History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - How Socialism Destroyed Venezuela. The Hyenas go off!

Episode Date: November 6, 2025

Let’s take a wild trip down to Venezuela — from the discovery of its oil, to the rise of socialism, Chávez, Maduro, and the full-blown dumpster fire it’s become. We break down how one of the richest countries on earth turned into chaos, why Maduro and Trump are scrapping, and whether El Presidente is basically a cartel intern. What’s next for “Genezuela”? Only one way to find out: let the boys take you through the madness, the history, and the hyena-crying hilarity. Support our sponsors: Get the right life insurance for YOU, for LESS, and save more than fifty percent at https://SELECTQUOTE.com/HYENAS Quo is offering our listeners 20% off your first 6 months at https://Quo.com/HYENAS. https://bluechew.com Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://BetterHelp.com/HH #comedy #Podcast #History Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas/ Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit.ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0 Follow us Cuz! 🙆🏻‍♂️ Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ 🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ 🐕More Hyenas Website: www.historyhyenasisback.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/historyhyenas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HistoryHyenas Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/historyhyenaspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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See me in Bozeman, Montana at the Emerson Theater, November 22nd, Stanford, Connecticut, December 5th and 6, Austin, Texas, December 11th, and 13th. And Westniak, December 19th and 21st, Patreon.com slash history. Hyenas for our weekly bonus episodes. Enjoy this episode on Nicholas Maduro and Venezuela. What's up.

What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of History Hyenas. I'm Chris Stefano, a.k.a. K.a. Christy the Catholic with me as always, is Yonis Pappas, aka Yanni Greek Orthodox. A.k.a. Yanni analysis. Yes. Want to know why? Yonalysis.

Yeah, Yonalysis. I'm Yanni Mondani, and I'm also Yonalysis, because I'm looking at you right now, and I know that you feel like you don't like your haircut, but let me tell you something right now. Right now. The fans will agree, and the camera may not show it, but when you see them in person, the kid's got a bowling pole for a head, as you know. Yeah. So what you want to do is you always want to keep the sides.

a little short. You want to make it look like you're not in the military because that would be a buzz cut but you want to do have the cut of like a CIA or high level DoD official which is what you got

that's what I call a DOD cut short on the sides means you do paperwork you help overthrow governments but you're not fucking carrying a rifle and you don't say yes sir to a commander you're high up

that's a Pete Hanksaf cut and you need it because your head is big so you need less hair just like I should have more hair in order to make my head appear bigger because you're perfect right now you're 219 and your haircut

is perfect your proportions are right yeah thank you because you just made me feel super cute you're super cute and you're back to wearing what you should be wearing yeah which is sports paraphernalia yes it's what you're a white black kid and I like it I like it I'm going to take my my guy Steve Jaconi

Ricearoni to the Knicks game tonight today is his birthday so wish him happy birthday and take me the Knicks game and then I'm going to be honest with you right after the Knicks game I'm going to take him to West Garden and we're going to get rubbed down because the kid hasn't gotten late since 2022 or as we like to call it a little stop and frisk action a little stop and frisk we're getting stop and frisk we're getting a loophole which right now technically is illegal but mom donnie has created the new york city caliphate and he is bringing back prostitution baby welcome to mom donnie's mosque yeah i uh i am all for mandami i don't want

to see how it works out uh maybe it'll be good but what i do know is it is stevie ricerone's birthday so happy birthday stevie so when you take him to west garden do you have does he need a step stool to get on the massage bed 100% and it was and because do you get a two for one at the nick game because do you sneak them in a backpack sneak him in a backpack and it's already good i already called ahead and west gardener's already giving me half price because they don't have to there's not that much buy so they don't have to go with a full body so they said it's less work for us or what can he give you half price yeah it's like when you get a fence put up it's buy yard. Yeah. Right. So yeah, he's just less work for the for the Asian woman to do. Yeah, it's just what it is. So I'm looking forward to that. And I do feel good on my Knicks paraphernalia. Now, I did wear because Rag and Bone is now a sponsor of this podcast. So go, go Ragginbone, put in that promo code hyenas. And I got these rag and bone jeans that I have on right now. And I threw these puppies on today. They're right here. Look at these. Rag and Bone QQ jeans on Q top. And I was rag and bone head to toe this weekend for the Halloween fun. And

It felt like me, but it also didn't feel like me. So that's why what I did today is a little mix and match. I put on my rag and bone jeans and my New York Knicks jacket with my Kith cutie sneakers. Yeah. I think there comes a point where, first I want to say, you should wear more blue because it brings out your eyes. Yeah, thank you. I want to say that. Secondly, I want to say there does come a point, I think, in a person's life where they do just have to commit to believing in something.

Now, you're more... And for me, that's Catholicism. Yeah. You've just been going very hard. You're just, I think you're finally landing. You're back on Lynn. Yeah, it's just what it is. You know, when you play Monopoly and you go, you have to return to go?

Yeah, I think you've returned to Lynn. Yeah, I've returned to chrism and I've returned to linen. Yeah, because at some point you just got to choose something, right? Because mostly you're just like a honeypot's dream. 100%. You're an empty container that can be filled up any which way. Yes. But now you've been filled up with the light of Jesus.

It's what it is. The only thing that can sway me right now is the body of Christ. Or the body of a Latina. No, but that, not anymore, because unless you have a communion wafer in between your tetas, I'm not interested. Now, how do you repel the Latin women? Do you just hold up a healthy meal and they run? And they run away, yeah.

I just hold up, no, the Latino women, I mean, honestly, I'll probably always be able to get honey potted. Like, we're going to talk today about Venezuela. Right. And we're going to talk about how Venezuela and the United States. United States are about to go into a war. And it would be tough for me to be a soldier for the United States Army invading Venezuela because, I mean, I would want to bang everything big. Yeah. Venezuela's hot. Venezuela's hot. Colombia's hot. The Peru. I mean, they just got two things

and that's the coca bean. Yeah. And cute puss. I mean, gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous women. I mean, Latino women are, if aliens came and invaded this planet, I think they would take the Latinos to breed with. Yeah. Right? They would just take that. That's who the breeders are. They So just take all these ones. Absolutely, because if you do want to catch up in the birth rate race, I mean, why isn't just everyone assigned a Venezuelan refugee female? It's just what it is. Because you could probably push out, they're like puppies.

You can push out, I think they can hold 10 in their belly. Yeah. Yeah, it's what it is. They get pregnant big. Yeah, yeah, that's why it was weird when Octo mom got a show. They were like, that's just every woman in Venezuela. Latin 14. Yeah, I mean, they're just really good at getting pregnant Latin women.

Yeah, it's what, hey, look at my. life yeah what it is yeah it's just they get pregnant easy yeah it's just what it is and let me remind you my brothers and sisters if the light if you want to expose someone then the light will be turned back right on to you my friends we have spoken about this um i i don't really run i'm not on my social media anymore but i posted um this joke that i did about mom dana and i talked about you know i said the history hyenas bit that we have with the uh towels underneath the armpits we posted that and then a and you lost a few followers it did lose a few followers and then it was interesting because one guy um the kid Miro who uh is like you know uh you know who the kid Mero is uh is that

desis and Miro Jesus and Miro the kid Miro he wrote something in all caps like on my thing like this is a bad look bah and then he said you know you're gonna need you got a Puerto Rican baby mama you're going to need universal pre-K uh you know because basically he's saying Puerto Rican women have a lot of kids and he was like you need to sell those nix tickets to make and me and my guy showed me showed it to me and then somebody, I think, wrote, because he's a pro-Mam Dani guy, said, isn't your wife Jewish, Miro? So it's like if your wife's, so the thing is like you came at me, but then the fans reminded you that you have a Jewish wife and Mom Dani doesn't like the Jews.

Yeah. So what? So I'd rather deal with a Latino than you voting for someone who doesn't like Jewish people. Yeah. And you could have also said to Miro, get back with Dizus because nobody cares about what you say if it's outside of that podcast. It's just what it is. Welcome to my reality.

Yes. Yeah, because both of their careers just haven't been as hot since that podcast. It's what it is. And it's just one of those things where we will talk about Venezuela. Yeah. We will talk about Venezuela, but we will just go back to the truth of what this is. The enemy of my enemy is my friend. War makes for strange bedfell.

Remember this, my friend. Yeah. This is why liberals want to constantly tell you about Islamophobia. this is why they want to constantly tell you about how Mom Donnie it's so good. Now your group chat must be fucking fired up. Fire it up. Right. Fired up. Is this group chat, Chrissy? Yes, group chat

Chrissy. Or is it 4chan Chrissy? No, 4chan. Or are they both the same guy? And then we're also going to talk about, I don't know if we're on the Patreon or not, or the YouTube or not, but we always do know. We never really do know. We'll make a decision after the episode, which is what we always do. But we are going to also have to get into the specifics of Donald Trump fighting against Boko Haram

and because there is a Christian massacre happening there that the news does not want to talk about because they want it all to go towards the Palestinians versus the Israelis and the bottom line is baby gorgeous there's no genocide happening the genocide's happening in Nigeria against the Christians

Yeah I really want to hear what Godfrey has to say about what's going on in Nigeria right? Yeah, it's what it is yeah it's what is Godfrey who calls blacks the N-word more than anybody in Howard Beach ever could because to him if you're not from Nigeria

you're in N-word which is what and he yells about it all the time And he always loves talking about how Nigerians are just superior people. Yeah, which is, I, yeah. Everyone wants to believe that their people are superior people, that they're chosen people. Even the Greeks are guilty of that. Yeah. Yeah.

It's just what it is. It's just what it is. I think Nick, in some way, believes that the Ecuadorians are superior. Yes. Yes. And now Ecuador, now, that's a nice time. Let me just say that. The Venezuela.

Okay. If this does happen, if the jihadis do take over like you're talking about through their, through their caliphate, Mamdami. Yeah. To bring back the caliphate through Sultan Mandami. Yeah. I'll tell you what Jesse's going to do. Jesse's going to start talking like this.

Oh, what's the matter with a mia? You wanted to meet a ball. Welcome to my restaurant. I'm Italian. He's gutour. Yeah, he's going to lead into that Italian. He's going to lead into that Italian side. Big, big.

Big. And then Nick's going to go the other way and grow that beer down to his belly. He's going to grow that beer and go muddy-y-big. Nick can go muzzy big. Big. All you got to do is grow that just blonde beard and you're fine. Now, Jesse, just real quick, that's he sounded like a Patreon. rant, right? That's probably not

good for YouTube? It's all good. The world needs to hear it, man. What do you think? Did I tell a lie, Jesse, in that rant? I didn't hear any lie. You hear a lie? I don't think we heard a lie. You can disagree, but I don't know if you heard of lie! I just say we let it fly, you know, and see what, what Spotify

and YouTube does with it. It's what it is because, yeah, here's the truth. Here's the truth. The views can't get any worse. The views on YouTube are looking pretty... They're going down. They're going down, so that's socialism right there. Yeah, that's social and they're getting redistributed someplace else. Yeah, that's

what it is. So that's nice. Thank you. Yeah, but I do, on Spotify, I think we're pretty high up as far as comedy genre. Yeah. I'd like to say number four, and I like to lie. Yeah, I'd like to lie. He lied to the real estate kid who we were driving around with because we are trying to make an active move out of the studio because the Wi-Fi just doesn't work. Yeah. Now, we're going to talk about Nicholas.

Nicholas Maduro. It's a hard turn. But it's all inter, it's all interconnected. Now, I got to be honest with you, because you said we're going to talk about Maduro today, and I thought you were talking about sweet plantains because Maduro is one of my favorite Puerto Rican foods. I love a Maduro. Well, but through Maduro, we can talk a little bit about because there's allegations that there's money coming in and out from Hezbollah. There's allegations that he's in bed with the cartel. There's allegations that he's, well, I don't know. Maybe we should just check out his podcast to think what he says.

Nicholas Maduro has a podcast. So listen, it's not just former Hollywood sweethearts who are getting podcasts right now. No. It's also dictators. Yeah. Because Nicholas Maduro has his own podcast. It's called the Maduro podcast.

It's called the Maduro podcast, which is a cute name. So he has taken a page out of Trump, who is his nemesis, right? Trump is Maduro's nemesis, which is interesting. They are really, I'd say that they're, I don't know if it's more, it's not really a Djokovic kind of Nadal rivalry, but it's akin to it. Because let's set the scene, let's tell the truthy, Wuthi, Venezuela, of

I think all the South American countries are they, are they Central American or South American? South American, okay, South American countries, they had the most oil money. They were like, they were like the Saudi Arabia of South America and they had all this oil money, and they didn't distribute it back to their citizens

in the correct way. They line the pockets. It's very much like the Major League Baseball, where you're supposed to, the top teams are supposed to pay these luxury taxes and give it to the bottom teams and the bottom teams take the money, but they don't redistribute it and buy players. So it's very, very similar. Venezuela was not distributing this money properly

and they had a financial collapse. Yeah. They had a financial collapse and then they tried to jump on the backs of socialism real quick, but it didn't work at all. Now they actually, I believe they actually don't even have a sitting government. They have the Maduro's the dictator, but I don't think that they, I think there are, for real

like chaos, like famine is going on through Venezuela. It's chaotic over there. Let's set the stage and then build it back up. Yeah, Venezuela has the most oil. They discovered oil, I believe, in the 1920s. Right. And they have the most oil in South America. They are a founding member of OPEC.

Right. But now they are not in OPEC. Right. They were like, fuck you. They, OPEC said, fuck you, fuck you. And the state controls through the Petrelios de Venezuela, the PDVSA. This is the difference. This is like in America.

We have oil. too, but we have private companies that do it. The state owns 95% of, actually, no, I'm sorry, the state owns all of the oil production refining and exporting. Yeah, that's the problem, honey. And here's a little bit of the solution that America now is exporting more oil than we're importing because of fracking, which a lot of environmentalists say are no bueno, but we found a lot of oil. We got a lot of oil ourselves. Yeah, honey. So that's change the tables a little bit. Because look, if, all right, let's set the stage, because we could go all over the place. Set the table for me.

The table, because I was about to say, like, you always think, can't we just go to these countries and just take them over? Yeah. But then you got a mess, right? Then you got resentment. Yeah. Actually, wait, before you set the table, we're going to be back right after this because I got to go take a call from Pete Hegssef. Hun, you got to get life insurance now? You got to get life insurance.

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Like this. Here's the thing, because life insurance is never cheaper than it is today right now. Get the right life insurance for you, for less, and save more than 50% at selectquote.com slash hyenas. You can save more than 50% on term life insurance at selectquote.com slash hyenas today to get started. That's selectquote.com slash hyenas. Because have you heard open phone, remember the company open phone? They changed their name to quo. And I said, are the Dodgers going to draft him too?

Yeah. Now, Quo, I said, and maybe they should, because let's talk about something every business owner knows too well. Yeah. Missed calls. You don't want to have these missed calls because missing a business call, that's like watching money fly out the window and strained to your competitors' hands, okay? You don't want that. You want to use Quo. Yeah, Quo is the number one business phone system built for 2025, not 1995. It's rated the top choice for customer satisfaction with over 3,000 reviews on G2.

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You can even keep your existing phone number for free. Quo, no missed calls, no missed customers. Wow, we're already at 22 minutes. Yeah, because we're fucking going on a while, but I think 15 minutes of us going to have to go on the page, right? Yeah, we went a little, we went, I didn't know it was that long, because you did, that, that's what we call, wow.

I didn't, I was so enthralled by your rant that I lost time. As long as it's funny. Yeah. As long as we listen back and it's funny, because you can't be serious. I don't, I think it's going to be very funny. Yeah, because I'm on the borderline of serious and funny. I don't know if anything you say could ever be taken seriously.

Okay, good. Yeah. Yeah, but some of these fuckers do. And then I called out the kid Miro and that's probably stupid too. Not really. I mean, he just commented on something. He commented, he said it's going to be stupid for you to have that position. You were just making a joke.

Yeah, I was just making a joke. I mean, you're just making a joke. It's like, where's your sense of humor guy, where you wear your towel is a very funny joke. Yeah. It's a very funny joke. Yeah, and the mom, okay. It's just a funny joke. I mean, whatever.

But this is why I get off social media and I have to tell my social media, I don't even send me the comments anymore. We're not saying all people who voted from Mom Dami wear their towels like that. Well, we did say that in the bit. If you, no, but yeah, in the bit, because you have to exaggerate it. But what we are saying, if you want to reflect reality, is if you wear your towel like that, you voted for Mom Dami. That's what it is.

That's what it is. That's like a fact. Yes, like a good bit will be is for you guys to send us pictures at patreon. dot com slash history hyenas of just your towel underneath your armpits and then we know who you voted for. Yeah, I mean, it's like nobody who wears their towel like that voted for Cuomo or Silwa. No. They just did it. No. So we're not saying all of you do, but if you do wear it like that, we know how you voted. That's all you're saying. That's all you were saying. That's all you were saying. That's all you're saying. Okay. So, Venezuela, so go set the table for me or as Nick likes to call it

the peso. Oh, Flores. Sorry. Yeah. What's table again? Pesa. Pesa. Messa. Mesa. We'll set the messa. Nick likes this wants to set the mess. We're going to put the, we're going to put the comedic, the comedic comita on the pisa. On the pisa. Ready, muchachos and muchasas? Who got doors? Let's build some raskassiello with comedy.

Yes, and Nick's got an NWO shirt on and his future fat wrestling fan wife is listening live from Gettysburg, Pennsylvania right now. What we're going to do is we're going to show you one. Frame of Nick so you could start photoshopping him like you do us. And there will be one female wrestling fan out there who will see it. Yeah. And Nick will fall in and we'll contact Nick and be like, oh my God, I love wrestling, whatever. She will be a little heavy. Yeah.

She will be a little heavy. Yeah. Because female wrestling fans don't tend to live in metropolitan areas. No. They like to live in places like Uniontown, Pennsylvania. Yep. And then we'll lose Nick because Nick will move for love. Yeah.

And he'll move there. And the next thing you know, Nick will be courtside in a high school gymnasian watching Hacksaw Jim Duggan headline a card in a small area for $10 tickets. It's what it is. It would be happy as a clam. It's what it is.

It's happy as a clam. Yeah. Because he's a wrestling fan and there's nothing more authentic than going to a lower rung intramural fucking professional wrestling match in a local gym. And that's what Nick likes to do

and he's going to have a baby with this woman and he's going to name that baby whether it's a boy or girl, that kid's name is going to be Rick Flair. That kid's name is going to be macho man ready set. It's what it is. Nick, his name's going to be Vince McMahon. And so we're very, very happy for Nick.

Star Dust. And Nick, probably knowing Nick, he's probably the best venue he can get married at, is probably going to be Soul Joel's Comedy Club. That's probably going to happen. Which is where we're going to a wedding in March. We're going to a wedding in March. Yeah, Sergio has already asked for a ride there, and I say no. Yeah, has Sergio been invited?

Sergio's definitely probably going to get invited. Nice. Yeah, so go ahead. So let's see it to St.Each. This is the only history show where we get to the history. for about seven minutes. But that's why you listen. That's why you're here.

We also do have some good points coming about Venezuela. And I think I at least, if you take one thing from the rant, at least just take, just find your faith. Okay. So what happens here? Initially, we can't talk about Maduro without talking about Chavez and then talking about the guy before him, who I think his name was Perez. Okay. If his name wasn't Perez, just make him Perez.

Just what it is. Yeah. Right. So Hugo Chavez is the big one, though. Yeah. Hugo Chavez is the big one. So Perez is a corrupt guy. He's a corrupt guy, right?

During the 2000s, he brought oil prices, brought hundreds of billions of dollars into the country, my friend. Yeah, so, I mean, but Perez is in there. You know, we get a little crony capitalism situation. What does that mean, crony capitalism? Some people are skimming off the top. The elites are getting richer.

They're hiding money in offshore accounts. They're wetting each other's beaks, and the people aren't really seeing any of the revenue from their land. Right. Okay. So that makes fertile ground for what? Just like New York City, high rent prices and high cost living made fertile ground for socialism.

Right. Crony capitalism and lack of redistribution for that oil wealth creates fertile ground for socialism. Yeah. That is what happened. Socialism comes in and it grows from those roots. Yeah. It's just equal but opposite reaction. It's what we do.

The human species. We go from one extreme to the other. And boom. Chavez comes in. Who's Chavez? Chavez is a military guy, very charismatic. He gets jailed for two years. He gets out of jail.

His popularity grows. He's very charismatic. He's overwhelmingly popular. He storms in. He nationalizes the oil. He starts building all these social programs. And initially, it goes very well. Right.

People are happy. They got child care. Yeah. They got health care. Thank you. People got the stuff that they want. Poor people are happy. Yeah.

And then Chavez dies, 2013. He's got a little bit, something called cancer. It's what happened. A lot of people think the CIA gave him the cancer. Really? But that can't be proven. It can't be proven. Because the kid was smoking cigarettes, too.

It's probably not true because the kid was smoking cigars and he was going to Cuba and get his medical attention. Now, United States wants Hugo Chavez out. Why? They want Hugo Chavez because we have what we call a private company. They want to get their fingers back in there. Chevron wants to get their fingers back in there. Because there's a lot of Venezuelan oil.

We haven't figured out fracking yet. And they said Venezuela is keeping all the oil money for themselves. And you can't do that here. Well, if we get rid of Maduro, we'll fast forward. If we get into Maduro, I think it's estimated, you know, it'll shave like 10 cents off a barrel. Because we'll start importing from Venezuela. We also don't like that Venezuela gives its oil to China. Yeah.

We don't like that. They give the oil to China. We don't like that. No. We don't like that. Let's be honest. Why does China eat oil? Can't they just run their factories on duck sauce?

You got fired for a joke like that from Netflix. It's what it is, but it landed me back here, baby gorgeous. Nobody watched that show anyway. It was called Ultimate Beast Master. It was called Ultimate Beast Master. And I was on Season 2. It's what it is. That show was very funny.

They were trying to do American Gladiators. Yeah, it's what it is. Actually, no, I'm sorry. I was on Season 1. I don't even know what the season is. I was going I also want to say just real quick

at patreon.com slash history I got a ghost story for the room. I'm going to read everyone a ghost story. I'm going to try to come in each week with a ghost story and I'm just going to read it

and see if Nick gets scared. Yeah. It will know if Nick gets scared if he starts throwing on his ultimate warrior armbands. Yeah, it's what it is. That's what he's ready

to go down to the basement. Yeah. Let me tell you something right now, ghost. Yeah. So that sets the stage. Chavez dies. He appoints Nicholas Maduro as his successor.

Who's a sweet plantain. Who's a sweet plantain. So Nicholas Maduro comes into power at this point. Sanctions start hitting. Inflation is going through the roof. So is Nicholas Maduro a good guy or a bad guy? Well, I think 60% of Venezuelans right now say he's a bad guy. He's a bad guy.

Right. I think Americans on the right would say he's a bad guy. Right. I think Americans on the left, as per yuge, they are not into agency. Right. They're very big into grievance culture. Right. They'll go, it's a big bad of United States sanctioning them, not allowing socialism to be in its natural form. Here's just...

Yeah, it needs to be. Here's also the truth, too, with extreme leftists, is they just always want to go for the underdogs, whoever they perceive as the underdog. Yeah. And whoever they see, perceive as the disenfranchised, that's all they'll go for. And I will say this, it's just a fact. I'm just going to state a fact. No socialist revolution has worked. None.

As the Venezuelans would call it, zero. It's never worked. There's been plenty. There's been plenty. It just don't work. It just doesn't work, right? Because we can't have, as you said on the phone call, you can't have socialism without capitalism.

You just can't. I mean, we have socialist programs here, welfare, all that socialist. Yeah, it's propped up by capitalism. Yeah, I mean, so what does socialism even mean? I don't know. all the socialist countries that had socialist revolutions are now mixed economies. Some of them have a one-party authoritarian system. Like Venezuela.

Like, I mean, all, I mean, let's go down the list. I mean, the list just goes on and on and on. But Vietnam is always a good example because it happened recent. Yeah. They opened up their markets and the country just flourished now. All right. They went from rice shortages to now, like, being a massive rice exporter, you know, a foreign capital flood. But what is it?

Why does the socialism not work? Because at the top, these people just do that crony capitalism? You don't even care about your own uncle that much? How are you going to care about people you don't know? So you don't care about redistributing the rice and the money through the fields because you'll just eat it all. At the end of the day, everyone wants the wealth redistribution if they're not paying for it, but they're receiving it.

And everyone who is paying it doesn't want it. All the people who are chanting, let's redistribute it, can either afford it, like Billy Eilish, like afford it many times over, or they don't want it. Right. Because they're in the million bracket or the two million bracket. But when you're in the 30, 50 million bracket and you want to pander to your fan base, you'll say, why are there billionaires?

Yeah. But here's the thing. If millionaires really didn't want billionaires and they thought billionaires are bad because they have too much, then wouldn't multi-millionaires just stop charging now? Yeah. Wouldn't Billy Isles just do free concerts now? Yeah. You have enough. Right. So they don't. Right. Wouldn't Hassan Piker just stop charging on his super chats? Right. Because he's got multi-millions. Right. If you really hate billionaires, wouldn't you say, okay, I have enough now. Everything's free now. Right. For you don't have to, I don't have to charge you anymore. Right. So it's just, it's utopianism. It's idealism. It's got nothing to do with the real world. Like you believe in a state of grace. Like there's angels. Good movie. Yeah. Good movie. That's why I like that line. It's just...

Because you look cute and green, by the way. Thank you. You look like a really nice string bean. Yeah. At the end of the day, there is that truth that, like, you know, there's this belief that everyone who's rich is bad. Right. Like that somehow everyone who's elite had it handed to them.

Now. And what they always skip over the step of, oh, maybe those people just worked hard or they have more ability or whatever. But that's never the case. Well, that's why, that's why, to me, socialism, that's where the scary, part is is when you take away the competitive advantage and the free market and all that, you stifle the human creativity and you stifle our, you know, humans that want to go out there and make the world a better place or make more money, whatever. You take that away from people

and then everybody starts to get real depressed. Right. The best you, the only thing that's really worked is like capitalism with a heart, I think you would call it. Right. So Norway, Sweden, but then you go, oh, those are mostly homogeneous societies with a population of five to 8 million and then once now you've seen that they've allowed a lot of immigrants in they're having problems and taking a term for the right that's what it is so but those aren't socialist societies there's CEOs in norway these CEOs sure in Sweden it's mixed economy right it's a mixed bag it's a mixed bag like vietnam like china like everything else right capitalism uh I think one of the most ironic things and what marks could have never seen is that the only mechanism that works

for socialism is capitalism that's it's the only engine that allows socialism to work because if you don't have capitalism creating wealth there's nothing to socialize everyone's just the same poor that and also too this whole idea of like people get it handed to them that's almost never true even even the Kardashians didn't get it handed to them right you can disagree with everything about them that's fine but they they built that shit they built that shit on their pussy it's what it is however they did it they did it so the truth is nobody gets a hand to him And that's just an excuse that people who aren't where they want to be financially or educate or wherever they don't want to, they're not where they want to be in their life. So then they say the rich get it in hand to them.

It's all bullshit. It's all excuse. The only thing is it's going to repeat back to what your manager said to you. Look in the mirror. Lot of 14. If everybody would just stand up and look in the mirror and say, how am I responsible for my place in my life, whether I like it or whether I don't like it? What is my responsibility here? What did I do or not do to get me where I want to be or not want to be? It's always, always, always look within because that's where God lives.

Remember that? God doesn't live up there. God lives in here. I think nobody said it better than F. Scott Fitzgerald. And I believe it was F. Scott Fitzgerald. In America, families are always rising and falling, right? Yeah. What's the quote?

Is that F. Scott F. That's from the departed. That is from the departed. Originally, I don't think it's from. DeCaprio said that in the Departy. Did he? Yeah. Yeah. I think he was it Hemingway? By the way, the Leonardo DiCaprio that departed is

the Leonardo DiCaprio that most chicks want to bang. Yeah, and he does not look like that at all anymore. Didn't he? Fitzgerald's father. That quote, I think, is from F. Scott Fitzgerald. But also, it's from the departed. It's also from the departed. From the departed. You fucking quark

sucker! The quote is from Secret Garden by Franz Um, no, but this isn't it. No. Families, just go families. Families are a rising and a fallen in America, right? Yeah. Yeah, let's just make sure.

It was by Nathaniel Hawthorne. Nathaniel Hawthorne, families are always rising and a falling in America. And actually, he says Hawthorne in the movie The Departed. He goes, and then Mark Walburne goes, what's the matter? Don't you read any Shakespeare? Yeah. That's what you say? Because that's just a movie I like to move my monkey. Yeah, and

in Massachusetts, that would be, he would be Nathaniel Hawthor. Because make No mistake. Yeah. When I watched The Departed, I hit the ham candle. I hit it big. You hit it big, right? Those are the type of guys I want to bang out.

Yeah. And the town. Yeah. I watch the town. Well, if you think about who has it handed to them, it's a, if some people do, right, but it's a very small minority. Such a small minority. Small minority.

I mean, I think it's really, if you look at what is the 1%? The family of the 1% definitely has it handed to them, but a lot of them squander it. Yeah. Sometimes they squander it. Yeah. Just like, of course, with. willing to acknowledge that the very, very, very, very, very, very small percentage of of Muslims are terrorists.

Very, very, very, very small. Right. Like about 75%. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, so small. It's insane. I'm small in it.

I'm going to tell you who the real terrorists are right after this. Because you know this is my favorite ad to do on this show because I use it. I love it. And I want everyone to have those RHBs, those rock hard boners. And the only way to do it is Blue Jew. What do I say to you constantly? because I say, do you do not send me another dick pick unless you're blue chewed up? Yeah.

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this is about legacy or third legacy. Yeah, we even gave it to Nick because Nick texted us in the group chat and said that he was very concerned and he asked us if we could help him because he said he was watching Royal Rumble and he wasn't hard. Yeah, that's concerned. And he said, so what's going on? Like, I don't know what to do. I'm not rock hard watching Royal Rumble.

And I said, try Blu Chu. Yeah. And then he told me he went into a movie, he took a Blue Choo, he went into the movie theater and he started jerking off to Iron Claw. Yeah, I mean, Bluechuk can definitely help wrestling fans get hard. That's for sure. That's what it is. Yeah, that's for sure.

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That has got to be part of your weekly maintenance. Maintenance. And you and I, we both have to get our roofs cleaned, but I have to go for a little bit longer because I have a bigger head, so therefore I have a bigger roof. That's a lot. That's why, yeah, you can't put solar on your head because it's too expensive. Too expensive.

So we both been getting our roofs cleaned at Better Help, which is great. What I love about Better Help is they match you up with a licensed therapist. You do this little survey, they ask you these questions, and then you can pick everything, guy, girl, what they're like, what they're not like, and you can change at any time for free if you don't like the therapist, and it's all done for the comfort of your own hum. Now, I've used BetterHelp. I know a lot of people who have. It's just, look, if you're feeling blue, it's quick. Right. You get, and it's very flexible, and you can change your therapist at any time.

Because there's a lot of impediments to having to go to a therapist office, but BetterHelp takes that all out. because it's done online. Yes, and it's also very affordable. So they have over 30,000 therapists. It's one of the world's largest online therapy program. They've served over 5 million people globally, and it works. With an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. Right.

And it's awesome. And this month, and we actually gave this promo code to Nick, and he loved it. And he said it's really been helping him. This month, don't wait to reach out, whether you're checking in on a friend, like we checked in on Nick. or reaching out to a therapist yourself, BetterHelp makes it easier to take that first step. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash H-H.

When Trump put a tariff on Clay, how upset was Jesse? Very upset. And what did we say to Jesse? You need to talk to a professional at BetterHelp. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash H-H-H. The real terrorists and the cops. Yeah, no, our wives

Our wives They're always men That's right They're always big I don't think a woman Could go one full day Without being angry Something

Yeah, not being angry It's something So let's finish Venezuela Because make no mistake We're gonna do this I'm gonna read the Patreon names And then we're just gonna Google Venezuelan babes and take a peek

Yeah so Nicholas Maduro Comes to power And you know Eventually inflation Eventually oil prices tank Because why because they didn't, they weren't redistributing the wealth properly.

And I think because why did the oil prices tank, though? What happened? They just weren't managing it correctly, I think. Well, the global oil supply always gets, you know, it's like supply goes up, demand. It's all supply and demand. That's what OPEC is, what is OPEC? I think OPEC controls like 40% of global oil supply, and they just set the price. And they were formed, you know, advocates say, oh, we're going to just,

to make sure the oil market stays stable, right? We're like this body that makes sure to stay stable by these founding countries, right? Saudi Arabia is one of them. Venezuela was one of them. They're kicked out. Other people say, oh, that's so they can fucking... Manipulate the price.

Make sure the prices... Just like the Fed. Just like the Jews who control the Diamond District. Let's be honest. It's worth fucking nothing, but they control the supply and jack up the price. That's why I got two words for you guys out there

looking to marry your wives. Lab grown. Lab grown. That's something you don't want to know about. Women can't tell the difference and it's very cheap. And yeah, I'll be honest. I think people who are mostly of Jewish descent have controlled that market. Sure.

And the women loving shiny things has sustained that market. It's what it is. Because women are like moths. Yeah. Now how the moths fly into lamps. Yeah. You shimmer a diamond. Yeah.

They go pay 10 grand for that fucking worthless thing. Yeah. And I don't know if you can blame Jews. I think you can blame women. That's what it is. Because it's really just, you know, what the demand is. Let's go back to Venezuela for a second. How did you connect the families are always rising and fallen in America to what's going on in Venezuela?

Can you connect that? Because what you said was what happened in Venezuela, right? Right. And what is America like this big bad, big bad, cat? capitalist country. Right. And I think that what happened in Venezuela is one person gets control. Okay. So the people who vote for socialism always vote for socialism initially to get rid of some corruption. They got sick of corruption under Perez, I think his name was. And then Chavez comes in and then Maduro. But then what ends up happening is you just trade one corrupt person for

another because it's all about power. Right. It's all about power. America's very dynamic. It's more dynamic than people give it credit for. That's why that quote is relevant because it's never one group that has control. Only conspiracy theorists really believe that.

Believe in the Rothschild. People in our own business rise and fall. It happens all the time. Businesses rise and fall. Comedians rise and fall. It's how it is because But that's good because if you do it the other way then you have a monarchy. Very good. We have democracy. Every four years. We get a new person in, senators have to be elected, whatever. Now, a lot of people say it's rigged,

there should be more term limits. All that stuff is valid. I'm not saying, but when you compare it to what is out there in the world, it's very dynamic. And then here's the thing. His power, the power in Venezuela is static. Static. It's Maduro. And because what Chavez did do, though, he did take an authoritarian turn, is just what Maduro is doing now. But Chavez, even though he was beloved in the beginning, He centralized power. He controlled the legal system, the media, and the electoral institutions. He changed the constitution to allow indefinite re-election, so dictator, and he suppressed dissent and nationalized private companies. His rule became increasingly personalist, centered on his image as El Commandante.

Which one of the countries hasn't done that? Right. United States of America. Yeah, Mao's China did that? Yeah. Which country hasn't done that? Stalin did that? Which country has not done that?

Only the, only the boys have not done that. We have not done that. The United States has not done that. Yeah, the state takes, instead of the state withering away, which was what the initial idea behind communism was, the state always takes control. And instead of a bunch of billionaires, you get one trillionaire. And his name's Putin. And that's just how it always goes.

Yes, and Donald Trump is not going to do this. He's not going to centralize power. He's not going to change the Constitution for indefinite re-election. And it's like when I hear people say that, I go, shut up, he's not going to do that. But I think it's good that there's people always saying, you know, pushing back on his rhetoric because that's what makes America great. You're a liberal.

Way song she ain't. No, you need that. No, it's true. You do need that because, you know, that's what's great about the multi-party system. That's what's great about rule of law and term limits is there's always a, you know, it's always a dialogue going on and push back. Keep the science, because that's the only way we can get to the middle. is by pushback.

Why don't you just meet me in the middle? Because human beings are not evolved enough to govern themselves or govern others on principle. No. We always act in our own interest. All those people voting for Mondami or the people voted for Trump.

And this is right. Socialism doesn't work because the top will always act in their own interests. People just are into their own interest. You need a governing body. You need democracy. You need the wealth to be spread out. Because then even if the top wants to act in their own interest, There's only so far the president of the United States can go in democracy.

The more you look into it, people rallying against billioners. Yeah, billionaires got a lot of money, but they also do create a lot of wealth for others. Yeah. They also do create a lot of innovation for others. I think there's a good chance that if I go, if I go to the Whole Foods, if I go to the Whole Foods in Yorktown Heights, wherever it's close to the Yorktown Heights, or a story or wherever it is. Yeah. I think there's a good chance I'll be in the organization. organic produce section, and I'll look up from grabbing my organic pancake mix.

Yeah. And I think there's a good chance I will see AOC in the Whole Foods. Yeah. I think there's a good chance if we looked at the digital record of AOC on Amazon. Yeah. I think there's a good chance she's got more than 14 orders on Amazon. Yeah. I just think there's a good chance I'm not going to see her buying Wonderbread at the bodega.

No, no, no. I just don't think she's going to get eggs that expired four weeks ago. No. I just don't think there's a good chance. She practices what she breaches. No. And that's always the problem with people at the top of the power structure. They want the good cigars.

Yeah. They want the organic produce. I can tell you because AOC always talks about the white man and how bad it is. Your husband's white. Yeah. He's white. Yeah. He's a white man.

Yes. I don't know if she outwardly... It's hard to resist two things, and that's white cock. Live 14. Even Nick can't resist it. So at the end of the day, that's a fundamental problem in socialism is people just start to feel like things get a little stagnant. They don't get motivated because what motivates people to innovate is they want to fly on jets and be a court side for a Jake Paul fight. That's what it is.

And whether you get there or not is irrelevant, it's the motivation and it's the effort to do it. Right. can't take away people's effort. Yes, it's just, that's what motivates you is people are just motivated by self-interest. Right. And when you work really hard, you want to get rewarded for it, and it's just human nature. Like, for example, let's say, and this is relevant, it is a relevant analogy. Let's just say we're all on a class together. Now, if we were all on a class together, it wouldn't be to learn how to code, no, or anything scientific. No. But let's just all say we're in English as a second language, because that's the only class we'd all be in together.

That or we'd be- Because the IQ in here is probably about a 1.6. Yeah, or honestly, the only other way, if we're not doing a podcast, the only other way us would be in here is if we're taking a stand-up comedy class. That would be it. And we're trying to learn the art of stand-up comedy. Yeah, that would be it. Yeah. Because if the four of us were to class together, it wouldn't be for advanced chemistry.

No, it would not be. Yeah. So let's just say we're all in English as a second learning class. Okay. Second language. Okay. Now, let's say you get a 4.0. Okay.

Now, let's say I get a 2.7. Right. Now, we know Nick is probably going to get 2.1. Right. No, I think Nick's the smartest guy in here. He might be. Okay, so he gets 3.8. Yeah, I'm going to get the lowest grade

because I'm just going to keep speaking to everyone in German. So what you say is, if it wasn't for Nick's Shakespearean actor dream, he actually could probably have a really good job. No, I think he really would be have a really good job. He just had this dream where he wanted to be a theater actor. Yeah, it's what it is. Yeah. Now, Jesse...

And to him, that dream is still alive. He's still alive. And now, Jesse, I know for a long time, Jesse, in a lot of areas, is legally retarded. Okay? Like, it's beyond dyslexic, it's like legal retardation. Right, right. We can tell when he searches things on chat DBT.

When it comes to, like, writing and math, like the basics, no. Artistic genius? Genius, actually, yes. Genius and also pretty smart guys for his concept. Very good, understand stocks and the market very well. And he's good with money. But as far as, like, simple stuff. So let's say Jesse gets a 1.6.

He also wouldn't attend because he got a GED. Right. So he would, you know, he would see one group of kids outside the school acting unruly. I'm not going back to that school. He's not going to do it. Jesse likes the safety of his studio where he can sculpt fat people. It's just what it is. He gets a 1.6 with a bad attendance record.

Yeah, I just know that any Christmas or birthday gift, I know what to get Jesse, and that's Clay. That's what he needs. That's just you just, I just buy him more and more clay. Now, I get a 1.7 because I'm fucking stupid. Right. I'm actually going to give the highest grade to you because you're a go, go, go. And you do have that Germanic thing in you from Lynn

where it's like, you're going to get to the top of the HR. department. Yeah, it's just what it is. Yeah, we're just going to get there. We're just going to get there. We are going to be at the top of the HR department at the Bank of Nova Scotia. I'm going to get my Filipino doctor degree. It's what it is just what it is. The only one of physical therapy of Filipino doctor degree is a 10. I have a Filipino doctor degree. You do. And you just got it. So you are the fucking high, most highly educated person in this room. And let's be honest, I would find a way, whether it's a guy or girl to be banging the teacher. Yeah, you're of highly motivated guy who doesn't like to sit still. You're a motivated guy. Motivated kid. Yeah. You didn't get your success just by sitting around. You can't sit around. No, my feet are always moving. Yeah, you're moving. So you're going to get a three, nine, seven. Yeah. Okay. Now, if me, Nick and Jesse said, this isn't fair, this isn't fair, okay? These grades are not equal. Right. And we said, we want to take a couple of points of your degree and give it to us. Right. Would that be fair? That would not be fair. That would not be fair. Now, I think it's fair because I want a higher degree. Right. Right. But you don't think it's fair. No. But there's more of us. Right. So we intimidate you.

and say, I know there's one of you and your big kid, but the three of us could take you like fucking fire ants. We can. Yeah. But this goes back to what we were saying before, where this is why these people want socialism and this is where, in fact, they subconsciously voted from Omdani and love him because they want to even the playing field because they are not happy with their grade. That's exactly. They are not happy with their grade. And ultimately, it's been proven time and time again. The only way you can subjugate the individual for the sake of the group is by force. Right. And so that becomes the role of the state. We don't let dissidents in. We don't let other opinions in. We control the media. We just control everything because it's the only way you can do it. Because guess what happens?

When you subjugate the will and the potential of the individual, then individual rights inevitably become forsaken because it's all about the group. So you become just a cog and a wheel that's very dispensable. Yeah. Because it's all about the group. group. You're just a number, babe. So that's what happens. People start getting thrown out of windows and nobody can say anything. But we're like, oh, we're all for the group. We're all for society. Society starts taking precedence over the individual and the leap in logic is lost

and that logic is the society is just an aggregate of individuals. So it becomes this amorphous concept. We're all for the society and the betterment of society. And what they forget is society is just fucking an aggregate sum of individuals. That's what it is. We're all pieces of the pie. Without the pieces, there is no fucking pie. What do we say? We're all bees in the same hive, Bubba's. Yeah. Yeah.

Some of us are in different hives. It's what it is. Some of us just have HIV. Some of us are in just different algorithms. Those are the new hives were in different algorithms. Now, some of them are just going to be in Hassan Minaj's new podcast algorithm. And some are they going to be in Theo Vodz. It's what it is, but we're all in the same height.

Yeah, one talks more education, but at least he doesn't lie about powder coming to his daughter. It's what he is. So here we go. I love how uncomfortable. you get what I throw one of those out there. Yeah, but I just, it's okay. It's okay because it happened. It happened.

So here we go. Even Ronnie Chine made fun of them for it. Ronnie Chang. I forgive them for it. I forget. I think it's great. Yeah. I think it's great.

I like it. I like, I just want to say now that Boko Haram has sent an envelope full anthrax to my house. It's what it is. And that's where we're going to bring up baby gorgeous is because you want to know, we want to talk about what's happening in the news right now and that Donald Trump is blowing up boats in Venezuela and they're saying they're going to have a ground invasion. potentially in Venezuela and a lot of people think it's for a good reason. A lot of people think it's for a bad reason. And I think I'm on the fence right now. We're going to learn about it here

together. But I do know that whatever Donald Trump does with Venezuela, I ask him to do it swiftly and I ask him to do with grace because he needs to focus on the big prize, which is Boko Haram and the persecution and killing of Christians in Nigeria by Islamists. And that's what Trump needs to really be fighting against is Boko Haram and the Islamists. Now here's the deal. So Venezuela, we've opened the new full. front against Venezuela. It's just what it is. We're opening up front. We're starting to murder people in the sea. Like Adolf, we got too many fronts going. That could be possible. But what's happening is we're not the only ones. I think Brazil,

Argentina has also designated, what do they call it, the Cartel de Sol or something, which is just a made up name for military generals who may be involved in drug trafficking. So you've got Brazil and Argentina fighting that want to fight Venezuela. That's going to be called the War of the Fake Bots. Yeah. Well, what they have agreed with us on is designating the cartel as a terrorist group. Yeah. So that's what Trump has done. He said this is a terrorist group. Not Venezuela. It's just the specific group. Right. And I think it's the Cartel del Sol. I think it's Cartel de Sol. And there is no real Cartel de Sol. Like there is the other cartels, but it's a word that's been given to whoever's in Venezuela doing drug stuff.

just what it is. So what we've done by doing that, by designating them a terrorist group is by going, now it's okay for us legally to kill you. Right. So that's what it is. It's what it is. So obviously, you know. But they are probably most likely just killing innocent people. I mean, look, who knows? There is drug trafficking going on in Venezuela. Now, we do got this guy. I think we caught up in Miami. He was a former general. And I think he's going to flip on Maduro. Because much like Noriega, we're trying to get him. There's a $50 million bounty on Maduro's head right now. So somebody's going to turn him in. Yeah, Pam Bondi put a $50 million on his head. So unfortunately, Maduro's not doing his pod right now.

Maduro is doing his pod from a hideout. So, yeah, that's just what it is. And the opposition leader is Maria something. She's also in hiding. Everyone who's trying to be a leader in Venezuela is in hiding. Wouldn't the United States want her? No, well, because Maduro's people want to kill her. And the people want to kill Maduro. Venezuela is not a cute place to take a three-day vacate right now. No, it's not, I don't even think you could fly there. Also, do they have any infrastructure at all? Nobody's going there.

Of course they do. I mean, they built up in the 50s and 60s, it was a glory era. The oil money was flowing in. You know what I'm saying, like, are the kids going to school? Do they have like any type of economy working at all? Or is Venezuela truly off the rails right now? They're off the fucking rails. They are off the beam.

It's one out of 10 Venezuelans has fled the country. I think it's something like 7.7 to 9 million Venezuelas have fled. Yeah, so they have fled. And it's just pandemonium right now. But this started happening a few years ago, Venezuela started to collapse. We're invading now, but didn't this happen in like 2019? Right? It's been years.

And there's been, for about a decade long, there's been accusations that Maduro is involved in the drug traffic. So Venezuela faces a severe humanitarian crisis with widespread poverty, food insecurity, and a cripple economy that is a fraction of its size, compared in 2013, okay, this was all Nicholas Maduro's authoritarian rule is the fault of this, which is this is what happens with communism and socialism. And then in 2024, there was an election and he came out on top. But the consensus, I think, internationally, is that it was a rigged election. And they don't recognize the rest of the world doesn't recognize this as the result. So they recognize it as all the other countries, like you've basically taken over a country that isn't yours and we're taking it back.

Right, right. We've become the world's police again, in the way. We still are the world's police. And this is just right now... How do you see this playing out? Oh, Maduro's toast. Maduro's toast. He's toast with Nutella on it.

He's not going to go do an interview with David Letterman like Zelensky. He's not. He's toast. I mean, he's toast right now. The only thing that's keeping him afloat is China and Russia. So China and Russia are backing them simply is the main reason because they buy their oil, but is the bigger reason because they want to fight with us with the United States? Is it another proxy war?

No, it's a little thing called we continue to give you loans and we continue to help you out and you give us nice, cheap oil. Now, will, if we, if the United States doesn't in fact invade Venezuela, will China and Russia back Venezuelans and send them troops? Because that's a little thing that gets a little bit closer to a little thing we like to call World War. Well, America is not going to invade Venezuela. Well, didn't Donny T. say that they might? Yeah, but he says stuff all the time because that's what he does. He's just, he's... Well, he better invade Boko Haram.

Yeah. But what is, what is going to happen is I think he's given the green light to the good old three letters, and I don't mean HIV, okay? The three letters, the good old American three letters, they're called the C, I, A, to go have fun. Got it. They got the green light. Yeah.

They got to go. So maybe they'll do a little regime. They got the Steph Curry shooting green light. So will they do a little regime toppling? Will they do a little inside info? They're going to do something dirty? Well, they do like, will you start to see protests? Will they start to kind of just take over like a little sci-op stuff?

What are they going to do? They're going to do a little Havana syndrome? Are they going to do a little, what was the shit we talked about last week? Are they going to do a little bit of the, what do we talk about last week? Well, what they, what he did say? What is it called the mind control? Oh, yeah. They're going to do it?

I forgot what we talked about last week. What was it, Isaac Bentacoff, Jewish kids, remote viewing? Yeah, they're going to do it. that? Well, I don't know what they're going to do, but I'll tell you what did happen. Trump went to the CIA and he said, I want you guys to have a canvas. He said, Venezuela is your canvas. He's Bob Ross. Yeah, he said, here's your canvas. There's no mistakes, happy accidents. Yeah, he said, here's your canvas. You want a canvas? Here's your canvas. Now, paint. Yeah. Paint me like your French girls, Jack. Yeah. So that's what it is. We're painting. We're just painting. We're painting the

girl in the pearl necklace. We're having fun. And I think Maduro's going to fall into the sea. Yeah. You think Maduro's going to have a little. accent, he might get a little cancer too. I think Maduro's going to be fried up and become a tostone. Oh, yeah. I think he's going to become a plantain. He's going to be covered in fucking bullets of honey. Yeah, so the U.S.

Here's the one thing. We're still top of the food chain. We're still top of the food chain because the one thing, the one thing that I understand there's many things to dislike about him to certain people. I understand as many things to like about him to certain people. This is not, you know, advocating for against Donald Trump. But the one thing you all do have to admit on both sides is the man does not fuck around. He does. He does not

fuck around. Well, when it comes to stuff like this, he just, your boy does not fuck around. He does. He does a little thing called fuck around and find out. He does a little thing. That's what he does. He does a little thing called we're going to restart a nuclear program because

you know, we want to compete with China and Russia. Because make absolutely no mistake. The kid carries himself like a drug dealer from Baltimore and when he does inevitably I'm going to do it with a do rag on. We're still Humans haven't evolved to the point where we're past geopolitical jostling. We do have, it's still all about power.

Now, on X, in the headlines, it's still all about, you know, you hear morality, you hear this, you hear that, but the players are still playing the power game. And if we were to go all moral, there would be a vacuum. And that's why we're in Ukraine. That's why we're in Venezuela. That's why we want to go to Nigeria. That's why we're in Panama talking about the canal, and we're about to win that. Because if we don't take it, China will.

Right. So that's just the consensus between parties. That seems to be the reality. It's not a unipolar situation anymore. This isn't the fall of the Soviet Union. China has risen. China has risen. They have risen, yeah.

And unlike Israel, that's just the regional power. China is a global power. Right. And they want it all, baby. Yeah, because Russia has kind of unveiled themselves as not being as strong as we thought, but China still could be real strong. Yeah, and Russia's still up there.

They're still strong, but we're stronger. We're stronger. China, you know, they're coming up, baby. Yeah. And sometimes you've got to be Tanya Harding. Yeah, it's what it is. Sometimes you have to be Tanya Harding. Yeah.

we know we can't win the race we don't have the educated population to win the race no okay how did Malaysia and Singapore get so fucking good discipline yeah kids go to school for 14 hours yes they recycle water they desalinate they're doing all types of shit we don't do that we do TikTok yeah we do TikTok yeah we do TikTok and we hit you

with the baton in the knee yeah so we do TikTok and we do ticks we do ticks and we do tick and tick so yeah that's what we're good at yeah let us do what we do yeah because we still can squeeze out another 20 years of dominance. Yeah, it's what it is. Just let us hit you with the hammer in the back. Let us call Jeff Gublegoly. Yeah, before.

What's that guy's name? Before we get fucking formally overtaken by the giant walk in the east, let us still do a little cooking. Let us cook in pots and pans for a couple years. It's just what it is. Yeah. It's rock and roll until it's walk and roll. Way song she ain't. So, here

we go. Why is my nose? Honey, we're at the Patreon. Patreon. Patreon.com says history. Thank you. Welcome to the Matrarch, our newest members. We love to read the names at the end of the episode. Yonis knows it's running. He's doing coke in his basement. I have diarrhea. It's what it is. Of the nose. So here it is. Nick McIntyre, Joshua Hotmer. Then we got, I heard some dings. Okay. I'm on the list. Really? Chicken finger on the list. Instead of I heard some things, I heard some things. I heard some things. But that also could just because maybe it's your AC unit. I don't know what it is.

And if you don't know what things are, things could be anything. Yum. Just they're technically something that, It hurts your quality a lot. It's what it is. And don't forget at patreon.com slash history aina's, we are going, I'm telling a ghost story to the room. Yeah. So it's going to be cute. Showneck, Augustine, Laura.

Then we got blurry peace from the far east. Call me John China. John Chena. Good try. Okay. Brandon Norton. Rosa Parks' husband had a car. That's just a fact, I guess.

We're putting them on the list. It's a good fact. I don't know, but it's hilarious. It's funny. Yeah. Then we got Puerto Rican pussy rat. and two sharing an account like a chew okay Puerto Rican pussy Rattler might have made chicken finger yeah that's a what's a definition of a chicken finger cutter Lee John Vernon then

we got patriotic penis pump filled with red white and glue great one chicken finger hunter Eaton scrubina hyena Michael Janintrelli Alp Karagoga Buzz and Neal's zero G moon glue established in 69, James Rivers, Slavmeister, UA, go-go-gadgett, Greg, Hope is my hedge, facts are my proof, I'm already coming. Drexler. We haven't said that in a while. Hope is, we have so many things that we just do for two weeks and then they're done. Hard to remember. Hope is my head, facts are my proof. I have to remember that. It really is. But ham candle is sticking. Ham candle has stuck, so congratulations. I mean, shout out to you. Dax, Logan, Ben, Bennett, Brandon Milsk, lips of a Leroy P.P. of Chingus Khan.

Way song she ain't. That's funny. Nice combo. Ethan Holmes, Teal Allen, Will Clark, Jesus Guavera, Leroy Peace with a Jesus piece, Yamin, Oscar, Stephen, two bears, one grave, because that podcast is dead. It's what it is. We're going to give that a Drexler. I'm a torta pounder, call me an ice pick. Oh, I'm a torta pounder. call me an ice pick, I-C-E. That is really good. Torta Pounder is...

He's a Ponda Pounder, and so he's a pick for ice? Yes. Contender. Contender. Contender. There we go. Yes. Contender. That's a catapult.

Put it out. That's a good one. Catapult him right onto the list. Calling a Latino woman's vagina, a Torta. And saying that the Torta Pounder could be a new one for Mexican. Now they're adding to our Lexicon. Yeah, it's what it is. And Nick Giggled and put his head down so you know it's good.

That's a good one. Jared, Justin Gilbert, Scott E, John Rubio, Simon Sonsum, Crispy Frisbee. Then we got... Whoresy. Is one that got by you. Okay? That's a really bad one. That means it's a cooked Jew.

Yeah, all right. Sorry about that. That's not good. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Then we got my monkey... It's crispy, crispy, Jesus Christ. I mean, yeah, Jesse hit the Wayshod Sheet, even though I blew past it.

How do you want your frisbee? Yeah. My monkey was moved. This time, the... Okay, hold on. My monkey was moved. This time, the, fumes, don't know who did it, was, okay.

I can't read this one. This time there were fumes. Don't know who did it. It was probably the Jews. Okay, I don't know. Okay, it's probably a walk the in one. Okay. Weekend at Bernies, B-U-R-N-I-E-S.

Preston. Wait, B-U-R-N-I-E-S weekend at Bernies. I don't know what they mean. Maybe they were spelling it differently. Bernie. Okay. Preston, New, House, Jake Sama, no, Jake Cam's, Nagasaki, it to me, little boy.

Nagasaki to me little boy, all right. Nagasaki, okay, yeah. B. Marshall 24, Kyle, Jared, Ryan Startler, Ryan Brennan, Theodore, top squeak, Commander-in-Chief, the name is Lido Sage, Josh Stewart, Ben Daiahu, MS-13 tramp stamp. Put him on the list. Okay. Yeah, that's a good what. Evan Lee.

He got his MS-13 tattoo at his lower back. It's what it is. Or a girl. Very funny. Evan Lee, Sean Murray, Corey, Jen, Jacob Smith, Chrissy P with a leaky V for conspiracy teas. Creatine, Chrissy, Alan Tudyck coming. Had pineapple juice, my cum tastes the same to me. Rexler, good one.

Good one. Any other day. Don't worry, Chrissy. Tony Hinchcliff and MSG on 81525 was M. D. Good to know. It's what it is. But that was, you had two shows.

Oliver 4TIA. Is that lint in your belly button? Are you just happy to see me? Motsamut. Mutzumut's very funny. Chicken finger. Mike Durst, Jake Jones. Why do I also have to watch for ice in Mexico?

I don't know what that means. Just a question. Just a question. Yeah. Samantha Metteria. Iridated by gays, call me LGTBBQ. iridid so good it just needed a punch up LGTBQ is very funny

Like barbecue and irrigated by gays Means he's been Iridated Iridated That's almost Yeah It's I'm gonna give it a Drexler because the LGTBQ is very funny Tin tin just left that

Yeah Tin Tin Meyer Who do I have to fuck to get a goddamn chicken finger Kylie Potts Give him a chicken finger There it is you got one Austin Ramusin Chrissy sucks peen when he's off the beam. True.

Probably true. Zellmere. Had a joke about September and Plains but forgot it. Okay. Sydney-Sweeney's tits could be that big under communism. It's what it is. No, sorry, Sydney-Sweeney's tits could never be that big under communism. What is what is? I mean, she has cans.

She's got cans. And what I love about her is like she's leaning into it. Well, my father said this is like Marilyn Monroe. This is the same exact thing as Marilyn Monroe. She was like this iconic sex symbol that people couldn't take when she was, you know, younger. Broadway makes you gay.

Just look at Hugh Jackman. Amen. Hyena with a stinky mangina. Manhina. Hayita with a stinky mangina. Manjina? I don't know what that means. It's a mangina.

Okay. Yeah. Donny T. squatting over the cup at Fumar Lago. Drexler. D. Mann. Al-Waleed. David Schleis.

Miner, no, David Shekmalizur, Fumare Shafumes, Mike Oxlong, P. Dunk 1776. Muzzy Women calls me Moses because the way I spread them cheeks open. Very good. Yeah, okay. Good for you, sir.

Yeah, I didn't Drexor that. That's a good one. Cash shoes and Bakem, LLC. Alton. Oh, my God, he got you. He got you good. I love how they're slipping him by him. Catch. Yeah. I'm the only one who caught that.

Yeah. Yeah, because they're old cashews. Yeah, that's what he meant. Jeez. I mean, look, it's bad. Yeah. The creativity is astounding. Yeah.

When people want to do racist things, they really, I mean, put a lot of effort into it. That's really what drives human ingenuity. Yeah. Alton, then we got Sugar Ray Leroy, Southwest Airline Champ. Jeffrey's Permits for Pizza LLC. Screwed in. Yeah. My uncle's.

said it's not gay if I identify as trans Cole Pugliano you get the Sauce Monkey Award The Eternal Frisbee I think we've had that one Rob C Gertz Brooks we've had Once I'm out of cum I start code switching

Chris the vitamin water tastes a little tangy From your when you're shit in the thing Barde Asan Moving more than Chrissy's closing dates Master Kilbasi Denny Darts his glue gun through that fume hunt

squeak mill like meek mill squeak mill funny blue chew benny sir a second theo vaughan hit the beacon what sir a second Theo Vaughan hit the beacon meaning like I guess because Theo had those two bad shows

or I don't know what Very inside very inside He's be looking thick as hell underneath those go sheets I mean that's a walked in a way Jesus Christ Say the full word Yeah they're called Sandra D's

Yeah, that's bad. Jesus, yes, Pidot, Yanni, yes, Muson, asked Dr. Lukash. Okay. Chrissy carried Khashoggi's briefcase full of Monday. Yes. That is true. It's true. Suck a fart out of the straw.

Okay. Can't this family. Can't say that. Can't do that one. No fumari treats. Can't do that. On bicycle seats. Yep.

Post Optimus Prime, the real transformer. Yeah. Chips and salsa monkey. Interesting. We've had. Okay. We've had that. Joey Karate with the Dee's piece for an Eastern Hemmy?

For an Eastern Hemmy. Congrats. Nice. Yeah. Mommy Issues and a choking fetish, a.k.a. George Freud. Latter 14. That's a good one, dude. Yeah, but I don't know.

I mean, the creativity. Can you say it again? Mommy issues and a choking fetish, aka George Freud. Oh, God, it's so good. It's bad. Nick's not laughing. I know, because, but it can. Can we just take a moment?

George Freud. George Freud. Mommy issues. We need to do it on Patreon. Look, we need to do it. Okay. I don't know which one of us is going to compile the list because we'd have to look back. Sabrina the hyena maybe can do it because she's so good at it. We're going to do on Patreon a walked in a one award.

You deserve your due, but it has to be behind a paywall. Yeah, it's what it is. They're all bad. We don't agree with them. Yeah. Just creatively. Sicilian Puppa Peace with greased up knees sliding into Chrissy's bussy with laser eyes like Yanni P. Way, Sean King. Thomas. Rights left, votes right.

Chicken figure. Then we just have a period. Tits out for Tuddy. Oh, that's are you garbage? Welcome. Evan. Muhammad, my foreskin, didn't stand a chance, Rashad. Good point.

He got's clipped. Nick Vegas. Dirty Lufa. Matthew Medina. Michael Richards' new role as Willie Wonka in Leroy. and the it got cut off Leroy and the something

Welcome Cuzz Hand me a Spearmint I have Taco Breath Um Tyler Nickum Drew Dems Lauren Bobert

Pissing on her hands Uh Wolf in Sheeks clothing Brandon Katie Rose Brad Coaster Fumare

Jewry Taylor Green Fumar Joree Taylor Green Can you go for that All right Give him credit for trying to work for Mari into another name. Yeah. Besides Mari Stademeyer.

Enrique the Freakee. Nice. Welcome. Joshi, make no mistake. Yanni can poke my boy Panani with his salami Tametta. Chris Etheridge. Brucey, the pseudo penis power washer Martin. Alios Shikgruber.

Cute Leroy Peace. Pekipsy, one-way car service. And then we got the last but not least general manager of Mamdani's harum. Okay. Well, we got here is we got a couple of good lottery picks, but I mean, it was a pretty uneventful draft after the first lottery. And that happens, though. It happens.

They all got their own personalities. So just to have, here are the names, MS-13 tramp stamp. Love that. I heard some dings. Love that. Rosa Parks' husband had a car. Yeah, love that. Or I'm a torta pounder.

Call me an ice pick. I think we know what's going to go on. Let's go one at a time. MS-13 tramp stamp We're going to chicken finger that Any other day If it wasn't for the tort to pounder Which I think is going to win

Yeah because tort to pounder Also sounds a quart to pounder And I just like it I heard some dings He heard some dings We're going to chicken finger that These chicken fingers Rosa Parks husband had a car

Which is if that's a fact That's funny Yeah it's funny We're going to directs for that one Okay so you got the closest But the winner clearly is I'm a torta pounder Call me an ice pick

Yeah that's perfect You are the winner your name up in lights, history hyenas is back.com or history hyenas pod.com. Tell your friends, we have a lot of fun every single Thursday at YouTube.com slash history hyenas. We love doing our episodes. We thank all the fans for sticking around. And then we have even more fun. And we start telling ghost stories at patreon.com slash history hyenas. So go over there right now and just continue to heat. Listen to us.