History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - Colonial Williamsburg, Burger King at 2AM & American Chaos | History Hyenas

Episode Date: July 2, 2026

Step back in time with the Hyenas as the boys wander through **Colonial Williamsburg**, debate the magic of a **2AM Burger King run**, explore the gloriously chaotic decay of **Atlantic City**, and gush over the postcard-perfect charm of **Spring Lake** on the Jersey Shore. From America's colonial roots to late-night fast food, abandoned casinos, and one of the East Coast's prettiest beach towns, no topic is safe when the Hyenas are riffing. 👍 Like, subscribe, and let us know: What's the most underrated town in America? #HistoryHyenas #YannisPappas #ChrisDistefano #ColonialWilliamsburg #AtlanticCity #JerseyShore #SpringLake #ComedyPodcast #HistoryPodcast #AmericanHistory Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas/ Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit.ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0 Hyenas Merch!!! https://store.historyhyenaspod.com Follow us Cuz! 🙆🏻‍♂️ Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ 🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ 🐕More Hyenas Website: www.historyhyenasisback.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/historyhyenas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HistoryHyenas Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/historyhyenaspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Listen, Trollco, they're sponsoring the show today, okay? And the story is good. Yeah, I actually want to tell you about them because the story is legitimately good. You know the phrase dirty hands clean money? It's a blue collar saying that's been around forever. It means exactly what it sounds like. You work hard with your hands. You earn an honest living and you build a good life, a good white life.

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I got brand new hour of stand-up material. It's been really fun to be back in the comedy clubs. July 10th and 11, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Shows are almost sold out. So get tickets right now, August 21st, 22nd, Portland, Maine Empire Comedy Club. Go get tickets, Chris D.comedy. That's a very cute. Portland Mini's cute. Yeah, right?

Yeah, you can see me in East Hampton. You can see me in New Brunswick, New Jersey, Philadelphia, PA, and Austin, Texas this summer. Tickets, Janus Pappas Comedy.com. Don't forget your all-in-one Patreon.com slash history hyenas for a bonus episodes. You don't have to have any ads. You can just watch it and get everything, including this episode, uncensored. What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of History Hyenas.

Stefano, aka Chrissy Colostomy bags. With me as always is Janis Pappas, aka Yanni Pastrami in the ass. That's where it goes. I just couldn't think of anything. That's where it goes. How about Yanni nice hair date even though Yanni got no product in? I was going to

say, so call me Yanni 2017. 2017 Yanni, how about natural, how about Natty, Yonnie Natty Natties? Yonnie Nattie. Because your hair tits are Natties right now. I don't have any hair tits. Yeah, but you're just a handsome kid that you'll get punch through. Yeah, but ex-be

ex-be-ness question. Let me ask you. Why is it that I'm a kid that it always looked like I was going to need hair tits, but I still don't need hair tits? Because you're a confusing guy. You look like you're balding, but you actually have more hair than the rest of us. You look like you're skinny, but

fat. You sound smart, but you're a retard. That's just what you are in a nutshell, which is also the size your head. Yes, you nailed it. I just nailed it, right?

Yes, you nailed it. You nailed it. I think that perfectly summarizes me. It's just one. Tilted birds. Hilted birds. Teebies. We're looking right now.

We're going to do a great episode. Because if we were two birds, we would fly into each other and crash. 100%. And we're going to do a great episode for you guys today about some of the richest towns in America. But right now we have a picture of Robert De Niro's shirtless in the movie Cape Fear. Because Jesse wants to go pewing to start the episode. Jesse likes. Jesse's kept it up. He likes it because he was going,

how do you look like that? He was really, he was really shredded. I remember him doing like pull-ups in the, in the jail scene in Cape Fear. It's like, again, that's where you catch a guy's little gay creeping out. It's just what it is. That he remembered his body. Because somebody's got to break it to Jesse that tangerines and plaster don't build muscle. That's very good point. That's what Jesse likes to do. Jesse says Jesse likes to throw a little tangerine, a little plaster, a little creatine into a shake. thinks he's going to get jacked on the stair mask.

It's not happening. Jesse rides his bike everywhere. Jesse likes to ride his bike. Jesse conducts his life like a Dutch woman. Because you came out with two six shooters today. It's just what it is because I'm on ketone IQ. I'm focused. So this is what we're doing now.

No, that's just, yeah, so that's how I'm getting around my sweets. I'm drinking a rocking chocolate protein rocket shake. This thing is called a rocking protein shake, and it's got 50s. grams of protein and it's 320 calories. So when we're doing our little math, remember we talked about this on our protein equations for building muscle. If you take the cow, if you take the protein content and you times it by 10, you get 500. If the calories are under that, that's a good meal for fat loss and building muscle. So this is 320 calories. So there's 180 calorie difference between 500 and 320. So this is a good food for fat loss and muscle building. I tuned out all that. It's what it is.

Because if you get tuned out, you're going to get tuned out. Because I'm not training for anything. Why do you always treat your health like you're training for something? It's just what it is. I need to feel like I'm training for something. I need to feel like I have a goal. Or what I'm going to do is walk onto the tap and see and jump off. Good way to do it, though.

That's very New York way to do it. Real cute. And the last things I ever see is the valleys and the Hudson River, where the Continental Army sailed down and defeated the British in 1776. Right. The German mind, I think, needs a goal, a solution, if you will. We need a solution, and so I obviously don't want

to hurt people. Yeah. So what I do is I'm going to hurt yourself. I get hurt myself, and if the only way to not hurt myself is I have to be training for imaginary things. Things that will never come to fruition. Because you were shoot out of a fucking fruity cannon today. It's just what it is because I'm ready to go. I'm fueled up on some rhubarb.

cherry pie that we got from HBO Macs that Jesse and I took one bite out of and said that we knew that it was freezer burned and we don't want to eat it so we gave it to fat fuck Chris Italia who's in the next room over who for him an entire rhubarb pie

is just a little snack for him it's a snack it's a snack it's not even the doesn't even come close to the amount of calories he's used to consuming for lunch in secret it's secret he said he didn't want to buy to the pie I say how about I shove it down your pants fat so That's what I love

The people who eat a lot is They always eat politely in public Yeah, but that's Hey, teach their own They eat the way men jerk off Right? You don't jerk off in public You do it in private And then you do it furiously

You do it in furiously Or you do it You go upstairs to the bedroom And say that you need to change your clothes It's really because your family's downstairs In the first floor But you're upstairs jerking off Yeah now we would call Nick a very quiet guy

Right He's very quiet He keeps his liberal rage contained. But can you imagine what he does to his penis in private? Yeah, really bad. He looks down and he goes, you can run, but you can't hide. Yeah, it's just what it is. Yeah.

And he just beats it. Yeah. He beats it. It's just what it is. He beats it. He's the kind of guy, I bet you he jerks off into his hat and then puts it on his head. So his hat sticks to his, he's got some bald spots up here. He doesn't want to show us.

He doesn't want to show us. That's right. It's really. Look at that. Yeah, yeah. So the only way to keep his hat on, he needs a little glue on it. He needs a little glue to keep it on. Nick, but you know, we've talked about this three weeks in a row now. Yeah. I think Nick's a really handsome guy and we got a girl who DM'd our history hanging his Instagram account that wants going to date with Nick. Yes. If you're that girl and you're listening to this, which you are, DM again, because I can't find your message. Identify yourself. Yeah. Because we really like to set this up and get this going with you and Nick.

Yeah, that would be really cool if Nick starts dating his girl. Because girls change guys. You ever notice that? Like a guy like Nick will be changed by a girl. 100%. Like next thing you know, Nick's coming in. You're like, whoa, why is the guy wearing a suit? Yeah, exactly.

And then Nick's coming in, he's going, you know what? Mom Dami's solutions, they're really short term. If you look at the data set in San Francisco, Portland, and even previous New York, we've tried rent freezes. And we go, Nick's dating some centrist pussy. Yeah, it's what it is. See, Nick, the first thing what she would do is obviously she would get rid of all his wrestling clothes. She wouldn't allow him to wear that. He'd have to come out in regular plain, like nice black canvas beautiful t-shirts with maybe not the cargo shorts.

She would lose a few of the pockets. But there would be the right woman. The right woman would make a compromise with Nick because Nick would, of course, say, listen, I'll wear what you want me to wear, babe. But can I at least keep a wrestling action figure in my pocket? And the right woman will allow you to do that. She will let you keep a Tatanka action figure in your pocket or in your bag. that you bring that has nothing in it. Right. So when he gets nervous, he can just take it out and fidget with it.

It's just what it is, because all Nick has is a notebook and one pen, but he's got a full book bag like he's fucking climbing the Andes Mountains. Yeah, what is, and his water bottle. Yeah, and what is in, and that's just when he gets a little cotton mouth from all the weedy smokes all day long. What it is? Nick only drinks water out of BPA-free containers. What is in the bag? You don't have to show, it's just tell us. Well, yeah, well, he's going to pull out a woman's head. Mix what we call a loner. Yeah, because you were shot out of a can today. I was shot out of a can today because I had a nice mix so far. I came in, I had a nice little workout.

Okay, I'm up to 15 strain on the whoop. I did my physical therapy. Then I had a little piece of rhubarb pie. I had a little yogurt. I had a little egg whites with sweet potatoes. Yeah. I had a espresso with coconut water. and now I'm having a rocking hot protein shake.

Rocking protein chocolate banana protein shake. Yeah. And so I feel good. I think I have enough calories in me right now. I'm excited because I'm going to go to the orthopedist. Then I'm going to go do my show. Then I'm going to go watch the World Cup game with my pops. You got a lot on your plate.

Yeah, I got a lot on my plate. Can somebody, we set it on the Patreon, can somebody make a meme or use AI and put Chrissy's full plate? Because I got so much on my plate. You're a plate spinner, cuz, and I'm a Greek. So what we do is we take those plates and we throw them at dancers' feet. It's what it is. What are we doing when we're happy for whatever reason?

We take the plates and we'll throw them at people. And you know why I'm really excited, because I just booked a family vacation to a little place, my favorite place on earth, Colonial Williamsburg. Are you going? We're going? We're going? How did you not contact me and my family and let me know? Because I want to go with you. Well, I did it out of spite because you sent me a picture of you and your family at a

a 1776 commemorative event and I got man you didn't invite me. So I said now I'm going to Williamsburg because you were out of Civil War, you were at a Revolutionary War reenactment? Yeah, and they took pictures with the kids Yeah, and I got real mad so I said, I'm going to One Up You and I'm going to Colonial Williamsburg and you're not coming. Well, guess what?

That means I'm going to Auschwitz. It's what it is coming. I'm going to Auschwitz without you. And don't, you can't go there without me. I'm going to Colonial Williams. I'll get you something from the gift shop. And then because we're going to Colonial Williamsburg. We got a four-night stay. We got a four-night stay. We got a four-night stay lined up in one of my favorite, the best hotel there is called the Williamsburg Lodge.

We got a four-night stay at the Williamsburg Lodge. We're going to do nights one and two. We walk around Colonial Williamsburg. We consume all the, you know, reenactment stuff they have. We just consume, consume, consume. Day three, we go to Bush Gardens theme park because we like theme parks. Then day four on the way out, we go to Yorktown Battlefield where the British surrendered to the United States. We sit on a beach there.

We get sandwiches and then we drive back home and then we make a little stop at the Pendry Hotel in Baltimore. It's about halfway. The kids love that hotel. We hit the pool there and then we get back home the next day. That actually sounds like a A-plus vacation for me. I'm not a guy who likes the casinos. I'm not a guy who likes Vegas. I'm a guy who likes a little something called cute scenery.

Cute scenery and we cute hunt. And you know what I've decided? Because I realize so much of my. life is trying to live somebody else's life or trying to figure all these things out. It's like, what do you like as their parent, as their father? It's like, why did I get into the Revolutionary War? Because my mom would take me there and I like it. It's interesting to me. Why am I trying to learn about all this stuff? I don't know, but I like to consume Revolutionary War history. So why not go to the Revolutionary War sites, Boston, Williamsburg, all that, and then maybe my kids

through Asmosis will start to like it too. Oh, they undoubtedly will. That's what I'm doing. Now your mother took you on crazy history tours all the time. That was her thing. She was like, we're going on a history tour, we're going to Amish country, we're getting butter. And you thought it was because she liked history, but it was really because there was an Amish guy that had the hots for your mom. That's what it is. And she thought he was cute. Yeah, my mom wanted to, my mom wanted to hook up with Amish guy.

He probably looked like Jeff Bridges with a beard. It's what it is. And then also, you know, as I look back in time, I realize that almost every single colonial American history trip corresponded with a member of the mafia calling my house because my father owed the money. So that's your life. That's also, here's also why. I think you're the one who figured this out.

You figured it out. Somebody figured out the other day is the reason why I moved so much is because the first six months of my life I was on the run. That wasn't me, but whoever did was a genius. It was a genius because the first six months of my life was spent in Lancaster, Pennsylvania because my dad owed the mafia some money, and they called the house and said that they were going to come collect or they were going to hurt my mother and me. So my mother took me on an Amtrak train, and we lived the first six months in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. So I was formed on the run And that is how I live my life today

My mother in my house is for sale That is interesting So that is going to also cause a little anxiety Oh big That's going to cause a little That's going to cause a little anxiety Your mom's a saint Your mom's a safe

She allowed him to hold the Leroy stick up for you Well like I said though What I said a big thing that's changed in my life Like we said on the Patreon I say to myself because my thoughts sometimes go towards tragedy, and I say, is this a tragedy or is this an inconvenience? And 99.9% it's an inconvenience.

So I treat it as such. I don't let my mind go into tragedy, which it often does. It's just an inconvenience. Like you said to me, can you bring, can I get you a cappuccino with oat milk, aka a doctor? And you said, can I get that for you?

And I said, no problem. And you said, I don't want to, you know, make you carry anything else. And I said, listen, a year ago, that might have been a tragedy in me. I might say, Why is he asked me to hold something that's two pounds? This is too much for me.

He needs to do it himself with his little head. But now I said it's just an inconvenience. And it wasn't even an inconvenience. I actually got to hold the coffee. I got to walk a little bit out in the sunshine. And I kind of stood around looking. I was at the same spot where I saw Kit Harrington last week. And I was just remembering where he sat and I went over very quietly.

And I asked a waiter for anybody. And you sniffed his seat. Exactly. That's what I was going to say. And I went sniffed the seat. And I went sniffed the seat. Did you sniff it? Because if you didn't, if you didn't target that seat for a sniff, then me and you were going

back to that same cafe and we're both taking half a sniff each. That seat was sniff. That was sniffed. And so I'm really excited. I think that's why I'm coming. I think that's why I'm shot out of the fruit canon today is because I'm really excited about Colonial Williamsburg and I'm really just excited about, you know, kind of making my life fit the current things that I enjoy doing, not trying to think of some abstract life that I want

to get to. Life is happening now. So you're, I think what it is is you're just one of those guys we call, um, where the toaster may still be going and the bread might be burning a little bit. Right. But you think the house is burning down. That's what it is. But it's just the toaster and you just got to take the bread out of the toaster. Yeah.

And it sounds like you're taking the bread out of the toaster. I'm taking the bread out of the toaster. And it's kind of what my wife has been saying to me, um, almost every day and it's finally starting to kick in is she always says, Chris, what's the problem? Right, there is no problem. There is no problem. Like, what's the problem? Right.

Right. Because in my head, there's always a problem, but there is no problem. There's no problem. So she was like, so it's kind of starting. I get it now. Because, you know, because my, you know, so now I'm starting to. You're used to problems, so therefore you create the problems. Because without the problems, you don't feel comfortable.

You feel like something's wrong because you're not used to it. So now I'm starting to feel comfortable in no problems. Right. Which is real nice. And the hope is that you get addicted to that. Yeah. Addict to the feeling of wanting. no problems. And it has, and it goes a little bit against my grain because I've been saying no

to so many career opportunities because I just don't want to go because I'm like, I don't really feel like I need to do this. I'm happy with what I got going on. And then you start to feel the sense of calm, but right now I'm still in the infancy of it where that sense of calm is feeling like a problem and stress, but that's not a problem. That's what you want to get addicted to. You got to learn to crawl before you can walk. That's what it is. And right now I'm crawling. Right now you're crawling. Yeah. You're crawling through to smoke. Right. You're crawling out. of the cave. The only problem right now is because it's at a high... You have to crawl because your Achilles tendon's falling off.

Exactly. And the only thing is I will tell you, I will tell you that because I'm just looking sometimes for shots of adrenaline that I will eventually find out of calm. Right now... Way song she is. I might just ask... Get a little rush. It's always... It's always... When the heat comes, it's always... We always said if it's over... It'll be 102 on Thursday. It doesn't mean it's going to happen. It just means it's an urge you have to resist.

Now, are you coming over to my Fourth of July party? Because I'm having one and we're... Which is the way you're supposed to... Because they did it to us first. And it's 250 years in this country. We've got to go, big. Somebody did it to Nick in retaliation. It's what it is.

Yeah. That's what it is. It's got no hair. Now, are you going to come over to my party big or what? I want you come over to my party. I'm coming over to your party big. Or are we going over to your house? I'm getting some.

One of us is going to be in each other's pool. I'm getting wet with you. Whose pool are we going into? Mine are yours. You want to get wet, right? I want to get wet. Yeah. Are you having a party for the night?

No, there's no party going on. I think I'm going to be out on the island. You're going to do the island? I think I'm being out of the island. Usually, Versi has a party, but he's not having a party this. He's not having his, he's not having a party. He's not having his famous. Wow, this got to be the first time in years.

Why is he not having it? First time in years. I think that he's going away. Wow, that's big for Paul. If you know, Paul Vergey's Fort's July parties are legendary. Yeah, he's got legendary parties, but it's not happening this year. That's interesting. We're going to be doing some family thing, but I may need to sneak off and hop into your pool.

Because hop to my pool, we're going to keep it real low-key. Yeah. We're going to have, so for us, obviously, low-key is about 90 people because Jasmine's family's going to come over. and I think 4th of July what I'll do is just like a fun 250 year American celebration is I'm going to call ICE and have them come over and get some of people out of my pool. Yeah, I mean that's a celebration right there. That's the way you celebrate the 250. Yeah.

Yeah, that's the way you celebrate it. That's the way you do it. Sometimes I'm sometimes, you know, sometimes I say to myself like, you know, what side of this am I on? because I've heard some rumblings about Puerto Rico not wanting to be part of the U.S. anymore. And on the one hand, it's like that hurts my family, but on the other hand, that really helps me. They weren't part of the U.S. anymore, because then I could...

Because right now, ICE can't do anything. They can't do anything. But eyes could come in real quick if they weren't part of the U.S. anymore. Yeah, they could actually come in and be a little handy to what could fix your situation. We could just fix... Yeah, we could just fix some issues. Yeah, that's right.

Does Puerto Rico... Is Puerto Rico trying to not be part of the United States? I don't know. Yeah. I just set something up for the... joke. Oh, that works. Okay. Puerto Rico, I love my family. We're going to have a nice Fourth of July. We're going to have everybody there. We're going to do a little barbecue. That's the thing where the house, you know, once you have a pool in a backyard, your,

you know, your family's house becomes the house. Like now that you've got the pool, your house is in the house. Well, what happens, people are going to come over to your house. Yeah, because that's how it goes. It always goes, whoever the person who is the most well off in the family of the friend group, the parties go there. That's what it is. That's just how it is, right? One of my boys were like, you know, can we come over to your house for Fourth of July. So what am I going to say, no? I could never say to Tim Dillon, hey, you want to come over to my apartment in Brooklyn and hang out. No, it's not, and it's never how it goes. And before you had the pool, people were like, you know, they like, your house is beautiful, but you just had the yard.

Now that you got the pool and the yacht, people are going to come over in the summer. Yeah, it's just, that's just how it goes. It's just how it goes. It's just the destination for about 300 or 400 people. It's just what it is, guys. It's just what it is. Yeah. Your house is just Hotel Sawan. It's what it is.

Well, my pool parties, it literally looks like there's a village in my pool. Right. Now, why does the United States treat Puerto Rico like a side piece? Right. It's almost like secretly texts. How come we don't commit to Puerto Rico and just bring them in? Because they're a bit of a headache. Way song she ain't.

So that's what it is. They're just a bit of a headache. Really fun. Yeah, fun but a headache. Small dose. Yeah, because you notice that they're like part of America, they're not part of America. No, they're part of America. It's almost like a girl who's going like, when are you going to leave your wife and commit to me?

Right. And it's like, no, you're the side piece. You're like, you are, but you're not. I'll see you when I want to see you. You're just really hot. I don't want to fuck you. Yeah, you're like you have citizenship, but you don't. You're not a state.

Like, it's really, we treat Puerto Rico like a gumma. Puerto Rico, though, I'll tell you, I've been multiple times. It really is a beautiful place. Yes. It really is. And you do kind of feel like you're just in an extent. of America. Yeah.

Feels that way. Haven't you been in Puerto Rico? No, I haven't been, but, well, I've been to New York. I mean, what's the dip? What it is? You've been in my house. You came to my wedding.

What's the diff? Right. What's the diff, really? It's what it is. Yeah. Your wedding just felt like me, Tommy Glucci, and a bunch of others

just were staying at a resort in San Juan. Yeah, it's just what it is. It felt like one side was cops. The other side was criminals. Ladd 14. That's really funny, because.

Kind of what it felt like, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's actually, yeah. That's actually Yeah, there was a lot of cops there. Tommy brought his walkie-talkie to the wedding. He did comedy.

Tommy was keeping an eye on things. Yeah. He was keeping an eye on things because he had some perps. He had some perps on the sea. Guys, look at this. GLD jewelry. Yanni and I got these GLD chains. We love them.

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It's really, really, really nice. Yeah, so check. And they'll make custom pieces for you. Ooh, that's one-of-a-kind pendants if you want a little iced out design exactly how you want it. Yeah, so here's what you got to do. You know, if you're in the jewelry like me and Chris E.R., you know, for limited time only, new customers are getting insane deals. All you got to do is use the code hyenas to get 40% off at glde.com.

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and Bank Corp Debt Flex card. Cash app, Green Features, Savings, Direct Deposit, Rounds Up. Overdraft coverage and discounts provided by Cash app, A Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. Now, yeah. I'm crying. Yeah, it was funny. Yeah, yeah, it was a very funny thing. I don't think that you'll find many people who when I was getting ready for my wedding in my, you know, groom's room, whatever, one of the family members, one of Johnson's family members, came over to me and, you know, brought me a drink, which is very nice of him. And he said, you know, today's a big

day for me. You know, I know it's your day. He goes, but it's a big day for me. It goes because it's my one-year anniversary of being sober and my 10-year anniversary of not being a Latin king. I said, okay. So he's a big day. He's just a big day. He goes, I've been 10 years out of Latin kicks and one year sober. I said, good.

Thank you. It's a big day. That is an actually, that is a really big day. But obviously, you know, just kidding. It's just jokes, beautiful family. But you're more than welcome. You guys are more than welcome to come to the house on the 4th of July for not doing anything.

It's going to be a hot one. Yeah. Now, I got a really good reason why you should join patreon.com slash history hyenas. Tell us. And this isn't even a pitch. This is just the reality. I have not tried to watch something on YouTube the way Jesse was saying. So I had no idea what he was talking about.

Okay. I don't know what Google's done, but you cannot watch anything long form on YouTube without at least 100 interruptions while you. Have you, I tried to watch a documentary on YouTube. it is the most annoying fucking what have when did that change happen it's almost like every two minutes Nate have you seen that too Nick that's a recent thing I've seen it but I also don't deal with it because I use the ad blockers you and use and YouTube premium blocks that out right if yeah but here's the thing they're going to make you pay for not having commercials but then just keep giving you commercials

anyway so just use the ad blockers what is the ad blocker it's just a quick extension that you just download onto your Google Chrome and then that's it I've never I haven't seen a commercial on YouTube in like 15 years. So when you watch a documentary, there's nothing. Nothing. Is the ad blocker free? Does Google allow that? Yeah, it's all free, man.

Everything's free, man. Everything's free if you know what to look for, baby. That's the way it works for us. How do I get an ad blocker? It's just on your extensions. I can show you right now. No, but there's got to be a cat. There's no catch. There's got to be.

You're going to have China spying on your phone. They're already spying on our phone. They know what I look like. That's a good point. They look through Nick's phone. They said nothing of national. interest here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the good thing about being me and you and having this show. We are of no interest to foreign interest. No, we're not going to be offered any dollars to espouse

any position. No. Because we are two wild cards that just can't be controlled. We're gay shot out of a cannon. We're tilted birds. Yeah, well, the only people I care about our show are our fans. So even if, even if somebody within our own American media cared about us and tried to make a story about us, we would just cop to everything that we said and our fans would, and we would just yell that the show's now on Patreon because of stupid ass, you know, CNN or whatever. Yeah. I mean, when Don Lemon stopped and interviewed me, I mean, I just said that I follow him on Grindr. And I called them.

So I just, I just think we're okay. Yeah. Because we're not going to ever, we haven't played pretend. We haven't, we haven't come on here and presented ourselves as a different version. of who we actually are. Yeah. We presented the real versions of ourselves. Yeah, because other podcasts, they really are interested in.

And influencers, they do take money. Right. I mean, Tucker Carlson has taken some money. He's buying a house in Qatar. Is he really? Yes, he is. Shoot this time of year. The kid has taken a couple dollars.

When you look about how he's switched on so many of his opinions, it all makes sense when you say the kid is taking a couple dollars from Qatar. I mean, because living in Qatar, Qatar looking like Tucker Carlson is a 10 out of 10. And I bet you Qatar offers real numbers. And I think the problem with Israel is that they are really Jewish about their offers. That's the problem. Seven grand a pop ain't nothing in this economy.

No, I need more than that. We're going to need more than seven grand of pop. But the thing is about YouTube, back to the point, is like you cannot watch our podcast. When people watch our podcasts on YouTube, it's probably unbearable for them. So just join Patreon where your ad free. uncensored. It's like you don't have to even deal with the ads we read. You deal with just the episode, the content. Patreon.com slash history hyenas where all the fun happens and we will, we put everything up there ad free and unedited unless you take a clip from something we said and you tag our wives

and ask our wives why we're talking about what we're talking about. Then you're a piece of shit. And then we're going to have to re-upload the episode. So don't do that. Don't do that. Don't be a little thing we coined on the Patreon called We're going to have a lot of taxes on this app And that's how you know it is a goody That's just what it is. We yeah, we came out strong Now we're going to talk you want to talk about

Richtown because you went to New Jersey And you walked around some nice rich towns and you texted me a couple of houses and you said do you want to go Halfskies? And I said yes But the truth is I already put offers in on them Well that's the point. That's the reason I just did the Patreon pitch

Because I want to go Halfseys with you. I want to move to Spring Lake New Jersey. Big. I mean, Spring Lake New Jersey is probably one of the best kept secrets. They don't want you to know about it. And I'm on the Patreon telling you about it. And it got me interested in something called the Irish Riviera.

Yeah. And then I started researching all these rich beach towns. Hampton's definitely number one. But Hamptons took the crown from Newport. Newport, Rhode Island. And then you got, of course, something called Breezy. point, which I wouldn't call it the Irish Riviera, I'd call it more

the Irish Canal. Yeah. It's just kind of a place... I would call it the Irish Gaza Strip. It's just a little bit more affordable than what they call the Irish Riviera, which is a little place called Spring Lake, which is still

demographically speaking, 40% Irish. You still see there's an Irish museum there, there's Irish shops, there's Irish flags. How did you find this place? Coming from Atlantic City. We were coming from Atlantic City. We're had time to kill until we went to the Godsmack concert You went straight from Atlantic City to Godsmack?

Yeah, I'm banged up. I had Burger King get two in the morning. That's a crazy thing. Did you know that that was going to happen? Yeah. Go right from Atlantic City to Godsmack? Yeah, my wife put on boots and she tried to look like a rocker, but I'm here to say she just looked like a mom who was trying to hold on. It's just what it is. So we

so I was like, we looked up places and I was like, I want a brunch. You know me. Yeah, you like brunch. A little tilted. Yeah. So I need a brunch. And then they gave me a suggestion. I looked at the pictures and I said, that's a diner. Yeah. I want an upscale brunch.

Brunch, I mean. Way song she ain't. So AI suggested, Grock suggested, I try a little place called, I think it was something berry. When you heard the word berry in it, that's nice. Nice, yeah. And I looked at the pictures. I said, that looks nice. That's it.

And she said to me, it's in Spring Lake, New Jersey. and when we drove up to 3rd Avenue, which is the main street of Spring Lake, New Jersey, I went full pewing, full pewing. I mean, it is as fucking cute and elegant as you can imagine. And I said, what is this place? And the first thing I did, and I started texting pictures to yourself, Tim Dillon.

And I said, have you heard of this place? Why don't you live here? This is the Irish Riviera. These are for Irish people who somehow figured out a way of not joining the police department. Yeah. That's you. Why aren't you walking around here in flip-flops with a polo shirt with sweat stains on it? Yeah.

And some sort of peach shorts. Did he- Did he know of this place? He had never heard of it. Wow. And then he started Googling and he found out that the median house sale house prices are four-milling up. Whoa. It's all mansions, wide streets, private tennis club, absolutely fucking cute. I don't know why.

The only thing I don't like about it is it's 95% white and 95% homeownership. That is bad. That's not okay. That is not okay. Free the rent. I mean, because the old and you said third avenue, which is that hits close to home because Third Avenue Bay Ridge, that's where you fell close home. And the only difference between Third Avenue Bay Ridge and Third Avenue Spring Lake is the amount of muslopes.

Yeah. Lattif I don't see many of them in Spring Lake, I would argue. Yeah. Right? Spring Lake is such a nice spot that because I believe you would be considered a minority there. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't know that I'd allowed to, I would probably not be legally allowed to enter with all of my family.

It would not happen. They would make an excuse about the house you were trying to buy. It would just, they'd keep coming up with another excuse. It's just what it is. They would say we have certain ordinances here. Oh, my God, there's a water main thing. We're about to knock this building down. Sorry.

Can you please just go about two or three townships over? That's what? Where you might be a little bit more comfortable. It might be able. People in a couple townships over are more comfortable with the word fiesta. Yeah, we don't. Okay. Chris, I know that you love this house, but I just want to tell you that, just so you know that it's not a 7-Eleven in this town.

It's just not there. Is that going to be a problem for you? There's not a 7-Eleven. You are not allowed to barbecue in the park in this town. Is that okay? Okay. I don't know if you can do that. Yes.

Yeah, we don't have a Western Union. Yeah. The thing is when you drive down ocean, I think it's called Ocean Drive, and you start, you can just drive through the towns by the ocean. They just change as you go. Right. They really change. And Spring Lake is the premier one, and it was called the,

Irish Riviera, and they don't know if it was this Martin something guy who was one of these original rich Irish dudes who built St. Catherine's there, and he built it, he built it to look like St. Peter's Basilica, and he dedicated to his daughter, Catherine. These are Catholic people Catholic people. Catholic people. They're Catholic Irish people. Now, okay, so, so, and Spring Lake, it's how far from Atlantic City? It's only about an hour plus? Oh, so you're closer to Manhattan. Yeah. Wow.

So people, theoretically... You could go here for the day from where you are, the general location. You could get there probably in an hour plus. So should we do a little spring lake day? I would love that. But again, I don't know how welcome you'd be. I just was looking around and I just didn't see any chains. I didn't see any tattoos.

I just didn't see any white trash. It's just... But how was the brunch? The brunch was exceptional. Would they allow me to put protein in my omnis? They would have protein shakes? Do they have protein shakes for my oatmeal? It's not really that type of Jersey Shore. I think you want to go, I think you want to go wherever they filmed the Jersey Shore. I think that's where you're welcome. You want to go to Belmont. You want to go to Belmont. Yeah. You're welcome in Belmont. Yeah. You're welcome in Belmont. Yeah. Was the berry place good? It was cute. It was really cute. Yeah. And of course it was owned by Greeks.

And the last thing you wanted to do after seeing this beautiful, heavenly town known as Spring Lake is go to a godsmack concert, right? Exactly. Is that one of the last things you wanted to do? do? That's one of the last things we're going into that concert, right? I was exhausted. How do you know these things? Because I just know, because I could just put myself in your shoes and I can make my head four times smaller and be inside your body is because you just did shows all weekend. And you know I strolled big. Strolled big. You're doing the, you know, dealing with the cigarette smoke and, you know, smell of, you know, cocoa butter in the drop cana and you were just dealing with it and then trying to get through and not eating the healthiest food and having to wear an N95 mask around your opener. And you felt, you know, you had a beautiful day.

You were, you were really charged up at Spring Lake walking around, strolling in the beautiful sunshine. And all you want to do is get home to your family and have your Tesla drive you home. Maybe you were a little bit banged up from the night before. And then, unfortunately, you had to go to a Godsmack concert, which you were probably saying, you know, to your wife, like, why couldn't you just do this with your friends? It was unbelievable to go from Spring Lake to a Godsmack concert. It's unbelievable.

The range. Right. The absolute range in humanity that we have just a mile away or whatever. Just when the scenery changes, the people change in such a drastic way. I can understand why the aliens don't land. Yeah. I just get it. They just go and like, what is the species?

And then for you, from where Jersey is, you probably had, what, a two hour drive home after that? Yeah. No, no, from the Godsmack concert, we talked, I was, I went back to the island. So it was really only an hour and change. Hour and change after Godsmack. After God's So it's not, okay, it's not terrible. Yeah. Because I love my chili pad. Do I love my chili pad by Sleep Me. I want to tell you about Chili Pad 2.0 by Sleep Me, the most advanced version of the bed cooling system built specifically for people who are tired of waking up hot and sweaty. I don't like it. I want you to be chilly in my pad. Yes. And here's the best part of just, works with your existing mattress.

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Well, I can never just get a wopper with cheese. I always got to get a wopper with cheese, and then I always get a little mini-mewopper. Yeah. I get two. Yeah, you got a squeak wopper. I got a squeak wacker on the side. I can't just get one whopper.

Did you eat the fries too? And I convinced myself I'm not getting fries, so that's the healthier choice. But then I need the mini-woper. I need a little backup. The wopper needs a little backup. So you got a wopper? You got a mini-wopper? What else did you get?

That's all I got. I need to get a soda or anything like that? No, no. I never, I saved the calories. I don't drink soda anymore. I haven't drank water. I drink water. Wow.

And you eat it in the car? We ate it in the car. We ate it in the car. We just had a little picnic in the Tesla. And what's your wife gets? Because women, they probably just got a little junior whopper. He tried to get a wopper, just a plain wopper with nothing on it. And it was two in the morning.

And the people who work at a Burger King at one or two in the morning, they're not going to do it. They don't understand your requests to specialize your wopper. You just get whatever comes out of the microwave and gets wrapped up. She was upset and she just had to pick condiments off her wopper one at one. Well, she was cursing at these good for nothing. Yeah, it's just what it is. But yeah, that was so, so you had a very fun weekend.

You're exhausted, but you showed up here today to do the show for the people. You did the show. Now I ask you, do you want to do a spot on my 6 o'clock show at the Village Underground? I don't want to be there. I really don't, which is wild because I'm still passionate about this career, but I'm passionate about not doing it. Right. I don't want to do it. But are you going to get your roof clean today?

I may get my roof clean today. I don't know. But here's the funny thing. I know that you're going to go look for sneakers. I always do that. You always want to go look for sneakers. I'm always on the hunt. And you always say, oh, let's take a look in this store.

And I always have to tell me, Yanni, we just went in that store yesterday. I have a little problem. You have a little problem. I do like a little. I've been, by the way, you know what I've been doing? And it's actually, again, to each their own, I've been decluttering my house, like decluttering room by room. And it feels good to have less.

Yeah. Even taking my kids toys and things that we know they haven't played with in a long time, just got rid of them, gave them to kids who need them. and they got upset for like five minutes, their life is over five minutes, and they haven't talked about the toy in a week. And I've been decluttering. I got rid of like 90% of my sneakers,

and I'm telling you, because decluttering feels good. Feels real good. It's always like we have it so good in this country. We buy so much stuff. You don't realize you're like, oh, I got a deal on this thing, but this is something you're going to throw out and you're going to have to pay to throw out.

You don't need it. I had to get a dumpster in my house just to throw out half the shit, half the toys that my mother-in-law buys these kids. I mean, these kids, if you came to my house, it would look like we were running a preschool. They have too many toys. When I was a kid, I had to steal a 20 out of my dad's pocket to go buy WWF figures.

Yeah. And that's all I had was like three or four. I don't even know if I ever got the iron cheek. It's what it is, guys. I mean, we only had enough WWF action figures to fit in our ass. That's all we had. Which is for me, I got a tight ass, so it was only one at a time. Mine's deeper, so I was able to get three or four up there.

Yeah. Well, I used to put a G. Joe and run around with it. It's just what it is. And he used to hang out there. It was called G.I. Joe Rodeo and I had fun doing it. Now, I'm telling you being happier with less. I've been really into it lately. And jazz at first was, I was annoying her with it, like whatever, because I was saying like, oh, we got to do this, do that. We got to tidy up. We got to clean this, clean that. And then I started finally saying, what do people do? Lead by example. So I said, you know what I'm going to do? I'm not going to do anything. I'm just going to control my space.

My space. I decluttered my half of the closet. I decluttered my side of the the bed, I decluttered my things, and then after about three days, Jazz was noticing how much easier it was for me to get my clothes to look to things, and then she started decluttering. And now she told me today that she was in one of our daughter's room, decluttering her room. And then little by little, if you go a month or two, if you just do one room a week, after about six, seven weeks, your house is going to be, you're going to have, you're going to feel amazing. Now, how much time did you spend throwing away empty Sprite bottles with Newport butts in it?

That was majority of the things that we threw away. And I would find one chunk letta, and then I couldn't find one that matches, so I would just throw them away. Yeah. Sounds like somebody's been reading the 12-step program. You're cleaning your side of the street. I'm cleaning my side of the street. That's what I can control. That's what you chose you just cleaned your side of the street.

Well, because you realize, you realize, you know, you get married, and then you realize, you know, there's a sense of permanence there. So you say either you can learn about decluttering and you can learn about cleaning up your side of the street. Or, because how many days in a room? can you fall asleep with the gun in your mouth and not pull the trigger? One of those days your finger's going to slip and you're going to end it all, so try not to do that. So pick up a book and read about to clutter it. Because you got an odd pattern of addictions. Sweets, houses, chaos.

Have you ever tried just going on smack? I think your life might be a little easier. Because I'm going on God's smack. If you were just actually addicted to, Do smack. That's all I do is I do smack. If you just smack, maybe all these other things would be a little more stable because your addiction would be an actual drug. Yeah, it's what it is, right?

I should do that. Yeah, yeah. Do a little smack. Because you've ciphered through a few addictions that aren't really typical addictions. Well, my father has been staying with me through the last week, and I actually did say to myself the other day, I said, I wonder what it would feel like to take some of my dad's pills. Because my dad, my dad's one of those guys. He's got the, he's got the collection. of pills. He's got, he's got pills

in them every day, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and he just lets them rip. Yeah. So I went to throw on my dad's compression socks and take some of his pills. Yeah. There is a stage of life, probably the last decade or so, where you just always walk around with an organized draw of pills.

My dad's got that. Yeah. He's got a lot of pills. He's at that stage. Yeah. So the funny thing is that Spring Lake... Because your voice is a little raspy, I think you come down with a cold, and I just want to let you know, I'm getting a little point. You like the Rasp.

I like a Rasp voice, guy. I think that's because I was screaming at the Godsmack concert going, fuck yeah. Fuck yeah, loud. Do you know any of their songs? No. Brittany knew them all. Brittany knew them all. Yeah, it's funny.

I don't know any of their songs, but I will say Sully's very talented. A talented kid. He's a talented kid. And the Stone Temple Pilots opened, which is an amazing band. Yeah, they were great. And then his girlfriend, Tiffany, or no, Dorothy opened. opened and she's got her band and it was great. I'm becoming a rock and roll guy.

I want to be a middle-aged rock and roll guy. I want to go see Bon Jovi concert cover band. I want to go to a Bon Jovi concert. It's not the way I grew up. I grew up listening to rap music. The white world is foreign to me. So how long was the concert? What time did you guys get there? Way too long.

Seven o'clock? We got there seven o'clock because my wife was so excited to go because she likes that particular band. And what needs to be on time? She needs to be on time. And she likes to be on time. Right. So we went there. I mean, it's really like four hours, dude. I mean,

Stone Temple Pilots and them, they did like hour sets each. She did like a half hour. Were you like waiting for the show to end? I was tired. You're tired. You're standing and you're... Because you have to stand.

You can't sit in your seat in the Godsmack concert. You can't sit in your seat. But some of those people who were there could not stand up. They couldn't stand. So that helped too. Because when I sat that,

everyone just thought I was one of the other disabled people at the show. Yeah. There was a lot of people who brought their own seats to the concert. It's what it is. Yeah. Some people, because they can't fit in the regulation seats. Some people, you go, it's that rude?

They're not standing for the national land. And they go, no, they just can't stand. They can't stand. Some people can't stand. They were motorized around. They travel. They got their own cars. Yeah.

They got their own people cars. There's a lot of people cars I saw there. Just what it is. So it was wild to go from like the absolute height of wealth. Yeah. To a Godsmack concert. Right. It was not that.

Right. It was the opposite of that. And it just shows you that. that there are two Americas, but there's much more of one and much less of the other. That's what it is, yeah. There's not many places, I think, like that left. You know, like Newport, Rhode Island at one point was like that. Right.

And those places are funny because they try to keep people out. Right. And then God's Madsamax trying to get, let everyone in. Yeah. Yeah. So it's just totally different. Right. It's totally different.

But it's funny how these shorts are too short. They're too short. And my legs are white, right? So white, dude. I'm white. Yeah, the upper thigh is gross. And you know what I said the other day, which is crazy that I said this in public? I was at F-45 class.

Yeah. And one of the trainers who I don't know what she was. Maybe she's like dark-skinned Italian or white. But she goes, she goes, oh my God, your legs are so white. And I said, that's the way I want them. You like them white. Yeah, because I said, I want to make them even whiter. You want to be whiter.

Yeah, when people say that, oh, you're so white, I say, yeah, that's because I was chosen and you were it. Ways aren't. This makes me a little mad. All I can think about But my legs are white and disgusting, right? What I can think about when I see that leg is there are guys who are attracted to other guys who like that leg and that's funny to me. That guy is really funny. What about the guy whose feet who we had on the feet?

He would twinkle his toes. He likes it. Somebody who's actually sexually attracted to that image. Somebody's jerking off to this right now, right? Yeah, somebody likes that. That's funny, right? If you think about it, I get my leg up pretty high. It's really funny.

Yeah, because you got pasty male legs. They're bad, right? And I don't shave them. They're just hairless. You're kind of like Asian that way. I'm a hair. Yeah. Are a lot of Germans hairless?

I don't know. They're kind of legs that are like a sphinx cat. I guess something to do with my Uncle Russell. It's right. That's what it's got to be, because that's what it has to be. Yeah, my shorts are too short. And jazz said my shorts were too short when I was leaving. She was like, are you wearing my shorts?

Yeah. And I just left the house anyway. And I said, I want to just wear a short shirt. Well, at least you coordinated your new, your new balanced socks with your new balanced shoes. And my new balance shorts. Yeah. You can tell when a guy is entering middle age, the more new balance products, because they're podiatrist approved.

They're just comfy wumpy. They're just comfy wumpy, and they're actually podiatrist approved. And the reason why I have to wear mostly new balance is because I've gotten rid of all the rest of my shoes. Can we just throw away too many shoes? Can we be honest? Like, we all are one. We are the same, but we do have differences.

and a lot of times though differences show up in the way we buy and the shoes we wear. Yeah, right? White people, they go to the store, they put the shoe on, they try it on, then they take a lap around the store to see what kind of comfort we're dealing with. Right.

How, you know, I'm going to use these to mountain climb. I'm going to use, I need comfort. I need, it's got to be efficacious. It's got to be ergonomically correct on my foot. Right. And black people go in and just say, I need those Jordans, and they say those are $700

and they say I'm a size 10 and then they say we don't have a size 10 we only got a size 8 and then the black guy goes cut off my toes I'm buying this It's what it is. Yeah it's just what it is right?

It's what it is and it's just different And we're all just different But we all at the end of the day are bees in the same hive We're bees in the same life But we're just bees wearing different shoes We're bees wearing different shoes That's what it is

And in Spring Lake you see a lot of leather you see a lot of leather sandals. In a place like Spring Lake, you see a lot of the shoes are, they have a lot of support, and a lot of the sizes are a size 11, a size 12 wide. Right. They do that. They have that. In other communities, they don't do a size wide.

No. This they do. Yeah, they don't seek specifications that are tailored to the foot. Now, everything's off the rack in Belmar. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's off the rack. But here, things are fitted.

things are tailored. Yeah. Now, cause, let me ask you this, is your everything settled with your pool now? Is your pool good? Have you guys been taking dips in? Settled, except for the fact that we're getting a little mud runoff through the wall. So I haven't given that final payment yet. And again, is this the main episode.

This is the Patreon episode. I mean, this is the main episode. Sorry about that. Yes. So I'm very happy with the pool. Yeah, yeah. Okay. And there's just a little mud runoff.

And that happens. It happens. It happens a little bit. Yeah. And we'll see. Hello to the people listening to the show who made my pool. Yeah. Great.

And we're all accepting of a little mud runoff. Yeah, but it's not supposed to be that way. So fix it. Yeah. Doesn't run into the pool, you're saying? No, it just, he's aware. Right. He's aware.

So it's just, yeah, it's coming through the wall a little bit. It's not supposed to be doing that. Yeah. So we're going to fix that. It's just one of those things where it's like, if you were wondering why the last payment has to come back, I just want to make sure everything works. Everything works. Everything works.

And I don't know, maybe it could just. be because the specifications weren't measured properly? I don't know. But there is a little mud runoff and I'm not... It's coming through the wall when it rained. It's not supposed to come through the retaining wall. That's all, that's just kind of the point of a wall is to stop those things.

That's what we stop. But as we know, walls don't always work. Yeah, the right. It just don't always... When you, sometimes they find a way to get over the wall. It's what it is. And if you need any, uh, if you need any proof of that, just come to one of my pool parties. And you've seen some of them got over the wall.

You think of how funny that when you built that great wall of China and then it just didn't work that was a lot of effort what they forgot about is you can't build a wall into the water

so you could just go right around a wall right around the wall and especially in China I mean building the wall you're keeping people out but how the hell am I supposed to know who's supposed to be

on what side of the wall that's always a problem right I mean come on guys in that part of the world it's very easy to infiltrate I mean what the hell is between the Ming and the Bing dynasty

it's not a problem It just sounds like one letter. I mean, that's all it sounds like to me. So, I mean, let's be honest, guy. Una Fesa, an rasa. What side of the war are you supposed to be on? Yeah, I mean, it's just everyone looks the same. Guys.

Yeah. Can we just separate the world into India, China, Spanish? Right. Right? India, China, Spanish. Can we just make it, how would we make it easier? The way you three hyenas would do it. One side of the world's India.

One side of the world's Spanish. one side of the world's Africa, one side of the world's white. That's it. That's all you got to do. If everyone retreated back to their home base. That's what it is. Are you in the white part, the Spanish part, the Indian Chinese part, the black part? That's all.

We're kidding. We can't. We're joking around. Speaking of walls, what side of the wall are you on? The good guys are on the patreon.com slash history hyena side, where we read out the newest members of the matriarchy every single week. We give points

for the funniest name. The funniest name wins the PPW, the pseudopinets for the week. We encourage you guys to make funny names. We thank you so much for your support. Here we go. I'm going to read out

the newest members of the matriarchy. This is always very, very fun. Probably our most fun part of the show. Yonis just spit on the floor. I got a little runoff from my zen in my mouth. It means I had it in too long. So we got Chrissy's fart

while watching men's Olympic swimming, a stiff wind. Edward, Hayden White, Trent, X, Jesus, Pisadio, the big gulp you get behind 7-Eleven, it's what it is. Okay, kids get a blowjob. The big goal that you get behind 7-11. That's a chicken finger. Not famous Colin.

Young Chrissy D got his chimney swept in the night. Only rape kit we need is he sleeps with the TV on and the light. I don't get it. One for something. Okay. Went for something there. Sawyer Eglson, Georgio DeBoward. Jimmy Jizz wizard

Chicken finger Jalison Joel Lopez Purse Murphy Vegan from El Paso Call me the lone star Whoops Lad of 14

Okay Remove some ribs And bought a Tesla Now I can't stop Getting Roadhead Acapella Okay Remove some ribs Move some ribs and bought a Tesla

Now I can't stop getting Roadhead Acapella What So he removed his ribs So he can suck his own dick and the Tesla drives him. Oh, that's so good that we didn't even get it. Right.

You get a Drexler for that. Right. For the creativity. Kosher ham candle. Call it a frisbee meat menorah. It's really good. Drexler. Brennan Wright.

Zazu. Matt Lyndon, Jake, Oliver Robson, Chrissy's leaky balloon knot. What's a balloon knot again? Your asshole. That's an ass? Yeah. So it's a chicken finger.

Seth Evans. Mike, Josh Pagano, meat, Ninja, please, Sean Donovan, silent guy, Connor, Tane Cantrell, Fagos, you're no one eunuch. Okay. Oh, Fagos, you're number one unit. Oh, Fagos, you're number one. Yeah, Fagos is a funny way to, because his name was Bagos, wasn't it? Yeah, I remember.

Bobby DeCini, making Toots fight for my money, call me Mr. Yeast. Maddie son, Dave. David Jacobson, G.S.R. 21. Kim Forthin. Hugo Provosto. Ham Stroker's ejacula. That's really good. Yeah. I'm going to put that on the list. This is the one's the longest we've ever went without it getting... Yeah, that one's really funny. Ejacula is funny. Yeah. Got a couple of guys competing to do my taxes, call it Ultimate Frisbee. Put them on the list. And two contenders back to back. It's just so funny the way it happens.

Yeah. Cute kid who gets nervy after he uses his glue gun. Mm-hmm. Chrissy's got that dog in him, call him the golden receiver. Put him on the list. Yeah, that's what it is. They got muzzies working at the hospital, call it a staff infection. Put them on the list. It's just...

But it's too good. Staff infection, they're working at the hospital. It's too good. Okay. We're going to leave it for now. All right. Yeah. It's a borderline, but it's too good.

excuse me Mr. Nome, you can't bring those sweater bombs on the plane. Put them on the list. That's true what it is. Dude, this was a dry list that it just took off. That's what happens. That's what you have to continuously listen. Absolutely. New York Knicks, more like New York Dings.

We can't do anything with your work. We can't do anything with your work. Yeah. Jesus, Jesus, shrouded cockprint turned me Catholic. Drekson. Should I put that on or Dresc? I think it's sacrilegious. Yeah, okay. Hunter Johnson.

Jamie Hadegh, Trevor Zellerman, Sean, Sam, Dutch oven, my frisbee girlfriend, called... All right, we can't. Yeah. The last thing Caesar saw was Yonis Parallel Parking? Don't get it. What's he... I don't know. What's he getting at there?

I don't know. Last thing he saw was Yonis Parallel Park. I don't get it. I don't get it. A D.L on Grindr making Twinkies. Benjamin Bates, moderate to severe. It's just funny. Chick a finger, because it's just funny, random.

Flung off a cliff in Brazil like an Amazon Frisbee. Okay. Hoss has heartburn. Michelle Obama's confetti cannon. Off the Franks and beams. Off the Franks and beams. I like that. That's a chicken finger.

Of note. Very creative. I'm a transcontinental railroad, so run a train on me. Drexler. Okay. I en Kampf, a Yanni manifesto. I-In-Conf. Okay, like I-N.

All right. They spelled it E-Y-E. I don't know. Oh. Yeah. Good try. Out of the pleasure crevice into the stench trench.

A list it. Yeah? Stench trench, you like that? Yeah. Into the crever. Yeah, that's really good. Crushing Chinese peptides, call me Ji Jing Pyong.

Okay. John B. Logan H. Off the beam, I'll take Timmy D's Pien for some green. Put him on the list. It's just what it is. He wants to get paid to get piped.

Yeah. Tyler Baskin, Chris Yetzzo, Nathan Andrews, Muzzy Fumes, Christian Views, Christian Man Rubia, banged out a Cush girl, now my baby got a bird face. Oh, Jesus. Can't do anything with that.

Okay. The one is really funny, too. The Muslim view. Muzzy fumes Christian views. Probably means he's a Semitic kid who's Christian from like Syria or Libya or something. That's very funny. Ivanka's thong

Caesar They call my sphincter The Action Figure Guillotine Put them on the fucking list Yeah Take out the catapult It's also coincidentally We made a joke about that on the podcast

Yeah it's just it happens that way It's so weird when that happens You know what's funny When this list started I saw it I saw it like the pages And I went What if we don't

I was actually thinking Like what if we don't have one And then they just exploded It's just what happens My favorite resembles a frisbee named him Robbie Roddenstein. Okay. Dan Matanis. Chicken nuggets with a hard R.

Okay. Hunter, I shit in my hands and clap. Directly. All right. Kids special needs. Yeah, now the list is, it's unfortunate. Cameron, Colin Schemeck, AJ Dakata. Kevin straight to the back.

Thank you, Kevin. Celebrating Juneteenth on the 20th. because Leroy's are always late. Latter 14. Drexler. Helen Keller's sex ed teacher. Jesus. Jesus Christ.

It's fucked up. What do we do with that? What do you do? Way song she ain't. It's too fucked up? Yeah. Good one though. Yeah.

And then Chrissy's French executioner. And then we got Stephen Strong, Kyle Masterbates, James Hogan, Anthony Savage, Dallas Buckner. I like Kyle Masturbates. Present tense. Yeah. I like that. Present tense. All right, so here is the list.

It started off real slow. We thought we weren't going to get anything, but then some bangers started coming out of just nowhere. It's just when it rains it pours. So we got ham strokers ejacula. Keep it around. So good. We're going to keep it around.

Got a couple of guys competing to do my taxes, called Ultimate Frisbee. We got to keep that around. Jesus Christ. Chrissy's got that dog in him calling the golden receiver. Okay, we can chicken finger that. Okay. They got Muzzies working in the hospital,

call it a staff infection. We're going to, you know, We're going to honor your work, but we're going to say you walked into one. So they're on the walked into one list for the year. Yes. Then we got, excuse me, Mr. Noam, you can't bring those sweater bombs on the plane? It's just unfortunate. It's just funny, but it's kind of old news, right?

Yeah. Really good, though. Then we got out of the pleasure crevice into the stench trench trench. Really good. Unfortunately. Not going to make it. It's a Drexler. Off the beam, I'll take Timmy D's peen for some green.

That's really good. Right. But we're going to, we're going to direct. It's not going to make it. Yeah. They call my sphincter the action figure guillotine. We got to keep that one around. Yeah.

So we do have three. Yeah, like I say, I always say, I'm pretty sure we do this right. Hamstroker's ejacula. Got a couple of guys competing to do my taxes called Ultimate Frisbee, or they call my sphincter the action figure guillotine. Okay. We're going to take the first one. It's Nick's favorite. He laughed every time it came up.

But I just don't think it has the meat that the other two have. What do you think? Would you agree? Yeah. Yeah. All right. Nick agrees. Yeah.

Hamstrokers ejacula's out. It's really good, though. So it's between got a couple of guys competing to do my tactics, called it Ultimate Frisbee, or they call my sphincter the action figure guillotine. Well, we're in a very, very, very predictable and common dilemma. Right. It seems to be we're always choosing between a really good gay joke or a Jew joke. Yeah.

It just seems to be where we land. That's what the podcast has is what it is. Is it a gay joke or a ju-jo? We have not, we have been in this situation many times before. So it's really which way you want to go. Jesse? Because they're equally funny. What do you think, Jess?

My vote is for Frisbee. That's the best worded Frisbee joke I've heard so far, so I'm going frisbee. And there's a lot of them. And there's a lot of them. Do you agree? Yeah, I like Ultimate Frisbee. But listen, I mean, we're talking about the way he phrased putting a G. A. Joe figure in his asshole as his call his asses a joke.

it's a guillotine because he's putting the head in. So you're a vote is guillotine? It's just, I think my vote is guillotine. Yeah, I'm going to go to guillotine. So it's come down to me again. It's come down to you again and we're putting more on your plate. I mean, I got too much on my plate. I mean, guy, because I think I got to go with guillotine.

Me too. So that's a tie. It's a tie. So then we're going to have to do, we're going to have to go to Patreon. Yeah, we just got to go. We'll make the list. We're going to, we hate to do this, but the fans get involved. And this is honestly, we feel the fairest way to do it.

When we can't decide, we ask the fans and we will read out who the winner is next week, who the fan boat is. It is between got a couple of guys competing to do my taxes called Ultimate Frisbee. Really good. Or they call my sphincter the action figure game. They're both equally good. So it's up to you guys. You tell us who it is. Patreon.com slash history.

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