History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - Surprise The History Hyenas R Back!

Episode Date: November 7, 2024

The boys are back and (kind of) cover the history of October Surprises. As it turns out, today isn’t worse than it used to be—dirty politics has always been around. It’s good to be back! #Comedy #Podcast #History Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit.ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0 Hyenas Merch!!! https://teespring.com/stores/historyhyenas Follow us Cuz! 🙆🏻‍♂️ Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ 🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ 🐕More Hyenas Website: www.historyhyenasareback.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/historyhyenas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HistoryHyenas #Comedy #Podcast #History Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, how you doing? It's been a long time. I just want to say my name is Sean Terry, Lata 14. And I'm Patrick Mulrooney, Lata 14. And we heard that the two gay guys, Chrissy D and Yanni P, they brought back the pod History Hyenas. Yeah, well, it's Chrissy D and the Mexican kid are back. And I just want you to know, we're always out there fighting fire. I also want you to know that our audio podcast is back.

It's called ladder 14 You also be hearing us on patreon.com Slash history hyenas a lot of 14 we are back and it's nice that we finally got some good content cuz you know I can't keep watching kill Tony every week. We can't do it. Although, you know, the kids got some good jokes I really appreciate what he did out there Yeah, you know, he's trying to save this country as what these history hyenas are trying to do. They're trying to save this nation. Yeah. So we're back. Yeah. And we hope you guys enjoy. It's been a little while we missed you guys, but we were out there fighting fire. We're out there fighting fires and we had to do what we had

to do and make no mistake. Um, Eric Adams is innocent. Yeah. When you said make no mistake, you sounded like that Chrissy D kid. Yeah, I did a little bit sound like that Chrissy D kid, and I swear that Yanni P kid lost a lot of weight. I wonder if he's on ozempic or he just has AIDS like his brother. We don't know, it could be, but the one thing that is true is we are back.

Patreon.com slash history hiatus. Yeah, and then YouTube.com slash history hiatus. Now we are back, the history hiatus are back. That's right, those boys history is not, we are back. The history is up back. That's right. Those boys are back. Those boys are back. You know what that means? If they're back, that means we're back. That's true because we do live inside of them. Yeah. Yeah. We do live inside of them at youtube.com slash history. Hi, he is back.

And I heard that they actually already did an episode and it's called October surprise, but it is November. So I don't know. I don't know. Now you want to go get a bacon egg and cheese sandwich? Yeah I do want to get a bacon egg and cheese sandwich. And a coffee? And for anyone, yeah a coffee and you know how I like it Leroy and for anyone who's ever said that that fireman are racist tell me how him and I could be racist when our favorite dessert is black and white cookies. That's right we eat black and whites that has black and white in it which is we're all for. That's right, we eat black and whites that has black and white in it,

which is, we're all for that as long as it's for America. And of course, in conclusion, I hope you did the right thing on this election and you voted for someone we like to call St. Donald Trump. Yeah, yeah, and I hope you didn't vote for someone whose father was probably a fucking meter maid. Surprise and we are back! My name is Yanis Papas and welcome to the History Hyenas.

I'm sitting here with my co-host, Chrissy Two Babies. Yeah, don't push it, don't shit your pants. Give me a sec. Hold on. There it is. Yeah, and we're back. Cause it's four years later, I mean, what happened? Is it three or four years?

I can't remember. I've been in a coma, I don't know what's going on. Cause I mean what happened is it three or four years. I can't remember. I don't know in a coma I don't know what's going on cuz I've had multiple babies. Yeah, I got two babies now Yeah, um you've lost weight put it back on and then lost it again Um you were a chain in guy the last time I saw you now you're a chain out guy, and I wear hats Yeah, so I don't know what's happening cuz that hat is hanging on for dear life Cuz like a like a fat girl with her pump am I a hat guy or not? You're not a hat guy. Okay I know you're a little I know you're a little insecure about the height that you got long hair I got long hair. I'm not sure if you're a long hair. Yeah, yeah, but if I'm not a hecka

But here's the thing if I'm not gonna wear that then I will fuck the United States Now you just look like my dad going to the opera before he passed. I mean, I, cause this kind of hat, this is like what an Eastern Hemi wears who like was born in this country and tries to make believe they're not a commie. That's what a guy who was a veteran

of like World War II wears. Yeah. Because he wants to get noticed in the street, but unfortunately not too many people say, thank you for your service. Cause Mrs. Pappas isn't around. Yeah. Should I, should I wear this hat though for the entirety of the ad? I think you should. Yeah. Why I? Should I wear this hat though for the entirety of the episode?

I think you should. Yeah. Why not? Because here's the thing, you're Chrissy Red, White and Jew. That's what it is. Red, White and Jew is what I am. You're a white guy for Kamala and that's just what's going on. I'm a fucking WGK.

And listen dude, here's the truth is things are a little different now. Mike Mush finally did kill Venadia. That happened. And you know, it's unfortunately, so he's in prison. The documentary will be coming out about him. And the bottom line is this, okay folks, here's the bottom line is Yanis and I are going for Halloween as the Menendez brothers because that's who we are. We blew our podcast's head off and now circumstances have changed and the people are back on our

side so we brought it back. But make no mistake, we will get right out of prison and blow it off again because those people are psychos. I mean talk about a surprise the Menendez brothers who killed their parents everyone was against the Menendez brothers except for the women because women always like cute murderers. Cause can I ask you a question? Yeah. Did the Menendez brothers kill your mom and dad? Cause they've died in the last four years since I've been here. Yeah, I've lost family members, but here's the funny thing.

The Menendez Brothers are now being re-examined. Everyone has sympathy for the Menendez Brothers. And here's the thing. This is why it's going to be an October surprise, which is what the episode is about. It's going to be great. Because the Menendez Brothers are, guess what? Cuban. And how do the Cubans vote?

Communists. Kamala. Oh, Republican. Yeah, they hate Communists. Oh, that's right. Yeah, because they hate Castro. Right. Right. So they're gonna vote Donnie T. They're gonna come out, make a statement in a couple of days, and they're gonna say, we the Bredendez brothers are endorsing Donnie T. the Choo-choo train. Donnie the Choo-choo train, which is somebody, by the way, is Patreon named. Somebody's Patreon name is Donnie the Choo Choo Train at patreon.com slash history hyenas, which at the end of this episode, we will read out. Because there's a lot of Patreon names.

Thank you to the three, maybe 4,000 people that have signed up over the last week. We're going to get to your names on this show at the end of every single episode. If you sign up at patreon.com slash history hyenas, not only will you get the episode that will appearcom slash history hyenas, not only will you get the episode that will appear on YouTube one week earlier, not only will you get a 20 minute audio

of Patreon exclusive content, but you will also get your name read aloud at the end of every episode. And if we encourage you to make a funny name, because at the end of the episode, we will read out all the funniest, we will read out every name, but the funniest names will get put on a list.

And then we will pick one lucky winner and we call that person the pseudo penis of the week, the PPW, shout out hyenas, and that's what we're gonna do, and I nailed that because I am screwed in. You are screwed in. And screwed in, by the way, tell them what screwed in means. For the new people who forgot. Screwed in means you're smart, you're getting that money,

it means you got your frisbee on. It means you got your yarmulke screwed on to the tidy, you got your yarmulke screwed on to the top of your head and you're getting that money. It means you got your frisbee on. It means you got your yarmulke screwed onto the top of your head and you're ready to go. Because we're screweding kids. We got to introduce our new producer. Our new producer, Jesse Scatoro. He's the finger painter. He paints fat people. He's the most famous finger painter right now.

Yes. Amongst Hyena's fans, it's just happened. Yes. He wants no attention and now he's getting it. And now he's getting it. And now he's getting it. And here's the truth is, I've said this, I suggested this in the group chat, and we've all agreed what Jesse really likes to do

is he likes to paint fat people. He sees fat people in the street, and he likes it. And then he goes home, and he silently paints them. So what I want from our fan base here, if you really think you got what it takes to be painted, if you think your body's fat enough, and you got what it takes to be painted by Jesse, I want you to post a picture of yourself or you can nominate someone at patreon.com

slash his Australian is and we will pick one person and Jesse as a Christmas gift. We will mail a picture of your fat body to yourself if that's what you want and you love to be fat and you're Lizzo and you're embracing it. We want that, we want Jesse to paint you if you're fat. Lizzo's lost some weight. Lizzo looks good. Yeah, Lizzo has lost some weight. So yeah, before you go on We Go V, which I love that name, or Ozepic,

just have your health not be great for a little while to get a chance to be painted by the great finger painter Jesse Scatura. Because Trump Iron Man, if he wins, should that be a movie franchise? Trump Iron Man? Have you seen the Trump Iron Man? if he wins, should that be a movie franchise? Trump Iron Man? Have you seen the Trump Iron Man? No, I haven't.

Yeah, well, there's a new NFT, it's Trump Iron Man. And I also want to say, people are going, what happened? Let me tell you, we don't know, because some things we don't know. Like why does a hyena have a pseudo penis and give birth out of a penis that's not functional and most babies die and sometimes the mom dies? And why are the women bigger than the men? I don't understand. It's not relevant as we've told you many many times We have the bodies of men the brains of women so sometimes

Things are just gonna be a little different and you can't pin us down and you're just gonna have to fucking deal with it But make no mistake. I'm still eating black and white We do have women's brain That's why my head is so small because because their brains are smaller, and your brain just moves. So that's why you're constantly getting concussions? Yes. Because your brain is constantly banging up against the skull.

Because the skull's big, but the brain's small. That's a woman's brain. That's what it is. Remember, I have a big head. Yannis has a small head. Between us, we've got one normal-sized head. Normal-sized head. Yannis's eyes are too close together.

Mine are too far apart. We just balance each other, and it's been a few years of imbalance. And now we're back, because here's the truth here's the truth okay be crystal clear with the people being crystal clear with you okay you need to do the right thing tomorrow at those voting polls who you vote for look at my hat

I'll tell you what I'll tell you what I'm not I'll tell you listen. Here's the truth I'm voting. I don't know because you voted for freedom Whoever you think that is that is yeah. Well Kamala says it's freedom versus What did she say division? Yeah, that's her line. So then that means you vote for the laser beam Leroy Yeah, laser beam Leroy cuz she's half black half Indian. It's what it is. That's what a way shock She's supposed to be right there Jesse. You'll is. That's what a Weishak Shi supposed to be right there, Jesse.

You'll learn. That's what a Weishak Shi is. You can put it in a post. Yeah, so laser beam Leroy. And it's great. That's who she is. And again, the fans that know, here's the thing. If you have a new friend that's listening to the podcast,

you're going to have to educate them. You're going to have to tell them what a Leroy is. You're just going to have to look back. Just Google his training as Leroy Coffee. It's a good idea to just go back and listen to all the old episodes to find out when the lingo started because I don't even Remember which episode started I do know that Wei Zhongxian when you hear that it means we're just going wild We're just joking. It's a joke. It's having a good time. It's a character piece That's it, but that's not the one we got to find the exact find the exact way Zhongxian it there's got if

This is what I love about our fan base and what I miss about our fan base is they'll help us Yeah Can you put the original sound file of the way shun she and put that either in the YouTube comments or the patreon.com? History is on the community board if we still have a community board on patreon I think we do that is actually way shung shing, but it's pronounced differently because we that is the unit way junkie But this chick pronounces it differently these Chinese. Yeah, I mean the Chinese can be very tricky They change has into put on both. Yeah. Yeah, so it's what it is. Yeah, cuz now you look at definitely have a Puerto Rican family That wig is not gonna fit. Yeah, it will. Yeah.

Yeah. It will and then hold on. Open it. That's it. That's it. I thought you were gonna carrot top. Yeah. It's what it is.

We're having fun. You're right back where we're hurt. Yeah. Now we're having fun. You do look like special needs Stamos, it's what it is. I know every time I've seen you in the last four years, I said the kid just looks like a downy Stamos. I do, I look like John Stamos if he was blind.

And cuz what's amazing now in these past four years, see sometimes this needs to happen, cuz now you're actually friends with Stamos. I'm friends with Stamos. That's wild. I was just at his house the other day. I mean, how's his house? His house is pretty nice, but it's not crazy I went and I looked downstairs

I didn't see any bar that had adrenochrome on tap. I didn't see it right Tom Hanks hasn't been over So I don't know maybe there's a bookcase where you push a book and it turns around then there's children's baby blood I don't know. I don't know but he's doing something cuz the kid is 60 and he looks 30 he looks good. He's doing something because the kid is 60 and he looks 30. He looks good. He's doing something. He looks good and make no mistake. Freak don't leak. Yeah make no mistake if you're around our age. Cause you're 40 now. I'm 40 years old and make no mistake I flick my beat to Stamos. Yeah Donald Trump Iron Man I I just the first time I'm seeing it but I

gotta be honest with you I like it. That's a lot of 14. That's a lot of 14. That's a character piece. Yeah, that's a character piece. I think I do think this. I mean, this episode is October surprise. So we're going to educate you. I'm going to be honest with you.

This is going to be this is going to be one of those history episodes where it's mostly driven by Giannis historically, because Giannis did send me the information yesterday to look over. And I was at the Yankee game with my dad Yeah, okay with Tampa Tony who is my dad also lost 80 pounds and he says that he did it only He changed his diet to now He only eats half a tuna fish sandwich once a day every day and he's lost 80 pounds That is the back-to-school Tony diet right there. Yeah, because he looks like high school Tony

He looks like he looks great. It looks like high school Tony and shout out to whoever at Yankee Stadium last night yelled that my dad looks Franks and Beans. So thank you whoever did that. It was funny Franks and Beans is another all goodie um and again or brother school you can always say that. Brother school is another one yes you'll here's the thing I don't know if you can explain them all, but you're just gonna have to know. I mean, yeah. You're just gonna have to know, but surprise, October surprise for the podcast world. We are back, we're covering October surprises today.

What is an October surprise, you ask? It's when a girl's got a penis. Yeah, that's what it is. Which, make no mistake, it's happened to me a couple of times in Houston. I blew a guy in Houston. Oh yeah, in Houston. Yeah.

We still don't know what happened in Houston. Yeah,, in Houston. Yeah. We still don't know what happened in Houston. Yeah, to be honest with you, I still don't know, but I'm getting closer in therapy. It's almost out. You have very, you really do have very strong powers of denial and to be able to black things out. What I'm able to do. Father Bill got ya.

Yeah, he got ya. He did, he did. I'm able to block everything out, and I'm able to kind of just go and kind of start anew each day. Like you said, I'm like a dog. Like every moment's a new moment. You're a dog in a dog park,

and the leash has gotten off, and I'm chasing ya. Yeah, it's what it is, it's what it is. And make no mistake, one day for the, what we will do is replace the Tim Dillon episode or we will make a level right under the the famous Tim Dillon episode which you put up there for a million bucks and for 500,000 what we're gonna do is put a level there where me and Yannis read our texts to each other from the last four years. Oh my god, we can't do that!

I say we put that in for 500,000, I'm screwed it! Because we can never ever read the text. Yeah, I mean that's a sick one. Yeah, no. I'm being crazy. Yeah, yeah, this is the thing. Whatever happens, usually you are like a dog. So if you go gay that day, the next day you're just a straight guy.

It doesn't matter. You start the day tabula rosa. You're tabula rosa Chrissy every day. It's what it is. I mean, honestly. You wake up, you go, where am I? What day is it? What's going on?

I mean, I gotta be honest with you You know jazz has asked me many many times in our relationship Chris Just tell me the truth. Are you gay and I have the same response. I don't know Yeah, I don't know the answer is the answer the answer is it I might have been an hour ago But I'm not now, but I could be tomorrow That's how I don't know and I just the truth is is I still stand firm on what I believe I have sex with women. I fall in love with men. That's what it is and that's what defines me,

but have I ever had sex with a man or any physical contact in a gay way with a man? The answer's not yet. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Except maybe Houston, we don't know. Except maybe Houston, we don't know

because the truth is, is it's very difficult for me, Asians, they get, I love Asian. Because with that hair, I wanna kiss know because the truth is, it's very difficult for me, you know, Asians, they get, I love Asian, because with that hair I wanna kiss you on the mouth because you look like a lady right now. Cause I'm a handsome kid, you know? Right now you look completely Frank Sinbeads and it's hilarious, yeah. And this is what it is,

because I think that, I think that the truth is, is much like October Surprise, which we're gonna get to, is that's kind of how I live, is I'll wake up one day and I'll have, I'll just get overcome with emotion and estrogen and all those things and I'll say, you know what? I'll say to myself, I'll wake up and I'll say, you know what, no more of the gay jokes.

Stop doing that, have your comedy go a different way. No more of the gay jokes, stop doing that. Have your comedy go a different way, no more of the gay jokes. And then three hours will go by and it'll just be all gay jokes. But I don't get mad at myself anymore. I forgive myself and I just kind of say to myself, just be spiritual, don't hurt yourself. I've been in therapy with many different therapists

over the last few years. You're even promiscuous with the therapists. I'm promiscuous with the therapists. I mean I get them right in and right out. The two things that I love going is I love going to my therapist's office and the city MD to check the blood pressure. Yeah you still do that. Yeah I do have high cholesterol but the good cholesterol is very high which the doctor said that's a good thing. It's actually even though my cholesterol's went up to 275 that my risk of heart attack and stroke has went down because the good cholesterol is up. You have hy, you know how Charlie Sheen has tiger blood? Yeah.

Maybe you have hyena blood. It's just different, like, people look at it and they go, for a human this isn't good. Right. But for a hyena, maybe that's perfect blood pressure. It could be perfect blood pressure. It would be weird if you lived the life that you live and you had low blood pressure. That wouldn't make sense. Then you'd be like, wait, that doesn't make sense.

You actually need that level of blood pressure to keep up with your level of ADD. It's what it is. And as you said, I am 40 now, so we are in 50 milligrams of low sardine blood pressure medicine. It's just a little pill. Dr. Drew told me it's good for the kidneys. Dr. Drew is the most real doctor. Yes, Dr. Drew is my physician.

He is the most real doctor out there. I only trust doctors who do content. That's it I tell you right now. I only trust historians who do content I only trust I only trust political pundits who are comedians Yeah, and I only trust political candidates who are laser beam Leroy's or are Game show hosts. That's what it is. That's it. That's it I only trust a doctor who when they email me and I asked him where their offices and they write back your mom's house Yeah, I can't talk right now cuz I'm guessing on top secures. Yes

Yeah, yeah, one of the many pots. Yeah, I mean yeah much like Chrissy and Houston one of the first October surprises we can talk about is real is a real fun one. Yeah. Let's go back to the beginning, right? Is that where we're going? Where are we going? I'm saying where the October surprise originated. Oh, you want to tell me? I didn't look at the research because I was at the Yankee game with my dad.

Remember, the October surprise originated, the term originated. They've always been around since the beginning of time. And what is an October surprise? It's some news that breaks right before an election or roast jokes that happened at Madison Square Garden that could sway the election. How funny would it be if Tony Hitchcliffe sways the election? Because if Tony Hitchcliffe is in fact the October surprise, let's get him on the pod. Yeah, let's definitely get him on the pod. Because we do know him. And here's the truth, as a father of Puerto Ricans, as the father

of Puerto Rico. I mean, you're in a Puerto Rican family. It is not an island of garbage. And I think Tony just didn't even really mean to say that. He just didn't word a joke right. Because we all know Puerto Rico is a beautiful place. I mean, I know it's very beautiful. I can't even live.

If I'm too far away from Puerto Ricans and pizza, I can't even breathe. So I love Puerto Rican people. And people were messaging me saying, I need to get the Puerto Rican flags out of my bio because I did kill Tony like three weeks ago. Oh you're getting those. So that's what so the reason why I caught it a little bit in the DMs and on my comments is because I did kill Tony three weeks ago. So his video views

probably the last one. It's one of the last ones so people are like how can you stand for this? I'm like what do you think? I did a guy's show three weeks ago and then he said something two days ago. What are you talking about? I mean, people are really fucking franks. Yeah, people on the internet really, they just try to start things up. Well, they try to start things up and they're just,

what I say now, what I say now is I go back to what Tampa Tony told me, Tony D, special needs Tony, Tony Shortbus. I like to call him high school Tony. High school Tony. It looks like he's going back to school. He does, high school Tony. You know, he told me I'm-

This is a true story. It happened right here in my town. One night, 17 kids woke up, got out of bed, walked into the dark, and they never came back. I'm the director of Barbarian. A lot of people die in a lot of weird ways. You're not going to find it in the news because the police covered everything well up. On August 8th.

This is where the story really starts. Remember there was this example, there was this time where he saw a meter maid giving a ticket to a... Probably the most hated people on the planet. Right, yeah. So this guy, it was in Staten Island, he was, or I think it was Staten Island, or maybe it was Deep Brooklyn, I remember, but he was screaming at this meter maid to give him the ticket and my dad was just like, you know, we got my dad's car and he goes, he was like, you know, we got in my dad's car and he goes, he was like, you know, you see that guy screaming

at the meter made, he was like, it's stupid. He was like, I wanna ask that guy who was screaming, do you wanna change places with the meter made? Is that, do you want that guy's life? Do you think that guy's happy giving everybody tickets? Just give him the ticket. He said, if that was me, we just accept the ticket and we move on, cause you said to yourself,

at least I don't have to be in that guy's shoes Right, right. Right. That's pretty I'm just saying that's how I feel You know about this whole thing that's happened recently is like, you know what at least I'm not Tony right now No, no Well that that or at least I'm not somebody fucking messaging someone to say do you stand with this voice or I'm not that comedian making a video That's not even funny crying about fucking jokes, right? Right, it's what they say at least I'm not that guy right and I'm not that comedian making a video that's not even funny crying about fucking jokes. It's what they say, at least I'm not that guy. And I'm happy I'm not that guy.

But you know what, have you ever got banged out for a ticket? Yeah. It's hard to say at least I'm not the meter maid. It's really easy to say I wanna toss this fucking meter maid onto the hood of my car. It's what it is. Sometimes in New York City they bang you out 150 or whatever. And it's hard to keep the blood pressure down

when that happens. Mm-hmm. It's one of those things where I, to be honest with you, I don't pay the... I never even know when I have parking tickets anymore. I just Google my license plate and New York City fine violation. That's a good way to do it. And I just... And usually I get hit for about 900 a month. Yeah.

So you basically you're... The way you find out about tickets is an October surprise. You go, let's see what's going to happen. You spin the the wheel and go what did I do? What red lights did I run? Let's just say full October surprise. Yeah, it's what it is. Yeah, so the October surprise. Are you wearing socks? There's they're low. Okay, they're low socks want to make sure yeah, so the October surprise Has always been around and what we found is politics has always been dirty has always been around and what we found is politics has always been dirty. Right. It's always been dirty. People think that this is the first time a presidential,

presidential, Yanni Biden, a presidential candidate has been shot. The first time someone's been accusing the system of voter fraud. The first time they used immigrants as the scapegoat to put fear into the white worker. Right. The white worker has always been scared. Before the Mexicans, you had the Chinese. Yes, the Chinese. So the October surprise was actually coined in the 80s,

but it's been around forever, and it started with Reagan and Carter. Jimmy Carter's still alive. Jimmy Carter is still, and he's probably the best guy on the planet. He's a good person. Yeah, Jimmy Carter is still alive. Jimmy Carter is still. And he's probably the best guy on the planet. He's a good person. Yeah, Jimmy Carter is still alive. He's what, 100, 101 years old?

He may be 101. I mean, his head is almost off. Because he's on the runway bad. If he wants to extend his life, he's going to have to change his diet to half a tuna fish sandwich once a day. Because yeah, he's going to have to do that. He is sitting right now in jet blue.

He has a third row. On the runway. On the runway, ready for takeoff. He is sitting right now in jet blue. He has a third row. On the runway. On the runway ready for takeoff. Which is what I believe Jess Skaturo, that's one from him, right? What? On the runway, we talked about it. Was that yours?

But I didn't use to say that. Oh, you said that guy's close. He said he's close. I said the waiting room. He's in the waiting room. He's in the waiting room. That guy's close, yeah. That guy's close, he's close.

Jimmy Carter. Which is, okay, so Jimmy Carter, see this one I know, October surprise, the Iran hostage crisis. That's right, the Iran hostage crisis. Which Iranian women are beautiful, they are gorgeous, gorgeous women. I like them, you know why? Because they look Puerto Rican.

That's what it is they do. The closest maybe to Puerto Rican. Yeah, yeah. They look Puerto Rican and it's just, there's a little bit of kind of just having sex with the enemy and I like it It's just what it is in there beautiful women they are and they like to call themselves Persian Yeah, which I like yeah Cuz they are Persian Persian cuz the Reini the ones who are like against like the Ayatollah or whoever's in charge over there

Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I think it's just the King Muzzy. Yeah. And so... Sean King. Yeah, Sean King. He's Muzzy now cuz. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. For anyone out there who says... Yeah, you know who's in charge of the Muzzies now? Shut up. She's the best. She's the best. She's the best. She really truly is the best. She is in charge of Muzzy. She's Muzzle, man. That's a beautiful thing. She's in charge. She's the best. She really truly is the best. She's a chargé of buzz. She's Muslim and that's a beautiful thing. Yeah, but she's a chargé. She's open, so she's out there. I mean, cuz, that's the thing. You go Muslim, you are gonna be the fucking queen. Cuz right now you're all... Make no mistake. This is what it is, this is how I feel. And I gotta be honest with you, dude.

Throwing on the swig and the hat, I may look insane to you, but I feel very calm and I feel as on the nose as on the nose can be. Right now I feel like I'm in my body, I'm where my feet are. That's a new thing I do now. That's a new lesson is I'm where my feet are because I can't be traveling and doing this and have half my mind with the baby, half my mind worried about what I'm going to eat, the other half of my mind in the gym. I got to just be where my feet are and I'm absolutely right now where my feet are.

And you got two feet square in Bay Ridge right now. In Bay Ridge, which I can't explain to you. Cuz you know what else is on the nose? My two eyes. Yes, they are. Yes, they are. Cuz, are we doing a live election special tomorrow or what? Have we decided?

The election's not tomorrow, cuz. No, but by the time, oh yeah, that's right right because it's gonna come out on patreon yeah no but I mean isn't this coming out oh you mean yeah you mean you try to go to the future now yeah but yeah yeah you know what just I thought you were supposed to stay where your feet are. We should do a live election special at youtube.com slash just darkness. We are gonna do it we just got to figure out if we're gonna do it here if we're gonna do it at the stand. I still want to listen I want to do it at the stand in front of a live audience, but I do like the idea of just just here getting twisted. Yeah, and then having fans come on in the, in the, on the zoom. I like that.

And getting zucchini slices and all that. Yeah, I want a zucchini slice. Have you been having zucchini slice? Have you still been? We have, yes. So you haven't, so you, you've still, even though I haven't been been here before you still just eating the food that we used To share together. Yeah, cuz I've been cheating on you with zucchini slices grandma slices and fucking bagels for bagel boy Yeah, cuz I just sit there alone and I weep and I say something's not complete cuz every time I have a smoothie I go I can't do I gotta be cuz I gotta be honest with you as soon as we stop doing this pod You went out you started having babies you put your chain out and you started selling tickets, you became

me! You just morphed into Chrissy, because that's just what, it's the way the cookie crumbles. That's just the way the cookie crumbles. Much like the cookie crumbled against Jimmy Carter when a Republican, who was it? One of his top guys, Reagan's top guys said that he used reverse psychology and he goes Jimmy Carter is about to announce that the hostages are gonna be released in order to win this election. It's gonna boost his ratings and he's gonna win. But it was reverse psychology because what Reagan was doing behind the scenes with his people was

negotiating that that didn't happen so he could do it. So the announcement actually never happened and that was the October surprise. Got it. The October surprise was them saying there was going to be one but there wasn't one and guess what? The October surprise came in January, a couple months later after Reagan won the election and everyone in your family was very happy and then the hostages were released. They were released. And Jimmy Carter went back to peanut farming and being the best guy on the planet.

What it is, and at the end of the day, and it's just, Muslims don't like us, but we like them. It's what it is. It's what it is, I don't know why they don't like us. I think it has something to do with a country there. Oh yeah. Yeah, I think it's something to do with that. there. Oh yeah. Yeah, I think it's something to do with that. Yeah.

Also, the Christian thing, there's been a lot of conquistador situations. Now, because you told me your house in Staten Island was bought by muzzies, so I think we have to do another crusade to take your house back. Yeah, it's one of those, because- So we march to your house with crosses and take it back? Because, make no mistake, we should take it back.

Because, I mean, literally, I mean, literally the day it was a Palestinian family that bought my house on Staten Island the day that they bought it they bought it October 6th and then October 7th happened yeah the very next day and my neighbors were texting me saying it's my fault and I brought water to this block yeah because make no mistake I moved into that family I moved my family into a house on the top of Toad Hill Staten Island which is a very you know. Can you bleep the address please? No I don't live there anymore. Oh that's okay. People know where a Palestinian family lives. Yeah but no Toad Hill. No but it's just there's a lot of Toad Hills. Yeah it's a neighborhood. Yeah cuz make no mistake and make no mistake and I

swear to God this is true for the first six months of us living there I just told him that Jazz and my children were Italian and they didn't find out they were Puerto Rican until June when my Jazz put a Puerto Rican flag up for the Puerto Rican Day parade and my neighbor was a doctor across street was like Oh, are you guys really going for the Puerto Rican Day parade? I was like and I forgot, you know the lie I was like, oh, yeah, I was like, you know Puerto Rican. She was like, oh you told me she was Italian I was like, yeah I just wanted to be nice with the neighbors because we are in Staten Island And and so and then but told him it was fun.

You snuck one in there, because you Anne Franked her into the house. Yeah, I Anne Franked her into the house. You Anne Franked her into the neighborhood. Yeah, and you shindlered her. Yeah, you shindlered her because you were in Harbring, Puerto Rico. Because, make no mistake,

I moved on to that block in a very exclusive neighborhood in a very beautiful house with a family of Puerto Ricans, and one of them was transgender. So, make no mistake, in a very exclusive neighborhood in a very beautiful house with a family of Puerto Ricans and one of them was transgender So make no mistake I had some Explaining to do and the Staten Island City Council meeting and I got called into a month one Because you single-handedly dropped the value of the neighborhood on Zillow. Yeah, it's what it is because make no mistake I sold my house for a loss people people can't believe why I sold my house on Staten Island so quickly. Make no mistake I was pushed out. I was pushed out and now I live safely amongst the Jews. Right. Now I

live safely amongst the Jews in a neighborhood let's just call it Long Island. Yes it's pretty much it's pretty much right there yeah and I'm safely in the confines of my Jewish brothers and sisters. Yes you are. But we do support Palestinian people too. We are down the middle. We support it all We are for everyone here, especially our favorite battle rapper Zach Isis Zach Isis whose career is about to take off probably Yes, yeah an emoji face Mike emoji face my crush his career will take off when they do make When they do make the animated emoji movie. Yes. He will audition for it.

And he will get it. Yeah. Yeah. And I think, Mike, what our plan is, is we're going to have people. Right now, we're skeleton operation. We're keeping it small because we do need to build. For Halloween, it's a skeleton operation. We do build.

We are building back the infrastructure here. So you can help build that back up at patreon.com. We will have what we're gonna do there is just audio only content 20 minutes 30 minutes but of wild shit on the audio and a couple of kamikazes where if you remember that folks where one of us Yanis or I are filming are recording each other on our phones when the other one doesn't know and we throw that puppy up there for a hefty price because we used to do was wild I mean mean we used to do was wild.

Actually we could also, we could be federally indicted. We could actually, we have actually committed crimes on each other and it's a slow chaos but at least we didn't go to a ditty party. Yeah, no, at least we'd never been to a ditty party. That's big, big trouble over there. I kind of wish I would have went though. Cause did he try to kill Jamie Foxx?

He did try to kill Jamie Foxx and now they're saying that he actually killed Brittany Murphy and her husband. Oh no. Yeah, if you Google- What did they do? Baby oil was called, well, he did something with the baby oil and it gave them both a mo- Cause does he kill people with baby oil?

He does kill people with baby oil. He's got a lot of baby oil, a thousand bottles of baby oil. Yeah. That's a lot of baby oil. Yeah, it's a lot of baby- Did you drown someone in baby oil? Yeah, I'm not into the baby oil porn. I've never been that. Sergio, our good friend Sergio Chacon, when he used to watch baby oil? Yeah, I'm not into the baby oil porn. I've never been that.

Sergio, our good friend Sergio Chacon, when he used to watch baby oil porn a lot on the road. Yeah. Yeah, I used to. And you knew because you guys were sleeping in the same room. Yeah, I had. What did he do to that poor little boy, Justin Bieber's asshole?

It probably wasn't good. Because he really, I mean, he. Yeah. Yeah, and they say maybe he killed his wife, Tim Porter. really, I mean he, yeah, they say maybe he killed his wife, Tim Porter. Yeah, I mean, there's just, there's no way he didn't kill some few peeps, right? Maybe Biggie and Tupac too. Yeah, but here's the truth, but let me ask you this,

then we will get back to October's surprise. Do you think though that we'll ever find out or is it gonna be like Aliens and JFK where they're gonna fucking constantly, you know, d dangle the carrot but at the end of the day nobody's ever gonna know nothing. I think at the end of the day nobody's gonna know nothing because there's probably powerful people that he blackmailed and then he may he may end up going he may end up doing the Steph Curry in his cell. I can't believe he hasn't Steph Curry in the cell yet. Yeah you think he will?

Yeah I mean like Jeffrey Epstein't Steph Curry in the cell yet. Yeah, you think he will? Yeah, I mean, like Jeffrey Epstein got Steph Curryed because some people were like, we can't have this. And I think there's people, because he was black, he was doing the same thing as Jeffrey Epstein, was filming people doing things, and so then he could have power over them. I mean, and essentially that's what we do with the kamikaze is we have our own version

of the free cross. I gotta take, this fucking wig is sweaty, I don't know how you do it, but you need a. You need a little head. There's also like 15 years worth of sweating there. Who said that? You make a lot of money off that. A lot of people eat off that wig. Be careful with that wig. A lot of people eat off that wig. I'm changing the hat back. Yeah, go back. I mean, cause I'm growing my hair out. It's just a process. You're going to have to deal with it. Yeah. Well, when the hair goes like that, you look like a white guy from Kamala. And when the other one goes on, you look like you Trump 2024. This way? Yeah. I'm just surprised it fits.

Yeah. I mean, here we go. I put the hood mean, I'm surprised it gets on there. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. Now, now you look like you're ready to throw a rock through a Starbucks window. Yeah, this is what it is. Now I look like I've been paid by George Soros. Yeah, you look like a George Soros soldier right now. Yeah, I am. Yeah, I'm going to I'm here to cause chaos. Okay, so we have Jimmy Carter at the October surprise. That was big one the Iran hostage crisis and then tell us Who what was the next October surprise? Well, there's a whole big there's a funny one that involves gay guys Yeah, we're gonna go straight to the funny one cuz listen

There's a lot of them almost every election tries to have one right and here's the funny thing Like I said the what the thing you learn is that dirty politics has always been around the same things So you just push your hair back. It didn't move Yeah, the same themes have been around the same things. Cause you just push your hair back, it didn't move. It didn't move. Yeah. The same themes have been around. I still can't tell if you're bald or have hair. And it's been the same process for four years. I don't know where you are. Yeah, cause I don't look like I've aged, right?

No, you actually don't. Cause wait, hold on, wait a second. If I'm 40, that means you're almost 50. I'm going to be there in two years. Jesse, how old are you? Are you 50 as well? 40. I'm 40. 40. You're 40. Jesse's 40 plus. Wow. 40 plus.. Jesse, how old are you? Are you 50 as well? 40, I'm 40. 40.

Jesse's 40 plus. Wow, 40 plus. Wait, so how old are you? Because when you hit 40, you just say 40 plus. I'm 40 forever. Yeah, you're 40 forever. So you're 40, yes. Wow.

Yes, yeah, it's what it is. Gross. Because we're middle-aged men. We are middle-aged. Yeah, you know what? Me and you, if we took our blood pressure numbers, then like I said, we're the same age. We're the same age.

Well, let me ask you this, because you've been 40 a little bit longer. But I kind of feel that 40, what 40 is to me right now, is I'm at the beginning of getting older. This is the first year where when you're 40, you say, I'm getting older. But then you've had a few years in 40 to kind of just accept that you're getting older.

Because then when you turn 50, and if you're young and you're going to stay young and cute like this, then I kind of feel like at 50. Did you just call me cute? Yeah. Thanks guys. You're still cute too. Thank you. You're going to feel you're going to feel good at 50 because now you've accepted what it is to get older. But, it's like into their 80s. So, you know, it's like, unfortunately, when you look at the stats, and they say 77, 78 for men, unfortunately, for white men, it seems to be older. Right, like you have a good chance of living to your 90s, actually. It just seems like if you don't get cancer by a certain age, like then, and it's just, yeah,

if you break it down by demographic, if like the white guys usually live, like, into their mid-80 yeah, if you break it down by demographic, if like the white guys usually live like into their mid-80s, my dad made it to 91, so I'm going 95. 91, and your mom made it to 90. 90. And my grandparents went to 103 and 97. That's what it is.

And because the only one that made that early is your gay brother. That's it. That's it, his blood pressure. Well, no, because of God. Yeah. Well, yeah, that's it. Yeah, you just can't, yeah, And by the way, I love you.

As you know, I've- You want to date him. I was going to say, I've maintained a relationship with your brother. Yes. And so I shout him out. I love him. But yeah, that's the only one.

But your brother, who is- He's living in sin. He's living in sin. But your special needs brother is the one who will live the longest, because he has the least amount of stress. And he's just kind of having fun hanging out. He will outlive all of you.

He will. He will. He's no stress. No stress, no ideas. He will outlive all of you. And will. He will. He's no stress. No stress. No ideas. He will outlive all of you and it's what it is. And make no mistake when you die, he's going to just put a little binky in that casket or something fun. Something like a little toy truck. Because still when you, at my dad's funeral, when you walked up to the casket and the back flaps of your coat opened up and your butt popped out, it was still one of the funniest

things. It was a one of the funniest things. It was a really nice moment for me in a sad time, because he went up to say, you know, to everyone lines up, just say goodbye. So he walked up to the casket. And when he took a step onto the altar, he had like a Philemon's Basement suit on. So the back flaps of his jacket opened up,

and he's got a wide, big ass. And it just popped out. What do you think? But I have lost a little, but it's still. You got a fat fucking ass. Yeah. And it just popped out. It's still big. What do you think? But I have lost a little, but it's still. Yeah, I mean, you got a fat fucking ass. What do you think though? You're built like a catcher.

I'm built like a catcher. You get the body of Jorge Posada. But I think I'm in better shape now than I was four years ago. You do. But the problem is you get too skinny, then you look like a lollipop. So you gotta maintain some weight.

Something. And then another nice moment for us is at your wedding when I ripped a sweet juicy fart I made your brother. I made your special school brother laugh. Everyone was laughing because the photographer was taking way too long and your father was laughing Yeah, yeah, my father was there. He wasn't there in there the pictures your father was there during the picture Was he there your pops was there? Oh, yeah, everyone laughed. Yes, everyone laughed. It was great. It was a great thing Yeah, it was good. It was another funny October surprise Let's do it during the LBJ talking about gay guys talking about three dollar bills another one that you get a little bit

I'll be Johnson a three dollar bill. I didn't know that we don't know we do know her Herbert Hoover used to put on women's clothing And so does Oscar de la Hoya and that's funny and that's very funny That's very funny that Herbert Hoover was on the phone saying we got to get something on Martin Luther King go tap his phone and he was doing it in fish nets and pumps. Yes, which is that he was doing it Yanni style. Yeah, he's doing Yanni style. Because Yanni used to throw in his mother's fish net stockings and jerk off and it's es lo que es. Yeah, what we about to say? I think you mean J. Edgar. What did I say Herbert? You said Herbert Hoover. Not Herbert. Yeah, same thing. I mean same fucking thing. An old white guy from history, but it was J. Edgar Hoover. He was a cross dresser. Yeah. Which is hilarious.

Well, cause if you look at most of the founding fathers, they all kind of were cross dressers. They all threw on wigs and high heels and stockings. They all kind of look like Marisa. They did have stockings. Look at a one dollar bill. Yeah. Right now, George Washington, they all wear powdered wigs and they wear fucking tight stockings and high heel shoes. Because how did it become fashion to wear another person's hair? We gotta go back, I wanna go back to start dressing. By the way, I've been calling East Coast time

13 colonies time. But now I say, what time's it? I say 13 colonies, I've been on record saying this. I wanna go back to the original 13, this whole idea of this westward expansion, this manifest destiny by James Madison, which we'll do an episode on him because he's a wild figure, the fifth president of the US. My father went to Madison High School too.

That's it. Yeah. So I think that I'm done. I don't want all these other states. I don't need them. I want to perform in them. Check me out in Salt Lake City, Utah. But I do less and less have a need to go westward.

I want to stay in the original 13. It's where I feel good. Because I feel the same exact way. Every time I go on a plane more than four hours, I want to turn around. Because I've had enough. I've had enough of America. And by the way, the last six months of the first Reich

of Hyenas is... Because you're still a German king. Yeah,us make no mistake. Cus he's still a German king. Cus make no mistake, we're in the second reich and this one might fail too, but when we come back big, it's gonna be numero tres! So, and that's when the big wigs come out. So, um,

but we kept speaking about it, let's do some old episodes, we kept speaking about, and we just never followed through, but this time we have to do it, we kept speaking about taking a day trip to Charleston There's $99 flights Deebo jet blue squeak of the week. I want to do it. Deebo can get us down there for 99 bucks Let's do it. We go on a 6 a.m. Flight. We get down there at 730 We spend the whole day in Charleston just prancing perusing as we will fucking prance and stroll like you have no idea Yeah, and that's three tours galore. Yes.

The only time I've ever seen you at peace. At peace. I mean, remember when we were in the Francis Tavern Museum and I ripped a nice juicy part as well. I remember that. Looking at a Civil War painting. Yeah. And then the only time I saw you completely at peace. Yeah.

Completely at peace. Was in Munich, Germany. Was in Munich, Germany. We were sitting there. You were at peace, right? We had history. Yeah, well, we were in, we went to the actual site of the Hitler's Beer Hall push. We did a Nazi tour, and then we went,

and we were sitting up on that hill, the old castle, and we had pints of beer, and we had the French Alps behind us. And I was getting naked pics from a girl in Bay Ridge. And we had Alps in the backgrounds, and you were looking at me, because I think you were falling in love with me. Because I was, I was falling in love Make no mistake and you said you're back where your ancestors are because you said my ancestors were shit shovelers in Germany

And you were probably correct the moon though. No cuz you did not come from German aristocracy German aristocracy did not go to Ridgewood and start driving buses and having a couple of families No, you can't have a big fat ass like me. Yeah, if you were aristocracy No, you're a shit shoveler shit Just like just these good there comes from a long line of fucking Italian shit shovelers It's what I come from a long line of Greek shit shovels I would really be funny to go back 500 years or 600 years and go to like Da Vinci's time and go to that little town and see Da Vinci painting the

Michelangelo or Mona Lisa whatever you paint was the Mona Lisa or Michelangelo We got it. We know he's we got a painter He wanted to Vinci paint. Oh the Sistine Chapel. No, sorry Michael Angelo did this is why we're the history I eat is we do history, but we often do it wrong Yeah, here's the thing fact-check us I would be really funny to go back 600 years and see Michelangelo yeah painting the Sistine Chapel and then to just go in the next town over and just see one of Jesse's ancestors painting a fat fuck. Just painting this fat fuck. Also Michael Angelo, it'd be nice to go back in history and just see him

just fucking, I think he was a bottom. He was a gay guy. Oh my god. Yeah, him just getting banged out, but then also whipping himself with a belt. He was also a Christian which probably made it a lot fucking hotter. Yeah. Think about it. Sometimes when you think about the oppression of the church or whatever and how chaste they want you to be, it almost makes it better. Right. You know, like the first time I got a hand job from a girl from Catholic school, it was just hotter because I could tell she was like, this is bad. Yes. So it's almost worth it. I think religion is good for that. Yes, I do think because there is, there is a little bit of, and it's just, I don't know why. It's better when it's naughty. It's better when it's naughty. Just like you and I have discussed, I can't tell

you why the protein is buried deep within the cell of an animal and you have to kill it to eat it. We don't know why. Also, I don't know why sex is just better if it's a little naughty. I'm just, listen, I'm just playing by the rules. I did not make them, but I do play by them. Yeah I do play by them. Yeah, we play by them, and those rules, a lot of times, don't make sense. They don't, and you're just gonna have to deal with it. Yeah, I mean, look, I mean, just look at hyenas.

Like we said, they're an effective hunter, but they don't really have a plan. They cackle, but they're not laughing. Nobody knows why. The women are bigger, the women are stronger, and they beat up the boys. Yep, they have birth, the women give birth through a penis. They're trans! They're trans, they eat up the boys. Yep. And then they have birth. The women give birth through a penis. They're trans.

They're trans. They eat the animal backwards. They eat the animal while it's still alive. They eat it like legs first. The only animals do that. They eat the bones. They pulverize and eat the bones. They eat the bones.

And sometimes they stop the pod, and then they just restart it for no reason. That's what they do. That's what they do. So anyone looking for answers, you're in the wrong pod. You're in the wrong pod if you're looking for answers. There's no answers. There's just comedy. Yeah. At the There's no answers, there's just comedy.

Yeah, at the end of the day, there's just comedy. That's what it is at the end of the day. Yes, this is just a, what is it? It's trial of errors, what's it called, Jess? Comedy of errors? Jesse reads a lot of books. Comedy of errors. What's the last book you read, Jesse?

I'm reading two right now. Which one's two right now? I'm reading Black Boy by Richard Wright. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's that one about? It's a memoir. Have you been texting with Sergio Chacon about his,

are you guys in a book club? Oh, Sergio's reading a lot of Che Guevara. Yeah. Oh, he's getting militarized. Sergio's militarized. He's already been militarized. Yeah, Sergio's militarized. All right.

No, I'm taking, there's a Yale course. Richard Wright is great. He's amazing. There's a literature course on YouTube, a Yale literature course. So it's like, if you were enrolled in Yale, you could actually like go along week by week. And so I'm reading all the books. Oh, you're trying to get a Yale Literature course. So it's like if you were enrolled in Yale, you could actually like go along week by week and so I'm reading all the books. Are you trying to get a Yale education?

I'm getting a Yale education. Yeah. Well, they need people because their enrollment is down. This once the Jews cut off the money. This was 15 years ago, so it's safe. It's safe from all the... You're on YaleTube. Yeah. So, okay. So, Black Boy by Richard Wright. Yeah. And then I'm reading, it's on the Kindle, so Black Boy by Richard Wright.

Yeah, and then I'm reading, it's on the Kindle, so I always forget the title, The Sympathizer, which actually turned into a TV show. It's about the fall of Vietnam. So you're reading two books right now. I listen to one and I read another one. Every day you read? Every day.

Yeah. I mean this kid. He's a smart kid. Yeah, he's just a smart kid and he's just a balanced kid and he's just always like this. Do you still read everyday? No, no because I had two babies to take care of. That's the thing, that's the thing.

It's like I used to. I'm off the internet. I wanna be present with my family. Yeah, I used to. And the internet is just addictive and I'm off and I'm spending, it's better to be in the moment with my children. Yeah, yesterday my pops, Tony, when we went to the Yankee

and I asked him if he wanted any memorabilia, if he wanted to buy like a World Series hat or anything like that, a pin, and he was like, no. He's like, I just want, he was like, what I would love if we just weren't on our phones and we would just enjoy these two, three hours. He was like, I never thought I'd be able to go to a World Series game and now I'm here with my son,

so I just want to enjoy that. And it's better. And it's better that way. And then you put it away, you put it away and then you just literally the amount of connection that you have, I mean me and my dad were, we felt like we were watching, we watched every pitch of that game. And we didn't have really that great seats but we just watched every pitch. And then I did look over in the sixth inning and he was asleep.

Because just an older guy. He's an older guy and that's what they do. And then he woke up and then he was right back in it. Yeah, I mean the point of life is human connection and if you're on your phone you're not going to connect and the only way you can connect is be vulnerable. So be out there. Go be vulnerable. Take off your armor and be vulnerable.

Tell someone you love them. Just start. Just do it. Don't be scared to get hurt. Just do it. It also makes people irritable to be on their phone. Like you get... Well it fucks your brain.

It turns you into a gambler. Yes, yes. You're gambling. Like you constantly want to look at look at I just saw you take a peek at yours Yeah, cuz I'm keeping our notes up. Yeah, but I don't even know if we're gonna get back to it. No, we are Well, let's get back to it. By the way, this is this is the show This is the way the show has always been is we might get to the history topic or we might not just listen Stay tuned. We always say it's either history heavy or hyena heavy and you never know never know It's a point. No, it's a coin flip like our sexuality heavy. And you never know. You never know. And we don't know.

It's a coin flip like our sexuality. It's just a coin flip like Kamala or Trump. You don't know what's gonna happen. Right now, it's neck and neck. Nobody knows what's gonna happen. Who do you got? Here's what I'll say. Not with your heart.

I know it's in your heart. Here's what I'll say. This is not a political statement because you actually don't know who I got. You don't know who I, because I might write in somebody crazy. Jill Stein. Jill, yeah.

I do think that my algorithm is, because that's really all I can go off, is what the algorithms would pump it to me, that it feels like Trump is up by a lot. That's what it feels like, that Donny T is up by a lot. So I do think he is going to win. However, 2016, I remember all those polls saying that Hillary was up like 90% to 10, and then she lost.

So I don't know what's gonna happen until it happens. What I do predict though, unfortunately, unfortunately, what I do predict is that we're not gonna know who the president is the night of the election. There's gonna be a civil war first. That, I think there's gonna be another recount and I think we're gonna have to wait till January again. I really do believe that.

Yeah, that's possible. You're watching this. It probably could have been announced by now. So whoever won, they're still American. Everyone stay calm. The hyenas are back. Everything's good. It's fine. We came back to everything's good. It's fine.

We came back to save this country. That's why we're here. That we're here to save this country and calm everyone down and remind you we're all American. We have different opinions. And some people want to kill babies and some people don't. And that's just what it is. Because, make no mistake, here's who we are. Okay, here's who we are.

We're the Menendez Sisters. We are the Menendez Sisters. So that's what we want to be referred to as. We're the Menendez sisters. We are the Menendez sisters. So that's that's what we want to be referred to as We're the Menendez sisters. Okay, we blew our podcast head off and now we're out of jail. Yeah, we're back and everything's fine Everything's fine. Everything's okay. Everyone take a deep breath. Don't do box breathing. Do you do any box breathing? What is ba hold? And then hold and then Yeah, it'll calm you right down. Yeah box breathing. It's great. Yeah. No, I do meditate though I do because I got a sauna you got a red light

It's it's it got a nice discount of price. I got a sauna it fits right in my basement I got a little song you plug it in 220 volts Yeah, you plug it in and I got a sauna and I go ahead and I breathe in the sauna. That's very That's what I do. That's very nice. I breathe in the sauna or I try to meditate at the gym. I try to take myself out of a trance. I try to get myself in trance and I just go to the gym because make no mistake, I've been working out with Anthony over here at Badass Academy and he puts me through very difficult workouts. So I try to just put my body in another place because they're very difficult. And you can only really work out in place now because you got a bad Achilles heel.

I got a bad Achilles heel but Anthony works around it. Right. Anthony Esposito, star trainer of Badass Academy who was our most recent four years ago, Squeak of the Week. Every week what we like to do is we would call... He's a short kid but he's a jack. He's a jack kid. We would call... Like a lot of short kids are. Yes, we would call our friend Debo who works for JetBlue, baggage handler for JetBlue but does tell girls he's a pilot and still does by the way, he still does by the way if you go into O'Neill's pub any Sunday during football week and you see a pilot that's under 5'6", just know it's Deebo and just know that the truth is he lives with his mom and dad. So but that's okay they're very nice people but we would call him

in and we would call him every week. He's like Leonardo DiCaprio from Catch Me If You Can but it doesn't work. Yes. Yeah, he tells everybody he's a pilot, but it just doesn't work. He doesn't get on the plane. Yes. So what we would do is we would call him in.

He would give us the squeak of the week, someone who's 5' 7' or under, and he would tell us news of a short guy, whatever short guys are in the news, you know, what they did. So we will continue that tradition. We're going to try to get to that each week. But squeak of the week, we want to bring that back. Debo said that he's told me, he said he's ready. He's ready now. He wants to meet a lady from the Australian fan base or guy. We just don't know. He's also going flip. We don't know, but he said he wants to meet his partner and he wants that partner to be a hyenas fan and he'd prefer

If they're five one or under I bet you there's been some relationships that have been formed from fans who have met through the history hyenas 100% I bet you it's happened if it has let us know. Yes. I mean Lisa Johnson member Lisa Johnson. Yeah, shout out Lisa Johnson. I mean remember she would they had a whole I mean I mean, you know Sabrina the Hyena. How about Dr. Harvey? Dr. Harvey, from Rockville, South Carolina. But what was the name? Dr. Harvey?

Was it Oswald? Weinstein? No, I wish. Not Oswald, Dr. Harvey. Dr. Harvey Spencer. Dr. Harvey Spencer, crack it open and cleaning your teeth. Crack it teeth crack it up a clean because remember we used to have a small business sponsor You can be a small business sponsor page. I would shout out your business for a thousand bucks We were screwed in we will still do that, but make no mistake. We have to adjust for inflation

So now it's ten thousand thousand shekels pods back and you gotta understand is that yes this episode The first one was on Patreon for a week and that was Yanni's screwed in idea. But make no mistake we're just building back the infrastructure cause make no mistake when this thing comes back in full force we're coming with a blitzkrieg. We're coming with a full blown britzkrieg. Britzkrieg. Yeah Yanni Biden is back cause you're Yanni word salads.

Cause we're gonna fly it in like the Luftwaffe. Because I'm going to start calling you Kamala Pappas. Yeah, I mean, sometimes the words just get caught in my mouth. Yeah, also shout out Dr. Andrew Agos, who within five minutes, Dr. Andrew Agos and Dr. Luke, my friend, are our team doctors. We do have, that's the beautiful part about being a part of this podcast, is we do have team physicians. We do.

So we have two physicians, we have Dr. Andrew. We have Dr. Drew, we'll add him to the list. We have Dr. Andrew Agos, who will make no mistakes in pictures of people who's doing surgery around to the grip track. And we have Dr. Luke, who is the baby's godfather, one of my baby's godfathers. And so they are our medical team.

And we have Dr. Andrew Ackos did send us memes within five minutes of mine and Yanni's face on Trump's face after he got shot in the ear. Yes, that was a funny one. And also the two girls with the American flags. That was another funny one. He also did write one, Hygienist for Harrison. It's me and Yanni's last pregnant white man. He's just a 10 out of 10. He is a 10 out of 10. He is. So the October surprise, just to

wrap it up real quick. Um, and then we'll get to the Patriot names. Well, but yeah, the funny one we got to cover is Lyndon B. Johnson's aid who got caught in a YMCA banging a dude. Well, so tell us about that. Yeah. He got back at a time where everyone was still a little homophobic and then Barry Goldwater tried to use that saying there's corruption. How do you think he's rooting for Israel or Palestine? Who? Barry Goldwater? He would be going big time for Israel. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, that yeah. Yeah. That's a funny name, Barry Goldwater. And even AOC will go, look, we want Israel's got to end this war. But now that she's a mainstream Democrat, she'd say, and release the hostages. So whenever you say you're for the Palestinians and you don't want them to have plight, you have to always remember to say, also we want to get these hostages home. At this point, I don't know if the hostages... Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if they're there. I don't know if they're there. I don't know if they're still there. It's been a while. Unfortunately, it's sad.

It is sad, and make no mistake, despite where I may or may not be politically, I wanna hang out AOC bad. She is a fucking smoke show. She's a smoke show. Yeah, she just is. It's really, really difficult. Sometimes I ask Jasmine to put on a fucking pantsuit

and go make believe she's sitting in Congress. Well, if you did. Because she's just fucking hot. She reminds me of she reminds me Jasmine yeah well if you didn't know there is a deep fake board yeah well I do know because unfortunately I might have to edit that one out yeah that'll be on patreon yeah well anything cackled out you'll see a patreon that comes on that yeah throw cackles on that yeah um so yeahles on that yeah so okay so yes so Barry Goldwater was he blowing a guy in a bathroom in a YMCA?

It was the aid of Lyndon B. Johnson's who was blowing a guy and maybe get banged out it might have been it happens it might have been happened and so back then Barry Goldwater tried to use that and say look at the administration they're all gay right it's, they're just all gay. They're all gay. Bad. Right. And it did hurt, um, Lyndon a little bit, but ultimately he was able to win. Okay. So that was the October surprise.

Able to win and then effectively kill JFK. He was effectively able to win and kill JFK. Is that going to come out in our lifetime? That I think it was Lyndon Johnson that had him. If Trump wins, cause he did allude to this on Rogan. He said that if he wins, he will release the JFK stuff. Yeah, I don't buy it. You don't think he can?

No, because I just don't think he can. I don't think he looked at it the first time. I think Trump just says stuff. He's like, there's a lot of things, there's a lot of things, they saw it's interesting things, there's things, I don't know. I spoke to some people. You know, you asked me, who are you voting for

and who do you think's gonna win? What is your algorithm telling you? Yeah, I don't know.? Yeah, I don't know. This one I don't know. I don't know. Here's the funny thing. You're going, whoa, was Tony Hinchcliffe's speech at Madison Square Garden in the final rally calling Puerto Ricans island garbage out of context? Was that gonna be enough to galvanize maybe 500,000 Puerto Ricans in Pennsylvania

to sway a very tight election in a swing state and this election could very well come down to Pennsylvania maybe but then Biden came out because he probably hates that he got he got defrocked by the Obamas and by Nancy Pelosi and and what did he say exactly he just he called he did the old Hillary and he said that Trump supporters are garbage got it like that what was the exact quote? Something like that. So it was, that's the mistake that Hillary did when she called them deplorables. And so you don't know now. Is it going to even out? I don't know. But Tony Hinchcliffe could be the October surprise. Who knows? Comey was a big October surprise for Hillary

and that actually hurt her. It hurt her because she was up in the polls and then the FBI started investigating those emails and she went down and then they tried to get Trump I said he grabbed women by the pussy and your mother-in-law said that's fine she said she said that's why you think exactly she says that's and you think that I'm not gonna vote for him because he grabs a pussy that's what a man does I'm not gonna vote for a woman so she just is not gonna vote for what yeah. So she's just not gonna vote for a woman. Yeah, and yeah, and the truth is, and then the Democrats said that, you know, that the Trump rally at MSG was a bunch of Nazis, and that's that's offensive to

us. Everyone always tries to pull October surprises. You go back to Martin Van Buren, he's accusing the Whig Party, which was Harrison at the time, they were running against each other and he accused Harrison of trying to import voters from Pennsylvania. James Harrison, he was assassinated I think, right? Didn't he get poisoned? I don't remember. Well, I don't know. I talk about James Harrison or Marvin Harrison the NFL player I'm talking about Marvin Harrison who at one time was a president. Yeah. Yeah. I know I thought it was James Harrison No, it was Marvin Harrison and he played for the Colts Marvin Harrison. Yes. He did He did play for yes, and then his son his son is in the NFL now. Yes

So do you okay? So so you're saying that almost, I mean it feels like almost every election that's close there's some October surprise. My question to you is do you think that it happens naturally because humans being humans or it is the absolute corrupt American political machine making it happen? They hold things in until October. They release the, they really release everything they got in October. That's what they do. If you look at it, you know October loosely right so it can happen in September it can happen but a close election look what they did to RFK no doubt the Democratic machine came out and they were like let's get these

stories on him and yeah boom because they didn't want him to split the vote but then it could have backfired because then he went on the choo-choo train. So now maybe the votes that were going to him were going to go to Trump. They wanted him out, so they took him down with the bear cub story, which is a wild story. The shark head that was tied to the roof, and he's banging out a reporter. It's what it is. It happens, but we all know that, and it seems like his wife doesn't care because it probably was part of the agreement when you marry a Kennedy.

It's absolutely okay, Anthony. He's fucking jacked. He's jacked, and he's definitely on Winstrel, and it seems like his wife doesn't care because it probably was part of the agreement when you marry a Kennedy. It's absolutely okay, Anthony. He's fucking jacked. He's jacked and he's definitely on Winstral and it's just what happened. And he was never going to win because make no mistake, even though he's jacked and I do like his policies and what he stands for, the voice, I can't get past it. Yeah. And a lot of times they wait until October. You want to know why?

Because a lot of times the story is bullshit. It's not true. But they know if they release it in October, by the time people find out it's not bullshit, the election's done. Makes sense the election's done. So you think possibly, I mean, we, you know, it's, it's The only one that seems to have worked is Comey because the rest of them were, it seems to be attempts that just didn't work. They may have made the elections a little closer, but make no mistake, Teddy Roosevelt was shot during a speech. So a lot of times you go, look at all these themes now.

Like I said, election fraud. Then you had the Chinese immigrants. Then Trump got assassinated. Guess what? Teddy Roosevelt was shot and then gave the fuckin' speech for 80 minutes, cuz that's when men were men and they smoked Marlboro's and they didn't vote Democrat. That's what it is, cuz, and I have a soft spot in my heart

for Teddy Roosevelt. One, he has one of my favorite quotes where he says, "'Comparison is the thief of joy. I like that one. And number two, I owe my entire life and my entire family and one of the things I am so happy to be on this planet and alive for, I owe to Teddy Roosevelt because Teddy Roosevelt made the island of Puerto Rico

a US territory. It was him, it was after the Spanish-American War, which he fought as one of the Rough Riders, which I did, I do not use that brand because I have two babies. He used, he used, he was one of the Rough Riders and when they won that war, he said when he became president, he made Puerto Rico part of US territories. And I thank Teddy Rosell very much for giving me my Puerto Rican family. That's right. Yeah. I do love Puerto Ricans.

Yeah, I mean, Puerto Rico, it's like, it is a territory, but it's not a state, they can't vote, I don't understand what's going on with that. And they just have no fumes. And that's the other thing. And they're fucking absolutely gorgeous people. They're gorgeous people, and they definitely have no fumes. No fumes at all, and they're fucking beautiful,

and I tried for a moment there to get into white girls, and I can't do it. You just can't do it, no. I can't do it. I just can't do it. I can't do it, I want Latinas all the time. I love Puerto Rican girls. Jesse's into that big time as well. Black girls, what is he like? He likes that too, but he's definitely into Puerto Ricans.

You like Puerto, are you a single man right now, Jesse? No, no, no, long time, long time. Puerto Rican girl. No, give me a Dominican though. Oh, you like a mix of the two. But what is your girlfriend, white? She's Italian, yeah. Right, so it's what it is, yeah.

So that's just what happened to Teddy Roosevelt That was the October surprise for him is he got a bullet. He did get a bullet It's a bullet and you know, it's funny the 50 the 50 page speech that he ended up reading was what blocked the bullet, right? So he got shot right there. I mean he even said what he got He said it takes more than one bullet to kill a bull moose So when everyone remembers this from Trump, the original one was he stood up while he was shot. And cause the bullet was lodged in his rib. Yeah.

And he continued to give an 80 minute speech. Yes. I mean, they don't make men like that. They don't make men like Paul Newman. No, Paul Newman was an actor, which means he was basically a girl. That's what it is. Teddy Roosevelt, he also said, right, talk softly and carry a big stick. Yeah, that's what it is. And make no mistake, he did do that speech in Milwaukee, so if you scan that crowd, you will see Jeffrey Dahmer eating black men's penises in the background. You will see. I mean, because he was a wild kid too, Jeffrey Dahmer. We do have to do a serial killer episode, because I mean, that man was wild.

He was wild. He had some, he had a certain taste in cuisine that was a little different. Little different. Not only did he like to eat people, he liked to eat black kids. Cause I gotta be honest with you too, and we'll discuss this maybe on a Patreon episode,

but I am still afraid of the dark, and I still sleep with the lights on, and I watch the Night Stalker Richard Ramirez documentary on Netflix and I'm very afraid. Yeah that was a mistake. That was the scariest, have you ever seen that one? No. That was the scariest Netflix documentary I've ever seen. Oh yeah, because of him. He's so scary. He is psyched. He's the only one where one person escaped. So when I looked, they said his breath smelled horrible and they said when you looked him in the eyes you genuinely felt like you were looking at Satan and then they slowly panned up to a picture

of him on that cue and they played this music and it literally I mean it made my skin crawl I got really really fucking nervous and I grabbed the black and white and even the way he ended it was like it was almost like a mythical evil story like the way the finally the townspeople got him on the street and they just all started beating him you know, I finally caught him like stomped out. Yeah, they just all were like stomping him. It's terrible Yeah, he's a terrifying guy good thing. He wasn't into killing dudes. Yeah, that's a good Yeah, good thing. You can't really be a serial killer anymore. Just too much too easy to get caught Yeah, it's you can't really do anything. You can't have a second family

Yeah, you can't you can't really do anything. You're just gonna get caught. You're gonna get caught and if you're in a political party and they're gonna find it out, the operatives will find out what you did. They'll find your emails, they'll find the laptop and they'll try to give you a big old October surprise which is what happens when you hook up with a lady and you reach down and you find out that she's got a glue gun. It's what it is. What hap- oh yeah, oh yeah, but not Barry Goldwater. He just, he knew that the guy had a glue gun

and he just went down there anyway. No, it wasn't Barry Goldwater. It was, it was LBJ. LBJ was running against Barry Goldwater and it was LBJ's top aide who was a homosexual. He was a homosexual. Back then when you couldn't be a homosexual. No, you couldn't be a homosexual,

but his name was Jenkins, Walter Jenkins. I feel like you can again and I feel like why doesn't anyone why isn't there more people saying Pete likes it in the Buddha check? Why are people not going wild with that one? Pete looks into the Buddha check. Pete likes to do the Buddha check. And I can't believe that I just thought of that. Yeah, that's a great one. And then that should be so much Patreon. That should be a button when he runs for president.

Yeah, Pete likes it in the Buddha check. If he wants to run in four years, I would just, I would M&M that. And I would, by the way, speaking of M&M, I mean, he went wild for Kamala too. He's going wild for Kamala. Yeah. Yeah, Bad Bunny's going wild for Kamala. Yeah. Yeah bad buddies go wild for Kamala. Do you think that people who do that and go really crazy like above and beyond for it really believe in democracy and they think that they're saving this country or they were at ditty parties and they don't want it to get leaked? Well here's the honest truth I'm being serious. Yeah the honest truth is I actually for this

episode while I was researching I went, I thought things were different now. I thought things have gotten extreme, because that's all you hear. And the internet has made people a little crazy, but when you look at history, you go, this is just shit that keeps happening. It's happened before. Like I said, well, what was it, the other one?

Was it Garfield with the Chinese immigrants? You're going like, someone forged a letter. They actually later got indicted and arrested for it, but they forged a letter Claiming it was Garfield wrote it saying that Garfield loved Chinese immigrants and that they were he would wanted He said that it's okay for employers to pay them whatever they want. So he's basically saying that Garfield supported Illegal labor right and you're going like this was happening back then now It's the Mexicans and on, they're importing all these Mexicans to vote and to work undocumented.

Back then, the undocumented workers were the Chinese. Somebody tried to October surprise Garfield by going, he likes the Chinese, and here's the thing, nobody likes the Chinese. So we knew it was a lie. Yeah, it's what it is. That's a way to the future. But what I'm saying is, it just repeats. It just repeats. Election fraud. Same thing.

Trump claimed it. And then Van Buren was claiming it against Harrison. And it's the same themes and the same dirty politics. Andrew Jackson, they said, oh, he had a daughter out of wedlock. His wife's a whore. He's a whore. He's a bastard. They were trying all the dirty same shit. We're just fucking American and we play dirty. We play dirty, we're a pre-returnical society, but I don't even know if it's American. I think it's just being a human being. I think that this was probably happening

3,000 years ago too. It just was always happening from the beginning because we are designed, our brain, our baseline setting for the human brain, the human form brain that we are now, the homo sapienien is just designed for war It's that's what it's designed for and even when we are at peace our baseline setting will go to war People think right now that they're in some kind of war with who you're gonna vote for Kamala or Trump and you're voting for war

Not for it's like you're not you're in the safe Confines of the original 13 colonies and you're fine. There is no war happening if you were living in Gaza That's a different story, right? But you're and you're fine. There is no war happening. If you were living in Gaza, that's a different story. Right. But you're not. You're living safely here, but yet your brain is designed for war. So what I'm here to tell you is that that might be a fact

that we're studying that you can't get around, but knowledge is power. And if you know your thoughts, then you can control them, and you will not make them real. And you can sit with them, and you can breathe, and you can box breathe, as Yannis does. You can sit in the sauna and breathe and try not to jerk off to documentaries on Netflix

when the kids are home, and do what I do. But just know that we're designed for war, and that if you just take a step back and say you're probably getting galvanized on social media, things probably aren't affecting you the way they are. You really, and here's the truth. Crystal clear, you're, and, and, and here's, and here's the truth. Crystal clear. Oh, crystal clear. If you want to just be honest with yourselves and others, if you want to just be honest with yourself and just know this,

okay, this is not a tack cause I've done it too. I'm sure we've all done it in this room. If you want to be honest, you making whatever political post is probably not about the country, the candidacy, and the state of America. You know who it's about? You. You want the likes, you want the reposts, you want the engagement. It makes you feel good, it gets your endorphins going through the roof. But the truth is you probably really don't care about the issue as much as you think you do. You care about getting the message out for you. Because if you really just cared about the actual issue, then you would just silently vote for whomever you think you do, you care about getting the message out for you. Yeah. Cause if you really just cared about the actual issue, then you would just

silently vote for whomever you think is going to give you those issues that you want and stand for. You would just vote for that candidate. But the truth is it's about you. You like the way it feels. And if you just admit it, if you just admit it, you would not only set all of us free, you'd set yourself free. Okay.

And you know what? You're absolutely right. Yeah. I think the internet has made us so crazy. I was guilty of that. I fully realized. I went, the internet is just making everyone crazy. Yeah. And I'm out of here. I'm out of here. I'm just, it's just, it's rearranging people's brain chemistry and making everyone want attention instead of connection. Yeah. And you need to get connection. And that's why when you listen to the hyenas,

you feel connected to us because we love you and you love us because we're all American. We got two oceans on either side. One is called the Pacific, one is called the Atlantic, and it's got one purpose. Two oceans, one purpose. Keep us safe from who? Chinese.

And, oh yeah, yeah. The only ocean. From everybody. Yeah, from everybody. Because if you, here's the thing. For people who try to look me in the fucking eye and tell me Jesus Christ wasn't an American, all I point to is the geography of the United States. That's right. We are surrounded, the only country we are surrounded by two bodies of water,

to the right and left, to the north, we're a gay country, and to the south, a country that could be a problem, but they're not strong enough to attack us, so we are safe and secure. Yes. So name me one other country that Jesus blessed us, Jesus Christ blessed us, and he is in fact an American hero, and I know what he's doing at tomorrow's election. And he has kept us safe. So if you don't realize that, then just pull out a map, go on your phone and pull out a map or Google map of the United States, and you tell me who Jesus is favoring here. That's right. I mean, it would be nice if Flint had clean water and some of the infrastructure of America didn't look like a third world country and all the cities in Asia didn't look a lot better than ours and Rochester

Wasn't a fucking shithole like it's what it is and Albany and Poughkeepsie and all these places where you know at one point I will take you up to hill to yeah, yeah Yeah, make no mistake because he just doesn't there's only two oceans to me. It's the Atlantic and the Pacific I don't nobody cares about the Arctic Ocean, and I, and I don't give a fuck about the Kamala Ocean. How about the Mediterranean's pretty nice. That is nice. That's a nice one. That's a neutral, nice ocean.

But what I'm gonna do is I'm just gonna say that the Mediterranean's a part of the Atlantic. Yes, but what you're trying to say is, yes, it's America here. You can drive from state to state. You don't gotta worry about a country next door that doesn't speak the same language as you, invading you like what's going on in Ukraine can drive from state to state. You don't kind of worry about a country next door that doesn't speak the same language as you invading you like what's going on in Ukraine and Russia or

anything like that. Yeah. We don't have any other contiguous countries besides the gay one up top and a non threat from the bar. Right. And everybody else is behind water. So Smith, Watt, the bar that you are safe. Yeah, because Smith town water has your back. We make the best water. Make no mistake, United States shall not perish.

Abraham Lincoln shall not perish. Abraham Lincoln, who there's a lot of rumors now that he was a gay president. So he might have also liked the new Buttigieg. And it's just what it is. He would still get my vote because make no mistake, your sexuality does not sway me. I will only vote for you on if I agree with your policy. Focus, make no mistake, your sexuality does not sway me. I will only vote for you on if I agree with your policy. And the bottom line is I don't know either one

of their policies, so I'm just going to vote for Yanis. Hey, everybody. ChristieComedy.com. I got brand new material. I put out new material every Sunday at YouTube.com slash Christie Comedy. I call it this week's material. Put it out.

It's a mix of my jokes I'm working on for the week and a little bit of crowd work. But you could catch me November 15, 16, Wise Guys Comedy Club, Salt Lake City, Utah. Those shows are almost sold out, so get the Tickies. November 22, 23, Madison, Wisconsin, Comedy on State, also almost sold out, so get those Ticky Wickies. And then December 13 and 14, Phoenix, Arizona,

Stand Up Live, one of the best clubs in the country. And December 28th to the 31st, bringing in the new year in Miami, the Miami Improv. And then my special comes out on Hulu. February 21st, they have 12 comics every month. A new comic has got a special coming out on Hulu. They gave me Black History Month, so I appreciate that. What's up, everybody?

Yannis, you can come see me live in St. Louis, November 14th and 15th and 16th. You could see me in Portland, Maine, November 22nd, 23rd, Fort Worth, Texas, November 29th, Dallas, November 30th, then Milwaukee, December 6th, 7th, and then Bridgeport, Connecticut, December 13th and 14th, and then Austin, Texas. I'll be shooting my special at the Comedy Mothership December 20th and 21st, 22nd, Rochester, Chicago, Tempe.

Yeah, and it's just Springfield, Missouri. Just go to my fucking website,annis Papas comedy.com patreon.com slash history hyenas We're back Alright guys, welcome to the end of the episode This is what we do if you go to patreon.com slash history hyenas If you make a funny name or any name at all, we read them out loud Yannis, um, we willnis, we will pick the funniest names

and we will put them on the list. Now, if Giannis says that that's a chicken finger, that means that was a really good, simple one, but it did not necessarily make the list. If we say it's a Drexler, we are referring to Clyde Drexler, who was one of the great NBA players that unfortunately did play in the era of Michael Jordan, so he never got the shine he deserves because the you know, it's just so strong.

But then if we say on the list and you've made the list and then at the end of the reading aloud of the names, we will pick our winner, our PPW, our Pseudo Penis of the week, and you will just be crowned the PPW and we may or may not send you something. We'll send you a free t-shirt probably. It's probably at some point maybe we will but and if you are just here for the content regular name those are the straight to the backs. We'll say straight to the back now we do for these first couple of episodes we do have so many members that have signed up we're going to try to get to you all but if you are straight to the back we might may or may not read your name if you want a higher chance of getting your name read

aloud, then you got to make a funny name. Okay? So here we are. Here are the newest members of the matriarchy who went to patreon.com slash histriainas and signed up. Brandon Allen. Straight to the back. Christine. These are all assumed to be straight to the back. Pingu's lost negligent discharge. That's a Drexler. That's a Drexler. Wow, okay, that's good on the list. It's a Drexler, it's close. George, John Bankston, Abigail Smith, Sebastian Reese, then we have my dick may be small, my heart is big, cuz he... Jordan Corona, Chase Leppard, remember, he's been around a while. Then we got Richard Haas, then we got Cherry Pinstripes made me shoot glue twice.

It's a good one. It's a good one. Not on the list. Not on the list. Yeah. But it's good, though. Then we got Drexler. So Drexler.

Then we got this one. I don't know if it's straight to the back or it's a fun one. We have SSSS. So I don't know. We can't support that here. We can't support it. Some of that we can't support here. Some of you can't support. That one. You gotta push straight to the back quickly. Yeah, then we got associate professor groomer

Yeah chicken figure then we got I hate the feel of rubber now my glue gun leaks Menendez Roll out the catapult yeah Yeah. On to the list. On to the list. Sean Kiewietek, kind of Polish, Honest John, My Inward Please, Mark. We got the N-word, which we don't support. We don't support. Straight to the back. Straight to the back.

Quickly. Then we got Cash Now funding group. Then we have Aaron. Then we have Just A Skin Flute, too, with a boot in my poop chute. That's a, remember the throwback to all the skin flute ones. Yes, and we said there's just too many skin flutes Yeah, so I'll give you a nostalgic chicken finger. Yes, but with the skin flutes I mean we got too many skin flutes so many skin flutes. So we got Alexis Sanchez, Neo 92 Riccardi Steve Becker hails Dino Panopoulouis

Brian Mariano, then we got Cuzzies on their own when broke without going woke. Is that a list? That's a list. That's a list. Then we got Caitlin Parlamin, Spencer Dietz, then we got Kamala Harris' pseudo penis.

To chicken finger, to chicken finger. I think I'm putting it on the list now. It's a good, simple one. Okay, we got a list. Okay, you made it. Then we got John Smith, Michael Russo, then we got Joey Karate with a D's piece for an Eastern Heming.

It's gotta go on the list. On the list, okay. No, there's gonna be too many because they're all excited and they're back. Yeah, then we got Fat Tube Sock Mike. It's a chicken finger neck. Or a Drexler, actually. It's a Drexler, you're right. It's a chicken-finger neck. Or a Drexler, actually. It's a Drexler, you're right. It's a Drexler. Which means if it wasn't for the other ones, you'd be on the list. Exactly. Wilma Dickfit. Then we got Oscar Christopher Hill,

Eduardo Linares. Then we got Stiff Neck, Happy Goofy. It's a chicken figure okay James Nelson then this one I'm gonna read but we can't do it we can't take shots but I am just gonna read it in the it might have to get cackled it's what it is so we might have to cackle over that okay we got to just usher that one to the back yeah I'll show that kev cannon Adam Tate, Walker M, Joel Francis, Chrissy D's Pinstripe Two Piece Toot. Then we got Rip Drodson Sancho. Then we got Chrissy D, Chrissy D, oh,

oh, Chrissy D, dot dot dot, don't fuck this up again because I can't take another heartbreak. Chicken figure, chicken figure. Austrail Priest, Stephen L. This one I cannot read because you're disparaging my family. But I cannot read that. Can we calculate something here? Somebody wrote Jack. You're gonna have to remember to calculate that.

Remember to calculate this please. Oh my god. Can't do it, unfortunately. Okay. Usher that one quickly to the back. That's when you have security come out. Security comes out and us show that one quickly to the back. That's when you have security come out. Yeah, security comes out and ushers him straight to the back. So we do have security guards. We're getting them back. Ben

Hartman, Mitchell, Eller, Michael, Bowman, Tony B, trapped in Tim Dillon's rape, Tony B, trapped in Tim Dillon's rape dungeon. And there was a victim of a bad read and it's still going on the list. Yeah. Okay. went on the list, yeah. Okay, so we got Norm Gillen. Then we have Hooded Glue Guns, Sardine Fumes. Oh, it's a Drexler.

Drexler. Harry Fraudulent. Chickenfinger. Okay, Sabrina B. Bobby Puglisi. I used to shoot heroin. Now I shoot rope. Chickenfinger.

Shane Stavrone Jin Sung Hannah Davis Elijah white kid you know I mean name I think my mother has a thing for the Leroy's it's what it is not only did he throw back the not mean he remembered it's nostalgic it's going on the list going on the list for that for nostalgia then we got welcome that longshore coffee Dillon heist well longshore coffee you like longshore Coffee? Yeah, yeah, it's good. Then we got, I buy real estate,

but only if the neighborhood is white. Unfortunately, we don't. We have to usher that with security to the back. So what we'll do for names like that, we'll say security. Security. Security to the back. Santanisal. Then we have just Miss Giganski.

Miss Giganski? MR as just somebody's mother. Somebody's mother? Miss Giganski. Just MRS, just somebody's mother. Miss Giganski. Miss Giganski, you're a chicken finger. Tukey, then we have Vienno Russo, Joshua Ferrara, and then we have the freelance Jew. The freelance Jew's a chicken finger. Okay, okay. So here we go, Paul Rollinger, Ryan Sweeney,

Steven Roberts, then we have Let This Cute Toot with a boot inside Hyhuna glutes. Inside Hyhina glutes, Inside Hyhena Glutes, damn it. A victim of a bad read. I'll give him a chicken finger. It was good. I'm sorry about that. Yeah, Drexler. If you're ever a victim of a bad read, then just kind of dig down deeper, make another name, and you'll have a chance to get on the list a second time. That was a Drexler. Now I remember the chicken fingers for the simple one, so that's a Drexler. Got it. It's a good one. McCullman, Jake, Pete Ariballo, Nate, then we have Give

Character Piece a chance. That's a chicken figure. Oshkahn, Azharan, Kevin Barry, Lemon Sucker, 1945. That's security. That's security. Yeah. Security. Then we have Janine Hamad. Oh she looks cute. Janine Hamad. Then we have Dad's a Muzzy, Don't Fuck With Me, Kazi Wazzie. That is a Drexler, it's a good one though. Okay, then we have Winston Latance, then we have Jesse Posnacker. So I don't know, okay. Remy S. Blake,

then we have Homeless Pimps, Wooden Clogs, Chicken Finger, okay. Then we have Dan Potato Monkey with a Leroy Peace, McDonald. It's a Drexler, no! It's going on the list. List, wow. It's going on the list.

Then we have Tech Reifer, Talkie the Dum Dum, Mike, Gemma. Then we have Dougie, I'll Slap a Toot, Emhoff. Security. Then we have Chrissy's Krusty Belly Button Baby. And they spelled it B-A-B-I. B-A-B-I. So they're saying that they're the cum that's resting in my belly button.

Right, that's the Drex. Funny, it's great. It's great. Mike Ruiz, Todd. that's the Drax. Funny, it's great, it's great. Michael Ruiz, Todd, then we have Cindy Butkus, Ashley Scott, Robbie, Fart Hammer. Fart Hammer's a chicken, that's the definition of a chicken figure. Then we have the Wasted Hobo, Whale Shit, Jaya Kawa, Claudia Tissols, Smoothie Brain. Smoothie Brain chicken figure. Jaya Kawa, Claudia Tisols, Smoothie Brain. Smoothie Brain, chicken figure.

Gary Dickerhoof, Will Kozak, then we have Chris Cross to Stefan Toes. Wow. That's a good one. I mean for originality. Yeah. That's gotta go on the list for originality.

Yes. Yeah. Then we have Blizzy. You always got a problem with your feet. Yeah, I do have a problem with the feet. Then we have Blizzy gave me ED, babe, just suck it a little. OK, then we have Lemon Looche. It's a Drexler.

Lemon Looche easy. And then we have a security one that we have to cackle out. I will read it out loud for the room, but again, we don't condone it. Somebody just wrote. Security. Security. So we can leave that on the Patreon,

but we have to cack calculate that for the YouTube. Yeah, you gotta calculate. Yeah. Then we have, um, Cuz I'm Glad the Show is Back and Yanni Wasn't Recast as Black. What's going on with the list? I mean, it's good rhyme, good rhyme scheme, funny. Patrick Haig, Tommy Zaya. Okay.

Then we have Kristen McGee, Marcus Barmhire Stephen Hanks Anthony Bob Anthony Denton visual 2024 needs a situation Jaden Goodfellow Drew Smith And not dispatch my family that's at that's security. Yeah, so then we have sassy little fart chicken finger Little farts a good chicken finger. There's nothing like a sassy little fart. Then we have Tua Tunga Omihola. You guys throw it on the list.

On the list, yeah. Then we have The Boys Are Back in Town, Clayton Kudkus, Harry Junk, Riley Kenny, Sinclair, Hot and Hootie 212, Sam Ryan, Poet, Fumaritov Cocktail. I mean, what am I supposed to do? Yeah. You gotta get the catapult out and put them on the list.

Put them on the list. Cody, Super Duper, Steven Valdario, Father Bill's Holy Water, which I think we've had before. We've had a lot of Father Bill's. But some of those Father Bill's, so here's the thing too with Father Bill, it's kind of like a joke about Asians are bad drivers. You can do it, but you have to come with something

that's so beyond original that it's really gonna be tough. So we encourage Father Bill, but you really gotta think. Were you there when they crucified my Lord? Okay, Large Rojo, Kevin Loonsberry, Tim Nye. Dude, sorry, you caught me up on that. Can't, we, security. You would be on the list if security didn't intervene. So sometimes what happens there is I'm reading it and I don't realize it's security and it

needs to be cackled until I'm through the read and that's actually a good one. That's a really good one. It was about to get catapulted until, you know what happened? Homeland Security came in and got rid of it. So we got Ian King, Matt De Niro, Chris Diddy, and Yanni Bottoms. That's going on the list. It's a chicken figure that's going on the list.

I apologize. What am I supposed to do? It's gotta put on the list. Here we go. Leonati, Fella, Katani, Futani, I don't know. Andres Aguilar. Then we got Buffalo Bill, the $3 bill who cracked open Father Bill.

That's what I'm talking about. If you're gonna come, you gotta come like that. It's going on the list. What am I supposed to do here? We're gonna have to do a lot. We're gonna have a lot. Hazel61, Benji, then we have Walsh, Isitut, who tickled my shoot,

and Kamala Harris has Fumare. Drekzler. Okay, Drekzler. Marcus Escamilla, Patrick, Philip Gautier, Father Waltz, Eric Schomblaser, Brendan Wilms, Steve Dave, Tyler Melink, HH Woke Up The Boys I'm Hard. Chicken Finger. Paulie Backshots, it's a good Chicken Finger.

Alex Panaguia, Zane Tibbets, Potato Monkey from Pittsburgh looking to shoot his glue gun. Chicken Finger. Garrett Bitterling, Jose Aguilera, G-Muns, Cisco Kid, Tanner, Aaron, Doctor Bathroom MD. Chicken finger. William Schweizal. Again, I'm gonna read this one out loud,

but this is dispatching the family, so we don't encourage this, but this one is. Not good. That's security. Security, yeah. We'll see. We gotta tackle it. Yep, then we got Chrissy D. Left the HHP to go be PC on TV but ran back to Yanni P to smell the Fomari. It's what it is. It's going on the list. It's what it is. Then we got Half Wap Quarter Persian 100%

fumes. Drexler. Wow. Okay. Yeah. Just a victim of the one before. Yeah. Just victim of the other ones. Drunk Uncle, Tyler Bessie, Nicholas Gulley, Nantut, Nova Castrian, Unnotice. Ooh, Unnotice. Unnotice, I like that. Unnotice boys. Andy Hickman, David Jimenez.

Wool, I don't know about that, dude. OK. Rohit Singh, Abhinie Haaf, Dylan, Max Arbo, Kamala's glue gun leans to the right. Drexler. Drexler. Robert Shtick, Father Bill's backboard. It's coming good. It's coming good, but yeah, Father, it's inventive. Father Bill's backboard. I'm putting it on the list because it's inventive. Yeah. Okay. then we got some white guys Puerto Rican situation someday. And it's a Latino woman.

Drexler. Drexler, OK. Mazoc Momin, Matthew T. Cox, Nick is Franks and Beans with a side of white rice. Drexler, Drexler. Jessica Bosco. Then we got Rowdy Rough Boy. Then we got hashtag Trump2024, Bushy, Y Yanis, and Chrissy the Little Stinker 2028.

That's a Drexler. Gustavo Gluegun, Big C Money, Zack, Patrick Murray, Steady Eddie Glean, Tip Top Magoo, Jessica Romeo, Jake Cassati. Then we got Gianni Luciani put his piece inside of Yanni Weishantjian. What do you think? It's up to you. I can't make this call. This is you. It's just Draxler because there's too many good ones. It's a funny one.

Then we got a piece of ravioli pizza. Okay. It's a Draxler. Again, this one I'm going to read out loud. This will be cackled. Cannot be on the YouTube. Then we got Nick. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That's a definition of a chicken finger. Right. Then we got Jowell Goncleves, Reed Weiss. Then we got Amazee Stuck My Cousy and Made Me Fuzzy. It's a Drexler. Okay. Then we got CPR, Chris G, Pseudo Cyclops Swing and Stick.

It's a Drexler. Okay. Then we got Connor Carroza, Fumariana Grande. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. That's a PPW nominee. Yeah, yeah.

So that's on the list. Fumariana Grande. Fumariana Grande, yeah. Yeah, and now I can see their emails. That's from Justin Chambers. So good job. Good job. Inventive.

Then we got Mikey taking me to Poughkeepsie cause I'm on the Spectrum-O. He went for it. It's Drexler, yeah. That's very unfortunate because you're coming right after Fuma-Ariana Grande, which feels like the winner and that's just unfortunate timing. Yeah, it's unfortunate, but it's a good one. Jake Warzniak, Jake H, Chad Brown, Cam, Connor Sturgle. Then we got Johnny the Greek Squeak, Pupice.

Then we got Your Dad Owe Me Money. Chicken Finger. Then we got Gung Gung. Then we got HH Fag. Oh, sorry, you caught me on that one. I didn't realize that. Yeah, sorry. Security.

Then we got Tony Hyhenes, Make Me Pee-wing in a different way. Wow, that's Drexler, it's a good one. Raymond Yolfo, Aaron H, Jose Merlo, Cody West, Gabriel Kundern, Moller, Sam Otis, Andrew Abraham, Andrew Tashara. Okay, so we're only gonna read a few more of these, and then we'll remember where we left off.

Left off, and we're gonna try to, you know, this is not yours, we're gonna try, we're gonna do what we can. Yeah, we'll get to you. Keep writing the names. Alexis Bender, Patrick Minogue, Sean Dolman, Yanni Cyclopop, Yanni Cyclopoulos-Popis. Okay.

That's a Drexler and a chicken finger. Yeah. Then we got Chris Liming, Sal. Then we got shout out Patrick Mahomes. Then we got the dog that bit Whitney. You know that story? Did Whitney Cummings get bit by a dog? Yeah, I broke up a dog fight at her house.

The dog bit her and bit the other dog and I broke up the dog fight. It bit her heart too, right? Yeah, I'm going to have to go for the inventive. I'm going to have to put that on the list. It's just very funny. Inventive. We got C, Traponski, Leo Dorfman. Then we got Chris, it's father Bill, call me back.

That's inventive. No one's ever done that. Nicole Rosales, Brian Cox, Tommy Tuts, Milk with Dinner and You'll Never Be Thinner. John Hoffman, Alyssa, Jack I, J-Fi, Ludie Dietrich, The Tiny Man, BB Nae Nae's Fupa. Drexler, maybe Laffdow. Tyler Sinkowicz. Then we got Tony Crack Me Open and Fill Me Up like, hold on, Crack Me Open and, okay, yeah, this one is Tony Crack Me Open

and Fill Me Up like a goth pog carfano. Too wordy, too wordy, but good. Then we got Willie, got a nah mean Tim Duncan, my spleen doesn't know I have a right lean, lot of 14. What am I supposed to do, cuz? That's a contender. That's a contender. He's worked a lot of things in there.

Okay, here we go. Tongue punching turd cutter since 04. On the list, what am I supposed to do? On the list, okay, okay, okay. All right, so then we got Hyena Humpher. Chicken Finger. Tara, John Beeve, Gunnar Galsuka, then we got Kamala's yeast infection. So Kamala's yeast infection, Cinnabunny.

It's gotta go on the list, what am I supposed to do? Ryan Molder, the Boulder. then we got German Jew Bagel. That's a Drexler. It's a Drexler? That's a strong Drexler. Okay, and then we got Britney M. Hall, and then we got Maya, Soul Bleeds, Red, White and Blue Chew. That's a good one, it's a Drexler.

It's a Drexler, okay, so those are the names, so let me just go back here and read the list. So we got, oh shit, unfortunately, here's the first mistake we made. And we'll do better next time. I'm sorry. When I was checking off the boxes on each one, and then when you go back, it unchecks the boxes.

So what I'm going to do though, I have them here though. So we got Pingu's lost negligent discharge. OK. OK. And then we have, OK, Fat Tube Sock tube sock mic. Um, I mean, you know, we fucked up. Should we forget? I mean, it's full mariana grande is the winner. Mariana grande seems like it, you're the PPW combination of chicken finger with a, uh, just, uh, on the list. But they were all good. Unfortunately, you could have, if we remembered where they were,

you could have put up a stronger contention, but the ones we laughed at, that's what you guys knew it for. So congratulations from Ariana Grande. Congratulations from Ariana Grande. Email us. What is the email at brb.patreon.gmail.com? That's right. Email us and maybe give us your address or something.

Or maybe you can. Oh, no. What we used to do for the PPW of the week, we'd let them zoom in to an episode on a Patreon. So we could to do for the PPW of the week, we'd let them zoom in to an episode on a Patreon. So we could do that for the PPW. If you win PPW, you can come live on the show over Zoom. Ooh, I like it. Like that, this way we don't have to mail shit.

Because we still are screwed and we're still trying to build our infrastructure. We're building our infrastructure. We don't have the money for stamps yet. Yeah, we're building our infrastructure and thanks, thanks, we're here. Yeah, I mean the new name of this podcast is Are You Island of Garbage?

Yeah. We are now the Herstory Hyenas. We're the Herstory Hyenas and we are, make no mistake, the Menendez sisters. That's right. Don't forget that one.