History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - Hot Money War w/ China
Episode Date: April 10, 2025Yannis and Chris dive into the wild ride that is the history of American tariffs…spoiler alert: it’s been messy. Then they fast-forward to the Trump Tariffs, breaking down the best-case, worst-cas...e, and total-chaos-case scenarios. This it’s a hot money war, cuz! Will it work? Well, they tell you. Support our sponsors: Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://bluechew.com! Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code HYENAS -- just pay $5 shipping. Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code HYENAS at https://shopmando.com! #mandopod #comedy #Podcast #History Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas/ Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit.ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0 Hyenas Merch!!! https://teespring.com/stores/historyhyenas Follow us Cuz! 🙆🏻♂️ Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ 🙆🏼♂️ Chris Distefano Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ 🐕More Hyenas Website: www.historyhyenasisback.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/historyhyenas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HistoryHyenas Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/historyhyenaspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello everyone, my name is Yonis Pappas and I'm joined by my co-host Christopher DiStefano
We're two Christian kids wearing Christian hats gonna talk about tariffs.
Tariffs, we're coming to you live from China because that's where it's safe
We're gonna talk to you tell you the history of tariffs
We're gonna speed up all the way into what's happening in present-day America and we're just two
Kids who are really not that smart but really not that America and we're just two kids who are really not
that smart but really not that dumb and we're going to break down tariffs and how it affects
you and you personally.
Smart or dumb is really a matter of opinion.
That's what it is.
So depending on your intellectual capabilities, you'll be watching this going, you're smart
or you're dumb.
And it's what it is and we-
If you're watching this from China, you're going to go, they're dumb. They're dumb. If you're watching this from China, you're going to go, they're dumb.
They're dumb.
You're watching this from America.
You're going to go, these are smart kids.
Here's what I could tell you.
Absolutely 100% with 100% certainty right now is that this will not be on the Tik Tok
in China, but it will be on the Tik Tok in the United States.
It absolutely will be.
And can we just stop beating around the bush when you look at all the Ivy league schools,
which are our finest institutions,
I mean, Chinese kids to Ivy League are black kids to the NBA.
It's what it is.
It's just what they do.
It's what it is.
And I'm going to tilt this in honor
of our African-American brothers till the morning.
I was going to say, because I'm wearing a jacket
that a 50-year-old black man who grew up in the Bronx
probably has.
So I want to tip that down and just wear it like that.
That jacket looks like you're a black guy asleep on the train at two in the morning.
It's what it is. That's the jacket he'd be wearing. Now here we go.
Talk to me.
We got two economists sitting here.
Yeah, I just want to sit down and tell you, because here's the thing is tariffs.
I know that it's probably the first time people are hearing about them because of what's going
on in the US economy.
I want to tell you though that they've been around for a while.
Okay?
Do you know who had the very first half who created the very first half?
Your favorite Dominican, Alexander Hamilton.
Alexander Hamilton, everyone's favorite Dominican
from the play Hamilton, he, when he was alive in 1790s,
he actually was the one who instituted the tariff
because back then there was no federal taxes.
You did not get taxed by the government.
The only way for the government to make money
was a little thing we like to call a tariff.
That's why he did that.
And what he was thinking about was
we had just went into a war with the British.
Don't mind me, I'm just on my ox.
That's it, yes.
I think Chinese like to write ox when they do agriculture.
He was on the war.
We had just fought with the British
and he had said to them,
he had said, we don't wanna deal with the British anymore.
We don't wanna buy any of their tea
or their textiles or anything.
We wanna make things here at home.
He was the first guy to say, it all starts here.
You know what he was the first guy to do?
Make America great again.
He was the first guy.
Yeah, a lot of people don't know that there wasn't even
a federal income tax until 1913.
Yeah, that's the truth.
Everything was about states, states' rights.
So this whole idea, and by the way, we're gonna talk to you, I'm gonna
get to you where this whole idea of states rights come from. It comes
from a little thing called the tariff of abomination, which reminds me of Joe
DeRose's vile horrendous, which I heard him talking about on a podcast this week,
and it's disgusting. Just go Google Joe DeRose's vile horrendous. But so let me
tell you something real quick, because basically in the 1790s, we needed
money to pay off the debt because we borrowed a lot of money from the French kids to help
us beat the British.
Yeah.
So we're going to make things here and like true fashion.
See, a lot of people think the Civil War just came out of nowhere and a lot of people blame
it on slavery and that is a huge part of it because in the 1790s in with Alexander Hamilton
when he said tariffs and he's going to increase the the prices of exports coming from British
and all these other countries because he wanted the United States or the 13 colonies at the time
to make their own products it really favored the north and not the south because the south said yeah
but you know what guy the south said this they know what, guy? We need cotton and other things
because we gotta have these slaves doing their work.
So you guys up in the North,
you don't really need the things that we need.
And Alexander Hamilton said, shut up.
Yeah, it's just very interesting to be wearing these things
because the size of your head,
that just looks like a normal hat.
It just looks like a, yeah.
And for me, it's just probably just engulfing my head.
I just look like a rice ball on a plate right now.
And here's the thing is we the reason why we have these hats on is just in
case we do lose the trade war because we will eventually tell you we will get to
the part where we tell you that this is actually just a tariff on China. This is
just a war with China. Other countries are involved but really it's
not about that it's about China so just in case we do lose the trade war I just want there to be evidence in Shanghai right now
I want Gigi John ping-ping to just see me and Yanni with these hats on and know that we're communist cuties
I would I am ready to be a farm worker
yeah in the
agrarian land of China and
Chris did get these hats on Amazon right before they cost
$340.
Yes!
And unfortunately the string already broke and we didn't even hug on it or anything.
But that's essentially a good metaphor and example of what's been going on since China joined the WTO.
Yes.
Is that they've just been making cheap shit and we've just been buying their shit.
That's what it is. The World Trade Organization Organization Which we'll get to in a moment, but here's the thing cuz is all
At back in the day when Hamilton had these tariffs
It was just about America being number one and the problem is is no matter how much you want to slice it
We are all in this together as human beings and even though I love this country and I am red white and blue to the day
I die when you start to get a little it it's called protectionism, when you just want
to protect your own country's rights and all that and manufacturing
stuff, the other countries get cut out and everybody begins to lose. Yeah. And
this is what started to happen. So, Alexander Hamilton started to lose and they
taxed the foreign goods, especially the manufacturing ones, and Hamilton wanted to make these American-made products
even better, but then everything just started to go down
and people started to get mad,
and it led to the War of 1812.
Did this have anything to do with the reason
that Bill Burr shot him?
Yeah, Bill Burr did shoot him,
and Bill Burr was sitting in these seats
right before you got here.
Bill Burr was in the podcast.
The Murderer of Alexander Hamilton?
Yeah, what it, man.
So here's the thing is, like I said, the South really opposed, this is Alexander Hamilton
right here, yes, he's the Dominican man.
The South really opposed these tariffs because they relied on imported goods and exported
raw materials like cotton and tobacco because that's what their slaves were there for, that's
what they were working with.
So they saw the tariffs as benefiting the North and not the South.
So that was a problem.
So here's the thing is I want to just, I wrote a little charty thing.
Let's want to read from this for a second.
A charty thing.
A charty thing.
I love charty things.
Yeah, a little charty thing.
So you get a star.
I want just like my daughter, I'm giving you a star for writing a charty thing.
So here's the differences because people say, oh, Alexander Hamilton did tariffs, so he's
on the $10 bill.
He's a Dominican kid.
I saw his play.
And my brother's on the $3 bill.
And your brother's on the $3 bill.
Exactly.
So that maybe tariffs aren't so bad, but here's the differences.
So the purpose of Alexander Hamilton's tariffs were to generate revenue because, like I said,
they had no federal income tax, and protect new industries.
The modern era, we're using tariffs right now
really for trade leverage and national security.
A big thing that the people are not talking about
in the economy, what Donny T said,
why he's instituted these tariffs,
because he believes it's a national security issue,
because a lot of fentanyl is getting into
the Canadian-Mexican border.
Now, is that a cover?
Probably, but he's still saying it.
But here's the other reason. So also rates. Hamilton by today's standards his rates
were pretty high. Five to fifteen percent with higher rates on luxury goods. Right
now the tariffs typically 1.5 to 5 percent but they can spike like with the
China tariffs because here's the other thing to not forget baby gorgeous is
Trump in his first term went to a trade war with China and
instituted many tariffs on China and then what did they respond with?
Not it yeah, 2000 2018. He started trade war with China and 2019
They exported something that we could not power. Yeah, maybe we're gonna have to edit that part out
You are trying not to be demonetized, but make no mistake, in Shanghai, we started putting tariffs on them and they started releasing the bat.
So it's just what it is. It's one of those coinkie things. It's a coinkie thing that
makes you go, hmm. So you kind of wonder what are they going to do now? Yeah. What's coming
down? But that's why we have these hats on. We are protected. Yeah, who knows what's coming now, but it doesn't matter because everyone's focused
on Israel.
Yeah!
So, so in Hamilton's era, the focus of the tariffs was manufacturing imports from Britain.
That was kind of still the enemy.
Today it's electronics, auto, steel, agriculture, goods, everything China makes.
And then the dependence on the tariffs.
So tariffs were the main...
Hold on a second.
I just got a message on my phone.
Yeah. It says stop talking about China, you two second. I just got a message in my phone. Yeah.
It says, stop talking about China YouTube and income poops.
Okay.
Yeah.
Sorry.
They make these folks.
Sorry.
Yeah.
They make everything.
Dependence on tariffs.
So tariffs were the main source of federal income in Hamilton's day, like I said.
And today, it's really for income...
Our main source of income are income tax and payroll tax.
So...
I thought it was only fans feet picks.
That's what I was gonna say.
A lot of it is only fans feet picks.
And of course, patreon.com slash history hyenas
is what's supporting the US economy at the moment.
I thought we were a podcast economy
and Andrew Schultz has us all believing we can do it too.
We can do it.
Okay, so this leads to the war of 1812.
A lot of people don't like the war of 1812
because they don't want to admit that we lost to the British.
That's the one we lost.
But we did get the Star-Spangled Banner out of it.
Yeah, we did.
And you know what?
Listen, the battle was lost, but the war was won.
Yeah.
Because look at their tiny little country
and look at our big little country.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Okay, so this leads us to the Tariff of 1828,
also known as the Tariff of Abominations.
So in come my boy, Andrew Jackson.
Yes.
Yeah, the man on the $20 bill.
The man on the $20 bill who had a little thing
for not being too fond of the Indians.
Yeah, it's just what it is, he didn't like them,
but here's the thing, even though his vice president
was John C. Calhoun.
Now, John C., the big thing with the Tariff of Abominations
is South Carolina.
Oh, and Calhoun hated blacks.
Yeah, he did.
Let's just break it down and say it as is,
is that our founding fathers didn't like blacks
or Native Americans.
They just didn't like them.
It's just something that they had in them,
and Calhoun was a biggie, biggie, biggie of that.
Yeah, and if you saw a man with a hat like this
in Andrew Jackson's time,
you know what he had in his right hand?
Dynamite.
Way song shi-y. But it is. So here's the thing. So the tariff of abominations, a hat like this in Andrew Jackson's time, you know what he had in his right hand? Dynamite!
So here's the thing. So the tariff of abominations, what basically it is, is they have the federal government institutes sky high tariff rates. They really lean in now. They say, you know what?
45%. Tariff! There's just tariff. And the North North and because they want to protect the northern factories
So they're saying we want to make sure that the north is okay in the south they explode
They say listen, we're important goods exporting cotton and now we got to pay massive markups with no local benefit
We want to secede
So even though the Civil War is not for another 30 40 years, South Carolina says we're succeeding now
That's a great point because you know behind everything is money. Money, money, money, money, money.
Right.
So here's what led to South Carolina's meltdown is John C.
Calhoun, who was the vice president of Andrew Jackson at the time awkward.
He's basically sit telling South Carolina, you know what?
You should succeed.
You should succeed.
Succeed.
You should succeed.
Yeah.
Sorry.
You should succeed.
You should succeed.
Get out of here.
And then Andrew Jackson's like, uh, hello, I'm the president.
Stupid.
You're my vice president. He was like, well, I'm the president, stupid. You're my vice president.
He was like, well, I'm siding with South Carolina
and he's the first vice president ever
and only to resign.
He just resigned in office because Andrew Jackson,
even though he's about states' rights
and does hate Native Americans
and pretty much anyone who's not white,
he is a federalist and he does love being the,
he loves having a central United States.
He wants a strong big country.
He's a federalist.
Yeah. He's not like John C. Calhoun, which is states rights. So all these states rights that
we're seeing even pop up today, it all really starts stemming from this. Yeah. Andrew Jackson,
the tariff of abominations. Basically, Calhoun was saying, you take him, you take him my slaves from
my cold dead hands. Yeah. And here's what, and here's the thing. Here's the thing with Andrew
Jackson, you know, he gets misunderstood. You know know Andrew Jackson in the tariff of abominations even though it would have been
better for Andrew Jackson to
Have the South secede and to to really to decrease the tariffs because he was a southern slaveholder
He said no, you know what? I'm thinking about my country first and my slave second and that's nice
first and my slave second and that's nice. And unfortunately back then it was just slaves were like, they were like Nike Air Force ones.
A lot of white women had them.
Yeah, it's just what it is.
So, there was a thing called the Nullification Crisis.
So the Nullification Crisis was basically kind of like leading to the Civil War where
John C. Calhoun resides as VP.
I told you he was on the South Carolina side and he's, oh, and here's another thing that John C.
Calhoun said was just a little thing where you're like, what? He said that slavery was good for both
races. So it's just, what can you do? What can you do? It's just the way the kid felt. So what happens is, Henry Clay is a guy who, Henry Clay not supposedly a racist, he comes up with the Compromise Tower of 1833, which he lowered rates.
He lowered the rates over the course of 10 years. He said, look, this is getting crazy. We are going to go into a civil war. So let me just lower the rates a little bit here and save everyone's life.
Because at that time, I mean, cuz make no mistake,
if you're getting a tower from 45%,
you're going to start killing people.
You're going to start killing people to the south of you.
So it's interesting to think just the north and south had
different economies, and then the tariffs really
accelerated the advantage of one over the other.
Yeah, it's just what it is.
And unfortunately, one of those economies was based on free human labor. Yeah, it's just what it is, you know. And unfortunately, one of those economies
was based on free human labor.
Yeah, it's what it is.
It's what it is.
So that was a big problem.
And then you have, of course, the Civil War then happens,
not, you know, obviously it's about slavery
and all these other things,
but it really has a lot to do with this.
That's seeded the North versus the South.
It started happening here with one side of the country
getting tariffed more and it affecting them more than another side
Of the country and you're starting to see well could that happen in today's tower for and I don't know it might so then
FDR here's the big thing then FDR comes in with the reciprocal trade right after Andrew Jackson right after Andrew Jackson in Andrew Jackson's
1832 this is 1934. She's got a hundred years of no problem so problems just go smooth sale no turbulence yeah
so uh... with uh... fdr fdr rolls into the picture guess he does
so fdr couple of the that lot of work
so he comes in and he's really the first president that says you know what we need
to start negotiating bilaterally with these countries cuz a lot of it was
a lot of it for years was just like you know what para we need to start negotiating bilaterally with these countries. Because a lot of it was, a lot of it for years
was just like, you know what, tariff on you,
you can suck my ass.
Where the night, where FDR comes in and says,
you know what, we're gonna put a tariff on you,
you know, Britain, China, but you,
let's have a discussion on, we'll trade you stuff,
and then you have to buy a certain amount
of stuff back from us.
And they started, so it wasn't even really about tariffs,
it was about, let's just have negotiations.
Let's just be cute and talk like human beings.
Yeah, let's sit down at the table and talk.
Yeah, and they would-
Let's work out a deal.
Let's work out a deal because here's one tariff that I do want to bring up that I do think
I've heard a lot of economists talking about how they think it could apply to today.
It's a little thing called the Smoot-Hawley Tariff.
Do you know about it?
Oh yeah, this is where things get interesting because we have a Great Depression that happens,
we have a Great Depression that happens, and then this happens.
Yeah, so the Smoot-Hawley tax, we're in the Great Depression, and when the Smoot-Hawley
tariff does, what they do is they really double down.
And what their thought process of the American powers that be at that time said, we're in
a Great Depression, we're losing everything.
Let's basically cut ourselves off from the rest of the world
and just make everything in here, squeeze everyone else out,
and make our people start pumping money into the economy
and buying American goods.
And it failed big.
That's the consensus.
I think most people think that that really accelerated
the depression.
You also had the Dust Bowl that happened. So it was an act of God. So what happened is Jesus Christ said, you know what,
we're a little mad at the United States for whatever reason. I don't know. We got to ask
your mom what happened. And he sent the dust ball. So the farms really dried up. And that's what sent
a lot of farmers west. Yes. And I think it was, it was a quadruple whammy. It was a quadruple whammy.
And then he sent, you know how like, um, and then he sent like in the Wizard of
Oz, you know, in the Wizard of Oz, they have like those, the, the flying monkeys,
like with the, the, they fly around with the, uh, guns in the movie.
Yeah.
So in world war two, he just sent the Japanese.
Just kidding.
Yeah.
Um, okay.
So the smooth, Hawley tariff. So what it did is it raised tariffs sky-high
prices, it isolated the US, it triggered trade wars, and it hurt US exports. And like I said,
a lot of people really genuinely think this made the Great Depression worse. And why I brought that
up today is because people think what Donnie T is doing right now with this new tariffs that
we're experiencing in present day, they think it could have a smooth,
holy effect and put us further into a recession
and cause big problems, but I say have no fear
because Donny T. knows what he's doing.
Yeah, that's the argument I've heard on the other side
is just I trust that guy.
So what happened with this tariff is much like
what you're seeing today.
The other countries retaliated and they put their own talifs.
I'm wearing a hat, it's all called a talif.
It's a talif.
I'm having trouble with the Rs with this Adam.
And so they retaliated and there was just a much more, a bigger drop in international
trade and prices went up and it's just what it is.
And that's why a lot of people say tariffs are basically taxes because the prices of
goods just go up for the ordinary American.
Yeah.
So it's kind of some people feel like with inflation and all these issues happening that
what's the point of the tariff?
It's all going to cut into our bottom dollar.
But listen, here's the thing is, I think ultimately
what I want to just try to explain real quick is that tariffs have been around for 250 plus years
and every single time, if you just look at a 10-year span, your money has always been up at the
end. So you should think about if you have all your money in the stock market right now and it's
going way down and you need that money, then then yes probably that's nerve-inducing
but you shouldn't have all your money in the stock market if you freaking need it
to live life. What about people who retiring right now who got 401k's?
So people who are timing bad timing but also 401k's keep working but 401k's
they're gonna definitely go down and get but you know typically older people are
not as aggressive as younger people.
So I think like it's gonna get bad,
but I think if you look over the course of 10 years,
even after the Great Depression, you're always up,
always up.
The elderly people, that might suck for them a little bit,
but what are you gonna do?
I mean, I don't know, have your grandson take you in the back
and shoot you.
JK.
Well my advice would be to just take all your money at the market.
We can't get financial advice.
Just be careful.
Okay, so this is a joke and I'll say it.
We're not going to get financial advice, but there is a hot coin that I know about called
retardo that I think maybe you should just get in on because who knows?
Right now, America's really being known for something and maybe that's the coin to go.
It's called retardio coin.
Yeah, it's called retardio coin.
Yeah, and it's an actual digital coin that you can invest in and I think that it's gonna be hot
It's what it is promoting it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Yeah, so, okay, so
You know we get these Hawley
Smooth Hawley tax tariffs which are bad and then FDR really does come in and save the day
He rolls in and he saves the day and he says and he creates he creates the RTAA what I said the why am I blanking the retardo no not retardo
the what is our TA look it up again no but what what is it why am I having a
freaking road trade initiative no it stands for the reciprocal trade
agreements I was reciprocal trade which is what Trump says he's doing right now
he says it's a reciprocal tariff right he's like I'm gonna tar'm going to tariff you knowing they're going to tariff us back,
but the kids said it's all part of the plizang. It's all part of the plan. That's what he said.
So listen, I don't know how it's all going to turn out, but I'm just telling you, the only thing you
could do right now is fear not. And we are going to take a quick break and be right back. And then
Yanni is going to explain to us how all of it applies to present day America and how you're
going to be okay, baby gorgeous.
I didn't say that last part.
I don't know, but we're getting into the WTO and, uh, and the NWL in wrestling.
Yeah.
And we're getting into NAFTA, which is present day, baby.
The rise of China and the Royal rumble between the United States versus China.
What I like cause I just like it when you're nice and hard.
Yeah.
I just like it, and I know when you've taken a Blue Chew
and when you haven't.
Yeah.
Because like today you're coming nice and hard.
What do I know?
Blue Chew and the coffee.
Yeah.
Yeah, and listen, sometimes you got to do it.
If you're a guy who needs to do it, no shame.
Just hit up Blue Chew.
Yep.
They're putting their money where their mouth is.
Just go to bluechew.com. consult with one of their licensed medical providers, and
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It's what it is, and BlueChew tablets are made right here in the USA, so you know what
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I just really do.
And that's a huge point.
These will not be affected by the tariffs
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Okay, so America becomes a big powerhouse.
You wanna know why?
Superman, baby.
Tell me.
Man of steel.
Yeah.
Pittsburgh.
Yes. West Virginia. Love it. Pennsylvania's going strong. It's steel. Yeah. Pittsburgh. Yes. West Virginia.
Love it.
Pennsylvania's going strong.
It's not just the Quakers.
We're not just making bread and baked goods by inbred people with acne.
Right.
We're also...
We're...
Who can't touch light switches.
Yes.
And can't use cars.
Yes.
But we're also making steel.
Yeah.
Got all these Italian kids and all these immigrant kids, they're just moving around steel and
we're building bridges and it makes us a powerhouse.
We're exporting steel.
People are buying our steel with our surplus steel.
We just become strong.
We put up the Empire State Building.
We put up buildings that can't fall down from planes.
Right.
Right.
But do get hit with planes.
That's what it is.
That's what we do.
We can't, here's the thing, cuz we can't, we can make steel that can get, that can withstand
anything except conspiracies.
That's the only thing that can take us down.
That's the only thing that can take down steel is a good conspiracy.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
And invisible.
Yes.
Yes.
They always can do the job.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So.
So we're gonna just, for the YouTube, just drop all that parts out because we just won't.
Just tomorrow.
Cackle it.
Or cackle it.
Yeah, just cackle it.
If you want to hear the unedited version,
you know where to go.
Patreon.com says history hyenas.
Yeah, just cackle it.
Yeah, and the Patreon, by the way,
will be out on time this week.
We've heard your voices loud and clear.
Yeah, we heard you.
You guys were the protest in Seattle, and you won.
Yeah.
You won. We tried to put Yama Kuzo last week and sneak past you guys, but we in Seattle and you won. Yeah, you won
We tried to put yarmulkes on last week and sneak past you guys, but we couldn't you caught us
Yeah, we tried to get screwed in we tried to play a little ultimate frisbee
You guys said we're not going for it
And you threw a couple of bricks through a couple of Starbucks windows and we said we're done
I'm gonna start calling the patreon that you stop out
They want what they want and that. And that's what it is.
Patreon.com slash history hyenas join the matriarchy for our weekly bonus
episodes and early this episode early on cackle.
Early on cackle because we're going to have to do a lot of cackling.
Go ahead, Yanni.
Tell us.
We're going to have to, we're going to have to, uh, we're going to have to do
something with these hats.
They may have to be be fizzled out.
Fizzled out, cuz right now if you're on the YouTube, we didn't say this, but you're on the Patreon.
Me and Yannick look like a couple.
Weisongxian.
Lad 14.
Yes, we do.
Yeah.
Yeah, we do.
We do.
We look like it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So America becomes strong.
One second.
Oh, there it is.
Yeah.
So America becomes strong.
Yeah.
Okay.
And then, uh, and then, uh, then 1994 rolls around.
Yeah.
It's a good year for hip hop.
1994 rolls around.
We're coming off the 80s, Reaganomics.
Which we were having, by the way,
we were having fun in the 80s.
Everybody was buying houses.
All our fathers were rich.
People had money.
People had money and hoes in the 80s.
Yeah, if you didn't like crack, you were doing good.
Yes, that's what it is. If you like crack, you weren't doing so good.
It's what it is, cuz.
It's what it is.
Everybody was having fun, they had money, and they had AIDS.
And AIDS, if you didn't like gay sex, if you didn't like crack, things were okay.
Yeah, it's either you had money and a mortgage, or you had crack and AIDS.
It's basically the 80s.
It is, baby, that's the 80s.
That's the 80s right there.
That is essentially the 80s. Unfortunately. Unfortunately, that's the 80s. Yeah. That is essentially the 80s. Unfortunately, unfortunately it's the 80s.
Yeah, we're just historians.
Yeah, then Bill Clinton rolls a cigar in a 21 year old girl's vagina and the 90s come roaring in.
It's what it is.
It's what it is. And then in the 90s, we get NAFTA, baby, which is the...
North American Free Trade Act.
Yeah, where we go, we look down to the south and we go, Hey, Mexico, we look up to the North
and we go, Hey, American snow monkeys.
Yeah.
Are you guys ready to trade?
Yeah.
And they say, of course we are bubba's.
Yes.
So we start trading with them.
Right.
And it's good.
It's good for Canada for the most part.
We start getting auto parts from Mexico, from Canada.
We get cheaper labor in Mexico.
We get avocados.
Really, that's a fact.
The NAFTA is why Av-AVO brunch, like Av-AVO, that's really because of NAFTA because we
started getting avocados for cheapy weepy.
We started getting cheapy weepy.
But then, unfortunately, American farmers, that's what we needed to really
start subsidizing. American farmers just get government checks. They just do. Yeah
Donnie T's just was just last administration they were just getting
checks. Because make no mistake because you know sometimes like we use words and
even you know not everyone knows you got what we got to understand too cuz is a
lot of people just they read headlines because the world is tough right now, there's a lot of things going on.
What a subsidy is, because people just say subsidies and it goes over people's heads,
a subsidy is basically the government just giving you money.
That's why I always say I think the Chinese are getting subsidies to buy houses in this
country.
I really genuinely, in my heart, believe it because you keep getting outbid by these Chinese
guys that have cash.
And I'm like, oh, that's, they're very smart.
Yes, they're very good at what they do, but I really genuinely think they're getting money from the govey these Chinese guys that have cash. Yes. And I'm like, oh, that's they're very smart.
Yes, they're very good at what they do.
But I really genuinely think they're
getting money from the govey.
Yeah, that's right.
So 1994, we got NAFTA.
And the new girl's just a piece, and it's what it is.
So NAFTA is the biggie.
And that's what starts the United States, Mexico,
and Canada really trading.
Now, FDR after World War II, like you said,
the whole point behind the international trade agreements
and GAF and all that was like,
hey, we don't want all this protection.
GAF, by the way.
GAF, yeah.
And by the way, what that was
was the gentleman's agreement on tariffs and trade.
Yeah, no ladies allowed.
No ladies allowed, and it was basically FDR
and the countries that were in power at the time saying, let's just be gentlemen right here, let's just be gentlemen and trade. Yeah, no ladies allowed. No ladies allowed, and it was basically FDR in the countries that were in power at the time saying,
let's just be gentlemen right here,
let's just be gentlemen, and trade with each other
and exclude the Chinese.
Let's just be gentlemen.
Let's just be gentlemen.
That's a fact, they just excluded a lot of Asian nations.
F-OK.
Yeah, it was just for people with body hair.
Yeah, it's what it is.
No Asians, no women allowed.
And yeah, and a gat is also a gun and a rap song.
Yes.
So that's just what it is.
It's what it is, yeah.
So the whole goal was like, we don't want this international conflict anymore.
We're going to create the United Nations.
We're going to create GATT.
We're going to create trade agreements.
We want to lift people out of poverty.
We want to get rid of this protectionism that they think was a major reason why the World
War happened.
Right.
We want everyone to flourish. We want to be interdependent on each other.
And what protectionism is, is basically a nation saying,
we're protecting our own interests
and excluding everyone else.
That's what it means.
That's what we don't want.
And that's what they think,
that's what they're saying Trump is guilty of right now.
Some people are saying that.
And some people, like Chris said,
when we had our tariffs at the beginning,
we were a nation nation and we had the tariffs
because we wanted to build our nation up.
And that's what a lot of people say.
That's why Vietnam has tariffs.
That's why a lot of these countries have tariffs.
That's why China has tariffs.
But you're going, why do you continue to have tariffs?
Because you're built up.
Yeah, you're built up.
So you're acting sneaky.
Yeah.
You're devaluing your currency
and you're doing everything to become us
and we don't like it.
We don't like it.
Yeah, we're the only ones who could do what we do.
Yeah, they're basically comics just doing Shane's cadence. Yes. And Shane doesn't like that. Doesn't like them. We don't like it. Yeah, we're the only ones who could do what we do. Yeah, they're basically comics just doing Shane's cadence.
Yes.
And Shane doesn't like that.
Doesn't like that.
We're Shane.
We're United States.
It's what it is.
It's what it is.
It's what it is, because I had a show in Boise, Idaho,
on Friday.
And I was performing at one venue.
And then Moe Ammer was performing at another venue
across town.
And I said on stage to the crowd, I said, listen,
some of you guys may have went to the
other show or may have gone to the other show, Mo Amr show, the Palestinian crowd. I said,
this show in here, this is Israel. And I created, and I said, boys, he's the Gaza Strip. And I told
Mo about it, thinking he was getting funny. And he got very mad at me and told me to stop
disrespecting the Prophet Muhammad. So it's just what it is. They're just a little bit of
militant kids. That's just what it is. It's just how they feel about this. Yeah, OK. So yeah, I mean, ultimately, that's
what becomes a big wrench in the whole international trade
scene, is culture and politics and economic systems,
communism, capitalism, human rights,
and higher mental rights.
Who's going to respect what?
Unions, non-unions, labor laws, non-labor laws.
And you know what American capitalists love?
They love a country with no labor laws.
That's what they like.
They love that.
So they said, we see you China.
We see you girl.
They're like, yo, you're gonna work your workers to death
and nobody give a fuck.
We in, y'all can't sue me.
Ooh, that.
They're like, yo, Ying Yong ain't gonna sue me.
They're like, ooh, look at that 12-year-old right there
with no right.
Yeah.
In 14 hours a day, I see you.
They're like, ooh, they're killing all the girls?
Great, more guys to work.
Ooh, we like that.
They like that.
So then we made a little deal with them.
Because you know who cares about the Chinese people
even less than the Chinese government?
Yeah.
American, capitalist.
Yes, capitalist. Which, by the way, only a small section of China is communist.
Most of them are communist are capitalists.
Yeah.
Just a mixed economy.
It's a mixed economy.
It's a mixed bag.
Yeah.
It's like our sexuality.
It's a yeah.
It's like they got capitalism with strong state control.
It's what it is.
Yes.
The state, especially it's gotten more and more and more under King Z.
He's got, he likes to put his fingers in every company and go, okay, what are you guys doing?
Okay, we're gonna take some of that.
We're gonna do this.
We're gonna dictate what you're doing.
Yeah, I mean, we got state control too here.
It's called Miss Rachel,
because I was watching it this morning with my daughter.
And if they keep going on and on and on
about how there's no gender,
they're gonna get an email from me.
I didn't know Miss Rachel started doing that.
Yeah, Miss Rachel's kind of leaning all in
and doesn't give a shit.
And it's like, the truth is Miss Rachel's, we know you have nipple rings. I could see it, cause started doing that. Yeah, Miss Rachel's kind of leaning all in and doesn't give a shit. And it's like, the truth is, Miss Rachel,
we know you have nipple rings.
Yes.
I could see it, because every time they pop out,
I pause my TV and tell the kids to go upstairs.
And she is a billionaire, probably.
Oh my god.
She's got hundreds of millions of dollars,
and that's the American economy now, baby.
Contact, sweetheart.
Contact, and make absolutely no mistake,
do not put, I would not,
I would not be shocked at this for a second if the
government has not gotten to Miss Rachel and said, you're going to start getting our ideas
out through your little pictures and your little drawings of dinosaurs and you're going
to, you're going to start to indoctrinate these kids.
Yeah.
And you could tell that she got her orders from the last administration, but this newest
administration you're going to start hearing songs like, ah, Chinese goods are cheap and break and
American goods are sturdy.
They're made by white immigrant hands that are a lot stronger than Chinese children.
So get your iPhone made in Texas and make sure you buy your Tesla and pronounce it Tesla to honor
our commander in chief in the office. Yes! Colorado please repaint that painting
of the great Lord Donald Trump and that's what it's gonna be. That's a good
song. I like that song. That's what it's gonna be. Yes. Yeah.
America first kids.
Let's say it together.
Ah, muh, rrr, ka, first.
Yes.
So NAFTA happens 1994, Bill Clinton
after George W. Bush initiated it.
And so we go into NAFTA and then the biggie happens. 1999, we're not
just going to party like it's 1999, like we're a cute androgynous man who can sing and play
instruments. We're also going to formalize the global trade agreement in something called
the WTO.
The World Trade Organization, folks.
It gets a home base.
It's basically how we talked about that gentleman's agreement.
It's now morphed all the way into the World Trade Organization,
which is a permanent institution.
And it's basically there to what?
Settle rules, settle fights between, basically settle trade wars.
To have a winner and a loser, but make no mistake,
what don't they have?
Enforcement.
That's the problem with these international organizations.
That's the problem with the United Nations.
That's the problem with the WTO,
is they're basically a referee in a WWE wrestling match.
Yeah.
They got no authority.
Yeah, that's the basic, it's a problem with the traffic cop.
It's like, guy, you can't give me a ticket
if I tell you not to.
Yeah, they just wave their finger and they go,
put that down, Israel, put that chair
down, America stop, and then they just do fake counts and that's all they can do.
It's in the traffic cop, it's like, hey, let me ask you a question, guy.
Is it worth giving me a ticket for $55 when ICE shows up at your door tomorrow?
Is it worth it?
Because I'll make a call.
Yeah, that's a question for you.
That's a question for you, guy.
That's a question.
So it takes place in Seattle.
Now, this is an takes place in Seattle.
Now, this is an interesting moment in history because the phone is there, the computer is there.
So this is like one of the first times, if not the first time, a massive protest is organized on the
internet. 400,000 people converge onto Seattle. They coordinate on the internet, they coordinate
with cell phones. and the interesting thing
is it's people from all walks of life, different groups.
You got unions, you got environmentalists, you got anarchists, you got people who are
upset about the turtles because they're getting caught in the nets in Peru or whatever.
Because they're going, because in South America they were catching these turtles with these
nets and the fucking turtles' faces would get caught caught and the WTO would go, hey, we don't regulate how they catch them.
We just want to facilitate the free trade. So you got environmentalists, you got turtle protectors,
you got all these different groups. You got blue collar union guys going down there going, no,
we don't want that. It's going to hurt the steel worker. So all these different groups come together
and then you got the anarchists. They were called anarchists there, but this is like a precursor to the Antifa.
That's what it is.
They put their masks on. It's a mostly peaceful protest out there, but then they start assimilating into all these groups and they start smashing shit.
And what we're talking about is that a fun name was called the Battle of Seattle. It was called the Battle of Seattle, which rhymed. And if you can see, that Seattle still carries on that tradition
of having Chazz.
And whenever you go to Seattle, when you get the weather report,
you just go, hey, it's a little hazy.
There's precipitation, 70%.
It's a little cloudy, 47 degrees, and a 12% chance of tear gas.
Because that's what it is. And let me me just tell you I just want to take a quick
moment to tell you that this weekend I was in a little city called Spokane,
Washington and let me tell you something right now now you look at me right now
you look at me good okay this is still probably Chrissy coming at you if you've
ever complained about living in New York City because I hear a lot of people
complain about how our city is degrading and our city isn't at once what it was and New York lost its stuff. Let me tell you
something right now. Go spend a weekend in Spokane, Washington and you tell me,
you tell me, I bet you'd rather live in Brownsville in 1997 than Spokane,
Washington. Okay folks, Spokane, Washington, I am NOT, I am NOT dramatic when it comes
to these things about cities and the drug issues all that spokane
Washington is one of the craziest
Drug war zones I've ever seen in my entire
Life and I'm telling you right now cuz I'd rather be in Shanghai than Spokane
Okay, you do not Spokane one and and here's what happened is the people who live in Spokane, Washington
I did Washington State University,
one of the most liberal schools ever,
it's in the state of Washington,
even they said, we voted differently this election
because of a little thing called Spokane, Washington.
So make absolutely no mistake, Seattle, Spokane,
these types of places that Yanni's talking about right now,
you got it wrong and you get it wrong a lot, okay?
You're just wrong about most of the stuff.
And I just think that your city was once beautiful and now you let it go to shit and make absolutely
no mistake.
Me and Jan are here to save you.
Yeah, that's what we're going to do.
We're going to do.
We're going to bring back jobs.
Yeah, it's what it is.
We're going to bring back jobs.
We're going to bring back jobs and we're going to tell you how right after this break.
It's getting good, baby.
You're not going to want to miss what we say next, and we're keeping the hats on.
Oh, it gets really, really gnarly.
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Okey doke, So here we are.
Yeah. Here we are.
Right.
Trade stop starts then 2001, September 11th happens, but another big event
happened that a lot of people don't talk about China joins the WTO.
Wow.
Vince McMahon pulls the strings.
Yeah.
Changes the storyline and China, the big bad China, joins the WTO
and American companies get wet in the pussy.
Yes.
They go, ooh, we're sending our companies to China because we love your cheap labor.
It's what it is.
And it happens fast, dude. From 2001 to 2025, China rose up in two decades
to become our rival.
Yeah, you have to understand.
Because of the WTO.
Because people always think about,
it's hard for our brain sometimes
to let go of the present, but there was a time,
30 years ago, I actually remember this being a kid,
China was a country, a very big country,
but like not at all on the economic superpower
that it was, like not even close.
People didn't even wear shoes.
Yeah, it was just China was just like,
it was like a country like a Vietnam or a Cambodia
was just bigger, it was, you know,
they're there, they're making their things,
but they're not, it was just the United States and Russia.
That was just what it was.
There was nothing industrial about China.
It was just agrarian, just farmers walking
around in little thong, sneaker shoes, and they were just eating rice and they were squatting
down and they were wearing these hats to protect themselves from the sun or whatever, and they
had ox pulling them around. They were sitting on ox and they were doing all types of things.
And then they got involved in international trade and that is what started this new economic
arms race.
China just exploded.
They threw tariffs on our stuff to protect themselves.
They undervalued their currency.
They really took advantage of becoming the world's factory, which we mentioned in another
episode.
Wait, hold on.
You said they undervalued their currency?
Yeah.
So like what?
They didn't care if their yen went down because they were like we just they just
want to tariff everybody can you explain that what they are doing can you explain
why they under because I sometimes I don't understand that and that's what I
mean sometimes I mean right now and always it's unfair what they were doing
it what would they do about the dollar the dollar is the international currency
the US dollar is the international when people make deals they make it in dollars.
So people want to collect dollars. Now Jesse will explain to you what the undervaluing of the Chinese currency does.
I think it can just keep their goods cheaper. Right. So but even though they're losing money.
It gives them more buying power and then they would save dollars, right?
Because as Yana said that was the international reserve currency. So everything gets traded in dollars.
Right.
Dollars are the safe haven.
And then the yen can go down and then it's cheaper for them.
So when you have your money in like the,
that international monetary fund that IMF, it's dollars.
They, they, they give out loans.
They give out loans, they give out loans to build you up.
But do they equate it in everything?
Dollars.
Dollars.
So if your currency is stronger than the UA,
you just got to pay less dollars.
You got a white guy with a wig on a bill.
Yeah, it's what it is.
And that's what you get.
That's what you get.
That's what you get.
But right now, as we say right now, the US dollar is still strong, but it's getting a
bit weaker with the tariffs, right?
Absolutely.
Yeah, the euro's coming up.
Who's got the strongest currency?
I think maybe the euro now?
Is it the euro?
Who's number one?
It's always flip-flopping between the euro and the... So wait, but would the Chinese devalue their own currency to say,
basically, you think part of it too might have been like, maybe we can get the rest of the world
to want to use our dollar because it's cheaper? Well, that's what's happening. That's what they're
trying to do now. So what happens is, so this is, let's get back to the... The Kuwaiti dinar.
Dinar. Yeah, the Kuwaiti dinar the kawaii dinar
Or yeah, the or the kawaii diner which is down. It's it's in bensonhurst now. Yeah, things are changing out there
So the the dinar in kuwait is the official currency of kuwait is known for its high value instability in the international market
They just got so much oil. Wow. One kwd is currently worth three dollars and 25 cents. That's good
Yeah, I also think the uh, the kroner is currently worth $3.25. That's good. Yeah, I also think the Kroner is worth more than the dollar.
Is the Kroner German?
The Kroner is what they use in Scandinavia.
Ah, okay.
Yeah, so it's like Norway.
Yeah.
And they got a lot of oil too.
Yeah.
So...
Oh, yeah. So tell us about, I think you were just about to get to...
So the WTO works, but it benefits some rich countries,
but not so much some poor countries.
Right.
Right, because the richer countries are going,
hey, we're gonna not play by the rules.
Right.
We're gonna, you know, we're not gonna let,
we're not gonna take, like America, for example,
is going, we're not, to protect our farmers,
we're not gonna take your corn,
we're gonna take our corn.
Got it.
So we didn't play by the rules in the WTO
since we run it.
They were a referee in a WWE wrestling match.
So then some countries are benefiting
and other countries are not.
Right.
So what happened?
One of the countries who's not benefiting is China.
No, China's benefiting.
China's benefiting who's not benefiting?
Brazil.
Okay.
Yeah, we put tariffs on their meat.
We protect it because Brazil's got a lot of meat. It's got a lot of soybean, whatever. It's got a lot We protect it, because Brazil's got a lot of meat.
It's got a lot of soybean, whatever.
It's got a lot of fat asses.
It's got a lot of fat asses.
Yeah.
Yeah, and yeah, Thailand,
the ladyboy market right now is a little expensive,
so we're going back to just dudes and wigs.
Yeah, it's one of those.
For a little while, dudes and wigs,
because ladyboys are just hard to import.
Yeah.
There's a 10% tariff on top of 30%.
You just want to go back to a guy with a wig.
It's just what it is, Scott. Yeah. Cross-dressers are back for a little while. Yeah, it's what it is.
It's save a little money. Yeah. Yeah.
By the way, the reason why Jesse pulled it up, why Asia devalued its currency, China,
is because it lowered the price of its exports and gained a competitive advantage in the
international market. That's why they did it. So just like Jesse said, just like
smart kids got his money with fidelity. He's got his money with fidelity. That's why they did it. So just like Jesse said, smart kids got his money with fidelity.
He's got his money with fidelity, that's what it is.
So then what happens is Brazil,
it's not working out for Brazil,
it's not working out for Russia,
it's not working out for India, right?
For whatever reason.
Oh, they're gonna come together?
Yeah, and that's what happens.
That's when the WTO just turns into jail rules
and people start ganging up and it turns into factions.
So now you got NAFTA, which then turns into 2020, it turns into something else because
they're trying to look out for workers' rights and... NAFTA turns into the USMCA Donald Trump
made at the United States-Mexican-Canada agreement. So it's the same thing, but he just made it a
little bit more beneficial for the US because Donald Trump is the president
that feels like the United States is always getting shafted.
And if he thinks that, then that's what I think.
Yeah.
So basically with a rich guy,
with a rich guy who's got a lot of poor friends
and we're always buying them dinner.
And we're going like, you know, that's what you expect,
but we're going like, I've paid for enough dinners.
You guys gotta start kicking in a little bit.
That's basically what's going on.
So then BRICS comes out and BRICS is Brazil, Russia, India and China.
So they start forming their own thing.
They make their own currency, right?
Yeah, they're starting to fucking, they're trying to make their own currency and they're
trying to do their own trade agreements.
Right now you got South Korea, Japan and China who are starting to strengthen their trade agreements are not one one
guy that looks say exactly what's up one guy that's just one guy that i don't
look to bet to retaliate against us their strength in their trade agreement
when they show up to the meeting with the u.s. trumps got to say okay which
wants from which country it's just what has happened if they turned around if
they turned around their name card, you think Trump would say,
Yeah, so Japan?
It's a tough taste test.
Yeah, it's a tough taste test.
Yeah, he would say, yeah, I don't want to use.
Yeah, say I love Asia.
So they're retaliating right now.
Some would say we're pushing our allies economically into our foes' hands
because the reason why we're pulling the brakes on this is because China got too powerful
And so we feel like China's not playing fair anymore because they got these high tariffs enough, but they're a built-up nation
Yes, these this tower for right now even you agree on us
It's about us first China the other countries are just there to be there, but it's us first China
It's what if China says we're we'll back off
Trump will pull off the tariffs
from everybody.
That's why Biden kept the tariffs that Trump put in. It's about China. But like Donald
Trump does, he goes in hard and he goes in and he just puts tariffs on fucking everybody.
So the big critique is like, you're going a little hard, man. Why are we going to war
with Canada, dude? Why do you wanna buy Greenland, bro?
What are you doing, bro?
Why, bro?
Why are we fucking putting tariffs on fucking Cambodia, dude?
I think he could put a tariff on Antarctica.
There's just penguins there.
We don't get anything from Antarctica.
Everyone gets it.
I think he put a fucking tariff on Mars.
I mean, the guy just put a tariff on everybody.
You're going like, okay, maybe you go a little too hard, man.
What it is, guys.
What are you doing, dude?
He just puts tariffs on people walking in.
I mean, dude, anybody who wants to step up will get a tariff.
Yeah, I mean, the EU, the EU's our greatest friend
and it's like bang, he's slapping them.
And you go, what are you doing, man?
Yeah, so.
What are you doing?
They slapping Vietnam and Vietnam's our new Chinese.
Yeah.
We moved, a lot of the American companies during COVID
moved their fucking companies to Vietnam.
Some of this might honestly be truthfully
like a little bit of a psychological warfare
where he wants the other countries to be like,
yo, this guy is crazy, let's just do what he wants.
Is it possible?
What you hope is that this is a negotiation tactic.
This is a game of poker right now.
Yeah.
It's a game of poker. The problem is Donald Trump doesn't have a poker face.
Yeah.
He's very predictable. All you got to do is insult him and he goes nuts.
Well, here's the thing too. Here's what I just want to say, just a real quick thing is I want to say is,
I know, I understand that people are for tariffs against tariffs.
I think ultimately if we're not economists, which we're not, we really don't know really what we're talking about.
We're just taking wild steps. But I will tell you this, hey, some guy in Italy,
you know, in a couple of months,
gonna get six to eight weeks paid vacation.
They're gonna get paternity leave.
They're gonna get all that.
We don't get any of that.
You wanna know why we don't get that?
Because we pay, our debt pays
for your fricking vacation time, okay, guy?
So we want the money back.
You got to go to fricking Meekinos for six weeks,
and I have to sit there in Disneyland like an asshole because I barely get any time off. So also I know you're going to say, oh, that the
UK tax is higher, Europeans tax higher, and then they, because of those tax money that the people
pay into, that's why they get more time off, that's why they get more freedoms, that's why they get
free healthcare. Well, maybe some of that's true, but what's also true is we pay for a lot of your
shit, guy, and so I just want the money back. I want to go to Mekinos to and cheat on my wife
Yeah, but the problem is we set that system up. We said hey, we want our bases over there
We want to control you guys. We don't got want you guys to have a military more
We don't want your pan. I should say they in World War two instead. We have to do it
We were the ones you made us drop that nuke on those people. Yeah, we's what's happening. I mean. But that's right. I don't know, man. I don't know, man. I don't know.
I don't know if we had to do it. Can't look good. Yeah, I know. But what's definitely going to happen
is if this continues, prices will go up. Here's the thing, folks. Let me just say this. You're
going to want to hold on to your Samsung. Prices are going up a little bit.
Prices are going up a little bit,
but here's the interesting thing.
They are going up, but no matter what way you slice it,
if you look back at history,
if you look at a 10-year span,
even the Great Depression, even the 2008 crisis,
even COVID, you're up.
You're up right now.
It's only five years later.
You are up from COVID, okay?
So just know that we will probably weather this storm because if in fact you lose everything
It's probably because the country's lost everything and the world's ending and it doesn't matter
You're gonna have to eat rats to survive anyway. We're gonna be cannibals
So that so if you find yourself with nothing then just find the fattest person and eat that guy
Yeah, and just kill that guy and put that guy in your meat freezer because that's what it's going to be. So
do not worry. You are going to take some losses now. It's going to hurt for a little bit.
Donny T said it was going to hurt for a little bit. But here's the good news. Mortgage rates
are going down a little bit because now the Fed is going to say we want money pumping
back into the economy. So it introduces an interesting time if you want buy a house. Maybe the rates are gonna come down a little bit
over the next six months, that's possible.
If you got put some money in bonds, it's relatively safe.
The US government never defaults on its loans
and that's what a bond is.
You're just basically giving the government money
so they can use it.
We're not financial advisors.
We're not financial advisors, I'm just saying,
I'm not saying to do that,
I'm just saying there's positive things going on.
But if you have most of your money
in the stock market right now,
it's probably gonna go down.
And you gotta ask yourself, do I need that money or not?
It has gone down.
It has gone down and what you should,
what I think, just know that historically,
I'm not saying it's gonna happen this time,
but historically, every single time,
you have eventually gotten your money back.
You've eventually, the money's been up
and the next couple of weeks are gonna tell the story.
But if my advice, this is not financial advice, it's just life advice,
don't look, don't look every day
because you're gonna just get upset.
Just don't look, it's like, you know,
it's like when I gotta wake up and pee
in the middle of the night and I'm almost positive
there's a ghost in my room, I just close my eyes
and I find the bathroom and I pee on it.
Yeah, the only, the very nerve-racking thing
is when you think, okay, what prevents people
from going to war with each other?
You go, it's economic interdependence.
And if you stop doing that and you start,
and everyone starts teaming up with their own stuff,
you know, their own little squads, economic squads,
then you start messing with people's money,
that's when people get really frustrated.
They get really frustrated.
They get really upset.
That's the other thing, I will say that's the other boo boo,
that's the other thing to just add on because we are history people here.
If you look back in history, this is not an opinion, it's just a facty wacky.
Every time we've had trade wars like this, wars come pretty soon after.
Because basically this is an act of war.
This is an act of war.
It is an act of war.
It's a way to look at it.
You can say this is an act of war.
I mean, the same way when we put an embargo on oil to Japan and then Japan's well now we got to attack you. Yeah.
That's kind of what's happening now. It's not a full embargo but we're saying
dude some some products in China if you if you put the tariff on with the
already tax they have with some other stuff China has to pay like 78% to ship
something here so that's gonna be a big problemo. Yeah and you start pushing
allies into foes hands and, and alliances start forming, and people might start liking it.
And then you've got culture involved there.
You've got.
Because every time you say the word foe,
you remind me of another three-letter F word.
Bo and friends, baby.
And so this is where we are right now,
where America is trying to reclaim itself,
ourself, as the dominant force. And we're trying to bully everybody else back into an order that we like. We're trying to reclaim itself, ourself, as the dominant force.
And we're trying to bully everybody else
back into an order that we like.
We're trying to bring, we're trying to onshore companies
that were offshored or at least bring them near shore.
Now here's the big question.
Will Americans get back on the line?
That's, we don't know.
Can they fit on the line?
Yes, that's the other issue.
Can they actually move across their belly and move a product on a belt? That, we don't know. Can they fit on the line? Yes. That's the other issue. Can they actually move across their belly
and move a product on a belt?
That I don't know.
We don't know.
I don't even know if they can fit into a belt,
let alone get on the belt.
Now here's another problem.
With robots coming, do we even need Americans?
Are those jobs gone forever?
Is this just a Quixotic dream?
Big word, Don Quixote. Yeah, what's Quixotic dream? Big word. Don Quixote.
Yeah. What does Quixotic mean?
It's like a fantasy. Quixotic, you know, he was always trying to fight the windmills.
Oh yeah.
So Quixotic means like, you know, you're delusional.
Right.
So is this like, I mean, what are we doing? What are we doing? I mean, we got human robots.
Those are Chinese.
Right.
And then we got real robots.
Right.
And then we got real robots coming.
Right.
That are going to be making stuff.
So the guy from Pittsburgh, is he really going back into the factory?
I don't know.
I'm just asking questions.
Questions.
Here's the thing, cuz.
Here, I think, I hope that you learned something about the history of the tariffs, about what's
actually going on in these tariff wars.
I hope you learned something and I hope it's just fun for you, but know honestly that there's
really nothing that we can do here as people to stop a trade war between two First World nations. All you could do is have fun and enjoy your life
and try not to look at your money every second of the day because it will give
you anxiety. Just know that you're probably okay and at the end of the day
if you just want to seek comfort then you go to patreon.com search history
hyenas that's where you spend your money because that money that is not a tariff.
That is just where we're just giving that out to the people. Yeah what we don't build anything there, but we do provide a service and that service is to give you entertainment
You would give you an entertainment business, which is our economy right now
We are an only fans and podcast economy. So go out there and shake your ass or open your mouth, babe
I'm gonna be April 24th, New Haven, Connecticut
College Street music hall April 25th Albany the egg and then May 29th, Washington DC May 30th, New Haven, Connecticut, College Street Music Hall, April 25th, Albany, The Egg, and then May 29th, Washington, D.C., May 30th, Durham, North Carolina, May 31st, Charleston,
South Carolina, and my show, September 11th, has been moved from MSG Arena to MSG Theater.
I told you it was going to happen and it did.
And the thing is, the show is almost sold out.
So if you want to get tickets to see me in New York, I'm only doing one show.
You got to go to chrisdcomedy.com or historyinisisback.com
and get those tikkies.
New York is almost sold out, go get them.
Yeah, and just see me in Cleveland, Ohio
at Hilarity's April 18th and 19th
and then I'm taking a break on the road
and then I'll be in Bozeman, Montana in June.
But my special will be coming out somewhere soon
and then I'll be back on the road, so that's it.
Yeah, special can come out somewhere soon and then Yanni's gonna make his pockets a little lighter, the manager's getting fired.
Now, I hope you learned something. Let us know in the comments at youtube.com slash history anus what you like what you didn't like.
We always have the most fun here at patreon.com slash history anus
so we're gonna read the newest members of the matron who I've just recently joined to a part of our club now and that's
where you have the unpackled episodes. That's where you get a bonus episode.
We're going to go further into tariffs.
We have an episode with the great Matan on,
the kid who says he's from Sweden,
but he's really from California.
So we're having a good time over there.
So welcome to the matriarchy, Zach Zussman, Christian Berner.
Then we got the last cum bender.
What do you think?
Style bender.
OK, style bender.
I'm going to give him a Drexler.
Okay, Big Ten tuba player.
Big Ten tuba player's a chicken finger.
I like it.
Diddy's towel.
I love it.
Chicken finger.
Chicken finger is an honor.
Okay, then we got Donald Jingleheimer Trump.
Okay, I don't know what that means, but thank you.
Adam Graham.
Then we got a twinkle of his lordship, Dylan J. Timothy.
Okay.
Like that. Very funny. Then we got Krube. his lordship, Dylan J. Timothy. Like that, very funny.
Then we got Crubby, MV Peace, 6ix9ine Squeak with an acorn piece.
Put him on the list.
All right, there we go.
We call a guy with a little peepee.
Then we got Theodore's Fumologist.
Very funny.
Robert Ahrensmeyer, Thomas Greco, Ben Scranage,
then we got Benjamin Boxbriether Franklin.
Okay, okay.
Foley Lies, then we got Diddy with Dami
and Til Kanya Drinks Mommy's Glue, okay.
Then we got Glucom, AKA Gay Edgar Hoover.
Gay Edgar Hoover would probably just won.
Gay Edgar Hoover would have been good. Sean Sara Flores, then we got Kendrick
Fumar's Jinko jeans. In the Super Bowl, right? Yeah, direct so that. That's a good one. I
mean, if it was closer to the Super Bowl, you're talking maybe on the list. Well, maybe
that's, but this is how far back we are. Remember, if you're listening here and you're not on
the Patreon, we have so many members. You guys are missing a lot here. We have so many members that we're like two months behind on names because that's an honorary on the list for how good
All right, honorary on the list. He's gonna win but I'm putting your honor or honorary
All right, Richie row Alexis Ribl are Rudy Kurowski be just here for the content
That's right. So we have so right to the back straight to the back those people who just want to get here
They don't want anyone to know who they are
They're just here for the content listening straight to the back with you walk to the back of an people who just want to get here, they don't want anyone to know who they are, they're just here for the content, listening straight to the back, like
you walk to the back of an adult film video store.
Head down, raincoat on.
Then we got Zan, the rice and beans kid who freely uses the N-word.
Okay, so we cannot...
We walked into one there, we don't condone that kind of behavior.
It's an extra kid who slings the N-word around.
Yeah.
Can't do that.
Jojo Bebop, Spencer Underwood, Clue Nan.
Maybe that's a Walked Into One award.
Maybe we got to do a Walked Into One award.
Want to do a Walked Into One award?
Yeah, that guy won it.
All right, so you're in the Walked Into One.
Then we got Father Bill Squeak of the Week's Pink Stink.
Drexler.
Drexler.
Francisco, call me Sauce Monkey Man Narino.
All right.
All right.
Then we got Kippy's hair from the limo video.
Okay.
Okay.
Got a lot of RU garbage guys here.
Then we got Panda Express, like Panda, but Panda.
Panda Express.
Panda Express.
I like it.
Chicken finger.
Little Brown Toot with the uncut flute.
Okay.
Okay.
Shamiah Brown, Devin Westcott.
Then we got Cousy Wuzzy, Bros F Stalin. Okay. Okay. Uh, Shamiah Brown, Devon Westcott. Then we got Cousy Wuzzy, Bros F Stalin.
Okay. Uh, Rich Berger, Mr. Champ, Logan. Then we got Chen, make no mistake, I play ping pong in
Ding Dang Lee. Okay. Drexler. Then we got Cleared Hot. Uh, Steven Spencer, Austin Medina, Mr. Bat OG,
Austin Souza. Then we got Go On Strike, WNBA.
I like the women's basketball.
Okay.
But funny.
I mean the Yukon game last night was great.
I mean, but they won by 30.
Yeah, it was a blowout.
Make Europe Fumeless again.
Okay.
Proofers crematorium, walk-ins welcome.
Put it on the list.
Walk-ins welcome to a crematorium is very funny.
We walked into one and okay.
Amy Fumer, we've had already.
Father Billy shit on my willy.
Okay.
Okay.
I'll go to therapy.
Then we got Yuka, make me so horny.
We talked about the Yuka app a lot.
Yeah.
One episode.
Put them on the list.
Yuka, make me so horny.
Yuka, make me so horny, yeah.
Then we got what's in the ball bitch.
Okay.
Okay. Then we go, I waited six months trying to come up with a funny name. Yeah. Uh, then we got what's in the ball, bitch. Okay. Okay.
Then we go, I waited six months trying to come up with a funny name.
Okay.
It's just a name.
Okay.
Being honest.
I was being honest.
Barry Bashior.
Then we got AKA Pablo Diablo.
Okay.
Evan Hisbe.
Then we got, I had a leaky roof, but Yanni P and Chrissy D glue gunned
it like Marines on Iwo Jima.
Put it on the list.
On the list.
Okay.
Put it on a list.
The guy had a leaky roof and then we glued it back together. Yeah. Like Marines on Iwo Jima. Put it on the list. On the list. Okay. Put it on a list, guy had a leaky roof and then we glued it back together.
Yeah.
Like Marines on Iwo Jima.
What it is.
Yeah.
Um, okay.
Cardiolix.
Then we got Mike Dantz.
Walked into one.
So sorry about that.
That's an actual slur and I apologize.
I just walked into one.
Weiss on she ain't.
He wrote it all out there and it just gets you when it's one word. It starts from a different generation.
Yeah.
Then we got, okay, Future Trip.
Then we got Zin'd Up and The Roof is Still Leaky.
Okay.
Jaron Sletcher's, Matthew Raimondo.
Then we got The funny F word.
Sarah bird, Ahmad Hassan.
Then we got Italian frisbee. Call me a sauce wits monkey.
Sauce wits like, okay.
Yeah.
Interesting.
I like it.
I like it.
Then we got a muff munchkin midget.
Okay.
Then we got big Turkey testicles.
Uh, put it on the list.
All right.
Yeah. You know, I just like it.
I like it.
Then we got no pot, Hawkeye 67, Emmanuel J. Baldes.
Then we got Nikki Glazer's discharge yummy, Chrissy rubbed my tummy.
Okay.
It's just a freak.
Wow.
Yeah.
Then we got small piece on my Frank dribbles on my beans when I pay.
Oh, he likes that.
Yanni likes that.
Then we got Plato's student because you know, they liked him cute. Yeah. Uh, then we got, uh, New York, bigger knocker.
New York, bigger.
No, I don't know.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Uh, frisbee Dave, the gelfight fit, the
gefilte fish slave, Wei Shanqian.
Okay.
Gifilte fish slave.
Sorry, bad read.
Yeah.
Then we got Zach Isis, hairy glue gun.
And we got, if I'm for the table, at least
give me service at the mouth.
That's etiquette.
It's just what it is. Cause. Put them on the list. Cause. Cause. Cause.. Sorry, bad read. Then we got Zach Isis, Harry Glu gun.
And we got, if I'm for the table, at least give me service of the mouth. That's etiquette.
It's just what it is.
Cause put them on the list.
Okay.
Yeah.
He's just making a point.
It's funny.
Then we got, uh, Robert Paulson, glue chew promo code, hyenas,
Xbox boy, else dizzy.
Then we got the boys and girls club.
The boys, boys, like a Jewish thing.
Like, yeah, you're going.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's very good.
Just chicken finger.
Then we got Fumare Stoudemire, which we've had Calvin Winkler, Zachary
Smith, drew the, then we got Weishan Xian, peaking fuckhouse.
Okay.
Zachary money.
Then we got Sarah Tonin.
Uh, is it Sarah Tonin?
No, Sarah Tonin. Just the, just, yeah. And here, look, we've got two morein. Is it Saratonin? No, Saratonin. Just yeah.
And here look we got two more pages and then I think we're caught up. Yeah. Okay
so we're almost caught up. We are doing the work so just stick with us for a
couple more. We're gonna have a great list today. You're gonna want a list to the
end. I'm sure there's some more bangers. Chris D. Cockenfeller, like cock in
feller. Interesting. Like Rockenfeller, he's saying cock in feller, interesting. Like rock in feller, you're saying cock in a guy.
I know, that's good.
It's good, but I don't know.
Drexler.
Okay, Drexler.
Don LaMitte, Diego Sanchez, Luis Villa, then we got so much Mattel water, even my coffee's
white.
Drexler.
Okay.
Boston McNeil, then we got if Yanni's body was the patron, send me straight to the back.
Okay.
Don't understand it. King Louis broken turd cutter. Oh, send me straight to the back. Okay? Don't understand it.
King Louis' broken turd cutter.
Oh, send me straight to the back to bang it out.
Got it.
Got it.
King Louis' broken turd cutter.
Brian Stewart.
Then we got Time for Toots and Snoot Boops.
Wait, I really like, because he's got a kid out of broken asshole.
What do you want?
I want a Drexler.
Alright, Drexler.
King Louis Gay Honorary Drexler.
Then we got Gavin Brockway, Well It's Cam, Peek Squeak.
Then we got I Told My Mom To Listen To H.H., Now She Won't Speak To Me. That's what it
is. Sorry about that.
Yeah, she's not in, yeah, it's not for everyone. Loretta Allen, Jonathan, Jammie Whammy, Tyler
Feamster, Dutch Oven, My Jewish Wife. Walked into one. be like that. But here's the thing, it's so bad.
Yeah.
There's people, what does he say?
There's people.
We can't understand your writing.
These people are scamming everyone.
Which people?
Scaring.
Oh, scaring, who's that?
Guests.
Oh, guests.
Oh, yeah, they're out there.
What is he doing?
I don't know, they're. All right What is he doing? I don't know.
Did he come with his fucking guy?
Crazy.
Yeah.
A couple minutes.
Yeah, tell him five minutes.
Okay.
All right.
So much, okay.
Time for dudes to snoop boobs.
Tom's just a boy soldier for the table.
Oh shit.
Oh, Tom's just a hobo hunter,
Gavin Brockway, Peek Squeak,
Un Poco Coco, Zach Folkerth, Big Schwug,
Daniela Vail, Ashley Lammers, Jake, FA double.
Oh yeah, sorry, shit.
Trans historian cosplayer, Benedict Arnold on OF. Very good, sorry. Shit. Wei Zhongxian. Trans-historian cosplayer, Benedict Arnold on OF.
Very good. Drexler.
I like it.
Barry $3 Bill McCockenham.
McCockenham.
Drexler.
Pete, take it up the ass, Buttichedge.
Okay.
Calabrese Cuckmerchant, Brian Bravo, Jacob Dwyer.
Uh oh, DaVinci is in my stinky.
They called me Boof Lee, it's what it is.
Okay.
Bruce Lee.
Bufle, he said.
Yeah.
Okay.
Kanye is the real Clayton Bigsby.
It's very true.
Zoe Schlagen on some Hoff, Blair Schleitzengraaff.
Okay.
Pizzle, shizzle, hop on the Dizzle and fill you with jizzle.
It's what it is.
Oh, you feel me, my nizzle.
Fuzzy Muzzy was a bear. bear fuzzy was he had so much hair fuzzy was he wasn't on caliphate pilgrimage over the southern border was he?
Okay, ebony Scrooge shooting her glue gun into her own mouth aka single stream recycling
You know that goes out Liz
Sushi on my nips Cause it's what it is.
I'm for the table.
Okay.
Got to put it on the list.
Okay.
It's a good list.
Yeah.
Then we got Mike hunt short bus mechanic.
Uh, it's a, it's a Drexler chicken figure and Drexler.
It's a Sarah Keter piece.
I don't know what that means.
Yeah.
Waka kaka flaming hot cheeto fingers
Tuck her back Carl daughter
Okay
Shaquille oatmeal toaster bath
Funny Tim Clemens Julie. All right, one more page guys, and then we are all caught up Justin Fox
LeBron's Hong Kong kindergarten sings slave songs
He was going for it. Yeah.
All right.
Maximilian Lane, Joseph McKinsky,
Hammersmith, Nicholas Morrison,
Big Mike, Squeeze My Dom De Louise,
Balls, Sacajawea, like Ballsac, Ballsacajawea.
Chicken Finger.
Chicken Finger, I like it.
J.C. Sawyer, Brian M. Jake R.
Then we got Vinny Tia, the Trans Sauce Monkey,
like instead of Venetia, Vinny Tia.
Vinny Tia, get it.
Funny, I like it.
Call me pest control the way I'm bug chasing.
Put them on the list.
List, there you go.
That's contender.
Bug chasing, if you guys don't know,
is when you knowingly know someone has HIV
and you have unprotected anal sex.
But that's what bug chasing is.
I would say that's the contender.
Then we got Leaky Roof Repair, LLC.
Hertz 2 Brown, Go Birds. That's I would say that's the contender. They've got leaky roof repair LLC
hurts to Brown go birds
No, so far out to kill Eka Amau
Alexander Rodriguez, Jacob Ligenza Jackson Miller five knuckle shuffle on AOC's beef
It's a thick list Matthew Doherty Jacob, Yanni, close eyes to see the cock size. It's not gay if it happens underwater. Put them on the list.
I mean, it's just a point that I've never thought about. Yeah. Doritos, Locos, Forever Essay,
Doritos Locos Forever Essay, Zoe Ryan Sam. Then we got Kevin Hall, Empress Theodorus Tootjuice.
Then we got Vivek, Vivek, the Paget lays sheet in the street.
Then we got my history, Hyena's name is in my bio.
Oh, thank you.
Andrew Kester, Chris, Grant Big One, Harrison.
Then we got Tuck It Back Mark, Just Call Me Caitlin Clark.
Okay, okay.
Boys, Pelosi, I Just Lost the Skirt, I'm Screwed In, Cause Make No Mistake.
Sean, then we got Dang Ling Wong, it's a character piece.
Then we got Bobby the Throat Goat, Kennedy's Angry Voice Box.
We had that, a better one earlier.
It's a good one. Mike Tillen-Smith, and then we have Tutty's Big Ol' Dirty Milkers.
Yeah, that's...
Right.
Our garbage.
And last but not least, we have Winnie the Pooh Puncher 3000.
Good one.
Chicken finger.
Okay.
So we got a list today.
We got a thick list.
All right, we got a thick list, so let me just read this.
Okay, so we got, on the list, shooting your glue gun
into your own mouth, AKA single stream recycling.
Contender. Contender.
Sushi on my nips, because it's what it is,
I'm for the table.
Any other day. Any other day.
Okay, so he's out.
All right, so let me just put that in.
Then we have Kendrick Fumar's Jinko jeans.
Any other day. Any other day.
Six eight squeak with an acorn piece.
Chicken finger. All right. It's great. Any other day. Any other day. Six eight squeak with an acorn piece. Chicken finger. All right. It's great. Any other day. Okay.
So that page is out. So then we have a Furo's,
Pifuras crematorium walk-ins welcome. I like the walk-ins welcome,
but any other day. Any other day. Yeah. Drexler. Yuka making me so horny.
Drexler. Drexler. Good one. I had a leaky roof,
but Yanni P and Chrissy D glue gunned it like Marines on Iwo Jima. Contender. Contender, so we're gonna
circle him. Then we got big turkey testicles. Jesse loves it but it's
getting chicken figure. Chicken figure, okay. Then we got small pee so my Franks
dribbles on my beans when I pee. Another good one, chicken finger. Chicken finger,
okay. So that's out. Then we got I'm for the table, at least give me service of
the mouth. That's etiquette, it's just what what it is cuz I'm contendering that one. I like it. All right. Yeah, I like just what matter of fact service
Yeah, yeah
Okay, so we got that so we got three
Call me pest control the way on bug chasing contender contender. Yeah, we like him. Yes, five knuckles shuffle on AOC's beef
We're gonna we're gonna chicken. We're gonna direct. So that Ixler, good one. It's not gay if it happens underwater. I like
that one. I like that one too. Yeah okay. Alright so let me just read them out
again. Call me pest control the way I'm bug chasing. It's not gay if it happens
underwater. I had a leaky roof but Yanni P and Chrissy D glue gunned it like it's
Marines on Iwo Jima. For the table at least give me service of mouth that's
etiquette it's just what it is cuz and then shooting your glue gun into your own mouth aka stringles single stream recycling
Okay, single stream recycling still in staring. Yeah, that's still in for the table. We're gonna Drexler it for the tables out
Yeah, we're gonna direct to the for the table. Okay, and what do we got?
And then we got and then we have I had a leaky roof
But Yanni P and Chrissy D glue gunnedundit like two Marines on Iwo Jima.
Very good, but you're getting Drexler'd.
Getting Drexler'd.
Any other day, guys.
Any other day, guys.
So, and then we have, call me pest control the way I'm bug chasing, and it's not gay if it happens underwater.
Those are good ones.
Okay, so we got three left, right?
We have three left. My pick is it's not gay if unless it happens underwater.
What are you going?
I like the bug chaser. I like the bug chaser. Alright, come? We have three left. My pick is it's not gay if and unless it happens underwater. What are you going? Ooh, I like the bug chaser.
I like the bug chaser.
Yeah.
All right, come down to Yanni then.
I also like the single stream recycling.
We have to pick one.
It's coming in his own mouth.
It's single stream recycling.
All right, so I'm gonna leave, I'll leave.
It's a good one.
You pick.
Yeah, it's a tough one.
I'm gonna call it, I'm gonna, single stream recycling,
God damn it, bug chasing, those are my two.
Okay. Underwater's great. Underwater's out. Underwater's great, but any other day. All right, so between shooting your glue, I'm gonna single stream recycling god damn it bug chasing those are my two. Okay underwater
The water is out. Okay. The water is great
but any other day so between shooting your glue shooting your glue gun into your into your own mouth aka single stream recycling and
Call me pest control the way on bug chasing. God. Those are two fun. What do we think Jesse?
What do you like out of those two? I'm on record for bug chasing. Yeah, I'm on record for bug chasing. I'll go bug chasing
That's the winner. That's the winner. All right so I was gonna go single stream. So, so congratulations, call me Pest Control, the way on
bugchaser, you can see your name up in lights at History Hyenas is Back, historyhyenasisback.com,
you have the PPW, you won, congratulations. Yeah.