History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - January Bonus Calls!

Episode Date: March 7, 2020

This Cuzzies are here with another round of bonus calls from November and December where we talk to our wild members! Whether you're straight to the back, an upfront FF or spinning the wheel, talking to you guys is always a blast!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

what's up cuzzy wuzzies you're listening to the bay ridge boys history hyenas bad I always love these phone call episodes because we just start recording. It's good. I'm not saying that sarcastically either. I just like it. Vanity has said it's a good idea. Let's ask them if they were at the live show. You look like a DJ who's in the middle of DJing right now. Yeah.

Like, you know, is about to. Yeah. Because they always wear them underneath like that. Is that the new way you're going to wear them? Or you have to wear them? I don't want to have. I don't want. I have a show tonight.

Yeah. That I don't want to do, but it's for Hundo. So you got to do it. It's just a quick. You got to do it. It's for. It's a. Heybird. It's for, it's Hey Bird's hosting. Oh, you're doing over there. Hey Bird.

Maho Patel. It's a good show. Is he good, that kid? He's a good, he's a nice kid, but it's a high-end show. Yeah. High-end people. But I have on fry boots. Should I not be wearing this outfit?

I mean, it doesn't matter. We're comedians. It doesn't matter. I'll come in with those fries and my jacket on. Yeah, it's fine. I think I wore a t-shirt. Like, it's fine, but it's just a cool-ass show in a cool-ass venue. Like, a really cool venue.

It's at the hotel, right? Hotel. It's really cool. You're going to like it. Yeah. You want to come with me or no? I got a spot. Oh, that's right.

Yeah. What time is your shit? They said I'll go on first at like 9.30 after the dinner. That's exactly my spot. All right. Our first one is Vicerocks. Vicerocks. Okay. Yeah, I want to go to Gotham. Maybe I'll come meet you right after my dinner. That's exactly my spot. Alright. Our first one is Vicerocks. Vicerocks? Okay. Yeah, I want to go to Gotham. Maybe I'll come meet you right after my son. I want to go get Lions,

Tigers, and Squares. So just meet me right afterwards. Okay. Depends if I have a two. Yeah, you gonna have a two? I may have a two. Yeah. I thought you were gonna slow down a two. You do know 420 listens to this. Oh yeah, it was just a character piece.

Yeah. I really really really Truly like 420 Like I like her a lot So it doesn't matter if you get it She's just like No fumare I mean cero No fumare

This one is Luis Toot is my pronoun to Stefano. There we go. This girl's just... She made herself my wife. I mean, people are coming out for it. Girls are mad.

There's a 26% chance when we call these people you cracked them open. You don't remember. Yeah, one of them's just going to be like, Chris, this could be a girl you cracked open. Yeah, but why haven't you called me since I cracked you? I'll just be like, it's character piece. I mean, these people aren't picking up.

They're losing. I mean, we'll call them again. But I mean, it's like, yeah, because we just go. Hello? Oh, my God. Hey, what's up? Is this Mrs. DiStefano? This is she.

Wow. What's up? It's Chrissy Daniani. P, how you doing, babe? I'll tell you how she's doing. She sounds like a pa-pa-pa- she's doing. She sounds like a pop. You sound like a peas. That is all the validation I've ever needed.

Yeah. Now let me ask you a question. Were you at our live show at the Gramercy Theater or the stand? Yes, at Gramercy Theater. Wow. Okay. So we're asking anybody who was at the show. First of all, thank you so much for your service, of course. But what was your favorite moment of the show? I mean, all of it was really good. I don't even know what to pick.

Are you the kid that fell asleep? Just pick one thing because that's what we're doing. You're not the Dominican kid who fell asleep, right? Oh, my God. And then I watched all the Instagram stories of the people around him making fun of him. It was a highlight. I know.

Yeah. That kid might have been on Special K. Yeah, it might have been. He was definitely on Something Special. Yeah. What do you do for work? I run a nonprofit. Wow.

Good person. See, this is the type of girl you marry Chris Are you single? I wish No Yeah you and your husband will get crack Are you married or just boyfriend? No I'm engaged Oh yeah

That's what it is You sound thrilled Yeah you don't want to say I wish. Yeah. It's all right. He's not a hiatus fan. You won't know. He's not a hiatus fan, right?

Why don't you get married? He could cast for about 900 a play. He saw me drool at the show. It's okay. He saw you what? He saw me drool at the show. It's okay. So he was there and he saw you just eyeing down Chrissy D?

Yeah. It's what it is, man. I mean, he'll crack you both, Yeah. It's what it is, babe. He'll crack you both, though. It's what it is. Heimer. Yeah. Chrissy D's available for birthday parties.

It isn't a good deal. I mean, I appreciate all the female fans we have, but too many of you ladies grabbed my nuts taking pictures at the Gramercy. I iced out my balls. Yeah, that's a felony. I don't care. But real quick, do you have a favorite moment

at the Gramercy Theater? Because we've reached the Haybird time limit with you. Yes, the FF roulette. Nice. That was fun. Thank you. Okay, great. We're going to keep that then for the live shows.

Are you spreading the word to all your friends about the History Hyenas podcast? Yes, of course. And I'm coming on November, what is it? The Friday show. 29th. November 29th. Yeah. Mikey Emojiface will be there

and Yanni may drop in and do a guestie too. You never know. Yeah. And yeah, hopefully things work out. I really hope so. Yeah. Yeah. And good luck in your engagement. If it doesn't work out, Snapchat, CCTV. It's what it is. Yeah.

She sounded really nice. She sounded cool and great. And it's like she came there with her boyfriend and her boyfriend got to see her salivate over you. It's just what it is. It's a little angry. Some of these kids like to watch their girls get banged out. They're a little cocked out.

I mean, you know, it's not wrong with that. Everyone's got their own kinks. I'm not saying that he does because I don't think he does. Yeah. Isaac, it's just a misdemeanor, Brown. This kid's on the run from the law. Isaac, do you think he's Leroy? Is he?

Could be a British kid. Or is he a Jewish kid? I mean, his kids aren't picking up. I can't believe I got to go to fucking serious tomorrow. It's for Jim and Sam, though. That's good. It's always good. But 830?

But is it, you know? I don't know. Is it? I mean, it's all about the podcast. It's like the needle. I never get one follower. Yeah, because they kind of all those O those kids know about you already, right? It's like, what's the difference?

Yeah. Now I got to fucking wake up at seven. Those numbers don't. They just kind of have a listenership and that's it, right? Well, they do buy tickets. That's why my PR. That's why. That's why Pammy's telling me to do it.

She's like, if you want to sell out Gotham, sell those extra tickets. Jim and Sam's a nice one to do. I think that makes sense. You think they buy tickets, those kids? Yeah, I mean, I think so. They don't buy tickets like Hyena fans buy tickets. That's the thing. Hyena fans buy tickets quick.

Yeah, they gobble them up. Yeah, they gobble them up because they're fucking FFs. Yeah. I'm a half a star dog from eating paha. And I'm hungry. I'm a half a star dog from snoring. I really actually have to get my tonsils removed. I think it's time.

It's like insane. Do you want to go in together? Because I got to get checked out too. Do you want to go sleep together? Want to do the sleep test? Do the sleep test and we'll just say if we could snuggle together while we do it? Well, there's a sleep test.

The sleep place is right down the block. It's right in Bay Ridge. I know exactly where it is. How much does it cost for a night though? No, whatever. We'll split it. We'll take it from the Patreon money? No we'll do Whatever We'll fucking We'll split it We'll take it from The Patreon money

And we'll do a Patreon episode From the sleep test Let's do it Who's this? Wyatt My piece's name is Woodrow Wilson

Get the fuck out of here Yeah what's up Wyatt P? What's up Guy? Get the fuck out of here What's up fucking Guy? Yo shit what's up boy? Yo Guy let me ask you a question Did you come to the live shows

At the stand of the Gramercy Theater? No I'm from I'm from Indiana, man. Wow. Hour south of Chicago. I would have fucking loved to have come. We're going to do a live show in Chicago. Yeah, guy. Yeah, don't wear your Clans hood, you Indiana racist.

I'll bring a fucking bus. Yeah. Yeah, guy, do you go to Chicago and get deep dish pizza? You know, just about every other weekend. You know, from the name there, I got's? You know, just about every other weekend. You know, from the name there, I got the, you know,

single father and triplets, so I got the kids every other weekend. All right. Wow. Yeah, the kid's got his hands fucking full.

He's also got strong sperm. He made triplets. Wow, you got trippies? They're fucking plumbers, man. No, I'm not shitting you, man. You've always been a girl.

All right, listen, we played at the live show, we played a Fuck, Marry, Kill game, but we You've always been a girl Alright, listen, we played at the live show We played a fuck, marry, kill game But we called, instead of fuck, marry, kill We called it Coco, Yanni, Husbands, or Poughkeepsie So Poughkeepsie for kill, Yanni, Husbands for marry And Coco for fuck

So Yanni, Husbands, Coco, and Poughkeepsie You're from Indiana, so let's do Larry Bird Chicago, you're from Indiana, so let's do Larry Bird, Chicago, you're close, Michael Jordan, and then just to throw in a ringer, Hillary Clinton. Okay, kill Hillary Clinton. Yeah, I mean, she's dead. This kid's hand goes to the right.

Yeah, okay, so Hillary Clinton gets Poughkeepsie. I'm definitely clapping cheeks with Larry Bird and marrying Michael Jordan. Okay, so you're going to Coco, Larry Bird and marrying Michael Jordan yeah so you're gonna okay so you're gonna

Coco Larry Bird and then and then marry Michael and that's nice that's a nice diversity marriage that'll get you that'll get your kids will get into college

kids are gonna get into college pretty cheap yeah and then Larry Bird is just gonna get banged out yeah yeah no I'm just clapping the cheeks

you know I like this choice clapping the cheeks is funny Larry Bird and Michael Jordan you're gonna get money either way but he chose Michael Jordan so I think this kid likes life in the fast lane. Yeah. Yeah, he just wants to gamble. Yeah.

Yeah. You're going to wind up dead like his dad. He's going to have a funner time. Oh, Hey Bird. Yeah. Oh, yeah, we got the Hey Bird timeline. Hey Bird. Hey Bird.

Hey Bird. All right. Thanks, Wyatt. I appreciate it. Thank you for your service, man. Thanks for being a Patreon member. We appreciate it. No fucking problem, boys.

Love it. You guys make my fucking day. Love you, man. Later, bro. We got good kids listening to this. And his name's Wyatt? Yeah. That's an American name.

No place on the planet will you go and find a Wyatt except for the middle of this country. Yeah. It's a good name. And it's just a little bit of a bone-chilling name. It's a bone-chilling name, and he's got Indian blood on his hands. It's what it is. I have a sore throat, and it's turning into a fever. I think I'm going to drink an O'Doul's. Yeah.

I'm willing to get fucking hammered tonight and make some bad decisions. Yeah, you've, me and you've been, we've been willing to get hammered every night. Yeah. Seems like we've been ending our nights with sweets and brews. Yeah, I'm gonna start letting text fly to toots like it's an AK-47. Just let him go.

Call has been forwarded to an automated voice message. Oh, that was. So we got a situation with your grandmother, D'Souza. Keep going. I got to take a piss. Vanity is not here. I'm breaking the rule. Yeah, Vanity is at work in Florida.

Just talk more, Mike. Mike, you didn't give us your fucking back. We went past it. Went past it. Sorry, my fault. I had it, though. All right. So this is

Tony Balls 2020. Hello? Balls, Tony Balls 2020. What's up, babe? What's up, man? What's up, man? What's up, man? It's Chrissy D. Yanni is in the bathroom taking a piss.

But we just want to say, you know, we call you. Just want to say thank you for your service. Did you come to the live shows? What'd you say? He's got an STD? No. Well, if anything, I have an STD. I have a sore throat from eating puss.

Yanni just has to pee because he's been drinking a lot of water. Okay. Where do you live, Tony Balls, 2020? Yeah. Where do you live? I'm down here in Texas. Texas? Wow, Texas.

That's where Mikey Emoji Face is from. Yeah, which part? Yeah, down in San Antonio. Yeah, for sure. Oh, sweet. That's where i'm from oh wow so you didn't come to the live shows at the gramercy theater or the stand in new york city no i couldn't make it how was it they were pretty good man they were pretty good um there was a kid

who fell asleep in the front row but i think he was on acid yeah bro tonys 2020 Tony Balls 2020 is a good name you got a hell of a personality you're just good on podcasts Tony Balls you live close to the Mexican border what do you do what's your first move if you see some illegals climbing over that wall what do you do

what do I do if you see some illegals climbing over that wall? What do you do? What do I do if I see them? Yeah, see some illegals climbing over the wall. You wake up at night and you see some of them. This guy, Giannis just got back to the mic. This guy's got a very, he's got an energetic personality. Tony Ball, say hi to Giannis. What's up, Giannis?

What's up, guy? Let me tell you, I'm hydrated and I got a 75% clean ass. Yeah. So real quick, because you got to reach the Haybird timeline. What do you do if you see any illegal climbing over the wall in San Antonio? I'm here for the content. I'm going to leave the comedy to you guys. Oh, I see it.

Oh, I see. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Tony Ball's 2020, he's a kid from San Antonio. He's a Mexican from San Antonio. So I asked him what he would do if he saw White Walker. And he said he's here for the content.

I don't know what that means. It means your questions are wild. It means that. Thank you for your service. I appreciate it. Come to my shows. Bye. Do you know Mikey from San Antonio? You ever see him in his show? This kid's way over the Haybird time limit. Oh, he is? Sorry. No, no, I don't know him.

This kid sounds like he's hiding from the law. Yeah. Thank you. You don't know him This kid sounds like he's hiding from the law Yeah You don't know him Just look at any of the emojis In your phone and you can see his face Thank you Alright, Tony Balls I'll let you go back to sleep Tony, thank you for your service, man

We appreciate you as a Patreon member We seriously do, Tony Balls, thank you so much I hit the call like 10 seconds ago That kid's personality was a little I mean, that kid's a fucking full-blown serial killer a Patreon member. We seriously do, Tony Balls. Thank you so much. I did the call like 10 seconds ago. Oh, okay. That kid's personality was a little... I mean, that kid's a fucking full-blown serial killer. He is, right? Yeah. He seemed quiet. Maybe he's autistic on a spectrum.

Could be. Alright, let's do a couple more. I gotta take a notes call at Comedy Central. Or maybe he just doesn't want to call. He was a kid who was... That's what he's trying to say. He's like, I'm here for the content. I don't need this in my life. Well, that's fine, too. If you joined for 25 and you don't want us to call you, tell us. Yeah. Or maybe he just wanted to call us.

He just didn't want to say if he was going to be catapulting illegals over the wall. Because the answer is yes. Which is fair. Some kids don't want to answer that question. He sounded like an illegal. Ash Gabs. Can we get a Wei Zhongjian? Wei Zhongjian. Chris is working on a character piece about a Republican firefighter.

It's just what it is. It's not, I don't, wait until you see how, wait until Chrissy Cuck comes out on this Comedy Central notes call. Yeah. Your call. That's going to be fun actually for people. Yeah. That'd be real fun.

Is there any way for us to patch that through here? Well, I'm putting it on speakerphone. Yeah. Okay. But I got to put it on mute though. Yeah. No. Why do you have to put it on mute?

Well, I'm saying when they're talking, we can't be talking. So. No, you don't have to put it on mute though. We'll just be quiet and we'll listen. No, no, okay. But I got to put it on mute, though. Yeah, no. Why do you have to put it on mute? Well, I'm saying when they're talking, we can't be talking, so. No, you don't have to put it on mute, though. We'll just be quiet and we'll listen. No, no, no. I'm saying I'll let, speaker will be on, but I'll put it on mute while, like, the notes are going on. We could keep doing calls, and then if I hear my name, I'll tell everyone to shut up, and

then I'll take it off mute. Oh, that'd be even better. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I thought you were ruining the idea. You made it better. Yeah.

You made it better. You made it more flagrant. Schultz, what's up? Wow, subtitles Schultz is a monster It's now called Andrew Schultz Presents Flagrant 2 I know Hello? Is this Lect 1?

Is this Lecce? Who is this? This is the History Aenas Oh, it's a character piece It's a character piece. It's a character piece. Lot of 14. Lot of 14.

Yeah, because we're hyenas. Hyenas. Word. That sounds like she's here. I know. It's crazy. Penetrate your peas. Word. That sounds like she's here. I know. It's crazy. Vanity, your peas. Word. Let me ask her.

Let me use that to ask her questions. Vanity, are you, do you have another job that you work really hard at? Word. Vanity, what do you think of my new boots? Dope. Vanity, my dad's dead. What do you think of my new boots? Dope. Benetia, my dad's dead. What do you think about that? Word.

Benetia, how was our live podcast? Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message. Nobody picks up the phone. I mean, you're just going to have to wait like three months to get a call back. What's the other one? Just word and dope? Dope. Word.

Ask yourself, Chrissy. Venetia. Robot. We'll just robot Venetia. Venetia. What's something that I can smoke to get to another dimension? Dope. Mary Whistler.

Oh, Mary Whistler. Your call has been forwarded. Wow. People just are fucking sending us the voicemail. Do you understand when the hyenas come crawling into your town, you better pick up? Better pick up that phone, goddammit. You want to hear something fun, though?

My wife loves Venetia. Word. Yeah. Yeah. She thought she was sweet as Reese's Pieces. Yeah. Maybe we should do a double date. Yeah.

No. Yeah. Venetia do a double date. Yeah. No. Yeah. Venetia just looks bright past. It's over, Johnny. It's a work relationship, Chris. Matt, totally not a toot, but my last name is... Yeah, but she tried to bring home a fiesta. Yeah. Hello?

Wei Songxian. Yeah. Yeah, what's up? It's Chrissy D. Yeah. Yeah. Yo, what are you doing, guy? Guy, welcome to the guy squad, guy. Oh, guy. What are you doing, guy? What's happening?

Where do you live? Charlotte, North Carolina. Did you come to the shows in New York City this week? No. You're an FF. I'm talking about everybody's story. Because you keep asking people that. These kids are from Indiana and North Carolina

Yeah but People drove from fucking Canada This kid can't come from Charlotte Nah this kid's got a job in Charlotte What are you doing in Charlotte guy? Are you a hornet? I'm a mural painter Wow you're fucking gay

It's character piece It's character piece Just get it around Yo guy can you paint a mural For the studio? Yeah Dude What if can I be Can we do a Patreon thing Where we come down to your studio And you paint a mural for the studio? Yeah Dude, what if, can I be, can we do a Patreon thing

Where we come down to your studio and you paint me naked? Yeah Oh yeah, mechanic style? Can you do it? Okay, dude, you're a nice kid, I like this kid Kids from the South are just soothing They're soothing You're like a cough drop

Yeah, and they're not prepared to get a call from Chrissy Kamikaze It's what it is That's Chrissy Kamikaze Oh, hey, aka Wolfgang Cuck. That's right. I got some other shit. James Early Onset Jones. I like Wolfgang Cuck.

Yeah. Cuckleberry Finn is nice. Yeah. There it is. Yeah. Yo, can you paint us a history hyenas painting? He said he would. Yeah, I'll do it. Are you a single kid, a married kid? What are you doing?

Are you trans? What's going on? Single kid. Still got the flop. Talking it back currently. Nice. Yeah, if you know any trans people, if you know any trans people in your area, tell them to listen to our show because we're trying to get that, you know, we need boxes to be

checked for diversity. We need trans fans. You know, a trans Marine, ex-Marine. Wow! Can we do a Patreon on him? What's that? Yeah, no, can you tell him to listen to the potty? I'll try, yeah. Tell him, and if he

joins a Patreon, we'll shout him out. Is it a him or her? He's a girl that came into her? He's got a piece, but he's got big old boobs. It's a girl. Yeah, but the piece is gone. We'll do a 21-gun salute for his piece. His piece is resting in pieces.

Character piece. Would she like the potty, you think? Would she like the potty? Maybe. Yeah, probably. She's got a good sense of humor? Humor? Yeah. All yeah all right yeah we reached the haybird time limit but cuz thank you so much for for being a fan all the way from charlotte

we appreciate it yeah thank you guys you got anything you want to ask us uh shit of course it just flew out of my head that's all right oh yeah yeah chris yeah and yeah uh but i'm definitely thinking chris you when you were a kid did you lay in the tub on your back and then pee in an arc all over your own chest? Yes, I actually did. Yeah, I would do that a lot. Yeah. I thought his question was going to be a strikeout.

That kid hit Homer. Homer. Yeah, no, I used to do that a lot. I used to do that too. I used to let it land in my belly button. Yeah. I tried to get it in my belly button. Yeah.

Yeah. We're all FFs. There's one movie where he says, I expect you to die. And he's got the letters going on. I used to cry. Oh, he burst. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh.

Yeah, we hit the live. We hit the actual limit. But yeah, absolutely. I used to do that. So yeah, fucking we'll see you later. And yeah, tell the trans that we need it. Just bang him. Yeah, you could just drop it.

I like it when we drop it right in the middle of them saying stuff too. Yeah. That question was funny, though. That's the last thing we forgot. It's drop it right in the middle of them saying stuff too. Yeah. That question was funny though. That's the last thing we forgot. It's like if they have a question for us. So yeah. Yeah. If you listen to this episode, guys, when we call you,

have a question for us because it just makes the call easier. Yeah. Word. Venetia, do you got a new boyfriend who's a fiesta? Word. Yes, you do. We got to secretly get more. This is what we're going to do.

We're going to get more Venetia words, and we're going to play games with Robot Venetia. Yeah, Robot Venetia, boys. Please leave your message for 860. We got to get Liberal Bill Barr to call into the show. Yeah, we do. Should we get him now? No, not now, because we got to do this,

and then I got to take the Comedy Central call for the Patreon. That was Justin Scum Cousy, Shishki, MeMarkie. That was Scum Cousy? Or this is coming up? No, this is going to be Steel Pipe Kelly with a smoothie, plain, and simp. Nice. Dope. Robot

Vanity is going to be funny. Before it's all said and done, I'm just saying this loud in public. I'm going to have sex with a guy. Hello? Hold on. Tell this to this person. Hello? There's a number missing. Sorry. I'm sorry.

Did Mike do his emoji face factor today? No. I did not. I have it, but I didn't. Why didn't you? We ran out of time. Do it on this call. I'm curious. I want to know what it is. Like I was looking know what it is Like I was Looking forward to it No let's do it

We got to do it on an episode No It was supposed to be On the last episode But it's like I wanted to know I'm curious He fell asleep

Yeah Well we could do it on this one Because it's coming right after Zach stop standing up And sitting down in the chair Yeah you're making him Nervous Hi this is Kelly Leave a message after the beep And I'll be back to you As soon as I can Yeah Stop standing up and sitting down in the chair. Yeah, you're making him nervous.

Hi, this is Kelly. Leave a message after the beep. I'll be back here as soon as I can. At the tone, please record your message. When you've finished recording, you may hang up or press one for more options. Hey, Kelly, that voicemail you got's a real sultry voice. This is Giannis and Chris. How you doing, Kelly? This is Chris.

You got a hot voice, so it's making me think of one thing and one thing only. You got a hot brother I could bang out. Your voicemail made me go... Alright, bye. You missed your chance. While we're calling, just tell us what your fucking emoji face fact was. Wait, let me put on my poncho.

It's character piece. This is Liam McCabe. This is an Irish kid. He's Irish. It was about how John Rolfe was the reason we have tobacco in our country now. But you guys actually did a whole episode about it. We did a whole episode. That's why you pulled it.

You're a smart fucking kid. We did a whole episode of that, but you didn't know that at's why you pulled it. You're a smart fucking kid. We did a whole episode. But you didn't know that at the time. That might have even been before you were here. Yep. Those hard days. That was pre-emoji. That was pre-emoji phase.

Those were tough days. We like having you. Thank you. I like being here. DC. This guy's in DC. Is it a guy? Hello?

Yo, what up? What up, DC? Yo, what up? Are you for the impeachment or against it? It's in DC. Hello. Yo, what up? What up, DC? Yo, what up? Are you for the impeachment or against it? It's Giannis and Chris. Trump 2020. Oh, yeah. Wow. He's full out of the closet.

No, no, no. I'm from Northern Virginia. I can't say that. You got to stay in the closet. You got to stay in the closet, but openly vote for Trump. Yeah. What's up, dude? You're a DC kid? You gotta stay in the closet, but openly vote for Trump. Yeah. Yes, exactly. That's what it is. What's up, dude?

You're a D.C. kid? Yeah, yeah. Right outside D.C. in Arlington. What do you got? About a size 32 waist, if I had to guess off that voice? You know what? You're not far off. I'm 28, though.

Wow. You're a fucking twink and I'll crack you. He's what you call a fish stick. No, I'm real athletic. I'm real athletic. Yeah, well, start posting some shirtless pics on the Patreon. I'll do anything for you. You're going to get punched through. Guy,

let me ask you a question. Let me ask you a question. Do you have a question for us? Yeah, Guy. What's your question for us, Guy? You know, I don't really have a question. I will say I just listened to your hyena episode Yeah

And I think you guys should read the book The Red Queen I think that's the best science book That's ever been written Wow I'm a neuroscience student Wow You're a smart fucking kid

Are you an eastern hemi? No, no, no. I'm a white guy. Oh, wow. So what's The Red Queen about? Is it about hyenas specifically or it's just science? No, it's a book about, it's basically like an evolutionary biology slash evolutionary psychology book. Yeah.

And if you want to know the truth about the male-female sexual dynamic, that's the book to read. Well, what's a quick fun fact? Because we almost got to go. So what's a quick fun fact? Because now you got us curious. A quick fun fact. The higher status males, and this is true in chimpanzees as well as humans, the higher status the male, the more likely they are to have sons. they are to have sons.

And vice versa, the opposite is true with females that they're more likely to, or lower status males, rather, are more likely to have daughters. Wow, so I'm a lower status kid. You're a lower status kid. You always knew you were cucked out. It's a small correlation, but it is significant enough to mean, you know, if you're

a higher status male, it's more beneficial to have a son. Therefore he can, you know, go on and have a daughter. He can keep the patriarchy going. Yeah, but in fairness, and then we gotta go, I did get a few abortions. Oh, Hemer. Fucking stupid. I'm just kidding.

I love my daughter. I'm proud to be my daughter, but the truth, I agree with you on that, because I am fucking full of estrogen, and I didn't get a full load in her mom. It kind of just drizzled out. Okay, I gotta go call Com full load in her mom. It kind of just drizzled out. Okay, I'm going to call Comedy Central. Thank you. I mean, that was a smart kid. What is it called?

The Red Dragon? The Red Queen. The Red Queen. I want to... Who are we calling? Why Sir Rocks? Are we on air? Okay.

Yeah. They're expecting the calls. I did. We, um, I brought you guys cookies. Welcome to the bonus call episode. History.

Hi. Welcome to the bonus call patron episode. We're calling people. They don't pick up the phone. They don't pick up the phone. We're sorry, but it makes our life easier. I love when you make vanity upset.

It's the fun. It's the funnest parts. Not dope. Yeah. Yeah. Giannis the funnest parts. Not dope. Yeah, yeah. Giannis is ignoring call from his wife. Well, I'm working. I'm at work. I'm at work.

I love the bonus call episodes. They're so much fun and easy lifting for us. We're having a good time with our fans. Our podcast is all about the fans. What are we calling next, Mikey? Well, they sent us a message for a different phone number from the same person. Well, try them again. What is this, Visceroy? Viscerox.

Viscerox. I gotta pee. I'm just gonna pee in a bottle in the corner. Yeah, I'm not going all the way downstairs. Well, no, that's the thing. It's like, you know what? You want to lock the door? How about we piss in the corner? I mean, what option are you giving me? We're bringing a piss bucket. Thank you for calling. It's actually crazy. I mean, did you hear that lady's voice? Thank you for calling. Thank you for calling Smithtown Water Department.

Yeah, we know where you're from. It's called Syasset. Thank you for calling Smithtown Water Department. Yeah, we know where you're from. It's called Syasset. Thank you for calling Precision Chrysler Jeep Dodge and Ram. Hang up. They're trying to get fucking free promo. Fuck. We just gave them free promo. Yeah.

What the hell was that? He has an extension. I mean, you call him from an extension at work, guy? And you got us on hold? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me get home. My lockout. Let's pretend we're someone else.

No, I'm going to pretend. Thank you for holding. We know your time is valuable. I'm going to pretend I'm looking for a car. And we're working to make your way. Thank you for calling Precision Chrysler Jeep Dodge Ram. You've reached the voicemail of Tom Pasquale. I'm either on the phone or away from my desk.

If you'd like to leave me a message, I'll get back to you at my earliest convenience. Thank you and have a good day. I'll record your message at the tone. When you are finished, hang up or stay on the line for further options. Hey, what's up, Mr. Pasquale? Yeah, listen, I'm looking for a Dodge Ram 2019 for my wife, Colleen, and my daughter, Colleen

Jr. So if you could call me back at 1-800 fftrump2020.com It's my phone number. That's a goodie. Yeah. You just got a little message from Patty

Mulroney. It's what it is. Yeah. I was going to say, hey, I'm looking for a Dodge Ram, but I need to sniff the seats first to make sure. I want Jen to squeak. He's a kid. I want his ass smell on there. Yeah, I like Jan to squeak air freshener. Can I just fuck it? Can you ask Jan to put on certain types of cologne? I'll just

hang them off my fucking rearview mirror. Absolutely. Yo, we're making Jan to squeak famous. Jan to squeak's a famous kid. I like that kid. I liked him at our fucking show. He's a nice kid. He's happy. He's got good, happy energy. I like when he walked out to. I like that kid. He's a nice kid. He's happy. He's got good, happy energy. Yeah.

I like when he walked out to people and just in silence. Yeah. He just had to stand in front of them for 30 seconds. Yeah. I think it's just a misdemeanor Brown. Misdemeanor Brown. Got it. Well, now Jan the Squeak, when he does our show, he's going to get a nice ovation.

He is. Because everyone's going to know who Jan the Squeak is now. I mean, unfortunately, his name is going to be Jan the Squeak. But I mean, his name is Emoji Face. A lot of these kids don't pick up their phones because they're in roofing. A lot of these kids are driving trucks and they can't pick up the phone because they're getting pulled over for trying to go through the HOV lane. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, guys, we told you, pick up the phone. If it comes from an unlisted number on a day. Didn't you check with one name, Andrew? I thought you guys said you checked with all these people before. Yeah, but a lot of these kids, you know, they got real jobs. They have real jobs or they fucking at the gym or something. I'm lightheaded. I need an impossible

burger. I shouldn't be saying that because it's a promotion. Here we go. Andrew. Thank you. Is this kid going to pick up the phone? I mean, here we go Andrew thank you is this kid gonna pick up the phone I mean I've had four waters I gotta piss so bad

I'm gonna piss out the window on to Steve seriously I'm going to piss out the window. On to Steve. Seriously. I'm going to hit Steve. I'm going to hit Steve and some Scandinavian tourists looking to go. So is this a comedy solo? Can I have a four tickets, please? Is David Hagen to be there tonight?

Yeah, we're from Sweden. How about Chris DeStefano? He's a funny. Yeah, he's a funny. How about a Jim Gaffigan?? He's a funny. Yeah. He's a funny. How about a Jim Gaffigan? I love Jim. And they're going to go, no. Today it's just Eric.

Who's this? Who's this? Jewish American. Peace. Hello. Hey, what's up, Jewish American? Peace. How are you?

What are you doing? Happy. Happy harmonica. Thank you. I'm actually attempting to get onto the Lincoln Tunnel to get my ass back to Staten Island. Yas. Ooh, Staten Island.

Yas. Yas. How was your 2019, babe? It was great. I met you guys. You met us? Oh, you met us? I was at the live show.

Okay. We didn't hook up after, right? We did not have live show. Okay. We didn't hook up after, right? We did not. Okay. Did I hook up with your husband? Did that happen? He actually didn't come. I went alone.

Yeah, because sometimes a couple of raisins get into my oatmeal. It's just what happens. He's had so much oatmeal that you can't tell if there's raisin in there. It's a guy. Listen, babe, we appreciate it. You're like Melanie Griffith working girl. You're going back to Staten Island. So you've taken off your heels and put on your Reeboks

and you're just going home to cook a sauce. And if it's a little, if the garlic isn't sliced right, we don't blame your husband for disciplining you. But she's Jewish. I discipline him. Oh, she said he did. She's Jewish. Jewish men Okay Oh she said he did I'm Jewish I don't make this up

She's Jewish I don't make the lot done Jewish men like to get stepped on They do They like to get their fucking balls Stepped on by the women They love a strong woman Because it reminds them of their mother

And they love Yeah they They love a strong woman Yeah Yeah it's kind of how it is Yeah Yeah just beat his ass So you come home

And you just tell him right away You're like Where's my dinner bitch He's actually home with the kids So yeah Yeah Oh yeah Yeah yeah Yeah yeah beat his ass. So you come home and you just tell him right away, you're like, where's my dinner, bitch? He's actually home with the kids, so yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. He's a good kid. Yeah, he's a good kid. His name's Cuckleberry Finn. Well, yeah, so how do you like Staten Island?

Staten Island's a nice place where you can find an affordable home. I'm gonna move there. It's actually great. I actually grew up in Bay Ridge, and now I live in Staten Island. Wow! Shout out in Bay Ridge, and now I live in Beth. Wow. Shout out Salty Dog. Shout out to Salty Dog. Well, I was younger, so I didn't really, you know. Let me ask you a question.

We're almost at the Hey Bert time limit. Let me ask you a question. Did you go down to Show Road Park and drink brews in the dugouts? Nope, because I moved to Staten Island when I was 19. There we go. Before I was able to There we go, yeah. Before I was able to do that. Is your husband a nice Jewish boy?

Did you make your parents proud? Is he a doctor? Of course I married a nice Jewish boy. He owns construction. Oh, wow. But he doesn't do the construction. He owns the construction. Of course he does.

Screwed in. Screwed in. He's fucking screwed in. Screwed in. He doesn't know how to hang a picture frame. Me neither. Yeah. Samesies.

All right, babes. Just tell him me, Chrissy, and him will have a nice women's night out. Thank you for your support so much. 2019 going into Trump 2020. It's going to be a great year. Thanks. We love you. Wow.

Yeah, they just get the hang up. That was, we love her. She came to the show too. She's a fan. Because we got fans from all works of life, Vanity. I'm telling you. Did I tell you guys at the closing of my house

one of the partners of the law firm came in and said he was a history hyenas fan? Yeah. How wild is that? We have people from all... That is my goal too. I want to bring all types of people all races, all religions, all sexualities, together to

laugh, because it's all a character piece. Hey, Let One, what's up, buddy? How you doing? Where are your balls right now? My house, bro. You heard that, bro? Yo, bro. I'm sorry, Papi. Yo, where you from, bro? Queens. Yeah, wow. Yeah, bro? Yo, bro. I'm sorry, Papi. Yo, where you from, bro? Queens.

Yeah. Wow. Yeah, this is a Ridgewood kid. No, I grew up in Flushing. I don't know. Oh, you know Zach. I did not grow up around white people. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, he's a black kid. You know, as a black kid. Did you find us through Flagrant, too? Yeah, you must have come through Flagrant, too. Oh, yeah. That's definitely what happened. That's what it is, Bob. Yo, now listen, since you're a black kid and Isis is a rapper,

I mean, does the kid, does he got bars or no? I've never heard any of this stuff. Should we? Right. Yeah, so listen to this episode. I think we played it. Yeah, we played his episode. But listen, how you doing?

How was your day today? What'd you do? Man, nothing. I stayed home with the baby. I have a two-month-old who just had surgery not too long ago. Oh, okay. Well, are they okay? How's the baby doing?

Yeah, yeah. He's good. He's good. All right. Good, good, good, good, good. Nice. He ain't sleeping for shit, but he's good. Hey, you know what, though?

It's nice. A couple of fathers over here. Now, listen, what are you doing? How was your 2019 going into your Trump 2020? What do you got going on? Cool, man. You know, new family. I got a new apartment. You know, everything's going well. Let's hope it stays that fucking way. Yeah. Right.

Because, you know, life has a way of fucking shit up. We know things are going well because you're at a high level on Patreon. We appreciate that. That's number one. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, anything to support the things that make you laugh. Yeah, yeah. Entertain and bring joy

to people. Fuck all these miserable bastards who just want to bring everybody the fuck down. Yo, let's make that a drop. Let's get that as a cut and promo. I like that exactly you sound like a fun kid to hang out with i'm gonna meet you for some pizza and queens now last but not least last but not least and then the hatebird timeline is up so you just got you just have to answer this question within one or two words then we're gonna hang up are trans women women oh yes trans women are women yeah you don't fuck with them But they're women I love you

Alright Luano See you later brother Thank you We love that kid Wow what a good kid Yo he sounds like a good kid Yo I want Can we get that little clip

Because that's a good way To describe You know what this podcast Is about I appreciate that He said fuck all these Miserable bastards Yeah and it's good too

Because we need it Because he's got like You can tell That he's not white By his accent So that's positive too That's what everybody wants Yeah I mean They want you they want non-whites shouting on your podcast because it doesn't matter yeah i i love the fact that we have i really do we do that

i really believe that we got oh wait he's on the phone hello hello hi who's this? Hi. Hi. Are trans women women? Who are you? What's her name? Angela. Angela? She's hysterical. Yes, guess what it is. Guess what, Angela? You're on with Chrissy D and Yanni P.

And my chlamydia's cleared up. Yeah, the kid's got a normal-sized prostate. Is that good news or what? Fantastic news. What are you doing now, Angela? Babe, where are you from? Las Vegas. Wow. Hey, Bert's there, Angela? Babe, where are you from? Las Vegas. Wow.

Hey, Bert's there. Yeah, hey, Bert's from there. Hey, Bert's there right now. Oh, he is there. Yeah. Angela, what's up, babe? How's Vegas? Is it hot out there?

Do you know? No, it's freezing. It's chilly, Willie. Very cold. Very cold. Are you comfy-wumpy in the cold or no? Yeah, super comfy. I've got my robe on.

I kicked my family out of the house. So I was waiting for your phone call. Yeah, get them out of there. And here it is. Do you work at one of the casinos? What do you do in Vegas? I'm a producer. I produce commercials.

Oh, wow. What about a commercial for the History Hyenas? Yeah. Let's do it. Let's do it, babe. Yeah, we'll get you hooked up with V and she'll fucking, she'll hit you with an email and she'll say, hi, I work, as you know, I work with Giannis and Chris. The guys go wild for history

and nature. Yeah, that'll be the first sentence. That'll be the first sentence. Angela, thank you for being a freaking high level nun. We appreciate it. Now, what are your plans for New Year's Eve 2019 going into Trump 2020? Yeah. Can you stop saying that? I want to ask all our fans. It plans for New Year's Eve 2019 going into Trump 2020? Can you stop saying that? I want to ask all our fans. It's the New Year's Eve.

What are your New Year's resolutions? What are your plans? Yeah, it's a big year, 2020. We're going to go to the strip and the usual. We're going to go party with all the tourists and everything. Does that get annoying living in Vegas? Because it's kind of like it's almost like living at a resort.

It's like, I mean, you just got tourists constantly walking around with sandals and white socks and little pouches on their waist. Yeah, I don't live anywhere near there. We have like real neighborhood suburbs, so it doesn't really, it doesn't seem like that.

We don't really deal with tourists too much. You and the burbs, baby. Yeah, you're living in a desert. That's weird because when you think of Vegas, you just think of we don't really deal with tourists too much. You and the birds, baby. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You live in a desert. You live in a desert. Yeah. That's weird. Cause when you think of Vegas, you just think of the casinos,

but there's actually people who live there and Hey, it's actually from there. So when we come to Vegas, can you produce, can you produce if we want to do a video or something, will you produce it? And we're going to do it. Can we do a show at your house?

Kick your family out, do a show there. I got a studio we can use. Wow. Yes. All right. Listen, you've reached the time limit. We just want to say thank you so much for your support.

Shout out Las Vegas. And if you see Herbert, hit him with a peanut. Yeah. We love you. You have a question for us? No, no. Have a good holiday. Guys.

Happy holidays. We love you. Happy harmonica. Happy harmonica. She's, you know, she's a big fan. She kicked her family out. She kicked her family out. What she's doing is wrong.

Yeah. That's why I wanted to give her like a couple more seconds because she kicked her whole family out of the house. Yeah. Because she knew just in case Chrissy was on the phone, something wild could happen. And make no mistake because I could tell her name's Angela. She lives in Vegas. I know she's Mexican. So it was a big illegal family she had to kick out.

Way song. Yeah, that's the first. Way song. Way song.. Wei Zhongxing. We can't even have a nice Wei Zhongxing Let's Go call episode. I'm just kidding. Who's this guy? Yo, what's up, guy? Oh, it's the cuzzy. Yeah, this kid's a fun kid. Yeah, did you see us on Jersey

Boys? Where are you from, cuz? Good to see you guys on Jersey Boys. I'm actually from Poughkeepsie. Wow. You live in the place where Chrissy's going to get put down. Yeah, I know the spot for him, too. Cuz, you live in Poughkeepsie, and we're back from the cackles.

What's up, cuz? How you doing, cuz? Oh, Jesus. Yeah, cuz. I'm good. What are you doing, Poughkeepsie? Build pools. Chill out.

Yeah, you're a union contracted kid. Yeah, you're a union contracted kid. Cuz, if I need a pool, can I get a little discount? Yeah, yeah. You gotta hit us up. Yeah, hit him up. Yeah, cuz Giannis is cheap. I want you and all the contractors to talk to so you don't get fucked.

Yeah, actually, I could hit you up. But you know any good painters and shit like that? Floor guys? Floor guys, painters, landscapers. I know the propane guys, electricians, anybody. I've been out there for like, I've been working out of there for like 15 years. I mean, this kid sounds good. This kid, like when you grow up in Poughkeepsie, the chances you become an economics major or mathematician are about

0.00. Yeah. You're going to be a kid who works with his hands or you're going to be a kid on crystal math. It's what it is. It's one of the two. You're going to do construction. You're going to sell blow on the low.

That's what it is. It's what it is and it's what you do. Now, what are you doing for your 2019 into Trump 2020? Yeah. And we don't judge you for how you make your money for the Patreon. Actually, hey, guess what? You know what too is I'll probably be hanging out with my dad, who's a felon, just like Chrissy's dad. And he'll be telling me it's Trump 2020.

That's the way you got to vote. There you go. It's a character piece. Heber. All right, pops. We got to go. Shout out. Thank you so much for your support from Poughkeepsie.

Yeah, I love you guys. Love you, bro. Love you, bro. Unfortunately, we're going to have to cackle some of that phone call. But it's interesting because, I mean, we told him that we lived in Bay Ridge, you know? What's the difference? I don't know why. You probably said it as a lie and he just thinks it's true.

But, you know, we just want to keep it generic anyway. So it's like, you just want to keep it generic. Yeah. Because, you know, you're just a wild kid at some point. What's the difference between, you know what I mean? What do you mean? Like, we told them we live in... Because there's just more people in Bay Ridge? Yeah, it's just...

I don't know. Yeah, I don't even know. I don't care. I mean, what's the deal, by the way? You guys are the Bay Ridge boys. Hello? Right. Hello.

Hey, how you doing, babe? Merry Christmas. Yeah. Yeah, what's going on? What are you doing? I'm making meatballs. Wow. Are you single?

No. Okay. I'm married with. Wow. Are you single? No. Okay. I'm married with two kids. All right. There you go. Let's hit at a tie in last name real quick if you're making meatballs. Well, my married last name is Port, but my maiden name is Lucino. Wow.

Yeah. Now, where do you live? You live on Long Island, Staten Island? Where do you live? You live on some island. No, I live in Connecticut, but it's funny. I live near Waterbury, and we have an area called Town Platte, which is full of sauce monkeys.

Yeah, Waterbury. Yeah, Waterbury. So you're making a sauce for your husband. What do you do? Stay home, Mom. Beautiful. So what does the husband do? I let you guys clean the house.

Yes. What does the husband do for work? He owns his own insurance company. Yeah, okay. So, yeah. So, you married a screwed-in kid. He's been working there for 20 years, so he's worth it. Good for you, babe.

Well, Katie, he's making a nice little salary if he's got you out there in Connecticut. That's very, very nice. Now, listen. We know, based off your last name, based off what you're doing right now making meatballs, we know who you're voting for in 2020. But is there anything we could do to convince you to vote otherwise? your last name based off what you're doing right now, making meatballs. We know who you're voting for in 2020. But can we get, can we, is there anything we could do to convince you to vote otherwise? Yeah, I like it.

Yeah, she sounds like a girl who's got a couple of billboards up. It's what it is. She's secretly funded a couple of billboards that say Trump 2020. I know what flag is flying high in her front yard. Yeah, now you got any questions? Do you got any questions you want to ask Venetia, Zach, or Mike? How do they...

I want to ask Venetia how she manages with you guys because, oh my God, it's like her and Cass trying to get you guys to stand. It's great, though. I love it. Real Venetia is going to respond, not Robot Venetia. Hello. Hi. No, it's a great time. It's just always fun.

You're here for it. I am here for it. You are. You all are. And sometimes I'll speak Greek, and then they get confused. Yes, I said yes. That's why I bring Yaya's cookies. There you go. Yeah, Yaya's cookies.

Now, if we came out to Connecticut, could we do a show in your house or what? Oh, my God, yes. And I live on a lake, so if you want to come in the summertime, it's real fun. Wow. The pseudo-tip wants to get wet. What would happen if me and you just went to their house to hang out for a weekend and just hung out at her house? And we did a Patreon episode. And her husband came home from his great insurance job, and he was like—

Oh, he works from home. Oh, he works from home, too? He'd love it. Oh, yeah. Chrissy's going to kiss him right on the mouth. Yeah, I'll kiss your husband right on the lips. I'm trying to get picked up on celibate. You'd be on his lap, I'm telling you. He's going to kiss him right on the mouth. Yeah, I'll kiss your husband right on the lips. I'm trying to get picked up on celibate. You'd be on his lap, I'm telling you.

He's going to get glued. All right. Yeah, we're going to come over and let Zach babysit your kids. Sounds good. All right, I'll see you later, babe. We love you, babe. All right, I'll see you on the Trump forums. Thanks, everybody.

Yeah, we got some nice fans. Yeah. Yeah, I mean. We have one more call and then we're going to do New Year's resolutions. Okay. Got it. Who's this last call? John, the half Nicaraguan sauce monkey, a.k.a. Anne do New Year's resolutions. Okay. Got it. Who's this last call? John, the half-Nicaraguan

sauce monkey, a.k.a. Anne Franks and Beans. Okay. Nice. Good name. Real good. Real good. I'm going to pee out the window. I mean, you got somebody calling you again, guy. Yeah, I know. It's probably this. Hello?

Hello? This is an important message regarding your current credit card account. Just hang it up. I'm getting all these spam calls. John, half the Nicaraguan sauce monkey. What's up, babe? What's going on? What are you doing?

What are you doing? You got pants on right now or no? No, I'm driving though. Yeah. Wow, yeah. You're a kid who likes to drive without pants. Yeah, now are you driving? Are you illegal? Are you legal or no? No, I'm driving, though. Yeah. Wow, yeah. You're a kid who likes to drive without pants. Yeah, now, are you driving? Are you illegal?

Are you legal or illegal? Yeah, I'm legal, you know. Don't drive too close to the wall. Go to the wall and help people over. That's what it is. Yeah, you're a funny kid. Yeah, it's a funny kid. Cuz, where are you from?

I'm from Westchester. Holy shit, I'll say. We just got a New York fan base and it's what it is. It's just we got a lot of people in the tri-state area. Yeah, it's just what it is.

We're not really ranching out too well. I'm a part of where Yannis is moving. Wow. I won't say where, but you know. Yeah.

How do you even know where? Did I say it on the podcast somewhere? How do you know where I'm going? Did Chris mention it? Chris has mentioned it like 18 times. God damn it, Chris. What it is. It's not true. I'm not there. It's what it is. I'm going? Did Chris mention it? Chris has mentioned it like 18 times. God damn it, Chris.

What it is. It's not true. I'm not there. It's what it is. I'm not there. I'm not there. I am in Syosset, Long Island. You know, wherever you are.

Yeah, cuz. I'll see you out there in Westchester. Yeah. Frank Pizza. Yeah. Are you from Westchester? You grew up there? Yeah, I was in Brooklyn, Westchester. Yeah. Frank Pizza. Yeah. Are you from Westchester? You grew up there? Yeah, I was in

Brooklyn, Westchester. Nice. And what do you do, cuz? What do you do? I do AV installation of TVs in people's houses. I mean,

the ratio of kids that listen to us who know how to work with their hands is about 80 to 1. Let me tell you something. We got about an 80% rate of kids that graduated from vocational and technical high schools. It's what it is.

I guarantee you 80% of our Patreon graduated from DeVry. It's what it is. And, you know, but we're the only podcast who has fans that, like, if shit hits the fan, our fans would take care of us because they know how to install and build everything. The guy before him knows how to build pools. Yeah. And this kid does. We're safe.

You got to know your audience. From now on, if we're going to give, if you can, if you can nominate five friends to join that patron, and if they, if they have to say, you know, you could get five of your friends to join our patron. We're going to give that person whoever can get the most. We're going to give them a hundred dollar gift card to Home Depot. And then that's how we're going to get kids. Kids will work for Home Depot gift cards. Our fans will work for it.

Because just like Rite Aid, everyone knows Chrissy's name. When you go to Home Depot, everyone knows your name. They know you there, right? That's what it is. It's what it is. You're a kid. You work with your hands. Any questions for us?

No, man. You guys are the best. I appreciate it. All right, but yes. Any questions for us? No, man. You guys are the best. I appreciate it. All right. We appreciate your support, man. Thank you for being a top-level toot, non-toot. I'll see you on the ProTrump Reddit page. Yeah. All right.

Well, back to us. Jesus Christ. I mean, how many times did Chrissy say where I was thinking of buying a house and now I didn't but the thing is here's the thing I'm not going to say it anymore but it doesn't I mean we've said we live in Bay Ridge you know you said I live in Ridgewood like it's a town it doesn't matter I mean Howard Stern says the town he lives in I mean who cares it doesn't matter

I mean you know well you said more information than just that what else did I say I don't want to say it now yeah well say it afterwards yeah okay I've had to cackle stuff that's all I'm saying that. What else did I say? I don't want to say it now. Yeah, well, say it afterwards. I've had to cackle stuff. That's all I'm saying. I'm always in a blackout. Keep on top of our

cackles for our safety reasons. So what are your New Year's resolutions, guys? My New Year's resolution is to stay friendly with the present. Yeah. And to use condoms. My New Year's resolution is to continue to friendly with a present. Yeah. And to use condoms. My New Year's resolution is to

continue to love doing this podcast. 2019 has been an excellent year. I'm so thankful for you guys on our team. You guys make our podcast so good. And I'm thankful that, you know, one of my best friends in the entire world is Chrissy DiStefano. We get to make a podcast and have fun together.

My New Year's resolution is just to continue to hang out with Chris. I feel blessed. I feel blessed that I get to call my – I feel blessed that my best friend in the world also calls me his husband. Yeah. It's what we do. Yeah. It's just for two husbands. My wife – yeah.

She says that I have two wives. You got two wives. Her and Chrissy. Yeah. You're my baby gorgeous. Yeah. That's what – guys, we're Her and Chrissy. Yeah, you're my baby gorgeous. Yeah, that's right. Guys, we're coming strong in 2020.

Yeah, 2020. We're going to start doing this podcast with no clothes on. That's what it is. Yeah. Yeah, four more years. Thank you for being here. We love the phone call episodes. Thank you to all our $25 members. You get the phone call.

And we're going to call you guys again and again and again. Who knows? We're going to keep doing phone call episodes. We love you. There's also a new $50 level that's coming on where we're going to do a live stream with you, a private show for you where you can interact with us once a month. I mean, we're just doing good things. And the million

dollar tier to get the secret level Tim Dillon episode. What are Vanity and Zach and Mike's New Year's resolutions? Mine is to lose weight and be a better person. Great. I'm going to kiss you on the lips. Yeah. I mean, it's got to be so heartfelt that I felt that in my gut. Yeah. I mean, they were so sweet.

I mean, Mike is sweetie. He's the sweetest. Mike is the sweetie. We hung out on Thursday. I hung out with the boys last week. Yeah, stop bleeding them on. Yeah. I mean, we know you're having an affair with Zach. Yeah. We know you're having an affair with Zach. All right, Vanity, what's your new resolution? Where'd you guys go? I'm curious. What'd you do? No, we just chilled

and talked the content. Oh, word, word. I'm here for'm here for it where'd that's my resolution to be a little bit more woke and go see sergio more well i mean if you got any more woke i mean you're gonna be fucking you're gonna be sleepwalking yeah i mean you're a woke girl dope and woke dope and woke yeah zacky what's your new year's resolution i was hoping your new year's resolution was gonna be date a g Greek guy for a change. I agree with that. Yeah, that's what your father hopes. Your fucking your father's and your brother's.

I mean, the poor kids, they haven't seen a Greek guy walk into that fucking door in 40 years. Deadass. I mean, when you bring Zach home and he's wearing that Chewbacca jacket, your father's going to jump out the window. Till they see the finger tattoos and everything's OK. Oh, yeah. I should have killed myself when I fucking thought

this rumor. You guys, it's been a year since he's gotten those tattoos. Yeah. Talking about it. Oh, it was a year ago. Yeah. You guys are talking about it on last year's. Yeah. It's been a year since Janice called me fucking stupid, stupid tattoo finger scrabble fingers. Yeah. Yeah. Zachy, I says, Zachy, everyone knows he's

scrabble fingers. You know, he's we respect that he put those on his hands because at that point forward, he is 100% in to be a rapper or nothing because he'll never get a job. All right. Zach, what's your resolution? My resolution is just to go harder with the music, take this rap group with Jan, my best friend.

Yeah, squeak. Skyrocket it and try to push it as hard as I can. That's bad news for us because it smells like more mistakes with the music, take this rap group with Jan, my best friend. Skyrocket it and try to push it as hard as I can. That's bad news for us because it smells like more mistakes with the podcast. If you're focusing more on that and less on us, it's just bad news. But what can you do? It's your life. You live with it. Yeah, we love everybody. Yeah, we're moving the studio.

Because we can't use the bathroom now, so we're going to start doing it. So now we're making the commute a little longer. We're going to start doing this podcast live from Bay Ridge, and we'll see who stays and see who goes. I bet you the fans will actually like it more knowing we're doing it in Bay Ridge. We're going to start doing it. So now we're making the commute a little longer. We're going to start doing this podcast live from Bay Ridge, and we'll see who stays and see who goes. I bet you the fans will actually like it more knowing we're doing it in Bay Ridge. We're going to do it from the house. Yeah. I mean, it's just that's what everyone's doing.

And look, we worship at the altar of Joe Santagato. It's just what it is. If he does it, we do. We want to start making money with no socks on. That's how we – well, we did Girls Gotta Eat. I mean, Girls Gotta Eat and Joe Santagato and Danny, everyone is just in flip flops, making millions.

Tim Dillon, Tim Dillon, and his sound guy. They had no shoes on. Tim's shoes were untied. I mean, and these guys are making real money and we got to fucking deal with this shit where we can't even use the bathroom.

Yeah. I mean, I got to piss like a race. Yeah. So it's not happening. 2020 is going to be. Thank you. ប្រូវាប់ប់ប្រូវាប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប Outro Music