History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - China vs. The Boys

Starting point is 00:00:00 No Frills delivers. Get groceries delivered to your door from No Frills with PC Express. Shop online and get $15 in PC Optimum Points on your first five orders. Shop now at NoFrills.ca. Hello everyone, welcome to another episode of History Hyenas. I'm sitting here with my co-host, Christine DiStefano. Hi, my name is Chris Pappas. I'm Frank. You look very cute in glasses though.

Starting point is 00:01:01 Yeah, I feel good. I feel... you can't see. I can't see anything right now. Where's Jesse? Who are you? Oh my God. There's Jesse. But here's the thing with your new curl and your glasses right now. You're Christopher Reeves, but you're Superman but your Clark Kent right now. It's what it is. But instead of superpowers, what comes out is full Franks of beads. It's what it is. Franks of beads. It's what it is. I'm Clark Kent now. Then I take these off and now I'm Superman and then I start drinking and I'm paraplegic. Yeah. Do you think your superpower I think would be you would be manic man. I'd be mad

Starting point is 00:01:34 at you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like what's his power be like he's going to get a lot of things done. He'll be able to talk to you on the phone while he's texting while he's moving. Yeah. And while he's putting Cruella down. That's what it is. Cause you tried to kill your dog with fucking dishwasher soap. That's what it is. Cause and make no mistake, if this is another time, I would have ate it for Christmas. Yeah. Rest in peace, Larry. And that you said we're going to eat it for Christmas is very appropriate

Starting point is 00:01:56 because today we're talking about a group of people that likes to eat dogs. Yeah, they like to eat dogs for food. And that's the Chinese. This episode is about how, basically how China became the enemy. This episode is brought to you by America First Foreign Policy. It's what it is because we are preparing for January 6th. We did a deep dive so you don't have to. Today we're investigative reporters and what we found out is we did a deep dive. So yes, we know the Jews crawl into your shoes. So when you're around them, make sure you lace up tight. But what we found out about the Chinese is that they can turn invisible.

Starting point is 00:02:35 They can fly. They can fly. And what they can do is they could just get into the real estate market. And that's another thing they could do is give you an all cash offer and you're going to take it. And I know what you're thinking. No, no, no, America first. I voted for Trump.

Starting point is 00:02:48 Oh, we got to keep the neighborhood Irish. We got to keep the neighborhood Italian. I'd like to sell to a nice Italian family like my family was on 86th Street off of Third Avenue. But guess what? When that offer comes in, you go, you know, you know, keep talking. LLC is offering cash and the McCormick family is offering under asking price and ask me if it's okay if we don't renovate the house because it

Starting point is 00:03:11 has a lot of family tradition and they want to go under asking right but Tink Tink Tink Tink LLC is offering me cash asking it's what it is so I'm gonna look the other way and I'm moving to Staten Island it's what it is that's what I'm doing because Zhu Zhu Wang came in with an all cash offer and you just got to sell it to him. Now this episode will be tunnelling into I O E I. Here's the thing we are committed to not saying the F word in the first 10 minutes but we are not committed to not doing Chinese accent. So if the YouTube algorithm wants to demonetize us even further and push us down the algorithm then that's just what it's gonna have to be a weirdo don't look at it yeah and what they predict is that China is going

Starting point is 00:03:46 to be the top dog the top economy by 2030 yeah and that made me upset so you know what I'm gonna do what I'm getting pedicures every day for the next month to get these Chinese at my feet it's what it is that's a good idea I've been having it's gonna pay pedicures and say yeah yeah that's where you belong because you know what it is cuz I've been house. It's cooking pay for pedicures and say yeah. Yeah, that's what you below Because you know what it is cuz I've been keeping a Chinese household just to prepare I come and take my shoes off and I shouldn't hole in the backyard Loud boy, just kidding. Yeah, not only can they turn invisible, but they can fold up They can fold up like a table and fit into a suitcase So a lot of people are worried about nukes getting snuck into the country. I'm worried about fucking.

Starting point is 00:04:26 I'm worried about. Yeah. The Patreon, you slip it in duffel bags. Duffle bags. They're sneaking them in. If you want to hear the good stuff, go to patreon.com slash history hyenas. Cause we are demonetized on YouTube. So we got to keep it in line, but make no mistake.

Starting point is 00:04:41 I'm going to Miami this weekend. And when I open up my suitcase, I'm not sure if a couple of Chinese kids are going to come flying out. Cause they fold up like origami. They do fold up. They're very, very, very ergonomically conducive and they can fit in all things. I just want to say right now, January 18th, we will be in Washington DC at the Lincoln Theta. Yes. Chinese welcome, by the way, the Chinese are welcome. Chinese are welcome to buy all the tickets up that are not sold for cash yes we'll perform to an empty room

Starting point is 00:05:08 as long as the tickets are so but right now we're selling we're on pace for sellout on pace for sellout that's what my agent said but my agent is known to lie because this is frisbee here's the thing he's an ultimate frisbee it's ultimate frisbee and cuz make no mistake that show on January 18th at the Lincoln Theater in Washington, DC is our first live History Hyena show. The only way that you can submit questions that we will ask or have a chance to get brought up on stage is go to patreon.com slash history hyenas, submit a question, and we're going to take a lucky Patreon member and they're going to come on stage and make no mistake,

Starting point is 00:05:41 we want the Chinese to treat those tickets like they're little houses. Okay? Just buy them up in cash right now. Buy them up or treat them like food in Styrofoam. Just kneel and sit down on a curb and eat it all up. And make no mistake, if I see one more comment of one of you fans getting mad that we're plugging the Patreon, why don't you suck our Chinese assholes? Only because we got them monetized on YouTube.

Starting point is 00:06:01 So this is the way we're trying to make a living because make no mistake, I bought a house that's too expensive on Staten Island. Yeah. And I just need help again. From a Chinese LLC. Now here's the situation. Yes, I did a reverse Chinese. He did a reverse Chinese, which is good. When I was in San Francisco, I was there at cost in San Francisco because what did Rome do as the Romans do? But it is. Yeah. But I was there on the Chinese New Year. True story, and when I was there, they were setting off fireworks. Now I'm not used to what's going on and nobody warned me about the Chinese New Year, so I was there and when you're in San Francisco, you just see Chinese.

Starting point is 00:06:33 They're the Puerto Ricans of San Francisco. So I thought that the invasion had started and I tripped a couple Chinese guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's what it is. Thank you. Yeah. Jesus Christ, get on that button because today we're fucking hopped up on goddamn cocaine. I knew Yanis, I knew Yanis was a rap. Look at that, because we're coming from the big boy's birthday.

Starting point is 00:06:51 It was Jesus' birthday and I'm proud to be Christian. Yes, and your hair was raised to the roof this morning when I came in. It almost looked like you had hair implants. I don't know what happened, but now your hair is back to normal again. Cus, did you take a shower last night or this morning or no? I didn't take a shower this morning. I know when you come in dirty. I can tell, I know when you come in with a dirty ass.

Starting point is 00:07:08 Yeah, yeah, I got a dirty ass right now. What percentage, and the fans wanted to add, wanted to bring this back to we will, what percentage clean is your ass today? Right now, because I sweat, I did sweat last night and I woke up and it was wet underwear. I'm gonna say the moisture takes me from a 79 to a 67 percent, I got 67% precipitation in my ass hole.

Starting point is 00:07:26 Wow, so you're 67% clean ass. I gotta be honest, I took a shower right before coming, but I did fart a little bit on the way here, so I'm 92% clean ass. But guess what, you wanna know why we're both safe? Why? I brought witch hazel pads. Yeah, it's a little sweet.

Starting point is 00:07:37 So all we gotta do is give it a nice little dab and you're ready to fucking get rim job. That's what it is, cause now Jesse, you had a Staten Island Christmas, so I know you ate a lot of Italian food. We are two days past Christmas, but what percentage clean is your ass? 85%. 85% not bad.

Starting point is 00:07:51 85% clean. Yeah, I would never go 100. You could never go 100 with a clean ass. You can go 100%. Maybe right after the witch hazel white. Yeah, what you gotta do is the best way to do it is take a bath so you can soak that thing. Rub it with your hand, rub it with a bar of soap, get really in there.

Starting point is 00:08:06 And then when you get out, two tabs, two tabs of a witch hazel pad, or after you take a shit, you can get it back 93. 93. The way you get it in 93 is you have, you got to have one of those bidets. Bidets. You got to go French. You got to let that water soak for a good seven minutes. Just let it spray.

Starting point is 00:08:23 I say seven minutes because it feels good. So why not just let it happen? What it is. Cause the problem is with me with the bidets, every time I let it spray my ass, I wind up peeing on my chest. Cause I get a boner. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:08:42 Yeah. It's what it is. Cause it goes in the ass and it comes out the penis. And it's what it is. Cause water goes in the ass and it comes out the penis. It's what it is because I get instantly hot. Let's be honest. It feels good when it touches your asshole. It feels real. I move it around.

Starting point is 00:08:53 I shift it around like that. I shift it around. Yeah, you have to. Yeah, I get up like this and I just move it around. Because I don't know if there's more pleasure than getting the asshole stimulated. That's what God wants. That's where he put the pleasure button.

Starting point is 00:09:07 Yeah, that's what it is. And let me just tell you something. Let me give you a little tip. If you move around a little bit and you let it hit the taint, definitely go pure. That pressure on the taint, I don't know what it is. Just a hard, you gotta make sure you got a nice, hard stream from that but day and just let it hit that taint.

Starting point is 00:09:21 It's what it is, and make no mistake, we have not said the F for it, but the content has just gotten us all the way down. Once again're down because it's just who we are. Yeah but I mean I'm not gonna change for the algorithm. We're not gonna change who we are. I'm not gonna change who I am. We're just a couple of souped up kids that obviously got what we wanted from Santa. I got what I wanted from Santa and make no mistake it's this North Face jacket that I got from Santa that's kind of brindle shit green that my girl bought me and I do love it I want to say publicly I love it, but I'll tell you the truth. I'm patriotic We see that jacket. Yeah, I because it's just a nice. Yeah

Starting point is 00:09:51 No, that's totally like I just want you to be safe in the streets because it's close enough It's close enough to look like the gang. What's the gang? I'm talking about and look close enough to the colors of the line king also enough to leave you alone But also enough that you look like an off-duty cop, so I want you to just be safe when you walk around, because I don't want you to get beat up. I don't want you to get beat up. This is what we, this is a Sunset Park special. That's the Sunset Park, that was nice.

Starting point is 00:10:15 I got that shit from DSW. Because make no mistake, I'm very happy to have it, but make no mistake, my girl got me a North Face, and I got her a trip to Florence. So it's just a little different. Well, can we just call it what it is? Models is Puerto Rican Bloomingdale. What is it? It's what it is.

Starting point is 00:10:33 We're so shamed. Yeah! No, but I'm happy. I was coming out of the fire room with like the way we need to do when the Chinese fucking invade and they storm the beaches of Santa Monica, we gotta be ready. We have to be ready and that's what this episode. Pepperdine University is gonna be the front lines of the fucking Chinese storm.

Starting point is 00:10:49 Because here's the thing with the Chinese, what they're doing, the way I can describe the Chinese is they're picking up speed. Yes. Those kids are picking up speed because if you just go back to the 1970s, China had a non-existent GDP, they were literally in like, how many countries are there?

Starting point is 00:11:05 350, they were in like 348th place. Cause it was like 80. It was not, yes, it was a non-existent GDP. They were not at all on the map and then they changed. I wanted to learn the Chinese names, but make no mistake, cause I don't know the difference. You just gotta drop a bunch of silverware and then. That's what it is, yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:24 A lot of 14. And then you're gonna come up with 10 names just by accident. Yes fucking I don't know maldech long that guy Big tongue. Yeah, my mind out maldech. He's a thong. Here's the thing. It's not people that's racist No, they can't pronounce our names either. It's just a different culture Yeah Shut up with the picking which culture are allowed to make fun of and which culture you're not. Because I see a lot of you motherfuckers on there going, oh, Luigi, I'm Mario, but that's okay you pieces of shit.

Starting point is 00:11:50 Right. Yeah, ask a Chinese guy to try to pronounce Larry, our Uber driver or Larry the dog that Chris tried to kill. Yeah. You know it's not going to come out loud. It's going to be called, it's going to be Rari. It's going to be Rari and that's what it is. And Rari the Uber driver that we posted the episode of our time in Austin at patreon.com

Starting point is 00:12:05 Such history heinous. He did tell us that he can't he shoots blanks He did tell us the shoots blanks got no prostate and we illegally recorded him But Jesse did a screwed in move and didn't put any of the video out there instead It was all audio and then we are kind of saying yeah that way and I don't think Larry's ever gonna do any research to find Out what happened and we may just start karmakazeazzing Uber drivers because it ended up being a very fun idea. Did you just think of car macazzing? No. That's a 10 out of 10.

Starting point is 00:12:31 Yeah, I think we car macazzing. Car macazzing is a 10 out of 10. Yeah. Well, we are going to put on the Patreon, we're going to be in the backseat of Ubers, and we're going to secretly record our conversations with them. Yeah. That's a great way to do it. That's a great legal way to do it.

Starting point is 00:12:43 And we talked about, we were at our time in Austin with Joe Rogan, and we thought the episode was coming out the next day, and make no mistake, we were sitting here one week later, and the episode's still not out. It's still not out. S-lo K-S. It's S-lo K-S.

Starting point is 00:12:54 He put out an episode of him and Duncan Trussell in elf costumes, which is a 10, because they're squeaks. Yeah, well we went wild on the episode, so maybe he may hold it like the Tim Dillon episode, who knows? That could be his version of the Tim Dillon episode where he's saying, this is too wild, I can't even put it out. Who knows? I don't know. But talk about China.

Starting point is 00:13:10 Yeah, but speaking of Joe Rogan, I see China a lot like Joe Rogan in the sense that he told us when he was little, he was small, he was a small guy, and he got bullied. And then he just said, I wanted to become the guy I was scared of. That is China. They got kicked around like a rag doll. By the Japanese. By the Japanese, by the British. They had what they called a century of humiliation at the hands of the British and everybody else with the opium wars.

Starting point is 00:13:36 We got the, the British got them all addicted to opium. All these Western internationals were in there. The tea companies, whatever they were called. And they were in there and they were just raking the land, raking the resources, dominating them after they come from this proud history of thousands of years of dynasties and eunuchs and having a good time. Wait, Sean Chi and the original eunuch from China. Thousands of years of emperors and glory, they came up with paper, they came up with

Starting point is 00:14:02 gunpowder. With spaghetti. Yeah, they came up with nail files for pedicures. Yes, they came up with all of it. They came up with paper, they came up with gunpowder, spaghetti, yeah they came up with nail files for pedicure, yes they came up with all of it, they came up with web feet, yeah they came up with happy endings, happy endings, yeah, they came up with all these things, I mean they came up with the noodle and then, yes, what happened is just the Europeans took the noodle, turned it into something good and they also took the gunpowder and they turned it into something good and unfortunately they took that technology and they turned it on the Chinese.

Starting point is 00:14:26 It's what it is because we just started shooting spaghetti. Yeah they were like well we didn't know you could do that with that powder and they said you're not as evil as we are because like the Israelites said the all the white men are lepers. It's what it is because yeah yeah and we got it's just the truth that we have Neanderthal DNA and we're just a little more evil than everybody else. What it is the white man you gave us powder, we use it for guns and we snort it. That's what it is.

Starting point is 00:14:47 That's how we roll. And here's the thing, cuz, population is a double-edged sword. Okay? Talk to me about it. Population is a double-edged sword, Bubba's, because here's the thing, Lieutenant Lollipop, is population, they have numbers. The one thing you cannot deny about China

Starting point is 00:15:03 is they come with numbers.. They do spread they reproduce like String beans. Yeah. Yeah, it's what it is cuz what I like to call them is the Puerto Ricans of the East Yeah So I because and then we're hitting that fucking soundboard heavy today and sometimes it's just gonna be what it is Yeah, and I like to call their sperm long-distance runners Yes, because the pieces are small so that sperms really got to travel far to get to that egg I'd like to call the black sperm is more of a sprinter Gotta go like a quick 50 meters to get where it needs to go

Starting point is 00:15:42 Yeah, Patty you want to get in here? Pat, give it up for Patty Clips walking in here with our breakfast. Come in here, cuz Pat's got one, oh, you coming in? Yeah. Just give him his coffee. Yeah. Oh, the door's locked. Yeah. See, that's, yeah, just in case there's a school shooting in here. The door's locked from the inside. That's what it is, cuz. Patty with the fatty coming in. We both got on Nick sweatshirts. That's what it is. Yeah, let me feed your butt. Yeah. Pat, the Lebanon sensation, Pat. Now Pat is born and raised in Staten Island. So he also knows Chinese are the enemy and they're trying, what they wanted to try to put up a gate on the Barrizona bridge and not let those fuckers

Starting point is 00:16:13 in, but they kept getting in. But the problem is like we said, they can fly. So that's the difference at night. They said we saw drones up there. You know what that was? Yeah. Chinese. That's what it is. Yeah. They were. Yeah. If you look closer it's Chinese those giant those were guys up those were guys up there yeah what I what I call those were deliveries those were delivery happening yeah no so obviously we're fucking around we do love the Chinese we want we want the Chinese vote we love Chinese people were just getting we're just it's a little packed piece but let me tell you population is a double-edged sword folks because China take China they had big numbers just like India has big numbers yeah and population, you can either use them for good or for evil.

Starting point is 00:16:47 Yeah. And what China was doing is they had these, all these people, and basically the people were kind of collapsing in on themselves. They were, I mean, what are you doing? Pat just hit a light with his butt. Yeah. Yeah, Pat just hit a light with his butt. He's got a fat ass.

Starting point is 00:16:59 Yeah, he's been hired by the Chinese to sabotage. Yeah. Yeah. So, what they were for the first, for these years, when the 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, when they had the little GDP, they just were basically on their farmlands. And they were just self-sustaining their own farms. And they were basically just feeding themselves.

Starting point is 00:17:15 And then one day, China turned around. I forgot who the leader was. Who was the leader that turned it all around? Mao. Was it Mao? Mao. Mao. Mao Zedong.

Starting point is 00:17:23 Mao Zedong. Mao Zedong. Mao Zedingdong. People are going, oh that's offensive. No, actually that's the correct pronunciation. Yes, hello. I can't go Mao Zedong. You gotta go Mao Zedong. That's how you say it. So Mao Zedong, what he did is he said, you know what we're doing Why don't we instead of just having all these people who are dying of starvation and only feeding themselves? Why don't we try to see if basically we can take some of this land that they have and we Will take it for the government and then what we'll do is we'll have companies Come in like Apple was a big one and other companies come in and basically lease the land from them So these people are now starting to make money by themselves and they actually getting money in their pocket instead of just feeding themselves corn and I didn't know you could grow fucking

Starting point is 00:18:11 wontons out of the ground, but they're doing it. Yeah, they apparently did. They were doing it. Yeah. And so all their food and what they said was they're going to get money from these companies because they're leasing their land. China said, we're trying to basically open themselves up to the world and said, look, we've got a big population here. We've got a lot of land folks. Why don't you come here?

Starting point is 00:18:26 We're going to give you a sick tax break. You don't even have to pay taxes for three years. We're only going to take eventually after three years, like 20% of your tax money, which was like unheard of, and we'll let you lease the land for 99 years. And what happened was is these companies like Apple and IBM and all these companies started working on the land and the farmers who own the land in China were getting money and then

Starting point is 00:18:49 they're buying groceries, they're supporting the Chinese economy and now all of a sudden you have all these people, all these millions of people hitting the Chinese economy, spending money, it's going from communism to capitalism and their GDP starts to go double, triple and quadruple year after year. Right, now that was actually Deng Xiaoping. Deng Xiaoping. That's who it was. I knew it wasn't Mao Zedong.

Starting point is 00:19:08 So before that was Mao. Before that was Mao. Was Mao. And then before that was, uh, Chiang Kai-shek. Yes. I'm just trying to do it correctly. Right. So Chiang Kai-shek was the guy.

Starting point is 00:19:22 Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So Chiang Kai-shek, uh, Chiang Kai-shek was the guy. Yes. Yeah. So Chiang Kai-shek and Mao, they're the ones that was having the problem. Yeah. They had the problem. They had a problem.

Starting point is 00:19:33 Yeah. They had a problem. Right. And yeah, so Mao was Chairman Mao. He was the communist guy. Then Chiang Kai-shek was the guy that was in bed with Britain and trying to get these guys. And they had a little bit of civil war that ended up winning.

Starting point is 00:19:46 And just to go a little farther back to set it all up for you was that century of humiliation where and then the Communist Party, they looked to the Soviets and the Soviets were like, yeah, we're going to be like that. They saw the happy marching in the street and all that. They didn't know it was going to lead to 35 million whatever deaths from starvation because they weren't getting the street and all that. They didn't know it was gonna lead to, you know, 35 million whatever deaths from starvation because they weren't getting the profits until this guy. We have the chat GPT slots here folks. But till you said Deng Jie Tao,

Starting point is 00:20:14 he implemented these economic reforms in 1978. That's what it was. And that's when the GDP started growing exponentially, making it the second largest economy in the world, eventually. They fucking went from rags to riches in like 40 years, and it all started with Richard Nixon going over there and saying, hey, we're gonna open it up.

Starting point is 00:20:34 And that's when you started to see the American cities that weren't finished get finished over there. All their cities are so high tech, and you go to our cities and you're like, wow. So that's the big problem. And that's why we created them. We turned them into the quote unquote world's factory because their economy became an export economy.

Starting point is 00:20:56 We're just making shit for everybody. And now they've accelerated that and they're going with influence. And here's what I think. I think their whole motivation is revenge. I think it's revenge. I agree. They want Taiwan back,

Starting point is 00:21:10 but it's all revenge for the humiliation. And so they're just going, they're doing like that all means necessary kind of Malcolm X kind of economy that the Germans did in a lot of ways, cause the Nazis, it was like, what were they? Were they socials, were they capitals? They were like by any means necessary.

Starting point is 00:21:23 Do you know like how the youth here, like they don't know our history of, wait, who's the youth? Are you talking about the youth? Yeah, the youth. Oh, the youth, okay. If I was like, hey, who's Franklin Roosevelt? They're like, is that like the mall in Long Island?

Starting point is 00:21:35 Like they wouldn't know, like their youth, Chinese youth, they know their history and they have a lot of pride because the Chinese believe they prioritize education and they prioritize national pride. So you do not ever forget it. We're here, we don't prioritize that at all. We prioritize just fucking everyone can use any bathroom they want.

Starting point is 00:21:50 That's what we, that's the problem. So it's what it is. It's what it is. That's what's causing the problems. But the leader, Deng, he said this, this was a big thing. He said, by the time Deng held power, tens of thousands of young people each year were escaping to Hong Kong.

Starting point is 00:22:03 When told of the problem during a visit to Guangdong in 1977, Deng explained that the solution lay not in tightening border security with more fencing and more border patrols, but improving the economy of Guangdong, so young people would not feel that they had to flee to Hong Kong to find jobs. So that was, that went radically against every other leader there. He said, why don't we stop trying to fence him in and why don't we just say, it's great here, why do you even want to leave? Yeah. And much like the noodle and much like gun power and much like paparuz, which became paper, we take what the Chinese did and we made it better. They built the Great Wall of China and now we're going to improve upon that and build the Great Wall on

Starting point is 00:22:43 the border. That's what it is, guys. With drones and all those types of things, it's going to be a nice, beautiful wall. It's what it is. Yeah. I'm not saying I'm for it or against it. I'm just saying we're going to improve it. It's going to be a beautiful wall. You're not going to be able to get around it. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:22:55 Yeah. And you know what it is too with the Chinese is they just were able, they made nice bets. Okay? Yeah. And they make good general sales chicken. They do make good general, and this is why they own a lot of them own casinos because they make good general sales chicken. They do make good general sales chicken. And this is why they own a lot of them own casinos because they're just good at gambling. They love to gamble.

Starting point is 00:23:10 So what the Chinese did, a big, big thing, what they did is when the stock market crashed 2008, right? Everybody's like, oh, you know, money, nobody wants to invest, whatever. So China at the time, the Congo Republic, right? They had a big civil war there. Nobody wanted to invest in that. No, no, you don't wanna go vacation there. Even now, yeah.

Starting point is 00:23:30 It's not a nice, it's not nice this time. No, it's not this time, it's not this time. Yeah, you wanna go someplace else. So Congo is having a civil war. And China all of a sudden out of nowhere during a global recession says, we're gonna invest $5 billion in the Congo. We're going to get them out of the civil war.

Starting point is 00:23:46 We're going to build the infrastructure. We're going to help heal the Congo. And everyone else was like, look at how dumb the Chinese are to fuck going to the Congo. Right. But the Chinese were just sitting there with their hats on kind of in the abacus screwed in screwed in. They had the abacus and they were saying that the sun had the what the abacus. What's that? How they do math. OK, I never heard that. You never heard of an abacus? Oh, you never abacus. What's that? Uh, how they do math.

Starting point is 00:24:09 Okay. I never heard that. You never heard of an abacus? Oh, what is it? No. Cause it's, you know, like when you have the, uh, it's like a little box and then they move little balls. I don't know how they do math, but they, so they'll basically do a math like my three year old girl does. But that's the way to do it. They move beans across the line. They move beans across the line and they were high that the abacus and they were doing, they were doing all these math equations and they said the sun is pointing to Congo. They said Congo is where it's at and nobody could understand why.

Starting point is 00:24:30 Here's why they're screwed and here's what they knew. Here's what the Chinese abacus told them years before our leaders found out. They said what the world is moving towards is electronic vehicles and electronic energy, EV. Okay, so what they said is what does the Congo have? What does Congo have? Congo has the biggest mine of what? Oh, it's supposed to say a lot of black people? It does have a lot of black people.

Starting point is 00:24:54 Yeah, it does have a lot of black people. I think I probably got the most of that. Yeah, they got the most of that. Yeah, which China, by the way, doesn't, they're like one of the only, they were never racist against black people. Almost other countries were at some point, I'm saying. I don't know about that. Are they racist against blacks the only, they were never racist against black people. Most other countries were at some point I'm saying. I don't know about that.

Starting point is 00:25:07 Are they racist against blacks? Yes they are! Okay, sorry. Presently I think they are, it's pretty bad. Are they racist against blacks? Yeah. Unfortunately. I don't know everything.

Starting point is 00:25:14 Yeah. Unfortunately they are. Okay, so sorry. Yeah. Sorry to our black brothers and sisters. Get to Toronto's main venues like Budweiser Stage and the new Roger Stadium with Go Transit. Thanks to Go Transit's special online e-ticket fairs, a $10 one-day weekend pass offers unlimited travel on any weekend day or holiday anywhere along the Go network. And the weekday group passes

Starting point is 00:25:36 offer the same weekday travel flexibility across the network, starting at $30 for two people and up to $60 for a group of five. Buy your online go pass ahead of the show at go transit.com slash tickets. Um, so what they had was Congo had a cobalt mine, cobalt. Yeah. The biggest cobalt mine. Is that what's in Darussal? In the world. Yes. So cobalt is the main thing needed to build electronic batteries, the batteries, the Teslas and any other type of electronic car, that's what Cobalt does. So what's happened is China bought in, they own 70% of the Congo's Cobalt.

Starting point is 00:26:13 Sneaky. Sneaky. And the Congo now, Cobalt has went up 400% in just the last 10 years and it's predicted to go up another 400% and guess who owns 70% of it? The Chinese! Yeah, the Chinese. So that's gonna add their prediction is by 2035 their GDP is going to be bigger than the United States and make no mistake That's why I said they are gaining speed because right now we are still number one, but these kids are catching up big. Yeah. Big, big, big. But it went from cooperation and symbiosis to now America is sort of re-examining their relationship

Starting point is 00:26:51 with China and it started with Biden and his first speech when he went in there, the first thing he said is there's no reason why we can't make these little chips here. Yeah. He said there's no reason, we can do that here. And they can. And that's what he was basically, that's where it started going, hey, we're going to start

Starting point is 00:27:07 bringing a lot of these manufacturers. He's like, there's no reason why we can't be the leader in this. And so now China's not really thrilled about that because they love our money. They love them. And they love the way their economy was going, where they were making stuff for us, and they were just raking in money. We did lift them up out of poverty, but we turned them into a superpower because they took all that money and they took all that population and they turned it into a vicious military.

Starting point is 00:27:32 Yes. And they got a very strong military with a billion soldiers, but what they don't have is the boys. We still got the boys. We still have the boys. Now let me explain to you how the math works real quick. Yeah. Let me explain.

Starting point is 00:27:43 One Chinese soldier is about what, five average? Five, five average? Five, five average. One of our soldiers, one of our corn fed soldiers, what, about six foot? Put them on Winstrel. These guys are big. Big boys.

Starting point is 00:27:53 Yeah, these are big boys. They're out in Texas. So I would say one American soldier equals 25 Chinese soldiers. We actually do the math. We got the biggest military because our boys are just bigger because they're eating cows.

Starting point is 00:28:02 They're eating cows. And the Chinese are, and that's the thing, because you're not, you can't get Jack using chopsticks. It's not going to work. It's just you can't get Jack eat fucking, you can't do it. No, no. Yeah. They eat dogs.

Starting point is 00:28:12 My stepson likes to take chopsticks and pull vaults. That's what he does. Yeah. Yeah. So there's just a difference. So now America is sort of re-examining and that's why a lot of tensions are happening because tariffs are going into, and who knows, Trump is going to, he's going to be giving out tariffs like crazy yet. He was giving away deals. Yeah tariff tariff tariff Yeah, lapping tariffs like Oprah you get a tariff

Starting point is 00:28:33 You get a tariff. It's just gonna be giving them out and some people are saying what the tariffs that it's good Some people are saying it's bad. You just the bottom lines. You just don't know you never know what the Chinese you don't know How it's gonna affect them what they're gonna do Yeah, cuz what's happened is we finally woken up to the giant we've created and now just don't know. You never know what the Chinese, you don't know how it's gonna affect them, what they're gonna do. Yeah, cause what's happened is we've finally woken up to the giant we've created and now we don't wanna, cause they're competing with us now and they're trying to make their, what is it?

Starting point is 00:28:52 The yuan, the yen, the yuan. They're trying to make that the national currency. They promote that, yeah, so. It's like their Bitcoin, hold on. Yeah, shh, let it go. Yeah. That's it. Sometimes I could fart in the tune of the national anthem.

Starting point is 00:29:06 Sometimes you can do it. Yeah. Yeah. During national tragedies. Yeah. It could happen. Yeah. So they the bricks and all that. So Trump's coming in. He's taking a hard line against that. The only thing is some people believe I've heard at the firehouse. What I have heard at the firehouse. What I have heard is, you know, Schmitty? Yeah, Schmitty. Schmitty told me, Schmitty told me down there, this guy reads a lot. Now what he told me was he said, now, what happened was when Trump started putting the tarps on the Chinese, initially, the Chinese got upset because you don't fuck with anyone's money. You're fucking with the money and that's what they don't like. And so they didn't like Trump for that reason. So yeah, COVID, the fucking China virus, did come to hurt Trump individually. Yeah, they come to hurt him in a different way. Yeah, they came to hurt him in a different way. They came to sauce in a different way.

Starting point is 00:29:51 So what I'm scared, now he's doing the right thing by America first and all that. Yeah. He's doing the right thing. But the problem is I'm scared that he's... Yeah. Ladder 14. Yeah, but it's also going to have to get cackled. Yeah, unfortunately that one's going to get cackled. That one's on theling that was on the patreon. It's not that we could do you guys can complain

Starting point is 00:30:08 Oh you want we can't put that one out for you. You know, I'm talking about about the fucking screen mask people way song she She I'm talking about them just at the firehouse Yeah, all the sudden paint and this was Schmidt he was saying yeah I wish he was here to defend himself cuz I'm just quoting what he said I didn't say. It's a character piece of a character piece. It's a double character piece. So I'm very far from what the verbiage that I'm using here. But he said they're going to throw a fuck, they're going to fucking hurl another one of those fucking child virus. If we give them a tariff. If when Trump comes in there

Starting point is 00:30:41 and try to stop fucking General Trump fucking, they're trying to stop this fucking guy. I'm telling you, cause the only place to be safe is Staten Island. Yeah, that's true. They're not gonna get over it. Yeah, cause they're basically gonna put a fucking couple of rocks on the fucking tracks of the Trump train. Yeah. And those fucking rocks are gonna be another,

Starting point is 00:30:56 they're gonna hurl another fucking China virus out. Yeah, because yeah, it's been confirmed by our Squeak Fouchy that it was in fact from China. Yeah, and this is all that I heard from Schmitty, so that's what I'm worried about. Yeah. That's the only thing I'm worried about. Yeah, okay, and that makes fact from China. Yeah, and this is all that I heard from Schmidty, so that's what I'm worried about. Yeah. That's the only thing I'm worried about. Yeah, yeah, okay, and that makes sense.

Starting point is 00:31:08 Yeah, yeah, and that's a little, that was just a little social commentary from the Firehouse. That was just the Firehouse metaphor. Not us, that's not us. The ladder 14. It's all it is, and by the way, we might have an inside info to, we might have an inside track to do a podcast

Starting point is 00:31:19 from the actual ladder 14 truck. We have an inside info from a friend of mine. Yeah. Who we actually really can do it. I'm not even kidding around. That would be great. That would be wild. That would be wonderful. Yeah. Are we big in that firehouse? Yes, we are known about. Well, not us. I mean the ladder 14. The ladder 14, yes. Because we work there. We don't work there. Those guys work there. And let me tell you something, I do it nice. I can play it roll a nice eggplant roll of titty when it's my turn for the guys. Yeah. Yeah, and what I like to do is board game night Yeah, when it's a slow night, I like to do board game. Yeah, I like sorry. I grew up playing. Sorry Yeah, you know what for Christmas I bought other guys bathrobes with their names on yeah

Starting point is 00:31:58 Nice. Yeah, it had a fucking mess logo. Yeah, nice. Yeah, yeah mini cooks a fucking great Yeah, he cooks it. He gets he gets that little electronic coal oven for the pizzas. Yeah. And the kid can make a fucking, for an Irish kid he makes a good fucking pizza. I just want to shout out, I just want to shout out Smitty because he gave me a beautiful birthday gift last week. He sent me a cameo of Pete Alonso saying happy birthday and I appreciate that. And you know what he did? I cried and showed my whole family.

Starting point is 00:32:21 And you know what he did for, you know what he did for my daughter on her confirmation? What'd he do? He gave her a fucking nice, a real nice fucking ankle bracelet with a nice blue stone in it. It's what it is? Yeah, it was real nice and I think he fucking bought it from the Chinese.

Starting point is 00:32:34 Yeah, he probably did. Yeah. Because they just gave you for a good price. Yeah. Okay, so here's the thing too with China. One thing to know is that Cobalt, that's a big thing. That is their big, big, big, big, big thing. And the other thing is, is we are almost certain of this china is just very screwed in and they're not

Starting point is 00:32:48 doing anything illegal what they're doing is is they're trying to same way united states same way alexander the great same way everyone before them as the power tries to eventually take over the world so is china and they really honestly are doing it through real estate they are trying to buy up all the real estate in big new american cities because they know if we own through real estate. They are trying to buy up all the real estate in big American cities, because they know if we own the real estate, we own them. And they potentially could, you know, switch places with us. They become the number one super power,

Starting point is 00:33:11 and we become number two without firing a single shot. So it's kind of screwed in, and it's kind of like World War III, but peaceful. Yeah, and they're doing espionage, they're doing disinformation. The thing that Chinese can get me with big is a honeypot. I will get honeypotted big. I mean, guys,

Starting point is 00:33:25 make no mistake. I like Chinese women because they... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's very nice. It's very nice because yeah, make no mistake. Sometimes I make Jasmine put a stick through her hair. Yeah. Yeah. Because they really... When you're giving them a talking to, they listen. They listen because you don't even have to discipline them. No, no.

Starting point is 00:33:44 Jesus Christ. Can you hit the fucking button, please? Some to discipline them. No, no. Jesus Christ. Can you hit the fucking button, please? Some of this is on Patreon. Yeah, Jesus Christ. This episode is just gonna sound like a radio morning show, but it's one thing we need to do it because we need to just wash our way. Make no mistake.

Starting point is 00:33:55 How could you not hit the button when I say you don't need to discipline them? Yeah, I mean. It sounded pretty tame to me. It sounded tame. Jesus Christ. Yeah, because Jesse's from Bensonhurst. That's right.

Starting point is 00:34:04 Yeah, yeah. That sounds pretty normal to me. Sounds pretty good because not only from Bensonhurst, if you don because Jesse's from Bensonhurst. That's right. That sounds pretty normal to me. Sounds pretty good because not only from Bensonhurst, if you don't know anything about Bensonhurst, Brooklyn, New York, Jesse's, that's where Jesse's from. So he's grown up with discipline, have an Italian side, but then also he does not like the Chinese because they overtook his neighbors. They did. So he's upset about that. Yeah. But shout out any of our Chinese fans. We thank you so much for your support and we thank you so much for your cobalt.

Starting point is 00:34:25 We wouldn't have cell phones or any podcast equipment without the cobalt from Congo owned by China. Yeah, now when I heard about all that they went through and what the Japanese did to them. Let's go off these fucking goals. Is it good? Yeah. For so long, the Japanese, you know,

Starting point is 00:34:36 starting in like 1931, they started invading China, right? So up from 1931 to 1945, they would just field goal kick in the Chinese. That's what it is, yeah. And Chi gold kicking the Chinese one. It is. Yeah. And Chiang Kai-shek's whole goal. Has that a real name? He making that one up. Chiang Kai-shek. Okay.

Starting point is 00:34:50 Chiang Kai-shek. That's a real one. Shanghai Shek. Shanghai Shek. Chiang Kai-shek. That's his real name. His name is Chiang Kai-shek. Chiang Kai-shek.

Starting point is 00:34:58 Chiang Kai-shek. Yeah. So at that time, Mao was siding, was Chairman Mao, was siding with the Soviets, Chiang Kai-shek siding with the Western powers, kind of getting support from both. But at that time they decided to unite to try to fight the Japanese invasion.

Starting point is 00:35:15 Cause the Japanese got really industrialized and what they didn't have was that good, arable land cause they're just an island. So they decided we're invading China. And they, you know, the rape and the King, they were brutal, so many, they killed so many Chinese. During the World War II, they said Hitler killed about 15 million, Stalin killed about 25 million,

Starting point is 00:35:35 and in China, they said about 85 to 100 million died mostly of starvation. Yeah, but I think they had about 400 million population. Boy, has that grown. That's big time. Boy, it's grown, but back then- Now they have that just in the Lower East Side. Yeah, now they got them underground that.

Starting point is 00:35:49 They're underground too. They're underground too. They are. They're everywhere. They are. Yeah, Chinese people everywhere. As Mr. Paulus would say, the Chinese people who's everywhere.

Starting point is 00:35:56 But we love Chinese people, by the way. We love Chinese food. We love Chinese food. We love Chinese people. We love Ali Wong. Yeah, we're just talking about the history of how they became the superpowers. Yeah, we're just talking about the facts of the situation. Now, yeah, they went through so much. I thought love Ali Wong. Yeah, we're just talking about the history of how they became the superpowers. Yeah, we're just talking about the facts of the situation.

Starting point is 00:36:07 Now, yeah, they went through so much. I thought about Ali Wong, I was like, this is what her family has been through. It's a lot of intergenerational trauma. It's what it is. The cycle has to end with you. Yeah. So she's gotta break the cycle.

Starting point is 00:36:18 Everyone's gotta break the cycle. Now, this is Sergeant Snuggles. So you guys come from a long history of fighting in the East, in the Eastern Hemisphere. Why are you fighting? Listen, and hey, how do you tell the difference? I'm Lieutenant Lollipop, you know me, I'm a big fan of cultural diversity,

Starting point is 00:36:37 that's why I love Flagrant 2 podcasts, and he said that as well. Yeah. That they all look the same. Yeah, and just throwback, I mean, you took up your arms in resistance, but why didn't you think for one second to maybe put the Japanese on notice?

Starting point is 00:36:50 Yes. Why didn't you do that? I don't know. Why didn't you just, when they were marching over those fucking hills, why didn't you say Japanese? Yeah. Stop. You're on notice for what you're trying to do.

Starting point is 00:36:59 This is not cool. It's, because it's very, it's very- It's almost sinophobic. It's very hard to tell the difference between the Chinese and Japanese, especially at the time. The only way to know the difference is one group had pushed their hair up, one group had bangs. That's what it is.

Starting point is 00:37:14 Yeah. Seriously, if you did a taste test, you know how sometimes people will line up Coke, Pepsi, Arcicola? Like, how can you, like if you line up Korean, Japanese, Chinese. Yeah. Like, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi,

Starting point is 00:37:29 Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi are going, whoa, whoa, whoa, guys, whoa, guys, whoa.

Starting point is 00:37:45 Yeah. Put a fucking, put a red light on that because you guys are going too far. Okay, let me ask you a question. Could a Chinese tell the difference between a Greek and Italian and a French person? No, they couldn't. No, you three white guys? No, you couldn't. You couldn't.

Starting point is 00:38:00 You couldn't. So why are we fighting? That's the point. Ukraine, Russia, why? We're all the same. We have to put this fighting completely on fucking notice and stop it. Yeah. Just like the Hollywood celebrities when they make a video, Putin, stop. Stop. Stop it Putin. So right. And this has been the love lab with Lieutenant Lali Poppinsargeant Snuggles. That

Starting point is 00:38:19 was a little love lab. Because we're all love. But that is a good point, because is that why didn't at that point China, I mean, nobody saw China. China was kind of like Park Slope. Yeah. Where Park Slope, people were buying a property there. Nobody knew that it was going to become this great neighborhood in Brooklyn where the property valley is through the roof. Now that was like China. Everyone was just saying, F China. Nobody cares about China. And then China was saying, but you're gonna know us someday. You're gonna know us someday. And then that's what happened. Little by little, once they started changing leadership

Starting point is 00:38:51 around and they started to go from communism, which is no bueno, to capitalism, which is all bueno, they have now become, I mean, cause unfortunately, you know I bleed red, white and blue. You know I love this country. You know I stayed draped in the American flag. I've actually looked in his toilet and you did shit red, white and blue too. I've looked. I told you, I sent

Starting point is 00:39:07 you that picture. We're going to get his captain America. We're going to put the picture on the patron. I sent the honest that I'm going to get for the studio. If he allows it, you know that I don't fuck around because when this picture we're going to post it on Patreon is I don't fuck around. I love this country. But if we just look at the numbers, if you look at just the numbers, China is going catch up and they're gonna pass us financially just because they got so many more ways to make money. And also the people over there in China, they work. They don't have OnlyFans, they're not working from home,

Starting point is 00:39:34 they're not doing the hybrid work, they're not doing any of that. They just go to work. And they just love their country. And nationalism, I know that there's problems with it, but in this case it's good because they just wanna see their country be number one, where a lot of our biggest enemy to the Americans is the American people nowadays.

Starting point is 00:39:51 And that's a problem. Yeah. I, like I said, I see a lot of similarities, not in anything else, except for the humiliation to Germany and then the comeback and the motivation because of the humiliation. It's like when you lose and you want to win. I see a similarity there. Then you add that with the Confucius, the Confucian work ethic. Yes.

Starting point is 00:40:09 The national pride that grew out of that communist movement, grew out of the Japanese invasions. And then Mao Tse-Tung kind of, he was good for uniting the country in that national pride that grew out of that humiliation. But then they just saw that it wasn't working. Right. Millions of people were dying for starvation. And then this dude came along. Mao, then that's when Dang. Dang. Luau Dang. Luau Dang came on the scene. Yeah. And he said,

Starting point is 00:40:35 we're going to do this different. And like you said, he brought in these foreign businesses and he gave them tax breaks in these certain areas that he districted for tax breaks and for them to develop. He, all these national companies, he said, you can go private and reap benefits. And then it was capitalism and that mixed economy that you also see happening in Vietnam now that really lifted them out of poverty and started getting the engine moving.

Starting point is 00:41:03 And boy, did they move like a bullet train. I mean, that Confucian work, that Confucian work ethic. And then also, I think even more is that humiliation. Think about it, when you break up with your girl, you're heartbroken and you get in shape. Yeah, you wanna get jacked. You get up there. When you get rejected, you start moving.

Starting point is 00:41:22 And that's basically China. You've been kicked around so long. So now they're like, we're gonna be the dominant force. It's never gonna, they start moving, and that's basically China. They've been kicked around so long, so now they're like, we're gonna be the dominant force. It's never gonna, they're basically, they're new Jews, because they're saying never again. They're motivated at it never again. And their Germans are the Japanese. Right, and it's amazing.

Starting point is 00:41:36 They'll say, they're the smartest people, they're the fastest growing immigrant, they're the smartest people in usually every class, but yet there's this campaign message that they're being abused, and that they're like're like, you know, like they're not doing well. So that's just all bullshit because they're just crushing everybody. They're crushing everybody and so are the South Asians. They're crushing their number one. They're crushing everybody, but they cry a lot. So you're just like, what's going on? You're killing everybody. Most of them

Starting point is 00:41:59 don't, most of them just kill. Actually, yeah, you're right. Most of them just put their heads down and go to work. Yeah, yeah. A lot of them in the past couple of years were crying that they weren't getting enough superhero multi-million dollar roles. Yeah, some of them were doing a little bit of that. Yeah. So, yeah, so that's where we are right now. And then, dude, think about how crazy it is,

Starting point is 00:42:18 how quick it happened. Right. That's the thing, right? Right. Is how fast it happened. You're talking about in our lifetime, they went from like nothing to number two, creeping on number one in essentially- Yes. Forty fucking years, four decades.

Starting point is 00:42:36 You look at their cities now, you're like, how did they even build that that fast? Right. The only actual way that we can beat them is to get them to get as many Chinese people. This is the way that we're going to win. You get as many Chinese people here as you can, you just make them fat. You just got to do that. You just pump up, you pump up that like they're foie gras. You just pump these fuckers up, pump up their livers, get them fat, get them addicted to

Starting point is 00:42:57 drugs. That's the American way. And that's how we'll beat them. That is the only way because in China, they're not doing drugs and they're not getting fat. But when they come here, they get on drugs and they get fat. And China is pumping fentanyl into our system, it's what it is. Yeah, we need to do also national, we need to do a massive exported propaganda campaign

Starting point is 00:43:14 of Domino's, of Pizza Hut, because the kids cannot digest cheese. Get it out there. We've got a whole nation having diarrhea. You know what they're not doing? Yeah. They're not on the computer spreading disinformation. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:43:26 They're not flying in the sky as drones. I agree. They're not planning to attack the West Coast of America. They're having diarrhea constantly because the kids don't have the enzymes to digest cheese. Yes. So we've got to get them liking cheese. That's the way that we can win as Americans,

Starting point is 00:43:42 as our superpowers, we make people fat. Yes. If you want to beat India, same thing. They got all these cows that keep them sacred. Create something that there's actually a new God out there that says you got to eat the cows if you want to get into Indian heaven, whatever that is. Get them fat, get them pumped up with fucking antibiotics and hormones, and then we'll beat them too.

Starting point is 00:43:57 You know how they do it? You use the technology that they did to bring Tupac back and put him on stage. What's that called? The hieroglyphic? A hologram. They put a hologram of Vishnu with all the fucking arms Yeah, right you take Akash you put him in a suit That's what it is put him in a suit and Halloween costume

Starting point is 00:44:10 You float him over the skies at Delhi and he goes I'm Vishnu with all his arms Yeah, and he goes guys new new message from Hare Krishna. I don't know who their God is. Yes, right? That's him new new guy from the elephant man. No. Yeah Yeah, I. They're got their guy. I don't know. The Elephant Man. Yes. So the Elephant Man says, guys, these cows, it's time to start eating them. Yeah. Yeah. And then you cook them in a burglar, you get McDonald's in there and you get these guys fucking on saturated fats, you blow them up. Yeah. Heart conditions, cheese, cheese and beef. Let's go. It's what it is because

Starting point is 00:44:42 it's what you do. Do we got to do all the work for the fucking government? We really don't have to do all the work for the CIA. You can just start beating go. It's what it is, because it's what you do. Do we gotta do all the work for the fucking government? We really do. Do we have to do all the work for the CIA? You can just start beating people, it's because it's the German-American way. That's what we do, you get them fat, you get the Chinese fat, you get the Indians fat, we got the Greeks, we have,

Starting point is 00:44:55 just get an inbred, just like the acidic Jews, and then we got them going now, and now we got them out. So that's what we gotta do, folks, okay? The only way the Americans can win is this way. If you listen to us, because make no mistake, and I feel bad saying it, but I think at this point, because the writing is on the wall. The Chinese writing is on the wall.

Starting point is 00:45:16 And it's very difficult to do it. Why does their writing just look like a crossword puzzle? I have no idea what it is. They're drawing little houses. And I don't know what it is. It's really difficult. I don't know what it is, but their houses look cute. They do look cute. They're drawing little houses. Yeah, and I don't know what it is. It's really difficult I don't know what it is, but they houses look cute They do look cute and nice little houses and sticks and twigs and all that what it is and make no mistake They're buying each one of their letters in cash. Yeah, they are what it is

Starting point is 00:45:33 So is so but I think that the writings on the wall we should just team up with them now We shouldn't make them an enemy at all. Trump shouldn't even be doing the tariffs. Nothing We should just team up and make one big super country with them like Russia is doing with North Korea and invading Ukraine. We should just come together and just pick a place to invade, whoever you want to go after. Yeah, we have to really side with them because then they won't side with Russia and that'll slow Russia down because now they're supporting Russia. They're kind of looking at what's going on in Ukraine and I think they're looking at it as a test, go like, okay, what's NATO's reaction going to be if we take Taiwan? Because that's what they're looking at. They a test go like okay, what's NATO's reaction gonna be if we take Taiwan? Because that's what you're looking at. They're seeing Russia take Ukraine. They're going that's what we want to do with Taiwan

Starting point is 00:46:10 How are they gonna react right? And so I think that's a big reason that of why we're doing what we're doing that a lot of people don't mention I heard it here first. Yeah, I think it's basically, you know How we dropped the bomb on Japan kind of like did we need to not? Right, to kind of show Russia that we're dominant. Yeah. So I think what we're doing with the Ukraine is we're showing China, which is actually the bigger threat than Russia, we're showing China like, hey, you try to take Taiwan, we're going to resist.

Starting point is 00:46:36 Yeah. This is what we're going to do. You're going to be in a protracted war. We're going to fund them. And so it's not worth your time. Also, we're going to start making the microchips here anyway. So just leave Taiwan. And Taiwan's going, whoa, whoa, whoa,

Starting point is 00:46:47 but we like to make it. And we're gonna look, you're a pawn in a bigger story here. It's what it is. It's the boys versus the Chinese. It's what it is. You don't have to hit the button. The Chinese people. The Chinese people.

Starting point is 00:47:00 Just the glorious Chinese people. Yeah, and by the way, the Chinese army is boys and girls It's every it's it's all of us every girls in there. Everyone. How about you boys? They're in there. They're in there big time. Yeah, who do you think's got the best ladyboys Thailand Thailand does number one because they got darker skin Yeah, yeah, they're kind of like they kind of to me. They look Latina Yeah, and here's the thing that the reason why they have the advantage in the ladyboy market. Yeah, it's because they're hairless Truly. Yeah, I mean they're oh, they're hairless without the ashes. Yeah, they don't have it.

Starting point is 00:47:26 See, so they're halfway there. And they don't have enzymes in them where they smell bad. They don't smell. Their armpits never smell. They never smell. Yeah, that's a big Korean thing. So that's why the Asian ladyboys are just superior to it. Because you're going to get a European, you're going to get a German ladyboy, she's just going to have a chromatin forehead.

Starting point is 00:47:42 Like you could never be a ladyboy, but I can. Yeah, you can. Yeah, because I got a nice smooth lady's face. Like Joe Rogan said, I get knocked out quick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got a better jaw.

Starting point is 00:47:51 Yeah. He looked at me. I was like, if that episode ever has it come out yet? No. Have we seen if it's come out yet? No, we'd be getting texts if it's out. Yeah. Um, so yeah, we just, we, you know, there's.

Starting point is 00:48:03 I don't know. Now you know what else the Chinese are doing, cuz? Yeah. They're, and Jesse knows this because he studies the Chinese. Yeah. Yeah. Why does Jesse study the Chinese so much? Because he likes ethnic girls.

Starting point is 00:48:14 He does. But his girl is not Chinese. No, that's what you do. That's what the Italians do. Right. They marry a woman like Ma. He needed somebody who could cook her sauce. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:48:23 And his wife would cook her sauce. Yeah. And then you get fantasy gumaas in your head. It's what it is. Yeah. And his are Chinese. His are all immigrant. Yeah. I mean, if you went through his Rolodex,

Starting point is 00:48:32 there's not one white lady in there. It's much like yours. It's what it is. His fantasies look like the DMV. Yeah. Yeah. It looks like a community college brochure. It's what it is.

Starting point is 00:48:42 Yeah. I mean, he does not like anything white. The darker the better. Yeah. That's what Jesse goes. He's like you. He's Dominican. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:48:51 He get lost in it. You just get lost in it. You get, yeah. But what they did, this is another sneaky thing they did, is they're lending out a lot of money. Like they did, I think, they're trying to like build these trade routes by buying up these ports. And the way they do it is they lend money.

Starting point is 00:49:04 They did it in Greece with the Peres. So they lent Greece the money when the Greece was down on its luck and then Greece couldn't pay it back so they said guess what? We don't need to pay it back, it's just ours now. That's what they did with the Congo for the cobalt mines. They lent them the money they said you know what forget about it we're just going to take the cobalt and the Congo can't do anything. That's what they're doing. is really the Belt and Road initiative it's part of their foreign policy to it's smart put forth their influence their economic influence their cultural influence there they're trying to do what we've done right they're trying to

Starting point is 00:49:36 do what we've done they're trying to push their culture they're trying to push their economic power them then why do we have to make them an enemy why not let's just let's just be all on the same side? Because we found out, I think, that they say they want cooperation, but they're doing another thing. Right. They're doing another thing. Right. Because these kids, the Xi Jinping, the president now,

Starting point is 00:49:57 he's like a dictator, right? He's never gonna leave. And you know, I hear all these pundits, it's so funny, and sometimes they're comedians, you know, I hear all these pundits, it's so funny, and sometimes they're comedians, you know, sometimes, and they make their money by, you know, their punditry, and sometimes they do stand-up, or whoever they may be. You hear them a lot of times take the side of Putin and stuff, not by saying, I support Putin.

Starting point is 00:50:18 They always go, he's a bad guy, whatever, but he's going like, what are we doing in Ukraine, whatever. And it's like, I don't know. I don't know if it's good. I don't love that we're sending a lot of money there. I don't love that either. But there's gotta be a reason. There's gotta be some sort of national security reason

Starting point is 00:50:31 that we're doing it beyond the profits. Maybe, maybe it's just profits. I don't know, don't get on me. But if you do, just put it in the comments and start a war because it's good for engagement. Yeah, that's what it is. But my point is, is like they go, Putin doesn't want more. He doesn't want more.

Starting point is 00:50:44 It's going like, oh, oh, so Putin's the only guy who's just happy with a little. Right. Unlike all the rest of us. Right. The no end to up rest of us. What do you think dictator's personality is? You think they're satisfied ever? Look at history. What's the type of personality that becomes a dictator? Yeah. A guy who doesn't want to stop going up. Doesn't want more and more and more land. We don't do that to be honest with you. The red, white, and blue doesn't do that. We do it a little bit. We do it with

Starting point is 00:51:11 influence and stuff. But we go into countries and we leave them. When's the last time America has taken any land? No, we left Afghanistan. We left them all. I mean we make sure that they're popular. We are about to. Trump wants to buy Greenland. He wants Greenland. I mean, he wants Canada. He wants Canada because buying Greenland is funny. It is funny, yeah. But there must be, I wonder if he's pulling a Chinese move and there's a resource in Greenland that we don't know about yet, and then we're going to own something that we really need in 20 years. Huzz, you want to hear something? We could do another episode on it, but I'll just do a little sneak preview here. Yeah. At some point Greenland was offered to the Zionists for

Starting point is 00:51:47 how much less problems would we have if that was just called Frisbee land. If they just, instead of the Middle East, they put them in Greenland. But you know what it was, you know the Jews, they went there and they went, are you kidding me? This is way too cold. I am not dealing with this. The weather is horrible. I went there. It's not like Florida. The place we got to go has got to be like Florida. I can't deal with this weather. Yeah. And we haven't figured out what- How is Marty going to get to his appointments on the ice? He can't get there. It's too cold outside. It's too depressing. Oh, it's a whole thing.

Starting point is 00:52:20 There's no Chinese there for the restaurants on Christmas. And I'm just not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm just not going to do it. That's all. It's what it is. But how much better would things be? When did they offer them Greenland? At the same time, it was offered as one of the places they could have. There was another place in Africa they could have went. I mean, why? It's just because of the weather. And they go, look, we haven't figured out the way yet to control the weather. Yeah. Now they're looking back and they go, we probably should have went to Greenland because we could have controlled it.

Starting point is 00:52:49 Yeah. We could have made more sun happen with our space lasers. Yeah. But that's a real thing. We should probably do it. We'll do an episode on that. We'll do an episode on that because we're going to do a Patreon on a wild guy. What's that guy's name?

Starting point is 00:52:59 Oh, the guy that you sent me. Hold on. Maybe we'll do a full episode on him. We should do a full episode on him. Because those guys are fun. The Patreon is either gonna be about this guy, Nika Taras, who talked open shit to the Muslims back in the day. I mean, wild things.

Starting point is 00:53:13 You're probably right. That should probably go on the Patreon. Let's go on Patreon because he's outwardly taking Muhammad's name in vain, which you cannot do. You would get killed for that. The Greek guy. Yeah, during the Ottoman Revolution. Or if our Joe Rogan episode is out, we're gonna do a play-by-play of the Joe Rogan episode, because a lot of stuff happened behind the scenes and during the show that got wild

Starting point is 00:53:29 that we just can't say on YouTube, because if he hears it, he's never going to invite us back on. That's right. That's right. So we'll figure that out, but either way, it's going to be, as Chris would say, a fun, fun, fun time. Fun, fun, fun time. We're going to continue this, Puppy, at patreon.com slash historyieners right now.

Starting point is 00:53:42 Yeah. All right, folks, if you went to patreon.com slash historyieners, we're right now. Yeah. All right, folks. If you want to patreon.com slash history, I know it's we're going to read your name again. Winner of the funniest name gets the PPW pseudo penis of the week. Welcome to the major arcade. These are our new members. Daniel Stevenson, Jacob Stein, Bo Asperger, Chris Whitmer, Andy P gringo, Andrew Dunning, Matthew Bullard. Then we got when the glue hit your eye like a piece by your thigh. That's from are a put them on the list That's on the list. So we have one that just got catapulted onto the list and shout out to gringo for a chicken finger That's it. Yeah, then we got Tampa's finest steakhouse glory hole

Starting point is 00:54:16 Yeah, Drexler really good one Drexler means you were close you didn't make it then we got Foley's Ozempic needle Very good Drexler. Yeah, Vaseline basil the $3 Billy. Oh Vaseline Vasili the $3 Billy Sorry, damn good. These are three good Drexlers in a row. Jacked doughboy. Then we got Omar Gafour Then we got Shlomi. I only paid for the $5 tier two to my religious beliefs Goldstein For the funny factor then we got Palestinian parking lot attendant. Uh, Drexler good one. But that's interesting. We got an Israeli, a Jew, and back to back to back to back to back. We bring everyone together. That's it. Beautiful. Through comedy. Then we got Doc, Chase Nemeth,

Starting point is 00:55:01 Darnall Hawkins. Then we got Fnooki Cookie. Chicken Finger. Chicken Finger. Then we got Jose Angel Valadez, then we got Jerry Colonel Jews. Drexler. Anthony, Nikita Jardim, Marissa, Jake Morgan, then we got Jewish Community Center Memphis. Okay. That could be screwed in.

Starting point is 00:55:23 Okay. Then we got glue gun leans to the left, but not the political views leave the statues alone Yes, yeah, I mean I was a good yeah, yeah, then we got throat clogger LLC That's a chicken figure and a Drexler. Yeah, yeah very funny. Andrew, Colin Davis, then we got Crumb Cakes, Kevin, yeah then we got Kevin Mitchell, then we got Pete Deep in my Buttich Hedge. Okay, okay Drexler. Then we got Blake Harve, then we got Sal Vulcano's downstairs neighbor, Jesus Christ is loud. It's loud.

Starting point is 00:56:05 I don't know what that means. Johnny Clements. Then we got Peshkadeels on wheels. Chris Rattigan. Then we got I Can't Read This One. That's their name. It's funny. Drexler, just the funny of that.

Starting point is 00:56:21 Invention. Then we got Chris Ackerman. Then we got Bobby Lee's homemade prolapse noodles Drexler, okay, then we got my ex had a mean na mean ladder 14 piece inside of her when I walked in it's just what it is You walked in his chick begging a black guy The rhyme scheme and yeah, yeah Then we got uh, Lil Squeak, Benjamin, Brandon Wong, Temple. Lil Squeak gets a chicken figure. Lil Squeak, chicken figure. Because that's a double-double, he's a real small guy. I like that,

Starting point is 00:56:54 yeah. Then we got Weishan Xian Gillis. Good one. Weishan Shane Gillis. Yeah, Drexler. Then we got P. Diddy, the baby oil fiend trying to make a Puerto Rican cream. Drexler. Chips Malloy, JK, B Stans 94, Jaden Dukic, Brett Jordan, Joe Biden, Jason, Giovanni Daza, Fumala Harris, we've had that. Daniel Lebron, Vinny Spizzali. Vinny Spizzali, how you doing? My family's got a plumbing company. What it is. Then we got Daniel Campana, Mace. Can we do like a sauce monkey award? Yeah. Just a shout out. Yeah. Sauce monkey award. Goes to you. Daniel Campana. Yeah. No, the other guy. Oh, Vinny Spazali. Yeah, Vinny Spazali wins the sauce monkey award. Yeah, you win. Yeah, just for being a grease ball. We'll have a Polak award, a Jew award, and a sauce monkey award for regular names that just deserve a shout out. Yeah. Then we got Mace, Benavi, he put the Indian flag. Then we got Lewis Boyd, Stinky McPoo-poos,

Starting point is 00:57:51 Cracking Open and Cleaning Out My Shame Cave. Shame Cave, interesting. Then we got Jacob, the Barghazi episode is wild and doesn't get talked about enough, Cansko. Yeah, that was a contentious episode. I don't remember that one. You weren't there for that one. It was just me and Nate. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. It got wild?

Starting point is 00:58:08 Yeah, yeah, me and him were old friends. And we would, you know. Is this recent? No, this was a long time ago. This is when he was starting to pop. But make no mistake, if we had him on again, the episode would not be that way. It would be like, Nate, yeah.

Starting point is 00:58:19 Yeah, hi. Yeah, hi. No, he's still a good friend. Jeff, KG, Brian Ailing, Zach Safie, Kyle Jacobson, Chrissy Seaman-Demon, Joe Ray Gonzalez, Cutler Finch, Abby, Jeffrey Mason, Shivari, Brandon Victor, someone get me a Blue Chew Chrissy. Kiss me in Poughkeepsie and say that you miss me.

Starting point is 00:58:40 List. List? List. You list. Got it. Cal Anderson, Jackson Schumacher, Madison M, Carson Quinn, JDawg14, List. List? List. You list. Got it. Yeah. Cal Anderson, Jackson Schumacher, Madison M, Carson Quinn, JDawg14, Coulter Komlovsky,

Starting point is 00:58:50 Bluechew Benny, Father Bill's homemade cock rocket. Bluechew Benny's, but those are two chicken figures. Okay. Sarah Zatar, SV1, Situation with the Father Bill, 3 Second Pump,, glue gun dump, SLOKS. Joe Smith, Dylan Bonfield, making Chrissy Bussie Lucy until it's Nancy Pellucy. Okay. It's a good attempt.

Starting point is 00:59:15 Yep, Aria Gozal, Ike Duffy, Billy Garcia, Gonzalo Munoz. Then we got beat my meat to Yanni P's feet in 16th Chapel. Drexler. Drexler. Louis Perez, then we got Tom, my skin flute smells like Chrissy's poop chute, Homan. D-rexler. Okay, got close. D-rexler, close.

Starting point is 00:59:36 So we got Fume so bad the Führer called for tips. Drexler. Then we got Chrissy D, Fat Twinkie Tits. Matina Demetis, Zach Zephanoff, Brian Hamilton, Christine Asensio, then we got Mommy Says Stavis Babies, my new daddy. Then we got Married a Girl with a Big Ass and No Rack, so I can pretend it's Chrissy D. when I hit it from the back. It's what it is. Yeah, list.

Starting point is 01:00:01 Yeah, list. Okay, you're on. Yeah. No clear contenders yet. Not yet, which is good. Not yet, Liz. Yeah, Liz. Okay, you're on. Yeah. No clear contenders yet. Not yet, which is good. Yeah. Andres Aspuland, Lick Pechoni, Cucker Spaniel. That's a chicken finger.

Starting point is 01:00:14 Yes, that chicken finger. Then we got Akash Singh's spin-off show, The Fragrant Podcast. If he was Asian, would yeah South Asian yeah We got Seth Nuttall then then we got Gage the Ginger with a not so big wiener, Garfield Lasagna, Eric Junkman, East Harlem drunk driver, Wardo, then we got 90% WAP, 10% clean ass. That's a great chicken figure.

Starting point is 01:01:00 Yeah, yeah. Then we got Cum Cousla Lynn Harris, Victor Sieck. Then we got Montenegrin, cutie with fumes, so broody they can take you physically with Lada 14, off my booty. Oh, I just wanna say to you, Jezimala, Kezimala. Kezimala. Josh, Jakka.

Starting point is 01:01:17 Dobre, Kakosse. Alessandro Lucalano, Willem, Noah Giehan, German Jani, but I tell people I'm Hungarian. Nicholas David, Cashmere Cameron, Amanda, Philly Dilly, Licky My Willy, Kevin Weiss, Trent, Mark Forkosh, Thomas Leake Jr., Jorge, Dinosco. Okay, walked into one. Walked into one, sorry. Yeah, walked into one.

Starting point is 01:01:42 Yeah, security. Sorry about that. Security. Brad Bertha, Hot Tuna, Esteban Esqueda, Rob Baker, Jake Haddon, Conrad, Marco Took You FFs Long Enough Rodriguez, Shane's Reddit account, whatever happened to the Lovesac,

Starting point is 01:01:58 Justin, Justin, yeah, I know. I actually, I gave it to Otis. Oh. Otis has it. Yeah. Jack McGuire. You wanna put a black light on that thing. Yeah, it know. I actually, I gave it to Otis. Oh. Otis has it. Jack McGuire. You wanna put a black light on that thing. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:02:10 When me and Jasmine got back together, that was the first thing that got moved. Yeah. She said, this is out of here. Yeah, there's a lot of talk of things that happened on that. Yep, can't have it. So what can you do? Josh Holtz, Nick, Nick Jacobs, Michael DiCaro,

Starting point is 01:02:22 Aaron Hipp, AI, Joshua Winters, Adam Starlina, Zachary Storey, Mark S. O'Dell, Sawy not Sawy. Okay. Okay, walked into one. Yeah. Well, we just did a whole episode like that. Yes. That's what it is.

Starting point is 01:02:37 It's a chicken figure. Chicken figure. Then we got Fat Cuck in need of Jesse's fingers. List. List. Buddy Facts. Jesse likes to sculpt fat people. Yeah, lists.

Starting point is 01:02:46 Then we got Celine Rodriguez. Then we got Tyler. Welcome back, Cussies. Thank you. Thank you. James Byrne, Chad Rosenblum, Jacob Gill, Daniel Tambini, Hunter Good, Colin Coyle, Renee Boyle, Jimmy Jeter, Lost Child Sab, Daddy's been a bad girl. Okay. Phil B, Brandon Williams, Joe Magritte, Stevie Poonjabs, Alejandro Garcia, Sam Oxley-Burns, Matt, Misjudgmental, Sammy Sauce Monkey, Gabriel

Starting point is 01:03:14 Solorio. Welcome guys. Welcome. Straight to the backs, a lot of straight to the back. I like that. Then we got Gabriel Torres, AI Rodis, Chrissy Cumslut, then we got Witch Hazel in my bagel, Chickenfinger, J, then we got my Bull Moose Knuckle wants Chrissy Pompous Butthole, Jason Minning, Harley Coates, Hillary C and Donny T had a kid, It Was Me, Ladder 14 Okay, okay. Adam Lozaro, Canada, Canada Duckett, okay. Amy Mandryacek, Kristen Nothing, Brad Clower, Yanni's Kamal Toe Harris is showing, Kamal Toe, we spelled it like Kamala, okay. Ty Tang, Eric Erickson, Shane, ABP, Chico Bandito, Robert Newman, Andrew, not a fan of Yanni, Unions, Carnegie? Not a fan of Unions?

Starting point is 01:04:11 Okay. Okay. Okay. Bruce Gill, then we got Fumari Cooper, wide receiver for the Buffalo $3 bills. Drexler. Drexler. Strong Drexler. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:04:21 Then we got Rub Your Frank on My Beans Before You Crack Me Open. Chicken Finger. Tiger. Then we got George Washi had no party but he had slave teeth. But he had slave teeth. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

Starting point is 01:04:35 Close. Harry D. Kurt P. Stiffpecker 69. Brian Mack. Matt. Okay, we'll do a few more. Oliver Nabavian. Come A Lot Harris. Matt Buckley.

Starting point is 01:04:45 Wait, Cumulant-Harris is good. Let's just get Chicken Figures. Okay, Chicken Figure, Cumulant-Harris, yeah. The Dale, then we got Michi White Bean Benitez. Then we got Thought I Was Italian, but 23andMe said I was Leroy. Okay. Wow, that's tough for the family. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:05:02 For Italians? Yeah. Then we got Daniel D. Lewis. For Italians? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then we got Daniel D'Aluis. Then we got Elon's population paste, will save the Martian race. Okay. Population paste is good. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:05:12 Jay Drogsler. Okay, walked into one. Okay, then walked into one. Security, security. Yeah, security for that. Sorry about that. Yeah, walked into one. Then we got Joe Biden Shower Drain.

Starting point is 01:05:21 Funny Chicken Finger. Blake Weinstein, Band Twist. Then we got Frank Cipri. Right there, you got the Fris Chicken Finger. Blake Weinstein, Ben Twist, then we got Frank Ciprian. Right there you got the Frisbee Award. Blake Weinstein, Blake Weinstein got the Frisbee Award. Ben Twice, Frank Ciprian, Ethan Oja, Kurt Widman, Matthew Jamison, Zach Massey, Matthew Greiner, then we got Albanian Grim Reaper, Deeper into Chrissy D's anal zipper. Josh Peck, Michael Sheehan, Chris Papa's voting ballot. Okay.

Starting point is 01:05:49 Ben Hickman, Graham Marsh, Daniel Finnan, Kyle Straight to the Back, How About Come on My Back. Okay. Drex, Drex, Drexler. Drexler. Matthew Carpenter, Samantha, Matthew Mulrooney, Chris, Jack Ruby, oh wow, Jack Ruby, killer. Back from the dead.

Starting point is 01:06:04 Nico Ruiz, Dave, Noemi Soto, Ben Maruni, Chris, Jack Ruby, oh wow, Jack Ruby, killer. Back from the dead. Nico Ruiz, Dave, Noemi Soto, Ben Schnar, then we got Fumark the Frisbee Zuckerberg, John C Dempsey, Kristen Escarga, Samuel Marshall, Skyler Oliveras, Lou G, Rafi D'Souza, Franken, Logan Negley, Mike Izzy, Kristen Belsky, then we got Vivek Romswami offends Amy Hammers-Mami. Army Hammers-Mami, shit, sorry. Watching laser beam drag race like a FF. Chrissy lets Lincoln do it in the Butichedge. Dustin Morris, then we got Uncle Russell's pussy.

Starting point is 01:06:42 Put him on the list. Put him on the list because it's a cat joke. Yeah, yeah, put him on the list. Put him on the list because it's a cat joke. Yeah, put him on the list. That pussy has two... Yeah, double entendre. Double entendre and we got a contender. Milkman, then we got full-time follower. They walked into one.

Starting point is 01:06:57 That's it, yeah. Tim Dillon's burp cloth. Drexler. Alex Perez, Jonathan Osorio, Justin Ferrara, James Fusilli, Jerry Colleen O'Reilly, Sid. And then, let's see. Okay, let me just read these. Then we got Father Bill made me sound like RFK Jr.

Starting point is 01:07:18 I feel like we had that one. We had a better version of that. Yeah. Who almost won last week. Yeah. Then we got looking like misters, the Menendez sisters giving my dick blisters from giving it twisters.

Starting point is 01:07:30 Drexler, good though. OK. Tim Dillon's calling me. Yeah. Yeah. Then we got, told Stefano the barber, give me the Chrissy, and I walked out of Parnash speaking German. It's what it is, cousin.

Starting point is 01:07:40 Wow, he remembers Parnash. Parnash. Yeah. Father Bill's seen Janis Ween and Chrissy's Bean, Ladder 14. Good rhyme scheme Drexler. Then we got Ladder 14, Underwhelm Her Glue Gun, My Own Face, I'm Elmer. Okay. Okay. Then we got Baddie with the bald cap. Then we got Twink for the Table, Save My Wishbone for the Kids, it's what it is. Drexler. Okay. Then we got All Balls, Tim Walls, Micro Glue Gun. Then we got Tampa Tony's Leftover Tuna Sandwich.

Starting point is 01:08:10 It's a good one. Chicken figure. Then we got the 2-inch Clit Sex Monkey. Drexler. Then we got Baron Von Fuckenstein. Chicken figure. Then we got Anthony 1-8th Ginzo, Aquafresca. Chicken figure.

Starting point is 01:08:24 Then we got January 6th was a Ginzo, aqua fresca Chicken figure then we got January 6 was a character piece light of 14, right? Then we got come to Australia already Chrissy D you FF. Okay, then we got Pete I like it deep in the booty fudge. Okay We got I am ran job Jordan Esteban. Then we got Chrissy super sperm spawned the situation Then we got uncle touchy's puzzle basement situation. Then we got Uncle Touchy's Puzzle Basement. Huh? Then we got... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Uncle Touchy's Puzzle Basement.

Starting point is 01:08:50 What does that mean? That means that the pedophile uncle's got sort of a... A game room. A game room for the kids. Okay, what do we think? So we're gonna put him on the list. Okay. Yeah. Yes.

Starting point is 01:09:01 Yes. Then we got Chrissy Bitchs. I dare I say contender. Yeah. Yeah. Then we got Chrissy bitch. I dare I say contender. Yeah Yeah, then we got Chrissy bitch sits and here we got a contender for the Italian sauce monkey ward Ricky ravioli Yeah, there you go runner up vanilla thunder then we got banged out three dollar father bill Chris Schroder Aos a oh, let me see your asshole Leroy Drexler, okay, Jesse Hart Ryan Young then, then we got Matt, half white, half Mexican, full blown AIDS.

Starting point is 01:09:29 Drexler. Drexler, okay. Good funny Drexler. Good funny Drexler. Okay, so here's the list. Here's what we have to go to for the list. We have to just say this. We have no true contender right now.

Starting point is 01:09:37 No true contenders really, and I gotta say, compared to previous, I don't mean to insult anyone, but this one didn't bring the heat, because there's no clear contenders. No clear contenders. No, no, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. contender right now. True contenders really and I gotta say compared to previous I don't mean to insult anyone but this one didn't bring the heat because there's no clear contenders. No clear contenders. Which can be fun. There was there was none of them that really stopped by all but thank you for good efforts and by the way you could also always go back and change your name I believe you can. Yeah and like my dad used to say no showstoppers. No showstoppers.

Starting point is 01:10:01 But that's okay. That's okay. That's okay, because hey, we go up, we go down. It's life's a roller coaster, folks. Well, this makes the competition fun. Yeah, it's what it is. Because a lot of times you just know who's going to win. Yeah. OK, so we got Uncle Touchy's Puzzle Basement. Contender.

Starting point is 01:10:14 Still in the race. Contender. OK, I'm circling him. Still in the race. Contender. OK, then we got Uncle Russell's Pussy. Contender. Contender.

Starting point is 01:10:21 So he is being circled as right now. So then we have, OK. So then we have Fat Cuck in Need of Jessie's Fingers. I'm going to Drexler it. OK, so they're out. Yeah. OK, so then we got Kiss Me and Poughkeepsie and Say That You Miss Me.

Starting point is 01:10:36 I love that one, but I'm going to Drexler it. They're out. OK. Then we got Akash Singh's spin-off show, The Fragrance Podcast. Contender. Contender, so we're circling them. Yes.

Starting point is 01:10:46 Then we got Married a Girl with a Big Ass and No Rack, so I Could Pretend It's Chrissy Dee When I Hit It From the Back. It's what it is. Any other day. Any other day, so they are out, so we got here. So then we have When Da Glue Hits Your Eye Like a Pizza Pie, By Your Thigh, That's Fumare. I hate to do it, because that is a goodie but Drexler. They're out.

Starting point is 01:11:06 Okay. Sorry about that. And then we got Shlomi, I only paid for the $5 tier due to my religious beliefs Goldstein. Hilarious, but it's being Drexlered. It's out. Then we got Glu Gun leans to the left, but not the political views leave the statues alone. Drexlered.

Starting point is 01:11:19 It's truly on any other day. There are some good ones here. Yeah, but then we had my ex had a mean, nah mean, latter 14 piece inside of her when I walked in. It's just what it is. It's just what it is. That happens. You'd be a Drexler, but on any other day, I'd get another good one.

Starting point is 01:11:34 So then here it is between these three. Akash Singh's spin-off show, The Fragrant Podcast, Uncle Russell's Pussy, or Uncle Touchy's Puzzle Basement. Okay. I'm going to Drexler Akash. Okay. So you're out Akash. So now it is between Uncle Russell's Pussy and Uncle Touchy's Puzzle Basement. All right. I got a clear cut winner here. Okay. Okay. I want to give a shout out to Uncle Russell's Pussy for the double entendre.

Starting point is 01:12:00 Yeah. I do. Okay. But the Puzzle Basement is just very inventive. Okay. And so for me, it's Puzzle Basement. Yeah, I do. Okay. But I the puzzle basement is just very inventive. Okay. And so for me, it's puzzle basement. Yes. So congratulations to the PPW. You can see your name at HistoryHyhenusIsBack.com. Uncle Touchy's puzzle basement. Thank you so much. Come see us January 18th live show Washington DC Lincoln Theater. Go to HistoryHyhenusIs Back dot com for those tiki wikis.

Starting point is 01:12:25 Yeah, and go to Yanis Papas Comedy dot com for dates coming up in Cleveland, in Chicago, in Philadelphia, in Missouri, and whatever else is up there, Yanis Papas Comedy dot com. And they're also, your dates are also up at History of Hyenas is Back dot com. That's right. So you can go to that one as well. Make it easy. Go get the January 18th and go get whatever you want. That's what it is folks and I will be in San Francisco in February and then we've added

Starting point is 01:12:49 Tampa and Orlando in March and then March and Tampa Orlando March 14th 15th and March 30th Providence Rhode Island all those shows at historyisback.com or ChristyComedy.com. We love you.

History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - China vs. The Boys

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