History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - Mathew Modine & D.B. Sweeney: Tell all on Weinstein & Kubrick | History Hyenas

Episode Date: March 12, 2026

Hollywood stories you’ve never heard before. On this episode of Hyenas, Yanni and Chris sit down with actors Matthew Modine and D.B. Sweeney for an unfiltered conversation about their careers, the wild reality of the film industry, and what it was like working with legendary—and controversial—figures like Stanley Kubrick and Harvey Weinstein. From behind-the-scenes stories on iconic films to firsthand insights about the power structures of Hollywood, Modine and Sweeney open up about the moments that shaped their careers and the industry itself. It’s funny, revealing, and classic Hyenas chaos. Check out their new movie Protector in theaters now. #HistoryHyenas #YannisPappas #ChrisDistefano #MatthewModine #DBSweeney #StanleyKubrick #HarveyWeinstein #HollywoodStories #ComedyPodcast #FilmIndustry Support our sponsors Chubbies is here to keep you comfy and looking good year-round. Get 20% off with code hyenas at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/hyenas! #chubbiespod Head to https://factormeals.com/hyenas50off and use code hyenas50off to get 50 percent off and free breakfast for a year! Bugs hate to see you coming with Pestie. Go to https://pestie.com/HYENAS for 10% off your order. To explore coverage, visit https://ASPCApetinsurance.com/HYENAS #comedy #Podcast #History Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas/ Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit.ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0 Hyenas Merch!!! https://store.historyhyenaspod.com Follow us Cuz! 🙆🏻‍♂️ Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ 🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ 🐕More Hyenas Website: www.historyhyenasisback.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/historyhyenas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HistoryHyenas Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/historyhyenaspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Have it all with Bulu on Disney Plus. Guys, we actually just. had one of the funnest episodes we've ever had. You are going to enjoy it with two movie guys. Matthew Modine and D.B. Sweeney, you're going to love it. You're like the odd couple. Yeah, it was really turned out to be one of the funnest ones we've ever done. Catch me in Boston, April 17th, and 18th.

West Niac, New York, Levity Live, April 24th, and 26th. And then catch me at Emmaus, Pennsylvania, May 2nd. I got nothing. Patreon.com slash history hyenas What's up everybody? Welcome to another episode of History Hyenas

I'm Chrissy D this is Yanni P today we got two cuties in the studio with us Matthew Modine D.B. Sweeney They got a new movie out

right now called The Protector and let me tell you some right now I feel like we're alter I feel like you know like when Bill and Ted you ever see the movie Bill and Ted excellent adventure

when they see the alternate versions of themselves that's this This is us. This is us. If we were actors, this is who we did. If we had any serious talent. Yeah, if we had any serious talent, but instead we're just idiots on pods.

Yeah. Yeah. Welcome, guys. We heard the movie came out this week. It came out this week. And first off, we really are interested in talking about the movie business because he came in and like, he told me the numbers or whatever. But I was like that's, like we said, it's a win to get in movie theater. Right.

Right. It is a win to get inside the movie theater. Right. Yeah, I think they've got to rethink the whole model. I mean, you can't, like our movie's okay, right? It's not Cesar Cain, but you're asking people, you know, $16 a ticket, $15 for popcorn. The outrage of all outrages is $6 for milk duds. I mean, throw me a bone. Yeah. If I buy the popcorn for 12, combo me a little bit, they don't do that. So by the time you get out of there, you went to see Protector with, you know, DB idiot and Mila Hadi once upon a time. Sure. And all of a sudden, you know, you're in it for like $70. I like it. You're for 70 bucks. Yeah. Yeah. And it's the guy from Stranger Things, you've seen it?

Yeah. That's the only reason to go. Yeah. Yeah. That's the way you promote it. That's the way it's promoted. And you know what's great is we were planning to do 20 minutes with you guys, but I don't think we need it because we got the clip. So thanks guys.

That's what this is about. This is the internet now. D.B. Sweeney, remember the name. We brought you in for a clip. It's no Citizen Kane. She used to be hot. What do you want me to do? It's right, right.

No, it's just listen. Here's the thing. I think that we're living in a time right now where it's just the internet. I mean, as we all know, they've just taken over. And it's like art is still art. I love the movies. I love TV shows. I appreciate it. But I look at my kids and I'm like, they just don't care like we care. They just don't. They care about Mr. Beast and the shit. Everybody's now a freaking movie director because they have phones. I mean, the cameras inside our phones are better than the cameras Stanley Kubrick had when you did. Full Metal Jacket and it's just, it sucks, but it's just the world. So I think though, you know, I think your idea of having somebody making the theater an experience

where it's like the actual actors are there, you get a meet and greet with them, all that stuff, I think that's the way it will go and I think that's where it should goes. Or just put everything, every movie you do, just also do it on Onlyfans where you see the movie and then you can also have an AI version of you guys,

just fucking eat and ass on OnlyFans for $5 a month. I'd like to see that, Mr. Modin. Oh my gosh. Not the real you, just the AI you I'm saying. What room have I walked into? You've walked in safe space. You've walked it to the internet. Welcome to the internet.

This is, yeah, extreme. This is not on a big screen. It's a small screen. Yeah. And like we were saying, it's almost like screens have become what seeing someone live used to be. It's so common now that almost the live experience seems like it's going to become the rare experience. But movies, I also think maybe that it's going through a transition.

We may be just going through a transition. So is Nick. Right. Yeah. Where it's like this is happening, but then I think movies will get popular. I think it's just, I think it's just people will want to go back to the theater. I think got to take the phones. I don't know whose idea was, but when you go to a comedy show, you know, they take your

phone, they stick it in the yonder bag. Yes. And I think everybody secretly wants to put the, Dave Chappelle started that. He didn't want anyone to film a train. That's what he started. So smart. It's very smart.

Well, I thought a lot gave him the idea. Developing their act, you know, developing their act so they can have a special before everybody knows their jokes. Sure. Yeah. But I think people are relieved. It's like, oh, I get to, I'm allowed, I'm forced, but I'm allowed to put the phone down for two hours.

Maybe that's the answer for movie theaters, too, is, you got to, you know, if you put your phone on the yonder bag, you get a $3 discount on the milk duds. Yes. Seriously. I mean, something like that. Yeah. I mean, dude. And it's also, you know, it's nostalgia.

Like, I loved, I loved the, uh, the figure skating. movie, Cutting Edge that you guys did. That's why I'm wearing this jacket. That's why I put on the women's U.S. figure skating jacket. I thought that was for Jack Hughes. No, dude, this is the official female figure skating jacket of the Milan Olympics and I wore it for you, Mr. Sweeney. That's so strong. Thank you. Thank you. Are you what it is. Were you guys and Matthew, I having a butt plug for you? I was thinking maybe you had a singlet on the Bousier is for both of us. Were you guys friends before? Like, have you known each other for a long time? Yeah, we met on Memphis Bell, 1989. What's Memphis Bell? Is it a porn? That's,

it's World War II, a B-17 movie. Yeah. If it's World War II. It's a true story, based on a true story about guys in leather jackets and boots. Oh, really? I like it, dude. I'm definitely a Nick. Nick. Can somebody get Nick a wet wipe? This was the first, first B-17 that achieved 25 missions, and at that time, it was, you know, guys were getting shot out of the air by 11 missions. So, oh, B-17. 17's a plane. Yeah. A man. A guy's talking about peptides.

Yeah. But he's talking about peptides now. So these guys, we were part of the crew, the first crew that got, they're flying their last mission. If they can survive, they get to go home. Yeah. And 25th. And 25th mission.

So Matthew was the captain. I was a navigator. And we go over to England. And it's a really cool movie because it's just before CGI happened. So we had six real B-17 bombers, 12 fighter planes. Who is it? Is it? Is it?

Is it? Is it? Camer planes. Liam Mason. Liam Mason. No, it's not. It's Domney. But it's a fun movie because we're really in these planes, you know, and it's, it's cool. And, but Sean Austin's in it and Eric Stoltz and Harry Connick and Billy Zane.

That's what I'm into. Yeah, that's what I'm into, dude. Eric Stoltz. Eric Stolt. Billy Zane. Oh, with hair or did he have the shaved head? No, he had a... He had a wig.

He had a wig on? Yeah. Oh, does he not have hair? How he's bald. Oh, but I thought he shaved it. He has got a hair loss disease? No, it's not a disease. It's just got...

Heapsed his head. Yeah. It's not a disease. So does Pitbull, the rapper. I mean, you know. But you don't want to go around... I don't know if he had alopecia. Jesus Christ, D.B.

Look what you used to look like. Oh, how about that? Holy shit. Matthew Mald D. Look at Matthew Moteen look like a lesbian. Holy shit. Is there Katie Lang? No, you're two cute kids still.

No, you are. These two? Here's the... I look at these two guys. and I say these are the type of guys my mom wants to have sex with. Absolutely. Yeah.

And to me, I'm big fan. I was big fans of both you guys. I still am big fans of the movies. Big fans of the acting. Big fans. I saw you sitting outside having breakfast, a friend of the farmer, but I didn't come up and say hello.

I let you enjoy your meal. But you know, it's wild. You should have said hi. No, I want to do it because I was so caught up in the weather that I would have come over and I would have sat down with you and said, hi, my name's Chris. We'll be doing the podcast later on. And if you said, hi, my name is Matthew.

I would have went for a kiss on the lips. So I said, you know what, let me just stay back. This way we got DB in between us. Because I know with a guy like DB, he's from Long Island. He doesn't play that gay shit. So that's what I know about DB. So I just figured I'm in a safe space with DB. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, because DB came in. He was like, can I speak in here? And they just dropped. And I said, you're in a safe space. You can say a word like that. And I like D. He's from Long Island. But I said it in a French context.

I meant late. I meant late. I meant late. You meant late. Yeah. He didn't mean like literal. Yeah. Now, Maddie Moe, let me ask you a question.

Yeah. Okay, you've been in some big, I mean, dude, come on, full metal jacket, stranger things. I mean, some of the biggest blockbusters ever. Where do you see the business going and how do you feel about things? Because now we're in this movie, The Protector, which is a fantastic movie, but it's an independent film, isn't, isn't it? Or is it not independent. You forgot about the Dark Night, too. Oh, and he's in the Dark Night.

Yeah. Dark Night. Because those movies are just happening less and less now. So, like, what do you think? How do you feel? I don't know. Oppenheimer made a billion dollars. Oppenheimer! That's what I'm saying.

Look at many blockbusters are right. Dark Night, also a billion. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. But they're happening like less and less. I mean, they're still happening, but there used to be so many of these movies. But now there's only like one a year. So you can't get in every single one of them.

Because the rocks in them all. The rocks in a mall. Yeah. Did anybody really imagine that Oppenheimer would make a billion dollars? I mean, dude. Well, they did a. They did a- Barbenheimer. The way they market it.

Like if you're stupid, you go to this one. Smart. Yeah. If you went to college, you go to that one. Yeah. And you got to be able to see both talk about it. Yeah. Really smart.

You got to eat your meat and potatoes before you get your cake. Yes. Yeah. It was sort of like. I mean, I don't have a crystal ball to be able to tell you what the, what the future is going to look like. It looks pretty grim right now with all the wars going on. Sure. But perhaps the secret sauce.

the secret secret of the success of Stranger Things is what DB was alluding to before. It's a time before computers and cell phones and video games. People were playing Dungeons and Dragons. You know, if you wanted to see your friend, you'd get on a bicycle and ride and go see them. So that this kind of low-tech analog world that we're missing right now, I think maybe the world slides back into a more reasonable place where there's people talking to one another. Yes. Yes, that's what I try so, every time I'm watching stranger things because my 10-year-old and 15-year-old love Stranger Things watching, you know,

came out in the, even that last episode came out in the theaters. It was such a big event in my family. And I always tell them similarly, I'm like, this was the time when like, mommy and daddy grew up in this time, we're like, all we did was talk to each other ride bikes and we didn't have any major real fears. The only fear we had was like, you know, who's getting AIDS? AIDS was the big thing. Everybody got AIDS. And that was like, you know, know, I tell her like that was like our demigorgon. I don't think anyone on Long Island got AIDS. No.

Right. You know, pretty much you Brooklyn guys. Yeah, we all got, well, he definitely, I mean, he came close. Well, I can't close. But, you know, the funny thing was, like, we all thought we were going to get AIDS. It was, like, the media made a- And then you went to your doctor because you thought you had AIDS all the time. Yeah.

And then your doctor told you the politically incorrect truth. Yeah, well, the thing is, were you having sex with men. You're like, yeah, vouchee was behind that one, too. Yeah. Yes. It was like, you shoot needles in your penis heart. You're fine. Yeah.

fine, don't wait. Why didn't JFK get it then? Right, exactly. It was before, it was heroin in his testicles. He was. Yes. I never saw it. Senior or junior?

No. No. The original. Yeah. No. Wow. Are you talking about Junior? Robert Kennedy Jr. was, yeah. Shooting it in his penis hole?

Heroin into his testicles. Was he? Like on a bet. Well, RFK Jr. Google it just so I did RFC Jr. Well, look, that's a weekend. Was Kennedy boys? They did.

They are wild boys. His voice. His voice, you know, I know he says he has a neurological condition, but I know just from, you know, he's, that's, you get that from eating ass. He was eating ass at a level that I think we haven't seen in a way. Yeah. That, and then you just, your voice is going to wind up like that. So actually that is what's stopped me from eating as much asses I'm eating. It might be, if your uncle and your father were assassinated, when you got up to publicly speak, you got a little bit of tension.

A little bit nervous. It might be a little bit nervous. What's this red thing on my forehead? Oh, scared. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's a good point. You get a little nervous. says there's no credible evidence that RFK injected drugs into his penis, but he looks like the guy that would, and I, you know, he had fun. He did, I think they got it wrong. It's not penis. It was testicles.

Testicle. Testicle. Yeah. It's crazy, though, people attacking this guy. Like, he's saying, like, let's have less vaccines and let's eat better food. And it's like, he's Hitler. Right. It's like, I mean, he really, you guys must have some interesting political conversation. But let me just tell you something right now.

This is what I actually love about this. And this is what I hope the kids are. home are watching. They are opposite sides of the spectrum politically. You could tell by their faces, you could just tell that they don't agree on what thing politically at all. But here they are,

getting along, friends, promoting the movie, and you can tell there's a genuine love, I mean, and it's just, that is the world, that's life. It's like you got to agree. They're great. I admire this guy. Yes, great actor. Yes. Great actor. You're a great guy.

Yes, that's what I'm saying. You have commonalities. Like, so what? If you're on different sides of the, you know, spectrum, it's okay. The bigger challenge for us is that I eat meat and he doesn't eat meat. So when we try to pick a restaurant, he's got to have veto power. But again, you can get past everything. Yeah.

There's always something you can eat. Yeah. Always something you can eat. Yeah, always a salad. There's always a salad. Yeah, so I like that, right? Are you vegetarian for moral reasons, health reasons? No, I grew up in the 60s.

Everybody, every, when it was, you know, when it was, you know, was difficult to be vegetarian. And then my wife, in trying to eliminate, trying to find things that were making her ill, she didn't know what it was. So she started eliminating things in her diet. Once she eliminated animal products from her diet, her health increased dramatically. And so, you know, as the wife goes, so does household. So the house became vegan. Yeah. Healthy, dude. I mean, your cholesterol must be unbelievable. What are the numbers? Tell us the numbers. I don't even, I don't have a doctor. Really? Interesting. Jesse. Jesse can go to the doctor. Yeah, they give you bad news. That's what a sick

people are. That's what DB wants to inject you with methylene blue. Is that all right? Yeah, that's what D. B. Just do it outside the elevator. Yeah. D.B wants RFK to take a look at you. D.B looks like he was partying last night. Yeah, yeah. DB, that leads me. D.B does not watch his what he eats. I'll tell you that. You know what? D. D. B. D. D. D. D. B. might go first. Yeah, that's what. He had a good time. D. D. D. D. D. He had a a fun, both fun guys for different, in different ways. In different ways, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. With DB, you know, you want to, you want to do a bump of Coke, you go to DB's house. Yeah. Yeah. If you

want to get a nice quinoa salad with beans that supplement your protein, you go to Modin's house. Yeah. Yeah. It's what it is. You have a nice matcha tea, organic, infused. Yeah. It's a different time. It's a good time both ways. And it's just, and it's just beautiful come together. You know what I mean? It's a nice come together moment. It's kind of like, you know, different. I like that there's, you know, this is the older generation where you just hang out. You just hang out and you find a commonality between each other. And my dad was a Republican. My mom was a Democrat. Back in the day, they got divorced. They got divorced, but they got divorced for different reasons. My mom had fumes.

Right. But yeah. Yeah. So that. Mom had fumes. Yeah, don't, well, we'll get into it on the Patriot. My dad was a Korean war vet. Sometimes he would say some inappropriate. Yeah, his dad was a Korean war vet, and he did, you know, he denies it, but we are pretty confident that he did have sex with a Korean prostitute. No, he definitely did. Yeah, he definitely did. His mom found out, and what can you do? You're trying to survive, honey. He definitely did, and he announced it to a waiter once in his later years.

You know, you get older, you become a little bit more unbridled. Bring me some more kimchi, and I bang the prostitute. As what it is. Yes. I was with my brother, who's a very proper. He actually is, you know, a very liberal guy. My brother. He's a homosexual.

So we were sitting having. Not because he's liberal. No. Just because he has sex with men. Yeah. No, it's a true story. Yeah, it's a true story. No, he's a proper term homosexual.

But he is liberal too. Right, he's both. Right. He is liberal. But being liberal doesn't make you homosexual. He's a double stuffed Oreo. Yeah. Right.

He's both liberal and homosexuals. He's a three dollar bill, but not because it was politics because he likes. You know what I mean? He had sex with men in the butt. Yeah. That's what he does. And we respect that and we love that. So we also love liberals and we're not saying liberals are gay.

D.B might have said that, but we didn't say that. I just want to draw a hard line between Long Island and Queens and Brooklyn. Right. Hard barrier. Yeah. So me and my brother was sitting there with my father. He must have been, you know, in his 80s at the time. And as the waitress came over, he just said, Korean whores got tight pussies.

Out of nowhere. Yeah. Out of nowhere. He must have just been back there. Back there, yeah. Yeah. It happens. And that's just what he said.

Oh. Just what he did. Now, Matt, that'll change the evening. Yeah. It was my brother, my brother was mortified. I was cracking up. And we chose different career paths. You're trying to transition, like, get out with that conversation of Korea.

Well, I was going to know I could talk about career all day. But I know we only have a few more minutes. I want to talk about the Knicks. You and I big time New York Knicks fans. You said, where do I know you from? Obviously, John has made the Joe Grindr. We thought about it. That's not it.

But it was, it's the Knicks game. We got spanked last night. We did get spanked. We did. Yesterday, last night. Yeah, yesterday at the Lakers. But I do. feel, don't you feel that even though we're having a little bit of bumps in the road now,

DB, calm down, no bumps, no bumps on the table. I think that this, more than any other year in recent memory, we have a real chance to win the NBA championship. What do you think? What do you say? I mean, I don't, it's like holding your breath, you know. I might feel like I'm going to pass out that I'm so excited that they could, you know, reach the definitely East Coast

finals. Eastern Conference finals for sure. For sure. Yeah. You saw Jayling came back from Boston. He's back. Yeah. Oh, yeah, Jason Tatum. Jason Tatum, yeah. Jason Tatum, yeah. And he looked good. He did. He looked healthy. But my feeling is beat them last year with him at full strength, so why couldn't you do it this year? And people

talk about the Spurs, and Nick's beat them by 30. So, like, I personally think if we just got to get hot, I'm saying we, I'm not on the team. Yeah. But I, but I, But it's okay that we're slumping right now. Yes, this is the time to slump. I think it's good. If you're going to slump, you do it now, and then you get a nice little surge.

And I... Brunson's been playing terribly. He's been playing terribly, but let him get it out now? Yeah, let him get it out. I really think this is a time. New York sports. I'm a big St. John's basketball fan. But you know, the dominant tenant in MSG is the Rangers.

Yes. They're going to go 17 and 1 now since they kept Trocheck. Yeah. They're going to make the playoffs. They're going to win the cup. Do you think that? Oh, man. Crazy.

17 and 1. The Islanders, all New York sports team's playing good. Buffalo. Buffalo, besides the Brooklyn Nets, but they're not a real team. Can we just be honest, Matt? Now, you've told us you're a New Yorker? No. You know, DB, New Yorker.

You've been here straight. They're still in New Jersey Nets. Here's the truth about the Brooklyn Nets, and let's just, just back me up on this, okay? The Brooklyn Nets, if you're a fan, if you're an adult of the Brooklyn Nets, if you're an adult fan of the Brooklyn Nets, either you don't know sports,

you're on the spectrum of your Hasidic Jew. It's one of those three things. And the stadium sucks. It's a terrible state. It sucks. It's like you got, if you're a little kid, if you're under the age of 15, I'll allow you to be a broken Nets for you and you grow up here, but you can't be an adult. No.

And tell me you like the Nets. You know what I mean? It just doesn't make any sense. So anybody tells me that they like the Brooklyn Nets, or if you're from New Jersey. If you're from New Jersey, I'll allow it. But if you're from New York and you like the Nets, I really don't have anything in common with you because you're not a guy who likes sports and I'm a guy who likes sports and you're also most likely Hasidic Jew. Yeah, they do like that. The Mex are Yankees. I'm actually the, I like the Mets,

but I also don't hate the Yankees and I never have. I'm a bisexual baseball fan because I'm all about New York first. Yeah. So I like the Mets and the Yankees and a lot of people get mad at me. And what I say to them is same with Jets' giants. Well, I don't like the Jets. I only like the Giants. But the only reason why I like the Mets is because I grew up Yankees fan, my father from the Bronx, whatever. I was born and raised in Queens. So my mother always wanted me to be a Mets fan but I'm going with my pops but then the Mets owner Steve Cohen his son is a comedy fan and we start to get to know each other and then I got to know the owner of the Mets Steve Cohn he's the nicest guy ever in his family so nice and they like roll out the red carpet for me and my family yeah where like

you know the Yankees are Steve Cohn no he's a billionaire owner of the Mets so right off the bat what he's out he's a billionaire a billionaire so he's out oh yeah but but he's also but he's also So Jewish, so we have to love and support our Jewish brothers and sisters. It depends. It depends. It depends. But it is fun to watch it. It's irrelevant.

It's irrelevant. Is Mundani going after? I don't think Mom Donnie can get. I think he's too big the billionaires. I don't think Mom Donnie, yeah, I think all Mom Dani can really do to Steve Cohners hit him with a snowball. I don't think that's really, can't really stop Steve. Yeah. Unfortunately, got too much money.

You're not going to be able to get him with an impromptu nail bomb. No. I can't. I didn't like the snowball thing in Washington is where. No. What did you think about that? Yeah, see? It's wrong.

It's wrong. They're police officers. And by the way, a snowball fight is when we engage and we're both throwing snowballs. Nope, there's policemen were not throwing snowballs. That's a great point. And had they thrown snowballs, it would have, it could have escalated into something really horrific. Yes. Now, you know, we live in an era where someone could take that clip.

Yeah. And turn you into a MAGA Republican. Just in that clip. Yeah. Because even though I'm trying to be a skinny mini, one thing I love is chival. Chubbies. Are you talking to me? Yeah.

I love Chubby. You love me at 220. Cause, yeah, yeah. You like to make me, you like to fat me up in your basement. And what I like about you too is I like that just like a girl when you posted the picture of us at the wedding, you cropped from the waist up. You have to do that because my gut is fat, fat, fat, fat. But Chubbies is actually, they have, it's clothing company and they got the best shorts. Summer's coming up.

I love their. shorts. They were founded in 2011 by a group of friends who wanted to redefine proper length shorts and they definitely named the company after one of their fat friends. They just used to call Chubby. Men's shorts, they said were, you know, they were losing their personality. They didn't look as good and they were right. And that's why this year marks 15 years of Chubbies with a celebrating by bringing back the originals, the OGs, the shorts that started all. They got the same iconic in-seam options, same comfortable fit and the same easygoing vibe that looks good and feels even better. With over 2.6 million customers, Chubbies clearly knows how to keep

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meals that fit your goals and schedule. I got, I'm eating healthier. I'm managing my calories and I'm getting the number one thing that we need, protein. Yeah, I'm using Factor now because I need to lose a little weight. I need to eat healthy and my wife can't cook for shit. Well, because I'm using Factor and then when I told you about it, you forgot the letter C and you're using Fatter. So you just are at Fatter Meals.com. 100 rotating weekly meals to keep things fresh and delicious through winter. Options include high protein, calorie smart, Mediterranean diet, GLP 1 support and ready to eat salads, Chris.

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customers with the code and qualifying auto renewal subscription purchase. Make healthier eating easy with factor. You guys are older. You remember when people weren't so crazy. Do you think the world's gotten a little crazy, a little too extreme on both sides? Everything filtered through politics? I mean, thousands of years ago when Confucius was walking the earth, he said when words lose their meaning people lose their freedom. And we're living in a time where there's so many opinions. You know, we were talking before about the movie business. And not only can anybody make a movie, but anybody can have an opinion about a movie. And depending on the platform that they have, how loudly they can yell and destroy something that is rather fragile part and storytelling.

You know, it's easy to, but it used to be that way too. Frank Rich, the movie crew, the theater critic for the New York Times could close a play overnight. I don't know if you ever went to Joe Allen's restaurant. Joe Allen's restaurant, the walls were lined with plays that opened and closed on the opening night. Wow. And I used to think he was making fun of those plays, you know, like, ha-ha, they opened and closed.

But he was celebrating the fact that how much effort it took in order to be able to get that play up. Look at the people that were involved, the famous director, the famous actors, the famous playwright, the famous composers that were involved with the creation that opened and closed in one night. So he wasn't making fun of it. He was celebrating the effort. And that's what we don't really do anymore is that you don't get an E for effort anymore. It's like you win or you're a loser. Yeah. Yeah. As a quaintly time, like New York Times is on 43rd Street and then Joe Allen was on 46th Street and opening night of a Broadway play, the New York Times would come out for the next day

at like 11 o'clock. So the play ends at like 10. People would be huddled in the restaurant. Somebody would be right on 43rd Street trying to get the first copy. Yeah. And they'd all read the review. And it's like, you learn your fate. Yeah. You know? And we're a hit or we're done.

Was it really? Did he have that much power? He had that power. Wow. In the 80s and certainly in the early 90s. Wow. It became, when the internet started to get big with comedy, like I'm talking about over the last like 10 years, it became a big thing amongst comedians.

Like you would hear it at the different clubs. Like people started really crapping on like SNL. Oh, it's not funny anymore. And the people from, you know, the 90s were funnier and all these things. things. And, you know, I had never been there. I never, you know, wasn't a part of S&L. So I would hear what they were saying? And I was like, yeah, but this show's like an institution. So like, what could it be? And then you would hear people really go in. S&L sucks. Nobody's a star in, all these things. And then I went. I went. One of our friends was on the show. And he invited me to go to the show to

watch him on it and the after party. And then I went and watched like I was there watching how it all goes. And I was like blown away by the spectrum. What those people do every single week. week to make that show and how complicated it is and how they have to do everything and put out sketches and deal with the internet now and all that stuff. And I was just the kind of like I just love the show so much now, even if I don't laugh at it as much or I can hear people say, okay, subjectively it's not funny, but kind of the admiration I have for what goes into it and it's very similar to a play. Like you can, it's easy now. Everybody judges everything. They got these watch videos on Instagram and they like to shit on things. And then it's like if you tried it,

like, go try. Yeah. Like now when I hear anybody crap on SNO, I'm like, go try it. Go see if you could come up within a week of all those sketches. And tell me how funny you think you could be. Like tell me off. Go try a Broadway play. See if you can honestly do it. Most people can't. That's why. It's the Teddy Roosevelt speech. The best. Yeah. The man in the arena. That's it. Yeah. I don't think everybody should get a participation medal. I think we have to celebrate excellence, you know, that there's one person that wins the prize. But sounding very conservative. Dude, I was just going to say, dude, you sound like my dad.

Or he's just sounding like good old what they used to call, you know, good old Clinton Democrat. No, well, that's the thing. Yeah, just an old school. I think we're all in here, right, old school Democrats. We're all, you know, even the way that we are, you know, the way we are now just being in the middle, you know, because people have gotten so crazy. Like, you're Republican. And it's like, no, dude, I grew up mostly Democratic, like everybody else in New York. The butt that I got to that I didn't finish the thought is that, but you say you have two children.

Yeah, three, yeah. When they had first started walking, you didn't discourage them when they fell down. You say, oh, what a loser. No. Let me get another kid that will learn how to walk right away. Right, right. You keep encouraging. Sure.

Not me. As soon as my kid fell, I said, you deserve to fall. Yeah. Your pale skin. You deserve it. Your privilege. Yeah. You should be walking.

You know all the other people who didn't walk. You know what kind of conquering your ancestors did? Exactly. Even though we didn't were Greek, we've been conquered for a long time. But I let her know she was privileged. That was the most important. No, you're walking. Or you got to tell your kids now, like, now I get mad on my kids if they don't know Mandarin.

I'm like, you better learn freaking Chinese. Okay? What the hell are you doing? Who cares if you could do it in English? Do you think this movie can make some money in China? Because that seems to be the way. Protector? Yeah, why not?

The movie that we came here to chat about. Protector. It's kind of designed to be international because it's, you know, It's kind of a knockoff of a taken. I was going to say it's taken with a woman. I thought it was more Rambo. First blood, right? Okay.

Yeah, first blood. Your character and my character is definitely from first blood. We're definitely lifted from the last. But Mila, I think her character is more like Liam Neeson as a chick. Right. But yeah, those movies tend to do better international because, you know, a punch doesn't need a subtitle. That's right.

Where did you guys film the movie? Was it in the U.S.? Las Cruces, New Mexico. New Mexico. Yeah. Which is, you know, if you like burritos. Right. See, that's another part about acting I always think about now.

You know, we travel with stand-up and all that. And I never really considered until I got into, you know, entertainment a little bit. You know, you guys got to be away from your families for months filming these movies. Like, how do you... It used to be worse. It used to be four months, five months. Full metal jacket was almost two years. I was in England.

But I was with my wife. Right. Yeah. My son... They used to take care you in those days. Yeah, yeah. Now they try to get you to say, well, bring you to England for a movie, but you have to be an English citizen like pretend you're an English person pay your own hotel you know oh yeah so that's how they

they call a local hire so like I got offered from last week where they said okay we're gonna shoot in Columbus Ohio but you got to be a local hire so that so like I got to pay the hotel and the airplane and so deduct that from whatever money they're giving you but we didn't Memphis bell we were there like five months and they put us up in a nice place yeah but but if you if you had a wife and kids at that at that point and there's plenty of actors that can't bring their family with Once they started going to school, that was the end of it. You didn't see them. Yeah, then you were gone for three, four months.

Wow. Yeah, see, that's like the dilemma, because sometimes we are like, you know, we'll only go, be gone Thursday to Sunday, and we're like, we can't do this. I miss my family, but you guys, it's a different thing. It is awful. Yeah. You know, it's why there's so many crash and burn marriages in the entertainment. That's what it is.

You're still together. But you made it. You're still gone. Yeah, 45 years. Whoa. Congratulations, man. You made a 20 plus. 23.

Yeah, that's a win. That's also a win. 23, you can leave. I think you should be able to leave. I think you should have an option. Have a clause. I think it's the same success for me. Once you hit 20, I think the treasury, the government should, every 10 years you make, the government should send you a check because you've made society better. Yes. You know what I mean?

Great point. Because if you look at all the statistics on crime, it doesn't matter if you're rich or you're poor. If you have two parents, you're like one eighth less likely to go to jail. Really? Yeah, it's just a fact. Whether they're divorced or not, you're saying, just, Two parents? No, two parents married. Two married parents.

Okay. And it does, but the thing that's great is it doesn't, it doesn't have any correlation to finances. You can be super poor, you can be super rich. Like a divorced billionaire family has just as much chance of producing a degenerate criminal as a family making no money. Right, right. Maybe not just as much, but comparably. It definitely, it definitely helps. Rob Reiner.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, you're saying, what, Rob Reiner? Did you say? Yeah. As a counterpoint, I think he's bringing it up. Oh, as a counterpoint, yeah. Yeah, you wouldn't think that Rob Reiner's child would do that.

Right, right. Right. Right. But then, but that was a mental illness. Right. Multiple marriages too. Really? Yeah, it wasn't his first wife.

Oh. Oh. I don't know. That I didn't know. Yeah. I don't know. I guess the point that I was trying to make is that you don't. You know, it exists across the spectrum of, sure.

Of craziness. Humans are complicated. We're complicated. Yeah. Yeah. That's why we need movies, we need art. You know what I miss? I miss feeling.

I miss watching something and feeling something. Yeah. The way they make movies now, it's like either excitement or plot twist. I miss the feeling. When you watch Eight Men Out, when you watched... Ethan Hawke, he loves Ethan. He's a big Ethan Hawk. Like, like we...

I want to sit in his lap. I try to get videos of Ethan Hawk for his birthday. I mean, he watches every Ethan Hawk movie. He loves Ethan Hawke. You know Ethan Hawk Midget. You got Blue Moon, then, right? Do you guys know Ethan Hawk? I love Link Letter.

You boys know Ethan Hawk? I know Ethan. Can you, Matt, get him off? What can we do? What can we do? Because I'm telling you, if you want to make someone, if you want to make a fellow liberal man happy. Yeah. Ethan, what you could do, Ethan Hawke is the gift.

I can't explain to you what Ethan Hawke would mean to Janus. He loves Ethan Hawke. It would be like you send in a dying kid, you know, their favorite sports. Right. Steph Curry's showing up for some kid who's dying a can't in the Bay Area. Didn't the Greeks invent liberal democracy? Absolutely. And then they abandoned it for a thousand years.

No, that's- Didn't they? No, they did democracy and then they didn't have it for a while. That's the Roman Empire. Sorry. Stoicism? Stoicism. Yeah.

Yeah, we did. Kind of everything. What happened? We wouldn't have the Bible for it. What happened? What happened? What happened? Well, we got conquered.

We got steamrolled. Steam rolled by a bunch of people didn't understand. The guys just want to sit around chat, talk philosophy, and have a little butt sack. Yeah, that's all it is. This is all was. There's always little boys, you freaks. Naked, naked wrestling. Yes.

Covered in olive oil. The Olympic. Wow. We've done. Because we're going to get Ethan Hork for you. If you could just tell him you had a good time. Is that John Kennedy in your sign? That's it.

JFK, yeah. Some fans put us in that. Who's the gray-headed guy in that? That's the driver. Giver Connolly. Clint Black. No, that's John Connolly? Oh, that's John Connolly.

I thought there was the driver. That's supposed to be the back of the convertible? Yeah, we're in the back of the convertible, you know, drinking smoothie. That's the thing we do cuties with smoothies. So DB is sitting about where the grassy knoll is. Yes, DB was the shooter. Yeah. No, Woody Harrelson's father.

Yeah, that's what they say, right? Yeah. Well, you know what's interesting? Here's what's happened. You never heard it. Woody Harrelson's father, I don't think he died, but he served a life sentence for murdering a federal judge. And the rumor is that Oliver Stone put him in true crime or whatever that one true because he wanted to get the true story about JFK.

Right. And that's why, but yeah, but that part is not disputed. The part that's alleged is that he was one of the guys in the grassy knoller. I go. It was definitely more than one guy. Well, yeah, because you watch him get shot off the face. Have you been there? When you stand there in that spot, you look where the book depository is and where the grassy no is.

There's no way. There's no way. How fast is the car going? 25 miles an hour. I go by single action bolt And also got no assassin ever goes

I didn't do it They want the credit Right You know they want And they're doing it Because they want people To know They didn't kill the tyrant

They don't go on Patsy Yeah So he didn't You start unraveling that thing No you go right through Gerald Ford on the Warren Commission And yeah

Only unelected president History of the country We're gonna Get rid of Nixon over like Nothing Nothing I know I think we'll find

I think now It's we've read There's enough time Has went by Because I The gauge for me is my mom My mom is a very Catholic, Irish Catholic lady from New York City, like your believes everything, believes in the church, believes in the government. She's so holy she could maybe get you in as a plus one.

She could get you into a plus one, even though you've been divorced. Yeah. Even though you've been divorced. She can get you. My mom's got a, you know, like, I need her info. The Lightning Lane at Disney World. My mom's got Lightning Lane passes to get into heaven because she's a very Catholic. Buy the book lady. I was an awful boy.

I put some hours in. So she's, yeah, she's even going to get Janison. And she said she possibly could even get in his game. brother, but that's going to be hard. So, so, so, but she said it's possible she's going to talk to Jesus when she gets up to. But even my mother has said, even my mother has said, two things, have radically changed her. She now has been asking me, Christopher, do you really think the government killed JFK? Is that possible?

And I said, I don't know if it's the government mom, but I don't think it was Lee Harvey, Oswald. And she's like, yeah, I kind of agree. I think the government may have lied to us. And I'm like, I would say. And then the other thing is, again, being devout religious a week ago, she's like, Christopher, do you know, anybody in your podcast, you've ever anybody in your podcast come and talk about aliens? I think they're real. Whoa. And I said, Mom, what?

Whoa. Jesus made us in seven days. What are you talking about? She's accepting aliens, but she still denies the pedophilia, the systematic pedophilia, the Catholic Church? Well, that's what it is. Mom. She doesn't, yeah. That didn't happen. My mom is, here's who my mom is. I'm 16, when the pedophilia Catholic Church stuff came out, I was 16 years old. 16 years old, I mean, prime time, right? This is my brains forming. And then I was in Catholic high school.

This whole scandal, it rocks the Catholic Church. And she goes, you're going to, every, in my high school, they had a camp called usopus. It was a town upstate. And you would go with the, you know, boys, all-boy Catholic high school. The priests were there. And like, it was sleepaway summer camp. And so this scandal's happening. And she's like, you're going to go to usopus this year?

I said, Mom, you want me to be in the woods with priests? What about all this stuff? She's like, oh, don't believe that bullshit. I was like, oh, okay, don't believe that bullshit. Why do you think I fucking waddled out at church? You know? And then he blacked out for the whole 16th year. Yeah.

Doesn't remember. Doesn't remember. But even my mom is like, now she's starting to come around to all these conspiracies that are not really, we're finding out not really conspiracies. I know you've been a believer for a long time. I've seen each other at the meetings. But Matthew is now even believing that, you know, it's not. Here's one way. I think there's just as much pedophilia in travel.

sports in the New York City public school system. Sure. And every place there's single parents dropping their kids off and having them driven back by the coach. And I think the Catholic Church certainly great crimes, great cover-ups. Everybody should be killed. But I think it was highlighted for an agenda to describe the Catholic Church. Yeah.

Because I don't think it's any more prevalent than any other place where there's kids and grown-ups inappropriately. That's probably true. That's probably true. You know what's funny? That's like my wife's like an old school like Puerto Rican girl from Sunset Park, Brooklyn. it's she's just you know she's not political at all she's you're married is your wife

Latina is Latina Hispanic or yeah I'm in the club you're in the club yes I'll see at the meetings so my she's old school Puerto Rican girl we live in this neighborhood now you know moved out of the five boroughs we live in this neighborhood it's a little bit more I hate to use the term woke that's a ridiculous word but it's kind of it's just not

like the it's not like growing up in Brooklyn it's just a little bit they're a little bit more like go with the flow stuff and one of the coaches there daughter to play sports is a big on is the type of coach is like oh parents have to leave and so with the first practice she was like no I'm not leaving and he was like no it's just standard like and she goes yeah I know but it's my daughter's nine so I'm not leaving I'll sit here and just and it's funny like when you watch like just a woman who's like you know pretty intimidating kind of lady I mean she's beautiful but you know you can

tell she's got some toughness to her when she grew up in sunset sunset park Brooklyn when she's just like no I'm not I don't care I'm not leaving it's very interesting how people just immediately back down Like there's a, I live in a town where it's like, I can see someone like the teachers or parents, like they almost pray on you. They hope like you back down because it's very politically correct. Like you know what? You're right. Respect your space. But like, she's just not like that.

And she's Puerto Rican. So it's like, what are you going to fucking do now? Now you have, now you're this white guy being like, yes, all this fucking holy earth than now bullshit. Now you have this Puerto Rican lady with a tattoo on her tit saying, how about I'm not leaving. Yeah. And then they're like, oh, you know what? I respect the Latinx culture. because I had...

Talk to me, baby, gorgeous. Let me tell you something right now. I had a bug issue at the house. Oh, you got AIDS again. I got AIDS again. Yeah, I had a bug issue at the house. And I said, how the hell am I going to get rid of? We had a couple of ants.

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He said a couple guys have been calling in. He's like, I just want to let you know the pesty doesn't work on the Chinese. So don't try to use it. It's got to be bugs. It can't be, you can't use it on people. I said, okay, I'm not calling about that. I got an ant problem. Yeah.

And you just want to be. And he said, you mean the bug, right? The bugs, yeah, just insects, right? Yeah. Yeah, it's so easy to get started. It's just a kit. Yeah. It includes pro-grade pesticide.

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you've been in Hollywood for a while. Things changed. Me Too. Things like that. How much was that a part of the culture there? Like, and how much of it is like overblown by? Well, D.B. can't talk about it legally because you think of an active lawsuit. Matthew, the question for you. Another 45 days. He's almost out. Matthew, we know. Did you ever come across Harvey White's? Is any of that? Yeah, but Harvey,

he, it was never, I think I've never been raped, but I believe. Well, the day is young. Well, except for by a chimpanzee. Yes. Gave him the right water box. Yes. Yes. You'll be fine at five o'clock.

I did give, I did get violated. A chimpanzee on a movie called Funky Monkey. You were violated on the set of Funky Monkey? Yeah, the chimpanzee fucked me. What it is? It happens. He had a diaper on. Really?

Yeah. Oh my God. Sounds like our friend Nick. Yeah. The frightening thing about it was after, you know, he pushed me over and jumped on me and I guess it's okay to say if a chimpanzee's doing it, he rabbited me. Really? Yeah.

And then he looked at my face. You know, you've seen the close-ups of chimpanzees. Sure. Terrifying. And the thing is, the flesh around their mouth is very soft. It's like here on the inside of your elbow that very soft skin with little whiskers. So you got a little turned on. Well, that's why I wonder, was it wrong if I liked it?

No. I don't think so. I don't think so. It was strong that chimpanzee right. Always very strong. And that was what they kept saying was they either rip your testicles off or they tear your throat out. So the trainers were laughing because the chimpanzee had pushed me over and mounted me with a diaper on. There was no – get your diaper off?

There was no penetration. How strong – But it was the look afterward where he looked at me so calmly and beautifully and kind of if he could have spoke, said, Yeah. Yeah. I just fucked you. Yeah. but what was the question

no i mean honestly where i'd like to go deeper into this i felt like harvey winstein was kind of like that chimpanzee it wasn't it wasn't about penetration it was about yeah i just fucked you right and and it was in business and uh i remember we were to party once and he grabbed me and pulled me down into his booth and he said you need to be seen with me And it had nothing to do with me needing to be seen with him. It was him needing to be seen with me. Right. And as soon as somebody of greater importance or fame came in the room,

it discarded me and moved to that person. Right. And that's one of the hard. It's not just Hollywood in the show business. It's, that happens all the time where you're speaking to somebody and they're always looking over your shoulder to see who more famous is. The L.A. look. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So he was a real prick is what we're saying. I had dinner with him a couple times. And not just me, like a big table of seven or eight, usually like five or six beautiful actresses and me and some other idiot actor. By an idiot. No, not you. No. I'm saying it was everybody to be you. Yeah. So, yeah. But anyway, my experience of it was these actresses, they would climb over me to get next to him and fondle him. And so I think Harvey would promise the same role to 40 actresses and have 39 dissatisfied customers

who all fucked him willingly. Right, right. And then they didn't get the part and four years later, oh, he raped me. And again, I don't know. I wasn't there. But just my experience of watching the way women were around him

because he was such a kingmaker. I mean, he could, you know, you got a part in a Miramax movie and you, that was a career maker. Because he wasn't a secret, right? Like, everyone knew. I mean, before this came out, you had like Oprah Winfrey,

all these people going on like, we love Harvey. Everyone kind of knew, right? It was like a, they made jokes about it at the Oscars. I didn't know until everybody knew. It came out, yeah.

And now they're really... But I think that him coming out in the bathrobe with his dick hanging out meeting people in the hotel room. That was for sure, that was something that was happening. And the crime really was those people that represented those actresses

and saying, oh, that's just Harvey being Harvey. You want the job, don't you? And dismissing it that way. That's where the, the, it gets really stinky. Sure. You know. Yeah, I mean, honestly. Imagine it's your daughter.

I know. Oh, yeah. With the guy comes out in the bathroom with his dick hanging out. Yeah. You don't say, oh, that's just Harvey being Harvey. No way. You want your job, don't you.

No, I go and I beat Harvey up. Yeah. And now, and nowadays there is that kind of guy doesn't exist in TV and films. If you want to really have a career now, I mean, I'll fucking blow Mr. Beas for a retweet. But there wasn't, there was a, There was an actor went and threatened to kick his ass.

I don't know if it was Brad Pitt or he did it to somebody's girlfriend. And the guy, the actor went over. There is something in the movie industry that I see that, again, I've only been in, I don't even think I've ever even been in a movie. Or if I was, I was cut out of it. But something that I've seen where it's like there's this power dynamic, even if it's not sexual, it's like people are in such fear sometimes on those sets. I cut, and I know there's this famous video of Christian Bale, like screaming at someone

who was really messing him up, and I know that that's got to be extremely frustrating. He's the director of photography. And I know that's got to be extremely frustrating for any actor, any person, I get that. But I watch that sometimes, just as like, you know, a guy that grew up where it was like, you know, unless you're my mom or my dad, like, I. I obviously would be respectful, but it's like, I'm not going to let another man ever fucking talk to me like that. Like, I would punch anybody in the face if they ever spoke to me like that. But this guy was just allowing it to happen.

It's like, oh, my God, that's Christian Bale. There's like this thing sometimes where it's like, oh, but that's just a guy. He's just a guy. He's a very talented guy, and he had a right to be upset. But I always found that even the very little. Well, I'm just saying a right to be upset. But I'm saying, like, he screamed at somebody. I know what happened.

But what was the guy doing? What was moving the light? night shoot, it was very late, and probably people were exhausted. I wasn't there. But maybe the DP was trying to bounce some light in his face to get light. And so in following him trying to do it while he's trying to act. But the thing is, if you're smart, you learn really early on that everybody that's on the set is your scene partner. The guy holding the boom mic is not your enemy. He's trying to record your sound. This is why you want to work with this guy. He's an anomaly. Most actors.

don't see it that way. Right. Like, I'm number one on the call sheet. Yeah. Fuck you. Fuck everybody. Be quiet. You're focused and you're doing your thing and the makeup artist is just trying to get a little

powder on your nose so it doesn't shine. Everybody's your scene partner. The faster you learn it, if you're somebody that's watching this that wants to be in the movie business, know that those people are your scene partners. They're there to everybody's working to try to make something good. I love it. And so, yeah, maybe Christian was really exhausted and he lost his shit. but that cinematographer, the DP,

was just trying to get some light in his eyes, you know, to get some sparkle in his eye. And it was inappropriate. But, you know, one of the most amazing things that if you search all the religious texts, whether it's the Torah, the Quran, the Bible, the most beautiful thing in all of them is the concept of forgiveness.

Yeah, you know. Grace. And grace. Can you give me one second? Can you guys shut the fuck up over there? You're a fucking podcast. Sorry. You're right.

You're right. It was bothering me. The fucking guys are breathing and existing. I know you're breathing. How dare they? Stop blinking. Stop blinking. My water's empty.

This is how you fucking dress. You fucking mad. You're fucking nothing. Sorry. Thank you. I apologize. Yes. And I knew it was on your mind

that you're fucking guys sitting here. Yeah. I. There are collaborators. I mean, the people wearing the headphones right now are like, what the hell? The ears are bleeding. What was Stanley Kubrick like? You know, the best thing for me to do is to tell you to get the full metal jacket diary.

It's a diary that I kept while I was making the film and photographs I took while I was on the set. It's a really fantastic deep dive into what that experience was like. The thing that's really nice about it is it's a 24-year-old boy and his point of view, his vulnerabilities, his fears, his desires, his... How much you regretting down Top Gun? No, not at all. I'm just kidding. Yeah, the Top Gun thing is really important because I made a periodical chart of... Full Metal Jacket Diaries where you should go to get that.

I made a periodical chart because I thought, I wonder if there's a recipe to being a famous movie star. So I made a, this, I put John Wayne and Mel Gibson, the biggest stars around at that time. D.B. Sweeney was. Yeah. John Wayne. D.B. Sweeney asked me for a penny. He's like, what's the recipe? Henry Fonda, you know. And I thought, okay, these are some really big movie stars. What was the movie that made John Wayne into a movie star?

It's stage coach, right? Stage coach, John Arena, Henry Fonda, Grapes of Wrath, Mel Gibson, Road Warrior, Matt Max. Now, is there something, you know, subcategory that you could say, is there something that these characters that they played had in common? And there is. And it made me almost be sick. What was it? And it was justifiable homicide.

You know, John Wayne was killing, they were killing savage Indians, not Native Americans, savage Indians that were trying to. to threaten the pilgrims. Henry Fonda beat a guy's head in with an axe handle. Matt Max was revenging the death of his family. And I thought if that's what it takes in order to be successful in the business, I don't want to have anything to do with it. I want to try to understand why somebody would commit homicide,

but justifiable homicide, that's a path. That's a roadway that leads to death and destruction for everyone. You know, that's not something that I wanted to have any part. And so when Top Gun came, it was, we were killing the ultimate enemy during the Reagan administration, which was the Soviet Union. And I've been to East Germany and I met Russian soldiers and they were no different than my brothers or my sister that went to Vietnam. They were just kids. I smoked at the time. I gave them my American cigarettes and they gave me pins from their uniforms.

They were just kids. Right. And so when I came back, that was the script that was waiting for me. It was Top Gun. and it wasn't a good fit for me. Full metal jacket, on the other hand, which came about six months, seven months later, I forget, exactly, was a much better fit.

Yeah, I get it. Yeah. I respect you for that, man. Well, yeah, because it takes a lot of balls to say, you know what, this isn't right for me, I'm not going to do it for a moral. Most of us wouldn't do that. Yeah, because it was a massive hit. Yeah, I wouldn't.

A lot of money. But Stanley Cooper, I mean, it's a better money. But then so full metal jacket with a big movie too. One of the most iconic movies of all time. Yeah. Yeah. I was also offered back to the future when they fired Eric. Really?

Our friend Eric Stoltz was doing it. Oh, yeah, because I've seen the dailies where there's actually... Another actor, yeah. Wow. And so you turn that down as well. Yeah, but when... Fire your agent. No, it was me.

When you read it, I'm 6-3, you know. And Marty McFly is... He's a... He's a Jack Russell. I'm like a Labrador retriever. I was a wrong fit. I said, if I do this, it's not going to... You could have been Biff, though.

I could have been Biff. That's true? Yeah. And people always say, oh, I loved you and back to the future. And I think that it's some kind of, like, why do you say that? And I'm thinking that they think that I'm Michael J. Fox. But it's Christian Glover that they're... Oh.

And then I get pissed off because it was like, how could you confuse me for Chris? Just because I have a nose and I'm white and I have an angular face, you think that I look like fucking Crispin Glover? Did you ever see him on David Letterman when he goes, I'm strong? Yeah, he's like on drugs or something. Yeah, right? They cut to a commercial, they come back, he's gone. Yeah.

David Letterman threw him off the show. Now, Martin Short, it's one of my favorite characters. I mean, it's like maybe laugh. Jiminy Glick? Oh, my God. Are you friends with him? Why did he do? Oh, this, Crispin.

Yeah. There is a similarity. Yeah, a little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. I can see it a little bit. I'm on team Modeen.

I don't see it a bit. I see it a little bit. The sharp features, I see it a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. I see it a little bit. Were you friends with Marty? Is that why he goes, my kids, Matthew, Medine, and my Godin.

We were at a fundraiser, Diane Keaton was a dear friend, and she invited me to this thing where the night that they're going to execute all the dogs like Chrissy Nome. that's the insider joke I get it yeah I don't get it she shot her dog yeah yeah in her biography she couldn't train the dog

so she shot it right she's a real piece of shit now if she'd have eaten the dog we could maybe forgive her no she I mean you know she did something

really bad if Trump fired her and she didn't even say anything disloyal well she banged out the two the 220 million she set up a company

to make her about her political life cooperative. Yes, yes. And it was like... A quarter of a billion dollars. Wasn't it an allegation about banging Lewandowski? That's what it was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She said she... I mean, don't get me wrong. She sounds like a fun hang. That's not what I'm saying.

She's definitely a good hang, but you're probably not a great person. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a dog person, so I'm with you on that. Where were we? We were talking about Martin Short because he does the whole thing. Yeah, kids are Matthew Medine and Monday. We were at a big fundraiser to save the dogs. The night that they're going to go and execute all the dogs, they'd go.

go in and adopt all the dogs so that they don't get help. But now they have to find a home and they have to give food and, you know, a lot of stuff. So it was a fundraiser for that. And they came over to Marty and they said, Marty, go up and tell some jokes. And he goes, okay, come with me. And I said, I'm not a comedian. I'm not going up there with you. He goes, no, come on, it would be fun.

And we went up and nobody in the audience paid any attention to Marty's jokes. He was dying. Right. It was just like everybody drinking and laughing and stuff, but nobody was listening to Marty's jokes. and he kept turning to me and telling me a joke about those people, which was hysterical. Yeah, yeah. So I was peeing myself laughing. And I think that that was, you know, it was a...

Who else was there also is the other set of twins, Morgan and Mason. So that's James Mason's son. So it was Morgan and Mason and Matthew and Modine. Matthew and Modine. Yeah. It's genius. Yeah. I was on a plane with him, flew to the Grey Cup when Wayne Gretzky and Bruce McNaul owned Toronto Argonauts got to fly to the Great Cup,

the Super Bowl of Canada with John Candy and Marty Short. And Marty Short sat next to John Candy and just made him laugh for two hours. It was the funniest two hours I've ever heard in my life. Everybody was like hanging over the seats. Just trying to hear the next thing. People would be dying, laughing. It would subside for a second.

And then Marty Shore would say, I never saw anybody be funny. He's so funny, dude. He's so nice. He's so funny. He's like one of my favorite. And that character, Jesse, we used to watch it together. and just Jimity Glick and just die like it's just so wait and what are you kidding?

Was he doing that before between the Ferns? He was doing that around the same time. Around the same time. Maybe before, maybe a little before. Yeah. Yeah, there's Galphin. Just a commitment to put on that makeup and be that guy. Yeah.

Amazing. And it's just so funny. What about when it's cutting edge too coming out? It's already come out. They've done like three sequels, but Moria Kelly and I, we made a deal. We'd never do a sequel without each other. Because we aren't. And the next movie, like, we made the cutting edge for like $17 million or something in the 90s,

which is like a $50 or $60 million movie now. They wanted to make the next one for like $8 million. It's like, no, that's not how you do it. Yeah. Everybody gets paid on the second one. Yeah, right. They offered us like $25 grand to come in for three days. Yeah.

And we were like, yeah, go fuck yourself. It was an easy, no. And then they kept making these shitty sequels. But I think that movie could stand a reboot. 100%. I love that movie. What's the most fun you've ever had on a movie set? If you had to just pick one.

Maybe it's not the most successful movie or maybe it is. Lonesome Dove. Real. Lonesome Dove. We got to hang out with Robert Duval, late, great, departed. Bobby D. Then Memphis Bell. And then Memphis Bell.

Yeah. Because actually during Memphis Bell, Matthew had this great place in London. And I don't know if I ever told you this. I think I did. But I was waiting for him. We were going to go get a coffee or something like that. And I came over. And the phone rang.

And I never would answer the phone in somebody's house. But I thought it could be Stanley Kubrick. So I actually I answered the phone And it was him And I could tell from his It was Stanley Kubrick And I was like

And I could tell from his voice That it was Stanley Kubrick And he goes Hello he kind of has a weird Yeah But very distinct I can't do voices But anyway

And he said Matthew And I said no no This is Matthew's friend D.B Swine Yeah And And because I knew it was him He goes

Oh okay very well Would please tell Matthew That Stanley called And I was like And he grew up And I was like Fuck, I had him I had him.

I'm available How did you fake the moon landing? What? Yeah. Come up, Ben, help me. Yeah.

I never told you. You never told them that. Okay. Yeah, I did take your predium too. Yes. Yes. That was Spacey. Yeah.

Do you think, this is something the internet is very curious about that I've noticed. Do you think eyes wide shut was about some sort of Hollywood? Hollywood.

Pedophile ring. That's, if you go on the internet, that's all it is. That movie connected. And then they killed Stanley. Yeah. I mean,

that's what Nicole Kidman thinks. Wow. Yeah, I mean, I think you could Google that. Nicole Kidman thinks Stanley was erased. Because he did kind of... But he wanted to make this movie for a long, long time. And he wanted Michael Hare, who wrote the voiceover for Apocalypse Now. And maybe the best book about Vietnam called Dispatches.

and so Stanley said Michael told me this Michael said he came over he wanted me to read this book Eyes Wide Now what's the real book It's not called Eyes Wide Shed I don't know what the book's called I don't think it's called Eyes White Shet And Michael said I read it

And he said it would have been interesting if you made this movie in the 60s or the 50s when the book came out Today we've lived through the 60s You know we've lived through the sexual revolution It's not really that shocking He goes okay I don't want you to do do this one anyway and he gave him short timers which was the book for full metal jacket and so

then Michael started doing that but he wanted to make that before full metal jacket that was it was something that was really obsessive about it the interesting thing to me about eyes wide shut having been with cubrit for 20 months is that Nicole Kidman is dressed in christianna's Stanley's wife's clothing she's dressed like what do you mean like the way she Dresses. Clothes. Like her, the way she dressed.

Maybe not her actual clothes. But the style. Dress. Exactly. Like her. Right. Wearing Christian's glasses. Christian's paintings are on the walls.

Interesting. Stanley Kubrick, the Jewish kid from the Bronx, used to go down to Washington Square Park, play chess, you know, a little bit of a beatneck, probably smoking a little bit of weed, you know, back in the day. And he makes a movie Paths of Glory. he marries christiana the girl at the end of the movie who's singing to the russian soldiers i mean the

german soldiers remember i don't know if you've ever seen pas of glory yeah a long time ago that's that's his wife christiana interesting wow so she's german he's a jewish kid from the bronx but you're still having no matter that he's jewish and grew up in new york city he still has the puritanical aspects of what it is to be an american right it's kind of it it's in the the air, right? And he marries this German girl. Maybe they're smoking some weed. They're at a party and they come home and they have that conversation that Tom Cruise and Nicole have about like, well, when I was having sex with you, did you ever imagine somebody else? And Christiana would, I don't know if you've ever spent any time in Germany. Sex is something as part of the culture.

It's something that you do. It's something you do recreationally. It's something that provides us with children. You know, it's pornography. They don't have the puritanical. It's not as taboo. Yeah. It's not as taboo. So Christiana says to Stanley, I imagine in my mind, of course I have. Of course I've imagined, you know, somebody else while I'm having sex with you. And I think this blows Stanley's mind. And that's why that book meant so much to him and why he wanted to make it for so long. Interesting. It was the idea of of something that was really haunting him. Kehiel Gubran, who wrote the book, the prophet,

the Lebanese, I don't know what you call him, a prophet, a living prophet, Kehielga Braun. Yeah, sure, yeah. He said, we speak when we fail to be at peace with our thoughts. And I think that most filmmakers are making the same movie over and over again, trying to understand existence, who they are, what are their fears and desires. And I think that that,

eyes wide shut is the big, big part of it is Stanley trying, that he wasn't at peace with his thoughts. And he wasn't at peace with the fact that this woman that he loved and married and lived with his whole adult life could have fantasized about having sex with somebody else while he was. So we can learn a lot about the director by watching the films if you read between the lines like,

Woody Allen, you're going like, how come the female leads always 19? Or younger. Or younger Manhattan. Yeah. It's interesting. Yeah. I never heard it that way before.

It is kind of creepy to go back and look at Allen's movies. It is creepy a little bit. Yeah. And I'm a fan. I'm a fan of the movies. They are funny. It's tough. I like the Cosby show too. Was that too dark and heavy for the...

No, that was beautiful. No, I like that. I mean, look, I mean, these are stories people have never heard before or inside schools. Dude, you're very articulate, well-thought-out, spiritual, man, you know, vegetarian. Thank you. that yeah if somebody if somebody after not everybody gets it yeah

these two guys were a lot of fun they're a lot of fun man really I thought we're going to do 20 minutes get in an hour because we don't want to take you know your time he was actually saying he was going we're going to do 20 minutes we'll keep it about the movie but we actually had like yeah time we just kept going all our fans are going to check it down to 20 minutes yeah right yeah we'll cut it down yeah yeah just cut TV it'll will make

you look like a mega guy will say everything that DB said off camera when you were peeing, retarded, that's all getting in there. And yeah, and we'll and we'll think of a wild, you know, catchy name that, like something.

Our fans, you guys, they're going to love you guys. Go see the movie. Go see Protector. It's in theaters right now. Yeah. Make sure you go see all the films. These guys have done over the years. Two legends came in. Thanks for like gracing us with your presence. I appreciate it.

Thank you. And we have. Yeah, dude, I appreciate it. You guys doing anything else today? Or is it just this on the press run? You want to go to West Garden? Yeah, what do you guys want to do? What's West Garden? West Garden is a... West Gordon is what we call a loophole. West Garden is a massage parlor. And West Garden is something... I think West Garden is a place that if you went there and got a massage, I think you would omit certain things from your diary entry about that day. This is the sponsor of the podcast? West Garden does now sponsor the podcast.

You're all going to be leaving with a... box a little gift basket of oils. And yeah. But yeah, so DB, I'll get you that address to West Garnet and Matthew. I will see you in the temple. Yeah, I'll see you at the garden. I'll see, yeah, DB at the West Garden. I'll see you at the West Garden.

Thanks, guys. All right. Thank you very much. Thank you. Guys, as always, patreon.com slash history hyenas. We have the most fun reading out the names of the newest members of the matriarchy. we would have done it in front of Matthew Modine and D.B. Sweeney, but D.B. Sweeney had to get to a Trump rally.

And Matthew Modine had to go save children in Africa. So they couldn't make it, but they were great. And I hope you guys enjoyed that episode. All right. So welcome to the Patreon, to the matriarchy, Harley Zeiss. Then we got Facing Mecca while I take it in the South Bank. Hashtag solidarity. Weissongxi-Shien.

Drexler. Wow. I thought he was going to get on. No, no, no, no. All that, you make the call. Say it again. Facing Mecca while I take it in the South Bank. Hashtag solidarity.

If we take the side, you don't need the hashtag solidarity. That's the thing. That's why it Drexler. All right. But it is a very good name. It's a very good name. Shout out to you. Listen.

You just didn't need the hashtag solidarity. It's one of those things where every year around this time, Marchman, is college time, a team that's on the bubble doesn't get in, and there's speculation about it, and there's a conversation about it. I would say this one's on the bubble. It didn't get in, and we can have a conversation about it in the comments. And you just came up with a new one on the bubble. On the bubble.

He's on the bubble. He's on the bubble. And he didn't get in. He didn't get in. He's the last four out. Then we got Carmine's Leaky Roof Repair Company, quietly employing catapult candidates since 1988. Very good. Very good.

Then we got Liv MF and Cerna, Brandon Tester, Chad Braun, UFC 326, Timie No Breaks versus Renee Good, live on Paramount Plus. Okay. I don't even know what that. All right. Oh, well, Timmy No Break's is a comedian, and then Renee Good is the woman who was killed in Minneapolis. Oh, no good. Yeah, no good. Yep, okay, yeah.

Latta 14. But the kid Timi No Break's is funny. Chrissy D. and Yanni P. slap their, hold on. Chrissy D. and Yanni P. slapped their PTO Third Reich dreams. Sorry, victim of bad read. Cheesehead Monkey. Okay.

Kid maybe he's a fan of the Packers. Surprised Ice Agent, walked into Juan. You got a 14 Put it on the list Put on the list Okay I mean it's just What can you do

So that's another bubble team That made it That's just you I mean I wouldn't even call that a bubble I would call that just got on there Then we got sniffing squeak feet Moves my meat Put them on the list

Yeah you like He likes little feet Yeah it's just Nestor Mattoot Mick twisted Chrissy the hammertoed shark It's what it is cuz That's funny

Hammerhead Noah Johnson Kirby Matthew Oswald Chris E. Yanni P. Put it in me or on me. Okay.

Colin Dockertie. L.G. Wayne, Sean Sheehan. $3. Bob, not gay, but I like fat bitches. Okay. Chris Tudor,

Mr. A. Z.T. I have cash app and I'm not black. Chicken figure. Chicken figure. That is a rarity. And it's an award. Chicken finger is something.

Yeah. It's a good one. Five inches of snow. expected or as my grinder profile would say 8 inches okay okay uh muzzy father chris musy father christmas

a.k.a. Sandal claws you got to listen you got to do the right thing. Yeah. DC I think even Matthew Modine would approve he might even put that one on. DC 2000 Italian squeak a.k.a. chicken cucklet

okay? Wilson X Dr. Ouchie meets upgraded my subscription to know more about racism. It's all jokes on that level. Everything's a joke. But it is on the list. Yeah, he's got to go on the list.

And I would say probably a contender. Contender. Yeah. Yeah, so you've got to upgrade those tiers, folks. De Rio Golden Chikla. Josh Roberts, Lewis Moreno, A-Lack, Juan Mira, gang banged an 80-style point.

called 16 ham candles. She said of 16 candles. Saw O's Perlman. Now I can't find my wallet. Okay. That happens. Yeah, what can you do? Derek the Honduran.

Derek the Honduran, welcome. One of Knicks boys. Yeah. Garrett Hawkins, Connor Durkin, Alp. Caraboga. Grock, cuck. Like Jesus, Chris got the whole warts in his ass. I don't get it.

During February, I always think about what Jeffrey Dahmer to those poor Leroy's hashtag Black Lives in Battle. Okay. You went for it. Listening at work, now my glue has cemented the register closed. Okay. Drexler. Funny.

Come on in, Eileen. Jesus. Jesus Christ. Because come on Eileen. Come on, Eileen. Yeah. Okay. Disbarage of family.

I walked into one. Can't do that. Colonize my colonize my colonel in until the poops turn white. put them on the list. Okay, there we go. Get the catapult now. Yeah. Colonized my colonized like colonized. Until the poops turn white.

I think we got what we call a contender. Then we got meat needle. Meat needle. You like that chicken finger. Okay. Then we got first comes love, then comes marriage. Why is there a Leroy in my baby carriage? Put them on the list.

It's what it is. Another contender. Another contender. See what happens. You have to keep listening to the list, folks, because you never know when it's really going to heat up. You don't know what's going to get. Because now we don't know who's going to win.

No, we don't. Not a squeak from the left. I vote to the Reich. Matt McCarthy. George Bush dodged my shoes. DJT fondled my shooter until I glued and said woo. He went for it. Okay.

Jose Cruz. Pronouns are hey slash babe. Call me Sal volcanic asshole. Okay. Alexander Sharp. John. Letting young Sheldon raise my daughters to be autistic lesbians so I don't have to throw hands with a real man.

List. Inventive. Yes. Yes. Letting young children raise my daughter is also okay. Yeah, usually the long ones. There's no payoff. That was a big payoff.

Perry Smith, Lex rated, LeRoy's Medicaid Pirates Plan. Small, yeah. Small Cox outbreak in the black community after Asian man runs through Carnival Cruise. Okay? Okay. Deep throat cockboat.

Jason Hornsby. Emperor Skid Marcus Hamroidius Good one Building time machine To bankrupt Oscar Schindler Okay

Ways on Gien Crazy He wants to go back And prevent him From saving a few Yeah Unbelievable Inventive walked into one

Okay Um The Andrew Huxstable Orville made a Leroy red And back Hurt popcorn

Went for it Yep Derek B Mapusi Aminarak Dylan Burroughs Kerr, Aunt Jemima's court appointed attorney. Latter 14. Yeah.

What do I do with that? Nick, Nick, Nick said to put it on. Yes, so Nick Matthew Mojee says to put it on, yes. Eric Jspin, Adam Alberg, gang bang. Okay, all right. Jesus Christ, this fucking Christ. Sorry, Jesse. Cam, AJ Greenwald, Atten, Panoria, Sacalamaru, Miscoe, John, make her school.

Jesus, bad, 14. Sorry, I told you, won't read those. Epstein's Roblox account. Nick loved it. Yeah, Nick liked it. Fucker. Epstein's Roblox account? They say you had one.

Loud 14. Okay, loud, yeah. Henny DeVito, Tristan Hogan, Jonathan Guzman, Andrew O.G. Shohei ate the bat Now some ting Wong Okay Way's from she ain't Good but it's a walked into one

Walked into one yep What can you do Sharp farts Chicken finger Abigail Spanberger Eats ass That's what she does Yeah I guess somebody's just

Calling out a friend Fiddle Faddle My roast beef saddle Until I doggy paddle Fiddle Fiddle from the JFK's Yeah

FivK's vitamins Yeah Thomas Osborne, big candy, Maple Monkey insulated my igloo with my own goo. Very good. Drake Peeler, squeeze and poop, Johnny, Chris Cal, and then last but not least, I ate my dog's ass while having a cold sore, and now he has anal herpes.

Just a fact. I want to retroactively put the igloo as a Drexler because that needed a little bit more. Maple Monkey insulated my igloo with my own glue. Yeah, okay. That's very good. All right. So the list today. Tough list.

We do have a tough list today. So we have the contenders so far. A surprised ice agent walked into one. Sniffing squeak feet moves my meat. Muzzy Father Christmas, aka Sandal Clause. Upgraded my subscription to know more about racism. Colonize my colonize my colonized my colonn until the poops turn white. And then first comes love, then comes marriage.

Why is there a Leroy in my baby carriage? Okay. So, okay. start from the beginning. A surprised ice agent walked into one. Any other day, you have been Drexlered, but it's not our fault. It's not your fault. It's just way close.

What happens? It's just... Hall of Fame player. Hall of Fame player. Original Dream Team NBA 50 Greatest, but he played in the air of Michael Jordan. It's just what it is. Muzzy Father Christmas, aka Sandal Clause. Very good.

We're going to chicken finger you. Yeah. It's how it goes. Upgraded my subscription to know more about racism. We're going to Drexler it. It could have won, but it got followed up by two biggies. We all know what's going on. Colonize my colonize my colonel in until the poop turns white.

We got what we call a runoff. Yep. And then we got first comes love, then comes marriage. Why is there a Lurie in my baby carriage? But then I also made a mistake. We also have Aunt Jemima's court appointed attorney. Yeah, we have that one. Is that?

Do you want to Drex? Do you want to keep that in the? Those three or is Aunt Jemima's court-appointed attorney not going to make it? I think that's a little, that's borderline walked. Okay. So it's more of a chicken figure. And maybe and Sabrina the Hohena, we can put that in the Walked Into One awards at the end of the year. That one can go into the Walked Into One awards.

So it is between first comes love, then comes marriage. Why is there a Leroy in my baby carriage? Yeah. And then colonize my colonize my colonel until the poop turns white. I, these are two very good ones. I'm leaning heavily towards one. I'm leaning heavily towards, but again, when we have these two, we got to do a vote. But I'm leaning absolutely towards colonized till my poop turns white.

And I'm leaning towards Leroy and the Baby Carrier. Wow. This is what it is. This is what happened. Vote off. All right. So, Jesse? Okay. So I'm leaning, I'm going with colonize my poop because it's gay and racist. So you got a double whammy. It's a double whammy.

Okay, Nick. I'm going to go with colonize because that's all true. Hey, three to one. Make sense. And call it. So congratulations. colonize my colonize my colonize my colon's white you are the winner it's also i think if any of our gay fans out there you could walk up to a guy at a bar tonight and say i want you to colonize my colonize my colonize my

colonize my colonized a funny until my poop turned white is is is a 10 out of 10 go to uh thank you um as always go to history hyenas is back uh dot com see your name up in lights you have the ppw the pseudo penis of the week and we're going to continue over at patreon.com slash history hyenas