History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - History of The Samurai is wild! & PACMan Jones

Episode Date: March 20, 2025

Yanni & Chris take this episode over to the Eastern Hemi to break down the history of Samurai culture. Then, NFL legend Pacman Jones drops in for a wild ride. We’re talking samurais, their savage discipline, and their leaky roofs. Is there a modern-day Bushido? Also, Chris tells Yanni the story of the only black ninja from that period and it is wild. And don’t worry, we made sure this episode was good… or we would’ve had to honor-kill ourselves like the samurai. Arigatu, cuz. Support our sponsors: Learn more about Lightstrike at https://Drinklightstrike.com or follow on TikTok and Instagram @drinklightstrike. Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://BlueChew.com! Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code HYENAS -- just pay $5 shipping. #comedy #Podcast #History Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas/ Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit.ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0 Hyenas Merch!!! https://teespring.com/stores/historyhyenas Follow us Cuz! 🙆🏻‍♂️ Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ 🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ 🐕More Hyenas Website: www.historyhyenasisback.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/historyhyenas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HistoryHyenas Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/historyhyenaspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No frills delivers. Get groceries delivered to your door from No Frills with PC Express. Shop online and get $15 in PC Optimum points on your first five orders. Shop now at nofrills.ca. Make absolutely no mistake, you pop off with Pacman in the airport, you get punched in the face. I love that. I really ride with that aspect of you where it's like bro, much like the samurai. Bro, that was Shaq bro. I was protecting Shaq. Wait, what? I didn't know that. Yeah, Shaq was with me on that trip.

Protecting Shaq? Who needs to protect Shaq? I'm gonna to use the aidas. Cuz Japanese just sounds like you're lifting boxes and you throw out your back. It's what it is cuz and even though I do love and support the Japanese culture, make absolutely zero mistake, if I eat sushi I do do it with a fork. Yeah, you do. A chopstick is disrespectful to my grandpa who fought the Japanese in World War II and I won't disrespect him by using chopsticks, but I do really like the food because make no mistake, fish is healthy.

Because we're going to talk about the samurais today, the samurai culture, and we're not going to do it by bringing in someone from the Wu-Tang Clan. We're going to bring in someone later who's got a leaky rook, Pac-Man Jones. So stick around for that. Yes. But blacks do love samurai culture and the Japanese now do love black culture. They're very good at break dancing. Yes.

There's something about those two cultures that they just love each other. They love each other. Now we have a wild episode for you today. We're going to take you through the history of the samurais. We're also going to talk to you about the very first and maybe only ever black samurai besides RZA from the Wu-Tang Clan. And we're also gonna talk to you about the 47 Ronin,

the true story of the 47 Ronin. These are two wild stories. So you're gonna wanna stick around. And then as Yannis said, Pac-Man Jones is coming in and we might, both Yannis and I might get punched in the face because we did pre, before the episode we did we did piss in a cup and we're gonna see if he wants to buy it off us because the kid likes to use other people's urine to pass drug tests in the NFL. Yeah if you don't know who Pac-Man Jones is

he's a he was a former quarterback in the NFL his resume in football is extensive but not as extensive as his incarceration record. The kid has really racked up a resume. I think the last time he got arrested was 2024. Yeah, it's what it is. So he's still wild. Yeah, he gets arrested. Now, Japan, as you know, Japan is, it's this country.

It's an island. It's an island. It was an isolationist nation for a very long time. They just cut themselves off. Which is weird because, yeah, because the rest of Asia, you know, they didn't do that. No, but I mean, they also like, you know, they're like, if they were isolationist, and how did all those other Japanese looking people get all around that place? Yeah, I don't understand.

I don't understand how that happened. Yeah, because when I... Wensong Xian. Yeah, because you look at the Aborigines, they come from little islands and stuff. They look different because they were isolated. But the Japanese, it's like they're all over Asia. They look like that. Yeah.

It's one of those things where it's like, look, I understand. I understand that other countries have different cultures and all that stuff. But I mean, because if you're Asian, I mean, it's just you really don't know Japanese, Chinese, Korean. They know. Yeah. They know the difference. But I can't tell the difference at all. The only thing I know is Japanese got their hair up in a bun and Koreans and Chinese like

bangs. That's what I know the difference is. But they all do wear sandals and hover with their asshole a millimeter off the floor to smoke cigarettes in the back of restaurants. That's what they do. That's all similar. Yeah, they're compact people. They're hairless people.

And they're beautiful people and they love chopsticks and soup. Yeah, but at different times in history, they're no different from any of the rest of humanity, and that's why we love doing this show, because we go through history and we show that we're all the same. We all got leaky roofs. Humanity acts the same. History is brutal, and it's gay, and it's gay, and there's a lot of gay. The same rise for fucking each other. There's nothing and it's gay and there's a lot of gay. The samurais are fucking each other. There's nothing we can... Yes, that's true.

That's true. And we're going to talk about that and they did have sex with each other and listen, it's just one of those things Asian people, again, I respect them. I like them. Their food is different and they have things in common with, like I said, they typically have a very distinct look. I know Asian people can tell other Asians apart, but if we're gonna be honest,

white people really can't, and black people really can't, tell other Asians apart. It's very difficult. So they do look alike. They are very family-oriented people, which is a beautiful thing, and they also do get money subsidized

from their government to beat us in the housing war, and they buy the houses in cash, and the mortgage rates don't affect them and I do keep getting bought out I keep getting outbid on homes by other Asian people and that's just a simple fact it's an s lo que es. They're not fighting fair. Right they don't fight fair and that's the thing about the whole samurai culture that we're gonna talk about is like okay everyone knows the samurais everyone it's become part of pop culture, people

love myth, the myth, the mythology of samurais like honor, I'm gonna do, but they were just brutal, no different than the brutality of knights in medieval Europe, you know, they had, you know, oh chivalry, the myth of the chivalrous knight, There's like the myth of the honorable samurai. These guys were murderers. They would lop off heads of kids, lop off heads of women, lop off kids of dogs and cats. And I'm an American and I'm a dog lover, much like a white lady.

Once you start lopping off the heads of dogs, you lose me. You can lop off white men all you want, but once you lop off a dog, then that's it. That is not okay. Yeah, it's like Michael Vick will always be worse to me than Charles Manson. Because he hurt dogs. Yes. And Charles Manson actually never killed anyone. He never killed anyone, no.

That's a truth-bater Ginsburg. No, no. Now, here's the thing. Leaky roof. Leaky roof. Now, samurai, the word samurai means to serve. Yes. Now, samurai, you know, the show Shogun is very popular right now

in FX and they do a good job Shogun of going through some of the specific points in history of, Shoguns are like different classes of samurai and so samurai, it means to serve and they had their famous sword, the katana. So they were good with swords, they were good fighters. Katana? Katana.

Have you looked at houses in Katana? Yeah, because they keep getting outbid by the Chinese. So, so they, so they had these swords, and they were very, very good duelers and fighters, just like any other warrior class from history, but they were also bureaucratic, because they were also in government, and they were also smart, smart kids. So, and they were trained people, these kids were trained as little kids samurai And then they grew up and they were just that warrior class and they were cute cute cute Yeah, they ended up becoming a more administrative

After the gun came to Japan via the Portuguese, but yeah, by the way the Portuguese we're gonna do more episodes on They were bad people their back bags. They were bad They brought slavery to the pretty much the United States. You could trace that back. And they brought guns to Japan. So I do want to start attacking the Portuguese a little bit here on this show. Yeah. Have you ever noticed that Portugal just kind of looks like the Gaza Strip of Spain?

Yeah. When you look at a map, it's just like a little strip in there. Yeah. Do you know if you took a boat due east from New York City and it didn't veer, of course, you would hit Portugal? We're in the same latitude. They're the New York City and it didn't fear of course you would hit Portugal we're in the same latitude they're the New York City of the East that's a nice little what you call HHF OD for you

geography buffs out there that's what it is so the samurai they start out of the geography girls we are the geography girls the samurai they start out in Japanese culture as there's a job Japan is a mountainous island, you know, hard to conquer, hard to unite. Right. So there's this emperor and the samurai start out as sort of tax collectors for the emperor. They got to go up in the

mountains and shake down these peasants, get their rice, make sure they're paying their due, you know, kind of dirtbags. Then the samurai who are these trained killers Decide hey man, we're the toughest guys around we should start running stuff Yeah So they start taking control and they take control from the Emperor and the Emperor becomes more of just a figurehead Not really in power and these different samurai warlords just start running shit just like the Knights. They're basically Asia's Knights Yes, that's what they are in the feudal Japan world. Yes, they're basically, if you think about the Knights Templar, but they like to sit on the floor.

And take their shoes off. Which is nice. When you go into the house. Yeah. Because if you want, I think it's best off to keep a Japanese household where you just take your shoes and socks off and you sit on the floor. Yeah. That's nice. Yeah, that's what they did. That's the only difference. And you know, yeah, I mean, their faces are a little different. Most people theorize that Asian faces are that way because of the cold weather,

the distribution of the face. Is that true? Or the dust in the eyes. Yeah, or like the sand storms or whatever. Yeah. So you're saying that's how Asian faces were formed because I thought it was because they were in the sun most of the time. Dead serious.

That's another theory as well, but it's all evolutionary. There's actually a couple of African tribes that also have that extra lip on the eye. Yeah. I don't know what it's called, but it's like, yeah, for the same reasons, they feel like they evolved that way to keep the sun out of their face or the dust out of their face or whatever. Right. So we're all the same, we just evolved differently. That's what it is. We're lighter skinned because we want to absorb more vitamin D or something like that.

And then the blacks are black because it was hot and... They have more melanin. They got more melanin. Yeah, because I think the blacks culture, I think that because Africa does get more sun so their skin had to evolve. So it's just evolutionary stuff. And then the Indians took the darker skin, but also white people's hair because nobody knows.

And it's just what it is. It's just like they're a combo of both. And that's why they're my favorite porn category. Yeah. That's why they call me Chrissy Calcutta. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

OK, cuz, so the Samurais, I mean. Now they're warlords. They're warlords and they are... The thing is about them is they really get popular, samurai, like in later years. Staten Island, New York, when the Wu-Tang clang formed. Yeah, I mean, Sergio Chacon asked to come on the show today and we should have had him on because he loves Wu-Tang

and he could have talked about samurais. Yeah, he loves Wu-Tang and South American revolutionaries who are communists. Yeah, Sergio Chacon is gonna come on the show probably next week and we shout out to all the people who are atists. Yeah, Sergio Chacon is going to come on the show probably next week. And we shout out to all the people who are at patreon.com slash history hyenas, making the funniest, the absolute funniest AI generated memes Yannis and I have ever seen in our life. We post them periodically on Instagram.

That is all from patreon.com slash history hyenas. Now they're getting Sergio involved in them and they are 10 out of absolute 10s. They're funny. And also, if you're in New York and you want to train, you want to box, Sergio does it in Westchester and New York, just hit him up on the gram. He doesn't have a business card. Yeah, he doesn't have a business card because he's just Sergio Chacon and this is just how they are.

It's what it is. Different cultures have different things. Different cultures have different things, but I will tell you, because Sergio Chacon, he does live, he does have Japanese wisdom to him, because when we talk to the kid Sergio Chacon, he's lived a tumultuous life at times, and he's learned a lot, and he's been sober ten years, and I just give the kid a lot of credit, because every time I talk to him, he knows how to come from a place of balance and peace and wisdom, and I respect that. Yeah, it's very respectable.

I do, I respect it. He's a Puerto Rican samurai. He's one of those things that when you talk when you're texting with him you say this man has the wisdom truly of an Asian man if you didn't know what he was and then if you Talked him on the phone. You're like I'm talking to Rosie Perez Yeah, he does have a thick accent. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so samurai's Civil war. I mean, it's just constant civil war in Japan They're all fighting and samurais, Civil War, I mean it's just constant Civil War in Japan, they're all fighting and Samurais are fighting each other.

And they train from when they're little and they got these swords like Chrissy said, and they were made in a special way where they just kept folding them and folding them and folding them and folding them till they like had all this nice flexibility and they were these special swords and they were good at taking off people's heads which these kids, the Japanese love heads but not in the way you think. They love giving head but not in the way you think. Not in the way you think.

Even though it's one of those things they love, and it's really kind of, it's tough for me to understand because they do love chopping off heads, but yet they don't love giving heads, aka blowjobs, even though they always have their hair up in a bun, which is the universal symbol of I want to suck your cock. It's a very good point. They always do have their hair kind of up. Even the Samurais had their hair tied back. It's one of those things where if I'm going to be honest with you, is I did order a full

samurai outfit for us, but it's not coming until March 26th. What we're going to do is throw on that outfit and talk about a completely different topic in about two weeks. We are just going to have our samurai outfits on. The Samurais, yeah, they thought pure love was between man and man. Is that truly what they believed? It is true, yeah. And so, and they didn't trust the women.

It was more, a lot of the marriages or whatever, relationships were kind of, yeah, political or whatever. And the real pure love was man on man. Sure. And so it was said that even samurai slept with their swords by their bed just so they would, because they were so very skeptical and paranoid about the woman killing them. So in other words, the kids love sword fights in more ways than one. They love to sword fight more way than, exactly.

Yeah. So that's the way you could just, yeah. Yeah. They were like, are we having an honorable fight with swords? Which ones? Yeah, which ones? Are swords between our legs or are metal swords? It's one of those things where they're one of the only cultures where after just a nice fight with the katanas a fight to the death

They would just kiss each other on the lips a little bit. They did. Yeah, they were really fashionable They were these like leather outfits and they looked really cool and some of them even painted their faces and wore makeup one of the most brutal samurais actually they said Often looked like a girl because he wore so much makeup and lipstick because he wanted to look good. They wanted to look good in case they were killed. They put incense in their helmets just in case their heads got lopped off. They wanted their head to smell nice

for the guy that killed them and presented their head to whatever warlord they were serving. That was a big thing in Japanese culture is they did believe a lot in honor. Everything was about honor honor honor in Japan. It still is. It's all about honor. So there's a story I want to talk to you about. Do you know the story of the 47 Ronin? Tell the people about it. Okay, so first of all, let me tell you what a Ronin is. Now, was that a movie that like Matt Damon played an

Asian guy? Cause I know people got upset about that. Yeah, no, I don't know. That was the one where he just, it was something that one was called like the Great Wall of China where it was just Matt Damon running around with a Chinese haircut. That's really funny that they chose Matt Damon or I think one of them was Tom Cruise. Was it Tom Cruise or Matt Damon? Tom Cruise was the last samurai. Yeah, he was the last samurai and he made him an Asian guy. Yeah, it's just what it is.

Well Tom, because here's what they do. Because Ali Wong wasn't available yet. Yeah, she just wasn't available yet. And it's just what it is and they did give her the part but then they she asked too many guys to sign NDAs. Wei Song Shi A. Okay. Rattle Forte.

So here's the thing yeah is okay yeah yeah oh yeah so Patti the fatty is coming cuz make no mistake if P the fatty aka Patty clips aka Patty Samah was around in ancient Japan. They instead of cutting off his head. They would have cut off his butt Yeah, it would have just offered his butt. Just get that butt in get that butt in the wide shot Yeah, cuz I mean make no mistake you better hide that butt from Pac-Man Jones when he walks in All right. Thank you. What's your name? Morgan is our new beautiful intern here. Morgan's doing a great job, goddess to raps. Morgan's an NYU student and she's gonna learn a lot from Pat, but make no mistake

Pat's gonna learn a lot from her because the girl went to NYU and Pat went to community college on Staten Island. That's just what it is. This girl's gonna teach Patty. Yeah, and when Pac-Man Jones gets here he's probably gonna hit on her yeah it's yeah it's just what is what we got Pac-Man Jones coming in thank you Morgan appreciate it um do you have the Bay Ridge boys card I don't want to lose that do you have it Pat you got the card because what happens is in my family I'll give my girlfriend my credit card and then I never see it again that's right I never see it again but I do then I just do have thousands of dollars in charges from the store Rainbow.

Ha ha ha ha. See, if you're from New York, you get that, yeah. What is, Puerto Rican girls love Rainbow. They love. And Mandys. They love Mandys and Rainbow, and if they're shopping for boys, like I said, Models is Puerto Rican Bloomingdale's.

Yeah, but Models should go out of style. Models went out of business in the New York area, and that was a very, very sad day. I honestly think that was an even worse day than when Tony Hinchcliffe called it the Island of Garm. Yeah, it's the top reporter. More people were upset about that. Yeah, it's tough. They were saying when I asked Liz, my mother-in-law, I said, do you care if Tony is to the Island

of Garm? She goes, no, it doesn't matter. I just want to reopen Models. I'll go buy my son a shirt. Yeah, it was almost as sad in the Puerto Rican culture as when one of the guys loses a snake. If you lose a snake, it's tough for them. It's tough for them. Yeah, if it crawls into the walls, it's tough. Okay, so let me tell you about the 47 Ronin.

This has been made into different movies and different in pop culture, but it's a wild story. So what a Ronin actually is has been made into different movies and you know different in pop culture, but it's a wild story. So what a Ronin actually is, what that word means is it is a masterless samurai. It's basically a samurai because they are samurai. One thing about them is they are locked into one master their whole life. Like in Avatar when they connect with that flying creature, that's what samurais are. They are locked into one master and when that master dies, a lot of samurais would commit seppuku. How do you

say it? Sepukuku. Sudoku. Yeah, sudoku. They would commit sudoku, which is them killing themselves, honorably killing themselves. So the 47 Ronin, okay, so this story, so a Ronin is a masterless samurai. Some of these guys who don't honor kill themselves then they're called ronin they're walking around they have the strength and skills of a samurai but they got no master so they're just out there so there was this guy i'm gonna take you to 1701 okay there was this guy lord asano nagarori and he was the daimo of eiko what a daimo is is like a basically like a little like kingdom within a kingdom. It's like, you know, we got the kingdom of Japan, but then the daimo are like the different big-time ruling

families. Like, you know, the goddess would be daimos of Queens. So what he did, Ito Castle, Ito is modern day Japan. So there was 1701, we're in Ito, aka Japan, and this guy Lord Osano Naginori he had he had this big party at this Ito castle and this guy Kira Yoshinaka who was a high-ranking court official got into a fight with Osano got into like a big fight people don't really know what it was about some people say was because Kira Kira wanted to like you know him to pay like a debt, and Asano was like, I don't owe you that money, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

But let's be honest, cause samurais, as we've educated you on, it was probably something gay. It was probably some type of unwanted advance, or it was one of those things where it's like, how about I tell your wife that you like it in the butt? You know? That you like me. That's just what it is,

cause you like a little chopstick in the ass. So what happened was, is they got into a fight, and Asano attacks Kira, with a sword inside the Shogun's palace, which is a no-no. Whoa. You cannot do that.

You can't be having beef like that inside the Sacred Palace, especially pulling out your sword, because you can't pull out your bladed sword, you could pull out your sword, but that's gotta be in the bathroom behind closed doors. Right. Pull out, you know?

So, Asano was immediately, by the high courts, sentenced to seppuku. He immediately was like, what it is, you got to now honor kill yourself. That's what you got to do. And so, he honor kills himself, and the people think, okay, fine, you know what, it happens, this is our law, this is what happens in Japan Japan, gotta honor kill yourself, what can you do? It's SLKs. But the people, Kira Yoshinaka's people take it even further. For some reason, they make him, they take all his lands,

they take his family lands, and then they leave his samurais all with not only no master, but now no land. So they basically are made them Ronin. The Robert De Niro's in that movie. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What was the movie name? Ronin with Robert De Niro. Was it about samurais? No. Oh, I think it was just his name. So what happened was, so what happened was is these kids just, it's very similar cost to how if Donald Trump would have just pardoned Biden on

the way out, there wouldn't be so many problems. I'm sorry. If Joe Biden would have pardoneded Biden on the way out. There wouldn't be so many problems. I'm sorry, if Joe Biden would have pardoned Donald Trump on the way out, there wouldn't be so many issues. But now Donald Trump's on a war path and he's trying to reverse Biden's pardons because he said he signed it with an auto pen. And it's just one of these things where it's like power and ego taints everything.

Because all Kira Yoshinaka had to do was say, you know what, you attacked me. Now, Osano's got to commit suicide and that's it. But he went in do was say, you know what, you attacked me, now Asano's gotta commit suicide and that's it, but he went a step further, took his land, took his samurais, and then the samurais who were under Asano Naganori say, okay, you know what, Asano Naganori had a brother. They say, why don't we just, how about this,

let his brother be our leader, let his brother be our leader, he disrespect you, his brother won't, his brother's a good kid, blah, blah, blah, blah. So, Asuna, the names are hard to remember. Yeah. Japanese one, Japanese two, Japanese three. So head Japan, the top Japanese guy, the top Japanese. Ichiro.

Yeah, Ichiro, the top Japanese guy. Well, Sho Otani. Yeah. Instead to Matsui. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the TJ, the top Japanese got, well, Sho Otani. Yeah. Otani? Instead of Matsui. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the TJ the top. So he says, they think we're going to let the brother of the guy who had to commit seppuku,

he's going to be our new leader. So instead what they do is they go back to Ito Castle thinking, oh, they'll let the brother in front of the high council. They'll let the brother be our new samurai. It'll all be good. They put the brother in prison. They say, fuck you'll let the brother be our new samurai, it'll all be good. They put the brother in prison. They say, fuck you. Now the brother's in prison.

So now you got these warriors who are like, who are all about honor and respect. And there was a system in Japan, a vengeance system, where if you felt you were wrong, they would legally allow you to seek vengeance through a couple of steps. But they were like, these guys are not letting us do that for some reason.

So 47, there was a lot of samurai, like 200 plus, and guys are not letting us do that for some reason so 47 There was a lot of samurai like 200 plus and most of them just agreed with the new penalty They said we'll be Ronin we won't cause any more trouble, but 47 Ronin 47 guys led by Oshi Kurosanuku so the Plotted revenge for over a year the kid was angry Okay, the kid was mad and okay? The kid was mad. And what he did was, he pretended in his life, he pretended to be poor, dishonorable, a drunk,

the kid's just pretending to just be a piece of shit because he doesn't want anyone looking into what he's actually plotting. So he just made believe that he was like any other samurai that was disgraced, just a scumbag, you know, in the bowels of Edo, aka Tokyo. But then on December 14th, 1702, they launched a surprise attack on Kira's mansion and they killed him and of course cut his head off. They cut the kid's head right off because that's what they have

to do and they brought it to the grave of Asano and they said, look, we did this for you. They showed the brother the head. They said, we cut the kid's head off. And so you think, okay, what most people do is they say, you know, we avenged our leader, blah, blah, blah. We cut the kid's head off. Now we're all good to go. But again, because Japan is all about honor and samurais especially all about honor, what they do is they go to the high council,

basically the people that they, you know, went against. And they say, look, here's what we did. We fucking broke into the castle. We cut off Kira's head. We just cut his head off, and now we're gonna show you that we did it. So what we're gonna do for you is you don't even have to tell us,

we're just all gonna kill ourselves in front of you. 47 of them just right there in the steps of the thing, just take their sword and plunge them into their chest, and they all kill themselves in front of the Japanese council. And it's just one of those things where, most kids wouldn't do that, but the Japanese are committed. I mean, you just, cause you can have a direct line

from that to the kamikazes. Yes, yes. You really can. You do, actually, that's what it is. Yeah, I mean, it's just that that's in the culture of the Japanese that starts with the samurai where the kids just had leaky roofs Right and they like to kill themselves. They just just land they just like to off themselves if they felt like they dishonored them Yeah

And I gotta be honest with you if jazz doesn't allow me to just rent and not buy the kid might go full Japanese You take his shoes and socks off and do a little seppuku. Yeah at a family party take his shoes and socks off and do a little sepulchre at a family party. Yeah, and the way they did it too was particularly grueling because they felt like the soul was in the middle of the body. So they would stab themselves in the middle of the body with their sword like this. So they would slowly bleed out. It'd be very gruesome. And they did that to show their honor and their dedication and their strength. And they also had a good friend nearby in case, so there was always another guy right there. So in case you got cold feet or you couldn't do it

or you didn't do it right, then the guy would just lop off your head. And it was a friendly thing to do. Yeah. And that's where the leaky roof comes in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, you're such a good friend. Yeah.

So the head would roll off, and then the head would look at the friend and go, thank you. Yeah. Thank you for being such a good friend. I really appreciate that. You're a good friend. Yeah. So the head would roll off and then the head would look at the friend and go, thank you. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Such a good friend. I really appreciate that. You're a nice guy.

Yeah. So because, okay. So the 47 Ronin, I mean, it's a wild, it's a wild. That is a wild. It's a wild story how the guys just want to kill themselves and do this. But this is just in Japan. What guys do. I mean, even still to this day, Japan, Japanese men specifically identify

themselves so much with their careers that when at the end of their career when they retire a lot of them just kill themselves that's why when Logan Paul made that video in like these woods where guys just go to kill themselves it's because this has been the culture from day one they're like look they don't fear death like that they don't think like in with us with with Catholic Christian kids if we kill ourselves we think we're going to purgatory but not them now if they kill themselves they think they're going to the bento box in the sky, baby. They do.

And they believe if they have an honorable death, then it'll be good. And if they have a dishonorable death or wherever, their punishment will be they'll be reborn as a samurai. Yeah, it's just samurais are big. Now, did you know, here's another fun fact that I want to give to you. Did you know that there was a black samurai?

That wasn't Method Man. Yes, exactly. That wasn't Ghostface Killer. Right. Did you know that there was a black samurai that didn't live in Staten Island? That's so wild. In the Park Hill Project.

That's wild. It's sort of like, you know, I think we've had a few Asians in the NBA, and so you would think that a couple blacks would become samurai, but it's not a lot. Right, yeah, because right now you could say, oh, there's a black samurai that plays for the Lakers. I know, that's just a black Japanese kid

that's on the team. Yeah, what's his name? Yah, it's... Hiko Yashimura. Yashimoto. So, it's just what it is, cousin, it's not being racist, just Japanese names are hard, just like their names would be hard for us.

You think a Japanese guy could just say Jeff easy? I don't think he can. No, it's not easy for them to tell us apart. So I want to tell you the story of a man that's been, now this guy's been debated in history. Some guys, some people say he was a samurai. Some people say he was a retainer, which was like a guy that worked for the samurais,

but wasn't, you know, at that level. His name was Yasuke. So Yasuke, so who this kid was, was first of all, he was a black African kid that came to Japan, once again, through a Portuguese guy. There was a, it was an Italian guy, his name was Alessandro Valignano, and he was a Jesuit missionary working for Portugal. Portugal loves slaves and black people more than any other country. You have to accept that.

Again, I know the white people, I know that we're bad in history, I know we're bad, bad, bad, but we gotta start talking about how Portugal just was involved in the slave market in a big way. Huge. Huge. So Yasuke is this man. Now, a lot of people are saying,

you automatically think, he's a black kid, he's with an Italian kid, he must be a slave, but he wasn't. He came over as just somebody who was working with this guy, Alessandro Valignano. So he comes in and now he's a black kid coming to Japan. There's not many of them. So the village goes nuts. The village that they originally bring him to.

I forgot what the village was that they brought him to, but they bring him to this village. And and I mean people are like pushing each other out of the way they can't wait to see it's probably like when Brittany Greiner got went into the Russian prison right nobody could believe what this thing was right right they were like holy shit seeing something they never seen it yeah they were just sitting there quiet like they were getting like like Zelensky getting yelled at by Trump yeah they were just oh my god it's like what I went to Montenegro with my college friend

and it was before really the internet and they just were pointing at him going Michael Jordan. They'd never seen a black guy. They'd never seen a black guy. So this kid, so Yasuke comes in, it's about 1579, he comes in and he's just like unbelievable. And the head guy right now was this guy, Oda Nabunaga. He was like the top guy in Japan.

Now he was also known, they used to call him like the devil leader, because the kid was bad news. He was a real piece of shit. He would boil people alive. He would behead monks, women, children. As a matter of fact, I'm gonna get to the story of when Nabunaga eventually causes a civil war. It's because one of the samurais,

who, you know, samurais, even though they're honor and they're only loyal to their leader, when he was basically, Nabunaga was making these samurais behead women and children, they were like, yo, fuck this guy, we're gonna rebel. So Yasuke and Abunaga strike up this wild friendship. Abunaga, who would, you know, is this top guy, is obsessed with Yasuke.

They're like, this kid's the best. And so they say he was like an unbelievable fighter. In many of these Japanese civil wars, Yas he was like an unbelievable fighter in many of these Japanese civil wars. Yasuke was like front lines just absolutely crushing people because the kid was 6'1", 6'2", black so you know they're stronger and he was just able to fucking wield the sword. People don't really know how he learned it. They think he must have been, he had to have been a warrior in whatever country he was from. There's not many records of him because you can't just

learn, you can't just get to the level of samurai without being like elite beyond elite. Right, now if you're a black guy and you're fighting samurai style back then, you're probably going to want to talk. 100%. Because you don't want the dick swinging because swords can get it. Well that's what I was going to say. And that was good for the Japanese because the swords, maybe the dicks are so small,

so you know like the way a bulldog's face is mashed in so it can fight, maybe the dick is small, so then the sword can't get it, so it evolved that way. That's very true, and you know what, and maybe that's why, and maybe that's why Yasuke was so much better as a samurai and could learn it so quick, because the kid had three swords. He had his sword, he had another sword that they always had, and then he just had his dick, and he would just fuck it.

I mean, because if you got a big black, like, dick from Mozambique, you can easily hit a five, get them off their feet, easy knock the wind out. Right, well, yeah, it's definitely like a diversion. Like, where's the sword? Is it down there, is it up there? He's looking at multiple swords.

It's like I'm seeing double. Now, here's the thing with samurai, too. Now, here's the thing. Here's why a lot of people debate there's no way this kid could have been actual samurai, because a lot of people said you had to be born into this culture like a Hasidic Jew. even though they said Amar is a Jew now He's not Hasidic right so you could be Japanese and be in the culture, but you can't actually be a samurai

So it's debatable a lot of people say they say that Somebody wrote a book a white guy wrote a book in like the 1800s and made this guy a samurai When Japanese historians are saying this guy was not a samurai. We don't claim him as samurai We believe he existed, but the kid wasn't a samurai but he was she served Nabu Naga faithful he definitely fought in a lot of these battles he was always there and the reason why this is wild is because at the end of Nabu not at the end of Nabu Nagas life 1582 as I said the kid fucking yeah Nabu Naga caused the Civil War because he was just a ruthless like 1582, as I said, the kid fucking Nabunaga

caused the Civil War, because he was just a ruthless, like, devil king. He was like a piece of shit, he really was. He was like Winston Churchill. Yes, yes, exactly. Which you'll hear all about on Joe Rogan. Yeah, you can hear that all about on Darrell Cooper's podcast.

Okay, he's here? Yeah, tell him, two minutes, two minutes. So, Pac-Man Jones is here, so we better get through this Black Samurai and quit. So, Nabunaga kills himself. He commits seppuku because he's being cornered. So rather than being killed and by the enemy, he kills himself because, again, honorable, who cares? And then at the end, he gives instructions to Yasuke.

This is a big honor. He gives instructions to Yasuke. He says, listen, I'm going to killuke. This is a big honor. He gives instructions to Yasuke. He says, listen, I'm going to kill myself. I'm going to commit seppuku. So I'm going to commit sudoku. So he says to Yasuke, when I'm dead, I want you to cut my head off and bring it to my son.

Cut my head off right now and bring it to my son, which was the honorable thing to do. Because like you said, these kids have leaky roofs. I mean, it's just a hole in the roof. It's a hole in the roof. So Yasuke chops his head off, and he gives it to Obunaga's son. Which was an honor. Dude, it was an honorable thing.

Which was an honor. Give the kid his, just give him my head. Like how am I dad's going to leave me a sweater? It would be back then, it's like, give me your head, dad. He's as happy as a kid on Christmas who got a PlayStation. Yeah, the kid just loved it with his pops head. But what happens then is Obunaga's enemies, of course, storm in, they don't care, and instead of killing Yasuke,

which they would have, as the other samurai's honorable and make them commit seppuku, they just give Yasuke back to the Jesuits, back to the Portuguese, and let him leave. So that's why a lot of scholars, Japanese people, are saying there's no way he was a samurai, because A, he would have gotten the title of ronin, because he's a masterless samurai, so he didn't get that. And then he was so valueless to the Japanese at that time

that they just gave him back to the Portuguese. So that's why people don't debate it, but it is one month after Black History Month, and I wanna say that I do think Yatsuke was a samurai. Even though technically he wasn't. Yeah, Wu-Tang-Klang ain't nothing to fuck with. So speaking of blacks with leaky roots We're gonna bring in Pac-Man Jones. Yeah, baby gorgeous. Can I tell you something? Yeah, I want to talk to you about a beautiful

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We thank blue chew for sponsoring this podcast All right. Here we go. We have the man himself Pack as the host of pac-man jones show on bet it online Because that's what your manager Val or your wife tish told us to say Yes, that was a great punch line right there that's it or your wife Tish told us to say. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I just stay away. Nice. Are you dipping right now? Yeah. I like that. I like that too.

Yeah. Yeah. Trying to get off this shit, but I've been dipping so long. Yeah. Nice. Cause I started dipping because I couldn't stay up in the meetings and they was finding me.

Yeah. Like fucking $10,000 every time I go to sleep. My coach was like, bro, you gotta put the dip in. Can you lower his mic? Can you lower it? He's like, bro, you gotta put the dip in. Can you lower it? He was like, bro, you gotta put the dip in. So I was like, oh, cuz he kept me up. Kept the dimes away. Did you dip while you were playing football?

Yeah. You half-dipped, right? I played games with pouches in. You did, right? You know why I think you were great? Because obviously, amazing skill level, but you just fucking, you were just going with the flow. You were just like, you'll dip,

you'll play with your chains. Like sometimes when I would watch you, I'd be like, I wonder if he gets worried if like someone's gonna tug on it or whatever. And you were like, dude, I just fucking go. Nah bro, I live my life without a seatbelt. I respect that. That's why I don't fair catch the ball.

That's it. Now, yeah, I like that. I like to live life in the fast lane. That's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah, you do, you kind of do things your own way, and you've always done things your own way. And so what do you think about the NFL?

Is it too strict when it comes to players and smoking weed and what they do off? I mean, it's just like, if you perform well, you perform well, right? Babe Ruth used to play drunk. Mickey McEnany played drunk. Yeah. I think it should be all drugs allowed.

I don't know about all drugs. Why not? Wouldn't that be great to play on crystal meth? The Nazis did it. Oh no, Ann Rogers played on ayahuasca. He's taking ayahuasca. I mean, what does it matter? I think we even said like baseball would be good if there was a guy on the sidelines with a gun and he was just randomly firing out of the field. Seriously. That would make a little more movement happen. We're also for an all-steroid league. Yeah. All-steroid? Yeah. Why the fuck not? Hey, Pac-Man, listen, America, we're about entertainment here. Yeah. So why not just get everybody on the juice and see what happens?

I don't know about that, but I like to be entertained too, though. Right? At least baseball get them all on the juice. Yeah, baseball should definitely be on the juice. And then give one player an inning in aluminum bat and have the pitcher put on a football helmet, just in case you don't want the guy to get killed, and let somebody hit an 800 foot home run. And you know, and fans can pay extra money to sit

in a seat where they could possibly catch a ball that's 800 foot. Yeah, I think so. I think so. And how come there's not more sumo wrestlers on the offensive line? There's a lot of them out there, it's just they don't claim to more sumo wrestlers on the offensive line It's a lot of my dad. It's just they don't claim to be some more rest. That's true, but they weren't fat Japanese guys. Yeah. Yeah Now Pac-Man, how long are you in New York for?

I'm here to tomorrow. I've been here like two days. Yeah fucking pack around here to take an hour to get from here to Wait because you're from what, West Virginia? Cincinnati. Cincinnati. Well I'm from Atlanta, sorry. Atlanta. Living in Cincinnati and Atlanta. Went to West Virginia.

You went to West Virginia. Yeah, cause I feel like a lot of times people come to New York and it's too much for them, but I feel like not you. You would fit in in our city. I could fit in anywhere, you know what I mean? I'm very adaptable, if that's the word that I'm trying to use. That is the word, 100%.

What's the word, maneuvers. So, I can go anywhere and hold a conversation or live or whatever I need to do because I've been around a lot of different genres, I should say. Yeah, you've done a lot, right? So, you know, he was a wrestler for a while. 100% of course, 2000's a kid, yeah.

What was that, TNA? Yeah, it was like 2007, 2008, right? I remember, yeah, I was in college. I remember Pac-Man as a wrestler. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you've done it all. Are you still doing music? I'm doing music. I actually, look, I'm gonna give y'all a sneak peek.

Hell yeah, dude. Yeah, let's hear it. Let's do it. I really don't do this all the time. Well, we feel honored. This song right here, it's a little different because everybody so used to me just rapping. I got this song, well, I'm rapping,

but it's like a country music song. Oh, yes. And I got, I got Jimmy Allen on here. Hell yeah, dude. Yeah. Hell yeah. Oh. That's you? This is Jimmy right here.

Don't leave me baby. I think I'm buying a guy a apartment like that. I think this will get everyone jumping. Hell yeah. Oh yeah. I think this will get everyone jumping. Yeah. Oh yeah. That's country, yeah. But also mix. Drop it down on like 10 gauge. Oh

This is gonna bump in the south oh, that's gonna be good. Yeah, it's gonna bump in the south. I see this song like really... I think white boys are gonna like that song too. Smell me! Pull up at the tailgate. Hell yeah. Yeah, I like it dude. Yeah, you just something different though. And then I got I got

Yeah, I like to mix stuff up. Yeah, so what did you want to be when you were a little kid? Was it a musician or an our football player? I wrote a poem like seven eight years old like Jones my name basketball my game Basketball football my game one day. I'm gonna make it to the Hall of Fame I've never thought about doing anything else but being a pro athlete. I indulged in the music just because of my environment and having a studio. Me and my group, we bought Dallas Austin Studio

that was in Atlanta. So like Young Thug, 21 Savage, Metro Boomin', all them came through the studio that we owned at the time. Do you ever play in the NFL? Because it's like such a dream, right? But were there ever days where it just felt like a day job to you? Where you're like, I don't want to fucking play the Jets. No.

You're always, every day you're like, this is amazing. I can't believe I get to do this. That's awesome. That's when you get the game taken away from you. Like from me being suspended with the commissioner, me breaking my neck, being's awesome. That's when you get the game taken away from you like from Me being suspended with the Commissioner me breaking my neck being paralyzed twice And sitting out sit out a year and get all my shit back So you respect the game a lot more once you go through I guess different things I guess and then you realize that the game is a privilege like this shit is not forever and

You got to enjoy it wise there. Can you imagine breaking your neck twice? Dude, he broke his neck twice. I know, I couldn't imagine playing that sport in winter. Oh, in the winter. Like, what is it? In shitty Pittsburgh, in fucking December when it's fucking 10 below with the wind chill.

Damn. It legit hurts. I mean, it's like a car accident when you get hit, right? No, but I feel like these guys. It does hurt, but we don't know nothing else though. Yeah, why so? Mentally, you guys are like the samurai of Athletes. Yes, you really are the elite class seat class. I mean it does no tougher sport I think football players are the toughest football and hockey. I Hockey guys are really tough. Yeah. Right?

And don't forget the lacrosse guys too though. Oh yes. Lacrosse is the fucking. Yeah. That shit is real. They're really diving on lacrosse. Yeah. That shit is real. How do you feel about the new football rules now? Will it protect the quarterback, everything?

It's always been like that really. It's just now that they put more emphasis on it. Right. Can't hit them low, can't hit them high, you better hit them right now. Yeah, you can't, everyone else can get hit, but the quarterback. Yeah. And it's like, why, the MVP always goes to the quarterback.

Right. You're the quarterback, it's like, they should have, they kind of do have, what do they have, Player of the Year or something like, so it's like, just say quarterback award. Right, let the quarterback have their own award. Have their own award, cause it's- MVP this year, to me, was Saquon Barker. say Kwan. Yeah, of course. They should have definitely won. Yeah

Yeah, we were we were big New York Giants fans. So that was tough I voted for but I was rooting for say Kwan. I say it wasn't say Kwan's problem No fault that he like you don't want to leave the Giants. I love science Let him go was just tough to watch as a giant fan. Yes, damn the giant organization sucks I mean look what they did. Yeah, I mean Daniel Jones. What was just tough to watch as a giant fan. Yes. Like damn, the giant organization sucks. I mean, look what they did. Yeah. And I mean, Daniel Jones, what was that all about? Daniel Jones.

He was never the guy. No. He was just never the guy. And they paid him again. They paid him. Wow. Yes. 100 million dollars.

100 million dollars. I mean, yeah. Do you still have all your football money? Hell no. No, no, no, no. Don't have all of it. I wish I did. Yeah, you just had fun with it. What'd you spend it on? Yeah., don't have all of it. I wish I did. Yeah.

You just had fun. What'd you spend it on? Yeah. I didn't spend all of it. I spent a good little penny of it, but like I'm in a great place as far as financially, mentally, I got some good people that's around me in my circle. Jerry Jones is one of them. But like, I didn't do too bad.

Everything I got is paid for. Yeah, good. No major debt. Good. You know what, he's adopted his friend's kids. I mean, you're a great dude. Oh yes, yeah. Amazing.

Yeah, the right thing to do that a lot of guys just wouldn't do. So, yeah. It's almost to do that a lot of guys just wouldn't do. So, yeah. So I was like, you know, when I did that, it wasn't like I was adopting them. I was just trying to get them to skip the line pass. Like I did adopt them, of course I spent a lot of money with them coming and staying with me

for three and a half years, but when I was thinking of them, I'm like, how do we get these kids notoriety? Like, because nobody was talking about him. They was they was decent athletes I would say I'm is one of them going to Ohio State or something or he's committed to us. He's a committed to us We don't know where he's gonna go. Yeah. Oh no. Yeah. I know Can hear that on the Pac-Man Jones shows on bet online. Yeah, what is it? Yeah bet online bet online Hell yeah, dude, Pac-Man Jones show politely wrong. Yeah, what do you think about you right now?

What do you think's going on with you? Who? Kanye. Mentally ill. Right, I don't feel like Kanye. No? It's just certain shit that I don't stand on. And like, I got a lot of Jew friends,

like I always call myself a black Jew. Right. Certain things, like, I only speak on certain shit. It ain't any no space for me to speak on Cunninghame. I got it. Yeah, yeah, I get you. I like that. I love his music though.

His music is good. It's tough, yeah. I do like his music. Yeah, Black Jew Friends is a funny thing to say. I can't wait for a new single, which is probably gonna be called like, something crazy. say. Yeah, I can't wait for a new singer, which is probably going to be called like, uh, how he'll, you know, Yeah, something crazy.

Hitler. Hitler, yeah. Yeah, I mean, dude, what about, what about, do you, do you see any hope for, I mean, New York football, like the Jets? I mean, I, we made, like, the Giants are okay. You got an unbelievable receiver right now. Right.

We just need a QB. He's great. He had a bad concussion though. Remember that one concussion you got for a couple of years. Tell me what team is good without a good quarterback. Nobody. Zero. A zero. It's really a quarterback.

There's some teams that's good with a good quarterback without no help, but it's hard to be good without a good quarterback. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, they got the quarterback, I guess, in, is there, I don't think there's anybody who's more important to the guys driving the quarterback this year. I hope so. I mean, but she's gonna go one or two. And then maybe they'll take Sanderson, possibly, right? Yeah, I mean.

They could. Hopefully, that's what they need to do. The Giants organization, we've been bad for a long time. For a very long time. It's been very brutal for a long time. Here's the thing you could say, people would make fun of Eli Manning and say he's cross-eyed and look at him.

That guy won fucking two Superballs and every time he got hit, he got right up. Yeah. So Eli Manning, I personally think he's full of famer. His brain is so big when it comes to football. Yes. Being in that family, I'll take Eli Manning with no arm, just for him to get us in and out of plays. Seriously.

You know what I mean? I don't think they get enough praises like they should. The Manning family is fucking unbelievable. Like, especially when it comes to like X's and O's and football and. When they talk, when they start, I've watched the Manning Brothers telecast and stuff

when they do their show, when they talk plays, it's actually like speaking a different language. I don't know, I love sports. I have no idea what they're even talking about because it's just like they say it's so quick Yeah, yeah, it's wild. Is there a more underappreciated position though than the cornerback? I mean Pac-Man I'm saying the cornerback is the hardest job. It's the hardest job. Besides the quarterback. Yeah, I do think quarterback is the hardest job Yeah, just because you making all the blitzes you call them

You know taking the shit and all that me going garden is motherfucker on an island by myself. It's really hard, but I think the quarterback position is a little bit more in depth of IQ and different things when it comes to football. Who's the best quarterback you ever played with? Do you think? That I play with? Do we have a spit count by the way? I'm counting nine spits.

Let's get a spit counter up. You said that I played with? That you played with, yes. The best one, Steve McNair. Wow. Yeah. RIP, man. Steve McNair was the best.

The rest of them was shitty. Interesting. Did you play with him on tight? Yeah. Was that when you guys went far? Did you go to Super Bowl? No, we didn't. But you went deep in the playoffs that year, right?

We had a good year. He got an MVP, right, Steve McNair? Yeah. I think so. And he got an offensive MVP, too. Yeah. Yeah, he was great. He was.

And what happened? It was the girl he was dating? The girl he was dating, I believe. Yeah. I don't believe that. You think it was something else? You think it was something more like a conspiracy? I was with Steve the week before

He passed away. Mm-hmm and The girl was with him also actually, we're doing Joe's versus pros in LA and I just me personally. I just don't believe that she would do it. Like why would you kill somebody that's taking care of you? I just don't believe that she would do it. Like why would you kill somebody that's taking care of you? Yeah, it doesn't make sense. It's some foul play. Her name was Sahel Kazemi.

Does she then killed herself? That's what they say. That's what they say, the murder suicide. So what do you think if you had to speculate, what do you think possibly happened? I don't think she killed herself. I don't think she killed him either. You think somebody came in and killed the both of them?

It's the only thing that's possible, right? Who do you think, what do you think it could have been? Was he in any trouble or anything? No, I think this was all like in a circle. In a circle shit. Damn. Yeah. That's interesting. Her name was Sahil Kazemi. Yeah.

So it was Middle Eastern, I guess. So. They were saying it was her ex-boyfriend. Oh. Her ex-boyfriend killed the both of them. That's what it says here. Yeah. Oh, interesting. Yeah. That's very interesting both of them. That's what it says here, yeah. Oh, interesting. That's very interesting. Very sad.

That sucks. I don't think that's what happened either. No. No. So you just have no idea what happened, but you just don't believe it? Well, I got an idea what happened. Only thing I'm saying is,

let's just say Steve, best friend, get there and call someone before he called the police. That seemed kind of skeptical to me. Yeah, I don't love that. I don't love that. I don't love you. Yeah, you gotta call the cops right away. Right.

Man, that does suck. And see, because they don't talk about that really in that documentary. No, no. They just say it's all... There's a lot of things throughout history. It's not what it seems. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

I mean, we talk about it all the time on this podcast, these conspiracies. You're like the government can make anything look like anything they want. Anytime. Yeah. It's wild, dude. Do you know anything about Samurais? Yeah, I know there's only one black one. That's right. Just talked about them. What do you know about the black samurai? Yeah. What you mean? What I know. Well, like what I'm saying, like, what do you, like, what, do you know anything about him? Um, I did a little research. What do you like?

What'd you like about him in your research? He was on the black guy. Everybody else was Japanese. We were saying, we were saying this is the only black samurai besides the Wu-Tang clan. There's him. His name was Yusuke. Yusuke. And he was a very Yusuke dude.

And they said he was 6'2", which at that time was the tallest person they've ever seen in Japan. Because 6'2' today, that's like being 6'9' or something like that, people got bigger. But the dude Yasuke, see some people say, we were talking about this earlier, some people say he wasn't a samurai, but they're fucking haters.

I wanna say he was a samurai. Japanese historians are not claiming him. See, that's the we talk about dude in the media it's always white people are the most racist and I'm saying we've had our moments but Asian people are pretty fucking racist. They hate each other number one and then they really don't like anybody who's not Asian. They will not claim Yatsuke. I will claim him as a white guy but the Japanese won't. Yeah people just people are horrible. No matter what.

No matter where you go. No matter what. That's what, everywhere you go, people are just horrible. Dude, we were talking about this before, even the Portuguese, how come people don't talk more, why is it always white people who wear the biggest pieces of shit? Because Portuguese are white. They are. No, but the Portuguese, they are, but they're not really white.

Like why, you know. Hold on, what do you mean they're not really white? Because well, they're fucking speak Spanish or Portuguese. No, they speak Portuguese. But it's not. But Spanish are white too. Yeah, but they're not, I feel like me as a white, I'm white, even he's Greek, right?

Like I'm look like the whitest guy in here and I get all the hate when meanwhile I'd be the least racist and my family has nothing to do with fucking anything. Well, hold on, Greeks might be the least racist. Oh, that's not true. No, Greeks are not. Greeks are not racist. Everybody though. Yeah. Yeah. Greeks hate everybody who aren't Greek. Yes. Not me. You sure? Yeah, I'm positive. I got a lot of Greek friends. That's pretty good to me. Then that's good. Yeah. I got a lot of white friends. That's pretty good. Yeah, exactly.

So who do you think the most evil people are? Group? Blacks. Blacks? see we agree Yeah, do you think just all people are bad it depends on the person depends Yeah, no matter what color it is. Yeah. Well, that's what I'm telling bad person is a bad person So what is what is up with human nature? What's going on? Why are we why can't we just chill? We have it so good We got iPhones. we got food. How come we can't just get along and just exchange cultures and just be happy? I don't know. You tell me. It's a tough thing to figure out.

I think we're getting closer to it. I think we're getting closer to it in history. I don't know what it is. I think we're getting closer to this kind of like we're all kind of in this shit together. Not in our lifetime, but we're closer today than we were 300 years ago. I agree with that. You think we need like another, like what? AI, bro.

AI, maybe AI. That's what we gotta fight against. Or maybe AI will be so smart that it'll tell us, like what are you guys doing? No, what I think, the only way, personally, that I think is two things need to happen. We as a human race, cause we're so divided right now, need to come together and fight something else.

So it's either aliens or AI. So if we come together, because then we'll see. You better not fuck with AI, because AI is undefeated right now. They right now, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They are undefeated. We think there's people right now

who are so advanced at their AI, like LeBron James. We've said this on the show before, that there's no way LeBron is a human being. He has to be AI made by the Chinese because he does love them. AI, I might agree with that because to do what he's doing at 40 years old for 22 years is crazy. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, dude, I'm out for two weeks after a colonoscopy and this guy's- What? Not even two weeks, like three weeks. Yeah. I mean, yeah. He's a, I don't, I wonder if he,

now here's a question. If LeBron was in the NFL, which many people said he could have made it, and we all here agree, do you think he'd still be playing in the NFL? You can't play that long like that. Nah, he ain't gonna, he won the quarterback. Only quarterbacks can play that long. Only quarterbacks, right?

Right. So how good friends are you with Goodell now? Um, I love Goodell. Yeah, that's good. I have no problem with Goodell. Yeah. Yeah, I mean. Goodell, like I love Goodell. Yeah that's good. I have no problem with Goodell. Yeah. Goodell, he suspended me but it helped me in the long run. That's good. Well that's the thing is like you know one thing I think about like the

media and just like people's brains in general is like somebody who's never met a Roger Goodell, who's never met you know any of these people they just hate them for no reason. It's like you've never even met the man like even Trump it's like you don't know anything about him you know what the of these people, they just hate them for no reason. It's like, you've never even met the man. Like even Trump, it's like, you don't know anything about him. You know what the media feeds you. You know little clips of a human being. That's crazy, I was just telling somebody this today, like how you watch the news,

like I'm a big Dave guy, I watch ABC a lot. And you can tell how the conversations are controlled to make people flip to one side instead of telling the whole story. Like, for instance, Biden, I ain't saying this no type of way, he said he wasn't gonna pardon his son, god damn it, what'd he do? Pardon his son.

Pardon his son. Like all this shit is so tick for tack, I guess I wanna say. And it ain't no difference. I mean, it's just a slight difference as far as which one you like, you know what I mean? If you got some money, you gonna like the other side. If you ain't got no money, of course you gonna like that side.

Right, if you got money, you Republican. If you don't, I always say everyone's a Democrat till they get rich. And then, yeah. But see, that's what I think personally. If we were just like, if things were instead of one race versus that race, one political party versus that political party, if it was just like, hey, rich people help poor people a little bit more and that's how you broke down problems, I don't think anybody would

really mind. It's when you say, oh, so and so doesn't have advantages because they're black or white or whatever. Now it's like, now stop with the fucking skin color and make it about the money. Right. You know? It's always about the money.

It's always about that. It's always about the money, isn't it? Is that what you found? It's always about the paper. Yeah. That's it. That's what we say. I got a question for you that I've always wondered, right?

Football's a sport where your team is just, there's so many dudes on the team. There's so many guys. Have you ever? There's only 56 on the NFL roster. Yeah, it's a lot compared on the team. There's so many guys. Have you ever? There's only 56 on the NFL roster. Yeah, that's a lot compared to other sports. That's a lot of dudes. I mean, yeah.

College you got about 120. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Yeah, that's why if you can't make a college football team, you're just not that good. Could you remember, is there a point where you're just like, you on the team? Like you don't even know,

can you remember names of your teammates? You're like, oh dude. I do. What's the longest you went into a season though, where you were like, I actually don't know that, can you remember names of your teammates? You're like, oh dude. I do. What's the longest you went into a season though where you were like, I actually don't know that fucking guy's name. Like you knew everyone's name on special teams? Hell yeah, they had the fucking block for me.

That's a good point. I would call them out if I'm fucking getting hit. Like pre-season, you don't really get to know everybody because motherfuckers be in and out of there. But as far as defensive wise, you know everybody. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think about field goal kickers.

They're converted soccer players. Would football be better without these little white boys who kick? No, I'm all for special teams, bro. No, but here's the thing. I hate when a game comes down to just just a field goal. Yeah and they miss. Did you have like did they get beat up behind did you like did you just give a wedgie and hang them on a hook? Or look at I mean what I mean the guy just lost the game for you. No because it's part of the game I think it's I think it's I think

it's a part. I don't think it's crazy these guys' blood, sweat, and tears are out there fighting, and then this guy who's been sitting on the sideline. But it's part of the game. He's a converted soccer player. He's gotta stay, but these guys gotta stay fucking loose. That's why I think Justin Tucker, there should be no problems because the kid got a few happy endings. Who gives a shit?

The kid's gotta stay loose. Ah, don't say that now, because we ain't say that when we was talking about the other guy that had. Deshaun Watson? They like a happy ending Y'all are giving him a pass though. No, I wasn't I was all about DeSean Everybody's getting Tucker a pass. No, and I think I would gave DeSean a pass too I think he'd get a little happy endings. How else would you get through a fucking marriage?

And Kraft likes and Kraft like happy endings too. Who doesn't? Who doesn't dude? I mean honestly, what other way can you get through this fucking life without a little Asian hands on your cock? It's a different text, bro. I mean, the kid, do you think he's gonna get thrown out of the NFL now for this? Tucker? Yeah.

What did he do? He just got a hand job? That's what they say, but I actually don't know the facts. I really don't, so I shouldn't, you know. I just don't think, I think it's part of the massage. Right. It's not? It's not?

No? Well then you haven't been to West Garden here in New York City. Yeah. Yeah. I did go to the Asian spa here though. It's pretty nice. It's pretty nice.

Yeah. That's what it is. Yeah. They take care of you. Bambooz. What's they say? What did Justin Tucker's? Why I mean this guy is kind of fucked now. Yes, it's horrible. He didn't do anything wrong. Well, no, I think he did though I think you do know well, I don't know what it is. Let's before we start being assholes. Let's see

Justin talk to describe the out Justin Tucker said the allegations now Justin Suggie continues to maintain innocent as the spotlight remains on his allegations sexual misconduct. Yes, so what does that mean? Yeah, I mean the problem is this guy. Didn't that kid Hardy just on the Cowboys didn't beat his wife to like. Yeah, but he got thrown out of the NFL for that. Did he? Of course. I remember he got hit to ass. He was playing after that. You can't do that. So Tucker was accused of sexual misconduct by 16 female massage therapists. Bro, you just made me miss my whole drink when you were shooting. Literally, I missed my whole

mouth. That was funny. From eight different spas and wellness centers in Baltimore. That's a lot. I got to be honest with you. Do you believe this though? Yeah, but one or two is something, but 16, I mean, the kids got believe it. No, I think it's got an issue What does that mean sick? I wanted a connection different people Sexual misconduct. What is that? What does that mean? Dick in there probably right Without consent of the massage. Okay, right. No, what is it this guy? That's Justin Tucker. Yeah, who is this guy? He's the best field goal kicker arguably. Oh, no, no, no, no, no guy? That's Justin Tucker. Yeah, who is this guy? He's the best field goal kicker, arguably, of all time.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. He was one of them. He had a horrible year. He did have a horrible year this year. Know why he had a horrible year? Tell me. That shit right there, he knew all this shit was coming out.

He did, right, for real, right? He knew it. And they hit it. Right, so that's why. They hit it. Right. You know why they hit it? Because they needed his ass.

Right. And then once he had a horrible year, they said, fuck it, release it. Interesting. Same way it sound like the Texans did, oh boy. Yeah, yeah, seriously. Are you talking about? Yeah, the owner bring all that shit.

Craft. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I wonder if, yeah, this is a good way to get out of a contract. Just say, you know what, let's release the story about him getting happy endings. Yeah, because I mean like 16. Let's do it after playoffs too.

Let's not try to, he already going through the shit. He already know what's going on. He's in a fucking slump right here the last six weeks of the season. Can we just give the guy a little slack so we can try to win the Super Bowl? Yeah. Well, that's the thing too is like,

you know, I did a show with Tiki Barber, right? Tiki Barber, great. Tiki's the man. And Tiki told me, he goes, you know, we're as much as, you know, we're living our dream and all that, we're just men at the end of the day. He goes, so if you go, he goes, sometimes a player would have a bad game.

Tiki was like, the times I have a bad game, it's like, maybe I got into a fight with my wife. Maybe my kid isn't doing good in school. Anything else that would fuck us up on stage as convenience could fuck me up on the field. This is the same shit. So when nobody could figure out why this guy did not admit. Why his mother fuckers missing all these kicks and he ain't never missed.

Because he knew that they were going to come at him with the happy endings. So I guess he'll get thrown off, but what did his wife say? Is his wife okay with this? I mean at the end of the day, why can't wives, why does happy endings have to be cheating? Why can't the wives just allow that if it's part of the body and there's no kissing on the mouth? I don't even know her fucking name. Right's part of the body and there's no kissing on the mouth? I don't even know her fucking name. It's just a hand, I can't even close my eyes.

What the hell? How else am I supposed to get through this? I can't do anything. I don't know, it just seems fishy that two players, 16, I mean, Sean Watson had what, 16, or he had a lot too. Look at this thing, the false allegations, the wife said the false allegations against Justin have caused so much hurt to our family I believe my husband and I love it support him fully. So that means she just allowed him to get happy ending

Look, it's a strong love it. Yeah, I love it. It's got a stressful job. He's sitting on the side He's a converted soccer player whatever these guys are out there playing the whole game and then he comes on to the field You know much stress it is all these guys are the team look I'm like you better make this shit we're gonna beat your ass the guy needs a happy end up to blow off some fucking snow look now look here's the thing if he was though and again I don't know story if he was actually grabbing them and putting the hand on a dick without them they think they're you know just doing a massage that's a different story and that's maybe what happened right but I got to be honest

you go to some of these places and they just start doing it. Yeah. I've heard. You heard? I've heard. My friend told me. Sources. My friend told me. And so my friend told me that that's what they do. And if that's doing that, then how can I stop it? But I have to think if it's 16 women, he was fucking. Probably. One of the autographs and you can't do that. 16 is a lot.

That's a lot. You can't come back from 16. All I know is it's a very stressful job. It is. It is. Very stressful job. I will say it is. Every game's like a playoff game. You're out there in negative degree weather in Wisconsin.

Every time you get hit it feels like a car crashes. All this pressure. There's no guaranteed money in the NFL. Let me ask you this. Is there a team? I would need a handy at least. 100%. Yeah, I would need a handy at least.

100%. That's at least. Well at least, make sure she sign up for it. Yeah handy at least. 100%. Yeah, I would need a handy at least. 100%. That's at least. Well at least, make sure she sign up for it. Yeah, at least. Now, let me ask you this. Was there a team that if you were like, I do not wanna play for that team? Because I can't.

Bismarck. Why? Never. You don't wanna live in that city? I hate everything about it. What is it? Everything, bro. Just a stinky ass city. The river's ugly.

I agree. The colors stink. Um, potholes everywhere when you drive through the fucking city. It's nothing like. Even if they were a playoff team, you're like, I don't want to do that. I would, I would never. Wow. Pittsburgh. Cause you're from Cincinnati, so that's a rival. No, well I'm from Atlanta. But I went to West Virginia too. Yeah. So don't forget about the rival between, the backyard brawl between Pitt and West Virginia. Wow, so Pittsburgh is the city.

Yeah. So you'd rather, you would play anywhere else? Anywhere besides Pittsburgh. Interesting, you playing fucking Jacksonville. Doesn't matter. The players coming out now and saying how shitty Pittsburgh is. See the running back went to the charges, he told them like the fucking city is stink, the fucking facility is horrible.

Pittsburgh? Yeah. What? I thought they were like. Don't say that good about Pittsburgh on the show. Huh? Don't talk good about Pittsburgh. No, no, no, no, I'm not. I will be there in November. Go to Christiecomedy.com for tickies. But yeah, I will agree with Pac-Man here. Fuck them. But when he-

Fuck Pittsburgh. Yeah, but I will say, but I thought that they were like a premier franchise, like the Giants and the Steelers, like these legacy franchises that treated everybody good. I guess I'm wrong. All right. Pac-Man does not like Pittsburgh. He does not like Pittsburgh.

Hey, you know what? I support that. Yeah. Whatever people wanna do. I feel that way about Jacksonville as a city. You don't like Jacksonville? I hate you. Duuuuuhhhhhhvaaaaaa!

Yes, yes. Yes. I don't like Indianapolis as a city. Yeah. Indy do suck too. Yeah. Yeah, Indy kinda sucks. Let's be honest, dude.

It ain't worse than Pittsburgh, though. It ain't worse than Pittsburgh, but let's be honest. Okay, you got the big ones. You got New York, Atlanta, LA, Chicago, Miami. Dallas, bro. And Dallas. Dallas should be honest. Okay, you got the big ones you got New York, Atlanta LA, Chicago, Miami Dallas bro, and Dallas Dallas should be what else I mean, what are like Dallas, huh? Yeah, you would play for the Cowboys all day Yeah, everything is different in Jerry. We're like I can imagine. Yeah, I love all the perks that come with it, too He is he the guy gives the most perks Probably it's the city that give you the most perks. Okay. Like everybody got a deal, everybody like, if you were on the practice

squad with the Cowboys, I hate to say it, but this business is lined up outside of the facility. Let's just say if Justin Tucker was playing for the Cowboys, he'd have a different life right now. Yes, he would. Yeah, yeah. Those girls. Yes, he would. Jerry protects the guys a little more. He has more understanding. I respect that. Yeah, I would say that, yeah. And like, just being on the Cowboys is different than any other organization that I've been to.

And I've had a lot of people that played in the NFL, but like, yeah, Cowboys different. Yeah. Cowboys different. Denver treats you good too though. Denver was a good spot too. How do you navigate all that, when you're a professional athlete and you're a star, how do you navigate, women are just throwing yourself,

you go play in Miami, you go to Prime, I'm sure there's women at the bar, just. It's not easy. Yeah, you gotta stay away from, how do you know, how do you deal with that? How do young guys deal with that? It's just like McDonald's not easy. Yeah, you gotta stay away from, how do you know, how do you deal with that? How do young guys deal with that? It's just like McDonald's, bro. Yeah.

Go through the line, you figure out if you wanna buy something or not. Right. Simple as that, bro. Simple as that. Right. See, the thing I love about Pac-Man Jones, he doesn't have blood pressure issues, dude.

He's not stressed out about anything. He's like, I got ways to figure this shit out. Yeah. Yeah. Which I respect, I like. It's the answer to everything. It is, right? You know what I mean? How you explain the answer to figure this shit out. Yeah. Yeah. Which I respect, I like. It's the answer to everything. There is, right? You know what I mean?

Just how you explain the answer to whoever you got the answer to. Yeah. What have you learned? Have you gained a lot of wisdom? Because you're a guy, you know, the media always talks about you, and what have you learned about life? What is life about?

Life is about being happy, bro. Yeah. And I learned, like, it don't matter how much money you got to fucking be mentally okay, you get what I'm saying? That's priceless, right? It's priceless. Everyone, the money's gonna be there. Money's not hard to get.

Being insane and making sure you fucking mentally there every day and you enjoy yourself, just you enjoying yourself is way more than the money part. So I would say the biggest thing I've learned doing these fucking what, 20 years, the last 20 years I would say, is just being okay with myself, like figuring out different things for me.

You know what I mean? I've been in an unbelievable situation, like football changed my life. Put me in rooms where I never would've thought I would've been in, you know what I mean? I've pretty much done everything. Like I'm golf with the fucking president, so I done did a lot of shit.

Which president? The right now. Oh, Trump. Yeah. What do you think about Trump? I love him. I already told you that. It's true.

But I took that pig skin and adapted it into my way, which was not right every time. Sure, but you did it your way. But I did it my way. Well, what I like about you, Pac-Man, truly, is I'm feeling your peace and wisdom, and it really is truly, I believe it wholeheartedly, and what I also like about you is the dichotomy of you,

because you are a peaceful, wise man, but make no mistake. I'm on bullshit time. You make absolutely no mistake, you fucking pop off with Pac-Man in the airport, you get punched in the face. I love that. I really ride with that aspect of you where it's like, bro, much like the samurai.

Bro, that was Shaq, bro. I was protecting Shaq. Wait, what? I didn't know that. Yeah, Shaq was with me on that trip. Protecting Shaq? Who needs to protect Shaq? Pac-Man.

Yes. Y'all should, like, Shaq was on the show with me and Pat on the Pat Show, and he explained everything. Okay, well, we'll watch that. Okay. Yeah, well, I didn't know. But the thing is, it's much like samurai stuff. That's why I brought it up,

because we talked a little bit about samurai here. They were peaceful and stayed true to wisdom. They had all these sayings, but they will fucking behead you if you cross them, and that's what Pac-Man will do with a one-two right. Well, it is true, you can't really be peaceful unless you're capable of great violence. 1,000%.

Otherwise, you're just harmless. The only way Pac-Man is able to speak. Pac-Man is capable of great violence. When you... Yes, but he got that through peace. Yeah. Pac-Man wasn't gonna be able to be as peaceful as he is now without knocking a few heads off.

And that's just what it is, and I respect that. I think it's the weed now, though. I'll be so high. Yeah, right Well, that's where you got the sunglasses on. No, this is like mine. It's just your luck. Yeah Yeah, so you smoke a lot of weed now smoke a lot of weed there is and it helps mellow you out Yeah, yeah, but now let me smoke a lot of weed while you were playing the NFL. I've always smoked always good Well, that's why you said you're famous for, you said you never used your own piss. Yeah, never.

Whose piss did you use? What kind of nerdy friend do you have that would clink his ass a lot? I got a couple good friends that, that's been around me a long time, like my best friend, Chris Harvath, left with me from West Virginia. He had pretty good piss.

Let me just say this though. Shout out his piss. Yeah. You're constantly in pain when you play football. I mean it's either gonna be painkillers or weed. Oh they giving you the painkillers. Yeah so why what's worse weed or pain? I prefer the, I prefer. Weed's not as bad as pain killers. I prefer the weed because if you take the painkillers like you have soft tissues injuries. Yeah. I'm talking about hamstrings, groins, and all that shit because the pain pills, it basically dries your muscles. Right.

That's why, like, why not, I think it was in the, who was from the Browns who kept getting suspended for weed? Oh, no, that was a receiver. Josh Gordon. Josh Gordon. Josh Gordon kept getting, I was like, this is such bullshit. So stupid. Like, just let the guy smoke weed if it calms him down

and he'll be an excellent player. It's not a performance enhancement, if anything anything it's a performance disinhibitor. Right. It could be, it could be. It depends on how he reacts with you. It's gonna hurt you. Yeah dude, I agree with that. I'm hoping that we get to a point in this thing where like we just, we remember that athletes are people first, and they're going through problems just like the guys and the fans are going through problems. And if you want to smoke a little weed to go, cause you got a big business meeting,

same thing, I might not smoke a little weed cause I'm in the Superbowl right now. Why do we have to drug test everybody for everything? It's bullshit to me. Let the guys just play. I think that's, I've always been not okay with that. I understand steroids. I get it.

You don't want little kids doing steroids, I get that. But the weed, come on dude, it's legal. It's legal. It's legal, why are people getting suspended for it? Yeah, now it is. It was unfortunate that it wasn't for so long because it's so stupid. Alcohol is much worse than weed.

I mean dude, Ricky Williams, what was the, the guy was so high he would do his fucking interviews with his helmet on. Yeah. He didn't give a shit. Or a dress. Yeah, he didn't give a fuck. I like a guy like that.

That's awesome. Now let me ask you this. Let me ask you this, Pac-Man. The last time you said you got arrested was 2024, right? That's what that was? No. I just got arrested. Oh, you did? What happened recently?

This is a lawyer calling. In Dallas. Why'd you get, what happened in Dallas? It was some little racist shit. Somebody who's racist against you? Yeah. White guy? No, Mexican. See?

But I told you the whites were not the worst. Everyone can meet the folio. Yeah, and I went to grab him and I accidentally like tapped the officer ass going to grab him. Oh shit. So you know, oh no, he's hitting the officer. I fucking hit this lady. I wouldn't do that if he had nothing to do with it. I was trying to get to grab him. Oh shit. So you know, oh no, he's hitting the officer. I fucking hit this lady. I wouldn't do that.

Sure. She had nothing to do with it. I was trying to get to his ass, but. Trying to get to the Mexican guy. The officer was Mexican. No. The lady was Mexican. No, the guy.

The guy. The guy. I was trying to get to, yeah. Was Mexican. Right, and you know what? And fucked that, dude. And that's why we need the wall. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. we're saying. Yeah, see? Me and Pac-Man, you know what I mean? We get it.

He's a lib cuck. Don't let him fool you. He fucking rides and dies with Biden. Trash. Yeah, dude. But that's very, very interesting stuff, man. I think now, do you think, Pac-man, do you think this country, the United States of America, you think we're heading for glory years? You think we're going up, up, up? A

lot of people trying to talk shit about America now saying we're not as good as we used to be. What do you think? We've been in depth, how long? Long time, long time. I'm trusting what Trump do. You like Trump? Tax their ass. Yeah.

Tax them to get us to get our tax back. Tariff. Yeah. And we didn't even know what tariffs were, we got to be honest with you. We thought it was in the NFL. So it was brief Does sound like yeah, yeah, we're like yo to like John saying if he's a man We're for him, but yeah, I agree too. I'm with the plan I also don't know enough about politics and how to especially run a nation to know. I just like, hey, this guy seems like he knows

what he's talking about, let's just follow the lead. But Yanni feels different. No, we're watching the American pie bake right now. Nobody knows what's gonna happen. We're just looking at the oven going, how's this gonna turn out? You think it's gonna be good? It's gotta be good.

Yeah, it's gonna be good. Do you think they'll ever have football in the Olympics? That's a good question. That'd be good, right? We would beat the shit out of everybody. I don't, like who would we play games? Yeah. Next Olympics.

Yeah, next Olympics got flag football. We fucking lost in flag football, the last one, didn't we? In the Olympics, we lost in flag football? No, they had a flag thing, cause I was talking shit about it. I'm like, how in the fuck are we losing in flag football? Yeah, come on, dude. We're the best.

And we all have to be the best football players. We lose to in flag football. Who else even plays? They just had a flag football. Um, were any ex NFL guys in the flag football? They had a flag football. Uh, damn, when was it? They just had some with flag football. It had a flag football, damn, when was it? They just had something with flag football.

It was a couple different. Flag football and the Olympics flag football team will make its Olympic debut in LA in 2028 Olympics. Go back and Google US, that is right there, go down. Which one? Go up, go up. Go up. Right there.

This one? One down. There it is. Flag football is coming to the 11. No, but we played somebody. Yeah. I'm not mistaken. We just had a tournament or some shit with flag football. We stunk up the fucking place.

Yeah, cause that is a good point though. Who would, like basketball and other sports, there's many nations playing it. And they've caught up. What other countries playing Canadians. It would be hard though. Don't you think? We want to the Japanese what in flag football What the fuck? Yeah, what?

Japan be how did we? Yeah. Well, first of all, who's on the US plan for Japan? They can beat us here Yeah, yeah, who was it? Can you please pull up the Japanese flag football team? And wait, who's playing on the American team? Yeah, I mean. Nobody. Yeah. Seriously. That's the problem. Yeah, dude.

That is wild that we lost to the Japanese. And we got destroyed. What was the score? 41 to 20. It was bad. Jesus Christ. Well, you know what, dude? We'll let Japan have a win, because they got their ass kicked

in World War II. Yeah, they did. So we'll just let them. You know what? You could beat us in flag football and that's about it. Yeah. Um, well, this is good, dude. We've been on with Pac-Man Jones for close to 45 minutes and neither one

of us has got punch in the face. So that's, I think a win for the history hyenas right here. Let me ask you this before we let you go. Do you remember our names? No way. I mean, dude, let's just ask him. There's no way. I don't think I said mine.

That's it. Yeah. We did at the beginning. We did? Yeah. Yeah. There's no way. Yeah, dude. I don't think I said mine. That's it. Yeah. We did at the beginning. We did. Yeah. Yeah. There's no way he's going to remember mine. Yeah.

He's, he's going to go back like, yeah, I just did these two white girls podcasts. And, uh, he's got a better chance. You remember me because yours is a normal name, Chris. He'll never remember. Right. Yeah. And mine, he might know mine. He might remember mine now.

Cause, uh, Yannis. I know Kevin. Neither one. Kevin. Neither one is this Kevin. But that's all right. I'm Yannis. I know Kevin. Neither one of us is Kevin. Kevin, neither one of us is Kevin. Neither one of us is Kevin. But that's all right. I'm Yannis, like the basketball player. I'm Yannis and I'm Chris.

Don't believe it. It's true. No, it's true. All right. Yeah. Well, Pac-Man. They call me Miss Pac-Man. Yeah.

Oh yeah. You know there's a Miss Pac-Man too. What do you mean? There's a video game. Oh, in the video game, Miss Pac-Man? Yeah. You call your girl Miss Pac-Man or no? No. No, yeah. You know there's a Miss Pac-Man too. What do you mean? There's a video game. Oh, in the video game, Miss Pac-Man? Yeah. You call your girl Miss Pac-Man or no?

No. No. No. My wife, yeah. Yeah. Oh, you do call her Miss Pac-Man? Miss Pac-Man. She got the Miss Pac-Man chain too.

How many kids do you have? Three. That's a nice number. Yeah. One of those Thursdays. I got three as well. He has two. I got two.

We got a lot of kids in here. Boys, girls, I mean. Two girls for me. I got two girls and a boy. Oh, damn. We just like two girls and a boy. That's it, baby. Yeah.

Yeah, so that's nice. Is the boy the youngest? The boy's the oldest. Oh, my boy's the youngest. Nice, and then your daughter's other? My daughter is at Mississippi State right now. Shout out to Zaniya. Shout out to Zaniya.

She just actually ran the SEC Indoor Championship the other day. Oh, nice. And then I have my middle daughter, which is true, and she's 14, and then Joni's seven. You think Joni, you want him to go to the NFL? Would you joke him towards it or no? He's definitely gonna be tough. If I had You think Joni, you want him to go to the NFL? Would you joke him towards it or no?

He's definitely gonna be tough. If I had to bet right now, he'd be top five pick, either in NFL or soccer. Really? He's good at both. He's good at soccer. Yeah. Sturdy fast kid in the country right now. Wow.

At seven. At seven. That's amazing. Motherfucker run the 13th flat in the 100, seven years over. Wow. Now do you, you don't mind if he plays in the NFL even with the CTE stuff?

You don't care, you want him to play? Nah, nah, nah, motherfucker getting CTE goddamn walking around. For real? Like for real, for real. Yeah. And we need to start wearing these fucking caps of our helmets and I'm so sick of this shit.

I actually had a conversation with the dude that originally like, read those. And there's no data saying that this shit help you like from getting concussions. He did this shit for seven on seven. It was never really supposed to be for guys to wear this shit in the NFL. I think they should ban it.

You think they should ban it? It looks stupid, it don't help. So then where do you think the concussions come from? Is it just not being shown how to tackle properly? But I mean- Oh shit is gonna happen. Like you gotta realize, bro, us playing football is a fucking wreck every tackle.

I know. Like, all right, so you think about the airbag busting you in your face every time you fucking stop. Eventually you're gonna get a fucking concussion. Sure. If you get hit the right way. Right.

Or you might be lucky and don't get hit the right way and don't have a concussion. I like, so it's just sort of a warrior thing. Like you're playing the sport, you just gotta know that it's gonna happen. Well I'm saying like out of my whole career I've never been concussed. Now I broke my neck but I was still alert yelling like,

yo, I can't move, help. Right. But I've never got hit where I'm like. Never had that happen. Yeah, yeah, it's just because, you know, you've, because it is, it is interesting though, because they always say the CTE happened so much in the NFL, but then you look at a sport like rugby,

where they're tackling with no helmets and it almost never happened, CTE. Yeah, but rugby is not football, bro, come on. Yeah. The fuck are we talking about? Exactly. There's like real lot of bullets out here. And people like joke and kick you high about different sports and shit.

But like, just think about football. If LeBron's son was, let's say LeBron was a running back and his son was, who he is now in basketball, was coming to play football, He would never play. No. Because he'd get killed. He'd get killed, right. As far as, I'm talking about compact collision. The football is way different than any sport, bro.

Feels like a car accident, right, when you get hit? It's just live bullets. For real, motherfuckers playing for job. And I know all the teams I played on and I've been captains of the defense. We ain't helping nobody up. And we are really out there trying to demolish people. Yeah.

Who was the hardest guy for you to tackle? If there was one, I know you could tackle anybody, but was there one that was like, if I had to put this guy is tough to get down, who was it? I would say Ricky, Ricky Williams. It's like a little muscle. Yeah, he was a muscle. I won't say nobody with Pittsburgh.

Pittsburgh had a good running back a couple years, but I would say Ricky Williams. Ricky Williams, yeah. Did you, yeah, Derrick Henry, you guys overlap? No? Yeah, I played against Derrick Henry. Yeah, is he? He seems tough to get down.

I mean, that's. Yeah, but like, you can hit Derrick Henry low. Ricky Williams is like, don't matter how low you get, he's gonna get down there with you. He's gonna keep going. Saquon would probably be hard to tackle too. Saquon, like, that's a better match for me. Like maybe for a taller guy or somebody like that.

Like my pad level. You can hit him hard. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because the cornerbacks are coming flying and the safety, I mean that is wild. Like high speed collision Yeah, hard like when a receivers over the middle extended his arms. I mean Jesus Christ. Yeah, I got a good question Who's the best white quarterback of all time white cornerback? Yeah, there's only one Jason Seahorn, right? That's right

I think that's it. Why is this on one though? Yeah, I think there's only one. Yeah, so I guess that's him We only have one and then we got one up for real and then you got Christian McCaffrey is the one white running back That's it. Yeah. So I guess that's him. We only have one and then we got one. No, for real. And then you got Christian McCaffrey is the one white running back. That's it. Yeah, well, John. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What else do we got? John Riggins.

My boy was good though. He played with me with the Bengals and played with the Patriots out of Wisconsin. Damn, what's his name? Oh, what? Not Wes Welker. What was Wes Welker? No, he was a receiver.

Running back. The only other thing I can think of, John Riggins from receiver. Running back. The only other thing I can think of, John Riggins from the Redskins. The only other thing I can think of. I mean, to me it's just McCaffrey. Ah, I can't think his name. What, 33? Who the hell is it, Jesse?

White running back, Patriots. Bengals, you play with Bengals and Patriots. Patriots and Bengals. Let's see, there's only gonna be one. And you asked me, do I ever forget people names? Right. There's James White. No, yeah. James White. He said play for Wisconsin. No, it's not James White, but the name. Okay. Caitlin Clark. Not Caitlin Clark. Rex. Rex Burkhead. Yeah. Rex Burkhead was a fucking dog. Yeah

Look at him right there. Yeah, that guy Rex Burkhead. Yeah, there it is. Rick's was good. Rick's probably He's probably by far the best White white running back that up. Yeah in person, right? Yeah McCaffrey obviously the yeah Yeah, right and then shout out John Riggins. He played for the Reds That's about an old school guy. Yeah, well we need more Oh Frank Gifford, yeah, but what would you rather have would you rather have a white running back or a black field goal kicker? Yeah, how come there's no black field goal kicker. There should be there's one black punter was on the way. Why? It's like doing surgery. It's like brain surgery being a fucking kicker.

You guys don't want that pressure. You got the pressure of it, dude. So did you ever like say anything to a kicker when he missed? Like, hey, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So guys are tough on the kicker if you miss. Yeah.

You'll go kick. I can't speak for everybody else, but. You ever slap one? No, I ain't never slapped one but I've. It's like. Mike Nugent missed a big kick with us when we was with the Bengals and I just couldn't hold it. I just fucking went off like motherfucker,

you got one job to do and Mike is my boy too. Yeah. And he was really quick. What was his response? Was he like sorry? He left, he just heard him and get out of there. Yeah, he just, yeah I I mean, that must be. It is pressure, man.

It is. Imagine, like, yeah, you. And it's pressure, cause yo' ass in there playing ping pong while we in meetings and shit, like, the kickers don't do shit, bro. They just kick, they don't have to be at any of those meetings and practice. Do they, can they get to practice?

They had the team meeting and special team meeting. So, so let me ask you again. What is the point of the field goal in the game of football? Like, bro, that, that, that's the problem. The games. Yeah.

But that's the problem. Don't you think that you think it's a problem? Like I, I hope they stop fucking with the game. Let's put the fucking kickoff back to where it was. I don't have no problem with you backing the kickoff five yards. We want more returns as a returner. I want more returns. Cool with that.

But all this shit, we up here, half line. It's a practice that. But all this shit, up here, half line, it's a practice drill. Yeah, I mean, what are they doing now? It's like a formality, it just starts at the 25. They're trying to ruin a good thing. I heard them saying that because Steph Curry has revolutionized the NBA, that they want to remove the three-point line.

I'm like, are you stupid? You should make a seven-point show. Pac-Man's gotta go. Oh, Pac-Man's gotta go. Oh, Pac-Man's gotta go? Who is it? Is it his wife or his PR? Because we're not listening to the PR, this fucking Pac-Man's gotta go. Oh, Pac-Man's gotta go. Who is it? Is his wife or his PR? Because we're not listening to the PR, this fucking white people. We're not listening to, this is what fucking Rex Burkhead's doing now.

Yeah, look at that. He's outside. He looks like a field goal kicker. Mrs. Pac-Man tells us to go, he's out of here. Yeah, but this fucking guy, no way. All right, fine. See you later Pac-Man. Where can people see you? Hey, you can catch me on everything, man. The Pac-Man Jones Show, right now I'm brought to you by betonline.ag, politely raw. We got good things going on, and we just, we talk about everything. I'll probably have a conversation about this interview today on the show, so.

Nice. Hell yeah. Also, he's a good follow, he's a great follow on the Gram. Oh yeah. Right. I love following him on the Gram. I be talking little shit on the Gram. You go crazy on the Gram. I like Gram, so follow him. Hey, yeah real Pac-Man 24 on the gram. Yeah, love it, bro Thank you, man. Thank you All right

Well Pac-Man Jones just left and Yanis wants to talk more about samurai because the kid is horned up I'm horny up and boy his hair like his hair was almost looked like he was a samurai He really looked great and I will tell you I mean you didn't see him We'll post a picture of it because we took a picture after. He's wearing a full sweater, he's wearing a sweater and then pants that are the same sweater material and they're bell bottoms like Kendrick Lamar. Yeah and they're like just dirty

because they're just sweeping the floor. It's almost like a skateboard. So what's happened now is with culture, this is why culture is wild and you can never predict anything, is that now cultural fashion for black men is now turning into women in the 70s. That's just what their fashion is becoming.

You would have never guessed that. Yeah. And it is interesting, you know. And baggy pants and Nazis are back. They're back. Nazis are huge right now. It is really, I mean, Nazis and baggy clothes are back is a good way to play. Go get yourself a suit from YouGoBoss to do a nice deal.

Yeah. The early 90s came back and so did the 40s. Yeah, it's just what- The 40s and the 90s are back. Are back, baby. Yeah, it's a mixture of the 40s and 90s. So what else did you wanna say about Samurais? Cause you're a goop. I'm a goop.

And I just, I think we just cap it off with a nice cherry on top to say that that is in the Japanese culture. And then when the gun came to- the Portuguese dirt bags, then the Japanese resist the Samurais resisted it because it was like a dishonorable way because you could kill from distance. But then then they gave in and then they became the biggest gunmaker on the they were making more guns than Europe than everybody made all these guns.

They made all these weapons. They just started making guns than Europe. They made all these guns. They made all these weapons. They just started making guns. Right. And they became militarized. And then that samurai thing was still in there though, because when they got the guns, they turned into a strong nation. They closed the borders, no foreigners. And it was a unified Japan.

And then they started attacking other places. Yeah. And they started attacking and They wanted to control they attacked Korea. They attacked China cuz and they were fucking dirtbags. They weren't nice They were dirtbags in World War two. They needed to be stopped dude, and that's the thing. They were brutal So I think the thing about the samurai is I wanted to mention is like we talk about the honor we talk about the code we talk about the honor, we talk about the code, we talk about that they were these high minded warrior poets and everything. But really at the end of the day, they were human like everybody else. Yes. And they were dirtbags and they went and they raped and they pillaged and then they went to China

and raped and pillaged. They went to Korea, they raped and pillaged, they killed, massacred children, everybody. And then World War Two comes and like you said, that samurai culture that was in the Japanese warrior code where they kill themselves. And that's what's so funny is these guys just use their own deaths as weapons. Yeah. Which is very funny. It's what it is. It's just they use their deaths as weapons and then they became, that samurai code became

kamikaze pilots. And they've been doing it honestly from the beginning of time that most cultures do. And a lot of the people when they started losing, the civilians, a lot of them would just kill themselves. Yeah. Because they'd rather, they just, it was honorable. There's footage that Americans got of just civilians jumping off cliffs. Yeah.

Because it's the Japanese way. And I think that's why Lexus is such a good car. Right. Because if they make a mistake, they feel more like they dishonored the company right and they just walk out a window That's why that's why the Japanese flag football team was able to beat the United States because they lose they kill themselves They kill themselves. It's just what is you just see him hanging from their bedrooms or flags around and that's why Lexus is a great Car do you think maybe we can like really bring great comedy back? Like if you bomb you just got gotta go walk out of a window.

Yeah, it's what it is. Samurai culture. Samurai culture. Yeah, so. Jesse's gotta go get a pen because we're about to read the Patreon names. Of course, at patreon.com slash history, Hihienas is where all the fun happens.

We got great episodes there. We brought back walk and talks. We're doing a lot of stuff at patreon.com slash history. Don't forget our live show. There's a live show up there. It was a great show. We did a Gotham comedy club that's up there. And you know what we're gonna start doing now we're gonna start live streaming our live shows because there's so much fun so if you can't get to our city the only way

you could see them is at patreon.com slash history hyenas and that's coming soon and here we go yeah you throw me the pen. Yeah and see me coming up in Rochester Cleveland and San Diego get your tickets at historyhyenasisback.com. Go over there, historyhyenasisback.com, for Yannis' dates, and then I got all my dates. I'm in Austin and Dallas and Houston in April. In Albany at the Egg, and I am in New Haven, Connecticut at College Street Music Hall.

Those are my April dates. And then September 11th, Mass at Square Garden, New York City, and then just check out all the dates. And then also, dude, we got some sweet merch up at historyhienesback.com, but the fun happens there and patreon.com slash history hyenas. Okay, here we go. Welcome to the matriarchy. We got Justin, DJ, then we got Fee, Flow, Fum, I'm the Finger, and Chrissy's Bum.

Nice. $3 bill for Black Blackstone grill. Okay. Like that. John Dylan, Homer Holloway Jr. Then we got Chrissy D. Peel back the fume hood on a muzzy's P and give it a kiss for me. Okay. Then we got Biden's secretary of transsexual defense.

If Donnie wasn't busy building the fence. Drexler. Good one. Drexler. Good one. Kevin Hoenicki. Then we got P smaller than Yanni's unibrow. Okay, okay, okay.

Yanni Cyclopapus, sounds like a drug. Good try, yeah. Put me on the list or fill my booty with your fist. We're gonna put that on the list. Okay, we got our first list. You're on the list. That guy's got a leaky roof. Vinky Stagina.

Sticky vagina. Like that. Then we got Aniline's lipstick covered cig from Finland. Last on the list, yeah. I like, shout out to our Finnish fans. Yeah, yeah. Donnie T's and Lada 14, Donnie T sent Lada 14 to Gaza. and ladder 14 Donnie T send ladder 14 to Gaza.

Oh, it's a Drexler. It's a funny one though. Uh, very funny. Laugh back. Then we got blonde hair, blue eyes. Where's my Hugo boss. Okay. Hey, it's a Nazi one. Yeah.

Uh, then we got Barney rubble as my hall pass. Somebody wants to bag my dad. Drexler. Drexler. Chicken finger more. By the way, shout out to the fans in Tampa and Orlando who came out to my shows. Tampa Tony was in the building and he really appreciates the- Someone took a picture of him, snuck a picture of him.

People took multiple pictures of him. He was taking pictures outside Tampa and Orlando and I really appreciate that and thank you to whatever fan bought him new compression socks. He really appreciates that. So then we got Saka Jowya, AKA Lewis and Clark's emotional support native. Then we got, let's build a new Panama Canal between Yanni's eyes.

That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. Not for the list though, right? Or what do you think? What do you think? That's a good one. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, let's list it. That's a good one. Yeah, okay. Yeah, let's list it. That's a good one. No. Must separate my eyes with a canal. Yeah, I like that. I like that. It's actually not a bad idea to think about for the future.

Yeah. Michael Blum, Cole Harris, then we got Ari's Hemorrhoid Death Battle. Okay. Taylor Hall, Crystal G, then we got Small Dick, Come Quick, it's what it is. Chicken Finger. Yeah. Then we got Barack is a UCF because of Michelle's BBC namin.

Okay. I met Chrissy and Frank Lee, he gay. Frank Lee, he's gay. Frank Lee, he's gay, got it. All right, like that. More of a fact. Okay. Then we got bidets for the table

so we can pee on our chest. Bidets for the table, isn't it? Close. Because I say every time I get water in my body. Yeah, you pee in your jacket. Right, so that's what they're saying the day is. Okay, I like it. Then we got hold me closer, Tony Danza tongue my fart box on the guy way.

Like a highway? Okay. J-9099. Then we got Starlink connecting me to Yanni's Hiny hole. Funny. Then we got mixing creatine with electrolytes and committing suicide. Okay.

All right. All right. Want to call for help? Yeah. XM10, Rebecca Diaz, John Cena's Mandarin instructor, AKA Zhijun Pyoing. It's really funny. I'm going to direct you to that.

That's really funny. Then we got Harriet Tubman's underground glass table party. I don't get that. I don't know. All right. But thank you. Yeah. Tullockman's Underground Glass Table Party. I don't get that. I don't know. All right, but thank you. Yeah. Tullock Brown, Joe F. Simmons. Then we got Indian Jones and his Temple of Fumes. Put them on the list. Put them on the list. Put them on the list. Like Indiana Jones and Temple of Doom. Temple of Doom. This is very good. Yeah.

Yudai Sawa, Carlitos. Then we got Paint and Puff, Daddy Leroy. Daniel Techart, Ladder 69. Then we got Tim Dillon and Yanni's trans daughter. I guess like if you guys had a trans daughter, okay? Anthony, Dale Roeberds, Milkman, Tevin, Bryce Mitchell's fishing buddy. That's funny, because Bryce Mitchell, he's an MMA fighter and he hates Jews. But so yeah, that's funny.

Okay. Andrew Taint. Andrew Taint is a chicken. Chicken finger. Cash Patel cab smell. Did we walk into one? Is it on the list? Walked into one, but again, it's one of those.

It's like the oven Dodger. I mean, it's a, but you walk into one. What do you want to do here? I want to list them. Okay. I'm going to list them. Yeah. All right.

Then we got throwing frisbees out of a chimney is 1945. Wow. Can't do that. Walked into one. That is not okay. Good one. That's not okay though. Not okay.

That one we can't say. Can, we can't do that one. Then we got the UCF recruiter. Chris, your card was declined. Please call us back ASAP. Okay. Okay. That's a funny one. Yeah.

Then we got, make no mistake, at the end of the day, I got fumes. It's what it is. Cause taint fumes cause my clit is bigger than my dick. Katie Crane, Long Island sauce monkey. Chris, he was a toot for Hey Bay, but now he know gay bay. Okay. Walker Cotton, Josh Rout, Kyle O'Grady,

Alex Perez, make no mistake, I have a Beaner Weiner. If he just did Beaner Weiner. That would have been good. That would have been a great chicken finger. There we go. I bleed red, white, and blue, but I lean white. Okay. Slumpy crump.

Okay. Chris Hegelston, Tammy the X2 ready to get cracked open and cleaned out after I finished my shift. Me and you drinking brews, eating Netanyahu's Jew glue stew. It's a good one. Drexler. Okay. Uh, then we got Yadav Yitler, touched my snitzler and cooked me all thexler. Okay. Then we got Yadof Yitler touched my Snitzler

and cooked me all the way through. Okay. Whoa, walk into one. But Yadof Yitler's funny. That's where you cut it for yay. Yeah. Then we got Nico Franks and Beans Harrison. Guess that's the name of the map.

Yeah, well that's more of a fact. Fact, yeah. What an asshole. That guy needs security. I mean that's bad. Because that guy. I know Kyrie's out. I mean it's bad. Everyone's done. They have to forfeit games. Yeah. I think, that's bad. Because that guy's. And now Kyrie's out, I mean it's bad.

Everyone's done. They have to forfeit games. Yeah. I think they're gonna have to forfeit games because they don't have enough players. Are you, is that an actual fact? Yes, yes, that's a fact. Saw you in DC but I'd rather see you in me,

call me Chrissy D. Dylan King, Francisco Ruiz. Then we got your sausage linky and my Buddha chedge is a coink a coinkie dinky. Okay. Adam French, Clark Shyninsky, half Greek full fumes. It's what it is cause Chrissy votes red. Yanni votes blue. Schultz isn't black, but he might be a Jew. It's a high coup.

It's a good Drexler. Huff in the situations muff. Now that's box. Okay. Walk into one cannot dispatch that family. And we, that is not okay. We won't stand for that. It's box breathing. Yeah. It into one. Okay, walk into one. Cannot disparage the family. That is not okay. We won't stand for that.

He said it's box breathing. Yeah, it's just what it is, cuz. And yeah. Can't do it. Can't do it. Then we got RFQD, please don't ban baked zootie, hashtag sauce monkey. Sean Brewer, Andrew Garland. Then we got last name Kaminsky, make no mistake, Jack the Ripper is my uncle.

Nick Brockmeyer, Salsa Monkey, Trump 2024, my dad's gone. Um, Kay, Charmaine Childs, white power button. It said a power bottom. Oh, he said white power bottom. Yeah. I misread. I'm sorry about that. Bad read.

Yeah. Kaylin Crawford, Mikhail Gorgeouscock. Instead of Gorbachev, that's beautiful. I like that. Circuit finger. Circuit finger. Miltv, that's beautiful. I like Drunken Finger. Miltz, Anthony Dejas. Chrissy is so into meat, he has Tim Dylan Beat. Joshy Washi, Nutty Woody. Rafael Salgado.

Cuban with the Leaky Glue Gun, aka the Cuban Missile Crisis. It's good. Thomas Arthur, Adrian, then we got Great White's Pyro Guy. Alexis Ferguson. Qwerty. Jewie Lewis and the Fumes. good good Thomas Arthur Adrian then we got great whites pyro guy okay Lexis Ferguson QWERTY, Dewey Lewis and the Fumes that's great what do we think that's great yeah I'm gonna put it on the list okay Dewey Lewis and the Fumes is

funny like it yeah Kenneth Bishop trans porn matters Drexler chicken finger more then we got Chrie's prostate versus Yanni from back in the day. Okay. Then we got you're going to love my nuts, no choice because Slap Chop is back. Okay. Connor, Max, Fumilous Joe Jackson, which we've had before, but it is a good one. Yeah, it's a good one. Lauren, then we got Obama is a muzzy who drowned the chef in clumsy.

Okay. Funny funny Alex Garcia, then we got promethazine Paul Bunyan Parker Venus Anthony Ortega Victor Oquendo Matthew looking for glue from a fumey Jew peepee poo poo bootazo Page then we got oops glue to my mouth didn't spit it out. Does that make me gay? Yeah, a little bit yeah more no more self-love. Okay. Yeah. Hunter straw, Chris, candy, then we got dead ass, yai-yas, cookies, make my peen tingle and leaky. Jose Barrera, then we got hyenas eat free on Tuesdays but you need to check your glue guns at the door, one in oopsie daisy 69.

My wife is a haggis monkey, her fumes smell like Mellie Gibbs and when she comes she screams freedom. That's a Scottish joke. Yeah. Yeah. Protect me on the train, I need science to fix that. Oh, that's a Marisa joke. Okay.

Nicole and Kayla Franklin, Joshua Glittle, Bear Brum, Emery, Victor McCoy, Kevin Flamer, Samuel Batters, Sage Archibald, Fumesane Bolt, Beef Patty Monkey. Fumesane Bolt would have been good. These guys gotta edit yourself. I'll give you a chicken finger honorary for Fumesane Bolt, that's good. Priya Sethi, Bobby Mack, went to Tim Dillon's

for game night, we played Twink Twister. Funny, you gotta edit. Tim Dillon's, what is it, Twink Twister? That would have been on the list. Tim Dillon's Twink Twister would have made it. That would have made it. Yeah. Dan Gleesack, Nathan McCarroll, Noah Woodruff, Daniel, Mike Murphy, Three Inches Deep and

One Finger and the Stinker, Big Nuts, Bill Hangelsbaughn, Marty Vorachuk, Rogan's Dick. Wei Songxian. I can'tan's dick. Way Song Shi. I can't walk that one. Alright, one more page. And by the way guys, we are almost caught up on the Patreon names. That's how supportive you guys are. Patreon.com says history. It took us three months to catch up, so we really appreciate the support. And when we catch up, we'll start reading all the names again.

Yes. Yojangles, one of Jerry's kids, not my father's name, but that's what he called me. I'm a Franks and Beans kid, Jerry Lewis, Brandon Towell, Peter Lara, Puerto Ricans are just Mexican Islanders. It's what it is. Okay. I'm a Fumi girl in a Fumi world, life in plastic.

It's fantastic. Mark Runzitti, UK sauce monkey. Oh wow. I got a fucking Italian kid in the UK. Yeah. Grayson, two knuckles in and now my pee turned white Drippy stiffy spark that spliffy Uh, drippy, Stiffy, Spark, that's spliffy. Uh, pop us getting second while Chrissy plays hummus cannon.

Okay. Joe Giordano, sir, the muzzy wuzzies hit the second tower. Drexler, dog Drexler, Taffy nips, Dave on Dixon. Then we got Sandusky shower fun time. Ooh, that's a, that's a, I can't do that. Can't do that one. Christos, Nicholas Wasner, Yanni Suzuki-Turrett, Emily Claire Tattoo, Sleepy Joe 20, Lewis Christian,

Patrick, Robert Lucursi, wife just left and she's, hold on, wife just left and she, Cocka Hoops, I can't read this one, wife just left and she cock, she cock-a-hoops to M&M, little cock-a-tooter too, I'm sorry, that was just, I can't, I think you might have had a typo there. Someone just learned English recently. Yes, Kaylin, then we got Ikea Monkey with a Honduran wife and our Ubermensch son.

Ikea Monkey again. Is what, are you saying you're Swedish? Yeah, he's Swedish. That's funny. I like it for a Swedish to call him Ikea Monkey. That would've worked. That would've worked. Yeah.

Cave Diver in Pelosi's Tits. Amnir Madariah, Nathan Bramhall, Petey Bones, Christopher Lopez, Jordan Feewox, Damian Rodriguez, I Scream for Boyz Cream. Oh boy. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Amelia Airport.

Amelia Airport? That's Chicken Finger. Chicken Finger, that's a good one. That's a good one. Drunion88, Half Sauce Monkey, Half Diner Monkey with no fumes, Vinny Troiano, Owen Harris, Joe O, Gecko, Brian Millen, Sal Monela, Alex Harrison.

Sal Monela's funny chicken finger. Then we got Dirty Harry Sanchez who gave Helen of Troy a Cleveland steamer and kicked out of ancient Rome for inventing the Coliseum. Okay. All right. I mean we got two more pages. Should we just finish this off today? Should we just be done?

And then we're caught up? And then we're caught up. That's from a few weeks ago. That ago. Oh, so we're still... But I'm saying, but like we should get through these. Oh yeah. Yeah. All right. So if you guys can hold on for two more minutes, let us just get... And there might be, by the way, there might be Hall of Famers. That's the good news about this list is anyone who's saying on Patreon or YouTube, get rid of the list. You're out of your fucking mind. This is the show. Okay, here we go. Is this kid Shane Todd here?

Tell him he's gotta hold on one second. One second, one second. Shane Todd's here. Shane Todd, great Irish comedian from Belfast is coming on this Patreon. All right, Garrett Garman, B McQueen, Giovanni Diaz, Horny Gourney, the pierogi monkey, Father Bill is Duncan, his trussle in my sphincter,

Neo, David Gutierrez, Jose Rodriguez, Blumpkin Fumesies confuse me. XMS International, switch my Patreon from RE Garbage to y'all. Zion Pharma, slang and sledge. 28, still use my glue gun as, okay. 28, I still use my glue gun as a periscope in the tub. It's what it is.

It's funny. Okay. Piss Jennings, Power Stroker, Leroy Frisbee, Richard Bia, Blue Pizza New York, screwed in. Jack's Knight, Alexander the Straight. Alexander the Straight? Yeah. Chicken Finger. Chicken Finger.

Ceylon, Jack's Knight, Luke Martin, Lewis Verduzco, Tripp Windham, Robert Sasseman, Dagwood Dusseldorf, your friendly neighbor slut fucker, I have the clap. Nick Ravine, Aidan Sullivan, Elon's Red Rocket gave me German name, Elon's Red Rocket gave me a German salute in the poop shoot. Hitler's great grandson, and make no mistake,

I will carry on the bloodline. Yeah. Darcy, Tom Franco, J.S. Carr, Matthew Cornea, Pseudo-Falus in my anal palace, Anthony Bundick, Ken Robbins, Ben Papa George, Jose Clinton, Andy Rose, Chico, Matt Bradley, Liam Clark, Amy Stifler, Tarif Trump, Daniels, My Dad Survived Tower 2, but the Kid Still Covered His Eyes

When Two Guys on Netflix Start to Make a Sex Flick. What about the list? What about the list? What it is, it's just the truth. It's a funny one. Fauci Made My Asshole Go Ouchy, it. What it is, it's just the truth. It's a funny one. Fauci made my asshole go ouchy, it's what it is. Father Bill needs a blue pill for his Pisha deal. Herschel Golden Steinberg, the screwed in Uden.

Louis Pantaleon, I leave the microwave on around my eastern Hemi roommate as a reminder. Put them on the list. So see, we got two lists on the last page here. Yeah. Awkward place between Hey Babe and History Hyenas. Drexler. Samantha Hunt, Daniel Ligar Hagmeister, Aidan with the centimeter Peter keep that thing on my keep that thing on me, Sarah Goody, Lou Scunt, Our Border is like your mom's box it needs to be tightened. Okay? Okay. Alexander the great $3 bill aka Magic Johnson's infected glue gun.

Okay. Okay, walked into one. John Daly, Nehar Patel, Epstein's Guy Land, Frothing and space docking, Chrissy D, a memoir, Fupa Cabra, S.L.O.K.S. Like chupa cabra, Fupa Cabra, nice. Caitlin Fisher, Chrissy D, Anyani P, but my girl one titty. Buy my girl one titty, I'll buy my girl one titty. Sorry about that. Maybe we can, Zachariah Leahy, Pedro Lairos, Natalie Faron, Tyler Hathaway, Stephanie Simmons,

Scandal Carlson, Younger Guy, Ask Impact Theory, Pamela Anderson, Bidet Nozzle POV. Okay fine. Yeah that's hilarious. Yeah that's hilarious. Yeah. UCF with the wife and kids, it's what it is. It's a lot of us. Wes, Zach Alder, Christian, Donnie T got elected so the Leroy's are going to need bail. Okay. Josh Archer, Chrissy's cuck chair Chronicles, Fuzzy Wuzzy Cousy's fuddy body filled my hubby with cummies. Arlene Dooley, Spud Monkey, David Marquez, Rander Amos, Hitler Vader, the ass-eating masturbator 69. Father... Didn't need the 69 there. Yeah. Father Bill's favorite ball player, Jock, let me see your Peter, son.

Okay. A, Habibi Netanyahu, Lily, Pat Mays, Mike Dewar, my piece produces glue when Chrissy takes off a shoe, Gai Zhanxin. Gai Zhanxin on its own would have been great. Yeah. Okay, and last but not least, Half half of the small was a Hot Pocket. Wow. Wow. Wei Song Shi.

Yeah, that is not okay. Breath. All right, all right, so here we go. Yeah, we gotta do it, okay. All right, let's do it. This kid's got a heart out of 230. This kid's got a heart out of 230. All right, so let's go, here we go.

Let's read these names. Okay, so we got, Joey Lewis and the Fumes, two knuckles in, now my pee turned white. Okay, Joey Lewis and the Fumes is gonna be Drexard, good any other day for Joey Lewis and the fumes two knuckles in now my pee turned white hey Julie Lewis on the fumes is gonna be Drexler good any other day all right for Julie Lewis in the fumes yeah so they're out Drexler Drexler out two knuckles in now my pee turned white tender okay my dad survived tower two but the kids still covered his eyes when two guys on Netflix start to make a sex flick funny but you're

Drexler you're Drexler down, but it is funny. Yeah, I leave the microwave on around my Eastern Hemi roommate as a reminder We're gonna Drexler. Okay, that's a good one though Pamela Anderson bidet nozzle POV contender contender. Yeah, that is still in yeah and Turned white is still in. Okay, so then we got cash Patel cab smell. It's a contender. Okay, so that is still in. Okay, so then we got Cash Patel Cab Smell. It's a contender. Okay, so that is still in. Okay, then we got Put Me On The List or Fill My Booty With Your Fist.

We're gonna Drexler that. Okay, Anilene's Lipstick Colored Sig from Finland. We're gonna Drexler it. Let's build a new Panama Canal between Yanni's eyes. Good one, we're gonna Drexler it. Drexler. Indian Jones and His eyes. Good one. We're going to Drexler. Drexler. Indian Jones and his Temple of Fumes. We're going to Drexler. Okay. So that page is out. So the three are Pamela Anderson's Badae Nozzle POV,

two knuckles in, and now my pee turned white or Cash Patel Camp Smell. It's a tough one again. They're all tough. This one's tough. Who do we got? Who do we got? This one I'm going to need help with. Okay.

Yeah. I'm going to say if I had to take it all, I would say just because it made me really think I would say Two Knuckles In and Now My P Turns White. Okay. That's what you like? Paulie, your cum white pee is very funny. I like- And I've never heard it.

Yeah. I like Pamela Anderson's bidet POV. Oh, so we'll agree Cash Patel, Cavsmell is out. Yeah, but yeah. Cav, and I've never heard it. Yeah, I like Pamela Anderson's bidet POV. Oh, so we'll agree, Casper, tell Casper Mel is out. Yeah, but yeah, Casper, it's a good one though. Any other day, yeah. I wish she didn't use Pamela Anderson, it just went bidet nozzle POV. Right.

That's just funny. So bidet nozzle POV. On its own. On its own is fun, so does that get him in a tight race? Does that then give it to two knuckles in an MIP turned white? Yeah, we're gonna get to that guy. so you are the winner go to history and is his back calm see you name up my lights you are the PPW Pseudo penis of the week two knuckles in an MIP turned white all right chicken finger victory that's it