History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - Don’t F with Montenegro: The Slavic Giants of the Black Mountain | History Hyenas

Episode Date: January 29, 2026

The boys are in Bay Ridge talking about the Montenegrin people and just how tough and wild they are. One of the only people to never be fully conquered. Chris’ daughters are in the room while they pod—so it gets wild. Support our sponsors: Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at https://RocketMoney.com/HYENAS Upgrade your denim game with Rag & Bone!. Get 20% off sitewide with code HYENAS at https://www.rag-bone.com #ragandbonepod Head to https://FactorMeals.com/hyenas50off and use code hyenas50off to get 50% off your first Factor box PLUS free breakfast for 1 year. http://lucy.co/hyenas #comedy #Podcast #History Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas/ Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit.ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0 Hyenas Merch!!! https://store.historyhyenaspod.com Follow us Cuz! 🙆🏻‍♂️ Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ 🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ 🐕More Hyenas Website: www.historyhyenasisback.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/historyhyenas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HistoryHyenas Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/historyhyenaspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started. Hello, welcome to another episode. We're going to be talking about Montenegrins today, and we got my family, my daughters are here, and they're off camera, and we're going to try to see if they stay quiet throughout the episode. They may do a good job. They may not, but I think they're good because they're cute, good kids.

And Jesse's dog just bit my daughter. Yeah. Okay, I got to go. The dog is just eating a full slice. It's what it is. Dogs eat the full pizza, so just watch the episode. I got to go. See me in Bakersfield, Calvary.

California in February sometime. I can never remember the dates. And I'll just be February 6th. I will be at the MGM at the David Copperfield Theater doing stand-up. And David Copperfield has been not making my tickets disappear. Oh, see me at Soul Joe's February 6th or 7th. See me in New Jersey. Six, seven, six, seven.

New Jersey, Sol Jol's Potsdown, PA and Bakersfield, California in February. And we're coming to going to be doing a lot. show at the Village Underground at the Comedy Seller in New York City. We're getting a February date, but just look out. It's probably going to be a Monday at 6 p.m. So get the day off from work. Patreon.com slash history hyenas. Guys, welcome to another episode of the history hyenas.

We're coming to you from the Bay Ridge layer. We're coming to you from the old studio. We are contemplating changing the name of this podcast from History Hyenas to the Bay Ridge Boys. What do you guys think? What do you guys think? That would be a bad move. Yeah. I'm doing it.

Yeah, but you know what? It's AKA, every good rapper has a few names. Yeah. We are the history hyenas, aka the Bay Ridge Boys, aka the Lady Brain Boys. Yeah, it's what it is. Because the thing is, is I know the name. Fibble and Fabble.

Yeah, Fibble and Fable. It goes towards history, and I know that history is what we are known for and what we do, but I know history is not for everybody. So even if you don't like history, you can still listen to the show because 95% of the time we're not even talking about history. That's what it is.

And this is another thing. A lot of people like, uh, they go, oh, you guys don't do accurate history. Well, guess what? We never claim to because we do herstery. Herstery. Which if you've ever talked to a woman, the facts are always questionable. Yeah, and remember this. Our couples counselor said this to us the other day.

Remember that? Can it be her number. Yeah, you're going to get her number. She's great. She's an Asian lady and they're just better. And girls' earmuffs, okay? My daughters, what happened is today is today. If you listen to the Patreon, you know we're still in the same day.

It's Family Day here at the studio. I have my kids off camera to the right. Jesse has his dog. So we are doing a little family day here. We got pizzas on the way. But we wanted to bring guys an episode because there's a big snowstorm that came in and hit the city a couple of days ago. So we knew that we were going to get snowed in. And we're not talking about ice coming in New York.

Yeah. No, they're coming next. Yeah. But my therapist said something that was interesting. They said, if it's hysterical, it's historical. What does that mean? That means that if you're getting hysterical about something, like with your partner, like you're really getting mad, that that's got some history to it.

That there's, that's historical. That's not about what it's about. If it's hysterical, it's historical. Remember that. Make that emerge. I like that. And that's some truth to that. Because there's a lot of times, you know, where we get into these problems in therapy

and, you know, you think it's about this. But, you know, it's like wanting them buy and sell all these houses. It's not about the house. I find that most things are that way. What do you think, Mr. P? Yeah, what is Mr. P? Because how many people have a Mr. P doll? Because it's Robert Downey Jr.

And Tropic Thunder. That's what it is. Yeah. Because today we're going to talk about something very interesting from the hyena den to the people. When we come to the ridge and we do this, sometimes the accents gets a little more Brooklyn. What can you know? What did that guy say that I clipped? He goes, you know, it's going to be a whole thing.

They come down here. They come. That thing is, it's what I can't stop watching. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I just. For some.

For some reason, I just can't stop like that. I just like, you know, it's like people go, where does that stereotype come from, where people go, you know, forget about it. Yeah. Right? It's like, here's a guy saying it in 1989 in context. Because not have to make a big deal on it. I just, this thing's happening, you know, but don't make a big deal out of it.

Because now if you make a big deal and, you know, it's going to happen. They're going to come down. And we're going to start. They're going to start. There's going to be a big thing, right? So if we keep it low and forget about it, you know, maybe. this by now. And that guy has no shirt on in a mullet.

No shirt on him. And he's jacked and he's just a kid that would hurt you back in the day. And definitely comfortable with slurs. He's comfortable with slurs. And that's why, you know. Don't make a big thing about it because they're going to start. We're going to start. It's going to be a whole thing.

Shout out the Italian guy who said hello to me at the coffee shop in my neighborhood. He goes, yeah. He comes up to me. He goes, yeah. He was Italian guy. He was wearing a fence shirt. Like he has a fencing company. Yeah, yeah.

And he goes out to me. He goes, yeah, he goes, you know, my wife would never believe that you're in here right now. And I go, yeah, yeah. And I go, uh, and he goes, we should take a picture. And I was like, yeah. And then, and then I saw him go like this. He goes, I can't do a picture of you right now. My hair don't look good.

I swear to God. And I said, no, it's all right. He goes, nah, I'm not going to do it in my hair like this, but I'm sure I'll see you again. He goes, I'm always, it goes, I'm in here every Monday, 1030. We used to say on the first right. It's hilarious. It's hilarious. We used to say in the first rank

that a guy's Italian name sounded like it belonged on the side of the van with a phone number and that's also a guy wearing a t-shirt that says fence Some Italian guys you just know comes with a shirt that says fence and has a phone number of it Yeah, fence is phone number and then within

He told me that he didn't want to take the picture But then of course because business is always busy He asked me how big my property was If I needed a fence Yeah And I said I already got a fence coming in and it If anything goes wrong you let me know And then the way he would describe

the fence, he wouldn't call them companies. He wouldn't call them on the company. He'd go, who did your fence? The Albanians? Yeah. Yeah. Did you have the Albanians do it? Yeah.

Who did it? Yeah. Was it Polish or Mexicans did it? He just does it by race. Yeah, by race. It's how the guys do it. That's a 10 out of 10. It's very accurate.

It's very accurate. Yeah. And they're a little judgey on. Yeah, they go, the Albanians, they don't do the Albanians. You can't do the Albanians fence. I don't know what's about their work. They just don't do it right. They just don't do it right.

It is. You know, Ecuadorians. Those guys work their ass off. But then they might say Albanians do other things. Like if you want to do Albanians, that's where you do the kitchens with the Albanians. You do a kitchen with the Albanian, for sure. Yeah. You don't do the fence with them.

You do that with the Italian. And if you need yard work, if you got to get yard work, if you got to get yard work. If you got to get yard work. Yard work. You got to go Mexican for the yard work. For the yard work. Yeah, they're just better. Yeah, you go yard work.

You go Mexican. But I'm telling you if you need brick work, then you go Polish. Polish. Yeah. Those kids, they're just strong, hefty kids. They lift stone. Yeah, they lift stone. Good with that.

And then everything else, you want to get something real nice, mobile. You do it. You go Italian. If you need to do marble, you always go Italian. It's what it is. Today, we're going to talk about something you go if you don't want to get conquered. Yeah. There's certain people that are unconquerable.

And one of those groups, that's what, girls, what did you think of that? Give it a score, one to ten. Zero. Wow. Yeah. Well, they're a plus, see, my, unfortunately. You gave it a 22? 22. Now my girls are sucked into these devices and it's sad.

It's just sometimes, we just have to do it. We got to get through this. We got to do it. My kids are here and it's what it is. The interesting thing, Chrissy, some, I would say there's a couple of cultures that are unconquerable. Right. I would say the Jews is one of them. Yeah? Empires have risen and fall and the Jewish culture still around.

Same as it's always been. The Persians, I think the Persian culture is another one that has been conquered. by Islamic expansions. Yes. But the Persian culture is still strong and you can see it bubbling again. Right. Another one is the Greek.

Yeah. Yeah. You can't stamp it out. Yeah. You just can't, right? Yeah. So a lot of people don't know, actually, that the Islamic golden age,

most of the intellectuals from the Islamic golden age were actually Persian. Really? Yeah, from conquered Persian lands, the great old Persian Empire before. Modern day Iran. Modern day Iran used to be, you know, Cyrus. those days. And as they say, you know, Rome conquered Greece, but Greek conquered Rome culturally. I think the same can be said for Iran. It's that Islam conquered Persia, but Persia culturally conquered Islam. The brand of Islam there is very Persianized. So there's certain things. And then

you got a certain people, a lot of people don't know a lot about, that have a lot of pride in their clan or whatever. Yeah. And they used to be part. part of the full Yugoslavia. Yeah. Which used to be, I don't know. They're all, you know, miscellaneous whites down there. Sure. But to each other, they don't talk, right?

Right. Croats and the Croats, the Serbs and the Montenegrians. Montenegris. Tiny little country, big, big people with big pieces. I've seen it. Big pieces. Yeah, you got a friend who's a big, yeah. Go ahead.

I mean, you can put your head down. Put your head down. Here, give Danny his phone. You want to put your head down? Okay, you go a little sleepy weepy. No sleepy wee. So Montenegrones, Montenegrins. Montenegrians

Montenegrinos Montenegros Or is the Croatians call them slave Negroes I mean mountain Negroes Mountain Negroes Mountain Negroes Mountain Negroes

Mountain Negrates Montenegrins and yeah It's just what it is You understand that people That's the word That's their enemy Sometimes they

Sometimes they sing the song Montenegrins in Paris They go Montenegrio Montenegroyans That's what they're called They're mountain people They're mountain people So they live in the mountains, and these are people that just have been unconquerable.

Yeah. So nobody's been able to throw the yoke on these people because they can't jump that high. You need a step stool to throw a yoke on these people because they're, I think, the second or third tallest people. To all the world. Well, your friend Marco is Montenegrin, and he tried to throw you out a window. Yeah, he broke my nose. He had headbutted me in the face when we had a fist fight. Fist fight, and he tried to throw somebody out of a window.

He tried to throw Tim Fudd out of a window. It was like 6-8, right? Six-S. Tim Fudd is the father of Aziz Fudd. Who's Aziz Fudd? Connecticut. You con player. Really?

Yeah. One of the best players in the country. Oh, right now. Yeah. Yeah. That's her father is Tim Fud, who is the best player on our team. So now, so now, so Monteneges. I was a walk on that didn't make it.

So it wasn't really our team. It's what it is. Yeah. But you were there. I practiced with them. You were practiced with them. Yeah. And so now these, the Montenegrans, what we thought was interesting about them is you

can't conquer them. They're very, very tall people. The women are absolutely, are absolutely gorgeous. The guys have huge pieces, but not enough people talk about Montenegro. Yeah, they're not talking about, and Marco, they're uncut. They're uncut. I mean, they just got hoods. So he's got a hood. He's got a hood. He's like six foot five without a 12th. He's six eight. He's six foot eight. He's got a full hood. He's got a full hood and he laughed big when you farted at my wedding. It's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, and thank God. And he dropped 750 for you on the wedding. That's a nice gift. Because he's just the He gave you $7.50. No, I think he might have

give me a Tao. I gave you $750. You gave me $750 and he beat me. You gave me $300. It's what it is. I mean, what the fuck? I mean, he wasn't as rich as he is now, but he was still doing really good, I think, back then.

It's 2019. I think he could have went higher than $300. He gave me the same as Mike Fikian. It's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. Because I think he owes me a retroactive present and I think he owes me

some royalty points for coming up with Nate land. I created that. So sue him. I gave him that name. I would sue him. I'm going to fucking sue you, Mr. Lawler. I'm going to sue you. Here's the thing about...

Talk to me about the things. Here's the thing about Montenegro is a little show known as Game of Thrones was mostly filmed there. Did you know that? Are you serious? Yas. How did you know that you autistic kid? Yeah, a little more... Well, it was filmed some in Croatia, but some in Montenegro.

Wow. Yes. And Montenegro. So Serbia, so Montenegro is a coastal place. Gorgeous. Right? Because Croatia has a lot of the coast and then they blocked Serbia. Serbia, they only, they basically blocked the ocean, but a little piece of it is Montenegro.

That's right? The Serbian Montenegro is the same country, right? Well, they are, but they're like sovereign. It's like, it's called Serbia, Serbia Montenegro or like, yeah, it's like Italy and Sicily, right? Kind of like that. Yeah. there it is right there. Kosovo is right next to end.

And the Kosovo, I think those, they're must out. They're must out. So Montenegro, again, beautiful by the coast. But then if we're just being honest, it's surrounded by one big shithole. Way song chain. Montenegros. I mean, right? I don't know about that.

Yeah, but I mean, Kosovo, Sadahevo. I mean, these places are shitholes. Well, Sarajevo, there was, you know, big, big problems in Sarajevo. You know. Maybe they, maybe not anymore, but I mean, at one point, they were. Shitholes. I mean, it ain't Paris. Yeah.

It's not Paris, but, you know, Bulgaria is there. Bosnia has gone Vita. Yeah, I mean, you got Romania around in Bosnia. Shish, hole, shit hole, shit hole. You got Bulgaria and in Albania. It's what it is. Slavs. They're Slavic people.

They're mused out. Most of those countries are mused out besides Montenegro. No, most of those countries are Christian. No, no, no. Albania, Serbia, Serbia, Kosovo. They're mused out. I think Albania's like 50, 50, maybe 60, 40 mus. We've got to look it up.

Kosovo's mused out. I think Bosnia, I think they may be musted out. Serbia's, they're orthodox. And the Montenegrin's are orthodox. Bulgaria is mused out? Bulgaria is not mused out. Now, what's the difference between Greece and North Macedonia? Isn't that really just Greece?

Well, that's what the Macedonia? Alexander, the Great's from up there, but they're Slavs. All those upper Slavs. They're all Slavs. They just all sectioned off and they kill each other. They fight. But they're all Slavs. I would actually love to go Slovenia, Croatia.

Obviously, I'm just kidding about the being shitholes. I'm just doing a bit. But because they actually are beautiful places. Yeah. And you see there, I've been to Budva. Gorgeous on the state right there. No, Budva is the city in Montenegro. It's right on the...

You went with Marco? I went to Marco. Yeah, I went there. Yeah, I went there. Is Budva beautiful on the other? Gorgeous. Gorgeous. Pull up a little picture of Budva.

Budva's nice. And let me tell you. tell you something because when I, the people over there, I felt like Alice in Wonderland because I went, when I went, I went from Italy where everyone's very short, right? They're kind of squeakish. Yeah. And then I went from Italy and we flew to Montenegro and then I was a squeak. It's just what is.

I mean, they are literally, I think it's the Danish Montenegro and some tribe in Africa are the three tallest people in the world. So on average, their chicks are like five, nine average. You'll see chicks like six foot, six one, nice long legs. I mean, these people are gorgeous, cuz. Now, do they do flights into Montenegro? You get slingshot. Ways on the game.

I think you can take a, you gotta take a slings shot. You got to take a sling shot to a coach like that. Italy or something like that. Yeah, they're not flying in there. There's not a lot of direct flights to Montenegro. You got to do a connecting slingshot. Yeah, you got to just what it is. Now, here's a thing.

Nice. My boy, Marco, is a handsome kid. And when he was young, he was real handsome. And here's a- He blew out a little bit now. he still looks good. He almost got killed in Times Square. He almost got killed in Times Square by that guy with the car, which was wild. If you go watch that video, listen to this.

This is a true story. It's so wild that it was him. So there was a infamous thing where a guy in Times Square drove his car onto the side and hit a bunch of people. This was like, what, eight years ago? Something like that, yeah. And the first guy that jumps out of the way, he's unmistakable in the video because he's so big was Marco. He said, you know, he said he, because he was a professional basketball player. He said he used the juke move to, like he was able to use a first step to get out of there.

Yeah. Yeah. So he almost got hit by that guy first. Yeah, he was the first guy who almost got hit. It's what it is. And then he moved and other people got hit. It's what it is. Yeah.

So, but he's a real good looking guy in college. It's a fun story, right? So I was trying out for the team, so I knew him. And he would like, he was an academic All-American. He's a real smart kid. But he would sit by himself and he would eat ice cream. He would, like, space out. And Montenegrans are just tough people.

Yeah. Right? Like, so during practice, he would just start throwing blows at somebody. He would just start throwing blows, kicking and punching. Yeah. They would bang in the post, and then he would just fight someone, and then he would be over, and then he'd play and then he'd fight someone else. Yeah. I mean, he headbutted me in the face.

Yeah. Just what it is. And so he'd be sit there with this mean look on his face, he had his chain out of there, and he was licking his eye. And he was licking his eye, like, yeah. Right? And he would use, his hair was always, like, a little shiny because he would put, like, grease in his hair. and I was sitting with this gay guy from my floor on my dorm floor I was friends with and he was just looking at him

and the gay guy just looked at him and he goes oh only a sound a gay guy could make like he came from like in his gut he's like oh he's so fuckable and I started dying and Marco looked over and he never knew and I told him later what he said and it was funny and then he was disgusting no he's funny because Marco has gay music tastes he likes the pet shop boys big Nick. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Biggin' to the Pet Shop Boys. So he's a little, he got a little neck. I think what happens is when you're a smart kid, you're just, there's a little gay spray on you. Yeah, it's just how it goes. Like in Montenegro, because he's such a small guy, they assume he's a gay man. I think he's like the you from Ridgewood, they just go, he must have got nicked. Right. But the only difference is Mark will just headbutt you'll bite you.

Yeah. He'll just get on you. Yeah, it's just a little crazy. It's crazy. Yeah, just a little crazy. One time I thought he was going to kill our other friend. Yeah. Because my other friend was an alcohol.

And he threw vodka in his face, and I thought he was going to kill him. And I had to stop him. Yeah. But Montenegro is interesting because the Ottomans couldn't get it. They tried and they tried because they would call them like mountain monsters or something. And these guys would just, they would eat them up. Who do you think would win in a fight Montenegrins versus the Vikings? Very similar.

But I think, I think, more famous. Yeah, I think that, I think. The Macedonia, I mean the Montenegrans, I think the Ottomans actually called them mountain giants. So they had a lore about them. And they were like, we just can't conquer these people? Because mountainous areas are just, can you make it bigger? So mountainous areas are very hard to conquer. So obviously they come.

The Montenegrans are southern Slavs. Right. Because Slav is the word slave. Comes from Slav. Yeah, because the Ottomans, it comes from the word Slav, because the Ottomans just used to enslave these kids. It's what it is. And so they would just, instead of calling them a slave, they just called how many Slavs do you got? Right.

And it just became slaves. Right. So, but the Montenegrans, they couldn't get. It was a little tribe of Slavs they couldn't get. These kids were just big, big boys. Yeah, I mean, they got the Albanians big. Big. They got the Greeks big.

Yeah. They got all the other ones big, but they couldn't. This was like a little oasis in the middle of it that they just could not conquer. They kept trying. They kept trying. They kept trying and they couldn't get it. So we're, you know, we're talking about the Balkan Peninsula. And, um,

You know, they're Orthodox Christian. They speak Serbo-Croatian. So the Croats speak that language, the Serbian speak it, the Montenegrin speak it. And they had a big medieval kingdom there called Zeta. Yeah. They had Zeta.

Yeah, under King Mihalio. And then it was absorbed by the Serbs. So that's where they come together. And it was absorbed into the Serbian dynasty empire. but it's got this like very famously mountainous terrain that has always kind of fostered an autonomy. That's what makes it unique is that the mountains aren't impossible to control. So sometimes because geography is destined.

It is. Look at Afghanistan. Can't be conquered because of the mountains. And we can't be conquered because of the oceans. Yeah. Jesus loves certain places. Yeah. Well, once we get Greenland, we're, nobody's fucking with us.

Do you know what the reason is too with Greenland? Why? Why? How important that is? All I know is I saw Miss. Greenland and I was like, get it. Got it. She was a piece. Get it. What is it?

So because any nuclear ballistic missile that would be shot our way from Russia or China, all of them, the trajectory, like 85% of them have to go over the Arctic Circle, Greenland. So with this iron dome that the United States is trying to build, Greenland is imperative to own that because then they can build that iron dome over Greenland

and they can't get the nuke over Greenland. And if they can't get the nuke over Greenland, It's very difficult to get them any other way, and you're almost like pretty much 100% protected. Yeah. I mean, we're going to, whichever way you slice it, we're getting Greenland. Yeah, so what is, we're going to take it?

But what is the actual thing? Because he didn't say that we got it. It's like, what happened at Davos? Do we have it or do we happen at Davos? What happened at Davos is? The conference in Switzerland's where it gave everyone a talking to. That's what happens, right? It's so wild.

Yeah. Yeah, he was just like, you're all mooching off of us. You're all shit. You all owe us money. Yeah. We're getting out of here. We're pulling out of who. The World Health Organization.

You're ripping us off. We're looking to do fair. He's like, I'm looking at a few of you right now. I've been very nasty to me. You've been very nasty. And he said that for me. Well, I mean, have you seen it? No.

He was talking, he goes, you won't even make eye contact with me. A few of you in this room have been very nasty to me. Ripping me off. And McCrone, I like McCrone. He's a good guy. I do like McCrone. But he says, no, Donald, we can't do that. We're not going to do that.

Guess what? I said, if you don't do it, we're going to slap a tariff on you. And guess what? He did it. They all do it. They all do it. Yeah. It's all been nasty.

You've been ripping us off. And you've been nasty. Oh, my God. It was hilarious. So what is the status right now? We have Greenland. We do not have Greenland. No.

And we're not going to get Greenland. We're offered them, buddy. I think the offer was what, like 70 bill, 700 bills, something like that. And then every, there's only 30,000 people on there, like 35,000 people. And then each one of those people would get 100, 100 K KKKKK. Ish. Yeah. So that was the offer.

So they want it. The people want it. No, the people don't. I think some may, but most, I think no. Denmark is going like, no. But Denmark, is Denmark really involved in Greenland? This is kind of a weird thing. It's like, it's not, Denmark doesn't really own it outright either.

No, no. Nobody actually owns it. No, it's just. It's the people there. Greenland. Yeah, it's kind of Greenland, but it's 30,000 folks. So do you think is there's less people, there's more people, there's more people in Bay Ridge. It's just what it is. Greenland. Yeah, $30,000 isn't even like one barbecue at my house. Yeah, it's not a lot of people. So I, because I feel like the media has been deliberately, like, confusing about this. I don't know what the status is from, from this Davos conference. I don't know. They said that like they were in negotiations, but it's not like there's front page news. U.S. now has Greenland. What is the status, Jesse? Do we know what's going on? What, yeah, what are they saying?

Trump said he made a deal. Trump said he made a... What does that mean? Well, that's Trump for you, right? And they made a very good deal. They're going to greet everything we say. You know, you know, you know how he is. I know at some point he did say they call me a dictator.

He goes, I am a dictator and sometimes you need a dictator. Yeah. So he's wild. He's a wild, he's a wild boy. He's like, sometimes you need one and I have one. He doesn't care anymore. Yeah. He just doesn't care.

He just doesn't care. I mean, it's got to feel wild to be him, right? Yeah. It's got to feel pretty insane. It is insane. Can you find out what that is? And while you do, I'll just tell you a little quick history. And let you just read the email from the...

Listen, we'll be right back after this. Me and Yonar's going to read some emails. Can I tell you something, Christopher? Yeah. I would be dead broke if it wasn't for Rocket Money. Because Rocket Money is the personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

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So I don't need, you know, you don't need your own if you're in the same house. You're in the same house. And also it's helped me because I moved so much. I have about 18 Connette account still active. And Rocket Money has helped me save money on them by closing some of them down so they can help you to let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at RocketMoney.com slash hyenas. That's RocketMoney.com slash hyenas.

RocketMoney.com slash hyenas. This right here is for our fans who are a little classy and want to look good. Rag and Bone is one of my favorite brands, period, before they started sponsoring our show. The kid was outfitted in Ragginbone. I got a Ragged Bone pair of sneakers. And they sent to some cute, super cute. cute clothing. Because rag and bone is amazing. I've been

put on to it. Now, I'm not a cultured kid. I'm a kid deep from queen. So when Ragginbone started coming on the show, I thought it was a dog store. But now I know it's a beautiful clothing store and the owners of it live very close to Jesse. We actually know the Brownstone, so we're going to come bring your bell. Now, I got some nice jeans that were sent. Like, here's the thing.

Jeans, you think like, oh, they're just whatever. Ragginbone jeans are the best. These look super cute and they make you look upscale. So Ragginbone makes you just look super cute. Yeah. Okay. So what you got to do is if you like

super cute stuff, you like super cute jeans, you like super cute clothes. All right? You want to check out Raggandbone's infuse collection because it overdoes it with the design. Bottom line is if you're into super cute guys like us, then you need to go to

Ragenbone. It's time to upgrade your denim with Ragenbone. For a limited time, our listeners get 20% off their entire order. I'm hitting it. I'm telling you, I'm hitting my own thing. Use that code hyenas at rag dash bone.com. That's 20% off at rag dash bone.com. promo code hyenas. When they ask what you heard about them, please support our show and let them know we sent you. So basically, let's talk about Montenegro versus the Ottomans because that was the very, what makes the Montenegrans very interesting. Right. Yeah, these fucking Montenegrin. Yeah, these Montenegrines,

from the 15th to the 19th century, they were going up against the Ottomans, right? So it was one of the fewer years, like I said, that the Ottoman Empire just couldn't get, even though they constantly kept trying. And when you can't get it, it means you really want. It means you really want it. They wanted it more.

Yeah, they were chasing it. They couldn't get it. And it's because these Montenegrans have like a very warrior-like culture. Right. These guys are crazy. So they never really got control And the highlands remained Self-governing no matter what they tried

And Montenegro continued to function As a tribal federation Confederation And they used guerrilla warfare They would just abuse these They would just pluck these Ottomans off These at night They would like just come out

And these giants would just come out of the mountains And just like real They'd make shish kebab Yeah it's what it is made Donar sandwiches out of these kids. What it is. With frequent ambushes, they refused to pay taxes. And the Ottomans just tried multiple times to launch as much cruelty as you can,

but they couldn't do anything. Because they were getting hit with axes and then their pieces. They were just like it was almost like fighting Vikings. They were like, they were crazy. And also Serbia and Russia also fought with them too. but, you know, it's just, they have that clan culture up there where warfare was just part of their identity. Yeah, yeah.

So they were just warriors. And they became a real, like, symbol of, like, resistance against the musseys. The musse. Yeah, the muzzies just couldn't get them. Yeah. So, you know, it's an interesting thing to compare them to the Vikings because they are kind of Viking-like. Yeah, it is pretty interesting, too, just being a comedian, how it's like how our lives can be so different. Like, we're here doing this, you know, like leaning in chairs.

My kids are in a beanbag, we're waiting for pizza, and Shane's got five shows sold out of Madison Square Garden. He's got five, right? Five. Yeah. Yeah, and we're just sitting here reading Montenegro and facts off Chachy Pee-D. It's just what it is, because, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but I'd rather be us.

Yeah, me too. Yeah, me too. I'd rather be a soul, Jules. the night before his wedding. Yeah, that's what it is. Sold's all had to cancel his bachelor party to Puerto Rico this weekend. Oh, he did.

He asked me if I wanted to go. Did I go to Puerto Rico every day? Why is that because ice is down there? Well, because, yeah, there's ice in the sky and ice on the streets. So the way the Ottomans talked about them was pretty funny. They called them rebellious and insubordinate. They called them bandits and they called them people of disorder. Yeah.

And they were repeatedly described as probably. out-sides outsiders who refuse to behave like subjects. What it is. And these people do not accept order. They called them mountain savages. Yeah, it's what it is. They call them mountain savages and they sometimes would change out the word savage to something a little worse. Say something.

They would say something else. Crude people, but dangerously capable in their mountains. These are some of the quotes from some of the Islamic writers at the time. They were described as fanatically Christian, deeply loyal to their Orthodox clergy and just resistant to the... They were resistant. They had an immunity to the virus. It's just what it is.

The straight didn't affect them. Is Marco fanatically Christian? No. He's more atheist. That's personal, I guess, to him. Interesting. Yeah. So some Ottoman governors complain that they submit with their tongues,

but not with their hearts. That's a polite way of saying, they lied to us. Yeah. and they were known to fight to the death and they preferred annihilation to submission. Here's some more quotes. These people are impossible.

Another one, this land is not worth the cost. Yeah. These are all quotes. Can you, Jesse, pull up an ancient Montenegrin what they looked like? Yeah. I want to see what they looked like. This is just what it is.

And the throat in point hump. Here's another one. Another quote from an Ottoman military guy. They are poor, stubborn mountain Christians who refuse order, refuse taxes, refuse conversions, and cannot be crushed without wasting men and money. So they were just eaten. They were just eating these Turks. It's just one.

Yeah, I mean, look at them. They're big boys. We've got a picture of one up here. I mean, this guy's just about to behead somebody else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's just what it is. Yeah, these Montenegrins are, I mean, I know Marco, I knew a couple of other guys who are from Montenegro. They are just big.

There's been a few dudes in the NBA. from Montenegro. Yes, yes. A lot of basketball players come out of Montenegro and Serbia. Lerl. Uh, Jokic is from Serbia, right? Yes.

He's another big boy. Yes. Yes. Yes. For the season? Yes. What did he do again? Just for a month.

Oh, it's just a month? He banged up his knee. He's got bruised. Yeah. Yes. I mean, if I know we're talking about Montenegris, but I mean, Jokic is, I think actually people don't understand

might be the best, you might put up the best stats of all time. He might. It might actually be the best NBA player of all time. Yeah. And I think a lot of Montenegrans end up playing professional basketball because Montenegro means they're people of the Black Mountain. Is that what it is?

People of the Black Mountain. So the thing is, it's just no matter what edge of the earth you're in, people find a way to get a little racist. Yeah, they do. Yeah. The Ottomans said it was a land that devours armies. The mountain itself fights alongside them. Right.

So they had a, like, they were like a boogeyman to the Ottomans. Like they just put in. They killed wounded enemies. They preferred death. And one guy said there's no victory here, only survival. Priests command warriors. Priests carried weapons, bishops, ordered killings. Yeah, they just were not to be fucked with.

You don't fuck with them. You don't fuck with them. By the way, priests just trying to get wild now. I saw a video of a priest DJing the other night. That's a real DJ. Yeah. You see this guy? I did see that.

Yeah. So it's just, yeah, honey. I know. We've been here for a long time, honey. We're almost done. All we have, baby, is the pizza's going to come And then we're going to read out the Patreon names Oh my God

Oh my God Yeah, honey, so So I'll tell you a funny story Tell me. So Marco took us to this like mountain village In Montenegro In Montenegro. Did you have a shirt off?

No, he did it. First of all, when we got there This was like right Before Clinton decided to like bomb over there. Okay. So, oh, you went in the 90s? Yeah, 90s. 99.

Yeah, you were young, yeah, you're just an old kid. Yeah, so it was me and Todd Robinson, who was black. Yeah, who didn't give you anything for your wedding.

So everyone, back then, the internet wasn't a big thing. So these people had never seen a African American. So everyone was pointing at him and just yelling Jordan. Kids would yell Jordan.

They'd take pictures of them, take pictures with him. Wow. Because they'd never seen a black person. But he's a big boy too, though, right? Six one. He's about your height. And he's big.

He was, you know, but, you know, 6-1, so big. But there, I mean, he's just average. Wow. But they were just going, Michael Jordan, Michael Jordan, and then they would just take pictures of him like he was a celebrity. Wow. Because he was, all they knew was Michael Jordan.

So he took us to this mountain village, and we met this guy there that Marco and his friend. It was beautiful. It's very rural, dude. I mean, you're talking about, like, people eating animals outside, like very rural into the mountain. We were in. We went where the Montenegrans live.

Like, it wasn't a big tourist area, but the tourist areas a little bit are like Boudva, things like that. We weren't, I can't remember the name of it. But we went to this mountain village, and we met this guy, right, who Marco knew. And he was like the crazy guy in the town, but not crazy like in a non-dangerous way. Right. Crazy and like a dangerous way. Okay. But Marco knew him.

So we heard. What would he do? That was crazy. I'll tell you this story right now because this is as leaky as you get. Yeah. This is as leaky as you. get. So after we left him, and I was like, so who is that guy? He was like, yeah, that guy, he's, he's, he's off. People, you know, treat him well because it's very dangerous and it's

just what it is. And he was a big guy. And so there was this one story told. So he goes, this is a famous thing that happened in the town. He was at some pub, some bar or whatever or like restaurant there. Everyone's drinking, you know, and this guy was playing darts, right? So this guy, who we met, who we hung out with goes over none of them spoke a lick of english so i don't know what any of them were saying right so marco was telling us so the guy this guy goes over to the guy playing darts and he goes what are you doing and he goes what he mean i'm doing i'm playing darts he goes no what are you doing to the dartboard he goes i'm i'm playing darts and he goes he goes how would how would you feel if i if i threw it at you how do you think the dart door feels it's like

hurting the dartboard. Okay. So he was like, and then he took the darts and he started stabbing the guy with the darts. Yeah. Because he said he was defending the dartboard. Right. He said that he were hurting the dartboard. Yeah.

And he wasn't thinking about the dartboard's feelings. And then he said he turned the guy into a dart board. It's what it is. So the guy would learn a lesson about what the dart was feeling. Did he kill the guy? I don't know. I don't remember if he killed the guy. But he started throwing the darts at the guy.

It's what it is that's called the leaky room. It's what you call fully. fully blown off roof. Yeah. And our pizzas here will be right back. That's what it is. Ooh, because tell me about factors. I was getting fat.

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And I love subscribing to Lucy so I can keep, you know, I don't have to worry about re-up it. Because that's a big problem us nicotine users know. Yeah. It's like when you run out, you turn the house upside inside because I'll put a paper towel in my mouth. I need something in my mouth. So Lucy always has me covered.

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Lucy products are only for adults' legal age, and every order is age verified. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. All right, my daughter turned off the mic. Honey, I get you pizza. We saved you the last slice. Me and Anteani saved you the last slice.

Yeah. Delilah's not turning anything. on? Well, can you put young Sheldon on for your sister, Delilah? Sweetie. Can you put young Sheldon on? For your sister? On the iPad? I know, but can you just do it? We're almost done, honey, and then we're going to go, okay? And then we're going to get... She wants to watch Young Sheldon with you. She loves you. All right. Speaking of love, um, Montenegrins, Yanni. Yeah, what a bottle. I mean... What?

Delilah, can you please just put on Youngshel? What girl keeps texting you? Okay, she's to bother. Just ignore her. Just ignore her. Say that I'm with my dad and my Titi and I'm listening to them do their podcast about Montenegro. Tell them that. And then say, I need to watch Youngshel do my sissy.

Yeah. Come on. Because we always do this. We always break to eat pizza and then we're too tired to do the rest of the episode. All we have to do is muscle it out. I say we just start reading the Patreon names. We could start doing that, but let me just say some facts. That help.

Bangers of the Patreon names. Facts help too. Yeah. Montenegro is actually an independent. You know what's the fact that you're a P? I'm a P. So are you. Yeah.

Montenegro is actually an independent country since 2006. Oh, wow. That they all, it depends of people. Yeah. Serbia is a separate country. They have diplomatic relations, but also they have tensions with each other. Montenegro, I mean, I want to go big, but that's what we call a boys trip. That's a boy's trip because it's a tough place.

And here's the thing, they have never successfully been conquered. It's what it is. The Venetians had some coastal towns like Budfa, which I've been for a little while. The Ottomans nominally occupied it, they said, but they really didn't. Because what's a Venetian from Venice? From Venice. So Venice used to be their own country? Yeah, Venice used to be its own little empire.

They also conquered. They were all over the plate. They were in Crete. They were running around the Venetians. Whoa. Have you ever been to Venice? Cause. Is it a cute city?

Never been there and I want to go. Girls, do you want to go to Venice? Where do you girls want to go on vacation? Potatoes try to do. Paris or Hawaii? I want to go to. Or Argentina? Ooh, little Nazi.

You want to go to K-pop Dimeon? Do you want to go to a little country called Korea? Do you want to go to Montenegro? Would you want to go to Montenegro, girls? No? Okay. It's a beautiful country with big, tall, beautiful people. No.

Um, all right, Caz. Well, because one of the big, one of the big, one of the big cities. in Montenegros? We will starve, but we will not kneel. Yeah. It's just what it is. It's just what it is. You want to play with those people?

No. Do you want to play with Montenegrans in the sand? Here's the thing because I'm just going to be honest with you is I know I don't even have to do The Ancestry.com. I know for a fact I'm not Montenegrin because I absolutely will kneel. Yeah, you don't have any of it. I was scared little boy. Yeah, you don't have any of that Viking stuff to you.

No. Or the German stuff. Yeah, you just ran inside when you saw it. deer. I ran inside when I started of a deer with the dog. I started running away and I left my daughter

and the dog outside. Yeah, I mean, what is that about? Because I get scared of wildlife. I get scared in the area I live in because there's deer because when I think there's deer then I think there's bears.

Yeah, you know, it's interesting because some of the toughest kids from the city, like, especially minorities, they're scared of the country. Yeah. They're scared of like wildlife and stuff because we only grow up with squirrels.

It's all we see. And pigeons and that's it. Squirrels, rats, pigeons. cockroaches. I feel safer around a crackhead than a deer. Yeah, exactly. It's weird. Now, would you trade stink buds for cockroaches or you haven't experienced stink bugs yet? No, stink bugs are in the house. They're relentless, cuz. And they don't start, and they come in the winter, yeah, they're like the Chinese bugs. They don't give up. No, what happens with a stink? If you, if you crush it, it'll stink? It makes a little stink, but some people are impervious

to it. I must be pretty smelly because it don't bother me, none. It don't bother me. I don't I don't smell anything, but I pop them quick. Once or twice a week, one of the girls, yes, honey. Delilah, honey, can you please just put on Young Sheldon for your sister? We're almost done. Put something else on. We need K. Pock and the Demon Hunters. Can you put K-Pop and the Demon Hunters?

Can you put anything on? I like to call it Tupac and the Demon Hunters. Come on. Oh. You don't watch it anymore? You're big girls now? That's for a little babies. That's for little babies.

Not for grown-ups like you. Um, guess what? Guess what? Guess what? Guess what? Guess what? Guess what? I have two dogs.

I have two dogs. She's going to take potato. She's going to take Jersey's dog. You're going to take your dog. That's it. Now, what would happen? Now, what side does that come from? That she wants the dogs?

Yeah, that she could take it. That she's going to take a dog. Yeah. That's sunset park. That's from that sunset park. Yeah. That used to be your dog. That was my dog.

Now that's shit. It's mine. Trick you? Yeah, she, first time she ever met Sergio, she thought it was her uncle. So it's just what it is. She thought Sergio was a member of the family. Because she's got the most beautiful smile. She's a beautiful, beautiful girl.

She's a beautiful girl. I know. Got a great sunny disposition. A guy came up to us at the mall two weeks ago and asked if she wanted to be a model. I said, get away from my kid. Yeah. Get away from me and my kid. The answer is no. The answer is no.

Get out of here. You know what it is? She looks like she's from the 70s, my daughter. Yeah. She's got like seven. these vibes to her. Yeah. And she's playing with the whooping cushion.

Playing with the whoopick cushion. Yeah, you like that? It makes fart noises. Nope. Can't be a camera. Yeah. Then she went the other way. Cause you better keep boxing because you got two beautiful daughters.

You're going to have to protect them. You can't run away. If you're going to run away for beer, what are you going to do? It's what it is. If there's guys. Because I hope. I just hope and pray that my daughter. is are just

it would be easier it'd be easier if they were just right because here's the thing do you know there's a lot of there's a lot of domestic violence in the lesbian community which I couldn't believe

the most domestic abuse happens amongst I gotta be honest with you if my daughter and there was a domestic abuse situation I'd go over to their house and I'd beat the shit out of for touching my

daughter. I would just lay hands on that. Yeah, yeah, it would just be easier. It would just be easier because, you know, because the truth is if she was in a heterosexual relationship and her husband put hands in her and if he was a big guy that could throw hands, I might just not, you know, know what to do. Right. I might have to call Tommy and then, or I might just have to call a lawyer.

Yeah. But if it was a woman? Yeah. I just, when I get scared, I want to go in Tommy Galucci's lap. Yeah. Yes, honey. I put something on. She's deciding.

No. Why did you put on? It's not like Roefox. It's not Roelhock. Something I need to do for school. All right, Delilah, can you please turn off Gimkit or whatever it is? And just for five minutes put on Young Sheldon for her, please. Can you just do it so we can get through this?

You just got no leverage as a dad. It's just that's when you need the mom to come in. And they just listen to Mom, they don't listen to Dad. Well, because what mom will do is just take the iPad out of their hands and threaten to drop it off of four-foot stories. And this is what it is, you know, with girls, it's just the way it goes is the mothers do all the work with girls. The mothers actually do a lot of the rearing. But then the girls love their dad. And I think the reason is because they're all women, essentially.

And I think the whole goal of women is to knock off the queen. It's just what it is. So when they grow up, they got to knock off the queen. And they always fight with the mothers. You ever hear daughters and mothers? Yeah, they fight big. My five-year-old and my wife already fight, and my mother-in-law, I mean, my wife and my mother-in-law go at it. They didn't talk for months.

They go at it. Yeah. Yeah. One time they just had a physical altercation. It's really. And then they both came to me, like, it was slightly. And then they came to me. And they were like, they were telling me what they did.

They're like trying to prove the other side. I was like, get me out of here. I don't know. I don't want any part of this. Yeah. I mean, you had the wig on. You were doing cameos. Yeah.

I mean, the women just, they go at each other. Because have you noticed that? Oh, yeah. They already, I mean, because here's the truth this, too, as fathers. It's like, I just want my kids to have a good time. I really don't care. Right. Like, stay on the iPad, eat ice cream.

I just want you to have a good time, baby. Right. We just want to have fun for fun. I was okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Women are like, now. Now he's like this way.

This way. This way. And these are the rules. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm just like, yeah. I mean, who cares? Yeah, but that's what kind of actually keeps them healthy because if it was just us,

they'd be eating donuts every night for dinner. Yeah. I mean, I don't think I've ever said no to them when she was like, she wants donuts and pizza. I'm like, me too, babe, let's cool. But mom, but jazz has to come and say we have to, all their plates. Always have the little vegetables, a little protein. Yeah. She's very healthy, right?

She's more healthy, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I was eating tortellini out of the pot with my hands last night. You were, right? Where to God? Yeah. And my girls just look at me.

Yeah. And a lot of times what my girls will do is they won't finish their food and they'll just all slide their plates to me. Yeah. They just know what to do that. You know, I'm telling you, dude, you're fighting again. the current man, you don't have the genes or the DNA to be able to eat the way

you keep trying to make yourselves eat. You just, what you got to do is control the sweets. So you're a guy who just needs like a big turkey. Like, I mean, you're a big kid. You need food. Multiple doctors now, multiple fitness guys. It's just the sweets you have a freaking problem with.

One of them being Tank Sinatra. Stop being such a fruit loop with the sweets. I can't stop being sweets. But they said, It's time for GLP ones. It's time to just go on OZempic or go on Moongaro, just microdose it and do it because that controls the sweets craving. And the bad part about sweets is your A1C, your blood sugar.

And that's what GLP ones do. They lower that. Have you ever tried just fruit to satiate it? Then I dip it in chocolate. Yeah. So what are you just? Yeah. And how about my dad?

You know, he lost all this weight three years ago, right? And then I, you know, he lost all this weight. He said he just started eating half a tuna sandwich, whatever. And then I was looking to do his medication. He's at the house. He's been on Ozempic for three years. He didn't even know. He didn't even know he was on some type of, he was on semi-glutite.

Because he's the original reality as a suggestion. It's just what it is. Yeah. Yeah. So he was taking credit, but the kid had what it called step stool. Yeah, should I do a little Ozempi? I don't know if I would look at you and go, you're a guy who needs Ozempi. You're just a guy who needs to put down the black and white and just do once a week or something.

You can't do every day sweets. Sweets are for birthday parties. They're for parties because I don't eat sweets ever unless there's a party. Should I do maybe sweets? Should I try to just to wean off and say I could do sweets three days a week? And then we'll start to get it down to two to one. Yeah. Three days a week is when I do sweets.

Yeah, but there should be no reason you're having a grown man should be having sweets three times a week. So I shouldn't have been. The only people that do that are kids. Yeah. So I shouldn't have had, I shouldn't have had my birthday cake. They struggle with a big. I shouldn't add my daughter's birthday cake slices today. No, you didn't need that.

No. Yes, what's up, honey? I smell. But they're doing their nails. They're doing their nail polish. All right, let's get to these. Can you guys do my nails next? You want to do Yanni's feet?

All right, let's do the Patreon names. As always, you go to patreon.com slash history. Hi, Heenas. If you want to join the matriarchy, we read the best names of the newest members. You win, you go to Historyanis is back.com. So your name of them lights. The best things ever are happening at the Patreon. I got extra bonus content, and we're adding more bonus content because we're doing an extra day a week.

So go join. $5 gets you in. Catch your name red. Here we go. My box is so patriotic. Call me Toby Kweef. Welcome. Good one.

Jesse Carlton, weekly prostate exam. This guy needs one every week. That's a Drexler. It's funny. Can't wait to see Janus in the Odyssey. Okay. John Gurusitch. That's funny.

Cyclops. So a nice one. Oh, good one. Drexler. Did you think? Drexler. Foley's back fat. Okay.

Tim Smith, 4487. Latter 14, make me flick my bean, Wei Shancheon. Gotcha. I'm not rich, but when Patel comes, I finally get cash out of my ass. Okay. Good one. Drexler. Then we got I touched Epstein.

Okay. Hanukkah wrapping paper, a.k. butcher paper. Okay. I'll get that one. Morni Hyman's. Mogle hemorrhoids. Mobile hemorrhoids? Mogul.

Hemorrhoids? A mogul hemorrhoids. Eastern Hemmy underneath the bed wearing stockings. Put them on the list. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool on the list. Funny visual. Yeah, that's Janip if he was in Eastern Hemmy. Yeah. Dakota Burson's John Ford.

Thought I found a cute frisbee golf course in Palestine. Not what I was expecting. Drexler. Decent fumes from my sweat and glue still. Okay. Matrism. Rachel Lush, Cody, Bauer, burnt, not reaching the tissue box in time

and wondering where the first shot landed. The tender. Yeah, catapult. Yeah. Yes, honey. Yes, yes, yes. What thing is spilling? Oh, pick it up, pick it up.

Delilah, pick it up. Okay, put it up, put it up on the counter, Violet. It's okay. You got it? All right, yeah. Yanni doesn't clean his apartment. No, this place has seen a lot worse. Yeah.

Sorry about that. It's actually a good place to, have kids. Yeah. Yeah. It's just like everything. Just do what you want. Dakota Bursons, John Ford, Reese Minen, Alex Baldiga. So what I, oh, sorry, a lot lizard busted me balloon knot. A lot lizard busted my balloon knot. A lot lizard? A lot lizard is when you are a truck driver and you pull off to those parking lots and there's prostitutes. Oh. Yeah. It's a lot lizard and a lot of them are gay. And what is that again? A lot. A lot lizard busted my balloon knot. Okay. Drexler. It. Okay. Chris Tudor, George Peterson, Anthony Corello,

flat earther, because I believe in ice and walls. Yeah, put them on. Yeah, but I think the first shot is clear. Toby Tyler, Thomas von de Boomgard. Wondering where the first shot landed is hilarious. Yeah. That yoppel dog, Mandabi ate Netanyahu's pet parakeet. Okay.

Taco about my sushi. Mr. A-Z-T. Penal Code OU-812. R. A. Shafir's illegitimate half-Jew love child. Justin Robertson, Kareem Harb, Christian McGinnis, the Donner Party,

hottest DP ever. Never them, but always them. Okay. Then we got... Oh, never them, but always them, I think it's a walked into one. Okay. Got it. I got that one. Just here for the content.

Porter Kirsch. I want to sit between Yanni's eyes. You're going to need a small seat. Yeah, it's what it is. Proud dad of a Somali daycare grad. List. List. Okay, list.

Okay, list. Okay, list. Contender. Wow. Yeah. So we got somebody. We got a race. Good rib scheme funny.

Narim Ali. Octavio Valdovinoz. Stephen Mitchell. Alex DeFoy. Farting my outfit clean off my body. Kids got some gas. The bigger the fupah, the tastier the chalupa, SLO-K-S. Very funny.

There's a sulfur smell coming from my basement. I think there might be... Ways on change. This cries, walk into one. Yeah. Bin Laden's Flight School Valedictorian. Jason Capono. Jason Copono is a shooter.

There you go. Welcome. Matthew Darner. Daniel Smith. I bet you it's really him. How many Jason Caponos are there? No looking candy put it for UCLA. Yeah. And they play for the heat, right?

Yeah. The cinnamon dinner finisher. Whipping my weasel to AOC, goyslop, and still raw from the Dr. Fauci Sciop. Okay. Hollywood and NYC. These kids of the internet are way in the internet.

It's wild. Can't wait for the spring so I can light up the grill and frisbee of brisket. Okay. Walk in a one. Don these. Yeah. Sean Battle, Jacob Ogall, James Drummond. Ordered carryout.

And all I got. My ordered carry out and Ali got my order Wong. List. Okay. Yeah. List. Yeah. List.

On the beam stream, incognito Latino. Ooh, good rhyme scheme. Chicken finger. Wepa Guadalpama. Frisbee wedza Leroy. Now our kids are Annette and Yuhus. Decent. Decent.

Moving the vegetables till I don't care. She's a he. I like. It's what it is. Drexler. Anthony Carroll, Dombova, Cliff Hackney, me Chinese, me no dumb, me hack credit card for the sub. Uh-huh. Tort a Pounder.

I like that. He hacked the credit card to enjoy this. I like it. I like it. I like it. Torter Pounder, Newbie and Queen Cracker. Tom. Newbie Queen Cracker.

All right. Mom Donnie's mom, Donnie. Trump 2028. Daniel Chavez, Sebastian Marr. Nathaniel, Kindle Sparker. Nosferatu. Mongo. Go Blue.

My name is Albert. My name is Alberto. Don't call ice. I will do one more. Branded Diamond, Alki, Jewish glue, aka Frisbee, a Jew. Picking up my son, nephew

from Somala, Leroy Daycare, Gary Gwellker, Destiny Johnston, Catherine Parameter, Catherin, only glue guns fix my leaky roof, Nicholas McKenna, Ryan Flack.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, only glue guns fix my leaking roof. The kid needs some poles to feel sane. It's what it is. I like that one. You want to put it on the list? Only glue guns fixed my release because it's a pun. I get it.

Because the glue glens seals the roof. I get it. But what he's saying is he needs guys to feel sane. Yeah, that's what it is. I like it. I'm going to Drexler it. Great. Ryan Flanagan, Ghetto, Gaggers,

Miggie, Omar Medeiros, Von Schingleman. Straight to the back. Welcome. Yep. CG combat. Lane Salig. Who's the flyest piece of all time? Parakeet Poppice, Queen Cucatel. The Real Slim Shady 14. Soul Gross. L.Roy Elbow and Knee Cream LLC. Jesus.

Nova. Joe Rogaine. Joe Rogain. That's got to be out there, though. Yeah, 100%. Andrew McMahon. Because he was, he married a muzzie. Now I don't see her at Christmas anymore. Drexler Yeah JTG straight to the B Welcome

Kevin Garner Nizar al-Tahani Oscar Aldercrutes tight yet moist Okay Leroy Spankins Aaron Basoletti Leroy 2 in the pink

In Leroy 2 in the pink 1 in 1 in the Stinkins Okay Aldo Loblo A-Carrer Dan Sheen Alejandro Gonzalez

Dustin Heath And last but not least, I got probed by an alien. His name was Jose. List. Yeah. Last one. I don't know if we've ever had one where the last one made the list. Very good one.

Yeah, it's just one more page left, Jess, but. Okay. Sorry. All right. Here we go. So here's the list. Okay. Okay.

You ready? Yes. Ordered, carry out, and Ali got my order Wong. Got to keep it around. Proud dad of a Somali daycare grad. Got to keep it around. Okay. not reacting, not reaching the tissue box in time and wondering where the first shot landed.

I think we got a four off. Flat earther because I believe in ice and walls. That one's, we're going to Drexler. Okay. Any other day. Eastern Hemmy underneath the bed wearing stockings. Chicken finger. Okay.

We got a four off. I got a proled by an alien. His name was Jose. We got a four off. We got a four off. We got a good old four off. All right. What you call the semifinals, it's called the final four.

The final four. Here we go. Yeah. So it is between folks. It is between ranked opponents. Proud dad of a Somalian. No upsets. Proud dad of a Somalian daycare grad.

Or did carry out and Allie got my order Wong. Not reaching the tissue box in time and wondering where the first shot landed. And wait, what was the other one? The alien probe. Alien probe. And I got probed by an alien. His name was, how was that? I really need to.

be honest here, I want all four of them. I cannot pick one of those four. This is a four off where I feel like they're all equal as far as good. I don't know how to do this. There's not one I like more than the other. I like all four the same. I don't know what to do. This is Sophie's choice. The only way that we can really do this is we're going to have to get the kids involved. We're going to have to ask you kids. All right, Delilah. Delilah likes you like alien. So Delilah, you're saying the winner is I got probed by an alien, his name was Jose. Violet?

I like Princess. Okay, Violet. Which ones do you like? She likes the princess. Proud dad of a Somali daycare grad, ordered carry out, and Ali got my order Wong. I got probed by an alien. His name was Jose or not reaching the tissue box in time and wondering where the first shot landed.

What do we think? She's feeding the dog. What do you think? Is there one that stuck out to you, stuck out to you, honey? Okay, the princess. one so I'm going to say that you mean Jose Jesse what do you like ah god

the uh tell me is honestly that's it this is one is where it's all four are the same incredible to me it's a two off it's the tissue and it's the alien probe yeah those are the two so we're going to Drexler Ali Wong well Drexler Ali Wong and then we're Drexling also we're Drexling in Somali daycare yeah good choice Jesse I agree

so between not reaching the tissue box time and wondering where the first shot landed. Or I got ProBine Alien. His name was Jose. I think if the kids want the alien. Yeah, should we go Alien? Let's go Alien. The tissue box, dude, I'm telling you, you deserve this, but it is what it is.

Sometimes you got to flip, sometimes you got to flip a Nick the Stick. It's what it is. And also, because the family is in the room, we're doing a family-friendly show. It's a family-friendly show. So we'll do a family-friendly Patreon name. I got ProBying an Alien. His name was Jose. Yeah.

Nate Land Entertainment. presents the PPW. The family friendly one is the probe. Congrats. You're the winner. Go to patreon.com slash history hyenas. We got new episodes coming out. Much more content coming out there. That's the place to have the most fun.

See your name up in lights at history hyenas is back.com. And we got episodes coming out on YouTube every Thursday at 3 p.m. Eastern. So like and subscribe. Tell all your friends, we love you.