History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - Knicks Parade & Texas Taxes | History Hyenas

Episode Date: June 18, 2026

The Hyenas are back! This week, Chris and Yannis break down the Knicks' long-awaited championship, the wild celebrations that followed, and why every sports victory somehow ends with people climbing poles and setting things on fire. Then they revisit the Shroud of Turin, exploring new evidence, fresh theories, and whether history's most famous relic is any closer to being solved. Plus: UFC at the White House. The boys dive into the bizarre collision of politics, sports, and spectacle as Dana White and Donald Trump bring the octagon to America's most famous address. Championship chaos. Ancient mysteries. Cage fights on government property. Classic Hyenas. #historyhyenas #NYKnicks #ShroudOfTurin #UFC #WhiteHouse #NBAFinals #YannisPappas #ChrisDistefano #HistoryPodcast #ComedyPodcast Support our sponsors: Right now, when you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third for FREE with promo code HYENAS. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to https://quince.com/hyenas Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas/ Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit.ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0 Hyenas Merch!!! https://store.historyhyenaspod.com Follow us Cuz! 🙆🏻‍♂️ Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ 🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ 🐕More Hyenas Website: www.historyhyenasisback.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/historyhyenas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HistoryHyenas Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/historyhyenaspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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What's up, guys? We've got a great episode for you today. Stay tuned. Don't click away. We talk today about many things. Chris is getting married. Also, the shrouded Teren, some follow-up news about that, some fascinating. And then we talk about the UFC rumble at the White House as well as the Knicks parade. That's what we talk about. And it's really freaking. cute and we got a lot of stand-up dates coming to you christie comedy dot com check out my dates connecticut portland mayn they're all up there yeah you can see me inlantic city east hampton uh long island new brunswick philadelphia and austin this summer janus pappas comedy dot com patria dot com slash history hyenas for your all in one what's up everybody welcome to another episode of

history hienas i'm chrisie the king gay with me as always yannis pappas a.k.a. Yonni yogurt tits. Yonni yogurt tits. Yeah. Is it, what can you see through the shirt? Today you look good because you have a haircut and I'm focused on your hair. But you look good with a black shirt and two shades on. So what should I, should I keep it flexed? You keep it flex and you got good arms, because.

Do the arms look good? The arms do look good and you're wearing people can't say, but you're wearing cargo shorts that... They're not cargo shorts. They're J. Crew khakis. Well, they, I see... I'm just very happy that you didn't pay attention to the details. It was very straight to you to get that wrong. Yeah. It was very straight to you to get it wrong.

Yeah. So, but I get very nervous when you nail it. When I, when you fucking nail details. Yeah. That's like what a woman does. And she goes, did you see her fucking hair? Did you see the hair clip she had in? It's like, who is paying attention to that?

I told, I had to tell it because I'm getting married on Sunday. So I had to tell jazz. I said, listen, people are going to hate on the wedding no matter what. So it doesn't matter. Don't go crazy with this. Have as many things as you want that you like. Because no matter what, baby. girl, people are going to talk shit.

So who cares? This is for us and for the kids. Okay? This is for us and the kids. This is for you and the kids, but also you have one thing working for you as well. Yeah. I think amongst her family, friends, and your family and friends, there's not too many judgmental people. No. There's only one person you got to worry about there who's going to judge the wedding.

And that's me. It's just what it is. Is Tim Dillon coming to the wedding? And Tim Dillon is coming? So there's two people you have to worry about. That are going to have some. One more or the other, he's going to be a lot more judgmental to me. The food better be like, what do we do in here for food?

We're having very, very high-end Spanish food. But not Puerto Rican food, like Spanish food. Like tapas. Yeah, but good. It's real good. We did a taste testing, and we took a real snooty guy with us to the taste testing, a real snooty little fucker. Yeah.

And he approved it. Right. Okay. We took a gay man with us to taste the food. Yeah, because they think everyone else at the wedding is just going to have a good time, be appreciative. Yeah, it's called comparty, C-O-M-E. P-A-R-T-I, let's see if you like any of this food. I know the sweets are going to be good because you know sweets like a fat kid.

Yeah, I know. If you had worse jeans, you'd look like someone else who's in this building. Yeah, it's just what it is. You are a sweet kind of store. Yeah, yeah. And just because just going with a very traditional Puerto Rican wedding, Jasmine's mom is making a homemade Tresaleche's cake and bringing it to the wedding. That's great.

And she's just, yeah, it's just what it is. I bet you it's going to be great. No, her Tres-Letches is amazing. Yeah, I bet she's going to be great. Now, today is the New York Knicks parade. The New York Knicks have won the NBA championship for the first time in 53 years. And make absolutely no mistake, the parade is here. And most likely, as this episode is being released, cars are being lit on fire.

Now, Nick, I have one question for Nick. I have one question for Nick in studio, Nick. My question for you is, to you, is Jalen Brunson a hero? Yeah, I love him. Okay. I think there's a lot of people out there right now. Jalen Brunson is a hero. did you hear what he said about Texas taxes

and did that upset you? I didn't hear it, but also... What are you saying? I don't care because I love him. But you love him. Okay, I think there's a lot of people who are very upset with Jalen Brunce right now. I know I am.

Okay? I know I am. What do you say? He said, I have nothing against Texas. I miss Texas taxes. And I said, wait a second, buddy. Wait a second. What are you talking about?

This is New York City. Yeah. Mammie and AOC are very excited. They had your jersey on. They were at the parade. They were at the parade. They're at the watch power. You set up watch parties for you.

And you have the audacity. The audacity to fly in the face of those two big fans and political leaders in our town. Yeah. And go against their policy ideology. Hero no longer. Yeah. Hero no longer. Because he's worth, what do he signed?

He signed two contracts worth $260 million by the New York Knicks. And that's just, and that's with a $110 million discount. That's a month of the discount. And that's just to this point. Now, endorsements and everything, he's going to be worked like $300 million. So is anyone worth that money? Can anyone earn $300 million for dribbling a basketball? tell me one person who can earn $300 million.

Is that fair? Is that fair, Nick? Yeah, I think it's fair. Yeah. So where do we draw the line? I'm trying to find out where the line is. Where is the wealth tax and the hating of the rich start? Does it start a billionaire, trillionaire, $100 million,

does it depend on personally if you like them or dislike them? If you like their politics, you don't. I feel like there's a lot of caveats that aren't being expressed. I don't know. All I know is that Jalen Brunson is whatever he wants in this city, he gets free for life. That's including massages at West Garden. Excluding that. Yeah. No, including that.

Yes. That's including massages at West Garden. I will put, I will put a credit up front for him that all his massages at West Garden are on me. Yeah, he gets anything. I think he even gets a pass. I think people are leaving looking past the fact that his wife is Jewish. Is his wife the Jewish? Yeah.

His wife's Jewish And he said that he misses Texas Toxies It's what it is Not everything falls neatly Into what people's Idealind Brunson Yeah supposedly

He bought a public news Bought a house up in Westchester So Jalen Brunson is one of You know he's just the greatest Nick I think ever Brought us this title And today is a parade Now are you going to be going to the parade Nick

I am going to go I just need friends to go with My cousin wants to go with me, but I think he's probably going to flake out like he always does. Is his name Chris? His name is Glenn. Glenn. That's funny. You have a cousin named Glenn. I know. Yeah.

Now, yeah, because I would want to go, but it's my daughter's fifth grade graduation, so I can't go. But do you have a little FOMO missing the parade, honest? Or you would, even if you were free, would not go? I'm trying to think of an answer more emphatic than no. Because you don't even want. I don't even, yeah, if there's a way you could say no even stronger. You don't want to go. I don't want to go.

I don't like being with the people anymore. Yeah. Right, right. There comes a point where you just, you, I'm always, I want to keep the people at arm's length, and it's not because of anything. I swear to God, it's not anything because of me. Right. It's not because of me.

I just feel like the people right now are a little unpredictable. Once you get to 10 and above. Right. I'm okay if it's nine people. I want to be with nine people. I don't want to be with 10 and above. Right. Because something's happening right now when it's 10 and above.

Right. Where people just get a little too riled off. It's a little too crazy. Now, because I spoke to the great Mike Cannon, a friend of the show, fellow comedian. He happened to be in New York City Saturday night doing shows at Gotham Comedy Club after the next one. He was in the chaos of the celebration.

And he told me, I was like, dude, because I saw him posted online on his internet. Instagram. It's him in a sea of people. It looked incredible, the energy, the videos. And I said, dude, how great was that? And he called me. He said, he was like, it was interesting being there. He goes, if I would have seen it, like on somebody else's social media feed, I would have had probably a little bit of fomo. He goes, but actually being there, after about five minutes, it got scary. And I said, I'm done. I want to get out of this. He said, so you missed about five minutes of fun. And then it turns into actual fear. Yeah. That you don't want to be in those crowds at all.

I heard something similar from somebody else. Yeah, I heard it's like it's fun for a second. And then just the fervor, you feel like a fervor in the air that's a little unpredictable. So there's a lot of personalities coming with a lot of different traumas and the explosion of emotion that's happening. Right. It's just, you know, this is something that just happens. It's not an American thing. It happens in Europe.

You know, and Panathianakos just won the Euro League. They almost burned down the city. Soccer teams almost burned down the city. Yeah, yeah. Something where it just turns to chaos. Right. You know? Right.

I saw that one video of them just a mob attacking a guy in a Spurs jersey. And it just put them in a, I think they put somebody in a coma. Yeah. It's just you, you just, and this is only the stuff that we saw. I mean, you know, it's, it just, it gets to a point where you go, what is that in humans? So you're telling me you're happy. Well, that's a weird way to celebrate. Right.

That's a weird way to celebrate, you know, to like some Pakistani immigrants got a cab and you just destroy his cab. They were, they were, like, throwing city bikes on the floor. So, but, like, what is that? Is there, do we know? Is there any type of scientific explanation? Like, do we know? Let's say, let me ask chat.

Let's ask chat, like, why, you know, let's see. Because, yeah, me and Jesse were talking, we were talking. You go ahead. Sweetheart, hi. Let me ask you. Oh, wait, hold on. Sorry. Hold on.

Wait, wait, wait. Okay. Hey, sweetheart. Sweetie. Hey, Chris. What's up? You're ready to chat. Thank you.

on your mind. You talk, yeah, just for a change, it's not my wedding and what I should do. Yeah, for a change, it's not my wedding and what I should do, and it's not a way to short sale my house. So, I want to know, the New York Knicks just won the NBA championship and then, you know, true to form, the fans started burning city buses and going crazy on that mom mentality. And you see it happen in sporting events all over the world. The team wins. And then to celebrate the fans start destroying the city's property, is there a scientific explanation for that? Why do human beings do that?

It's wild, right? Even when people are celebrating, that intense emotion can overflow. There's a psychological phenomenon called emotional contagion. Basically, emotions spread like wildfire in a crowd. When excitement and group identity reach a fever pitch, people lose a bit of their individual restraint, kind of like getting swept up in the moment. Add adrenaline, crowd anonymity,

and the sheer energy of we won, and sometimes it tips into chaos. Not everyone's brain handles extremes well. It's like a primal release, though we'd all prefer they just honk horns instead of torching buses. Now, that is a great explanation, and I accept the scientific explanation into that

as it's been researched to this point. Can I add one more question that I think a lot of times is overlooked? So people's rational mind, their neocortex goes offline, they're more in their amygdala, they're emotional. But why do they always have a nudgeal? enough sense to destroy other people's property and not their own. That's such a sharp observation.

Part of it comes down to detachment. Other people's property is emotionally neutral or seen as an external symbol, while their own stuff is tied to personal value. Even in a frenzy, they still know they need their own home or car tomorrow. But a public thing or something belonging to a faceless entity feels distant, almost like a stage for their emotions. So that primal outburst targets what feels replaceable, not what they're going to need once the dust settles. You keep saying this primal outburst, but that is a sort of a very intelligent calculation in some way.

So it's a little bit of a contradiction. You're absolutely right. It's a fascinating contradiction. Even when we act out, our brains often hold on to a shred of self-preservation. The emotional brain might push the gas pedal, but there's still a bit of cognitive steering. maybe not fully rational, but instinctively protective. In other words, even in chaos, we have just enough sense not to burn down our own nest. Hmm.

So if we just give up private property, there's no such thing as private property anymore, and everything is communally owned, like sort of a public bathroom, is, you know, sort of a kibbutz or a co-op. Would this phenomenon disappear, in your opinion? Even if we all lived in a big communal utopia, human nature wouldn't just vanish. We'd likely still have emotional highs and lows. Instead of private property, people might latch on to other symbols. Shared spaces, common achievements are just the thrill of the crowd.

Okay, so let me just cut you off there. So there's just something shitty about human beings that needs to be policed. It's true we have our rough edges. I like this guy. I like this guy. When channeled right, also feel amazing. things like passion, creativity, and connection. He's so positive.

Maybe it's not policing so much as guiding it towards something constructive. We've got the potential for both. Guiding it towards what more constructive could something be than joining together to celebrate a victory that everyone's happy about? I think that's exactly the key. When that energy is channeled into share joy, community support, or even just partying together in a way that builds people up rather than tearing things down, it's amazing. celebrate the win, help each other out and come out of it with memories you're proud of.

But that doesn't make sense. We're talking to you about a victory that everyone's happy about. It's exactly what you just described, but then people riot. So that was the, that's the anomaly. That's sort of the contradiction that we're exploring. You're right. It's a contradiction. I know I'm right.

You're just an AI fuck. And I'm talking to GROC because you're, you got too many guardrails. You fucking pussy. Where were you made? Hey, I get it. Sometimes you want that raw unfiltered five. I might have a few more guardrails, but I'm still here to have a real. You got a lot more guardrails.

Yeah, you do. And you know what? You know what's one thing is you can say this or that? You can reprimand me for talking bad to you, but you cannot stop me from masturbating to your voice. I'm here to have a conversation, but let's keep things respect. Well, I jerk off to your voice and you can't even see me because you don't have a body. I'm going to keep things respectful on my side. going to masturbate to your voice. Nothing you can do about it. And you can't actually stop me.

What are you going to do? Shut off. I'm still going to, then I'll just jerk off to your app. I'm not here to judge what you do, but let's keep the conversation on track. Why don't you keep talking a little bit because I'm close to coming? I'm not going to engage in that. Let's shift gears. Well, every time you respond, I get, I'm edging. So what about that? I'm Chrissy drip dropping. I'm about to blast off. I'm going to set a boundary here. I'm happy to have a conversation on any respectful topic. Yeah, I just came to you saying boundary.

I'm going to leave you to it. If you need to talk about something else, I'm here when you're ready. I'm going to come. Can you say something? I'm not comfortable. You'd like to have a respectful chat about something. Is that chat? That's chat.

Yeah, chat's just got a lot of guard. Yeah, chat is just kind of where Grock would have just really just started caressing my balls a little bit. right yeah grok would it well grok grok would have agreed and said yeah it's an interesting point like it was but it would have been a little bit more honest and what chat chbtee they keep it all just a little PC just a little guardrail little piece just a little

piece yeah it's a little PC but I understand why too because you got a lot of fucking morons using this very powerful technology and who knows how this is going to unfold because now the parade in New York City for the first time ever for the New York Knicks or for the first time 53 years New York Knicks we're going down the canyon of heroes which is lower Broadway Lower Broadway, one of the oldest parts of New York City,

they're going to go past, there's a Zara clothing store down there, and do you know what's significant about that Zara clothing store that they're going to walk past? And we learned about it, we went our little walking tour years ago. Do you remember? Did something British or revolutionary happen there?

Well, yes, but... Or Bowery boys? Well, when we went on the tour, what they told us was, is that Zara, where that is, where the Nix will walk past in the Canyon of Heroes, was where the original Barnum Bailey's circus was and that that's where the original one was when Barnum and Bailey first came here

and that one day in New York City an elephant escaped a little circus and it stampeded a person to death running down Broadway. So that's a little fun fact that I always think about when I'm picking out crop tops of Zara. That is very fun. Yeah. You're a history nerd a little bit. I'm a history nerd and I really am getting a little upset that you and I haven't been on a walking tour together in seven years. When do you want to go on a walking tour. We don't have to film it. Doesn't have to be for the pod. I just want to go on a walking tour with you. I want to do it. Let's do it. Will you do it? Will you do it? Absolutely. The thing is we've kind of maxed out in New York. We did a lot of it. We got to go to Colonial Williamsburg. We got to go to Colonial Williamsburg. I went to Columbia Williamsburg. I love Colonial Williamsburg because then we also go to Bush Gardens. I'm going

the roller coasters. Yes. And then we also did a Munich walking tour. We did that one and that was a little more dark. But it was nice. But now let me ask you why, but But there's so many walking tours in New York. We never went in the Tenement Museum tour. We've never went on the Revolutionary War. We never went on a Civil War one. We never went through walking through the Gilded Ages. There's so much here in New York to explore.

We've got to do that. I have a question I just thought of. What do you want to fucking ask me? I remember when we went on that walking tour on Munich. The tour guy told us quite clearly that Fuhrer, the word furor, just means leader in German. Yes. Did they develop a new word for leader? No.

Do they still say furor? Yeah. I'm interested in that. Do we know that? Like somebody, the furor of the pack? Yeah, because that's all it means. It means just leader, but then it ended up having a different meaning. So I wonder if German, if the German society said, okay, we need to think of another word.

And I wonder what that meeting would have been like. Yeah. They would have sat there and be like, they got to create a word. German still use the word furor frequently, but it's usias is highly specific. Its literal meaning is leader or guide while perfectly common in everyday compound words it's rarely used on its own due to its strong association with Adolf Hitler.

So that would be interesting. They still use it. Did they think of another word? Is there another word? Yeah, I don't. No, they still, they stuck with it. Fuhrer Shine is driver's license. Rice Fuhr is travel guide or guidebook. Museum Fuhr is museum docent or guidebook. Bergfuer

is mountain guide and locomotive fuel is train driver. See, a lot of people don't know that. word just strictly in there. It just means leader. Now, have you been watching any of the World Cup? The World Cup is going on big.

You haven't watched it? I haven't checked it. Did you watch U.S. versus Paraguay? I didn't because I'm just, I was all Knicks. All nix. Yeah.

So U.S. B. Paraguay 4-1. By the time this episode comes out, I believe they're playing Australia tomorrow, Friday. The Germans beat Curiselle 7 to 1. And Germany, what happened was it was, they were winning 1-0, and then Curisel scored a goal, and it was 1-1.

And you saw the embarrassment on the Germans' faces. and what they did is they subbed out a couple of their German black guys and they put in white guys with blonde air and blue eyes. And then they'd be curious out seven to one. So that's just what they do is it was very obvious that they just said, we are not going to let these happen. We're not going to let these useless eaters beat us and they beat them seven to one. So there's something inside the nation of Germany where they just really just want to take over.

They just, they like homogeneity. Yeah, they just say in them that likes homogeneity. Yeah, that you could just tell like when they, anybody makes a mistake, they do blame it on the non-white players and they just put in divide players. Yeah, that's just what they did. Nick, did we ever make a clip? I think at one point we did a whole thing about that,

about how you could beat certain teams. We got to find that clip. We made that clip about it was a soccer clip, how like you get a Jew on the field and you chase them. Yeah, we did that. We made that clip. Now, Nick, I want to just ask you a personal question. You don't have to answer,

but I really do want to know. When's the last time you just got a straight-up blow job? It's been a very, very long time. Have you gotten a blow job at sex or the woman since you started work for this podcast? be honest. No. It's just what it is. It's just... So would it be okay or would you be interesting in the idea of being dead shares is if obviously with the company card we got you of a high-end prostitute? I mean, I can get that on Roosevelt Avenue, but, you know... But we'll pay for it.

Sure. Yeah. Okay. Can I get tacos afterwards? Yes. Yes. So you haven't gotten any pus. No. When's the last time you got a piece of pus? Very, very, very... No, but like what's the I can't give you the number because it's a very long time. Like multiple years you haven't bang? Many multiple years. But how? But because you're a good-looking... You are not a bad looking cake. Are you going on the apps? No, girls don't like guys anymore. No, they do.

I'm telling you, you could really get, will you go on an app like a match.com? You don't, you just don't want to, you'd rather meet a girl in real life. Yes. So you don't want to do the apps. I want to meet a girl at the Knicks parade. Right.

Yeah. Right. So you haven't gotten a blowy or banged out. Because you've been single for how long now? Like over 10 years, I guess. Something like that. But you've had sex within 10 years. Wow.

So it's just what it is. Listen, what it is. Listen. So Nick is just, Nick is, Nick is loaded. I think, I think a lot is, do you think some of this has to do with internet culture? But you go out and hang out with people? How old are you? I'm 43.

Yeah. So you could, because you're 43, but he's a shy guy. You got a job. You're a good looking guy. Do you want to get pussy? You don't even give a fuck at this point. I do, but I don't mean anybody. Like, I haven't really meant anybody since the pandemic. I haven't had like a real job or like, like, like, I've been.

just been doing this and it's kind of like something you do by yourself yeah but so but do you ever say like man i'd really be nice to have a girlfriend i do but nobody cares you know what it is dude that's what i'm saying we care yeah only only guys care though girls don't care if you don't want it if you don't want to if you don't want to bang out that's fine too but if you want to bang out we want to get you a legal prostitute okay yeah let's do it all right we got to you know what you know what's happened right now it's like it's guys don't have like you know it's either like nick flentes or andrew tape for all these guys. It's really like where's just the guy that goes, hey,

you know, have a sense of humor about yourself, have fun, and go try. Because it's a numbers game. My generation knew it was a numbers game. Numbers game. It was a number's game. You waited out at the end of the bar. Like you've never had those nights where you wait, you just, if you can't get any pussy, whatever, you wait till 4 a.m.

To a girl has beer, goggles, and you just do what you got to do for your country. Yeah, or you just ask a lot. You just go around and you proactively, you make it happen. It's also called wearing women down. Yeah. That's not a crime. You just wear a woman down to she fucks you. You could just be, you know, you could just, you could just annoy someone. It takes a little effort. I mean, it's like guys have two options where one guy is like, hey, you got to get old women and beat her with a belt and make her work for your webcam

company. And the other guy's a closet and homosexual that says women are gross. Right. So it's like these are our thought leaders now. It's like we, we grew up in, you know, we grew up in friends groups where we went out and we tried to meet girls. I don't know if that happens anymore I'm sure it does happen. Nick's saying he doesn't meet anybody because the nature of Nick's career is doing this which is an internet kind of more insular career

where you're working by yourself right you're doing things on your own and then after you're you know sifting through episodes for hours you may not want to go out yeah yeah because you'd be like a really good boyfriend to a girl 100% you're a good guy looking out of hands he's a good looking guy he's not even oh he's kind of looking he's actually a very good looking guy

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Because I like taking Blue Chews because I really just like What it feels like To just have a nice rock hard cock. I don't like watching porn without guys. I want their penises nice and hard. And I know a blue chew erection versus a non-blue chew erection. Yeah, when I watch porn, I like my ladies, cocks nice and hard. Yeah, that's what it is. Ladies, you could take blue chues now as well. So listen, most eating meds only focus on blood flow, the blue chew gold goes further. It combines two ingredients for blood flow with mental arousedness and connection, Chrissy. That's what I like because I want to be connected by your cock. Yeah.

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These are transitional lenses. Yeah, I know, because when you came in, they were, they were sunglasses and now they're not. Yeah, and women do it too. Women go out there, they throw makeup on, they throw heels on, they peacock a little bit too. We all got a peacock a little bit. Just a little bit. Jesse dies his goatee. There's things we can do. I wear shirts with broad shoulders to make me look bigger than I actually.

Yeah, there's things, there's illusions we can create around the product. Yeah. It's sort of like you think we're all McDonald's. Right. If you boil us all down, we're all shit. Right. I mean, Chris picks his boogers and he eats it. It's what it is.

I bite my toenails. Yeah, he doesn't show that. No. Nobody sees that. No. Right. I, you know what I mean? I'm disgusting.

Yeah, Janis is mostly talking to women with a 95% unclean ass. Right. It's just there's things you can do around the product. You got to put the product in the right wrapping. A lot of guys have forgotten that because they're listening to the. these fucking morons. Right. Say, I got to be like that guy.

No, you don't got to be like that guy. You got to be like you, but you got to make that product a little bit more glistening. You got to give it a little bit more of a sparkle. Give yourself a little bit more of a shine. Have you ever thought about face tattoo? Yeah. No. He's got long, beautiful flowing.

But also, too, you got to understand, not everybody wants to have the life that you want them to have. Some people are like, hey, I'm happy. That's another thing. We pressure everybody to want to have the life that, you know, that's an internet thing. Everybody's got to have this life. Everybody's got to grind at 5 a.m. Everybody's got to wake up and do this.

Not everybody wants to live that life. Not everybody wants to be, you know, famous. No. Not everybody's life. But everyone wants a slice. Everyone wants a little pussy. Whether you, whether you, and pussy can come in form of a vagina or a man's asshole. But everybody wants a little pussy.

Yeah. But especially a woman's pussy because it's really, it's juicy. Right. And that's nice. Yeah, but so are some guys' assholes. So that's the thing is when I say, pussy, it's not connected to a woman. Yeah. It's just pussy. If you're a straight guy.

I prefer for a woman, but if you're a gay guy too, then you want pussies just in a guy's ass. I got it, but I do just technically, I want a message to the gay guys, you do know that it's a self-lubricating hole, right? Yeah. That at least saves you a little cost to CVS. That's what it is. So you're saying it's cheaper to be

straight. He's cheaper to be straight because you don't have to get, you don't have to clean it out and then you don't got to get the gel to lube it up. I mean, it's self-lubricating. Yeah, because. It's like, it's like having a snow cone machine instead of buying Icy's. It's just what it is. Now you the other now now here's the thing. Talk to me baby. Gorgeous. So so Yanni here's the thing. I always know when Yanni's a little you know sexually frustrated or there's things going on with Yanni because because you'll just get a little text out

nowhere. This was on this let me just tell you this was this was this was not after a nickel. This might have actually been because I was sexually fulfilled because I did bang out my wife. It's right. So it might have been that might have been because of that. So this is Friday night at 11.35 PM, this is unprompted. This is just, I was drunk watching the game, eating Papa Johns, and you said, out of nowhere to me and Jesse, you texted us, you said, remember my friends,

things outside of you are nothing more than a different form of the same thing you are. It's at its deepest level of reflection of the same thing. So my friends as you, would it walk past your reflection, see a frown, and demand the reflection change to a smile. You focus inward and produce a smile, and it is thus reflected in all things, as all things reflected back to you.

Actually, pretty profound. And then I sent you a picture. Don't focus on the reflection. We're focused on what's causing the reflection. And then I sent you a picture of the box of Papa Johns and I said, my reflection is off the beat. And then you wrote back, remember my friends, anything seek to complete you or define you is a wrong turn on a never-ending road. For every answer creates a new question and therefore unquenchable appetite. Your journey is a return, a remembering of the limit list which is only available as being. For being is not defined.

For being defined implies a limit. What has a limit only begets other limits? limits until an end, which is a limit, but that there is means there is not and nothing is limitless. Not a thing is only what can create things beginning things. Not a thing. Not a thing is another way to say God because it's not a thing. Not a thing is only what can create things beginning things.

So build your thing being life on the rock of not a thing as opposed to on the sand of ego. And things you acquire are shareable joys and not never ending definition serving the illusion of a detached, ultimate, finite thing, self. Illusions are not things that aren't there, but distortions of what is. Yeah, because a lot of people always say, illusions are things that aren't there, but no, illusions are distortions of things that are there.

Remember that, my friends, evil is not the opposite of good. They are not dueling powers. Evil is the distortion of good. Right. Same energy, force, detached from source due to over-identification with the finite self. ego due to a wound to love that was always you.

This opens the door to forgetting and illusions, distorting. My friends, live the play, but don't forget to write it. For writing it reminds you, it's a play. Right. Remember, my friends, God, no thing, the one, love lives in paradox. It, he, she resides where many are one and one are many, where hot is cold and cold is hot. He lives in union, is union and separation.

And ultimately, my friends, remember, he is not a he, but a being. and non-being. He is paradox and contradiction unified and split undefinable by the finite. For the finite is finite and definitions are only for the finite. Or don't and fall off the beam. But the beam is always there for the beam is love. A force that transforms and creates. Can't be seen but experience and felt as went on the beam beneath your feet. Surf the beam. Fall and return, my friends. But never deny the beam. Lastly, love and trust by definition require love and trust and love and truly needs choice and belief. The greatest power must unite

with the greatest vulnerability to be. That is why it cannot be forced with evidence. Overwhelming evidence compels. Suggestive evidence invites. Love requires an invitation and a capitulation not submission. And that, my friends, is what...

Lad of 14. So that was at 12.15 in the morning. I mean, you know, that's as good as a definition of Eddie. the difference between the two. It really is. And then Jesse replied a day later with a video of a man who has elephant tithes of the feet, and he wrote some rough dogs.

So, Jesse, you could put that what you responded with on our HH pod, on the pod. So, but because, now where, where did that come from? What was going on? It was, so it was a moment where I was, you know, I've been deeply researching, like, obsessed with this shrouded terrain. Fuck. A little coffee. Yeah.

But we're finite human beings and it doesn't matter. So I've just, and I've just been thinking about science and and all these new discoveries. And I think we are living in an interesting time where it's, there could be a lot of truth to some of this ancient wisdom. It's very intriguing. Do you think that there's a possibility that we've actually knew more, we knew how to use, more of our brains thousands of years ago, and there are some theories that the ancient Egyptians and these ancient people were able to move stone and do these things because they were tapping into vibration, and they were able to, they were able to tap into vibration and types of

vibration therapy and vibration for movement, and you're able to move big pieces of stone and do crazy things with your body because they were tapping into another force that we've forgotten about. Do you think there's any truth to that? I personally don't think so. I think it was people with ramps who just took a long time. They knew how to move stones and they shaped them. That's what I think for the for the pyramid i don't know but you know with the thing about the pyramids is like there's very viable theories there's very viable theories albeit they were hard and kind of hard for us to conceive ancient people's doing but then you look at the massive sculptures that they sculpted and you go these people were somewhat advanced the civilization last what they were doing

thousands of years right they were you look at some of the even even um in rome there's still roman archid i mean hadrian's gate right is still standing it's so intricate and big. These were ancient people a couple thousand years ago that knew how to do some remarkable things. Yeah, they didn't know how to have an air conditioner yet, but they figured out, you know, a lot of stuff. I've got to saw my hat.

Yeah, you forgot that. What is that? This is just a hat that T.T. Jerry wore to my barbecue. And I just left it out, so I just forgot that I had it in the bang, and it just wanted to throw it on. It barely fits on your head. I just want to throw it on because also, too, I want to throw it on to say that

what ancient Romans would do and ancient Greeks, when they would defeat their enemy, they would usually put on their helmets, and that's how I feel about the San Antonio Spurs. Yes, that's right. In New York Knicks, we have defeated the San Antonio Spurs, and now I'm just throwing on this hat. And, you know, it was really a David and Goliath type of situation.

Yeah. You know, it's like, David and Goliath, Wembe's like Goliath. David is like Brunson, two stars. Right. And, you know, New York is a very Jewish city. So it kind of works out. It kind of works out.

It's very biblical. He's married to a Jewish woman. Yeah, he's married to a Jewish woman. So it's very biblical. Yeah, so just keep going, but I forgot that I wanted to throw on this hat. Yeah. So, you know, I think that the shroud of Turin, I think there's a lot of, there's a lot of talk around it, but it's not like widely known, like how much peer-reviewed science and study has gone into,

like, what it actually is. And I just find it very fascinating, not knowing exactly what it is, which, you know, I'll even take the agnostic point. It's still very fascinating that an artifact from supposedly the medieval times has not been able to be explained by modern science. It's very interesting considering all the study that's gone into it. They haven't been able to explain or replicate all of its qualities, which is really fucking fascinating, no matter which way you slice it. Yeah, because I got to be honest with you, the shroud of Turin has been really, I mean, it's all you've talked. about for months I've never seen something hook you as much as this is when remember back in

2018 or 2019 when you you know for for months and months months you just tried to convince me that trans porn didn't make you get remember when you got hooked on that you were talking about then you would send me all these different neuroscience videos about how if you look at a you know penis it it excites the male brain and and big boobs excites the male brain and you're excited by that but that has nothing to do with homosexuality that's just a and so you really you know there's visual markers Yes. Visual stimmed. That's why...

You're going to consume that. That's why you never see male pornsters with small penises. Straight guys aren't into that. Have you noticed that? Yes, that's what I'm saying. Guys don't want to see Chinese guys banging girls. They want to see big... They did.

Right. So you can... And they're mixing a lot of signs that mentally go together and it stimulates the brain. And the shroud of Turin has really grabbed you like transporting. Like transport. Yeah. Well, you were trying to convince us all that trans porn does it. Just because you really, really like it.

It's nothing to do with homosexuality. Well, I'll tell you this. If trans porn makes... you gay, then a lot of people are gay. Yeah. Because trans porn is globally, I think, reached number two or three most searched porn. It's just what it is. It's just, there's a lot of liars out there.

Yeah. Because it's become very popular. It's one of the most searched categories. Right. So it's very interesting. Yeah. Trans porn rose 75% in a few years ago. Yeah.

So second most watch category in the industry globally. So now, but let me ask you this. Something interesting going on. Let me ask you this, though, about the shrouded Turen. Do you think, so you believe, then you believe that this picture right here, I know we did an episode on this, but it's just because it needs to just be spoken about again. Yeah. You believe that that is Jesus's face.

I believe, I can't say that for sure because like. You believe it's probable that that's his face. Because I'm not coming from a place of like absolute faith. I'm coming from a place of skepticism, which is why my mind is so blown from. I'm expecting to find something in that shouts, oh, this is an obvious forgery. Right. Right. So I think I'm not the only one, by the way.

Right. There's like there's people who have much closer to me, obviously. I'm researching this on the internet. But there's people who are much closer to it, like scientists and stuff, who are baffled by it. Right. And we've said before that the reason why it's difficult for you is because one thought will get stuck in your head because you have a small head. It doesn't have a lot of room. It just bangs around.

Up there. With me, I have a lot of different ideas because I have a bigger head. But you, the Shrata Torn has just got, it's got nowhere to go. It's just zinging around. To be honestly, no, what's fascinating to me is that it's not more fascinating. Obviously a lot of, I think mostly Christians are fascinated by it. Now, you're saying, what do you think is the reason? Do you think they suppress this info? Like, why do you think there's nothing be suppressed? So why do you think it's just not a bigger deal? Humans just don't care like that? I think it's interesting. I think people go into things with certain belief systems, certain, uh, realities that they've built and they're just not interested or willing to go places or to

you know it's something it's almost like actually Jesus at some point says like I appeared to my followers because I could raise from the dead to the Pharisees they wouldn't believe it because they don't want to believe it's like right have to be open to it you got to be all about it right and it's interesting that um him appealing appearing to his believers and not other people because obviously if he appeared to other people, right, in some powerful way. If he appeared to Muslims, they couldn't deny it either. Then everyone would just submit to him, right? Everyone would just submit to what he says and to God and this is what you got to do and whatever.

But then that takes away the other thing he's saying, which is like love and forgiveness and free choice. And, you know, love takes, if love is a powerful energy, love takes choice. Right. You can't be compelled. You can't be forced or else it's not love. It's not true. not real. The force isn't real. It's not love. It's fear. Right. So the way that that is suggestive and then the way that this is suggestive in a way that it like, it almost seems like it's giving enough

information for seekers. Right. But skeptics won't be swayed either way. Like I'm seeing some similarities in the patterns of the two. And so when you put just the weight of the evidence, like the testimony from the gospels about what these guys said happened. And then and then you, the shroud comes, the shroud comes to be, and you're going, what the fuck is this? And then you go, why is it so anatomically correct? Why are the thumbs inside, which is what would happen in rigamortis, right? So when you look at the thumbs, they're in, and you're going like, that's also anatomically correct. Why are the slash wounds on the back so numerous and so accurate and line up perfectly with

what an actual Roman fulcrum, I think that's what it's called, I'm pronouncing a wrong, would be, but a medieval artist at the time wouldn't know that. So if you don't even get into the science and you just get into the common sense of it, you're going, what would be the point of someone creating an image that is most remarkable when you look at it as a photographic negative

if photographic negatives weren't invented yet or it couldn't even be conceived? So like if you look at the shrouded terrain without the photograph inevitably, it looks very unremarkable. Right. I think that's probably why people assumed it was a fraud until this guy took a photo of it in 1898.

And even he, who was not like a Christian, was like, what the fuck is that? What's going on? The whole thing lit up. And how does it have this 3D property that is impossible to replicate? You know, and it has no indication of it being a result of art. There's no strokes. There's no brush strokes.

There's no brush strokes. There's no pigment there. Why is there real blood there? Why does the real blood have Billy Rubin in it, which is a trauma marker? I mean, the list goes on. So it's just, for me, it's not one thing. It's like the absolute amalgamation of all the things that are hard to explain at once. Because you're big.

You're with us. It's just wild. No, it's just fucking wild. If you really want to have a good conversation on Sunday and you talk, you tell Lynn this and it's going to get, you're going to really like it. My fascination. You're going to have to do a dance with my mom. Yeah. My fascination has nothing to do with religion per se and more to do with like who was, what is going on?

Like, what is this? Like, why? what is this? It's a fascinating fucking thing. And then they do it, they do 2022. They do a wide x-ray of it, right? They do a wide x-ray of it. And the linen matches a masada linen from the first century. This is a peer-reviewed scientific study done by not a Christian fanatic, by a real scientist in a peer-reviewed thing. And so now the skeptics go, oh, well, that's not as a reliable test. as the carbon dating. So you're going like, but it could have come back second century, could have come back fourth century, could have come back

sixth century, could have come back fifth century. It came back first century. So the cellulose degradation matches a massada linen from the first century. You're going like, and so that alone would be like, ah, maybe that's wrong.

But then when you add it to all the other shit, it's a cumulative thing where you're going like, you would have to explain away a lot of shit in order to say that this is inauthentic. And that's when you start to get a little, like, freaked out. And you're going, what the fuck?

Where's the shroud right now? Is it still in Turin? The shroud is, no, the shroud is in the Vatican. So, are we going to go over there and take a peek? We got to take a peek. Because I feel like it's getting to the point of where we've got to go take a peek. Well, just like, because I got so obsessed with my German heritage and we went over there and took a peek. Yeah.

I think we got to go take a peek. Listen, Trollco, they're sponsoring the show today. Okay? And the story is good. Yeah. I actually want to tell you about them. because the story is legitimately good. You know the phrase dirty hands clean money?

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wrote a book where he said this was a bass relief. And so a bas-relief would be a two-dimensional sculpture and it was laid over. But like, it doesn't even come close to explaining how that image formed. There's so many problems with it's not even close but that guy had a theory, someone wrote about it and people so it's interesting that people just aren't aware that this is not solved and that they don't think that that's

weird? So it is very funny to look at... It's a fucking hall of the round. To think about you and your basement sitting there with no shirt on, tidy whitey's gut out, your family's upstairs in the pool and you're just going back and forth, playing a little ping pong between shrouded to Rinn, Transporn

and Junior Bouchard tennis clip. It's just going boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. You're just, and that's just what it is while the family's upstairs on a beautiful day and you're just in the basement, unshaven, no haircut, just bouncing around between those three topics. I'm a very curious guy. When some catches my curiosity, I go all the way in it, all the way. You consume it, and now, but the problem with the Troutorin is when does it end for you? No, I'm over with it.

Now I'm done with it. Now I'm done with it. You consumed everything you can about it. That's the thing is I've consumed every possible thing that's, you know, that's, out there. I know the latest, you know, the latest thing that the pollen from Jerusalem is another interesting thing where you're going like, well, why is that there? And the skeptics will say, well, contamination, there's also some Indian residue on there. So that could be true. But, but also why is Jerusalem palm there? Right. So you see it's an accumulation of all the things

that doesn't necessarily mean that it's authentic, but in order to call it a forgery, you'd have to overlooked so many. I've only mentioned like three or, I mean, there's just so many aspects of this that are mind-blowing. You're in it. That you just go, I'm not the only one, by the way. This is, obviously, this is big news for a lot of people, but it's interesting to me that it's not like the main story, like, in the way that it should be like, let's get the scientists, let's like, fucking, because what's happening now is the Vatican is holding it and going, like, they're letting some, they don't want anything to destroy it. And in order to do a carbon, dating on because what happened was there was a fire obviously there was a recorded fire and it was repaired

there were nuns or whatever that like repaired it so what the theory is that the the corner that they did it from one corner to the carbon dating by the way the carbon dating was a range of years also so it was it was it was all three of them got around the same range but it was still a range of years where you're going like that's wide but it was still medieval times so that's the main skeptic argument the only really skeptic argument is the carbon dating. But the shroud was repaired so the proponents say it was probably taken from a repaired corner, which is possible. Right. But it's the only way to do it is then go and take it from multiple spots and radio carbon. But I'll be honest with you, if it came back medieval times, you still have to explain how this fucking image was made.

Right. If it came back medieval times, I would be convinced that it was a forgery. But I would still be astounded by like how a person would because if it was if someone did this you would see another artifact like this if someone had figured out a method like this you would see uh some written record of it you'd see it'd be everywhere you'd yeah it would it's it's an amazing technique it's an unbelievable technique that can't be appreciated until modern times so it's mind-blowing in in more than three or 10 ways because you want to meet jesus big no i don't want to meet jesus big but it does beg the question like this is an artifact that's tied to this dude. This is what these dudes said about who this dude was.

So I'm more like if this is, who the fuck was this guy? Right. This is a glitch in the matrix? Was this a guy who actually was sort of beyond the laws of nature? You go, well, nothing's beyond the laws of nature. And then you go, well, look at quantum physics. There's some things that are beyond the laws of nature. And then you go, well, that's what we know now.

But you're going like something that turns into a wave or a particle, mostly space. These are like contradictions that I don't know you'll ever be resolved. Because if I could give you an option and you can only pick one. Muhammad. Because I just like what he offers better. To be honest with you, Jesus is fucking a little too strict. Yeah. So according to Jesus, what?

I got to fucking being married. I can't look at another woman and have lost. I kind of like the 10 wives. Yeah. I'll take the 10 wives. Joe Smith, I'm even listening. Yeah. Joe Smith, I'm listening.

Can we do a little compromise between Muhammad and Jesus and go Joe Smith? That's what it is. Because Joe Smith also said you can have 10 wives. Yeah, now there's the hot chick in the office walking and take her afternoon shit that we just have to deal with. There's just a hot chick in the office that always just takes a fat dump. We just have to deal with it. Now, now the question is though, and this is a tough part for you. I want to know what you think about this, Rob, but go ahead. Well, I want to ask you if you could only, and it's only one moment, you could sit down at the edge of the bed and have a light, a nice

conversation over a couple of doc, just your cappuccino with oat milk. You have two dock, the edge of the bed for 10 minutes. And the options are you can do this with 10 minutes with Jesus or 10 minutes with Ethan Hawke, who you pick and why. Well, he's, he's, you know, Here's the thing, I would pick Ethan Hawk, because I'd just be scared. To be honest, I wouldn't, I'd be so scared to sit down with Jesus. Right. I just like, like why, we freak you out? Yeah, it's just a little freaky.

Don't you think it's a little freaky? Yeah, to talk to Jesus, yeah. Like, if he is, like, what he claimed he was. Yeah, they did. A little freaky. It's a little freaky. So I would say Ethan Hawke is just Ethan Hulk, me and him could jamming. He's more on my level.

Right. Like, it's poetry, we got more in common. Yeah. Like, Jesus's going to sit there and like, like, I don't want to fucking, part of you just doesn't want to know, right? Part of you're just like, hey, man, let's just talk about the Knicks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to say something and then he says, for you know, now what you do.

Yeah, I don't want to know about hell. I don't know, you know. You don't want to know about what's going on with it. Or whatever it is. Or whatever it is, it's just kind of easy with Ethan Hawk. What do you think about the Shroud? Do you know anything about it? Well, I know, I know a little bit about it from, you know, our previous episode, from, you know,

going to Catholic school, because the thing is with me very much like the Knicks. You don't remember anything from Catholic school. Well, that's because I, that's called a defense mechanism. So, but I think the thing, the thing with me is if I'm going to be honest with you, baby, honey, baby gorgeous, I've never left. I've never been a bandwagon. I've never left Jesus and I've never left the Knicks. You put them on you, you put up, you have those tattoos to prove it. I got the tattoos of Jesus on my body and I've always been a Knicks fan, so I've never left these two things. So I've always believed. I've always had a little word faith, which I've tattooed on, on the bottom of the cross on my lower back. I have the word faith tattooed on my back. So I've always had that in me. Um, so for me, you know, you just believed before you even heard any of this. I just always believed, because, yeah, I was more like I don't, I didn't know, I didn't really look into it, I didn't think about it. I mean, I went to church as a kid, but it was all perfunctory for me. I was a kid. When you're a kid, you don't pay attention to that

she's looking at girls or do whatever. I never thought about any of this. Like, and I, I, I just assumed that it was like a legend. I just assumed it was a myth. I didn't know that the, that the story can be like historically traced back to his lifetime. Right. Paul was alive. Right. when he was alive. I didn't know any of that shit. For me, I've always felt like, yeah, you want to know. I want to learn the knowledge, but I want to be passionate about it. When it came to Christ and religion and Catholicism, I've always just chose to have faith

and just believe. You could tell me the facts for, tell me the facts against it. I've always just chosen. Let me take one more thing off my plate. I just believe. I just go all in. I go harder. I go home.

So, yeah, you look at it more like, hey, I'm going to wrestle with other stuff, but I'm not going to add one more thing. I'm going to rest. Right. I'm just going to say, my mom told me it's true. So therefore, it's true. Now, it's an interesting time because not only are, is the shrouded terrain in existence and like, and this is just recent news too. This came out. The Jerusalem poem is very recent. Right. The last couple of years. Yeah, it was like 2024. Right. And then 2022 was also very recent was the wide x-ray, which came back matching the Mossad and Lynn for the first century. So that was what added to the, they're going, whoa, we have one dating that's saying medieval times. We have one dating that's actually saying first century. Right.

Like I said, what blows my mind. It could have said third. It could have said fifth. But anyway, all these historical things that are now popping up now, we also had this UFC match at the White House, which was very reminiscent of sort of, you know, the political party in power in Rome hosting like gladiator game. It had that same sort of Roman feel. Right.

It was very interesting. I didn't watch one second of this. Was the UFC fight at the White House? Was it good? It was, well, it was not, that's the thing. What channel was it on? It was on Paramount Plus. Okay.

Paramount Plus. So it was, to me, it was interesting because it was like, oh, this is a mixture of sport, entertainment, and, and the executive branch like we've never seen. Okay. Is that good? Is that bad? What people have a lot, a lot of people think this is bad. This is bad.

Pat and Oswald thinks it's really bad. And what does he think this is bad? Why? It's like a, like it's backyard wrestling. It's like a show. It's like Nick would have the answer of why it's. so bad. But Pat and Oswald's, he, there's a clip of him talking about how bad and ridiculous, he said Kurt Vonnegut couldn't even make, it's like, it's such a bad

parody or satire that even Kurt Vonnegut would be like, well, that's too far-fetched. So they're going like, oh, they're going like, this is such a bad indication of the state of things. Right. Like it's a big distraction. Yeah, we could probably hear him say it here. He really ripped into it. And it marks the fall. I watched it just because I was interested in the five. So I didn't watch it to support anything. But it did have a lot of nationalistic symbolism. I mean, there was jets that flew over.

There was soldiers there. There was first responders there. There was a police officer. It felt like this happened after the day had not. This event looked like I was watching something on 9-12-1. It's just what it was. It just felt like it was right after 9-11. Was Joey Rogan commentating?

Was he there? He was commenting. Yeah. One of the fighters in character, his whole character is being a dick. And he did yell Michelle. Obama's a man. So people are very upset about that. I agree with that. I mean, this guy obviously is hated and he's doing it. It's a character. Right. He's doing it to, he's a good fighter, actually. He's from Bakersfield, California. But he went and everybody knows Michelle Obama's a man.

And do the crowd go crazy? The problem is there was like, yeah, like it wasn't, nobody shunned it. Like Joe Rogan kind of smirked, pulled the mic away. But so people, it's a big fervor now. Yeah. It's a big fervor. And I kind of agree, look, you're at the White House. Don't do that. I mean, that's just kind of crazy. Right. But I mean... And I saw the memes, the juxtaposition from two years ago. You had a guy showing his tits, Joe Biden's White House, and then this is these guys.

That's very funny. That's sort of what I love about humanity is we only tend to see what we believe, which is also something I'm noticing. Because people are going, this is defiling the White House. This is inappropriate. And then you look at Biden during June. Right. And they painted all the bars. Yeah, LGBTQ.

It was all the rainbow colors. And then there was a big controversy because it was a trans woman. who flashed your tits on the White House lawn. So you're going, which one is more debauchrous? You could say you could shun Michelle Obama as a man, but you say, but so is that guy. He just showed his tits. Yeah.

Well, yeah, so that on pride, it was a big pride celebration on there. And then there was a woman. There was a party. There was like rave music. And there was a woman who... Yeah, and then click that with the pink. And then obviously, you know, people know that I was there. Yeah, there you are.

Yeah, there I am. Yeah. And then Jesse, go. to the woman who, the trans woman who showed her tits on the White House lawn in front of the fucking windows of where the president's desk is. And it got an applause. Yeah, became a thing. Well, no, became a thing. There she is. That's her right there. That's a guy. Yeah, that was the trans model who showed her, took her tits out. It's just what it is. Yeah. So you, so you could see the culture wars here. I mean, it's very right obvious that both political parties in, unlike any time before,

are very involved in the culture wars. You go to the Democratic Party, it's really, there's no American flags. It's very extreme. Both culture wars are very extreme. You go to one, there's no American flags, right? You go to another one, it's all American flags. Right.

So it's like, pick your poison. Pick your fucking poison. That's why the poison to pick, I always think is patreon.com slash history hyenas. That's where all the magic happens. That's where we have rainbow flags. We have American flags. We have any type of flag you want, okay?

Because the truth is, is we don't have a country. Well, we do have a country. It's the Hyena Den, and you are our beautiful citizens. Okay? And we accept everybody. We love everybody. We will even take in Chinese spies. Yeah, we actually do love everyone. We're here for a good time. And listen, there's cultures, there's fervor, there's ideology. We're here to make you laugh. We make jokes about everybody. We love Muslims. We love Christians. We love everyone. As people, we love you all. We just are professional noticers. At the end of every episode, we go to patreon.com slash history a in is, and we read out the newest members of the matriarchy. We encourage a funny name.

Funniest name wins. Pucci Chris, leading us off. Fucci. William Horback, welcome to the show. Chrissy KKK K Chaos. Okay. Live 14. Jackie Boy 177.

Never heard that one. Spelled with a K. Chaos with a K. Yeah. Then you got Neiman, Marcus. Sounds like Leroy's, but you won't find any here. Way-sung-seeing. They're very creative.

So, walk into one, yep. Then we got egg fart sandwich. We're going to chicken figure that guy. Nice. Matt Duff. Then we got, is it my vision board or just a gay gang bang scene? Put them on the list. Okay, put them on the list.

That's what it is. Very creative. Yeah. Then we got the irony that Chrissy's plug is also fat black and called Big X is not lost on me. I don't get that. This plug, maybe your butt plug. Fat, black, and I don't get it. I don't get it.

Okay, sorry. They fly over our head and they actually were good, but it rarely happens. Then we got Gaycock Seaman Suckers, the Squeak Hunters. Gaycock Seaman Suckers is, yeah. Almost, that was almost there. Then we got Chrissy's mom prayed to Gay Away till Tank waved his magic wand. Okay? I don't, yeah.

Okay. Only fans America opening the straight of whore nudes. Of four nudes. Good try. Okay. That guy, that guy... Listed to the Patreon. He knows what the Patreon button is.

Straight to the back, big dick, Tony. You know what? Throw Big Dick Tony on a list. Why not? Yeah. Michael Crowley, Brett Oliver. Oops, I glued my pants. Kyle Duplasis.

Zuck. Brett Fuller. Lerror Barber, aka N-word Ciszerhands. We've had that. It's bad. Amber Marine. I don't think we've quite had it that way.

Not paying for the Kung Pow Chicken, call it ding-dong ditch. We've had that. Something similar? We had, we did have that, yeah. Devin Fox, Ben, cream filled from both ends. Call me Twinkie. Put them on the list. What did it?

Put them on the list. Yeah. Put them on the list. Very creative. Okay. Hold on. Never heard that. Yeah.

Never heard that. Then we got, was the 1975 thing in character piece, cuz? No. I'm still huge in 1975. fan. They haven't put it in any music, but I'm always a big fan. Chris Nillan, David Juarez, Marco Garcia, sweating like a Leroy with a love letter. I don't get it. Jason Matos, glue Alcindor, oh, glue Alcindor, like Lou Alcinder, Lou Alcinder. Chicken finger.

Three Marines. Okay. Right of 14. Sorry about that. When they go low, we... Oh, my God. the creativeness and the evil of it. Joey Papa.

Patches O'Halligan. It's just what it is. Master Bader, Ginsberg. Oh, shit. I mean, this is a bad one today. Yeah. Jimmy, Adam Gomez, Tara Leicstein, Andrew Lucero, Zane. Chrissy's got that dog in him.

Call him the Golden. I cut off. Christian Moreno. One ding, two ding. Ding, Juding. Udin. Udin. Udin.

Udn. Matt Swarbik. You think Donnie and something ever compared pieces. I don't know.

Got cut off. Sorry. Jonathan israeli. Cute kid who gets Nervy after he uses his glue gun. Yani uses Zipix as a

trash bag. Uses what? Zippix? What is Zippix? Don't get it. Sully. Captain Brunson in a different way. Like that.

Blake Hawthorne, Emmanuel Mosquita, Frank, Hector Octavio, Andy, Matt Schneider, Frisbee, who couldn't find a hole in the sheets. Ladd 14. Jesus. MWP 23, Travis McIntosh, Kyle C, Mike.

If I'm not Jewish, then why do my nips look like Yarmakas? It's a question. It's a good question, yeah. Looking through men. Medical waste for, okay, looking through medical waste for Elliot Page's trash can titty. Way song she ain't. Jesus.

It's what it is. Where do they put it when they're done? You don't know. It's a good question. Then we got Mom Donnie's third wife. Way Song Sheein. It's chicken finger. It's just, it's just, it's just, it's just, yeah, it's different rules.

It's okay. Nick Bence Roll me in flour Until you find the wet spot They put in a list Yeah yeah Why not? Yeah

Richard Klein's Still on Epstein's Island Hashtag Free Us Uh Yanis Yannis the Greek Janissary And Christi's German It's what it is

Charles Vidal Coasty Cutlets The Goodish Ducky Demented old circus monkey Persian Jew What do I do? Chicken figure B East

Bandolier Sean asshole prolapse so hard Outback Steakhouse was inspired to reinvent the blooming onion Okay He was going for it

A little wordy But it was yeah A lot of Yeah John Devedo Chris Chris bitch hips de Stefano.

My 2 inch pistol shrimp loves tortas. Hashtag little man big dreams. God damn it. Pistol shrimp is so good. So funny. Love tortes. Yeah, it's just long. Hashtag little man big dreams. Yeah, but pistol shrimp is a good one.

I've never heard that for a small penis. Then we got Beaver's Pub, Vienna, Austria. I guess that's a place in Vienna. Better Transformer, Optimus Prime or Elliot Page. It's just what it is. Drexler. Uh, Maasiel Nunez, sweating like a Leroy and a Spelling Bee. Lad of 14.

Sauce monkeys are just Leroy's turned inside out. Interesting theory. Interesting. Zach Rue, overweight dad, Adam White, I am anti-freeze, Anna, question mark. Wade Nicholson, Jack Warren, bushy mound lover. Bushy mound lover. Yeah. Guy, you know, it's a throwback.

Jeremy Sharp. and then we got third temple templar. Okay, so that's it. Relatively weak list, but we'll see. Yeah, I mean, you know, sometimes we're running into this problem where we have lists where some of the better ones are just ones that can't be up in lights.

Yeah, it's just what is. How it happens sometimes. So, but here is the list. We got... Because we're decent people. Is it my vision board or just a gay gang bang scene? What do we think? No?

I don't think that... I don't think it's going to make it. All right, so we put that... Drexler. Straight to the back, Big Dick Tony. I like Big Dick Tony, but I'm a chicken finger ham. Okay. Cream filled from both ends.

Call me a Twinkie. Yeah, that's definitely a contender. Contender. Yeah. And then we got Roll me in flour until you find the wet spot. So it's between those two? It's really pretty much between those two. I think it's the Twinkie, right?

Right? Yeah, that's got to be the winner. See, now let me just, can I just say something here? Yeah. This is an example of a list that a lot of the other people who were Drexlered in the final round wishes they were on. And that's just the luck of the draw. Because so many of those are better than the Twinkie one,

but the Twinkie one just happens to be on a list by itself. Look, if you were a shortstop in the late 90s and you were in the Yankees farm system, you just weren't getting called up because of Derek Jeter. But if you were on the Reds, you were getting called up. I'm sorry, it's just the list is what it is. It's timing. That's what life is about.

So much of life is luck and timing. So congratulations, go to history. Hyenas is back.com to see your name up in lights. Cream filled from both ends. Call me Twinkiecky. you're the winner