, which was like 30 million dollars. It was like 80 million or something. But like today it would be billions. And his wife also got on the boat and he wasn't allowed to get on. And she was pregnant. And then she made it to shore and had the baby eventually and it was called the Titanic baby.
Starting point is 00:18:10 What was the worst legacy? Yeah, you know that. Wait, so okay, so Aster died, but the baby survived. Yeah, no, she the wife lived, he got on the boat and died. He died. He stayed on the Titanic and died. He wasn't able to get on the boat. But the baby survived and went on.
Starting point is 00:18:27 She got on one of the lifeboats. Yeah, she was Pregel. Because this is what I hate. This is what I hate about the Pregels is funny. And Venity, I want you to pay attention. I'm so happy that women now are being put forward. You're very emotional today because there's a woman vice president. And you know, the past is so horrible for women.
Starting point is 00:18:44 It's so horrible for women that on the Titanic, all the guys said, women and children get on the boat, we'll stay here to die. And we need to put those guys on notice. Yeah, they're on notice. That is so wrong to put women and children first above them. How horrible was it for you in the past when you didn't have to work and you got on a lifeboat and lived?
Starting point is 00:19:06 Honey, if I fucking horrible if I'm being honest with you God, I'd rather work If I'm being honest with you, you rather work and I'd rather work and die today I'd rather be a CEO of a company and fucking go down with the ship like a man. Oh, I'm sorry I meant like a genderless person who has courage or a person with a womb or a fucking baby. Yeah, I would have been on the Titanic when you wouldn't have needed a life vest because you were jumping to water in your butt. Would my fat butt.
Starting point is 00:19:34 No, they said no man. Well, I would have fucking went into the back, put on one of my corsets and I packed tucked it back and got it. I would have said I'm a big lady because you know I'm Chrissy Corsetta. I have her in my suitcase. Cause that's a sketch, let's do that. You show up like that and I'll show up like, that's it, what's up, where's the lifeboat?
Starting point is 00:19:49 Holy shit, put me on that shit. So actually the movie then is incredibly accurate, because I think some of, what was it? Because Leonardo DiCaprio was there. Right, he was there, but the pajama thing. He survived. The pajama thing happened. The very wealthy guy laid in bed with his wife.
Starting point is 00:20:06 Those characters were based off of. Those were based off of real people. A lot of the characters in the Titanic were. A lot of the wealthiest, some of the most wealthiest people in the world were on that boat because it was like the first luxury floating hotel. So it's kind of like the equivalent of like the one percent all died and drowned. So I do think there were people like at because like. My people even had Alexandros on the shore just cheering it. So I do think there were people like at, cause like it's only years later.
Starting point is 00:20:25 My people you mean Ted Alexandros on the shore just cheering it on. Yeah, do you think there are people like actually cheering? Like be like, fuck them, they're so rich. Like I wonder what the pulse of it was in America at the time. You wonder what? I wonder like what it actually was like in America
Starting point is 00:20:38 at the time when it went down because I know people were upset, loss of life, but because they were so rich, I wonder if the, and they found out that like a lot of the poor people died. I wonder like how the people who got on lifeboats felt when they got back home to their families, if they were like scrutinized. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:20:52 I'm sure that they probably felt a little guilty too. A little guilt. Cause like you took someone's spot. 100%. If you were on a lifeboat, there is no way you can't feel, you wouldn't feel guilty about it. But what's interesting is that the ship itself was so way under capacity, like thousands
Starting point is 00:21:06 of people under capacity, but still didn't have enough lifeboats. So it was like a disaster waiting to happen because I always thought it was packed to the gills and they just ran out of lifeboats, but it wasn't even close to capacity. No, there was like two, like, there was like four lifeboats. I don't know, I'm just making that up. And half of them were going going down where weren't required by whatever to have the amount of lifeboats that the capacity was they did have the amount of floaties. They did have them. Everyone had a floaty but that kind of is pointless. Yeah, if you're gonna water's like, it's like an ice capace. It was probably a different feeling in
Starting point is 00:21:41 different neighborhoods. Like I'm sure there was some family members that cried, but you gotta admit, probably like in the black neighborhoods of America, I mean, they just didn't care, right? Well, I don't know. I don't know. A bunch of white people died in the ship
Starting point is 00:21:53 and they were like. Also, I feel like news probably traveled way slower. So by the time everybody found it, they probably found out like a month later that the Titanic sank. Well, yeah, I mean, the Titanic goes down. What was the actual year, V? The Titanic. 1911.
Starting point is 00:22:06 Yeah, the Titanic goes down in 1912. The Titanic goes down in 1912. By the time the news gets there, it's like World War I was starting. So they're like, oh, fuck it, Titanic, mytanic. Yeah. And you know, Captain Smith, he just looks like a dude who boozed hard.
Starting point is 00:22:22 Yes. Like a booze dude with a beard like that. Nobody in the, I want to say this. The captain was Captain Edward J. Smith, he just looks like a dude who boozed hard. Yes. Like a booze dude with a beard like that. Nobody in the, I want to say this. The captain was Captain Edward J. Smith, who went down with the ship. In my memory, nobody in the history of movies looks more like the guy that they're playing more than the actor who played the Titanic Captain
Starting point is 00:22:42 and Edward J. Smith. It's the same fucking guy. It's the same face, yeah. It. Smith, it's the same fucking guy. It's like, it's crazy. And he really went down with the ship, which is like, I guess if you're a captain, that's the only choice. Even if you have a chance to get out,
Starting point is 00:22:53 you're supposed to go down with the ship that's like maritime rules. But I feel like that's changed now. I feel like now this is the only podcast in the history of podcasts where the word maritime has been said twice. Also, because you said before before and I was very impressed. You said, I don't know if the Titanic is history or maritime history.
Starting point is 00:23:10 And I was like, damn girl, because I feel like it is maritime history. I don't even know what maritime means. I got into a college called. So I was like, go ahead, sailors. Damn. I got I got into Kings Point Academy and Sunni Maritime. I almost went to school in Sunni Maritime. Wow. Then you do you do. Your brother went to SunY Maritime. I almost went to a school named SUNY Maritime. Wow. You did? You did? No, my brother went to SUNY Maritime. Wow. She knew about Maritime too. In Throgs Neck.
Starting point is 00:23:32 I went and visited and everything, but I went and I'm not going. It's a fancy word for like Navy, right? Or like sea? It's like the sea. Yeah, like seafaring stuff. Maritime. For the water. Water. For the water history. So I, so, and you know, the tragedy part though too is a lot of people died. A lot of people died, but 78% of the deaths came from the lower, the third tier cabin, which was like a lot of, you know, poor people. And cause this was actually a way,
Starting point is 00:23:57 not the top two floors were luxury ships, but the bottom was like just transportation. It was like, that's how people were trying to get to wherever they were going. So, and those people that scene where they're like locked in, that's true. That's based in truth. A lot of people believe like they just locked them in there
Starting point is 00:24:14 and like knew that everyone was gonna die. That was the feature of the channel. How about this? You wanna know another little wild little fun fact about Titanic? If you stood it up on its tippy toes tippy toes this way it's as tall as the World Trade Center. That's how big that mother is that true Titanic is 1770s. World Trade Center is 1776 feet. Well, I
Starting point is 00:24:37 think the world I think the Titanic was in 800s Venetia. Google it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that would be crazy. Go scale Titanic World Trade Center. Yeah. And we'll see. Now if I was going down, if I was going down. Right. If you were going down, I'll tell you what I would do. All of us were going down. I'm trying to have sex before I'm going down. Okay. Even if it's with a guy. Wow, impressive honestly. Yeah. I mean if all the women are gone, the last thing I want to do is have sex. I would have my first homosexual experience. Okay.
Starting point is 00:25:11 I already had one, but I would have my second one. What would you do? Like if you were going down, right? Like going down and you were like, you didn't want to leave your cat. So it's you and Robert, he's in a backpack and they're going, Hey, what are you doing here with that back market? You from the future? And you're like, whatever, stop asking questions. Right. Carly always looks like she's in Japan. Yeah. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.
Starting point is 00:25:29 That's really true. Yeah. It's true. Yeah. Why do we always look like I'm in Japan? Carly's always coming from Tokyo. And I love it. Because the backpack is like very Japanese.
Starting point is 00:25:38 It probably, yeah. Yeah, it is. It is. So what are you doing? What are you doing? There's a buffet downstairs with cocktail shrimp. That's what I'm going to probably do. I'm going to hit the buffet. I'm going to eat things because at that point you could eat whatever you want. That's if you're we're going to get a silver lining here. I could eat whatever I want. I'm not worried about like oh calories whatever.
Starting point is 00:25:57 That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to hit the buffet because there's really nothing else to do. Other than scream and cry and die. That's it. So yeah. Yeah. What are you going to do? I will say you can have sex, you know, Chris is going to the buffet. Yeah, so people are dancing. Well, to calm myself down, my strategy that I have to cause my anxiety, I'd start reciting the state capitals. I'd start just yelling it out from 50 to one in the order that I have in my head. I'd 100 percent eat as much chocolate pudding as I can. You know, yeah, I probably I think I'd go into hyperactive overdrive.
Starting point is 00:26:31 Yeah, I'd probably kiss boys, kiss girls. I would just go bisexual. I'd go wild. And then I think I personally I probably be because I do have a fear of the drowning and I think you're right. Drowning, freezing the death like that. I'd be scared. I think I'd kill myself before because I'd be like, I can't be found dead with this much shrinkage. I mean, it's already little enough.
Starting point is 00:26:53 You kind of have to. That's probably what I would do, too. I would probably find a way to kill myself. I would go into the kitchen and just be like, chop my foot. You know what I'd actually do like dead serious if I knew it was over. You know what I really do? I try to find a way to finagle myself into wherever the medical kits were, the hospitals,
Starting point is 00:27:08 and take all the drugs. And like, kill- Wow, an overdose. Yes. And at least go down that way, you know? Because chopping your own head off, that'd still be hard. Even though you know you're gonna die anyway. Right, it wouldn't be one, like, clink.
Starting point is 00:27:19 You know what I might do? I might kill a guy. Oh, okay, why? Just like, to see what it feels like, yeah. Like, it's my opportunity to feel like, what it feels like to kill a guy. Because, okay, why? Just like to see what it feels like. Yeah, like it's my opportunity to feel like, what it feels like to kill a guy. Cause like everyone's dying and everyone's frantic. So I just might kill a guy and then people will be running
Starting point is 00:27:31 by going like, oh, he just killed the guy. Nobody's going to be like, hey, stop, you're under arrest. Right, cause he was about to die anyway. You kind of did him a favor. So now I know what it feels like to kill a guy before I die. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'd kill Robert. Okay, you know what?
Starting point is 00:27:44 I'm leaving. I'm kidding. I. Yeah. I'd kill Robert. OK, you know what? I'm kidding. I hate that. No, I'm kidding. I love it. Oh, you can't do that. I want to tell you, there was a woman. OK, so the Titanic had two sister ships, the Olympic and the Brit, the Britannic. Right. OK. And there was a woman that was on all three and the Britannic blew up.
Starting point is 00:28:11 Oh, because the sister ship and because like it hit a mine. Yeah, like a German mine or something. Yeah, that the Germans put in the ocean and she survived. Oh, she survived all three because the first one got into a crash. She was on it. The Titanic sank and the Britannic sank, which is the let's get her on the podcast. She's probably the unluckiest, luckiest sank and the Britannic sank, which is the... Let's get her on the podcast. She's probably... I mean, talk about the unluckiest,
Starting point is 00:28:27 luckiest person in the world. I know, but it's like after the first one crashed, if that's me, I'm going... Can you pull that up, Natia? Never going near the water again. Never, yeah, you're going to... I'm not gonna go on the Titanic and then survive the Titanic
Starting point is 00:28:38 and then go again on the next one. Yeah, no, because... She's fucking crazy. I've heard of this Britannica thing because I think like they were sailing in international waters and it actually was like not even an act of war. It was a hospital ship. Yeah. And it was an accident and they they yeah, it's the biggest ship to go down
Starting point is 00:28:55 in World War One. Yeah. Her name was Violet Jessup. Oh, Violet is in the final names. If I have a daughter, Violet is in the final two. Great. That's a great Violet or Charlotte. And if it's a daughter, Violet is in the final two. That's a great name. Violet or Charlotte, and if it's a boy, Donald or Benjamin. Look at that hair. She looks like somebody in the studio audience of the Long Island. She does. What was her real name?
Starting point is 00:29:17 Go to the right a little bit. Her real name was Bala Bianca. Yeah. After the second time, she only died in 1971. This lady lived a fucking sick life. I know. After the surviving three boat crash. That's crazy. That's a crazy fact. In her defense, after the first one, I agree with you. Yeah. But then after the second one, she's probably going, it's not going to happen a third time. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. These are like one in a billion things that are happening and they happen three times just to her. I understand her confidence after the second one.
Starting point is 00:29:48 She's probably going like, all right, lightning doesn't strike three times. Right. They called her the unsinkable woman. I think. Yeah. Because she truly was. Yeah, she was unsinkable. I, yeah, that's a fascinating thing. I didn't know anything about Violet Jessup.
Starting point is 00:30:01 Somebody needs to do a movie on Violet Jessup. What a crazy life. Yes, my idol. Really? Who are who is your actual idol? Would you say? Like mine's Whitney, you some Japanese pop singer. Yeah, K-pop. Oh, gee, do gee, do gee, gee, gee, do gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee that K-pop band? Horchee Top. Oh, I thought the band was K-pop. No, that's the genre.
Starting point is 00:30:28 Oh. Yeah. I thought K-pop was the band. I love K-pop bands because it's like all Chinese guys and then one guy with blonde hair. We dyed his hair blonde. Bleach blond, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bleach blonde. K-pop.
Starting point is 00:30:39 And he's like the lead singer. The girls' groups are the same too, the K-pop girls' groups. All right, look, I mean, cause you got a nice beard. I got a nice beard and I tell you what, since everyone stopped going to church, you can grow your hair out now without saying, you know, cut your hair. Yeah, you could do that easy. And you know what's been good is Duke Cannon.
Starting point is 00:30:54 And you know what's nice about Duke Cannon is Duke Cannon, first of all, you get in at Target, you go to Duke Cannon.com. All you got to do is go to Duke Cannon.com. This company is so wild, there's not even a promo code. You just go to Duke Cannon.com or you go to Target and you get the Duke Cannon stuff. But it's nice because it's for your beard and Duke Cannon, it's one of those things where it's like,
Starting point is 00:31:12 it's a product for your beard, but it also could be the name of your beard. You know what I mean? Or it could be a good porn star's name. Imagine a guy named Duke Cannon. I mean, a kid's got a piece, he's packing if your name's Duke Cannon. Duke Cannon, cuz it's a nice, nice name. And I mean, everybody loves going to Target. I mean, got a piece. He's packing if your name's Duke Cannon Duke Cannon cuz it's a nice nice name and
Starting point is 00:31:26 I mean everybody loves going to Target I mean when you go to Target you're just gonna find things now go look for Duke Cannon when you're there They got beard they got the best damn beard oil you've ever seen and they also got the best damn beard bomb So if you got beard oil and beard cuz and here's the thing because we're just living a very progressive society It doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman. If you want to get your beard cute, use Duke Cannon. Yeah, I mean, you got beard wash, beard oil and best damn beard bomb yet. Bomb. Try to say that three times. Beard bomb. Best beard. Best beard.
Starting point is 00:31:56 Beard bomb. Yeah, it's the best damn beard bomb. Basically, these are products to make your fucking beard look. Yeah, absolutely, cuz make twenty make 2021 the year you help your beard fulfill its potential with high quality beard goods from Duke Cannon. Yeah. Pick some up the next time you're at a Target or visit ducannon.com to peruse the full line of,
Starting point is 00:32:20 the camera's blocked, I mean, just go to Target and get Duke Cannon, they're paid big money. Guys, the key to life is hydration. Are you talking about water? No, I'm talking about Liquid IV. Oh, nice, I've heard of this Liquid IV. They got all different kinds of flavors too.
Starting point is 00:32:37 They got, and it's got more vitamin C than an orange and as much potassium as a banana. Yeah, cause Liquid IV uses something called cellular transport technology, which means the opt, it gives you the optimal ratio of glucose, sodium and potassium. These are things you need or else you go to the hospital and they gotta get your potassium levels up.
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Starting point is 00:33:52 like I did. LiquidIV.com, promo code wild, 25% off, yas, yas, yas. Yas, yas, yas. What's up, it's Chrissy Standups. Listen, February 12th, 13th, Valentine's Day weekend, I'll be doing Atlantic City, New Jersey, the Celebrity Theater, then February 25th to the 27th, hot, hot, hot, Phoenix, Arizona, House of Comedy. Then just added March 6th, the Vogel, Red Bank, New Jersey.
Starting point is 00:34:13 We just added two shows there. Go get them, the tickets sold out real quick last time. Go to chrisdcomedy.com for tickets. That's chrisdcomedy.com for tickets. I'm Chrissy Standups. Let's have some fight. Yeah, I am. Oh, here we go. Echo Blackpink 17 Big Bang Big Bang.
Starting point is 00:34:31 That famous one. Yeah. Who's imagine? Who's the famous? Who's the famous K-pop band? Yeah, Tokyo 7. Have you been to Japan? Sushi for yeah, I did a USO tour in Japan.
Starting point is 00:34:42 Whoa, Jesse. How was it? It was so much fun. Do you feel like the sushi is better there? Like what? Yeah, it's better. Yeah. Yeah, it's better. Did you have did you did you have to use chopsticks for every meal? Like even if you like wanted like french fries, they make you use chopsticks. Well, it's crazy because we were going to all the different military bases.
Starting point is 00:34:59 So you're eating like unless you go off the base, you have to go off the you're eating like McDonald's and and like, you know, you go to Tokyo. We drove through Tokyo. We didn't. But we stopped a bunch of places on the way because our like the different bases were like hours apart. So we would stop and get food and get like ramen and stuff. But I've never done a USO tour. I wish it's fun. It's fun. Japan. You ate ramen. I'm not running like sushi. Oh, yeah. And we had, yeah. Like you were studying when?
Starting point is 00:35:28 No, ramen, like authentic Japanese ramen. The real shit, the real shit. No, they give it to you like in a machine and you put your numbers in a machine and you take it out and they bring it to you. I eat sushi now when last when we spoken, I wasn't eating sushi, but Janis got me to sushi and I like it. I order sushi a lot, but I do eat it with a fork because I don't want I still do consider them the anime.
Starting point is 00:35:47 He does. Yeah, he does. Starts playing a banner before it and then he has a moment of silence. What kind of sushi do you eat? Do you eat like, um, Philadelphia rolls? I only get the ones with the American names. Like, do I get a Philadelphia roll? A New York roll?
Starting point is 00:35:56 And a Boston roll. And a Boston roll? Thank you. Yeah, sushi's good. Sushi's so good. How have you been through the Pandy Wandy like stand up and eat sushi? I've been to the Pandy Wandy. I've been to the Pandy Wandy.
Starting point is 00:36:04 I've been to the Pandy Wandy. I've been to the Pandy Wandy. I've been to the Pandy Wandy. I've been to the Pandy Wandy. I've been to the Pandy Wandy. And a Boston roll. And a Boston roll, thank you. Yeah, sushi's good. Sushi's so good. How have you been through the pandi-wandi, like stand-up-wise or work-wise? Like, how's life been? I mean, it's been, I've been like super careful and haven't been going crazy with anything. Have you traveled at all?
Starting point is 00:36:19 I've gotten on a plane or done any of that? Not really, no. Will you, though? Like, you think you would? Eventually, yeah. But I feel like it's so weird because it feels like it's the worst now that it's been numbers wise, but it's not as like...
Starting point is 00:36:32 Scary. Scary. Do you feel that way? I think we become numb to it. It's like become normal, right? I'm like the numbers keep going up and everybody's just like, yeah, I'm going to Tulum. It's like, what? How weird is that? Tulum, I heard when you go to Mexico, it is like fucking you throw the mask off
Starting point is 00:36:48 like they don't give a fuck. The Mexican government. Yeah. Which is like, you know, whatever. You know, Long Island, New York's like five, six percent, which I find this hilarious. I actually brought it up last night at the dinner table. I was in Tennessee and Nate started cracking up. I was explaining to Nate how Long Island is very Republican a bar Gatsey and and then I said yeah, and then we were I was talking with my in-laws at the dinner table
Starting point is 00:37:10 And we were like we were like yeah, you know some of these restaurants Nobody's wearing masks and then someone was like what's the rate? What's the rate now in Long Island, and then we googled it and my brother-in-law just went ooh 12% yeah, the Long Island's 12% wow you go to a sushi restaurant in Long Island is it is wide open, wide open wide open. I think there should be 12%. Yeah. Hi, that is that's a lot. That's a lot of square foot. It should be a square footage rule because I think like at least in New York, it's like a regional thing. But it's like the people
Starting point is 00:37:39 here are like feel so stupid because they're like why in Queens a restaurant is closed indoors but then right across street Long Island it's open like that was a dumb thing and it's also like they say that the restaurants are closed and you can only do outdoor but they've literally built tiny restaurants outside of restaurants yes what it's like oh go sit in this heated tent with a door and like enjoy your meal it's the like, it's the same thing. My father who's got diabetes, heart condition, all that, wears the mask on his ear. He won't put it over his face.
Starting point is 00:38:11 That's just how he is. He's a fucking idiot. And he's just, and he moved to Tampa. He's in Tampa Tony now. He lives in Florida. That's right, he lives in Tampa. He's bug chasing, he's following COVID. But it's like, what am I gonna tell that guy?
Starting point is 00:38:21 It's just like, hey dad, whatever you wanna do, you could do, I mean, you know. my parents have been pretty good with it and trying to they wear the mask and my mom wears like gloves when she goes a little dramatic. But she does that. Yeah. And the Titanic, too. It's like what COVID like now it's like, is anybody ever going to get on a cruise ship again? Like, I wonder if that's I mean, cruises should be like illegal. Anyway, this one good thing that comes out of COVID, hopefully is the end of fucking cruise ships.
Starting point is 00:38:48 It's so true. Let's go trapped in a fucking germ bubble and eat shit food served to us by Caribbean people. Yeah. I went one time when I was in high school on like a trip, like a senior trip or whatever, and it was a nightmare. And everyone on the boat was seasick because we went through a tropical storm.
Starting point is 00:39:07 So people were just throwing up everywhere. You looked. Yeah, it was a nightmare. I went on a cruise, just me and my mom to Nova Scotia, Canada. When I was 12 years old, my mom was going through a breakup and she was like, we're going to get out of here. And then we went to fucking on a cruise to Nova Scotia, Canada. I was just a girl there. I got a kiss a girl on the boat that she had braces on. I cut my lip out of here. And then we went to fucking on a cruise to Novus, you kind of, I did kiss a girl there. That was probably beautiful.
Starting point is 00:39:26 I kissed a girl on the boat, that she had braces on, I cut my lip, I remember. Oh wow, okay. But the boat is you're just like on a boat. And then you, when they docked, they're like, all right, you got an hour to see this country. I don't want to be on a schedule. Yeah, I don't like it.
Starting point is 00:39:37 I don't want to be on a schedule. I honestly don't like being on a boat. Right. Like I'm never like, I wish I was on a, like I want to go on a boat ever. Yeah. I'm kind of like, are you a Mexico girl more like a Europe girl? Are you like Ibiza? Or are you more like, let's go to Tulum? I like Europe. But I also like to go to Tulum. I go to Tulum. Usually I didn't go this past summer, but I usually like try and go like once a year. What's better? What's like the
Starting point is 00:40:01 thing in Tulum? That's like different. It's really earthy. It's very like it's not as commercial as Cancun. It's kind of like you stay in a little bungalow, like on the beach. There's no air conditioning. There's no like they get their water. By a cartel and murder. No, I've never felt that way, but I will next time. No, because like Mexico, that's what they do. Like I think if I was going to Mexico, like we don't like a cartel want to like get you.
Starting point is 00:40:26 And then so funny because I was there with my friend last summer, not this past summer, the summer before. And we went to a party and we took a hit of a weed pen. And my friend that I was with was convinced that a cartel was going to come get us. And I was like, girl, it was my, it was my friend Ashley. I'm like Nobody cares she's like well we we did drugs. I'm like girl We took one hit of like a weed pen it might have even been a jewel
Starting point is 00:40:53 They're not gonna get mad. I mean the government's like a man you ever go to like a pharmacy in Mexico You can like buy Oxycontin. Oh, yeah, you can buy Oxycontin you just walk in. Yeah. Yeah, here's five dollars No, I know I always worry about island you can get pills in here's five dollars. No, I know. I always worry about. It's like Long Island, you can get pills. You can get pills. From you. I mean, Long Island, you can find pills. No, let me tell you something. You can find steroids, pills, and a good vital. No, let me tell you something right now. This is 100% true. There is a person in Carly's hometown that is selling the vaccine out of their basement right now. That is 100% fact. 100% certainty. 100% certainty. Yeah. That would have been who I married if I stayed there
Starting point is 00:41:25 Yeah, like if I never left do your grandpa who got or your grandpa's husband who just who got a fucking full Tattoo on his back at 90. He got a full he got a full body tattoo He got his chest his stomach his arms at 90 leaves and his back. He was like 80. He's still alive No, he died. What's his name? His name was Joe. I remember him. Yeah, and he would go- Joe Aquilino. No, his last name wasn't Aquilino. He was my grandma's husband. He wasn't like my mom's father.
Starting point is 00:41:52 Was he Italian? Yeah, he was Italian. What was his last name? His last name was Dagostino. Dagostino, like the restaurant. Yeah, like the restaurant. Not related to the fancy Dagostino. No, not related to the fancy Dagostino.
Starting point is 00:42:03 And when he would go to- Like Jack from Titanic, remember they said, are you related to this one? Right. though. No, not related to the fancy dagostinos. And when he would go to- Like Jack from Titanic, remember they said, are you related to this one? Right. That family name, because he had some- And he was like, no, I'm poor. He was like, no, he's from the Wichita Fall area. Right, right.
Starting point is 00:42:12 And your grandpa was like, no, I'm the Comac dagostinos. Right. He went to get tattoos and he tipped the tattoo artist, who was also my tattoo artist, he tipped him tomatoes. So he was very cheap. No, I remember him. He was very cheap. He's a Jersey tomatoes guy. He grew tomatoes, he gave them to the tattoo artist, he tipped him tomatoes. So he was very cheap. No, I remember him. He was very cheap. He's a Jersey tomatoes guy.
Starting point is 00:42:26 He grew tomatoes. He gave them to the tattoo artist. These aren't just shop right. These are fucking Jersey tomatoes. Yeah. As if it was money. The guy's like this. Like he was on a fucking island in Italy.
Starting point is 00:42:37 Like, these are good. Tomatoes are my mother. I remember the first time I met him, the first thing he said to me, like, you were like, oh, you're like, hi, this is Chris. And he was like, hi, nice to meet you. No tattoos? I was like, no. I don't know me, like you were like, Oh, you're like, Hi, this is Chris. And he was like, Hi, nice to meet you. No tattoos. I was like, No. Why? That's that? Yeah. He was super into them when yeah, he was like,
Starting point is 00:42:52 old. I've always wanted to do this. And then just got his whole body tatted. My dad got his ear pierced at 50. Wow. He just got it pierced. But then he had to it had to um, it got infected. In fact, so he had to close it and he had to go on antibiotics almost died. pierced but then he had to it had to um it got infected got infected so he had to close it and he had to go on antibiotics almost died just from the earache. He did not. Yeah, it had a reaction with his diabetes medicine. No.
Starting point is 00:43:15 It really did. It did blow up. Yeah, his ear was like this. He was like, oh my god, why did he even get it? Well, cuz I went to go his house and he was like, he was like, I got my ear pierced. I was like, I know. He was like, this is normal. Right. And I was like, no, no. I have a full spear of broccoli growing out of your earlobe. And then he took medicine, but it was it was it was, you know, reacting with this diabetes stuff and got infection.
Starting point is 00:43:37 Yeah. And he took it out and he tried to put it back in again on his 51st birthday. He's a guy who really survives. He survived because I remember one time he went. He almost went down from pepperoni pizza as well. He went to pepperoni pizza. We almost died eating a pepperoni pizza. He wasn't pepperoni pizza. He cut. He thought when I was a little kid, he thought that my.
Starting point is 00:43:54 No, no, no. Recently, when he went to the hospital. Oh, yeah. Like chicken wings. The lasagna. Yeah. Well, he he go last Christmas. He ate like lasagna and pizza and all this stuff. And his sodium got to the point so high that he almost like he put himself. He gave himself like a congestive heart failure, which is like. So like a team of doctors, a team of doctors were like, you have congestive heart failure called me called my friend who's a doctor, you know, my daughter's
Starting point is 00:44:21 godfather were like, oh my God. And my friend was like, listen, congestive heart failure, like it gets worse and worse and worse and blah, blah, blah. And I was like, Oh my God, like so upset. And they like, but literally the test showed congestive heart failure. And then like a couple of hours went by and he drank a bunch of water and it went away and they were like, Oh, it's because he ate a tray of lasagna and full and like four slices of pizza and chicken wings and tiramisu.
Starting point is 00:44:42 And the doctor told us he's never in his 30 years of medicine ever seen someone give them congestive heart failure symptoms from food. From one meal. From one meal. And then my dad was just like, didn't care at all. Like he was like ready to go back out there. He was like, if something's gonna get you, it's gonna get you.
Starting point is 00:44:57 I love that story. Yeah. That's amazing. Well, God bless, I'm glad he was. But I thought you were talking about the time when he was watching, I've told this story before, but he was watching me. I was a little kid I was 10 years old and we had a Dalmatian named Cruella and she had a chew toy that looked like pepperoni and I went to
Starting point is 00:45:11 The bathroom and my dad cut a piece of the chew toy because he thought it was real pepperoni He made it and was vomiting in the corner until my mom got home So so nature has been trying to kill your dad a lot. A long time, yeah. Your dad is violet Jessup essentially. He keeps surviving all of these things. Nature's trying to clean him out, but he just keeps popping back.
Starting point is 00:45:35 In April of this, of you know, middle of the- Darwin's trying to do his job. I mean, death by lasagna is hilarious though. He would have them ass-kulled. I mean, death by choking on a fake pepperoni He's pretty like he saw a pepperoni toy on the floor and he's like, Oh, somebody dropped a pepperoni stick. And he was taking he would take the bus to come see me with the mask on his ear in April and never got COVID
Starting point is 00:45:55 nothing not even a cough. Nothing was around multiple people out of COVID never got it at all. No, he doesn't even have the antibodies. It just bounces off his body. Yeah. I don't know why dating Chris did you think he was, were you under the impression he was Italian like I was during that time? Well, he's half. He's got like a 10th.
Starting point is 00:46:13 Yeah, well we did the ancestry.com and proved that I'm mostly German. So that's what- You're mostly German? Yes. How wild is that? I thought you were half and then Irish. Right, well my mom is definitely Irish
Starting point is 00:46:24 because she's got the red hair. Your mom is definitely Irish, yeah. But my dad isn't as Italian as we thought and it's mostly German. Now was this an identity crisis for you? No, I mean. He did buy a Nazi jacket. A little bit, a little bit.
Starting point is 00:46:36 Yeah, I did. This is like your thing. My heritage, I was just like. Not a Nazi but because it's a cute Hugo Boss jacket. And I had put on a lot of weight. Hugo Boss made the Nazi uniforms. And it was a long jacket. It was the only thing I would hide my ass, because I really put on a weight in my ass.
Starting point is 00:46:49 But do you remember when I did David Letterman and we went to Joseph A. Bank and bought the suit off the rack in a shopping center? Yeah, I went with your dad and he was like, this one goes, and it was like the most oversized, not fitted suit. Do you remember that? Did you have to get it fitted? No, I didn't get it fitted. We didn't have time because I was like the most oversized, not fitted suit. Do you remember that? Did you have to get it fitted?
Starting point is 00:47:06 Or were you just one string boxy? No, I didn't get it fitted. We didn't have time because you, because I was like, oh, I'm doing Letterman tomorrow. And you were like, you need a suit. I was like, I don't have a suit. Oh yeah, you was gonna wear jeans. I'm like, what?
Starting point is 00:47:14 Yeah, I didn't know. And then you're like, well, we have to go get a suit. And your dad was like, I know just the place. And then we went to Joseph A. Bank. We went to like men's warehouse. Yeah, and I just put it on and I came. And I remember my agent at the time, Ayala Cohen, who's a great lady, looked at the suit and she was like, is this what you're wearing? And I was like it on and I came and I remember my agent at the time, Ayala Cohen, who's a great lady
Starting point is 00:47:25 looked at the suit and she was like, is this what you're wearing? And I was like, yeah, I'm in the green room with the suit on with I'm already mic'd. His suit was so big on him on that. That's so funny. Yeah, you look like you were a bouncer at Gotham. I remember. Yeah. He was just it's all to other suits aren't fitted because they're just like fucking meathead.
Starting point is 00:47:48 And they were that same one. And I remember after Letterman, we went I went to the village lantern to do comedy and you were like, why are you doing this? I was just a letterman. I was like, you have to come with me. But I think it's a thing as comedians like we're just like wanted to feel painful. Yeah. But I remember you before you went up, you kept you asked the sound guy 14 times if he was sure that your mic was on. Yeah, I kept it. He was like, yeah, like it's on. It's professional. And you were like, I just have a feeling it's not. And I was like, I can't hear my why can't the crowd hear me? They're like, because John Travolta
Starting point is 00:48:19 is doing a segment. Your mic's off. Oh, my God. I think the guy actually wound up saying I've been doing this close to 25 years. Yeah, because you asked him so many times. I was nervous. Yeah, there it is. Look at the suit. I don't think the suit is that bad. It was big. The pants are big. Yeah. Yeah. Well, because you didn't have to let him in at the end, right? Thank you, Mr. Letteman. I said thank you, Mr. Letteman. I mean, he couldn't care less. My legs. Yeah, yeah, I think I think I farted too. You don't have a good church suit like one good. Now I yeah, I think I farted too. You don't have a good church suit? Like one good church? Now I have suits.
Starting point is 00:48:47 Now I have suits. But I didn't have, no, because Catholics don't really wear church. By the way, I didn't know Biden was Catholic. Did you know that? I did. Yeah. Oh yeah, so he's either first Catholic. Second.
Starting point is 00:48:57 But since JFK. Yeah, since JFK, yeah. Wow. Yeah. Is JFK the hottest president of all time? Yes. Or Obama? JFK. I watched a documentary last night on JFK Junior. Wow. He was a hot.
Starting point is 00:49:06 He was a hottie with a hot tea. I am real estate like yummy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I watched his documentary and Chris Cuomo did like the commentary on it. And it was like Chris Cuomo was like, I think he's the hottest guy alive. Yeah. That was like part of the show. Yeah. Cut this guy dead. What? How does God dead? How does God dead? Yeah, I know. It's like the Kennedy's got like a curse.
Starting point is 00:49:29 Now you're also speaking of Cuomo. You're a big Chris Cuomo fan. Andrew Cuomo. I know she likes Chris Cuomo too. I like all of that. I like all I like everyone on the news. I don't know if this like yes. And I don't know if this past year just because I've been watching the news so much, I'm just like becoming attracted to like the most random, like nerdy white guys. Every guy on MSNBC and CNN, I'm just like, oh, I love him.
Starting point is 00:49:54 I gotta be honest. Chris is cute. No, they're both good. Chris Cuomo is gorgeous. He's gorgeous. And he's tall and he's muscular. No, he's tall and he's muscular. I remember. I remember.
Starting point is 00:50:06 Yeah. Are you kidding? His brother Andrew's got a bell pepper ass Jackson five nose. They went, we all went. Come on man, you're from Long Island. Fucking. We all went to get him. I wanna go to the Hamptons with this whole family.
Starting point is 00:50:17 They went to my high school, our special Maloy high school. No, they did not. The Cuomo brothers, yeah. Yeah, they're on the wall of fame. Oh my God. Yeah, Ray Romano, Cuomo brothers. Oh my God, Ray Romano, love him too.
Starting point is 00:50:26 But Chris Cuomo really is, I mean, he has gorgeous sparkling eyes and he's just gorgeous. Yeah. And Andrew's like got the attitude. Right. You know, he's got the attitude. Andrew's a politician, yeah. He has that energy of like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:37 He's got that big dick energy is what you're saying. He has big dick energy, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, now in Long Island, nose jobs are kind of like a rite of passage, like Sweet 16. Right. You didn't need one. You got a great nose. I didn't. I got lucky. You got a great nose. No surgery. Now do you have a lot of friends who had nose jobs? Yeah, girls I went to like school with and people I worked with. I used to be a hairdresser. Girls that I worked with at hair
Starting point is 00:50:59 salons throughout the years and stuff. No, because I remember, because I remember. It's a big thing in Long Island. I forgot exactly where we went, but I remember it was two friends of yours that we met in like the course of like a month or whatever it was in my head, but both of them had bandages on and black eyes. And I was like, do they beat, are they getting beat? And they were like, no, they got nose jobs.
Starting point is 00:51:16 And I was like, no, they got nose jobs. I remember that. Yeah. I was like, no, they got nose jobs. That's funny, dude. Because you see someone in Long Island who has that, you're like, is your husband being, and it's like, no, it's just, I'm getting my nose cut.
Starting point is 00:51:25 Right, yeah. It's just like, yeah. But I remember that, but- Did you have a Sweet 16? Yeah, it's a thing. No, I did not have a Sweet 16. So, Comac is a big Sweet 16. No, Comac was big Sweet 16.
Starting point is 00:51:35 But it's where I work in class. A lot of barbers, a lot of Sweet 16s. But my parents were like, do you want a Sweet 16 or do you want to go to Florida? And I was like, I want to go to Florida. Which is smart. Why'd you choose Florida? So I stayed at the Hard Rock Hotel.
Starting point is 00:51:49 Yeah. And I got- But with your parents though, your parents went. My parents went too, yeah, no, but it was like, they were like, do you want to have a sweet 16 or do you want to bring your friend to Florida? Like they paid for your friends to go.
Starting point is 00:52:00 Yeah, so it was, I was like, I want to bring my friend to Florida. Yeah, right. You know, and then we did that and it was really nice and we got the special pass you get to cut all The lines at Universal Studios, Florida amazing your brother one of your brothers lives in Florida. Yeah, my brother. So does yeah, he loves it Your parents definitely saved a couple dollars on that cuz the sweet 16 is probably more expensive probably more expensive Dad is smart. Oh, if I look cuz that's sounds fun I'm going to go with my friends to Florida. It's so much better.
Starting point is 00:52:27 Yeah. If more dads just did that, they could save a couple thousand dollars. I also never was into the idea of having a big party. Right. Like, a Sweet 16 or even, I don't know, weddings give me anxiety. They do. Yeah, they give me anxiety. Why is that?
Starting point is 00:52:41 I don't know. It's just a scary thing. Right. Just a big party that's all about you and everybody has to like it's like illegal if somebody doesn't come up to you and just like compliment you. It scares me because I don't know how to take the I don't know how to be like, oh, you know, you want to be married, like found like the right. I don't know. You don't care.
Starting point is 00:53:00 I don't. I'm just like if it happens, it happens. But I'm not like searching for it. Right. You know, I'm not like if it happens it happens but I'm not like searching for it right you know I'm not like on a time schedule for it. One thing we do know if you do find that right guy if he says hey do you want to get married and you go uh and he goes do you want to go to Florida you're gonna be like yes let's go to the hard rock camp so many guys watching this right now they're gonna DM you you want to go to Florida so just shut go to Florida? You want to go to Florida? I love that. Just shut them off. I would love to go to Florida with all of you.
Starting point is 00:53:28 You could do anything to Carly. You could steal money. She'd be mad at you and be like, Carly, I bought you a ticket to Florida. I got you a ticket to Florida. I forgive you. Yeah. Meanwhile, they're $40 right now.
Starting point is 00:53:38 I would love to go. Yeah, they're really cheap. I'll risk it all to go to Florida and go on some rides. Is Universal Studios even open? Yes, Universal Studios open. Disney's open. Disney is actually now a very large center to distribute the vaccine. So you can go there. You can get the vaccine. Swear to God, you can get the vaccine in one part of the park
Starting point is 00:53:57 and then go hit the rides in the other. You're vaccinated. That's the wildest thing I've ever heard. I went to Disney last year and to get going to Disneyland to get a vaccine is so American. I went to Disney last year with my mom and daughter, and I had chlamydia. Did they give you medicine there? No, my friend was a doctor.
Starting point is 00:54:17 I swear to God, I told this story before. My friend is a doctor, called it in. I was describing to him my signs and symptoms. And he was like, yeah, that's the act of clamp, the act of chlamydia. I'm like, well, what, he was like, where are you? I was like, I'm in Disney World. He was like, what? Are you just sitting there listening and going, I let this good one get away. Yeah, she knows. And just regret it, you know? How did I let it slip through my fingers? That could have been me, that lucky girl at Disney World where he's going, I got a bird, I don't know what it is.
Starting point is 00:54:46 I got a bird, I remember, I remember I go in and he calls it into a pharmacy like a CVS in the Orlando area and I had told my mom and daughter like, hey, I'll be right back, I have to take a call for work. And I went. And you went and got your No, I got in a fucking Uber, like a Minnie Mouse Uber that had like Minnie Mouse polka dots on it. Told the guy to wait for me there, CVS ran in,
Starting point is 00:55:03 I didn't realize, I think I put a picture of it, I think there to wait for me there. CBS ran in. I didn't I didn't realize this. I think I put a picture of it. I think there's a maybe there's a picture on my Instagram or like a Disney Instagram. But I was wearing like like a goofy propeller hat that my daughter made me put on. Every dad does it. And I went and picked up chlamydia medication with the goofy propeller hat and then got back into the video thing and I popped the pill and I started to feel better. And you got put on the DILFs and I got put on.
Starting point is 00:55:24 You had a burn. Yeah, I put on the DILFs. And I got put on the DILFs. While you had a burn. Yeah. I was, somebody comes up to me, literally, it's me, my mom, and my daughter were sitting down eating at, I forgot what the, it was the guy from Beauty and the Beast. What's the guy from? Oh, the Beast?
Starting point is 00:55:37 No, not the Beast, the fucking- The candlestick? Guston. Oh, the teacup? Yeah, Gaston. Gaston's restaurant, it was Gaston's restaurant. I was having the Gaston meal. It was like chicken fingers and french fries and like this shit.
Starting point is 00:55:50 And I was sitting down eating the food and literally cutting up chicken fingers and like feeding them to my daughter. And somebody comes up to me and goes, oh, hey, I just saw you on Dilfs of Disney. And then my mom's like, what's a Dilf, honey? And I was like, oh, my God. I was like, dads that love to have fun. She was like, that doesn't spell Dilf. I was like, let's hit the rides.
Starting point is 00:56:07 That is so funny. That's so crazy. Yeah, it was there. And they tag you. Yeah, I think it's Dillps of Disney World or Yeah, it was last year. Krista Stefano, did they tell you that you told about maybe we could look at you and we can see that at that moment, you presently had a nice picture of me and my daughter, but I was I was fully I was crazy. Drift drop. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:26 That's the last time I had chlamydia and I haven't looked back since. So good for me. Good for you. It's not on this. It's not on my I.J. Good for you. What are we saying? That story is the most Florida story I've ever heard. It's a very Florida story. Pulling up in a Minnie Mouse Uber with the propeller hat, getting chlamydia medicine, leaving your child at Disney World.
Starting point is 00:56:44 It's one of those things too, where I bet you, if I told that story to people in Florida, they'd be like, oh, it's just like a random. It was Tuesday. Yeah. Yeah. So, but yeah, that was, so the rides are open now and I'm ready to go. I'm ready to walk back in. I'll go on rides right now.
Starting point is 00:57:00 I'll put the mask on even though Jazz is pregnant. She's the same. She's like, we'll just fuck it. Let's just go. You want to go hit the rides? Let's hit the rides. We're trashy. Okay.
Starting point is 00:57:08 We're trashy white people that like we like, I enjoy rides. I just enjoy the amusement park. Like if I had a sweet 16, which I wish, you know, I wish I could, maybe I can have like a sweet 40. I, if my mom and dad were like, what do you want for your sweet 40? I'd ask to go to amusement park.
Starting point is 00:57:24 I'd go to great adventure before I had a party. There's so much fun. There's so, so much fun. Did you ever go to Adventureland on Long Island? 100% On Long Island, my grandma- The log flue? Yes, my grandma, the haunted house.
Starting point is 00:57:33 I got stuck in the haunted house once with my cousin. Oh my God, did you cry? You cried. Of course, you know me. I fucking... Of course, you know I... I knew you were gonna say you cried. That's so scary.
Starting point is 00:57:42 Yes, I got stuck there or the fucking the roller coaster there. I forgot what the name of the roller coaster was, but that's the place my grandfather would take us there once a week. I love right for national coliseum. Adventureland. They closed it the fuck down. So much fun. And the and the and the ship. Yes, of course. That would go back and forth.
Starting point is 00:57:57 It's a freaking Titanic. Somebody died there. I think that's why they had to shut it down. Yeah, somebody got. Oh, yeah. Some kid got like flung off of a fucking ride into the parking lot. Fuck the Long Island. Yeah, I know. That's some they had to shut it down. Yeah. Somebody got killed. Oh yeah, some kid got like flung off of a fucking ride into the parking lot. It's fucked up Long Island. Yeah, I know. That's some Long Island shit.
Starting point is 00:58:09 That's some Long Island shit. I mean, whenever, I think you call it the buccaneer at Great Adventure, that's scary. Can you imagine being on the ship when it's going down? Oh my God. And also you're sitting there going, you're pissed too, cause you're going like, didn't they say this fucking thing was unsinkable?
Starting point is 00:58:23 Right, that's the thing. It's like embarrassing at that point. The marketing team fired. Everybody should be fired because it going like, didn't they say this fucking thing was unsinkable? Yeah. That's the thing. It's like embarrassing at that point, the marketing team fired. Everybody should be fired because it's like, you called it the unsinkable. And it literally was like, got a cut this big. And it went down in the. I know, and one of the engineers was like,
Starting point is 00:58:35 oh, we never factored in if it hit an iceberg. I was like, why are we going across the Atlantic Ocean in winter then? Well, the captain was so like arrogant about it that they knew that they were in an iceberg field or whatever they call it. But he was just like, it's unsinkable just go through. And the architect was on the ship, Andrew sign, right? Andrew, Andrew Santino.
Starting point is 00:59:00 And he was on there too. So just people were confident that, hey, the architects here, all these rich people here, usually rich people don't go down like that. Right. You know, usually the rich people are in the thing that doesn't sink. Like they live to be like 140, like Dick Cheney's on like his eighth heart or whatever.
Starting point is 00:59:16 Right. Like they just keep rich people alive. So you figure this ship wouldn't go down and the of Britannica would go down. Yeah. And the Britannic went down. It's the biggest, did I say this? It's the biggest ship that went would go down. Yeah. Yeah. And the Britannic went down. It's the it's the biggest. Did I say this? It's the biggest ship that went down in World War One.
Starting point is 00:59:28 Yes. Right. Right. But the Titanic is just like the craziest, most fascinating story to me, because so many things like this, so many things go wrong. Right. And it's just it was destined and it was destined. It's still at the bottom of the ocean today. I think you can still go on tours. I think you can go on a tour and go on a tour anymore. What? Well, what's so interesting is that in like 20 years,
Starting point is 00:59:50 Titanic's going to be completely gone. It's going to be just completely worn away. See barnacles just from the sea barnacles and things like that. Yeah. Yeah. It's exactly how maritime history works. Sea barnacles eat it. Sea barnacles. But it was 70. It took them 70 years to find it. How wild is that?
Starting point is 01:00:07 It's a fucking giant boat. Look, but that's how shows you how vast the ocean is like a plane that went down. The Malaysian airline that went down three years ago in the middle of the ocean. They still to this day haven't found it. I think about it every single day. I think about it every single day. I have the answer. Yeah, I found it. Like that is like, yeah, how did you not find out? How did you not find Osama bin Laden for like a year, right?
Starting point is 01:00:27 You know, I think that's on purpose and then they buried him at sea. Yeah, I've been watching Homeland You ever watch Homeland now, but I got a good show It's like even now this I'm up to season 7 right now which came out in 2018 So two years ago, but it's all about like what's happening right now. Like it's about year inauguration It's about transfer of power the Russians getting in and they took and it's all about like what's happening right now. Like it's about inauguration. It's about transfer of power. The Russians getting in and they and it's all about that shit. And it's about like even like finding terrorists, like what? How long that the CIA knows that they're looking right at them.
Starting point is 01:00:55 But they they have to time things. It's just like a whole bullshit thing. But I don't I've really I you could either when you find stuff like that out, you can either go down the rabbit hole and be like nervous and upset every day, or you can just let go. And that's why I've just fucking completely let go. Yeah. I don't care. I love to watch stuff like that.
Starting point is 01:01:12 It doesn't affect, I don't let it like affect me, but it is like, I mean, I feel like everything's scary. Do not watch, by the way, do not watch, even though it's fascinating, the night stalker on Netflix. I watched it. What? Oh my God. It was the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life. How did you watch that?
Starting point is 01:01:26 It was so scary. I could only watch it during the day. I watched it with Robert. You watched it at night by yourself? Yes. You're fucking crazy. I'm crazy. I'm crazy.
Starting point is 01:01:35 I watched it in one sitting, didn't blink the entire time, the entire series. That's how crazy I am. That last episode, the third episode, when they finally say Richard Ramirez and they hit the music and they show His face for the first time got chill. I literally ran into my daughter's room. She was at school Yeah, I was terrified what a fucking lunatic
Starting point is 01:01:59 Disturbing it's so disturbing this guy was like, oh and you want to know what? He died of like natural, he got sick. Lymphoma, yeah. Which is like. But wait a second, wait a second. You can watch being like a woman alone. By myself, live by myself. She said, at night. At night with my cat.
Starting point is 01:02:17 Lights off, watched it. Lights off. And you don't. Look right at it. Didn't scare you at all? It was disturbing. It was disturbing. It was disturbing. I wasn't like scared.
Starting point is 01:02:26 So you can watch like investigation, discovery, investigate. You can watch that by yourself alone, lights off at night. All the time I do. I can't do it. Every single night I'm watching something wacky. Like that's what you fall asleep to. Yeah, I love it.
Starting point is 01:02:37 It's comforting. I can only watch that stuff during the day with family members there. And then it always fucks with me because for like four or five nights, like right now, because I just finished this two nights ago yeah I still actively am sleeping with the lights and TV on wow probably till next week and wow yeah that's how I roll okay our fans know he that's just yeah stuff it doesn't get to me I've never been jumped or attacked or
Starting point is 01:02:59 anything because you know I guess because Yannis is like oh well you're like a bigger guy but I don't think that's not a guy you would like, you know, you would think that he knew how to defend himself. Right. Right. Yeah, I would think that. Right. Right. Right. It looks tough. As long as nobody talks to you and like gets to know you. Right. Exactly. Because then they would be like, Oh, this guy's so nice.
Starting point is 01:03:18 Yeah. You look more threatening than you are. I actually am. Right. I actually am. It's like, yes, like all you have to do is like if you if there's if you if you show up to rob my house and you bring a cat, I'll just sneeze myself to death and you'll just be able to steal everything and tie me up. Right. Very easy. Physique of like a German soldier with the soul of a Jewish woman. Woman. Yeah. That's what it is. Yeah. Now how long did the Titanic took a long time to make with thousands of people working on it They worked on it for like a couple of years, right? Right on its first voyage out
Starting point is 01:03:54 What a waste of everything now you believe any of the Conspiracies. Okay, what are they get into that? Well one conspiracy is that Jesus put it down because there was sinners on the boat Yes that I believe another read actually in the Bible. Yes, that was in the Bible. Now another one is that there was a couple of Jews on the boat and Germans sunk it just because they have an old grudge. That's number two. Is that a real? No, I'm making those up. Now we get to the real one. Yeah. What are we reading? It was a vindictive woman. Her ex-husband was on there and she fucking shot a torpedo. She made the icebergy iceberg yeah she made the iceberg she fucking whittled it
Starting point is 01:04:29 out of ice to kill him that's the third one the fourth one is now this is the real one that they did it fall the insurance money that I've heard that I've heard from Long Island you're familiar with criminality. What happened? To me, I don't think that it was for insurance money. On the first go around, it's gonna sink in the middle of the ocean. It's too many. Also, there were a lot of really wealthy, successful people
Starting point is 01:04:56 that probably invested in the fucking thing anyway that went down to the ground. How about this? Do you think the mafia and the Cubans? I've learned that the mafia somehow is involved in everything that's ever happened. Yes. How wild is that? And the Russians usually to the Russians. Isn't that weird? The Russians and the mafia show up in the Trump conspiracy.
Starting point is 01:05:18 And they also show up in the JFK assassination. Yeah, because mafia, the criminality. Yeah. I think that Titanic was ISIS. That's that's my experience. They put the iceberg there because it's ISIS, Isisberg, it's an ISIS iceberg. I mean, we just figured it out. You figured it out.
Starting point is 01:05:38 It's an ISIS. You deserve credit. What credits do I'm not even going to share credit with that. That is beautiful. Thank you. I mean, it was right there in front of us. I do remember. Iceberg, Iceberg. Too good. Yeah, so it cost 1.5 million GBs,
Starting point is 01:05:52 which was 140 million in 2016. Yeah. Yeah, euros, which is like around double that. And it hit the Iceberg at 1140. I was a kid in 1910, so that meant I was watching the Honeymooners on channel 11. That's what it was.
Starting point is 01:06:09 So listen, you know what they should do though? It's interesting why they never just made another Titanic. You know what I mean? Well, because it's such a sad, like it has such a bad history. Why would anybody be like, I'm going on the... Well, you would think like some really rich person who loves the Titanic would just be like,
Starting point is 01:06:24 I'm gonna make it now. That's like building the twin towers again. I mean, let's just build one of them. Bad marking. That's not one of the twin towers. That's a whole new different thing. It's in the spot of the twin towers, but it's not like a replica.
Starting point is 01:06:38 Right, right. She's right. Now the guy who found the Titanic. Yes. So the guy who like 70 years later like you said yes He found it and then they celebrated when they found it I saw it, but then he said and I don't believe him you tell me if you believe him He goes we celebrated because we found it he goes, but then I thought he was virtual signaling, right?
Starting point is 01:06:59 He goes, but then I realized we were celebrating Mm-hmm, and there was so many people who died here. Right. And so we I went back up to the boat and I told everyone let's have a moment of silence for all the souls lost. Do you buy that or was he just doing that for the cameras? I think he was probably doing that for the cameras. Although it is I mean there's a lot of bodies down there.
Starting point is 01:07:20 You know so it is like a burial ground. They never found the captain's body. Yeah they haven't found a lot of them. I mean it is like a burial ground. They never found the captain's body. Yeah, they haven't found a lot of them. I mean, it's been a hundred years. It's been over frozen under there like the water. Is it not cold enough? It's like the you tell me you're the maritime fish eat the bones and they get, you know, worn away just by the elements. That's crazy that we've probably eaten
Starting point is 01:07:39 fish who have eaten pieces of. Right. And that's special. That's something special that I could kill a fish and eat it? Could you eat a, I understand you can't eat a cow while it's living and bleeding out, but could you, if I just got a fish and bashed its head, could you take a bite out of a freshly dead fish? Sushi, sushi's.
Starting point is 01:07:57 No, is it clean or you literally just grab a fish out of the ocean and bash its head? I take one of your, I take a cigarette lighter and I try to get as much as as hot as possible. If it's fresh like that but if it's not clean I'm not I'm not trying to fish. We have like guts and. Wait real quick and we can we can edit this out if you don't want to talk about it but remember what your brother told us or you told me that your brother said that he thought cows the white was milk and the spots was steak. Yeah. thought cows, the white was milk and the spots was steak. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:24 Your brother's from Comac, Long Island? Yeah. I thought your brother wanted to kill you. He's like what? I read it on the internet. No, no, she wanted to talk about a guy who can hurt you. It looks like you hurt you. That's her brother.
Starting point is 01:08:39 It's true. Your brother's actually a great guy. He's so nice. Can we say that? Just repeat that for me again? So he thought that all that, cause you know how like different steaks, different cuts of steak, they're all different shapes, right?
Starting point is 01:08:52 Somebody said we were eating dinner as a family, every, you know, like we used to do. And we were younger, we were teenagers though. We weren't like five. Okay, at 30, he wasn't like 27. No, but we were like, well. He was old enough, he was like 16. Yeah, he was like 17, 18. You should know like five. OK, at least that wasn't like twenty seven. But we were like, you know, enough. He was like sixteen. Yeah, he was like seventeen. You should know where the steak comes from. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:09 And you should know that cows aren't translucent and there's not milk where the white is. So he was saying that all the different cuts of steak are shapes of circles on the cow. And that's how they're all different shapes. And the way and I said, well, then what is the white party said it's milk? It's no said that we were straight face. No, because how they're all different shapes. And I said, well then what is the white part? He said, it's milk. And he said that we were straight face?
Starting point is 01:09:28 No, because you were saying at dinner, the way I remembered is because you said at dinner, your mom gave him a piece of steak and he was like, Ma, you gave me a bad spot. A bad spot! And she was like, what do you mean, honey? And he was like, one of the spots, you gave me a bad spot.
Starting point is 01:09:39 And then that's when you perked up and started looking at me like, what the fuck is this guy talking about? And he thought you like cut the spot out and you pull, you pull the spot out and then you slice the spot. I mean, So basically your brother's good will hunting. Yeah. When did he graduate Harvard?
Starting point is 01:09:57 He graduated Harvard. Yeah. Shout out your brother. That was a fun time. Well, you know, I can't make fun of him cause I used to think till I was like teenager that to have sex, you just plug it in and then you just hold.
Starting point is 01:10:10 Oh, okay. Yeah, I just, I didn't know about a pump. Like I just thought you just go- That's very cute though. That's cute that you just put it in and then it comes. And then you just kind of wait like your phone's charging. I used to think that the way, I used to think
Starting point is 01:10:22 you just wait, you know, just wait for something. And it just, it has like nature takes it and puts it in. I didn't know you had to put it in yourself. I used to think that I used to think that if you had sex with someone and your blood going to go to hell, Catholic boy, you had sex with someone. And if your blood mixed with their blood in a bad way, that's how you got AIDS. I didn't realize that like I I thought it was like, you could get AIDS and HIV. Is that what the guy who you fucked raw daddy
Starting point is 01:10:48 told you? He said, he said, I don't have AIDS. Yeah. So that's what I used to think. Like it was a chemical reaction, which gave you AIDS. But now now I'm pretty sure that's not true. Yeah, like you thought if blood touched other blood, like if you had sex with someone and it was like you are, you know, you were being, you know, you're, you're AB positive and they were all negative, That could give you AIDS. Okay. Blood types. Oh, blood types. Not even blood.
Starting point is 01:11:12 And I was probably in my early twenties before I was like, you know, what do they mean? So wait, before you would sleep with someone, you would say, what's your blood type? I want to make sure I don't get. No, I think I just live free and wild. Oh my god. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. I mean, it's clear from this podcast. None of the three of us are scientists. We're not scientists. Neither is your brother. No, we could start we could but we could get hired at Trump University. Yes. Yeah, I'm a teacher at Trump. Your brother could teach farming. Yeah. Trump University. Let's
Starting point is 01:11:43 say you got to get the good spot on the cow. Right, right. We had a good time. We talked about Titanic. Anybody go to patreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. Follow us there, support us there. Tell us the shit we missed at the Titanic. Carly, where can people find you? Tell us whatever you want to plug.
Starting point is 01:11:57 You can follow me at Carly Aquilino on Twitter and Instagram and on TikTok. My name is Fashion Girl 42069. And what else? Oh, my podcast is called Secret Keepers Club. I did an episode, we did an episode on Secret Keepers. Yeah, Chris was on Secret Keepers Club. We talked about how he crapped his pants
Starting point is 01:12:16 and then drove five hours sitting in it. Wow. Go check that out. Secret Keepers, go check that out. It's my favorite story. And then, hey, listen, we have 25 percent off a limited time offer. Go to history news dot com slash merch. Get the merch. It's 25 percent off Valentine's Day, especially where she so is there a promo code for it?
Starting point is 01:12:35 V-Day put in the put in the promo code V-Day, which is for Valentine's Day, not vanity a day. And then also to follow me, Christie comedy dot com. I got shows in phoenix uh... new jersey and tampa coming up so go get tickets christy comedy dot com or his trainers dot com all right what's up patriot names as always we encourage you guys to make a funny cute name go wild
Starting point is 01:12:59 we pick a p p w cedar penis of the week this is the best restaurant you know here we go start off the squally g of on the Giovanni aka chicken parmigiani Good one good one good one That's that's gotta go on the list on the less. That's a goodie Wow number one on the list. There you go We got father $3 Bill Clinton loose on the island blessing kids in a different way Chris DiStefano aka Christine O'condom. They got James. I got co covert toes, but I'm still a cute kid with a good piece. Ruedick
Starting point is 01:13:27 Pepe LeFumes, which is funny. We've had it already though Wadro then we got this podcast is a big pharma front to promote vaccines at Kalanipin and binkies. I Don't know what it cut off at then. We got fat shit on a canvas going to draw Muhammad in a different way Then we got Nikki. My glue stick is the KKK because it always has a white hood on Schubert. Drexel tough. Let me got a full Marissa and Das list or I come see you in a different way. Sean Sheehan.
Starting point is 01:13:59 Good one. We've had pieces of that. So I'm going to say nice attempt, but just other people have done those. Then we got to go to SMC Jeff and Sean suck Andrews cock for Sunday Monday off. Okay. Then we got Jonathan Good then we got the itsy bitsy Chrissy went up Westchester's spout cracked open Marisa and rigorously cleaned her out. Drexler Drexler. Then we got Steven Chrissy would get cracked open and cleaned out if my nana's maiden name.
Starting point is 01:14:26 It gets cut off, I'm sorry. Then we got Chrissy D's piece, gave my obese Middle East niece the yeast. Drexie, Drexie. Then we got Randy Shannon. Then we got Jake Deterbidware in German, yearning for Yanni's scrote skin goats. Then we got Max the Dirty You.
Starting point is 01:14:44 Arm pit, arm pit, leg pit, vagina. Then we got a Fuma Arnold Trump 2020 the election was rigged. Then we got Mad Dog's mom. That's going on the list. Yeah, that's a chicken finger. Then we got Chrissy Confederate the gland fissure of the cute cucks clan okay they got unsculpt Custer with the rod up his piece on the grease as we come at the Indians then we got Alex aka Venna Antifa made my glue gun sneeze like Wuhan and now I'm gonna have to cut off I'm sorry then we got Jacob Hewley not a Jewie sometimes I wank it but not like Louie that's a that's a strong Drex.
Starting point is 01:15:26 Then we got Chrissy Cumqueen, Flick My Boy Bean, Yanni Klondes, Fumarco Rubio 2024. Then we got Eddie Murphy's Trans Prostitute. Drexler, those are all Drexlers. All the ones before the two Yanni Klondes is. Drexler. I mean that's a Drexler. I mean, that's a Drexler. I mean, those could also be on the list.
Starting point is 01:15:46 I mean, those are just like good. Then we got Leroy selling mixed tapes in the shallow end Johnson. Then we got Princess Diana's bones and the Temple University fumes. Then we got Tim Dillon's lesbian Airbnb mortal enemy. Then we got Big Dick Priest, the priest that doesn't touch the children.
Starting point is 01:16:04 Then we got Junaid, Chrissy, give me the D. I've got you nade Chrissy. Give me the D I'm not gay, but I'll suck your P Muhammad. Uh-huh then we got Chris I wish Veneti was 16 to Leah Then we got Chris aka Matthew McConaughey in the movie days and confused Alia Then we got filthy sauce bucket built like Kirby pocket, but make no mistake. We'll suck it Then we got filthy sauce bucket built like Kirby pocket, but make no mistake. We'll suck it Okay, funny funny funny. Then we got farm fresh grade a chicken fumer
Starting point is 01:16:35 We got Mary the pillow biter Durkin. Uh-huh. We got Tatiana Christy D is a real treat, but I just can't get over those feet It's what it is a peta is epitaph good one. Then we got Spaniards snuggle my ancestors non consensually Then we got for Rome, creamy Yanis, left eye while Chrissy shows TLC to his new tat, waterfalls, ain't homo guy, John 316, it's what it is. Then we got Whitaker, why taker, ball bag, candy bars, the third. Then we got 323, it's just an empty one. Then we got Collie.
Starting point is 01:17:04 Yeah, it's just an empty one. Just empty. Then we got Collie. Yeah, it's just an empty one. Then we got Collie Gabriel. Then we got Chris Priscilla Jones, Mike Bliss, Shannon glass sheen fat Channing Tatum Tatum. Then we got Amy. Then we got penis Yoppas the Grecian demon sticky semen. Then we got Kyle Mitchell, Jessica Hawkins, Heidi, Chris Dotson. Then we got Steve, who make no mistake is up 20 and listens to this to distract from all the fumes at the gym. Then we got Nick Zamora, Creighton, Venetifa, Isu Yaya, I have your phone and who is Jamal? On the list. Then we got Eric Hansen. Then we got the Albanian, who's here to destroy Yannis, whether he's Greek or a Turk, because make no mistake, they're both the enemy to me. who's here to destroy Janus whether he's Greek or a Turk, cause make no mistake, they're both the enemy to me.
Starting point is 01:17:44 It's a good one, it's a Drexler. Then we got Janus, I'm Greek but my dick don't leak. Papas, Charlie Sanderson, Ingy Snare Johnson, Erica Vaughn, stay at home mom, down with the Patreon. Then we got Jordan Shuckin in Horan, Max Whelan, Roy Nava. Then we got the Jesuit Toot, flogging the Pope's poop chute,
Starting point is 01:18:05 and bettin' him three bucks, Father Bill will bury the menorah in Christie's flora. Then we got Chrissy Cumqueen, Flick My Boy Bean, Richard Nofumes, AKA Randy Never Sandy, then we got Mike Potato Monkey with Fumes Cavanaugh, MR, Gary, Mitchie B, then we got Stick Chrissy Dick Stefano in My Yon Ass Pop Hole,
Starting point is 01:18:25 then we got Mark Norman gave me H h pylori in Tulsa, Oklahoma Patrick strang then we got Dalton named so white Tom Hanks is my internal monologue hide Funny then we got Chody Peter Chody Peterskin Benjamin Patterson David Pollock Andrew Kushevinov then we got the sweetest the sweetest squeak of Manhattan high guys Then we got cutie Julie with the smoothie named Damien with the from with the from the band called 137 I don't know. I got the Nardo cocoa lafumes Weishan winning Escobar Kenny gourmet then we got Christopher cauliflower ears grab some ranch Edgar and then last but not least we got make no mistake It's Yanni yeast infection and Chrissy cancers because push juice causes throat cancer Then we got Christopher cauliflower ears grab some ranch Edgar and then last but not least we got make no mistake
Starting point is 01:19:05 It's Yanni yeast infection and Chrissy cancers because push juice causes throat cancer. It's what it is. We shun she in So that's the list So the finals finals are Pasquale Giovanni aka chicken parmigiani Mad dogs mom then we got Chris. I wish I was vented Chris. I wish Veneti was 16 Delia. Then we got Veneti. It's your Yaya I have your phone and who is Jamal? I think that's the winner. I'm going with that one is the winner To me that wins thoughts Alright, yeah, we're going with that one. Alright, so which one Mad Dogs mom or Ducks mom or I have your phone and who is Jamal so there you go patreon.com slash Bay Ridge boys go check us out all the funds there every week coming at
Starting point is 01:19:52 you web stuff add your names to the list we have a lot of fun the $50 tier you can actually join the show one lucky person will join the show for the $50 here so go do that and yeah come out the clubs theaters all that venue starting to open again I got shows Christy comedy comm Phoenix Arizona side splitters in Tampa and we got the Vogel theater in New Jersey so go check them out all the dates are up there and yeah it's fucking cute Steve cute Bye!

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