History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - Epstein Offed Himself Cuz of Will Smith Rap W/ Mike Vecchione | History Hyenas

Episode Date: July 10, 2025

Was Epstein not an intelligence asset? Is Will Smith the greatest rapper of all time? Is Youngstown the best city in America? We tackle it all—and fire off some kaka balls—with the hilarious Mike Vecchione. Don’t miss his new special Low Income White, out now on Nate Bargatze’s Nateland youtube channel. This one gets wild! Support our sponsors: Go to https://quince.com/hyenas for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get 20% off + free shipping with promo code HYENAS at https://shopmando.com! #mandopod Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://BlueChew.com! Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code HYENAS -- just pay $5 shipping. #comedy #Podcast #History Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas/ Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit.ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0 Hyenas Merch!!! https://teespring.com/stores/historyhyenas Follow us Cuz! 🙆🏻‍♂️ Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ 🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ 🐕More Hyenas Website: www.historyhyenasisback.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/historyhyenas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HistoryHyenas Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/historyhyenaspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Guys, this was a fantastic episode. We had our friend, longtime friend, comedian Mike Vecchione on the episode. He's got a special out right now on Nate Bargatze's production company's YouTube channel, Nate Land Entertainment. Check it out. It's called Low Income White. This episode actually turned out to be hilarious. We talk Epstein. We talk all types of things. Wrestling, Youngstown, Ohio, how he has a cop face. We talk about it all. We talk about it all. We talk about it all. So yeah, enjoy it. Enjoy that episode and then go to history, hihienasisback.com to see mine and Giannis's stand updates.

We're both performing in July and August, so go check out, see if we're coming to a city near you. Now enjoy the episode, you low income white. What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What's up everybody? Welcome to another episode of History Hyenas. Today we're going to be talking about the history of when things were good and when Youngstown was flourishing.

It was a good old Bruce Springsteen, Rust Belt town, iron workers were making iron or steel or something white guys used to do with muscles and dirty fingernails. And then a guy was created and became a school teacher and then became a comedian and in that neighborhood he was... But he's a funny guy. He's from the heartland, our good friend, one of the funniest comedians we've all ever seen, who's got a new special out, and that person is Mike Vecchione. Well, thank you for having me, guys. I appreciate it.

That was quite an intro. Mike Vecchione, who's, he's really got a lot of good comments on YouTube. Yeah. Yeah. Please be kind on YouTube. Yeah, that's just gonna make it work. And I got the glasses on today

because I'm actively doing cocaine again. Yeah. The special's on YouTube. Go check it out. It's on Nate Land Entertainment, which I came up with the name Nate Land. Did you? Yeah, I haven't spoken to him in a couple of months or whatever. So you tell him I'm coming, I'm suing him, and I want my peace for gaming in Nate Land. Well, that's why you haven't spoken in a couple of months because what you don't know is that Mike Vecchione and I are actual defendants in Nate's lawsuit against you. Yeah, so we're allowed to talk to you, but we can't talk about Nate because Nate is actively suing you. Yeah, well now that I'm sitting on the side of you guys right now, I feel like I'm in a police interrogation.

How about we feel like we're at a diner? They're all closing. Diners are? They're all closing. Diners are? They're all closing. They made it through COVID and now they're closing? Yeah. Now they're closing. Everyone's opening up a vape shop instead.

It's the vapes. Vapes of the future. Vote Mom Donnie. Yeah. Vapes and pot. That'll be good. And pots too. Mike, by the way, round of applause, property owner,

new property owner Mike Vecchio. Yes, property owner. Also the name of Yonis' special. Which is also on YouTube. Yes. Amongst the millions that are now on YouTube. I do, yeah. Yeah.

I'm gonna do a comedy, I'm gonna do a comedy not special. I'm gonna do it where it's no comedy, and it's only 10 seconds. Well, I tell you- I'm gonna do the opposite. No, this is what I thought, if this special doesn't do well,

my next special's just gonna be me falling down a flight of stairs, right? And they're just over and over again, and then somebody's gonna go I saw that before this is dubbed This is dubbed this guy's fake. Yeah, I'm not really falling down the stairs. Yes. Yeah What if I did it? What if I did a special and then did a take down of me? Yes, that's get ahead of it get ahead of it do it take down to me That should be a great way to promote out and they're read a book about it And then yeah, I need to I need to take myself

I think you need to start we need to start taking ourselves down and Preemptively yeah, and I think those videos will do better than the videos of the thing I actually thought about I'm sorry I actually thought about doing my friends and just a picture just a takedown of my friends roasting them Yeah, just taking time writing like a do you guys like individually and it's like this week and just a take down of my friends, roasting them. Just taking time writing, like a do you guys, like individually, and it's like this week, it's Chris and I just take him down.

Like just do a lot, like a roast. Yeah, yeah, just take him down. Yeah, and then against your will even. Yeah, that's what I mean, like in other words, you don't even tell us about it, I just have to wake up to the news. Yes! I kinda like that.

Wake up to the news. My own is taking down Chris DeFunze. DeFuno! DeFuno! Instead of his real name what's his real situation? Yeah cuz what's he doing? What are we all doing? Now Mike how does it feel now when did you know you got the special out you just bought a nice little... Well I know it sounds good but I do have a 100 year mortgage. First one in history. Nice.

A hundred years. A hundred year mortgage. And you got it now which probably means your rate is what? 12.6? Yes. Their usury rates, it's loan shark type rates. I insisted on it. Right.

Well, it's a new form of slavery right now during this economy. Right. Yeah, the mortgage rates are the absolute worst, but you own a nice little piece. Now, what, for the apartment, I assume it's in New York City, for the apartment that you bought in New York City. Is that the dress? So the people can show up. Let's have fun.

And be animals on my doorstep? Can I just, just for one second, just interrupt, I just wanna, just for one second. What are you doing? What do you mean? What is this new thing where you start the podcast with sunglasses and then you take them off immediately, like you're a fucking cop in Los Angeles giving me

a speeding ticket and then you need to read the ticket because what I've decided what is going on I need to keep you on your toes yeah I mean what's going on I gotta keep you guessing you need to take your glasses off yeah and then I'll put your glasses on. Those are readers. But this is the last two episodes where he's put glasses on at the beginning. Look at me, I'm a great... And then he looked over and the glasses are just gone. Is it a decision where you try to see how you feel in them? I gotta be honest with you. You cannot see.

No, I'm blind. This is so bad. You can't see at all. You look like your own accountant. Yeah. I really do. Yeah, look at me. Yeah.

Does this work because my eyes are too far apart here? There's nothing you can do when you put glasses on. You just look like a guy at a gym who's reading the back of a crentide bottle. Is this monohydrate? You look like you're ready to give nutritional information. Like, dude, you gotta cut back. You gotta skip lunch. Yeah. You have the face and the body of a meathead and the personality of a descendant of Holocaust. Wait, hold on. Let me throw those glasses on. Rad 14.

Yeah, there we go. And they're crooked. Yeah, it's just what it is. And now do you feel comfortable? And they're kind of dirty. Yeah, they're kind of dirty. Are you testing out the glasses? Look, what do they keep going on and off for?

You know what, cuz? I don't know. Sometimes these things make me feel invisible when I just don't want to be seen. Well, you look like a crooked cop. I really do and I feel like one. Now Mike, what I was gonna ask you is, is when the apartment that you bought in New York City, how much real estate would that get you in Youngstown, Ohio, your hometown?

Would it get you the town? Would you be mayor? I think I could buy a block. Right? Because a house is like a pack of cigarettes. Yeah. Right. So the Chinese haven't gotten there yet.

That's what I was getting to. To a real estate company. They haven't infiltrated. Now I got another question. When you join Nateland Entertainment, do you have to be baptized? You. They look for your baptismal records.

Do they, does he dunk you in the water? Yeah, he does. That's live stream. That's live stream, yeah. That should be live stream. That should be a thing. A baptism. That should be a thing. And baptism. That should be a thing.

And then if you're on the outs, you get exported, deported from Nate Land. Yeah, you do. On the outs for it. It's like my first show when I was taping the special, I know it's hard to believe, it didn't go as well as the second show, so I was in danger of being deported.

What happened on the first show? I had the people, it wasn't as, the laughs weren't as poppy as the second show. You know how you do two shows. Where was it, where'd you film? Maybe you guys nail it on the first. But it's always two shows at least. And then you just pick the editing

from the better of the two shows. Where'd you film it? Nashville. Where though in Nashville? Zany's. Oh Zany's lab. One of the best clubs. I filmed the last one at the Zany's the club

and this one at the Zany's lab. I was joking with the owner. I was like, my next special is gonna be in a garage. Yes. Out back. I would have liked, cause what Zany's... Zany's lab is great by the way. Zany's lab is great.

I would have liked cause Zany's very famously, a few years ago had a truck drive through the wall. That would have been great for the special. That would have been great for the special. Just you're on stage, have the truck drive through the wall and you just keep going. Through Nate's face. Yeah. You get to give him space on the wall. It's great. Just you're on stage, have the truck drive through the wall, and you just keep going. Through Nate's face. He's got his face on the wall.

It's great. Drive through Nate's face. Yeah. Is that the face the truck took down, Nate's face? That's hilarious. That's actually a baptism in the South. Right. Driving a truck through a man's face.

Well, actually, and that's when his career started to blow up. So I wonder if that was some type of witchcraft, some type of Nashville witchcraft, where they drove through his face, and then there was some kind of deal made with Satan himself and then you just Become this international power. I wonder if that happened. I'm gonna ask Nate about that Do you does that have anything to do with the truck driving to your face? Success and we'll see what he says. So it'll probably do is block me you think you may

You won't even get to him. Yeah, there's six layers before you get before I get to you have to get through Graham K First yeah, yeah, I can tell Graham K's doing coke. Yeah get to him. There's six layers before you get to him. You're gonna have to get through Graham Kay first. I can tell Graham Kay's doing coke. You gotta get through Graham Kay, you gotta get through Mike Vecchione, you gotta get through Warren, you gotta get through Dusty Slay. The way I get through Dusty Slay is I can just, anything I can say is in the name of Jesus Christ and I'm doing this for Jesus and Dusty Slay will allow it. Dusty Slay talked to me when we had breakfast once in Cleveland, I love Dusty Slay, he talked to me about he won't eat leaven bread that he won't eat bread

that wasn't made the way the Bible says to make it and I said I respect that and I said there's no way that they're gonna be able to make that kind of bread here because we are out of Denny's. Yeah, but you know what? So they don't make bread the biblical way. We're about to do an episode after this on the Barbary pirates. Of Tripoli, not Sam Tripoli. Of the Muslim countries that enslaved. Oh, they're called Houthis now.

Yeah, they used to enslave. I call them Mamdhanis. Yeah, they're Mamdhanis. And since it makes me wanna join Nate Land. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you mean- The Muslims have saved the Christians, and I think maybe it makes me wanna join Nate join. I think Nate, I think if we got into an active Crusades

right now, just put us in a situation where we are in an active Crusades. It is the Christians versus the Muslims. I think at the head of at the head of our Christian army, we have Nate Barghazi and at the head of their Muslim army, they have Dave Chappelle and Michelle Wolf. That's why. Let's face off. And that would be the face off. And I do give the edge to Nate and the Christians. Who's the king of the Jews? The king of the Jews, you got to give that. And the Jews fight with us by the way.

Yeah, just on face alone, of course, it's got to go to the great Ari Shaffir. 100%, that's what I'm saying. Happy merchant meeting. Yeah, with as a little farther back, you have Modi and Elon, go ahead. Yeah. They're also on that team.

And by the way, I just want to give a quick, you know, shout out, not shout out, I want to give a quick. To our Lord. I want that, but I want to tell the fans who are going to patreon.com slash history hyenas and making chat GPT memes of me or Janis in a Nazi uniform shooting Ari Shafir on his knees, that it's not okay and we do not condone that.

No, we do laugh at it but we do not think it's okay. Do not do that again, and Ari wouldn't like that either, and I know that because I texted it to him. Yeah. You texted like, can you believe it? Yeah, yeah. Is this okay? Yeah, he was like, I'm going through a lot,

I'm leaving New York, and I was like, will this make you feel better? Yeah, yeah. Well, the good news is, Ari, by the way, the best human being. 100%, the best human being. People don't know that. Yeah, he is. Or maybe they do, I don't know. He is um Ari by the way the best human being hundred percent the best human people don't know that Yeah, he is or maybe they do. I don't know he is the best I mean, you know the Chrysler family might not think so, but we think he's

And I think I think the Bryant family might have a different opinion Yeah, but but but we here in the comedy community. We are Ari Shaffir Lovers and like I and like I always like to, you never know who your friends are until Kobe does. Because that's when I already found out who his true friends were. And I was one of them. Yeah, you're one of them. I call them and say, just keep your head up, buddy. Keep your head up. Now, Mike, also what I like about Mike V is you are committed. You are committed to that haircut. Loc. For years. For years. Yes, for years. I knew you both before you had family too.

I knew you both before you had family. You did, and I like fans. I know the context. And you've had that haircut so long where it was out of style and you kept it, now it's coming back in style. So you just, you do not waver. Yeah, you hold the line.

Yeah, hold the line. High and tight. He has gone with the white man flat top, the state trooper flat top. He will be at an old folks home and he will still have that. That haircut, it started out when he first got it as a cop blocking a protest and now it's went all the way around to a female at a protest. That's what the haircut is all the way around the sun once and that's what I appreciate

about Mike. Yeah because you're a simple guy, you're not a guy who follows the trends, you're a workhorse. You got that Youngstown kind of let me get at these jokes. Right. You show up at the factory you put your lunch pail down and you just go to work. You're not a guy who is gonna follow. I'm not a half-backwards guy. Yeah you're just not. I'm not a half-backwards guy. I'm not a I let my hair flow. Yeah. Looks like the people see it. It actually looks like we're two teenagers having our father give us a talking to.

Yeah. That's what it looks like right now. He's sitting us down, he goes, hey, the way you guys are talking to your mother is not okay. You can't disrespect her like that. That's my job. Don't talk back to your mother. Yeah.

They get both grounded. Yeah. And all we got to do is get Sal Vulcano and Mateo Leydon here, and I think we've had every podcast host you've had on the same day. 100%, yes! Yes. Every single person has had. All your exes.

They're all here. Oh my God. Yes. And we still talk. Yes. Yeah, cuz. You're like the Pete Davidson of podcasting. 100%.

You run through a lot of tail. He puts up his hot women, I put up my hot podcast hosts. Yeah. Yeah. And all of your podcast hosts have been hot. They've all been hot. I haven't had one. Were you with Mateo?

I was with Mateo. We did a brief stint last summer and I always got a hottie with a body. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, but he's the hottest. I'm honored then to be in that category. Well, that's what I was gonna get to is my-

I'm the least successful of all the hosts. No, I would not say that. Well. I would not say that. He's podcasting with me, so I would not say that. Yeah. Yeah. Yon has took, yeah, Yon has took the hosts. No, I would not say that. Well. I would not say that. He's podcasting with me, so I would not say that. Yeah. Yeah, Yanis took the bus. Yeah.

So. Yanis. Yeah. Yeah, it's just, you know, you gotta measure me by expectation. Yanis actually lives in Poughkeepsie. Yes, yeah. Yeah, where the house, it's like going to Youngstown

from Poughkeepsie is like a lateral move. It's like, I like the- How is the Metro North? I like to call it the Youngstown of theown from Poughkeepsie, it's like a lateral move. It's like, I like to- How is the Metro North? I like to call it the Youngstown of the Northeast, Poughkeepsie. I've been to Youngstown, I gotta admit, have you ever been to Youngstown? Actually, no, I haven't, I'd like to go. A slow guitar starts to, an acoustic starts to strum

when you get into the state limits. Everyone's getting banged like in deliverance. Yeah, I like to call it the tears of America. Right. Like, it's like America's tears. Right. It's like you go to Youngstown and you're like, this is what we used to be.

But every 10 years, there's just somebody does a documentary, it's like, Youngstown's coming back, we're not down. It's like, and then it's nothing happens. Right down again. Yeah, nothing happens. But what is it, what is holding Youngstown back right now? Would you say?

There's just no industry. And they haven't found a, it's since the eighties, since this late seventies. They haven't found a replacement. It's like many other Rust Belt cities. You can't just buy them. But it's a great place. And the people have just, the city is kind of like

evacuated and people, if you have any kind of means, you live in the suburbs now. Have they made like all the former warehouses into cool apartments yet? Not yet. It's coming though. But you need some kind of means you live in the suburbs now. Have they made all the former warehouses into cool apartments yet? Not yet. But that's coming. But you need some kind of an attraction, maybe a casino.

Yeah. Or maybe a water park in the middle of the city. Bring in the Native Americans is what you're saying. Bring in, yes, let's bring in the tribes. Corrupted by Italians. 100%. But in the Native Americans. Bring it in.

That's the way it should be. You need only, there's like three things you need to inject into your city. What's the starter kit? Revitalize. The starter kit is you're either gonna, it's either gotta become like a young hot town for very liberal kids with different colored hair. That helps. That helps a lot.

That's a Starbucks. Yeah, you need like a hipster influx. You need Chinese to get interested in it for some reason. That's another thing that can happen. Or you need to legalize gambling and prostitution. And prostitution. Yeah, those are the three that really... This is where, though, Mike's original idea of what they need is a casino, because you're

bringing in gambling and casinos are like catnip for the Chinese. They cannot stay away from a casino. Asian people love casinos in a way that I've never seen before. If you put a casino in Youngstown, Ohio, you will think that you literally will wake up one day and be like, I am now in Beijing. They will clock there. But doesn't it, just from my experiences in Atlantic City, it actually doesn't help the surrounding area when they put a casino in. No, no, that's a good point.

It's a good point, That's a crazy city. But we're trying to make money here together, Mike. And we're just trying to get some money to run out. We are Nate Land Casinos. Nate Land Casinos? Yeah, clean casinos. Yeah. No cursing at the table.

Yeah, no cigarettes, only the ones that look like a cigarette but it's actual candy. Yeah, no, it's actually, it's just chewing tobacco. Oh, that you can have, chewing tobacco. Did he quit that yet, Nate? I have been on the road with him for a little while. Yeah. Do you have any Nate?

I think Nate is healthy now, man. Yeah, I think he is. He's healthy, Nate. He's gotta be. He's gotta be looking good. He does look good. And I'm telling you, and this is what I was trying to get at, the reason why he's healthy

is because of the Mike Vecchione influence, because Mike Vecchione has been a healthy guy. I've known you for 15 years. You always are very conscious of calories in calories out. But you're mid fasting. No, I was fat at times and then at your wedding I was very fat. Really?

Yeah, yeah, I was heavy. And you could see it in my face in certain videos and stuff. It's like, but I'm doing, like I've talked to you before about these practices. It's just to stay off medication. Like I just wanna feel good. Right. It's not, I don't have any grand illusions.

Not to be ripped anymore. Well no, I just wanna feel good. Right. It's not, I don't have any grand illusions. Not to be ripped anymore. Well, no, I wanna be in good shape, but the one thing is like, I don't wanna be on medication and I wanna feel good every day. So I find that if you suffer a little bit, it'll help you to feel good on the other end. Like this morning I got up and worked out,

we got a gym in the building. So I go down, no coffee, it's very hard for me to do, and get a workout in, out of bed, no coffee. And then, like, I feel good right now because of that. Well, you were the one who told me, you were the one, and I started practicing this, you used to do delayed coffee. You would have your coffee, but delay it.

And then I started doing it, and it works better. It does work, you feel better, right? Yeah. And then, and so, but what, that's fascinating what you just said. You- But it's that people are like, when I tell people, like I'll tell people because it's like,

oh, these practices helped me in my life, maybe it could help you. I'm not doing it to like, I do this and I do an extreme this and that. You're doing it not to blow your brains out. Yes. Yeah. Basically, you know what I mean?

But are you also telling me that- I'm trying to like to tell people like, may this little strategy help? So that little, it's like giving little strategies that have helped me. I'm by no means an expert, which everyone is now, but it's just to give some insight, but it's not like, I'm not an extreme athlete

or a distance runner or any of that crap. But you're telling me that you're a white Italian-American male over the age of 40 who's got a wife and owns property. Most things disproved themselves, white and Italian. Yeah, and you're a property owner with a wife and you are not on any type of blood pressure or cholesterol medication. No, I'm on blood pressure. Okay, because I was going to say that's like Puerto Rican girl being 21

and not having a kid, you don't see it. Let's go to our sponsor, Losartan, right now. I'm on 50 milligrams Losartan, dog. That's it, you got me. I got you, because I'm 10 years older. Blood pressure, but no cholesterol. Your cholesterol's good. Now it's border.

What does border mean? What's the number? I don't know what the number is, but the last time I was in Get the numbers, we'll wait. Well? I don't know what the number is, but the last time. Get the numbers, we'll wait. Well, I don't know. I have bad, I have not good health insurance. Right. Now do you think-

Can Mom Donnie fix that? Do you think some of your- No, no. No, but the health insurance thing is, you wanna talk about something that's wild. Yes. It's the podcast. Yes.

Okay, so the health insurance is like, I'm paying every month and then the deductible, it's the podcast. Yes. Okay, so the health insurance is like, I'm paying every month and then the deductible, it's just nuts. It's like, I'm not in SAG, I'm in SAG, but I don't have that insurance anymore, I had it for a while. Same with me, I lost the SAG. I lost it, so I'm just paying out of pocket now

and it's like, you're paying an insane amount of money every month and then it's just a $4,000, so it's four grand if I need anything. Right. Immediately, off the bat. You understand what Luigi did. I understand, this is how there's a thing where there's no nuance.

It's people going, first degree murder is wrong and if you excuse it, then you're a pro. It's like, yeah, of course. And then other people like, he's actually a hero because these companies shouldn't exist. It's like both things are true. First degree murder is wrong, period. New sentence, these companies shouldn't exist. It's like both things are true. First degree murder is wrong, period. New sentence, these companies shouldn't exist.

Look up what your company is. I looked at my company, it's worth $28 billion. $28 billion, that shouldn't exist, man. That's nuts. Your argument is coming from a place before we all had to make content to each other. Yeah, you're coming from a place of reason and that doesn't get the views.

So pick a side, Pick a size, Mike! All right, I'm sorry. Now my next question is, do you think your blood pressure may be a little high? Because Mike Vecchione is one of the greatest guys in comedy. Nobody ever has a bad thing to say about Mike Vecchione. But your genetic code, being Italian, being from Rungetown,

do you think not being able to say slurs or all this stuff? Yes, that's what I was going to say. Because we often say sometimes that could be prescribed, like in your car at least. Just yell something about the Chinese, something to get it out, get the money. Because your brain wants to say it. Your face wants to say it.

But you will not and you would never ever ever say it. And it just raises the pressure. My genetics want to say out loud how good things used to be and how bad things are now. I mean things used to be great, you could leave now. I mean, things used to be great. You could leave your doors unlocked. You could put food on the table. You could put a kid through college.

Now you can't do that. You don't even know your gender now. They say your gender, you're canceled. It was a great day before these fucking Ecuadorians and then you go. That's the- You needed one group to escape. Yeah, Ecuadorians.

Ecuadorians, yeah. That's like a guy like- What about the primarians? You don't hear about them? Where are they? With the guys like you, like if you came in, I'm a doctor and you say, I take you, you got high blood pressure, I take a look at you, and what I would do first is I'd put on a documentary of George Washington and I'd say if his pressure comes down, that's

all he needs. But if it doesn't, then I've got to put you on meds. And I would allow you, just in the thing, I'd say, read these slurs, just get it out, let's see what happens in real time. Because, you know, the thing is about Mike Vecchione, he's just a good guy. He's just a very good, great guy. I go one of the best. And that's the thing about you two guys that's so interesting is because- Well, I say the slurs! No, you say the slurs, but you have a very anxious, kind of dewy personality. We are.

But you don't look that way, and you have kind of like, yeah, and you talk about it all the time. You got that look where you're going to say the Ecuadorians, but in fact you will defend the Ecuadorians and say that this is an unjust situation. Everyone needs to find love. Yeah. So, and Youngstown, and because of that, we all accept you and love you and obviously they, but because of that, at home in Youngst love you and obviously, but because of that,

at home in Youngstown, Ohio, they hear some of your content and they say, oh, we have a gay comedian from Youngstown, Ohio, because he won't shit on the Ecuadorian. They say, oh, the gay guy from, I didn't know he was gay is what they say about mine. Unfortunate. Can I pitch my idea? Because I want to leave comedy, so segregated.

Oh, you're doing it in the net? I'm doing it right now. You're quitting. I want out, yeah. Well, I want to see how the special? You're doing it right now. You're quitting. I want out, yeah. Well, I want to see how the special does. Right. If it does good, then I'll come back. But if it doesn't do anyone, if it doesn't,

I was telling you guys before the show, my next special is gonna be me falling down a flight of stairs. Yes. And then if that doesn't work, this is my idea. Segregated cemeteries. Segregated cemeteries. And the pitch is, you don't have to be next to those people anymore.

Right? Yes, I like that. I actually think that's a great idea. I like that's a great idea. It's a great idea. Yeah. The other idea, I have a lot of cemetery ideas. This might already be happening,

where it's like the headstone, you go to visit your loved one, right? But on every headstone, there's a QR code, since we're all making content, and it's a documentary about the person. That's a great idea, dude. You should be in the funeral business. Are you guys have a production company

that I could pitch it to? Jesse. Yeah. It's called Pseudo Penis Inc. Yeah, yeah. We just found it. We're actually looking for a way to revive Ditch Films. This might be the first idea.

Yeah, Ditch Films. Which he's an alum of. Ditch Films. He's an early alum. That's right. Because he was, let me tell you something, you know me a long time. You know I like to what I like is what I like. I don't really follow trends. Yeah. And how excited were we when we got Quince? Because the only thing, there's two things in in life that Yanni loves and that is merchandise from Quince and women's feet. Those are the things that Yanni can't live without. These are crisp right here.

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Please support our show. Tell them that we sent you, Mando's got you covered. Protect your pits. Smell great, doing it. No fumaray. Yeah, he's an early alum and Copface. Copface, God, did that have a lot of future stars in it. Yes, it did.

Copface was great. Nick Fargatis was in it. Ali Wong was the therapist. Go watch Copface on Ditch Films YouTube. I remember watching that sketch. I was like an open micer in comedy. I was like, I've gotta be in that. Here's how much I didn't get the internet

and the short attention span thing early. Now, I thought you got it more than anybody. Yeah, I was gonna say. You were the pioneer, you were the George Washington of it. I know, we got some things, but then with that. You were a trans George Washington, more recent. With that thing, I should have made it like 90 seconds. It should have been like two minute piece.

The first one we cut was like 23 minutes. So it was like, I remember Ali Wong going like, don't you think it's a little long? And I was like, I think it's perfect. Yeah, yeah. Because I just love it. But you were way ahead of your time, man. We were all trying to get in the clubs and be in the clubs and everything. And it's like, you were in's perfect. Yeah, yeah. Cause I just- But you were way ahead of your time, man. We were all trying to get in the clubs

and be in the clubs and everything. And it's like, you were in the club, you're doing that, but also you were doing the video stuff, which was, and that's when YouTube was all like puppies. Yeah, yeah. But you know what? And then I was like, you know what? I'm not a real comedian.

I gotta go, I gotta go do the half hour. And then, and Schultz was sitting there going like, no, no, he's right. I'm gonna do that. And then he took it and ran. He took it and ran. You can go watch my half hour and be the sixth person who saw it on Comedy Central.

I think everybody's half hour just got eaten up. I remember when it premiered. I remember premiered, I had that show. Good business model, by the way, Comedy Central. Have everybody do half hours, all the best comedians, and then lock down. Yeah, no one can and then put it on Fridays at midnight Nates was actually the funniest yes, they put Nates on opposite the Mayweather pack. Yeah Yes, yes, he goes. I didn't even watch my own No, I always said Comedy Central was a great place

to go to if you wanted to hide your special. Yeah. That's a great place. I feel like we missed though, or I've, you know, cause I started really like 2009, 2010, those glory years of Comedy Central was like the early 2010s. But that, I don't even know, it's Comedy Central.

I was coming in then, so I didn't, I didn't in then, so I didn't get the Lounge Lizards. Premium Blend. Or Premium Blend, yeah, I came after, I came at the live of Gotham. Yeah, yeah, when it was already on, but it's Comedy Central. Which is different than Gotham Comedy Live, by the way. Which is on Axis TV, it was.

Axis TV, yeah. Is it there, is Comedy Central, this is an honest question, is it still a network? It is. I'm not even shitting on it, I'm earnest. It is, South Park and nothing else. It's The Office, it's all these reruns. So no new content is what I'm saying,

other than the Daily Show. No, but give them some credit for taking a chance on a show like The Office. Yes. Yes. I watch it and I'm like, really? Yeah. They fired everybody.

Yeah. And then they're just, I thought it was gonna be like an MTV, I thought MTV bought it or something, but I thought it was gonna be like Dance party what I don't even ridiculousness But it's now it's just like it's not just the Daily Show to write on the Daily Show Yeah, but the numbers of the Daily Show are so low that I watch it online But South Park still it gets those real numbers on television television people still watch South South Park still gets people watch. Does real numbers on television. On television. People still watch South Park. Wow, what a legendary show.

Legendary. It holds up that whole network. It's funny how all those networks became like one show. It was like The Jokers was that channel. I don't remember. True TV. True TV. It was just The Jokers.

And then you go to MTV. It's just ridiculousness. And they play it over and over and over. But again, it's the same thing as we were talking about before the pod started. It's like you go to a YouTube channel or an Instagram page to see your one creator, and this is what these networks are becoming.

We have one thing here. Yes, right. That's exactly right. And things change so fast now, it's crazy. There's some kid now who's coming up who's gonna know Will Smith as just the worst rapper. Have you seen this rap? Will Smith's rap? No, uh-uh.

It's not, it's, I don't like to, you know, sometimes you're like, oh, people are trying things, but I gotta say objectively, not that I'm a rapper, but objectively, it's horrifying to watch. It's tough to watch. It's bad, and he's taking it. Well, these guys who are famous for a long period of time, they're kind of like, they're out of reality,

no matter who, you know what I mean? Like, if you're famous as an 18-year-old or a 19-year-old and then you're just famous till you're, whatever, you just become in your own delusion. You have too many yes people around you, you don't know what's a good idea and a bad idea anymore, you're full of yourself, I think. Everyone tells you you're great.

Yeah. So you're doing something crazy terrible and no one's there to go, hey, I don't think this is any good. Right, yeah, it is tough to watch. It's sort of like the hip hop genres of Gaza. I mean, it's tough. It's just tough to watch.

Like when the clips come up, it's like I'll see like a war crime clip and then Will Smith and both of them make me just go, whoa, yeah. Is it still clean rap or is it like? He's talking, the problem with this song is he's talking about I want a girl and he's 56 years old. So the whole thing of the song is I want a girl,

I want a pretty girl, I want a pretty girl and you're like, well, can you say woman? Because when you say girl, it just makes me feel weird. Yeah, it's just, he's getting ripped up and I'll just give you a little sample. He's still making movies though, right? No, not since the slap thing. He kind of lost credibility.

This is it. And the crowd goes wild, awkward. Performance by Will Smith. It's tough to watch. I mean, at one time he was one of the five biggest movie stars in the country. And now he's gone back to his rap, which wasn't good when he was Fresh Prince.

He had one summertime hit with Jazzy Jav. It was a different time back then, so for that time I think it was okay. It was very mainstream, digestible. Yeah, it was very digestible. No Wi-Fi in here again? What a studio we have. We are outta here.

We're outta here. We're done. We're leaving. We're going back to gas digital. Yeah. Yeah, well they have wifi at least. Yeah, Will Smith probably is behind it. He slapped the wifi. He slapped the wifi right out.

Yeah, I mean, you just, you know, to sit next to a Puerto Rican guy saying the N word with the hard R and a black baby, baby face is worth it for wifi. Yeah. As long as, at least they got wifi. Yeah, I may have to fucking box Lewis. Yeah. As long as, at least they got Wi-Fi. Yeah, I may have to fucking box Lewis, but at least, at least they have Wi-Fi.

If you fight Lewis, he'll live stream it. Yeah. He'll go, look, let's make some money. Yeah. Let's live stream it. Yeah. I mean, I love doing, I love all those guys, but you know, the first episode I was on,

Allegiantist Gang, the title was... Hahahaha. And then from there on, he just asks every week, are you available? I'll tell you right now. I go, it depends on what the topic is. I'll tell you I go it depends on what I'll talk right now You honest if you want to name your special that that's not getting on Nate lint. It's not That's not good. I could just tell you that I'm not a manager. I'm not his man. I'll be the one to stop Yeah, I'll step in so no, but the

The slap like I love how everybody like like some people were like, well, if that was me, I was like, if that was me, I would have reacted, I thought Chris Rock reacted the best that you could possibly react. I'm going to, okay? Get your wife's name out my mouth, I'm going to, okay? If I was slapped, I would be like in shock. I would have been not able to say anything. Also, a slap like that would have been like I'm gonna make in shock. I would have been not able to say anything. Also, a slap like that would have been

like coming to make a joke. I would have been knocked unconscious, if I'm being honest with you, I got a glass jaw. I would have been on the floor, and then it would have just been a closeup of me just knocked completely out. He would have missed because my head's so small. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now you would not have reacted like that. I know you. No, no, no, I- It would have all came out. Wrestling background? No, I think, I would have been, I would have, just the shock of being smacked, but what would have been very funny is if,

if they would have talked and squashed it, which would have been very hard afterwards. And then the next, and, and, and, and, then, well, Chris could have came out and forgave him publicly. And then the next award ceremony, Will was hosting it and Chris came up and smacked him. And then the next thing that Chris was hosting,

Will came up and smacked him. And they just kept doing it. And even after it was like, okay, we get it. It's like, they just keep doing it. And they just keep hosting award show and keep smacking each other. It would have been hilarious. That's a good idea.

Because then people would have been like, was it real? And it's like, no, it was real. And we don't believe you. What people do with that slap, to me, one of the most gross, I mean, I know people talk about this at Nausium, but the grossest part of that whole thing to me was 30 minutes later when Will Smith won his award

and the audience clapped for him. That to me is like, I think what's happening before our eyes too is that the whole world, fame and all that, is just losing every, like it's just not about that. I think literally they did not, in the award show, because it's like its own, like there was a producer, they did not know what to do.

Yeah. It's like, what do we do? Do we have security come in here? I'm not excusing it, but I'm just like, I really think it's like, what do we do? Yeah, but they're the same- Do we have him come in here? I'm not excusing it, but I'm just like, I really think it's like, what do we do? Do we have him exited out? It would be great if he got the award from jail. Right.

Yeah, that would be good, on a Zoom. He's like, we're gonna let you out. He goes to make a phone call and the guy just brings him the award. Also, it was Hollywood and it was a black guy slapping a black guy, so I don't think anyone in the audience thought that it was okay for them to have an opinion on it.

They were like waiting to be like, what are we supposed to do about it? This is not our story. This is not our story. I'm going to recede. I'm going to let. And also, I mean, listen, the applause break, and we may cut this out. The applause break, listen, maybe it was just because... Weisongxian. And we're back. Yeah. What is? Yeah. Pause break, listen, maybe it was just because it was... Hahahaha! Hahahaha!

Weisongxian. And we're back! Yeah, what it is. Yeah. I mean, seriously, they handled the problem, nobody got shot, I mean, what is, what doesn't deserve an applause break? Yeah. Hahahaha! I mean, did you see what happened in Philadelphia like three days ago? What happened?

I didn't see it. That's Mike's home, by the way, be careful. I lived in Philadelphia. Mike lived in Philadelphia. He was representing himself as a Philadelphia comedian early on in his career. He is an Eagles fan. No, I do root for the Eagles. You do root for the Eagles.

I do root for the Eagles. So be very careful, to be honest. Can I say that my background, before you get to it, Youngstown to Boca Raton, Florida, which was a lovely place to graduate high school and grow up. You're not gonna see this in Boca Raton, Florida, and I guarantee you that while Mike was in Philly, even though he was a struggle comedian,

he didn't live in this part of town. No way. Let's take a peek. Dude, the wifi is fucked. Oh, the wifi. Jesus Christ, this studio. Get that fucking fat Lebanese kid in here right now. Yeah.

Well, we can do it, let's reenact it. Yeah. Yeah. It was a- You guys have your hats turned around already. Yeah. Brrr, brrr, br guys have your hats turned around already. Yeah. Brrrr, brrrr, brrrr. I mean, it's just a great-

Do people die? Yes. Was that 4th of July, or was that just a regular weekend? It's a good point. No, it wasn't 4th of July. Did the Phillies win? Yeah, it wasn't 4th of July. And I just say this as a New Yorker.

I just say this as a New Yorker. And you talk down to Philly as a New Yorker. I do talk down to him. He does, he does, he does. But I'll say this as a New Yorker who's had lots of black friends, loved black culture, loved black people, everything. Fourth of July weekend, it just doesn't mean the same thing

for black people as it does us. They have pent up, we're going, we're free, and they're going, must have been nice. Right, right, right. So they just don't know what to do with those emotions. Sometimes, their definition of fireworks at those cookouts is just always a little different. Right, right.

It's not, yeah, it's, yeah. The rockets are in the guns. Right, that's what it is. It's just a different thing. It's a different celebration. Now, Mike, when you see, like, you know, because you're an interesting guy, because you got Youngstown, Ohio, then Philadelphia, but then you went to Boca Raton. I went to Boca Raton first.

So where are the, where do you want to get buried? Where do you want your QR code gravestone to be? That's interesting. Because now you've lived in New York your whole life, so you have, why do we all? I'm getting buried in Queens, New York. Yeah. Is that where you want to be?

No, next to Houdini? Yeah, yeah. Because Houdini's buried there. Houdini dealt with the ultimate heckler. A guy who came backstage and punched him in the stomach. And that's true, and then he died. Yeah, and then he died. Wait, wait, what?

That's the ultimate heckler. Is that a true story? Yeah, it's a true story. He died of like what? Like organ bleeding, internal bleeding. Internal bleeding. Yeah. Like his, people say he already,

what's that that bursts? His appendix? Was already like on, not in good shape, but this guy put him over the edge. Yeah. He just came back and he was like, and he's like, ah, you know, and he was like laying down, was resting between shows, and the guy came back and he was like, he's like, ah, you know, and he was like laying down,

was resting between shows, and the guy came back to meet him and then like punched him in the stomach when he wasn't ready. And it burst his appendix and whatever, internal bleeding, and then he died in the hospital. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, Houdini's buried in the-

Be careful, monitor your green room. So where are you gonna, so where are you gonna- I was just gonna say like like when we all fly out, we all pass that cemetery in Queens on the way to LaGuardia. And I like that. So that other comics, you know, they can see me on the way to go to their spots.

Or to the airport weekend. Right, that's a veteran's cemetery though. Is it really? That's the only thing you gotta be a vet. So join our armed forces. We'll show a picture of him and he'll slide by. Yeah. They won't even ask for credentials.

They'll just be like, yeah, put him over there. But do you guys notice at that cemetery, like the headstones are so close together. It's like even in death in New York, you don't have space. You don't have space. It's really clear. It is very true. Yeah.

Yeah. And you know, I want to measure the success of my career by if if and when I die I just I just don't want the other comedians to have to do a Kickstarter for my funeral. Yeah If that is if if I if I can afford my own funeral, right? I had a good career. Yeah Well, I mean I assume you're going mausoleum Because of the Greek thing. Yeah. Well, I mean, I assume you're going mausoleum. Uh, because of the Greek thing. Yeah. Indoors. Indoors. Yeah. We like- Is that what they do? Greeks? No. What do Greeks do typically? Cremeate? Uh, you were at a Greek funeral. Oh yeah. Was that your popsicle? We do an open casket,

which I think is completely unnecessary. Right. We do open casket to Catholics. Yeah. I know. Yeah, because- Well, if you're not shot in the face. Exactly. Not in Philadelphia. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the Catholics and the Greek, it's just like, why are we doing that? We wanna just feel as bad as possible, right? But you guys have a super long, your masses are super long. Yeah, I've been to a Greek.

Are you Catholic? Yeah. Oh yeah, come on, Mike Vecchione? Did you get nicked or no? Yeah. By a priest, yeah? Oh, I thought you meant circumcised. Oh yeah, well that could be.

Is that nicked? No, that's- I don't know what the kids are saying These guys hat turned around you ain't lit I think you're throwing shade at my yeah Cuz you know me and I say this every week I'm so happy that this podcast is sponsored by blue chew I love seeing rock hard boners, RHBs, and I told you, and I've proven it to you, we've opened up my direct messages, and I've had 20 rock hard boners, and I can tell you which

ones are blue chew and which ones aren't, and I've impressed you with that talent. You've become an expert at that, and it is very impressive because you follow up and then they say, yeah, blue chew, and you say, yeah, I knew that was a red, white, and blue bowl. Yeah, right, yeah, and I knew, because these blue chew tablets are made right here in America, so you know what that means? Your boner's going to come with some tariffs. Yeah, that's what it is.

So that's what it is, guys. It isn't just about performance, it's about legacy or third legacy. Get that little kickstand going. What a new tripod. Give a group chat something to talk about my friends. It's what it is. Yeah so right now if you need to if you if you want to stay rock hard yeah you want to stay rock hard all you got to do is check out this special deal we have for our listeners. As always you get the first month of BlueChu free. Yes. Just use the promo code hyenas at

checkout h-y-e-n-a-s and pay five bucks for shipping that's it join blue choose mission upgrade humanity one thrust at a time head to blue chew dot-com for details and safety info and big thanks to blue chew for sponsoring the history high the other day I was getting a loophole massage and the masseuse was you know getting to the end and she said, oh, this a booch-o. Booch-o. Ending marriages. It's what it is, cuz I can't sit in court all day and not get a loop.

Because that's like a real thing now where it's like, I guess it's, I don't even know what's what anymore, but it's looked down upon if you do get circumcised. Yes. So it's like, do you want to go do that to yours? They look at it as mutilation. Oh yeah, are get circumcised. Yes. So it's like, do you want to go do that to yours? They look at it as mutilation. Oh yeah, are you circumcised? Yeah.

Yeah, because Stavros was saying the other day that if he found out you were circumcised, it would really change his opinion of you. Because he is a Greek that is not circumcised. I like how you rolled the R on his name. Are we ever gonna really listen to anything Stavros says again because he endorsed Mondami? I mean, what are we gonna do?

Yeah, I mean, stop it. If you're a comedian and you endorse a political candidate, you are now tied to whatever how that turns out. Like, why would you do that? Even if you liked a guy. You know, it's just like, on the other side, there's people endorsing Trump. It's like, what are comedians doing now?

Yeah, I endorse politics. Then you're tied to however it turns out. Why would you wanna to commit to something if you could just stay back and always play the devil's advocate? Well, I like that we're bombing all the I countries. Yeah. Right. Iraq, Iran, look out Indiana.

Yeah. We're coming after you. Coming after you. Yeah. Yeah, I like, I endorse candidates from other countries. Yeah. Just that to do. Kim Jong Un. How about the guy from France, his wife,

his wife slapped him in the face. And then on today's news, it's Jong Un. That guy from France, his wife, his wife slapped him in the face and then on today's news, it's like she was walking down the airplane, he goes to offer her hand and she's like, yeah, she doesn't. Well, isn't she much older than him? Like she started hooking up with him when he was a student and she was a teacher.

It's up to crit, which is that, I mean, that's just commonplace in New York, in America now, I mean, every teacher's just banging every student. Or she's a guy, or she's a guy. That's a big rumor, or she's a guy. She's a guy too now? Well, she's just commonplace in New York, in America now. I mean, every teacher's just banging every student. Or she's a guy, or she's a guy. That's a big rumor, or she's a guy. She's a guy too now? Well, she's the biggest one.

She's the biggest one where they suspect she's a guy. Interesting, you wanna pull, well, it'd be nice to be a, imagine we were doing a podcast in 2025 with Wi-Fi? That'd really be ahead of the game. That would be nice. We don't know. Jesus. We just don't know. Did you eat yet today, Mike?

No, because I want my face to look thin for this. Yeah, it looks good. And it'll blow up immediately if I eat something. What are you gonna eat? What's the big meal today? What are you gonna break the fast? We're gonna see what happens tonight for dinner. We have some leftovers.

You're gonna make it all the way to tonight? Yeah. When's the last time you ate? Last night, 6 p.m. I gotta be honest, I would have never pegged you for a dinner guy. I would have never pegged you for a dinner guy. I would have never pegged you for a dinner guy. Most social meal.

You're more, no, you're more of a supper. I thought supper was gonna come out. Oh, supper, right. Yeah, I would peg you as a youngster, and we're gonna wait for what we have for supper tonight. Well, everybody sits at the table, if that's what you mean by supper. Supper, right.

And we all pray before you eat? Yeah, supper's more of a pray before you eat kinda. Do I pray before I eat? Yeah, supper is more of a pray before you eat kind of. Do I pray before I eat? Because you have a family now. Is Nate watching or no? I do pray before I eat. No. I do pray before I eat. We pray as a family. We do pray before we eat. Jasmine's Puerto Rican, so we all have to hold hands around the table. That's what we do. Yes. Que el ostima! Yes. Arms up like that. Wait, so, so you're gonna go 24 hour fast?

No, no, I did that. I tried, I got off my schedule a little bit, but I tried to do, I'm on this now, a 36 hour once a week. Interesting. But usually ends up being like a 33, but you just eat dinner and then you go to sleep, you wake up, you don't eat the whole next day, and then you sleep and then you wake up and you eat at noon. Got it day, and then you sleep, and then you wake up, and you eat at noon.

Got it. That's what, that's- And you do that once a week. Let me tell you about autophagy. It cleans your cells out, Chris. Yeah. You have zombie cells. Yep.

And the zombie cells are there, and then you can get cancer, you can get other kinds of, and fasting for 36 hours cleans that all out. That's why- You look younger and everything. That's why the Greeks, they've been talking about fasting and cold plunges for, since the beginning of time.

100%. Way before Joe Rogan. I thought you'd say before the Romans. I know you guys have a boy, a Roman. A Roman versus a Greek culture, like who did it first? Who did it better? Who wore it better? Yeah, yeah, no, we've been doing, yeah.

They've been doing it for, I mean, so fasting has been proven, but some studies now say that 36 hours, they say, is not enough. Yeah, and who are those studies funded by? Yeah, exactly, follow the money, Chrissy! Big Pharma, that's what I'm getting at, Big Pharma is wild. You good on the show? That was great, let's go to a clip.

Big Pharma's wild. Oh, we don't have internet. Yeah. Special's great. Let's go to a clip. Let's go to a clip. We can't. Damn.

We can't. Yeah. It's like we're doing a podcasting during a blackout. Yeah. I mean, what's the longest you went without eating? Oh, man. It's not long. No.

It's not long. Do you think you've ever even made it 18 hours? Have you ever stopped eating at 6pm and then not eating again until the next day at 1 or 2 o'clock? No, no, it's never happened. It's never happened. I'm constantly putting calories into my face. Always.

Jesse, you? You ever did a long fast? Only when I had a colonoscopy. Got it. Oh, you have to do that. Don't you have to? And you guys will see. Yeah.

I've done two already. Jonas has done three. Yeah. Or two you have to do that. And you guys will see. Yeah. I've done two already. Yonis has done three or two. I've done three. Yeah. You've done them? Yeah, I had to do it. Polyps or no? Clean? No, clean.

Squeaky clean. See, we got polyps. We got nicked. We got poly. Yeah. No, when I said nicked, I meant, do you think that the church got you? Alter boy.

Oh, no. Priest. No, that never was. But how about the Pope from Chicago? Yeah. Yeah. How about we got an American Pope now? I know, I love it. We've said here on the show that we think he's in the Chicago mafia

and we think it's witness protection. Oh yeah? Because his name's Pope Leo and it's, you know, Chicago guy, how would you get into the papacy? Well, you know, I was watching his story and they were like, we knew it when he was a child that he was gonna be the pope. It's like people, the family was like,

that guy's gonna be, that kid's gonna be the pope. It's like, how do you know? What kind of things was he doing? That's a lot. That's the pope. Well, I could think of a few things. Yeah, was he walking, was he five years old walking around with a red Yarmulke in robe

that he's dressing up for Halloween? He's just blessing, tree house. Yeah. Sometimes I just love not being Catholic. Right. And I'm not Catholic. Yeah, you're not. You weren't chosen. I wasn't chosen yet and I just love- Greek Orthodox. Greek Orthodox. And you guys are too Catholic. More like unorthodox. Yeah. Boom. Sorry. But it's just, it's still one of my favorite things to just sort of allude to and watch people squirm. Yeah. I. Well, I thought about that. Patsy and Moana said it too, I didn't hear you. And then, blah, blah, blah, blah.

No internet. Yeah, no internet, you fat fuck. Speaking of, he thinks he's Catholic, but we don't have any internet. We don't have any internet. We don't accept him from Lebanon. Where's our internet, you Catholic fucking, a rabbi. No internet again.

Do Italians pay the bills? Yeah. Do they pay for their internet, these fuckers? You'll never be a real Christian to me. Go buy a pizza shop like every other Lebanese. Yeah, and I'm not gonna buy your father's deli in Brooklyn, stop asking. What's going on with the internet, Pat?

Literally, we're done with this studio. We're staying in here, we're outta here. We're taking Pat, we're leaving. What's the password, Hezbollah? Yeah. Yeah. God. What do you think about, it is timely,

so I just want to bring it up because this is coming out very soon. What do you guys think, especially Mike, we've brought you in here specifically to find out what your take is on this Jeffrey Epstein stuff. You know what, I have an unpopular take on it. Yeah. I think he killed himself.

Right, right. And I don't think there's any, I think the FBI is what they said it was. I think that he killed himself. I think that it's just that simple. It's like he was living this lavish life where he's having all this sex and blah, blah, blah. And he's a multimillionaire and has people working for him.

And then he's just in a cell, a dirty cell. And I think his prison mate was a big, some jacked Italian who like killed like three people. And it's like. Just couldn't take it. Yeah, he's like, this is gonna be a nightmare forever. And he just hung himself. Cause he was just listening to his cellmate

talk about how much he missed his ma. And he couldn't take it anymore. Yeah. I just can't take sitting in here anymore. Ma! Well you know he's like a big Italian, but he's like obviously he killed three people so he's like a bully kind of too and it's like ugh. Well now Mike, he's probably bullying Epstein.

Epstein's like I can't, this is jail? I'm not even in a federal penitentiary yet. That's going to be a nightmare. Well now Mike, it's making me think that maybe you're on the Epstein's List and that's very convenient for you to say to kill himself because you don't want to be implicated by the FBI. Bring him in!

Yeah. That's why you're really here. This is Sting! We're Sting on the list! This whole podcast was Sting! It was Sting, baby! That was so great, it was a surprise! We want to see your Venmo history

and we want to see how much Israel has sent into that account. Yeah, yeah, because what do you think, Chrissy? What? I just want to hear fucking people who don't know what they're talking about talk about it. What I think is probably Epstein did Tower 7. You think so? You can't believe anything he says he's the Prince Andrew of Queens. Yeah. Oh look we got the internet back! How about them apples? Bada boom! Oh! Yeah.

Pam Bondi, who initially said she had the client list on her desk, now says that it just whoops. Where did that go? Dog ate it. Dog ate it. So it's just not there. There's something beautiful about getting the internet 46 minutes into the podcast. Yeah, I love it.

It's nice. Can I ask you guys a question and then you tell me? No, you can't ask me a question. It's me and Mike Vagueo and you can ask us a question. You can ask us. You're not asking us anything. I'm going to ask you a question. I'm going to ask you a question.

I'm going to tell you a quote and then you tell me, you tell me if you would be suspicious of this person if they had anything to do with Epson and did anything. Based off just the quote, we don't know who it is, just hearing the words. Nobody knows, I'm just going to say. I've known Jeff for 15 years, terrific guy, he's a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side. Trump. Trump. My lord and saviour, Donald Trump, that was him, I believe him. That was him. That was Donnie Tate. That was Donnie Tate. That was Donnie Tate. Now what do you think about that quote from 2002 New York Magazine interview? What I honestly... I'm waiting for you to tie it in with

tariffs. And the younger girls and then the tariffs and then give us leeway for negotiation. I think honestly that a lot of people knew Epstein, celebrities, guys like Trump, and he was just a multi-billionaire. Guys like exist today that you might be going on a private jet with, you know, even in the comedy space, in the entertainment space, you don't know what the hell they're doing. You just go like people. You know how many people went to ditty parties and had no, truly, no idea that that's happening? And they were there early. Yeah. Okay, so another question. How does he go from a math teacher at Dalton

to the next thing you know, he's managing a former prime minister of Israel's money and he's got a $10 million townhouse on the up reset. How did that happen? More than 10, I think it's like 50 million. Yeah, how did it happen out of nowhere? I don't know if it happened out of nowhere. Mike was a math teacher, he'll know. Yeah, how did it happen out of nowhere? I don't. I don't know if it happened out of nowhere.

Mike was a math teacher, he'll know. Yeah. Can you tell us about, you were a teacher in Philadelphia. Maybe you could explain this to us. Yes, teaching is boring sometimes. Teaching math especially has gotta be. Were you a math teacher? Did I have that right?

No, I taught kids with emotional and behavioral problems. But what would you teach them? I would teach them whatever. The administration was like, just keep them in the room. Yeah. So you would literally go and. Keep them in the room. Yeah. So you would literally go and, keep them in the room. Let's keep the felonies to a minimum.

I like, one principal didn't get it. And he came in. Just keep them in the room. And one principal came in, he's like, the test scores are low. I'm like, the test scores? Yeah. You know what I'm dealing with here?

It's like, there's not been a homicide. I should get a medal. Yeah. I should get tenure. So basically what you're saying is, you weren't a teacher in an Asian neighborhood. Right. Wait a minute. I should get tenure. So basically what you're saying is you weren't a teacher in an Asian neighborhood. Right.

Wait a minute, so it was that really like, you would have no lesson plan? Like- No, no, no, I would have a lesson plan. He just told you it was keep them in the room. Keep them in the room. Yeah, but I can't- Hands up at all times where I can see them.

That's every day. Hey, how about there's a kid who was, they were coming in from recess and there was a kid, my kids were telling me, because I loved my kids man And I really I taught them and and had less than I worked hard at what I was doing and there was a kid All my kids were telling me it's like there's a kid out there because we were in a special Self-contained class and they were calling my kids names. They're calling the police outside Convicts aim by the authorities. Yeah. But, and I got the kid, I found out who the kid was

because he was like, he was calling my kids dumb, calling them stupid. Like he was a more able-bodied kid. Yeah, yeah, well he just wasn't, he was probably a moron but he just wasn't in my class. So he was calling my kids dumb and stupid, you're in a stupid class, whatever, and my kids were like telling me,

they came in from, they were like, this kid's like telling us this and in from really were take this kids like Telling us this and calling us names, so I grabbed the kid in the room, and I said hey don't insult my kids Man if you insult my kids again. I'm gonna pull you in this room. I'm gonna lock the door. I'm gonna step outside Yeah, so don't do that again And he did and he did it because he knew if I leave you if leaving with them Yeah, you're gonna be done now. I would have real I wouldn't have really done that, but I threatened the kid,

and that was enough for him to be like, I'm sorry. Yeah, because you gotta understand, Mike Vecchione's a former wrestler. Right, yeah. He's got, like, then that's why I think, you know, he would explode. I think he would explode because it's just in there. Right.

It's like, you say the wrong thing to Mike Vecchione, you're gonna get a lot of that, you're gonna get a lot of reachin' from the lot of that. Reach it from the back of my neck. But I'm also 52, so it's probably just gonna be this. Just gonna be this, yeah. It's gonna be a lot of this. But you'll have the earmuffs on and just a lot of touching. A lot of touching, a lot of earmuffs, and then talk to my lawyer.

Yeah, that's what it is. Now next question about it I wanted to ask you guys. There was a guy, there was a guy in, you know, Jeffrey Epstein was indicted and convicted in, in Florida for- Mike's home state? Yeah. One of Mike's home states. For your home state, from your home state.

He was indicted in, in Florida for pedophilia. Let's just say- Is that actually what the charge was for- No, no. It was like, what was it? Underage sex. Underage sex. Underage sex, trafficking, all the things. It was bad.

And there was a guy named Alexander Acosta, who was the US attorney at the time. And he cut a secret deal with Epstein's legal team where he, what'd he do? He did 13 months in prison, something like that, but he could not be federally prosecuted again. He got a slap on the wrist. He had work release where he was able to get out six days a week or something like that. I'm messing up the details, but it was a slap on the wrist.

His work release was a massage? Yeah, it was a massage. So he basically did that, and then he was appointed by Trump to be secretary of labor during Trump's first term. Is that just a small world? Oh, you're saying that, why did Alexander Ocasio-Cortez, why did he, you're saying because Trump is in on it, because you want to say Trump is on the left.

No, I'm not saying that, I'm just saying, could you just pull up all the pictures of Trump with that? I'm just saying, can you just pull up all the pictures of Trump with it? I'm just saying, I'm just saying Trump was in office when Jeffrey Epstein killed himself. Trump is now in office. But again, I don't think anybody, nobody debates that Trump and Epstein were friends. There's all proof of that. Yeah. So you're saying-

Are you saying that you're a Tesla's double parked? I'm just saying Epstein called Trump his closest friend. They've known each other for 20 years at the time. You know, they hung out together. Yeah, because Epstein was alive the first time Trump was president, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Yeah, yeah. He was getting into it. Yeah, yeah. I mean, they knew each other very well. Right. Right. And I'm just saying, I mean, that's, so what happened is with- But I think the island, the whole island thing,

like I don't know, I'm just speculating, but it's like, I don't think it was all that. No. I think it was like some like- They did some paperwork too. What's that? You think they did some bonfires and cooked some marshmallows?

Yeah, I think it was a lot of that. I think it was like an early daytime frame at a ditty party where it was just like, it just looked like this is the cool place to be. Well, you go like, I think too, a lot of times Epstein would just like, you know, celebrities or whatever, you'd go to his island, like with your wife and kids, just like go to like a private beach

and then go back the same day. But then you're all- Or if you're staying, you're not staying in the mix of anything. You're just staying, like I'm sure they had that. I'm sure this was, even at that time, was kept pretty under wraps. Melania's smoking hot.

She's a smoke show, yeah. Oh, I didn't realize that Jeffrey Epstein and Jelaine were a couple? I thought Jelaine was just the handler of the girl, but they were like together, he's got his hand on her waist. Yeah, yeah. That's what the interesting thing about the whole thing is, is like, yeah, they were just kind of.

Well, sex is like currency. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not like the way that we think about it, where it's like intimate, it's just like, it's kind of currency, I think. Yeah, like, yeah, you get me women to sleep with, and then I sleep with you, and then, it's like kind of a.

Just all it is. Yeah, it's kind of a perverted world. Everyone's having sex at all times. I think it's a perverted world. It's just so funny, because right now, as we record this podcast, this is like breaking people's political alliances and beliefs and brains, because this is obviously one of the most obvious

funny gas lightings that we've had as a country. So people who- It tells me that Yanis works for the wind company. Yeah. So it's just funny. Now, this is all everyone's talking about, because this is just, you know, Alex Jones cried, which was fun to watch. Because he's saying, how could this be happening?

He just cried. Because he goes, how could Trump do this? Yeah, he's going like, he's been doing good and I just can't. Can we pull up him crying? Pull him up? I mean, it's just- What was his point though? His point is like, because it's such a hard thing to have dissonance on, the cognitive

dissonance because everyone knows that Jeffrey Epstein was an intelligence asset. I mean it's so obvious. From Mossad? Either Mossad or CIA or both. I mean it's just so obvious. I mean it's like saying if there was chocolate chip cookies on this table, and I said those are chocolate chip cookies, everyone would go, those are chocolate chip cookies.

And if you said, no, those are actually chestnut cookies, people would go like, this guy's lying. The chocolate chip. Yeah, so they'd go like, something's up with this guy. So we're at that point where everyone kind of knows that what's happening now is people are going, no, those aren't chocolate chip cookies those are just mint cookies. Right. Which I would now just want to eat cookies. Because I mean it's just everything you find out about the players involved you just go this is just doesn't make sense

that they're there because now they're saying there was no abstain client list and he killed himself and then they were this is the funniest part they released the footage outside his jail cell and then there was like a jump in this footage right it's like for one minute right when they release the pentagon i think that's it jesse no it's it's someone else's video yeah but i think are they all i'm sorry you're saying that they're they're breaking it down yeah

you know when they released that video of the uh... the plane hitting the pentagon and we're all like all right we're finally going to see the proof of the Pentagon, and we were all like, all right, we're finally gonna see the proof of the plane going, and it was just like, it was like a couple of frames, and then there was just a fireball. A jump cut, yeah. So, it's just, that's what they did.

They released the footage of outside of his jail cell, and then there's a jump cut. There's a jump cut. And they go, see, nobody came in and out of his cell. Alex Jones looks like he's on tests. That's another impressive thing about you, Mike. You're not on tests. No, I'm too afraid of any of that stuff.

Yeah. Is anyone here? That probably, you gotta- I never saw any evidence of Trump involved in any of the stuff that came out. It was all fake. The fake Jane Does, all the crap. Arr.

You know, EG and Carol- Sounds like a bulldog with John. Left us cat lady all of it. Arr, Alex Jones. So now- That's moving a little bit. Coming in and being part of the cover up towards the end of the search crying It's just fun with the service. There was the day before over 500 times

This is just a guy does he have a family? Real all those things are saying as she's seen Nice baby blue eyes. He's not a bad-looking guy. No what He's one of the most entertaining guys on the planet. I have to say that. I love guys who do videos in their car too. Yeah. Yeah. I love guys who pull over and they're in park

in a parking lot but still got the seatbelt on. Here you go. 11 a.m. today, I'll be covering it. And no matter where the misinformation goes, I'll always report to you. Yeah. He didn't cry on that one. Whatever, he cries, it's funny.

Yeah. I just love how serious he takes everything. He's on it. He's like, people. Well, what is his reaction to the Diddy? I personally think Diddy, that he was acquitted of the most serious charges, but I think he's gonna get slapped with a lot of time

for the remaining charges. I personally think. Everybody else thinks that he's gonna walk. I think he's gonna get. It's like how OJ got away with it, but then they gave him 10 years for something that would've normally got three months. Yeah, yeah.

So I think that's common, and everybody disagrees with me. Everybody's like, he's gonna walk, because he was celebrating, it's like, he's gonna walk now. It's like, I don't think so. I think they're gonna just nail him. It's like, when the mob does stuff now, it's like, they don't do the real heavy stuff

that's like gambling or whatever, but they just hit them with the hardest. You know who they are? Yeah, you get three years for jaywalking. Yes. Yeah. Interesting. Well, I know because they were saying, I saw a lawyer talking about the saying that really

the judge, if he did give Diddy serious time, would really be breaking a lot of traditional rules because technically Diddy on paper has never committed a federal crime before and he's a first-time offender. So he's a first-time offender at these. So the judge, the state of New York, weighs that heavily. You are, because the judge's job is to not do what you said. The judge is to say, I am fully impartial, I don't care about, I'm just on what these questions.

But they're sentencing guidelines. So if they're sentencing guidelines. So if they're sentencing guidelines, you can give him the upper echelon of the sentencing. It's up to the judge, in other words. The judge is the one who decides. But they're saying that he would be, this lawyer was saying he would be breaking like crazy

protocol if he gave him all these years. Like it wouldn't be actually the right thing for the judge to do. Interesting, can you pull up- I don't know why. Yeah, but what are the- Pull up what his charges are. Because it happens in mob trials all the time

where it's like, it happened with the Philly guys. And you seem personally affected and hurt by this. So let's get into it. No, no, I have to take issue with it. And like the mob trials in Philly, it's like they got acquitted of racketeering and the drug charges and murder, but they got them on stolen property and gambling.

But they gave them 14 years for gambling. Right, which you- It's crazy. Well, we wouldn't even go to jail for that. Right. But they know who the guy, and the judge gave them 14 years on gambling. And it's like, the guy went to jail

for 14 years for gambling. And that's your uncle. And that's my uncle. Yeah. Now he's out. And it's not fair. Yeah. The internet is not working again.

It's just what is. Kat, who runs the studio, is running the studio like we're in Lebanon. Like there's attacks from Israel coming at every moment. He's running it into the ground. Yeah. Which is why we need a bunker buster. Yeah, we do. Come on and reactivate the internet. Yay. All right. Well, what can you do? we need a bunker bust. Yeah, we do Activate the internet. Yeah

All right. Well, what can you do? We have no more internet. Yeah, so what about you Mike? Where are you gonna be website all that? I'm gonna be in Tempe, Arizona at the improv Great. I don't know the dates. It's Coming up here in like two weeks not this weekend, but next weekend I'm not sure when this comes out. I would help me to know the dates Mike Vecchione calm for dates coming up here in like two weeks, not this weekend, but next weekend. I'm not sure when this comes out. It would help me to know the dates.

MikeVecchione.com for dates. Yeah. Yeah, go- Comic Mike V on all social media. Please follow me. And the special's called Low Income White. It's on YouTube. And it's for free for people

who are actually low income whites. Yes, please watch it and if you're gonna make a comment which I appreciate for the algorithm, please don't call me names. It's for free and I worked hard on it. Yeah, it's like what are you doing? Why are they, you know it's weird because they're all incentivized to do it.

We've all been conditioned by social media companies to create content, and the comment section is their content. Because you have to know the reason why they're putting those comments in there is for other people to see the comments. Yeah, that they want to get a bunch of likes. It's the way that they can factor in their own, get their own kind of slice of the pie, if you will. And if you are a History of Hyenas fan, and you like Mike's special and you want to comment,

just please put an American flag after whatever comment you've made so we know it's you and your Hyenas fan. That's how you'll identify yourselves by the red, white, and blue, baby. Let's go, Hyenas. We love Mike. We want every one of our fans to go watch that special.

We want every one of you to comment on it. You know, identify yourself with $3 bill or on the beam or whatever it is. Or the American flag. Just all positive, get in there and then get in the comments to the other people who say negative things and throw it and argue with them because it's all what the social media companies, YouTube, once they see that, the algorithm goes, oh, there's engagement happening here. Yes, yes.

We want you because Mike is a part of our Hyena clan. So you have to fight to defend him too. Yeah. OK? So go watch this special. I'm in the back of the pack of Hyenas. Yes. But you still are in the pack.

You're in the pack. Yeah. You're in the pack. As long as the pack is running on Nate land. That's right. That's it. OK. Yes.

As long as the pack is being clean and not saying too many curse words. Yeah. That's right All right. So these are the good guys who went to patreon.com slash history hyenas and join the matriarchy That is where all the fun happens We have five dollar episodes ten dollar episodes all the way up to twenty five dollar episodes and it's all awesome It's bonus content and it's really really fun and it's a community

I mean we got people going on dates on the Patriots. You can use our patreon as a dating app if you want. It's the new grinder. Yeah. Here we go. Welcome Brian Orozco, Ruben Su Fuentes, General Shiro Ishii BDSM Kink. So that's from Unit 731. That's Shiro Ishii BDSM Kink. Yes. Okay. So he's just saying that, you know, he's uh, yeah. He's listening and I appreciate the attempt. Brian Garrett Brown, then we got Big Bird's Left Nut. Okay. Okay. It's fun.

Danielle Dix, which is a good trans name. Yeah. Darius Jack, Kieran Doherty, then we got the most balls in shit ever. Okay. Chicken figure for the funny factor. Brendan Hoverack, Carter Witten, Brandon Masters, Amy Harris, Real... Oh, walked into one.

Sorry about that. Richard Van Vlander... It's just a minefield of those. It's just what it is. Richard Van Vlanderin, Nick Wilson, Andrew Ramirez, DJ Frisbee, Caleb Kinsler, Christopher Titoan, then we got My Roof is So Leaky, I Threw a Frisbee Down My Chibney. Very funny.

Then we got Gogeta's Got a Small Peeing Too, Indian Kid, Cortez Conquering More Than One Jungle, okay. We gotta do an episode on Cortez. Yeah, we do. Brad Williams called. Yeah, this walked in. Brad 14.. Brad Williams called- Yeah, that's a walked in- RAD14!

But Brad Williams is a smidget. Yeah, but he's just- Yeah, but they're- I got it. They're just going for the word. Frisbee, Smokin' Stinnin'ians, Like Some Stinky Hookah, Wesley Bradshaw, then we got I Ride Bikes and Tights, Call me Spandy Queer. Drexler. Peter Gospilinov.

This is the second episode in a row where we're going pretty deep down a list and we don't have anyone who's made it yet. Right. It's interesting. Alec, Matt Clansen, Dalton Phelps, Damien, Dylan James. Then we got off the beam Mariachi Monkey with a leaky roof, S-L-O-K-S. Charged up and ready to detonate like Building 7. Put them on the list. Yeah, put them on the list. That's what it is.

Yeah, that's good. I feel the same. They're gay, and they're ready to explode. They're gayness, but also Building 7. Just like Building 7, yeah. Falken, then we got Cripple with swollen nipples. Then we got Headbox Boy, I don't eat pussy, I just work for UPS. Then we got stapling

pictures of my testes around Macy's like Martin Luther's 95s put them on the list because Martin Luther went around you know taping up his proclamation Protestant proclamation yeah these kids going around Macy's yeah put his testes up there yeah so like Martin Luther I'm putting them on the list because it's history and it's funny then we got Griffin Kerner, then we got Amozi stole my heart and fucked it. Chicken figure. Matthew Lee, Chrissy steroide dealer call me back cuz, bass jumping off the Four Seasons, Tim Dillon's Gazin vacation, Barry Dinger Dervous Hyena, who's scared of ladders. Okay.

Bluey Chewis and the Gloos. We've had some. Yeah. Gnome Dwarman, oh, owner of the comedy cellar. Thank you, welcome. Matthew Lloyd, molester Stallone, first and last blood. Put him on the list. There we go.

Molester Stallone is a goody. Is a goody. Wei Songxin. Sergio DeVisa, Ryan Gindrich, Ultimate Frisbee champion, shout out my sponsor Hugo Boss. Very funny. Japanese count in units of 731. Okay. Okay. Forrest Gump too. Gary Sinise's niece polished my piece, now my son looks like Walter White Jr. and screams at fireworks from a bat. Okay. Okay. Joshua 707, Williams Mendo. Okay. Adam, Dayton McGovern, Ishal, then we got I cream fast for my mail order scream mask. Mail order scream mask,

meaning he got an Asian mail order and he creams fast. He creams fast for her. Interesting. Good effort. Good effort. John Beeman, Melek Ekal. He creams fast for her. Interesting, good effort. Good effort. John Beeman, Malek Iqal. John Beanman. Yeah. So he's on the beam. John Beanman, yeah.

Oh, Beanman? Oh yeah, John Beanman. Yeah, he's on the beam. He's on the beam. Malek Iqal, then we got big, beautiful $3 bill, no Medicaids. Okay. Okay, big, beautiful $3 bill might've did it.

Yeah, it's. No Medicaids. Yeah, no might have did it. Yeah. No medic aids. Yeah, no medic aids. It's two names in one. So give him a Drexler for it. Okay. Then we got Matt is Gay, Jay Knapp, Hannah Ratched, Let's Go Buzz, Blair Marstel, Alex, Reds, Nicholas Adcock, No Good Bagel Shops in Germany. It's a good one.

Way song shi-ing. I mean, it's probably a truth, right? Adcock no good bagel shops in Germany It's probably a truth right probably yeah, it's probably you know, they're just not comfortable yet Nicholas Duncan Brian Cooper Chirico Daniel Sangaroo Ted Claire George Contouris Hitler had a golden shower and so do I it's what it is cuz Harley Wayne Kilman Averyvery Reaper, Brendan Rivera, Hector Lodeswallowr, Benjamin Salvador, Danny G. Germain, Richard Gomez, Genghis John, Andy Rivera, Butterbean, David McMase, Aldo Rodriguez, Kevin Bratton, Gage Hood Gage hood Ed Paul T Shiro Ishii summer camp was wild yeah Kieran McGuire gotcha on that got me yeah that's it

walked in on one way song she ain't Leroy archaeologists incorporated don't call got you again back to Yeah, very creative though. Very creative Jonathan Watson Ryan Cortez Mikey Hiner on on miss Obama's RHP Mrs. Obama's RHP rock our penis yeah I love on all and I ran ran ran so far away Tel Aviv couldn't get away. Okay, Grower Not a Shower, Cody, Nika, Elupilis. Then we got You Can Lead a Horse to Water, but You Still Will Need a Stepstool to Fuck It. Put them on the list.

That's a catapult. It's just what it is. Yeah, it could be the winner. Tid Kutcher, Maggie, Jacob Laurie, Sticky Couch, Abigail Wilson, Zom Gum Coffee, Davy Long, Et Leigh, Michael Hamm, Danny, Not a Piece but Take Me to Normandy Please, Peter Hutton, Thomas Pizzolato, Senor Gringo the 4th, Travis Camper, Midwest Mom with Fat Fat Fat Meat Flaps. Okay. Okay. Chicken finger just for describing your pussy. Travis Kamper Midwest mom with fat fat fat meat flaps okay okay

chicken finger just for describing your pussy Ryan Thompson Josh Lutz Cameron Deaton David McLeod Spencer Hodgkinson dyslexic UCF ground and pound me Jennifer Mueller bug chasing for bug chasing for lubed anus baby gravy. Colin Vee, Chrissy D's right pectoral, Chrissy's pelvic floor therapist, Ryan R, 5chan.org, Nursing Adderley, Christina Pupschitzky, independent learning pod,

Mom Donnie Eats with his rocket launching hand. Oh it's a good one. Way some cheating. It's a walk did a what but it's a good one. What do I do? Put it on the list. Jesse wants it on the list. The Jewish side of Jesse wants it on the list.

That's what it is. It's really funny. Muzzies want to make my frisbee family into overdone latkes. Okay. James Allen, Jeremy Barney, Corey Lawrence, Ryan Hassen, Herstery Hypena, Dustin F., Alex Viga, Kyle Kemper, Braxton Buff, accountant for ICE, aka the bean counter. Put them on the list. Okay, there we go. So walked into one, but it's very funny. If Gillis impregnates McCusker it equals Jesse Plemons, or the actor. Gary

Fatsby, Alex Canuelas. I think that we're good, right? You think we're good? Yeah, I think we're good. Okay. Yeah. Okay. All right, let's do it. Yeah. All right, here we go. Two pages. We should do two because we're caught up now. We are. So we should do two pages at a time. Here we go. So, here's the list so far. Granted, it's not the strongest list, but we still got some bangers. Okay, here we go. So we got charged up and ready to detonate like building seven.

We're gonna leave that for now. Stapling pictures of my testes around Macy's like Martin Luther. It's so good, but I don't know if it's got the funny people are gonna... Alright. Any other day, or if we had just done a Martin Luther episode, you might have won but I don't know if it's got the funny, people are gonna... All right. Any other day, or if we had just done a Martin Luther episode, you might have won. That would make sense. Yeah. Molester Stallone, First and Last Blood.

Very good, we're gonna Drexler, we're gonna chicken finger that. Okay. Yeah. Oh. Uh-oh. What the hell was, oh, that was the table. Here we go. Accountant for Ice, aka the Bean Counter.

It's a good one. We're going to Drexler because it's a walked into one. Okay. Mom, Donnie, Eat Sand with his rocket launching hand. That's Jesse's favorite. It is a walked into one. What else do we have? Last but not least, we have You Can Lead a Horse to Water, but You Still Need a Step

Stool to Fuck It. Okay. So we're going to Drexler the Mondami, even though though it's Jesse's favorite because it's a walked in one. So it's between charged up and ready to detonate like building seven or you can lead a horse to water but you still need a step stool to fuck it. See you said it was a weak list. I'm saying those are great. I'm sorry you're right. Those are great. That's a tough one. I'm leaning towards the step stool. That's my vote. Jess? I didn't see the step stool. That's my vote. Jess?

I didn't see the step stool coming. That's my vote too. Yeah. Then the winners have it. Congratulations. Go to HistoryHyhenasIsBack.com. You can see your name up in lights. You are the winner. You can lead a horse to water, but you still need a step stool to fuck it. Congratulations to you. You, that is a fantastic- That is a great one. Yeah. And you can see our standup dates throughout the summer, both Janice's at historyhyenasisback.com check it out and thanks for being a part of patreon.com history hyenas we can't thank the fans enough this has been great being back baby.