History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - JFK’s Piece was a Security Threat | History Hyenas

Episode Date: January 22, 2026

This week on History Hyenas, Chris and Yanni break down the legendary affairs of JFK and stack them up against Bill Clinton—two commanders-in-chief who could NOT keep it in their pants. John F. Kennedy wasn’t just running the free world, he was running through it. From White House secretaries to a mob boss’s girlfriend to even the wife of a foreign head of state, JFK’s sexual appetite knew no limits—and he risked it all while sitting in the Oval Office. The Hyenas compare JFK’s reckless behavior to Bill Clinton’s scandals, asking the real questions: Who was the dirtier dog? And how did these guys survive it politically? Join the boys as they break down one of the wildest chapters of American presidential history. #HistoryHyenas #JFK #BillClinton #PresidentialScandals #ComedyPodcast #AmericanHistory #PoliticalScandals #ChrisDistefano #YannisPappas Support our sponsors: Limited Time Offer – Get Huel’s full High-Protein Starter Kit with my exclusive offer of 20% OFF online with my code HYENA20 at https://huel.com/HYENA20. New Customers Only. Code only valid for the bundle. Thank you to Huel for partnering and supporting our show! Don’t sleep on [@ultrapouches]. New customers get 15% Off with code HYENAS at https://takeultra.com! #UltraPouches #ad Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code HYENAS. https://bluechew.com To explore coverage, visit https://ASPCApetinsurance.com/HYENAS The ASPCA® is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance #comedy #Podcast #History Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas/ Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit.ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0 Hyenas Merch!!! https://store.historyhyenaspod.com Follow us Cuz! 🙆🏻‍♂️ Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ 🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ 🐕More Hyenas Website: www.historyhyenasisback.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/historyhyenas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HistoryHyenas Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/historyhyenaspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Guys, today we're going to have a really good time talking about JFK's mistresses, comparing him to Bill Clinton's mistresses, one like to shop high class, the other one, well, whatever he can find. It's what it is. It's going to be great. There's going to be a lot of talk about a lot of things we didn't know about. And, I mean, one of the stories of his mistresses is absolutely wild and was 1,000 percent swept under the rug by our own government.

If you want to see me, I'll be February 6th. I'm Las Vegas at the MGM. David Copperfield Theater. He has been making my tickets. disappear. I am in February 7th. I'm in Morris Plains, New Jersey, and then February 20th and 21st.

You can catch me in Bakersfield, California, Janus Pappascom, for tickets. Most importantly, guys, we're doing a new series over on Patreon, our channel, with our community, called Leaky, where we're going to be finding, periodically finding the craziest people from history

and having a good time with them. Because being crazy sometimes is fun. It's fun, and it's all over at Patreon.com slash history hyenas. Now get ready to get your head blown off. What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of history. Hyenas. I'm Chris Stefano, aka. Chrissy Colossomy Bags. With me, as always, it's Yonnas Pappas, aka Yanni the hottie. Yeah, you got a new nickname now. You've had a bunch in the past, but what we are going to call you now is Chrissy cries in the shower. It's what it is. Chrissy's been crying in the shower. So I told him to get a map, and I want you to locate a

a little country called low dose on that map. Yeah, low dosavania. Low dosavania. Because because when you're crying in the shower like a lady over a couple of pounds and you still look good. Yeah. I think reality, you know, low dose can help you find it. Here's the thing, because.

You know, Waldo and you need to find reality. Cutts, here's the thing is I... You're a fucking kid. Thank you. I shared with you on the way in that I stepped on the scale and I now wait, I now weigh 229 pounds. And even though Chad GPT tells me, don't worry, you're not fat, for that to be fat, you would have to have 7,500 calorie surplus a day every day that don't worry about it.

It's glycogen, which is probably just storing water in your muscles, which you're just going to hydrate, overhydrate, and you're going to pee it out. You're going to get what's called a woosh effect, and eventually that weight's going to come right down. It doesn't help in the moment. I saw 229.2 this morning, and I sat down on my toilet, which was closed, and I started to cry. And I started to cry, and then I just, one of my daughters said, Dad, is everything okay in there? I said, yeah, honey, I'm just having allergies. It's okay. And then so I started to cry.

And then I just tried to breathe. I said, you got to get through it. I said, remember this. You know, don't fear anything. You have faith. Faith is external. Hope is internal. You have faith that you will get better.

And then I spoke to you about it. And then you told me that it was going to be okay. And then I was still very handsome and that you still loved me. And then that's why when I saw you in the coffee shop and you were facing this way, I came up and I kissed you right in the back of your head. He did. He came. He surprised.

me with a kiss right in the back of the head in the middle of a crowded coffee shop. The kid moves quit. The kid moves swiftly. The kid moves on. And that's what I like about it is. You do everything quick. And that's where it's an advantage because I do remember one time you went through a breakup and you cried to be on the phone, but it was quick and it was over.

Yeah. I was surprised. I felt almost raped by your cry. When a guy's going to cry to you over the phone, I need to be prepped on that. And the problem was is I cry to you on the phone when I went through that breakup. And then just a moment later, I had another call with the executives of Comedy Central, and I cried to them too. So that was the issue with that. And that is why I slowly but surely get no more work from Comedy Central.

Well, no, I don't think Comedy Central gets any more work from Comedy Central. Yeah, they're out of here. They're out of here. So don't worry about it. But what's happened as the disintegration of Hollywood has continued and the flourishing of the internet continues and the balance of power changes, what I've noticed is your haircut has changed just. as much as the news that we're getting. So what do we think of this one? As the advertising shifts from the digital, from the Hollywood,

your haircuts gone less Hollywood, more cop. Yeah, because you're back, because Queens, Chrissy's back. We got a guy coming in here who was a former cop. Yeah. Yeah, you're just back because you're firmly in Ridgewood. You're ready to let it rip. I'm ready to let it rip because what I keep doing is I keep trying to change my haircuts. So the advertisers, I want them to say, will you give me money now?

I try to swoop it this way, swoop it this way. So when are you going to just, I want to just, I want to sell hot dogs for you. I want to get out there and start selling some brets. I am not 100% sure nor is there any way for me to know for sure what you do in your downtime. You're a sneaky little fucking guy. Yeah. There's a good chance because that you could be in ice.

Yeah. They wear masks. There's like 10 guys I've seen in the news where I went, is that Chrissy? It's just because, and let's be honest, if I'm sitting there crying on my toilet pole because of my weight, it's not called downtime. It's called Down syndrome. It's called Down syndrome. Way's on she ain't. But we have.

had a good weekend. You got banged up. I got banged up off THC shelters and I have a little bit of you know, it doesn't, it's not, I don't have to go too far into my past to know why I probably gained six pounds over the weekend because I had a couple of THC shelters and I ate a lot, a lot, a lot of food. Yeah. A lot of food. I had two Philly cheese steaks. This is all during the, the games on Saturday. I had two Philly cheese steaks. Then I had multiple donuts. Then I had a waffle with pistachio cream. And then at the end, I said, oh, I forgot to get my protein. So I had a little bit of a protein yogurt.

But the problem with that is I put a cool whip in it. So, and then, but I turned it into an ice. You turned it into a dessert. Because I did have Waterloo Seltres, which are zero calories. Zero calories. Yeah, and I like with Waterloo's. The Waterloos are good. Yeah.

But you know what I like the most is those Chows. Yeah. Yeah, those Pellegrino Chows. Yeah, but they have 20 calories, so I can't drink them. They got 20 calories. and I'm sure they're not great for you. I'm sure there's some aspartain in it, but there does come a point where you just go, you know,

do you ever think about like, it'd be nice to just join a cult? It would be, yeah. Wouldn't it be nice to join a cult? Doesn't a good brainwashing sound good? Yeah. I understand now why people join cults because sometimes you just want to check out and tune out

and what better way than just have a guy telling you what to do. That's why I like to brainwash me, babe. Tell me the fucking aliens you're coming. Tell me, here's my wife, first of all. You always got to offer up your wife. I'm fine with that. Sure. At this point, if she was doing that, I'd say, you know, baby, good for you. Yeah.

And, you know, you just get brainwashed and you just don't think. It would be nice to just not think, have people bring me my food, tell me what they eat. Sure. Just do that. Well, that's why I like taking those orange theory classes, because you just go, they put you a little heart rate monitor on, and you just go, and you have a coach saying, come on, get it. Yeah. And then you just go, and then they always do a thing. Well, they say, you know, if you're, because you have to class don't a treadmill, and they'll say, if you're a power walker, put the treadmill to four.

or 3.5, and if you're a jogger, go to five and up. So what I like to do is I go four. I go in between it. I'm not a power walker, but I'm not a jogger. You're an in-betweener. I'm an in-betweener. And it makes me feel good, and I watch my heart rate. And then, you know, unfortunately for me right now, I still am in a time where I'll do that.

And then I'll say, you know, I earn that and I'll go get myself a bagel or, you know, a fatty food and a muffin. And that's why I'm 229. But I am going to get down. I think you and I spoke about this by April 15th tax day. I'm going to be 2-10. Yeah, because you show me a picture of what made you cry, and you just got in such good shape that that's just not sustainable. Yeah, on the-

Happiness in that is just not sustainable. On the Patreon, for all the gay guys out there, we're going to post a picture of what my target bod is. Yeah. We're going to post that, and if you look really close, I pissed in my pants. Yeah. Yeah, I just have a full... So we're going to post that on the Patreon.

This is what I'm trying to get to. And you know what? Honestly, Yanni, you telling me that that's not sustainable actually made me feel better, because I was like, you know what, you're right. As long as my numbers are good. Yeah. As long as my cholesterol is good.

As long as your numbers are good, you look the same. You look great. Yeah. Because the good thing about you and this is where you're lucky. First of all, you know, you got good jeans. Right. You're a good looking guy. You always look good.

Except for when we were doing the bracket, you looked fat. I looked fat there. Yeah. And I looked special needs. Yeah. Right. So, but besides that, you also have the gift where you get. This is what I think I look like when I look in the mirror.

The thing is you get. You get big in areas that are under clothes. Right. You never really rarely, unless you get really fat, put it on the face. Right. It goes to your thighs and it goes brass. Yeah. Now, could I ever look like that?

Is there a point where you could blow out to that? And would that be the fun? Would that be a 10 out of 10? Yeah, because you do, your jeans, in my opinion, your jeans are like first half a life good. Right. And then second half a life. Blow out. That's why you're starting to get like styes.

Yeah. Yeah. What you got to do is you got to look at Daytony and go, that's what you're supposed to look like? Well, that's what you're going to have to work against that. Well, Jazz already said that. She's like, you know, I'm starting to notice already that you like have mannerisms like your dad now. You know, the skin tag. She's like, you know, your butt is like a triangle. She was like, you know, and I just, she was like, she was like, she's actually having second thoughts. She's like, I don't know. And I, that's why I told that. I said, jazz, you should have got, you know, you caught me at 30. You should have married me at 30. But now you're starting to get into these, to these latter years.

I don't know what you're doing either. Yeah. There's no doubt about it in my mind if you didn't get Nicked a little bit. Right. You'd be sitting in a Dunkin' Donuts looking through the New York Post, drinking a coffee with way too much milk and way too much sugar. Sure. Sitting in New Balance with the Velcro straps on them.

Yep. And shorts with really, really thick kind of purplish bottom legs. Yep. Yeah. There's no question. That would be you. And I would call that my office. Yeah.

That would be just where you kind of hung out. Yeah. Yeah. And so you got nicked and, you know, a lot of people think gay's a bad thing, but right there, gay's a good thing. Yeah. Because everything good about you is gay. That is true. Everything good about me is gay. And that's the name of the episode, folks. Everything good about me is gay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think, I think because, you know, that's where all your talents come from. You know what's funny too about gay and I'm happy, like, you know, that we're just getting back to a world where we can kind of say something. So I was at the comedy seller a couple of nights ago and I won't name names, but a comedy. who we know, I'll tell you on the Patreon, great guy, you know, a little bit of like, you know, an anxious kind of, you know, Julie kind of guy. He goes, you know, we were talking about how the new coach

of the Giants is Harbaugh, great coach, Superwinning coach, and he goes, and he goes, yeah, he was like, I want to love him. He's like, I love the Giants. He goes, but now all of a sudden and I found out Harbaugh is a MAGA guy. He's like, what are I supposed to do? Now it's a MAGA guy.

And so there's a gay comedian sitting at the table and a black comedian sitting at the table, and this comic is going down to do his spot. He goes, yeah, he's a mag guy. And then the black comedian goes, yo, you sound like a fagga. And it got the gay kid and the black guy who just were laughing at him.

And you're just like, okay, there you go. Because the gay guy laughed. The black guy made the joke. Everything's fine. And I was just like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But that is funny if I'm, if for gay Republican,

should be called faga. They should be called faga. Is there? Should we start faga? F-A-G-A. And where it's like we, you know what it? Games for Trump is Saga. Has anyone said that already?

I don't know. I've never heard it. I don't know if I've ever heard it. Well, Nick's writing it down. Yeah, but if you've, if you really, if you tailor your life based on the political opinions of the people who are doing things that you enjoy, you're going to really box yourself in. You're going to box yourself in. You're going to watch a giant game because a guy. Could you like Donald Trump?

I mean, he's not doing it on the football field. Yeah. I mean, that's just, that's unbelievable that we've gotten to that point. There was a day in this country. where the personal opinions or the personal life of a politician or somebody of import was just not something that was on the radar of the public. Sure. Because they were more concerned with his job performance.

Right. Right. So we're going to talk today about a very well-known guy named JFK, but we're not going to talk about JFK and what he did, Bay of Pigs. We're not going to talk about that. The conspiracy. Yeah. We're not going to talk about his policies.

We're going to talk about. a little thing that was called his personal life, which is well known, but we're going to have a fun time with it. Not as much of a fun time as JFK have because what you're going to find out is we had one president, I would say two probably, that definitely belonged squarely and firmly with two feet inside the program. Yeah. Yeah. JFK was a sex addict. I mean, guys, the program exists because of JFK. JFK and we'll make a little reference to a guy named Billy Clinton because it's just funny to compare that Billy Clinton he liked he liked trash he like yeah and because your initial idea was JFK versus Bill Clinton for for a pusoff yeah which I thought was funny yeah great for a pushoff which I thought was funny um and you know you you you uh what did you say I mean we we we had some funny text we did we can read the

those on the Patreon as well read those on the Patreon and we're going to well maybe we'll name some names there were some funny kids that got mentioned that they're going to get tuned up yeah no we just said it would be nice sometimes just a nice tuning I think would help the person who's doing the tuning and the person who's getting tuned up it'd be nice to just tune people up you know punch of people in the face again would be nice just I think it helps everyone sometimes yeah now because you were in you know we're going to get to JFK we're going to talk but you were in a little place called Royal Oak, Michigan, which in the state of Michigan, which is known as the American Caliphate.

Yeah. So how was it? How did you feel? Did you have to, was it there Sharia law? What was going on? Yeah. Well, Royal Oak, Michigan, you know, they call it Royal Oak Michigan. But what I like to call it is white flight suburb of Detroit.

Sure. Yeah. So every white stronghold. It's a white stronghold. It's something I think everyone who lives there had a parent or a grandparent that, you used to live in Detroit and then they left their house one day and they went, wow, something's changed here. We're going to go a little farther out.

Yeah. And so they went to Royal Oak because when you looked at the audiences, because if I took a picture of those audiences in Royal Oak and said, hey, I'm in Detroit. People would go, stop lying. That's not what the Wikipedia page says. Yeah, that's Aspen. I mean, it looked like Aspen. I mean, it was a white area and it was a good time.

It was really cold. Right. So I don't know. I didn't see a lot of muzzies. I mean, you know, they just weren't. I think that's Dearborn. They're in Detroit. But aren't they everywhere now?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's just one of those things where I just was interested because, you know, you're way outnumbered. Yeah, but I took a drink from the faucet and I was thinking, oh, no, Flint's only an hour away. Right. So I don't know. I took a drink from the faucet.

Have they fixed that yet? They haven't. Are you okay with getting rid of Michigan? No, Michigan, I wanted to. Michigan, I'd like to stay, but I wanted to get rid of Minnesota. I posted a picture on the history of in is with me. My daughters did my makeup when I got tuned up on THI did my makeup. And I said, that's what a man in Minnesota looks like right now.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's what it is. I'm not saying, you know, I mean, there's just a lot of problems over there in Minnesota. And I'm good, I'm good getting rid of it. And I just want to go back to the fun again. Like, to be honest with you, I want to go back to the, you know, Bill Clinton having fun. Bill Clinton was just having fun. You know, I'm a little tired of everything being so serious.

Like, I mean, let's get fun. Like, who's the new Epstein? Well, I think it's really funny. Yeah. I think it's really funny when you think about it. Think about it. Like, so the GOP back then, the Republican Party, was trying to take down Bill Clinton because he was, does it get funnier than sticking a cigar and a girl's pussy?

No. I don't know if it gets funnier than that. And what I'd like to call that is a loophole. Yeah, that's a loophole because he didn't put anything besides it. Well, he ended up putting a lot of other things in there too. What do you get a blowie? He got a blowy, and I think he banged it out. But it's like, are we really, the President of United States,

We're going to say you got to get impeached because you got a blowy. What is this high school? It's crazy. You got a blowy? I mean, first of all, Monica Lewinsky will get cracked. She will get clean. She will get punched through.

Is there anything? Because like Monica Lewinsky, like for like a secretary or whatever it was that position, that's a nice one to bang out. Yeah. Right? Yeah, that's a real nice one. And she is hot. She is. Monica Lewinsky's hot.

She'll get banged out. Yeah. And so, yeah, I mean, I'm just saying that would, We went from a Republican Party or a GOP that spent so much money trying to take this guy down over a blowy in the overall office to now electing a guy who, I mean, fucked porn stars. Yep. His wife, we seen her tits. Right. I mean, have you thought about, there's only been one president who we've seen the first lady's tits?

Yeah. That's great. Yeah. I mean, Melania is the hottest. 100%. then Barbara Bush. Yeah. Yeah, Barbara put George W.

I know Sol Joel puts Barbara Bush. Yeah, Barbara Bush. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, we've seen Melania's tits. I mean, there she is right there. Those are her tits. I mean, yes. That's the first lady's tits. It's just what it is. And so it's just, isn't that funny that swing?

She's still gorgeous. Oh, she is number one. I mean. Yeah. And I'm not saying anything else about her except for the fact that we've seen her tits. We've just seen her tits. And it's funny that Barbara Bush is not bad either. I'm just saying. Rest in peace, of course.

Yeah, was she hot when she was younger, though? 100%, dude. I would put George W.'s wife. She was kind of hot. And his daughters were beautiful, too. I mean, George Bush will get cracked open. Yeah, he's a good-looking guy. Good looking guy.

Yeah, he's a good-looking guy. But that is a big switch, no? Yeah, look, somebody put pictures of young Barbara, and she still got her. Yeah, it's just what it is. It's why I'm into it. Yeah. She looks more like a guy. Now, guys.

You said JFK. I mean, she really looks. looks like a guy. Look at the left top left one. That's what it is. Yeah. Now, you were, where did you come up with the idea? Like what popped to your mom and you said, let's talk about the girls JFK banged out? Because I was thinking about it and I just thought that it was really funny and just indicative of another time that I think we've kind of returned to a little bit with the election

of Trump because he was a guy. I mean, the sexual scandals go all the way back, even as far as did this guy possibly sleep with girls that had the teen word there. Right. And he was friends with Ebsey and whatever. And like 77 million Americans were just like, you know. And back then, JFK was doing all this. The press knew. I'll go even farther and tell you, which is true, that his wife knew.

Sure. His wife was aware. Sure. But she was just, it was just at that time, it was just like this is not pertinent. President's wife when it comes to push, sometimes you've got to just agree to disagree. You know what I mean? You got to just say, and you got to tell,

I think what you explain to the wives when you're the president of the United States and you say, listen, babe, listen to me. El Presente now, I can do this. I'm not going to play offense. I'm not going to go looking for puss. But I can't tell you I'm going to play defense. Right, right, right.

If they come at me and somebody comes up to me and says they want to stick, you know, a lady asked me, Mr. President, can you stick your cigar on my pussy? I can't play defense. I'm not going to ask to do it. We're doing a run-and-gun offense. That's all it is. Yeah.

Offense, you have my vows. Yeah. But I ain't playing deep. Yeah, what we're doing is we're doing a little Mike Dan Tony running gun. It's what it is. We're going to run up the numbers. Yeah. We're going to try to outscore them.

Yeah, that's what I think guys, I play, I will not play offense. Right. Defense, it's like, what do you want me to do if this piece right here is saying, I'd love to put my lips on your presidential cards. Right. I mean, that's play, that's when you just say, you know what? what? This is an American. I took an oath to the American people to give them what they asked for and hear their concerns. I'm not playing offense. She asked on, I told you, I can't play defense. Right. Plus being the head of the executive branch is very stressful. Sure. Can we thank these women

for their service a little bit? 100%. Mono Gowinski, can we thank you for your service? Thank you for your service. Thank you for actually keeping the country safe. And listen, no disrespect to Hillary, but it's like, do you want to bang a lady who's wearing shoulder pads? in her suits. That's all I'm saying. Put yourself in Bill's shoes. I'm not saying right or wrong, but it's like if your wife's walking around in a pants suit with shoulder pads.

Yeah, that's right. You know what I mean? Like your wife is dressed like a safety in the NFL. So that's what I'm saying. If your wife is dressed like Ed Reed from the Ravens, like, what do you want me to do? I'm going to bang out something else. Yeah, what am I supposed to do? That's all I'm saying.

I'm not saying it's right or wrong. I'm just saying like you put yourself in his shoes. Right, right. Him going Epstein's Island and banging 13 year olds? That I can't go with that. I can't go with that one. Right. We're banging out Monica Lewinsky and just, you know, hunt, I'm playing defense.

For this episode, we're going to go with what we know, not what the rumors are, not with what we might suspect about both Trump or Clinton or whatever. But I will tell you about JFK. JFK did go as low as 19. That's on the, that's documented. And so this is how funny it was. Now 19, but 19 is legal. Legal, completely legal. It's a late.

What is legal in the U.S.? Are we 17 or 18? Depends on the state. That's what makes it a little confusing. Let me just tell you, boys, if you're ever out there in a situation and you have to, you're with the girl and you have to Google if her age is legal, then just don't do it. Just don't do it. If you have to ask chat GPT, hey, I'm in this state. Yeah.

I would leave. Yeah, that's what you want to do. But 19 is solidly legal everywhere. Wow. 35 states have an age of consent of 16. Right. A handful have 17. And in 11 states, it's 18.

Well, check this out. 16 is actually the most common age of consent. in the country. That doesn't mean socially it's going to be looked upon well. Right. If you're like in your 30s or well. So you're saying if you're like in whatever one of these states and you're 50 years old, you can bang out a

16 year old, no problemo legally. If you go to the grim and you see she has a locker? Yeah. Don't do it. Don't do it. That's what it is. Standing by a locker? Yeah. Don't do it. Don't do it. Because here's a simple rule.

Here's a simple rule that I want to boy, if she has a pediatrician, don't do it. This happened. It's what it is. I mean, she's gorgeous. She was gorgeous, but she was swiftly and sternly 17 years old and he was 39. It's what it is. So it's what it is.

Different time. Different time, I guess, whatever. So, but JFK had two secretaries, one of which I think was 19. And what's really funny about- She got cracked open. got cracked open. And so did a friend. They both got cracked open. What it is. And the Secret Service had a nickname

for him because the Secret Service knew about it and they protected them. And I think it was what was it? Fibble and Fable? Huh? I don't know. Yeah, let's Google it. He had a name for them. The Secret Service just called them Fibble and Fable or Fable and Fibble or something like that. And they were, these just two chicks that he would bang out at different times.

Okay. So I don't know, he would probably be on the phone with the Russians or whatever. And didn't he bang a lot of guys' wives on one of the conspiracies is that's why he's got clipped is because he was banging a mafia guy's wife or something? Him and Giacana banged the chick around the same time. Who's Giacna? My boss?

Sam Giacana. Yeah, he was a mob boy. He was a mob boy. Oh, we're going to get to it. Yeah, we'll get to it right after. Fiddle and fattel. Fiddle and fattel. Because I want to talk to you about fuel.

I mean, they got a high protein starter kit, and you know what I like? Because today we're doing it. We're filming this episode on MLK Day. It might come out the day later, but they got a little thing called black edition powder. That's what I like. That's what I like. I don't know if it has, I don't even know if it's black, but they have black edition powder and I'm into it. And also, the thing that's great about Hewle is they sent us these high protein starter kits. And like you said, we got to load down on the carbs and go protein first. We, Yanni and I have both, Yanni and I collectively

in this podcast, if we're going to be honest, because Jesse's doing great, Nick is doing great, but collectively between us, this podcast is put on 50 pounds. Yeah. So we have to... We added another guy in wait. We have to get it off. And the only way to get it off is up to protein, lower the carbs, which is exactly what Hewle does, ready to drink. It's a complete meal, 35 grams of protein, 27 essential vitamins and minerals, no artificial sweeteners. And it actually tastes good.

Now, you can sweeten it with your own jizz. That's up to you. That's up to you. But I'm not saying you do that. You don't have to do that. No, the black edition chocolate powder is absolutely delicious. Thank you, Hewle, for sending it to us. they're just it's great that's what I've been using and it's uh I'll make a whole smoothie out of it

it's great yeah and uh sometimes you can even you can just shake it with water too so it makes it a lot easier it's either way you can do it either way and it's good and it still hits the same protein goals you're looking for so for limited time only baby this is not here forever get huell's full high protein starter kit online with our code hyena 20 for 20% off at huel dot com slash hyena 20 that's h uel dot com slash h yenna 20 new customers only thank you to huel for partnering and supporting our show honestly it just makes hitting your protein goals a lot less stressful just easier i've seen these ads online you've seen these ads online i am excited because eventually i want to get off nicotine okay and ultra is a good way to do it these new

no tropic neotropics what do you how do you pronounce that um nootropics nootropics yeah packed with nootropics these are little pouches that are designed for mental clarity and enhanced focus it's it gives you the same kick as the nicotine pouch so it's a little pouch you put in they come in the same tin so if you're trying to kick nicotine it's good even if you're not kicking nicotine but you want um you know a nice little buzz without the crash and you don't want to get addicted like nicotine um it's It's great. No vaso constriction, because nicotine does, it does do that. And vaso constriction are going to raise your blood pressure, hunt, and I can't afford that.

Yeah. Also, it's going to be bad for your gums at some point. It's just what it is, right? My gums can't get any more swollen. Yes, so this helps with sleep. It makes you wake up feel more alert, sharper, smooth energy, mood balance, enhanced memory, calm, steady flow state. Especially with January right now, you know, I mean, things get a little gloomy over here,

especially on the East Coast, and, you know, everyone's got goals, this, that, like, sleep is a big thing. And all these things, like, you know, that's where I know it's different. These other companies, I mean, it's just like you can't sleep with them, but this falling asleep is easier, waking up, you actually feel rested because, you know, like they said, nicotine pouture, you spike your resting heart rate at night. So that kills your body's brain and ability to recover. So this one doesn't do that.

You get the mood balance nice. You get smooth energy. You get enhanced memory. Get a calm, steady flow state and focus, all with zero. nicotine and natural neutropics. Yes, no caffeine, no nicotine. Ultra is the ultimate guilt-free pouch. You put it right in.

Delivering instant focus and mental clarity without nicotine or caffeine, new customers can use the code hyenas to get 15% off at take ultra.com. That's take ultra.com for 15% off with the code hyenas. After your purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please tell them that the history hyenas sent you. Fiddle and Faddle. That would be funny if you just said to the Secret Service guys, just bring me fiddle. Fiddle, yeah.

And then they bring, sir, I'm sorry, I thought you said fattel. No, I need someone to fiddle on my dick, not fable. Yeah, yeah. Do I look like I'm in a fiddle mood today? Bring me fattel. So their names are Priscilla Ware and Jill Cowan. Now, I got to be honest, Priscilla Ware sounds hot. Jill Cowan sounds like a whale.

So let's see Is Jill Cowan a hottie? She's probably a snow Well that's the thing about JFK is he didn't really do fives He did dance Yes I'm just a little different Yeah I mean He uh

You know Well the funny thing is when you see them now Right It's just they just Well they blow out They blow out yeah Yeah Jill count They were young

I mean Oh yeah I mean They're all yeah they're all pieces They can all get cracked They all get cracked They all will get cracked Meryl He cracked

Supposedly he also had a secret one with Aubrey Hepburn, who when you look at her when she was young, I mean, a 10. Deep. I mean, for Rome. Yeah. I mean, the kid was like a Roman emperor. For Rome. He also liked prostitutes.

It's what it is. The kid liked a few toots. Well, I say it's a loophole. It's taxpayers' money. Yeah. I mean, the President of the United States liked working girls. So does the President of the United States take taxpayer money to pay for a toot or do it, or do you, does a tut just do it for free?

I think you come out of pocket for that one. Yeah, I think you whip out the old money clip for that one. You do cash. Yeah. You do cash. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, even if we do it at the White House, it's what it is. What it is. He would go skinny dipping with a lot of girls.

They would get naked. I mean, he said supposedly fibble and fable were always wet. Their hair was wet because the kid like to go skinny dipping. But you know what's crazy is like obviously we look down upon all that. I mean, you know, we're having fun with it, but there's people out there like, there's a scostag. And then it's like, look at a Kings from like 200 years ago. 300 years ago, I mean, this would be nothing.

It wouldn't even be a story there. But yeah, of course, you just have a million mistresses. Yeah, yeah. You have concubines, right? That's what they call them. Yeah, and you can't, you can't put any of the, um, responsibility or blame on the women. Those are the rules. That's the rules. Those are the rules. Those are always the rules. We have, we have, they all, he should have known better all the time. Right. Not them. Right. You know, apparently, apparently women are all like special needs before they turn 45. Right. Like they have no agency of their own. He used his power over her.

Yeah, all that. But the fact that the human vagina is the most powerful weapon ever created is irrelevant. That doesn't count. No. Yeah. Yeah. These girls had no idea what they were doing. Yeah. They were all like brainwashed. Right.

They couldn't see past his power. Like he just, he always should have known better. Right. They knew he was married. But, you know, that doesn't count. Yeah. That just doesn't count. Right.

That just a woman, which is funny because of the one side, it's like, respect women, equality, our brains are just as good as men, and we're all just good as good as men. Men are stupid. Except, except what a married man has an affair, then it was only his fault. Yeah. It was not the woman's fault. There's no blame, nothing. Women stand as one.

That's why it was easier or much easier to be Obama because he was gay. That's an advantage that he had. Yeah. It's just, it really, it makes it a little easier when you're in she-mails. you're in the shit. We're just kidding. I love you, President Obama. We know you're listening.

But I'm saying there's just less of a pool. Nick almost walked out. Nick has a paper bag that he breathes into when things start to get hot in here. He just breathes into paper bag which is supposed to throw. You know how I know Nick's on SNAP benefits? Because he brings a thermos. It's got it. Because bring the list back up.

He's got his fucking soup in the thermo. Because so, he was. was just a high class guy. It's classy, but he didn't once in a while. Everyone, everyone likes to eat a five-star restaurants, but we all do like a nice dollar slice once in a while, but mix it out. There's a couple of times where I've had a couple of dollar slices and very good friends of mine have tried to talk me out of it. Yeah. I said, I'm having a dollar slice. I'm having a dollar slice. Because the kid would go high. Okay, so. I mean, the wife is Jackie Kennedy, who's beautiful. Who's a piece. And if your middle name's Bouvier, you're, I'm in. Yeah, if your name's Bouvier,

you definitely got a couple dollars. You're definitely from a legacy family. Then Mary Pinchot Meyer. Again, if the middle name's Pinchot, I'm in. Now, this is the interesting one, come. Why is she interesting? Because she got shot and killed and wasn't robbed just on the street. So it's just...

Why did that happen to Lewinsky? Yeah. You think Bill was like, hey, how do we handle this? And you think the CIA at the time was like, well, we could go the JFK route. It could, yeah. But I think, I think, you know what? I think he asked. I think Bill Clinton at least ass.

Do you swear to God you think he for real ass? I think he looked into it. Yeah. I think he looked into it once he found out that there was some rumblings going on with Kenneth Starr. By the way, Kenneth Starr. Who's Kenneth? Can you educate it? I don't know the name. Kenneth Starr was the guy who was investigating Clinton.

Okay. And got the dress and was like taking samples of the semen. I mean, if we could get Kenneth Starr's internet history based on his face, not good. Not good. Not good. Hold on. This is my garage guy. Okay, go for it.

Yeah, here's a look at Kenneth Starr. What do you think that guy's into? Yeah, that guy's probably into the same things as Larry Nassar, the gymnastics coach. It doesn't look good. Yeah. It does not look good. So this chick was interesting, and this is one of the most interesting things about JFK, is he had a long affair with this chick, but this chick was married to a top CIA guy before, right? Okay.

So she was married to this guy, Cord Meyer, before. They were divorced, whatever. But she started a long affair with JFK. And then in 1964, after he was murdered, JFK was already dead. He was already dead. But it was right after he died. Like the first day after the war on commission started. She's just walking down the street and somebody just plugs her in the back of the head.

And they just blamed a black guy. Wow. You ended up getting it. You don't have to wage Jean-Gian. It's just back. Can you actually pull that? That's because why have we met? is that not a massive story?

Exactly. Because the media, wow, let's go into this. This is interesting. Let's go. Jesse, yeah, let's pull up death, murder. Yeah, let's just get into this.

Yeah, go to chat. Because we're the chat. You've got to use chat. Google can suck it. Yeah, chat is quicker. And then we're going to grok to end the episode because I want to come. Yeah.

Jesse has something against chat. Well, Jesse, what I've noticed about Jesse is the way he's dressing and the way that he's, you know what I mean? He better stop it because he's coming in here looking cute every day. Yeah, you might. kiss him on the back of the head. You have to get kissed on the back of his head. Because, will you kiss Nick on the back of the head?

No, because I don't want to get psoriasis on my lip. No, Nick's got, Nick's got good skin. I'll kiss Nick on the back of his head. But he's got so much hair. Yeah, so someone came up, just walked behind her. Okay. She got shot twice, point blank range. One time in the head, one in the heart. So whoever was doing it, you know, wanted to make sure she was dead.

Yeah, so that's not a, like, I don't think that's a, uh, like, I don't think that's a random robbery to get shot in the head and the heart. Well, here's the thing is she wasn't robbed at all. So it was just somebody walked up, shot her in the back of the head, and that was it. And they arrested Roy Crump Jr. Ray Crump Jr. Yeah, Ray Crump Jr. It was just a black day laborer found nearby.

Who sometimes guests on Tim Dillon's podcast. Yeah, that's right. And he was, I guess, somewhere around the scene. there was no murder weapon ever recovered and no forensic evidence linking it to the crime. So he was acquitted. So Myers' murder gained retrospective interest in 1976

when it was revealed she had been a mistress of JFK. Long time mistress. Following a death, the scramble ensued to find a private diary. Her brother-in-law and CIA counterintelligence chief James Jesus Angleton were both involved in locating it. Bradley later admitted the diary detailed her affair with Kennedy allegations of drug use, notably from Timothy Leary that Meyer introduced JFK to marijuana and possibly LSD, seeking to influence him toward world peace.

Right. Okay. So the case remains unsolved. It's featured in true crime media. See, this is, but this, it's not really that featured. It's not, it's really not, the thing is in the world that we live in is like this is such a major thing that could connect it all. And it just gets swept under the rug like the movie with Pete Davidson and Eddie Merr. just nobody saw it.

Nobody saw it. Nobody knew what happened. It's Pete Davidson and Eddie Murphy, two of the biggest comedy stars of our time in the movie came out six months ago. Yeah, yeah. So it's just things, we just live in a different kind of world. Yeah, well, one of them is legendary. One of them you would never think ever

if you saw he was in a movie, nobody would know about it. Eddie Murphy, and it just came and went, and we didn't even know what happened. So then they're saying others like biographer Nina Burley believe it was likely a botched sexual assault and that Ray Crump may have actually been the killer despite his acquittal. And the thing is, is a shot to the head and a shot to the heart just doesn't sound like something a man named Ray Crump could pull off. No. This is, well, obviously, this was

not that. Obviously, and they say, and they say in Mary's Mosaic, this author suggests the CIA assassinated her because she knew too much about the JFK assassination or was planning to go public with secrets found in her diary. I know we're going to talk about sex and JFK, but it just needs be said that there is absolutely positively no way our own government did not kill our president. There's no. It's just not possible anymore. Just no way possible that this chick was killed for any other reason except for whatever she knew. Yeah. Yeah. They just were like, you know what? She shouldn't be on the planet anymore. Too much of a risk. Yeah, it's just, you have to just accept what I told you is that the government

killed the president. It's a very good chance. It's a very good chance. It's just a very likely thing. And I don't think I'm saying, I think we all know, right? Well, what I think is even funnier about it is there is film of it and he's shot from the front. It's what you do. It goes like that. You're shot from the back. Yeah, it's just what it is. It's one of the biggest gas lights we've ever had.

And I think it's very, very fitting that the airport is named after him, JFK Airport, because when you go through security there, it feels like you got shot in the head. It's right. And it just doesn't make sense that the guy that shot him said that I'm a patsy because guys that usually do do the killing. if they're lone assassins, they want the credit. Sure. Right? You know, like John Wilkes Booth, who we covered last week. By the way, we took a lot of shit, rightfully so.

What did we do wrong? It was my mistake. What did we do? I said Andrew Johnson was easy on the South. It was the, I mean, that Andrew Johnson was too harsh on the South. Okay. And it was actually the opposite. Yeah.

So I am an idiot. Well, we all, and we all make mistakes. I was talking about Robert E. Lee's father, and I kept calling him lightfootly, and it's light horsey. So again, we are the history hiatus. We're kind of crazy when it comes to history. Yeah, I mean, I just, a couple people on the Patriot just let us, they just wanted to reiterate that we're full-blown.

It's just what it is. And I can't disagree with that. Yeah, yeah. I can only affirm that it's true. And I can only affirm that if you're, the email, I received an email saying, somebody saying that they were out my show in West Virginia a week and a half ago, and they were very upset that I was saying. saying that Minnesota should be removed from the United States.

And we should get rid of Minnesota. And they said it's too soon. An innocent person died. And what I have to say to you is I have a group that you can join. And it's called fag up. Way song she ain't. So any, just know that you're going to start seeing F.A. dot G.A.

If you make any comments us, just know that that's the group. And we encourage the fans. That's the group that certain people belong. We have a place for you. Yeah. It's a little place where you can be who you want to be. you know, you can make America gay again. It's called Fagga.

You may not be aware that you belong in that group, but we will tell you. We'll tell you. We'll let you know. One of the comments that was brought to my attention, which was my favorite, was, guys, I love the show. You guys are hilarious. But Jesus, read a book. Yeah, well, no, we're not.

We've told you that we went from the Wikipedia sluts to the chat GPT sluts. We're not reading a book. We're not reading a book. That just kind of, I think that we could put. put that as the description of her show. Hey, you guys are going to really enjoy this, but these two guys don't read. Yeah. Yeah. Never read a book.

Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, that was good. Yeah, because we explain history the way we see it. Yeah. Or the way we have time enough to understand how it happened. Yeah. See, you know how George Washington, his best attribute, Benjamin Franklin said, is he sees things

as they are, not as he wishes they were? Well, we're the opposite. We see things as we wish they were. not as they are. Exactly. That's how we live. That's how we do it. Yeah. Oh, God, that comment made me laugh. So, yeah, I mean, she was just killed. So Meyer got capped. And now let's get a Judith

Campbell-Exner. He likes banging out chicks with three names. Yeah, he does. Back then a lot of people had three names. I kind of like going back to three names. Yeah. She was just the chick that also was banging Sam Giacana. Some girls

just get cracked. And was she a piece? Yeah, she was a piece. And supposedly, according to her, she was relaying information between JFK and Sam Giacana. But that's according to her. That's according to, yeah, and here she is, she's a piece.

She's a piece, dude. Yeah, so these girls, and that's Sam Gene Kana, the mob boss, yeah. Yeah, so suppose, also Frankie Sinatra probably was supposedly... Probably clipped that, yeah. He said he tapped it too, took it down, whatever you want, body it, you know,

punched through, however you want to say it. Yeah, I mean, These girls got cracked. They got cracked open. And you know what? I got to be honest with you. It's like, you know what I mean? Like I don't, I won't sit here and say Judith Campbell, Exner's a bad lady.

It's like, you're a beautiful woman. You're getting banged out. No. By the top people in the world. Good for you. Yeah, exactly. And, you know, to bang, Frank Sinatra, JFK, Sam Giacana. This was a kind of chick you knew who could really suck a dick.

Yeah. And we're going to tell you who else JFK filled up right after this message. from better help. Cause, tell me about Blue Cho. You know me. I'm rock hard right now. Yeah. I love Blue Chew.

I want a rock hard cock and I want to see yours. And the only dick that I'm ever willing to stick inside my body is a blue chew dick. That's it. A B-C-D. Because I can almost tell the difference. I can almost tell the difference when you're using something else. Yeah. Because I know that boner is American.

made. That's what it is. It's one of the boys. It's one of the boys. Blue Chew, it fights for freedom. I mean, my dick is always ready to serve this country. It's red, white, and blue. That's what it is. It's red, white, and blue, too. It's what it is, because, yeah, my fucking, that's why my rock hard cock slaps America's enemies. Blue Chewold gold is the newest innovation from the number one chewable E.D. brand. This ain't your grandpa's little blue bill? The four and one beast that's set in the gold standard for performance. We're talking. two ingredients for blood flow that keep your rocket pumping mixed with apomorphine and oxytocin to turn up the arousal and connection in your brain and body.

Sometimes I don't even work out. I just take a blue chew and sit there. Yeah. And I just let it go. And then we've got a special deal for our listeners. Of course, you're going to get 10% off your first month of Blue Chew Gold with Code Hyenas. That's promo code hyenas. Visit Bluatu.com for more details and important safety information.

And we thank Blu for sponsoring this podcast and most importantly sponsoring our dicks. Yeah. Because we all got dogs in here. I got a dog. We got dogs. If you have a dog, it's really important that you have dog insurance. Yeah. Just in case something happens, you don't want to be caught off guard.

No. You want a little assurance. Yeah. You need pet insurance. And we got a great way here to help you get pet insurance. Okay, this is a quick message from our sponsor today. The ASPCA Pet Health Insurance Program. Yeah.

Yeah. So these days, we insure just about everything. This is from them. Care that lose value the second we drive them. What cars? Okay, I'm having problems reading. What? Cars, what happened?

You're a little bit off the beam. Are you sundowning again? We sundowning, and this character I'm doing doesn't know how to read good. Because let me tell you, life with a pet, it's full of surprises. It is. You get a chewed up sock. You get a spur of the moment adventure, an unexpected vet bill, a tongue in the ass. Things happen.

That's why ASPCA pet health insurance is worth checking out. Their plans are flexible, easy to customize, and help you stay prepared for whatever your dog or cat gets into. The best part, there's a special perk for signing up because two things I love, a perk and a jerk. Yeah. When you enroll in ASPCA pet health insurance plan, you could get a $25 Amazon gift card. It's a little treat for you while you're doing something great for your pet.

Okay. Now, to explore coverage, visit ASPCA Pet Insurance. com slash hyenas. That's ASPCA pet insurance.com slash hyenas. Eligibility restrictions apply. Visit ASPCA pet insurance.com slash Amazon terms for more info.

This is a paid advertisement. Insurance is underwritten by either Independent American Insurance Company or the United States Fire Insurance Company and produced by PTZ Insurance Agency Limited. The ASPCA is not insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance. Because in order for her to ignore

how dangerous a position she was in and the kind of high stakes position she was in. Yeah. And in order to convince these guys, you know, if you're, if you bang the head of the mafia and then you're another guy and you're going to bang that chick and you know that the head of the mafia likes this chick, the head game must be so crazy that it just takes your mind and goes, you know, it's worth it. Yeah.

Yeah, it's worth it. Yeah. I mean, I'm telling you, I bet you should play with the balls. I bet you should lick the tape. 100%. She might have went back door and fucking cleaned up the smash bean. God, there's no way this woman didn't leave every meeting with a dirty Sanchez. There's no way.

And there's no way. She left every meeting look like Nick. Yeah. She looked like the stick. And there's no way JFK with the amount of tail that he consumed. There's no way the guy didn't get a little freaky and didn't like his asshole to get clean. There's no way that JFK didn't like a little, what we like to call street sweepers. Yeah.

Yeah, there was no way there wasn't a street sweepers. Twitter back there. Now, because, is there anybody in the modern history that got more pus than JFK or was he numero no? Dude, he, the estimates that are known, what's just known, is 50 while he was married in, how long was he president? A couple years. And he banged out 50.

One of them was Marilyn Monroe, who's the Kim Kardashian of the day. Yeah. And don't forget how busy a president is. Yeah. The kid found time. Found time. He found time. And he got, and then he had Priscilla Ware, who was actually the sister of JFK's friend, Jill Cowan.

Mimi Alfred, who was 19. Yeah, that was one. Angie Dickinson, who was a supermodel. Yeah, Angie Dickinson. And Mimi Alfred was either fibble or fable. Okay. A Gunila von Post, who is the sweetest aristocrat. See, Janice sees a girl like, see, a woman like Gunilla von Post.

you you like it well here's a thing that's clean you you saying she's Swedish she's no fumata you like the name yeah you yeah yeah yeah that yeah that's what you like I mean cause Gunilla von Post I mean to you know you see I'm not into that yeah but to me cause that that that's a fucking Puerto Rican girl with a chip tooth that's what I want yeah that's what I'm seeing now this is the one supposedly that he loved this was his top I get it yeah yeah because you're into it He actually was thinking about leaving Jackie for her. And his dad was like, are you crazy?

That's not good for your political career. And do you know what kind of illegal stuff I had to do to get you elected? Yeah, yeah. Because they stole the election. They did, right? His dad was, yeah. Catholics don't usually win. No, they don't usually win.

And in order to win at that time, unfortunately, you had to do, you had to get in bed with the mob and make some things happen. Because Trumpy's not a Catholic either, right? They're not, they're Christians, but they're not. No, he's a wasp. Is Rubio Catholic? Rubio's a Catholic. Got my vote. Yeah.

So let's go back to some of these other chicks because she was a piece. Yeah, she's a piece. Yeah. Mimi Alfred 19. And here's the thing about her too. She wrote a book also because all these chicks, of course, read books. But remember, they were victims. Right.

They all write books. Right. And she's unapologetic about it. She says, she's like, nobody's going to take. I spent a week with him. Nobody's taking that week for me. It was magical. Who's saying this?

Can I Levon Post? Yeah. She's like, they all. say he was magnetic and they just he was just incredible let's take a peek at joan lundberg this is the white house secretary because sometimes too someone don't even have to be hot you just bang out the bosses just bang out their secretary yeah there's just something it's just a porn fantasy even before porn wasn't yeah yeah yeah yeah she could catch it she catch it old school yeah yeah i mean it's what it is yeah it's what it is she's none of them are none of them are ugly no i didn't like i said

beautiful. Like I said, there was no, what was the Paula Jones's? There was no Paula Jones. What was the one that, Paula Jones? What was the one Bill Clinton did? Lewinsky? Yeah, there was another one, Paula Jones. You remember? You remember Bill Clinton? He had another one. He had a few. He had a few charges. He had a few. He had a few charges. He had, let's look at his list. He had a few. I think her name was Paula Jones. Jennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, baby. Paula Jones. Let's take a peek at Paula Jones. She was just a chick from Arkansas.

That's what it was. Yeah. Yeah, it's a little different. Yeah, it's a little different. Yeah. It's just a little different. Look at that. It's just a little different. Yeah.

Billy Clinton just shopped a little different. It's just, yeah. Yeah. I mean, Bill Clinton went to Bloomingdale's to get his clothes. And Bill Clinton, he just, he liked to go to T.J. Max. Yeah, yeah. He liked the discount. He was Bloomingdale's. Yeah, Bill Clinton would go.

Sometimes he just stepped into Costco and get a shirt off the rack. The kid just liked to go to Target and see what he could get. I mean, well, the kid's from Arkansas, so don't forget, he likes a backwoods hillbilly. He likes somebody who's a little banged up. He said he looked at this woman. He said, she looks like she has dirty feet. I want to bang it. Yeah, look at this chick.

Yeah. This kid risked his whole political reputation. Yeah. He bang out Paula Jones. Yeah. I mean, he couldn't keep his hands. hands off. And Paula Jones sounds hot. Yeah. And then you take a peek and it's a little different. Just a little different. The story's a little different than what we're talking about.

A little different. But again, banged out, probably fun. And it's what is, I mean, these guys, they live. I mean, if we're going to go head to head, I don't even think it's a question. JFK wins. JFK is definitely the winner. I mean, then you also got, he banged a few other ones. But let's get back to the, I mean, he didn't even get close. Yeah, I mean, garage guys just ringing my belt. Don't worry. Yeah, I mean, because you know what happened is my garage door doesn't have tracks on it. We remove the track, so you can't get, you can't open the door.

Yeah. And then a family member tried to open it yesterday. And now I have my house, it's just got a big, the garage doors open. Right. And we can't close it. Right, right. So I had to call in a real guy because I couldn't lift it. Right.

So now I got a freaking garage guy coming over that's just, you know, some just Russian guy that's going to just, I'm just going to get banged out. Yeah. I'm going to get banged out. Yeah. Your costs are going up. Jane Mansfield, supposedly. He got Judith Anderson. Blaze Star, who was a burlesque dancer.

She was a piece. She sounds hot. He got Inga Arvod, a Danish journalist. I mean, every single woman sounds hot. Yeah. There's not one that doesn't. These are credible, which means it happened. And these are probable anonymous.

Multiple White House interns, the guy's just cleaned house. Yeah, it's just what it is. If you worked in the White House, you were getting stuck. Hollywood actresses shielded by NDAs are silent. Yeah, we got a lot of that. Weizongxi ain't. Put it on the Patreon. Yeah, we got to clip that out.

Who cares? I mean, I never signed it. Yeah. And... What it is. Yeah, put it on the patron. Historians, like, estimate that it was possibly over a hondo. But only a whole.

But over a hondo for a man's life, that's not blown up. It's not a man's life. It's just in the presidency. We're talking about during the presidency. We're talking about just during the presidency. So the thing about his affairs, which make them wild, is they were like created national security risks, intersected with organized crime, reflected a culture of elite immunity, and helped explain Jackie Kennedy's emotional detachment. Here's the thing. I think this is what they say in the program

I've heard is a sex addiction is when it gets it threatens your life right like when it threatens your lifestyle your job right you know that's very risky your true addict

yeah when you're the president and you're hiring call girls to come over to the White House yeah yeah that's what you call risky behavior when you're risking kid that wanted to tingle because let me ask you a question right now let me ask you a question right now

who's the easier honeypot JFK or RFK that's a good that's a good question That's who we really should have done is who's it easier to get honeypot? Which Kennedy, because RFK will get honey potted big. Yeah, I think the easiest honeypot is going to be JFK. Yeah, because if you look at this behavior, I mean, it's risky. Bill Clinton, too, he's banging Paula Jones.

It's a little risky. But also, I think if Bill Clinton lived in JFK's era, he would have done more. And let me just say something to be crystal clear. And I think we all know this, but it just needs to be said here on this podcast. is that obviously the Kennedy family, you know, an American dynasty, but we know that the one thing they do is they all, the men love puss, and we understand why. So there is absolutely positively no way that RFK, Robert F. Kennedy right now,

there is no way that his voice sounds like that from a neuropathic condition. It's from eating puss. Okay? So I just want the lies to stop. He's eating pussy and ass, and then your voice will sound like that. And I'm not blaming the guy, but I'm saying it's enough with the lie. eyes, the local cord injury. You're eating pus.

You're eating push and you're eating ass and that's okay. Yeah. But I just, I want the American people that need to stop being lied to me. Yeah, yeah. That kid can't, he can't lay off. He's eating puss looking ass. Yeah, he cannot lay off. I mean, and that's what happens.

Your voice sounds like that. Yeah. So when you got, when you put these head to head, right, they're both compulsive womanizers. You both see elements, the psychological breakdown is what I asked for. Right. You see elements of thrill-seeking, poor operational security. and they mix sex with power and stress relief. Right.

So they both had affairs with people who were clear intelligence risks. Right. Judith Exner is the big one from JFK. Right. Who was connected Sam Giacana and had CIA FBI overlap. And ChatGBT gives the edge to JFK. as a counterintelligence nightmare. If a foreign service wanted leverage,

the door, this is what Chad should be said. If a foreign service wanted leverage, the door was wide open. Oh, yeah. So, I mean, I think that's kind of true. I think it's kind of, I think you got to give it. Like, Clinton was obviously a little reckless, but I think JFK, the kid just couldn't handle it.

Yeah. I just, he saw puss and I think he just saw red. Yeah, I mean, Because I really believe that he ultimately died because of Puss. Yeah. Not because of anything else. You think so? I think Puss is just, I think that's just what happens.

Yeah. Eventually Puss kills you. I think it was, I believe an element of that. But what I think is it's the Puss and all that he did with the Puss. Compromise. All the engagement that he did with the Puss is indicative of more a thrill-seeky, thrill-seeker personality because supposedly, and I think that's what got him killed, was he was just one of those guys that just kind of loved the tingle.

Shal-K-Love the tingle. Because even when he went in the motorcade, right, it's like, I think he was warned, like, dude, you shouldn't do that. Like, it's a little bit too much access. Things are a little hot, but he was like, no, I want to do it. Yeah. I think he was a kid who loved the tingle. And it got clipped.

Yeah, he got clipped. So I think the women and that All together, I mean, he was a kid that just was not scared To walk on a ledge It's just what it is He loved, you know, kid love Puss And, you know, ultimately he paid the price for it But he was a great U.S. President

He was a great U.S. president And, you know, and, uh, The Bay of Pigs invasion Was what he's known for And that's just also what he would do On a nightly basis. He would just invade the Bay of Pigs Yeah.

And I could just say honestly, I mean, I'm just going to be honest, I'm not going to lie to the fans Be honest. I'm not going to lie to people. No. I don't hate him for this. Me either.

I just don't hate him for it. I don't. I don't hold it against them. Yeah, there's one of those things where it's like, yeah, I just don't hate them and I just, yeah, I think as the world goes on, you know, the modern world we're living in, and it could be being fed by the algorithms and all that stuff. I just don't. I just understand why ICE had to go into Minneapolis. In conclusion, if you wanted to know who may be the biggest playboy of all time. JFK is at least in the conversation for first ballot hall of fame. 1,000 percent.

Absolutely. 100 percent. He's the Jenghis Khan of modern day. I mean, because he is. He's got to have had more kids out there, too, because there was no Jimmy Hats back then. One of them got an abortion. I mean, one of them got an abortion. That was...

There have to be one of them had to have his kid. Yeah, but that's the thing is back then they would just kill you. Right. Right. If you were going to threaten, like, his presidency or like some sort of scandal, they just make you go away. You just get clip. I mean, because I can't be honest, you know, Trump, you'll do that too. Yeah, I mean, it just happens.

Yeah, just, you know? Yeah. Well, as always, at the end, we go to patreon.com slash history hyenas. That's where all the fun happens. That's where all the episodes continue. You get them unedited, ad free over there, plus extra bonus content. It's being part of our community. And when you join, you get your name right out at the end of the episode.

And we pick the funniest name to the PPW pseudopinus of the week. Okay, so here we go, leading off 1864 World Series MVP, Dodgers's first baseman, Sequan Slaveman Way Song Xien Into one? Yeah Let me just say this Because I think it's funny too

There's no way he remembered All those names So that we had to do a list To remember their names I think is sort of an homage To know how JFK would remember those There's no way he remembered the name No chance

No way Yeah He was one of those guys Where the numbers were so high I don't think he remembered Encounters Yeah I don't even think he knew He remembered if he banged one

Yeah He probably looked at one and went Yeah He probably tried to bang one He already banged Yeah yeah Yeah, yeah. My landscaper son has allergies, so he called ice on him.

Okay. Bobby Brooks. Merry Christmas, you fucking wreath tarts. Lad of 14. So we're a little behind. It's a little behind. Okay. Yeah.

Muzzies can't eat better. Ladder 14. These are all walked in at once. Make sure you beat the right bike thief. This is all walked in. It's crazy. Ernie C plus Chrissy D plus Yanni P equals the best human sense. Entipede. Okay. Okay. So you say we go ass to mouth?

All right. Good. Yeah. Edward Livingston, Anthony Shamel, Dennis G., Tyler Kennedy, Bubba, sarah-flavored baby oil. That's a goody. Not bad. What I'm going to do with that is I'm going to chicken finger that. And I also want to take a moment to just honor and shot out our walked-in ones. I mean, I'm sorry, not our walked-in ones are straight to the backs. We never say straight to the back. Look, you don't have to have a name. You can join, just give your name. Go straight to the back.

You're here for the content. Tyler Katie, Edward Livingston, he's straight to the back, just the real name. Then we got my wife, divorced me and drained my 401k after she found out I used the bathroom sink as a urinal. Put them on the list. Put them on the list because we can relate. Yeah.

She just had enough. Yeah. It's not gay. If it feels good. Chicken finger. I mean, it's a statement that's accurate. It's an accurate statement. It's a chicken figure.

White dyslexic squeak that hates gingers. Okay. Sorry, Andrew Santino. Yeah. Well, he's saying because he's dyslexic and he said ginger, so it, you know, so it's another word. Latter 14. Wow. Wow. Yeah. But wait a second. So he said white, deplexic squeak. Okay. So I don't approve of the content, but I don't know what it is about being evil that makes people so creative. Yeah. But we have to honor that. Okay. Because the creativity there is a 10 out of 10. It got right back. Wow. Wow. Wow. But we can't listen. All I can say right now is you are a contender for the end of the year Walked into One Award.

Okay, yeah. Holy shit. That's a walked into one, Sabrina. Holy shit. That's a good one. Throwing. Okay. Yeah.

What is up with this list? That's two on the nose. Yeah, that's just two on the nose. And that's not okay. No, none of this is okay. Gert, Brink, Jameson, Bundy, Paul, Chrissy D's Realtor, and I want my money? Fair enough. Get in line.

Sir, a second lazy eye has hit Janice's face. I don't have a lazy eye, sir. But let me just say, there is a long line of people who want your money. It's what it is. And if I owe you money, get in line. Using my frisbee to parachute out the North Tower. Okay? Is that a 9-11 joke?

Yeah, but it's kind of funny. Yeah. I mean, think about it. Did one of them try? Did one of them just hold it up and tried? Live 14. He had a better shot of the guy without a frisbee. That's true?

Yeah, Drexler. All right. I fixed the exhaust fans in the frisbee chamber. Okay, this is not okay. Not okay. Because this list must, is this list after our walked-in-one award? Yeah, this is after, this is around Christmas time. Holy shit.

This is bad. This is bad. Mom Donnie, Lord of the Dings. I think they did this to us because they were mad at us for having a few off. Mom, Donnie, Lord of the Dings. You like that? No, it's a word. walked in a one.

Yeah, all right. Not bad, though. It's not bad. I shop at Bill... Are you asking me if I agree or disagree with it? Yeah. Well, that's a different question. I shop at Bill Burlington's Ginger Cunt Factory.

I'm going to say put it on the left. All right. Ferdor backshots. Dean Chilerson. Lump some have come and your mum. I like the rhyme. Chicken finger. Victim of a bad night in

Paris. Okay. Dominique Boucher Panchito. Ridgewood, aka where the wild dings are. Okay. Okay. Monica Bluinsky, 42. Wow. There we go. Yeah. Look at that. Tap. Listen to all the freebies. So here's your schmeckles, you frisbee, fucks. Drexler for that. So the kid just had to join the Patreon. That's what happens, folks. The kid was like, I need more and he came.

I lost my frisbee at a German summit camp It is fat it ish Funny, funny walked into one All I want is to be cracked open And cleaned out for Christmas Okay, there you go And she looks like a piece Yeah Noah

Eddie Polowski Squeak Peace too short Eddie Polowski Eddie Polowski I guess she's a Polish kid Okay because Polowski's a good Yeah Chris Orsoco

Squeak piece too short To tuck between my cheeks Okay Kaylee Santoro John Ferguson my tiny pean only works well in the Philippines Put them on the list Okay there you go

You know you know it's like kind of Right It's all relative right Right Yeah if you're 5'9 kid Right And you go to Mexico Your piece got bigger

You're a tall kid Yeah I swallow come at night Okay Sergeant Glugon Thompson A.K. Leroy Frizzby the Reich LeRoy Drexler Straight to the Back to eat chicken fingers

Just creative Very creative It's just Very creative Yeah Just very creative Very nice

Jack Castro Ian Duffy Dunn Krugue Casey Galligan Chris has got a cauliflower ass What about a list Yeah

Yeah Very funny You don't have Collive out You're because you got cauliflower ass Yeah That's a contender

Yeah That's a That's nice I like it in the Yeah Yeah Yeah it's a contender Beer

Dylan Taylor Kevin Duv Michael Vix Doggy Daycare LLC A little bit of a throwback. It's a good one, though. Walked in, and ones galore.

De Nue, Sierra, Messina, Gis-Elaine-Maxwell sorority-rush party, a little St. James. Michael Horton, Dallas Kreidel. Steve Zimmerman, not related to George. John Cruz. Honey, hi, hi, the kids. The dog ate my blue chew.

I'm not Lynn this time. I'm not lying this time. Mm-hmm. Big, bad read, sorry. Wesley Parish, Kristen, Ben Burrow. Justin Boland, Jared Lyon, my mom, Donnie, bath towel is shaving my armpits. Schlit-su car insurance company.

Screwed in. Yeah, there you go. Arby's roast beef that fell on a barbershop floor. George Glass-Up, Poulis. Did we miss something there? Arby's roast beef that fell on a barbershop floor. It's a pussy. Yeah.

Okay. But what does that mean fell on a barbershop floor? I don't know. Hair on it. Got it. It's a puss that has hair. Got it. Okay. Got it. Creative. Creative. George Glasopoulos. Don't make me laugh. I'll come.

Okay. Bulacu Lorenzo. A.J. Holly. Number one, Diddy supporter, Marlon Waychon Sheehan. All I want for Hanukkah is the West Bank. Ladder 14. I'm going to list it. All right. Yeah. I mean, I'm going to just some funny. Factor. J.P. Rabino, Timmy, Kristen Parker, Keefe Smelington, Neo Ramos, Edward Orsoco,

Kate Humelick, and then we got Sidney Sweeney, please, chimney, sweep my frisbee, meet like Azidi. Almost. Almost. Should we go a couple of more, or what do you think? I think we need a few more. The list is a little week, so we're going to do a few more. Yeah. But, okay, but here's the thing about the list being weak so far is, again, you never know, like, it's like getting in the playoffs, What seat are you?

Somebody might win today that wouldn't have won on another. But it's just you've got to get a win to get to the finals. That's right. Like they say in life, you need a little skill, you need a little luck. Yeah, it's what it is. Donnie T. Zamboni Ice Ding removal service. Hey? Jesus Christ.

It's a Drexler. It's not that bad, so it's a Drexler. Victor Canales, Sean Chipsis Squeak, Dean Charlton, Big Gay Jokerson. Instead of Big J. Okerson. Yep. Chicken finger for sure. Reading Moby Vagina on opposite day? Instead of Moby Dick. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. I don't... Nick's got a face like he... Jesus, right. Oh, shit, shit, shit. Fuck. Because he wrote I-O-N... Fuck, that was...

I mean, that was in it. He shot it, and because you weren't even in the goal. Yeah. You weren't even in the goal for that one. I don't know what I was doing. Yeah, because you were out on the ice. That's a crazy one, right? Ladd 14.

Straight up, I don't know how that one got by you. Yeah, I mean, because when you read it. Because sometimes it was so blatant, I think it just fooled you. Well, because they wrote Iona. I-O-N-A. Oh, that's how they-I-O-N-A. Yeah. Could be his name.

That's how he slipped it by you. It's what it is. Nick's got a face like he plays. Can you guys get this creative about the other ones? Yeah. Why are the most creative ones, ones we can't use? Because it's just, it's fun for them. It's like 158.

Nick's got a face like he plays for the Brooklyn. Ice Dodgers. Put them on the last 14. Contender. SC. Then we got, since my genius is going on notice, Leroy,

Leroy, Leroy, glue gun, fun in my honey, but Mom Dani's cut off. Sorry. Yeah. Eric Tiles dysfunction

when he sees Lady Leroy, ding to my colored Volkswagen from the hall, hit Leroy. Had some bad Chinese food, call me something Wong. P. way song she ain't

contender okay yeah uh chris wiggles his tushy in the towel dry de Stefano secret agent monkey

okay welcome to the fucking Brian Bridges Ed Blinder Ryan Millard Erica P loves Chrissy D Brandon Graves Chris Kevin Beck Elf on the shelf aka the Christmas cock

Ben Nikki Nikki Um, recount the votes Kamala is my master in Dingo Bills. Okay. Nate Anderson, Elizabeth Triolo. I signed up, but I still put my towel into my armpits. Married in a Rapa monkey and her fumes are fabuloso. Put them on the list.

There it is. Very creative. Very creative. Very creative. Dan, Derek Callahan, Peter Mintern, Hannah Ovri, shop use golf clubs at BKBigolf.com. Oh, yeah, BKBGolf.com, screwed in. Screwed in. Mad Dog.

Interesting. Okay. And Frank's Diary, A.K. Horton, here's a Jew. Waysoncheon. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. It's a guilt laugh. Yeah, okay.

Oh, that one got me good. Curious to know if Diddy has any leftover gloat. from the Leroy Gigolo asking for a friend. And then last but not least, the dead hooker buried under the dome at Soljolz. Put them on the list. Okay, yeah, so there you go. All right, so it turned out to be,

we made a good executive decision by reading that last page. Okay. All right, so here we go. Are we ready? Yeah, the Anne Franklin got me good. Okay. All right, so here we go.

My wife divorced me and drained my 401K after she found out. I use the bathroom sink as a urinal. We're going to Drexler that. Okay. Any other day. I shop at Bill Burlington's Ginger Con Factory. Keep it around.

All I want for Hanukkah is the West Bank. We're going to chicken finger it. All right. Very funny, though. Chris has got a cauliflower ass. Keeping it around. Okay. My tiny peen only works in the Philippines.

We're going to Drexler it. All right. Nick's got a face like he plays for the Brooklyn Ice Dodgers We're keeping that one around What it is Had some bad Chinese food To call me some Ting Wong We're gonna keep it around

Actually a pretty strong list Married in a Repa Monkey and her fumes are fabuloso We gotta keep it around Sure Barred in Venezuela And then we got the dead hooker buried under the dome at Soljoules It's inside but I love it What do you want to do with it?

Is there really a dead hooker there? No but it's just funny I mean at the dome and you know I don't think it's going to win though Yeah I think you know the thing about Soljol is Is he's kind of like Lenny from a vice and men Sure

So I think he there's a chance he could get a hooker And he gets so like probably a 60 year old one Sure And he got too excited and he squeezed her It's what it is And he might have just buried her under it Maybe that's why he's doing the outdoor shows Yeah then it flipped down

It's to cover up the dead hooker It's possible It's very possibly put the stage here So it's like you can't dig there You know I put this dome there It's 100% and there's absolutely no shot when we go to his wedding

that he's not going to give us food on paper plates. It's going to happen. But do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. I could see him getting a little too excited and squeezing the rabbit too hard. Yeah, yeah, it's just what it is.

But what do we want to do? Do we want to... It's inside. It's inside. It's inside. It's a soul Joe. Shut out of Drexler. All right.

Yeah. All right. So here we go. Here are the contenders. I shop at Bill Burlington's Ginger Con Factory. Married in a Repo Monkey and her fumes are fabuloso.

Nick's got a face like he plays for the Brooklyn Ice Dodger. Contender. Had some bad Chinese food, call me some Ting Wong. That's a contender. Chris has got a cauliflower ass. We're gonna, we're gonna chicken finger that. Collierflower ass is out.

It's a good one, though. Okay, so you're out. You do got a lot of, like, warts and shit. I have skin tags on my eyes and asterisk. Okay. All right, I'm gonna need help with this one, boys. Okay, so Nick's got a face like he plays for the Brooklyn Ice Dodgers. You want to keep that?

That's got to stay. Had some bad Chinese food call me some ting Wong. The only reason why... It's good. It's good, but the only reason why is I think it possibly could be unoriginal. It possibly could be something like, right? Like you've heard it before, so then it's out. We got a Drexler.

Yeah. Married in a Repa Monkey and her fumes are fabuloso. That's got to stick around. Very smart. That's got to stick you on. And then I shop at Bill Burlington's Ginger Cunt Factory. It's funny, but it's not going to win. It's not going to win because it's inside.

He's talking about Bill. Yeah. Okay. So, it's really between. Married in Are Repo Monkey and her fumes are fabuloso, or Nick's got a face like he plays for the Brooklyn Ice Dodgers, which is inside, which is making something old, new. Yes. Because your father said I had a face like I played for the Brooklyn Dodgers. Right.

And now this person is saying that Nick looks like he plays for the Ice Dodgers. So this is why I'm leaning towards that, and it's for that reason. We had some sort of Ice Dodgers before, too. Yeah. Remember? But this one is doing Nick's face. Right. And plays for the Ice Dodgers, and he's calling back.

Which means he's a long-time fan because he knows that my father told you that. So in my opinion, shout out to the Fabuloso because that's really smart, but I'm going to go with the long-term fan on that one. Jesse, do you agree? Yes, 100%.

Yeah. Nick hasn't had one yet. I think he should disagree. Yeah. Now, Nick, do you agree? I agree. And both of them are celebrating Latino heritage. There you go.

You can't go wrong. And Nick's... Jesse got one right. I think Jesse's got Jesse's Mossad handler. Yeah. Yeah, that was the one that won. Yeah. So congratulations. You are the PPW.

You will see your name up in lights at History. Hyenas is back.com. Nick's got a face like he plays for the Brooklyn Ice Dodgers. Patreon.com slash history hyenas. We are here every single week for you. Episode going to continue right now over at the Patreon.