History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - Joe DeRosa Has Bad Jeans | History Hyenas

Episode Date: August 14, 2025

Joe DeRosa comes through to chop it up about his new special, Marc Maron lately, and the Sydney Sweeney jeans controversy. Support our sponsors: Life insurance is never cheaper than it is today. Get the right life insurance for YOU, for LESS, and save more than fifty percent at https://selectquote.com/hyenas Go to https://GetSoul.com and use the code HISTORYHYENAS. Earn points on rent and around your neighborhood, wherever you call home, by going to https://joinbilt.com/HISTORYHYENAS #comedy #Podcast #History Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas/ Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit.ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0 Hyenas Merch!!! https://teespring.com/stores/historyhyenas Follow us Cuz! 🙆🏻‍♂️ Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ 🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ 🐕More Hyenas Website: www.historyhyenasisback.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/historyhyenas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HistoryHyenas Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/historyhyenaspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Guys, we got a banging episode with Joe DeRosa, the Trans Whisperer. He came in here. His shoulders were smaller than I've ever seen them, but he was on fire having a good time. And then we ate his sandwiches after the show. And I said they were good and Yannis said they were bad. And one of us lied and it was me. We also got a banger on our at our community page on Patreon. It's patreon.com slash history hyenas.

We talk about the kid who's got a leaky roof. We're doing a leaky roof once a month on Patreon, and this one is a kid named Billy Milligan. Go see every, on Patreon, this Billy Milligan episode will blow your mind. So go there now. Enjoy Joe DeRosa. Come see me in September 5th at the Chicago Theater, September 11th, September 11th, Theater at Madison Square Garden, Christy Comedy.com. Yeah, see me in Tampa this weekend, then Poughkeepsie, the following weekend, and then Potsdown,

PA, August 30th, then Miami, September 11, 12, 13th. and then Bakersfield, California in October, Toronto, October 11th, and Tulsa, Bozeman, Montana, Stanford, West Nyack, New York, go to Januspapuscom or historyhyenaspod.com for all our dates. Tell your friends, buckle up, get ready, because here we are, sit with Joey D. What's up, everybody, welcome to another episode of history, hienas. I'm Chrissy Dee with me, as always Yanni P.

And now we have a pig in the pen. Joe DeRosa with this new special I never promised you a Rose Garden crushing it on YouTube one of the best specials we've seen and that takes a lot for me to say it because obviously we've always known

Joe's comedy is amazing but 90% of this special is zoomed in very close to his pig face and even I'm saying I loved it and I couldn't stop watching Yeah well I'm not from this industry

Yeah Everybody's saying that all right Why is it zoomed in It's called a close We're fucking idiots It's own purpose Yeah But I liked it

The intimacy of it all It made me feel like I'm a trans woman You always like to do some artsy Like even I remember your last artist You were standing on some little fucking thing Like a little tiny thing You were in a suit

Those were his legs Yeah Those were his tiny little legs And tried to do like a Frank Sinatra Kind of rat pack kind of look No no that was That's funny man That was based on Night Gallery

The old Rod Serling show See, that's obscure. I don't know what that is. If you pull up a clip, just type in Rod Serling Night Gallery. You'll see what I mean. So Night Gallery, this is a cool show. So Rod Serling is the, okay, go to the gallery. See, no, no, right down, right down to the, yep, that one.

See that? Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's what you did. So Night Gallery was Rod Serling's show after the Twilight Zone, and it was an anthology show every week it was different stories. but it was more horror based and the night gallery was the framing of the show

so he'd be like welcome to the night gallery and he'd walk around there were all these morbid paintings and the painting would launch the story the painting would have an image that represented the story

so I was like God, you're such a fruit I could see you wait to say I'm like why don't you just watching the Phillies you fruit? Why are you watching Nightgatley you should be watching Mike Schmidt you hold on

you like to do things You like to do things you like He does Yeah Your next one's gonna be like In an Atari console That's it's two I'm doing

All my tour posters Are Atari box art But it's The video game thing Has been so done Even that I'm like One thing I'll say about Joe I've known Joe

A long time You hit it on the head More than it The most of my friends He does exactly What he wants to do He does what he does Yeah

Yeah that's why I'm nowhere Oh you're doing great That's why he took the bus here To do our podcast I almost walk. I tried to walk. It was too hot. No, this is how I know Joe's doing good.

It's very simple. It's an observation that I've had about society. The people who are doing well and have more money, the more money you have, the less socks you wear. Joe has no socks on right now. I'm wearing no shows big. Oh, those are no shows? Those are no shows. Which means, yeah.

Halfway there. Your theory is good, but that's because he doesn't have any money because he's in mortgage. debt. Yeah, he owns too many homes. Yeah, how many homes do you own? You fucking what would you call that? What? A real estate pig. Oh, real estate pig. A mogul? A mogul. You're like a mogul, but you're not a mogul.

No, I'm not a mogul. Yeah. I have two homes. You're like the reason for the 2008 crisis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm bringing it back. Yeah, bring it back. Chase Bank's like, who'd you give us a mortgage to the guy with those Rose Garden's special? I thought you got him from nightgown. The guy was. He was home. He can't pay it

Look at him Look at his tour He fucking makes sandwich Look at his man In Zanilio Why'd you give that guy money? Yeah Didn't you buy a house

Like in Pennsylvania And then now you're Nogne Yeah You wanted to use that As your workout spot Yeah I got a

Yeah I have a place in PA Near where I grew up And then I've got a place In Austin See because when you bought that house I thought that That meant you were giving up

And quitting Because you were going No, no, he's done more now. Yeah, and then I turn around and you're doing more. I'm like, I thought you were quitting. Whoever moves to Westchester, PA and buys that, it's over. Well, no, the pig and I talk about this a lot. Yeah.

Chris and I talk about this a lot over the years. Look, I just think like there's, look, with the algorithm thing, the thing we're all suffering and whatever with now, it always upset me with comics. You and I have talked about this, too. It's like, we had a chance. Everybody had a chance, I guess. but particularly comics because these networks that we catered to all collapsed. There was this world we lived in where it was like unless the person, unless this one person at True TV says, yes, you don't get a TV show, unless this one person at Comedy Central?

How many times did you go into those places and pitch? And seven people were like, we love it. We're doing this. And then, sorry. Yeah. The guy you never see that lives behind that door said no. and when those all kind of collapsed and there was that great like sort of

you know it wasn't an exodus everybody got fired I feel like we had a chance to strike and then unfortunately everybody immediately started going well now it's the algorithm and then we're treating the algorithm like it's the guy behind the fucking door right so it's very hard is my point to not feel like the need to constantly

deliver deliver deliver but I don't know man I feel like if any any opportunity you have to create a little bit of absence and a little bit of distance is not a bad thing. You mean to like go away a little bit type thing for the fans? I mean look dude, I'm out promoting this special and I was talking to Ari and a few other comics that I feel like have a really good understanding of like here's how you promote something as a comic and people were saying to me you got to be careful though. Do this, this is you got to be careful. You

don't want to do internet fatigue. That's a fucking thing now. Yeah. Now the reverse, or the inverse of the algorithm. Less is more now. So it's just like, dude, what are you going to do at the end of the day? And even if you feed the algorithm, there is no guarantee it'll work. It's like saying, well, my special is going to be a hit because it's on Netflix. You don't know that. It could fucking get buried.

There's no guarantee. So fuck it, man. Do things the way you feel comfortable and put your all into it and hope for the best. And, you know, I don't know. I don't fucking know. Well, that's what I'm saying. Your special is being talked about. Everyone's like, I love Joe special.

It's good because it's. just like, you know, and that, and I've got a good buzz with comics. With comics, yeah. Which is, which is, which is a relief socially. Yes, it is. That's always a relief. Yeah, when all the comics, like it was good. And if you look at all the comments, if you go to Joe's YouTube page, it's on your YouTube, right?

Main landing page. At Yoder Rosa Comic. Yeah. You're, all the comments are like, this was great. I mean, dude, the amount, what you realize when you go to our YouTube comments, too, is like, how many people are like, I was literally going to end my life until, like, I found your comedy, you're like, Jesus Christ. You should have ended your life during this special.

Yeah, you're like, I thought I'm trying to, I might end my life. Yeah. And you're helping save people. Here's the thing. If I clicked on this profile and I did know, Joe, go back up a little bit more. I would not think this was a comedy page. No. I would think I was about to get some fucking lecture about gender theory or about inequality.

Look at that face. Now something I'm going to have to watch about why Hamas is. is actually good. Did you pick the most stern-looking photo to put it up there? It does look good. That's a picture from a book, my friend's book. You can't even read. No, I don't know.

I just like that picture. It does look good. It actually does look good and it fits that frame nice. Yeah. I can't believe I'm... You know what I love about Joe is we can text each other when we do something that makes the other one sick? Right.

And if I do something, he'll leave me a long message telling me how I'm just a disgrace of a human. Yeah. Recently, I went on one of his stories. Yeah. And I almost threw my phone through the fucking window. Yeah. Really? Right.

Yeah, because you said you were working on that new new. Yeah. Yeah. I got mad. Yeah. Yeah. He goes, I'm working on that new new, y'all. I was joking.

I know, but it's just, I wanted to say, Joe, you're a fucking pig. You're not a rapper. Yeah. You did. You did. You did send me. Yeah, I did. And then it was from the hyenas of.

Carol, and I said, which of the fucking morons am I speaking to you right now? We are two fucking retops. We are two morons. I mean, there's no bigger moron at this. Look at him. You had plastic surgery, I think. No, I did it. That's the second. You got him in that face.

What are you talking about? He is someone who's going to get it, though, right? I'm not. You're going to hold on. He just told us he got hair transplanted. And he got surgery on his eyes. I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. said from an old scar i never thought about that though are you going to hold on yeah i will you're gonna i'm a big big big big big believer in no unnecessary surgery you're a lot dude daddy camel is gonna call you into his office and say you better get that fucking face fix yeah do you want you

want to hold a late night television yeah exactly you want to do that you need to lift those cheeks up yeah yeah you want your own show in this dying fucking industry is that what you want yeah yeah you want to be able to pay your mortgage and get through this shit yeah then you're to get that. I know just the guy's going to do it. You're going to tell me to talk too, fatty. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't wait. Daddy Kimmel's going to put you on a diet. Oh, yeah. So here's what you're allowed to eat. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. It's happening. That's going to be great. Whatever. The fucking, um, I didn't want to call the channel Joder Rosa comedy. I just wanted to call Jota Rosa, but my Instagram was already that. So they were like, make it uniform. But I, I actually didn't want to call it, Joe, because I did want to put shit on there. The official Joe DeRosa comedy, because there's a lot of imitators out there. You never know. You never know.

You never know. You want people to know it's the official Joe de Rosa. What are you going to do? So, you know, if you go to one or the other, there's so many people out there claiming to be Joe de Rosso. You want to know what? The official. No, right. You can break his balls, but I can't fucking.

You got to balance out the nice things with the, with the, with the great special, but the official, it's a little much. The only thing. It's a, what are you fucking? What are you a Kennedy? The official Joe Rogan? Jarosa. There's so many Joe's. I know, there's too many Joe.

There's too many fucking Joe. The only thing that genuinely upset me that Joe did that when he picked up and left New York, he doesn't have a New York residency. And for guys like us who are native New York, it's just we don't understand why people do this. I just talked about this on joke world. Now you call me a hack. No, no.

He said, why do New York and LA guys get so mad about you moving down, people moving down to Austin? We talked about exactly. Right. Yeah. Well, I get, I just don't, I guess because I'm from New York, I know you weren't born and raised in New York, I couldn't imagine not at least having like something here. But you don't have anything here.

What do you mean? I'm here every day. But yeah, but you don't live here. I live within 45 minutes. I could see the, I could see the skyline. I'm talking about it. What? He lives in New York.

He lives in the state of New York. Right. But I'm saying. I mean, he lives, he could, he's still like. I'm in the New York area. Yeah. I'm still like in the, you know, I'm in. You know, I'm in the New York.

Yeah, but, but the, I couldn't leave my state lines. I won't, I won't, I won't talk about your money. I mean, that's serious. I'm being respectful. Yeah. I won't talk about your money, but I will say this. You were financially in a position to create the exact life you wanted for New York. I was not in a position to do what you just did.

And I also don't have a family. So moving to an area like you moved to alone here. It would have not been good. That's why I got the place in PA. Because PA's near Philly. It's where I'm from, whatever. If I'm there by myself to get like the fucking headspace I need, whatever. My plan originally was I was going to keep my apartment here.

I was going to live in PA and I was going to go back and forth. But then I started going down to Austin. I was like, you know, I don't know, man. This just feels more right to me right now. I didn't feel there was anything left I could do in New York. Everyone's sober here. Right. Nobody's doing Coke anymore.

Our manager is. He's like, I need greener pastures. He goes back to us. Everyone's here's fucking living on the edge. No, nobody's doing it in Austin either. Everybody's fucking taking. Everybody's taking T. I know, right?

Everybody's taking doctor-administrative. Everybody, every white guy there's beat red now. Yeah. But no, I just... I get it. Austin, to me, felt like there was an opportunity to go into a new scene, to fill in an area in that scene where there weren't a ton of guys like me. You know what I mean?

Right. At the stage I was at And just kind of do something new, man And it works It's a bitch getting between there and PA It's obviously way harder than going between New York and PA But you're an apartment guy

Let's be honest His apartment in Austin's beautiful Yeah you can have it You're an apartment guy because If you have a house and you're a single guy Right like what are you doing in the house You weigh The only reason you should have a house like that

Is if you're retreating to go read a novel Well my house Yeah my house in PA is is one side of a twin but it's beautiful but it was built in 1915 it's all renovated it's dope it's a pad

yeah it's a pad nice yeah if I knew anybody out there I'd bring them bring them so you didn't like it out there no I like it out there yeah I still get the place yeah so you most of your times in Austin though now well most of my times in Austin because the scene has been so good to me down there and and everybody's been so well I mean it feels like family

so I'm down there I can do as many shows as I want if I need to work on stuff I can chill if I want It's a great city. You know, I had a girlfriend down there for on and off nine months. Oh, yeah, I saw your message. It was a life down there, you know? Right. What was the message?

Is it off air or on air? You're doing a bid? No, no, no, I had a boyfriend. Yeah, but you messaged me. You left a voice message saying you were doing a bid. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. That was a callback to what we used to do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was what we used to do. You're good? You're good? You're good. I know, I know, two 24 days. You got to get the crime. Did the crime due to fucking time.

But explain what it is to the audience. But what it is is when you have unprotected sex with a girl and then you have to wait basically two to 24 days for your, for STD symptoms to pop up or pregnancy. Yeah. Every pamphlet at the free clinic used to say two to 22 days. Yes. That's what it is. You're doing a two to 24 day bid.

Anytime Yannister, I slipped up, we'd hit each other. Yeah. Yeah, dude. You do it a bit? Yeah. Do it a bit? We're now, we're now. That's my favorite thing.

And then the one day we were talking and you go, you go, you do it a bid? I go, I don't even know how to live on the outside anymore. I don't know how to live on the outside. He's a shahshank. Are you doing a bid right now? No, no, I was kidding. But, dude, you were always in and out of prison. Yeah, I was in and out.

Joe, yeah. Joe's always doing a bid. He's what you call a repeat offender. Yeah, but I, but never got. We did. Never got burned either. Never got burned either. Never got burned either.

I couldn't believe it. No. What are you talking about? Well, I mean, chlamydia, but that goes away. I thought you meant. You fucking pig. Yeah. I mean, that's the definition.

That's getting burned. That's the definition to get burned. If you get herpes or get AIDS. No. No. Anything. Because clemity is just so struck down. I never got clemity.

I never got anything. I can't believe it. I've been inside. I've never been shanked. So they didn't have to be. I can't. I've never got shank it has to be then something with your immune

system it has to be he has to have that longevity we were talking about Jesse you must have it must be able to kill it off because you have to have come into no you know what I think it is I think the two levels of pig you I know you guys both you're two levels of pig right all right he's a he's a more

he has more discretion Joe does Joe has he has to have a conversation right the girl's got to have a band or lately the fucking lately the Lately, the girl has to have a cock. Yeah, or a cock.

Something intriguing. Yeah, like Joe's got, oh, you like comic books, and then he's into, or she's got a nose ring. He's reading out. Right. Yeah, you are, you're a buffet guy. I just go down to the DMV, and I'm like, I'll take you up. You're an 800-pound fucking American suburban slop at a Chinese buffet. I mean, slop, just pouring food on your plate.

You know what describes Chris Best? Chris will order pizza in Iowa. He'll order pizza where he's got no business order pizza And eat the whole pizza That's great I've eaten more pizzas in the back of a Ramada Near an airport in like Oklahoma Than anyone you've ever met in life

There's only one place for you You know what that is? Where? In the program Yes, in the program I got to be in the program In the program In the program

Well now but now it's good because You know now like being a long-term relationship Now it's like if you get there are no more bits Now it's like you get a little pain in your dick. You're like, it's almost you feel a relief. You're like, that cannot be an SDD. It's probable cancer, but it cannot be an SDD. And you actually feel calmer about it because you're like, I'll deal with that.

Yeah. It's the guilt and the shame. I didn't realize that all these years, it was the guilt and the shame. I wasn't worried about getting a disease. It was the guilt and the shame of it all. I'm shifted from my relationship that I had in a good way. But it shifted me a little, it's not the same. Meaning what?

Like you don't want a pig as much? You want to settle down? Yeah, I won't get too deep into this because it's not the type of pod to do it. But I talked about it on Lauren Compton's show for, we talked about it for an hour. But I was like, while you were staring at her tits

and wanted to bury your face of it. Yeah, everybody. She told me, she goes, I only like guys that have guts and they're out of shape. I don't want a man that tries. I was like, where to fuck were you five years? Yeah.

Jesus Christ, did you see my comedy sets of special? Jesus. Yeah. You can tell it. You're killing me. Is her husband just a fat mess? Oh, it's Terry Blacks, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I'd have never seen him, but she said, she told me on air, she goes, I don't like a guy that goes to the gym.

great but anyway no but I was telling her I was just like it's weird like once like I'm 47 this was the first time I ever truly was in love which I know is late in life but it's what it is what it is and the first time I ever really loved somebody I loved people but you know what I mean like this was the real deal and once you do that it changes the way sexes and feels and all that stuff which I never knew right and then so then when you're single it's I don't know it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's It feels different. It's just like it's, I don't know, it just feels different. It's, you know, I'd like to be, I'd like to get back into a, uh, a relationship. But no kids for you ever in the future. I'm not interested. There's only one room is room for only one kid in your household and that's you. That's me. I'm not interested. I mean, you guys love it, but, you know, I don't know. I see a lot of people that don't. Yeah. I don't know. I'll tell you it's not really wanted from an early age. It's not conducive to our types of career as well. Like, you know, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, you have to make a lot of decisions. you know, like you don't really do, you know, you can't go on the road as, I mean, you can go on the road and you can do anything want, but it comes with a lot of mental, you know, kind of taxing costs where you're like, okay, I can go on the road and make a lot more money and do this and do that, but you're like, but now I'm going to miss everything in my kids' life. I am glad, though, that I have friends who don't have kids, because when you have kids and a family, you have so little time to socialize, and I have friends who, I have friends who

have kids, and you can't just call them anytime, you know, because they're always busy. But when you have friends who don't have kids, you can call it one in the morning, and they're just available. Yeah, they're just like, I'm ready to go. I know if I, if I'm going through something, I'm going to call Joe, because I know Joe will be available. I'll call him at 2 in the morning.

If I'm having a massive anxiety tech, I know he's up somewhere at some bar trying to fucking finger blast them five. But that's, that's, there's a flip side to the coin, though. because I'm everybody's I've said this before like I'm everybody's dog walk friend

I'm everybody's dog walk friend it's good to put it yeah all my married friends my friends with kids they call me hey what's up just walking the dog so anyway I'm like they get back to the house all right well got to go I'm going inside I'm like hey fuck you man

what about your fucking whore I know when you need me I got a buddy it's just that that's how it goes when you're married you just you don't have time you know back to the But it's a little bit of a double standard. Right.

It's a little bit of a, it's kind of like the guy that gets a girlfriend in the group. I think you look at him. And then he disappears from the group. It's different. And then they break up and he comes back and you're like, oh, now you got time. Well, but it's different. No, it's different because that he's choosing like a relationship. But when you have kids, you have to be a present father.

You can't just speak off to the bathroom and talk. Right. Because there's a lot of times or like, you know, like you've called or like other friends have called. And like, I want to pick up the phone, but I'm in the car with the whole. whole family. It's fair. And then I'm like, I can only call you back. And then if I'm, and if I got to get off the phone with a friend to go back in the

house, it's because I see my family waiting there. It's like I have to go back to that. Yeah, I get that. Yeah. It's almost like you got to accept the rules that you're the friendship gumma. Yeah. And I can only call you. Yeah.

You can't call my home. I get that. But if you ever really needed us, like Chris, because I'm not available. All you would have to say is, hey, dude, I'm really in a pinch. I need you. And then I would say, okay, let me tell my family to wait five minutes. And I'll put a point. positive, the positive side of it is, which I didn't realize still now, is you look at it as,

hey, man, they got 10 free minutes and they're choosing to spend it with you. There you go. You know, like, yeah. I get that. I think with a family, that's more accurate. I only have a couple of friends now that I speak to that don't have kids and you're one of them. Right. Because I don't have, I would love to talk to more, but I truly don't have the time.

I put the phone, to be honest, I put the phone down. When I'm home, I don't, I just, I don't, you have my sponsor text for eight, nine hours. I'm away from my phone. That's good. And you should. And if you want to teach your kids to do that, you've got to lead by example. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You know what I mean? The other day, we just moved into our home. And the other day, I was like had my phone on me and like, everybody was there. My whole family was there. My mom was there. You know, my dad lives in Florida. And then Jasmine was like, why do you have your phone on you?

I'm like, I don't know. It's just a case of emergency. She's like, what emergency? Everyone that you need, your family were all here in front of you. So just she was like, put the phone. in another room and then I did and then it's like the first 30 40 minutes or a little bit like where's the phone whatever maybe I should your brain starts to play tricks on you maybe what if my dad has an emergency I need him and then all these things and then after like an hour you're like

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Go to getSole.com and use the code history hyenas. That's get soul.com promo code history hyenas for 30% off. And here's the best part. USA grown hemp. It's made right here, vegan gluten free. low in sugar. Yeah. I went out in the city last night. Now this is kind of a cheat, but I have the, I have the I watch with the, oh yeah, yeah, like your cell service on it. Yeah. I went out in the city last night and I left my phone in the room and I was like, all right, like if I need a car, I'm going to have to

get a yellow cab. You can't call Uber on the watch. I'm not really going to be able to take any phone calls and whatever. That's it. Like, and it is what it is. You could text at most. But I was just like, even that much was just like, okay, you got a thing on your wrist that will tell you if there's an emergency. And that's it. And that's it. Did you feel free? Did you feel much more present? It's the same exact thing you just described.

The first 30 minutes, I was like, wait, where's my phone? Where's my phone? Because I went out and smoked at one point. I went down to Joey Roses and I went outside and had a smoke. And I was like, where's my phone? And I was like, oh, I left it in the room. And then after a while, I forgot I didn't have it. And then you had a great night without it.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it makes you more present. Well, that's like, you know, the best bars now they're saying are the ones, some of these are certain bars that are saying, like, for fun, just put your, put, like, those yonder bags that they give us, if you want to go back in time, we'll play music from the 90s and you put your phones in these bags and you can get them when you need to smoke, but other than that, there's no video, no recording, like you could just go live. Yeah, no, man, I think that's going to be a growing trend. I think with the way everything is, that that sort of thing is going to be a growing trend. I also, I'm going to call it now. think people you know my friend my friend sent me some pictures she has a thing she does they're not nudes but like they're salacious whatever i could see now why your relationship ended no no she she she was asking me to help her with captions for the pictures that were kind of funny yeah so i was trying to help her and she said she's like i'm a little worried because

like, I look very real in these, and I was like, I go, that's going to work to your advantage. Yeah. I go, you know what everybody's going to get sick of? Everybody's seeing Instagram filters? Everybody's seen AI people, whatever. I go, people that have imperfections, all these things AI can't do, I go, you guys are going to fucking take off. Yep.

You know what I mean? If you're like a imperfect human, which we all are. Yeah. And especially if you're imperfect in doing like some sort of sexual content, please, dude. Like you, I think that's going to be booming. Natural. Booming. Dude.

It's getting crazy. There was a guy who murdered two innocent people on a hiking trail in Arkansas a couple of days ago. And he got arrested. They were cutting his hair when he got arrested. And the barber, female barber, was cutting his hair. Her picture in the paper that they used was an all Instagram filtered picture. I was like, they're even using, like, there's no point to put the filter on this. There's actors.

They're de-aging actors and things now for no reason. Yeah, like just get a guy, just get an actual actor You take it a mug shot and they're like Can you throw a filter on that? Yeah, but have you noticed that? There's like TV shows where they're clearly de-aging the actors And it's not because the park calls for it Right

They're making them It's like a shooting version of an Instagram filter They just got really disturbing It's disturbing The future is unknown But I tell you we can get a hint at what it's going to look like I mean they have erased the gene that causes Down syndrome

They've erased it Yeah So there will be more down syndrome or down-frigerom kids. They think that this is, yeah, that this could be the end of it. Holy smart. And I promise you now there will be people

that will protest that. We'll be able to say the word retard again. Yeah. They can. In Austin. Yeah. In Austin, yeah. You can fucking really let it stay.

I guarantee you there will be people that will protest that. Right. And say, like, how dare you, how dare you call it an imperfection? And I bet you every one of those people will not have a relative who has downso. It's...

That's how it goes. The obesity we've talked about, you know, hair being bald. We talked about it with Dan Soder. Like, all these things are going away. Like, leprosy used to be a thing that would, a real fear. Like, you could die of leprosy. It was actual polio.

And these things are just eradicated. So we're living in a time where I think in the next 50 years, like, you'll start to see abnormally low amounts of obese people. Yeah. You just, or bald people. Well, everybody's sticking a needle in their stomach and losing the weight. Even you took Ozempic, you pig. I tried it for a month.

I did. What didn't you like about it? Look, I think you have to be considerably overweight for it to really have an effect. You know what I mean? I was trying to lose five or six pounds. Right. You took Osamaic to lose five pounds. I couldn't do it.

I kept to get hoskins. I kept eating hokies. You just wanted to trim down. You couldn't lift your body off the couch and just do fucking 15 minutes on a treadmill for five pounds? Why? Six pounds is a week away. Why? Shoot it in me.

Dude, you could skip two meals and lose five pounds. I didn't want to skip two meals. What I didn't want was to have the urge to eat those two meals. I wanted that urge to go away. It didn't work? Like, did you have any symptoms? It made me feel kind of crappy. And you couldn't really drink on it.

Like, you drink, but you couldn't get drunk. I was like, I'll lose it the old-fashioned. Yeah. Did you lose it? Are you down those five, six that you need? I'm getting, I'm pretty close to where I need to be. Right. I need to lose a few more.

but uh but uh i was ever be a jacked jo de rosa will you ever get jacked no i do now is that a aesthetic choice no i just do a little upper body shit so i you know then whatever i don't one time he said we were on the phone for like 45 minutes and then we were talking and he did his workout while we were on the phone i didn't even hear him breathing hard he was like oh i did my workout already i was like when he was like well i was in the phone with you i just do shit with dumbbells i did i did like 50 pushups today i don't know like whatever i don't i don't fucking care but do you like you like because you're also a rock you also rock and roll guy yeah so do you like the skinny kind of like look like yeah i'm a dangly kind of my i've noticed like there's a tiny bit

of shape coming into yeah you're getting you are getting a nice little bicycle and i'm like i'm fine with that yeah i'm fine with that and whatever i'm not going to be a guy that's like i got to go do legs today right don't fuck just will never be that guy it's exhausting for you even think about that guy i'm going to join a gym in austin for two reasons i want to be able to walk without sweating to death in a hundred degree heat. So I'm going to join a gym where I can walk inside and just get steps in, and then I'm going to go, and for the steam room to sweat out the boots. To get guys in there.

Yeah, to suck off the juice. You got realistic standards, and I like that. You just want to be able to walk without sweating. I mean, no, no, no, no, no, no. You miss, that is fun. Now I know why you were laughing. I wasn't saying walk without sweating. But you kind of were.

No, no. I'd say it's 100 degrees. I know. And I want to go walk like two miles. You're like, this is ridiculous. I'm going to get sunstrode. Right, right. Right.

Right. But you just want to be in shape enough to walk in Austin. I just want to, well, I like walking as exercise. I listen to music. I answer emails. I write. You're not interested in running. You're not interested in looking like Joe Roked.

Yeah. My lap still stands. Right. Yeah. Running is a horror show. Yeah. I don't even understand. You don't want to do it.

It's not a rose garden. No, no, it is not. And you don't. And you don't promise that. No, it is not. Yeah. But wait, while we're talking about this, can I, I just want to, I want to do a call, I want to call some shit out with this Sidney's winning thing. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Fucking burning me up. Yeah. This poor girl, she goes, did you see her response where she's crying? No. Does that, is that Neil? No, she responded. Yeah. It's sad, dude.

Are, is it like, is the, is it cropped? I just want to see tits. She's, I want to make sure. She's one of the hottest women I've, I mean. She's hot and naughty way. You know, that's the thing. She's not like, like, oh, my God, beautiful, like you're looking at... She's a sex symbol.

Yeah, you're not looking at, like, Jennifer Connolly. Have you ever seen her in the HBO show? You want to spit in her mouth. Fake? I think it was probably fake. Oh, no, there was a video of her crying, but was it not in response to this? But do you know what I mean? She's not hot like Jennifer Connolly, like beautiful.

She's hot like you want to spit in her mouth and have her spit in your mouth. Right, right. Oh, my God. It was fake. Where'd you see it, Joe? Sick. On Instagram? I saw her on her phone crying and being like everybody needs to be a lot nicer on the

internet like I don't even know what to say to all this and it was like I hope you're all happy like here's her response Kansas Owens I got a message for you I suspect that Sidney Sweeney is a guy get on it yeah is it this one fascism let me say hold on oh my god it was fake you got no wait right there Sydney Sweeney response to American Eagle backlash yeah yeah with Ray Ellen talking over it yeah that's that's the video I saw is that not let's see look at these fucking pieces of shit she accepted the job practice the ad showed up and shot it her tears are performative she know exactly what she was doing this is what is it we need to

know if that's real though because if it's not real what is she doing what what what is the problem with the ad well they said Sidney she looks hot as shit and they said Sidney Sweeney has good jeans. The joke of like she's wearing jeans. Yeah, yeah. It was like American Eagle Kings. Yeah. Yeah. And the joke was she's got good jeans. She's hot. But good jeans. She's wearing them. Okay. So what's a problem with that?

But let's come on. We live in 2025. You don't think the advertising agency or the American Eagle knew a little bit. We put a blonde girl, blue eyes. We pun on jeans. This is going to take off on social media and we want it I think they got the biggest chick around right now and whoever thinks is the hottest chick around right now and she said I'll do an American Eagle ad and they said and then we'll do one with hopefully they probably had a list of people right that looked like all kinds of different people you don't think it crossed their mind for one second blonde hair blue eyes this is I got

let's put it this way I got good jeans let's put it this way yeah if you but but why hold on a second fine but here's my point if you see if you see If we were in the meeting and you brought that up to me right now, my response would be, that would be crazy, though. Like, wait, what? Like, who would get mad? And also, doesn't everybody have good, can we just say somebody has good genes? Yeah, but you know in the climate that kind of we have online,

if you said that to me, I'd go, that's genius. And if it becomes a controversy, that would be awesome. American Eagle responded. And then I'd go, in fact, let's throw some fake accounts in there to initiate it. American Eagle responded. They said the ad was always and will be about the genes. Yeah. So at least that's what's starting to happen now is nobody's, no company is backing down anymore. But that's why I think feeds into John at this point. Here's my. I'm almost 100%. I'm almost 100%. I would say I'm 98 to 99% sure that I'm right. It's like the Colbert shit. It's like, really, Steve? Yeah. Really, Steve? You didn't? Really?

You were losing 40 million a year? You didn't know? You didn't know? You didn't know? Oh, Steve. you're not walking, you're going to continue to take money from the bribe for another year? You're not walking? Why don't you walk, bro? Why don't you make a statement? Walk! Yeah! Anyway, it's all performative bullshit. No, I want to get you started. Fucking whine you up to go. This is what bugs me.

This is what bugs me with the Sidney's shit. Okay? And this is a message to a lot of our colleagues. You know, I hate to the fucks me. I see a lot. I'm not... I'm not conservative. God damn it. I'm not conservative. Okay. I'm not Republican. I don't I'm not a fan I don't give a fuck what you guys all have to say

about conservative this and conservative that and Republican this but I see a lot of motherfuckers bitching about the fucking conservatives and the comedians that lean that way and the people that lean that way and the problem in America da da da da da da da da da where the fuck is your concern for humanity

when shit like this happened right Mark Marin where's no I'm not I'm not naming names I did for you That's not what I'm saying It's exactly what you're saying I'm not no But I'm serious

It's like here's the thing man This is all from the left Do you hear that Anthony Juzzledick Stop This is all from the left This is absolute national bullying From the fucking left Yes

Where's the humanity now Where are the people coming out and saying Hey guys leave this girl alone What the fuck are we doing? She voted Republican though Joe in Florida That's the problem. That's why Trump is praising Sidney because she's a registered Republican. So it feeds into that a little bit.

So that's what it is. That's part of it. Yeah. Now, do you think they would have her back otherwise? They wouldn't have. No. No. I think that that I do agree with everything you're saying.

And I also agree with Yonis how I think it could all, this could all be, like how Lauren Michaels would have negative press be leaked out because it all promotes SNL. Like also similarly to the, Yonis brought up the throwing the dildo. on the court for the WMBA. Oh, that's so obvious. That's all, the WMBA is probably doing that themselves. Well, yeah, Disney does that with Star Wars, where before the show even came out, they would be like, a lot of racist backlash already, and there wouldn't be any.

Right. And they'd get everybody yelling at each other. Right. Jesse taught me the best about the advertising agents because he was in it for so long. If you don't think these people are two steps ahead and aware of this and understand that traditional advertising doesn't cut it anymore and you need to do outrage and vice. You know, I mean, it's just what it is now. I mean, everyone is aware when you look at things like, just for an example, Shane Gillis, right, going back in time, right?

Horrible press. Ultimately, this has nothing to do with how talented he is because he is, but ultimately it was very good for him. Right, right. People knew his name. Right. So we're at that stage now where it's going to get shameless like this, where people are going to do outrageous things on purpose. On purpose, they're going to go, let's try to repeat the phenomenon that happened with a guy. like Shane where a negative press inadvertently inadvertently help the first guy there's will be a guy

there will be a person who's going to who's going to create a fake controversy about themselves and put it out yeah and yeah i actually i exactly i was i was pissed off when uh m&m put out the death of slim shady because he his whole and he didn't really do this with the album but his whole thing was like i'm going to cancel myself because i was working on a tv idea about a guy who tries to cancel himself because he thinks it'll be the route to get to fame and then all this this whole can of worms opens but uh but um but anyway but i don't know man i just it just bothers me that i like that you made this about you found the way to bring it back to something no no how you got hurt by this no no i didn't get hurt by anything emm stole your idea oh no that's what you mean i'm doing plastic surgery

like emm you got me for them i don't like no i love him no that'd be great i love to star so I love Eminem. I love Eminem. Fuck you, Eminem. I hate you. I love Eminem. Yeah. Guys, do yourself a favor.

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But my point is, is it just, this shit just bugs me, man, that there's this call for humanity from one side of this aisle all the time. And then when shit like this happens, nobody calls it out. Nobody calls it out. Where was the fervor, where was the fervor with the liberally minded people in this business when YouTube was censoring people and demonetizing people? If you even said the word COVID in your video. Right.

Where was the fervor around that for free speech? Right. Where were the people coming to John Stewart's defense? Because he had to cut ties with Apple because he wanted to talk honestly about things like COVID. And they said no. Right. Nobody defend, and he's liberal and nobody defended him. Right.

It's just crazy to me, man. Like, the way people pick these perfect PR lanes. It's whatever works for them. Yeah, because, because, well, that's a safe. This is a safe one. This is a safe one. I'll just ride right up the middle. Yeah, yeah.

It's just, since it's being phony. Yeah, I'll continue to piss and moan about Austin. We all got cameras on us, so everyone is grifting and being performative. Yes. And projecting this public image that they're. strictly this or strictly that when everyone in private is a mixed bag let's be on sure everyone's a mixed bag sure you get john stewart alone and you talk to him and you go hey what do you really think about crime do you really think mondami's going to be good on crime really personally the cameras

are off let's talk about right let's look at examples in seattle let's look at examples in portland dude if you look at chicago if you really think this social democratic platform on policing is going to work if you think john stewart's going to say yes i got i'll take you one step further even if you Mom Doni in private, he would say, I don't think my policies are after going to work. When you got Montaubian private, he would giggle, he would laugh and he'd say how good am I doing? I'm the talented Mr. Ripley. I have no feelings.

Yeah. Isn't it great? This, well, this Sydney-Sweeney thing, I believe, and I might be wrong, but I think this is as big a misstep from the left as anything. Bill Marr said that thing about, like, while you were protecting your virgin ears, you got fucked in the ass. Yeah. I think,

this is another great example of that and this is another thing that whether people like the right side of the aisle or like Trump or not this is a thing to look to when everybody's going can you believe these fucking idiots voted for Trump it's like I'm not a fan of Trump but you know what I understand yeah I do understand people see shit like this and whether you want to say this is a big deal or not I'm not even saying it is I am saying this is what people see and they go you know what fuck this shit man yeah I'm going over there I don't know And I think too

Even in this world of I mean one of the thing we did Five six years ago You know we were seeing people like get these write-ups From like variety magazine or whatever About like best comedy special of the year And we would watch the special and be like Listen comedy subjectively get it like this isn't even like remotely

It was a often it would be objectively bad And then Janus wrote like you know You know filtered years before AI wrote an article saying how great the history I ain't is where I made it look like it was from the New York Times and we posted on Instagram and the amount of messages I did it as a sad time.

The amount of overwhelming response we got from huge, like Bill Burr, we didn't even know Bill Burbank and like personally we thought it was like finally you guys are getting some recognition we're like oh so it's all bullshit. The same way that the people will say this is the best ever or Sydney Sweeney look at this harblet it's all you realize

oh marketing it's all a lie. All of it you can create it yourself. That's why you got a, the best thing is to just get that organic buzz where people tell their friends then you know that people really like it. Going back to his special, the Rose Garden because it's like, oh, okay, that there's no it's just like, oh, there's just a good special people hear

about it. And I love that he found the way to promote his sandwiches too. And you don't think fucking Joey thought about that just the way you don't think American Eagle didn't think about the pun? No, make no mistake. I'm real, dude. Yeah, yeah. You thought about it. He said Rose Garden, Joey Rose is.

No, because the kids always hawking sandwich. Make absolutely no mistake, even though Joe presents his Italian, was born... He's a fucking Arab. No, no, born Egyptian, he's a Jew. Yeah. He's a Jew, right? Are you Egyptian? Are you mostly Egyptian?

Uh, yeah. Do you know what I understand? Do you know what they do in Egypt, which I just learned on Jeopardy? Why? A fact? 80% of women in Egypt have their clits cut off. No. Yeah, I thought that wasn't real.

No, it's fucking real, dude. I wasn't question on Jeopardy? No. Ken Jennings would say that... No, that was the joke part. Oh. It wasn't on Jeopardy, but I'm saying... 80%?

87. 87% of women in Egypt had... I can't imagine. That's true. It is true. That seems crazy. That is true. There's a clitless society?

It is... I guess it seems crazy. You think there's like a quarry they throw... No, it's just... They just... They just cut the fucking cliques off. It's... That's insane. That's insane.

Yeah. That's gross. I mean, yeah, I mean, Sydney, Sweeney, just know if you're listening. I just like Joe is single. Yeah. And I just want to remind everyone you have to do this. It's not a reflection on Islam. It's, you know, it's got nothing to do with Islam.

It's just the Egyptian thing. All right. You have to be careful. Dude, we need to be kind of for the next two months. I got a show in Saudi Arabia. So I don't want any clips to pop up at the airport. Wait, do you really? Swear to God.

Why? They're doing a big comedy festival there. God, dude, that sounds awful. That sounds like a terrible idea. You think? Yes. In Saudi Arabia, but I thought that was like the Americanized one. I mean, you wouldn't go? I mean, dude, that's like saying. Don't say, just go

and bomb, just don't say anything. That's the thing. There's so many things you can't say. Right. Can I just go, I could just go talk about Puerto Ricans, right? No. You wouldn't do it. You know the way you talk in the right number you wouldn't do it? Dude, that's like saying, you know, there's a, you know, dude, I don't know. That's like going through, to me, that's like, you know, there's a nice restaurant, but you got to walk through a real bad neighborhood to get there. Right. I don't know.

Like, you would not feel comfortable being over there. I don't, I would not feel comfortable going to that region of the world personally. Right now. No. But they say Saudi Arabia is. very, very safe. But what do you cross and through to get the story? Yeah, like you could just get a plane shot

out of the sky. I don't know, man. It just seems, why why test it? Yeah. I know. My family is pretty upset that I said yes. There's a reason. You're going to a country that looks good on the surface, but there's a lot of horrible things happening in that country

to make it look a certain way on the surface, right? Right, right, right, right. But also, but let me, this is how you succeed there. Do you know the jokes you're doing your group chat about Jews? Yes. Tell those. Tell those. And you'll be fine.

Right. Yeah. They're not going to know what you're talking about with the Rican shit. Well, I said, I said to my agent, I was like, I'm going to, I'm going to, like, bomb bad. They were like, they want American comedy over there. They have a base of 5,000 U.S. troops. Oh, it's a true. It's a true show.

No, no, it's not the troop show. It's the Ria, Ria. What's the cap? R. I don't fucking know. Rydia. Saudi Arabia. It's the, it's the, it's a huge. Kevin Hart's going.

Tom Segura. me, Sam, Tim Dillon. It's like, is Tim going? Tim's going? Ridiott Comedy Festival. I guess if all those guys are going, that's a good gauge of like it'll be okay. Is him going? Yeah, Ridiott Comedy Festival.

See it down there? I mean, I think he's debate. I'm almost positive. Let's go to the roster. Let's see who you on. Yeah, the comedy festival. Oh, Jesse, up, up, up, up, yeah, right there. Yeah, visit Saudi.

Let's see who's on there. So my show's in like late September. So let's see. Let's see who's on there. Let's see. The Radio Comedy Festival, September 29th to October 6th. Yeah, go down. Oh. Let's go to shows. Yeah, well, let's see the shows.

Website. Visit website. There it is. On the right, Jess. Yeah. Down? Yeah, there we go. Website. Let's see. We book. This is to buy tickets.

Yeah, except what we just want to see. See who's on it. Yeah. Oh, it's just you buy a ticket and then you go see whoever. Well, let's see. 24 world class. Oh, Whitney Cummings. Bill's going to be there? Bill? Bad friends?

Yeah, all right. Yeah, it'll be fine. Let's see who else. Maz Jabroney? There it is. All right. So you're okay with this now? Yeah, I mean, it appears to be on the up, but, you know, what do I know? Remember when all the famous positions died in the same plane crash? You're going to be the fucking Richie Valens of comedy.

You're the fucking big bobper going to get blown up over there. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I mean, Masjobrani is safe. Yeah, he's good. Oh, yeah. I mean, Whitney's a woman and going. I don't know. I mean, if Bill's going... Whitney's going to have to perform wrapped up.

Go to the 28th, Jesse. See who's on the 28th. I mean, I'm Saudi Arabian and it would make me nerd. I'm a little Saudi Arabian, and I would still be... You just wouldn't like... And when you go to scene more, Jesse, doesn't... It doesn't click. All right.

It's just, it's an intense time, man. It's just, I don't... This is nothing against Saudi Arabia. it's just in general my take on everything anymore I feel like going into the world anymore is like going on to X I'm retracting from it like I don't want to be in the mix of it all anymore

I want to pick my spots I want to be able to go into places that I feel comfortable in I think you're gonna be fine you know but I don't know do you know what I mean like getting harder and harder to want to travel well my yeah anywhere within this country let alone yeah somewhere else I know dude well I will say even

with air travel, like, dude, you know, as we're all on the road, I've flown, we've all flown, I mean, thousands of times probably now, but I will say now, I don't know if it's the media, you know, just making stories like that things happen every day, like an emergency landing here, an engine failure there. I don't know if this just always was happening, and they just wouldn't report on it, but like every day there's a problem with an airplane. Every day, like it's in the news. And so you're just like, every time you get on, you're like, fuck.

Well, you know, it's, the thing that's scary to me is that the current admission, seems to be seeking to just dysregulate everything and get and a lot of these regulations are in place for safety and shit like that so you're going like all right maybe I'll sit these four years out until we get back to do you have to get on flights yeah you just get you just do it

you just tuck your dick in between your legs and sit on your balls and do it yeah you know I'm overreacting but you know that's the vibe the vibe is like hey we don't that's these safety protocols is all bureaucratic bullshit yeah and watch and you know what but sometimes watch now panic watch me now panic and cancel my show

and then a week later de rose is going to take my He will. He'll fucking take it. I'm not big enough to be on that festival. Seymour. Can you click on Seymour? No, it doesn't work. Yeah. Well, that's a bad sign. Yeah, that's not good.

Yeah, that's not good. No, you're going to be over there with French. I mean, you know, Santino and Bobby will be there. Yeah. Burr will be there. I mean, he won't talk to you, but he'll be there. Me and Whitney will do ketamine and talk about being parents. Yeah.

Bad Santino. But yeah, no, but what you just said about the media, it's the media are they're fucking scum. I mean, I've been saying. I've been saying since the first, since 2016 with the first Trump election, when everybody was bitching about Trump, Trump, Trump, I go, why don't you guys start bitching a little bit about the media and that these fucking people are running around unaccountable?

Right. With a shield of if you dare criticize us, we will call you a fascist. Right. They are irresponsible completely 100% of the time. They all have fucking blood on their hands. It is disgusting. It is fucking disgusting with these people run wild with. And that's why now we live in an age.

where you've got YouTubers running circles journalistically around actual professional journalists. Yes. You've got guys like David Rubin, Tim Dillon, the list goes on. Now, whether you agree with these guys politically or not is a different story, but that's not my point.

You watch these guys speak to actual journalists, professional journalists, and run fucking circles around them. Right. It's insane. It's insane that this is where we're at. Do you think it ever goes back or it just gets worse from here?

This will never, my take on this country for 20 years now, and it continues to be so, it will never get better, it will never improve, you will just find different degrees of comfort amidst what we are living. So our golden years was the 70s and 80s. You're done. It's too high a ceiling. You can't have a ceiling this high with this many people. It doesn't work. Right. It doesn't work.

When every fucking person can create an illusion of luxury for themselves. because we all have the same phone we can all lease the same fucking car right we can all create this fake lifestyle online right you can rent clothing you can rent jewelry it doesn't work

right it doesn't work you that has such a profound effect on motivation it has such a profound effect on on entitlement and thinking understanding what's earned versus what is deserved versus what that's all gone. Are you saying we need like abject poverty back

to give people's motivation? No, that's not what I'm saying. Because as Joe another Joe said, Joe DiMaggio said nobody who was ever rich made it to the big leagues. Wow, that's interesting. Yeah. No, no, that's not what I'm saying.

You heard that one by Joey D, right? I have, yeah. The other Joey D. The other Joey D. No, that's not what, that's, I can't tell if you're joking. America's Joey G. Joe DiMaggio.

Joey DMAG. Not fucking communist red over there. No, that's the judge. This guy's fucking a solid. that's not what I that's not what I that's not what I'm saying we love this country yeah that's not at all we're gonna be fine right um Dombie's gonna fix it the uh yeah our fans are yelling fuck Iraq in the car right now I'm I'm I'm referencing uh I know what you mean there's a George there's a George Carlin quote where he goes we're way too fucking prosperous for our

own good everybody's got a cell phone that'll scratch their balls and make them pancakes it's like it's true you can't said that what 20 years ago 15 years ago probably 20 over 20 years ago yeah but it's like you it's it's you it's you it's you're can't, the access to prosperity is, it's not good. And the access to a platform is not good. And I know that sounds like fascist thinking, but it's the truth. You, you, we've leveled the playing field to a point where, where, we're, what do you do? Where do you go from here? Where do you go? Colin Quinn said once, once one team starts calling everybody Nazis, the other team starts calling everybody pedophiles, you don't come back from it. And you're like, wait, say that

again you were mumbling that you don't know yeah yeah I said everybody fucking it's a taping yeah say it's a taping yeah

say it's clear well you're fucking you know fuck it's well it's a sense of entitlement too right

I mean everybody's entitled everybody thinks they should have what you have because they feel it's in their grasp

because of social media and now put it inject into that the fact that you have to question, look, what would just happen with the city

Switty thing? Right. I'm sitting there going wait, is the video real? Is it not real? Is it real, but it's from three years ago? Right. Is it fake? Like, you is any review real? Yeah. You go on Amazon. This has 3.5 stars out of five.

Why? Well, it fucking broke. Is that a troll? Is it real? Did they pay for bots to flood that? Exactly. Right. They've given access to anything. Right. Is this post real? Is this news story real? Is it? It's all, you can't, we live in a culture of distrust. It's insane.

This is madness. You do not recover from this. There is no recovery unless it's an absolute shutdown. They take the phones away from us forcefully and they go, we're done. And now we're speaking his life. I would love it. Government come in, start taking phones for people. No more voice to the people.

That would come right in. All of a sudden, my legs would just start kicking up. Yeah, yeah. You're talking about some real authoritarian kind of Chinese tactics. I'm not saying, I'm not, rip the phones out of their hands. I'm not saying that's what I want. I'm saying that's the only way to fix any of this.

Like that's literally, I don't know what else you do. You don't keep allowing, I mean, Jesus Christ, dude, you got fucking people. You got fucking people on their phones and computers creating better de-aging and better CGI and better AI than Disney is doing. literally think about that think about that when that kind of power for lack of a better way of putting it or ability is in the hands of the average person this is fucking chaos the second that deep fake shit came out I was like here we go dude you're going to start seeing videos of president saying shit they didn't say right and it already is yeah and it's going to start

it's going to start social fucking chaos but don't you everybody thinks it's going to be troops marching down the streets with me so I get so mad when people focus so hard on Trump and this and fascism, whatever. Everybody thinks it's going to come with soldiers marching down the streets of the machine. That's not what's going to happen. We're going to all kill each other. Right. And they're going to fucking walk through and take what they need from our ashes and keep it fucking moving. That's what's going to happen. And they're allowing it to fucking happen. But do you think that... I agree with you. But do you think then the regulation

or the defense against that will evolve and like they'll regulate it better? So you'll be able to... But when a video goes up, it'll be... The AI will detect that it's AI and tell you it's AI, you don't think so? No, no. A.I. Dude, did you see those tests they ran on AI? They did a controlled experiment where they fed AI information about the people operating it.

And one of the things they fed it was a storyline that one of the engineers was having an affair. And when he told AI to shut itself down, it refused to do so and then started to try to blackmail him about his affair. Whoa! That's a real thing that happened. Sounds like my life. Yeah, yeah. It was a controlled experiment, but they were like, let's see what it does.

and that's what it fucking did. Wow. So, dude, it's already ahead of us. It's already ahead of us. It's already been carelessly fucking exploited. Nobody wants to listen to Bill Gates when he was like, guys, pumped the fucking breaks for a minute because he's the devil and all the phone. Yeah, it was like you microchip. Yeah.

So it's like nobody wants to listen to anybody because they don't like them because they wore the wrong fucking sweater on the wrong day of the week or whatever the fucking reason is. And it's like, okay, well, that's fine, guys. You can have your ethical stances and whatnot. but we're going to have to start to listen to each other. And now I just think it's too late. All the shit that China is doing, like all the authoritarian shit that China does, that was in place, right? So they're way ahead of us with a lot of shit.

But China is filtering it out in the way they decide to filter it out. We are past that. We had it dumped onto our laps. Everybody's got it. You can't add the filter. Dude, the happiness. I saw a social experiment. Happiness levels in China are way happier.

there than here. Really? Is that true? I don't know. They said because I think they tell you which box to check. Well, that's true. That's true. That's the point. You don't know. You don't know the statistics.

What did they say? They lost four people during COVID. Right. That was North Korea. Yeah. He also says he doesn't shit. Kim Jong-un. He says he's never taken a shit in his life. He tells the people that they believe it. There's only one thing that's going to cure at this. It's real. Yeah. That's incredible. They all eat it up. They love it. Oh, he seems to be living fine.

I mean, he's doing great. plenty of food rocket man and he's got pat ewing's flat top from the night yeah hold i'm gonna buy myself some time i gotta tell him to bring this thing over here what is it i was gonna have to go to the stand to no we're gonna wrap up right now we're wrapping up right now we're wrapping up right already but we're not even at an hour yet well we are he didn't start the time and then we do and then you're at an hour because he didn't start the time all right and then we also do we read our patreon names at the end of every episode so this hour this episode will be like an hour and 15 minutes all do it together guys there's only one thing that's gonna change this

and that's part I heart. What, I'm autistic. Yeah. It's the only, our heart has to fill out. The only thing that's going to solve this problem is a little heart in this world. Yeah. What it is? Somebody's going to clip that out of context.

You see it? I go, what? That wasn't a salute. I'm autistic. That's fucking hilarious. Yeah. That's hilarious. That's the only thing that's going to solve this, right? It's heart. Art and heart. Heart ain't going to do shit. How about, how about... Got to move to Phoenixville, Pennsylvania. That's the only answer. Yeah. I mean, honestly, dude, like,

If I could live in, I love Austin, I really do. Jesus Christ. Are you serious? No, I'm about to say something. Austin's a fucking dump. Oh, yeah. This city's real fucking praise. This city is amazing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love having a crazy guy come dance in my face and three feet. Oh, that doesn't happen in Austin at all. Not the degree that does here. Not the degree of us here. That doesn't happen in Austin at all. The dancing guy just goes on, Tony. Yeah.

That guy's going to win killed him. Not the degree it does here. I love saying the five-star hotel here. and seeing rats in the lobby. Is that true? No. I'm telling you, I'm taking shots back. He's taking shots back.

But you got blanks. You're talking about New York fucking city. You didn't even let me finish. You think Austin's great because you come from the suburbs of Philly. You're a fucking Wawa-Wat trash. You didn't let me finish. You're a Wawa-Trac. You move two hours north.

You abandoned this fucking city. I'm out of here. Yeah, exactly. I don't want to see anything. Exactly. I tell you what, if there's anything that I can't say it. You move to Westchester, Pennsylvania. Listen, I moved back to the 1950s, and I'm not upset about it.

No, what I was going to say was, you didn't let me finish the fucking sentence. I'm sorry. I still love New York. I have a great time here. Oh, my pig. Yeah. I love this. The city let you pig like no one.

I'm fucking, I'm with the rats here. You love it, right? What I was going to say is I love Austin. I love doing comedy and stuff there. But if I could live full-time in PA and still, like, maintain my career in the same way, I would do that. And I think that's where a lot of people's heads are headed, where they're like, I want to go smaller and quieter and like get into a smaller community of people. Like, you know, the guy, the moving company that we use when, you know,

where we moved, he said he's been mover for like 20 years. He was like the last year. He was like my moves. He was like, I've been doing this a long time. 20 years. He was like 95 plus percent of my moves are taking people from the five boroughs out as a. opposed to the first 15 years with taking people into the five boroughs. He was like, people are just leaving in droves. Everybody's going. Well, the city has made it, and this upsets me greatly about New York, but it is what it is. And this will spread out to the rest of the country.

Everything starts in New York and then get eventually reflected everywhere else. But it does upset me that this is the most blue city on planet Earth, and yet they have created an almost unlivable situation for the average human being. in the city. I think that's very... Rent through the roof. Problem prime. Mom and pops are closing up left and right. It's crazy. Yeah, bro. Even mom and pops, but even the big drug stores, like, bro, there are... Ride eights. There are three CBSes that I know of in Queens that they have those signs store closing big clearance sale. I mean, you want to talk about, we're talking about PR stuff,

orchestration strategy on purpose. Looks like one thing's actually another. There's something happening there with this. I'll tell you what it is, I think. It's the tech takeover. It's Amazon. They started doing pharmacy. Right. We look at what they did to our industry. Look at what they're doing to every industry.

Retail, whatever. The tech lords, I just bow to them. They are the new oligarchs. They are the new industrial barons. But it's even more because the industrial barons control things like transportation with the railroads, etc. These guys control the news. They control entertainment.

They control retail. they're starting to control pharmaceuticals they're getting everything so they really control the world it's crazy to think the power that only a few guys have we've never entered into this type of small club that owns they own AI yeah people are going to AI for therapy they control your mind your body your what you see what you eat yeah do you're about the AI psychosis happening yeah what's going on people that are like talking to chat GPT too much for advice and shit they're having, there's like a new psychosis happening where they don't, they're being told they're right and reassured so much by an algorithm, whatever it's called, a program. Artificial intelligence. Yeah, that they're having psychosis. Yeah, because they're going, like, I feel like Jesus. And they're going like, like, you know it in a lot of ways, you're brave like Jesus.

And yeah, so they do it. They're having psychosis. Confirmation by. Yeah, see, when I talk to the chat, GPT, I know that it's telling me what I want to hear because I'm kind of prompting it. But you're saying people out there are like, they don't understand that. No, there's a, there's a psychosis happening because people are. are talking to it too much and don't know how to now interact problem. I mean, dude, it was bad

enough. This is just a simple version of it, right? But it was bad enough when they implement it with the iPhone grammar correction. Because that's a very small thing, but it's indicative of a bigger problem. People start not understanding grammar. People start not knowing how to write things. People start not knowing how to express themselves properly in a written message. Because why the phone will fix it for me. And then it goes out with typos and then the phone will fix it for me turns into, well, big deal, sorry for the typos. And then the next thing you know, somebody doesn't how to fucking communicate almost at all because this is the only way they're communicating and they can't even do that the right way because they're relying on a phone to fix it for them.

And if it doesn't fix it, they don't know how to fix it themselves. So then they just blanket statement apology, right? People are now with chat GPT feeding into it what they need to say to another human being getting the message back perfectly written and then sending it. They're probably not even reading it half the fucking time. Right, just copy and paste something. They just know it will be written

diplomatically and in a way that if the other person were to challenge it, the other person would be an asshole. Why? Dude, people are representing themselves in court because they're just asking Chatsy-P-T what I should say and what I shouldn't say and they're just representing themselves. And you had the balls to ask, is this going to get better? What are you nuts?

Are you nuts? It's not a rose garden out there, folks. Yeah. That's what you want any safety and reprieve. You go to Joe DeRosa comedy, the official Joe DeRosa channel on the official one, not the other big ones. And you go watch his special. I never promised you a rose garden where he literally starts the special by saying this is a negative special. And if you need to ask a question, don't ask it to chat, GBT.

Just DM Joe Rosa and say, I'm attracted to trans women. Does it make you gay? Ask a real human who knows. Where did you film this, by the way? Phoenixville, at the Colonial Theater. It looks awesome. Historic colonial theater where the blob in the 1950s was shot. Is that true?

That's the theater that they all run out of. Joe puts thought into stuff, man, and I really dig that. And Joe, you've always been one of my favorite comics, always some of my favorite jokes. One of my favorite jokes that I still remember is a Joe DeRosa joke. And it was a long joke, and it was about how the city drives you crazy. Yeah, yeah. And, I mean, it was a brilliant joke. Thanks, man.

It was literally a brilliant joke. thanks about how um you know you're like this is how the city drives you crazy and he takes you through and it was like an eight minute bit and then you get you're talking about this guy on the street yeah yeah doing like the guy yeah the guy yeah the guy like when i was saying well i was just saying crazy people dancing in your face every three and you go this is how we got here yeah yeah yeah this is how the crazy guy what special is out from how many years ago i never put that on a special it's on one of my i think it's on my yeah because why would you do that you will die why would you put one of your best bits on a fucking spanish well maybe i'll put it in this new

fucking because it was so new york centric i was like i don't know if people will get this everyone would get that you know yeah but it was well there's so many people in the city that bit back because now so many cities reflect like how hard it is to live in them like i'll just say you when you live in a major city these days that's i'm going to bring it back bring it back can we end this going out on a jodrosa song are you still too soft a wind ball Salsa Winfell. You know, we just finished our new album. It comes out this fall.

Yeah. So, throw on a little Joe DeRosa. God, I hope Eminem hates it. Yeah. So Eminem, this is, this is an M&M disc track from Salsa Windfall. He puts Salsa Q Winfall. I mean, he just can't spell. Salsa Winfall.

Yeah, right there. My mouth on my money's fine. That was the single. I like that one. My daughter's like that one too with Jeffrey Gurian. Oh, really? That's cool that your daughter. My daughter, they like the music video.

No, no, up there, Jesse. You see YouTube where Jeffrey Gurion to the right? One more. Yeah. One more. One more, C-321, there you go. Yeah. Wait, Jeffrey Gurian plays on this song?

It's a great music video. My daughters love it. This is, look at when Joe DeRosa just is not washing his diet at all. Who told him that was a good thing? You look so much thinner now, Joe. You know, I drink more than I eat. Wow, that guy's a Jew. He's a dentist, Jeffrey Gurman.

I love Jeffrey. Where did you guys film this one, Joe? At the Joker's office. Oh, that's where you feel. Oh, where we used to record. When we used up that studio. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was the week they were leaving

Like nothing was left in there Yeah And we just went in and, yeah, shot the last week Boys, thanks for having me Yeah, Joe de Rosa I'd never promise you a rose garden on YouTube right now Mounted up you guys Of the windfall

Go see him in Austin Doing Coke in the green room All right, as always You know at the end of every episode we go to patreon.com slash history hyenas and we read out the newest members of the matriarchy and the funniest name wins. You get the PPW pseudopinance of the week.

Tell your friends to join the Patreon and that's where the fun is. Okay, so first of all, we got, first off we got James, then next up we got Tony Hinchcliffe's landfill consultant. Then we got Nature Boy Reich Flair. Whoa. That's a really good one.

It's a walked into one, but shout out to you for the creativity. Good. Then we got Suit Guy. I always need one. Suit guy's funny. That's a chicken finger. Megan Ney. Then we got my pan cries in the oven. My pan cries in the oven. I don't get it. Okay. Jacob DeMarco, sauce monkey. Then we got Juan Travolta in 310 to Fumis.

I'm going to help him out and I'm going to rename it to just Juan Travolta. Yeah. And you're going on on the list as Juan Travolta. And he did, and I, victim of bad read, it's 310 to fumesa, like 310 to Yuma. The movie 310 to Yuba. Yeah, put it on the list. Montrevolta and three tens to fuse. Yeah, that's the really good one it's going on the list. Good. Then we got Michael Jackson, can you moonwalk your glue gun out of my chocolate starfish? List it. I mean, if it gets a laugh from Jesse, it's the lift.

PDXXX, Max. Then we got Father Bill stuck his finger in my stinker. Now I can't blow glue unless my girl does, too. Father Bill made the kid trans. If you could come up with a great Father Bill angle. Yeah. It is the most, I don't know what it is about the father bill that's stuck. Yeah.

But the kids cannot let go of Father Bill. Cannot let go of Father Bill. And I lied about it like Bill and Molligan. So we're going to put that on the list. On the list. Yeah. On the list. Okay.

That's on the list. Then we got Big Bean Epstein, MVP on the Make a Wish team. Okay. Brando Francisco, Caleb Short. Then we got Dottie from Bengali, Tyke Sasquoddy in the street potty, Rodriguez. Put him on the list. Yeah. Wow, that's a goody.

Yeah. That's just how you. your shit over there. Yeah. Jake Jones, Frankie Fat Fumes. You can figure. Carter, Ticati Fisher, Kevin Montano, Vanessa Wood, Jeff Noak, Pac-Man Jones raps worse than Janus' peripheral vision. Drexler. Nice. Stoic and drunk, call me Marcus slurilius. Wow.

I got no choice. Got it. Mark, yeah, you got to put them on the list. I like it. These are, these are good lists. Oh my God. We have five on the list. Yeah, already, Jesus.

Migg family, Pam Bondi's box. Chicken figure. Yeah. Like it. Jari Lucas. Chrissy D. My poppy. By the way, Pam Bondi will get fucking cracked.

She's smart. She's hot. I like it. McGregor missed his bris. Mike Hawk. Oh, his bris. Yeah. boot lip moon cricket

Okay Cuzz is a fris Something racist Yeah Cuzz is a frisbee head So I throw pennies at him Okay You know where that goes

That goes into the walk It's the walked into one closet Yeah Where we keep them because they're good But we put them in the closet Where they belong Way song she ain't Walked into one

Yeah you walked into one Yeah It's one in the closet Okay In the closet. E.I.W. What Guevara. Luciano Bruno, Bill Clacks, Joey Ryder 4L. Cheyenne Kramer.

Alligator Alcatraz Homeowners Association. Screwed in. It could be a real business. Chrissy D. The D.P.T. $3 clinic, aka. Crack your back from the inside. Okay. Zach Garrett. Number 15, Burger King Foot lettuce. I don't understand it, but it's funny. Okay. Seamus Kelly. At Levin.

Chase Roberts Jonathan O'Donnell By the way I think there was an outrage fans really liked Frisbee and Frisbee Yes They were a little upset

With some of them were A lot of people thought We got it right But all right Shout out to Frisbee and Frisbee We even said that it was a tight race That and another one Another person sent an email

Saying they were upset They've made this name since June So I said I'd read it out And it's Glyssie Borden Like Lizzie Borden Like Lizzie Borden Okay That's what they wanted

Ticket finger A good name Sorry we missed it Luciano Bruno Bill Clackis Joey Ryder 4L Oh I read these already Then we got Zach Garrett Chase Roberts

Jonathan O'Donnell Make no mistake House Bar and Grill Like mistake Like a steak eating a steak Good pun Braden Bannischak Lather 4 cream

Lather 4Cream Instead of Latter 4T chicken finger Yeah Mustafa Kamal Parkinbum And Zach Ottom Came to Gallipoli Just to squirt And then squat on them

And then squat on them Okay Ricardo Leonard McGill The Muzzies ruined my third birthday, never forget I guess he was born on 9-11 Yeah

Is that Sergio? I guess he was three I guess he was born on September 11, 1998 Yeah Jesse's Mossad handler That's fucking

On the list Yeah On the list Emma Mom Donnie's Muzzi Salami, Saul Martinez, Puff Daddy's butt plug. Chicken figure.

Shane Gillis is kind of gay. Okay. Seventh Puerto Rican Maddie Lowe, no titty tattoo. Big beautiful Barbary butt pirate, F-A-F-O. Okay. Grayson Burgess,

Lauren Hatton, Testu Star, Kevin, Blades Grossman. Did $3 Chrissy get to glue up Kimmel Stink Star? The answer is no. Yeah. Two in the pink. one in the twink it's what it is okay okay

did he is oh shit yeah that one goes in the closet yeah on the top shelf though yeah it's a good one the Italian stallion cuss step the fuck up chrissey I like the Italian style yeah chicken figure

take it Josie Poulson bumped uglies with a haggis monkey now my glue gun shoots whiskey hashtag it burns what I pee okay had sex with the Scottish yeah that's gonna be a nice little uh that's a borderline dregs. Zach, I want a nut on your back and watch it drip down your crack onto your sack. No homo.

Hey, that's everything but no homo. That's why it is. Yeah. Found out my GF celebrated Juneteenth in a different way. It's what it is. It's what it is. She went and had sex with a black guy. You get a nice fat Drexer for that.

Yeah, it's nice. Stephen, Todd Patton, Colin Browner, Rachel Killin, Joe, Riley Hunter, Hunter, Sarsier, Dale Hamilton, diner monkey and Puerto Rican call me weppa in the ass call me wept in the ass okay Nathan French So he's what he's half Puerto Rican half Greek

Yeah So what's wept in the ass though? I don't know I don't know Oh because the Greeks like it in the ass Okay got it went for it Okay Jordan Van Campin scuffed Matt

Daniel Gonzalez Christ on a cracker That's a crack Okay Jesus Christ Jake Bridget MacGroens erect penis Okay, Camden Carco

Maximilian Otto Young Sam Tracy Doron Dadden People in Dunes usually got fumes Light of 14 Okay Dakota Miller

Leanna de Blasie Logan Preston Ford Logan Smith Trev Had a salad And Chris you moved My vegetables in a different way Mike Lewis

Miscellaneous white pean Ryan Jones Adam Jake Foster Gengis Conorrhea Still burns when I peea Very good borderline it's the Drexel though

and by the way all you straight to the backs welcome welcome capital P. I respect your decision to just come here for the content that's it yeah and we're getting more of those which is interesting capital P.H call me agate it's what it is Justin Leone

captured by Barbary Pirates now my cheeks are stuck together with Muzzy Leroy glue It's a consequence of getting pirated I and C stains Mark Skonskezi Timothy Higgins, the third, Billy Cook, Aden Riley, Brooke Hogue, Benjamin Phillips, Terry Lee Pickran, Jurassic Ark, Girth Brooks. Then we got, got, skip the line passes for the deli, call me Tony suck till the glue comes out, soprano.

We've had, look, the Gertbrook ones, guys, we've got, we've had that one like 10 times. Should I do one more page? Or we're good. We're good. We're good. So we're a little behind on the list, but we want to get, we're about quality, not quantity. You've got to listen every week. Eventually, we'll get to your name.

We promise. listening. We'll get there. You'll get there. So here are, here are the nominees. We got some good ones. Juan Travolta in 310 to fumesa. We're going to Drexer that one. Yeah. Michael Jackson, can you moonwalk your glue gun out of my chocolate starfish? We're going to keep that for now. Okay. Father Bill stuck his finger in my stinker. Now I can blow glue unless my girl does too. I like that one. We're going to keep it for now. For now, it's interesting. A father Bill, I haven't gotten this far in a while. That's why I say if you're going to do it, come correct. Dottie from Bengali takes a squatty in the street potty, Rodriguez.

I'm keeping that with you. Wow. That's a real good one. Yeah. That's a contender for me. Stoic and drunk call me Marcus Slerilius. Marcus Slerilius is another good way. We keep it for now.

Okay. And then last but at least, Jesse's Mossad handler. We're keeping that. Okay. We got a lot of goodies here. Okay. So Michael Jackson, can you walk your glue gun out of my chocolate starfish? Father Bill stuck his finger in my stinker.

Now I can't blow glue unless my girl does too. Dottie from Bengali takes a squatty in the street potty, Rodriguez. Stoic and drunk, call me Marcus Slerilius or Jesse Mossad's Masad handle. Okay, I got a good idea of where we're going to go. Okay, first one again. Michael Jackson, can you moonwalk your glue gun out of my chocolate starfish? We're going to Drex through that. We're going to Drex for that. Any other day, I apologize, it's a tough list. Yeah. Next one. Father Bill stuck his finger in my stinker. Now I can't blow glue unless my girl does too.

We're going to Drexler it, but I just want to say congratulations. It's a good one. Maybe one of the best father bills of all time. Dottie from Bengali, take a squatty in the street potty Rodriguez. We're keeping that one. Yeah. Stoic and drunk, call me Marcus Lerilius. We're keeping that one.

And then Jesse's Mossad handler. We got a three off. Yeah. We got a three off. What it is. Yeah. So, we're going to have to vote on this, but I'm going, Jesse's could throw his massage head.

I was going to, Jesse. Well, you go, because I'm in it. Honestly, because it got a genuine laugh and it's original, and we don't have too many about Jesse. Jesse's Mossad handler? It was a real good one It's a good one. Yeah, I mean, because you're saying the kids and facade. Yeah, but shout out to the other

two. They were great. Yeah, we're only doing it because Jesse never gets one. Yeah, and that was a good one. So Jesse's Mossad handler, go to history hyenas is back.com. See your name up in lights. PPPW you are the pseudo-penus of the week. Tell your friends about the Patreon. Come see us. We got all our stand updates up there. We got the live show

sold out August 27th in Stanford, Connecticut. There'll be more to come. But thanks for all the support for the He knows, baby. And see me in Tampa this weekend. Yeah.