History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - Robert Maxwell: Chased the tingle into the sea | History Hyenas

Episode Date: February 19, 2026

This week on History Hyenas, we dive into Robert Maxwell — disgraced media mogul, alleged intelligence asset, and father of Ghislaine Maxwell — whose mysterious 1991 death at sea still fuels speculation. From looting pension funds to rumored ties to Mossad, Maxwell’s rise and fall cast a long shadow over the world later exposed by Jeffrey Epstein. We break down the scandals, the secrets, and the possible connections in a dark, wild deep dive you don’t want to miss. Support our sponsors: Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code HYENAS. https://bluechew.com Go to https://Quince.com/hyenas for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. New customers can make the switch today and for a limited time, get unlimited premium wireless for just $15 per month. Switch now at https://MINTMOBILE.com/HYENAS. #comedy #Podcast #History Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas/ Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit.ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0 Hyenas Merch!!! https://store.historyhyenaspod.com Follow us Cuz! 🙆🏻‍♂️ Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ 🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ 🐕More Hyenas Website: www.historyhyenasisback.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/historyhyenas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HistoryHyenas Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/historyhyenaspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Searchlight Pictures presents in the blink of an eye on Hulu on Disney Plus, a sweeping science fiction drama spanning the Stone Age, the present day, and the distant future, about the essence of what it means to be human, regardless of our place in history. The film is directed by Oscar-winning filmmaker Andrew Stanton and stars Rashida Jones, Kate McKinnon, and Dave Diggs. Stream in the blink of an eye, February 27, only on Hulu on Disney Plus. Sign up at Disneyplus.com. We got a great episode for you today. We get into the history of Robert Maxwell,

Giselaan Maxwell's daddy. He was a naughty boy. Morty boy, and I'm banged up on the THC shelter. Yeah, Chrissy's a little high. You can catch me in Bakersfield, California, this weekend at the Well Comedy Club. Then you can catch me at Soul Joles, March 6th. What it is.

Then we're going to his wedding. Then we're going to his wedding. March 6. Pottstown, PA, Laugh, Boston, April 17th and 18th. West Nyack, April 24th, and 26th, and Emmaus, Pennsylvania, May 2nd, Janus Pappascom, for tickets. Because you got back-to-back, THC cities. You got Bakersfield, California, and then Pottstown, PA. Yeah.

Yeah. And Patreon.com slash history hyenas for our bonus episodes and our weekly content. Yes, and the Patreon we put out this past week is the hardest I've ever laughed in my life, and I think you're going to want to listen. Chrissy was actually crying. What's up, everybody? April can be freezing at night if you're in New York City, but if you got a cute jacket and you're into that type of thing,

it's the place for you. That's what it is. There's no way to get out of consequences, because if you want to go to Texas or something like that, then you're going to have to deal with spiders and comedians yelling F words. Oh, right, yeah. So there's just, you always got to pay for them. And the, and you got to deal with the insects.

You got to deal with the insects. You got to deal with a lot of things. big people. Oh, did you mean, you meant spiders as insects? I meant insects. What did you think? I thought you were talking about, I thought he was saying like illegals. No.

Yeah. You got to deal with that as well. Texas, I thought you were calling him spiders. Yeah, they were up here too, though. I'm just kidding around. Just got one in his neighbor. He said he's got a hotel. Yeah, yeah, Jesse's got a bunch of Venezueling guys that hang out on the, on the bench.

Yeah. I was just kidding about that. I'm still high. I want to get Carvel. Nobody got me Carvel. Yeah. And, and yeah, the bar. The bottom line is, look, March comes in like a lion, goes out like a lamb.

April showers, bring May flowers. It bring May flowers. And June, time to blow up the-June. June, bloom. July, find a guy. July, find a guy and get high. Yeah, find a guy and get high. August.

It doesn't rhyme with anything. August is our birthdays. The only person who can make August rhyme is Eminem. Eminem. September. September. Remember. Remember.

Remember. my birthday. October. You know her. October. Yeah, they say Cocktober, Rocktober. October. October.

No. November. November. November. November. November. Come over. November.

November. November. November is a dilemma. A dilemma. It's a dilemma. Yeah. December suspenders because you got bad ass Santa Claus. Yeah.

September suspenders and then January, January, January, January, January, and then January, January, that's my name is January. That's my name is January. February. February. February. February. February and then Black history month. Black history month.

Listen, we're going to remember this year for the rest of our lives because it was such a cold. winter in the northeast. The Epstein Files. Epstein files. I'm just going to call him Epstein. Because are you high? Well, Me and Jester on T.H.E.

Big, big, big, big, big. Well, Rachel's last name. Feinstein? Yeah, it's Feinstein. It's not Rachel. It's not Rachel. It's not Rachel Feinstein. It's Rachel Feinstein.

Rachel Feinstein. So you got to add a later, You got to Jew it up a little bit. Right. Rachel Feinstein. Feinstein. Feinstein. I'm really good.

Oh, I love Rachel. Ooi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi. Rachel. Oi, Oi, oi. I think if there was Jewish pirates, they wouldn't go, ah. They'd go, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi. Now, cause.

Cause, talk to me. You told me what the bottom line is. What's the top line? Yeah, okay, so the bottom line is, yeah, I told you the bottom line off the end. What's the fucking top line? The top line. The top line. What's the top line?

Top line. I want to live in. Top lines get my own apartment. I want to move to Long Island. Yeah. Cus, are you looking at the island? No, I'm not looking at the island, but I am looking at another house in my neighborhood. I got an appointment tomorrow at 9.30.

Now, how does it work? Is anyone going to be buying Little St. James? And how the fuck you get an island? I didn't know there was islands you could just get. You could get because they got money, money, money. I never seen one on Zillow. I mean, because some of our friends got. Some of our friends get amusement parks.

Have you ever met a friend who had an island? Isn't there Hollywood celebrities that got like islands around Greece or something? Because I've only ever been on Staten Island, Long Island. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. And those aren't even really islands. Staten Island is.

Not Long Island. Well, we're technically an island too. It's all islands, right? Yeah, because, I mean, yeah. It's just whatever you want to call it. Whatever you want to say. Whatever you want to do, whatever you want to say. Whatever you want to say, United States is the best.

We're the best Olympic team. We're fucking just better than every country. The United States is awesome. Everybody else sucks. Let's take a peek, because you can buy Rang-Yay Island. How much? For $160 million. You could buy a long Coco K for $75 million.

What's crazy is it's not out of like the realm of possibility for people. Yeah. Like obviously not us, but like 75 million, it's like there's billionaires there. They could just buy it in cash. Yeah. But then what's the point? What do you deal with it? Well, that's the thing.

If you're going to buy an island, what's the point? Why couldn't you just go down to the Poconos? Why, I mean to a... Not the Poconos. Bermuda, Bahamas. Bahamas, but what was the one when we were kids? They'd all go to Acapulco. Oh, Mexico.

Yeah, remember Acapulco used to be a hot spot. Now you go down there and you get killed by the cartel. Yeah, tourists get killed left and right. Yeah, but if you're buying Pumpkin Key Island, you're buying it to sex traffic. It's just what it is. You're going to do something illegal because otherwise, why would you... Why was that the island? Yeah.

So for 75 Schmel, oh, and it's in Florida. But because Pumpkin Key is a feckin' key. Yeah. Look at Pumpkin Key. Yeah, I mean, so you buy the island, but that already has shit on it, it has houses and stuff on it. I just want to know, like, what is it about people at the top level that they like to build an owl in the woods and then burn it? Like, why does everyone act like camp teenagers?

Well, because I think what happens is when you get to, like, the really, really tippity top, like of elite society. you know, these one percentage they do things. I think they might have some, I really think this. I think that they get privy to information that most humans are not privy to. They find out some kind of secret and any of that they're doing it because they're like paying some homage to whatever creator is or whatever information they have. Or they know that we're stuck in just this prison planet and we're going to keep getting recycling and recorinated. And they say, you know what? Nothing matters anyway.

I'll burn the owl. I'll drink the kid's blood. It doesn't matter. We just die and get re-looped because we're in a prison planet where an ancient civilization is eating our negative thoughts and that there's actually nothing that you're seeing. Nothing is actually real. What the moon is is a reflecting device. Right.

And every time you look at the moon, it actually, it's just a device that reflects light and shows you exactly what you want to see. But the reality is you're nothing here. You're probably just a brain in a jar. That's probably so. That's why they burn the owl. That's why they burn the owl. That's why they burn the owl.

That's why they burn the owl. Yeah, because they always do. do weird stuff, right? They put masks on, they put pajamas on. But it could, what I'm saying makes sense. It does make, it makes a lot of sense. Yeah, it's just what it is. That actually makes a lot of sense.

I think that's actually the best explanation I've heard. Yeah. Is that the reason why they're burning the owl in there is because the moon is a mirror and we're a brains in a jar. And I think that they just know that. They get some kind of confirmation of that. Yeah. Maybe not that scenario, but something like that.

And then they just don't care. Wouldn't you not care if you got confirmed? Because the only thing that's confirmed is our sexuality. Confirmed. Yeah. Yeah, you're probably right. Or it could just be that burning an owl is super fun. Just like, remember, like if you were in camp, because they seem to do like a lot of camp stuff.

Yeah, because you're like, let's go to retreat together. Let's, oh, let's make macramay. Let's put on PJs. Let's have a dance party. Yeah. Let's dress like dogs. Like, it's fun camp stuff. Because I got to be honest with you, though, if I ever saw someone burn an owl, it would make me really upset because I say,

you're bird of my friend Yanni. Because you look like an owl. I do look like an owl. You look like an owl. You look like an owl with some snooze in it. Yeah. They just... There's a club that you get into that seems to...

That we're not in. We're not in. And I'm talking about even... Not even that club. I'm talking... It seems to be like an elite club that runs across professions. Right. It runs across international lines.

Right. It's just kind of like a club where they like to eat pizza. drink grape soda and they love beef jerky. It's what it is and that probably is our minors. That's probably, I mean, or the kid just had a hankering for beef jerky all the time. You know, if I didn't have cholesterol and blood pressure issues, I would eat beef jerky a lot.

Would it be weird though if me and you were in an email correspondence and I just kept bringing up like my beef jerky? That would be weird, right? Yeah. I don't even think I would have an email correspondence with you where I would keep talking about pizza. How many times do we bring up pizza? I mean, well, we talk about pizza a lot, but we call it Pete. So just so you know, if you ever see an email from me and Yanni and we're talking about pizza, just know it's a fake because we say Pete's.

Yeah. It's just, Jeffrey Eustine loved beef jerky. Yeah. He just loved it. Delicious lunch, beef jerky. Mmm. It's what it is. Is that what he had for lunch?

So the kid just had beef jerky. Yeah. Six bags in the downstairs freezer for this trip. Six bags of beef jerky? It's what it is. It just seems wild. Yeah, because we went wild on text. We did, right?

Well, we'll do a text episode. I said, I said. Save it. Save it. What do you mean? Save it for the $25. Should we just do it now in the moment and then we'll cut it? Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, sometimes it's just good, right, to crack them open. Yeah, it's just fun. Yeah, we just have a good time when we text. Yeah, and it's just good. You got to be silly. You got to be silly. You got to be silly. You got to let go.

The thing about the text is you can cross the line. You know, you can have a really good time. Yeah. You can have a really good time. Yeah, you have fun and people are like, oh, but like don't free, like, they could see your text messages. I don't care anymore. Do you care anymore about like if the phone has your fucking facial recognition technology and AI can use your likeness?

Who cares? I don't care. I don't care at all. I don't care. Whatever. Take it. Take my social security number. I don't care.

Yeah. I mean, what are you resisting? Just to go with it. You got to submit. You got to submit. Yeah, I think that's what I said to you. I said, I'm submitting. So I'm...

You submit to Allah. You're going full Muslim now. You just have to submit to it. Yeah. And that's the only way. Because what the little THC does is get you... You get a cathartic laugh. You laugh a lot.

Yeah. You're laughing every day. I don't laugh that much. Because you're present right now. That's what T. That's what it does, probably. Yeah, it's bring you present. So you're present right now.

You're here. So I got to do more THC. Well, you're going to, that's going to, you're going to run into trouble that way. But how do you want to, because that's what we call a shortcut. A shortcut, yeah. You're in a shortcut right now, but it's giving you evidence that when you're fully here, you're actually enjoying yourself immensely. Yeah, because I never laugh.

I never dance in concerts. No, you just, you're, because you're somewhere else. Worrying about losing stuff. You're worrying about losing things constantly. Constantly. Yeah, you're worried about the dark. Yeah. You're, you're, you have a lot of fear.

in you. Yeah. But why? Because of your childhood. So how do I fix it? You call up the town, you get a permit, and you get a roof over, and you let them bang around up there a little bit. Yeah. You just need somebody to bang around up there a little bit. Right. But you got to, you got to, want to, you got to, like, want to go in there and, like, really want it. You can't just go on there and talk about your day. But then do you got to talk about your feelings? And then you go to see the pros. What do you mean? Eventually, the prozac. Then you go, you can go to, you can go to The pros. Yeah, I want to go to the pros.

Yeah, you can stop being an amateur. You can go to the pros. You could call my boy Lex. Right. He'll take care of you. Okay. A little, he's also a pro. He's a pro.

He's a pro? Yeah, he's a pro. Yeah, he's a pro. Yeah. I mean, you know, that's a basic. If you want to go basic, just go to a little Lexi. Lexi is sexy. What's a good one?

What's one that'll knock you out? Well, they go. Lonnie, Clonnie. No, well, the Clonis will, Clonis will make you sleep. Right. But if you want a little space from the anxiety, Lexi's good for that. Lexi.

A little bit of anxiety. Can you do a little lexie and a little wheat? I think you can. But it's not more the Lexi. I think it's, you know, it's the roofer. You need the roofer with the pro. You need the roofer who's a pro and then you need him to send you to the pros. Yeah.

I mean, that's, but unless, you know, if you really want it, it depends on what you want. We're all free to find out what we want. But if you're enjoying it, because this is the first time I think I've ever seen you laugh and you cried. I mean, I was laughing, crying with, because you never laugh. You never, you're never listening. Listen, here's the thing.

You got to do yourself a favor, everybody. You need to go to patreon.com slash history hyenas. The Patreon episode that we just put up when we start playing videos of my Uncle Russell, I, it's the funny, I literally, you've never seen me laugh like that. My eyes were turning inside out. And then the $25 level,

we just read last week's text messages and I almost started vomiting from laughing. Yeah, we got a new series. out there, text where we're just going to read our text once in a while up there, and that's what you're just going to get at the $25 level. So wait, because before you went to the pros, were you not present or was not being present, not your problem? You're always present.

No, I wasn't present. Yeah. So now you know it's a clear difference from what being present is and what being not present is. I know there's a clear difference between being present and what, not being present. I know there's a clear difference between having awareness about yourself, and I have a clear understanding about how you need to integrate your personality, you need to integrate yourself. You got to reintegrate yourself into one and accept all.

There's things we put over here with shame. There's things over here from fear. And they're away. You got to bring that back all into you so you're one full person. The good, the bad, the ugly. So right now I'm six or seven different people. You're about six or seven different people. Yeah, but the thing is, it's fun being all these people.

If it's fun, then you just keep doing it. I mean, you're free to do what you got to do. It's up to you. I mean, New York. I need to get in the pros. Yeah, it's up to... Jesse, do you feel like one person? No, not at all.

No? Yeah, I feel like five different people. Right. Yeah. Yeah, I think we, you know, it depends on what you go. Look, I think everybody in here has got a little leak. Sure. Because, I mean, look at what we're doing.

I mean, yeah. Yeah. This is, this, this, these types of career choices used to be only for leaky roofs. Yeah. Now everyone's doing it because they don't know what else to do. do. Right. But we've been doing it since only leaky roof people. We got into it for, because we have leaks in our roof. It's just what it is. And usually, by the way, I love what we do an episode here, which is promoting your other show the whole time. Where?

Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That show airs. I mean, once every time the Olympics comes out. Yeah. I mean, you don't even know what it's coming. I mean, it could be once every three months. Yeah. It's just whenever we get ads. Whenever there's ads, we may do it. But yeah, it's, it's a I think we get into this because we got a leak, you got a little bit of a leak, and I think that that just is unresolved stuff. It's just what it is. You just got to resolve.

Because just bad feelings that you've got to learn how to feel, and because bad feelings are not bad. They're a clue. Right. It's a clue. It's trying to tell you something. Yeah. You're trying to go look behind the door number two.

Well, that's why people, I think, do major shortcuts, and they do a little thing called ayahuasca. Yes. Supposedly, all those things that are learning. You see them with ayahuasca. You can do that way people do that. No, I don't want to do ayahuasque. I think that's a little bit of a shortcut, in my opinion.

Right. But it works. You know what I like doing the THC? I always sleep good. And then I get rested the next morning. Well, that's good. But the only problem is you may end up getting dependent on that. That's the problem.

That's the problem. Yeah. I mean, well, I mean, because, well, the thing is, if, you know, if your wife turned around and told you that after you took her to the Backstreet Boys last week, she wants to go back in this weekend, you would need a little weed seltzer too. That is a point. I can't argue. So it's like if that wasn't on that, I probably wouldn't be having a weed seltzer in seven slices if I wasn't having to force myself to go back to Vegas to see a concert I didn't want to see in the first place.

Yeah, well, that is a point I cannot argue. I was so thankful to not have to go back to an airport. Yeah, I can't argue that point. Yeah, that's something I could say. I would have to double up on the Celsius. Yeah, you just double up on a seltz. And let me tell you something right now. You do look very, very cute today.

We established it on the Patreon, but your jeans are too tight. And they're too close. Your jeans are close. Well, that's the thing is when I put out a little weight, everything gets a little tight. But, okay, because you said in the Patreon that you don't care at all about how you look. You don't care if you come in your ass 95% dirty. You'll wear, like, your clothes.

But like, don't you guys as a fashionista, doesn't it bother you if your clothes are tight? Or how do you feel about that? I just, well, then I have to go buy on. I have different wastes. Right. And then I, much like you, I'll try to put a bunch of jeans on. Yeah. And they just don't work.

So I'll have to actually find the ones. Right. I have to find my fat jeans. Right. So I got to like look through and find them. And then for a while I was wearing all these jeans that I used to wear. And it was great. Right.

And then now I can only fit into about two pair. So this is one of the two pair I can fit in. Fit it to. Yeah. And they're close. Squeeze. Like I. So, and it's interesting too because it's like, yeah, I think that's my anxiety and stress too.

Because if I couldn't fit into my clothes, I'd cry. I'd try. you how many times I've cried about my weight, that has to be anxiety and unresolved issues. There's no other option, because. Because, I mean, the fact that I cried my clothes don't fit and my uncle's a cat judge is 10, right? Yeah, it's 10, yeah.

And my mom hides the beers under the vegetables. It's very funny. Yeah. And if you're truly crying, if you can't fit into your pants, like truly crying. Right. Yeah. That means there's unresolved issues. There's no other option.

Yeah. Because you shouldn't be crying. Yeah. Because it happened to me. I'll put it to everyone. When I went to the Knicks game on Tuesday. Yeah, I'll put it simply. This is the way you know.

If you're crying at things you're not supposed to be crying at, then there's what we call an unresolved issue. So as a man who's got a perfectly, thankfully, thankfully happy, healthy family and life, if I cry four days out of seven, that's a problem. That means that there's what we call, and I'll say it again, unresolved issues. It's what it is.

Yeah, because it can't be about that. Right. It's not about that. Yeah, because I like to cry a lot. If you're running the water in the bathroom to take a piss, right? Why is that? Right. You don't need to run the water to go to the bathroom, but you're doing it because you need some noise.

You get a little anxiety. Yeah. I need to have my phone. Yeah, like something, whatever it is. I need to play music. Yeah, you need something. So you're scared to be alone. Scared to be alone.

I'd say it's probably big that you're scared to be alone. That's probably why you may disappear or you'll be unsafe or something. Well, that's probably why I love New York City so much. because I never feel like I'm alone. That's probably why you, yeah. Right? And that's why the country bugs me out a little bit. Probably, yeah.

It's probably. But some people are just the opposite. They like to be alone. But here's the thing, because all your problems or whatever make you a very charming kid, so it's whatever you want to do, you're going to be fine either way. As long as you're not taking girls to an island.

Which I'm not. Which, that's a good time. It's a good time not to have an island. It's what it is. Well, I am taking girls to island. It's called fucking Treasure Island in Las Vegas. You would think that people would say, I got an island, I'm happy. But it just shows you nobody's ever happy because the kid was rich enough to have his own island.

He was like, that's not good enough. I need to transport minors across state lines to my island. Now, and give them away. That's Jeffrey Epstein. We're going to talk about. But who a lot of people don't talk about is his partner in crime, Galane Maxwell's father, Robert Maxwell, because this is the one who started it all. Supposedly.

You might not have any Jeffrey Epstein without Robert Maxwell. Because right now I'm feeling a little buzz, and you know what I could really use is a hard cock. That's why I turn to blue chew. I like to chew them. Blue chew will get you nice and rock hard, get you saluting, get you up. Hey, let's be honest.

Even if you got no problems down there, it doesn't hurt to give your dick a little steroids. Give it a little steroids. Do you think gay guys sometimes like to just eat blue chews off you, other's limb cox? I think so. Yeah. They do. Yeah. If you want to go for round two, three, and four, you got to go and get yourself a blue chew gold that dissolves under your tongue and works in as little as 15 minutes. That means you can get in quicker and stay in the game longer. Because could I put blue chews on pizza? You could get blue chews. Can I cut up, can I, um,

smash them up and put him in a little corvel? Yeah. I wonder if you put, if you took a blue chew and stuffed in your ass, would it still get your bloodstream? and put you a boner? Cuds. Because that almost feels like you're putting it in a dick slot. If I put a blue chew in my ass, the only thing we'd do would probably knock some of the cum out of it. Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at blotchew.com.

And we've got a special deal for our listeners. Just get 10% off your first month of Blue Chewold with the code hyenas. That's promo code hyenas. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. and we thank Bluetooth for sponsoring the history hyenas. I don't know if there's a better online place to shop than Quince. I've honestly, you got your jacket that you got. I sent you a link of the same-ish jacket for half the price.

I have about five sweatshirts from there. My winter jacket that I'm wearing right now from Quince right over there. I got betting from there. I got socks from there because I'm fucking Quincy Jones. Yeah, so all you got to do is go download the Quinn's app and peruse for yourself. They work directly with top factories and cut out the middleman. So that's why it's so affordable. You can get your skinny pants from there, your fat pants from there.

Whatever you need, you're not paying for brand markup, just quality clothing. Everything is built to hold up to daily wear and still look good season after season. Yeah, so check this out. refresh your wardrobe with Quince, go to quince.com slash hyenas for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash hyenas. Free shipping and 365-day returns, quince.com slash hyenas. It's very interesting to think that this guy, you know,

His legacy Was is one of the most Infinite in his I mean infamous in history right? Right but he's been upstage by his daughter Who was his Favorite child But she was his favorite child not because he picked her to like take over the business and all that She willed herself according to their mother

She wrote a book the mother wrote a book later Talked about what kind of piece of shit this guy was Yeah And she said my daughter willed her, willed herself into being his favorite kid. Wow. So all she cared about was pleasing her dad.

Right. And the way you do that with a narcissist piece of shit like, like Robert is you just give him whatever he wants, whatever he's into, you're into. You just mirror whatever he is. And so he doted over her so much. He named his yacht,

the lady jizzling or whatever. called Lady Gasoline. I like to call it Gasoline Maxwell. Maxwell, yeah. And that's the, that's the, that is the boat that he fell off when he tripped over his shoelace and he chased the tingle right into the water. So he was perfectly healthy and just died in a boating accident. He was, he was in his 60s and, yeah, there was no health issues. So what he chased the tingle, meaning he was running after a girl and he fell? Meaning when you look at his life, no, when you look at his life, right, he had a very interesting life Robert Maxwell. He was a very, very, very poor

Orthodox Jew from Czech from the Czech Republic. Although he was British. Well, this is the thing. So his real name is not Robert Maxwell. So his real name is like, Wulah, well, yeah, something like that.

And his real name is Jan Ludwig Hyman bin Jamin Jashemyn Jahn Ludwig Hyman bin Shamin'amyn Khoshe. He grew up like in a very, like, extreme. poverty, like no shoes type of poverty in this Orthodox Jewish community. And he left.

He was a smart kid and he left. And he left it, like he went to France. And along the way, he was just learning languages. The guy ended up speaking like nine languages. Damn. So he leaves. And at that time, Nazi Germany starts doing what they did. Right.

So he ends up. It was our version of collectivism. Right. Yeah. Yeah, that's the way to call. So everyone's just going to get together and you're all going to go through that door. You're going to go through that door together. Yeah.

Yeah. But you put a glove on to open the door because it's hot. It's what it is. Yeah. And so he goes, he makes his way to Britain and he joins the military there. Right. And he ends up becoming like a fucking ferocious warrior. Right.

Like he's in fire fights and, you know, he ends up making it to intelligence. because of his language skills. But he was a sick fighter. He was a sick fighter. He won some medal of bravery for something. He gets into the intelligence branch of the British military. Right. Right.

And then the war's over and he goes back to check and he's in charge of sort of some post-war administration. And that's where we get the first controversies about him. That this is a trauma-baked kid. Yeah. So he. he ends up looking the other way on a lot of the atrocities that were done to former Nazis

or citizens who were German or whatever he lets the torturing happen big big and before he can be tried or anything happens he just bounces he's back and he's back in England so a little controversy there that he skirts around there was no internet there so he just got away with it he was probably pretty cruel to POWs and stuff like that what it was

yeah the kid got some revenge right then he goes back there. He changes his name to Robert Maxwell to sound like very British. He officially changes his name. He becomes a British citizen because he's a war hero and he kind of rides that out. Right. Then the next thing you know, he ends up being a ruthless

businessman and he ends up buying the Daily Mirror, right? The Daily Mirror becomes his thing. I've heard of this paper. Yeah, it was, he becomes, he purchased the Mirror Group newspaper. and the Daily Mirror becomes like his thing.

That's this thing. He's got other stuff going on too. He's a big hostile takeovers. Like he's doing it all. He's a vicious businessman. Right. Early on, he had, he founded the Pergamon press. And he wanted to take it public or he wanted to sell it.

And then the company he was selling it to ran an audit on their numbers. And that's when he was publicly disgraced the first. first time. The kid was skimming. Kid was stealing big. Right. And so it was a big story too, but he's, what was he robbing? He was robbing money. He was just robbing a lot of money. So then that's a big story in England, but somehow he goes back and he starts purchasing all the shares of Paragon. And he gets back on the board somehow, and he does a hostile takeover and takes the company back. It's what it is. Yeah. So he's just a kid who's resilient, but also as sleazy as they come. He's pushing. He's, he is a pushy, Pushy guy.

Yeah. He's very pushy. So then from there, after all this controversy is known about him, he ends up making the big purchase of the mirror group. And then he runs a very successful paper to the Daily Mirror. He uses it as his propaganda arm. And he writes bad stories about his rivals. Him and Rupert Murdoch are rivals.

His paper is more like the left wing paper. Rupert Murdox is more like the right wing paper. Did Rupert Murdoch ever go? going Epstein, Thailand, or no? We don't know. We don't know. We don't know. I haven't heard him yet. No. Yeah. No. And then, um, he, he uses it.

He's very pro-Israel in his, in his article, in his daily mirror. And he lives. He gets rich. He has nine kids. Um, the oldest one dies, goes into a coma and dies, uh, trauma. He, he, he cheats on his wife constantly. He's got hos and all the area codes. He's, uh, he,

he puts his kids against each other. Very tough. He was kind of like, uh, Menendez Sr. Right. Without all the sexual abuse and he was just kind of a dick. Yeah.

And then he, um, becomes a member of parliament for a little while. He just gets into high society. Right. But it, his skin, then,

then, but his scandal he's known, like he's known as like, a bad dude. But he's still pushing his way in there. He just gets in. He just gets in. And then the big, big scandal hits.

And it was like one of the biggest in business history. He stole like 400 million from his company from his employees from their pensions. Their pensions. So he was just running up a tab stealing all his employees' monies. And how did he not go to jail for that? So it was all in the works. That's what was going down when we lost them. Oh.

So he used the mirror group pension money to prop up other failing companies and support his stock price. So he was basically running a version of a Ponzi scheme. He was stealing from his employees to pay for his other shit. Right. So he was just in debt and he was disgraced and he owed all this money. And make no mistake, this is one of the largest scandals. This is up there with Bernie Madoff. Right.

Huge, right? So it's actually considered like one of the largest corporate scams in history. And so, and he's a well-known guy in high society. So he's completely disgraced. At this point, he sends, before this, he sent Giselaide Maxwell to America to be sort of his social scout. She doesn't do shit except party. Right. He meets people and networks for him.

So that's what she's doing. and he has two twin boys running his company. They're like the vice president of the other one. And they all got fucked by this, right? So the theory is, the theory is he either killed himself because his back was against the wall and it was all falling apart. In my opinion, he doesn't seem like the type of guy that wouldn't continue to fight and figure something out because he already had been disgraced big once before and came back.

Right. Right. So he's a known theme. He's a known piece of shit. Right. He was able to bounce back. He goes on his yacht with his wife and the staff, and he's like, sail me to the Canary Islands or some shit. And then one night, he just mysteriously falls off the boat.

Right? They do a quick autopsy. They close and they do the same thing with Epstein. Quick off does he have a heart attack. And they say heart attack. That's it. But his body fell into the water. He just fell into the water.

Yeah. They say he had a heart attack and he'd fall. fell under the water. Right. So. But maybe he did, but you think somebody made him have a hard time. Well, the theory is, and this sounds very much like his personality. The theory is, is he was a big-time Mossad asset.

Right. You know, because he was in bed with intelligence from all over. He wasn't exclusive either. He was just, he loved Israel and he was working. They say he was working for Israel, but he also, to the highest bidder, he was like a quadruple agent. He was using his, you know, he was using his leverage in the world for money, for influence, for political. He would use it if the politicians would go easy on regulating him, whatever. It was just a player. Yeah. He was a dirty player. And so they suspect there's author wrote a book

and a few other people are saying what could have happened or according to this one guy who's a little, He's not that. He's supposedly a former ex-Missad guy who says what happened was is that there was some big arms deal that he was involved in. Much like they're saying Jeffrey Epstein might have been involved. And it's interesting. Like similar types of people without the pedophilia shit that we know of. He did some arms deal on and he was the liaison, the middleman between Israel and whatever arms deal. And it was like this big scandalous arm.

deal and he was threatening to reveal that unless the Mossad paid him $400 million to get him out of his debt. Right. And the Mossad was like, no, we're just going to get rid of you. And since you're threatening to blackmail us, you're now a threat to us. And so now we're going to make you chase the tingle right into the ocean. It's just what it is. And he was a kid who loved the tingle.

He was a big gambler. Yeah. He was a big. He liked to gamble with these companies. Yeah. Women were like, it was crazy how many women he would bang out. Right. So he was a kid who liked to chase the tingle.

It's just what it is. And then when you threaten the Mossad and try to blackmail the massage, you're a kid who likes the tingle. You'll get killed for that. And then so wait, so then he gets. But then the interesting thing is he then gets Israel's state held funeral. That's the thing. So that tells you that not only was he a massad. He was probably very high up in the massage.

Yeah. And they also, someone gave a speech at his, someone high up gave a speech at that funeral and said he's done more for Israel. that I than I can say or something. If we can pull the exact quote, it was something, praise him as a great friend of Israel, but there was also a specific quote

where he's like, he's done more for Israel than I can say or something cryptic like that. He obviously, I mean, yeah, I mean, he's not an Israeli citizen. No. So it's like, what is this? What is this?

What is this? Yeah. Yeah. And his daughter, of course, Galane Maxwell, and this is where, you know, everything gets tied because maybe Galane, right?

Maybe gasoline was also Massad and recruited Epstein. Is that possible? Well, that's what we don't know. But here specifically, it was called the, what is this? How do you pronounce is Jess? Venunu. Mordecai Vanunu. Yeah.

So this was in 1986. Vanunu revealed details of Israel's nuclear program to the Sunday Times. Shortly after Vanunu was lured to Rome by a Mossad operative. He was kidnapped. and secretly taken to Israel. He spent 18 years in prison. Seymour Hirsch, who's a famous investigative journalist in America, claimed in his book, The Samson Option,

that Maxwell tipped off Israeli authorities that the Sunday Times was preparing the Vanu news story. If true, that would mean Maxwell directly assisted Mossad in stopping or mitigating a major nuclear leak. This claim has never been definitely proven, but it remains one of the most widely cited pieces of evidence. And I love Seymour Hirsch,

but he also wrote a book saying that Oswald operated on his own. Yeah, it's just what it is, and we just kind of know now. How do they have different, now they have different camera angles? Yeah, well, JFK. Possily they got one that's worth 900 mill, right?

Oh, that's right. We did it last week. Yeah. Mint Mobile, our man, Ryan Reynolds. Yeah, talk to me about Mint Mobile. Is it mint? Because it's fucking mint. I love Mint Mobile because you're paying way

too much for Verizon Wireless, asshole, AT&T, whatever you got, whatever scumbag fucking shit you got. You need Mint Mobile. The premium wireless you expect, unlimited talk, text, and data. But it's a fraction, a fraction of what others charge. They don't have the brick and mortar. Okay? This is Mint Mobile. Mint Mobile.

Just think of it. It's like Metro PCS for white people. And it's got a seven-day. Money back guarantee and customer satisfaction ratings in the mid-90s, Kyes in the mid-90s. Yeah. Mint makes it easy to try it and see why people don't go back. I'm on Ryan Reynolds and Blake lively side.

Once you go Mint Mobile, once you go Mint Mobile, you don't go back. You don't go back from Mint Mobile as, you know, and there's slogan as the Metro PCS for white people. And that's what it is. It's a good deal, is what you said. It's a good deal, ready to stop paying more than you have. to, new customers can make the switch today. And for a limited time, get unlimited premium wireless for just $15 per month, folks. Switch now at mintmobile.com slash hyenas. That's mintmobile.com

slash hihenas. Up front payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for 12 months, plan required, $15 a month equivalent. Taxes and fees, extra initial plan term, term, only over 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy. Capable device required, availability speed, and coverage varies. Additional terms apply. See mintmobile.com. I want Carvel big. So several journalists have argued that he was an access broker rather than a former spy.

Just like I said, he operated as like a middleman. Maybe that's what Epstein was too, right? It seems like that's definitely part of it. They were not involved with CIA or FBI. Or you could say like, how would the entire? intelligence agencies not be interested in them, you know? It's like there's no way, you know, it's just sort of like they're going to be aware. I mean, Maxwell was an obvious asset to Israel because he was, you know, a big wig in the press and shaped public opinion.

Right. Propaganda is a big part. You want to, you want the stories about Israel to be nice and shiny. Right. So it's like it's just, that's how the world operates. Right. The power game. It's just all a power game.

Yeah. Power game, and we're a couple of power bottoms. We're a couple of power bottoms. And I mean, what Epstein was doing, you know, even if he wasn't doing all the sex trafficking and minor stuff, he would still be somebody based on who he seemed to know and talk to. That would be interesting to governments, intelligence agency. Well, now his brother, the guy that we met, and now his brother I saw is in the newspaper because all the building, his brother owns all the buildings. and now they're finding out on the Epson emails that one of these buildings on, like, 66th Street

was where they would keep all the models. Yeah, his brother's the one that owns the building. Yeah, it was like some apartment building where he led all this. He had like nine apartments in one building. Yeah, yeah. And the brother, yeah. Mark Epsi, is that him? Doesn't look like him.

That's not the guy. That's not him. Put, yeah, put the son him. There, go to the right a little bit just with the clicker. Right. That's him. Yeah. You know, with the glasses.

That's him. We met him. Wild boy. And he was going to come to the comedy seller. Yeah, he actually was a pretty nice guy. He seems like a nice guy. Charming guy. Funny though, he too has like a working class, Brooklyn Jewish accent. So Jeffrey Epstein did too, right? Yeah.

He never heard his accent. I mean, his dad, Jeffrey Epstein's dad worked for the Parks Department. He was just like a fucking guy. Right. I mean, he was just a kid from Brooklyn, right? He was just a kid from Brooklyn who dropped out of college. Then all of a sudden was recommended to, uh, Bill Barr's father, who was the headmaster at Dalton, to be a teacher there.

And then he was a teacher there for two years of math and physics. He'd never had a job before. It was his first job. He just boom. But he obviously must have known math and physics. It sounds like you're creating a life for someone. You're starting off someone to have legitimacy. Right.

You know, that's what it seems like. Oh, so, oh, that's interesting. Yeah, you usually can't get a job without a master's. So you think, oh, so it didn't start, it started when he was like in his 20s. They started grooming him and then getting him up there. Otherwise, it just doesn't make sense. It just, you know, what Lex Wagner did for him doesn't make sense unless you're creating someone. You're creating an ass.

It just doesn't make sense. But here's the thing. Bill Barr's American. Lex Wagner's American. Right. So maybe he's a CIA, I said. It's just as possible or probable. I mean, of course, he's friends that he was had buddy, buddy with what, Echak Baruch, whatever his name is, the former

Prime Minister of Israel. Oh, yeah. They got them on tape. He's constantly hanging out with him. But, you know, these governments, you know, especially if they're allies, they all work together. Right. They all work together.

And then do you think it was by chance Jeffrey and Gasoline Maxwell met? Or you think that was all coordinated too? Well, by that time, her life was in shambles when she met Epstein. Right. Like she had no money. Her brothers were at trial. Her dad was dead already. Her brother was owed $400 million.

It was on him because they worked. Dad's dead. The brothers get off. Because the defense goes, oh, they were victims of the dad. And so, you know, they get off. But she's in New York and she's just got nothing. She's nobody anymore.

She's also disgraced. Like, her family name is shit now. Right. It's like gross. Like everyone's whispering. Her father, yeah. And she meets Jeffrey Epstein. And they have a romantic relationship.

And then the next thing you know, she's like, it's the main episode so I can't say it that way, but she's handling his properties. She puts her in charge of all the, but she's just running his shed. Yeah, I mean, look, Maxwell, the fact that they haven't killed her is just makes me feel like does she even really know anything?

Why did she plead the fifth on everything in Congress? It still just doesn't make sense because wouldn't you think that in order for her to get out of prison, she would just tell everything she knows and cut a deal? They don't want her to talk. Like, you know, I don't know. I don't know. Those are very good questions.

I don't know. But these emails that are coming out are interesting. Who knows? But it's interesting because Jeffrey Epstein is kind of like her dad, like suspected of being a spy. So it's very Freudian, isn't it? Right, right. It's almost like Freudian.

Right, that's what she... Just shows we always go after someone who reminds us of our mothers or fathers. Mothers or fathers. I mean, and then she's involved in another, like the family's involved in like another massive scandal. Yeah, I mean, they're just scandalous people there. What we call pushy people. It's interesting to think what made Robert Maxwell what he is. Right.

You know, war, poverty, you know, he probably. You got to be driven by something. He was driven probably to never feel helpless and poor again. Right. So that's when you can't shut it off. You know, like how you were saying those guys would tease you and make you go outside in the football helmet and then you used it as motivation.

Yeah. But then you switched it off when you... This guy probably just couldn't switch that off. Yeah, and he just kept going and then needed a new one. So it was never happy this guy. No, of course not. Yeah. You can't be happy that way.

Right. Yeah. Right. You're just in a constant state of revenge. Yeah. And you can see, you know, because that's how he was. He was like that with his... enemies in business.

He was just always obsessed and trying to get revenge. Right. You know? So. All right. A little like Trumpy. Trumpies like that a little bit. Yeah.

Trumpy's a little like that. I mean, listen. Seeks revenge. It seeks revenge. At all costs. Yeah. I mean, fucking Robert Maxwell, interesting,

interesting kid. I mean, Free Galane, no? Free her nattie titties. She has natty folks. She's got nice titties. And Jeffrey Epstein was fucking ripped and kind of cute.

He was kind of cute. He was kind of cute as the thing. And we just be honest, are there anybody who thinks Jeffrey Epstein's a zaddy? He's a little bit of... What girl out there says Epstein's a zaddy? Not a bad looking guy. Jeffrey Epstein's kind of a cute guy, let's be honest. He's got good hair, good bone structure, and he's kind of jacked.

Let's be honest with ourselves. Jeffrey Epstein's kind of a haughty with a body. I mean, the kid without his shirt on, he definitely took care of himself. Yeah, I mean, let's be on. I mean, look at that one in the fucking tiny winters. You don't think I've absolutely hit the ham candle for that a couple of times? I mean, the kid is just got a good, jacked, nice bod. Yeah.

So it's what it is. Gross man. I mean, this guy's a member of parliament who's Winnie the Poohing it. Yeah, that's just got his shirt and his turtle cock in it. He's just his tidy white. He's and the kid just, he had to resign. Because he denied it all and said that he never went to the island. And then somebody posted that.

Posted that. And then we just had the, the, uh, That's not good, right? The head of Chase Bank just had to resign too. Really? Former Obama White House counsel. What the hell? Well, she was corresponding with Jeffrey after he was a sex offender.

And they were like, you know, he got people to really be loose. Right. Like, people would talk very loose. I mean, Deepak joke and we joked about that. People were very, this chick was looser. She called him Uncle Jeffrey. Like, they just, how do they put their guards down? Because the kid was just full of charisma.

Like his brother. We met his brother's brother. Yeah, I think the kid was just full of charisma. I mean, there was a reason I think he was probably propped up and groomed to be who he was. Right. Because none of this is his. Right. That's the thing that's interesting.

And it's so funny that it's taken so long to be like, should we talk to Lex Weggsner? Yeah, because it's like he wasn't rich. He was just giving things. He was giving everything. So it's like, why are we not asking Les Wex? What's his name, Les Wexner? Lex Westner. Why are we not going, hey, dude, what's up?

Right. Because he had none of this was his. He didn't have any business. He had one client. Right. He had one client, Lex Wagner, and it wasn't even a client. Lex Weggner just gave him power of attorney, gave him all these houses and just, that was it. So all those things that Jeffrey Epstein owned, it's actually Wexer bought them all.

It was fucking Wexer just giving them money and saying, manage my money, do this, do whatever. You know, people say he had, he was, you know, good at math and he was doing all these business for business for people, but like there's no record of it. Right. So maybe he was doing it off the book. Maybe he was good at math, but maybe he was doing illegal shit. I don't know, but as far as we know, as far as we know, he bought Lex, Les Wexner's house, which is the biggest townhouse in New York City for $1. It's what it is.

From Les Wexner. So it's just a, it's a story that's full of like weird shit. My question is because I don't really remember, I'd like to go back in time. Like when he got arrested right before he died, like whatever is 2018, 2019. Was he like a known guy? Was he already like famous in the news because of his crimes? Or people have just like, like, why did they make this story such a big news story when he got arrested? Well, here's the thing that's even crazier.

So he got arrested in 2008 in Florida. But it wasn't like a big public thing. It was. It was a big public thing. It just wasn't the day of the internet. So how many people cared about the news? Right. How many people cared?

Back then, nobody was arguing about politics. People didn't know anything. But that's my question even right there. Like him not being a famous guy or whatever, like, why would the news care about a pedophile who at that point wasn't famous at all? Or was he famous back then? He was known as like a big time. Like an elite, elite billionaire. Socialite, New York socialite.

Yeah, he was a known guy. Okay. So in 2008, he gets convicted of this stuff. Right. Right. And Alex Acosta, is that his name, Alex Acosta? His last name's Acosta. Okay.

is the prosecutor on there. And he gets this crazy, crazy sweetheart deal where he pleads guilty to one thing or whatever. He gets like 13 months. But he's, the 13 months, he's allowed to leave the jail and go to work. Yeah. So it's like he sleeps at the prison and then he spends all day wherever he claims he works. Yeah, yeah. So, I mean, it's crazy.

Right. He's, this is a child trafficker. Right. Right. And they just say you could go to work. And then here's the crazy shit. part of his deal is he or any of his co-conspirators can never be federally prosecuted. What the fuck is that?

That's wild. How wild is that? So all you have to do is just like, I think this happened at a time before the internet where people did, the elites didn't see this coming. Right. They could just kind of be bold about this shit. Right. Because they were like, nobody's listening. Only people who are reading about this or people who probably know Jeffrey Epstein.

Right. So who gives a shit. Right. So, yeah, he pleads guilty to this. And exchange for pleading guilty to this, they give him complete immunity and all his co-conspirators. Yeah. All his co-conspirities, complete immunity from federal prosecution in the future. But then why?

But then how did they arrest him again? Because they got him on another law. They were like, it got so, there was so much outrage about it. There was so much talking about it because people were to see, see, because we were talking before. How come no models ever say this or that, Jesse? Remember we were saying, but I think they did back then. They were all getting together saying we were raped, we were this, we were that. But maybe they're just not on the internet now, but they said it back then.

Yeah. I don't know, maybe. Yeah, 2019 is when they, oh, it was because that chick came forward and it was the Me Too movement. It was a bunch of stuff. That's why it got big, big thing. It was that Guthrie chick came forward and she started doing a civil suit and the Me Too movement. And there was the pressure. and they were just like,

all right, maybe we should, maybe we should let him be the fall guy and then we'll end it there. And then they'll stop. It's always been, and then they'll stop asking, right? They just keep hoping people are going to move on. Right.

But the problem is people are just not moving on. Not this one, they're not going to move on. People don't seem to be moving on. But how funny is that deal? It's a very funny deal. So even there, you're going like, I mean,

he's got to be somebody important to other powerful people in order for him to get that sweetheart deal. I mean, because I just hope I get that deal. That's a good fucking deal. It's a nice fucking deal. You know what else I got a deal? Carvel.

Yeah. Yeah, because I want to read these Patreon names. We've got the newest members of the matriarchy that came through. And I want to read out some of these names. As always, you get whoever we think the funniest name is wins the PPW, the pseudo-opinence of the week. And I'm too high to remember the website other than patreon.com says history. Hey, he is. Let's do it.

Hit by a frisbee space laser. Now I look like a Leroy. Okay. I'm not gay, but I love to cuddle. Barak's Bussie and drowned in a puddle. That's the message from the chef from beyond the grave. That's a big time direction. That's very funny.

Swim. Then we got Urban Man knocks a shouty up and splits, a.k.a. womb of the unknown Leroy. You got that? Womb of the unknown, like Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Okay. That's whatever. Christian Nickerson, Jeremy, Chanel, Mike,

Frisbee Showers, established 1940, sponsored by Jouglou. Yeah. No more of the. This is stupid. DJ Spinelli. Still a virgin. Call it the father Bill loophole.

Maddie Davis, Tramp, Matthew Maroofy. Glue gun is stuck. Call me Army Jammer. Oh, instead of Army Hammer. Good try. I'll chicken finger that one. All right. Trent.

Travis Miller. Gay Venezuelan singer. Call me Elton Juan. Matt, Matt, Drexler. Wee. spermine. Drexler.

Chrissy's guy and his ex-girlfriend was actually a guy on his knees. Drexler. Dregsler. Megan Hexeropath. Mexican Ozempi, call me GLP Juan. Gop Juan. Gop one. Gop one.

Is that GLP one? Yeah. Very fun. Drexler. It's a little Drexler heavy. Janus is one big sneeze away from being a Cyclops. Which El Salvador prison did you all send Venetian? too.

Chrissy D's realtor. Maria Smigles. My character piece was a piece of your character. William Lang, Brandon Link, Anthony, David, got Bobby Lee's vision so Putin can do no wrong. Okay.

It's pretty decent. Yeah. Pretty decent. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to directs for that. Had to break up with my GF when she said my meat candle tastes like her father bills.

Wayshon shit. Not again. Okay. Renee Good, Driver's. Try it. It's worth a shot. Okay. James Ash. I mean, that is so walked into one.

Yeah, I know. I know. Move to Westchester to leave the Leroy's, but now I'm in the middle of an ultimate Frisbee tournament. List? I'm going to list it. All right, all right. It's a walked into one, kind of, but it's more list. This is how, we've never went this far without.

This is the first one that I got out of time? Yeah. Yeah. Chris Chris Pace, which hazel shit tickets, Professor Mike. Hold on, let me just want more page. I'll give a chicken finger to the witch which hazel shit tickets.

Very funny. I like that. Off the beam and flicking the bean. Erica Fogelman, Foreskin balloon gives me a few inches. Cole, Justin Polshano, Teresa. Call me Carly son, the way I tucked it. Okay.

Nathaniel Reed, Yummy Puddles, Dylan, yogurt, Slinger. 69. Make no mistake, I'd call through glass to hear Mariana, Atensio, fart, through her radio. It's what it is. Put him on the list. Put him on the list. Sorry, I don't want to disparage of a friend, but it's too funny. Yeah, it's just, yeah, it's hilarious. It's too funny.

Yeah. Tiger Maximavis, Rub a dub, dub, my microchub. Put him on the list. Okay, there go. Yeah, put him on the list. Yeah. Rub and dubbed up my microchub. Sat on Pinocchio's face and forced him to tell me he loves me.

Drexler. Funny. Yeah, very funny. Any other day. My fume forest keeps me warm for the winter. Okay? Fume forest is very funny way to refer to your pubes. Yeah.

I'm going to drill Drex to that. Fume forest. Nimal Asiah, walking down Fifth Avenue and Frisbees keep asking me if I'm circumcised so I can come party. Montenegro, not a cowboy. Black Spick. Oh. Oh my God. Yeah, these are just.

Yeah, but I need a good. Not a cowboy. These are slurs. Well, the slurs. Black stick with a small dick. Call it my Leroy Wood Jr. And that's it. Not that bad.

WX. Ian Griffith. Kenneth Waddle, Mama Taylor, William North, Jungle fever, straight to the black. Psychosis is red on Twitch,

TikTok, YouTube screwed in. There you go. There you go. If I'm in Minnesota Manatee who wants a do-over, the Squeaks Midget basketball team. Hugh G. Rection.

Oh, Hugh G. Rection. Just here for the jokes. Leroy's Learning Center. Lost my mind and my far in peace. What's hatching under them? Frisbee's cuz. List it. Yeah.

It's just funny. It's just straight funny. All right. Yeah. Joe Rogan smokes in the Buddha position. Hooked on Ebonics. Dan Soda. hair tits,

Ashkenyatziani, glugung gelly, glue gun gellie, chicken finger. Yeah. Yeah. Brett Eggleston at the driving range in Auschwitz,

call that frisbee golf. Okay. No more of these. Yeah, let's do one more page. Let's, we're going to get some bangers. List is a little light. Anisha Kula Vila,

Bronson Titus. Grandpa used frisbees as clay pigeons. I'm Austrian. Es Liste Schweist. Yeah. Okay. Ryan L. Chris named his dog after his favorite dictator,

a.k. Josephine Stalin. Chrissy ate my chicken finger. It's what it is. Connor Gordon. Chrissy and Janus are a couple of... You ran into that one, Chris. Oh. You got it?

What? Oh, yeah. What did he say? And then parentheses, you ran into that one, Chris. Oh, because he knew. He knew. He knew. He got you.

Yeah. Deep. Deep Slake. Stuck a traffic honed up my ass to see how it felt. It's nothing to write home about. Please call me an ambulance. Put him on the list. Put him on the list.

Put him on the list. It's just an interesting thing. Yeah. Put it. It's very, it's very inventive. And the kid, you know, the kid tried something. Yeah. Which I like that. He's not afraid to experiment.

Yeah. It's good. He's tried new things. Not blocked off by his anxiety. No. Pat Pat's backs. Chrissy throw on the Giants helmet and heels and let me tickle the suit. pseudo tit

to you scream to you scream Albanian in front of Marisa I don't know That's so weird Because we were talking about that It happens every episode

Crazy That's so weird It's prophetic Yeah Never met a Frisbee That I liked It's not right Well you never met Jesse

He's amazing History Hyenas Question mark Third Door on the Reich Um Hey Dean I

know you're listening. Sorry, I banged your girlfriend. I didn't know how else to tell you. Contender. Absolutely contender. That is probably the truth. Yeah, it's probably the truth. Either way, it's very inventive. Yeah. We got ourselves a contend. And it's all one word. Yeah. Lively Duterman, Mike Ropen anis, um, conquefador. We've had that. I'm in off the freehole Cuban monkey big. Nurse Kenny R.N. R. Rectum. Killed him. Roman Federenko, Dan Sutherland, Tyler,

Badro Fortunato, Ross Flinklstein, uh, Bert Chrysler, 300, Griffin Heltz, head straight to the back. Oh,

come on. Jesus Christ. They are inventive, though. Jamie McRannolds. Yeah. Jamie McRannolds. Even Chrissy's new house

has a leaky roof. Lightning. Yeah. It's a funny one. Lightning. I'm going to address to that one. Lightning McQueen. Somali, Simon Bolivar, SLO-K-S,

off the rails, but on the beam, Lassie Pierce, David Horell, A, 50 cents, sloppy seconds. Call me Joe Coy. Oh, because of, they both banged Chelsea Handler. What? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. All right, well, hold on.

Well, that's the list. I'm going to give that one a chicken finger. All right, give it a chicken figure. Okay, so here we go. Yeah. So it's not, they're not knockouts, but we do have some. You be surprised. Yeah.

You'd be surprised. Okay. So here, so we'll take it. So here is the list so far. Make no mistake, I'd call through glass. Make no mistake I'd crawl through glass to hear Marina at Tenacio fart through a radio. It's what it is. Keep it around?

Look, it's funny enough to win. Right. But it's your friend. It's a friend. So just know you're funny enough to win. That should be good enough for you. Think about you crawling through glass just to listen to her fart through a radio. It's very funny.

I mean, it's as funny as it gets. Yeah. That's as funny as it gets. Rub a dub-dub, mind microchub. We're going to chicken figure that. It could have won. Yeah. It's got some better ones.

What's hatching under them, Frisbee's because? Just a funny one. We're going to Drexler. Yeah. But it is a funny one. It's a funny one. Yeah. Okay.

Move to Westchester to leave the Leroy's, but now I'm in the middle of an ultimate Frisbee tournament. Very funny. We're going to Drexler. Drexler that. Any of these could have won. Okay. All right.

So then we got, I think, the two contenders, stuck a traffic cone up my ass to see how it felt. We do it right. It's nothing to write home about. Please call me an ambulance, cuss. And then, hey, Dean, I know you're listening. Sorry, I banged your girlfriend. I didn't know how else to tell you.

I'm going with that guy because it's so original. Yeah. I've never heard anything like it. It's got layers to it. Yeah, yeah. We don't know whether it's true. Yeah. If it's not true, it's funny.

If it's true, it's funny. Yeah. It's just either way. It's just the winner. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you'll go to history hyenas is back.com.

Congratulations. You are the PPW. Hey, Dean, I know you're listening. Sorry, I pinged your girlfriend. I didn't know how else to tell you. You are the pseudophanes of the week. Tell your friends. Go to history.

Go to, I mean, go to patreon.com slash history hyenas. I don't really know what else to say. That's it. Unless Dean, I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.