History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - Men for Mamdani | History Hyenas

Episode Date: October 30, 2025

The Hyenas come in hot with tons of off-the-beam riffing before diving into a wild text thread reading. Things take a turn into Project Gateway, and finally New York City takes center stage as the nation’s focus shifts with socialism on the horizon. The boys break it all down like only they can. Support our sponsors: Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/HYENAS. Application times may vary. Rates may vary. For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, ED, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/HYENAS. http://lucy.co/hyenas Upgrade your denim game with Rag & Bone!. Get 20% off sitewide with code HYENAS at www.rag-bone.com #ragandbonepod#comedy #Podcast #History Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas/ Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit.ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0 Follow us Cuz! 🙆🏻‍♂️ Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ 🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ 🐕More Hyenas Website: www.historyhyenasisback.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/historyhyenas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HistoryHyenas Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/historyhyenaspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Guys, we've got a great episode for you. We were going to talk about some wild science stuff, but we just went completely off the rails, vintage hyenas. If you want to hear the wild, wild, wild, wild science stuff, go to patreon.com slash history hyenas. And then come see us November 12th at the Crown Hill Theater in Brooklyn. That is our show for the New York Comedy Festival live history hyena show, Crown Hill Theater, Brooklyn, New York, November 12th, 8 p.m. show. Tickets are moving fast. So go to History Hyenasis is back.com and get those tickets. and you can see me doing stand-up November 14th at the Wind Creek Event Center

in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, and November 15th in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania at the Met, history and news is back.com or Christycomedy.com. See me in Bozman, Montana, November 22nd, and Stanford, Austin, West, Nyack, San Francisco, Calgary, Royal Oak, etc. Janus Pappas Comedy.com. Now, enjoy this episode. We go off the beam, and we have a good time, and you're going to learn about a very cute kid who was a genius, and like we said, more at patreon.com slash history hyenas. What's up, everybody?

Welcome to another episode of History Hyenas, Chris Stefano and Yannas Pappas. I'm off the beam today. I feel tired. I feel hungover. I feel fat. I feel bloated. I'm a girl, so I'm wearing oversized sweater.

And I, please, if you don't, if you think that I look fat on camera, please don't write in the comments because my heart and brain can't take it. I'm 220. We're the 220 twins right now. That's what we are. We're twinning right now.

You know, like some girls cycle up with their periods. We're cycling up with our weights. We're both 220. I got on the scale this morning, and it was post-shit. Yeah. And I'm 220. Well, you also had- Put that into context.

I think some of the biggest heavyweights fight at 220. That's what it is. But I'm not muscular like that, so you can just assume right now my gut's big, my penis is small. Yeah, gut big, penis small, and you got banged up last night with your neighbor, and you fell at 1 o'clock in the morning in your driveway at 50 years old, and then you walked into your house drunk and ate some sandwiches. I fell on his driveway, and I caught. You could sue him for that.

I could shoot him for that. I was so drunk. This is how I know I'm getting old. I fell flat on my face forward. Right. I didn't get injured, though, because God was looking out for me. Because I technically should, these should be ripped up. Right.

Because I fell on concrete and I just have a low scratch in there. Right. What happens is, what's good is when you get fat gives you a little cushion. A little cushion, yeah. So you fall and you're like inflatable. But you fell exactly like your toddler would fall. I would felt like my toddler forward. Forward, yeah.

Forward. And it was, it's good to be banged up on bourbon because I didn't feel anything. I think. I'm a little more injured than I think. Yeah, and I think that it's one of those things where that visual of you getting thrown out of your bed by your wife because you were snoring and probably trying to have sex when she didn't want to have sex

is just funny to me and then going into the basement with a sandwich that you put too much mustard on. I was squeezing mustard out there and I did not try to have sex with my wife. You did not? I did not. I just wanted to go to sleep. Yeah.

She was just angry at me. And that's, I think it's understandable. But you know what? I didn't care. You didn't care. I didn't care at all because I was in a good state of mind and I had a good time. Is she still mad at you? I had a good country night.

I just sat by the fire and talked to a white guy with a beard. It's country. Yeah. It's country live. Having a country night, and I like country music. Country music's not, there's no profanity in it. Yeah. Country music is just good.

Yeah. They're singing about, you know, just like wholesome things. You're on a big, no profanity. And they're not cursing. And they just sing about the good old days. Yeah. Things are just a little different. It's just a little simpler, a little different.

It's just what's going on my car radio, what's going on in my beer. There's always jeans involved. Yep. And that's what it is. It's a car, it's jeans, and a girl. That's it what it is. Now, do you think that it would be a nice touch if the Zach Brown band was playing outside ICE detention facilities?

I think it would be nice. I think it would be nice. Check it that. Yeah, I think that would be nice. Are there any liberal country singers? No. Is that like an oxybora? No.

Nobody goes like, I'm coming. Coming back from voting for Hillary, and things got weird when climate change hit me. God damn going on a float till it to protect the Palestinian people. Just a beer and talk about freedom for Palestine. It's just not going to happen, right? It's just all red, white, and blue. It's all about get out of my country. Yeah, it's all about because what.

Country music is usually played by actual men. Right. That's the thing. Right. So liberal guys just aren't real guys. No. No, I'm kidding. I don't even know if I'm liberal or Republican.

I'm in the middle. We're soy boys. We are soy boys. We make fun of both sides. We are soy boys. And I will tell you that I am proud to say that today I ordered breakfast for our group in here today. And when they asked me what was the name for the order, I said, Zoron. And then she yelled out Zoron in front of everyone.

And people clapped. Yeah, Zoran, he's on the national stage. People outside of New York know who he is because he's the future of the Democratic Party. It's what it is. It's the only, I mean, these tend to be the only Democratic candidates who are getting any footing and following. You know, what's his name from California's trying? He's cursing. Gavin Newsom?

Yeah, you like him because he's cursing. Well, no, I do like him because he's handsome. You do like that. I am a little bit of a girl here because I am very, very, very depressed. Like, I just, as soon as my feet hit the floor today and I felt fatter than usual, I put on a huge comfy sweater and sweatpants and I just sat down. I swear, I sat down and I made myself a tea and I sat in my room and I watched news like I was having my period. And you also like a girl love autumn the best and you like to fall. I love autumn the best. And I'm telling you today,

I was literally put on my sweatshirt and I was, even though I don't have long enough hair, I was going to put my hair up in a ponytail. I went like that. I know you're off the beam today because whenever you wear those old new balance I know you just threw them on and you have a bedhead spot So I know you didn't shower this morning Yeah You have a bed heads

Are these crusty these ones? When you throw on those crusty ones Yeah When you don't Are they cute though or no They're cute Although the color is a little Not my style

Yeah It's like shit brown Yeah But I know when you're when you're feeling cute You're gonna put on some of the free stuff You got from Kiff Yeah So on a cute day

You're gonna put on those Adidas Right And you When you have a cute day You've show but you didn't shower this morning, did you? I didn't shower.

Because you have a bedhead spot. I got a bedhead spot. What I did is I tried to shower very, well, I took, what, a half shower? You're depressed. Yeah, I tried to take, what I did is I rinsed off. Yeah. I rinsed off because the construction guys, I noticed that the construction guys were coming up the driveway, so I had to go up and rinse off because I don't like to open the door.

I don't like them to see me like this. I want the construction guys to see me ready to go. At least kind of cute. I know I can't be super cute today, but I, least wanted to be relatively cute for the construction guys there's one question to know i think you know when it comes to if a man's man is how they wear the towel after they get out of the shower now do you wear your towel above your chest yeah down to your waist or do you tie it around your waist well what i do is that first of all i wrap it around my head that's what you got to get

your hair i got to dry my hair and then i yeah i wear it above my i rent like that do you think that's how a girl does it right think guys who are voting for zoran get out of the shower and they wrapped the towel under their armpits? 100%. A hundred percent. Guys above for Zoran put the towel under their armpits. They do, right? 100%. Could somebody make that a visual?

Somebody make that meme. One of our fans, please, because I voted for Zoran and have them, have it be a guy with the towel on their head and under their armpits and voted for Zorat. So Zoran right now is completely blowing out Nurtis Silwa and Andrew Kwan. Who is Jim Walden? It's just, he's taking 2% of the vote. The narcissism, right, of like, Sliwa and Walden. I understand Slewa, you know, they say it's tough on crime.

I get that, but it's like, dude, you know you guys aren't going to win. Cuomo has the best chance, so it's like you don't actually care about the city. Yeah, I was in Tulsa this weekend. It might be nice to live in a city right now where you can afford a house and know that your mayor race doesn't matter. Right. The mayor race in New York say it really matters. Right. All the international business comes through.

We have the UN here. I mean, the mayor of New York is one of the most powerful positions in the country. The mayor of Tulsa is not. It's not. No, the mayor of Tulsa can just be a guy named Steve. I don't even think you need to submit your last name when you're on for mayor. Who's the mayor? You just go, David.

David. Yeah, I think the mayor of Tulsa was actually the general manager of the comedy club you were doing. Probably very close. Yeah. By the way, a great comedy club, great owner. I love that spot. The Looney Bin. Everyone should do it if they're a big.

Tulsa Looney bin. Tulsi Luna Bitt is a great club The owner is awesome We hung out He gets panic attacks Which made me like the guy Yeah I did the loony bin on Staten Island

It was in the back of a bowling alley That was the only other loony bin I knew Yeah The one in Staten Island That actually had real barb wire Yeah remember it had real barb wire You know you know how fucking Franks and beans

You have to be To put real barb wire on a stage Where black people perform Yeah They could get injured Yeah And I say black people Because they like to move around

Yeah You know they don't just They perform They're very, they act out. And there was actual real fucking barbed wire on the stage. I remember that was a place that I used to do all the time. A young Pete Davidson knows used to do that. Shout out the owner, Vic, remember Vic?

He might be at Sol Joel's wedding. He might be at Soljo's wedding. Soljo's wedding is going to be, there will be people from my brother's school at Soljo's his best man may be special. Yeah. It's just one of our good friends. But it's going to be good to see Scott Chamberlain there. Yeah.

I'm looking forward to Soljo's wedding. Yeah, we're getting very inside baseball down, but you'll see, you'll see in March we will post pictures of the wedding that we are going to in Pennsylvania. Here's the thing is he's going to be promoting his own wedding. Yeah. By sending out, he's going to be sending out emails, group emails to senior women's groups. It's what it is. So he's promoting his wedding like it's a show and he's actually doing it in his venue.

Yeah. He's getting married in his venue. And make absolutely no mistake, Janice and I were invited to the wedding and we will be asked the day before to do a show. We'll be doing a show and it should do a skit. And I am going because Soljol's wedding is going to be. fucking fun. Now guys, if you're out there, like ladies, how do you feel? Are you off the beam? Do you feel cute today? Do you feel super cute? Because I'm just having a day. I woke up. I told you on us. I'm sorry, it's texting Sergio this morning. I said, I don't want to do anything today. I just want to, let me tell you what I texted Sergio. This is a real text I sent to Sergio. I said, because I was up this morning, him and I were talking. And I go, where was it? Well, where you find it? I'll just say, you just said, when I And as soon as I landed, you texted me, this is just Chris and how his brain works.

I got a text at 7 in the morning. Now, you're on your way home, big, big, and I said big. And he said, I mean, you got to be happy, big, big. And then he said, Cuzz, what do you want to do tomorrow? And then he says, if you want, because they're having a Halloween. Oh, yeah, can't say that. Get that out. You got to, yeah.

We're having a Halloween party. You got to cackle that part. today big well then they can always search where a Halloween party was so just cut this whole part okay fine yeah but then you said you want to do something big with the Kigs Halloween big big big I said let me think of a good one

and then I said wow wow because our text are just big and wow yeah that's what it is you said well let me ask the wife then you sent me the flyer yeah but before that I gave you a really good beam cast oh and shout out Shout out Perea Coffee Company in, it's like a nice little chain.

It's really super cute. Where is it? It's succute. It's in Tulsa. Okay. It's cute. Perea is a Greek name. It means friends, friend group.

And they're big hyena fans. Wow, thank you. Long-time listeners. And I also was looking through some old, like, pictures and stuff of us on the flight home. And I want to shout out, even though I don't know if they listen to the show anymore, Nora's cupcakes. Do you remember Nora's Cupcake? Yeah, they built us a high school. Hina Blood Cakes.

So I would like, if Nora's Cupcake still listens to the show, or if you, I would love for you to start making us cakes again. Yeah, girls, are you in or are you at all? Nora's Cupcakes, where's Norris Cupcakes? And where's Lisa Johnson? Yeah, where's Lisa Johnson? I mean, Norris Cupcakes, did we lose you to? Are you garbage or are you back?

Yeah, and where's Raphael de Luca? And where's Jesse the Truffle Pig who made beers in his sink for us? Yeah, where are the old fans? Where are you still there or not? Where's takes it past the uvula Marie? Yeah, yeah, where are you guys? Sabrina the Hyena is the only one who's still with us. Where's, um, Richie, what was his name?

Richie, uh, the kid for, the kid, the kid who tried to set up with Vanitya. The Bitcoin kid. Yeah, yeah, from Kansas City. Oh, yeah. He, he, the kid, he had like a, um, he had like a penthouse apartment. Yeah, we need to start meeting the fans. We're going to start taking it. No, we're not going to do that. No, I'm saying, like, on Patriot. Yeah. At patreon.com says history, I ain't, you don't think we start beating the fans on YouTube? We should not be meeting the fans. I want to do it. Come on. I want to meet you guys. I know. You're always big. You know, that was more of a safe play, I think, five to seven years ago. Now, since COVID, everyone's roof's a little leaky.

I want to meet you. Yeah, kids have gotten leaky. Yeah. So I don't want to meet any of you, you fucking leaked out, kids. Yeah, so tell, what would you? Because you had a nice, freaking beamcast. Can you find it? I'm still looking for the beam cat.

Yeah, my brain doesn't work the same, and I'm starting to get a little nervous that I can't recall the words that I'm thinking of, like, quickly anymore. Does that happen to you? It happens to me all the time. You boys still happens. You can't think of the word. So what is it? Is it just being getting older?

Are we tired? What do I think with you, it's depression. You're depressed today. I'm depressed. I really am. I'm depressed. And I got, can I just be honest with you? Yeah.

I've been. You want. Yeah. I want what I've been saying from the beginning since we started this podcast. I want two words. Yeah. The best part about this podcast now is you get really comfortable saying things

that are going to get you in trouble. It's what it is. Yeah, so maybe let's just whatever. I'll just talk about something else. Why don't you hand me the keys and let me back this one out of the driver? Yeah, can you please? Because I'm still actively drunk right now.

Yeah. And I just feel tired. Yeah. And I just feel depressed. Yeah. And I really just don't like where things have turned out for me the last few days.

Because you need a gumane. I need a good. Gumane and I want to take a stroll with you. Yeah, I want to stroll with you too, but let's be honest. The Italians figured it out, you know, and I like the Italians because they have principles, right? They go, God first, country second, family third, or family before country, and then Gumade, right after that? Yeah.

And then after that, it's sauce. Yeah. Can you make a sauce? But Gumare is fourth on the list. Yeah. Those are their principles. Yeah, wait. And here, I know the, I know the beam can.

you we were talking about with you hold on I know I can get I can get us there yeah and well he finds I'm going to tell you what we're going to be talking about today we're going to be talking about something very very interesting for a lot of you conspiracy nuts out there the the internet loves conspiracy and what we're going to find out we're going to talk about a little guy named Yitzhak bentoff guy with a real big big big Jew brain yeah he's got we talk as one of those special Ashkenazi Jews self-taught kind of inventories and mystic who was just brilliant and also really thought that through meditation you could expand your consciousness all you had to do was get into the vibration which I think was 40 hertz is the

magic number where you tune into the hum of the universe and then you could time travel and things like that and then the CIA used some of his findings from his book yeah and started doing a program where they were trying to get these people to meditate and remote view yeah they could see where Russian submarines were going. Right. And now but now it's antiquated because we have satellites so we don't need it. So it pulled, it was called the Stargate project. But me and Chris were talking

on the phone. We're going to get into a big. We're going to get into a big. And what we could use remote viewing for is when you can see things in other places is it'd be nice to see Sidney Sweet. Latif 14. It'd be nice to take a peek of that at night. Yeah, it gives a shit about Russian submarines. I want to see her feet in her bed. It's just what it is, cuz. So if you can meditate,

you can pull that up for me. That'll be great. Because I want to slurp or poop. It's what it is. It's what it is. Sometimes I have to go back. Nick, they did that big. You want to see Sidney's feet big, right? Big, big, big.

Yeah. So I asked, last week, I asked Janus. I texted him and just out of nowhere, it was 9.30 in the morning. I said, what's going on? Cause, how are you doing? And he wrote, this is his response. He goes, we got brains wired for survival and we are social animals. So we have biological need for psyche to develop normally.

These are chemically based. Those need to be turned on by safety of tribe or caregivers. And then I wrote, oh, wow, oh, wow. And then he goes, you could see funny people what the subtext of their personality is. It's accept me, love me. It's maladaptive. But when alchemist for art works great. When alchemized.

When alchemized for art works great, like all pain, which is a part of our condition, art is an outlet to alchemize pain and connect with others. And bond that feels safe. I wrote, wowie. Then he goes, laughter and comedy is defined as disarming fear. So that's the stew like grass grows some shit. It's an antidote for fear and is born for fear. That's why somebody isn't funny because it's not fearful. Underneath it's just cognitive pattern reading for jokes.

Because through understanding and accepting, we find peace in the equality of our living organism and realize all material competitive needs are just mirage reflections of the fears of the ego in a dissenting reality that barely even exists beyond constantly changing energy. The only thing that exists is the moment, which is, infinitely small. Everything else behind and in front only exist in mind, which does not exist beyond being energy waves. So existence is just an infinity, an infinitely small moment. Everything else is created by the mind and doesn't really exist as we define existence. The funniest people that make you laugh have fear underneath the timing and delivery. Ever noticed that?

And I wrote beancast. So have you ever thought about how infinitely small existence actually is? This is something that actually Aristotle, like, contemplated, right? Yeah. So, I don't know if we could pull it up, but what Aristotle said about the moment. So he goes... You think Aristotle was super cute in the flash? I think he's super cute, but he did like slaves. That was one thing he did like.

But slaves weren't black back then. They were white, so it's okay. They were all flavors. It was Benetton back then. But, yeah. He would take whatever. He was big-time believer in slavery. Right.

So he just thought it was right, you know. And, you know. Okay. So that was one thing that I think he got wrong, but he got a lot right. But what he said is like, yeah, we're talking about existence is this, is the moment. The only thing that actually exists is the moment. And the moment is infinitely quick. Right.

It goes by so quick. I mean, it's like, it's not even a second. Like, and then every moment's over. And then also all of this morning, all the things we talked about that all doesn't exist anymore. And then the future in front of you doesn't exist. So the only, you're traveling through this infinitely small moment. And so that's existence is this infinitely small moment. So we mostly don't exist.

Just like when you think about how the body's made up of mostly water. Right. But you can see it as a form. We're mostly water, which makes you go like, we're mostly not a form. Is that why I'm always... Is that why I'm always hard in the winter? Yeah. So Aristotle, it was called the paradox of now.

So he acknowledged a puzzle related to the nature of time. It appears to consist of three parts, the past, the present, the future. He identified a problem with each of these components. The past no longer exists. The future does not exist. yet and the present of now is a boundary between the non-existent past and future and now

is instantaneous and vanishes. So it also seems to be nothing. So he was basically saying like he's basically saying existence is so much closer to non-existent than existence that it's almost a car. Because now you're getting so bad you can see your nipples to your shirt.

So that's a really good thing also when you're when you need to calm down is just think about just grab your hands. It's just when you need to First of all, self-soothing's really nice. Self-soothing. And you're jacked at the top, by the way. You're a fucking big kid.

Yeah, you're a man. I'm 220. I will fucking throw you straight into a pipe. You hear that, you mom, Donnie? Yeah, I'll fucking pick you up and throw you. I'm a 220 kid. I'm six foot. I'm 22.

I'm not a small guy. I'm not scared of ghosts anymore. Not anymore. You're yonest. Because you're 6-1-2-20. Why do you need to pee with the water running? I do. And I can't go in my basement this weekend.

I got scared again. Yeah, because you're too big to be scared. I'm scared. You need a little roof cleaner and find out what's going on and what tried to attack you while you were taking me shit. So, and I got really sad last night. So what really makes me feel comfy and good is I go on goldbelly.com, which can send you sweets from all over the world. And I go to Savannah's Candy Kitchen and I order German chocolate cake large. And it's coming on Wednesday and it makes me happy.

So you're way off the beam. I'm way off the beat. So we're not talking about eating Mediterranean food every day right now. Right now, you're doing dessert first. You're dessert first, Chrissy. Well, we are going to go get Mediterranean food after you get your roof clean. We're going to go to... And we're going to get some chocolate croissants.

Yeah, we get some Greek know what we're going to do. Do you want to go to Van Lewin? Yeah. What we do is we're going to go get Greek food. And then at the end, for a dessert, I'm going to have yogurt and I'm going to get a little baklaba. So I'll find a way to get Greek desserts that have honey. Yeah. And then we're going to get a little Van Luy.

How do you think your blood pressure is going right back up to 300? Where are you probably? I probably, well, the blood pressure is probably okay, but the cholesterol has definitely ticked up and the weight has definitely ticked up. Right. But it's interesting because Jasmine, when she sees me with my shirt off last night, she thinks beefier is better. Women like beef. Yeah. But I don't like that because I know the other guys in my group chat don't want to see that.

Yeah. Because that's what I really like to do is I like to get myself into a good shape and I like to send guys pictures of me with no shirt on. And I like to do it at 3 o'clock in the morning. So when they wake up, it's the first thing they see. But what I've learned, I've learned that. that the women say that are women say that they're lying right i had an ex-girlfriend and i figured it out because she admitted it to me what she say she because i would always go i'm way fat and disgusting you can look at old pictures i mean let's pull up some old pictures i was disgusting but

we throw some up right here jessey knows my ex-girlfriend the one i had for eight years she would always say i like you better like that and then she admitted to me that the reason she liked me better like that is because she wanted me unattractive for other people it's what it is so when our wives say that we look good because my wife says that to me i'm i always say that to her too guys like I've looked fat and she's like you look great what she wants is for me to be disgusting outside the house got him so they're just saying that to trick us they're going oh you look great but really I'm a fat piece of shit but then how but then but isn't it but then isn't it not isn't it not good for our wives because then we're ugly and fat for them no because they like us they don't

care women don't think of us women aren't visual like we are right they don't mind they don't give a shit on top of them they just they want us contain they just want stability they just like you know what they're prison guards that's what it is it's just it's just control it's my in a prison yeah yeah yeah yeah that's what it is yeah that's and my wife would say i look great and she enjoyed fucking fucking fucking that that's what she was i look like a white load i like a pasty white load because that looks like a picture of the newspaper of someone who's just got arrested for child porn i i look like yogurt with hair in it it's what it is yeah it looked like a fucking faggie and somebody sprinkled hair on top yeah it's what it is yeah i'm just a disgusting pig with a really horrible tattoo yeah because i got drunk and i got that tat to it was 50 bucks yeah it's 50 bucks i made some bad decisions too cause yeah now scroll down a little bit jesse from our in our conversation if you can see i want you i want to play the limba laws i just want to play it real quick and i want us to zoom in on nick's face what's the limbaugh you oh you didn't listen to this one i sent it go ahead yeah uh by the way sam darnald listens to this podcast

big shut up sam don't he's having a good season oh yeah go down yeah that's me you go down our group chats are funny no funny go down go down keep going keep going i just sent it to you randomly. I just saw it when you were scrolling up. Yeah, well, we just saw who that was. Scroll it down, yeah. Do not put that on screen. Not put that on screen. Yeah. That one we can't see. And then we saw this, yeah, and then just scroll up real quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we saw

that, yeah. Historic St. Anne's Catholic Cathedral in Buffalo, New York was sold for $250,000, and will now be converted to a mosque, an Islamic center. That's okay. I'm okay. If you get the date and time of that, you could know that was Chrissy studying how we had to take back Christendom. Because I got to tell you right now, People don't think about this, but let me tell you something.

You need to have insurance. You need to have life insurance. Because life insurance is the only way. And you know me, if I trust anything, I trust Greeks. Yeah. And Ethos is a trustworthy company that disrupts the traditional life insurance industry. I'm not saying they're a Greek company, but it is a Greek name. It's a Greek name.

Yeah. Now listen, if you're the breadwinner of your family and you will make sure. Which you definitely are. I am the breadwinner. And as well am I. So are you. I am the breadwinner. Yeah, and if you're the breadwinner, you want to make sure your loss of income is covered,

like keeping up with your mortgage, tuition, other bills. Like, you just need to make sure your family's... Yeah, you got to just make sure, you know, everything. You got to just, if you're the breadwinner, you got to have insurance, you got to think of this. You're the only one who's thinking of this, so you absolutely have to do it, even though, you know, but you'll be told that your job isn't as important as, you know, making breakfast for the kids. And we have to do this. And we recorded New York City, and if you believe that the city's going to get a lot more dangerous

and there's a better chance of something happening to you, you definitely want to get a little insurance. Now, if you've applied for life insurance before without mentioning specific companies, oh, that's, sorry, that's something that they told us to say as hosts. But I'm just going to finish reading it. So talk about how confusing, annoying, or tedious the process was and what you wish went differently.

So let me tell you how tedious, annoying, and confusing the process was of when I mentioned, when I tried to apply for another life insurance policy. I got to tell you, baby, gorgeous, it was tedious, annoying, and confusing. Well, that's the good thing about ethos is it's not tedious, annoying, and confusing. It's very easy. There's no complicated process. It's 100% online.

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Get your free quote at ethos.com. That's ethyenas. That's ethyenas. Application times may vary. Rates may vary. Yeah. Cuzz, have you noticed how super cute Jesse looks lately? Because Jesse's been looking like he's a productive member of society. It all starts with his hair.

It all starts with his hair. He started using Hymns, which is a prescription hair loss treatment with ingredients that worked. He got chewable kind. He got the syrums. And I think he may have even gotten sprays. I don't know. But his hair looks amazing.

What Jesse's doing is he's taking hymns for his hair and he's using his brother's discount at proper cloth. That's what he's doing. And he's getting free jackets. What were you using? Were you using the chewables? The syrups? Yeah, the chewables.

The chewables. Because the kid, Jesse, likes chewables. That's what he likes is Flintstone vitamins like me. I like him chewable. Sometimes I chew the kid's gummies. You ever do that? Yeah, yeah. Sometimes I'll take their vitamins because they're delicious.

They just are. So Hymns offers a convenient access to a range of prescription hair loss treatments with ingredients that work, including, like we said, oral medication, serum, sprays, chews, dust or doctor trusted, clinically proven ingredients like finasteride, midoxidil, can stop further hair loss and regrow your hair in as little as three to six months, no hidden fees, no surprise costs, just real person. personalized care on your sketch. The only surprise you're going to have is, wow, I got hair now, Ma. For simple online access to personalize and affordable care for hair loss, ED, weight loss, and more.

I saw Nick just writing some things down. Visit hymns.com slash hyenas. That's hyenas. That's hyenas.com slash hyenas for your free online visit. Hymns.com slash hyenas. Should we read this? Let's read this next part, Yonis, at the same time. Let's speed read it together.

Individual results may vary based on studies. Top of the oil, monoxidyl and aspirin. Feature products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. It's required to see website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. I don't agree with the limbo laws.

Yeah, me either, but I just thought it was funny. Yeah, I mean, you know, that's... That is wild that those are laws in Mexico. I actually don't even believe that that's true. Well, you know, that's what it comes down to when people get upset about immigration, illegal immigration, and then you look further into it, you go all these other countries,

have immigration laws and they don't allow people to sneak in so why should we be the only one that does that but the limbo laws yeah no that that's against freedom people should be able to say and do whatever they want that's what I believe you can't do it in Mexico you can't do it in Mexico but Mexico's a fucking shit hole it really is that's why they come here is because they want to get away from fucking Mexico yeah it's just funny it was just funny to me I don't know why

we well because we were going through our group chat yeah I mean listen you know immigrants are great nothing wrong with immigrants as long as they abide the law. By the law. We're immigrants, Cuzz. We're immigrants. Me and you are immigrants. The whole country. We know Nick is definitely an immigrant. Well, no, Nick actually looks closest to a Native American, so he might be the only one that's not

an immigrant. Nick looks like, you know. Yeah. Nick looks like he can't handle his alcohol. Yeah, Nick, Nick is not, Nick. There's another way you can call someone an Indian. Yeah, it's just what it is. He's a Native American. Nick is like, you know, he'd have like a modern Native American name. Like, what would it

running at it? Right. Right. Or Yeah, whisper clips. Watch is wrestling. Yeah, watch is wrestling. Watch is wrestling. Yeah, Buffalo. Yeah. Yeah.

Watch is wrestling. That's funny. Yeah. Yeah. So here's the situation, too. What's the situation? You fucking see. Way song she ain't.

Why don't I just let that fly out the debate? No, you can't. No, you can't. You're allowed to say it? I can't say it. Because your daughters are those. It's a slur. Yeah, but only, yeah, but I just wanted to say it just to get one out.

We can edit it out. and you could just edit it out, just and put something fun over my mouth. Is it not the best slur you've heard for Greeks, though? Yeah. I think it's the number one Greek slur. Yeah, because it's what you guys are. Here's the situation, though.

Tell me, Cuts. Christopher Columbus would have loved this podcast, I think. I think he would have been a big history hyenas fan because he just called Native Americans Indians. It's what it is. It's just something funny where he goes, you know what, you know how we just go, hey, I'm Pakistani, I'm Indian,

And we go, because it's just, you're sandstorm. Right. Yeah, you're just a sandstorm. You're just dandy. He just went and he looked at the natives and he said, guess what, you guys are now Indians? Yeah. He named them.

How funny is it that he named them other people? Because he thought he was in India. Well, he thought he was in India. But then when they knew he that he wasn't, he still just went, you know what, you guys are Indians. You look Sandy? Yeah. You got, you're a little brown.

You're all Indians. You're all Indians. And do you know that Christopher Columbus was sailing to not necessarily find a new world? He was sailing to defend chrism to find new crusaders. to beat back Islam. Is that true? That is what we call it Trude Bader Ginsburg. You can look it up.

The historians don't want you to know it. But a little man named Raymond Ibrahim, who's a jacked theologian, who's a defender of Christendom, who's a Coptic Christian from Egypt, said it. So it's true. He's like to Joe Rogan of theologist. Is he really? He's Google Raymond Ibrahim. Yeah, I want to start listening to his podcast. The Crusades.

It was all everybody who went to try to circumnavigate the world or find new lands. It was really just, we got to find more crusaders because Islam's the Seljuk Turks are just killing everybody and boiling babies alive. Yeah, but this kid Raymond I'm just, he's just a jacked hearty. The thing is, I think a lot of people on the internet just have forgotten that a lot, this, a lot of these guys are entertainment. They start believing guys, just like, listen, these guys are entertainment. Just be entertained by these guys. Yeah, the truth about the Crusades. Now, here's the thing, here's the funny thing about Raymond Ibrahim is he looks like a guy the crusaders would kill first.

Yeah, 100%. That's the irony of it. He looks like a big Arab big. And he's big on that guys like Mom Dhani and all that are committing a little thing called Tikia. Do you know what a little thing called Tikia is? No, because you know a little bit too much about this. So a little bit. So what happens is sometimes, what happens is because sometimes you get a little banged up on the weekend and you have a weekend and you sit up in your room that's been designated as your room and your space.

And you just look into a little thing called the Crusades because you feel like maybe you have some invasions in your own household. So you start to say, how did we? do this historically and then you look into a little thing called tequila and what tequila is is in the islamic faith or Muslims what you can do is you are allowed to denounce your religion and you're allowed to basically secretly say that you're not a muzzi when you actually are a muzzi if it's to push the Muslim agenda forward which is what a little thing which is what people think maybe a little man named zoran mamdani could be doing is he saying like i don't i support gays and blah blah blah blah, but he's doing a little thing called Takea, which is loud in Islam, and it was actually,

you know, a lot of people say, go back to the Spanish Inquisition, and like, how come so many Muslims all of a sudden renounced their faith and became Christians? That must have been a good thing, right? It's like, well, the answer is Tequia. Wow. That's why they did it is because they did that. They will basically go undercover to push Islam forward. It is A-O-K-K.

Holy shit. So this whole time, I could be doing Tequila. I could be an undercover muzzi presenting as a Catholic. Because, you know what's great about Tekea, too? Yeah. Great black girl's name. Great black girl's name. Do you want to go to BBUs and go to date with Tequia Johnson?

And in my head, I'm going, beep, be, be, be, be tequila. Yeah. That's what I've been doing. Yeah, it sounds like you're drunk on tequila trying to tell people what you drank. I had too many tequias. Tequia in Israel, that's what it sounded like in my house this weekend. I'm having too much tukia. Yo, put me too many, put me some more tequila.

So in tequila, in Islam, the practice of concealing one's belief and foregoing ordinary religious duties when under threat of death or injury derived from the Arabic word Waka, Takia defies easy translation. English rendering such as precautionary dissimilation or prudent fear

partly convey the terms meaning of self-protection in the face of danger to oneself or by extension and depending upon the circumstances to one's fellow Muslims. Thus, Takia may be used for either the protection of an individual

or the protection of a community. Moreover, it is not used or even interpreted in the same way by every sect of Islam. Takea has been employed by the Shiites, the largest minority sect of Islam because of their historical persecution and political defeats, not only by non-Muslims, but also at the hands of the majority Sunni sect. Right.

But the key thing here is that you have to believe that you're under threat of death or injury. But they can bend the rules. Yeah. They could say that they're under threat or injury and make up many different things. To me, it's just interesting how you'll just get, you got, you know, if you were sitting in, you know, Anatolia in the 1400s, and the Seljuk Turks came, and they said, you have two choices right now. Either we cut your head off, and either you convert to Islam, or, and we cut off, and we circumcise you right here, or we cut your head off, and that was the only choice where if it was the

other way around, Muslims can just say, oh, I'm under Tequia, and they could just be a Christian when they're really not. Right. So how come Christians don't have Tekeha? I want to have Tekeha. Right, right, right. Well, I think a lot of Christians just converted. A lot of them just converted. Right. I would convert. Yeah. I mean, Tons of them just, they didn't even do Tequia. They just did a, uh, uh, they did it to come over. Yeah. And they just came over to, they went over to, they went over to the dark side.

Yeah. Basically, it's, you know, Luke Skywalker's the Christian and Darth Vader is the Muslim. Yeah. Ladd of 14. So it's just how it happened. Yeah. That's how Schmidt told me it was supposed to go. It's just what it is.

He goes, look, it's all in the fucking Star Wars movies. He goes, it's all an allegory for what happened back then. It's what it is. Luke Skywalker, he's a fucking savior. He's Jesus Christ. The kid. And Darth Vader. is Satan because he's wearing black.

Yeah, it's what it is. And those are the Muslims and they came in, they tried to fucking convert, and all the Albanians fucking went to the dark side. I'm kidding. I'm just kidding. I don't want the Albanians to be mad at me. That's what it is, yeah. And a lot of, and what happens is, here's the interesting truth, is when

Mamdani becomes mayor, you know, Muslim mayor, Muslims, you have to pay, you basically have to pay a tax. Anytime Islam takes over, you have to pay a tax. Giza. It's called a Giza. It's called a G-Z-Y-Y-A. They spelled J-I-Z-Y-A, and I I know how to do that because I pay a little thing. Yeah, it's true, you know, I know we haven't gotten to the topic of the day yet.

Yeah, but we will because I'm off the fucking beam. Yeah, and we're having a good fucking time. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you know, just we got to, you got to be, what you basically say is you got to be. No, I'm not saying that. Where of tequila. Just beware of tequila. Beware of tequila.

But that's it. I mean, that's the synonym. It is. So you call it. Muslim sneaky. Well, I'm just saying they have a part of their religion that could be all sneak attack.

Yeah. Yeah, and I'm just saying, I'm not saying Christianity is the answer, but I'm just saying trust and put your faith in Jesus and everything will be okay. Yeah, that's it. Now, between me and Stavros, do you think which one of us would work for the Turks?

I think Stavros already works for the Turks. Yeah. You just, yeah. I think, yeah. Yeah, I just think maybe, Yeah, between the two of us, who do you think would just turn into a janissary? Yeah, I think probably, I think, well, it depends. I would say that you, I would, would I defend Christendom more than him, or what would happen?

I think you would, I think you would go, I think you would defend chrism. But the problem, the thing is with you is I think you're just a kid, no matter what, you just like to throw on wigs. Yeah. So I think you would just throw on one of their head pieces that they have just because you liked something on your head. Yeah. But I do, I can see this kid with a fucking. in scimitar and his head big. Because!

Tell me about Lucy. Because Lucy, send us some more Lucy's. I love Lucy. Yeah, I want to suck Lucy's nicotine, chintz. Because Lucy's 100% pure nicotine. Always tobacco-free. Lucy breakers, come give me some expression. Oh, yeah, they have a little extra surprise in the mouth.

I like to want to turn Lucy around and lick her ass and get nicotine right in mouth. Lucy's my favorite nicotine pouches because you sign up. They send them to your house, so you don't got to run to the gas station late. I love the flavors that they have. Like Chris said, they got the breakers. You know, you bite into the little capsule releases, releases extra flavor. Yeah, you just set up yourself.

If you're a nicotine user and you like nicotine pouches, Lucy's the way to go. Set yourself up with a subscription and Lucy is delivered straight to your door. That's what I love the most about it is they're delicious. I love the flavors. I love the apple. oh it's delicious and I just love being on a subscription because I'm addicted and I need to get my Lucy I need to know where they are at all times let's level up your nicotine routine with Lucy go to lucy dot co slash hyenas and use promo code hyenas to get 20% off your first order Lucy has a 30 day

refund policy if you change your mind again that's lucy dot co use code hyenas to get 20% off and here comes to fine print Lucy products are only for adults of legal age and every order's Stage verified warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Because I am so excited. Yeah, because we actually have a sponsor of someone who I think is super cute. Super cute rag and bone. The owners of this company live near Jesse.

Yeah, they do. Yeah. And they're super cute. It's a super cute clothing line. I actually have tons of rag and bone. I love it. And I got rag and bone sneakers. I got two pairs of rag and bow sneakers.

And I got rag and bone jeans. I love rag and bone. I got a nice little indigo jean jacket from Ragged Bone. It just makes me feel cute, but I'm too fat to wear it right now. It is really, really cute stuff. Literally, rag and bone, if you ever go down to Manhattan, they got Rag and Bone stores in Manhattan, and they were just always so cute, and they always got hotties with bodies working there. Really nice muscular guys.

Yeah, I mean, I'm not even, I'm not, I'm just being honest with you, Rag and Bone, I think, is one of my favorite clothing line. Me too. Yeah. I'm not just saying that because they're endorsing us, it just is. You just, yeah, it's cute. And what they, you know, some specifics about them, they are built with premium. materials and craftsmanship. The jeans are made to last, and that is true, not just for a season,

but for years. I have a rag and bowed pair of jeans. I bought in like 2007. Yeah, and they're awesome. Here's a, here's a funny thing. This is a true story. If you go watch my blowing the light special, I'm wearing a rag and bone shirt. There it is. That's the truth. Ragginbone doesn't make your new go-to denim. They've perfected everything from buttery, soft teas, and elevated essentials to jackets and nits that pull your whole look together. It's premium wardrobe, staples made to last and made to live in. And that's, I meant to say rag and bone doesn't just make your new go-to denim. They make that plus other stuff. Yeah. They are really great. So check it out. It's time to upgrade your denim with rag and bone. For a limited time, our listeners get

20% off your entire order with the code hyenas. I'm going to use it at rag dash bone.com. That's 20% off at rag dash off at rag dash bone.com with promo code hyenas. When they Ask where you heard about them, please support our show and let them know that the hyenas sent you. I just want to read it one more time for you guys. It's time to upgrade your denim with rag and bone. For a limited time, our listeners get 20% off their entire order with code hyenas at rag dashbone.com. That's 20% off at rag dashbone.com with promo code hyenas. When they ask where you heard about them, please support our show and let them know we sent you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's just what it is. Mastavi, baby. I haven't spoken to him in a minute. Yeah. So. My little bit, bistavio. You know, I don't know how every episode we look, I think we're just, this podcast is just

picking up the flag leading the charge for Christendom. Yeah, it's just what it is. And I think we got to go back to trying to meet the fans at patreon.compsych history hyenas. I want to start meeting the fans again. Can you write in the comments if you want us to start getting you on FaceTime again? Jesse the Trufflebeg, Lisa Johnson, where are you? Yeah. Where's Norris cupcakes?

Lisa Johnson, too. It's Jed Begackis. Yeah, Jim McCackett. Jed McCackas, I think, is actively listening. Jed Becacchakas, the original Rachel Dollazole. She lied about her age? Yeah, I love it. A you smoked cigarettes in the corner.

Yeah. Yeah. So. Jim Begakas. And where's Raphael de Lucke? He went to Harvard and then used to make beats for us on the show. Yeah, we used to call him disappointment to his parents. Yeah, and then maybe that's one.

Harvard and then he was a DJ. Well, that's probably the reason he stopped listening. Yeah. Because we were just constantly calling a disappointment to our parents. Now, let's talk about this fucking. Way song she ain't. Yeah. I'm just kidding around.

You don't just have it fun. It's not even me. It's Patty Malroney. Yeah. So we're going to talk a little bit today. 36 minutes in. Yeah, let's talk about this fucker. Bettaugh.

36 minutes in. And we're going to talk. Well, at least you know we're going to talk a little bit about it. And then we'll get more into the detail at pageron.com slash history hyenas. Listen. Well, I'm just going to let it. fly today. Yeah, today you know Chrissy's going to go wild today. I've just had enough.

Chris Talia's fat. We're getting a new studio. Yeah. So, listen, if you're not, if you're not, if you're a fucking to, you're not, you need to join our Patreon, patreon. com slash history hyenas. You need to become a part of the community over there.

Those guys have fun on the community board where they talk about us and they make Photoshop photos of us. So much fun. And the bottom line is this. If you're listening to this podcast and you're not on the Patreon, then you wear your towel under your armpits. That's what you do. That's just what you do.

Yeah. And somebody needs to make that. That's a 10 out of 10 thing. Yana said, Mom Doni, men who vote from Mom Dani wear their towels under their armpits. That's a 10 out of 10 thing that they do. That's what they do. Yeah.

Yeah. So we're going to start talking about a, of what, you know, one of these geniuses, right? Now, the Ashkenazis, they have a high IQ. They do. They got bigger brains. They're just very smart, you know? They got those Levantine genes. and they mix them with the Euro

and you just came up with a nice stew of smart. I mean, when you look at the percentage of people who've won like science, Nobel Peace Prizes, the Ashkenazi Jews are just fucking overrepresented. They are. They're just smart kids. I like to call them the white Chinese. That's what they are.

They're white Chinese kids. The Ashkenazi Jews. Yeah, so how can you explain this kid? This kid's got no formal education. He's a self-taught kid much like some of the other geniuses, Leonardo Vinci and whatever, which I bet Leonardo Vinci had to have Samash Kanazia. 100%. Or remember, he was sodomized as a kid, so maybe he got it banged into him.

He got it banged into him. Yeah, which is how the Greeks used to think the knowledge was transferred. Is that an actual fact? I think they thought, yeah, they would have like mentor program. Well, looks like I'm practicing a little Greek history night. Tim Dillon would love ancient Greece big. Yeah, big. He can walk around with as many

twigs as he want and nobody would judge them. Put your ideas at me. Yeah. So, uh, it's Zach Benthoff. He was a mechanical engineer, inventor, but most importantly, and what he's known for mostly is that he was like a mystic. He wrote this book about consciousness, and he believed that if you meditate, you could sync up with the universe. You could get the rhythm, your heartbeat, you could slow it down to the rhythm of the universe, and then it would open you up where you

could like time travel right you could uh you could um uh remote view you could uh you could like feel the universe well you're the one that told me you've told me that we're just conductors like where where here our bodies are just conductors like the all the universe everything's happening the idea is the life we're just conducting it is that from him is that where you learn that that was one of the things he want he felt that consciousness was something you could tune into and your brain was more like a radio antenna and that consciousness is just there like it's happening above us and you're just getting you tune into it got so it's platonic in the sense that you know perfect circle analogy right perfect circle exists we've said it before it exists it exists whether we

exist ideas exist did we create them or we discover them now neuroscientists would all say bullshit we create the consciousness it's all chemical it's all based on our our meat flet our you know our meat package and it's all about this squish up here but I think a big reason they would say that is because then that's where their funding comes from. That's what it is. Where's to follow the money, baby girl? They follow the money because like, yeah, they go, oh, it's all chemical it starts here. That's why you need to take a little riddle

and that's why you need to take a little bit of this. Yeah. Fix the chemicals and if you fix the chemicals then you'll be happy. Yeah. But what if happiness is not that? What if it's just meditating and attuning yourself to the mother universe? That's what I think it is. Yeah, getting impregnated in the moment and meeting the all-powerful fucking, the all-powerful fucking Yahweh.

Yahweh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Allah, inshallah. Allah's a good kid. Yes. Now, he has a book called stalking the wild pendulum. Did you ever read that one?

I haven't read it, but I did read the synopsis of it. Well, he talks about... Which is basically what this podcast consists of his synopsies. With a chat, CBT, sluts. And remember, they have a holographic... He said that there's a holographic nature to this universe. Like, the whole thing's just a hologram, which goes into what you said. Now, the real fun in this episode is what's...

the CIA did with this kid's research. And you know what, what I think, because we're already at 41 minutes, what we're going to do is we will talk about the Stargate CIA program based on this dude's book. We will talk about that on the bonus episode this week.

You're saying you want to talk about that at patreon.com slash history hyenas? That's what I want to say is I want to tease it. Wow. So you did a little thing. Where's that Yamaka? You put it on. You just pulled an Ashkenazi. You got a little peanut head, but you got an Ashkenazi brain in that little, you have a little

mini Ashkenazi brains. Yeah, I just got screwed it and said, we're going to do a little teaser, we want you to cough up five shekels. That's what it is. Give us the money, because if you got a teaser from the geezer. Yeah, because if you can't afford five shekels, then maybe you got to go listen to another podcast.

It's what it is, because if you can't afford five shekels, and then that's probably why you think it's a good idea to vote for Mom Donnie, just know it's a bad idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you don't fucking cough up five shekels, you got no business telling anybody what fucking countries they should go to because I hope Mom Dani just becomes all the

candidates in one and I hope day one he has a red beret on and he goes and kills elderly people like Silwa. Yeah that's what I hope happens. Yeah you think you and then he kills elderly people like Cuomo. Yeah. So we'll just talk about this kid today to warm you up for the Patreon because the CIA did use what

this guy was saying in the book and what he was studying and they tried to use it during the Cold War to see if a remit remote viewing was possible and actually there was a bunch of people in that in that program that the CIA program that had like crazy hits yeah meaning they actually did see things that it would be impossible to know yeah now we're going to talk about all that at patreon.com slash history hyenas and then we're also going to talk about i've just thought this we're also going to talk about

the chrono visor which is what the is in the vatican right now it's in the basement of the vatican and they think that they can look back in time and see when Jesus actually existed. So we are just going to make it about the crusades. Yeah. Haven't you, are you starting to like figure like now? A lot of things people used to think were like quacky ideas. We're starting to find like,

hey, maybe a lot of this shit is true, right? Well, like even when they say, you know, in ancient aliens, when they would talk about how the ancient Egyptians use vibration therapy to move the stones or vibration technology to move the stones and this and that. In the Easter Island, there's no other way they could do it other than vibration.

I'm starting to believe like it probably was true because they didn't have any they, all they were doing was conducting to the higher energy they had nothing else to distract them. That is a great point. Yeah.

That is a great point. They were sitting around all day. They didn't have books to read. They didn't have porn to jerk off to. Nothing. They didn't have the internet to scroll. They didn't have professional wrestling

to become a fan when you're an adult of. Yeah. They didn't have comic books. Yeah. They didn't have sneakers to buy. I'm sorry, Nick. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. You didn't have figurines to collect. Nothing. All the finger sniffer stuff, like there was nobody even collecting coins because there was no history yet to go, wow, this is a huge. Yeah, they also were eating vegetables all day and good raw meat. They had no preservatives in the food. They had nothing slowing them down.

So that. I believe it, because you're actually right. That's probably how the pyramids were built, was they were able to, like, move shit with their mind. Otherwise, it just doesn't make sense. Well, that's what they say. People who go into that deep, deep, deep meditation nowadays, like the Buddhist monks, they say they can do all that stuff. Because here's the thing, too. They say that Jewish slaves built the pyramids.

Yeah. But like, what Jew do you know that's fit enough to carry a boulder? Zero. I don't know anybody. I mean, there's none even in professional sports. No. How are they going to carry a boulder? I'm supposed to believe that fucking Yitzhak Rabin was picking up a boulder.

He did not. It's just not true. And now when I was meditating, I thought of a new game that we could play and then we could all play this at patreon.com says history and is it would gameplay by two presumably straight males where each player what we'll do is we're going to pull in our penis and stare at the other player. The one whose penis moves first is declared the loser.

And thus ridiculed and called gay for a minimum of two hours. And you wrote that down? Well, well, it's a meme called Dick Chicken. Okay, Dick Chicken. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. I like Dick Chicken. Yeah. What do you think of that? I like it. Yeah, so that's who we're going to play also at patreon.com I'm going to talk about Gateway. And we're just going to talk about this fucking guy, Benthoff.

Yeah, so Benthoff, like... I want to have a brew. Yeah. I want to have a Brutin. If they had a fucking keg in there, in the new studio, we should get a keg. Yeah, let's get a keg. Yeah. Yeah, you like beer. I want to drink Sam Adams' October Fest. Yeah, big and bad. So this kid, right, so he started. I thought we're going to talk about him on Patreon. No, we're going to talk about the CIA program. So we're going to tell you a little bit about him.

So he was this kid, right? And I think he was from Czechoslovakia. But he was Israeli, it says, Israeli-born. No, he was, oh, so was, no, he wasn't Israeli-born. He moved Israel. Did, no. Where was the kid born? He was born in Czechoslovakia. Sure? Yeah, and then he moved to Israel.

Okay. And during the war for independence, he went to Israel and he designed a rocket for them. Sick. So the kid was just one of these smart kids. He designs a rocket. Then he moves to the States and he just, he gets all. He actually invented the catheter.

The cardiac catheter. Cardiac catheter. He invented that, which was huge. That's huge. Right. So you could just tell, like, his genius ran the gamut. right guys invented rockets he's inventing a catheter that we still use today and then he starts to get into breath work and meditation right and he starts to really believe how consciousness works and he um he believes that consciousness connects to the universe and he believes it's more of a uh self transformation than having one's individual mind manipulated by another he believes that um that uh You know, these things are possible that you can get answers by not learning more things, but by quieting

your mind and tapping into knowledge. So his work really bridged engineering, physics, psychology, and he married it with mysticism and spiritualism. And this kid just spent a lot of his time just fucking meditating. And then he died like Richie Valens in a fucking plane crash. But on a commercial airline. Yeah, commercial airline. A lot of conspiracy theorists think the CIA just killed them.

Yep. That's what I'm saying. They brought down a whole commercial airline to kill one guy. Yeah. Now, people say his book is crazy. That's why you, that should actually be, that should actually be the calling card for airlines like Spirit Airlines say no one will ever take down this commercial airline because no one important enough ever flies on it.

That's a good way to. That's how Spirit should try to get more people. Say if you're, you know, Delta American United. Yeah. Important people are flying that. But Spirit, nobody's flying on that. That's important. Yeah.

It's like, listen, you're basically on a Greyhound. in the sky. It's what it is, so we're not going to take it down. I mean, it's a bus that flies is what it is. I mean, the tickets are as cost of a bus ticket. It's what it is. It's really, it's like taking the MTA in the sky. Yeah. It really is. You're not getting, it'll never get blown up, but there is a chance that you will get stabbed and get your Walkman stolen if you fall asleep. It's just what it is. And I just call the phone a Walkman because I'm from the 80s. You're from the 80s and you're just, you're still hung over, and your brain's going a little slow today. It's going a little slow. I just said you'll get your

Walkman taken. And I knew, I knew that you were having a fat day because you're sweatpants and you're wearing the sweatpants really high, high up on your ass. Because I got robbed once where a kid took my jacket and my walkman and then he gave me his jacket. It was a trade. It was a trade off. He made it feel like it wasn't a robbery, but it was. Yeah. Yeah. And that's just what growing up in Brooklyn's right. I was riding my bike once with a book bag. And in my book bag, I had a Nintendo 64. I was like 14 and my dad's child support cash. And some kid pushed me off my bike and stole my GT performer and I just started running away and he didn't get the Nintendo 64 or the cash.

But he did get my bike. Yeah. And then I ran into the park and I told my friends who were in the park that a kid just pushed me off the bike. And then we all went looking for him and beat up the wrong black kids. Loud of 14. It's just what you call a tale for Brooklyn. It's just what it is. It's just called Ridgewood in the 90.

Yeah, that's just a different thing. It was just a joke. So we'd like to take this time to apologize that random black kid who got wrongly profiled. Sorry about that. If you listen to this, sorry about that. that. Sorry about that. Wrong place, wrong time. Mistakes happened. And in defense, this was the 90s. This wasn't my choice. And four of the five hits you beat you up, did go on to become NYPD offices. But they were just 16 at the time. And actually, I think that's when the NYPD

started recruiting them. They said, these kids are good. Yeah, we're not saying it was a good thing or bad thing. It's just something that happened. And it was unfortunate. And we just want to take this time to apologize to whoever that teenager was. So sorry about that. Sorry about that. What we were to say is sorry about that. It was a case of mistaken identification. It was just a Ridgewood mishap. It's just something that goes wrong, just like when the officers were in Times Square

and they slammed James Blake, the tennis player, to the ground. I remember that. You remember that? Yes, I do. I remember that cop. They just threw him on the ground. Yep. And he just goes, I'm James Blake, the tennis player.

And he said, you fit the profile of a suspect we're looking to. Yeah. Okay. And he said, and the cops said, you're going to have to cackle that. And the cop said to me, goes, I don't watch tennis. I'm not. Loud of 14 So there's a lot of cackling that's going to happen

It's what it is It's what it is But we are in tune We are in tune with the universe We are oscillating We are just little oscillating devices That's all we are these meat vessels Are oscillating off the conscious vibration

Happening above us Yeah now what was the name of this kid's books You can go read it if you really want to get into it Kids had a book called stalking the wild pendulum On the mechanics of consciousness in 1977 Which was probably a good year Now I've read people who read this book said they're blown away by this fucking book.

So let's get it. I want to read it. Should we start reading books on the Patreon too? We should. Every, every, every, let's read books. Yeah. So this was. Read a page from the Bible every episode.

Yeah. This was a book that this is the CIA got really interested in this guy because of this book. And he argued that the body acts like an oscillator. And during certain states like deep meditation, internal resonance aligns with the 7 Hertz rhythm matching brain. alpha rhythms and Earth's magnetic geomagnetic pulsation sink up. It does. Um, meditation does work. When you just meditate, it really does recharge you or like, even if it's temporary.

Absolutely. You really do get like every time after you meditate for 15, 20 minutes, you usually get 30, at least 30 good minutes. It's the best. Do you meditate before shows? I meditate. See, the thing about meditation, I learned the most about it from Novak Djokovic. That's with the guy that, because he's big on that. And, you know, he's a great. greatest tennis player that ever lived and tennis is such a mental game. I used to think meditation was something like you had to do, but it's not. It's just a way you have to be. So sometimes I'll do it for 30 seconds. Sometimes I do it when I'm driving. Sometimes I'll do it when I'm taking a shit. I do it like whenever. And all it is is just conscious breathing, just returning to your

breath, watching your thoughts. You don't have to sit in a room and meditate like it's like Yabrin used to do. Right. What's his name? Yachov Shmirnoff. Yeah, whatever Yachov Shmirnoff used to do, I don't think you have to do you don't have to be like a pro you just got to do a little conscious breathing which means just think about your breath take a second to just focus on your breath do some deep breathing and that's all you got to do we're all recycling cans yeah blue recycling cans yeah we're all fucking good for the environment that's what it is that's what we are yeah yeah so go read that book it's very cool and we're going to get into the gateway experiments and the CIA stuff which is really mind blowing at patreon dot comsash history hyena because the program was called sea gate

they spent 20 million dollars to see if they could use people to brains to find out where the fucking Ruski's were. It's what it is. Where are these commie bastards? And we found them. And as always at the end of every episode, we like to read off the newest members of the Patreon who are over there having fun, who have just, who are a little oscillating devices who are connected to the conscious universe because they went to patreon.com slash

history hyenas and they do not wear their towels under their armpits. Yeah. They wear their towels around their waist or on their heads. Now let me ask you this question from a previous episode, the big fans out there. Have we discovered a way to open the portal to the universe's consciousness by taking a shit and having dirty ass and having your asshole licked so you can feel those two emotions at the same time, complete horror and a complete ecstasy

at the same moment. Maybe that opens a portal to meet Jesus Christ himself. It's possible. So here are the newest members of the matriarchy. We will, of course, pick a lucky winner. Beem balancing big part-time program participant. I like that kid, and I'm going to give him a Drexer right off the bat.

He goes, beam-balancing big, part-time program participant. That's a really good one. I don't like it. You got to give that a Drexer, no? Derek the Honduran. By the way, the fans for some reason hate when we do a list reading with a guest, and I don't understand why. Yeah, all right, so we won't do you see that? Yeah. Why do they hate it so much?

I guess because the guest typically doesn't. They don't get the lingo. They don't get the lingo. So that, yeah, Derek the Honduran is cute. He's identifying himself for ice. I appreciate it. That is a cooperative guy. Yeah, I like him.

I'm giving the chicken finger just because he's making ice his job easy. Then we got syrup monkey too, just trying to get Chrissy's glue. off my face. Syrup Monkey to do a Canadian. Yeah, so I guess, yeah, he's saying I came on a Canadian kid's face. Yeah, yeah. Diego Sosa, Joe Apeña, come to Sweden, butt plugs are on me. Put him on the list.

Okay, there we go. Put him on the list. Yeah, that's what it is. That's nice. He's going to buy those friends. That's very nice. The Swedish kid who's got a little business and he'll give us one on the arm. Yeah.

Brandon Winkler, McKenzie Daggle. Then we got 100% Me Too was started by Chrissy's date when she smelled Mets, hot dog leftovers on his hand hashtag at least Weinstein could wipe a little wordy little wordy funny funny Blake Harvey Joe Lambert keep going don't stop you're going make me Kamala Kamala go we have so many Kamala then we got uh demarkis aurelius a.khae the strong silent Leroy really good demarcus arrelius yeah I like it like it yeah Johnny adent Winston Brockle eric talpo latter 14 DEI hire aka way on Terry, Fabian

Quintana, Richard the Lionhard Put him on the list. Chicken finger that goes on the list. Richard Lionheart is a great poor name. Yeah, it's just what it is. Abe, Luke Lyons, Garrett Hawkins, Oliver Goglitz, Benny's Boppy,

Father Bill's corkscrew holder, it's what it is. Josh Thomas, just in my mouth. I have a J-shaped D. so I named him Vance. Okay. J. Sam D. Good word play.

I like it. Drexler. Then we got B. Who looks like a piece. Mike N. Josh. Exhausted slant in a no-yron factory? I don't know. It's probably a bad one, right? Whatever it is.

In a no-y. Slave. Got it. Is that what it means? Yeah. Slant. Yeah. Walk in the one.

Okay. Way song she ain't. Omar Caranza, a post-brist kiss, makes Rabbi Shmuli. start to droolie. You're going to put that on the lid. All right. That's what it is. Yeah.

Mom Donnie's Dom Mommy got Chobani all over my salami. Okay. Make no mistake. My glue gun goes off on the subway after a few bruise. It's just what it is. Okay. Nick, Chip, on the beam and roof's done. Need some snatch for my glue gun.

Okay. Uncle Frank took me physically and now I have crumbum. Okay, that's really good Drexler for that. Old one, Frank Rizzo crumbum. A good wordplay. Bingo Bingo Bango. Bingo Bingo gets a chicken Yeah, I like Biko Bongo Cousi Wazi Sealing Cricket Removal Service.

You know what? We'll do a make-up, put him on the list. He's not going to win, but they were so mad at the Leroy Sealing Cricket. All right. Gregory Johnson, B.B. Tits and Youhoo, Staten Island Special. Jack Heron, Tyler McDougall, Fritzby Flinger, right winger, bar, Mitzvich.

singer. Okay. James and Kenny. Nerves are shit. Can't swallow. So I spit. Just call me Glugarig. Glugerig. Like Lou Gehrig. I know. Good one. Marcos Escamilla. Bob. Dr. Chrissy D.P. Titties. Kyle Chandler. Bring back to tattooed fingers muzzie. You F.F. Cyclops. That's probably his, Zach Isis himself. Yeah, probably him himself. Half a tarred. We can't have a battle rapper be our producer. We just can't do it. We could have, we could have guest appearances by like Mike Mush and they can come in for a day. Yeah, they come for a day. That'd be nice. Trans mall

slot muzzie penetrates her hussy on the prayer mat. Hashtag only in Mom Donnie's neighborhood. Wait, say that one again? Trans Mall Slot Muzzy penetrates her hussy on the prayer mat. Hashtag only in Mom Dani's neighborhood. It's a funny visual. Yeah. Someone

getting pegged on the... Okay. But yeah. Andrew Eichelberger. Ooh. Yeah, it's a nice German kid. Ooh. Throw the frisbee. in the air. Yeah. Gavin Morgan, Carissa Ernest, Bill Bow Swagons, got an ice ad watching y'all. I have my first

raid tomorrow. Yeah. Okay. Mayo monkey, but black from the credit scored down. Wow. A mayo monkey is a great way to call a white guy. Yeah. I'm going to put that on the list. Okay. Yeah. I never thought of a mayo monkey. Yeah. Wow. That's a good one. Okay. Jasmine Livingston.

Chris E. D's Doubtfire Dumpur. Frodo Baggins to Hobbit MC, Dylan Sacks, Fumari Stademeyer, which we've had many times. Tyler Wells, Jake Epstein, knew that vitamin water tasted like shit. Because when I said a vitamin water. Yep.

Drexler. That's an old school one. Dominic Bowman. Neighborhoods becoming an H-1B sniper range. Okay. It walked into one. No good. No good there. Kilbasa monkey. Botch circumcision. Called that a deep cut.

Charlie Sheen's HIV wean Matt Benjamin Pelke Alf West Catching Heaters Nathan Bendetti Joshua Marbury Shot my glue

And Bonnie Blue Now me PP goes a chew Okay Belly button zinc juice Happy Trail of Tears A.k.a Feather Monkey Way Song Sheen Okay

Christina Turlow Joseph Chabayata Alex Haynes Garrett Beaver Kevin Grosse Valerie DeNicolo, Dan, Colomari Cochring. We've had Columari Cochran.

Okay. Theo Huxstabels Floodies. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. I think that goes on the list, though. Yeah, he died, right? It's a walk into one, but not really. It's not racist. It's funny. We're going to put that on the list. All right.

Yeah, a kid did have floaties on. Showed up with a five-inch skin flute and showed up with a five-inch skin flute. And showed up with a five-inch skin flute and the wife said yes. Okay. Kids got a five-inch piece. Lissie Ladda 14, Liam, Seth Simons. Seth Simons. Pulled out my piece, call it a girthquake. We've had that. Yeah. Ross Lyons. My red-headed yogurt slinger shoots dairy free glue. Yeah. Bed Tyler Clark, Josh Murray, Connor Durkin, Irish Ethanol. Luke Williams, Connor Hutchinson,

Cohan Simcock, Joe Aloka, slippery Puerto Rican. Darius Poole, Ricky Trob, Joe DeCarlo, Michael, Chris O'Neill, M.A. Refuse to Knock Your Toots Boots, even if they have Chrissy D's glutes. Tight, Korean Vaj. Okay. That's what my dad would say. Yeah. Roddy V. Rich Adamson. Bagel lover.

Jesus Christ. Sorry about that. Logan Moller. Mack. Riley Simpkins. Chrissy gets 80 lashes for crowdwork at the Riyadh Show. double parked on 3rd Avenue Got a Muzzy Coupon

Wow Put him on the list Okay There I say contender Calling a ticket A Muzzy coupon Is a 10 Yeah

Yeah Cheeseburger Fuzz Sucker the 3 11 Tyler I sleep in Jays Yanni We need to take five I just ship my pants

Drexler Bruce Leroy Gou George El Gallo Alvarez Rick Flares Goochsling Richard Lulls Stephen P Andre let's just ask our wrestler What does that mean? We know what that means

No wrestler doesn't know Um Where to wear Richard Luz Stever P Andre Lazo James Scott Dusty Cram

A la S&B Jimmy Coyote Uncle Lou Erica course Dr. Habibi Cat A.k.a. A.k.a. The saffron Habibi cat

Jamon Sully straight to the back and Alex Clano. Okay. Those are the names. Those are the names. Welcome to the Matrix. So we have, you know, I think we never know until we start reading the names back.

Yeah, we got some goodies. Okay. So we got Mayo Monkey, but black from the credit score down. We're going to keep that. Okay. We got Theo Hoxtable's floaties. We're going to keep that. You really?

I think I don't like you the guy died. You don't like that. I just don't like the kid died. Okay. We'll take it off because of it. But what do you guys think? Yeah. Take it off.

Okay. But we're going to admit that it's funny. Yes. Come to Sweden. But plugs aren't me. What do you think? Funny. Keep it for now.

Okay. Richard the Lionhard. We're keeping Richard the Lionel. You like that? Yeah, I like that. A post-bris kiss makes Rabbi Shmooley start to droolie. It's a good one, but we've had a lot of those. Okay.

Right? Yeah, we're going to take that off. And then Cozzie Wuzzy's sealing cricket removal service. That was just an honorary. Yeah. So we Drex through those. And then we got double parked on 3rd Avenue, got a muzzie. Contender.

Hey, so that, so it feels like it's between, I mean, these are the names that are left. Double parked on 3rd Avenue got a muzzy coupon, Mayo Monkey but black from the credit score down. Come to Sweden, butt plugs are on me or Richard the Lionheart. Okay. I know for a fact, well, we're going to Drexler come to Sweden. Okay. I appreciate you. Thank you for, you know, providing that.

When we go, please reach out to us. Yes, yes. So now we're down to, we got a Richard the Lionhard, Mayo Monkey, but black from the credit score down. or double parked on 3rd Avenue, got a muzzy coupon. We always do this for the most part, right? Yep, we do. I agree with you. Tough one for me.

This is another tough one for me. I mean, for me, you know. These guys, they're getting so good that it's all, every list is a tough one. Muzzy coupon is the most inventive. And it feels like the room says that's the winner. Yeah. Right? Would you say that we have bolt in agreement?

Okay. So congratulations. Go to patreon.com slash history hyenas. Oh, your name is there. Or you go to history anis is back.com and see your name up in lights. Double parked on 3rd Avenue got a muzzy coupon. You are the winner of today's Patreon names. And, yeah, but let me just say this.

You guys are contributing to the lexicon because from now on, we're calling white people mayo monkeys. 100%. And from now on, we're calling parking tickets, muzzy coupons. It's what it is. Enjoy, baby. Come check us on the Patreon right now.