History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - October Bonus Calls!

Episode Date: October 25, 2019

The Hyenas are calling the Matriarchy! They're excited for the first History Hyenas live shows and are getting WILD!Want more Hyena content? Check out www.patreon.com/bayridgeboys where things get really WILD!Follow us!: 🙆🏼‍♂️🐕🙆🏻‍♂️🙆🏼‍♂️Chris Distefano on Instagram, Twitter, website🙆🏻‍♂️Yannis Pappas on Instagram, Twitter, website🐕History Hyenas on Instagram, Twitter, website Subscribe to the poddy woddy on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify, and HH Clips

It's a phone call episode. Chrissy and Giannis. Yeah! God, it hurts when I pee. Cause I missed you in Savannah. I missed you. But we talked all the time. Yeah.

Yeah, and then Mrs. Pappas sent me a message saying that a picture I posted yesterday doesn't look like me, but is me. So I think Mrs. Pappas, something happened to her in Savannah. She got crack open! That's what it is! All right, this is the phone call episode.

So let's start calling these people. These people have a minute, then they get the Hinkberg time limit. We got too many people to call. It's just what it is. We appreciate all our Patreon members who join. Yeah. But our $25 members are special. And we're also giving you, in addition to these phone calls,

you guys are getting some pretty special episodes that we're even unsure of if we should give it to you. We may take them down eventually because some of you are messaging other people and fucking stop it. Stop messaging everybody and just listen. Stop messaging girls that I cracked open

and tell them what I said about them on the podcast. This is NoFumesNicole texting in the Dutch apple pie. What is this? No no fumes Nicole texting in the Dutch apple pie. Jesus Christ. What is this? No fumes Nicole texting in the Dutch apple pie oven? Because you are the comedic Donald Trump. They don't know what to get you for.

Yeah. I mean, you just go straight to specifically what it is. It's what it is. Yeah, because you're comfortable letting people know what's going on. Yeah, because I can throw hands now and I just... Hey, is this... What's the name? No Films Nicole.

Yes. Yes! What's up? It's History Hyenas. It's Gay Christie and Yanni P. What's up? What's up, babe? What are you doing?

Oh, man. I'm at work trying to save the world. What do you do for work? I work at the CDC. We work on STDs and vaping and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're actually doing something good. I thought it was going to be one of those millennials going,

she's saving the world. I'm like, what are you doing? She's like, you know, just covering things for BuzzFeed. Yeah. You know what it is? Just monitoring podcasts. What's the new disease that's out now? I'm a screwed-in kid. She's the new disease that's out now?

I'm a screwed-in kid. She's screwed in. She said she's screwed-in kid. Where do you live? I live in Atlanta. Oh, wow. Wow. Now, listen, the other night I finger-blasted a girl who was on her period,

and I bit my nail, so I got open wounds. Is that a problem? Jesus Christ. Jesus. Yeah, I think you want to go get some neoprene for that. No, but can I get a disease? Can go get some Neosporin for that No but can I get But can I get Can I get a disease Can I get through

Through the cuts on my fingers If I If I If I fingered her period Cause it's not even She's at lunch right now Chris But she works at the CDC

She's a doctor You're a gross fucking kid She's a doctor Now you sound like What does she sound like I can't say cause I'm American She sounds She's

She's She sounds like a Peas She also sounds like a peep. She also sounds like a... She lives in Atlanta, so she's an African-American. She's an African-American lady. No. Close. Meaning she's been with a few black guys.

But let's be honest, so have I. No comment. We're almost at the Hey Burt limit because we got a lot of calls, but we just wanted to check in. So have I. No comment. Yeah. So is Chris. Okay, we're almost at the Hey Bert limit because we got a lot of calls, but we just wanted to check in. Hey Bert. Are you enjoying the podcast? I am.

I love it. I love it. You guys go wild and it makes me laugh. Is there anything you want to ask us? That's what we can ask. Yeah. Real quick. What do you want to ask us?

Any questions for us? Yeah. When are you? Are you guys getting that second show in New York City? Baby, November 9th, Gramercy Theater, babe. Why don't you make a trip up from Atlanta, come with Lisa Johnson, and both you guys get cracked. Okay, we got our plans ready to go. Seriously, November 9th, Gramercy Theater.

We're going to post the link on the Patreon tomorrow or Wednesday. Absolutely. All right, we will see you. All right, babe, love you. Let me just say this. No fumes, Nicole. Thank you for your service. We appreciate you. Thank you for your service. All right, love you guys babe love you let me just say this no fumes Nicole thank you for your service we appreciate you thank you for your service

alright love you guys love you alright let's next yeah let's do it yeah so yo

the show's gonna be okay call her up first we'll have Venetia go out right yeah Venetia will do it no Venetia will go out

she'll make the announcement like hey dude nobody will hear her like no phones like I know it's like dope go to the bathroom now yeah go to the bathroom no phones Venetia will do it. No, Venetia will go out and she'll make the announcement like, hey, dude. Nobody will hear her. No phones. I know it's like dope. Go to the bathroom now. Yeah, go to the bathroom. No phones.

Yeah, like stay down. Like, what up, yo? Cool. Let this Verizon ring back on while your party is free. It's just, I'm glad I'm here. I was supposed to be in Greece, but, you know.

Yeah. It's like, it's good to see everyone. Thank you for coming. Yeah. Okay, I did a little, I did a lot of research for this episode so just fucking chill

sit down be cool we're gonna make sure the boys are wild okay Zach Ice has hit it he's coming out yeah me

yeah me yeah and then Mike will come out and do his routine yeah and then we will fucking yeah we'll go wild

I think we should be backup dancers for Zach sorry okay she's out okay and Sergio's gonna be on the show too Go wild. I think we should be back up there just for Zach. Sorry. Okay, she's out. Three. And Sergio's going to be on the show, too. I already told Sergio he has a spot.

Yeah. I already told him I'd pay him. Yeah, why? We may have too many people, Chrissy. Yeah, but I don't know. Yeah, we just might have to put him in the audience. You know what? I told, what I thought was is they can both.

We don't have time for his skit. I don't know. But I was thinking they can, Mikey and Sergio have time for his skit I don't know but I was thinking they can Mikey and Sergio can have wireless mics and take questions from the audience

when we do that that's a great idea now you're fucking screwed in screwed in yeah because I just want to watch Mike get past people in the aisles I'm Dean Villani

Mike's gonna do who's hosting Mike who's starting so Mikey's cracking it open Zach will do the rap and then Mike's got to start it. Yeah.

Mike's the best comic to start it. Yeah. I think we open with Zach's rap, right, with a nice dope beat, and me and you just, as he's rapping, we come out as backup dancers. What's up, guy? What's up, guy? Dean Villani. Hello?

Hey, Dean Villani, what's up, guy? How you doing, guy? Dean Villani, how you doing, guy? Are you in your van right now? Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Where do you live, guy? Where you in your van right now? Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Where do you live, guy?

Where do I live? I live out on the island. Oh, yeah. November 9th, Gramercy Theater. You want to come to the Live History Hyena show? Midnight, you got to buy tickets, though. I already bought tickets. Oh, you're coming to the stand November 8th?

Well, we added one November 9th, Gramercy Theater. Yeah, we're doing a different episode. You can get two if you want. Wow. Back-to-back, guy. Support the matriarch. Yeah, we're doing a different episode. You can get two if you want. Wow. Back-to-back guy. Support the matriarch. Yeah, cause... Support the matriarch.

Now, listen... What did you do this weekend? You went to Huntington? You got sushi? Oh, I live in Huntington, yep. Yeah. I had a feeling you did. Yeah.

How many bar mitzvahs have you been to? Oh, at least 100. Yeah. Yeah, there's May De Blasio. Did he do his... ...around you too? Wait till I see him. Wait till I see there's May De Blasio. Does he do his thing around YouTube?

Wei Shixian. Wei Shixian. Wei Shixian. Wei Shixian. Yeah, it's a character piece. It's a character piece. Dean, Vellani, real quick, because we got to call a lot of people, but we just wanted to ask you. Your sister got a nose job already.

Yeah. Did you? Yeah, we just want, yeah. That's why your sister Will call me back How many nose jobs Happened in your family You're from Long Island

It's part of your culture My My The funny thing is She has had one Of course she has Yeah I don't even understand

Yeah of course Yeah no of course She's at King Color right now Doing a grocery shop It's what it is It's what it is She's a school teacher She lives in the city

In the city in Battery Park. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. She's classy. Benatia just popped up. She's like, oh, dope, word. Wow. Fucking dope.

Yeah. Yeah. So you're the one in the family who couldn't make it off the island. Well, so I'm a screwed in kid, and I'm actually a lawyer. Hey, Bert. Wow. We're going to need you when Chrissy takes us down. Yeah.

Listen, we're at the Hey, Bert time limit. Hey, Bert. Hey, Bert. So real quick, do you have a question for us? That's what we're asking everybody. Wow. Do I have a question for you? How's your situation with your mother?

Because I think that's the type of lawyer. Oh, that's the type of lawyer? Well, yeah, it definitely got worse this weekend. So, yeah, I'll call you. Yeah, we'll call you. We'll talk to you off air. All right, we got to go. I got to go. Thanks, brother. Thanks, buddy. I'll call you. Yeah, we'll call you. We'll talk to you off air. All right, we got to go. I got to go.

Thanks, brother. Thanks, buddy. Thanks for your support. We'll see you November 8th, guy. Yeah. That was actually pretty funny. He said he's trying to get business, actually. Yeah.

He's looked at his $25 as an investment. He started listening to Posse. He said, listen, this kid's a fucking mess. Yeah. Eventually, he's going to need a lawyer to deal with that situation. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah. Oh, God.

Because we got so many fans on the island. I feel like we should just do a fucking show at a sushi restaurant with neon lights. No, we're going to do the show at Paramount Theater. Yeah, we're going to do that. If we sell out Gramercy Quick, we're going to do it at Paramount Theater. Yeah. And Mikey's got Hey Bird's spot. Yeah.

This is what it is. We can have Hey Bird open the show and then just dump a bunch of fucking peanut butter and fucking... Hey Bird. We could dump a bunch of peanut butter and feathers on him. Yeah. Have ball soup. Or we could just set him up and have him go out

and then the whole fucking crowd just starts chanting hey Bert hey Bert yeah or we could just yeah we could fucking have him outstaged and then just start

shooting him with paintballs Benatia's saying no we've crossed the line who is this who is this at Ball Soup oh at Ball Soup

what's up babe hey no this is Ball Soup you're calling Ball Soup what's up Ball Soup how you doing guy What's up, babe? This is Ball Soup. Hey, no, this is Ball Soup. You're calling Ball Soup. What's up, Ball Soup? How you doing, guy? What's up, guy? Oh, what's going on? It's fucking rainy in Vancouver.

Oh, what's up, eh? Canadian, huh? Oh, yeah, eh? Vancouver's got Eastern Hemis everywhere, right? But they're clean? Oh, they're fucking tracking right open and telling what you want, right? That's right. It's way short. I'm just kidding. what you want, right? That's what it is. I'm just kidding. Are you a white kid?

Are you an Eastern Hemi? What are you, sauce? I'm born and raised white boy out in Vancouver. Wow. Wow. It's a privilege and whenever you'd want

to call it half Greek, you know, you get it. You know, yeah. Degonis, yeah, listen, stop trying to get into Venetia's Instagram. It's not going to happen.

You're only half Greek. The answer's no. The answer's no. She's my wife to happen. You're only half Greek. The answer's no. The answer's no. She's my wife. The thing is, it's the unfortunate half that's the Greek part. That's the thing. So I have no business in her shit anyway. I just appreciate what you motherfuckers do.

Yeah, I appreciate that. I appreciate... Fucking Canadian kids are just nice kids. Canadian kids are nice kids, and let's be honest, they're the whitest kids on the planet. Yeah. Chrissyissy you know what fucking sold me on you man is when you were on uh uh jessica kirsten's fucking podcast you

started writing them like first thing you said that sold me on you guys and the fact that johnny fucking too close eyes is greek too that that yeah fucking well yeah we're happy you have an educated sense of humor yeah yeah we're glad you like highbrow comedy. Yeah, it's what it is. Yeah. What do you do out there in Vancouver? Besides give the government too much of your money?

Yeah. How I dump my money? I work in a sheet metal shop. Go local 280, boys. Yeah, yeah. Yes, there it is. Now, listen. Other than that, man,

just listen to fucking pods and fucking getting soaked in the fucking rain, man. That's what it's like in Vancouver. Why don't you take a trip to New York City November 9th?

We're doing a live show at the Gramercy Theater in New York City. Dude, I would fucking love to. Let's see what's up. I don't like fucking... It's too cold. There's too much snow.

One of these days I'll make it out there. I promise. There's going to be no snow in November 9th. That's a guarantee, guy. Bud, have you told a lot of your friends

about the party? Oh, dude, that's a guarantee, guy. But have you told a lot of your friends about the potty? Oh, dude, that's what it's all about. You know, my girlfriend is almost on board. She's kind of liking it. She gets it. But, you know, she's a flat worker digging it, too. Absolutely. That's cool. You got any questions for us, for me and Chrissy, before we give you the Hey Bert time limit in Canadian time?

He got one already. You just can't hear. Oh, okay. I want to know, I have a question. What is your opinion? Have you guys ever done any show at Yuck yucks or what's the fucking deal with yuck yucks? Yes, Mark They're a bunch of their bunch of fucking weenies in my opinion all they want to do like now they instead of having fucking comedy shows They're having drag shows not that there's an issue with that. Just like come on guys. Yeah, what you said? Yeah, a couple of weeks ago and shit like that. Yeah, don't bring any good acts out. Yeah, we know We know you're not a fan of Justin Trudeau.

We can just tell. Yeah. Yeah. You're fucking, yeah. Yeah. Well, look, we're not saying it's a good,

what you're basically saying is what they're doing at Yuck Yucks isn't a good thing or a bad thing, but it's definitely not a bad thing to change it up

and not have any more drag shows. Yeah. That's my personal opinion. Whoever I've offended is going to go fuck themselves. Yeah. You're on the Patreon, so.

No, this is live for everyone. Oh, yes. Welcome to your own podcast and what's fuck themselves. Yeah, you're on the Patreon, so. No, this is live for everyone. Oh, yes. Welcome to your own podcast and what's going on. Yeah, so we may have to just edit some things out. I thought we were on the Patreon. I thought we were amongst family

and friends only. Cackle-worthy interview, man. Cackle-worthy. Cackle-worthy. All right, bro, we got to go. We got to hate-bert you, but yo, have a good time in Vancouver, okay?

Yeah. You're a true doe. And listen, we got no opinion on Yuck Yucks because we may be doing shows up there. So, a lot of 14. A lot of 14, too. Yeah, we just gave that kid the Canadian goodbye. Hey, Burt.

Hey, Burt. All right. Nice kid. See, we got fans all over, Chrissy. I knew that. Yeah. I knew that. We got a fan in Italy.

We got one in Italy? In Italy. Somebody sent me a message. He probably became a fan of you first four years of your comedy when you were Italian. Yeah, when I was doing Italian stuff. Guys, that picture that we posted. You posted on Grant straight to the back cron. Oh, there we go.

Also, this kid straight to the back cron. I also posted the pic of Mikey and they went wild too. Our fans are funny, funny kids. Yeah. But some of the comments on yours were just so funny. Hello?

Follow us on Instagram. Hello? Hello? Is this Grant straight to the back? Oh, yeah, it is. What's up, guy? How you doing? It's Chris Euclamidia.

Oh, not bad. Absolutely. How are you guys doing? Yeah, Yanni's here. Everybody's here. Venetia, Zachy, Mikey. What's up, babe? Sounds like we caught you on the jaw.

Sounds like you're taking a deuce Because I hear a little echo A little bit I had to walk out of the job site right now Because I was like I think it's private I'm like, what the fuck is going on? Let me just say this

Whenever anyone says job site When you hear somebody say job site That's a blue-collar kid That's a blue-collar kid Yeah, job site means Trump 2020 Where are you from, cuz? Oh, yeah kid. Yeah, job site means Trump 2020. Where are you from, cuz? Oh, yeah.

St. Paul, Minnesota. Wow. I'm going to be in Minnesota November 21st to the 23rd. House of Comedy, guy. Oh, pretty good. In fact, I got tickets to go see Mark Norman coming up, too.

He's a good guy. He's a good kid. He's a robot, but he's a good kid. Yeah, the kid has no emotions. He's born with psychopathy, but he's a good kid. Yeah, the kid has no emotions. He's born with psychopathy, but he's a good kid. Yeah, yeah.

He'll eat your fucking heart. It doesn't matter. Since you're from Minnesota, me and Chrissy got one thing to say to you. You are definitely 100% white. Oh, white. Yeah.

Yeah, guys. Yeah, so we're just calling. We wanted to just ask you if you have any questions for us. No, man. I mean, I enjoy the content. You guys seem to do a pretty good job with everything you do. So, I mean, no questions, comments, or concerns on my end. Yeah, I mean, listen.

I'm just enjoying the content. Yeah, I mean, this kid is. You know, I'm just straight to the back. Yeah, that's what it is. You just want to listen. Yeah, I love it. Mikey, can we take a note is... You know, I'm just a straight to the back. Yeah, that's what it is. You just want to listen. Yeah, I love it. Mikey, can we take a note? Venetia, can we take a note?

We got it. This kid is the president of straight to the back here for the content. Yeah. I mean, this kid, we're calling him. He's got his chance to talk. He's saying, hey, guys, listen. I'm just here to listen to you guys because I enjoy the content. That's what it is.

He's a kid from Minnesota who just wants to listen to the potty and put up sheetrock. It's what it is. Yeah, because what's your job? Yeah. All right, guys. I do finished trim carpentry. Oh, nice. Like Jesus.

Or Hebert. All right. Yeah. We got it. You know, I don't like to make a comparison, but since you said it, I mean. Yeah. I mean, just a couple of white guys fucking, you know, that are carpenters that are saving the world.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. One house at a time. That's it, guy. Yeah. All right. Listen, tell all your friends about us and keep being cool, but you reach the Hebert time world. Yeah. Oh, yeah. One house at a time. That's it, guy. Yeah. Listen, tell all your friends about us and keep being cool, but you reach the Haybert time limit. Absolutely.

You reach the Haybert time limit and send us a pic in your cargo shorts. Good kid. Good kid. That kid is here straight for the content. But you could tell the different levels of IQ we have on our callers. I mean, some of them are smart. Some of them are stupid. Fucking stupid.

Here's the thing that I really love about our podcast. It really seems to bring out a wide variety within our species. Yeah. I mean, we just got, we had a lawyer, then we had a kid who, whatever he does with his hands in St. Paul, Minnesota. Yeah, then we

had the CDC lady. I mean, we're all over the place, guys. Who's this now? Jordan, we'll smell your hair, Hughes. That's my favorite thing about our podcast. We're bringing people together through humor. Okay? Because our podcast has no fumes.

Hey, Jordan, we'll smell your hair. What's up, bud? It's the hyenas. Hey, buddy, how are you? What's going on? You want to smell my hair? It's just another day for him. I mean, that was the most fucking monotone. Hey, but it sounds like he spoke to you yesterday.

Yeah. Do we communicate on Instagram probably? Wow, this kid's got no emotions. I like him already. Yeah, you're just a kid. Yeah. Yeah, because you know how to hide a body. You know what?

I mean, a lot of people, you know, I've been told I've been their straight FF for a long time. Where do you live? Why? Because you like tennis? Right now, I'm living in Asheville, North Carolina. Wow. In the South. In the South, yeah.

Because I was just in Savannah. I love the South. It's a nice place. Savannah's great. Charleston's awesome. I love the South. I was born and raised in Tampa, Florida, but I live in Asheville now. Which, by the way, I'd love to hear you guys do an episode about the Vanderbilt.

They have the Vanderbilt Estate here in Nashville. We appreciate that, but you just told us you were originally from Tampa, Florida. I got one question for you. Is your sister a stripper? No, my mom worked at a Ponderosa. Okay, close. Close. Okay, close. Yeah, yeah.

You made it out to North Carolina. That's for you. That's like making it out on the island from Ridgewood. Yeah, it's just what it is. Yeah. Going from Tampa to North Carolina? I live here in the Appalachian Mountains, and the closest I've been to New York has been out into the,

I was out in the hills just outside. Why don't you come November? The closest I've been to New York. November 9th, we're doing a live History Hyenas at the Gramercy Theater. Why don't you make that your first trip to New York City and come through, guy? I would love to. I saw the update on Patreon. I'd love to come out and see you guys. I'd love to see you guys live in person. We got the tickets.

We just added another show, so you got to come get the tickets. Oh, I'll be there. I'll try to see if I can just shout out a hey, Bert, while I'm there. Yeah, no, please. That's what we want you to do. Hey, Bert. Now, do you have any questions for us? Do you have any questions for us, me or Chrissy? Also, no, please. Yeah, that's what we want you to do. Yeah. Hey Bert, now do you have any questions for us? Do you have any questions for us, me or Chrissy?

Also, Mike, Vanitya, and Zach, we're all here. Oh, hi to the Greek goddess, Vanitya. Take it easy. Yeah, take it easy. Okay, she's a Greek girl. Her father's listening. I'm sorry. The answer is no. Yeah, I'm sorry. Again, I'm

from the land of the Cherokee Indian. I think I'm not allowed. I'm not allowed. That's right. You're not allowed to name your daughter either. Yeah. Any questions? No, I don't have any questions.

I was going to ask you how Savannah was, but I'm guessing I'm going to find out here in the episode this week. You're screwed and kid. Yeah, we talked about- Well, no, we got a surprise for you this week. We got fucking- We got Billy Burr. Billy Burr. Bill Burr's on this week. Oh, nice. Yeah, we talked about it. Well, no, we got a surprise for you this week. We got fucking, we got Billy Burr. Billy Burr.

Bill Burr's on this week. Oh, nice. Yeah, so you better fucking. Maybe he'll be nicer to you than he was to Theo. Yeah, that was wild. He was mean to Theo? He was like a little closed off. Yeah.

What, on the podcast? Yeah, I fucking like that. Well, because Theo's starting to fucking think who he is because he's selling some tickets. Like, listen, guy, I'll flush your fucking rat tail down the toilet, okay? Yeah, yeah. Bill just doesn't care. Bill doesn't care. No, he doesn't care. I felt a little bad for Theo, actually, selling some tickets. Like, listen, guy, I'll flush your fucking rat tail down the toilet, okay? Yeah, Bill just doesn't care. Bill doesn't care. No, he doesn't care.

I felt a little bad for Theo, actually. Yeah, who cares? Okay, what? He's fucking selling some tickets now? You think this fucking Billy Burr guy is getting rid of his back? Yeah, you fucking got to know what your place is. So, yeah, listen. You guys will make him feel comfy-wumpy, for sure. Oh, yeah, for sure.

The kid's going to fucking, he's going to, Chris is going to hop right in his fucking little Irish-German lap. Absolutely, yeah. Yeah, we're going to put on some sunblock and do it is going to hop right in his fucking little Irish-German lap. Absolutely, yeah. Yeah, we're going to put on some sunblock and do it. I would say I would smell his hair, but he doesn't have any. Yeah. That's right. That's what it is.

Yeah. All right, guys, listen, we got to go because we got other peeps to call, but we appreciate the service. Good kids we got. Our fans are good kids. Yeah. My favorite part of this phone call episode is, first of all, the fans get what they want and what they pay for, and this is just fun for me.

And then the other thing is, I like to see Chris squirm in his seat, because he just wants to get off the phone with each and every one of them as quick as possible. Yeah. I just don't want to be. No, I want to be here. I want to be here. You better want to be here, because your Comedy Central deal's over. It's what it is.

Don't you feel a little freer, though? Right? Yeah. This is Local 817. I can only pump. I'll take him down a meatball sub. Peace. I mean, that's a good kid.

Yeah. These kids know they better pick up when they see. It's an 845 area code to the kid's local. Yeah, he's local. But you know, some of these kids probably got a lot of bill collectors calling them. So sometimes they don't know whether it's the hyenas or AT&T. Why don't you just leave a message? We'll call out the voicemail.

What's the voicemail? V, you're screwed in. We'll do that, too. Real quick. Yeah. Hi. You can leave a voicemail. Please leave your message for...

What's his Patreon name again? Local 817. I can only pump. I'll take him down a meatball sub piece. Yeah. Local 817. I can only pump. I'll take him down a meatball.

What was it? Sub piece. He's in a red house. He's a funny kid. He's a fucking kid. What's it? 845. He's from the island.

Or is that Westchester? No, 845 from Westchester. Listen, guy. Get tickets. November 9th. Gramercy Theater. Don't be a fucking FF. Thank you for your service.

Yeah, thank you for your service. You didn't pick up, so that means you'll never hear from us ever again, but we want your money! That's what it is! That kid's from Westchester, right? 845 is, yeah. You know, it's just fun to hear the variety of people we have.

I mean, we definitely got a variety of people. Do you have, like, people coming up at the shows? Like, you're like, yo coming up at the shows like you're like yo you're a hyena fan like oh yeah it's happened to me a few i'm like wow like yeah we um yeah we got all races it's wild it's really interesting it shows that like the only people that come see me on the road are hyena fans that's it nope that's it you have a lot of hyena fans this is tony fred flintstone and stephan. They all listen to the podcast. You know what I mean? V, you're a hardcore millennial. Podcasts...

Is that podcast the number one thing people your age listen to? Yeah. I mean, everybody's working nowadays. They don't want to only listen to music. They want to be a part of something. So they're at their desk listening to something, and they want to be a part of something. Yours is definitely it. do you even have tv cable do you have

cable uh yeah but i don't watch it you don't watch it there's no point to watch people are listening i think podcast is like the new tv show it's kind of like what people want to do yeah you know especially people your age 20s and 30s and you know what i mean no i haven't watched television in a long time, even a commercial. I was watching TV probably for the first time the other day, and I was like, yo. This is wild. The marketing that they do just for 30 seconds on a commercial,

the amount of money that goes into something that no one's going to watch. It's wild. It's antiquated. People don't want to sit through it anymore. No. They want to sit through my bookie ads when they're working out at the gym. One way or the other, advertisers figure out a, when they're working out at the gym. I mean, one way or the other,

advertisers figure out a way to get in there and we want them. Yeah. Okay. This is Dimitrios Gavritas. Wow. I have a hunch

that this might be a Greek kid. A hundred percent. Yeah. A hundred percent. Let's just have V start by talking Greek. First, you start.

Okay. And let's just start talking to him in Greek to see if he's a real Greek or if he's an FF like me. I might look down upon him in the Greek community because I don't speak Greek. No. Just start talking Greek to him. Leave him a voicemail in all Greek, too.

Kids have 516 on the island, right? Long Island. Jesus Christ. There's 9 million people on Long Island. I'm telling you, guy, we could sell tickets there. Your mother wishes there was one more in Levittown. Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system. Έλα, Δημήτρη, πού είσαι? Σε πήρα με τηλέφωνο και δεν το απάντησες.

Σε περιμένουμε και δεν... Έλα, πού είσαι? Είπαμε ότι θα πήραμε τηλέφωνο και δεν απάντησες. Σε περιμένουμε και δεν... Έλα, πού είσαι, είπαμε ότι θα σε πάρουμε τηλέφωνο και δεν απάντησες. Είμαστε τώρα με το Hyenas και πού βρίσκεσαι, δουλεύεις, εντάξει, οκ τα λέμε ρε μαλάκα, bye. Μαλάκα. Yeah! We do whatever we want. Whatever we want. We do whatever we want.

And these kids just keep paying $25. Thank you for your service. Thank you for your service. Yeah, yeah. All right. Continue. Yeah, we're at 25 minutes of this. What do we do?

We'll do a full hour episode? Yeah, we got to give them a full hour. All right. We got nothing else to do anyway. Well, we got to wait. We got meetings. I want a slice of pizza and an Impossible Burger. Hey, what's up?

Who's this FF? This is Alan. Wife doesn't like my feet. F got meetings. I want a slice of pizza and Impossible Burger. Hey, what's up? Who's this FF? This is Alan. Wife doesn't like my feet. Fumes Benson. What's up, guy? What's up, Kazi Wanzi? How you doing, guy? What's going on?

Kazi, you sound like you're in a submarine. I'm at work. I'm in my van right now driving around. Yeah, that's our fan. He's in the vans. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, all of our fans are in vans, and we have one lawyer fan.

Yeah, that's what it is. They're all in vans or job sites. Yeah, cuz. So where are you from? I'm from Connecticut. Wow. So it's safe to say you're a white kid. White kid.

Cuz, what part of Connecticut? Close to New York City? About an hour away from the city. Because come November 9th, we're doing a show, Gramercy Theater, midnight. We're going to put tickets on the Patreon. You want to come through? I'm fucking for sure coming. All right, guy.

We're going to leave you tickets. I mean, we're not going to leave you tickets. You got to buy them. Yeah, you got to buy them. Sorry. Yeah, Chris, we got to have a new character called Checked Out Chrissy. Yeah. Someone make Rafael DeLuca just compile all the Checked Out Chrissy moments

where he just doesn't know what's going on or call Chrissy blackouts or whatever. But anyway, guy, what do you do for a living? I do heating and air conditioning. Of course you do. Yeah, of course you do. Yeah, I mean, this is a classic high-heater fan right here. I mean, classic.

Heating and air conditioning. What's his fucking name again? Alan, my wife doesn't like my feet, June Spencer. Are you a family business that's been operating in the area for a long time? Yeah, out on the island, God. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so you do a lot of your work on the island? All my work's on the island.

But you live in Connecticut for the lower tax bracket. Yeah, yeah, dog. It's fucking stinking living out here. So what do you do? You take the ferry across the Sound, or what do you do? Every day I take the ferry. Yeah, you got to take the ferry. Well, you know what it is?

Connecticut tax is so much lower. Like, Long Island tax is so expensive because the question we have for you is, do you have any questions for us? This is your moment to ask Chrissy Chlamydia if he's dripping or not. I need to ask Chrissy Chlamydia when she'll be able to crack open my wife's sister because she fucking loves you. Yeah, absolutely. Once I finish his antibiotic, she'll get cracked.

Yeah. You guys can go on a double date to Pizzeria Uno's as long as he can bring the BAPI. Yeah. No, she could get cracked. I'll bring the BAPI. Yeah. No, she could get cracked. Yeah, I'll bring my BAPI. Yeah, send pics. DM my pics of your wife's sister. I will.

I'll send you a video. All right, fine. Thanks, cuz. We appreciate your service. Thank you so much. Love you. All right, yeah. You know what?

The kids who follow us know that they're going to get hung up on. Yeah, they don't care. They just know it's going to happen. Yeah, that kid's just driving. Yeah, he doesn't care. Yeah, I mean, that kid's going to put in a fucking air conditioning system somewhere. Yeah, yeah.

And you just know that you're going to get haybirded, and it's what it is. We thank you for your service. He just texted his wife. He's like, you're a hyena. Just call me. She just wrote back, okay. I mean, it would be a dream for him

if you cracked open his sister-in-law. That's the type of fans we have. He had one. I'll leave me a message, and I'll get back to you. Can't get her while she's sucking mylaw. That's the type of fans we have. Bonnie, give me Headley because I... Leave me a message and I'll get back to you. Can't get her unless you suck my dick. What's her name?

Bonnie, give me Headley because I can't get her unless you suck my dick. Bonnie. Bonnie, what's up? Say it one more time. It's already stopped. Okay.

Yeah. That's funny. That'll be the message. She gets it. Yeah, it's just what it is. She'll hear it on the episode. She'll get it. She'll like it.

Yeah. Yeah. Chris missed you a lot last week. I miss Chris a lot, yeah. He was kind of checked out at some point. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, because Sergio's width, he can only go so far, Sergio.

Yeah. He can only talk for 30 minutes, then he just starts making sounds. This is Billy TBG cranking it to a three-way with Mauricio De Stefano. Be bad. Yeah, he could only talk for 30 minutes. Let me just starts making sounds TBG cranking it to a three-way with Mauricio Okay, I'll leave her Marisa who is this When you finished recording just the you may hang up. Just the number. Or press 1 for more options. Listen, you missed your opportunity to talk to Chris DiStefano and Giannis Papas.

That's it. But listen, you're 917. That means you're New York City. And also, you're paying $25 to listen to the history hyena. That means you got a little bit of money. So I'll suck your dick with Chris DiStefano and put them both in my mouth like I'm eating two sausages that sit at Nathan's. Okay.

Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah, it's just, yeah. Once in a while, I got to let my true personality come out. Yeah, because that's the real Yannis. That's the real me. This is all character piece.

This is all character piece when I'm talking like this because I don't know who I am. Yeah, you don't know. Yeah. I don't know who I am. No, you're just a little, you're some of one thing,

a little bit of another. All I know is when I have a couple of drinks, I feel like I want to make bad decisions. Yeah. Yeah. We know that too from your group chat. Yeah. Yeah. This is Jen, piece of German puss puss cochlear.

Okay. Got it. Any Hyena fans come this past weekend? Yeah. Yeah. Patreon fans? Yeah. Yeah. There were Hyena fans there at Mohegan, for sure. Not as much as Uncle Vinny's in New Jersey was all Hyena fans,

all two sold-out shows. Mohegan was like, okay. The immediate area is blown out. I mean, it's blown out. The tri-state area. That's going to be exciting to meet the Hyena fans. I think we can sell out grammar we're gonna this is probably why the people who listen to this is probably already sold out

is not available at the tone please record your message. When you've finished recording, you may hang up or press 1 for more options. Hey, what's up, German piece of puss puss? I'll see you at the meetings on Thursday. Feinde, nein, schön, feinde. Yeah, we're not going to be able to. Can we hear that? This is his hiatus, by the way. Yeah, it's history hiatus, and it's a character piece.

Oh, yeah, sorry. Yeah, I mean, you listen to it now. We got hung up on, but that was Chrissy doing a character piece. He doesn't mean it. It's just Patty Mulroney. He's never been to the now. We got hung up on, but that was Chrissy doing a character piece. He doesn't mean it. It's just Patty Mulroney. He's never been to the city. Also, if you are not a Patreon member and you want to do us

a service, go on iTunes right now and leave us a review. That's something that's very important. And actually, if you read them, they're hilarious. Have you guys ever read them? Yeah, we read them all the time. We should start reading them during these calls, actually. Pull them up. Let's read them.

Damien, not a Leroy, married a Leroy, soft monkey name. Hey, Bert. This kid got it all in. He was a PPW, this kid. Yeah, why wouldn't we do it out there? It's here. Hello? What's up, boss?

What's your Patreon name again? I just gave him a new name. It's called fucking F&B Incorporated. Yeah. What's up, guy? It's the Hyenas. It's Damien, not a Leroy Marriott. A Leroy with a false monkey name.

Yeah! Because you're a 10. Yeah, you're a 10. Are you coming to the live show November 9th at the Gramercy Theater? Looks like I'm going to have to, aren't I? New York City, babe. You got to come, babe. Where do you live?

Because your area code is far away. Where is that? Jersey. I used to live in Dallas. I'm in to have to, aren't I? New York City, babe. You got to come, babe. Where do you live? Because your area code is far away. Where is that? Jersey. I used to live in Dallas. I'm in Philly now. But I'm Brooklyn-born, mass-peakled race. Wow. Brooklyn-born, mass-peakled race.

Yeah, how you doing? You made it all the way out to Long Island, and you took a detour. And then where are you now? Philadelphia. Philadelphia. Wow. Talk about fucking running around in a circle. Oh, my God.

What do you do for work now, guy? Yeah, I'm at work now. I work for a chemical company. We make a sterilizer for operating rooms. Steroids? Steroids, not steroids. Oh, sterilizers. Yeah, I need some of that.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm thinking of growing a period. Are you a married kid? Single kid? Yeah, but don't you want to know what the fourth monkey name is? I figured a girl would appear in. Are you a married kid? Single kid? Yeah. Don't you want to know what the sauce monkey name is? Yeah. Yeah.

What's the sauce monkey name? Yeah. Yeah. Angelina. A little boy named Angelina. Way strong she is. Yeah. So he's saying he married a black girl named Angelina.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's funny. Yeah. Does she like the podcast? She loves it. She actually came up with the name

And she said If you don't give me full credit Don't come home Hilarious Hilarious Cuz come out to the show November 9th Yeah

Yeah I want to You know It's two hours away I could do that easy Two hours Make it a fucking nice date night The show's at midnight

And then you crack open your wife Get her a nice hotel Whatever Yeah I'll fucking I'll send you some black and white cookies in the morning. Yeah, because what we're doing is we're giving Patreon it'll be posted on Patreon first, so if you do want to buy tickets, hop on. We're going to

have it up there for two days and then it's going to the toots. Okay, well I'm proud to be a non-toot. Well listen, listen, FF, the question I have for you is do you have any questions for us? This is your opportunity to ask me or Chrissy or Venetia, Mike, Zach, anything you want. Don't ask Zach because he doesn't speak English.

That's the problem. Oh, wow, you put me on the spot. I guess, Chrissy, gun to your head. Are you going to get a handy from Rosie O'Donnell or take it in the ass from Ryan Reynolds? I mean, he's kidding. He acted like he didn't have a question. He was locked and loaded.

Yeah, well, the truth of the matter is I've taken the ass from Ryan Reynolds before and I didn't have a gun to my head. So,

that's what it is. So, yeah, no, for me, it doesn't matter. A handy from Rosie O'Donnell or taking the ass

from Ryan Reynolds, it all feels the same. It doesn't matter. Father Bill ruined me. Yeah, because listen, they're both negatives because you didn't give him a third option, which is hop in Ryan Reynolds, it all feels the same. It doesn't matter. Father Bill ruined me. Yeah, because listen, they're both negatives because you didn't give him a third option,

which is hop in Ryan Reynolds' lap. He would have taken that if you had offered it. 100%, yeah. You'll hop in Ryan Reynolds' lap over taking a handy from anybody. I'll sit in Ryan Reynolds' lap over just about anything. Yeah. I'd sit in Ryan Reynolds' lap

over having unprotected sex with Sofia Vergara. There it is. There's your answer. Now go get yourself a hoogie and go home. Yeah, go get your order. Happy Tuesday. All right, see you later. Just hang up on him.

Love you. We're having fun with these calls. I got to pee, Venetia. Go, just go. I have to pee. Just go. Venetia will take your place. Okay.

Yeah. You were in here. I made a rule. I made a rule. What's the rule? You can't pee during the show. Oh, yeah. We're going to try to, you know. But how's he going to do that? He's got an STD. I mean You need a rule I mean a rule What's the rule? You can't peek through the show Oh yeah We're gonna try to

You know But how's he gonna How's he gonna do that He's got an STD That's true We have to be You know Before and after recording

You know Yeah And not on the phone That much anymore Yeah he's gotta get off the phone I mean I mean it for a rule For everybody

But we know It's really Chris It says Lauren Portuguese But no stache Because I got it Laser off Yay It's funny We. It says, Lauren, Portuguese, but no stache because I got it lasered off. Yay.

It's funny. We get complaints. I've gotten complaints. People being like, tell Chris to get off his fucking phone. I think people don't realize that you guys are in here for so many hours, so there's just a second where you got to turn off. I mean, it makes sense. I mean, I've been looking at it.

Yeah. But it's good you got this FF in check. Voice mailbox of... Tackled, right? Is this a girl or a boy? A woman, yes. What's up, you R.I.G.? That's Rhode Island girl.

I know you live in Providence because that's basically your whole state. So thank you so much for your service. Too bad you didn't pick up. You know, hopefully we'll call you again. I wish Chris was here, but he's in the bathroom, even though he shouldn't be, because Venetia made rules that he can't be by.

Come on November 9th and see us. Yeah, we're doing a live show. Come see the boys. Yeah, you get a chance to buy your tickets on Patreon. If not, one day we'll come to Providence eventually. So either way, get your tickets for November 9th, New York Comedy Festival, for our live hyena show, or we will see you in Providence one day. Peace out.

Thank you, Lauren. Lauren, we love you. 401, I know that's right. That's impressive that you know. Well, my ex-girlfriend's from Rhode Island. So you remember all the- I know the zip code, 401. The only ones I know are the New York numbers.

There's so many. Did you know that there's 9 million people that live in Long Island? I didn't know that. I did not know that until recently. 9 million on Long Island alone. That's wild. That's like, what's a big city? Like a million?

That's like just in Long Island. That's like nine times as many people as most of our big cities Just in Long Island That's how big New York City is in the New York City area Steel pipe Shawnee with a side of Franks and Beans Shawnee? Steel pipe Shawnee Shawnee?

Shawnee Shawnee That sounds not me Shawnee? I'm not here right now, but we've messaged At the tone, please record your message I'm not here right now, but we've met. At the tone, please record your message. When you have finished recording, you may hang up or press one for more options.

Shawnee, you missed your opportunity to speak with the hyenas. We assume you owe some bills and you thought we were a bill collector because everyone should know when you see the private call, that's the hyenas. Chrissy's back from the bathroom. Look at how much my armpits are sweating. Yeah. I mean, you're at FF. Yeah. Yeah. We'll call you again.

Thank you for your service. Come on November. Oh. Yeah. Well, he got haybirded. Yeah. Well, he's listening to the episodes. Come on.

You know, it's funny. These people who miss their opportunities, they're probably listening to this episode going, damn it. The ticket. I just got a text from the people at the New York Comedy Festival. The ticket link, they sent it to me. It's not populated yet, but it's going to go live. We'll announce tomorrow at 10 a.m.

They want us to announce it, and it goes live at 12. Sounds good, guy. Tomorrow. Do you think that James will come to one of the shows? Hebert? I mean, Jan, we've talked about having him out But I don't think

He's going to want to come I think that we should Try to convince him I would like for him to come But I just don't think He's going to say yes Jesse the Truffle Pig Greenburger

Oh Truffle Pig What's up babe Oh Yeah Yeah We're having Some of your fucking beers Yeah

Oh this is that kid This is Truffle Pig Drinking the beers And I'm brewing you guys Another set Wow Listen Truffle Pig drinking the beers. I'm going to get tucked back and I'm brewing you guys another sack. Wow. Listen, Truffle, are you coming to the show

November 9th at the Gramercy Theater? Are you going to trot your little Truffle Pig ass down there? Yeah, I want to know about when the tickets for the second show

go on sale. I missed the first one. I know. They're coming. We're putting them on sale pretty soon, probably tomorrow. We're going to put them

on sale tomorrow around noon, so check the Patreon, guy. I absolutely will. You live out on the island, huh? I'm from the island. I live in Crown Heights. I've been in Crown Heights for about 15 years. Wow.

Wow, so you're one of the early gentrifiers today. Yeah, a pioneer. That's nice, man. So you make beer? Well, I was in the bar business for a while, and I'm a certified Cicerone, which basically means I'm a beer nerd. So I love brews, and I love the pod. Yeah.

And the scent. Yeah, well, just to let people know, this kid, he made a brew for us, a History Hyenas brew. Yeah, which is illegal, but we appreciate it. Yeah, and if you sell one of them, we're going to sue you. We're going to sue you, Trouble Pig.

We're just kidding. I made them all for you. They're just for you guys. No, we appreciate it. You guys are cool, and I wanted to, Truffle Pig. We're just kidding. I made them all for you. They're just for you guys. No, we appreciate it. You guys are cool as I wanted to make you laugh. Yeah, we're good. Because bring them to the show November 9th if you can, if you want to come through. Bring some brews.

Oh, I'm going to get you guys wasted. Yeah. Make no mistake. Yeah. Truffle Pig, I got a question for you. Do you have a question for us? This is your opportunity to ask me or Chrissy or Venetia or Zach or Mike. Anything you want, Truffle.

Go. Oink, oink. Wow. Well, I think I got to go back to maybe my favorite moment of the pod, which is Chris's ass is wild. Yes. Because that same week the episode came out, I was waiting for the results of my first colonoscopy. Yeah. And make no mistake, I thought I was here for a good time,

not a long time. Yeah, but how was it? Did you have a clean ass? Yeah, but we had the same symptoms, so I felt like we were bonded through our butts. Yeah, we got butt boys, yeah. But not kids, okay?

Let me ask you a question, did he tell you to just come back when you're 50, like you got a good clean ass? No, he said I should come back every three years. I had like two little polyps. Oh, me too.

No biggie. I had two pops too. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. We're meant to be, but we had like two little polyps. Oh, me too. No biggie. I had two polyps too. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. We're meant to be, cuz. Yeah, cuz, just make sure you clean your ass with witch hazel so you got a nice clean ass. It's what it is. Make sure the ass is clean. And I got a luxe bidet attachment.

Wow. Oh, wow. This kid's got a fucking... Home-based dumps are a whole new thing. Wow. He takes clean ass to a whole new level because he's a screwed-in truffle pig. He's a screwed-in truffle pig. Yeah, he's just...

Yeah, oink, oink. Yeah. All right, cuz. Happy Hanukkah. I'll see you later. Thank you for your service. Hey, Bert. Hey, Bert.

That's right. Yeah, I like when the fans hate Bert themselves. They know it. They know what it is. So that is all for today. Yeah, that was it. We did them all? We got fans from all races, persuasions, genders.

We love it so much, man. We're here for a good time. Yeah, the rest of them are for the end of this month. Yeah. Okay, so we'll do it again at the end of this month. Well, it's 42 minutes. That's it. much, man. We're here for a good time. Yeah, the rest of them are for the end of this month. Yeah. Okay, so we'll do it again at the end of this month. Well, it's 42 minutes. That's it. That's it.

Yeah, it's just phone calls. All right, it's just phone calls. Yeah, now we've got to do a meeting now. Vanity has got notes. Yeah, Vanity just told me the Chrissy rules. I love them. Yeah, there's new rules for Chrissy. Yeah.

Just make sure you go to our website, histrainers.com. That's where you can go to Giannis' website, Chris' website, all the Instagrams. And make sure you follow us, tag us, get our merch, takeanus.com. That's where you can go to Giannis' website, Chris' website, all the Instagrams. And make sure you follow us, tag us, get our merch, take your picture in it.

Yeah. Thank you so much. Thank you, Mike. All right. Yeah, christycomedy.com, giannispapas.com? giannispapascomedy.com. giannispapascomedy.com.

Some FF bought my websites. And where are you, Jamestown? I'm in Jamestown, and that's it. And that's it. That's on the 18th, I said. Okay, guy.

Yeah. I'm at – when is this episode coming out? Patreon this week. This week? Okay, so come see me at the Sacramento Punchline or don't. I don't want to be there. So if you want to see like vintage Chris not wanting to be somewhere, come to Sacramento Punchline October 10th to the 12th. Then I got Comedy Club on State, Madison, Wisconsin, October 17th to the 19th.

Great club. And then Gotham House of Comedy, Minnesota, November 21st to 23rd. And then Gotham Comedy Club, November 29th and 30th. Yeah. And of course our live shows, November 8th and 9th.

Yeah. And thank you to our $25 members. We appreciate it. These episodes are for you. And everybody, just continue to tell your friends about the podcast if not go leave us a review on itunes peace bye