History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - Craving Kit Harrington | History Hyenas
Episode Date: June 25, 2026This week on History Hyenas, the boys tackle the most important historical event of 2026: Chris' wedding. From planning the big day to debating what makes a perfect wedding, Yannis and Chris break dow...n the chaos, traditions, and inevitable family drama. Chris also recounts a chance encounter with Game of Thrones star Kit Harington that left him questioning his own attractiveness. Was it admiration, intimidation, or both? Plus, the Hyenas explore the deep connection Greeks and Italians have to food, family, and community. Why do some of life's biggest moments happen around a dinner table? The boys discuss how meals become the centerpiece of celebrations, weddings, holidays, and everyday life—and why breaking bread together remains one of the strongest bonds in any culture. Wedding planning, celebrity encounters, and a deep dive into the social power of food—it's a classic Hyenas episode. #HistoryHyenas #ChrisDistefano #YannisPappas #KitHarington #GameOfThrones #GreekCulture #ItalianCulture #FoodAndFamily #ComedyPodcast Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas/ Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit.ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0 Hyenas Merch!!! https://store.historyhyenaspod.com Follow us Cuz! 🙆🏻♂️ Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ 🙆🏼♂️ Chris Distefano Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ 🐕More Hyenas Website: www.historyhyenasisback.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/historyhyenas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HistoryHyenas Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/historyhyenaspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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What's up, everybody? We got a great episode for you today. We just went wild.
Chrissy got married two days ago. We also continue that conversation at patreon.com slash history
hyenas where we tell some wild fun stories. See me in Atlantic City this weekend. Also,
East Hampton, Austin, wherever else I'm going to be, Janus Pappas Comedy.com.
All right. Yeah. And you could see me at July 10th and 11, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, August 21st, 22nd.
Portland, Maine, Christycomedycom.
I got a bunch of more dates up there
as we get into the fall and winter.
Enjoy this episode
and enjoy hearing about my wedding.
Right.
You know?
Which band?
Some fucking, like, rock, heavy metal band.
She's like, do you want to go?
She goes, do you want to go?
Who is stank?
And I was like, don't ask me that question.
I don't like a.
I don't want to see that band.
No, I never wanted to see that.
And then she gets mad at for that.
And I said, I want to go for you.
If you want to go, I'll go.
And she's like,
and I'm just, just get the fucking
tickets and then I'm out another 500
Smite. It's like, it is what it is.
It's what it is. But then they raise your kids
and they do other shit. Right. So it's like, what can you do?
We're here to eat shit.
It's what it is. We're here to heat
shit. So that's what it is when the episode
has started. No, we can't
put it out. Now? No.
I mean, Jesse hit the clock.
If Jesse hits the clock, we
have begun. And it's nice
to not, we're going to go flowing again.
We're going to get into some history. We don't
know what the topic is, but we're going to figure it out on
the fly. I've been holding in a shift for 30 minutes, so it's nice to be playing for something.
I'm playing for something. I've also took a ketone IQ shot, so my brain is locked in on your
tiny little head, on your tiny little, your head, it's like a bulb of a flower.
You know what I like? The thing about you that's fun is there's always something to play for
because you have what they call a, in the old neighborhood, they call it a woman's bladder.
That's what it is. You pee like 10 times.
an hour. Yeah, I got a woman's bladder, because, and I'm telling you about this, I'm telling you
right now, because I'm coming in. First of all, Chrissy Eris, is at it again? Remember how I was
talking about peptides? Well, I've been offing for the last five weeks over. Not a shock to me.
I did 12 weeks of peptides. What are we on now? So now I'm on five weeks off, but so what I'm
thinking about doing is because I was on these illegal ones called Redder Trude type, but what I'm
thinking about doing, I was talking to my stepmother, and she's on Zepbound, which
She's the one Shaquille O'Oper Winfair on, and she's telling me she's done good results.
So I got an appointment tomorrow.
I think I'm going to go back to an old school GLP1 and do a little thing called Zepbound
or Rowe, the one that Serena Williams takes.
And I'm going to get right back in the saddle on Peppies.
But this time I'm going through a, it's basically fat people medicine.
That's what I'm taking.
You know what I love about you, because you know what makes you fun?
Tell me.
You seek solutions where there are no problems.
That's what it is.
And that's what I like about you.
That's a good way to say.
Yeah.
You seek solutions where.
are no problem.
Yeah.
Physically, you look great.
No, but I don't feel good
and I want to feel good like my stepmom.
Yeah, I'm going to go on the weight loss drug of Charles Barkley.
Guys, I just got a question.
Does your stepmom go to super cuts?
Yes, she does.
That's number seven.
Guys, I like that.
You forgot, make absolutely no mistake.
You forgot to put on a shirt today.
You're wearing an undershirt.
I wear it on the shirt.
You're wearing an undershirt out here.
You should have put a shirt on over that, but you said, no.
No, no.
I got an undershirt on today.
I came out, yeah.
You know, I, today I look like a French guy in the 1700s that was woken up in the middle of the night.
And I'm just coming out in my nightgown.
Yeah.
I'm in a nightgown today.
You're in a nightgown today.
You're in a nightgown.
And Nick is in his shirt that says Cocoa Pups.
Nick has a shirt on that says Coco Pups.
He's a grown man.
He's got a Coco Puff shirt on in cargo shorts.
Yeah.
Nate, I mean, Nick is just in a happy place because Nate Bargatsi's going down.
Oh, yeah.
Is he not a Nate fan?
Nate is just, Nate was photographed somewhere.
He should have been photographed.
Oh, at the UFC?
Oh, who can't?
I know, no, I don't know.
People really care.
Yeah.
Oh, yes, because of Trump.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nick is not a Donald Trump supporter.
You cannot enjoy a UFC match if you're in the presence of Donald Trump.
Yeah.
Oh, yes.
It's just everywhere.
That's just photo.
Shut up with the fascist.
Oh my God.
Whatever, dude.
Because, you know, it's funny?
I got a fucking ring on.
Yeah.
The funny thing is,
if this was even like a big something,
I don't have enough room in my life to care about it.
No, because you've got a tiny head.
You only got a certain amount of room in that skull.
Yeah, and right now it's being,
it's full of a shroud of Turin.
It's what it is.
I can only do one thing at a time.
I got room for one thing at a time.
Maybe that's why you got 100 things going on
because you got room for 100 things.
I got too many things in my head.
You know what I've noticed, too,
about getting off gLP ones and I'm excited to get back on them is I've been drinking too much
coffee when I got off these gLP ones all my coffee cravings came back when I'm on gLP ones
I only drink about one or two coffees a day but it is right now to 10 p.m. And I've already
had six. What I love about to crave. I'm a craver because I crave things. And that's what
the gulp ones help me with. I don't I don't crave as much. But right now I've been five weeks off
but I'm craving.
I got a...
You like to crave, right?
I like to crave.
You like to seek and crave.
I like to crave.
You like...
Big.
You don't even like to hunt.
You like to crave.
Bad ass to tell you.
He needs...
Why the fuck are we not putting GLP ones to the vents in here?
How do we get it in his body?
I don't know.
I think we got to hold him down and just stick it in them.
Jesus Christ.
I think that's the only way.
Because what do you crave?
I just...
I just...
I just can't get over.
I'm still caught at the Cocoa Puff shirt.
It really made me laugh.
You just noticed now.
We've been sitting with Nick for two hours.
I don't usually look at people's fashion, and he's got a Cocoop shirt.
And he says, I'm cuckoo for cocoa pops.
Yeah, it's just very funny.
It's a very funny thing.
It's what we call a snap benefits purchase.
Yeah, and it just, you know, it's just very funny.
And he also has, like, every color of Old Navy cargo shorts.
I mean, the kid went to Old Navy, and he did the whole rack in every color.
Because when I take a look at Nick, I know one thing for sure.
He has an old Navy credit card.
He's got...
He's no way he doesn't.
He gave his phone number that first time for that 10% discount.
And from now on, it's that old Navy credit card that he's constantly behind on.
It's just what it is.
And he's got a Chrissy Chaos hat on, Fireman's hat, which I appreciate.
And if you guys want to see me, go to Christycomedy.com.
At helium comedy club, July 10th and 11th.
I'm mentioning it early on the show because I just got an email from the promoter.
asking me to come in early to do press, so that's not a good sign.
And I will be in Atlantic City this weekend, which I barely mentioned.
And I too also would probably have to go to do press or hand out flyers before the show.
It's what it is.
Now you're doing that Atlantic City Comedy Club, which I was supposed to be at the end of August,
but I was told by the owner that yours is the last weekend and then they're closing the club down.
And that is a truthy worth of it.
That is a truthy worth it.
I got an email saying no shows that been canceled because the club is a closing.
So that might have something to do it
and they might not be putting that much effort into it.
So you are the final weekend of the AC Comedy Club, or one of them.
You just never know with Amelia.
You give it and he takes it away.
But it's very funny and I kind of like living in that lane.
And it's what it is, folks.
Now you listen to me and you listen to me good.
Kay K. Kraver.
You listen to me good.
I'm craving you.
When I saw, I was outside where we filmed the podcast.
And I saw John Snow.
Kit Harrington sitting outside having breakfast.
And the kid is a squeak big, but he's a handsome, handsome kid.
And I was really thinking about going up to him and just introducing myself and seeing if I can get a
pick.
But it's one of the only times that this has happened where I actually was repelled by his
handsomeness and I got too nervous to even get close to him because I just saw it to this guy.
I said he's a beautiful man.
And I said, I don't want to have, because I'm just now finally.
after months and months and months getting over Ryan Sourhan.
And I'm realizing that I actually was in love with him.
And so I'm just getting past that now.
So I didn't want to fall in love with yet another guy.
So Kit Harrington, if you're listening to this podcast,
which I know that you are,
just know that I wanted to come up to you,
but I was a little nervous that I would have sexually assaulted you.
Now, I want to ask you guys a question, everybody.
And you can answer first.
Would, is it worth it for you to take a role?
Would you, hypothetically, take a legendary role like,
John Snow and just be known as John Snow for the rest of your life?
Or would you rather have a career like, say, who's an actor who's known for many?
Daniel DeLewis?
Yeah, or, no, but that would, because everyone's going to choose Daniel DeLewis.
There's a lot of lesser-known actors that are really good.
I just can't think of their names.
So that's kind of-
Bobby Connavale?
Something like that.
He's a great actor.
Yeah.
Or like, there's this guy, there's this, he's like a Spanish dude who does like a Hispanic.
guy. Havier Bardem? No, no. You know who I'm talking about. He like can do anything. And like he's like,
there was a, somebody made a YouTube video of him doing all these roles and you're like, that guy.
And you're like, oh my, he's so good. You almost forget that he's, that that's the same guy.
And I've definitely 1,000. You would know him 100%. And his name's Hector. He was in training day and he played a cholo.
And then he's like, you see him doing Shakespeare. It's crazy. Oh, is that Michael? Isn't his name Michael?
Cliff Curtis.
Cliff Curtis.
Oh, I thought that guy, I thought that guy was a Middle Eastern guy.
Oh, yeah, I don't know what are you.
That guy, this guy is in true lies.
Dude, he's so good.
He's like Daniel Day Lewis level good.
He just doesn't.
Oh, and he's from New Zealand.
He's from New Zealand.
And he's Maori.
He's Maori, cuss.
Maori are one of like the first people.
Yeah, and it's crazy.
Like, he played a cholo.
It's like, it's crazy how good an actor he is.
Would you rather be that guy and just continue and be able to do all these roles?
or would you rather just be called John Snow for the rest of your life?
There's nothing you can do about it.
I had no idea his name was Cliff Peterson.
Let's, I just don't know what his name is.
Simple.
Cliff Curtis, go Cliff Curtis, Networth versus Kit Harrington, Networth.
And let's see the difference.
Let's see how many houses we can move in and that's a good point.
Okay, so Cliff is worth three Schmel.
Yeah.
And now let's go.
Kid Harrington is going to have a, is going to be a little more.
Kit Harrington, Networth, there we go.
And let's pull that up right there.
And then the answer, we have three mil versus 14 mil.
So I actually expected more from Kit Hauerick.
I thought he's going to be worth more than that.
But he's about over four times the net worth.
So I'm going to go with Kit just because I know that there's so many more houses I can buy.
You got to remember it.
It was a big cast and they had to pay a lot of people.
7.50 grand in Epiwepi is what they got at the height of it.
And then really hasn't been anything major since then.
Isn't that freaking wild?
Because that's my point.
You get pigeonholed as John Snow.
It's very hard for, it's very hard for an audience.
audience to see you. It was the reason actually why Elaine, I saw this whole interview, why Elaine
Cramer. See, I don't even know their name, but I'm just Julie Louis Dreyfus, Michael Richards,
who I'm a big fan of early work, Michael and Jason Alexander. So what they did in that last season
or two, they got together and they actually, they said, okay, for us to continue this show, this is the
reason they actually gave. They go, we're sacrificing. We're going to be known as these characters
for the rest. So you got to make it fun.
financially worth it. The risk of us doing this, we feel like it's got to be financially worth it
for us to give up, like, not being seen as these characters are. Right. So I actually, that's exactly
what they said. So they, what do they wind up getting at the end? They ended up getting a big money,
but that was their, that was the reason for doing it. Not a bad, not a bad reason. And I think it
was like a million episode or something like that. For 22, Julie U. Dreyfus was huge in VEP. Yeah.
But again, that's an HBO show. I don't know how much money you got paid. But you saw with Pramer and Jason
Alexander like they tried so many other things and nothing worked.
Jason Alexander was great and pretty woman.
Yeah.
Do you remember what's his name tried?
They all tried.
Michael Richards?
No, from friends.
They all like Chandler tried a bunch of shows.
Matt LeBlanc.
I just even called him Chandler.
Yeah.
Like it just you get pigeonholed and then you're that guy.
Jennifer Aniston's the only exception I could say.
She became a movie star.
Yeah, yeah.
But she was doing, no, but she was kind of doing those movies while the show was around
a little after.
But she's the one rule breaker of it.
She's known as Jennifer Aniston.
Right, right, right.
Yeah.
She's in a lot of stuff.
But Lisa Kudrow, you know, Phoebe, you know, Monica's, Courtney Cox.
I mean, Courtney Cox will, I mean, she'll just get cleaned.
She'll get cleaned.
But with a show, you run that risk of like, I think people go there.
I think if people saw him, they'd go, there's John Snow.
Right.
I don't think most people even know his name is Kit Harrington.
No, I was going to walk up to him.
I almost said to him Johnny Snow.
Right.
I almost called him Johnny Snow.
And people I saw, and when I did, I did out like a really,
kind of thing like a girl. Like I acted like
it was a girl. I was on the phone.
I was actually on the phone
talking to my real estate broker
and I was on the phone with him and I
didn't need to be
standing where he was standing because he was eating
outside but I chose to stand there anyway and not
look at him because what I was hoping was
is that somebody would recognize me and then that would
peak there and I would be invited to sit down
on his lap. Is what I did. I made
a move like a hot chick. Yeah.
These are thoughts that actually
this is what was going through your brain. This is 1,000%
not a lie, this is what I was doing and I was standing there and I tried, what I did also is I stood in a way because I don't like my left side. So I stood on my right side, which I think shows off my jaw a little bit better. And I was had my hand arm in my pocket and I was flexing my arm. I was making a fist. So I was trying to get the forearms going while I was also on the phone, my real estate broker. And every time he would talk about something, I would inflate it. I would inflate and I would say so they could do six mil.
and so and I was hoping on the off chance that one of these security guards or construction workers would notice me and say Grissy and they would look up and then I would kind of shoot them a look and see if you know say oh it's happy small time or something like that and then get into I didn't want any opportunity from Kit Harrington I just want to meet him I want to talk to him I just want to be close to me and I want to shake his hand and want to feel how soft his hands work that's what but I was really I was repelled back by his handsomeness yeah so that's gay to you or or or or you
Yeah, yeah, it's surprisingly more gay than if you told me a guy,
fuck your asshole last night.
And I don't know why.
I don't, it's just the amount of effort and the thought that goes into it.
It's just what it is.
I don't even know if I can call it gay.
It's like, I don't think, it's it, what is that?
It's like a woman's brain.
It's a woman thought, it's a woman's thought process.
Yeah, and it's, and it's interesting because it's, it's a lot of thought.
It's one of those thoughts and I just had those thoughts and it was and it took over about 30 to 40 minutes of my life.
And I've been constantly thinking about it where the piece at my wedding and the orange dress I just thought about for three seconds and just moved the other way.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you think it's because now here's the fun.
You're so fun.
You're so fun as a case study because you sent us pictures of what you looked like when you were like 12 or something.
And you truly looked.
Right.
Send it to you, Jeff.
Did I send it to you already?
Okay.
You look like you were truly special, like truly mentally handicapped.
Right, right.
Yeah, like, if I saw you, like, look at that.
Yeah, and then people say that I looked like, you know, Ben Stiller, Simple Jack.
Yeah, I mean, let's just scroll back up.
Yeah, what about those sneaks, Cus?
I mean, listen.
Listen.
That was at the Catalpa, YMCA Ridgewood Summer Camp.
Yeah, I mean.
What do you think of that?
Well, I think this is either the kid who has.
has special needs, like for real, I'm not even making a joke.
Like, this is a kid who's in, like, a learning disabled situation or who was brought up in a
cult.
Right.
You look like a cult kid.
Yeah.
Like, maybe you were like a Heaven's Gate kid or, like, something heavy.
Not even like a well-known code.
I'm not talking to Scientology.
I'm talking like somewhere off in the Midwest, like a Mormon cult kid.
Right.
So you're either a cult kid or someone who's waiting to go bowling.
Yeah.
And then you turned into a very handsome kid.
So you're saying that you don't think my camp counselor saw.
what was coming.
I just,
I find it hard to believe
that the priest made a move on you.
Yeah,
it's just what it is, right?
Because that is,
I'm not,
you know,
I've made this joke before,
but this is actual,
this is accurate,
that is a number four
at the lemon tree.
That haircut is my mom pointed out,
we'll take the number four,
I call for dollar menu,
and that's the haircut
that I had a full lemon tree
bowl cut.
Yeah.
The lemon tree was on Myrtle Avenue.
Yeah.
In between Forest Avenue and Stephen Street,
that's just where the lemon tree was
and where I used to get haircuts.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that,
and that,
my shirt tucked in, and I remember having those shorts, and those sneakers were just
brutes, goots, right?
No, the sneakers are okay.
It's, you know, you just, your proportions, you were a kid who was programmed, whatever your
DNA was, you were programmed to come to fruition when everything grew in.
So you're saying that.
Because look your ears are.
Right, right.
And then now they look small.
Right.
Because your head hadn't grown yet.
So you think there, 1,000 percent, you believe my mother, Linda Stefano, prayed this version
into me.
I think she prayed the gay out and the handsome.
in. It's only two options. Right.
Right. Either your mom prayed you in that way or this is, you are one of those people that God
placed on the earth to punish bullies. That's what it is. Because this kid's getting bullied.
Bullied big. This kid's getting bullied big. And then when you get older, it's not the reverse.
So you may just be to teach the lesson to the bullies. Right. Right. Yeah. Because maybe your purpose
on the planet. Now the thing about this kid, the thing about this kid is look like that.
And I think it was the only thing that was advantageous to me is what people don't know is this.
This kid was, you know, being taken down a farmer's oval park with a broom that my father had written Leroy on.
And I was taking a thousand jump shots a day.
And I would get underestimated and score 10 on you quick in the first quarter because I would bang out some threes and get some kind of N1 because my dad knew the only way that my kid's going to be able to survive this is if he has a decent jump shot.
Right.
So this kid did have a good jump shot.
That's the thing about it.
This kid could play ball.
So if I was, if I didn't look like that, I don't know if I would have been able to play ball.
You know what else I noticed about you?
you got really long arms.
Have you ever noticed that?
That's what my, when I was a kid, they would call me the orangutan.
I was always getting caught.
Even Anthony from badass,
Antony would always say,
it's tough to make my arms more muscular because they're so long.
Yeah, you got long arms.
So you truly were put together with different parts.
With different parts.
Yeah, you got like the parts don't match necessarily.
I have also like a guy from Senegal.
Yeah, your arms are like really long.
It's almost like down to your knee almost.
Right, right.
I was looking at that picture we took at your wedding.
and the first time I really noticed I was like the kids got long like Alan Iverson arms so I would I was good at basketball get I would get like steals I could pick and I could just get the jumper over guys who are much taller than me because of the length of my arm yeah I would just get it past a normal kid yeah yeah so yeah this is this is when you were still cooking this is I'm still cooking you were still cooking this is I'm still cooking this is still cooking this is I was still cooking I was fully cooked and since then I've just been rotting out of it to his belly button a lot yeah I could and I would always get sore throats yeah you are still cooking at this age I was fully cooked and since then I've just been rotting out of
on the table. It's just what it is. This is, yeah, you're like an avocado. I'm just an avocado that's been
sitting out there too long. This is, this is, this is 1996. So what were you in 96?
Were you in college? I would have picked this kid up and put him on a fucking tree. What it is?
19. 1996, I was a jacked adult. It's what, what? 18. I was, uh, no, I wasn't jacked. No,
I wasn't 18. I was, yeah, yeah, I was about, yeah, I was in college. No, I was in college.
Yeah. College, yeah. I was in, like a freshman or sophomore in college. Yeah, and I was just
I was in day camp.
Yeah.
I was 12.
Yeah.
I was jacked at that point.
I think because I started like lifting.
That's when I was my strongest was at college.
Right.
You know,
that's when I would have taken this kid and fucking thrown him into a goddamn tree.
It's so wild too.
Like there's so many memories I don't have of like things that I thought would be profound in my life.
But for some reason one of my friends sent me this picture.
And like I remember this day.
Like it was just a random day at the park.
Like nothing extraordinary happened.
But a picture was taken and I remember it.
Because so many pictures I see I'm like, I don't remember that at all.
It's fascinating about.
the memory, like why, do we have any inside info as to like why memories of mundane things
stick in your head? When some of, there are times were like, I was at, I've been at games I've
told you about and I'm like, I don't even remember being there. Is it the phone? Is it a distraction
of the phone? No, well, overall, you mean? Like why memory? Like do kids who are 12 years older,
are they going to have less memories because they're half distracted by the phone where at that time
we didn't have any devices? Your brain, well, even before the phones, just memories are
stories. Like your brain tells us, your brain doesn't remember reality as it is. Your brain
remembers it a story and it prioritizes with that unconsciously. It prioritizes this is important
information. This isn't. It's sort of like a power saving. It's almost like an energy saving
built-in mechanism. Okay. That's sort of you, your subconscious filters out. Right. And then even
at night when you're sleeping, there's a fluid that comes and like washes your brain and like clean
And while you're sleeping, they know now that, like, your brain is arranging the feelings,
the thoughts, and telling the story for your memory.
Wow.
So everything you remember is not remembered accurately as you have.
That's very interesting.
Yeah.
And that's why you only remember certain things because for some reason you deem that important
and other stuff not.
But there are ways, like, neuroscientists and these people know, like, there are ways
to access hidden memories, right?
There are techniques and stuff you can do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, it's weird.
They don't understand fully.
they understand the brain, they don't understand the mind, because the mind and the brain are two different things.
And I see a lot of studies now saying that they think a lot of the mind is in the gut and not in the brain.
Yeah, it speaks to what we were talking about before the podcast, like what is consciousness?
It's more of an open question now than it was, and that's not fringe to say.
I mean, it's something people are discussing now and they're kind of baffled by it.
But yeah, it's an interesting thing.
It's an interesting thing.
For example, like, I didn't remember any of my childhood, which was weird.
and then I had kids and I was like flooded with these memories that I wasn't choosing,
which was weird.
Weird.
Like I wasn't choosing to have a flash of a memory.
They were just coming.
Coming out.
Yeah.
Well, like, you start to, when you have kids, you start to relive your, like, Halloween and
Christmas really wasn't that big a deal for you for 30 years.
And then it all of a sudden becomes a big deal again.
And then that must unlock something in the head.
Yeah.
You know?
But for me, it was unlocking, like, uncomfortable feelings.
It was uncomfortable.
Like, things were like just, and.
it was just flooding out.
Right.
I wasn't choosing have this thought.
It was almost like I had built this thing.
Right.
This built this persona.
Right.
And I was just, and then I had kids and like, my whole reality, like, came undone about
who I thought I was or what I thought.
And I had to face a bunch of memories and feelings that, and my, for whatever reason,
my kids, like being with my kids sparked that.
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Now let me ask you this because I know this is, you know, it'd be a couple of days old
by the time this comes out, but I just have to ask you because it's big Greek news
with Janus Antem Pukukuku, who.
getting traded to the Miami Heat,
how do you feel about that?
Are you okay with the Greek freak moving to Miami?
I'm very happy for him because,
I mean, anytime anyone can get out of Milwaukee
and go to Miami, it's just a great day.
I mean, the kid is a Greek.
Make zero mistake.
Him and his brothers are as Greek as Greek can get.
Like real Greeks.
They are real Greek.
Like he does not like Turkish people.
He is so Greek.
It's like he's crazy Greek.
He goes to Greece.
He lives in Greece.
he's a hero in Greece
he's he's just so culturally Greek
so Greek that the Greek people have put aside
the fact that he's black
that's a good way to have to be a good culture
if I want to be honest with you
Good way to put it yeah yeah
good way to put it because for them that's a
that's a very very high honor because for the Greeks
to put aside the fact that he's black
and accept him as a Greek hero is big
it's very unlikely
right it's very unlikely
right it's like the
New York Knicks, what the experts predicted for the New York Knicks.
They didn't predict they were going to win the championships.
It's very unlikely.
Very unlikely.
So that, if you don't know anything about sports, but you know about culture, know that that is how good Janus Anten-Ten-Kopupu.
The Greek freak isn't basketball, is that the Greek citizens of mainland Greece have put
aside the fact that he's black and honor him as a Greek here.
They honor him as a Greek.
That's all you need to know.
That's all you need to know.
They love the fact that he's so Greek and he's.
He's not like, I guess, genetically Minowan, whatever.
Right.
So he's so Greek.
And he loves being Greek.
That's awesome.
He's into being Greek.
And Miami fits more of a Greek culture than Milwaukee.
That's why I said it.
Right?
You got the heat.
You got like beautiful by the islands.
I think that it'll be a good fit here.
I will say they had to give up Tyler Harrow, Hero, to get him, which I get.
And I know the saying, well, it was a black guy for a black guy.
It was two black guys that aren't really black guy.
Right, yeah. That's just what it is. That's what it is. Even trade. Right, right. And that, and that's, that's what you need to understand as well. Isn't this interesting? Is if Tyler Hero was Tyler Heronokis, but he was like the same person, the Greeks would still accept Janus more than Tyler Hero if Tyler was Greek because Tyler Hero is acting black.
And Greek people just don't like that. Unless you're Janus Antikampupooh. Then they really like that. So it's a very, it's nuanced, it's human behavior. But I, but I, you know, it's nuanced, it's human behavior. But I, but I, you know,
I can tell you...
It's fun, fun, fun, though, isn't it?
It's fun, fun, fun, and I can tell you with 100% certainty that Greeks like Janus more than Tyler.
So...
Janus is a good family man.
Great family man.
Has good values.
Good values.
And he's so kind of profound and he feels like he lives life for the right reasons.
Like even with winning and losing, he doesn't...
You know, it's very American about you...
If you win, if you don't...
You know, if you lost, you...
You know, if you didn't win the championship that you lost, he lost.
doesn't look at life that way. He's like, we're playing the game. Yeah, which I appreciate
about him. I think that that's healthy. Yeah, I mean, look, he's still one of the best players.
Look at those numbers. He's going to go to the hall. He's, if his career ended tomorrow, he's already
in the Hall of Fame. Without a doubt, it's unbelievable, this guy. I do think he's on the back,
I mean, he's on the back nine. He's 31 years old. He's been playing since he was 18, 19, 19,
on Milwaukee the whole time. He came in. He was like 18 years old and 19 years old in the Milwaukee
bucks. Yeah, he's great. And then, and we'll see, but I will say, I still don't think
that they can beat the Knicks or the Celtics.
I think that you'll see the Knicks, Celtics or the Pacers,
being one of the top East teams.
I mean, him and Bam, Bam, on Dubaiu is just not enough, though.
But it's a nice defense.
Yeah, it's not enough.
Yeah, it's a nice defense, but it's just not enough.
If the Knicks keep the team together, maybe add something.
I would be very, very true.
They need a shooter, but I would be very careful at messing with the chemistry,
especially, you know, with the people up front.
I mean, Jose Alvarado, he's got to stay.
I just think for chemistry, he's got to stay.
I know there's...
Good for New York.
Have a Puerto Rican player.
But I think that that matters.
I think that that matters a lot more.
I think like he galvanized the crowd.
He's got to stay.
And I mentioned him in my wedding vows.
I mentioned Jose Alvarado because I knew that we got the Puerto Ricans going.
You did.
I said that...
It got Sergio interested.
I said, yeah, I said at one point in my vows, I said, you know, when we had our daughter,
a lot of people counted us out because we barely knew each other.
I said, but one thing I've learned about...
about Hodes-Alvarado and New York Knicks is you never count Puerto Ricans out.
Right.
And it got a nice laugh and then it got someone to go, woo, hell yeah.
Yeah.
And that was probably from Jasmine's side of the family.
Now, was that pre-written?
Was that off the dome?
That was, no, it was pre-written, but I took James Madden's advice to leave some things open.
And the, I improv off the dome.
I said, now I'm becoming important.
You know, today's the day I become Puerto Rican.
I improv that.
And then at the end when I said, I love you, Jasmine, and here's to selling another 10
houses with you. That was off the cup.
By the way, speaking of James Madden,
we got a nice pick with him. Things look good.
No blood clot. No blood clot for James.
Yeah, and he's finally having a celebratory cigar. That's what it is.
That's what we wanted to see. That's what we want to see.
It's like four months. Health.
It's all you want to hear is health. Health and happiness.
Health and happiness. I got a cortisone shot in my Achilles, so my Achilles feeling better,
but I do have to get probably my Achilles,
the place you came with me to,
they told me they got to clean out my Achilles next week.
So for the next two weeks after next week, most likely,
I will be in a walking sandal.
Now, which it's really going to be hard for you to take
if I'm a walking sandal, right?
Especially if your toes are going to be out.
Yeah, my toes are going to be out.
I'm going to be a walking sand.
Yeah, if your toes are going to be out,
that'll be even funny, which they will be.
Because I've got to clean out the debris.
Yeah.
Now, I've actually been thinking about, like,
I'm worried about being around the two of you guys
because I know I'm going to, I feel, I believe in that sometimes.
You catch the energy of the people around you.
Okay.
What do you think you catch?
I'm going to catch some sort of injury.
My knee's going to give out or my ankle's going to give out.
Being around whom?
Me and Jesse?
Yeah, you guys got old man injuries.
We do.
You got young men bodies with old man injuries.
Jesse needs a new knee and you got grandmother feet.
I know.
Well, if you want to stay young, the only thing you have to do and only one of us is doing it in
in this room is you got to throw on a cuckoo for Cocoa Pops t-shirt.
If you want to stay young, then you have to dress like an 11-year-old.
Go-Go Pum's T-shirt
It's hard to take
It's hard to take
But it's also
Very funny
Very Nick
And I really regret
Not inviting him to the wedding
Just because I would have really
Like to see what he showed up wearing
That would have been fun
I really would have really enjoyed
That
It would have been nice to see him
Without a hat too
Yeah yeah
Well or I mean
No but as you saw
He would wore a hat
You have certain members of Jasmine's family
Had those Puerto Rican hats
Yeah they did
We would have thrown one of those on
What are those called
Nick those hats
Panama hats
Panama hats
They threw on some Panama hats
Now you just yawned
Now you never yawned
What's been going on with you?
Are you sleeping? What's been going on?
You're getting beat up a little bit?
No nothing
No, I'm fine
I'm totally fine
Because I got beat up this morning
There's water in my basement
I got beat up
Yeah because normally you never yawn
Because I got you a doctor
Lauder 14
Yeah
How do you order it
Can you say can I get a doctor F?
I go
Well I said no I go
I always make sure I say
Can I get a cappuccino with
milk?
I always say, you want to open, you want to take a book out of Tom Segura's,
take a page out of Tom's book and open a cafe,
and then we can name our coffees, coffee, coffee Leroy, or Dr. F.
A doctor F, and we can just go and name, have some fun names.
Yes, I really would, and I do.
We have some Lindsay's.
I regret at my wedding, not naming the drinks.
I should have did that.
You should have did that.
I should have did that.
I didn't think, now that it's over, I'm regretting a little bit.
I'm like, I should have thought more about that.
I should have thought more about every detail.
It's okay. It's totally okay.
You did that too, right?
I didn't do any planning for my wedding.
Zero.
No, nothing.
Nothing.
Now, did you, the day after your wedding, did you have, like, did your wife or her family
download about, like, all the things that went wrong?
Because I feel like that's what women like to do.
No, but my, yeah, my wife was very upset about the lighting on the stairs.
Okay.
And she was able, she complained about that.
And she was, you know, to the point where the guy was just, like, take some of the money back.
She was very upset about the lights on the stairs.
lights on the stairs and the pictures. They were a wrong color. She was not happy about that.
We were not thrilled with the DJ. Okay. Um, so...
Did he give some money back, too? I don't know. I don't know, but she, she definitely lets people
know when she's upset. Right. And those were the two weaknesses that was seen in the wedding.
Otherwise, it was a fantastic wedding. And my family, you know, now they're my family, so I'll say
my family. They go all out. They go all out. I think we've spoken about this on the podcast
That's ready, but just to reiterate, when he says that they've went all out,
again, it was just me, jazz, and my two children who went over to Yanni's house to watch,
I think, game two of the NBA finals.
And the spread that they had was, if you miss that episode, was nine pizzas, three trays of pasta, four cakes, and then homemade appetizers for, I have two little girls.
Yeah.
Nobody, nobody's coming to my house and leaving hungry or not having options.
It's just, it's crazy.
You don't leave hungry.
We left with a pizza.
You live with pizza, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
It's actually, it's funny.
And nobody feels in your family, like, I know if that was me, I would say, like, well, we order
too much food.
I spent all this money.
But that's not how your family thinks.
They're like, whatever.
We'll order more.
Greek and Italians are like that.
Italians are the same way.
You have to be overfed.
I will tell you this legendary.
It was so legendary.
So Brittany's friend had a wedding.
And she's Italian.
Tine.
Italian.
Like Italian.
Like Italian.
Like Italian.
Like Italian.
Like Italian.
Yeah.
So she had a wedding.
and the father, God rest his soul, and that's something
Italians also do.
They mentioned somebody who passed.
I mean, yes.
You say, God rest of soul or God forbid?
God forbid or God rest his soul.
That guy's shot.
I'm telling you, you shot.
Yeah.
God rest his soul, God forbid that guy's shot.
Not for nothing.
Not for nothing.
God rest his soul, the father.
He was a big man.
All right?
A large man, meaning he looked like he enjoyed culinary arts.
So we're not talking about muscles.
This guy didn't have muscles.
No, he was a big guy.
He was a big guy.
He was a big guy.
Big guy, he liked Dede.
He liked Dede.
Yeah.
He liked Dede.
Yeah.
And he also liked his cigars.
Yeah?
And so he was visiting his mom and he died in a very Italian way.
He was visiting his mom.
Okay.
Who was in the hospital.
He's visited his mom.
And he had a heart attack getting out of the car.
Right.
And so God rest his soul.
Yeah, God rest his soul.
He ended up passing before his daughter's wedding.
God forbid.
God rest his soul.
So he died in the parking lot of the house.
hospital visiting his mother. His visit his mother
had a heart attack. He was almost close enough
to get the help, but it's a very
Italian way to die. Guy like to eat, guy like cigars
and he spoke him in a car. Yeah.
You know, he took it right over there and just
the heart, his heart, the heart
gave out. Just gave out.
It's what it is. It had no more to give.
Yeah. It gave all it could.
It's what it is. But this was
right before the wedding. But he
picked the food and helped
plan the wedding. An Italian,
a real Italian. Right.
I've never seen anything like this.
Right.
I've never in my life seen anything like this to the point I always tell Verza, I wish he was there to see it because he goes crazy over stuff like that.
Right.
It was something that is still in my mind.
It's still something.
I just don't understand how someone goes to that level, but you just appreciate it when you see it.
Right.
And you're going, this is just crazy.
Right.
So just to explain, the ceremony happens.
It's a very nice place out in Jersey, right?
Nice venue, outdoor, indoor.
Very nice.
So you go to the ceremony.
People are walking around.
Right.
You want this, you want that, that.
Then they go to ceremony, right?
Drinks before the ceremony, then the ceremony.
Then after the ceremony, then you walk in to the cocktail hour.
Yeah.
Now, the cocktail hour was something I've never seen in my entire life.
Okay.
The hallway down to the cocktail hour was stations of gourmet food.
Right.
The whole way down.
before dinner.
Yeah.
So he had a guy making homemade pasta.
Right.
Right there.
Sushi table.
Yeah.
You know, I mean, where they're cooking for you.
Right.
They're cooking for you.
Right.
All these tables.
Guys with chef hats.
It's like a line of all different restaurants.
A rhyme of different restaurants on the way to the cocktail hour to get into the cocktail hour room.
Right.
When you get into the cocktail hour room, there was an ice sculpture that reached the ceiling.
Yeah.
full of seafood.
Yeah.
All the way down.
Like there's no way you could even get to the top of it.
You couldn't get to the top of it.
It was an eye, he had an ice sculpture built.
Right.
Somebody carved it.
It was a sculpture of like a woman.
Yeah.
You know, like a naked woman with just seafood.
Yeah.
All around lobsters.
Well, you're laughing out loud.
I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
Yeah.
It was something.
And that was one of the tables in the cocktail room.
Then there was guys with lamb shanks
hanging off when they were broiling lamb shanks right and they were hanging them up and he's lamb shank this was before dinner
right lamb shanks and fucking drink tables I mean it was crazy and then everyone goes into the dinner and then it's like an eight-course dinner
of the most delicious food the most decadive food and then the dessert it was just so even you couldn't keep eating though
it even stopped you on your track everyone was like full by the time you on the walk right because
Everyone was stopping and you didn't know what to get.
You're like, and all the food was like unbelievable.
So there's no way that there had to be tons of weight of food that nobody ate.
Tons of food, nobody ate.
And he planned it.
So before he died, he planned this thing.
And you know he was there in spirit.
Just like trying to.
Everything.
Trying to take a bite of things.
So, I mean, that, yeah, I mean, that's the thing with Italian.
And Italians do that and Greeks do that.
Yeah.
It's just crazy.
Like, when you go to like a Greek,
they just keep bringing out the food.
It's just a...
Jesse used to tell me
stories about his grandma.
She would...
She would just bring out the food
and he would talk about
how delicious the sauce was
and how they thought
that the flavor was in her hands.
Because she did everything
with her hands.
So he would tell me that
she would go to wash her hands
and they'd go,
oh, ma, no, no, don't wash your hands.
Yeah.
No, that's where the flavor's at.
Don't wash you.
No, I don't watch it.
The secret maybe is just
like never wash your hands.
Yeah.
But then...
That's very funny.
Yeah, Jesse would tell me
that she'd bring out the dish and another dish.
And then people would be like,
Ma, I can't, like I can't...
And she goes, oh, I forgot the chicken cut.
And then she'd come with another trade.
Like, Ma, what are you doing?
Yeah, yeah.
It's just too much.
Well, you would just keep eating, right?
Right, Jesse.
You got to keep eating, yeah.
Absolutely.
Her hands look delicious.
I think if you sauteed her hands
would be the best meal you ever had.
Because that's where all the garlic and the spices just stated.
They were dripping with oil.
Yeah.
And how was that food?
Was it crazy?
Yeah, yeah.
It's funny.
When you've been to the mountain top, when you've had, like, true authentic food, it's, like, it's hard to compete.
Like, you go to one of these fancy places, restaurants, it's good.
But when you've had, like, the real deal.
And Italians are really serious about the meatballs.
Yeah.
They get very upset.
They won't.
They won't, like, Jesse, we, like, there was this place that had meatballs.
Yeah.
Right.
It was a famous place, though.
And it's out there.
Was that Carbell Hill, Carl Gardens?
What, Frankie?
Yeah.
No.
It's another place that was old school that was down here.
And they were famous for the rice balls.
Yeah.
And Jesse would go,
Jesse refused, he's like, I can't do it.
And he was serious, I can't, I don't want it, I can't.
There's no point to have a rice bowl.
There's no point to do it.
If it's not, if it's not my grandmother,
there's just no point.
I mean, Italians get very serious about the meatballs
and the rice balls.
Yeah, and it hits you in a crazy spot.
Like, if we brought this rice bowl in here, the big one.
Yeah.
Chris Italia, he would tell you, he says the same thing.
Yeah.
He's like, oh, hey.
Yeah.
He's like.
So my grandmother had four sisters,
and they used to fight over who had better meatballs,
and they wouldn't go to each other's houses anymore
for dinner because they would fight over who had better people that's a true story right yeah one of the
that's hilarious the one of the funniest things we went to one of these real italian restaurants me
my dad and my brother i don't know if i told this story in the podcast maybe in the first rike i can't
believe we call it the first rike it's just what it is just what we do yeah but um we went there and my
my brother got a seafood pasta and it was italians from italy the guy the waiters were tied right
so then my dad my my brother goes um can i get some can i get some um he goes can i get some um he goes can i
get some great cheese? Can I get some cheese?
Yeah. And the guy goes, he went, what? He went, no. He went no. And he just walked away.
And my brother was like, waiting. Yeah. And like the guy didn't bring the cheese. It just wouldn't do it. Yeah. Italians just, they take it.
Yeah, like at an Italian restaurant, do they even have ketchup? If you brought out ketchup, like, would they even have it? At a real Italian restaurant in Cobble Hill, whatever, could you even get an item that,
they would have ketchup to go with.
I don't think you could, I don't think you could get that.
I think they would call that.
You know what I think they'd call that.
Yeah.
I can't say it to the pocket about text it to you.
Yeah, I know what they would say.
Yeah, I think they'd call it something sauce.
They'd call it something sauce.
I think I know the word you need.
Something sauce.
Yeah, and it's in here.
Yeah.
That would probably be a good name for them.
I would imagine that those two words went together to describe ketchup at some point.
Yeah.
Right?
Somebody went over to somebody's grandmother's house and they said,
Can I get some ketchup?
And they say, we don't got any sauce here.
Yeah, so sorry.
It's just how Italians are.
Yeah, Italians are funny.
Like, I remember one time I ordered a slice and I was just hungry and I was like,
oh, you don't have to put it in the oven.
And he was like, you want this with no heat?
I said, yeah, he went, all right.
And he gave it to me, but he said no heat.
Yeah, like he couldn't, he couldn't.
He didn't want to do it.
Yeah, he goes, you want this with no heat?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's like, this guy's a fucking retard.
Yeah.
He's a fucking retard.
He got a slice with no heat.
What is he doing?
You're fucking non-a mal.
You got to get some heat.
Yeah.
Chee-ching.
This sounds to Shopify.
Yeah.
Shopify is my favorite.
I love Shopify.
I love how easy it makes the experience.
I hate it how long other things were.
How hard.
It was just bad.
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Now, because today after the podcast, because Tampa Tony's come and stay with me for a week.
Yeah.
So I'm going to have to get home, but I mean, I know you don't have to get the roof clean today, but you better bet your ass.
We're going to get food after this.
I actually am hungry.
I'd like that.
We have to get food big.
And I'm going to see what time my, if my father hasn't left the house yet, where he's staying in New Jersey, then we're going to go down to a little place called Pottos.
Now, the wedding was really nice.
Congratulations.
You have socks on.
I got socks on.
Okay.
Is this the Patreon or the normal?
This is the normal because we did the Patreon.
And we went a little wild on the Patreon.
We went a little wild on the Patreon.
So you're going to want to go to patreon.com slash history hyenas because we said a lot of things and we read a lot of text that not only we can't say it at the Patreon level, we probably can't say them at the 25-john level because I've incriminated people.
Yeah, we talked about your wedding on the Patreon.
It was really a good time.
It was a really good time.
You're wearing a wedding ring now.
I'm wearing a wedding ring.
Now, where did you get the wedding ring?
I like it.
It's black.
It's nice.
It's black.
It's nice.
It's from a little Jewish friend of ours named David Herman.
Oh, so that, he's a famous guy, right?
David Germans, I think, well, Cornynil, you know, jazz, you know, it's a big jewelry place.
Yeah, this is how I know I got to lose weight if I can fit your ring, because you're a bigger guy than me, and this is just, my fingers are fat.
Well, my, I was just able to get my ring off for the first time since Sunday, it's Tuesday already, today, because my fingers were so swollen from all the food that I couldn't get, I couldn't pull the ring off.
I actually took skin off my finger to pull the ring off.
Why is that?
Because your fingers swell in.
from the...
From the sodium?
Yeah.
So, but now, it's, you know, feels normal, so it's on.
But I gotta be honest, it feels nice.
Some things I've learned already is, um, I can't put in hair product with a ring.
It messes it up.
Um, what are you doing, by the way now?
What's going on up there?
It doesn't look right today.
No, I'm just so, I'm, no, for me, for me, whenever I see shave here, like, it, well, I just,
you know, you go, you're, you're constantly going back and forth between Soho and out of
Burrow kids.
Well, as Tommy described it, this is World Cup hair.
Yeah, you got World Cup hair.
I just don't, what are we doing?
Are you now Argentinian?
Yes, so what I've decided to do now is I've seen the World Cup players these last couple of weeks, and they said, I'm getting one of their haircuts.
But you said you don't think it looks bad.
No, it just looks like you got your haircut and Corona Queens.
It's just what it is.
Well, I might be preparing for a move back there.
What, where, did you go for a different style?
Did you tell the guy let's try something different?
I told him, I want him to.
Because you have a mullet.
I got a mullet.
There's hair back here.
Yeah, I told him.
I want him to grow it out.
I want to grow it out a little bit, but the sides, you know, I don't want the hair of my ears, so he just decided to shave the side of my head.
I like that.
I let it go down a little bit.
I like that.
I like, can we continue this?
You want me to keep going with that?
I want to continue.
Can we go full mullet?
Does it look like a mullet?
Nick?
Do I look like a, what do they call it the Colombian haircut?
A seven?
Can you do that?
Just one for me one time?
Just one haircut for me again?
Yeah.
Can we just do one haircut back to the shave part in hair?
You like that one?
I like that was fun.
We got to go back to Panache Salon
on 3rd Avenue in Bay Ridge with Stefano.
When you used to get like the real
Stephano, yeah.
The real Italian haircut.
Yeah, I like a, he used to shave the part in it.
Stefano was a great barber too because he just,
it was like an old school Italian restaurant.
Like you could tell him what you wanted,
but he was going to do what he wanted.
Yeah, which I love because he always made a good choice.
There was something about a Stefano
who I like to call the man with the golden clippers.
Yeah, with the golden clip.
He was something about him.
He told you people don't have that.
He people, this isn't, you know,
a lot of people don't have it.
they don't appreciate, they don't know about it.
Yeah.
And also something I liked about it is just really nice to go into a barbershop
where the father and the son are right there.
Two sons.
And the brothers there.
And it's just a family business.
He has a really calm energy about him because I think he's a guy who kills deer.
And there's something about real men that are calming.
He kills deer.
Like you say you get calm, you get real, you feel nice and secure when you're around Tommy Galucci.
Yeah, big time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's the kind of guy too
where you're just safe in that barbershop
You can kind of say anything
You won't offend them
I mean anything
And it's fine
You kind of feel like a man in there
They'll offer you a little espresso
Yeah, they got a little espresso
That's so classy
It's nice, you know
And they laugh and they joke
And you know
And they're the guys like
When they sit oh where are you moving
And I said oh I'm gonna
I'm gonna go up to Westchester
Westchester they were like
What are you moving a fucking Mars
What's out there
How far is that guy
Because for them
distance is just
you know they're like why you go somewhere closer
back to Staten Island because for them
distance is how far are you from Brooklyn?
From your ma.
From your mom or from your mom right?
Because for them because Westchester's
it's all relative right it's not that far
if your family's there but to them that's far
yeah because they're just saying my ma's in Carroll Garden
see yeah because Jesse's got a dilemma because he's
half Italian right? Right so
he's still got the string attached to his
ma right but then he's got the Jewish side
that wants to just kick her out to Florida
yeah it's just like this it's just
It's just this, he's got a conflict.
The Italian side's like I got to visit my mom.
And then the Jewish side of his brain goes,
I got to get it a flower.
But I'd argue that because Jesse's father is Italian and the mother is Jewish.
And I would say Jesse is coded in mostly Jew.
Yeah, those, they, right?
Because you're coding.
They say that.
I say if you come through the Jewish meat curtains, you get Nick.
I think that, I think that I would say,
I would say Jesse's got a heavy coat of Jew.
Yeah, I think what happens, what I've noticed with the secular Jews that I know.
I know a lot of Jews, grew up with a lot of Jews.
The secular Jews, they become more religious as they get older.
I think a lot of people do that, though, right?
Because they get scared of death.
I don't want to get right.
People go, that might be a fairy tale, and they go, I'm listening.
Right.
Whatever.
Right.
I'll take whatever.
Whatever's going to ease.
Let me give me a little lubricant.
Let me get a little louvreep.
Because I know I'm getting on the runway soon.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now, what was this Brazilian guys?
name again. Was that Ronaldo? That was their first
Ronaldo. Right. Because
by the way, I mean, again, I'm not a soccer
Fisciano, but I know that Lino Messi,
if he wins to the World Cup again, because I know
he's got the most goals, there's kind of like
no debate anymore. He's the greatest
of all time. Right? He's like
blowing past Ronaldo.
Do you like Messi or no? Fuck
Argentina. Wow.
Yeah. So you think Cristiano Ronaldo's the best
player. Who's your team? Uh, Uruguay and Chile,
but Uruguay.
We're always going to go to Brazil.
Uruguay. Didn't they
just tie Cape Verde?
Yeah, that was fucking...
What the fuck is Cape Verde's coming out of nowhere?
I don't know what Uruguay is like the Knicks.
They always play down to their opponents.
So, like, if they play against a big team, like Spain or something, they'll try to do better.
But any time they pick, like, a random country that no one's heard of, they're like, you know.
Utuguay is supposed...
And do they still have that guy who bit somebody last World Cup?
No, his knees are all fucked up, but he was in the audience watching the whole thing.
Oh, that dude was really good.
Yeah.
That was two World Cup ago when he beat the guy.
He bit somebody. That's very funny thing you do.
Uruguay.
Can you say Urigoi again?
Urui.
Uruguay.
Oh, my guy.
What's my people?
What do you?
What's my people?
No, not like that.
No, more Italian.
It's more of an Italian rhythm.
Like,
Let's,
not...
No, it's just to the plasha.
Let's not be so bulludo.
Have you tried
approach your girl and talking that
instead of going,
Hey, have you,
I want you know my Hulk Hogan's documentary?
They hate it.
I mean, that's a beauty...
No, I think the Spanish is nice on it.
My boss got hard.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think that was sexy.
The Spanish on you is good.
Spanish on you is good.
Because, yeah, the English is not.
Yeah.
The Spanish on you works good.
Now, did you know about the original Ronaldo?
I think everyone in Brazil has named Ronaldo.
Right.
But the old Ronaldo, the most famous Ronaldo, he got caught with a trans woman.
Really?
I didn't know that.
Yeah, he got caught with a trans woman, Marisa.
That was a big story.
But in Brazil, that's just a woman.
And they just, well.
There's a lot of trans woman.
in Brazil.
That's right.
But it was a big story.
You know what's funny about these soccer players?
They are so famous around the world.
And then America,
I think they could walk into the supermarket.
Yeah, nobody.
The fact that I even said,
what's that guy's name again,
would be shocking to people who are fans of soccer.
Crazy.
Yeah, like Lionel Messi,
if you go to his Instagram followers,
or if you go to any of the big soccer,
it's like 400 million followers.
They're the most famous people in the world.
In America, that's how ethnocentric we are.
We're like, bro, your name's not Jake Paul.
I don't know how fuck you are.
I mean, Messi, I would, of course, know who he is.
But the other ones, yeah.
I mean, a lot of these players, I'm just hearing for the first time,
and they are fucking superstars.
Yeah, I mean, soccer is just...
Well, there's too many leagues in soccer for me.
It's like in the NBA is just one NBA.
Like, in England, it's like you got their Premier League.
Then in Spain, you have La Liga, then there's all these leagues.
So I'm like, how do I follow all these games and teams?
I can't pop on...
Make a one country league.
Right.
You know?
Yeah.
But they won't do it.
They like the complicated.
It's kind of similar with boxing.
You're going like, how many belts are?
How many leads?
What are we talking about?
It dilutes it too much.
Yeah, David Yermin.
Well, no, but before you had the Rinaldo, the Trans, yeah, Ronaldo and Transvestite scandal.
So you were right about that.
Yeah.
I mean, but I mean, in Brazil, he picked up three prostitutes only to discover at a motel that they were trans women.
He accused them of extortion and no criminal charges.
After he came.
right that's the thing after he got a blow after he got a blow this was all the way back in 2008
do we have pictures of these ladies yeah these these these ladies yeah i mean rinaldo
yeah i mean so there's prettier ones out there i could have told you i mean rinaldo there's
prettier ones out there boss especially for you i mean rinaldo seems like a fun kid no yeah he seems like a
Fun, fun kid.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was a big, big story because he, at that time, he was like Ronaldo.
Remember that, Nick?
It was like just Ronaldo.
He was the original Ronaldo.
Right.
And he was like the most famous guy on the planet.
Right.
And this was like, the kid just, he wanted to blow off a little steam in a hotel room.
I mean, you win the World Cup.
I mean, can I bang a guy?
Isn't it funny?
Like, when you get that famous, you get to this point where you go like, can I do this, can I do this thing?
and like the tug the pole
the crave
The crave
The kid had a crave
He had a big crave
He's like I
His crave built up so much
He ordered three
It's just what it is
It's like when you go to the sweet market
And they say how many cupcakes you want
You've been building up that crave for a little while
Yeah
So these were his cupcakes
And he would
Give me three of them
Give me three of them
Yeah because I
Because it was my wedding weekend
Sometimes you just want tits and dick
Tits and dick
I mean I had
I had since Friday
I've had five blueberry muffins
toasted with butter.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that's like what he's doing
with prostitutes.
Now,
whose decision was to put
the tiny pieces of cake
as hors d'oeuvres?
That was a nice...
The olive cake was delicious.
That was good,
but that was supposed to be
like just in addition
to the cake,
and we realized on the day of the wedding
that we never ordered the cake.
You forgot about the cake.
I forgot about the cake.
So you guys were supposed
to get cake
and those little horses,
but then, you know,
it's just what it is.
And I actually said,
as a, you know,
kind of half joking,
I was like,
what if we just order
10 ice cream Carvel cakes
and have
them cut it up. That would have been fun. I said that and then but jazz was just like she was like let's
just it's fine because people started leaving already. Yeah and the music who is the DJ?
We did jazz did a playlist. Oh that's richie nuns as the band but then she wanted like just like
just like a playlist but we could have in hindsight we should have gotten a DJ but jazz just
richie nuns was unbelievable. I mean he's just he was really like the singing was yeah he's a really
really talented kid and I mean genuinely handsome I mean Ronaldo would like to pick him up yeah how do you
know that guy. He we saw him
at a restaurant in Scarpetta's,
this is four years ago.
We saw him like he was just singing
and we were like, I walked up to him.
I kind of very similar to Kit Harrington.
I just walked up to him and I said,
I want to get to know you.
I mean, look at this guy.
I mean, I mean.
What does he do?
He has a band and he plays at weddings a lot or?
No, dude, he travel.
He does like us.
He has a residency in Chicago.
He plays like how we do comedy clubs.
He does restaurants.
Yeah.
Like, but it's very similar career path.
Richie Nuns.
You know, he does albums.
Yeah.
No, follow him.
Richie News.
Is it News?
Nuzzi?
Oh, yeah, Richie Nuzz.
I keep saying Nunes, but it's Ritchie Nuss.
Yeah, I mean, this kid, I would say this kid is smooth like butter.
He's smooth like butter that's been left outside the refrigerator.
Yeah, and guess what?
And he's also a kid from Long Island.
So it was good you kept your wife away because he's a long island kids.
Yeah, you got to keep him away.
But, you know, that's how smoothy is.
When you cut into it, it's a little melted.
It's a little melted, little butter.
All right, guys, go to Patreon.com slash history hyenas.
That's where all the fun happens.
We're going to read out the newest members of the matriarchy.
funniest name wins the prize.
Okay, here we go.
Leading off the list,
Tamahashi Chan,
then we got Chrissy Squirts Glue.
Then we got Michael Jackson
found my Neverland.
That's what it is.
Kid got abused.
Chicken finger that.
Okay.
Loud of 14.
Then we got Grumpy Monk.
Then we got listening to the pod
a little too loud with the windows down,
and now the Leroy's are staring.
Okay, it happens.
Drex, a good one.
Jay Allen.
Then we got in the program
straight on a tranny timeout.
it happens
it's Ronaldo
I'm gonna put them on the list
all right yeah I like that one
I like that one get them on
then you got A-rad
uh venty iced doctor F
chicken finger
chicken finger nice
then we got big time
chiropractor to Verzi
and even Hebert
wait what
oh is that is that
uh
Verzi's uh chiropractor maybe
I don't know
Ryan O'Gorman
Chris screwed stew
and who knows it was the Jews
Okay.
Ladder 14.
I run faster horny than you do scared.
Kids horned up.
Way song she ain't.
It's a rape joke.
Okay.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
Sorry about that.
Sorry about that, ladies.
Robbie, Will Kokek.
We can't control the people.
Yonis Pupus.
Trash Pig.
Sally sells she sells.
Sally sells seashells by the C-SPix.
Jesus Christ.
I guess they must have decoded that, or did you ever just Plank come out and say that?
I might have just come out and said it on a Patreon.
Yeah.
Frankie's Five Angels.
Pseudo-Genius of the Squeaks.
A.J. Rezac, Grant Charbonnet, spend $40 on you instead of you better make me come.
Oh, only fans.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
White guy sitting on a stoop.
Chicken finger
Okay
Good visual
Kaylee I've got a situation
With the mother Anthony
Oof
514
It's a good one
This is Fletch you walked into that
It's a really dark one
John Rodriguez
The Eucharist
Body of Christ
But with fuck feet
Okay
Oh you Chris
Like they took the tea off
Uchris body of Christ
But with fuck feet
It just serves a very strong
Drexler
For the wordplay
Yeah
Yeah.
Start Spreading the Jews.
I'm Tel Avivin today.
Latifoy.
I'm putting it on the list.
Yeah.
There's nothing offensive to that.
Very funny.
Tell of even today.
That's a contender.
Straight to the back of my Hormuz.
Very good.
Drexler it.
Jerking off, thumb up my ass.
I call it going abseiling.
I don't get it.
Okay.
AOC's balloon knot.
Okay, I think we've had that.
Yeah.
Nick, the Italian kid, so you know who my father voted for, Russo?
We definitely do.
Kanye's brand new pill dispenser.
It's pretty funny.
Yeah.
A kid definitely has to carry that around.
100%.
Yeah, I'm gonna chicken finger that.
Yanni P. and Chrissy D. would use to go with me.
Just go with me, yeah, we'll go with you.
Seth, leading man face, best friend, Body, Klein, A.D.,
Tim, if Yanni and, if Yanni and Amani, wait, if Yanni and a man, Iran has had a son, he'd be a psych, I don't know.
Sorry, victim of bad read, but this is just too many words.
Sometimes it's too many names.
You're trying to jam too much in it.
Yeah, you got to trim the fat.
Yeah.
Put the wrong sock on.
Now my toes are glued together.
Put them on the list.
It's just what it is.
It happens sometimes.
Contender.
It's just what, yeah.
Yeah, it's just...
Yeah, contender.
Skinny white boy from Atlanta.
I'm a twigger.
Okay.
Ladder 14.
You think on the list, Nick?
I think that goes on the list.
Yeah, I think it goes on the list.
What do you think? It goes in the list, yeah.
Okay.
Congrats on the wedding, but you're...
It's just what it is.
It's just what it is.
We put it on the list.
Drexor, Drexor.
Okay.
Yannis, Poppice, and Cash Patel's, the cross-eye
P's. Very good.
Yeah. Drexer.
Noah Cussarow, Paul Tassalupus, Alex Rodriguez,
swept my chimney, then went in for a kiss.
Put him on the list. Okay. I like that. I like that.
It's interesting. She might be a keeper.
Yeah. Lake country septic servicing, Oklahoma.
Screwed in. Screwed in.
Chrissy's real Broadway role is in rent. Is that an age joke?
Yes. Yes. Yes. Dreg.
Ladd of 14. Jacked off by so many Asians, call me Genghis Come. Put him on the list.
It's just what it is. Put him on the list. It's just what it is. We got, see, this was going
slow and then it's just catapult after cat. Guys have to keep listening. Yeah. Drew Blue Cuck.
Chris Real, Mark Flores, suit covered chimney charmer. Frisbee DIY, call it you it yourself.
It's good. Wait a second. Not that offensive. I'm going to direct slur because there was a better one.
But that, I mean, you could have been on the list, yeah.
Gert Brooks.
My dick looks like Anne Frank.
Okay.
Perks.
Hazy, field goal kicked.
Call my girl Bush 11, but I've seen stranger things.
Okay.
Creamy tear crumpet to AOC with the boys.
Times Square Bus Repair Service.
Vegetable mover.
J.B.
Irish dagger.
Snorkel and glue.
Justin Eukenholfer.
John Lagana.
Alex Honorellis.
laser beam Jedi, a.k.a. Mace Hindu. May the fumes be with you.
Okay.
Evan. Asian Caucasian cuisines where two Wongs do make it white.
List it. Yeah. Okay. List it. List it. Yeah. Ricky. Nutted in my eyes just to see how far I have come.
That's a shirt. Yeah. There was somebody made a picture of you with that. I think that's probably an expression that's been around.
Called for backup, but still shocked.
Jesus Christ
Come on, dude
Come on!
That one bad
Jesus
Yeah
Update AOC fisted me
Now I'm a full fucking quad
Okay
Well I don't get it
I don't know
Your sausage linky
And my Budichedge is a coinky
Um
Alan Perez
My Latino wife is amazing
Chrissy don't do it
Gersby
Bernie man
Darling Fulmer
Key's Pancake House, Old Forge
New York, screwed in, cuz
Screwed in.
You go.
Had prison sex but was not in jail.
Put them on the list.
Just what it is.
Fuck, there's too many fucking favorites on here.
I hate when this happens.
I wish they would spread them out.
Balls so blue,
I call the mole to clean my cirque again.
The mole.
Oh, okay.
Tuna.
Then last but not least,
a watermelon walked into Wakanda
and got sent to Valhalla real quick.
Probably.
Probably a racist joke that we don't get.
Okay.
Damn it. Damn it. Hard one. Here's the list. In the program, straight on a tranny timeout.
Okay, we're going to Drexer that. Okay. Start spread in the Jews on Tel Avivin today.
I'm keeping that around. I like that one. Good wordplay. Put the wrong sock on. Now my toes are glued together.
Gotta keep that around. Skinny white boy from Atlanta. I am a twigger. That's so good, but we're going to chicken finger it. Okay. Sweat my chimney, then went in for a kiss.
Very funny. We're going to Drexler it.
Jacked off by so many.
any Asians call me Genghis Come.
We got to keep that one around.
What it is.
Yeah, it's got to keep that around.
I got to do it.
Asian, Caucasian cuisines where two Wongs do make it white.
Very funny.
It's unfortunate, Drexler.
Okay.
Had prison sex but was not in jail.
That one is really funny.
So this is really funny.
So we got four.
We're in the final four.
So the four are start spreading the Jews.
I'm Tel Avivin today.
Put the wrong sock on.
Now my toes are glued together.
Jacked off by so many Asians call me Jengas Come and had prison sex, but
was not in jail.
Okay.
The thing, we have a lot of funny gay ones.
I don't know what we do.
Can you read the first one?
Start spreading the Jews.
I'm Tel Avivin today.
We're going to acknowledge you.
Very funny.
We're going to chicken finger it.
It was a good, hardcore, tight joke.
Just, yep, just not in the cards for you right now, but that's okay.
Put the wrong sock on.
Now my toes are glued together.
That one's just got to stick around.
Stick around.
Funny.
Jacked off by so many Asians call me Jengis come.
Okay.
Now, that could win
Either one of the, when you get narrowed down,
what that means is you could win on a bad,
on a worser list.
Sure.
That's just what the Drexler means.
So just know that you're not a loser.
Yeah.
You're a winner, but I have to Drexler you.
I'm sorry.
So which one?
Jacked up by so many Asians,
call me Jenghis come?
Yes, it's just, it's chicken,
I'm going to chicken finger that.
So then it is between put the wrong sock on.
Now my toes are glued together and had prison sex but was not in jail.
There we go.
So those are the two.
So these are the two.
So these are the two.
Yeah.
So put the wrong sock on.
Now my toes are glued together or had prison sex but was not in jail.
What do we think?
Nick, what do you like?
I like prison sex.
Jesse?
I'm going to go a little bit more innocent.
I'm going with the sock.
I'm going with the sock too.
So wow, it's on me.
It's on you because either you make it a tie or you end the series in five.
Knicks in five.
There's a five.
Well, you know, it's interesting.
I think last week,
I may have went another way, but this week since I've become fully Latino,
and I know that when you become fully Latino like I became this weekend marrying Jasmine,
it's okay to hate other Latinos now.
So I'm going to say, Nick, fuck you.
I'm going to put the wrong sock on.
Now my toes are glued together.
It's very funny.
That's what it is.
Yeah, it's a good call.
So that's the winner.
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