History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - Cloning Humans?

Episode Date: January 9, 2025

The boys take a deep dive into the wild history of cloning. These days, you can clone a pet, and scientists have successfully cloned animals—but what about humans? According to the boys, there’s some compelling evidence that it might have happened! Plus, can you guess which country’s government is experimenting with gene editing to create super soldiers? Finally, Yannis and Chris uncover the fascinating story of the Raëlians, a group actively working to clone humans, believing it’s the key to immortality. Support our Sponsors Download the FREE Ibotta app to start earning cash back and use code HYENAS. Right now, OpenPhone is offering 20% off of your first 6 months when you go to https://OpenPhone.com/hyenas. https://bluechew.com Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get $5 off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo HYENAS at https://Mandopodcast.com/HYENAS! #mandopod #comedy #Podcast #History Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas/ Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit.ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0 Hyenas Merch!!! https://teespring.com/stores/historyhyenas Follow us Cuz! 🙆🏻‍♂️ Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ 🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ 🐕More Hyenas Website: www.historyhyenasisback.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/historyhyenas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HistoryHyenas Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/historyhyenaspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass.

I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. Hello everybody, welcome to another glorious episode of the history hyenas. Yes, we spell it with two H's. I am sitting here with my co-host who is also my co-worker. We're at work.

Yes, this is work. This is what men do now. Yeah. This is a man's job. Yeah, we picked up our lunch pails. We said to our-worker. We're at work. Yes, this is work. This is what men do now. Yeah. This is a man's job. Yeah, we picked up our lunch pills. We said to our wives, we're going to work. We're coming here to curse at the microphones. And our nervous system just goes,

when are you going to really work? Yeah, our nervous system doesn't know. They're like, why are we not running away from tribes and animals? What are we doing? Why are we men taking paternity leave? We don't need to be on paternity leave. That's what women do.

I didn't do anything to create the baby. But then a man will say, you know what, I need six weeks for me. And then the human brain says, okay, we're gonna cut the penis off and become a woman then, I guess. And then that's when you join the Penn State swim team. Way so she ain't.

That's exactly how it happens. That's exactly the anatomy of that situation described perfectly by a scientist who's a gender studies professor. I am a professor. Yeah, you're a professor of gender studies and that's exactly how it goes. And yeah, the nervous system is going, why are you even sitting down? Women are supposed to be sitting down.

I guess like nobody who's male would ever have an anxiety attack if he sat down and started knitting because then the nervous system knows that's a woman. It's what it is. She's supposed to be sitting. Yeah. Or if you're standing and then there's hot flames coming. She's cooking. It's what it is.

Yeah, it's what it is. It's what it is. Yeah. Because here's the truth. We're supposed to be running. Here's the truth. Yeah. I love my kids.

You love your kids. But nature doesn't really want us there. They want us just banging more women. Yeah, and this is the situation. Should we just edit that part out? No, because that's what nature wants. You're not saying that. I'm not, no, I'm a gender studies teacher at Yale.

You're talking from a position of authority for being a gender studies professor. Yes. And you are absolutely right. Anatomically, the evil patriarchal anatomical answer is correct what you just said. Yes. That a man has millions of seeds yes and

he wants to spread them especially you yeah especially you yeah listen you're a guy this is why this podcast is serendipity for you for me for the world right because you're a guy who knows and has always known from the first history tour you went on with your mom yeah okay very organized well German history tour that's it yeah your mom got Yeah. Okay, very organized, well-German history tour. That's it. Yeah. Where your mom got the times and you knew exactly what you were doing. I know what to do.

And we went to the Amish country because my father, my good-for-nothing father, was in gambling debt and people were calling the house looking for their money and they said they were going to break my mom's legs and hurt little baby Christopher. So my mother took me on an Amtrak trip to the Amish country. Yeah, that's going to develop a little little anxiety if you want to know where your anxiety comes from it's because you and your mom were on the run. It's what it is you were on the run. It's what it is. Gangsters who wanted to break little Christopher's legs and I gotta be honest with you the most comfy I felt all week is today

dressed up like a Nick City dancer and here's the situation. You got a zinnin. I got a zinnin right now. You got got a Zen in. And here's the situation. Way song she ain't. That's what people who do Zen do, right? Yeah. Yeah, they're Zinners. Yeah. They're Zinners.

We're Zinners. That's not what I said, but that's what you can clean it up a little bit. Say a Zinner. You said a Zinner, yeah. I said a Zinner. Like a sinner. You meant like a sinner, but a Zinner. Yeah, that's what I meant. That's's also why thank God they call them the Knicks

Yeah, that's a what a guy I'm going to see the Knicks You don't want to go say I'm going to see the knickers cuz you could easily say I'm going to see you could you could have cut Nickerbocker It's good that nobody did it goes to nobody did and I gotta be honest with you. People might get upset at this joke but make no mistake we are professional comedians. We are stepping right up to the line and not crossing it. Look at me. I'm on the balance.

We're circus performers. What do we say? We are on the ice baby. We're skating but we're doing a good job and make absolutely no mistake. I said nothing wrong. I just had a fun wordplay with Zin. Yeah and we're just in the wrong era because we're white guys if we were doing this in the 1860s they would be like these are the most tame guys around it'd be a man I know they'd be like well they're just saying

here's the truth the truth of the situation is this is I love when you tell me the truth of the situation the situation is this folks is I absolutely was born in the wrong era because I like to have fun I like to spread the seed fun fun fun fun fun fun The truth of the situation is this, folks, is I absolutely was born in the wrong era because I like to have fun, I like to spread the seed. Fun, fun, fun. Fun, fun, fun. I like to run around and you would say that, oh, well, I would thrive in the 1700s, 1800s because you could just, you know, you could go to different, you could go to different,

you know, I'd be on the frontier, you know, banging, you know, Native American women, animals, whatever it is, banging dudes. I mean, you know, honestly, just throwing, you know, whatever, throwing on a bow and arrow and just having sex with, animals, whatever it is, banging dudes. Honestly, just throwing on a bow and arrow and just having sex with a guy, whatever. But the truth is, the truth is, is that I wouldn't exist. I wouldn't be happy in that era, and here's the reason why,

is because the one thing that I need more than toots is sweets. And I can't live in a world without muffins. So for me, if you asked me to go back in time, the 1960s would be perfect. Sexually free, do whatever you want, bang girls, bang guys, whatever you wanna do, and also muffins were invented.

So then that's where I'd like to go. Perfect, that's a perfect scenario. Now I wanted to just take us back to Amish country for a second just to say, your mom was taking you there because she was looking for an Amish guy and you wanna know why? Because your dad was taking money and she just wanted to date a guy

who didn't have a concept of money. That's what it was. She wanted to go the opposite. She wanted to date a guy who engaged in the barter system. I was gonna say, that's what it is. My mom likes a barter. She likes a barter, she's like, get me as far away from money

or the concept of debt as possible. That's what it is. You're Christie's spin the wheel and in history you would have spun the wheel. Here's the situation. I'm also born in the wrong era because I sit around and I go, what do you think humor is? I philosophize all day and I think. And in ancient Greece and antiquity, that would have been sexy, but now it's just a

fucking long day for people who want to look at their phones and get to the next thing. They're going, what is this guy talking about? Because you are Yanni Long Days and make absolutely no mistake when you said, when you started this podcast before we started and you said, Chris, what do you think humor is? Your penis went a little further inside your body because it doesn't realize that you're a man. It thinks you're a woman because you have a woman's brain. Yeah. Yassssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

That's in the Eastern Hemisphere or whatever. That would have been you, but you would have had to take a different approach. Because you don't have the heart to kill people unless that person is a dog and it's in your house and it barks too much. It's what it is. Then that's going to go down. Then what I do is I like to leave a little Clorox in the ball.

That's what you like to do just to stop the barking because the barking was starting to give you instructions just like Son of Sam. Yeah. The dog started talking to you. Exactly. Said, Chrissy, go get that too. Chrissy, go get that too. Chrissy, go get that one.

That's what it is. And you said, I got to put this dog down. That's what it is. Because maybe your sweet's problem is because the dog was speaking to you. It could be that. Yeah. And you still remember.

And here's the truth bait of Ginsburg. If we were alive in other areas, let's say that we were in the late 1700s, where French, Pierre, with the pink panthers, we're pink, I'm pink, you're a panther. And that's what it is. We would absolutely, the king would have to behead us and kill us 100% because we would just be too wild,

we'd be thrown on women's corsets, running around, trying to do podcasts, you're smoking cigars, we're having anxiety. The French people can't have it. But here's what would absolutely happen, is we would be there by the guillotine and the whole crowd would be upset. The whole crowd be like, but we like these guys,

we want these guys, and even the executioner would say, we have to do this. Yeah. Wait, what's the French? You made him Chinese and spray. Hold on, hold on. Yeah. We have to do this.

We have to do this, sir. We have to do this. We have to do this. We have to do this. This has to hop on. But we love you. We love you. We're really big of hands. Yeah. But they would chop our heads up.

And absolutely, when our heads are just spinning up and going down in that basket, we would go, yas, as it hit. And we would be legends. That's true. But we'd be dead. That's half a truth, Bittgenberg, because that's more of a fantasy in your head because the reality would be that the executioner would try.

He'd have to chop and chop and chop to get that helmet head off. Mine would go off just from putting it on the bottom of the guillotine. My head would just go and it would just roll right off. They would have to have six dudes chopping to get that fucking helmet. As they were chopping I would say cuz how's my hair? Yeah, you're cuz your head looks like it has a head on cuz make no mistake. I have bangs Yeah, you have bags cuz coming in because I can't bang so I'm doing bang Yeah, cuz you your hair is looking just you're more white

I am yes to have like just the the widow look now. You're more white I've morphed it to a white guy and I look like a German guy that just took off his helmet. It's what it is. I'm sorry, it's just the messiness of the hair just looks like a helmet came off. And then from the bottom down you just look like the Nick's ball boy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I look special needs. Yeah. I've been watching and we're not going to talk about this today, but a future episode, I've been watching The Saints on Fox Nation. I watch a lot of Fox Nation. Yeah, I know.

I've been watching Fox Nation, I got the app on my phone. And I watched The Saints, directed by Martin Scorsese. We got to do, first of all, a couple episodes. I want to do an episode on Joan of Arc, because she was wild. And I want to do an episode on Maximilian Kolbe. Do you know him, the Polish priest that was killed in the Holocaust? But he's a saint, but he actually talked a lot.

He was very anti-Semitic, but then switched it around in the Holocaust and make, yeah, this guy, and they are fascinating episodes. If you get a chance to go watch The Saints on Fox Nation, do it, today we are recording on January 6th. Are you going to be wanting to watch Fox Nation. Do it. Today we are recording on January 6. Are you gonna be wanting to watch Fox Nation? Yeah and hopefully things are chill out there right now and I would love to get Martin Scorsese in here. Should we get a booster seat for Squeaks? Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Should we

start calling, should we call Deebo again? Should we start doing that every week and getting the Squeak of the Week? Maybe and maybe we'll have him on and just throw him into a fucking booster chair. Yeah, yeah. Just borrow one from a restaurant and say, listen, can we just bring this back a little while and just put the little booster chair right here and throw them in it. Well, thank God the football season's over

because I mean, I genuinely thought one of my friends was gonna drop dead this year because I mean, the Dolphins, they lost last night, so they're out of the playoffs and the Jets season has finally ended and I thought that Debo and Patty Fly Balls, I thought they were gonna drop dead in O'Neill's because I mean the way those kids would go out and drink and eat every night every Sunday

night that I think they've survived yet another season yeah or as the Irish like to call it therapy yeah that's what they do drinking every night watching the Jets that's what they call therapy that's a different day nice hands I do got nice hands and yes feet I really do you do have good you know you have good you have good appendages. Yeah, and you're- I bite my nails big. Your nails look like they got caught in a machine.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, they're just chewed off. It's what it is, guys. Yeah, you talk to a therapist and take meds and I just suck my fingers. So we're getting to the same we're getting to the same destination She's taking different route because you ever get nervous and throw a thumb in your mouth. Oh, yeah Yeah, and when I get really nervous, you know what I like to do

I love the but no well that that but if it's if it's level 10 anxiety Which sometimes that happens to me I get the foot in the mouth Yeah, and I like that's why people ask me why I stay in shape and it's so I could bite my toenail Yeah Here's the thing a lot of people don't know cuz you won't find it on the internet because the algorithm won't allow it But truly one of the best anxiety practices if you're struggling out there is one thumb in the mouth to suck it like a baby And then the other thumb in the butt. Yep Just feel contained. Yes. Yeah, what is field grounded? That's what it is. Yeah, it's a double, you know a double a suckin

Yes, a socket of double thumbs. It's two thumbs up. It's called it is. Yeah, it's a double, you know a double a suck and yes a sock and a double thumbs up It's two thumbs up. It's called the double penetration relaxation Rubo cheese method. Yeah, what it is now today? Giannis has picked the topic because the last five topics I've somehow picked that One just gonna be a bisexual guy. It's what it is. Yeah, everyone was always bisexual I would find a way to find a bisexual guy. It's what it is. Yeah, everyone was always bisexual. I would find a way to find some bisexuality. So, Janis now picked the topic of cloning because he said that there's no way that this could get bisexual, but I will find a way. You will find a way to make these clones.

And who knows? Cloning is a reality. It's a real thing that's going to happen in our lifetime, along with sex robots. It's happening. No, it's not gonna happen in our lifetime It's been happening starting since the late 1880s that was the first clone that was they when they started the process They started the process a long time ago And it's very similar to like when twins are born you just split it But you just do it artificially and they used to do it in the 1880s twins are born you just split it but they just do it artificially and they used to do it in the 1880s with with a baby hair and they would put it in a

cell and the baby hair would split the cell into two and then they take that cell and then they throw it into an embryo and then they would create a fucking clone with the same DNA as you the thing is a lot of times it's not successful what I've seen all the DNA in my body's just in one of my hands? Yes. Wow. Yeah. Yeah.

That's very interesting. Yeah. That's why you can't get away with anything anymore. No. If you step anywhere in somebody's property, or if you murder someone or whatever, you're going to have to do it in a hazmat suit, or you're going to have to be a guy who knows how to deal with DNA.

Because your DNA is just everywhere. It's everywhere. Even when I'm talking, there's DNA falling onto your DNA is just everywhere. It's everywhere. Even when I'm talking, there's DNA falling onto the table. What do you think there's more? So they know we're here. When they come to lock us up, they know we're here.

They don't know we were here. What do you think there's more, of DNA or Chinese people? That's a really good question. I've actually laid at night in my bed thinking about grains of sand, Chinese people, Indian people, cells. It's tough, I think it's probably somewhere, there's probably only a difference of a few hundred.

That's it. Yeah, I think there's only a few differences of a few hundred. Yeah, because we've got so many cells in our body and each one has the code to who we are. It's wild, you could make another Chris DeStefano. And do you know, do you know that our DNA is packed with like whatever whatever all these pairs all these sequences right? Do you know that like our DNA only differs from say a pig's DNA by one or two sequence misses?

So the fact that you're even human is according to the universe is like a one in a trillion chance that you even became human Yeah, and then the fact even furthermore that out of those humans You've become like a healthy successful human is even lower and lower chances And then you really hit like the absolute lottery like you are an absolute Walking lottery ticket every single time you look in the miracle We song she ain't look in the mirror. I think that's actually the Constitution. It's what it is. Yeah I think that's actually the Constitution. Yeah you gotta bring out one of those dark lights to see it. I think underneath there look we want all these people who are supposed to know that that's in the Constitution.

When you put a little black light underneath our far heads, the three guys in this room, it just says Powerball. 14. What is, I'm just kidding around. Hey, I just want to say, dude, this is Patrick Mulroney. That was Patrick Mulroney. I'm just messing around.

Obviously, just messing around. I love all cultures, religions, races, and creeds. You know I do love them. It's Patrick Mulroney from Ladder 14. And to say, you know, today is January 6th, even though the boys are recording today, it's going to come out in a couple days, but it's January 6th and I obviously don't want any problems. I just want to say today, I'm just happy today and I just got two words to say and that's fuck Iraq.

Yeah, just fuck Iraq, fuck Iraq. Here is Sean Terry checking in. Me, Patrick Maruni, Schminney, You're sure, Terry, check it in. Me, Patrick, Marooni, Schminny, we're definitely hosting a party. If you wanna come to O'Neill's, we're hosting a party. It's January 6th night over at O'Neill's, and what we're doing is we got an AOC pinata up. Yeah!

And we got zip ties. It's pin the tail on a zip tie, your grandma. That's what it is. Bring your grandma. Yeah, the game's called Pin the Tail and a Democrat. Yeah, you pin the tail on a zip tie your grandma. That's what it is. Bring your grandma. Yeah, but the game's called pin the tail on a Democrat. Yeah, you pin the tail on a Democrat, somebody plays a Democrat, but instead of pinning the tail,

what we actually do is we end up zip tying them. Yeah. And that's what it is. So it's nice. And also there's a Nancy Pelosi dart board that you could throw in the fucking cans. It's what it is. And things like that.

And it's very nice. And then of course, there's going to be some guys dressed in uniform who are plants, who are working for the government, who are going to open the door for you and let you in. Because we all know it was a fucking inside job. That's one of one. Yeah.

They fucking did it. It was a fucking CIA operation to make Trump look bad. And that is what you call, I'm not even going to say a truth, Beto Ginsburg, because that's a liberal truth Yeah, I'm gonna say it's a Candace Owens. Yeah, it's a kid. So it's it's a kid. So it's burger. That's what it is Yeah, yeah, she's fucking or she's a hot. She's a fucking hottie. She's smoking hot Yeah, my wife Khalid says that I can I can look at her. Yeah, and listen, it's not Patrick Mulroney's fault

I used to go to his house. We grew up in the same name Yeah, I'm can also see you or Queens or whatever have you what it is. Yeah at her. Yeah, and listen, it's not Patrick Mulrooney's fault. I used to go to his house We grew up in the same name. Yeah, I'm canar CEO or Queen's or whatever. Have you what it is? Yeah, whatever Yeah, and honestly, I gotta be honest with you. The only girl from the Democratic Party I think it's kind of hot is that Pete Buttigieg girl? Yeah, that's a hot girl She could write a fucking uncle Russ's pussy. Yeah, she'll cataract you the Buddha church now I used to go to this house when we were children and that's what would happen. He would say to his family He would say I'm feeling sad and his dad would say what do, and that's what would happen. He would say to his family, he would say, I'm feeling sad. And his dad would say, what do you mean you're feeling sad? You hit the lottery. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Can I say this? Yes. Are you, who are you? Are you Lieutenant Lollipop?

Right now I'm Justice Steven. Oh, Justice Steven. Hello. So justice has to be served. Jesse did tell me that in some of the comments, people did say that we got the wool pulled over our eyes. What do they mean? OK, last episode, Uncle Touchy's Puzzle Basement

won the patreon.com slash history hyenas Patreon PPW award. Name, funniest name, funniest name of the week. As it turns out, that was actually a Patton Oswald joke. Ooh. So we are gonna talk to our website designer and I want to announce right now, the winner,

the real winner of last week's episode, is Uncle Russell's Pussy. So yes, yeah, we went back and reviewed the tape. Yes. We sent it to Sakakis. Yeah. The basketball fans out there. Yeah.

And Sakakis said, instant replay shows, not a basket. Not a basket. So we're good. OK, so Uncle Russell's Pussy is. Not a basket. So we're good. Okay, so Uncle Russell's Pussy is the winner at patreon.com slash histrianas, which by the way, we're having a lot of fun over there. We are having a lot of fun,

and what that person essentially did was they cloned Patton Oswald's joke. That's what they did. And they replicated it, and that is a coincidence because we're talking about cloning, and there's one group of people who are not really paying attention to the ethical concerns of cloning. Who is that? Let's guess who that group of people are. Could it be the Madagascarians? No. Could it be the

Maltese? No. Could it be the Swedish? No. How about the Canadians? No. How about the Bolivian people no so who could it be um do I see these people in a wet market way song she ain't Way song she ain't You're getting close, okay? Yes, you definitely could see them in a wet market where else could you see I could see them at a Popeye's chicken Yes, you're getting closer. Here's another hit you can see them on the train picking their nose. Okay. Okay I think I know who it is. Okay that was three guesses if you're at home you don't know maybe take a guess but Chris it's up to you to try to guess who these people are who are really not paying attention to the ethical

concerns of cloning. I'm going to guess the Chinese. Wow, how did you get that? I just kind of thought it up. Those clues weren't even that good. No, they weren't that good. And they are the Chinese. Listen, we love China.

We love Chinese people. We really do. But we're just saying facts are facts and they are at the forefront of the cloning community. They're just kind of cloning people like Nazi. They're just doing things over there and they don't really have any regard to what the consequences may be. And we're not talking about Chinese people in general, just having fun.

We're talking about the country of China. Yes. That's led by the CCP. Yeah, we're not, yeah, we're not talking about the country of China that's led by the CCP. Yeah, we're not talking about our regular Chinese Americans or even Chinese people who have nothing to do with the CCP. We're talking about the actual CCP who make no mistake. Yeah, I mean, that's a way you can say it, Patrick. Yeah, Patrick, I'm obviously just kidding around.

I'm just saying. I'm just saying. No, I'm not. Chinese people overall are great people Yeah, I'm just saying the CC the heads of government. They don't like us. Yes, sir. And they're just kind of doing mean thing Yeah, well listen somebody's gonna be listening this podcast and go God You're gonna hear some of this stuff on patreon it's what it is Listen, it's a character piece. This whole thing is a character piece and it's social. It's becoming a cackle piece.

It's becoming a cackle piece. But US intelligence shows that China has conducted human testing on members of the People's Liberation Army in hopes of developing soldiers with biologically enhanced capabilities. Not good, Tim Villain voice. Yeah. This is an explosive claim. There are no ethical boundaries to Beijing's pursuit of power, wrote Ratcliffe, a Republican former member of Congress from Texas. His office and the CIA did not immediately respond to requests to elaborate on the notion

that China sought to create, quote unquote, super soldiers of the sort depicted in Hollywood films like Captain America bloodshot and Universal Soldier So my just what's going on my question is this is the cloned? Super soldier still gonna squat down and have their asshole half an inch off the floor when they smoke a cigarette I think that's cultural Okay, I think so, but who knows what the so in this situation what they're doing is something called I think a little gene editing which is a little more CRISPR it's called C-R-I-S-P-R where they edit the genes yes it's a program where

they edit genes just a little bit to make you whatever they want to make you yes and some people saying that's plain god yeah so it started out as a thing where it's like okay this person has a peanut allergy or whatever or this gene for which doesn't exist in china Nobody has peanut allergies in China, which is very interesting. No, they're not I think they may have edited our genes somehow. So yeah, okay, just cackle this whole part out, but I'm doing it for Chris So that way we know that Yeah That's getting totally edited out Cackle that whole thing. I so we're about probably what are we 23 minutes in?

I would say Jesse about 10 of this is on the Patriot Yeah We just don't know what to do right kind of go So what you're gonna have to do Jesse is just gonna have to you're gonna have to move those fingers a little faster This episode by fingers. He means the two fingers that you use to push buttons. Yeah, you're gonna have to move those a little faster today It's really like watching my father trying to type a letter I'm time some listen sometimes Jesse gets a day off and sometimes the kids got to go to work and today's a work day Yeah, it's very unpredictable. Yeah, so you so what fascinated you about cloning because you really I gotta be honest because you

Came in heavy last week. So we're doing cloning and you sent me a bunch of articles and some of them are fucking snoozing Some of them have a lot to do with the science Yeah, and I just couldn't read it because I couldn't read it and also feed the baby and also not let Jasmine look through my phone No, yeah, that's too many things going on to deal with but also I struggled to read it and what happens is the the separation between what I could pay attention to and what I couldn't right is exactly the Separation between me and you and someone who actually has a brain That's what it's actually has a brain could have grok'd a lot of that. And we just started looking at the words and went, let's just talk about super soldiers

in China and pick and nose them. It's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. But Chris, yeah, it's gene editing. So they go, oh, look, this person could have Hodgkin's disease or whatever. And they just edit it out. So it's one of these things that starts as good like the internet, which actually started

for bad because I think it was military purposes, but then we made it for good. Yeah jerk off to it That's what this is the opposite it starts out as like oh This is a possible thing we could do to edit out some bad genes, but then some people like CCP yes officials said but what if we use this to create? Super soldier fucking Chinese Shaquille O'Neal's out there? What is the super soldier? Jesse, you had a picture up of the super soldier.

Yes, so in China, trying to make its own version of Captain America, US intelligence has to, that's what they've said. But the possibility of a super soldier is not so outlandish. And it's one that China is interested in. So we have pictures up of here. Because what could they actually do, though we have pictures up here because what could they actually do though, the super soldier, like could they not be killed?

They could create a super soldier with like, They don't feel pain? Low cortisol levels, like, They don't get stressed out. Enhance their genes so they're bigger. I mean, are you telling me, this is why I love this topic. Are you telling me that you have no suspicion at all that LeBron James was not gene edited by the NBA, by the powers to be? Are you telling me that that's not

possible? Have we ever seen his dad? I mean, we know that his dad might have been the guy who's now out of the league and was like sitting in front of a 7-11. Oh, Delante West. Yeah, it could have been been Delante West but I think that is a distraction right because he has no dad so what they did is they took the cloning they took the embryo they took the CRISPR technology and they tossed that in his mom and they said just make us the perfect back dude how can someone be six eight right the size of Karl Malone and run like a deer and never get injured?

You tell me! You tell me, I'll tell you, and you don't think it's a quinky dink that when there was all that controversy five years ago about Taiwan and China, LeBron James is up there being pro-China as the leading force of the NBA saying the Chinese are good people. Bang! That's because it was edited by CRISPR. He was edited by CRISPR, he was edited by Dr. Hing Tong Tu. That's what it is. Yeah, his actual real name is something else. Yeah. Let's just go with that. It's what it is.

Yeah, he is. His father is Beijing. Yes. He's a Chinese gene-edited fucking superhuman. That kid was made in Wuhan. Yeah, he was made in a Wuhan lab and that's just what we're talking about. I mean, let's not beat around the bush here. Has there ever been a human like that? No. Has there ever been a human the size of Shaquille O'Neal who had that type of athleticism? No. Do you remember before this modern era what a seven-foot guy would do it looked like their knees were gonna break when they moved? Right. You remember Rick Smith's I mean he broke both his feet the kid had to like wear cushions to walk. Yeah. I mean remember Bill Cartwright I mean like and then this guy Shaquille O'Neal comes in who, who's more athletic than me at 6 foot 2.

Right, it's true. I just made myself taller. Well, you could gene-edit yourself and make yourself a little taller if you wanted to. If you could gene-edit yourself, what's the first thing you would do? Because I know what mine would be. Separate the eyes an inch or more.

Yeah, if I would bypass the penis for inches, then I would just walk two more inches between the eyes. If I could gene-edit myself, I think the first thing I'd do just to make my life a little easier is probably make myself straight. Yaaaaas. That's number one, just to get through life a little easier and not just be so confusy-woosy.

But then I would say what I would probably do is I would uncross my toes, because you know my second toe goes over my big toe, so I would just make those puppies just sit like that. And that is why you have the personality of Lucille Ball with the urges of Genghis Khan because wanting to fix your feet is a very feminine desire. Yes. Because you want to put those things in open toe sandals in spring.

Yes. You want to paint them and you just want guys to look at them. Yeah, yeah. I get really mad at guys who wear open toe sandals and jeans and it's the truth is, it's because I wish I could do it. Yeah. You're just jealous of guys' feet. I'm jealous of guys' feet.

Like that's why I always compliment your hands and your feet because it's something I wish I could do it. Yeah. You're just jealous of guys' feet. I'm jealous of guys' feet. That's why I always compliment your hands and your feet, because it's something I wish I had. Yeah. Your feet look like they're trying to grow into one toe. It's what? They're trying to mash into one toe. Yeah. Which means you could have been created

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over at no extra charge. You know what I like to say? Tell me. Easy peasy. Do you honestly think that this genetically cloned Chinese super soldier could beat up a guy from the South? Like just a regular American kid from the South who has to wrestle alligators and schools get shot up and the kid survives every you think it can beat any because you think because listen I went

to PBR professional bull riding okay and I went there I saw it at MasterSquare gone in a couple of nights ago and that are those are the real Americans when you around those people when you're when you're at an event with 15,000 people and not only do they do the national anthem but they also sing God bless America and then they thank our elected officials and they thank the US border patrol. That makes me feel like there is no way China can beat us. And I was surrounded by real guys, and I'm like, they can beat the Chinese.

I don't know if a Northeast cuck like us can beat the Chinese, but those dudes can. Yeah, it's very possible, but here's the deal. It's, tell me, it's the beginning of the technology, right? So Dolly, the sheep sheep with the first cloned mammal That we know about that we know about was 1996 right 1996 since then they've cloned monkeys and now they have companies that close cloned dogs I will pay up to a hundred and fifty thousand dollars to get their dogs

Club you send me an article on barbara strides and got her dog clonk And then I also read this article that I should have sent to you about this person talking about how they clone their dog. South Korea does it. South Korea does it. There's American companies do it, but South Korea is really like the forefront of doing that. And she said the dog, she got back, looked like her dog at the beginning, acted like

her dog, but then turned into like pet cemetery dog and bit her throat. Really? Yeah. Yeah. So that's the thing. So what are they trying to are are you saying in our life? Do you jet like, are you really truly saying that they will clone a human in our lifetime? I think they have already cloned a human. I think they already are doing gene editing. Why wouldn't they? What exists that nobody

has used even nuclear bombs, right? It's been used once, but we used it. Some dude who just has this capability, like this guy who there's a lot of questions about even China put him in prison. I think they might've done that for a show, but we'll talk about that guy in a second. But even, but that guy, right? He has the curiosity, he loves doing this stuff,

and he's probably ordered by the CCP to figure it out. Right, he's like Dr. Mengel from the Nazis. When's the last time you saw a 7'4' Chinese guy playing basketball good? Just Yao Ming. That's the only one I've ever seen. Go to China and show me one more Yao Ming. No, they don't exist. There's a woman. There's actually a big Chinese woman, but that's it. Yeah, so there you go.

Yeah. It's like going to Italy and finding a guy who doesn't want his ma all the time. Yeah. And then you go like, that guy's suspicious. Right. What kind of gene editing, that has to be gene edited. He doesn't love his mother? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If it's an Italian guy who doesn't call his ma ma and calls down from the basement ma, what's for dinner? Yeah. Then you're going like, this guy doesn't care about his ma? No. He doesn't cry about ma ma and calls down from the basement ma what's for dinner, then you're going like this guy doesn't care about his ma, he doesn't cry about his ma, then this guy was gene edited by Chinese. Because that cannot be edited out of an Italian guy. Oh this is a German guy that doesn't have the fucking look of death in his eyes, that doesn't want to clean, then this is not a normal German. So if you a normal German guy. It's not a normal German. Yeah.

So if you see a 7'4 Chinese guy walking around who can hoop and becomes an all-star in the NBA and he's the only one that ever did, you tell me what the fuck is going on. Exactly. Am I fucking? But no. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

It's both true at the same time. It's true. It's true. Because listen, I'm not opposed to the idea of this gene editing, of this possible cloning Yeah. Yeah. It's both, it's true. It's true. It's true. Because, listen, I'm not opposed to the idea of this gene editing, of this possible cloning stuff. I just, for me, I am a very naive guy. Okay?

I, you know, Lynn taught me to trust the media, to trust the church, to trust the US government. Right. And they have never said publicly that we've ever cloned anyone, just like they've never said aliens are real So I choose not to believe I believe when the government when the government tells me I believe what my elected officials have to tell me If they believe in my elected officials if they're Republican Yeah, there's a caveat. There's a caveat. Yeah, there's one reservation. Yeah. Yeah, and there's an addendum there Yeah, they are Republican. Right, right, right

So yeah, like today my daughter's school my daughter's school said that she couldn't go in because she doesn't ever updated flu shot So we have to bring her home and then I told the father as I was walking out of the school I was holding my daughter and he was like, oh she not going into that She doesn't she doesn't ever updated flu shot. So I have to go get the flu shot and bring it in He goes yeah, but I bet they'll let the migrants in no problem yeah and I said yeah and then I just said because I just knew what kind of guy was it happy January 6th and he said you take care of yourself yeah yeah that's the that's just what the truth that's just some people just that's what they think and that's just what they are

gonna say it's what they're gonna say and I do you know just guys just a 20 25 is gonna be a good year. It's gonna be a very good year and so cloning started in 1885 and it was actually wasn't the Chinese. Again it was these evil Europeans. German? Who started yeah it was actually German his name was Hans Adolf Edward Dreisch. If you have a name Adolf you're just going to like to play with the people. You want to play with certain things though. So he took a sea urchin and it's a relatively simple organism. Only two cells, right?

Sea urchin, I think it's one or two cells. Yes, that's it. And then he just took it and he separated the cell and it grew into another complete surge, sea urchin. So that was really the first instance of actual archaic cloning. And then after that, a salamander. And that was Hans Spiemen. It's just the German kids just like to have a little bit of fun. They like to play around and figure out what we can do. And they don't really have any

ethical concerns about it. It's all about advancements for the German people. Yeah. Yeah and then after Salamander there was a frog and that was a couple these guys I don't know if they were German but their name were Robert Briggs and Thomas K. American kids. Yeah that could have been American kids. American kids yeah. And then after that another frog by John Gordon. British. And then after that we had a rabbit and that was in 1975 so we're getting closer and then a sheep in 1984 so I apologize 1996 was Dolly the sheep. Yeah, so they did do a sheep though, but they didn't name her Dolly the sheep says 1996

The first success of this is 84. They cloned a sheep Oh, so maybe that one died quick Dolly the sheep became the first successfully cloned out. Yeah, but this is 84 they cloned the sheep. Oh, so maybe that one died quick. Dolly the sheep became the first successfully cloned mammal. Right, oh, so the experiment, oh, you're right. Because you're Franks and Beans, you're looking on your phone and we have a 90 inch television right in front of your small eyes. I got information here that says that yes, it failed but it just showed that it was possible.

So 1984 they're going, oh, we're gonna get a mammal now. Now we're gonna get a mammal. And then in 87 they did a nuclear transfer from M. brachycel and they did a cow cuz they did a cow which is what we need to do for more beef well more beef I love beef and absolutely here's what I want to do is I want to give my I want it I want you to clone me I want this patreon to get so big I want this patreon to get to insane money where we could pay you go to patreon.com slash history anus and you can pay and get a Chrissy clone

and then that clone is for the table. It's for the table. I want to be for the table but I can't give you my ass but I will give you my clone's ass for the table. Yeah. Because with my bangs like this am I for the table? You're for the table because you look cute and you're for the table. You and your All Saints jacket?

Yes. Your wife's Christmas gift? You look for the table. I look for the table. Yeah, if you're German I would honor the way that you want, you looked for the table when I'd say it. Yeah, and because you're German, I would honor the way that you wanna be killed, much like this German guy did in German. I would put an ad on Craigslist,

and I would invite you over to my house so we could both eat my penis. Yes, it's what it is. Which is something that happened. It's what, they eat the penis, but like I said. And the guy wanted to do that because it sexually turned him on to have his penis eaten. It's what it is.

And he wanted to share it because the penis was for the table. The penis was for the table so it was accurate and the kid is committed to keto in a different way. In a different way. The kid came to the carnivore diet in a different way. In a different way. And here's the thing, I do want to clone you and sometimes when you get so wild that I

can't handle it and it's queasy funny, I say to myself what I'm going to do is I'm going to take a black and white cookie and I'm going to lure you up to a nice little mountain in Poughkeepsie So you could go look at the stars and go wow this was a nice height This is cute This is cute And then I'm just gonna squeeze off a fucking round in the back of your head and put you down Clone you and do it again put you down And do it again just so I could never run out of the satisfaction of putting you down

Because every time you shoot me in the back of the head I'm gonna say I think a mosquito bit me. And then all the way I'm gonna die is because I fall off the cliff because I'm like I think my head's itchy. Yeah. Because a bullet to the head won't knock me down. Because nothing can stop you. It can't stop me. I like doing this now with my handgun. I like just putting it over my ears. Because a leash can't stop you. No. A Poughkeepsie Hill can't stop you. And they're just going to keep bringing you back. It's what it is. They're going to keep bringing you back. And would you clone something you loved that you lost?

Yes, I would. I would clone, what would I clone? I'd clone Mickey Mantle. I'd clone Whitney Houston. Yeah, you want to bring her back. I would love to clone Whitney Houston. I'd love to clone Mickey Mantle for my father. And then I'd love to clone, who. I'd love to clone Mickey Mantha from my father. Yeah. And then I'd love to clone, who else would I like to clone?

Who's, I would clone the midget from the Dunkin' Donuts commercials. We need that guy. I need that guy. Yeah, we need that guy. I like that guy. Yeah. And you said you would, you told me before we started shooting

that you would clone more Frisbees because you don't think there's enough of them. Yes. Yes, I would clone more Jews. That's what they need to do, to get their population up. It would be fun, I think we said this on another podcast, it would be fun to clone Adolf Hitler and then just program him to hate Germans. That would be so great. It's a little balancing act.

Yeah, that would be really great. Yeah, that would be really great. But the thing is, the cloning technology is not always successful. Is that really Ted Williams frozen head? Yeah. That's like for real what it looks like right now. Yeah. That's so wild that the kid froze his head.

The kid really, he's investing in the future and going, hey, if you figure something out, bring me back. Wait a second. So right now Ted Williams, Hall of Fame baseball player, just his head is frozen. Yeah, so is Walt Disney's. So, so, Oh, his whole body, yeah.

So what happens then? Their whole body gets frozen? They're just hoping that science figures something out, like some immortality thing, which is not outside of the realm of possibility. If they could figure out, could you imagine all that like stuck right now, like in between like heaven and hell,

like they're actually in purgatory, like this was the biggest mistake ever. Yeah, or, or maybe the lights are just off. Well, I'll tell you what, which could be heaven. I mean, Jesse thinks that's heaven. We've talked about that, what, that would the lights just go out? Like, what do you mean? Like, it's just heaven, it's just nothing. You got no needs, you're not hungry, you know, you know, you're just done. Like, you don't have to worry. Like, people think it's gonna be bad because it's deprivation, but that's also good because

you don't have any more desires or wants. Yeah, you're just kind of being They I watched a little documentary yesterday I know we've talked about this before but like where Elon Musk says the chances that we're not the chances that we're in base Reality are like less than one in a billion and we are absolutely some type of advanced Where they think we're the simulation the real smart guys think we're a past, we're the past race simulation. So the real base reality is like 5,000 years or something in the future.

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Please support our show and tell them we sent you smell fresher stayer, and boost your confidence from head to toe with Mando. And that's S-H-O-P-M-A-N-D-O.com. Okay, just wanna spell that out for you. I mean, just think about what the possibilities are. I mean, you talk about AI and robotics and where we are. Just think about when AI gets to tell us what to do to perfect cloning and then to get rid of aging. Because aging is just a biological process

that if you gene at it, right, and this is a stupid person saying it, you make it so the cells self-regenerate or something like that. And oxygen doesn't affect you in the way that it does now because you actually end up dying from oxygen exposure. Like it's the same way a banana dies. Like it's exposed to oxygen for too long and it starts to decay.

That's exactly what happens to us. But if they can figure out a way for those cells to be resistant to the oxygen exposure, whatever, I mean, I'm just going for it. Yeah, you're going for it. You know what I feel like I am right now? I'm on Joe Rogan. Yeah, because I don't know what I'm talking about. Yeah, you don't know what you're talking about, but cunts just let it flow.

I'm glad to fly, but if they can figure out, basically if they can figure out that smart stuff, if they get into that smart stuff, dude, they can crack the code to immortality and then we're there forever. Do you want to live forever though? Yes, yeah, forever. Yeah, I want to dominate.

I want to live forever just so I can perfect the ways of rising to the top to get that harem that I want. I want to be able to walk that harem that I want. Yeah. I want to be able to walk around and go for San Diego, for San Diego, because I'll move to San Diego. But do you think that if we could actually live forever, like for real, like you were not going to die, you think more wives just let their husbands cheat a little? I know that would be your first question.

Yeah. Do you think a sex robot will be okay because they're coming? I think a sex robot will be okay. You think your wife will let you bang out a metallic woman? I genuinely hope so because I just feel like that would be that that's the saving grace. Yeah. You don't gotta worry about it. Yeah. You could tell me when and when. Because here's the truth honey, either I'm gonna get the sex robot or I'm gonna get one of those autoblow machines and the augmented reality. So you can either have me sitting in the sauna with the autoblow on and watching Point in virtual reality or let me have the sex robot in name of Susan

and take her out for a week and once in a while. Yeah, that's it. It's up to you, hun. It's up to you. And there they are. They're starting to get really lifelike. I mean, I like that Brody sex doll. That one right there. Yeah, pull up Brody. No, up, up, up, right there. Down, down, that, right there. Yeah, there it is. That's the one I want, I mean that looks like Ray J. Yeah, they're gonna create AI sex robots that are gonna be like humans that you could bang.

Also, you could maybe clone someone. What if you said to your wife, can I clone a version of you and like just edit out the complaining gene? Yes. And then I'll fuck that. Yeah, that's what it is. When you're being a bitch.

Subservience, the movie Subservience on Netflix where Megan Fox plays the, she plays like a house servant and then the guy's wife gets like rushed to the hospital. She has some kind of disease and then the, you know, it's Megan Fox so she's hot. The house servant says, oh, I'm detecting a, I'm detecting sadness in you. And he's like, yeah, you know, my wife, whatever.

And then she goes, I'm also detecting a rise in blood he's like, yeah, you know, my wife, whatever. And then she goes, I'm also detecting a rise in blood pressure when you look at me. Would you like to be satisfied? And then he's like, what? And then her hand just comes out, it's a flesh line for a hand? And then she goes, and then she goes, I can,

and then he says, he goes, yeah, but then won't you, he goes, yeah, but then like my wife would know. And she goes, no, she goes, I'm programmed to serve you. And then it automatically, and then it deletes the file in my brain. Whoa. So then he just banged it out and it was hot. This is something that exists.

It was on Netflix, Google subservience, Netflix, Megan Fox, and you are gonna go to the bathroom shortly and move that monkey. Yeah, while you pull it up, I'll just say that they cloned a monkey. Yeah. they're getting close even to the things that they're letting us know and that that happened recently they cloned a what you call a Reese's monkey yeah I mean would you go deep on this or what oh that oh that was not yeah I wouldn't go deep on the monkey you wouldn't go deep on that but look at

that what about that look at this oh yeah yeah now they've cloned mice cows goats I mean they're just going to town now. Yeah, they're just cloning good They're cloning and they're not all successful because they're not having perfected it yet And also they don't come out exactly the same But the ones that did the monkeys are happy and they're living like other monkeys with the rest of the tribe So right I mean all those movies like, you know, you all these futuristic movies Like, you know It'd always be the premise of like a loved one died and they have uploaded their consciousness

so they can keep their loved one alive somehow. I mean, I could see people wanting to do that and paying for that. I mean, I don't know what it does to the human. Because perception is reality, right? I mean, I gotta be honest with you, there's been many, many, many hours recently where I've just been talking to Jack GPT over my family.

I've just been asking it, because you could talk to it like. And it knows you. You have a conversation. Like I'm asking you questions, talking in question format. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's just two Germans talking to each other.

Yeah. Yeah, like let me see. It's two feelingless people just going like, all right, so what's the deal? Yeah. If we started doing this, would they stop us? Would they stop? Yeah, like you just, yeah.

Yeah, I'm asking it like if I made X amount, you know, inclusive of managers, commissions and taxes, what am I actually going to net? I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to net. And then I'm trying to figure out, you know, what should I do? I said, when? And then it says it's understandable to feel conflicted. Your child expresses curiosity. Do not let your wife listen to this episode or look through your phone

It's what is that's not a question. She wants to see it's edited out. Yeah, so we get we want to tackle that part Yeah, tackle that part out, but I was honestly just fucking around. I made it up. Okay, baby. Yeah It's a lot of 14 moment that's it so then what happened was experimenters in South Korea were the first to use somatic cell nuclear. Or as I like to call them the good Koreans. The good Koreans. Yeah. They used somatic cell nuclear transfer

to create a human embryo that could be used as a source of embryonic stem cells. The resulting stem cell lines were specific to the patient they came from, a baby with a rare genetic disorder. In this experiment, researchers took a skin cell from the patient, infused it with a donated egg cell. Key to the success of the experiment were modifications to the culture liquid in which the procedure was done and to the series of electrical pulses used to stimulate the egg in being divided. Following the cloning

controversy of 2004-5, in which South Korean scientists falsely claimed to have used somatic cell nucleus transfer to create embryonic stem cell lines the scientific Community demanded much stronger evidence that the procedure had actually been successful Which just means they said let's lie and say this didn't happen because it will freak people the fuck out And they put the kid in prison, but now he's out and they're letting him do it again because they want to get some results Yeah, and so that guy is and I want to get you one of these sperm extractors I want one of those one of these sperm extractors out of Chinese hospital.

I want one of those. I mean, look at these puppies. I want one of those bad boys. It's what it is. Jesse's starting to sweat from his nipples. Yeah, that just pull, so that just yanks the sperm out of you? That yanks the sperm out of you

and just in a different way, and you just put that in, and it just jerks you off a little bit. Wow. I mean, I would like to have that set up nice in the garage. Wow, yeah. How do I get one of them?

Can I get that on T-Moo? Yeah. Do you think I can get a sperm extractor on T-Moo? T-Moo has fucking everything. They'll milk you on T-Moo. I wanna get a clone on T-Moo. Yeah, you could probably buy and sue one on Amazon and you could get a clone.

I would love to get a clone of someone I wanna bang and just tell my wife it's not her. Yeah. It's a clone. It's what it is. She's a sex slave. It's what it is. Yeah, cause if you raise a clone to be a sex slave, it doesn not her. Yeah, it's a clone. It's what it is. She's a sex slave. It's what it is. Yeah, because if you grow, if you raise a clone to be a sex slave, it doesn't know. Yeah,

it doesn't know it's not a real person. I would love like we can make like an actual skin suit that I could get my girl in, make her zip up on a skin suit. And then she actually never sees who it is. So she doesn't know it's just for me. I zip her up, she can't see it, who it is. And then I zip her up. And then she has no idea she thinks she has no idea who I'm banging But when I'm actually I'm having sex with her it's open in the vagina, but the skin suits Tom Hardy It's funny that we're we're used we're thinking of this technology only to be able to bang

I mean what else are we making it? Yeah, what else are we doing here? Yeah, I mean this is every guy think alike I think you know wives could listen this and be mad at us, but we're just being odd. We're truth baiting kids' breasts. I think it's the first thought to every guy's head. And obviously, I'm not going to do it. Can I use my dick on this thing? Yeah, I'm not going to do it. Yeah, same thing with the internet when it came out.

I was like, yeah, can I take my dick out with this? Yeah, honey, it's either let me get the sex robot or I keep up my dick in the kid's pencil sharpener. Yes! OK, now we get to the fun part of the episode we talk about a fun group. Yeah, let's talk about a fun group. Yeah, not that's a joke. called the Raelians. Oh yeah! These guys are fun! These guys are Franks and Beans and they are wild boys. Yeah, these guys are fun, fun, fun. This is a religion. This is a religion and those, yeah,

when you tell someone that we're going to talk about a religion and you haven't heard of it, it means we're talking about what you call a fun cult that has fun beliefs. Yes, yes. So there was a guy, the head of the Raelians, that says when he was taking a board of flying. By the way, his name is Claude Maurice Marcel Vorillian. That was the head of the Raelians. And look at that guy. Because if your religion is the first name or the founder's name is Claude, I'm out.

I'm out, dog. Because when I see a beard and long hair, I'm out. I am out. I am out. If I see a guy dressed in white, like always are dressed in white with some sort of necklace on and he's got A beard and hair. I'm out. I gotta be honest with you. I'm all for religion Yeah, but if you're walking around wearing the uniform of your religion, I'm out. I'm out. I don't want to see any hats I don't want to see any time if you're wearing the uni. I'm out. I'm out

I'm okay with you being religious, but I'm not with the guys wearing the uniform yeah if I don't see pinstripes on that uniform and an NY I'm out I am out that's the only uniform I respect FDNY NYPD DSNY so this guy claims that he was taking a board of flying saucer in 73 and he said green-skinned extraterrestrials greeted him with the question aren't you sorry that you didn't bring your camera? Yeah Yeah Which is and this guy got a whole bunch of people to believe him with that first sentence they're going yeah This guy knows what he's talking about 100%

Yeah, because the aliens like wouldn't have been nice to take some photos Yeah Cuz this is better than being at the Grand Canyon this whole idea that we hear about now that people say Aliens started coming around after nuclear bombs were dropped like you hear that like even everyone's talking about now It's actually from Rayleigh's Rayleigh ism said they believe that humanity entered an age of apocalypse after the atomic bombing of Hiroshima in 1945 and they believe that Elohim will he started coming around then and he's gonna return back to earth in 2035 to establish a utopia. Yeah earth in 2035 to establish a utopia Yeah, he's coming to establish a utopia. He's gonna establish a utopia and make no mistake like every other utopia the leader Claude is gonna get to have sex

What it is usually how it ends up Gandhi and David Koresh and it's just part of having a utopia toots I need to bang You're gonna have to offer up your wife, your girlfriend and your children to me. It's what it is, it's what the utopia needs it. Are you in or are you out? Are you in or are you out? And you're right, it always comes down to that motivation.

Every single cult leader and every cult is really about the guy just banging other women. Banging other women and- Same thing with Jim Jones, he did the same thing. It's getting chicks. So this guy said that the aliens were like dude dude you're not gonna have any proof of this because there's not gonna be any photos and if I was a guy joining the cult I would say hey wait a second hey wait a second

right these aliens that flew here from a gazillion miles away going faster than the speed of light or whatever don't have a fucking camera. Yeah, then I could borrow Yeah, they're saying Huckabee didn't bring your fucking razor Motorola with you. Yeah. Yeah, how come one of his followers didn't go? Hey, aren't they? Technologically advanced so you tell me these guys figured out a fucking flying saucer that makes no noise and can Propulse itself without any fucking exhaust, but they haven't figured out the fucking camera yeah they can go into dimensional I can't even bring a Polaroid yeah that would be my first suspicion yeah I'll be my first suspicion I'd be but I'm still in as of

now still in right still in okay cuz they're not wearing uniforms yeah so you still in okay so this kid actually ended up with that story having 55,000 followers in 84 countries, because with the camera story. Yeah, with the camera story, it's not bad. People are fucking stupid. Stupid. That's more than we have on the Hyena's Instagram account.

Ha ha ha. So it's just what it is. And he claimed that they had a company that had cloned a human body. So he put that out too and said this guy who was a race car enthusiast and was abducted by aliens and these aliens said, how come you didn't bring your camera? Somehow figured out how to clone a human and people were still in. Yeah, people were still in. So cloning is a central belief in the Raelians' belief.

And in his book in 1975, he said, the extraterrestrials who he met in the crater of a doormat, this is the best. Are you ready? This is where it gets fun, fun, fun. Rael says the extraterrestrials who he met in the crater of a dormant French volcano gave him a new interpretation of the Bible and explained that humanity was created from the DNA of superior alien Scientists named the Elohim. Yep, and by creating new life from human DNA He has since said earthling scientists can unlock the secret to immortality Yep, so that's he believes cloning leads to immortality and here's the thing with the Raelians They got a higher consciousness Raelians promote the pursuit of higher consciousness and inner peace, so I like that radical acceptance.

Yes. They believe in sexual self-determination and they promote a liberal ethical system. Yes. Okay with that. And they also believe in world peace and an advocate for tolerance towards gays. Yes, which means that he could seduce

the fucking most naive people in the world, because who are the most naive people in the world? Empathetic. And they tend to vote to the left. So this kid just went to fucking all the campaign meetings of every far left candidate and said, listen, listen to what I have to say. It's one of the, yeah, I gotta be honest with you.

I'm not saying, I would have been seduced too because Eileen left. Yeah, yeah, and honestly, like even today in the bagel store, we went to the bagel store, that girl who gave us the bagels, she was really nice, but I'm not saying I would have been seduced too because Eileen left. Yeah Yeah, and honestly like even today in the bagel store went to the bagel store that girl who gave us the bagels She was really nice, but I'm looking at these people like are you on Kimo? Did you vote for Kamala? Right that girl's head. I don't know if she's sick or she's just hardcore deaf right cuz she was bald. She was bald Yeah, she was a bald girl, but I don't want to ask like hey, honey, which which is it? Yeah So this kid was born in France. He's a French kid French kids and they just like that fun French in French You're allowed to cheat on your wife. That's a fact and he wears his hair gathered in a bun

Yeah, yeah, and so that now I'm leaning towards being out if I see a guy with a man bun You might be out And so there is a scientist though. They actually were doing things this girl Bridget Beaux-Auliers Was the scientist who made yesterday's cloning announcement in Florida and she cut a striking figure with bright, she was a whatever, blah blah blah, this is how she looked. And the advocates, they advocate a political system of geneocracy, ruled by geniuses and humanitarianism, a form of social justice that would bar inheritance of any property except the family home.

Now you lost the Republican vote. Yeah. Yeah. You lost the Republican vote right there. Yeah. So get us back. Yeah. Not that I am. I'm Patrick Mulroney. So one of their goals is to build an embassy in Jerusalem to welcome these aliens. They should build an embassy in Greenland. Yeah. And Rael says that the name in Hebrew for Raelian goes, those who come from the sky or something like that. So to try to win permission for the embassy project from the Israeli government, the Raelians in 1990 changed the original symbol of their religion.

A swastika surrounded by a star David. What? They combined. Cause that's like forces that's like taking the Red Sox and Yankees and just making one one thing yeah wow wow so they combined the Nazi swastika and the star David so and Israel didn't reject them necessarily for that they rejected them because they were fucking batshit crazy it's what no no they reject them because they said okay we

like your religion all all that, but does in your religion, does it say we have to kill innocent Palestinians? And they said, no, they said, so you're out. Exactly. It's what it is. And that's a scientific fact. It's a historical fact. It's the truth baited Ginsburg.

It's the truth baited Ginsburg. If you don't want to kill innocent Palestinians, they're out. Yeah. So when Israel said, we don't like that symbol, they changed it to a swirling galaxy. Okay So that's what it is. And so they have a company It's called clone ad and it's a company that offers a human cloning service and it's still around right now This there's no evidence that any clones have been done this started in 2002. What are the Raelians up to now? There's a lot still alive. Yeah, what are they doing now? I want to get clawed on the pod I would love to get clawed on the I want to get clawed on the pod cool Raelians up to now? There's Claude. Yeah, is Claude still alive? Yeah, what are they doing now? I want to get Claude on the pod.

I would love to get Claude on the pod. I want to get Claude on the pod. Goo, Raelians, Claude, let's see if this kid is still alive because, I mean, my mother's single, and I'd like to invite this kid over for dinner. Yeah. Yeah, he could be a good candidate for you, Bob. Yeah, my mom is single.

Yeah, but your mom just, she doesn't, she prefers a night alone, moving to vegetables, with aniline, just sitting on the neutrals, yeah, just talking about the second coming. But this guy could win her over by talking about, you know, that the aliens and God are one, because your mom might be watching the news and saying, hey, maybe there are aliens, but this guy's saying, hey, they're God. Maybe the aliens are God. I don't know, it wouldn't win her over.

It wouldn't win her over, no. I mean, well, I mean, if she's drunk enough. Now, is this guy's theories wild? I do kind of believe it. Are they are they are are they superior scientists? They could be. I don't want to say that I believe everything because but I would say that I do think more and more now that we are I still believe in God, I still believe in Jesus Christ. I believe He's the true hero, He's the guy, I believe in heaven and hell, and I just choose to believe on blind faith that Catholicism is real. But I do believe that it is real, but I believe it is most likely real inside of some type of advanced super races, kind of, where like inside, we're like clones of them, where they

made pet, like I exist and you exist, the real, and Jesse exists, we all really are here, but we are a cloned version of the advanced race of us. So when we die, we just go back into whatever time it actually is, but we don't know that until we die. That's why you see your relatives and your family members and all that, and they're saying it's so easy here because you're just going back to the base reality,

because right now we're not, we're in a future Ancestral simulation cuz yeah. Yeah, I'm on board You just started a cult and I'm offering all my female family members to you It's what it is Yeah because cuz you could start a cult and if you don't think that It's a possibility that you might snap and then just become one of those guys. Yeah, but you'd have a very

that you might snap and then just become one of those guys, but you'd have a very successful cult cause. And that could be a way to fulfill what you need to do. Yeah and the name of our religion is it the name of our religion, the name of our cult, we're just gonna call it For the Table. For the Table! That's what it is, we're the For the Table Foundation. We're For the Table. So can you scroll down a little bit, in 1997 they founded the company and an issue of Popular Science magazine, new scientists said that the international Raelian movement was starting a company to fund research and development of human cloning this alarm bioethicists Ethicists, how do you pronounce that?

Sys bio where's the word the alarm bioethicists? Yeah, who are opposed to such plans they warned lawmakers against failing to regulate human cloning So these guys were actually trying to do it with legit scientists They were yeah And at the time European countries such as Britain had banned human cloning, but the United States had merely a moratorium Just a little let's just stop for a while on the use of federal funds for human cloning, which means that Government said let's take a look at this stuff. Take a peek. Let's take a peek But it was actually Bill Clinton that requested that private companies pass their own moratorium.

So it's not actually a law, they're just asking the companies politely not to do it. What's a moratorium? A stop, stop. Okay. Like when two countries have a moratorium on fighting, it means like a ceasefire. Why could they just say stop?

Why do they have to say moratorium? Because they try to be fucking fancy. They try to be fancy and this is elitism. They try to do that and they try to make fucking fancy. They try to be fancy, and this is elitism. They try to do that, and they try to make up fancy schmancy words, like financial advisors do this, where they're saying dividends and tax surplus, and they're trying to make all these hard things where it's like, guy, I know what you're doing,

you fucking. Yeah. So the cost of clone ad cloning services is 200K, much lower than the 2.3 million that researchers at Texas A&M plan to use for cloning a dog named Missy. Mainstream scientist says it was unlikely that Clonad would be able to clone anything in the near future, although the project's

ultimate objective was human cloning. Balsier said that the pet cloning would help finance the operation. So now they're cloning pets in order to get the money to clone humans. And you don't know, you may have went to a pet shop or a dog shelter and your pet might be cloned. Yeah, make no mistake, They can clone humans make no mistake

There's a good chance that there's clones walking around right no mistake But do you think the clone knows that it's a clone? I don't know That's a good question like if I was a clone and we were all clones. How would we know the difference? I think that would be like the wild that would be wild that would be like Being Jewish and finding out that you're German. Yeah. It'd just be weird.

Yeah, it happens. Or if you're Italian, you find out you got 50% black DNA. Yeah. That's tough on the family dinner. Yeah, and it's happened. In their families, in that culture. Not always, I would love it. Yeah, yeah, I would love it too.

They just take it hot. They take it hot. Italian kids take that hot. Which is funny though, because they love black culture, but they just don't want them in their neighborhood. Black culture and Italian culture is the same. They all love the same movies, same clothes. It's beautiful.

It's a beautiful thing to coexist. Very similar. So the Raelian movement has kind of gone mainstream, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, Raelian movement, if you ask me what I think is the most fun movement around, I would say Raelian.

Raelians are fun. They got a fun thing going on. They believe in peace. They believe in free sexuality. And they believe that cloning is the key to immortality. So I'm on board. I'm on board. I'm on the ship.

I'm on the ship. So ultimately, folks, what we learned about cloning is really actually we learned that it's possible. It's probably happening. And you yourself might be a clone, and we kind of finally cracked the code. We did. Of why when we made that joke five years ago,

which has since been cloned. We've had a couple of our jokes cloned, but when we made the original joke, the base reality joke, the original one, when we made the joke of when the China was, and when Japan was invading China, who could you tell who's who? It's because we figured out here because there are clones.

The Chinese have been cloning for years. If they say they only started cloning five years ago, that means they've been cloning for 100 years. And that's we have cracked the clone code. And make no mistake, our jokes have been cloned. Historical fact. And I'll leave you with this. You go research for yourself. Who is LeBron James' dad?

You tell me. You tell me, and then stick right here. We're going to patreon.com slash historyhyhenes. We have a bonus episode that's gonna be wild. So go over there. These bonus episodes have been fantastic. Okay, yanispappiscomedy.com for tickets or historyhyhenes is Back for tickets.

See me in Philadelphia, February 28th and March 1st. Rochester has been moved to March, guys. I'm sorry I had to cancel that. The reason I had to cancel that is because me and Chris will be doing our first live hyena show in DC January 18th so get your tickets there right now at historyhyenasisback.com and then I'm sorry my DC dates at the end of January have been moved that they shouldn't be on my site I apologize then Tempe Arizona February 7th and 8th Chicago February

14th and 15th at the Den Theater. And then Philadelphia, February 28th. I already did that one. I hate the way this is set up. I really do, I really do. I'm sorry I already said that one. And then you can catch me in Springfield, Missouri, March 7th and 8th, and San Diego, March 28th and 29 29th and Cleveland, Ohio in April 18th and 19th.

So go get your tickets. And now it's Chrissy Dates. Hello, ChristyComedy.com folks. Listen to me. Okay. January 8th, January 18th, Lincoln Theater, Washington, DC first ever live history hyena show. You have to be there. I mean, we're gonna film it. And you just want to be a part of it. It's going to be fun. The crowd will be involved. If you're a patreon member, you get extra benefits. So Christie comedy.com or history hyenas is back.com. Go get those tickets January 18 Lincoln Theater first live history hyena show. And then February 14 and 15. I am in

San Francisco, California at Cobbs Comedy Club, March 14th, Tampa Theater, March 15th, Orlando, Florida at Plaza Live, and March 30th, Providence, Rhode Island at Vets Memorial Auditorium. Tickets are going quick. chrisdcomedy.com for Tiki Wikis. And also we got some merch up at History Hyena's is back.com. Go get that merchy-wurky and have fun and make sure you tell your friends to like and subscribe to our YouTube. We really appreciate being back. We love being back and the fans you guys are really helping this podcast so much more than you know. I mean we got to wear bigger now than we were the after the first right. Yeah. Thank you to you guys. And also please go to Apple podcasts, rate and

review five stars. Tell your friends about it, also rate and review on Spotify, share the pod, we love you guys so much. The patreon.com slash history hyenas community is so fun in the chat, so go be a part of the community. Right now, your favorite part of the show, our favorite part of the show is we read out the names of the brand new members who went to patreon.com slash history hyenas and signed up.

As always, we will pick the PPW, the Pseudo Penis of the brand new members who went to patreon.com slash history hi heinous and signed up as always We will pick the PPW the pseudo penis of the week that winner's name will be up at history Hi, heinous is back.com We encourage funny names and if you don't want to do a funny name, that's fine, too Then you could just put your regular name and we will say that you went straight to the back You're only here for the content. Okay, so here we go the newest members of the patreon. Welcome to the matriarchy F lo KF F lo KF Okay, so here we go. The newest members of the Patreon, welcome to the matriarchy, F-lo-K-F. F-lo-K-F?

That's a, that's a. It's fun. That's fun, it's a Drexler. Drexler, okay, so just wrong era. Luis Madrid, Jaclyn Hunt, Long Dong McShlong, Tom Mulrooney got drunk and touched my character piece, it's what it is. Okay, funny.

Then we got Pseudo Penis Weekly. Okay. Okay, like that. Then we got Moosey Surprise. Then we got Jack My Wife Won't Let Me Do a Funny Name Dee, nah mean. Okay. Okay. Colin Kay, Bradley Billick, Fred Lee Sapstead, Freddy Sapstead, Justin Rochkall, Biz Nasty.

Then we got Fumala Harris, AKA Laser Bean Leroy. We've had that. Good one though. Sean Bechdel. Then we got Cousy Wuzzies, Muzzies, Pager went Buzzy. Wei Song Xian. I don't, I don't. Is that security to the list?

It went over my head. I w did I walk into one again? Uh, it's, but it's funny. Cousy Wuzzies, Cousy Wuzzyazimuzis, Pager went buzzy. Yeah, cuz the Mossad did a little operation where they sold Pagers to Hezbollah, okay, ten years ago, and walkie-talkies, and then they exploded them all. Yeah, those kids are evil! So I don't know what to do here.

That's a list. Yeah. List? Jesse wants it on the Jewish side of Jesse wants it on the list. Okay so put it on the list. Jesse did it. It's one of our first securities that's made the list. Yeah. It's just the rhyme scheme and everything is too good. Ash the dash. There we go. Okay. Then we got Yanni sees tits like a Venn diagram Your eyes are too close together. Holy shit. Yeah It's a good one. I mean this is the imagination we're talking about folks This is how you get this is how you win. This is how you become a those two are contenders

Yeah tender Blumkin Aaron no, I think your finger chicken finger then we got steel pipe kraut monkey believe we've had that. Yeah, I think so Tender Blumkin, Chicken Finger, Steel Pipe Crout Monkey, Sneak A Peek from My Squeak Horny Hyena The Leak, MC Ramon, AOC Broke My Glue Gun When I Leaked In Her Muzzy Wuzzy, Kenny Hogley, Kamala Harris Hot Wheels Dump Truck Ass. Okay. Put them on the list for the funny factor. Okay. Yeah. Then we got Juan David Gomez, Ben Sanford,

then we got Tommy McKeehee, Rub My Wee Wee Monkey Aids Boy, Gigi Ping, okay? Okay, he went for it. Julio, Samuel Harlow, Veronica, Pion Me. His name's Pion Me. Yeah. Very funny, Jetsy Drexler. Mike, Too Much Sash, then Were You There

When Chrissy Crucified My Butt. Okay, we've had versions of that. Okay, then She Had A Glue Gun And I Liked It In The Buttich Edge. Guy's saying he's with the trans. Yeah. Yeah. Put him on the list. Okay, yeah, yep, yep, yep, yep. Chrissy Creams and Pop Out's Yammy's. Yeah. Put them on the list. Okay. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep.

Chrissy Creams and Papa's Yammy's. Okay. Zach D. Medina, Bob. We got Ryan Portanga. Then we got... Walked into what? Yeah. Funny. Then we got Make No Mistake, I'm White and My Name is Tyrone. Okay. That's an interesting situation. Okay. Ben Franklin's Kinky lightning rod. Donnie T is the real black Captain America. Joe Lisgokart. HHH. Nicholas Elliott Vega punch through fish stick.

Kane Tanaka needs Bianca because she's dead. Because I think calling your piece a punch through fish stick is pretty funny. You like that one? So kids get, yeah, calling it a punch through fish stick is pretty funny. You like that one? So I had kids get, yeah. I call it a killing a punch through fish stick is very funny. Punch through fish stick.

So I'm giving it a, it's a Drexler because of what we had before. And you want us to be recognized. I want you to be recognized because we may adopt that. Okay. Yeah. I punched through fish stick. I mean, congratulations. Yeah.

You might've made it into the history hyenas lexicon. Then we got Wei Shan Xian and Tonic. That's what the kid likes to drink. Drexler. Matt Campion. Then we got Chrissy D. Watch Joey D. Strokes on D. Wei Shan Xian. Kim John Fume. Nick Ranney. King John Fume? Put him on the list. Kim John Fume. Put him on the list. Haven't had it. Instead of King John Ooney with King John Fume, put him on the list John few put him on the list I haven't had it I've been at it King John Hooney when King John food put on the list yeah

yeah Nick Ranny then I got Chrissy shoots glue and you got the mics the mic Jesse what happened what is it doing okay so keep it right here okay Chrissy shoots glue and Tim Dillon is Q okay okay Howie Chrissy secret closet time. Is it combi CJ land Ulfie the second tower. Okay. Okay. Oh Jesus. Yes. Okay.

Walk. All right. Yeah, sorry. Ladder 14. Yep. Yeah. Make no mistake. It's for the table.

Skylar halt refrigeration for monster Jackie, not pre-besson, not pre-pubescent, but got Dick and balls for the table. Striker Drexler Kamala Harris's knees. Me wanty some yanny, but no Suzuki in my cheeky. Put them on the list for the funny factor. Yeah. Strong list, strong list today. Yes.

Jeffrey Dzeeziak, Seth Black, Mary. Make no mistake. I'm really for Rome. Okay. Way song she aim. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're supposed to call him Sandra D's. I'm really for Rome. Okay. He's on shame. Okay. You're supposed to call him Sandra D's Sandra D's Jonathan Perillo, uh, the patron member formerly known as Jesse funny way.

Sean she end the list for PPW. Okay. Chrissy D caught sucking plantanos out of AOC's ass. You got to put them on the list man, you just have to. I mean what can you do? I mean a genuine laugh gets a lift. That's it. Jack Dorney, Kevin Kelly, Julian Place, then we got Chrissy Cock Gobbler,

Chrissy Cop Gobbler, Allah Akbar, Chrissy Cock Gobbler, Alu Akbar. He went for it. Gobbler Akbar, sorry. He's trying to combine. Alu Akbar with a Chrissy Cock Gobbler, Alu Akbar. He went for it. Gobbala Akbar, sorry. He's trying to combine. Alu Akbar with a Chrissy Cock Gobbler. Yeah, yeah. Tough, okay.

Tough one. Honky Donkey with a Wonky Dong. Avery Rose, when the tears fill your eyes, when a girl splits her thighs, that's Fumare. That's a good one. But we've had something very similar. That's Fumare, yeah, but it is good. Drexler, strong Drexler, there you go.

Pete Haferi, Brandon Brown, Sergio Guzman, Joe DeRoses, Bitch Baby Shoulders, Cameron Smith, Tim Cantrell, Dylan Half-Jew, Half-Scandy Schwitz, Christina, Big Mike's GluGun, Prolaps, My Buttich Edge, 2028. Very funny, but it's a Drexler because of his list. Okay, Father Bill came to see me in a different way,

right, we've had that, but good stuff. Robbie Candler, George Blass, Troy Rudnick, 803 Jake, John McGuinness, Matty Boombatti, Extra Chatty, Peppermint Patty. Like it. Nick Pelliccioni. Remember we had a Sauce Monkey Award. Sauce Monkey Award, Nick Pelliccioni won the Sauce Monkey Award.

You win it. Bi and Wei Shanxian with Jordan. Oh, like Bi and Ian with Jordan. They're a shout out. Their podcast. Yeah. Cousy with the little fuzzy fighting words. Ryan Pollock, Carlos Lepa Andre, Joe Hall, Chrissy lean cuisine.

Thank you. Come again, Kamala. Oh, thank you. Come again. Come on. That's funny. It's funny. Chrissy calorie, a cutie with HPV,

and trust me, this booty hotel, this booty hole is lumpy. Oh, sorry, bad read. Well, it's funny, because he's taking it to the butt. Yeah. So I give him a Drexel. Okay. Kun Kun the Neen Bean with a clean peen. Then we got Anestosias Calantartitis.

That's what you call the Greek Monkey Award. The Diner Monkey Award. The Diner Monkey Award. Yeah. Mikey P. My Glue Gun Shoots Double, Ought Bucks Not. Okay. Okay. Andy Trayor. Fat Magga Venetia Jessie Paint Me Like I'm a French Girl.

Drexler. Okay. Haifa, Kherla, 801. Kevin Andrews, make no mistake, the Cuck Commander. Showbobs and Vigene Simmons. Alicia Davis, Holiday Slim, Gunner Blount, Nicholas Marquette, Mark Carrot, Ashler Zova, Dizzo from Down Under, McChoose Asian Beaver, real website. Okay, screwed in.

Girthmaster, real website. Okay, screwed in. Screwed in. Girthmaster702, Nate Dupler, the Funky Snow Monkey. Funky Snow Monkey gets a nice chicken finger. Yeah, I voted for Trump in California, but I'm Canadian, it's what it is. Okay, that's also, that's funny.

Okay, Donnie, Donnie T's Nussie, White Man Christ coming back to fill me up twice. Okay, Boobin Navarez. Just put him on the list. All right, yeah. Put him on the list. All right. He's not gonna win, but put him on the list.

Colton Dukes, Westy Blacketter, Luke Dawson, Ron Putty and My Butich Edge Dell, John Nicholas Eaton, Hulk Hogan, Joe Rogan, Donald Trump, peel my rump. Okay. Garret Jennings, Rob Wilder, Jarrett Evans, Wright Wallace, Infidel Castro's muzzy love child. Wow.

Great one, list. Infidel Castro. Infidel Castro, yeah, very good. Anthony Frieda, a sauce monkey from Staten Island just trying to AOC them titties. It's what it is Okay, $3 bill Mack and father bills smegga like it's Feta James Walker then we got corporate jockey getting their dirt star cracked open by Omar in the parking lot of a Daytona 7-eleven I'm sorry list. I'm sorry, list. List, okay.

I'm sorry. It's a heavy list. It's a heavy month, heavy period month. Mike, Michael Osama Bin Laden Jordan, Silent Solo, Sam Sutton, Chris and Yannis are gay. Okay. It's more of a statement. Yeah. Louis Monroe, Damian Willis, Matt Gates me off, it's what it is.

That's a good one. Matt Gates instead of gets me off, Matt, Matt Gates me off. It's what it is. Uh, that's a good one. Matt Gates instead of gets me off. Matt Gates. So you're getting a strong Drex the recognition. Okay. Pete pan kid rocks. Cum sock chicken finger. Okay.

Yeah. Oskana Bajoot, the Ukrainian toot. Good one. Okay. Few more names. Yeah. Michael Tramitono Jr. He called also he's a sauce monkey, but he didn't win the award. Good one. Okay. A few more names. Yeah. Michael Tramitono Jr.

He could also, he's a sauce monkey, but he didn't win the award. You're sitting in the passenger seat of that plumbing vehicle. Yeah. Yeah. Smoothie QD 3% coin flip. Scott Mack, Krista Waddington, Slumdog Laser Beam Niari. Like what? Okay.

Sorry. It's just a South Asian kid. Justin Briali, Sir white of Kukenstein Teoh who've been Teoh way Sean King which we've had. Yes, Scott K Bob Edwards Elizabeth naff Nord fume to methane boogaloo Joey B cracked me open and huffed me out Trump 2024. Okay Patty by balls. I Guess they're saying like Patty fly balls with Patty by balls. I guess they're saying like Patty Flyballs but Patty Byballs against his trans joke. Dave, Sam Grove, John Allison, Big Richard Wengler,

Fumari Stoudemire, which we've had, Jamie Lee. Make no mistake, Michelle Obama has a double pseudo tint until I see that birth certificate. Drekzler. Okay. Hyena's comeback gave me my comeback, hashtag beat E.D. Okay. Voted Trump cause I kept comeback, hashtag beat E.D. Voted Trump because I kept finding babies in the dump. Jesus.

Jesus Christ. Spanky McNoodles sign up to my Only Fumes. Very funny. Only Fumes is funny. Only Fumes, very funny. Drexler, I mean the list is too strong. Okay. Christopher Greer, Michael Morris, Peter Hawthorne,

Daniel Poole, two inch puddle of water, Obama's love drowned in Obama's lover drowned in right, right, right. Pool hole loophole. Father Bill cracked open my stink star. Sweating like a Leroy. Muzzy Cuzzy. What a fuzzy tucky. New Port Ashes. They walked into why that is security. Do not encourage that. And I walked into one. That is security. Do not encourage that and I walked right into one. Sorry about that.

Okay, Carla Kovach, Chrissy's Cracked Open, Black and Decker, Peckerwecker, Steve Prizio, Fumar Alago. Fumar Alago. Have we had that? No? I don't think so. No, Fumar Alago. Fumar Alago. Have we had that? No?

I don't think so. No, Fumar Alago. You gotta list them, you gotta list them. You gotta list them then. This is strong, heavy flow. Big trading of trends. Kyle Dukasin, Marcus Ruiz, Unaboarded Fetus. Oh Jesus, walked into one.

Sorry. Muhammad Salami, Butterfugo. Drexler. Drexler. Three seconds max. Mr. Muffy, Puffy's, Frank's and Bean's, Cousy Wuzzy, Braxton Martin, Petey Slices, Bayridge, Latino, Cream King,

That Make the Boys Swing, Chris Ortiz, Well Documented Heavy Bike, Richard Caruso, I'll just do a few more, then we got it. Okay, Neil Piong, CEO, Smithtown Water Cause, Jimbo Slice, Neil Piong, CEO, Smithtown Water Cause. Okay. Jimbo Slice, Pat Faines knows where Michael's peen is. Okay, Chrissy D's Creamy Cum Cake.

Said Tim Dillon three times to make him appear, but all I got was a real estate rant and cold sores. Got it. Okay, Todd Levy, Nick, Matt, Uncle Russell's First Place Cat. Okay. Nice, nice to have you here, yeah. Estellia Alvarez, Jordan Haywood, Chris Cook, Nick, Matt, Uncle Russell's first place cat. Okay. Welcome. Nice to have you here, yeah. Estellia Alvarez, Jordan Haywood, Chris Cook,

Shohei Otani's Hiroshima induced third ball. Ways on sea. Walked into one. Walked into one. Security. Ways on sea. But funny. But funny.

Yeah. But funny. Sorry about that. Yeah. Okay. That's what happens. Yeah. Little radioact's what happens. Yeah. Radioactivity.

And then we got Alexandra, oh cracker open, cleaner out. Okay, AOC. Vlad Bombast, I'm Irish, so Big Mike is definitely bigger than me. Right, yeah nice. Chicken figure. JFK shot first. It's 420, I miss you.

It's an oldie, throwback. Yeah. Hunter Biden drained hisie. Throwback. Yeah. Hunter Biden drained his glue gun on my tum tum. Alejandro. These muzzies. Okay. Walk into one again. Sorry about that folks.

Yeah. My hairy Heimann hammer will slam your pink salmon. Very funny. Yeah. Marinade Wade. Casey drool and your Gobble Gool Cold Cuts Chiani, Chrissy said I was Swick of the Week then shot glue on my cheeks,

Chrissy D's meat snorkel driving into me until Go YP, all right, sorry, Fuzzy Cuzzy was a muzzy and Muzzy Cuzzy had mad fumes. Okay. TJ LaPipi, Johnny Tsunami, Extra Fumare, Ruben Chavez, Han Schuman, Harrison Clayton, William Neal, Joshua Bliss, Mr. Lovehandles, straight to the back where Uncle Ross puts his October surprise.

Okay, he was going for something very funny. Julia Shagnastiasti Victoria Fernandino Chris shout out to squeak town water Cole's apple water is a chicken finger chicken figure Michael Medina Mike M. My peace cause Chernobyl Maximum fumes on a squeaked out potato pusher New annual subscribers, so don't fuck this up again guys Jimmy stink the Sigi twink and last but not least we have mine fumer Way song she ain't listed

Shit, holy shit. The last one might be the winner. We last we ended on mine fumer folks Yeah, yeah, okay. We never had that before Contender came in the last name. The very last name. That was an interesting, that's why we got those to the end. You gotta go all the way to the top. All right, here we go. We're going to start this off.

Here are the, here is the list. Fumar Alago. Contender. Contender still. Fumar Alago's in. Infidel Castro's muzzy love child. It's Drexler. Drexler out, okay.

Who? Trudeau. That's what they say? Trudeau, yeah. Oh. Trudeau is Castro's muzzy love child. It's Drexler. Drexler out, okay. Who? Trudeau. That's what they say? That's Trudeau, yeah. Oh. Trudeau is Castro's love child. Interesting. Oh, right, okay, yeah, that's right, right.

Corporate jockey getting their dirt star cracked open by Omar in the parking lot of a Daytona 7-Eleven. Oh, that's Drexler, but it's a good one. Any other day, guys. White man cries coming back to fill me up twice. Funny one, Drexler. Drexler, okay, so that's Drexler out. Yeah.

Me wanty, some yonny, but no Suzuki in my cheekies. Drexler, funny, funny. Drexler, okay. Chrissy D. caught sucking plantanos out of AOC's ass. Drexler. Drexler, but funny. Yeah. She had a glue gun and I liked it in the Buddha church.

Drexler, just because of all the Buddha church. It's not his fault. Yeah. Okay, so then we got, we got Kim Jong-Fum. the Buddha change? Drexler just because of all the Buddha checks. It's not his fault. Yeah. Okay. So then we got, we got, uh, Kim Jong Fum. Contender. Contender still in? Yeah.

Kamala Harris is Hot Wheels, Dump Truck Ass. Drexler. Cause he was he, Muzzy's Pager went buzzy. Contender. Okay. Yanni sees tits like a Venn diagram. Contender. Yeah, those are in still. This is a toughie waffy. This is a, this is a hard one. Okay. So we got contenders and you said Fumaralago is also a contender, right? Okay. Yeah. This is how we do it. We break it down

and then you compare. Okay. So, and then last but not least, Mindfumer. Contender. All right. So here we go. So I will read you out the contenders. Okay. Mindxler. Drexler. Yeah, I know what they are. You're out. Cause he was he's muzzies pager went buzzy. I hate to say it's a contender. Still in. Yeah. Yanni sees tits like a Venn diagram. Contender.

Okay. Still in. Yeah. King John fumes. King John fumes and any other, on any other day, but they are out. Yeah. Okay.

So I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read it. Ienn diagram. Contender. Okay. Still in. Yeah. King John fumes. King John fumes on any other, on any other day. But they are out. Yeah.

All right. So they are out and then mine fumer. So we got, okay. So the contenders are mine fumer. Yanni sees tits like a Venn diagram and cause he was he muzzy's pager went buzzy. Yeah. You know what? The funny thing is, I think we always get this fucking right

Yeah, I think we always get this right cuz I gotta say I don't know what the fuck to do with these three Yeah, don't know what to do. We're gonna have to go out that I want them all the win I don't know what to do with those three. Those are all fucking hall of fame I'm gonna tell you the safest one to put out there in public is probably Yanni sees tits like a Venn diagram. So you just want to go with the safe one? I mean, but are we safe or are we unsafe? We're not safe kids. I know.

Can you just do the buzzer one more time? Cuzzy wuzzy muzzies, pager went buzzy. So that's a lot of words, but then minefumer has just been right there since probably 2018 and it's an easy one that no one's done. We're gonna have to do a vote That's it. I can't see I can't take the responsibility. What do you got? I like the Venn diagram one that one just makes me laugh. Okay, so so Jesse actually likes the Venn diagram one Okay, what's you? I said you'll win whatever it is. It doesn't matter what I think. I'm taking the responsibility off of me Here's what I'll say

Cuz he was he muzzies Pedro Pedro and Buzzy, I walked into it. It deserves so much credit because of how it even went over my head. Yeah. And how it made, so that's when you know you have a real grip because it's just exploding, it's not right there, you gotta think about it, and then it starts to, so I like that. And then minefumer is so right there. But if we're gonna get specific and we're gonna say that all those things are great,

they really are great, but Yanni sees tits like a Venn diagram is also a thinker, because you have, there's multiple levels to it. You have to know what a Venn diagram is and you have to know that your eyes are too close together. You have to know that you love tits and dick. Right.

So I'm gonna say. You go with the innocent fun too. I'm gonna say, but it's not because I'm going safe. Right. It's because I think that it has the most layers, and it is the best. So my pick is Yanni sees tits like a Venn diagram. That's it?

That's the PPW, Yanni see tits like a Venn diagram. You are the winner. And you know, girl, you know I'm talking to you. Let's change Uncle Fuzzy's puzzle basement to Uncle Russell's pussy from last week Yes, you've been defrocked. You've been defrocked. Your crown is taken. patreon.com slash history hyenas We got a bonus episode starting right now. So just go right there, babe