History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - Clocking with Joey Camasta | History Hyenas

Episode Date: April 2, 2026

The Hyenas are BACK and this one is a certified kiki 😜🔥 Chris and Yanni sit down with longtime friend, comedy wild card, and certified gay icon Joey Camasta for an episode that goes everywhere. The boys catch up on life, get into Joey’s love affair with fashion, and hear all about his adventures in Paris—because you KNOW the stories are unhinged. From plastic surgery talk to the realities (and hilarities) of gay life, nothing is off limits and everything is on the table. It’s loud, it’s chaotic, it’s hilarious—and it’s just three friends letting it fly. Come for the laughs, stay for the absolute madness. #HistoryHyenas #JoeyCamasta #ComedyPodcast #GayIcon #StandUpComedy #NYCComedy #Paris #Fashion #PodcastLife Support our sponsors: Use Discount Code “HYENAS” to claim your FREE JumpStart Trial Bag at https://RuffGreens.com For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://hims.com/HYENAS. Right now, Mizzen & Main is offering our listeners 20% off your first purchase at https://mizzenandmain.com, promo code HYENAS20 Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas/ Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit.ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0 Hyenas Merch!!! https://store.historyhyenaspod.com Follow us Cuz! 🙆🏻‍♂️ Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ 🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ 🐕More Hyenas Website: www.historyhyenasisback.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/historyhyenas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HistoryHyenas Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/historyhyenaspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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We haven't seen this kid in five years. And he's just his face. He's as a woman's face. He is someone who could have transitioned, wanted to transition, but didn't transition. He's just gay. Yeah. If you want to see me and Chrissy look like men, watch this episode. This one's for the ladies and the fans. For the ladies and the fans and go to patreon.com slash history hyenas after this because the episode we have on Patreon may be our best one yet. We went nuts. We went nuts. Catch me on the road in Boston, West Nyack, New York. and Emmaus, Pennsylvania. Tickets at Janus Pappascom.com. Enjoy this episode.

Speaking of nuts, Joes are about to be in your mouth. Yeah. What's up, everybody? No need to prolong this. We're here with the great Joey Kamasta. We've been wanting him back for a while. She's back.

And he's back, and he's from France. Yes. Joey, that's what, so we haven't seen you in a, Jesus, five years. Yeah. And now you're from France now. Yeah. From Paris. I went to Paris and it changed me.

Yeah. Right. I suck a bagette up there and then next thing you know. Does Paris change a person the way they say, is it the romantic city it is? I don't care about the romance. I just like that it's, you know, just kind of highbrow and like, you know, they don't flow around there. No, there's no nonsense there.

If they don't like it, they tell you right to your face. I like that too. They're like Paris men are like American black women. They'll just tell you how it is. Yeah. How about T-I-Is. Tis. Yeah.

Now, let me tell you something. What happens is we live in a world of algorithms. We live in a world of shelters. You don't know, like the whole world, all living in a little bubbles. And what miraculous thing happened to me about three weeks ago, whenever I texted you, three, four weeks ago, miraculous thing happened to me. My algorithm changed. I started dilating when I got the text message immediately.

I was so excited. My algorithm changed. And all of a sudden, out of nowhere, I started getting all your content. And you came back into my life. You came back into my life. And I immediately said to myself, is happening fast. I trust him, but just to stay safe, I'm going to start taking prep because Joey's, you know, in my life for now and I want to have fun, unprotected phone with Joey.

Right. Exactly. And so I texted you and then I realized that we hadn't even spoken in two years because the algorithm shifted us out of each other's worlds. You're on gay black Twitter. Yes. I became, I was going the Andrew Schultz route. So I said, and I said, Joey is now back of my life. And now every day I wake up to a gasoline of coffee. Yeah. Even, some, One of the stuff that he does, I was going to go to rhythm, rhythm zero, because you gave it nine out of five, and the fucking line was out the door. Yeah, that's why. And I said, I can't go.

I would never have time. The review, they can't keep on the shelf. So that your, your coffee reviews, I literally, that's the only ones, because the pizza reviews, I mean, I get it. It's such a, it's important or whatever. But these things, I literally, we went to cafe, arcane bar. Remember the one that we've been there? No.

We were going to try to go, but off your review, I said, not going now. It was like radioactive battery acid. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I can't have that now that I'm skinny, so I have to just drink coffee. You do look very skinny.

Can you tell us what's going on? Well, I'm just on a lethal dose of a gLP ones. We were talking about peptides. We've been talking about peptides. I didn't know what a peptide was. They had peptide lip gloss, peptide injections. Copper one for the skin. Yeah, I didn't know what it was.

I still don't know what it is. But apparently I've been taking them for years. It's the GLP1 is a peptide. So what do you do, the Ozempic? I know. That's for amateurs. I take Zepound. Zepat bound.

That's trizipatide. Trizipat. That's the one I like... That's a GLP, too. Oh, is it? That's the GLP, too. So you get the weight, so you get the insulin sensitivity

and the appetite control, and then they have Vrida True time, which is the GLP. I'm trying to get that one. You want the Rata? I got a guy. I want to start stacking. I want to start stacking.

Like, what else do you want to do? I just, I know there's a strong one out there. I know there's a drug that I can't have. I want it. So does baby girl not eat at all anymore? No, I eat, but I do, I have sponsored by Weight Watchers right now, so I do weight watchers.

Correct. Yeah. Wow. Because the food, do you ever come? Grow back? It's still around. It's better than ever. Yeah.

Because, because, yep, Jenny Craig is, I think he's dead now. It's me and Oprah. Yes. Holden it down, Lizzo. Do you? Lizzo's got to be on GOP. Yeah, they only hire overweight black women. That's why they brought me in.

They know their demo. Because the way he cooks, have you ever, like, Joey needs to cook with a meal. I want, I've been saying this. I want to come over. Come over. I'm going to start doing that. I'm going to start filming some stuff at the house. Come on over.

Have a little chat and chew. Right. Right. Right. So because Byrd had that thing, something's burning. Yeah. But you do it better. I saw you're on that. Yeah. Something's burned. You got something burning and our urine. Yeah. It was a good show, but I did doze off. He's funny as hell, but just wasn't the right fit.

Yeah. And he needs to get on in GOP1. Yeah. You ever see his dick print? No. Pull it up, Jesse. It's in the light blue speedo. Yes. Yeah. He's got a hot on him. What happened on my phone? No, I don't think he does. Does he? He does?

He does? Yes. Bert, maybe Kreisher dick print, light blue speed. And Joey knew it immediately. He said the light blue. I can pull it up. Who's really got some good dick prints that you've been, like, have you seen some good ones? Is he up there? Yes.

No, that's not it. Does he have a nice penis? Yes, it's curves up. Whoa. That's what we want, right? A curved up peep? I like it because it hits all the right spots. Sure.

Right. Now, yeah, Joey. Light blue speedo. There it is. There it is. No, no, no. No. You just found it.

There is right there. Oh, wow. And if you can. And the light blue right there. Wow. His whole thing. And he's got abs. He looks great, actually.

So he must be on a GLP one. Yeah. That's fake. You think those are fake those abs? Yeah. You wouldn't take a hit of poppers and swallow that thing? No. Okay.

No, I would do poppers though. Yeah. Mateo Lane, we did a little podcast last time he taught me how to do. I actually enjoyed that. Does he have an attachment on the shower? He went into the bathroom and he was like something? He showed you how to do it? Yeah.

Did he stick it in his ass? No, we filmed it together. No, no. He closed the door and he would coach me through it. Did you lay on the floor with your chest on the floor? No, I sat up so the water goes up into your colon. No, I sat up. I sat on over a toilet pole and I just put it in my ass and started squeezing.

How do you get it up there? If you really want to get up there, you have to lay on the floor like this. Right. Ass in the air so it goes down on a downward motion all the way up in there. So I'll have to do it again. You teach me. Maybe we'll do that on the cooking show. Did you do it into the water turn clear?

Yes. Okay. Yeah, and it was good. Yeah. And he told me, they came and inspecting. So you know if you shit on someone when you know what they call it when you're having sex?

Painting him. Right. Did you paint him, girl? Yes. Mama, did you paint her? Have you painted any men recently? No, I would never.

You don't do that. You're not gross like that. Is it really embarrassing? I would never do that, no. Joey's very clean. Yeah. So it's basically the same rules as hydration. You pee until you're clear and when you get your ass.

If a girl was bottoming for you and you found shit on your dick, would you ever call her again? No. It's happened to me. Yeah. You got put you on your peat in naughty circles. Yes. One time, yeah, one time

this isn't the Patreon, but, you can only talk about scat on the Patreon? Well, because our wives listen to this, they don't, the wives won't pay. Yeah. But, yeah.

So yeah. I mean, sometimes, there's been some paintings. Yonnes has got poopy on his group. Yeah, I mean, we've all had it. Yeah. It happens. You just have to roll with that.

I'm not a big fan, though, of the two whole. Who would be? I guess, I guess there are scat queens. Skat queens. I've never done anal in my life, actually. You haven't. No, never done.

Never received either for the, I thought that's what you were talking about. Now, are you watching any, you know, because he did used to work for Barstall? Are you watching any sports? Are you watching the college tournament? I'm watching the college. My boyfriend is a huge college football team. You have a boyfriend now?

Wow. Four years. Oh my, my God. You never talked about him. I wanted him to come today. You look like a kept woman. Yeah. He's a big sports fan.

Oh my God. And, yeah, he's, I started to watch all the March Madness is. Was he watching last night? With the Yukon game, you watching? Yeah, all the, all the, um, the, um, the, the, um, the, the bets we had to do the brackets and all that do you find are of any of the players caught your eye anybody like really stand out as very handsome or high uh cooper flag Cooper flag yeah he's in the NBA now but you thought he's cute yeah is that the one I'm

thinking of Cooper flag was yes he was a big he was a one draft pick yeah yeah I remember him now what about there that here's the honey now can you pull up Cameron Boozer um well I want to see I was interested to know because I was I like um this is college now this college yeah put in Cameron Boozer Jesse um I because I wanted to see, because I personally was watching this. I said, this man's a handsome man, but I wanted, I was excited to have you on, what do you think? This is Cameron Boozer. I mean, I couldn't bring him home, but I think he's very good looking. And why could you bring him home? Um, because I'm taken. Right. Right. Sure. Right. That's why. Yeah. I can't believe you have a

boy from four years. Yes. I never took you for a relationship type. It just happened. Yeah. It just happened. I wasn't looking at when you find it when you're not looking for it. Do you want to see a picture? Yes. And tell us how it happened. How did that happen? Well, I met him. This is him the other day on the roof. He's a younger gentleman. Oh, wow. Look at him. Is he on peptides? No. He's just handsome and thin. And that's your rooftop. No, it's his rooftop. He's got a

nice place. So he's like a bro kind of. Yeah. Yeah. He played, you know, football and college. Wow. He went to college. Wow. How old? He looked 26. You've been with it for four years. See, in the gay community, it doesn't matter. Like, in the gay community, if you have a young boyfriend, everyone's like, girl, go. I guess so. Same thing with

it's like Leonardo DiCaprio. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, but in heterosexuals, like, you couldn't be... You're dating an older woman. No. Is any... I'm kidding.

I know. A few months. Well, she's a few months older than me. But, but I'm saying like, I'm 41. If I had a 22-year-old girlfriend, people would be like, ill, gross. Yeah. But you have, if you have, if you have a 42-year-old boyfriend, it's okay. They probably still say it's gross, but...

But who cares? Yeah, gay guys don't care. No, no, it's totally different. I like, it's very freeing. Yeah. Yeah. Now, so what are you doing now? Like, the pod's over.

So what do you do besides gasoline us? So we still have a podcast. Yeah, that's still going. Yep, that's still going. We're starting up a new concept of it. Yeah, every Friday that comes out. And then I'm starting, you know, my own little cooking thing, just doing little do dads here and then.

I'm an influencer by trade. Yeah, she's an influencer now. Yeah, so I just stunt on these hoes downhound with my fashion videos and drink coffees and, you know, try to scam people for free shit. Right. Look at the bag I got. Let me see.

This is a $9,000 bag I got. How'd you get it? Vivrelle. If you go to use code Joey Kamasta at Vivrel, your first month free. Really? Yeah. So they gave that to you for free? I had to give it back. Right. Wait, you have to give it back? Yeah, eventually. Yeah. Or another one.

Yeah, I'm scamming the girls. Good. Yeah. Good. You know, and I like it. Yeah, because, and you know, and because you always get positive energy and I always just feel good. When I watch your Instagram content, it just makes me happy. If you do you follow Friday for me? Do you know I lose thousands of followers every time I post? Why? Yeah. Why is they? You said that. Why is that? Every time, so I wanted to post my video today to stunt on the host. Sure. With my, you know, I have Michael Jackson shoes on.

Whoa. I've been noticing the white sock look. Is that back? I think, well, it's very Parisian. Right, and it's very JFK Jr. Yes. Oh, are you watching that? I haven't, but I saw some of the comments on your things.

They both die at the end. Right. And the show. Yeah, right. Yeah. But, yeah, I lose thousands of people are hating on me. Why is it? They hate us because they ain't us.

Because they ain't us. That's right. I think a lot of it is people follow you. They always tell me to be a fat, funny person. They can't take that I'm so hot now. Well, that, I think that, and I think that I think they're following you. Air Chance Plant came through. Yes.

Oh, you did you go to Turkey? No, I went to talk to Chutella in New Jersey. Wow. It's Canover. It looks fantastic. How long ago did you do it? February last year. So, and it's just great.

It's growing. How much did it cost? I'm not sure. I think it's, it was, I don't know how much it was. Your boyfriend paid for it. Yeah. Yeah, nice. Yeah, but it feels nice to be like a kind of, you know.

You guys never needed that. No, we're good so far. So far. Our friend Jesse over here, The producer, he was talking. He wants to get the front shot. He was talking early. He wanted to get it done.

But I said, let's let Joey tell us. Do you think he needs it or do you think he's handsome without it? Handsome without it. But, you know, if you want it, it'll make you feel fish. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. I just want to bring it forward a little bit, right?

You know, still in this area right here. There's no reason. You don't feel anything. You just sit there and they put you on drugs and just like, you zone out. But what about the two weeks afterward? Does it is like it? Yeah. I don't remember.

I think you just like you sit up, you sleep sitting up like Frankenstein. Right. Right. But it's worth every penny, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. But you also, your lips too are a little... Those are also plumped. Yeah, plumped up, yeah. Yeah, I just came back. I had a black eye because I did some experimental fillers and I looked like I got punched, but now it's all down. Right. It's all, it's all smoothed out. Yes.

You know, you got to keep up with yourself. I'm almost 60 years old. Are you really? No. How old are you? 47? 47? You know? I did not. I thought you were in your late 30, girl. I thought 20s, yeah. When I ID you when you first came over that time, I was sure that I was being having a... I know. I know. It wasn't a minor. Oh, look at Robert Kelly. Look at that. He's another skinny one. Yeah, it looks good. Yeah.

He, that's Joe Camasta. Yeah. Who's that behind him? They can hear us talking. Yeah. Yeah, that's for you. Yeah, no, probably not. Is that the answer to Jane? He's going to die soon. Yeah. He looks horrible. Now, what do you think about what's going on with Ariana Grande? What's going on with her? She just looks like she's

like she's getting, like she has no blood in her body. Well, I think that she's trying to do all the years of damage she did with her Blackiana persona. She was trying to be Latina, then she was trying to be black,

and then she was trying to be whatever else she was. I mean, look at this. Is that not concerning? Well, I'm jealous. Yeah. And then she went through the Asian phase. I think that she went through her Korean phase

where she was trying to be Korean. Yeah. What is she? What is she? I think she's just like a... She's Latina. Is she Latina? Oh, she's Italian from Long Island, I think.

I think she's Italian from Long Island, I think she's like you. Yeah. I don't know. I just, I think she needs more mascara. Do you think she still needs to lose a few? Maybe. But this, this, you would like, you would not mind looking like that. That's goals.

You don't think that's concerning a little bit. I can see a rip cage. Yeah, but whatever, right? I just think she needs, maybe she's a ponytail, but me need a ponytail. Yeah. I don't mind. I don't mind. You know, in my generation, it was, you know, if you're considered successful if you look like you're about to die.

Yeah. That's what it is. Right. You know, the gays, it was either you couldn't be skinny and just, you know, and feel, I mean, I thought you already had AIDS. So wait. So where, you're from New Jersey or Long Island? New Jersey.

You're from New Jersey. Okay. So when you go home now, the new you, new sexy use felt you, well, like, how are you received in the town? I don't like to go around. I don't like to be in public in that area. Why? Because conservative.

I'm just too good for it. Yeah. I mean. Yeah. I get it. Like, I, they know I'm there,

but I don't want to, like, be harassed and stuff like that. You know, give them the, I don't want to give them the benefit of saying they rubbed elbows with me. No, because that's one thing about Joey we've talked about. He's always got positive energy.

You always walk with kind of the confidence that, you know, you're better. And I like that. Well, I want to live in the place where Joey is living. Right. Because then you know you're in a place that's good. Are you watching Paradise?

No, I never heard of them. But I saw the first season. Okay. And it was amazing. Is the second season even better? It just carries on. But I like that they live underground.

That's where I want to live. I'm going to live in an exclusive world. Once I finished the show The Pit, I'm almost through the show The Pit, the medical drama. It's a lot too. Yeah, my daughters. And we watch it with my daughters. And then the little one yesterday was like, can you please turn this off? It's scaring me.

It's too much blood. Oh. Yeah. So we had to stop. What is paradise? Paradise. It's about, it's like a dystopian. It's like almost like if it was the last, like the last of us.

And then like. what's the other one I think it's like it's like if the world ended yeah type thing yeah yeah but if the world ended and they live in the so all the elites they got they carved out the side of the mountain they have a whole real world and there with like a sky and everything else

they live in there but they're still an outside world but it feels feels very much like what could be 20 years from now fashion is fashion going anywhere new because it just seems like we're recycling is there anything new coming everything old is new again the 90s are very The 90s are baggy clothes are back.

Baggy clothes. Yeah, that's what I said. You can't have any. That's very 2016, a skinny gene in a Chelsea boot. Right. You'll spute it right away. Let me see what she has on.

This isn't right. No, the ankles, the calves are too tight. This isn't right. You need a straight leg. You know what you need to get. You need to get a 501 Levi's. So a little bit baggier? Yeah, but not too much on the ass and thighs.

You want it fitted, but then like straight-legged. Right. The sweatshirt up here. He looked through neck. Creanex are good. Do I look handsome? Yeah. Yeah.

No, I love it. I love it. I saw you looking at his dick print to see if it was there. I remembered that last time he showed it to me, but it was folded up on his stomach. It's good, right? Yeah. Yeah. I love it.

Yeah, because I remember one time he asked me. You showed it to me. I showed it to him, but then I remember one time I came in to do him in Stunkies Pockis and he requested I wear gray sweats. Yeah. And I did. And then he, you know, so okay, good. No, because that means a lot to me that I get approved by Joey. Oh, no.

Handsome. Yeah, I know. Okay. Amazing. Do you think like religious garb will ever come in style? Religious garb. That's the one place we haven't gone yet. What would kind of be?

Would it be cloaks? Yeah, like cloaks or like, you know. I think in some community. Cats. A tunic? Yeah, tunics, something like that. Right, chain mail? Yeah.

Like curls? Who knows? Yeah. The Met Gallo is coming. Maybe we'll see that. The Met Gallo. Are you guys going? No, I never get invited.

Do you have you ever been? I've never been. No, no. It's like, yeah. That's not for me. I mean, I'll eventually go, but. what is the best week what is the best like for us the best time as sports fans straight sports fans is we really think this these weeks the March madness is what are the best weeks for a gay man like what is your what is your March man is what is your Super Bowl of weeks red carpets right I guess yeah not for me award season award season I think for the gays it's summertime because that's where they can really be disgusting right fire island and but like the gay the gay parade downtown you're not going to that but you're not going to that fleet week fleet week is big Okay.

Okay. Not only the anal douche, but also the seaman that come to the port. Come right into your city. So, okay. Are you monogamous now with him? Yes. Yeah. I would never.

So, like, do you guys check each other? Like, you don't, there's no grinder on. No. I mean, that's the one thing. The great about the relationship. I can't even tell them in a relationship because it's so, so seamless. It's just, that's why I'm still here because it's just so easy. It's like, it's not, not drama.

It's drama free. So you were at a point where you, like, I don't want. I'm the first man he's ever been with. right i could i could tell that one you showed him in the picture i could tell that yeah how does that work joey's very good we've spoken about this a few years ago did you did you flip it i get in the under he knows how he knows how he knows how is he gay yes of course so he was he is now was he was he in a woman before yes is he still in a woman i hope not right i mean i if he is that's fine i have the wigs in the in the garments yeah that's right but he's

not going nowhere so how does that how does that happen how does that work i don't know i think like did you look at him saw a vulnerability. Spooker. You spooked her? Yeah. What do you mean? I just, I didn't know.

I just, I just, I just said hello just to me just because I thought it was cute. Do your mom and dad like them? My mom's dead, but yeah, my dad likes them, yeah. Yeah, your dad is, your dad, you've always spoke about you. You have a great relationship with your dad. Yeah, he's bisexual. Is he? I don't know.

Oh, interesting. I remember you said you think he is. Yeah, I think he is. Interesting. Do our brothers and sisters, what do they do? What's their life like? My older sister lives, she moved down to South Carolina to, because it was to the New York, The Tri-State area was too blue for her, so she had to get out of here.

Right, go red. Yeah, so she went red. She went to South Carolina. She lives down there. But she loves you. Yeah. Yeah, so that's what I'm saying. So they all live down there.

And then my other sister lives in, you know, she just loves in the Jersey and with her dog. Are those colored contacts? They're not color contacts. They are clear contacts, but they have, like, the color on them so you can find them. Oh. Right. Yeah. But he's always had light eyes.

You've got nice eyes. Light eyes. No, he looks great. I'm telling you. I can't see close up, though. I have to wear readers. Okay. I want to know more about this, though, to be honest with you.

I really want to know. So you said hello to him? Like, what happened? How did it happen? I was at a bar. And he comes in, he was like a guy with his guy friends. And they were like, the game's on. And you were like, hi. No, he was there first.

And I walked in and I said, yo, you got a fat ass. That's how it started, for real. That's an introduction to him. That's a first, you mean it. Yeah, because I don't give a false. Yeah. I have nothing. The thing about getting older is like, you have no shame about anything.

There's nothing that can embarrass me. I love it. Nothing at all. Nothing. Yeah, you're comfortable in your own skin. Yeah, because who cares? So I said, you know, just to be funny. And like, you know, so what's the worst can happen?

He punches me? I'd probably like it. Seriously. So I just said, you got a fat-ups. And then, you know, he starts trickling around and he asked me for my Snapchat. Right. That was the first way. Now, do you think it's because the younger generations are a little bit more open, a little looser?

Or do you think he was just, he was always gay and he was just hiding? I think he just was just in love with me. And it was like, oh, my God. So you think it's above sexuality? What do you mean? You think like he just loves you? It doesn't even matter. No, I don't know. He's definitely homosexual.

But, but there are people that fall in love with just one person. Yeah. From the same sex. And then that, that relationship fades away. And then they go back to the opposite. That's like, that's like when married couples, one transitions and that he still stay together. Right. Right.

You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they just stay together for convenience. Yeah, all right. I'm slowly transitioning. I'm, I'm, that's where I'm growing my hair out like it.

Would you really seriously consider it? Never. Not at this age. Right. Not at this age. But if you had thought about, would you have done it early? Yeah. Yeah, you would have done it.

Yeah. I still want to do it, just for fun, just for attention. Just for attention, right? Yeah, because you do look more feminine than you used to. Oh, thank you. But you're cheeks. Right. Oh, the cheeks too, because I noticed the lift, but also the cheeks.

She's not. It's called SNAT. Are you guys watching drag race? No. Nick is probably. My wife fucking loves drag race. Does she? Yeah, she watches it big.

Yeah. She's into that. She's into JFK Jr. right now. And some other show that I don't give a. Jane, don't went home this week. I'm going to ask her. Yeah, my wife follows you, Joey loves you, so she was excited. Because I think, I think, you know what it is about you, about your content?

It's, yes, we all have to make content to feed the algorithm, but yours comes from an authentic place. Does she still do fitness? Yes, she does fitness. And we really have a great relationship now. We've kind of moved, you know, we're really nice. Stable, nice. Okay, good. You know, we got our three kids.

And I think also, too, I've just accepted it. I've accepted her into my life and I've accepted Jesus into my life. Okay, good. And she doesn't care that you're exploring other avenues of your sexuality. No, she doesn't care. No, she really doesn't care. She doesn't care. Like, you know what I mean?

You can have a grind? Oh, they're straight to. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. When you look at Chris, what do you see? Do you see a straight man? What do you see?

He's told me before I'm straight. Yeah. Well, he's definitely straight, but he wishes he could be gay. And he tries. He wants. But I'm not, though. But I'm not. No, he's not.

You want it bad. But Mateo, Mattio told me very similar. He goes, you're, you're, unfortunately. he was like, you're also living a nightmare too because he said, you're trapped. You are straight and you'll always be straight. So you feel burdened by it. Right, he said so, but you're never going to be gay, I can't just tell. He told me, he was like, I can't even articulate it, but I do

know. You don't feel great enough. You can't be your greatest self as a straight manate because your, you're, the greatness is lies as you get in a gay world. Like you start this, you're capped out, you can't do anything, you can't be better than you are now. Exactly, yeah. He told me to maybe try ayahuasca and then he would suck my dick and see how I felt. There we go. Yeah. And have a I can't fully be a straight guy and pull off that Maurisa.

There's got to be some gay in me. Is Marissa still around? Same way? I mean, she's still around. I mean, I haven't done her a long time, but she's around. Well, if you go on Camille for the right price, she's still around. If you were doing your Marisa character back then, you were, you're abusing substances. Do you think he would let, like a Dominican guy from up there, like, you know, fuck you,

or something like that. If you were really into the character? Yeah. And they had the meth or whatever the drugs are? Fuck yeah. Why not? Why not? Right.

Short, right? Yeah, I'm short. If I just stayed in character and got fucked? Well, that, I mean, who cares, right? Because it's just a moment of your life. Yeah. It's just a few weird. Really committing to the bit.

Yeah. Well, but that's what I like about Joey. That's the positivity is I think we get so rigid, especially in religion and all that. Joey lives, you seem to me to be a person who does what you want to do almost on a daily basis. I do.

And you have fun and you're kind of non-apologetic about it all. I love that. You do think it was a good, lead. lead your life with the good intentions and kindness in your heart. Didn't we say that last week? If you're choosing kindness. Just choose kindness. Yeah, just choose kindness and cock.

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I don't have time for it. No. You almost feel like he's... Have you been canceled? Have you guys been canceled yet? They've tried. Well, I mean, in a way, not. Not canceled.

I mean, you know, in a way, like, people try all the time. But we kind of feel like, especially because of this podcast, like the Patreon and all that, like, and we have our fans. Like, it's really... How much is Patreon costs? We're only... $5. $5 a month? Yeah.

And you show... You show... Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We show... Chris's feet on that. That's where we go. Yeah.

And who is a third... Who are these people here? Well, that's... That's you two. And then who's in the headlock. And the governor, when he got his head blown off. The governor was in the car with him? Yeah.

Yeah. That's moments for... JFK got shot, we were there, drinking smoothies. Yeah, so I think that, because I think that there's something about as you keyed in on, like, as we get older, where you just really have to get to, like, a level of acceptance, and you have to, and that's why I'm doing peptides now. I'm saying, you know what? Which one are you taking?

I'm taking Red of Routa Routreuthide. We're trying Rettitutide. We're trying BPC-157. But Ritchie, that's for the weight loss, the Rettitude. I'm microdosing it because it's four weight loss, and I have high cholesterol. So it supposedly helps the cholesterol. I did too, triglyceride. You had high cholesterol?

I try glycerides really high Now they're down, right? They're down, yeah. Now you're good. Well, I still want to lose more. But because of the g-lps, your cholesterol white. What's your waist size now? You're famous here you were 38-sized.

36 now. Comfy, one-fina 36. Okay, good. Yeah. I can't buy new clothes yet because I'm not ready for it, but. Well, how much have you lost? You must have lost 30 pounds. Yeah, like 30-something pounds.

Yeah, it's so obvious. Is it an appetite away, though? Is that what it is? That's what it's a prescent. Appet subressent. So I like, you know, you eat like a bird. Right. Right.

So that's how it works, really. But it pisses me off because I, I, I have, the disease in me is the, is the, what's not bulimia. What's it called? Anorexia. Not anorexia. It's overeating, binge eating. Nausea.

No, big eating is my disease, like, overeating. That's like my food is my drug. So like I can't, like, I want to like eat the whole pizza and it makes me mad that I can't eat it anymore. So I'm not fulfilled. Like even though I'm like, I'm full, but I'm pissed off that I can't harm myself. Right. Right.

Right. Right. But that, but that, as time goes on, you'll just accept that. Well, you can out-eat anything. Right. You can keep going if you want.

But you like the way you feel now better than how you felt being able to eat if you want a little peanut butter cookie? I can't rain out. I'm not supposed to eat I'm doing intermittent fasting.

I can't eat till three. Do you have the zero fasting app? Which app do you have? I have that. I just know the clock. Three o'clock, yeah. Okay. Another app on my phone.

So my wife is watching Outlander. Outlander's a great show. What's that about? She just finished. Go back in time. Love story? Oh, that's that's the JFK. Oh, is that show?

And then Scarpetta? I want to watch that. That's with, what's her face? Nicole Kidman and who's the other bitch on there? Can we pull that up? Scarpetta's a great restaurant in the city. I love that restaurant. It's my favorite spaghetti in the city.

My favorite spaghetti too. It's the best. Yes, and I live right there. Okay, and then they have the little lounge downstairs. You ever go to that little lounge? Yes, I ever went down there, but I go there a lot. Yeah. There it is.

It's, oh, Jamie Lee Curtis. She's trans, she's non-binary. Really? No, her affidite. No, her daughter, her daughter, her daughter, trans. No, but she was born hermaphrodite. She was born both genitals. I think that's a rumor. Oh, is it? I don't know. I think that's one of those

Richard Gere. Bobby Canneville, I eat his ass. Is that his son? That's his son, yeah. Get him too. Oh, you like him. Yeah, and he's married to Rose Byrne. Look at that expression he just gave. Bobby Cannevel's married. Who's Jake Canterville? Must be a son. It has to be a son. Google, Jake Canneville,

hole. Yes, Jake Canneval Hall. Yeah, that's his son. Oh. Yeah, put up Jake Canneval Hall, Joey. Put hole after the name and search. You see that? If you go up, go back. It was already on there. Yeah, yeah. If you just go back, yeah, if you just put that in, I'd like to see the results.

Jay kind of a hole. That's it. Let's see what comes up. Anything. Nothing. Nothing. Okay. Yeah.

I'm hungry for a hole. Cute. Wait, cute. Wait, shows off his cute butt. Let's see this in 2019. Let's see his butt. You like that. Yeah, let's see.

Oh, wow. What the tats? Definitely has a lit-tina. mother. A hundred, has to, right? Yeah.

Okay. Are your kids considered biracial? They are. Half Puerto Rican, half white. Is that really biracial, though? It is. It is.

I, I, I googled it. What kind of perks can you get? Yeah. For that, they are, well, they'll get into a good college. Yeah.

Because obviously, you know, you go Latino for that. They, they know multiple languages. That can win an argument. They win an argument. Big time. They win an argument.

They are good at baseball. naturally. And they are going to be really, really, really beautiful. That's the thing is, you know, especially my daughters, they, people like, you know how like people say. Imagine they turn out like J-Lo's kids. Everyone thinks you guys are so good-looking and they try, do you know what J-Las kids look like?

No, pull them up. I don't know. One's trans. Really? Well, that would actually be as a father. That would be a relief, right? Yeah. If our kids were.

Do you know which one you prefer to transition if you had to pick one? If I had to pick one. Those are her kids. Mangially looking kids. She went from Girl the Boy. saying like you know how hot she is you would think she'd have the hottest kids yeah you know they're not they're every kid's beautiful in some people's eyes but I'm just saying I mean that one looks like Mark Anthony that's Mark Anthony's kid right with the glasses you know

you would think that what is going on with the there's so many trans kids in Hollywood is that like a lot of people have trans kids there's not room for everyone there's just not what do you think do you have any insight into that why it happens a lot in Hollywood um because they because celebrities aren't used to being told no and celebrities are not used to be told no. That's probably what is. You are a fucking raging bull dyke and it's okay. But we're not going to say that you're not going to admit that anything is wrong. You're going to be like, oh no, that you're just transgender. No, you're just a dyke. Look at all the, these are trans kids. That's an interesting take. It's because they never get told no. It's interesting. And they don't want to take accountability. It's okay to be a flaming faggot. Right. You know, it's okay. You don't have to transition. Well, I told the story before. What is that? Annette and Warren Benning's kid. Was a girl.

There was a girl now boy. Okay. Then we got Charlie Sderone. Right. And she's adopted kids and made of trans, which is interesting. Yes. Sheriff. Oh, that's the famous one.

That looks like a before and after of Joey Kamasta. That is. That is. He was like the trailblazer. Yeah. Doesn't that right? It looks like Joey before and after? Yeah.

I got to get that hat. Oh, who's that? Who the hell is that? Colleen Bartree and Deborah. I don't know. I don't know. All right. I don't know.

Cynthia Nixon, yeah. Well, that's bound to happen. Sure. Sure. That's about to happen. The way we know, that's a boy in the middle. Yeah. What do you mean that's a boy?

That's a boy. No, no, no, that's a boy. You mean it, it's a girl now. Zion. Sorry about that. Zion. Yeah. Right.

Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. Maurice. Morisa.

Right. Is this one? This is trans. Heather Dubbrough. She's my friend. I know she says on my podcast all the time. Heather? She all her kids are either gay or trans or something else.

So just, okay. Jamie Lee Kurt, yeah. Oh, they said we don't know. I can't tell which one of my kids is trans, she said. Yeah, she did see. Yeah. Yeah. So they're.

All the money in the world and your kid is still clockable. Right. What does that mean? Clockable. They can tell like when you can clock. Oh, clock it. I'm clock it. Clock it.

Clock it. Right. So clock it means you can tell that they're trans. You can just, yeah. Spooked or spooked. What does that mean? Spooked means like, I found out, like, ooh. Right.

Spooked is more like, more so like they didn't know you were trans and they find out like. Right. Like you hook up with someone and then they find, they figure it out. Clock is more like you sit across the room. You can always tell. Yeah. So Spooked has a different meaning to father from New Jersey. Exactly.

So the vocabulary changes as the decades go on. So originally the word derives from. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Tommy Watts's kid, you could not clock. You can't be beautiful. Can't clock that. They put the effort and time into their transition. This is exactly. They added to say something braids to offset the eye. I swear to got my little daughter, my baby daughter looks like that.

So she might already, she might have been a boy. I don't know. You cannot, that's not clockable. That's not clockable, right, Joey? No, that's not clockable. Not just a choker on to cover the Adams apple, but. Right. It's just key details that we have to pay attention to.

You can say vigilant out there, ladies. Yeah, it really do. Yes. Stay Vidge. Now they try to trick the eye. But Joey can clock. Okay. Keep going, Jess.

Yeah, let's see. Let's see. Oh, wow. Yeah. We don't know what's going on there. Yeah. That's an easy one. She's not transition.

No, no, no, no, no. She's an old school lesbian. Old school lesbian, yeah. Yeah. Oh. Shade's got. Wait, what the hell? Trans son.

That's not clockable, Joey. That's not clocked. That's not. Right? You think that's a, that looks like it's just a gay man to you. But in person, you would probably see that he's five, three. Yeah. With that's clockable.

With the hips. A little bit of the hips. So you'd see it. Sigourney Weaver's got one. Kind of clockable. Wait, so that's a girl now or that's a boy? You never can tell. Joey's father would call it an it.

I think that this is, it's definitely a woman that's trying to be, but she's not committing to the role just yet. Right. This is for her attention, for sure. That one, you can tell me. You can tell you clock that too. And then the other one, what's their name? Camala Harris.

his stepdaughter is doing for attention as well. You can tell, right? Well, she's not transits. She's just gangly looking. So I've said this before, but, you know, Jasmine has a transgender uncle, Titi Jerry. Oh, yes, oh, yes, yes, yes. So Titi said, you know, he was incarcerated in the 90s, all of the 90s. And he said when he went into whatever prison, I think Clinton correctional facility,

they had two people in the transgender wing. He goes, and then by the time he got out of that prison in 2021, he stayed, I think he'd 30 years or 28 years, something like that, he said there was a, full transgender wing. He said, so it started with two. He goes, I never moved. I stayed in that. I stayed in that. He goes, and he goes, and then all of a sudden there's 600 transgender people. He said, so something on the outside changed. He was like, I don't know what it is, but he, the reason why I thought of is because he said he thinks it's mostly for attention. Attention, but also, well, there's two things happening. Maybe they're doing it. They're transitioning just to they get better service in when they're incarcerated. Well, so I thought that. Like the people, like the Jews that, they say, I need a kosher meal.

Right. Right. Right. That could be that. But, but. But he, but I, see, I brought that up too. And he said, but that was around in the 90s, you would get the special treatment. He goes, something, they were coming in with their dicks cut off. No, I would start rioting. Right. My idea. I'm going to get the fuck out of here.

Yeah, yeah. O.G., holding his down. Holding his shit down. This thing in Trudy's, yeah, it's interesting. It's just an interesting, you know, observation on all. Elliot. Oh, Elliot, that's the other, Elliot Page. Sure.

Yeah. Eli, I have her, his book. Do you, what do you think about AI? What's your take on AI? and all that's happening with robots and stuff. I don't like it when it comes to something that I get excited about thinking it's real. Not like, for instance, like, I love the talking animals. Like, I get so upset that the animals really don't talk like that.

Like I want my dog to like, you know what I'm a mom? Really? Like a dog. What kind of dog? A chihuahua. Whoa. He's my whole life. It's a Mexican.

You're taking in migrants. Thank you. I did it for a tax break. Yes. What's its name? Piccolo. Oh. Piccolo.

Look at Piccolo. Cute. Wow. He's a snappy one? He's the best. See a puppy? He'll be two in August. No, you're in the back of a yellow cab?

Is that, that's not what she does. You don't take yellow cabs, do you? Well, I do it to be relatable. Got it. Do you know, here's me on the subway, but I just want to show off my contour. And I wanted to have my $8,000 bag in it. It's like a juxtaposition of what's real and what's... Yeah, text me that pick after the, but we'll throw that up.

So, yeah. It look good. And speaking of AI, my jaw lines AI'd there because I looked like a fucking turkey neck. Really? I need a facelift, but I'm not doing it until because they have to cut your ears off and I don't feel like dealing with that just now. Do you? Yeah, they cut you, they cut you here and they pull

your face up, pull it back and they cut everything off. Do they temporarily cut your ears off? Not off, but they like pull them up. Yeah. Interesting. You got to move them. Yeah, to do that and it's like all the, it's a lot. Are you exercising? You're doing resistance training? I have the gym. See? There you go. I go there, but I don't know what to do when I go to the show. I just copy what everyone else does.

You know who he's going to do? You know who he's going to new a new fitness place I'm going to go to this month is um is um what's his face Hank Hank Sinatra had a new thing called the the pack so I'm going to go there he's going to get on he's going to yeah so he's got a new thing it's by the the owners of the rumble yes so I'm going to go there and do some classes with him yeah yes I'm going to start doing that I had the gym across the street I go to but it's like pain the ass and I never it's to do so I'm going to start doing classes over there at the pack okay yeah because he's been trying to do it's been trying to do it's been trying to trying to get me to go to the packs.

Maybe you can go. I mean, he's, you want to talk about jacked and ripped and shredded. Look at that. He's on GLP once. Oh, is he? And look at how muscular he is. Yeah.

Jujia's drinks still? Very little now. I don't get much out of it anymore. Very little. I kind of something happened in my brain where I'm like, oh, alcohol is a poison. You know what? It feels better than drinking the neck, waking up the next day and getting something done.

Yeah. Do you know what are the drugs to take now, though? I mean, I can't do. I'm not really drugging anymore because the thing is if I take the drugs I'd want to do, I would, I just know I'd pick out on it. So like, you know, the weed, gummies and all that stuff. I like the feeling of being, like, relaxing in the couch and stuff, but it's, I just know I'm gonna pig out. So you're pretty much sober now. I mean, I'll still do cocaine here and there. Yeah. Sure. Once in a while. Yeah. How's your, how's your blood work? Well, cholesterol's good,

liver, enzymes good, everything's good, good. Yeah, the liver's fine. It's just my triglycerides. That's always very high. Yeah, very high. And the tea is very low. And the tea's low. Are you going to get, Are you going to get higher tea? I used to take that all the time. I never really did anything for me. Because I, it's like, I need to like what the trans people are taking. And they give me that, like lethal doses. And I want my voice to go deeper.

My voice wouldn't even go deeper. Nothing happens. Interesting. Doesn't work. You can't, you can't, you can't subdue the girl in me. Right. Yeah. It's too strong.

Interesting. Wow. Yeah, yeah. I know. I know we turn to all these things, all the experimental thing, these peptides and all these things. But really the truth is just diet exercise and walking. Just do 12,000 steps a day and you'll be good, honey.

How many calories are you eating? I mean now? 17. $2,500. Oh. I've been trying to, because I want to put on more muscle. Oh, I'm on a deficit. I can't, I could never.

You know, but, okay, so what do you want to do? 15 hunge? Well, I do between, I, between 1,000 and 17. Right. But I, I, you know, I see, I'm very packaged. I see like a little bird seed here and there. Ooh, what do we got? Because Mizzen and Maine makes cute, cute, cute, cute, cute, cute, cute men'sware.

If you know me, you like, you know, I like one thing and one thing only. and that's menswear. Yeah, because the shirts they sent us are nice, and they got me perusing the website. Because they are freaking cute, because when you put their clothes on, you'll feel the difference instantly. You can wear their clothes literally anywhere

from the office to the golf course, from yard work to backyard barbecues, babe, and I know that Miz and Maine is good because our boy, Joey Kamasta wears it. Yeah, the Mizza and May. Think of a picture your go-to white dress shirt, the one you wish you could wear all week because it looks so sharp

and actually feels good. Well, guess what? that's Mizan plus Maine. Yeah. Their shirts stay crisp. Yeah. They stay comfortable. Yeah.

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of the chicken parm. Of the chicken parm when... Fuck me. Fuck me. That we literally... Janice and I, I think, have sent it back and forth to each other throughout, you know, wherever since you posted it. Maybe a thousand times.

Go to put it. And it's our favorite video. And yeah, uh... That is a strong filter to put on that one. Go to the... Go to the reels. With the winter hat, that's a strong filter. Just go to the reels.

Yeah. Because then it's up in the reels. It's pinned to the... Yeah. So that one, yeah. So, yeah. Just hit the volume. I didn't make that.

I would have. Yeah. Hit that volume. Oh my God. Fuck me. Oh, that's good. One more time, just for the beginning.

Yeah. Oh, I'm going to close it up. Oh, what a cow. Oh, no. We don't need a second one. Yeah,

they are ruining it. They ruined it. Now you put those pequito pepper. These sloppy fucking peppers. Get out of here. Now this whole thing, it's dripping wet. It's sitting in a puddle.

You fucking ruined it. You ruined it. Why can't you just leave it along? This is too much. Now it's all soaking wet. You know? Nobody wants this. They stay making shitty sandwiches, though, that place.

What's going on up in here? Oh my God. Fuck me. That looks me. I would wipe with that. That warm cheese on your whole. What place is that? It's called sandwichitos.

Where is it? I think it's in New Jersey. Why would they do that to the sandwich? They keep doing messy things like that. I think they do it with click bait. So this is only 30 weeks ago and you must be 30 pounds heavier there. Yeah. Yeah.

And look at that. You got to say vigilant. You got to say vigilant. You got to say Vigilin. Now, these are really yours or this is an ad. No, those are mine. Oh, yeah, but we can't. Yeah, but we can't.

Yeah, you got to turn those over. Actually, we're sponsored by the competitor. Yeah. Lucy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we love Lucy. Those are Lucy's.

Those are Lucy's. Yeah. And wait, this one, too, I like with the martini one. I remember all the way to the left. Yeah. Oh, we have the same glasses on it. Is that why you got those glasses? These are, um, you know,

Parker. These are Warby Parker. Remember, Remember Chrissy had those glasses? Oh yeah, and I went to that little face. Is that too much to ask on a Thursday afternoon? Yeah. I want an ice cold martin.

Why didn't I even tell me a fat I was? In a crystal glass, it's so heavy that it acts of my arthritis. I want to physically not be able to pick up the glass. It's so heavy and so fucking freezing cold. Is that too much to ask on a Thursday afternoon? I can't wait you at a farmer's market. Two years ago. Oh, my God.

Maga deep. Yeah. Aga deep. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm sure you get a lot of Trumpies that will get in those DMs for you. Oh, yeah, they want it. They want it. Yeah, because they're not a lot to really have it.

I'm sorry about your friend Charlie, by the way. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know. You were closed? Yeah. You were closed. Yes. Did you know him?

Did you see her on tour? Did you see his wife on tour? No. She's really. The lights and the spectacular. No. What do they do? I haven't seen it.

Oh, it's fireworks. It's like, it's like fireworks. And she comes in on a jetpack and she goes, it's very. it's very intense and what is she doing to like say that it's like honoring her husband like what's the tour I don't get it I don't either so you don't think she's hurting too bad

I don't yeah this one is funny too the POV Snokey falls at the club go to that one that's coming out this season oh really it's the final season look at this watch look watch look because that's real

yeah that's authentic look I thought she was dead Now, are they just going to keep Are they just going to keep doing this show Until their furniture and the living room Was covered in plastic? Yeah, well, the MTV version of it is going to be done

This is the last season of it there That's it. And then I think they're going to maybe go to another network But we're doing some big, you know, end of the series events I want to come I thought in December a few months ago We did a roast of the Jersey Shore

I thought you were going to be there I was going to be there It was too far away though I didn't feel like traveling that far. And I felt bad because, because, you know, they told me, like, you have to roast whatever. And, like, you know, I love Snooky so much, but they're like, they have to have jokes to everybody.

It was like, I don't want to make fun. I was like, let me just make fun of Vinny. Let me make fun of the situation. I don't want to make fun of any of the girls. Yeah, yeah. And they were like, no, you need to do jokes on the girls. And I was like, and I could tell Snooky was like, she just like, I don't want to fucking even be doing this.

Oh, God. Yeah. But I felt bad. So if you see her, tell her, you know, I just want to make fun of Vinny and the situation. But the producers were like, you have to make fun of the girl. Yeah. Last time I was here was with Vinny's podcast. He's still got going on?

Vinny? Yeah, I think he's... When did I talk to Vinny? I spoke to Vinny about a month ago. Yeah, I think he's still doing his pod and he's always doing stands up. He's doing a comedy club. I saw, yeah. I just did Legion of Skanks with him a couple weeks ago.

So you guys, you know how in comedy, I mean, not comedy. In drag, there was someone, every new drag queen has a drag mother. Sure. They look up to, that kind of mentors them and teaches them the way. Do they have that in comedy? Yes. For stand-up, I think if I wanted to do stand-up, I would need a comedy mother. Comedy mother.

And I'm like the daughter. Right. So I need a drag mom. Chris could be your job mom. A comedy drag mom. Yeah, mine was Bill Cosby. Oh. Yes.

No. I remember everything after you passed out like that? No, I would be your comedy mother. I would do that if you'd like to. Yeah. I would like that where I would come to you with my notepad and like what I think. And then you would like, we would come together and make a set that you cut things and say, you know, you should add this. And like.

Yeah. And I'd practice. In our underwear. In our underwear. Yeah, in our underwear. Just so we're stripped down. Just like, nothing's. distracting us. It's just... I never like to tell people, though, if younger comedians ask for...

I never like to tell them what I think is funny or not funny, because it's... Comedy has to be all about what you think. Right, yeah. If I don't think, like, funny, I think it's more about, like, structure. Like, start with, start with this and then like go into this. Like, you know, it's like... Yes, it's, yeah. Like, how to like... Yeah, like the, likeability, the charisma, which you have naturally, it's like, you know, I think like that's more important than even being funny. Like, right away, convey likeability and charisma. Yeah, and then once... Once you get that down, you're Netflix special. I'll just open I'll just open. Done. I would love it. I mean,

I would love it. Why the hell not? Look, what are you doing for the rest of the day? The rest of the, I'm going to go to the farmer's market because I want to make a snap pea cocktail. Ooh. What? But then you're not drinking. I'm not going to add, I'm going to make it just like a juice and then you can add alcohol if you want to to it. But for Easter, I always do it. I always do like, oh, what's going to

Easter? Yours is not yours is different. I'm going to my aunt, Janet. Yeah, we go to hers. What about you? I'm going to be home. My father's going to the Red States to visit my sister. You don't want to go? No, I can't go down in there. Right. I'm saving it for Paris.

Sure. Yeah, I want to get bit by a cat. Yeah? What is it about it? I just like getting hit by, like, not hurt, but like I like when a cat or a dog gets little frisky and like bites. It means that they care about me. Yeah, yeah, you want to get hurt, but like, you know, my dog bites me.

I like it. We were talking about this earlier, Janice and I, how it's like, you know, we just want to be, feel appreciated. What the hell is that? Peaky, he bit me. Why did it bite you? And you liked it. Because he only bites the, he only does it jokingly because he thinks I'm his mom.

and tossles around, but he's not like, you know, hurting, but he wouldn't bite, like, if he doesn't, like, know you, he's not going to bite you. Right. Are you on blood thinners? I feel like those are just pretty deep bruising. Or it was a bad bite. Yeah.

Oh, you know what? That's not from him. That's from your boyfriend. No, that's from, no, that's from when I got, I was doing PRP, so they take your blood and they... What's PRP prep? No, it's when they take your blood and they spin, it's like a vampire facial, but they do it from my scalp.

They inject it into your scalp. What? Oh, really? Yeah, so it makes your hair grow, like, even... Does it actually for real work? I mean, after the transplant, it helps every, like the plant, the seeds kind of plant and whatever. It's so painful, though. Really?

Ugh. Yeah. Mama. Girl. Miss thing. Yeah. It's what? Because what?

Because the needle in your head? Your scalp, yeah. Oh. It's excruciating. So they give you laughing gas. They have to. Yeah. I mean, it doesn't take away the pain.

It just makes you feel like, you know, you said poppers. Yeah, but I mean, does it more painful than a penis. Oh. It's the most painful thing. The penis or the scalp? No, I haven't done the penis shit. Have you had needles in your penis? Oh, no, no, I meant like a penis in the butt.

Oh, yeah, that's painful, too. It is, right? It's pleasurable, though, at times. Is it pleasurable or painful? I mean, I think if you're a power bottom, it's pleasurable, but if you're like, if you only do it seldomly once in a while, then it's like, you know. Yeah, because that's important to retrain the relationship,

you have to be. In other words, too. In other words, too. Because even though it's the same sex, even though it's the same sex, it's very similar to men and women. It's like, you still have to have one of them do it, one guy doing one job, another guy doing another job. Guys doing the same job won't work well in a relationship, right?

like two power bottoms don't work. No, no, no, no. That's what I'm saying. So even within same sex, there still is kind of, you know. A boy and a girl. A boy and a girl. Kind of, yeah. Always.

That's universal rule. Or there's a switcher, somebody who does a switch hitter. A switch hitter, right? Right. They call that versatile, right? Verse. Verse. Yeah.

A verse queen. I'm going to go, honestly, after this, I'm going to go to rhythm zero and I'm- Oh, go there. Get the blueberry matcha and then a blackberry match. It was so good. It's probably so many calories. Share it with her. Yeah, okay.

And the coconut. one looked good. What about that one? That was good. I didn't know that had to stir it up. I didn't know what the cloud was on top of it, but when you stir, it was clear on the bottom, I think that was coconut water, and I think the top, I don't know what it was. It was like a cloud of, a storm cloud or something, but then really, you got to whisk it all up in there. Do you have a new one coming out, a new

like, I'm going to go to, I'm going to go to a new one, but I have to, um, I had to get over there. You have to find it, yeah, because the rhythm zero, I'm, that's so good. And arcane is, it's how I found out about it, and I won't go. I will not wait in that life. I'm a new coffee queen. And I have the machine at home. I have a really nice, like the top of the line, Breville one.

But I know that's like, you know, that's like shunned upon in the coffee community. Like everyone wants the Lamarzaco or Lamarzocco, which is like the $1,000 one. And the coffees I bought there, they all take a battery acid. I bought the coffee beans from the, what's it called, Rhythmation, but those tasted like battery acid, too. You've got to fine tune it with your machines to get the right way. It's like a pain that. So then I said, fuck this. I went to a fairway and I got Stumptown coffee.

always says me right. So there are any Italian beans, any the Illies or the Lavalazas, all them, those are all good. When you get those single origin fancy beans that you get from these little shitty shops, they suck. Yeah. People, a lot of people don't know

that there's good coffee and bad coffee. They just not educated. They just drink coffee. My father just does Dunkin' Donuts, curate cups. Like, he doesn't know. Oh, it's horrible. No, I do espresso, so I let, you know, it's a whole world. I'm trying to get to this place where I can get one of these expensive machines, but I have to find a loophole. I'm not paying full price.

Lupal. We talk a lot about loophole. To us, loophole's mean like ways to cheat on your wife where it doesn't count. Yeah, well, this is how to get the free machine without, you know, having to pay for. Yeah, like we say, you know, get a massage with a hand job. That's a loophole. Has that ever happened? No, I've never done it yet, but we want to, a happy ending one. We know a couple of places. Yeah. So there's an app for it. My, my boyfriend's friends, all the oral street guys, they have this app and it's, it tells you where the closest, it's like a grinder for

for happy ending massage paulers. Interesting. It tells you where you are. It shows like, you know, it's a map and it shows you where they all are. But the problem is I don't want to go in there and then you get arrested. And then... Why would you get arrested though? You're a paying customer.

Right. You're not the hooker. But I understand. But wouldn't they... And you have citizenship. Right. And I do have citizenship. Yeah, but in Mom Donnie's New York, you never know.

You just get arrested. No, no, no. He's cool with it. Oh, Mom Donnie's okay with prostitution. As long as you're not white. Right. Yeah. That's what it is.

Mom Dany's coming out for the whites. To the wider neighborhood. Did you get community embrace mom, Donnie? Probably. I don't. You know, yeah, yeah, yeah. I voted for Cuomo. Cuomo, right, yeah. He was there for me during my darkest times.

He really was. Yeah, I mean, dude, it's true. All right, baby. So we'll let you go. Thank you so much for coming on. Can everyone follow me, please? I'm losing followers by the minute. Yes, yes.

Our fans will follow you. Follow Fridays. Bring those back. And yeah, just make sure to do that and keep up with all my, my antics. Yeah. I'm so happy that you're back in my algorithm. them. It was a really beautiful damage. You never left mine.

Oh, really? Yeah, he's always been at mine. You guys, I scratch your back today. You guys have to come over and do my new show. Of course. Where do you do it? Do you do it from the house? I don't do it from my house. It hasn't started yet, though. I want to come to your apartment anyway. Oh, yeah, perfect. I'll cook. Do you have any food allergies? No. Look at all this gorgeous food up there too. No, Joey's food, the way the food that he makes. The history of hyenas are chopped billing.

Oh, yeah, right there. Hi, Mina. I love it. Yeah. Yeah, he's a great. follow. It's so fun to follow. And she's with UTA, United Talent. Clock it. Clock it. Love you, Joey. Go follow at Joey Kamasta. All right. As always, patreon.com slash history hyenas. We love reading out the names of the newest members. Last week, we had a little bit of a weaker list. I do not suspect this list to be weak, but you never know. Let's see. You got to stick around to the end to possibly hear your name or hear a name that's

going to blow your mind. Also, before I forget, we did a thing last week where we allowed the fans to pick who the name, who the winner was because we were in a dead heat and they said that the winner was the MLK, without a doubt. Was the MLK name. So what was that name officially? MLK didn't die so you can

FaceTime in the elevator. That's what it is. So that, congratulations. Congratulations. Sabrina the Hyena, that is the winner so we could put that name up at History Aheena's Back.com. She name up in lights. But of course, here's the new Patreon members at patreon.com slash history hyenas. Get involved. That is where we have the most fun and we really go wild.

So leading off the list, Frisbee and Jones and the Temple of Fume. Whoa, wait a second. Again? Frisbee Anna Jones and the Temple of Fume. Decent, Drexler. Drexler. Yeah. Then we got Gaitona 500, aka Fume Paul's Drag Race.

On the list. There we go. We're coming out of the gate strong. Then we got Frisbeeed up, Minnesota Muzzy, fleeing the Somali Roy's. Call it escaping Snow Gadis. shoot. Wow. Goody.

It's wordy, but it definitely gets a Drexler. Very good. Drexler. Call me Nick's TV when they show Women's Wrestling switched off. Put them on the list. Put them on the list. Yeah, yeah, it's fun, creative.

Then we got... Wow, that's four in a row. Yeah. Then we got Mexie Wexie with a gay brother and a dad who moves the vegetables. Okay. Yep.

You're saying your father drinks because you're getting. Four Coast Apparel Company Okay screwed it in Matt Jack Wee Finley

WWE men and women's tag team champ The Hardley Boys Nick loved it Nick liked that one I didn't get it What is it They're trans

So they're hardly boys Oh WWE WWE men and women's tag team champ The Hardly Boys Really good Right you think that's We're gonna put it on the list

Okay the Harley Boys And you never get Nick to love Nick, that was the first, I've seen a full laugh. That was an audible. Nick's not as switched off in sociopathic as we thought. No. I'm just depressed.

Yeah. Just depressed, yeah. Okay. Well, that's why we listen to this podcast. We help people get under depressed. Yeah. Last name's Maxwell. It's just what we do, cuz.

Okay. Uh-huh. William Devarni. Hyena's, hiina's dream. Hold on. Hyena's dreams of a merle. Of a. victim of a bad read, but also some of these things, some of these names, guys, it'd be better

if you just space them out, because it's hard to read the one word. I don't know if they can. Oh. The hunt dog. Then we got branch manager at Banco Popular, ate some tanko chakular, then took an Adolf Schittler on my chest. Wei Songxien. Frisbee missiles flying like crazy in Middle Earth. Okay.

Caleb Shamrock. Drexler for that one. Whirdle Turtle, Jacob Smith, Luis Alvarado, Batman, oh wow, Batman's on the show.

Katie Holmes, another celebrity. Yeah. Then we got, I'm sorry, Dan, but Donna has fumes big. Okay?

Frank Senovich, Mitch Ledford, Franklin, aka Charlie Brown-Leroy, fell off the beam ass first into a pile of hot dogs. Put them on the list.

Yeah. Dastoni, Sam Chinkol Fran Moreno, Jared Michael, Lee M, Kevin DeLucah, Michael Baglieree, rectal detective. Rectal Detective Chicken Finger. Yeah, Sam Smith. Oh, the singer.

Daniel Serrano, strictly for my EBC cards. Gotcha. Okay. Got me? Walked into one. Sorry about that. P. Diddy's Costco account. Put him on the list.

Get the catapulted out contender. That's wholesale baby. That is wholesale. Baby oil Melissa Curry D.F. Graped and stole so much should have been named

Dingus Khan. Wei Songxian. One more time? Graped and stole so much should have been named Dingus Khan. It's a Drexler. Strong. Pat Schramm.

Iranian heat-seeking Iranian heat-seeking moisture missile. Okay? Jake Kroop. Jake Litt. Tingle for Tots. Chicken figure.

I mean, that's pedophiles. Dingle for Todd. It's a chicken figure. It's a very... Asia. Despite all my rage, I'm still known as Ellen Page. Drexler. Ma kicked me out because I used her card for Blue Chew and Patreon.

Drexler. Wow. Strong list. Ruben de la Cruz. Miss Frizzle fed me LSD. Saw Chrissy D at F-45. Instructor is a piece. I want to suck her feet.

Okay. Well, nice. Nice to see you. Is there another guy there or is a girl? Was the instructor a girl? The instructors are only women. Was there another guy there? Yeah, there's men that take it.

Oh, so the guy saw you, yeah. Youth cycling club, call me a pedoph- Youth cycling club, call me a pedophile. Pedal file. Pedal file. Good pun. Good pun.

Drexler. Dylan Joe, William Acevedo, Leroy's auto body and gym, we buff out the dings. Drexler. What it is? This is a really strong list. John Garriott,

kicked out of Panaticos for bringing my own pudding. Panatiko's famous Daily Ridge. Tim Clemens, Christian Aralano, Mikey No Working. Mikey No Working is a chicken finger. His name is Mikey No Working. Mickey No Working. Chicken finger.

Yeah. Ryan, Shaq's Dick moved in next door. Zach Speakman. Do they know there's no banks there? Okay. Okay. Giambalo blistering my meat to vanity his feet, beveliqua. Okay.

Blistering my meat to venity. Yeah, we don't disparage the family. Squeak slip and slide. Byron Jones. Vote sheriff gerrymander. Okay. Right. Jerrymandering.

Got it. Yeah. Chrissy said to name our Chinese son, Moulon. We named him Wuhan. Correct. This is one of the strongest list. Yeah. See this would come back.

Yeah. Father Bill's protege. Gage Wagner. I wonder why they took to Father Bill so much. It's so interesting. Yeah. They take so much joy at you being molested. But yeah, by Father Bill.

I think that's what it is. It just speaks because our fans have their roofs blown off. Yeah, they're just fully blown off roofs. And they're probably identified with it because half our Patreon probably has been molested. Yeah, yeah. I mean, the Father Bill just really... It really took off big. It really took off with the Patriot.

It's been going on since 2017, for almost a decade of Father Bill. Yeah. We could have a Father Bill list. Yeah. Yeah, we should have a fucking compile of Father Bill. We should do like a best of Father Bill. Yeah. Oysters and Leroy's, not all are bad, but too many are.

That I walked into one. It's not good. It's put that on the Walk Into One list, though, because it's really funny. That's bad. That's funny. Preston, Makey Velasquez, Matthew Acker, Tristan Wanderson, you heard. Okay. Maddie O.

New World Orphan. Two Bears in Chrissy's Cave? Drexler Amy Schumer's tongue punching Tim Dillon's fart box Okay Courtney Schmidt Known to King

Austin Rec Bilbo Swagins Shot my Jew glue Inside a Cuban And made a Jubin Got it, good job 60 Jeff Steel Pipe Gulluli

Sawsmokey War for that guy Yeah Landon Bullock Lightning Leroy A.k. Lightning Leroy It's funny.

Yeah. Like Lightning McQueen. Chicken finger. White guy from Alabama who only dates Leroy's because they let me say the N-word during sex. Latter 14. Drexler. Okay. Nicholas Ferrari.

Wow, what a heavy Drexler list. Hector, I haven't been feeling the best the last few weeks. You may want to see a doctor. Okay. Victor, check it out. Armani Arroyo, Patty. Falafel Frisbees, aka World War Fumes. Uh-huh.

Okay. NorCal, Linguam. monkey, retarded Oswald, Derek Williams, Michael Ianucci, wet wipes wherever I go. Or Drexler. Okay. High risk short shorts.

Christine Nome's dog. What am I missing there? She killed a dog. Oh, that's right. Why'd you kill her dog? It was in the book or something, yeah. Anthony DeAngelo, Marty Ferris, the next Ayatollah here for a good time, not a long time. Right, that's a contender.

Yeah, that's a contender. Yeah. The Ayatollahs are definitely here for a good time, not a long time. Big Feets Little Peace. Robert Barrow, shooting glue while I poo. That's interesting. Jerking off my tics and shit. That's interesting.

That's a chicken figure. Matt A, herb, frozen glizzies in my ass, like a turd in Vietnam. David Harris. Bernie made off with my panties. Rebecca Mariucci, Zoe Compton, Leaky Potato Monkey Sign on Bonus

Forge just hit Sorry Tongue straight to the back Make me giggle with an erection Tomon Dane De Owens Dick Anderson Elmer Fudge Because I shoot glue

Where You poo Interesting Two glue poo ones Poppy put the cold cuts In my pants And walk away Interesting Put them on the list

Okay, yeah, it's funny. Yeah, he stole cold cuts, and he wanted the guy to put them in his pants. It's a creative one. Yeah. Somali Frisbee, aka Captain Hooknows. Lad of 14. Walked in a real funny one. Okay.

Phil, Michael McGrath. Okay. David Luna. Uncut and proud, make me come, call that goysauce. John Dickinson, Ben Fittance. young shh and then last but not least babe the shrink ray hit me in the penis okay that's a funny one there's a clear winner to me okay okay well we'll give them all their due but there's a clear winner okay here we go yeah the names who made it are gaytona 500 aka fume paul's drag race

we're gonna chicken finger and dregs through you you got a double chicken finger drexler call me nicks tv when they show women's wrestling switched off very funny we're gonna drexler it all right made nick laugh yeah uh no this one made nick laugh w w men and women's tag team champ the Hardly Boys. We're going to keep that around because it's very good. Okay. Fell off the beam ass first into a pile of hot dogs. Very funny. We're going to Drexler

it. Okay. Pete Diddy's Costco account? That for me is the clear winner. And then we got the next Ayatollah's here for a good time, not a long time? Well, actually, yeah, keep that around. It's a three off. Yeah, those are three great ones. Well, then we got Poppy put the cold cuts in my pants and walk away. That one gets

the Drexler, but it was the funniest Drexler. So the three are WWE men and women's tag team champ the Hardly Boys, Pete Diddy's Costco account, or the next Ayatollah here for a good time not along. Well, actually, this is harder than I thought it was going to be. I told you. I thought it was a clear winner, but it was harder than I thought I was going. And I just want to remind everybody, you're a winner if you're a Drexler.

Yes. There's just a lot of people who are subscribing. So I just want you to have your head held high. Right. Your head should be held high. You got a Drexler that's really good. But unfortunately, Michael Jordan is just a guy who played in your, era. Yeah. Just remember that these

three guys are just a little funnier. Yep. Yep. So what are you thinking? The Iatoll here is just a straight punch funny. The Costco account is a straight punch funny. I think we're going to Drexler the Hardley boys. Okay. It made Nick laugh.

But we're going to Drexer that. So we really are down to two. It's between P. Dady's Costco account and the next Ayatollah here for a good time, not a long time. I am leaning towards P. Daddy's Costco account only because the Ayatola ones and the Islam ones are funny, but they're not easier. They're a little bit more topical.

P. Diddy ones are like Asians are bad drivers jokes. They have to be really good to be good. And P. Diddy's Costco account, it seems pretty good. It's really good. Should we pick a winner or should we put this one to the fans again? We can put it to a vote here. Is there a clear winner? I like the Diddy Costco account one.

Yeah. Nick, what are you like for that one too? I like Diddy's Costco account. Nick like a clear winner. So clear winner, P Diddy's Costco account. You are the winner. You have the PPW. See your name up in lights at History Hyenas is Back.com.

Thank you for being a part of the Patreon. The episode continues right now.