History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - Simon Bolivar & Wok n Rollin In Venezuela | History Hyenas

Episode Date: January 8, 2026

The boys are back with a banger. In this first episode of 2026, Chris and Yanni take a look at Simon Bolivar, Arguably the most influential figure in the history of South America . They also discuss the current state of Venezuela in the aftermath of the arrest and capture of Nicolas Maduro with Peabody award winning journalist and Venezualan native Marian Atencio. Support our sponsors: Grab Huel today in your local Target, or get my exclusive offer of 15% OFF online with my code HYENA20 at https://huel.com/HYENA20. Thank you to Huel for partnering and supporting our show! Go to https://buyraycon.com/HYENASOPEN to get 20% off everything. Thanks to Raycon for sponsoring! Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code HYENAS. https://bluechew.com #comedy #Podcast #History Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas/ Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit.ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0 Hyenas Merch!!! https://store.historyhyenaspod.com Follow us Cuz! 🙆🏻‍♂️ Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ 🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ 🐕More Hyenas Website: www.historyhyenasisback.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/historyhyenas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HistoryHyenas Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/historyhyenaspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Babes, we got a great episode. The first one of 2026, we're going to be talking about Simone Bolivar. What's going on with Nicholas Maduro and one of Janus' old co-host calls in. Yes, Mariana Tencio, the esteemed Venezuelan journalist who used to be my co-host that Fusion calls in and gives us the scoop, the real scoop on what's going on with Maduro and how actual Venezuelans feel about it. You can catch me on the road this weekend in Calgary, Alberta. Whoa.

And then you can catch me in Royal Oak, Michigan, which is a little, it's a safer part of Detroit. It's what it is, and you can see me this Saturday. I am in Charlestown, West Virginia. I am at a casino in Charlestown, West Virginia, where I have sold so few tickets. I have to give money back to the vents. Enjoy the episode. That's just a true story. Patreon.com slash history hyenas.

A lot of A lot of dubbeds. white, brown, and blackweds. It's what it is, and that's how we're starting the episode. Welcome to the first episode of the new year. We're just talking about how there aren't a lot of dumb Asian people. There's a lot of very smart Asian people, and I'll tell you where most of them are in the New York City area.

They are at the Steakhouse Peter Lugers in Brooklyn. The most amount, it felt like Little Shanghai. I almost left calling it Peter Ruggers. Yeah. They're there. They're in casinos. They're everywhere in San Francisco. Francisco, it looks like China invaded 10 years ago. It's what it is. Welcome to 2026, New Year,

New Me, the Year of the Dragon. This is the Year of the Dragon. And make no mistake, we're changing the concept of the show. Now, rather than coming in with prepared history bits, we're just going to ask Grock and react to what Grock tells us, and we're going to learn along with you. And that is the new show and suck my ass if you don't like it. Because, I mean, yeah, I mean, we didn't officially change it to that. We were going to try it, but let's officially change it. We just officially made a statement, okay? Yeah, we basically said, hey, listen, we're tired of doing research because we never really get it right anyway. So why don't we just learn it with you at the same time? Because we are as dumb as the audience. So might as well just become the audience.

And that's what it is. And I also saw on one of those like revolving AI websites, whatever, that I was talking about like the doom and gloom of AI that in the top 10 jobs that will be probably not needed within the next decade, one of them like number eight was historian. Historians, they're just saying, are not needed because, I mean, all the history is just in the chat GPT's brain. I could just talk to it. Like today, I was talking to it about Simone Bolivar. Right, right. Yeah, we just don't need historians anymore at all.

Yeah. We need are people who know how to juice up history a little bit. Just what it is. We need people who know to fictionalize it. We know the facts. It's what it is. We know what Hitler did. Yeah.

We need a nice, closeted gay kid like Nick Fuentes to tell us that the kid had aura. Yeah. That the kid was cool. Yeah. We want an angle we didn't think of. We want an angle that the 100,000 historians that studied original sources didn't come up with. And that's that the kid had aura. Let me tell you something, too.

We're just back in our studio. And we just saw our good friend who owns a Chris Italia, who told me before the holidays that he was going to focus on losing weight. And I just saw him. And he did not take that advice. I mean, that kid is falling ball. it was a new year's resolution that turned into a new year's and not happening yeah which is a lot of what happens with new year's resolution it's just what it is i made a new year's resolution that i was going to get down to um my range acute which is between 195 and 204 10 pans 9 pounds past cute is where you were ending off last year and then i ended up going to 15 pounds past cute which was when i was in the 220s i got food poisoning this weekend and in San Francisco that shot me right back down to 2.14. So I don't know what you guys had on Kalshi, but food poisoning probably wasn't in

your thinking and in your guessing, in your hypothesis for your gamble on what Yanni would look like. But the kids back to 2.14. So I am solidly obese, but not dangerously obese. Now, here's the thing is I was talking to while you were there in San Francisco. Shout out to all the history. I mean, his fans that went out to see Yanni and Sam Fran. Now, I was talking to you during this time,

and what I was actually, because you were telling me how you felt lightheaded and you don't know if you can get through it, and you power through it, which I, as I told you, I mean, I look up to that. I couldn't believe that you could do that. I wouldn't have been able to do that. But it would have been fun. I was really hoping for you to go do the shows and then get lightheaded and nearly pass out on stage because then that would mean in your 20-year career

you might be the first comedian ever to be carted out of his own show twice on a stretcher. Because you were carted out of the comedy connection in Providence, Rhode Island in 2019, on a stretcher. I got a call from your wife. Is there anything funny to get encarted out on a stretcher from a comedy club, but there's nothing physically wrong with you? Yeah. Yeah, I think from now on, my comedy shows should just have an EMT on site, just like at a marathon. Just okay. I'll never forget.

I was at my own gig. Okay? I was at my own gig. I believe I was in Baltimore. And I look at my phone and I have three missed calls from your wife. and then I go to call her back, she doesn't pick up, and then I check my notifications. I was on Twitter at the time,

and about seven people said, yo, Yani just went down, and they were tagging me. And I said, what happened? I thought maybe he got shot. I had no idea. And then Brittany was like, hey, Janis just passed out on stage.

Do you know, like, if he took any medicine or anything like that? I said, the kid's wild is all I know. I actually didn't go down. I know, I've never gone down. I never fathed. So you never knock me down, Ray? you'd never knock you down. Could you imagine paying, you know, you got your girl there, your wife, you got a couple of drinks, you're there to see, Yanni, you're excited, and then within 90 seconds

the kids passing your table on a stretcher. I got carted out on a stretcher. It's a 10 out of 10. Yeah, at a soldout show at the Comedy Connection where as I was leaving, a Greek guy handed me an icon, and they stood up and clapped like I was a football player getting let off the field. It was not one of my finer moments. Yeah, I mean, when you strapped in, like around the ship. I was strapped it? Yeah, it's a 10. That's when we, you know, we talked about that on Hyena's the first, right? Right. Yeah. But we've got new members here. And like we've, Marcus really said you never stepped in the same river twice. Yeah. And so that's where we came up with, um, now we can listen to the story without bubbling anger at each other.

Yeah. That's where we came up with Nets. No Nets and Nats. Right. Yes. We're holding and then we decided to do a series called No Nets. Johnny Nets. Yeah. Did one with Shengos before where he was huge, which we're going to re-release to use his name in the album. Why don't we take that down and re-release it as if it's new? What's great about Shane, is he such like a comedy guy and a comedian through and through is that he would, even with all success,

he would come back and do the show. He will do that. And he'll say the same things. He doesn't care. Which I love. Yeah, but we could always just re-release. I think we had him on like three times before he was famous. Yeah.

I mean, dude, I did an episode with him. He was just sitting in my hotel room. Yeah. We could re-release to one with Nate, which was one of the worst episodes we ever had. just me and him fighting. Yeah. I don't even think I was there.

No, you weren't there. No, it was just me and him having weird energy. Yeah. So, but we, I love Nate and it's fine. So, so, so, um, that's how I started my new year. That's how you started your new year with, but, but here's the thing is, is what give it, what, you know, what giveth also taketh away because what do you mean what, Jesus Christ giveeth it?

Jesus giveth all day. Yeah. So I think that I, because you did say to me that, and it's an interesting thing, you said that you weren't sure if it was food poisoning or just the fact. you landed in San Francisco and it's just a high amount of Chinese people. Wei Song Xien. Yeah. Here's the thing.

I was in San Fran and I was like, you know what? I'm going to power through it. There's a lot of power bottoms in the city. If they can take a big cock, I can take a little food. It's what it is. They got things going into their ass. I had things coming out of my ass. Which one of us was in worth shape really?

Yeah. So I just powered through it like I was a little hairless Thai boy in the Castro. It's what it is. Took it. You took it because you got a little thing. who likes to call yellow fever. Wei Song Xien. Just kidding.

Nick didn't laugh at that. There are loads of Chinese people there, and there are loads of people there that look like they want to have a conversation with you about some of the things that you might have tweeted. They just want to talk to you about your tweets. They walk around like they have concerns about some of your opinion. Yeah, it's just what it is. I texted Yanni.

I said, you've got to be happy to come at home. Big, big, big. You said, because I had a stomach bug big and had to muscle through shows. It was like the Jordan flu game, but meant absolutely nothing and nobody cared. Garbage on side of the stage and diarrhea all day in hotel room during the rain. I said, yeah. I said, worst thing's got to be anxiety going through the roof to get through shows. And you said, being good at this just doesn't matter anymore.

The audience had a great time, but the hyena fans all wearing merch, love them, but everybody just wants to be talked to. I said, yeah, the whole art form has become crowdwork. What can you do? and then we said oh and then you actually are the sideline reporter NFL sideline reporter Laura Rutledge was on the flight

This is for the Patriot Right But I'm just saying She was just saying she was on the flight She was on the flight And that's all we talked about That's all we talked about That's what we talked about

And then you said Yeah You go into the Patreon too early Let me just say this And then let me just say this And then Jesse just put this Because that little bit was fun fun fun on Patreon.com slash history hyenas.

We will read it. We will read it. So I'm going to read it now and just edit this and put this at patreon.com slash history hyenas, but it's just one. Yeah, that's getting clipped out. Yeah, it's clipped out. If you heard that that was on the main and we clipped it out, we moved it. We did a little thing called the Maduro. We took it from its home and we put it out of the Apache helicopter and we moved it safely to the United States of America, which is patreon.com slash history hyena. Yeah, you said, you said, and this will also be a Patreon.

You said, yeah, it's just one here. No, but there was, yeah, the kid that opened for me was his kid, Paul, very cool kid. He's a six-seven kid, used to hoop from Sacramento, very funny. Right. And Chelsea featured as well, and she was extremely, extremely funny. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so. So it was a good time.

The shows were great. History Hyena fans were great. One of the history hyena fans gave Chelsea the opener $5 for some reason, and he gave her presents for me some. Yeah, don't eat any of them. Just know if we really appreciate the presence, but if you bake anything or make anything from your house, we just legally can't eat it. I just can't take the chance.

There was about 10 to 15 people at the show in merch shirts. Yes. Thank you for buying the merch. Thank you for buying the merch. I mean, I don't even know. Do we get the money from that? I don't even know how that works. The merch, I don't know where it is or how to access it.

I just know that the guy who runs there. I just know that the guy who runs a merch company keeps wanting to have calls, and I don't want to call with anyone. I just don't want to deal with it. The merch is just not fucking worth it. But it's there for you if you're a fan. We don't really make that much money off of it. But it doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. Get the merch. Yeah. You know, it's at patreon.com. It's at our website. It's at history hyenasis back.com. Yeah. History hyenas.

Or history hyenas pod.com. It's what it is. Now, just quickly, just to catch up because we haven't been, you know, we haven't seen anybody. We took a week off. We took a week off. So I'll be back. I do want to check in on. Jesse and Nick's New Year's.

Jesse, how was New Year's for you? What's going on in the Jewish community? Half Jewish, half. Wait, can I guess your New Year's first? Yeah, go ahead, go ahead. Okay, woke up at about 9-17 and 30 seconds. Yep. Brush your teeth, went to the refrigerator, got a bunch of the regular-ordered smoothie material,

which is an apple. I love apples and love eating an apple cause. Apple, tangerine, a couple of bananas Yeah Some weight protein Like weight protein It's good

Yeah Put a little Put a little creatine Little creatine A little zinc in there A little zinc Mix it up Had a little smoothie

Right Not into the Noted to the common law Yeah Said how you doing Got on the bike Put the helmet on Went to the studio

Sat there ate a tangerine He loved a tangerine He loves tangerine Loves tangerine The kids is like Tangerine bleep that out how many tangerines do you have in your house right now jesse i'm actually off tangerines i'm big on apples

wow kiss back and he likes to call him nice crisp apple he goes you want a nice crisp apple nice honey crisp apple yeah he eats a little fruit he stares at his paintings a little bit right he's got a podcast on in the background not a care in the world not an anxiety in the world wait and have inspiration then he'll dittle a little bit now tell me tell me how that's not a wealthy rich lie tell me how that's not better life than 99.9% of the human population. That is a better life. Tell me he's not living a better life than Jeff Bezos right now. The only person living a better life than him

on New Year's Day, who what I'm basically saying is Jesse stuck to his routine and he will no matter what. Which is longevity. That equals longevity. The only person who had a better New Year's Day than Jesse is our friend Nick. Nick the Stick. Yes. Nick the Stick because

Nick the Stick woke up. He woke up at about 3.45 PM. Not from partying the night before. just from staying up and watching wrestling in Japan. Yeah. Where the time difference is different. Now, Nick, I want to hear about Nick's New Year's and how... He doesn't remember it was stoned. It was stone, but I also

I want to hear about everything besides the fact, besides how many protests you want to to protest the arrest of Nicolas Maduro. I don't care about that. I haven't done fucking anything. I haven't left the house. This is the first time I've left the house since New Year's. Are you serious? Yeah. Why? Why did you get that latter 14? That's smooth. Oh, I got it from from Steve. Oh, yeah. Steve Chaconi, Receroni.

Fuck yeah That's a nice Great hat Have those? We'll take a picture of him With Emboldas Are those on the Are those on the

Oh you can get a lot Of 14 hat too guys Yeah Yeah So what So are you being actually serious right now You have not

Today's January 6 Big day Have you Have you not Have you Have you not Have you not Left the house

Since January 1st For real Five days No I haven't I've gone to Key food And that's it I have nowhere else to go

And today is Also the Three Kings Day Oh that's right Special day for all of us That's right Yeah. It's the Three Kings Day meet. It's the Spanish, but it's like the Puerto Rican Christmas.

Yeah. I mean, it's what it is, right? Hush, but let's be honest. January 6th is really your Christmas. That's my Christmas. Yeah, that's like Christmas. You want to tell the people what you do on January 6th. What Chris likes to do is he likes to get it Nancy Pelosi Penaena.

Yeah. And he likes to put it up in the room. And then the relatives come over and you and the kids like to zip tie all the relatives. Yeah. It's a recreation of a very holy night. Yeah. What we do is on January 6th, now is we watch a show called The Saints, where they do all these autobiographies of the Saints,

and that's on Fox Nation, Fox News. So we sit around, we watch that. And then also, this is also the year I've been engaged now for one year because I got engaged last year on January 6th, if you recall. I don't recall, but that makes sense because it is a holy day. Yeah, and this is what we call a Puerto Rican marriage where you just stay engaged and never get married. That's right. But today's going to be a day where we talk all things Latin American, all things Nick the Stick. This is a big episode for Nick the Stick and his constituents, his conicuance, is because is we are Nick is Nick is Nick is Nick is Nick is Nick is Nick is. So, so Nick and his knickers are they're going to like this one because we're going to talk about all about Simone Bolivar, which not to be confused with Samoan. Simone Biles, who I'll crack open.

She will get cracked open. The only problem with Simone Biles is she's so little. She's a squeak. She's like 4-6, 4-7. Yeah. So you really got to hold her up and put her on it. Yeah, but I'd still like to. Now, here's the interesting thing about Simone Boulevard.

First of all, I was confusing him my whole life with Sergio's boy, Che Guevara. I always would get them confused. But, you know, Simone Boulevard was born in 1793. He's a colonial kid. Did you know that? Yeah. And he's also what they call a Creole kid, which is another way to say he was a white kid. Yeah.

He was just a white Spanish kid, but much like the Montreal Quebecers, the mainland peninsula, what peninsulars or whatever they called them, were the real Spanish, looked at them like they were trash. Just the same way the French look at the Quebecans. Yeah, like the trash. Now, Simone Bolivar, which I called El Liberator. Ela Libertador, the Liberator, right, Nick? So he, what's interesting about him is the kid, he had a big idea because he wanted to make all the Latin American countries, you know, Colombia, Venezuela. He was born in Caracas, Venezuela in 1793.

He wanted to make all these countries, Ecuador, Peru, all, he wanted to make them like the United States, the La Estados Unitos, but they couldn't get it together and they couldn't become a country, just like we almost didn't become a country, a unified country. we there was a chance that the United States could have just been a bunch of different countries on the same landmass like South America is yeah you know it's a lot simpler for George Washington to do it first of all because

everyone was Protestant yeah there wasn't that many cultures or languages everyone spoke English besides Native Americans yeah and they yeah and they were leaving he was like the Spanish George Washington he was to a lot of the Jorge Washington

yeah he was and the North America you see him in Hamilton yeah the North Americans had much, much lower population, and also they didn't have the Andes Mountains to kind of separate all these people. Because you know what I like in Andy's Mint? Ooh. You ever have one of those? No. Chocolate Andy's mint?

No. I like Henry Griffith. Yeah. Yeah. I like Andy Garcia. Andy Garcia. And the show Landman. Yeah, he's a good guy.

Yeah. Yeah. He was terrible, though, and the Godfather 14 or whatever. It was. It just didn't work. It was one too many. So now, you know, because here's the thing about Spain. Yeah.

There's a lot of people forget that. Stop calling me, because for this episode, call me Primo. Primo. So Primo, do you know, like, Spain, a lot of people don't remember that Spain was very, very bad, too. They were the original whites, like, bad whites. Yeah. Okay, so, like, when you say white people are bad, do you mean the Spaniards? Because they were the ones, first of all, everybody that speak Spanish in Colombia, in Peru, in Bolivia, in Ecuador, Venezuela.

Why do you think they speak Spanish? Because the Spanish Empire raped it into them. Yes, right. If it was France, it would be French. If it was England, it would have been English. So don't get mad at me, Primo. Right, Primo? The Spaniards are the one who did that to you, Papi.

Not me. Yeah, they all. Puerto Ricans, they were all indigenous types of native people that have their own languages and cultures and this and that, but somehow it's white people's fault. Yeah, just if you're going to be hateful, be specific, okay? It was the Spanish that did that to you. The mainland Spanish, Primo.

Trans-American slave trade Spanish, Portugal. Yeah. No, Blanco. You did nothing to the South Americans. You did it to the Jews. Yes. If you're going to be mad at me. If your last name is Finkelstein, I'll support it.

Right. I get that gripe. But other than that, no. I love Spanish people so much, I've made more of them. Yeah. That's the thing. It always gets confused. Hispanic, Spanish, what is it?

And you know, it's been interesting. The Spanish people from Europe, they've done a nifty little thing when they're in America. They've gone, oh, I'm Spanish. And people just go, oh, that must mean you're Hispanic. that must mean you're a protected food. They do a nice little thing that the Muslims like to do. I'm a protected group now. It's go, whoa, you're Spanish.

Yeah. You're not Puerto Rican. Yeah. You're from Spain. Yeah, you're like a conquistador. You have a lot of money. You're like a white person with an accent. Yeah, but Americans are so stupid.

They just go, he speaks Spanish. He must be a protected group. It's like, no. No. That's European Spanish. Yeah. That's the bad Spanish. Yeah.

There's bad Spanish. Europeans are the bad Spanish. The bad bunny. is not one of the bad Spanish. He's not one of the bad Spanish. Raffinadal is one of the bad Spanish. Yeah. Carmen Lynch is one of the bad Spanish.

Bad Spanish. Javier Bardem, bad Spanish. Bad Spanish. Ontario Bondettis, good Spanish. Good Spanish. Is he? Yeah. I thought he's from bad Spanish.

Oh, maybe he's bad Spanish. Oh, who's the other one? Penelope Cruz. Bad Spanish? Bad Spanish. No, bad Spanish. But Niso Del Toro, good Spanish. Puerto Rican is good Spanish.

Good Spanish. Spain is bad Spanish. Yes. Isn't Argentina bad Spanish? Bad Spanish. Bad Spanish. These are the colonial Spanish powers. So, you know, Venezuela, Colombia, Ecuador, Peru, Bolivia, I'd be mad at them.

Yes. Be mad at them. If you're from Venezuela, Colombia, Ecuador, Peru, or Bolivia, you cannot be bad. Yes. You are only good because of the colonial period. And we judge all of history and the rankings on the moral purity test based on whether you are a victim or a perpetrator of the colonial error. That's just how fucking history works.

There was no history before colonialism. It just wasn't. And then here's the thing, Jesse, I'm sending this to you right now because a lot of people have been hitting me up asking if this is me. And I'm, I just want to clearly say that it is not. And I'm going to show you that this is not me right after this break from freaking whoever. Because you know about Hewel, H-U-E-L? Oh, do I've been taking it.

Yeah. And let me tell you something. You can get it in your local target. All right. If you're focusing on protein right now, which I am, because I felt like I got fat, fat, so high protein intake is going to help me lose that weight. Fuel gets all your protein in a delicious shake. That's why I started using the high protein starter kit from Yule.

It's five black edition ready to drinks plus the black edition chocolate powder. And it's honestly the first thing that made it easy for me to stay consistent because you know me when I'm talking about anything. I like the black edition, including guys. That's what it is. And did you know, Chrissy? Did I hear this right that Huell just launched in Target Nationwide? Yeah, and I already said that, your sundown. So what you need is a little Hule fuel fuel.

See, the thing is I didn't take my hule this morning. That's what it is. Yeah. So on days that I'm running out the door heading to the gym, I just grab a black edition ready to drink. It's a complete meal, 35 grams of protein, 27 essential vitamins and minerals, no artificial sweeteners, and it actually does taste really good. Now, the only thing, the only danger here is when. When you grab the Black Edition ready to drink that has 35 grams of protein, 27 essential vitamins and minerals, no artificial sweeteners.

But when you grab that Black Edition, you have to really, really focus. Do not put it in your ass. Because I know you're going to see Black Edition and say, this goes in my ass. It goes in your mouth. We always have to tell our fans that. Yes, because the fans just sometimes don't know. They just get their orifices confused a lot. Especially if they're in a hurry.

Yeah. They say, oh, it's Black Edition. I know where this goes. So, if you want to try. Try it. Grab a bottle at Target or get the full high protein starter kit online with our code Hyena 20 for 20% off at Huel.com slash hyena 20. Thank you to Huel for partnering and supporting the history hyenas. Because you know me and my favorite singer of all time is Ray J and he's got the earbuds, the Raycon earbuds and I love them and I like to stick them in my ears

and watch some of the work he's done with Kim Kardashian. That's a great way to actually What I do. Yeah. I listen to his music and I watch his videos. That's a great way to use them. I wish I had mine with me right now. Yeah. But they're always with me when I go on the road.

They're so good. You know, regular ear buds block everything out. You can't hear someone calling your name, a car honking anything. They're actually dangerous. Yeah. So these Raycon ones sit just outside your ear canal. So you get a really clear sound, but you can actually hear if someone yells Ali Akbar. That's what it is.

Yeah. And that awareness is perfect for tackling your. fitness resolution safely or anybody yelling al-a-Wakbar, you might have tackle them. Exactly. So Rehan has over 3 billion customers and the sound quality is just as good as the way more expensive brands. That's the thing. It's a really high quality product, but it doesn't break the bank is what I'm trying to say. They're half the price because you're not paying for the same type of celebrity endorsements all over the place and all that retail markup stuff. Yeah, and they got 36 hours of battery life, eight hours of playtime and 36 hours of battery with the charging case.

you charge it maybe once a week that's it and I'm telling you I use those things a lot and I use it for a lot of different purposes and I only got to charge it once a week because yeah and you can connect to multiple devices switch seamlessly without hassle it's really great so just go listen to the essential open earbuds are now here to help you crush your new year's goals go to buy raycon.com slash hyenas open to get 20% off of everything. Khan for sponsoring the history hyenas we love you ray j because while he finds it let me just say nicholas maduro had a rough night of sleep yeah that's rough right yes all you're doing is you sleep in here we go that does look like you that does and it's just and this is this was in san francisco while i was in san francisco yeah and we just have no volume in the studio we're going to get it just get the volume going we're going because this is what people are This is what we call a bit of a mental illness. I mean, this guy...

Hands off, Venezuela. Hands off, Venezuela. Yeah. That was just me in my yard. He's reading it straight from Google Translate. It's the funniest thing ever. He's a white guy. I mean, so people are to have just lost it. brains, right? It's leaked out. We got a new series. We're starting on patreon.com slash

history hyenas, our community. It's for our community. It's going to be called Leaky, where we'll be picking someone whose roof is fully blown off and talking about them. Yeah, I mean, that, you know, it's people from history, so we'll make it fun. But it is just interesting to see all these, like, white people protesting about this Maduro stuff when 80% of the Venezuelan people are happy about this. Yes. Right? And also, Kamala Harris and Joe Biden had also a $25 million bounty on his head so what's the deal baby

we've lost Yanni No because right now Now you might have another family member in crisis No because right now my old co-host from Fusion Mariana Attencio who is from Venezuela is text me So I said can I call you now and talk about Maduro Because that would be fun

She's Venezuelan But is she going to get upset if we're in the pod? I'm saying we are on the podcast right now. What is she talking to you about? Can you talk? She's an actual like a Peabody Award winning journalist. Right. She's fucking peace. We're just

going to take a little call and maybe we'll plug this in. You never know. Okay. So we're back. Yeah. We're going to find out from actually someone who knows. Hey. Mariana Attencio, how are you? My love? I haven't spoken to you so much. Yanni, I miss you so much.

Thank you so much for having me on. Such a fan of what you guys are doing. And the second I saw your clip, I'm like, I have to tell him how great this is. My amor, my core son. Vivida. Vivida. We, I miss you, but we're sitting here. We're talking about Nicholas Maduro.

And we wanted to know from somebody who's actually an esteemed journalist, a Peabody Award-winning journalist, an actual Venezuelan. And I'm going to try to pronounce this right. What is the actual situation with Nicolas Maduro? Listen, he didn't get the memo. He didn't think that Trump was actually going to do it. And today we found out actually from Trump that it was his little dancing, mocking Trump's dance that finally threw Trump over the edge and was like, this is so disrespectful. I'm going to pull the trigger on this operation. So I actually think that he didn't think that Trump was going to do it.

It really caught him by surprise. They got, Jonas, they got them out of bed in the middle of the night. he 24 hours before was doing the little dance gave this podcast interview which is like a sort of like a ridiculous carpal karaoke type interview that he does saying that his bunker was infallible and that the Americans were not going to come and now look at what happened so I think he's really screwed he's looking at life the rest of his life in jail because he's over 50 years old and these charges are going to amount to at least 30 years of not more. And this is just also, by the way, the tip of the iceberg. I've been covering this regime for the last 15 years. This is just what we know. I think that what we're going to uncover that these people have done are just truly atrocities in terms of human rights and corruption and drug trafficking. Right. You are Venezuelan. What is sort of the overall sentiment amongst Venezuelans? I mean, the majority of Venezuelans are they upset about this? Are they

happy about this? I know Miami's lit right now. No, every single Venezuelan, Janis, truly, or the vast majority, are ecstatic. We've been trying to get rid of this guy for years. We even try to do it the Democratic way. He lost the elections last year. He just

wouldn't give up power. And we're related that he's out of Venezuela. We are just really concerned about the fact that the machine is still there. And if you look at Maduro's behavior, I mean, this guy was a buffoon. He, you know, it's like you left the circus without the cloud, but the circus is still down there. And, you know, they just

issued a bunch of decrees, because I have, as you know, my family, a bunch of my friends down there, cousins, uncles, they just issued a decree saying that they're going to start kind of cleaning house and figuring out who helped the Americans, that anyone, they're doing kind of like these, they have like people with long guns and masks doing random traffic stops, anyone that is caught with stuff on their phone talking about what happened praising Trump could go to jail so I think we're going to see a wave of repression and that's why you've seen Miami lit like cities across the world Madrid except but nobody in Venezuela can go to the streets and celebrate it's a lot of just kind of fear and silence because the worst people are the ones that are left now and now they

know what the United States is capable of doing so I think I think a wave of repression and fear is going to follow. And I really do hope that eventually Trump gets fed up with the VP he left in office and sort of the other three power brokers and gets them out. Because that's really the only way that we're going to transition to a full democracy. I want the Nobel Peace Prize winner to assume her role as the rightful leader that we chose. But I also understand Trump that it would have been a bit reckless to just yank out, you know, a whole system that has been in place for 25 years with the Cubans, as you know, heavily involved in security and oil and all that and just putting this woman in place when she doesn't control the military or the money.

Yeah. Now, what do you think? What's your opinion on how the American media has been covering this? Have they been covering it with a full understanding of the situation, the nuance, the opinion of the majority of the Venezuelan people in mind? One of the things that I have to call them out for that really frustrate to me is the Venezuelan is that they show they're like, well, not everybody, because, and mostly because this is obviously a partisan issue as with everything in this country, right? They're like, not every Venezuelan is happy. Look at these protesters against what they did to Maduro, and then there's not a single Venezuelan in those protests. Right. Are they actually, like, interviewing Rio Venezuelans about this?

So I think the lack of Venezuelan voices is something I want to call the media. out on, portraying, like, protesters in favor of Maduro where there isn't a single Venezuelan is not really reflective of how we feel as a community. And then other things, like continuing to call Maduro president, he's not the president. He lost in last year's election. The United States said he lost. They didn't recognize him. So I look like the New York Times keeps saying president and first lady, and that's not accurate, unfortunately. Right. He was kind of voted out. And not kind of. He was voted out.

No, no, he was voted out. So you can say, tyrant, autocrat, de facto leader, but stop granting him the title president because, and if you look at what happened in court yesterday, that was the first thing that he said, Maduro. He's just like, I'm still the president of the country. Dude, you never were the president of the country. You lost in the landslide.

You're a dictator. Right, right. One more question. And that question is how? And then I think my co-host, Chris DeStefano, has a question, but I want to ask, what do you think China, Iran, Russia, Cuba, how will they respond and how true is it that they were sort of cozying up to Maduro and helping him? And was it true that they were investing all this money in Venezuela and in return

getting cheap gas? 100%. Yeah. And we weren't even getting gas. In an oil rich nation, Venezuelans had to lineup for gas because we were giving all of our cheap gas to Cuba, Russia, China, Iran. So that's why I actually am so glad you brought this up. I posted a sub-stack article about this, like about the oil people. Like when Trump says, like, we're going to take your oil, I would gladly welcome American companies coming in and rebuilding an industry and having that bring us back into the fold of like Western nations instead of giving our oil to Cuba, China and Iran to further

repression and internally and keeping these regimes ideologically aligned with Lodoro. Right. Absolutely. And last question. Do you think that Venezuelan women are the hottest Latin America women in South America because I believe that that may be true? You better you better believe that.

I will not hear otherwise from you because you have firsthand evidence. I do. I sat right there with you for a full year. Miami, and I saw it right there. You are one of the most beautiful, one of the most well-informed, one of the most respected journalists on this planet, and it's good to hear from you. And thank you so much for enlightening us with a perspective and an informed perspective from a Venezuelan.

Thank you, Yannis. Thank you for your questions, and I want to thank your audience for listening in and caring. Truly, I feel that because we've been dealing with this for 25 years again, and now the world is finally also paying attention. And I really want to thank people for even caring and wanting to get better informed. Hi, Mariana. This is Chris DeStefano Yannis's co-host. I envy you, Chris. Oh, I really do. Well, I appreciate that. And I just want to say thank you so much for bringing your unbelievable knowledge and education to this podcast, your articulation on this topic.

You're so smart and so beautiful, and I would ruin my life to have an empanado with you in downtown Caracas. That is a promise that in a free Caracas, we're going to do it. We may even host a podcast episode down there. Who knows? Yes, we may. And I'm just praying to the gods of the United States, of Venezuela, of anything that my wife doesn't hear this podcast because I'm actively in love with you. I got to go. go to all our fans go follow mariana attencio on instagram go check out her substack and you can see all her videos on her instagram from her media appearances and her coverage on venezuela and whatever she covers in the future yeah and if and if you see any direct messages from at christie comedy asking to see your feet just know i was hacked it wasn't me

Mariana. Bye, Mariana. She is a piece. I mean, we are the same age. I mean, she is a fucking... She's a piece. She's also very smart. She went to Columbia. She's a Peabody Award-winning journalist. She's a real journal.

Where does she live, Miami? She lives in Miami, and she's... I think she's single. I know she's divorced. I think she has a... No, she's not. She has a spouse now. Well, I'm getting married. Yeah, so it is what it is. But...

But I was just having a little fun. God, God, please don't hear that. My family doesn't hear that. Okay. Peace. So, let's see. Venezuela, what I would like to do is, listen, is there a compromise? Yeah.

Which I understand, like, fine, we give Maduro back. That's what people want. But then all Venezuelan women come here. That's a good. Can we do that? Trade. Maduro goes back, but then it's a country of Maduro and only men. And then every Venezuelan woman.

Yeah. That's kind of like the new ICE is that we get them to the border. And then we just have a little bit of a, we just judge, you know, like, not a judge, but we just kind of look at them and we kind of can admit you entry or you go back. Yeah. I mean, what about that? Like, you know, like somebody, like she's coming. Yes. You could come. Yes, you're in.

Yes, yes. Here's the thing is nine million of them already left. Yeah. And what we want to do is we want to make it good so the guys go it's good to go back. And the ladies want to go stay. Yeah. Yeah, it'd be nice

to just have all the yeah, Venezuelan women. Yeah. Now, Nick, what, Nick, you're not Venezuelan, I know that. So, but what is your position on Nicholas Maduro being taken out of power? Because it seems like the Latin American community has different opinions on this. But there were a lot of TikTok videos and a lot of Instagram videos, which I watched over the weekend that were very funny with Venezuelans with Spanish accents just talking about people, white people. they go white people stay out of you don't understand you don't stay you're not from my country you don't understand get out of my get out don't keep your mouth closed

how many of those videos did you guys say you saw those dick yeah yeah so what's your opinion on nicholas maduro because right now let's be honest president trump has nicholas maduro on toast yeah it's just if you like maduro's how about trying them on toast oh yeah you know what leave us alone okay you got our guy so now leave us the Fuck alone. No, you're always going to get different opinions from, you know, because you can't lump us all together. We're all different people. We're all going to have different opinions. Personally, this is all I know. History has just shown we invade other countries. We fuck with them. That's all we do. And then we create more refugees. And everyone's going to be like, oh, now the Venezuelans are coming here. They're coming to my town.

They're not coming to fucking Farmingdale. You know where they're going to go? Where? My neighborhood, Roosevelt Avenue. And I can't fucking stand it. Because we don't have any fucking room. Wow. The room. But what you will get is a nice increase in prostitution. It's already happening. You guys should come. Wow. You guys have no idea.

That's why Nick hasn't left the house because the people just came to visit him. Yeah, Nick wants Venezuela's out of his fucking neighborhood. Wow. Nick just got very Italian. He said, don't come to my fucking neighborhood. Yeah, I mean, you know. They're in Miami, cuz. Bubbles. Nick does have a point that we kind of just destabilized yet another region and then we're going to get mad when the immigrants want to come here.

And it's like, we're the ones who destabilized it. Yeah, I mean, there's a good argument to be made that it never really works out exactly the way we want it. Yeah. But there are a lot of Venezuelans who are happy about it. Supposedly, they voted him out. So what is the deal? He is not, because they say that he actually didn't win the 2024 election, and that's why the United States government is able to take him because there is a law, an international

law, like you can't take a head of state. Well, he was indicted in New York as a drug trafficker. So he was actually wanted by the United States legal system, him and a few other of them. so I guess Intel and evidence showed that he was allowing drug trafficking routes through Venezuela to get drugs into the country and so Trump just took that and ran with it the other countries the other administration before were saying the same thing Biden actually put a bounty on his head for what 15 mil 25 mil something like that but Trump just went in and took them and obviously the larger picture is about how much he's been cozying up to China, Iran. And so Trump's saying we're

not doing that anymore. This is our hemisphere. Right. So he's saying, get out of my neighbor. Trump is basically saying what Nick said about Queens. Yeah. He's saying, get out of my neighborhood to Iranians, Russians, and Chinese. Now, how is it going to end? What is going to happen with Maduro? I mean, you can't kill him. That's not going to happen. Is he going to stay in the federal prison for the rest of life? I think he's playing Patty Cake with Ditty right now, talking about the different type of oils that were confiscated. just what it is. Yeah, I think that's all that happens. What a Celebrity Row prison. You got Maduro's in there. You got Diddy's in there. You got Luigi Mangione's in there.

Yeah. You got a few guys in there. You got Takashi 6-9 is going in? You got Takashi 6-9 in there. And you had Jeffrey Epstein used to be in there. What a nice one. And that prison is in Sunset Park. It's in Sunset Park. And probably the owners of the stand will be in there soon. That's right near Jesse's sculpting studio. Yeah, who knows. Jesse could get killed by accidental helicopter machine gun fire. Because if Venezuela, it retaliates, it could happen. Because if Jesse Ever dies before us, what we'll do is every Monday, we'll just go put a tangerine on his gravestone. We just will.

Yeah. But what this did, I think, also show was like, it was a little show of strength from America going like, hey, we still can operate with precision. Because it was a crazy extraction. extraction. Yeah, they say that I heard some theories online that this is not as crazy as you think, that there was some kind of secret deal made and the guards just let Americans in, but I don't think that's true. I think there probably was some of that. I think there was probably... Well, they killed this whole security team. Yeah, which is crazy. But I think there was also some kind of, he's not a very popular guy in Venezuela. Anyone who supports him has kind of, you know, been brainwashed or lives in

fear or kind of, you know, the majority of people do. don't like him. They voted him out. I think the latest polling, like, 2024, something like that. It's like 80% of Venezuela's didn't like him. Obviously, one of the largest refugee crises because of him. Nine million fled the country because of him. So

MS-13 comes out of Venezuela, right? Yeah. So the diaspora of Venezuelans hate him. Right. And so they all wanted him out. So I'm pretty sure there was some assets on the ground that had some knowledge of it, some intelligence assets that were like Wolf stand down.

I mean, his military definitely stand down. You can't just extract the president, extract the president of a country that easily without military, without some... I mean, he sent like 12 guys over there. Yeah, I mean, it was like 12 dudes went in there. Just took the president. Yeah, I mean, it was basically Joe Rogan's fucking security detail, got in a helicopter

and fucking got this guy. Yeah. Watching an episode of Lioness. And it's the United States, so, you know, you know that half our army was trans. Exactly. You just got taken by some trans kids. A couple of kids rolled up in skirts with fucking semi-automatic weapons and took Maduro and put them on toast. Yeah, that's another funny thing you sent

another funny text too. Wait, I'm going to send this one to you. Yeah, hold on, hold on. Yeah, I mean, we could actually throw that one up because it's very funny. Yeah, very funny. What you just said, wait, hold on, hold on, hold on, I'll send you the text. I got to preface it, hold on. So the extraction was carried out. It was carried out by elite U.S. forces. The Army's

Delta Force and 160th Special Operations Aviation Regiment called the Nightstalkers. You know, what fuck with the night stalkers guys and they had a little assistance from an FBI unit the raid involved more than the 150 aircraft so I think they kind of

they kind of confused them they swarmed with 150 aircraft fighters bombers tilt rotors launching from 20 different damn land sea bases to suppress Venezuelan air defenses and provided cover for the ground team U.S. forces entered Maduro's

heavily fortified compound at 1 a.m. and encountered significant resistance, brief firefight, the team captured Maduras and his wife. Yeah. Two and a half hours. They were in and out.

And I said to Janus, I said, well, this is going to have big implications because now U.S. took Venezuela. China might take Taiwan to strategize, whatever, kind of tip for tat. And Janice said, not if these two ladies got anything to say about it. Yeah. And then he just, yeah. So that's just what it is. At one point, these were people leading our military.

So these two ladies. ladies right here are going to stop all forms of war against the United States and if you want to mess with us, you've got to mess with these two ladies. You've got to admit it's a little bit of a different vibe on the military

scene between the Biden administration and the Trump. It is. Yeah. It's a little bit of a different vibe. Yeah, Pete Hegseth has Catholic crosses and death to all Muslims tattooed in his body and then Biden had these two ladies. It's a little

bit of a different vibe for sure. when it comes to Taiwan it's interesting because I think the fear is like oh they're going to retaliate and take Taiwan but you can I think also make the opposite argument and go like they're looking at Trump going this guy just does not give a fuck and he will resist some of it is some of it whether you hate Trump or like Trump it's irrelevant you got to just admit that some of this has to put fear in other countries leaders this guy just went in and took somebody's president without a doubt I think I think it goes like he's not just you know it's Biden was all talk you can't deny that he just was all talk it was more containment I don't think just by yeah maybe Biden you could say that but I think it was just containment I think it was like it got to the point where I think the like I said again I don't even think the heads of state matter as much as the people who are constantly in government constantly in the yeah yeah going like all right this is what's been happening in South America with China and Iran and Russia

and we're losing we're losing influence down there and it's time to say we've been trying to negotiate we've been trying to contain but the Chinese are rolling forward yeah and so we got no choice

Chinese are walking rolling lot of 14 might be the name of the episode just what it is Chinese are walking rolling yeah and we may need to just go from containment to actual rollback. Yeah.

And what they're doing now is, I mean, Trump, there's no question, all the bullshit you hear online, this is about China, Russia, and Iran. It's what it is. Yes, it's about oil, blah, blah, blah. But it's really about like, they're not going to have it. We're going to have it. Well, we're not going to be able to go in there and get the Iranian leader like we did. No.

No way. That would be like an actual ground scale for real war. That would be a problem. You're not going to get him. Yeah. What we're basically saying is if it's in our hemisphere, it's ours. and we want you out. So China is fucking big in Latin America

and what China has done is given Nicholas Maduro a trillion dollars and in exchange Venezuela has given as a loan and in exchange Maduro is given them oil. So now who's going to get

China still owed oil so who's going to give them the oil? That's yet to be seen but whoever's calling the shots has an American flag been on their jacket now. It's what it is. Yeah. It's what it is. I know a big conglomerant

of U.S. businessmen and women are going down to Venezuela this week because they said there's just like a lot of opportunity down there now. Yeah. And the stocks went up too. Stock market went up. So people in the business are like, good. Yeah. I mean, I'm not, you know, I know it destabilizes people, but it just people's numbers, why not up? I mean, listen, if we end up controlling the oil or whatever, not a bad thing for business. It ain't bad. It ain't bad. It ain't bad. I mean, somebody's got to control it. And here's the thing. People go, oh, the Venezuelan people were, no, they weren't. No, they weren't getting any of it. It was all fucking going out. So basically China and Russia and Iran were going, hey, we're going to invest all this money in your country. We're going to protect you.

We're going to do all this. Just give us that free oil. Yeah. And so he was actually just, he wasn't even paying them back with money. He was paying them back with Venezuelan's oil. Yeah. So it's like, the real world operates like this. Pick your poison. Which evil do you want? You want the Americans or do you want the Russian, Chinese, and Iranians? Yeah. Nicholas Maduro chose them, and we said, no, you choose us. It's just what it is. So we chose us for us.

Yeah, it's for you. It's what it is. And we're just doing this to balance out a little guy named Zohan, Mom, Donnie. We just want to get him happy. It was funny on the group chat. Oh, yeah, well, I'll tell you what my boy said in the group chat right after this. Because here's the thing. Yeah.

You know me. Yeah. And you know what I got everybody for Christmas, right? Yeah, hard dicks. Yeah, I got them hard cocks. Everybody opened up a hard cock, a dick in the box, as Justin Timberlake would say, and I got those hard cocks from Blue Chew. Because I have been having sexual dysfunction in my life. I haven't been able to get it up.

I've just kind of had a sloppy, just kind of half mush dick. But then Blue Chew came into my life. Yeah. And because I am rock hard. I was watching Landman yesterday, and every time fucking Billy Bob Thornton came on, I had a stiffy. The thing about it is it's not only good. right if you have a little ED or whatever or you know you like to have you're more of a people pleaser and you have performance anxiety sure it's also good for married guys who just

need a little help getting up for their nine to five yeah nine to five yeah it's just what it is yeah it's just times having sex with the wife after 11 years is just a nine to five just a nine to five and it's just like a cup of coffee bite of water cooler blue chew it's just there it dissolves under your tongue, works as little as 15 minutes. That means you can get it on quicker and stay in the game longer. Elevation without hesitation. I mean, blue chew, cuss, and it just, it's what it is. I mean, the other day I saw Tank Sinatra and he had a mustache and I just taken a blue chue

and it was kind of like a Hitler stash. And I said, because I'm sorry, don't mind me. I just took a blue chew. Now I'm looking at your Hitler stash and my dick is hailing. We got a special deal for our list. Get 10% off your first month, Blue Chewold with the code hyenas. That's promo code hyenas. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety info.

And we thank Blue Chew for sponsoring us. I'll also want to mention Blue Chewold is the newest innovation from the number one chewable E.D. brand, this ain't your grandpa's little blue pill. This is the four in one beast that's setting the gold standard for performance. We're talking two ingredients for blood flow to keep that rocket cock pumping mixed with apomorphine and oxytocin to turn up the arousal and the connection in your brain and body. So on the group chat the other day, and then we'll get back to Simone Bolivar. It was funny because they were, you know, when he got sworn in, Zoran, Mom Dani got sworn

and I believe on January 1st. It was all this chatter. They were yelling. They were like, I can't believe he's going to get sworn on the Quran. This kid's going to get sworn on the Quran. And then I said, well, Mayor Bloomberg got sworn on a Jewish Bible. And then nobody just said anything. And then they just, the next text was from Poundy Fly Bowles.

he went, wow, giants suck. So it's just what it is. Well, the Jewish Bible is the Old Testament. Yeah. So I think I'd sworn it on a Bible on the Old Testament. On the Old Testament. So I guess kids were just looking for a way to be like this is a travesty, but then you just say, well, other people didn't have done it on the Catholic Bible.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just what it is. It's what it is. Now, Simone Bolivar, what I, what was funny, interesting about him, is the kid, like, like Zoron and like a lot of others, which is very, like Teddy Roosevelt, he grew up very wealthy. So that to me, what is it about wealthy kids? Because you understand why a kid who's brought up in poverty would want to go and unite all its countries and be the leader, the military leader of a country. But when the kids got a lot of money and wealth, why do they want

to do it for? Because they're the only ones that have enough time to sit around and think about injustices. Right. Poor people are just trying to survive. That's a good point. They also have the means to try to make something happen. Now, this kid was unstoppable, dude. Simone, Bill Olivier, I mean, this kid, I mean, they tried to assassinate him a bunch of times. He married some chick who ended up dying a yellow fever at 21. He never remarried. The real yellow fever. Yeah.

And not the Kanye had in San Fred. That's exactly right. Then he had a long-term affair with this chick who was a revolutionary and this bitch was tough as nails. There was actually an assassination team that came into his house to try to kill him. And this bitch fought them off with pistols and she got hit in head with swords. So that's just, now, you're going to want to bang that lady out. that's kind of hot.

She is fucking loyal and hot. Revolutionary Puss. Revolutionary Latinas are fiery. It's just what it is. But this kid was a self-taught general, basically, and he was a military mastermind, and what he did was he liberated all these regions from the Spanish crowd. And guess what?

It ties into Venezuela because he was born to a Creole family in Caracas. So he was Venezuelan. He was Venezuelan, and that's why Simone Bolivar, mostly identified with Venezuela, but also Colombia, big, because he was, he is credited with leading the charge to liberate them in 1819. That's, that's why Colombia is free from Spanish rule because Bolivar did it. And like I said, Bolivar wanted to unite all these countries and make like a Spanish federation, just like the United States. And he actually invited United States delegates at the time. James Monroe was present. And he invited the United States delegation

to the little delegate, to the conference they were having to United States. the Spanish people, and the United States showed up two weeks late. Yeah, well, they just didn't come. Were they black? That's, yeah. Way song she ain't. It's possible. They just showed up a little late, and they said, sorry, we thought we were on black time.

Live 14. Yeah. So his whole, one of his, the most famous things he's known for is the famous 1819 was the year. Crossing of the Andes, which I just said. Yeah. Oh, you just said that? Checked out. Oh, I was checked out, yeah.

Yeah, because you're just thinking about... Wait, did you just say that? I missed it? I just said the crossing of the Andes, which led to the Columbia being free. Yeah, that's right. And I also said that he was born in Venezuela, Caracas, Venezuela, about 25 minutes ago. So I have checked out. Just what is?

The kids just checked out. You're on snoo. I'm waiting to get this call from Mariana. I want to talk to her. Yeah, you're just thinking about her feet. But he wanted to unite Venezuela, all these countries. But the problem was too diverse, too much infighted. and so he thought he goes look

all these Latin countries aren't ready for democracy so he said I want to make myself the dictator a benign dictator until Latin America can mature into democracy he didn't think they were ready he said they needed strong centralized authority but that eventually avoided that eventually caused chaos

it didn't it didn't work the people were just not united it was too many different languages too many different races it's a lot different regions but the United states was able to do it because they were able to do it because they had less people and like they said it was just protestants they also were like landowners and you know sometimes let's be honest you just got to let the white guys figure it out lot of 14 that's probably why the

us work they just said you know what let's just let's let the white guys figure it out for a hundred years way song she ain't then we'll start to give other people rights but just can you just let the white guys figure it out line 14 It's a simple way. I'm being a dick, but you know, sometimes, you know, just let these guys figure it out, hon. And then we'll come in when we're ready. And then everything's nice. Everything's set up nice.

Yeah, just set it up is what you say. You know, set it up. It's like, you know, sometimes the kids are going crazy in the kitchen. And I say, kids, why don't you just go watch TV. Yeah. I'll throw on SpongeBob for you. I'll throw on K-pop and the demon hunters for the 19,000 time. Yeah.

Let me and Ma set up to set it up. Yeah. We'll set up the table. Yeah. Everyone will come when they're ready. This way nobody's pouring their drinks. Nobody's, you know? supposedly Simone Bill Vivier

had he had similar opinions and he was just like all right, yeah, he had a paternalistic opinion. He was saying let the whites let the Spaniards basically. He was saying let the elites. Let the creole figure it out. Let the elites handle it's the word I should be used to the elites. He had

no problem having the mestizos, the natives and the blacks fighting his army unfortunately. But when it came to the planning he was like you guys just can't can't work this out. Guys look listen to me I understand everybody, you know, Gran Colombia, we want to have this one Spanish, you know, United States version of the United States. And it's a beautiful thing.

But for now, I'm just going to ask anybody who's just got a leaf around their dick if they could just wait outside. Weissong chien. Anybody who came in here with a spear and just leave leaves for underwear, I'm just going to have to ask you to just, if you can go back to the head these mountains for a minute. And then we will contact you. We'll send a smoke signal when it's your turn. Way song chien. Is that just kind of? I mean, just a little bit?

A little bit. It's just what they say. It's just a little bit. They said this kid came in here riding a goat. He's just got to go. You know, we can't have anybody with a chieftain hat on right now in war paint. We just need you guys. Just come in here a little bit more civilized.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He had big dreams and he thought it could all work. He advocated for Republican government, the abolition of slavery, equality before the law, all the good stuff that he saw in the French Revolution and the American Revolution, which obviously who was inspired by. and he wanted to build what he called a Grand Columbia, but it just didn't work out. It was a little

too chaotic. Yeah. And he ended up dying with no money. He gave all his money to the car. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he died at 47. Died at 47 of tuberculosis and they think he had a lot of other health problems. But yeah, it's just hard you know, it's just hard in that

region to try to get a United States of the Spanish Americas when, you know, you have guys out there that say the only way that you really come to a decision is somebody has to go to the top of staircase and get their head cut off. You're unshackled that I like it.

Yeah, there's just something. It's just unfortunately, it was already the 1840s, and they said, we can't have guys out there saying, we got away to a full moon and cut somebody's hair off. Unfortunately, that's not how we get to vote this time. It complicates things, yeah. Go back, and we'll send for you.

But they wouldn't do that, and then the whole thing just fell apart, and then the kid died to tuberculosis. Cultural differences. racial differences. So I'm saying. Regional differences seemed to really were a big thorn

in his dream. It's just what it is. It just didn't work out the way that he thought. Yeah. And unfortunately he died kind of politically isolated and it didn't work out

and sort of... Yeah, you can't. Unfortunately, you're not going to get far when you got people asking do mules count as currency. It's not going to work. They're not trying to bar it. It's the 1830s.

They said, guys, we're trying to have a Constitution here. Yeah. We're trying to be like the United States. Right, right. Coming in here, you know, with spears and sandals, it's not going to work. You know what to me? You came in here with 14 ears of corn.

I don't know what to do with that. I don't know what to do with that. And no, I can't count your wildlife. I can't count your livestock as people. Okay, you got a monkey with this face painted the same as you. It's not going to work for us. Okay? You got your kids in a basket on your head.

Unfortunately, we're trying to do real stuff here. We're in uniforms. Right. Right. Right. So. Nick, am I wrong? Yeah.

He has to say you're wrong. Tell me the truth. Yeah. Am I wrong about that? You're right. Thank you. Yeah, I mean, it's just so, that's just how it happened. It didn't go down the same way George Washington went down,

but he is basically the George Washington of South America if George Washington had failed. It's just what it is. And it's just we are not saying we're right or wrong here. I understand that people are going to disagree. We're just reporting the facts as we see them. The way we see the That's the important part It's the way we see

History is interpreted all differently I mean the facts are the same But the interpretation Is what makes a historian Historian, that's what it is It's just what it is So that's what I think happened A little bit

And then, you know But we did get the nation of Bolivia It's named after Bolivar It is and that's nice It's an absolute Banana Republic Yeah And Venezuela is absolutely in trouble

Columbia is not that great Yeah I think Peru does good Now the Peru does pretty good Chile does good, right? They got gas, I think. Yeah. They got copper. Colombia does great.

Is Colombia doing great? No. Do they not do great? Not great. I mean, well, it's great if you want to go down there for a little voucher party to Medellín. Uruguay is doing good. Euroguise doing their 99% energy efficient. Yeah.

They got so much energy, they're sharing with Argentina and Brazil. Yeah. Wow. So those, well, Brazil's doing great. They're part of those, what's that, blocks the new currency. Bricks. Bricks. Sorry.

They're not doing as good as Argentina's rebrand. rebounding kind of nice. Argentina's, who's number one Latin American country economy? I can't. Is it, is it Argentina? No, it's either Chile or Uruguay, which one is doing the best? Maybe Argentina is the biggest. Right.

I mean, Brazil definitely has... So Uruguay is safe to go to... Uruguay is good. First world country, right, Nick? Yeah. Yeah. Biggest economy is Brazil. Well, that's because it's the biggest country.

And they got the biggest butts. Yeah. Do you know that there's... It's like 300 million people or something. Brazil's big. Boy, it's a humongest country. I never been out there. You ever been out there? Huge. No. Long flight. No. Do you ever want to go? No. I don't know. Maybe. I would go with the family. I don't want to go like by myself. Yeah. Mexico's doing good. Yeah. Central America. Central America.

So I would. I just would. I know. I would. I'd bring AIDS back to my family. Yeah. So I think yeah, because because and you know, in a way, keeps going, Jesse. I'm curious. Let's see. How about per capita? Which country is doing the best per capita? Per capita, yeah. Uruguay, I didn't realize they were doing that well. That's good to know.

Yeah. I mean, Guyana is the best. Oh, Guyana, because they got... They're right next to Brazil. Yeah, those are Indians. You know the Guyanese are the ones who rule it are Indian? Dude, I had an ex-girlfriend who was Guyanese. Little Guyana's a big part of Queens.

Yeah, they got... They have some natural resource. What did they find? They border with Venezuela. Yeah, and they got... Do they? Am I wrong about that? Or they border with Brazil.

No, they border with Venezuela. You're right. And there's actually some dispute. There was actually some dispute about the discovered oil off of Guyana that Maduro wanted it. Yeah. So Guyana's got oil. Guyanese girls can be pieces. Yes, yes.

Guyanese. Now, Guyana is a country that Indian, they were the native people and the slave population became a race. Yeah. There was a big, big, big, big Guyanese, like revolt. Guy, I'm telling you, my ex-girlfriend is Guyanese. She's gorgeous. She's Indian. Yeah, and they speak with like an Indian.

Yeah, they speak like a Trinidadatabago, whites by rhomba, roti. Yeah, they take a mixture of booty, booby-booboo and... Roti. Yeah. Booty, booty, booty, booty, buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy, buddh, buddh, but do I know. So, Uruguay, Nick is right. Uruguay stands out as the safest country in Latin America, lowest homicide rate in the reason, strong as, strongest democratic institutions,

low corruption, highest or near highest GDP per capita in Latin America, strong middle class, universal health care, solid education, stable banking system, not prone to extreme booms or busts. The tradeoff, a small market, stable, slower growth, but it's stable. And then, like I said, Chile, economically strong, most developed infrastructure in South America, high GDP, strong institutions, trade integration. They had a little social unrest in 2019 that hurt stability, but other than that, Chile could be number one. Chile, the smartest girl in my physical therapy class was from Chile. Take a look at this, Costa Rica, safest, but much smaller economy.

So Costa Rica is the safest. The boys went down to Costa Rica, and let me tell you, they had a good time. They had a good time down there, huh? Yeah, and I saw some pictures, and it looked like a great time. What did you see? I saw some loopholes. You saw a couple of loops? Yes, I saw some fruit loop.

Hulls. Yeah, now, because, and also, too, on the Patreon, I want to talk a little bit about James Monroe, the Monroe Doctrine, how it ties into Nicholas Maduro. Yeah. So, and we have a lot of fun stuff at the Patreon. A lot of things we had to cut out this episode. And we, me and Yannis read, I read out the text that Yannis and I had this weekend. And those are only at patreon.com slash history aina's for everyone's safety.

So go listen. And, yeah, I mean, the Monroe Doctrine was a thing that was, you know, James Monroe did. and now it seems like we're in the Don Road Doctrine. Yeah, we're in the Donald Trump Doctrine, and it's probably not as good, but it's a lot more fun if you're on our side. It's definitely, the memes are better. Yeah.

Okay, so as always, as we did all of last year, we will continue this year. You join at patreon.com slash history hyenas. You make a funny name. You get it read out at the end of the episode, the winner, the PPW, the pseudopinus of the week. And then at the end of the year, we will pick the grand winner of them all.

in order to win or be involved in any of this. You've got to join patreon.com slash history anus. So, welcome to the matriarchy. Wife puts on the earmuffs and blindfold when she goes down on me. We call it doing the hell and Keller. Put her on the list. Wow.

So we have somebody coming out of the gate for the number. That's a good start to the year. Yeah. It's the very first name off the list. The very first name gets on the list. That's a great omen for our 2020s. Harbinger, not an omen. Colin operated frisbee

Michelle Brito Thomas Adams Latter-day Taint Kaint's a chicken finger There it is Like the Latter-day Saints Yep Preston Karen

Michael Torres Bert Kreischer's liver Looks like a Leroy Okay Way Song Xie A Drexler Drexler Steamy Dreamy

Orangeini It's cute Orncini balls are nice Yeah there's cute It kind of looks like a piece too We need another category called cute Yeah

For the girls That was cute one Jesus and the lady brain boys fix my leaky roof? The lady brain boys. They call us the lady brain boys. That's very funny. Very funny, yeah. The lady brain boys?

I'm going to direct so that. That's it. All right. We're the lady brain boys? Yeah, with the lady brain boys? Have you heard that before? No. They said Jesus and the lady brain boys fix my leaky roof.

I'm putting that on the list. Oh, wow. Calling me and you the lady brain boys instead of the hearty boys is a goody. Funny. Then we got don't tell my dad. Just, yeah Spaghetti blowing gaze Zeus with the moose knuckle

Jared from Subway Not the sandwich shop Just a kid who's always commuting Drexler Drexler That's funny Very funny Marcus Hill

Oh got a black kid Yeah nice welcome Hard Har Cafe Okay that's walked in a one Sorry about that Yep Eastern Hemmy salsa monkey AK walked into Juan

Good one Oh, that's a good one. Yeah. Isn't it wild? How, like, I say walk and roll. Yeah. And then there's walked into one. I didn't see this.

It happens almost every episode. Yeah. Something we said that we think is for the first. It's like the Simpsons, how they predict stuff. Yeah. It means it's in the air. It means you're tuned in. Tuned in.

It means you may be on the beam even though you think you're off. Even though I'm off. And you know what actually was very comforting? Because I was really, I literally cried in my, in the gym yesterday. I literally have like a little space in my house or I have a little gym in there. You know, like weights or whatever. And I was crying, looking to me. mirror and Jasmine came in and was like, what's going on?

Why were you crying in your home gym? Because I really, I put on weight. I felt like I got myself back in shape a few months ago. And I said, I won't let myself slip again. And then I slipped and I said, I can't control it. What's happening to me? Do I need to go on GLPs? I don't know. And I just was like, it was like one of those things like Heather Graham putting the cupcakes in her face and just screaming at the mirror. And she just came down, rub my back. She had brought me some biscuits that so she didn't give those to me. And so she said, Why don't you do this, Chris? Why don't you take some pressure off yourself?

You're doing good. She was like, okay, I still think you look great. Why don't you just, it's January 5th? She's like, why don't you just give yourself to March 15th these next two months to just get back into the place that you were feeling a few months ago? It'll still be winter. You don't have to get in shape right now tomorrow for anything. So why don't you just give yourself some grace? And that really helped me to just say, you know what?

Okay, maybe I've got to slow it down a little bit. I have two questions. Now subconsciously, do you think it's possible that you? you were crying because it was January 5th, which is the almost, it's the eve of the anniversary of January 6th. And January 6 didn't work. Yeah. And so you're sad about that.

Could be that. And then my second question is, if you're sitting in your home gym crying in the mirror. Yeah. At any point, do you think to yourself, this might be a time where I need to go Google where some therapists are? Yeah. I mean, maybe it's time for a roof check. Well, it's January 6, and I've already cried three times this year.

So that's not great. Are we thinking about maybe just a roof? Well, a roof, I think a couple shingles might be loose. Well, also, too, I've realized that every single day since Christmas Eve, I've had at least one sip of alcohol. So that's not great either. And that's also not like me. That's 13, 14 days. I mean, yesterday we went to Peter Lucas and I smashed two German brews.

Well, out of nowhere. By the way, it's not like we're going out to dinner. I mean, I went out to dinner with my family, but it's not like we're celebrating anything. I'm just having brews. Did that ever happen to you? No. Jesse, you drink a cocktail every day, right? I used to.

I actually stopped doing that. I was doing that for a really long time and then... Seven days a week. Yeah, I would have a drink every night when I came home before dinner. Jesse's throwing hands with Sergio now. Yeah, I'm throwing hands. Which is available to all our fans. If you want to get your shape and you live in New York or Westchester, go throw hands with Sergio.

Go throw hands with Sergio. It costs your money, but it's worth it. And I could tell you from experience, us, you know, me, Jesse and Janus knowing Sergio for upwards of 15 years. and us being very, very close friends to him, I can comfortably tell you that he does not give discounts. No, he does not give discounts at all. He also, if you're really serious about it, he will punch you in the face because after you left, we sparred.

I took a jab squarely into the nose to the point where I stopped that I said I'll sue you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I told me. I said I'll sue you. Did I not tell you he was in a bad mood that day? He said, I am a white client and I will sue you. Yeah, because what happened was, is I was sparring with Sergio the session before Janus,

and I warned Giannis, because I was the 3 o'clock session, he was the 4 o'clock session. I said, Sergio's in a bad mood. Be careful. And then he punched you in the face. Because he put, I caught a jab straight to the nose that it made my eyes tear, and I turned around. I wanted to cry. Yeah. I actually wanted to cry.

It's what it is. It hurt. Yeah. Yeah. Because, Sergio, I'm going to sue you, Mr. Wall. I'm going to sue you. Yeah, I hope that your tactics are good because Tulsi Gabbard's a fan of the pod. Yeah.

Okay. So, here we go. All right, so we're back. Isn't it funny, though, that I really do believe she's listening right now. Yeah, and she's a piece, and she followed Chris and me at the same time, and that must mean she's tuning in. So how you doing? You'll get fucking cracked open.

You're hot. Eastern Hemi, Salsa Monkey, A.K. Walked into one. Is that on the list? That's a Drexster. We got Sucking the Feda out of Janus's lamb skewer. Okay. Then we got Roofie Leaky. Wait, how funny is it?

we just had a call, that's media now. I mean, she was just on fucking MSNBC, and then we just went to that fucking patriotic. I guess in the YouTube, and then, yeah, if you just heard that, we're bouncing back and forth there. Jesse's got what we call a job to do.

Take that, plug that, Maduro that into where we were talking about Maduro. Yeah, Jesse's going to need a tangerine to calm the fuck down after this episode. Now we got Mamdani's meat missile. Wait, that's a chicken finger. Then we have Italian in Texas. Call me Hente Vinny.

Okay. Hente Vinnie, I like that. Hentee Vinny. I like that. Chicken finger. Rock hard on her ring camera. Safe word, please text me back. Okay.

Dustin Oaks, Chris Sopriano, David Ramos. Ichbain, Eindjud, and History Hajina's Uba al-Stut from Fioland. You were able to read that flawlessly off instinct. It's just what it is. I think it's just in me, right? It's in there, yeah. Visiting Greece to see the sites in Cynix. Okay.

Lovteen. You know, that's a walk to you know, but that's one that's one that you created yes that's again that's one of the sandcastles you built it's just what it is yeah yeah Shabbat Shalom I'm here for the Frisbee orgy in your home oh hi Jesse Ragsler straight to the back but gay in both holes okay put them on the list there it is put them on the list interesting yeah because some people are gay and only one hole they only do blowies on guys yeah but he does both because are you gay in one hole I'm gay in one hole because I think I'm not doing it in the butt yeah our fans

help us sometimes with some of the jargon. That is now going into the history hyaena's lexicon. Sabrina Dahina, gay in both holes? Gay in both holes means he's a fully charged $3 bill. Yeah. And gay in one hole means he's vicarious. What it is. Found out my wife used to love purple crayons.

It's what it is. I don't know what that means. I don't know what that means. Okay. Sukrit Tripathi, Francisco Gambowa. Brett Buckelater, Joseph Polatowski, A.K. Parogi Monkey. Jocelyn Singh Carpet Rides to the White Boy Frat Party?

Okay. For a friend? I'll laugh into a fart. You farted again. I farted twice. Yeah, we're going to Drek slur, but it was really funny. Should I put that on the list? No, it's a little hard.

It's disparaging a friend. Yeah, yeah. Chrissy Comshot, Matthew Baskol. When Yanni tucks back, his front bum has fumes. Okay. Jay the Wizard. Chrissy Clemidian? Oh, like, comedian.

Good try. Good try. Good try. What the hell did I sign up for? That's an interesting question. That's a good question. Yeah. It's going to be a wild ride, my friend.

Corey Stazen, Paul Maynard Jr., Mexican Jumping Bean, aka Border Bunny. Okay. Okay. Daniel Clark, Akash's wife. Well, Daniel Clark, it might be, I worked with him at Fusion, and he was also on some, he was, that show that, if it's actually Daniel Clark, he was on the show that, that, what's the rapper from Canada? I'm just blanking. Drake? Drake?

The one that Drake was on when he was little? Oh, yeah. He was on that show? He was one of the heart throbs from that show. Look, Daniel Clark. And you could be him because I was friends with him, yeah. Zahadi. Yeah, there he is.

Now he's a news producer, and we worked their fusion together, which is funny because we just had Mariana on. There it is. You see another serendipitous moment. You're in. If it's the real Daniel Clark. And he does he do comedy, too? No, no, that's another day. Okay.

No. Mart Hart, then we got our conscious wife's cheeks get more claps than his stand-ups. It's what it is. We can't do. Then his stand-up, we can't do that. Yeah, sorry, it's a good roast joke, and it's, we're disparaging. It's not a court of law, so we don't, we can't condone, we can't make a judgment on that. Yeah, if it's just, no, I'll tell you this.

I'll do this. If we, if there is something that we get invited to, the roast of hot cushing, we will use that as a joke. We will use it as a joke, because it is a good one. Politicus, then we got Epstein and Maxwell Vacation Rental Service. Then we got Ethan Cock, like Ethan Hawke, Ethan Cock. Like Ethan Hawke, Ethan Cock Ethan Cock, okay Saudis own more comedians than oil

That's true Okay, very true Gumadio Chalmers A.K. Miami feet glue guy Like Mario Chalmers Gumadio Chalmers, that's right. Drexler, big time. A little too inside

because a lot of people don't know who Mario Chalmers is. Gosh, do you want to go to Miami and just do a live show down there? Yeah. Yeah, and just go down there. I want to stay at Mariana's house? Yes!

Cesar Hulhacha. Skyburns, then I'll come and pad see ooh in a different way oh okay Derek Gonzalez Malik Black oh there you go John Chrissy walked into hard pasta monkey cock Alvarez

David Schmidt then we got voted for Mom Donnie because my wife got fat what about the less I mean that's a 10 I mean a lot of fat ladies like mom don't yeah yeah yeah okay so

um East New York Perogi Monkey, watching Planet of the Apes. P.S. I don't have a TV. Okay. Shit. Yeah, I thought it was okay. We don't condone that. Stop it. Stop that. Michael Knapp.

Anne Frank's Checkerboard. Wait, I'm trying to figure that one out. Peckers board. And Frank's checkers board. I don't know. Anyone figure that out? I don't know. My dick don't reach, but she calls it a piece. Something don't add up, cuz? Okay.

A bum using... Kids got small people. piece in his opinion, but she says it's sufficient. So what it is? Yeah. A bum using shrimp as a Bluetooth earpiece. It's at least pretty funny. Yeah, I think you've got to list that. Yeah, I think you've got to list that. Just funny visual. Yeah.

Hale, Gluwia, Catherine Navarro, Fisbee on Staten, Towlin, Manhattan, Wei Zhang Shiite. Wayjong Shiite on its own would have been on the list. Yeah. My AI girlfriend left me for a Leroy. Very funny. Drexler. Blood, Banco, Dracula. Mamdani's personal six-year-old ham candle.

Weissong she ain't do it. Muslim reference, no good. Shannon Fleming. Can't do that for our safety reasons. Little chubby, but Adis Beaver beaver beater. Really like it. Beaver beaters funny. Beaver beaters funny. It's a Drexler. Okay. Brandon Goscawian.

New Jew in your shoe leaving New Jew glue ladder 14. New Jew and your shoe alone would have been good. Yeah. But we're, yeah, almost. Ebenezer spluged in Not So Tiny Tim Dillon. Okay. Bill Morrill. Charlie Curt.

That one got a big laugh at a Nick. I saw his stomach start to jingle. Which one? Bill Morrill? No, the Tim, Tim Dillon. Yeah. Read it one more time. I want to see if he moves again.

Ebenezer splooged in Not So Tiny Tim Dillon. God. Oh, shit. They got me. with a Kirk one. Shit, I didn't want to read that. All right. A smooth masturbator.

The Joe Chode Gang Experience. Omar Valencia. Ugly Waffle. The Leroy got my bike for Christmas. Oh. Okay. Another one walking. Way song she ain.

Black baby, no dad. That's called a Cocoa felon. Way song she ain. Not good. Walked into one. Not great. But hold up a second. Hold up a second.

Just hold on one second. A lot of 14. Okay. That is the best one so far playing on cocoa melon. Yeah, I mean, it's up to you because it's your call, but it's a walked into one. It is definitely a walked into one. What do you do there? That is the funniest one.

Jesse's laughing hard. He's losing it. Nick, not so much. Is that going on list or is that one? Thumbs up. All right. It's on the list. on. I mean, sometimes you just got to supersede the walked-in-one because it's just too good.

It's good, good, yeah. Undisputed bento boxer, uh, Vill Garago. Hitler's undescended right testicle. I like that. Mohamed, my foreskin didn't stand a chance, Rashad. Drexler. Uh, fumel, fumales, daycare, sorry, no vacancy. Uh, AG2, FYY, Y. The boys are back like Oasis. Yeah. Sam Roberts' undescended testicle. There's a lot of undescended testicles. Jackie, Onassis, and tiths got brain on Zucute film.

Mm-hmm. Oz Pearl Necklace. Mm-hmm. Or Os Pearl Necklace. Yeah. Astoria kid. Tuddy's tax attorney. Yanni gains a chromosome when he shaves.

Okay. Says I look retarded with a beard. Yeah. Cuzz is A-O-C, that Latin fume piece in the rep house. Wow. Paris Morales Donny T. Please build the UK A Wall Major Sandstorm.

That's a walk-in-one. I bet you're not whatever. Mo-Moh-Moh-Problems? Lot of 14. What do we do at that? I mean, we just got to let that one go. Just got to let go. Jose Josh Mansavage, Richard Sass.

Make no mistake, weiner dogs are for the table. Evading lunacy. White Walker, close the gate behind me. I like that. Yeah. I like that. I'm going to put that on the list. Okay.

If you don't remember from the First Reich, a white walker is someone who lives on the other side of the wall. Yeah. A Mexican. Yeah. Max Galante. Then we got branded Van Nostrand. Elon Musk is South African.

Hide your frisbees. Jap bean, call him a microwavable burrito. Sean. Oh, that's walked in one guy, Jesse. Yeah, that's definitely from the firehouse. Some of these are coming direct. directly from the firehouse. It's what it is.

Hefty Schlongdinger. Captain now daycare center closed until further notice. And then last but at least, frankly, laser beams are awful at customer service. Lot of 14. Okay. We're going to.

We read enough names, right? You've got enough. Yeah. All right. So here's the list so far. Voted from Mom Donnie because my wife got fat. A bum using shrimp as a Bluetooth earpiece. that was good wife puts on the earmuffs and blindfold it wife puts on the earmuffs and blindfold when she goes down on me we call it doing the helen keller

jesus and the lady brain boys fix my leaky roof straight to the back but gay in both holes it's a good one black baby no dad that's called a cocoa felon and white walker closed the gate behind me okay okay let's start from the top here we're going to start draxlering voted for Mom Donnie because my wife got fat. It's a goodie, but we're going to Drexler it. It is true, though, a lot of, you know. A bum using shrimp as a Bluetooth earpiece. We're going to keep that around. Okay.

Jesus and the Lady Brain Boys fix my leaky roof. We're going to Drexler it, but welcome to the lexicon. We are the lady brain boys. That could be the new name of the pod. Wife puts on the earmuffs and blindfold when she goes down on me. We call it doing the Helen Keller. we're going to Drexler it okay any other day guys straight to the back but gain both holes that's a good one we're going to Drexler it but welcome to the lexicon yeah good um black baby

no dad that's called a cocoa felon unfortunately we got to keep that one around what it is and then white walker closed the gate behind me we're gonna we're gonna we're gonna dress for that hard to do so then it is between a bum using I'm sorry right, it's between a bum using shrimp as a Bluetooth earpiece. Yeah. It is Black Baby, No Dad, that's called a Cocoa Felon. I'm sorry, those are the two. It's between Black Baby, No Dad, that's called a Cocoa Felon, and a bum using shrimp as a Bluetooth earpiece.

You know what? I'm just going for funny here. I'm not going for morality or political correctness. Okay. In my opinion, am I wrong? I'm just going to the producers. It broke, Jesse. Yeah, Nick of the two.

Yeah, that's the one. Cocoa felon, yeah. Guys, we do comedy here. That's all that is. It's just a joke, you know. But congratulations. You are the first winner of 2026, Black Baby, No Dad. That's called a Cocoa Felon.

You are the PPW, see your name up in lights at History Hyenas is Back.com. Go get the merch. Tell your friends. These episodes continues at Patreon.