History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - Enissa Amani is WILD!
Episode Date: February 18, 2021The Hyenas have Enissa Amani on the poddy and things GET WILD YAAASSSSS! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Now to my favorite sponsor because I sleep on one of these things, Helix mattress.
The best.
Take their two minute sleep quiz and they'll match you to a mattress that will give you
the best sleep of your life.
All you got to do, go to helixsleep.com slash wild.
Guys, the key to life is hydration.
Water a lot of times is not enough.
That's why you got to check out Liquid IV.
They got lots of great flavors.
All you got to do is go to LiquidIV.com.
Also you can find it at Costco. Put in the promo code wild and you will get 25%
off your order. It is great. You know what, Yannis? A beard is more than just hair
on your face. Yeah, sometimes it's a girl that a gay guy's dating. It's what it is!
Go to Target and pick up Duke Cannon beard balms. Go to DukeC Duke Cannon comm and get the best damn beard wash today
These cut this company doesn't have a promo code. No, they don't even a promo code
You can go to Duke Cannon comm you can pick this there stuff up at Target
They got beard wash beard oil and beard balm
Yeah
And it says it can lather not only it lathers you up it, it moisturizes skin underneath, and it says it doesn't only affect,
it says it's lather not only conditions your whiskers,
so Uncle Russell's listening now,
because he hears whiskers,
and it moisturizes the skin underneath,
so it'll look nice if you ever go insane
and decide to shave,
because this is for you,
because make no mistake, when you shaved, I would get mad.
That's why we ended the podcast, because you shaved.
Yeah, you gotta, guys, facial hair is the thing now.
If you wanna look masculine, you wanna look like you hunt,
get yourself a beard and you can't just walk around
with a scruffy, gruffy beard.
Your beard has to look well manicured and cute.
So get yourself some beard wash to clean it,
some beard oil to make it look smooth,
and some beard balm.
I don't know what the fuck that does.
The next time you're storming the Capitol,
make sure you go to DukeCanon.com. What's up everybody?
It's Chris and Yana's history hyenas and guess what?
We finally got t-shirts.
They're all over the place.
There's going to be a lot more coming.
We got t-shirts.
We got Mike Mush here. We got Zach Isis here, we're all here.
Yeah, we're here.
I blew out a candle last night and the wicker
and the hot ash went into my left eye and it hurts.
And Giannis has gone on a woman sweater.
And he'll say that I'm fashionable, I'm the nicest,
I know how to dress, blah, blah, blah.
You look like a woman. And the thing is now, because I can, here's the nicest, I know how to dress and blah, blah, blah. You look like a woman.
And the thing is now, because I can,
here's the thing with me, honestly.
Here's the thing, for most of our friendship,
this is truth, for most of our friendship,
you've just said a lot of things,
and you're just like, I'm this, I'm that,
and I've just let it go because I've been depressed,
but now I can confidently beat the shit out of you
and throw you through a window,
so I'm just gonna tell you how I feel,
and I hate your sweater! I think you probably could have beat the shit out of me before you learned how you through a window. So I'm just going to tell you how I feel, and I hate your sweater.
I think you probably could have beat the shit out of me
before you learned how to be a slow boxer.
Yeah, I'm not.
Well, now I'm picking up the speed.
I don't even know if I can recognize you
without a boxing shirt on.
If you walked in here and you didn't have a boxing.
If your sweatshirt didn't say box.
The back of Mike's head looks like a tortellini.
Yeah. We got no fume shirts now.
They are good. Yeah. Because last night we had a few brews, you and I. And I've just been letting
go recently. You've been letting go. Because I had two more at home afterwards. But you're a married
kid. You're, here's the thing. Let's just be honest. Let's just be honest. We were talking about this
yesterday. Tell me how the cookie crumbles. Here's how the cookie crumbles.
Unfortunately, here's how the cookie crumbles.
You're born a straight white man in America,
you're ahead of the current.
There's just no other way to slice it, right?
No other way to slice it.
It's like, yeah, you know, you joke around
about how you don't have a career and all that,
and all that stuff is funny and true,
but the bottom line is, is the things that you're inheriting
from your family's wealth is just more than any one
of these Sandy comedians could ever get within a lifetime.
So it's just what it is.
Yeah, I mean, my family just made a good decision
to buy a house in Park Slope.
Because the thing is, you just, it's just like,
some people, I would be mad at it too.
Listen, AOC, we're just gonna figure out a way
no matter what you do.
No matter what you do,
it's just like you're just gonna win.
Yanni is just always gonna win and it's just what it is.
So it's like, you know, like you joke around about stuff
but it's like you're just gonna win,
you're just ahead of everybody.
Look.
It's just what, it's truly just what it is
and I get why people would be upset about that.
Yeah, yeah. Cause do we have any of those noises It's truly just what it is and I get why people would be upset about that. Yeah. Yeah
Because do we have any of those noises that don't come in robot flavor? Yeah
By the way the longest oh come on in we got somebody here hello. Hi
Yeah, okay
Chris I'm Yanis nice to meet you Yeah. Okay. Somebody, hi. Hi. Come on in. Oh no, you're right on time.
Chris.
Chris.
Nice to meet you.
I'm Janis, nice to meet you.
That's Mike.
Nice to meet you.
This is Mike and this is Zach.
Zach.
Hi sis.
Yeah.
Sit down, you can sit down.
So come on.
You're a comedian, so you're used to meeting people on a podcast, right?
When people, like that's how we talk now, normal.
I've actually never been on a podcast.
This is the first podcast.
Every comedian I know in Germany has a podcast.
Yeah, but you never did it.
I never did it.
No, I never did it.
Right.
I don't have one of my own.
That's okay.
People ask me, but I think.
Wow.
You're my first.
Oh, look at that.
Wow. Podcast virgins.
We're making history right here
because we are history hyenas.
Sit down here?
Yeah, sit down here.
First of all, welcome to America.
Thank you.
How long are you here for?
I'm here for a month.
Wow.
And now I've been here for a week now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So...
We found out... First of all, Yannis hates Germans.
Let's just start off with that because he's Greek
and his mother grew up in Nazi occupied Greece,
so he hates Germans.
He will tell you that, but I know that.
And the reason why I'm telling you is because
I just found out that I'm 80% German off ancestry.com.
So I'm very German and Yannis doesn't like that
and that's why he's wearing a turtleneck right now
because he wants to cover up his neck.
Yeah, which he just called a woman shirt.
And he looks like the Germans you probably
went to school with. That's how they look like.
He actually looks very German.
Very German. See, ever since I said on the podcast ancestry.com, I'm German, people are
just like, yeah, you look German. So I don't know. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not.
Let's give our guest a proper introduction.
You give her the introduction.
I met her about three hours ago for two sentences
on Instagram. Yeah. That's how it works now. Yeah. So she is Anisa Amani. Right. Good name.
And she has, she's a comedian from Berlin, Germany. Germany. Not Berlin, but Germany.
Germany. Yeah. I'm from Frankfurt. Oh, Frankfurt. And I live in Cologne. You know Cologne? Yeah.
Absolutely. And nobody knows Cologne. Of course we know Cologne. Yeah, you know Cologne. C-O-L-O-G-N-E.
Yeah.
Dracarneauirn, Polo.
No, not quite.
Okay, that's right.
Yeah.
But it's actually the city where the first Cologne is from.
That's why it's called Cologne.
And Frankfurt is Frankfurters.
And Frankfurt is Frankfurters.
That's how we know it.
Oh, there you go, my special.
And Hamburg is Hamburgers.
There we go, right there.
Yeah, here we go.
So cool.
What does Urnwerk mean?
It means word of honor, but it's translated to like,
if you give a promise, but it's like a kind of a,
like a promise with all of your heart and all of your honor.
This means like, it's not, that's only,
I think the word is not existing in English.
Well, I'm gonna say Ehrenwort,
I'm just gonna say it today.
Am I saying it right?
Yeah, Ehrenwort. Ehrenwort. I'm just gonna say it today. Am I saying it right? Yeah, Ehrenwort.
Ehrenwort.
I'm just gonna say it.
You can't say it.
The thing is, if I start to hit with what I look like,
if I then also start to hit words
with the hard German accent, it's just,
it's not, you know what I mean?
They're gonna start to get scared.
They're gonna be like, the fourth Reich,
this kid wants to fucking start shit up again.
Your Twitter will be just canceled.
They will just what it is. They'll demonetize you. Ehrenwort, cause say it. Ehrenwort. Ehrenwort. This kid wants to fucking start shit up again. Your Twitter will be canceled.
That's just what it is.
They'll demonetize you.
Ehrenwort, cause say it.
Ehrenwort.
Ehrenwort.
Ehrenwort.
Ehrenwort.
Hefeweizen.
It's actually a very sweet word.
It means like you ask me to promise you something
and I would say, no, I don't only give you my promise.
I give you my Ehrenwort,
which means I give you my word of honor to do it.
That's the word.
Do you have that in English?
I have genital Ehrenwort. Cross your heart hope to die. A pinky swear. That's the word. Do you have that in English? I have general air and words.
Cross your heart hope to do it.
A pinky swear.
Yeah, pinky promise.
We went to Germany, Janice and I.
We went to Germany and Austria.
Oh wow.
Yeah, and we went to Munich though for Octoberfest.
And we had a good time.
We, what a beautiful place.
Well.
So Octoberfest is like me in New York
going to the Times Square, like we Germans,
we don't go. It's like a New York person. Like I've never been to Oktoberfest my whole life,
even though I love the Bavarian culture. They're cool. They're a little very,
yeah, they're like sometimes right wing-ish, but still cool. I love the food. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nice food. We felt we could feel that. We felt like this is like very touristy, but you're cool. I love the food
We felt we could feel that we felt like this is like very touristy, but you know, we're not from there So we went and did it. I'm just filming so I want to put it up on my Instagram. So I'm showing
Yeah, this is Chris
Hello in German hello, it's a Yarnas nice to see you
Hello in German. Hello.
Hello, it's nice to see you.
Under ISIS, Zack.
Zack.
Zack ISIS.
You're Middle Eastern too?
My parents are from Iran, right?
Oh from Iran, what a good country.
Zack's from Queens.
Yeah, Zack's from Queens, New York, but he has Middle Eastern heritage.
Yeah, he's a Palestinian kid.
And Mike Mush is Mexican from San Antonio.
Very cool.
With papers. Mikey emoji cool. With papers.
Mikey Emoji Face.
With paper.
You know when you go to Philadelphia and you get a cheese stick
and they say would you like it with or without?
That's the way we refer to White Walkers.
On a wit or without papers.
She doesn't know what we're talking about
but she's politely laughing.
The thing is, the other just goes on the mind of his own.
He has early onset Alzheimer's.
He just does, he's just not, yeah.
So the thing is with you is what I wanted to ask you
is first of all, how the hell did you even wind up finding out who Janis was?
Well, I, I, I'm asking his wife wants to know.
You're too hot to be DMing him.
Should I, should I, should I tell him like the official version?
No, actually like I was, I was booked in at a hotel in Brooklyn, Greenpoint, very sweet hotel.
I just found it randomly.
So now I changed it because I felt like it was too far away.
But at my hotel, there was an employee, very nice person called Nigel.
Nigel Usy.
I grew up with him.
Did he come to the wedding?
No, he did not come to the wedding.
This is the way when I'm in a foreign country, I just try to connect with the comedians, try to go to the comedies, stores and just say, Hey, I'm
a comedian.
Can I play here?
And actually this is the, I met a few, I can call them friends now.
Like I did that the same way when I was in LA, like kind of maybe a little naive, but
I just walk in and say, Hey, I'm in East.
I have a Netflix special.
May I have a little spot?
Sometimes it works out.
Sometimes it doesn't. Smart. That's what you have to do. Yeah, and so I asked Nigel by the day I was actually checking out.
I said, are there any maybe small comedy clubs in Brooklyn? I could go to perform to practice my English and everything.
And he was like, I don't know, but I have a friend of mine. He's a very good comedian.
Well, I'm like, yeah, and he likes my stuff. Yes. And he said his name is Janis and he showed me your Instagram.
I was like, can I just inbox him? Is that cool?
He said, you know Donal Rawlings?
I was like, yeah, I know Donal too.
They're always very kind.
He goes to Germany, Donal Rawlings.
Doesn't he do comedy in Germany?
He was in the military.
He loves to tell you that.
The first time he met me, he was like, so you're from Germany? He was in the military in Germany. Yeah and he loves to tell you that like every time I did the first time he met me he was like so you're from Germany?
I was like yeah and he was like Darmstadt! Darmstadt is just a town in Germany where like five people live or something and he was like Darmstadt!
That's Donnell so shout out to Donnell that's his favorite. Egypt! So I DMed Yanis in the middle of the night yesterday. I couldn't sleep. So I went to some Chinese restaurant got original Chinese food
And then I was like, hey Yanis, I'm Anissa. Is that cool? And I was so lucky when he said hey
We were recording a podcast the next day and there's Chris and so I stalked you on Instagram
I found you, your family, your ancestors
your family, your ancestors, like everything. Yeah, your life, your kid.
Your kid is actually very sweet.
And I saw Maz Gibran, he was writing under a pic of you,
that something with your kid doesn't want it to show,
watch your special, something like that.
And Maz was like, I'm having my kids watching your special.
And it's like, OK, he's friends with Maz.
So that's how everything happened.
Yeah, I mean, you know, you did the right thing because I feel like this whole bit,
our whole business is just like, who, you know, like friends and stuff. Are you here right now
working on a show or you're just coming to America? I played at the Gotham comedy club, like
10 minutes set. I was at the New York comedy club East, East village, 10 minutes set, and I was at the stand comedy, it's in the Ace Hotel.
Sure. So I'm still, you know, as English is like you, you hear I do a lot of mistakes.
Your English is great. It's just English from school, you know, so it's not that perfect.
The thing is like you, like we, you can't even, can you speak Greek, Yanis?
Very little. Very little. Like the fact that you can even speak English like you're speaking it, like I couldn't say anything
in any other language.
We're so isolated and fucking dumb here.
Do you speak Spanish?
Very little.
See, what the fuck?
Do you speak Middle Eastern?
He barely speaks English.
Yeah, he barely speaks English.
He has tattoos on his fingers
if you're looking for a boyfriend.
He's got his fucking finger tattoos.
That'd be nice, come back with a nice American guy
with finger tattoos. He can't even spell in back with a nice American guy with finger tattoos.
He can't even spell in English.
Yeah, the fact that you can confidently just speak it
and then potentially do comedy in English is like,
I think it's great.
It all started with a comedy friend of mine,
he's also Iranian, maybe you know him, it's Max Amini.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Iranian-American comedy.
So he had a show in Amsterdam,
and I had never planned to play shows in English to do shows in
Farsi never I was just straight in my little German world. Yeah, so he called me up
I think one and a half years ago and he was like in these I have a show in Amsterdam
I'm with my friends and my I think
My fiance everybody and he said would you like to come over to watch the show and I was like, yeah
I'm off the weekend.
I'll take the train, I'll be over,
it's two hours from Cologne.
So I went to Amsterdam and then his support act
was a Dutch comedian called like five minutes
before the show, he was like, I'm sick, I cannot come back.
And he was like, Benisa, it was a thousand seater
and he was like, you gotta do the opening.
And I was like, Max, I don't have an English set.
I don't even know if I'm confident in English.
And by the way, I was like dressed kind of like a bitchy.
I was like, it's hot summer.
I will never go on stage with this outfit.
That's not me.
And he was like, no, you're a natural.
He is very American.
You're always very supportive.
Go for it.
Conquer it.
And he was like, do it.
So he always supported me that much.
So I went on stage. It went so good that people were like,
I had a standing, maybe they were just, I have pity,
or I had like a rookie bonus, I don't know what I had,
but they gave me a standing ovation.
And then, and he was like, and he said,
if you don't start English, you're just stupid.
Please start English.
Well, it's smart.
So that's what happened.
I feel like all the comedians now, like Gad Elmaleh does, do you know Gad?
Yes, not personally, but I know his show. Gad does all the comedy in English now. You're doing it in English. It's just the best.
We should try to do comedy in another language and see what happens. We should do German.
Whenever you're in Germany, please, I have one girl from LA, she was in Germany, she was like,
do you have any shows I can play? Of course I have a show. It was a little town in Germany called Bünde, 800 people.
I was like, yeah, come over.
And before she came on stage, I was like, hey,
I have a comedian from LA tonight.
She's gonna play a little set.
You could be very proud to see a LA comedian.
Just pretend that you understand English, okay?
And like the audience was like, yeah!
But they didn't know any English.
I don't know, but she had a nice time.
But I feel like in Europe, you can get away because everybody speaks English in Europe,
right?
For the most part.
Of course, yeah.
And I feel like you, I mean, they're so, we look up to American show business.
Of course we do, we're not that good at it.
We're good at building cars and stuff like that.
Yeah, taking over the world. So they're just happy when they- Yeah, trying to take over the world until you ran into the fucking police. we're not that good at it, we're good at building cars and stuff like that.
Yeah, take over the world.
So they're just happy when they...
Yeah, you're trying to take over the world until you ran into the fucking boys.
Yeah.
United States of America, World War I and World War II, back to back World War X, motherfucker.
Sorry.
Yeah.
Okay, she don't care.
So I think every time you're over, people are very honored to have American coming.
I always feel very honored and I learn a lot.
Yeah, now the thing is with you is coming here,
first of all, do they have any Puerto Ricans in Germany
or they may be called Puerto Ricans?
You have Puerto Ricans in Germany?
It's a little community, like a little minority,
but we do, yeah.
You look very Puerto Rican.
If I took you to the Puerto Rican neighborhood in Brooklyn,
I would just like to see what would happen.
That's a huge compliment to me. I love to see. I do lie a lot about that. I always say I had a grandmother who was from Venezuela.
People ask me like, how did the Venezuelan woman came to Iran? I was like, my granddad was a sailor and he took whatever.
No, because my brain, it's like warping my brain right now. Because my brain, cause the thing, my daughters have Puerto Rican, my kids, my ex.
Your wife is, oh yeah.
We're not together, we're co-parent.
Well, Sunset Park wife, yeah.
Sunset Park, cause my wife, she's no.
What does that mean, what does that mean?
It's sort of like a Brooklyn arrangement,
a baby's mama kind of situation.
She's my baby's mama, we love her,
I love her support, but she's very Puerto Rican.
My daughter's very Puerto Rican.
So you look very Puerto Rican,
so my brain is saying she's Puerto Rican,
but then you're like, hello, I am from Germany
and I'm Netflix.
So I don't, it's just, my brain is just trying to catch up
to what's happening right now, but I'm just into it.
Like if you walked around Brooklyn,
you'd probably get a couple guys like,
yo, mommy, what up?
Yo, ma, what's up, ma?
And you'd be like, hello, I'm from college.
And I was like, hello, thank you.
They're like, oh, they're like, oh, this Puerto Rican girl's deaf. That I was like, hello. Hello.
They're like, oh, they're like, oh, there's Puerto Rican girls.
Def.
That's what they would think.
Yo, Mark, I'll buy you a drink.
Two half of ice, please.
Yes.
Thank you, Shaya.
So what are you doing tonight?
Do you have shows tonight?
No, I'm still, I'm freshly, I'm still trying to, I'm freshly signed with UTA.
Home with UTA as well. Cool. Look at that. I think I'm the trying to, I'm freshly signed with UTA. I'm with UTA as well.
Cool.
Look at that.
I think I'm the first German person, I don't know.
Who is it, with Bjorn?
Yeah, with Bjorn.
Yeah, that's my UK agent.
Hey, Bjorn.
How are you, Bjorn?
Everybody knows Bjorn.
Bjorn, I'm coming to England June 24th and 25th.
Bjorn, you better come to my shows in London, you fuck.
Yeah, Bjorn is my...
Bjorn, so he's the UK person, or he's the, you're a person. Yeah, heorn is my... So he's the UK person, or you're a person.
Yeah, he was at my second Netflix special,
which is like the short ones, the 30 minutes one,
the show was called Comedians of the World,
and there Bjorn came and he was like,
yeah, and he was like,
and he said, we're interested in doing your English stuff,
and maybe buy, and I was like, of course I would.
UTA's the best. So there is one person actually called mike and he mike is like checking what
clubs i could play like five minutes here five minutes there yeah we know mike so whatever you
know people who would let me play even if it's like two people watching i'm i'm thursday what
he did thursday mike she should i'm headlining here Thursday. You come do set on Thursday. There you go. Yeah, of course, there you go.
10.30.
Did you get that from me?
I just got this, I'm just...
Danke schön.
Danke schön.
We're gonna have such a culturally diverse show.
Look at that, we got me, you, Mike,
and then there's somebody else.
Yeah, the show's at, I'm headlining, 10.30 show.
I'll be there.
10.30 downstairs here.
Yeah, I'll be, yeah, I was...
Oh no, around the corner, around the corner.
Yeah, you just...
It's here, it's the Comedy Cellar.
I'm here.
How's comedy in Germany?
I used to... Bad to tour in, yeah.
They're not the funniest, right?
Yeah, I used to tour in Scandinavia a lot
and it was like comedy was only like 10 years old,
20 years old.
So how long, how old is comedy in Germany now?
Stand up.
Yeah, we do have a good reputation
in doing a thing called Kabarett.
Kabarett means like a very political comedy.
You know, it's mostly older guys and they're very into critical things regarding society
and they're really good at it, like really good. But like the real stand up, stand up
situation is actually maybe 10, 15 years where we have the kind of American kind of stand
up. And now there is a development.
I feel like I'm a door opener for a lot of younger ones.
And I'm very proud of that because, you know, the whole thing,
which happened here in the late seventies, eighties, like people
cussing on stage, blah, blah.
This is something very new and I still get a lot of
don't want to say a lot of shit, but I like I have elderly
German people watching me and they know me from the cabaret shows on TV
where I'm invited.
But then I do like stand up and I'll be on stage,
and then I talk like, you know, like.
Like a human being with a heartbeat.
Yeah, right.
Not like a German.
You're a normal person.
And then they're like, oh, why is she using
this kind of words?
This is not very, very.
Shut up, tell them to shut the fuck up.
Oh, thank you so much.
It's like, just like people want to try to control everything.
Yes.
But in America, it's now in America, it's like nobody would do that.
Well, they would do that.
But most people would be like, shut up, stupid.
Yeah, right.
Go sit in your fucking hole.
So I still, I feel like I have this, how do you, there's this thing,
like a blessing and a curse.
Like I had a, my career went very far.
I just wanted to start as a hobby.
I never thought this would work out.
And like from my first open mics
One and a half year after that. I have my own TV show on the biggest German
Television channel like your is it maybe the most influential like HBO or something like the German pros even they gave me a
late-night show and
But it was too soon, you know, it was one and a half years
I didn't even learn like how to be awoman, how to say, I want that, I want this, I don't want that, put the light this way, and I want
this kind of content and that kind of content. So it was very fast. I don't want to complain.
I feel very blessed what happened. Of course, I get a lot of, like, she's a beautiful girl,
blah, blah, blah. But there are so many beautiful girls right now doing stand up and they are doing it maybe for like eight years and they had, they don't have their, what do you say, like the coming through, you know, thing.
Yeah, they haven't broken through.
There are people who write, that's all because she's looking good.
And there are other people who write like, no, I feel she's very intelligent.
She's very funny.
She's not pretty at all.
And this is the people I block.
I cannot deal with this one.
I can't deal with the not funny one. This I people I block. I cannot deal with this one. I can't deal with the not funny one,
this I can deal with.
I cannot deal with it.
She's not pretty but very intelligent.
I block these people.
Yeah, but all that shit is them just justifying
why they're not successful.
You know, I mean, that's all that is.
It's like, even if, because it's like, even if,
even if they're, yeah, they're just just, hi, Bjorn.
It's just them just fine why they're not successful
I mean, that's what happens people always figure out a way. Oh this person has this because of that whatever all that stuff is probably true
You probably there probably is a good reason
There's probably part of the reason might be why you they give your own shows because you're very beautiful
Okay, that's not your fault. You're also funny. So it's like fuck them
I let that shit go in one ear and out the other to can Germans laugh or is it a clap or a snap that they do? Do they just go like that?
Yeah they're kind of learning like Hamburg this is my favorite city to play
like my special was in Hamburg. Hamburg, they have a very American
attitude you go out there be screaming there be yelling there be even what is
that word? Hackling you know? We don't have German hacklers, they're still not, they don't, when I had my first
hackler in LA and I was so proud, I was like, oh, this is the famous hackling?
Thank you for saying something, you know?
Because the Germans, they're very, you know, they buy their tickets two years before they
have organized the structure, you know?
If you come out on stage five seconds late, they get mad, they wanna refund.
Of course.
Well, that's why even like when we were in Germany,
you know, like I remember we were looking at something,
what were we looking at where Hitler did the beer push,
right, the beer push, remember we were looking at that thing?
Remember we had the flight,
we had the flight in like two hours
and you were like just admiring
cause you were like Greek.
Where he, where, yeah, the road where he came,
where he marched down.
Yeah, and then because I was in my fatherland, I was just getting very German and I was like,
we have to go. And you were getting mad because I was like, Janice, we have to go.
So I could feel like how those Germans are and I like that. I like to be like, I'm not late,
I'm just fucking there on time and Janice is just a Greek that, you know, just goes with it.
We're Mediterranean, we're from the same area. How do you reconcile that?
German and then the Arab, Arabs like to chill, enjoy themselves.
I mean I started with Farsi stand-up now Nadya I'm playing Farsi shows. I did one in London,
one in Manchester and one in Germany. I play fourth of June like in three weeks. I'm having
one in Hamburg but it's Farsi like it's for the Iranians in Germany,
and I love it because they're very new to stand up, like totally new, I can do everything,
but they are very, how do you say, like they're willing to learn, they want to know, so this is
the stand-up world, so this is how it's supposed to be, so I love that they're open, you know,
Germans mostly they're not, they they wanna stay the way they are.
They don't wanna change a lot.
Yeah, they want everybody out, usually.
They want everybody out,
they want everyone to look like them, the Umbamans.
They can't help that, that's just an opinion.
You can't even joke around.
See, what we're doing right now, obviously,
joking about Nazi stuff.
You can't even do that in Germany.
We were told in Germany,
if you even fucking joke around with that Nazi shit,
you'll go to prison.
No, no, I said that last, I had a set yesterday.
I was like, Germans are so sensitive on the Nazi word
that even the Nazis don't want to be called Nazis.
Don't call them a different word.
I have people commenting on my page, like I hate Muslims.
I hate black people.
That's my father, I apologize.
I hate every minority.
I hate everybody, but I'm not a Nazi.
How can you dare call me a Nazi?
I was like, dude, you just wrote,
I want to have everybody killed who is not white, but then, but I'm not a Nazi. How can you dare call me a Nazi? I was like, you just, dude, you just wrote, I want to have everybody killed who is not white.
But then, but I'm not a Nazi.
A Nazi is a different thing.
No, it's not a different thing.
It's exactly what you said there.
So they are very sensitive on the Nazi,
but you can do some Nazi jokes.
I did, but you can never go, for instance,
like I had a Jewish comedian, a friend of mine who said,
and he said, we have to go go very, like talk about the Holocaust.
I was like, dude, dude, dude, this is Germany.
You can't do that.
You can't do it if you're Jewish, of course.
But when you're not Jewish and you have Iranian and German roots,
you should shut the fuck up.
I should shut the fuck up.
What's your background?
You're Iranian and German?
No, my parents are from Iran.
And they came to, in Germany, most people are first generation, right?
Except the Turkish, they're there for like two,
or the Italian, but all the rest is like kind of first,
second generation.
So my parents came to Germany when I was six months old,
and then I grew up in Germany,
and I saw Iran the first time when I was 22.
My two favorite TV shows that I've ever seen
that I currently watch on Netflix,
but they're one's over and the other one's just got a new season is Dogs of Berlin. Do you know
that show Dogs of Berlin and Four Blocks? Do you know the show Four Blocks? Those are my two favorite shows.
Actually, they're friends of mine on that show. I want to FaceTime them. Yeah, I can FaceTime them right now.
I swear to fucking God, I watched those shows. Let me give him a shout out. Sinan, he's like one of the actors on Dogs of Berlin.
Sinan, you heard?
You have fans here in America.
Come on, Chris.
I love your show, dude.
I love your show.
What's up, bro, America?
Yeah, we have a lot of German,
a lot of German rappers on there.
And Four Blocks, too.
That show Four Blocks is sick.
You watched that show?
I watched all, I watched every, I told you this.
Didn't I tell you I was,
remember I told you I've been watching these shows
in German with English subtitles,
Dogs of Berlin and Four Blocks.
I watched all three seasons of Four Blocks
or it's two seasons, third season coming,
and then Dogs of Berlin had one season
and I just, I finished it.
It's unbelievable shows.
And there's a third one called Babylon Berlin.
These are like their right.
Oh Babylon, I started watching a little bit of that.
It's so cool that you watched these.
So Four Blocks right now is like top of everything. They get a lot of props. That's like the number one show in the country. Well, I don't know if
the word is right, the urban, hip hop related, big city related. It's like the young people show.
The mass maybe not, but like the younger ones, they love Four Blocks. I love it. And Dogs of
Berlin, they got a lot of shit by the press.
They didn't love it too much compared to the other one,
but still they're great actors on it.
I love it.
I love it.
Yeah, it's a great show,
and I love that Germany is developing new kind of movies.
It's the same with the standup.
We're getting into that model.
I'm writing a screenplay right now,
and I already got the okay from a huge well-known
beautiful
And I'm very I'm very
Can't wait to go into that movie. I didn't want it to tell her you tap is for art
I was actually the fatness of a dream book
It's like when you're in Germany or to Sweden or Denmark and you start doing comedy
There's your shot you could get famous in three months.
Yeah, you could just get it.
It's so new.
Yeah, but I have to say,
What is it?
No, because like yesterday there was a guy,
he was actually Greece at the ice club
and he was like, okay, Germany, you can still,
and I was like, dude, maybe it's a smaller community,
but the same like here, I have friends, good comedians,
really good comedians, hustling for like 20 years,
but still haven't been on a TV show or blah.
Of course it's a smaller world,
and of course if you're good at what you do,
you don't have the same,
of course not the same competition you have here
or you have in LA,
but still it's the same thing.
It's not that you're guaranteed your success.
Like, I'm like a total,
what happened to me, good or bad,
whatever, was a total exception, like a total, what happened to me, good or bad, whatever, was a total exception, like
a total, total exception.
Most of the comedians are like 10 years in, 15 years in.
But how long does it take you to get paid as a comic in Germany when you start?
She got paid in a year and a half, she had her own show.
No, most comics.
No, most comics, they don't live from comedy, you know, they have the regular jobs and then
they do their comedy on the side.
But I hope that it's still, now it's getting more,
and now it's the time to develop new TV shows, to give place.
We don't even have the spots for the comedian
because we don't have the shows for the comedian.
That's why they cannot make it because there's no show to put you on.
Do you know a comedian named Vidura Rajpaska? Rajpaska? He's a Sri Lankan comic based in Berlin
He hosts the anything goes podcast. Oh, no, and he's got a he's got podcast episodes and social media stuff on live from the sandbox.com
No, I don't know him but shout out to him
Pascas you sponsor the show live from the sandbox calm. How cool is that?
Guys the key to life is
Hydration yeah, you mean like some waters no cuz I'm talking about a little special product called liquid IV
liquid IV
Liquid yummy I heard that that thing has more vitamin C than an orange and more potassium than a banana
Cuz water is not enough if you're dehydrated. You need potassium, you need sodium,
you need your glucose levels to be right.
You know this because you're a doctor.
I'm fucking doctor cause one stick of Liquid IV
and a 16 ounce of water could give as much hydration
as two or three bottles of plain water.
Cause you've been on a water app?
You should just forget the water app,
stop drinking water, just start drinking Liquid IV.
I already have cause they sent me some free ones to my house.
Guess what?
Liquid IV is also donating Liquid IV to hospitals and stuff
for COVID patients to keep them hydrated,
because make no mistake,
first responders, food banks, veterans,
and active military need to get their water.
They need to get their water.
All you gotta do is go to liquidiv.com,
use the promo code wild,
you're gonna get 25% off anything you order. I mean, that's insane. Liquidiv.com, use the promo code wild you're gonna get 25% off anything you order I mean that's insane liquid IV calm use the promo code wild
you get 25% off any of your hydration needs it's wild all you do is you take
the liquid IV stick you put it into water you mix it all around they got
great flavors like strawberry other flavors and it's delish and it's healthy
for you and you get all the elements you need to stay hydrated cuz for a long time
I just sort of I thought it was liquid the fourth because I was looking at Roman numerals
Yeah, cuz what is liquid IV? It's liquid the fourth liquid IV calm promo code wild
Everyone sleeps different. That's the thing some people are side sleepers some people sleep on their backs some people sleep on their stomachs
Some people sleep with teddy bears
That's why I got myself a helix mattress because you can
Tailor it to the way you like to sleep cuz you told me you told my never forget you said bro
I've been getting the best night sleeps my life changed. I said what'd you do? You said I got a helix mattress
I got the helix mattress the very first night. I slept on the helix mattress. I got my girl pregnant
We're having another baby. That's what it is. And're not joking We got them they gave it to us for free
Of course, we're promoting it but get yourself a helix mattress
All you got to do is take their two-minute quiz
Yeah
Fill out what your preferences are for the way you sleep and they will match you to the type of mattress that works best for you
It's what it is cuz all you got to do is go to helix sleep calm slash wild. That's helix sleep calm
Slash wild and you're gonna get a fricking discount, Bubba's.
What is the actual discount?
Helix, you're gonna get $200 off all mattress orders.
I did not expect that.
Up to, oh sorry, helixsleep.com slash wild.
And you get up to, up to $200 off all mattress orders
and two free pillows for our listeners
at helixSleep.com
slash wild. Two free pillows I mean you also get a 10 year warranty you could
try this thing out for a hundred nights risk-free and there's a warranty I mean
good luck trying to fucking lug a mattress back though. It's what it is
baby HelixSleep.com slash wild.
Lynn I just thought maybe you would know him. No, I'm sorry, I don't know him.
That's all right, whatever, whatever.
What are you gonna do?
Can I have a water?
Can you want a water?
Can I have a water?
Would you like a water?
Would you like a water?
That's how we say it in America.
Do you want a water?
Vassa.
Vassa?
You want a Vassa?
And how do you say it in Farsi?
Yeah, up, let's find out.
For water?
Yeah, up, up, up is water.
There was a woman, so before-
Here's your water.
Thanks for my water.
So before I started doing comedy full-time,
I used to be a physical therapist.
Maybe in Germany you call it a physiotherapist.
Physiotherapist.
Physiotherapist.
And anyway, I was a pediatric physical therapist,
and right before I was a specialist
pediatric physical therapist,
I worked in an old age
home and the community was a big Farsi community out on Long Island.
The older women there, they were initially like, nobody's touching us but people from
our community.
But then I just wore them down so much that by the end of it all, I was just massaging
all the... I was taking care of all my Farsi women.
I had a nice little old lady Farsi crew, Iranian crew,
and I just wanted to shout out those women.
Yeah. Cool.
They're probably all dead now,
because they were older then,
and it was 10 years ago, but high in heaven.
Yeah.
We didn't even know before we went to Germany
that there was a difference between Bavarians and Germans.
Cause you have a very German sweater on.
Yeah, this is-
That's a very German look, no?
Would this be German, this look, with the backwards? Johnny's a handsome kid, no? Yeah, this is. That's a very German look, no? Would this be German, this look?
With a backwards.
Yanni's a handsome kid, no?
Yeah, he is.
He's a handsome married kid.
Yeah.
And he's been having a few beers lately.
He's been having a lot of, drinking a lot of beers lately, like a true German.
Well, cause I'm a married kid and that's what you do.
You just get a couple beers when you come home and you crack them open.
You're just a married kid.
Yeah, yeah.
You crack them open.
You crack them open and clean them out.
That's what's gonna happen to you.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So's gonna happen to you. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I don't know
So yeah, we didn't even know when we went to Germany we spent so we went to Salzburg cool
Which is very fucking beautiful. Yeah. Oh my god. There's different types of Germans
I think Hitler was born there, right?
He's awesome. Yeah, so it's Mozart. No Mozart was born there Mozart also I think Hitler was born there right? He's born in Salzburg. Yeah he's Austrian yeah. So was Mozart. No Mozart was born there.
Mozart also I think Hitler also. Hitler was born in Salzburg? I'm not sure. Might have been born in Salzburg.
I know everything about Hitler. I can't tell if I know this. He's born in Salzburg.
Hitler's in Salzburg. I hope. I guess. I hope. Shout out Hitler. Tweet us where Hitler was born.
Salzburg's beautiful. Beautiful yeah yeah. Munich, everything was destroyed,
so it's a new city, so not so beautiful.
Right.
Remember eating the chocolate?
Remember when I love sweets,
I'm like obsessed with chocolate and sweets and Nutella,
and remember when I took the bite
of those sweets in Austria,
we sat at that little cafe and I was just in heaven.
Yeah.
Remember that?
I mean, the amount of beer that Germans drink,
you guys don't meet for a coffee, you're like like let's go have a beer. Yes, do they do
I don't drink any beer but in it's a but there are a lot of girls also drinking beer, but it's still I think mostly a
Man guy think but there are a lot of good in cologne where I'm from
We have a very sweet kind of more fresh sweet kind of beer very famous called coach
Coach so the coach We have a very sweet kind of more fresh sweet kind of beer very famous called coach coach coach
So the coach you get coach in a very girly beer, you know coach Yeah, and my sweet sweet and it's very in a little glass, but the Bavarians they have this huge
Yeah, oh my god, even the waitresses
I don't know how they were holding three four them at a time just yeah fucking we went out with a couple of New York City
firefighters, so these are like real like,
drinkers.
Drinkers, and every night somebody,
remember we found that we saw that one guy
who fell asleep in the bush outside,
people's pants were, you know,
we just saw people with their pants down,
it was kind of crazy, but I would go,
I would love to go back, but I think I wanna try,
I wanna go to Berlin, I've never been to Berlin.
I heard Berlin's like the cool city though.
It is, yeah, Berlin is like the New York kind of city. The only,
the only German city with like a real big city touch to it. You know, we have Frankfurt,
of course we have Cologne, Stuttgart, Hamburg, but Berlin is like huge and alive.
And you know where I'm going to take you? The neighborhood I grew up in, in Queens,
which my mother still lives there. Shout out my mother, Ridgewood, Queens, mostly German neighborhood. We had the restaurants there, Zum Stammtisch.
Zum Stammtisch. We had that. We had Get Parts. We had Niedermiers. All these, it was a huge...
In Queens, right?
In Queens. They're still there. I don't know if the German food, I don't know if you're going to
like it because... Because it's German food. Yeah, we't know if the German food, I don't know if you're gonna like it because that's it. Because it's German food.
Yeah, we didn't love the German food.
German food is basically.
Say it to the camera, say it to her fans.
I'm sorry, German food just sucks.
It's not.
It's hot dogs.
No, we do have a lot of German, like schnitzel.
Yeah, that's schnitzel, that's hot dog.
Oh, talk to the mic, talk to the mic.
Oh, I'm sorry, we do have, yeah, we do have schnitzel.
Schnitzel's good.
We do have.
But it needs a little bit of sauce, no?
You gotta put some fucking sauce on it.
Italians make the best food.
Yeah, I mean, come on, Italian number one.
Even Middle Eastern food is good.
Yeah, I mean, that's different.
It's very different.
We have more like a very, yeah,
Italians want Mediterranean food,
Italians in Spain, but in Germany,
we do have good food, yes, see in Germany we do have good food.
Yes, see, that's good German food.
Yeah, I mean, it doesn't look great.
It doesn't look great.
It doesn't look great.
But I mean, I'm not shitting on it
because I want to take you out,
but it doesn't look great.
I want to have a family with you,
but this food doesn't look great.
If you can learn how to make Italian you got a deal
But I want to crack you open
It's just what it is
I'm in love with you. You look Puerto Rican, but you're not it's a dream Do you have a tattoo on your tit?
He doesn't want to talk about the German food because he says he might still be a fan
and that's why he doesn't want to talk about German food
I don't know what you're saying but I'm into it I don't know what she just said but I'm in love and that's why he doesn't want to see shit in the future. No, because German girls, you know, in America, the girls are like, I mean, I fucking sue you.
No, that's a German...
Germany is not a thing with them.
They like them.
We don't sue.
You just like a guy being a fucking guy and respecting you, of course, but you can just
talk to you.
Right.
But I wanted to say something, but what you say right now is that Americans do one mistake,
which is for us Europeans in general, is like very, we find that very stupid about the food thing
or generally about the culture thing.
They always think that Europe is one culture, but it's not,
they always say like, I love European culture, but they don't know that Italy
and Germany is like Japan compared to America. It's like totally different.
You know, most people know that though. They know that.
So why do they often say Europe
as if Europe is like one culture? Did they ask Zack? Who do they speak to? Zack? He's
not a good representative. Yeah, Zack's not a good representative. He's got words on his
fingers. Where are you from? He's from Queens, New York. Zack, don't talk to my fucking wife.
His roots. His roots are from special ed. That's where he's from, it's a country called special ed.
Your roots are based in fucking ISIS
and want to drink the blood of Christians.
Oh, salam alaikum.
Yeah, I know.
He's from a country called Missanachromosone.
Yeah, Missanachromosone.
The thing is, most Americans, I think,
like I've always, like, it's always been impressive to me
that so many European people from whatever country
know English and know so many different languages
But it's like the thing is like if we got in a car and drove a thousand miles in any direction
It's just everybody's still speaking English English America's huge if you've got in a car and drove a thousand miles
You're speaking ten different languages right different countries
So it's like that thing where I wonder if like we grew up in Europe like everybody in Europe
Can speak multiple languages,
or most people can, right?
Because it's all around you.
At least English, or you learn French in school,
maybe a little bit, but at least you speak your own
and English, you know?
See, the thing is, I know America gets a bad rap
because it's like, oh, we're stupid
because it's like you only know English
and we have our own systems,
but it's like we are so far away,
there's like an ocean between us,
so it's like there's no real incentive for us
to learn any other language unless our family's from Europe.
And also we won the war, so we make the fucking rules.
Yeah, we make the rules.
We just make the rules.
And let's be honest.
I'm in charge here, because you're German,
I'm American, and my team won.
And let's be honest, as far as pretty languages,
the way they sound.
German's not up there.
German's not on the top of the list.
I'm totally on your side, but I have to be careful what I say.
As I have Iranian roots and Germany right now is also a very, the country is very divided.
When I say something against Germans or the German culture, even though I am German,
that's my home, you know, but there will be like,, oh the Iranian girl. So go back to Iran, you know
So that's the that's a problem right now in Germany. I think it's the same here
The country's like very everybody is discussing everything. We want to catapult the people over
Yeah, this guy is what we like to call him is fucking cannon fodder
his fucking cannon fodder. He's got to go back over the wall. Well I'll say it. German is a language like it's just you don't want to hear that language when
you're having sex you don't hear I said I snow was an eye I do yeah right now
you do sorry but it's just not a sexy language I can tell you like when I
change a change between the languages between Farsi English and and German
yeah also my voice changed.
Give you an example.
So give me an English sentence, whatever.
Please, not a provocative one, like a cool one.
Okay, cool.
How about you say,
I wanna go get a nice sauce in Ridgewood with Chris.
I wanna get a nice what?
Nice sauce, sauce, like Italian sauce.
I wanna get a slice of pizza with Chris. I wanna get a slice of pizza with Chris.
Okay, okay.
I wanna get a slice of pizza with Chris.
So now here's English,
I wanna get a slice of pizza with Chris.
Here's German.
I would like to go eat a pizza with Chris.
Look at him, look at him.
Sorry.
You're mean, he's mean.
And now Farsi.
My friends and Chris are making a pizza. I want the Farsi, I want you to speak to me in Farsi. Yeah, he's mean. And now Farsi.
He meant me, I mean me. I want the Farsi.
I want you to speak to me in Farsi.
Yeah, I like Farsi.
Can people comment on this?
Yeah?
No, I'm still, I'm recording and then I'm gonna put it up.
Then you're gonna post?
Okay, so I thought it was live.
I should go live, you're right.
Yeah, I was gonna do live, let's do a poll of-
I should go live.
If you're fancy, we should go on a date or not.
Yeah, for a slice of pizza in Ridgewood.
Do you have a boyfriend?
Are you single? I am single. Oh my god.
But, whoa, whoa, whoa. But you're not, oh, you're not?
No, no, I am actually. Does your boyfriend know how to box
and throw hands? Because I know how to box.
I can throw hands. How much does your boyfriend bench press?
You have to understand, though, she's from the factory
that made you, so you're not as exotic as you think you are
in her eyes, because she could go get one of you tomorrow in Munich.
Yeah, they just got me.
Remember when we were in Munich and you were like,
I feel like my powers don't work here.
Yeah, because no women care about me at all in Europe.
Because you actually look like a small.
I'm actually not a fucking good looking guy,
I have a big fat head.
You look like a small German.
Both of you, the four of you.
Don't lie.
No, you're lying.
Don't lie. But, you're lying.
But you have a boyfriend now.
Let me tell you something.
Let me ask you real quick.
Does he look like an emoji that you would send in a text?
Oh, yeah.
He does.
He looks like an emoji.
He looks like the smiley one.
Yeah, he's nice.
He's kind.
Yeah, maybe a little bit of the mean one also.
You could be the mean one.
The one like that with the face.
Do the one like that. The guys you get cracked open and cleaned out and make your face look like that
So you said you kind of have a boyfriend okay, so I interrupted you we don't want to get into your personal life
But we're just on the podcast. In Germany I never talk about my private private life, but I can tell you, yeah, I'm a long-term
relationship girl.
I was in like, my whole life, I was always in a long time.
The best way to be.
Five years, six years, always very nice.
I'm one of the few women in the world, I feel like I don't have no bad experience.
I always was like with a nice guy, nice, treated very nicely. But
then I think there's a time in your life and to me it's maybe a little late right
now, but you have to learn to like, you always have to learn what you haven't
learned. Maybe people who haven't been in a relationship their whole life, they
should for once force themselves. I'm the other way around. I've always been in a
very supportive, caring relationship. Five years, six years, then again, six years.
So this time I'm trying to learn to be on my own
and I wanna have a family one day.
So there has to be a time when I learn it, you know?
So.
Is your family okay with you dating guys outside of the?
Of course, I have a very, my parents are very.
Open-minded.
Yeah.
That's beautiful.
Yeah.
So he wouldn't have to, if you dated Chris for example.
It wouldn't be a problem bringing someone
that looked like me home.
Yeah, my dad always said,
I wish you would get to know an American comedian
who has a German heritage.
Who has German and a Puerto Rican daughter.
Puerto Rican ex-wife.
And knows how to throw hands.
And knows how to throw hands.
What did you say, Puerto Rican Brooklyn situation, ex-wife?
Yeah, it's called the Sunset Park marriage. The Sunset Park marriage. Yeah, Sunset Park marriage. and knows how to throw hands. What did you say in the Puerto Rican Brooklyn situation, ex-wife?
It's called the Sunset Park marriage.
Yeah, Sunset Park marriage.
And you know, yeah, so, yeah, yeah.
It's just, yeah, you're cursed.
It's my dad's dream.
Yeah, occasionally he's gotta pick up his baby's mama's
mama and take her to an appointment
to get her knee replaced.
And that's about, that's all you have to deal with.
But listen, I'm a good guy, I think people can attest,
I'm a good guy, I love my kid.
What else? So you have one little daughter? I have one little daughter, she's gonna be a good guy. I love my kid. What else?
So you have one little daughter?
I have one little daughter.
She's gonna be four on Sunday.
Nice, very cute.
Yeah, so we're excited.
Very cute.
We got a birthday party.
Yannis was invited, he's not coming.
Yannis just doesn't care.
How many kids do you have, Yannis?
I have zero kids.
Yannis is shooting blanks.
I just got married.
I just got married.
Congrats for that.
Six weeks ago.
Thank you.
Oh, congratulations.
Thank you.
I got a dog.
I got a dog.
What kind of dog?
A German Schäferhund maybe?
No German Schäferhund.
No.
German Schäfer?
How do you say it?
German Shepherd?
Shepherd.
A Dachhund.
I have a Dachshund.
Hitler's favorite dog.
Yeah.
That's a true story.
Hitler's favorite dog.
Dachshund with Hitler's favorite dogs.
It's a true story.
And a German Shepherd's.
Is that a Dackel?
I think you mean a Dackel.
Is that Dackel?
No, I think it was a Dachshund.
The long hot dog once.
He loved those.
Yeah, that's Dackel in Germany. Oh, Dackel. Okay, yeah. Here we call him Dachshund. I have a Dachshund named Larry. mean a dachl. No, I think it was a dachl in the long hot dog ones. He loved those. Yeah, that's dachl in Germany.
Oh, dachl. Okay, yeah. He would call them dachls and I have a dachl named Larry.
That was Hitler's favorite dachl.
That's what my mother said.
They also liked the shepherds.
And Doberman Pinchers.
He just told me that dachl was Hitler's favorite dog. I didn't know that.
We don't know.
If you put the camera on him, they're just going to think you're doing a podcast in Germany.
Yeah, they're going to be like, what is this fucking neo-Nazi doing here?
They're gonna be like, oh, he must be in Frank-wood.
I can't see out of my fucking left eye.
Because you always have some type of ailment.
No, there's no ailments, because what happened was, is I blew out a candle.
I normally don't like candles, but last night I was just feeling good, and I lit a candle
in my apartment, and I went to go blow it out
and the ash and the wax went into my eye
and like lit the inside of my eye on fire.
Yeah, you do have an ailment, you know what it's called?
Being fucking stupid!
Oh.
I mean, you fucking put your face into a candle,
you're fucking stupid.
Because I just normally don't like candles
and then I did, so.
Why'd you like candles?
Do you like Whitney Houston? Did you have company yesterday?
I did yeah
I mean, okay, because I love Whitney Houston if you want to go out and get a slice of pizza with some water
And listen to Whitney Houston on your guy
I've been to a concert when I was a little very little girl with me
She came to Germany to a city called a Schaffen book and I know it it was I was very little
I was so proud to see her like life that was before
I was very little, I was so proud to see her life. That was before Whitney had her bad times,
that was before that.
Is Milly and Vanilla, are they cultural icons in Germany?
I mean, I know them, I think now the generation
wouldn't know them anymore, the younger ones,
but they were the ones with the fake situation, right?
Blame it on the rain.
But they had a huge, big hits in Germany a hundred years ago.
Have you ever considered before you started comedy,
coming to the United States to be an au pair?
No, I never had that idea.
That's a big German thing, au pairs.
They come over, stay for a year.
Stay for a year, fuck a few black guys.
Yeah, well, no, well,
you want us in a sexual relationship with an au pair.
That's just what it is.
Oh, we can't say that, we can't say that, right?
You have to count that out.
You have to count that out. I didn't do that? We can't say that, right? We have to cackle that out. We have to cackle that out. Yeah, we have to cackle that out.
No, I didn't do that.
Maybe because of the reasons.
It's not usually you.
No, but it's usually like, it's usually German girls,
like ethnically German.
Yeah, yeah.
They love black guys,
because there's not a lot of black guys in Germany, right?
So that's exotic for them,
because every au pair I've ever known
ends up banging a black dude.
I fucking would bang a black dude if I, you know,
maybe I will, I don't know.
If I look through your phone right now,
is there something in your Google history where
it says NBA athletes without their shirt on?
Are you Googling that again?
No, I do like to look at men without their shirts on, but it's not a gay thing.
It's just, I like to-
Do you want to sit in James Harden's lap and console him because he lost?
No, but you know who's lap I would sit in?
Dirk Nowitzki's.
Oh wow.
I fucking love Dirk.
Yeah, Dirk is one of the best, best, best, best.
Do you know Dirk Nowitzki?
I don't know him personally, but of course I know him.
He's a legend. He is a living legend.
He's a legend here too.
He just quit it. He just said goodbye a few weeks ago.
So Dirk is one of our heroes.
I love. Shout out to Dirk.
Shout out to Dirk Nowitzki.
Dirk, you're a legend.
Do you like Angela Merkel?
Our... Oh, now it's getting political.
Yeah. Well, she's... Yeah, now it's getting political. Yeah.
Well, she's...
Yeah, but it's why we don't...
Yeah.
Well, yeah, I think she did a good job.
I mean, she's been Kanzlerin, Bundeskanzlerin.
That's how we call it.
She's our Kanzlerin for now.
Is that Chancellor?
Over a decade.
I mean, almost...
What?
Is that word Chancellor?
Or you got rid of that?
Chancellor.
Kanzler.
That's our...
Our president is more like a...
Formel.
I thought you said Führer.
Yeah, I got a little scared for a second.
And then I had to knock my right arm down, because I almost hit one.
Chris, come on!
I'm kidding! It's America! We can do whatever we want!
We're doing the war!
We're fucking free!
So initially, this trip to America, you just wanted to come and do comedy
or did you get booked to do a job out here, like a TV job?
Well, no, I did that last year with LA
to play the Laugh Factory and stuff.
And so this year I had this UTA thing going on
and I was like, yeah, why not?
I'm coming over. Have you met with anyone in UTA here?
Yes, I was at the UTA office
and I met, they're called Mike and Mark,
the two religions.
I was like, Bjorn called me, he was like, Mike and Mark.
I was like, oh, Mike, how is it called?
Mikey Mark, Mark Wahlberg?
Mark Wahlberg.
I was like, oh, okay, Mark Wahlberg is my agent in New York.
That's cool.
True story.
And so, yeah, that was Mike, Mike and Mark.
Mark Wahlberg is actually a guy,
if you give me a title law PM,
I will 100% suck his dick.
That's a guy who's just such a, you know what I mean?
So did my girlfriend in high school.
Yeah, she did.
That's a true story.
True story.
True story, but it's just,
Mark Wahlberg's just the kind of guy,
he's just a handsome guy.
True story, your girlfriend in high school
had a thing with Marky Mark.
I don't know if you'd call it a thing.
I think she just got fanned out.
I think she just threw him in a stairwell.
I mean, if that's what you wanna call a thing
is you're sucking somebody's dick behind a stairwell and cheating on your yeah
I mean look at that guy's body
Yeah, could you imagine looking like that?
1920 how old is he now? I don't even know how 45 48 49 almost 50 because he's legit 5 foot 6
So that's that takes it. Yeah, would you rather have would you rather have a short guy?
That's Jack like that or a short guy that's jacked like that
or a tall guy six three six four who's fat?
Or a mediocre tall guy.
The tall guy who's fat.
The tall guy who's fat, see that's what you can't, yeah.
So I got a shot.
You got a shot.
Because I'm a fat fucking mediocre kid.
No but you're not fat though.
I personally, and that's the true story I don't say,
I don't like it when guys are too, too, too,
I mean like when you have the feeling that he's like working on every app
And I don't like that. No, I mean, yeah, you have to be a that thick
What's the right word? No, you got it. Yeah athletic. You have to be you know healthy. That's cool
But I would always prefer one who has maybe a little overweight or a little underweight to one who's like
Oh my god
I have to have this perfectly done because then then I feel like it's a little too, you know.
Yeah, we're kind of gay.
Yeah.
It's kind of gay.
Let's just call it what it is.
It's kind of gay.
We're talking to you, Justin Silver.
I get the sense of a control freak.
You know, somebody who's like, oh my God, I have to be like,
let me chill, you know?
What'd you say, Jan?
I said, we're talking to you, Justin Silver.
Oh yeah, Justin Silver.
He does another comic call.
I'm sure he'll DM you immediately.
As soon as he sees what you look like,
he'll DM you with some bogus requests.
He works out a lot.
He works out a lot.
What's up?
Do you like Joe?
Shut up, Justin.
Now, Chris is...
How's the comedy scene in here?
Are you guys, like, are you cool with each other?
Yes, very supportive.
Is there also a lot of, like, hate?
Or, like, he hates him?
There's hate.
I think there's, like, it's very kind of corny.
Like, we're all grownups, so it's, like, it's kind of silly. People, there is hate,? There's hate, I think there's like, it's very kind of corny, like we're all grown ups,
so it's like, it's kind of silly.
People, there is hate, but it's very,
for most people it's like very,
like we look at it like, you guys are losers.
Like to hate queens, it's like, for what?
Like we're all in this business together.
All our success, we all help each other here.
So it's like somebody gets a TV show or movie,
they put us, or if, you know, in the movie,
or if we get a TV show or movie, we put them in it.
So it's like, there's, we're all all like a brother sisterhood here. I feel like in
Germany we still have like a lot of I mean we have of course I have close
friends there like someone a few of them really like my brothers or sisters now
like really close and helping each other but we also have a lot like also a very
divided thing like you are the ones with the migrants, with the background.
We're still in the 80s, you know,
when African American comedians raised,
and then maybe the other ones were like,
oh, this is new to us, different topics,
different content, you know?
Still, I feel like we should be more supporting each other.
Maybe, I don't know.
It'll get there.
I mean, you said it's a new art form,
but now it's very supportive here now.
I think, I personally think.
Do you find that other comics that are like
doing American jokes in German,
because that's something that happens overseas a lot.
Oh, they steal, the Europeans can do that.
We have a few comedians, I don't want to name them,
some of them I do even like, you know,
I like them very much. We know their names.
You know their names?
No.
I would be so surprised if you know a name.
One of them's French and his name is Gad.
There you go!
We had one or two comedians and this was so funny. One of them, I even like him. He apologized later.
What do you mean you like him?
I mean he's a friendly guy. I don't know what he did but maybe his mistake was...
I was kidding.
You know when a person is thirsty, not hungry, but thirsty.
Then you give him a water! Why don't you know when a person is like thirsty, not hungry, but thirsty. Like, yeah.
Why don't you give him a water?
Why don't you give him a water?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I should have some water and chill,
maybe just stay hydrated, you know?
So what he did is like, he took from a famous comedian
over here, he didn't even bother to take maybe
a less famous one, you know?
Like one of the famous, and the set was like,
one on one, the same thing.
I believe that. Like one on one.
So then people put it up on YouTube,
but still it wasn't that big because comedy is not that big.
So it wasn't like the whole Germany says what is happening.
It was the small community who say what is happening?
He's a famous comedian in Germany
and he took this set from this famous comedian over here
and people compared it and it was like one,
it wasn't even close or like one gag or like one part. It was the whole thing.
No it wasn't gag. He apologized. No we'll find it. So he apologized and then he put it and he was like
sorry I was under pressure I didn't know blah blah but we still and I feel I mean
I think I would be so angry. No that's a no angry. If anybody takes anything.
You can't do that.
There are no rules in this business.
There are genuinely no rules except that one.
If you steal a joke, it's like being branded
like a pedophile.
It's like whether you're fucking guilty or innocent,
just get away from me.
Just get the fuck away from me.
It's the only thing.
And I know people who are even like trying to legit this thing,
legitimize this thing,
legitimize this thing by saying like, okay,
that's a different country and different,
and this won't bother his career.
Like, yeah, you're fucking stupid crazy.
No, bro, we work for that shit.
That's one world and you cannot,
I mean, then you're just not a true artist.
What is that?
What is that?
I don't understand.
And in Germany, it's still the culture.
Like some of our big comedians,
they have authors writing for them.
I don't know how it's here. Can't do that anymore. I feel it's so weird.
But at least they're not stealing it. Yeah, but still it's whack.
Yeah, you know, it's funny because it used to be that like because comedy I think is newer in Germany
That's the way it used to be in the United States the beginning like comics used to have other guys write from like
Ghost writers. Yeah, I mean like, you know, he still does that. Milton Berle, you would have like six writers.
I'm so sorry.
Jackie Gleason would have writers.
They all had writers.
They did each other's acts.
So that's how it was at the beginning.
So it's probably Germany's going through
what America went through.
You probably go through all the phases we went through.
Same shit.
You'll have your Lenny Bruce,
then you'll have your prior.
Just like in many ways,
what we're going through as a country,
what Europe has already done,
like, you know, going through like all these problems that we have that Europe's like,
you're stupid, like you've been there, done that, like Europe doesn't have the issues we have for the most part.
Yeah, like you mean like single-payer health care, all that?
All that stuff.
So I can tell you like we have three very famous comedians in Germany who had this,
like they had like two one-on-one set from like Seinfeld maybe
one-on-one from Richard Fryer one-on-one from even some people who are famous now
or big right now so but then they apologize then they took it back and
then blah I happily never had that but when I started as I'm Iranian German
girl I remember people were writing like okay okay, so that's the same Maz
Jibrani does, even though there was nothing, it was just like, because I'm Iranian, I'm
talking about Iranian parents. And then Maz invited me to his show in Toronto to be his
support act in Canada. And I was so proud. And then like, everybody, they shut it up
because they were like, okay, he's even inviting her. And I was like, listen, do you think
he would invite me if I even had like one gag like he had, he's even inviting her. And I was like, listen, did you think he would invite me
if I even had like one gag like he had?
You know, I don't.
He was just in New York last week, Maaz,
or two weeks ago.
I just missed him.
How did it go in Canada when you were with him?
Was it fun?
It was awesome.
It was at the Performing Arts Center, something.
Like to me, very big.
1,500 people, two shows in a night.
And I love, like, I love,
to me it means the world when a person like Maz comes to me and says,
Anissa, you're great.
I came off the stage and he was like, you're a superstar.
I don't know if he meant it, if it's just supportive,
but I feel like how people embrace me,
the comedians, but also the audience,
because they're very skeptical.
When I come on stage, they're like this.
Okay, maybe she doesn't look very comedianish. Or like they, but then when they come on stage, they're like this. Okay, this is like, maybe she doesn't look very comedianish
or like they, but then when they hear me talk,
they're like, I love your stuff.
When you're gonna do your own show.
And to me, that means the world, you know?
Who's your favorite comedian of all time?
Like anybody you grew up watching?
I love Chappelle.
I love Chappelle.
I don't, sometimes I still don't know because I wasn't into the
comedy world before I started with comedy. Now I think it's a good thing because I had less
influence. I wasn't influenced by what was happening. That's why sometimes, you know today
sometimes still I watch a show and I'm like he's great, you know somebody should sign him and then
people are like and he said this is this is Michael Jackson, you know, like
This is what happens to me with comedians that I sometimes don't know like I saw my first
Richard Pryor said if a year ago, I started with comedy four years ago
So I just wasn't in the comedy world
But now I feel it's good for me because I'm not influenced by anything which had happened before and now I'm keeping it that way
But I have different comedians
I love I love I love Bill Burr I like Bill Burr I like Louis C.K. I like Chappelle I watch now I watch
old stuff even Robin Williams stuff and I'm like wow that he was good I didn't even know you know
so yeah now I'm getting into it. What's Nigel doing at the hotel? He works there? I I don't want to say something wrong, but I think yeah he or maybe he's even in charge. I don't know
Yeah, yeah, I haven't I've known him since I was like five six years old. He was
The world is so because crazy I tell you if he hadn't tell me that you're his friend
I would have had a hard time to find you and even if I had find you, maybe I would have been too shy to,
can I just write Yanis?
Hi, I'm this comedian from Germany.
So I, so, but he was like, yeah, write to him.
Would you have, if I hadn't said that Nigel recommended me,
would you still have invited me for today?
Yeah.
If I looked at your Instagram, saw you a comic
and you got a lot of followers, come on.
I do, yeah, I do, yeah.
Are you going to Montreal this year?
Did you go last year, just for last?
I have never been, so the spot I had now
at the East Comedy Club thing,
this was a rehearsal spot for the laugh, just for laughs.
Oh, so you might have, what night were you there?
Last week or something, what was it?
No, a few days ago.
I was probably there too.
Oh, I was at the 10th show.
It was very few people in the audience?
It was like 10 people.
Yeah, I was there.
So did you get it?
Are you gonna go tomorrow to audition?
I don't know.
I haven't had, yeah, that was the audition.
So I'm hoping that it worked out for me.
Maybe it didn't, I don't know, but I would love to.
When did you go up, early or later?
Late, very late.
I was like 11 something something.
Yeah, I was at the bar.
I went up early and then I was hanging out at the bar.
We probably just walked past each other. Yeah, yeah, right. Yeah, I was like 10 people in the audience. early and then I was hanging out at the bar. We probably just walked past each other.
Yeah, yeah, right.
Yeah, I was like 10 people in the audience.
So you haven't seen my show, right?
I have a little set.
I did see it, yeah.
I'm gonna watch your shit on Netflix.
Yeah, we're gonna watch it.
It's not in English though.
It's in German.
I don't care, I watch it in German.
It has subtitles.
So it's Dogs of Berlin.
The most funny thing which happened on my subtitles
is that on my second special, the second one,
the Comedians of the world,
I use the German word called Alter.
Alter actually means old guy, but we use it for dude.
Like we say Alter, why did you do that Alter?
This happened Alter.
So I'm from Frankfurt and we pronounce it Allah.
We say, really Allah?
This happened Allah?
This means dude or man.
Okay.
So I'm sorry.
Sounds like Allah though.
Right.
That's what they thought she was pledging allegiance
to ISIS.
Yeah, so this Netflix subtitle in charge of Guy,
he translated the whole thing with Allah.
So my whole special is like, I did that Allah,
this happened Allah.
I was like, come on.
I even gave them the subtitles
because they asked me for it and I gave them,
but they changed it up and now it's Allah. But then they asked me for it. And I gave them, but they changed it up.
And now it's Allah.
But then they asked me, so Netflix said,
any such, do you want us to change it?
I was like, no, no, because my second special,
I want to talk about that.
So just leave it the way, the mistakes you did
on the first one.
So yeah.
Have you been back to Iran?
Had you go, have you been?
I've been when I was 22 and I had a nose job there.
So that was my-
Compliments to the chef.
You get a good, that's a good nose job.
Yeah, it's a little bit,
I think I should maybe go again.
No, no, no, your nose is perfect.
Don't do it too much, babe.
You got a beautiful nose, babe.
So I had a nose job.
Don't do it again.
See, that's what people do.
You know how my nose was, Yanis?
It's perfect, don't do it again.
It was like from here to that TV and then back.
I love that nose, it's a nice nose. So yeah, I had a nose job my first time in Iran and my second I just met my family the
Majority of my family is over there. So just my parents are in Germany and one aunt that's all and one uncle in America
That's yeah, so I ran Iran such an interesting place because now I can't go because I do a lot of political stuff
I tell, really frankly, what I think about the government in Iran, that they...
You'd get killed if you went there.
That they're shit.
What?
You can't go there now.
Well, they don't give...
It's not an official...
They don't give me like, you cannot come.
But actually, I think if I go, they would probably take my passport away and say, first,
you stay here and we check out if you can leave
again or not. So that's my problem. I do because I do talk a lot of against the
right-wing Nazis in Germany. I have right now I have a campaign going on.
Within three days I gained 150,000 followers because I made a
video in the middle of the night. I never thought this would go so viral.
We have a German party right now. It's called the AFD. The AFD has 18% right now and we're talking
about, it's not a conservative party, it's a racist, but we're talking about white people
using the N-word, straightly. And there's this guy, his name is Andreas Wienhardt, so
I'm telling this now for the first time in America. Andreas Wenhard is a guy who made a speech.
He's a German politician.
In his speech, he said, I'm quoting,
every N-word person is sick.
And before they come to Germany,
they should have their health tested.
And that Albanian people are all thieves and something like that.
So I made a video in the middle of the night,
and I was like, what's going on in Germany?
We have 18% voting for a party who's like straight racists, straight
racist. So this video went viral. It had one and a half million clicks. It was just a middle
of the night Instagram video and I gained 150,000 followers and like people were supporting
me from everywhere. They were like, and he said, you were the first celebrity kind of
person who's like talking so openly against this party.
Because right now they're not a minority anymore.
Like a lot of Germans supporting them and saying, this is a democracy, this is a democracy,
okay, it's a democracy, but if you say I want to kill all the other people, this is straight
Hitler talk.
So I even made a song, it's on Spotify and iTunes, a very bad song with autotune all over it.
But I'm saying like, fuck the AFD and fuck this Andy guy.
What's the name of the song? People go find it. What's the name of the song?
It's called Fuck the AFD. Fick the AFD.
Can we find it now?
Yeah, it's on Spotify. It's so full of iTunes autotune.
I was at a studio with my friend and I had 20 minutes time.
I was like, let me do a song. So I didn't.
And so I said, okay, all the income from this song is going to
anti-racism projects and I have some American comedians I called them up
friends like now now you're too and I said could you send me a little video
just to say something like I support you and Lisa against the AFD so finesse
Mitchell finesse sent me one Mazubrani sent me one Max Amini sent me one, Mazubrani sent me one,
Maximini sent me one, Ruben.
From Canada?
No, from LA, you know?
Ruben sent me one.
So a few comedians sent me like support videos.
I haven't posted them yet.
And I was like, thank you so much.
Cause to us, it's a lot when an American comedian
supports you in that.
So, oh, here it is.
Here it is.
You will hate it.
Musically it's trash.
Do you sing?
Yeah, with a lot of autotune I do, yeah, on this one.
It says like, in the middle of the night I just woke up and I did this video I never
thought would just go viral that way. And that's...
This is it, this is the wedding song.
What?
It's funny to hear like a Middle Eastern beat
with German language.
Yeah, I took a Middle Eastern beat,
I put a German language on it,
and I put a lot of art between kids right now. I don't know, just the same over here, the kids are listening
just, and I was like, just put it, like, fuck it up. Put a lot of altitude on it. But it
worked. They were listening to it to support it.
So there you go. Fuck the AFD. AFD, right? Fuck the AFD. I know of guys that look like
me, but fuck you. Fuck the AFD. Fuck the AFD, I know nothing about them.
Yeah, I don't know anything about you.
I don't know anything about the AFD.
I fucking live here where we're free.
All I know is you gotta always watch the Germans.
You gotta watch the Germans.
You gotta watch those slippery fucks.
This is their argument.
They say this is a democracy, so we're free.
We can say whatever we want.
But in Germany, you have restrictions
because of what happened to us and the third, because
of the Holocaust.
Our freedom of speech is a little restricted.
Like, you have freedom of speech, of course, but you cannot talk racist talk.
You cannot go out with a t-shirt and a swastika on it.
This is forbidden for a reason.
So I think what's happening now, and're kind of, you know, slipping through,
saying what they say, putting up their election posters very weird, like Islam and Muslim
is like blah blah blah, they're going to take over our wives, our kibbeh. So I'm trying
to speak for them a little bit, even though me, I'm not even raised religiously, like
my parents are straightly.
What happened in Iran though?
Iran used to be secular and then it was like kind of taken over as a theocracy.
It became a theocracy.
That's right, yeah.
That's right.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, secular, we had a monarchy which was very open.
My mom was wearing mini skirts,
but still at that time, freedom of speech wasn't.
Now it's like totally shit.
Now everybody wishes we had that times back.
But there was sort of a theocratic takeover.
Of course, that's what it was.
And so a revolution happened, people were on their steeds
and people were like, we want our freedom
and then even it got worse.
So yeah, that's what we have now.
And it's still like that now, right?
Yeah, it's very bad.
I mean, sometimes it gets better.
People are very, Iranian people are very, they're fighters.
You know, they're on the street, they're fighting,
they're in the jails for saying what they wanna say.
You know, I know a lot of students who are really like
fighting with their lives to have the country free again.
So I hope that they will get there.
Insha'Allah, we would say. So if God wants, if God there. Inshallah, we would say.
So if God wants.
Europe, Europe, Europe generally is like,
there's a problem now in all, in all the countries.
There's like this, the right wing is really popped up.
Right.
There's a, there's a real problem.
Right. Yeah.
I mean, it has really popped.
Even in like Denmark, Sweden, all those countries,
there's a, there's a huge right wing party.
France, Italy, everywhere.
And they're gaining a lot of seats
in the parliament and stuff like that.
What are you gonna do?
Well, Anissa, thank you so much for coming on.
Thank you, Chris.
Where can people find you?
They can find me on Instagram.
It's Anissa, it's E-N-I-S-S-A.
So I'm Anissa Amani, I'm on Instagram,
and I'll be here in New York the whole month.
And you'll be with me on Thursday.
I'll be with Chris at the Fat Black.
In Queens to eat some German food.
You're gonna eat German food and pizza in in Queens and then we have a show.
And pizza in Queens and the show!
When is your show?
The show's Thursday, this Thursday, 10 o'clock.
I'll be at your show and Yanis, I'll have you and your wife over in Chinatown where
my hotel is.
There we go, yeah.
To have some Chinese food.
Excellent, yeah.
So I was so proud to be here.
Thank you for having me.
Yeah, of course.
Thanks for coming on.
Appreciate it.
Fuck the AFD.
