History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - Taking a bite out of Ireland | History Hyenas

Episode Date: July 23, 2026

Chris is back from a week in Ireland, so the Hyenas are diving headfirst into the Emerald Isle. 🇮🇪 The boys break down Ireland's incredible history—from Celtic tribes and Viking raids to English rule, the Great Famine, the Easter Rising, The Troubles, and the road to modern Ireland. Along the way, Chris shares stories from an unforgettable Irish wedding, the pubs, the people, and everything he experienced on the trip. It's history, comedy, and absolute chaos—the way only the Hyenas can do it. 👍 Like, subscribe, and let us know what country the Hyenas should tackle next! #HistoryHyenas #Ireland #IrishHistory #TheTroubles #GreatFamine #EasterRising #HistoryPodcast #YannisPappas #ChrisDistefano #ComedyPodcast Support our sponsors: Remember to head to https://zbiotics.com/HYENAS and use the code HYENAS at checkout for 15% off. Try QUO for free PLUS get 20% off your first 6 months when you go to https://quo.com/HYENAS. Right now, when you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third for FREE with promo code HYENAS. 3 Million Butts Love TUSHY. Get 10% off TUSHY with the code HYENAS at https://hellotushy.com/HYENAS Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas/ Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit.ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0 Hyenas Merch!!! https://store.historyhyenaspod.com Follow us Cuz! 🙆🏻‍♂️ Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ 🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ 🐕More Hyenas Website: www.historyhyenasisback.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/historyhyenas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HistoryHyenas Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/historyhyenaspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Order it today with free shipping and try it out for 30 days. You can return it for free if you don't like it with their sleep trial. Visit www.sleep.m.me slash hyenas and never wake up hot and tired again. Guys, got some live stand-up going on. Go to Chris D.comedy. August 21st, 22nd. I'm in Portland, Maine at the Empire Comedy Club in October 23rd, 24th,

coming back to Levittown, Long Island Governor's Comedy Club, ChrisD Comedy.com. Yo, see me in Philadelphia, August 14th and 15th at the punchline. Then Austin at the Comedy Mothership, August 21st and 23rd. And then Batavia, Illinois,

Chicago, October 8th, and 10th. tickets, Janice Pappas, Comedy.com. This is a fun one, and our Patreon this week, our bonus episode was wild. Enjoy them both. What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of History Hyenas. Today we're going to be celebrating the Irish. I went to Ireland.

We talked all about it at patreon.com slash history hyenas. is if you really, really want to laugh and go wild, go to the Patreon and listen to that episode all about me being in Ireland, and I had an Irish hat, and I will ask you to please, if you're going to listen to that at work, listen to that on low volume

or with headphones in, because you will absolutely be fired from your desk if you laugh at some of the jokes that we made. It was a wild one. It was one of the funest patrons we had. I suggest, listen, there's too many ads out there. Just join patreon.com slash history hyenas.

That's what I say. That yes, I'm pitching you. Yes, we make money on it. You know what it is? Yeah, just, we're not socialist yet. Please, please, please just go to patreon.com slash history hyenas because we really just are having a good time over there. It's ad-free.

How many times, I mean, here you listen to us here, sure, but it's like then you got to hear a fucking, you know, all about quo and quince, which is a good company. Yeah. And Bluetooth. Over there, you don't got to hear any of it. You just hear us saying things that we cannot say on YouTube because we'll get to monetize and it's ad-free. And it's just fun.

And to be honest with you, we do that episode first. So we just give our best shit there. Because we're both kind of exhausted now, and I really just want to go eat pasta. Yeah, Chrissy was just over in Ireland, as you will learn all about on the bonus episode, like we just said. So today we're going to be talking about the Irish. And then from there, you know, we're basically Christopher Columbus. We are. We get in the boat.

We have a destination. but we're trying to go to India but we will end up somehow in the Americans It's what it is and I'm going to be honest with you Okay, I've had four coffees My glucose monitor is going off My glucose is through the roof right now So I'm not feeling great

So we might just do 20 minutes To start reading off these fucking Patreon names Because we know that's your favorite part anyway Okay? It's reading off the Patreon names at the end You scumbags! It is a fun fun part of the show I want to go to Paros

in Tribeca again I want to go to Pyros the Island. I want to go to Pados the island, and I want to go to Pados in Tribeca, and I want to just be getting apparel spritz in my ass, get some calamari, and... Latif 14. Because make no mistake. And we get, and for our tackle all that in case they listen to the show, which they probably do. And we just make no mistake. We are just two guys, and I understand why we're just friendlier with the retarded ones.

Just even in this podcast. Even in this podcast business, they're successful. It just says hi and buy it. And then there's... Gackle it all. And that's just who we are because make no mistake,

even though I don't have a brother, I would be the fat retard of my family. And Janus is the fat retard of his family and he has a brother at special needs. Yeah. It's what it is. I mean, look at us. Look at this crew we got.

Yeah, we definitely... I mean, look at... Yeah. We definitely... We definitely didn't make our crew win a competition of merit. I mean, guys make no mistake. They've been telling us and telling us that what you really need is like an autistic Asian kid to run the podcast. And we picked a 55-year-old sculptor and a fucking Spanish kid who wears cargo shorts.

We said, let's give them money to run the operation. Forget about the Chinese autistic kids that'll fucking make this thing go tenfold. You know what? Let's deploy Jesse's sculptor. Nick the stick. Ladder 14. It's just what it is because we're a little thing called a fat retard. You and I are.

We're the lesser brothers. We're the lesser brothers. Maybe I'll say it kinder like that. You and I are the lesser brothers. We're the lesser brothers. There's always a Brent Price. There's always a Gerald Wilkins. Yes.

And that's who we are. There's always just a Vinnie DiMaggio. Yeah. Did you know that there was, I think his name was Don. DiMaggio. We're the lesser brothers. There's always a Michelle Obama. There's always a Franks Stallone. Yeah. There's just

always a brother. Yeah, there's what's his face? Kevin James has a brother who doesn't even go by the last name James. I think it's like Gary Valentine. Yeah. There's just, that's just what we got. We're the lesser brothers. We're the lesser brothers. Our older brothers are big, big deals. Yeah, they're

big, big deals. Yeah. We're just the lesser brothers. It's what it is. It's okay. It's okay. And that's the way Ireland has always felt. They feel like the lesser brother, even though... Than England. And I love England. I plan to go there. Hopefully in February.

I'd like to do a run of shows in February and then go watch a Premier League soccer game in London. I'd like to see Arsenal play, even though I am a Sunderland fan, which I confirmed on the Patreon, and I'll tell you the reasons why over there. But I will tell you Ireland, and I'm going to tell you this right now. I have not been everywhere. I haven't even been close to as many nations as you have or as Jesse and Nick have. I will tell you, though, for me, traveling, Ireland. is the nicest country I've ever been to and I love Ireland. You've never

been to Ireland? You've never stepped foot in Ireland. Never been to Dublin. I've been to Dublin. I've been to Scotland not Ireland. Never been to Belfast. Never been to Limerick or County Mayor or Sligo? Never. Or Counting to Ron? Never. Never. Would you have it there? But the good thing about growing up in New York is... Jesus Mary and St. Peter! You go to some places and it's kind of just the same as the...

It's like I've never been to Uruguay, I've never been to Venezuela, but I've been to Miami, so I kind of have. Yeah, it's the same with me. I guess in a way, it's like, yeah, she's never been to Ireland, but you have been to Woodside Queens. Yeah, so it's kind of very similar. I mean, I grew up around Irish kids. Yeah. One of my closest friends was Irish. He had nine aunts. Yeah. Okay, there's no abortions. There's, there's, you just have babies. Well, that's the thing with the, with the Irish people, too, is they have a, they have a lot of unprotected sex. Yeah. And they banged out, bang him. They banged out banging. And his father just used to drink a 40 of Valentine. Yeah. And that's just what Dick did. And his name was.

Richard, but we called them dick. It's what it is. Ireland is a beautiful place. It's the amount of rain they get there. It's so green. I was there with an un- it was so hot. I mean, it was very, very hot. I mean, at one point, we were standing in a place where there was a lot of sun, and Jasmine started putting on sunblock, and I said, Jasmine,

give the sunblock to these pasty fox. They need it. You don't need it. You're Puerto Rican, your skin. Look at that. I mean, they were frying. Yeah. Now, I think you have a, like, 30% Irish, or 20%? My mom, listen, even though my mom, I'm mostly German. My mom does have natural red hair. Yeah. So she's got to be Irish. The only country in the world that has natural red hair.

Yeah. By the way, because I know that you're a guy like the women you like, the women you like you want to get off the island and you like women who don't look like Greek at all. There was a redheaded girl in Ireland. Except my wife. My wife's Greek. There was a redheaded girl that I was laughing because I know if you were seen her, you would have went like this. And your glasses would have been tilted and you would have been fogged. You know, like, you know, like, because I see you sometimes when you see like a real Scandinavian girl, you go like that. And you start looking up with the glasses and the glasses, they start to get tilted and he kind of starts looking like that with his hat. And I said, oh my God, even jazz was like, that might be one of the most beautiful men I've ever seen in my life. Yeah. I mean, natural red hair. Yeah, you can't take her to the beach, though.

Can't take her to the beach. I mean, big tits. You could have a good time with her indoors. Indoors. Yeah. Yes, yeah. So if she goes to the beach, you've got to cover her up like a muzzle. You got to really throw a tarp on her.

I know. That's the thing. The Muslims are on the beach in Ireland, but they're just the women. They're the Irish women. They're just the sun. It's funny. The pale people can't really enjoy the beach. And also the blacks can't enjoy the beach. You ever go to a, the, you ever go to the beach?

That's why being white like us. It's kind of a little thing called the Goldilocks zone. Ladd 14. Kind of just the perfect humans. Well, we're all kind of, Nick is also in the Goldilocks zone. The Goldilocks zone. We're not too white. We're not too black.

Yeah, we're just see the Goldilocks zone. Which is just the thing we got to say. I know some people might get offended by it, but it is just the truth. For the beach, it's the truth. When the Goldilocks out. Yeah, because have you ever gotten to the beach with a black guy? It looks like they're on safari. Yeah.

They have like a hat. They're wearing sweat pads. Yeah, because it's just, I get it. I get it. They just don't want to become charcoal. I get it. And the white people in Ireland, same thing. I mean, though the amount of sunblock these people were putting on was white.

I mean, clumps of it. They have to. Yeah, the sun could kill them. Yeah. Yeah, because they just don't get much sun up there. There's a lot of clouds. Clouds. A lot of clouds and a lot of Catholicism.

Catholicism and clouds, but I'll tell you what, man, if you, if you're into Catholicism and clouds, then Ireland's for you. Or if you just, if you're looking for a place to go, thing to do and, you know, and you've never been to Ireland, I would put it high up on that bucklist. I mean, we were on, we flew into Shannon our part, which is on the West Coast. And that's beautiful, I mean, that's the mythical place, the cliffs of Moore and, you know, the ring of Kerry driving around, how do we, bit of a drive over there. When it comes to fumes, you don't want to overlook the environment. I know we talk about a little region here on the face that maybe shows that there's no fumes. But I think the reason why a lot of the Northern Europeans have no fumes is because it's cool. There's not a lot of sweat in the crotch.

Nothing. Yeah, cackle all this. Oh, we can't say that. Yeah, cackle it all. It's fine, though. It's totally fine. Throw that on the Patreon. Just drop it in.

No, just cackle it. It's fine. If you want to hear it, you just go to the Patriot. It's what it is. Sometimes because I'm just in a wild mood. I've had three coffees. I got my glucose monitor going, and I had a ketone IQ.

Here's the new fun that we could do. You're fueled by substances. I'm fueled by substances, but now we have a fun new thing is we can check our, we get little alarms on the glucose. So let's just check what is our glucose? Not too bad.

It's 88 right now. Not bad. But we did have a big spike about an hour ago. What was it? That was because just the meal we had? You didn't need anything bad. Yeah, but the meal, but your boy?

But that's the thing with glucose is there's a range. You know, I popped up. Oh, I went down to 86. So that's not bad. No. That's not bad to be hovering around there. You want to be in a solid range of between 70 and 120. Yeah.

So not too bad. But the problem is with me is because I've been getting lightheadedness out of nowhere. So you want to stick this thing on my shoulder because he's like, you might have a little pre-diabetes where your glucose might be going too low. He said sometimes when I eat a black and white cookie, you got to think about like at a carnival. Yeah. When you hit it so high and it goes, ping. And it drops.

He said, that's what might be happening to you. But I think a lot of the mystery surrounding, this is my opinion, a lot of the mysteries surrounding your numbers and why things don't make sense because you're so healthy, you work out, you look so good, but then you got, you basically have the cholesterol of a 600-pound suburban white woman who's living with depression, who hates her husband, hates her life. Yeah. You, it doesn't make any sense. Nothing about you make sense. And I think it's because the doctors can't quantify or diagnose what the real problem is. Which is what? Your personality. It's what I think you just, I think you spike your own stress. And I think you're just on the go.

I think your system thinks that you're being attacked. You're in a war. I'm in a war. Yeah. So, but that's why one of the things that we scooped up, and I talked about this at patreon.com slash history hyenas, I had a shopping spree at the doctor's office this morning. The Lexapro might really help us out. Yeah.

Because he said, oh, maybe let's start off with some ashewaganda. And I said, how about I fucking kill you? Yeah. I want the Lexer pro. Let's go for the real deal. I'm not getting, I don't want anything I could buy. It's CBS. Yeah.

I'm not chewing on a root guy. No. Fucking numb me out. Okay. I don't want any of that Pakistani shit. Yeah. Give me the real deal shit. Give me Lexa Pro and he said, okay.

And then he took my blood pressure and it was through the roof. He said, we're going to start 15 milligrams. Yeah, you want uncut real stuff. I need the real shit and I'm going to snort it. Because you got to make it fun. I got to make it fun. And I got to get it into the jet stream, into the bloodstream. You got to, yeah.

I'm going to get some Lexer Pro. And then we'll see what happens. We'll see if I calm down. What we're going to find out is, how Lexus Pro mixes with steroids. Yes, how to mix the steroids. And what the good news is for me is, bless you, Nick, bless us all. The good news is for me, is for whatever reason for the last three months,

I haven't been able to get an erection anyway. So it doesn't matter if Lexer Pro makes me not go peeing. So something else has been pausing me to go peeingless. So Lexer Pro, it doesn't matter. So we take that side effect out of the equation. What's going on? I don't know, but I just case it. LexiPro doesn't affect the erections, though, but it may not.

numb out your tip. It may numb out the tip a little bit, which is fine. Which is fine because I don't need to feel anything in my tip when I'm getting pegged. That's right. It's just what it is. It's a good point. So for me, Lexapro, the big side effect with Lexopold, you get a numb tip of the penis. For me, doesn't matter

because you're getting pegged. So I felt like I was a good candidate to be a Lexaport. Yeah, it's a little space. It's just a little space. Yeah. The little space. It's what we call a restraining order against ourselves. Yeah, because I said I met this doctor for the first time and in the first five minutes when we were talking, you didn't really know me. And he said, I don't think we need to jump to medication yet, Stuxa Mastriconda, whatever. And then 30 minute after the 30 minute meeting, he had me in 15 milligrams. He said, you know what, you've convinced me in the short span.

Let's throw it on. Let's throw it on for the kid. A little space. Well, 15, that's what they call, that's what they call a medicinal dose. Yeah. That's what we call a dose appropriate for a man of your side. He said to me, he said to me, when I was leaving, he was like, you know, he's like, I, you know, we're going to get everything taken care of. Don't worry. He goes, and he said, I got to be honest, you're a very fun patient. So I think, I think they look at a guy like me and say, this kid's fun. Yeah, he's a fun kid.

Yeah. So 15, from 15, you can go up or you can go down. So we'll see. Right in the middle. Right in the middle, but it's fun. I got a big butt. So I need to just pump it with Lexa problem. You got a lot of meat on you.

Yeah. Now, the Irish are good people. The Irish are good people. And I'm excited to learn about. You grew up around a lot of Irish. I mean, because, I mean, you know, Patty Fly Balls, all these. kids, Irish kids. I grew up, I grew up on the Irish. Shout out O'Neill's pub and Maspeth. Yeah, the Irish. The Irish, the Irish, the Germans, in Italian. We have fun together.

And the Jews kind of meshed up a little bit, but the Jews not so much in Ridgewood. The Jews not in Ridgewood. It was Germans, but a lot of Irish. And yeah, I mean, look, you know, Christianity is big. But the thing is too, you know, them speaking Gaelic. Like, when you go to, you know, when I flew into the airport, you know, when I flew into the airport, everything is in Gaelic first and then English. So Gaelic is, and then, you know, at the hurling match, you had some people speaking Gaelic. I mean, Gaelic is a wild language. I mean, It is. It's one of the hardest languages to learn or speak. Yeah. So, and, you know, these people, that was their native language, the Celts. The Celts. And that, you know, and then Christianity came. So, you know, first it was hunter gatherers. You know, everyone was just getting potatoes out there, having a good time. Then 4,000 BC, the farming community started to come. You know, all the, you know, Stonehenge type people, even though that's in England, it was all Celtic stuff. Then Celtic Ireland, this is where, like, Ireland really becomes Ireland. That's 500 years, 400 to 500 AD, 500 years after Christ,

the Celtic-speaking peoples gradually become dominant. Ireland divided into many small kingdoms. The druids, that was big. They were the priest, the judges, the scholars. That was like the high-ranking people. Like, you had the Celtics, and then the druids were the guys in charge. But unlike Britain, Ireland was never conquered by the Roman Empire, although a traitor with Rome because it was really hard to subdue these Mick Fuchs.

Really? These fire crotches were hard to tame. I mean, they're fun people. And make no mistake, Irish men are strong. You cannot put them down. They are strong, strong, strong. They can take a beating, but they won't get knocked out. Well, they are because they're literally 10 out of 10 drunk most of the day. Most of the day, yeah.

And they just got that potato diet just makes you a just a brick shit house. Now, let me tell you, we will get to it in the history, but I do. I was learning a little bit. I mean, the English were scumbags to them. The English were scumbags to the Irish, especially during the potato famine. I mean, the English fucking scum. Yeah, we're talking about the Anglo-Saxon tribes. Yeah.

That's where it started. They went over there and they tossed them around a little bit. They gave them a little beating. Yeah. They gave them a little beating. Yeah, Jesse, if you could just go back to that chat GPT thing. Yeah. Yeah. Don't take our trading wheels away.

Yeah. Now, Ireland, you know, St. Patrick, you know, we know the story. He was a British kid, but he brought Christianity. That's really how Christianity got to Ireland with St. Patrick. And it was a British kid. And we rewarded him by getting fucking plastered and peeing on the street. what it is. He was an English kid, a kid from England. You know, and Irish monks, you know, preserved everything, the classical learning during Europe's early Middle Ages.

And in a big part of Ireland, because I went to a castle over there in Limerick, St. John's Castle, the Vikings. The Vikings are a humongous part of Irish. They took a bite out of Ireland as well. Big. That's why you have some beautiful blonde, blue hair and Irish girls, even some of the red hair. That's a Viking. That's a Viking Danish blood. Yeah, what they did was they went over there. and they did a little pillaging, they did a little raping. But then they settled down.

Everyone settles down. That's what it is. I'm tired of giving you a beat and I just want to settle down. The biggest cities in Ireland, Dublin, Kark, Limerick, Wachford, and Wexford. Viking cities, Viking strongholds, they would raid all the settlements. In 1014, Irish High King, Brian Burru, defeated a Viking-led coalition at the bottle of Klontarf, reducing Viking political power. And then the big, big thing, the Norman invasion of 1169, Anglo-Norman Knights,

The Anglo-Norman Knights invading Ireland, 1169, that would be like English French nights, right? Anglo-Axon, Anglo is English, and then the Normans was like, that was France, wasn't it? These were all Germanic tribes, like genetically, it was just tribal. Europe was tribal. So they were just tribes in different areas, so genetically they just kept walking and they separated from each other. And then they met back up to kill each other. That's what it is. It's kind of just the human story.

But 1169 is when, you know, when they invade Ireland. because before then the Vikings are there, but it's mostly Celtic, you know, scattered clans or whatever, but it's England's King Henry II. He's the one that put the authority over Ireland, and that was the one that began really the feud here, is where he just treated them like slaves. Yeah.

He really was not nice to them. You know, over time, a lot of the settlers, the Norman settlers, they adopted the Irish customs, while English control shrank largely to an area around Dublin known as the Pale. So there was, they would fight back a little bit. England, that's the thing with England. in Ireland is they had centuries of subduing them and the Irish

would just, you know, fight their way out. They just, yeah, they eventually look, they're independent. I mean, they did never stop fighting. They just didn't want, they wanted to, they wanted to get the yoke off. That's what it is. They just not, there are people that likes to be free. I love the Irish people. I love the Irish people.

So Henry the 8th, fat fuck Henry the 8th. That kid. They said he his leg, the sores on his legs smelled. I mean, he was, he was a real fat bastard. He's a real fat fuck. So, Probably a fun guy, though. A little bit like an evil guy. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. But he declared himself King of Ireland in 1541, so that's the first time that happened. Then the Tudor conquest. Then they had plantations in Ulster, which I believe is like Northern Ireland. They settled English and Scottish Protestants on confiscated Irish land. So Scotland was, you know, siding with England during this time. I guess in some ways they still do because that's the UK, but Ireland is separate. Oliver Cromwell

He came around He took a bite out of Ireland He took a bite out of Ireland And Ireland's a cookie It's a black and white cookie And mostly a white cookie Yeah And a lot of people came and took a bite out of it

I like Oliver Cromwell Because I don't know much about him And he's just a guy with a regular first and last name It's not King Henry the 8th He's not sir this He's like my name's Oliver Cromwell Yeah it's like Stephen Williams came along Yeah

Was he the king Oliver Cromwell I don't know anything about Oliver Cromwell I don't know much about Oliver Cromwell We got to learn Can we do an episode about Oliver Cromwell? about Oliver Cromwell? I think he was, I think he was a ruler of some sort, and he definitely took, all I know is he took a bite out of Ireland. But Oliver Cromwell, I know he's like a big, big part of like Irish shit. I mean, he really was, he was a British kid. These British kids were

pieces of shit to the Irish. Well, the British, you know, the angles and the Saxons, they were, you know, basically the British may are angles and Saxons combined, these two German tribes, and they were just a little bit more violent. They didn't know how to chill out. It's what it is. Yeah. See, here's the kid Oliver Cromwell. He was an English statesman. Okay. He looks like a dick. He looks like Tony Hinchcliffe. Also, this is interesting. Yes, he does. He doesn't look like him a little bit? He executed. He was part of the execution of King Charles and he abolished the monarchy and ruled the British Isles as Lord Protector. Interesting. Yeah. Interesting. Some view him as a champion of parliamentary democracy and others as a ruthless military dictator. So that's interesting. So he got rid of the monarchy. Yeah. And then he ruled. He led the parliamentary forces called the Roundheads during the English Civil Wars. He defeated King Charles I.

He established the Commonwealth of England. And then he got to work on Ireland. It's just what it is. He arrived in Ireland in 1649 to crush a coalition of Irish Catholics, royalists, and Confederate forces. And the siege of drugheada in 1649 after the town refused to surrender Cromwell's forces stormed it and killed much of the defending garrison. Many civilians and Catholic clergy also died.

He did not spare the clergy. Even by the standards of 17th century siege warfare, the killings became infamous. So this is what really was a big part of the feud. And then he also had a siege at Wexford same year. And a lot of civilian casualties. Wow. And they burnt down the town.

And look at this for, see, because this kid Oliver Cromwell had an issue with certain people, he granted broad religious toleration to product. Protestant sex and readmitted Jews to England. So that's one, Jesse's saying that's one for the good guys. One for the goodies. So he strictly banned Catholicism. So I don't like that.

So that's why he hated Ireland. This kid did not like the Catholics. Well, now it's coming. So that he was like the reason, he's what started this fucking problem with the Protestants and Catholic. Why didn't this kid Cromwell like the Catholics? What do we do to you, guy? Because they just, they don't want to have nothing to do with the Catholic Church.

They don't want to do nothing to do with the authority of Catholic Church. But what is the real difference between Protestants? Catholics. What is the big thing? One says, Mary, go directly to God, and Martin Luther hated Jews. It's just what he did, right? That's Martin Luther from the 15th century and Martin Luther King.

Well, the original Martin Luther, but let's be honest, Martin Luther King probably hated Jews too. I think he was more tolerant of Jews because a lot of Jews were marching with him and stuff. But the original Martin Luther, who's responsible for the Protestant Reformation, really hated Jews. Right. He was big on Jews and he hated Catholics.

He said, hey, all you need is a Bible. You don't need this whole structure. You don't need the church. You don't need all this stuff. Right. So that's basically he could. So Martin Luther would look at somebody like my mom who's like, you got to go to church. You're going to go to hell if you don't go to church.

It's like, lady, what are you doing? All you need is to read the Bible and have your own relationship with God. That's what he would say to your mom. And then he turned to Jesse and go, you leave. He would say, put him on the steak. Way some cheat. He did just for some reason just did not like Jews. So, okay.

So I'd like to do an episode on Oliver Cromwell and Martin Luther. I really like to go deep on Martin Luther. We'll do that. We probably already did an episode on Martin Luther. We'll do it again. We'll do it again. I don't think we ever did. To be honest with you, I don't remember us ever doing one of them. Shout out, I want to shout out Eric Bernal from Phoenix, great comic.

He's been a fan of the hyenas from the beginning. He had a good idea. He was like, look, it's been long enough. A lot of your fans, even if, you know, they're fans from the original from the beginning of the First Reich. He was like, you should just redo some of your bangers. Like, just like we do in stand-up. Well, we're going to end up doing that anyway because we don't remember.

Like, he was like, just do another episode on Pearl Harbor. Yeah. Just do it again. Yeah, yeah. Cousie, let me tell you right now, all right, I'm not a young guy anymore. Right. So every time I drink, I need Z biotics. Because I just told you I did a wedding in Ireland.

Thank God I had the Z biotics pre-alcohol probiotic drink with me. I did not. I had so much alcohol. It's crazy. I did not get a hangover. Yeah, all you got to do is really pregame with this. And then you want. be as banged up afterwards. It was invented by PhD scientists to tackle rough mornings after

drinking. Here's how it works. When you drink, alcohol gets converted into a toxic byproduct in the gut. It builds up this byproduct, not dehydration. That's to blame for rough days after drinking. Right. Dude, it's every time I have these pre-alcohol, the pre-alcohol before the zbiotics drinks, basically, I noticed the difference the next day. I really do because it's, guy, the thing is, it's not one of these placebo, it's science. They're talking, they're getting down to the gut. It's one of the good things about living in the modern era is, you know, you can kind of mitigate the downside of boozin. And you do it with Z biotics. And here's the thing, drink that pre-alcohol before you go out and wake up ready for whatever Sunday brings. Remember to head to zbiotics.com

slash hyenas and use the code hyenas at checkout for 15% off. That's Z-Biotics. B-I-O-T-I-C-S dot com slash hyenas. Use code hyenas. Check out for 15% off, Guy. Guy, running a business means you're always reachable until you're not. And the moment you miss that, call, text, follow-up, a competitor is the one that picks it up. That's why today's episode is brought to you by Quo, Q-U-O.

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Tell them where to get it because, listen, go quo. Money is on the line. Always say hello with Quo. Try Quo, Q-U-O for free. Plus, get 20% off your first six months when you go to Quo.com slash hyenas. That's Q-U-O. dot com slash hyenas. But the conflict between the Protestants and Catholics, I think.

And we got to talk about the potato famine. I mean, the great famine was bad. Yeah, we talked to, you know, we already did an episode of the Protestant Catholics. But so it had, that beef had started before Cromwell. Cromwell just made it fucking worse. Right. So. Um, right. Jessica, if you go back to that, what you just had, right here, yeah.

So, so, um, the great famine, which was between 1845 and 1852, um, because of the potatoes. About one million people died and another million emigrated permanently changing Ireland's population and fueling anti-British sentiment because the, the British had potatoes and wouldn't give them in Ireland. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Can you, can you Google that, uh, put that up in, in chat, Jess?

Like, why? why, what did the British do to the potatoes that pissed off the Irish? And here's just a little interesting fact why you do. Ireland, including Northern Ireland. Is this an HHFOD? This is an HHFOD. I think the problem is Northern Ireland is, I think, a lot of Scottish and British Protestant settlers. Well, Northern Ireland is part of the United Kingdom.

Ireland is not. Yeah, so I think that part, because what England was doing was encouraging a lot of Scottish and British Protestants. to settle in Ireland. So I think, you know, because they were to Protestants, but the Irish were like fiercely Catholic. And here's an interesting thing. Ireland, including Northern Ireland, is only like 7 million people.

Right. But like 70 to 80 million people in the diaspora around the world claim Irish ancestry. So what that means is the Irish got to fucking once they left Ireland. What it is. Yeah, they really, the Catholics, they like to have kids. Yeah, it's what it is. So now, here's what it is.

I knew this. I had just forgotten it. The Irish potato famine, which you said, 1845 to 1852, the British government, who was ruling Ireland, continue to export massive amounts of grain, meat, and dairy out of Ireland to Britain while millions of Irish peasant starve. So they had the – that's the thing. Yeah, Ireland has had the food to feed their own citizens, but they were being told, being forced to send it to England. Yeah, it was basically – Ireland was like a plant – So they killed their own people.

It was like a plantation for – England. And Irish Catholics were denied land ownership and were forced to live as impoverished tenant farmers. That's why there are a lot of people in Ireland where I was, like in the, you know, Republic of Ireland, they can't imagine liking the English because of what they did to their ancestors. And Irish people who are like, no, we fuck with the English, like in Northern Ireland. That's really where it's, I get it from both sides. Because one side, the Northern Irish, you know, the Protestant people are saying like, yeah, but Britain has helped us a lot. And, you know, England has helped us a lot and giving us money and given us, you know, they've given us shelter.

But then the other people are saying, what are you talking about? They like took everything from us and killed our citizens. So I get it. I would have to think, though, because I'm Catholic, I would be, if I was alive during those times, I'd be more on the fuck the British side. Yeah. But I, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And, yeah, I think the Germans mostly Protestant, too.

Are they not? Germans are Protestant. No, you've got a lot of Catholic Germans, too, but I don't know what the majority are. Yeah, who knows? Yeah, shit, the Germans have different thing. The thing is, we don't deal with any of that because we're Orthodox. We don't deal with any of that. We stayed Orthodox since the beginning.

We don't deal with any of that. I don't deal with none at all. We don't got beef with nobody. So now, here's what happens. So you got the potato famine, 1845 to 1852, great famine. Of course, Irish are pissed, blah, blah, blah. Then you kind of have the beginnings of the troubles. 1916, you have the Eastern Rising in Dublin.

This is basically the war of independence. The Irish people are starting to say, we want to be free from Britain, the United Kingdom, led largely by Michael Collins and the IRA, the Irish Republican Army, Michael Collins. Great movie over there. I forgot the name of it, but I believe Liam Neeson plays Michael Collins. So then you have the Anglo-Irish Treaty, basically Anglo-English Irish Treaty, creates the Irish Free State. Six northeastern counties remain part of the United Kingdom in Northern Ireland. The treaty sparked the Irish Civil War from 1922 to 1923, kind of goes on like that, trouble brewing, trouble brewing,

but then the actual troubles from 1960s to 1998, it just boils over, baby. Northern Ireland experienced decades of sectarian conflict between unions, loyalists, Protestant. These are the people who are basically for the English side, who wanted to remain in the UK versus the nationalists and Republicans, mostly Catholic, the IRA, the Irish Republican army who wanted a united Ireland. They wanted the basically northern of Ireland say, forget about England. Let's just be one country. Forget about the UK. We will all just be Ireland. And people to this day still, they don't really, they don't segregate it. Like they start to say, they say we're all Ireland. Yeah. They don't really, we say Northern Ireland and

Republic of Ireland, but they're all Irish. Yeah, they kind of, 1998 is kind of when they officially put down their bayonets, right? Right. Yeah, well, that's what happened is you had the Good Friday Agreement, the conflict involved the IRA, who was mostly Catholic, loyalist, paramilitary groups, and British security forces, and 3,500 people were killed before the Good Friday Agreement in 1998, which kind of made a power share in government and greatly reduced the violence. They basically gave everybody a little bit of what they wanted and kept it up in. But now there, I think there was a bombing like a month ago or something happened like a month ago. Yeah.

Like so it's not, and when you go there, if I've been to Belfast, I think Belfast is a month. sea city. I think you should everybody on this planet if they have the means go see Belfast because it's one of the only cities you can see in Europe where like the people fighting the war like their civil wars are still walking around today I mean they're getting older but it's kind of like the Middle East for white people yeah that's what Belfast is what we need what we need it did it did they have a we are the world video that's what they needed they needed all their singers to get together and sing we are the world that's what I stopped the all their rappers to sing stop the

violence yeah so right now Ireland Republican of Ireland is one of Europe's wealthiest economies. There you go. Then Ireland joined what the EU in 1973. Northern Ireland remains part of the United Kingdom. No discussion about possible Irish reunification. Continued. Because in our lifetime we might see

all of Ireland unite. It's possible. That would be really nice, you know? That would be really nice or not. Yeah. Or if it happens, it'd be great for them. Or if not, you know, I'm you know what? I'm still getting ready. I'm still getting ready to go to the U.S.

open either way. Either way, because at the end of the day, let's be honest, it's nice to talk about history, it really is, and I love my Irish brothers and sisters, but like most of the other problems, like, you know, at the end of the day, I don't really give a fuck. Yeah, at the end of the day, it's like, do what's best for you? At the end of the day, for me, there's only one enemy, I have to fight and wake up

every day and fight and that Zoran Mamdani. We're focused on another front, on another war. You Protestants and Catholics, you just figure it out. It's all, everyone's intermingled at this point. Like, back in the day, I think it was a bigger deal if you were like, This is a Scottish settler or a British settler who's Protestant coming on my land.

I think now everybody's all mixed up and whatever. The Vikings at one point they're like, oh, they're invaders. And the next thing you know, some Viking marry some girl. Yeah, it's like at the end of the end of the end of the end of the day, mixed up, you're a mixed bag. At the end of the day, let's all just get along. Who gives a shit? You know, clean your own stoop. Take care of your own garden.

Yeah. And also everyone's just got to kind of accept their grape jeep. Everyone's just got a little bit of a grape jean somewhere. At the end of the day, Sunderland, till I die. Yeah. I mean, there's a reason why Nick looks like a mestizo and also a European conquistador. Right. Somewhere back in...

Little grape juice in there. There was a little non-consensual sex in his family line. What it is... Everyone's got a little non-consensual sex in their family line. It's what it is. And I'll tell you what, Ireland, though, they have been keeping it together. The town is beautiful. And the food.

People like to shit on the food in Ireland. Because shit. I'm telling you, guy. I'm telling you guy, I enjoy their food. What is their food? It's a... Chip. What I had is...

On a newspaper? I had fish. I had chips. Yeah. The food tastes good because you always wash it down with a little Guinness. Yeah, so I think that's the

Holy Trinity of their cuisine. Now, let me ask you this, because a lot of times alcohol, you know, there's beers and all that. I always get tired after a beer or two. Like, I have Asian genes. Like, I don't even know if I can metabolize alcohol. But Guinness was giving me energy.

I felt like I was drinking coffee. Is there something in Guinness that gives you energy? Yeah, it's supposed to have some iron in it. It's supposed to, like, be, if you have, like, if you have, like, heart issues, you're supposed to, for some reason drink Guinness is not as bad for you. Why does Guinness give me more energy?

Well, they say it has less calories than like milk than like light beers. It doesn't have less calories than a michelope light though. I don't. Or as I like to call lady beer. A lady beer. Do you like lady beers? Good, I have a, Guinness says to stimulate. As a central, Guinness acts as a central nervous depressant, okay?

Roasted barley and higher iron content give it temporary liquid bread energy boost. Got it. Woo. Got it. The idea of Guinness is a stimulant largely stems from historical myths. Okay. Yeah. Guinness does contain more B vitamins and iron than lighter loggers.

Yeah, so you get a little something. You get some iron in there. The Guinness effect, because it's nitrogenated, it creates a rich, creamy mouth feel that can trick the brain into feeling more satisfied or full than a standard carbonated beer. Yeah, because... Unfortunately, the Irish, their food is so bad that I think they do involve Guinness as a food group. They do. Yeah.

And it looks like a milkshake, so I was in. Yeah. I think they just go, yeah, I think for them it's like a smoothie. Cous, even though I have physical therapy, I do want to go to Ireland today? I do have a little time for Van Luin. You want to go to Van Lund or you want to go to Ireland? I'd like to go to Ireland. Let's go to Ireland.

You want to do a reverse commute from all the Irish that came during the potato famine and get on a ferry and just tell them to keep going to Ireland? Just get out there. I'll tell you what, because the flight out there was not bad. It was about five hours. The flight coming home was about six and a half. That wasn't bad. It's not bad. It's not bad.

I want to go. The next place before Ireland, though, I would like to go see Iceland. You want to go see Iceland? Iceland, right? To Reykavik? I want to move to Iceland. You've been there? I've been to the airport. I've been to the airport too. I've been to airport on my way to the other Scandinavian countries. Right. You always make it stop over and out. But Iceland from New York is only like a four-hour flight guy. It's a four-hour flight. It's about it. It's not bad. And you know if you look- And the ratio is like, I think, 10 girls to one guy. Which I think is what it currently is in the Ukraine.

Ladd 14. What it is. So you, when you look at even where the UK, even where England and Ireland are, they're so far north. I just thought they were like on the opposite side of us, but that's just a little deception by the map. They're across the ocean and north. They're like in line with Canada, these countries. Yeah, well. They're like big time. When you fly, when I flew back, you know, because I was watching the map the whole time, once you get over the Osh, they go in a straight line over the Osh, but we were in northern Canada.

And then it takes two hours, two and a half hours to come down. you know what's so interesting is Europe is actually much higher up. Yes. Than the United States. It's just that they get some warm. It's like warm for another reason because it's actually higher closer to the North Polo. Look, look, and then scroll over to the left. You see Ireland and Scotland, it's Canada.

Yeah. And Norway's even higher. Yeah. Look at, you could just, looking at that, you could just, there was just white people in boats just moving around there. It's just what it was. They just moved around there. And everywhere they went, they took a little bite.

When you look at a man, that's not snow, that's the people. Yeah, that's just, this is where white people kind of just, they moved around a bit. It's just what it is. They shuffled around white. It's just whites in and out. White's in and out. It was an in and out white burger guy. Yeah.

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It's amazing. I am telling you the truth. I have Tushy on every single one of my toilets. Yeah. It's just you have to have it. And you know what's crazy? It's guys like us who aren't handy. I installed my own Tushy.

They're so easy. Did you install it? Yeah, it's so easy. It's great. You just screw it into the water. You screw it and take out the tube. They give you a paper mounting plate where you just put it on that. It's literally the easiest thing ever.

Yeah. Dude, it's like you need to have a clean ass. Toilet paper just doesn't do the freaking job. What I like to do is I take a poop and then I flush it and then I let the tushy, I turn on the water and I let it hit my ass for another 90 seconds and then I wipe. Is that what you do? Exactly. Or do you wipe first and then hit the water?

No, no, no. I hit the water and sometimes I let it go for a little while because it feels good. It just feels good. And then I just, just a little piece of toilet paper and it just so easy to make sure there's nothing there and there's never anything there. Now they got Tushy eBadays, which have insulin. modernize your daily routine and bathroom. They got a heated seat, adjustable water temperature, and a powerful yet gentle dryer. Tushy bidetes easily attached to your existing toilet without the need for additional plumbing. E-Badays only require an outlet. That's it. Ooh, it's time. Yanni's

going to upgrade. Get a little e-betray because I got all the originals on mine. Yeah, I'm going to, because yeah, for me, the same thing. I have the original, but I love the, I mean, there's no reason to go out and buy a freaking expensive bidet. No, no. Put the tushy on your toilet. Put your, and this is so easy to put on any toilet. And it, Looks nice. Yeah. It's perfectly... And it prevents

micro tears in your ass with soothing water. Yeah. Instead of scratchy toilet paper or damaging wet wipes. I actually just recommend... And I've had my Tushy for years. They're well made. It's great. It's just, you know, everyone should have a bidet.

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Biday order when you use code hyenas at checkout. That's 10% off your first bidet order at hello tushy.com promo code hyenas. I'm going to use it and get one. It's what it is. And I watched on the plane ride home because I was just in a mood. I watched two kind of, I watched two love stories. You did. I was watching romance stories and even Jasmine looked over and she was like,

people definitely think you're gay with what you're watching. I like to watch those two. I watched two Rome. I watched one called Midwinter Break, which is about an older couple trying to find themselves. trying to find themselves. Yeah, midwinter break. Let's pull this one up.

I watched this one. Yep, this is what I watched. What was it? It was a drama film based on, you know, what's the synopsis? It was based on a 2017 novel. And I liked it. I liked that. And then I watched Solo Mio with Kevin James, which is about a guy who gets left at the altar.

Solo Mio. So you watch, oh, so Midwinter, is that a, that's a foreign movie? Midwinter break. I like to. I watch foreign movies and I watch solo. And I'll tell you what? Solo Mio was actually a really good movie and go to Solo Mio cast the woman in Solo Mio Who's his love interest Nicole Grimado is We should probably edit that part out

Just cackle that Just having a little fun just give him a little cackle Yeah, I mean she was beautiful and this movie was good and Andrea Boccelli is in it Did you see the? Did you see the Isles of Dover? What's Isles of Dover? I don't know it just seems like people say there's something on Dover with Ireland No, what is that? of Dover, the Isles of Dover, the cliffs of Dover. The cliffs of Dover.

I thought it was the cliffs of Moor. There's clips of Dover as well. Of Dover? No, I didn't see that. Of Dover. I spent most of, I spent almost the whole four days in a one mile radius. You did. Yeah, because...

So you didn't really see Ireland. You saw the wedding. I saw the wedding and I saw Limerick. I saw the town of Limerick and the town of Adair. Nice. So, but really, but we got there Friday and we didn't leave the... We didn't walk past the castle gates until Sunday. Do they have, like, apartment buildings there?

Is there a skyline? Or is it mostly everything looks like... Cottages. It's cottages, but in Limerick, there were some buildings. But Limerick, there's a lot of places in Limerick that are not good. Right. Like shitholes. Right.

Like dangerous crackheads. It's just, that is just a world problem now. Did you see any travelers? I didn't see any Irish travelers. No, I didn't see any like, they're like gypsies, right? We need to do an episode on the Irish travelers. That's fun. The way they do those boxing videos and promos and they fight, these families fight.

Yeah. Do you think that the Irish families settled disputes, fisted cuffs all the way back? where the father would just go, all right, you guys go outside and work this out with your, with your fists. Yeah. Because that's how the Irish do it. Yeah, the brothers have a fight. The father goes, all right, go outside. Put up your dukes.

Yeah. Tommy, you grab your gloves. Yeah. Ray, Ryan, you grab your arms. There was a fist fight at the wedding. I mean, I think that's just part of Irish cultures just getting to a fist fight. You just, fistfighting is just part of it. Yeah, can you scroll down? They call Limerick Stab City.

Woo. Yeah, because they have a lot of, because, you know, they don't call them projects there. They call them estates. They have estates. So they call them estates. That's the projects. Yeah, that's different than us, which is interesting because that's the reverse of us. Estates is nice here.

Also another thing that's reversed is the suburbs here we tend to think are nice, but in Europe, the suburbs are bad. Really? Yeah. Interesting. It's weird. It's like the reverse. So you don't want to live outside the city in Europe? You don't want to live outside the city.

Yeah, you don't want to live in Stockholm. You don't want to live in the walls kind of thing. The walls. That's what it is. You want to live within the walls. Yes. It is interesting that Ireland, was never, ever conquered by the Romans.

They couldn't get us. They took Christianity by choice. Right. With missionaries. Right. They were just like, we dig this. We spoke the good word. Yeah, and they just went with it.

Did you also know that New Grange? I want to go with you. Let's go. I want to go with you too. Yeah. Did you know that New Grange is older than Stonehenge and the pyramids? Yes, and New Grange is the Irish version of like the monolithic structures, right? Yeah, it was built around 3,200 BC and

Every winter solstice, the rising sun illuminates its inner chamber with astonishing precision. So these guys, whoever did this kind of new shit. So why do Stonehenge, why do they get all the press when it should be the Irish shit getting the press? It's just the way, it's just, you know, you got to have a good publicist. What still blows my mind, and I know we've brought it up every week for the past three weeks, but what still blows my mind is how Cleopatra was living in a time when they already had ancient Egyptian history. Yeah, it's crazy. It just made, it actually freed me for stuff something where it's like, how did that free you?

Because we're all just like a blip on the radar here. And like we're all just like, however big and grand you think your life is, it's just not. So be comfort and have some freedom and comfort in that where it's like whatever you're doing is okay. Even if you commit a heinous crime and you go to jail for the rest of your life, it's like you're going to die. We're all going to die. Nobody's going to remember us. Yeah. You know, the thing is we are a product of American conditioning.

Okay. We've been cut off from thousands of years of tradition and wisdom. Okay. Because when we were, our parents were immigrants here. So they came here, they started a new life, and they were here to like, they were just in survival mode. Okay. And then we were born and marketing and everything is just going, go, give famous, get to

go. Like, so we got attached to the material world probably a little bit more than we should. So, but now, but we can find ways to back out of it. You just have to know. You just have to get out of it. Yeah, yeah. But I think our worldview in a lot of ways is dominated by our environment and up. Where Europeans weren't, people in Ireland weren't as conditioned to that as we were as Americans.

I think, yeah, European people in other countries, you know, we, there's a lot of beneficial things to that. I mean, one of the beneficial things I think is sometimes culture can become a little bit of a crutch. Like the rules get a little too stringent. Right. You know? So I'm not trying to make this religious or anything. is just pointing out one of the big things that Jesus did was he was yelling at the Jews about how you guys are following the rules but you don't have it in your heart it's all hypocrisy it's all

right I think that happens right everything becomes prefront three no matter what right so that was a good thing about America as I think it was like people were like fuck the rules right I'm gonna be me I'm gonna you know do that was a good but the I think the bad part of it maybe is we got a little too attached to materialism to materialistic culture a material girl a material girl and we got a little to attach... We are a material girl! To American shampoo and conditioning. We did.

We got a little attached to accumulating shit. There's only... We're the only country in the world where a regular person can have a fucking mansion in North Carolina. Yeah, because in Ireland, like the guy that I met who owned the bar, we went to his house after

because that's what Irish people just always inviting you over. And he has a lot of money for, like millions of dollars, I would assume. But his house is very nice. Yeah. But it's not an estate. an American estate.

It's not, it's not, he doesn't have three acres. Yeah, it was very eye-opening to me when I spent a lot of time in Scandinavia, how like even Magnus Bettner, who I toured with, was like, a comic out there. One of the biggest there, and he lived in like an apartment. They don't look at it that way. And it was strange to me, because I'm going like, where's your... So nobody would go into Magnus' his apartment and say, you're not doing well.

They also never go like, what do you do? They never go like, what do you do? And also, the rest of them didn't look at him like he was special because he was a comedian. Right. He was just, like, it's just weird. It's almost, it's so weird. It just, it lets you know that we are just so, we're just conditioned to animals.

Well, that's why. It's not even a thing. But that's even that, within the conditioning, that's why I think the people who really set themselves free, if you can actually believe it, actually practice what you preach, and not care about what other people think of you, and you just live your life. But that goes against what America wants you to do. America wants you to impress everybody. So if you can find a way to say,

I'm just going to do what I think is good for me and my family, you'll be free. Well, I think it wasn't just, I think it was the industrial revolution where these, where it was just like, it created, and this is where socialism came out is because it just created, the industrial,

which is over, the industrial revolution is over. But it's like, there was like factory owners and like industrialists and then there was workers and they, you know, this was before technology. Now we have robots making a lot of,

It's like they needed output. Right. So they were just like, you know, you were just working. I mean, the seven-day work week, they gave us two days all. Like, it's like, that was created by that system going like, all right, let these guys sleep for a couple hours. Before that, everybody worked every day. Kind of like, yeah, went from the seven day to the six, the five day, and then they tried to. Now it's on the way to the four days.

Yeah, because things are changing. So things are changing. But, yeah, I mean, I think outside the mathematics of everything of like the universe and reality and everything, Truth is often subjective and conditional, I mean in contextual. And I think we spend so much time examining the world that we rarely examine the filter by which we see the world. Right. So I think that's how you kind of become aware of conditioning.

Because remember what we always say, nothing's actually happening to you. Your perception of what you think is happening to you is happening to you. Any response you want, anxiety depression. Unless someone's stabbing you into chest. Right. Unless you're in stab city limerick. Unless you get a blowjub, something's happening.

Anything, but it's just your feelings, it's all coming from within. You're in control, baby gorgeous. Yeah, I just think, I think it's just, it's, you know, I think that's the difference

between humans and animals is we can, we can examine the filter. Right. Because we are, the truth is contextual, right? And so we always examine outside of us,

but we rarely examine our filter. Right. We never clean the filter. We never go, to pull and clear, we got to clear the debris out of the filter. You got to clean your air conditioning filter. You got to clean your filter. You got to wash your ass.

Yeah, you got to wash your eyes. You got to clean your orifices. Now, guys... Orphuses have to... Wherever there's juice, you got to clean. Wherever it's a little wet, it's got to be clean. Your mouth, your ass, and your pee hole. You got to get clean.

You got to clean. Now, baby... Holes need cleaning. The only clean people that I ever see... And pieces need cleaning. The only clean people that I ever see out in the world or out in the internet. Are Muslims because they shower with... They washed their ass with water.

You got to give them credit where credits do. Yeah. When we were fucking rubbing leaves on our ass, they were splashing their asshole water. Yes. So they were walking around with crystal clear fucking halal asses. They had the cleanest hummus factories out of anybody. They really were cleaning their poop shoot before we were. Now, the other clean people I see are the people who went to patreon.com slash history hyenas

and have decided to join the matriarchy who have decided to get every episode ad-free, who have decided to get extra bonus content each week, who have decided to create funny Patreon names that we all laugh at and give a prize to at the end of every episode. I mean, I love and appreciate everyone who's a fan of this show, but really the family aspect of it. It's Patreon.com says history a in is not only a comedy website and a content website.

It's also a dating app. It's also, you know, we talk about loneliness, how that kills people. A lot of people on the internet. It's a community. You're not lonely if you're on Patreon. They have meetups and everything. Go join it.

Give it a shot. for a month. If you don't like it, then you can stop. There's no long-term commitments here. It's five bucks or ten bucks. Whatever you want to give us, Hunt. Yeah, and you get these two episodes. With no ads. No ads. How great is that? You don't have to deal with commercials. No censorship. And our weekly bonus episodes, probably our best episodes. So go over there and join, give a funny name.

Also, all those pictures they make on Instagram, those are the fans. Because I sometimes see people post like, who is making this? They're genius. It's the fans. And they're talking to each other in the And you're getting them exclusively from patreon.com says you're where they come from. All right. So here we go. The newest members of the matriarchy, Krister's Mr. Welcome.

Mud Puddle Cake, Freaky Shark, Oil Money House, call it a sandcastle. Put them on the list. There we go. That is very good. Very good. It was always there for the take. Nobody ever said it.

It was there in the world for the take. I've never heard it. Philip Ayer. Mexican Leroy, call me Cafe Conleche. Put them on the list. There it is. Okay. Yeah

Wow, coming out strong Yeah Watermelon Monkey Who knows Kung Fu Call me Bruce Leroy La 14 But it's him But it's him

But it's him But it's him Watermelon monkey Who knows Kung Fu So he's Paul Bruce Leroy I mean Just put him on the list

I mean it's him right Yeah He is a Leroy So he can do it Then we got He got Then we It's I

Wanan Peter Ruzers In Beijing Hurst Yeah I went to Peter Ruger Yeah Yeah Yeah I mean

It's just Beijing Hearst Yeah I mean Look Because Benzurst is mostly Chinese people now Yeah so

To explain to the people Not in New York How brilliant this is Benson and Hurs A traditionally Italian neighborhood Has now become Very Chinese Yeah

So instead of Benson Hirst He called it Beijing Hirst Yeah and he said I wanted Peter Ruggers Which is Peter Lugers The famous Brooklyn Steakhouse We're going a while today

And we're putting them... We're just... From now on, we're just putting you on the fucking list. So out of the first eight names, four have made the list. Yeah, what we're going to do from now on is like, if you walk in and what, you know what? We're going to ask for forgiveness later. Yeah, then we got a chick. She goes, I'm a naughty little Judin.

Plays hard to get in the diaries of Anne Spank. Way song she aims. Okay, almost. She's a naughty little juda. Yeah, she's a naughty little judy. Pocket cum. Okay. What's a pocket cum?

Maybe because last week when I said I'd, come in my pocket. Can we make that a clip, Nick? I did. Oh, you did? Oh, we didn't post it? Okay, we got to post that one. Yeah, we'll get to it. Rick DeVro, blind and deaf, stinking barn cat. Okay? What? I don't know. Tampa Tony fixed my leaky roof and now my basement's flooded. Okay. Cross my legs so I can sit on my balls. Drexler. Trans biker identifying as a pedestrian today. Okay. Josh Wilson. Lane. I have cash up and I'm not black.

Bukaki Backshot Banquet. Cemetery. Cipton Punch. Just funny. Danny G. Artan. Carbon dated my twin bed. Call it the shroud of urine. Put him on the list. Contender. Max Houston. For the last time, I'm not gay. It was one bro job. one bro job bro job

bro job oh nice whoa whoa whoa say it a blow job it's a bro job is a bro job a thing never heard it Nick have you heard of a bro job so it's unique enough

to we put them on the list okay it's unique bro job that's funny then we got mommy's little shoe sniffer chicken figure a good one Scott E

Hocus potis Trump's on fucking notice okay Jay Drexler Zay then we got went to Bangkok for a Trans am now live here as a trans man.

Okay. Okay. Recon Stallion. I can't believe Yanni P. Cream Pied me. Uh-oh. Anthony Ayella. Kim Wan-un. Mitchell.

King Juan Oon. Kim Juan Oun. Okay. Okay. Carlos Omerta. Fluctuate. Okay. Last 14.

Remember because that was the episode. Yeah. I called you the fluctuator. Yeah. That's what it is. Money. Okay. Chicken.

chicken figure. Zachary Tanner. Yanni is Jackie Kennedy's opposite. It's the eyes. I don't get it. I can get it. Okay. Her eyes far apart. Oh, her eyes far apart. Yeah. Brad off Pitler. Brad What? Brad Pitt. Yeah. It's a good good one. Good joke. Chicken finger it. Haysie. Vashal Mishura. Holly Doak, B.H. Switch it up this Christmas, molester uncle. Put him on the list. Okay. It's just funny. Rhymes with blink maggot. Blink maggot Rhymes with blink maggot Probably

Yeah Lad of 14 Told my friends I did the inverted Rainbow last night But my wife just calls it Pegging I don't know what that is

I don't know what the inverted rainbow is I'm in Then we got Hijab of the Hut Put him on the list Wow Contender

A chicken finger Contender Uh Yes I'm trans Yes I'm proud Yes I got a dick Guy Put him on the list

For the funny factor We got a big list You know what it is about that one Sometimes you get one where it's not a joke. It's just funny. It's just funny. Yeah, yeah.

Then we got Marty Drusky. I'd like to say that's personality driven. Elliot runs like she has Yanni's eyes and Chris's feet. Okay. Okay. Austin Harkis, Rich, loose poots, Elliot Ruiz, Ross Arsini, A.D. Fell asleep with a condom on, woke up with Trenchcock. What is Trenchcock?

Trenchcock. Oh, right, right. Yeah. Yeah. Call me a necropheliac the way I crack a cold one. kid likes beers yeah kylilo flattery it's a good one yeah like that it's a good word play i'm gonna directs to that okay yeah because he's you know he fucks cold bodies he cracks a cold beer

swallowing too much cum come hurts my tum tum that's who it happens kenneth bishop india jones and the temple of fumes i think we've had that yeah austin two to the greek one in the squeak eslo k s lo k s lily aurora hope solo's world cup winning roast beef because i think hope solo got her picks, and she had her push out. Ari Arasai. She's a piece, by the way.

Peace. Thomas Carlson, aka Super Wasp. Yeah. Card bounce, had to sign up again. It's what it is. It happens.

It happens. Hamilton, the musical, aka Mugnian Rouge. Wei Songxian. It's... Lad of 14. Yeah, list it. Fuck it.

It's just what it is. I mean, technically it's technically he could win. I'm sorry to the man who was sitting next to me at the table at the wedding, Anthony Ramos, who was one of the leads of the play Hamilton, who told me he listens to the podcast and he's definitely going to be listening this week. So I apologize to you, Mr. Ramos, that this one has made the list. I mean, listen, it's just, it's naughty, but it's funny. It's funny.

And he's a great kid, Anthony. He would probably just laugh at it. Cisering hurts my balls. List? Yeah. I mean, this is the biggest list we've ever had. Yeah, put it on the list. The visual of that is fucking hilarious.

Yeah. He's just, it's singers, he's a scissor with another guy. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah, put him on the list. Okay. Then we got Dick Zillow. G.I. Doc, who likes to paint, call me Jackson Pollop. Like it.

Dick Jockey. Russ Gutin looks like Brian Callan on peptides. The dentist was checking out my wife, so now I make her chimney sweep me before every appointment. Chachi HD. My wife only has black toys. Is that bad? Black toys. Oh, right.

Yeah. I get it. Leroy minus two-fifths, because I'm five-six, call me Roy. Okay. Too much. Jose Medina. Attila the hung. Attila the hung is a chicken finger.

Sealing cricket blends in with the NBA on TV. No more. houses because the chaos numbers are down. That's true. Chelsea, Akash Singh's street toilet. Huh? Akash Singh's street toilet? I don't know. Yeah. D-1-1-man, Iceman Van, Rich. Chris He can't stop eating. Dominic D. Perespero. Chris, the windmill monkey. Lazarus. D.P. Squeakney. If he was a muzzie, he would be Napoleon blown apart. If who was? Just Napoleon. If he was a muzzy, he would be Napoleon. Napoleon.

blown apart. List it. Okay. Fuck it. Gabriel Stinking. Chicken figure. My cousin is finally a $25 member, but he is also gay.

Okay. Holden tucks. Tim D's cats. He's a lot of cum. Giant chicken figure. Joseph Sistooley. Okay. Chicken figure.

And then we got call triple. A, I blew a tranny again. What on the list? What it is? Yeah, I mean, Tim Dillon's cat probably is seeing just a lot of huge, yeah. S. Jadge, then we got Chris Mullin's other daughter,

Danny Spaghetti, Super for Mario, cracking open, princess piece, Sandra D's nuts on your chin. Exclusive auto shipping is back, Yanni. Joshua Lebrose. Who's exclusive auto shipping? Oh, he was an old sponsor of

Yeah. Okay, he's back. Yeah, he's back. Joshua Libros and Jay. All right. So we got a big list. Fuck, I'm crying. Okay, so here we go.

Yeah. So we got Hamilton the musical, aka Mulean Rouge. Keep it around. Cisering hurts my balls. Keep it around. If he was a muzzie, he would be Napoleon blown apart. Keep it around. Call AAA, I blew a tranny again.

We're going to direct so that. It's very funny. Yeah, very funny. Oil Money House, call it a sand castle. We're going to directs to that. I mean, this is the definition. definition of it. Any of these guys could have won on another list. Mexican Leroy call me Caféconleche.

Oh, we're going to Drexler it. Watermelon Monkey, who knows Kung Fu? Call me Bruce Leroy? Drexler it. Okay. I want on Peter Ruggers in Beijinghurst. The thing is, I'm biased to that because we're from this area, but it's two inside. We're going to chicken finger. Okay. Carbon dated my twin bed. Call it the shroud of urine. Very good. This is the definition of a Drexler, unfortunately.

For the last time I'm not gay It was one bro job I'm just gonna just shot out Bro job But we're gonna Drexler it Okay Switching up this Christmas molester Uncle

Very funny we're gonna Drexler it Hjab of the Hut We're keeping that around What it is Yes I'm trans Yes I'm proud Yes I got a dick guy See that's personality

Yeah But I'm gonna Drexler it But it made me laugh the hardest So I mean this is what makes this so hard Okay, so that was the biggest list we've ever had. I mean, they came out swinging. So here's the four. The fans came out fucking swinging.

Okay, so here's the four. Let me just read him out. Job of the Hunt. If he was a muzzie, he would be Napoleon blown apart. Hamilton, the musical, a.k. Mulion Rouge. Jesus. Or scissering hurts my balls. Wow, this is one of my favorite brackets.

This is one of my favorite bracket. What do you think, guys? This is like the World Cup. A lot of good teams. Wow. start with that last one again hijab of the hut hijab of the hut

it's a great pun any other day you know any other day you would win on another list if he was a muzzy he would be Napoleon blown apart you keep that around Hamilton the musical a.k. Mulion Rouge or scissoring hurts my balls

so that's what we're down to those are the three yeah I feel bad about the hijab of the hut because that's so funny But it's just, hey, you agree with that, Drexluring? I mean, look, dude, look at the world. Well, what are you guys like? Yeah. You know?

It wasn't fair that, you know, England had to play Argentina in the semifinals, but it's what it is. But this is the first time, this, I'm being honest with you, this is the first time I feel like I may make a mistake. Because of the Hunt? Yeah. Is hijab of the Hut too good? No, I think it's right because I think that personally, out of all these, Napoleon blown apart is really, really good. Hamilton, the musical Mulean Rouge, is excellent, but scissoring hurts my balls is just one of those ones that's been there for the taking the whole time.

Nobody ever thought of it, and it feels unique to me. And it made you laugh big. Yeah, it's really funny. What are you guys, Jesse, what's your vote? Yeah, you got you funny, you got your inventive, you got your racist, take your pick. Yeah, we got it all. Yeah, scissoring hurts my balls. It just is like unexpected and hilarious.

Yeah, it is. Nick, what do you like? I like Hamilton because I'm a theater kid. Yeah. Right, Mulean Rouge. Well, but I think you're going to. scissor and hurts your balls. Well, what do you like? Well, what's the other one? Cisorin

hurts my balls, Hamilton, the musical, a.k. Moulogne Rouge, or if he was a muzzie, he would be Napoleon blown apart, which is also really funny. Which is really funny. I mean, I might go Napoleon. Napoleon's really funny. Napoleon blown apart instead of bone apart? Should we do

put this to the fans? This was too hard. All three of them? Let's do all three. Let's do all three. Yeah, let's just put them all three. Because I don't want to put a vote in for that when I know the kid who's the lead of the musical. Yeah, yeah. But if the fans vote for it is, what it is. Just put it, yeah. So go to patreon.com slash history aina's.

Because, you know, comedy's subjective, dude. You know, it's like, let the fans decide. These are the three. Sometimes there's a clear winner. Sometimes we need the fans. If he was a muzzie, he would be Napoleon blown apart, Hamilton the musical, A.K. Muleon Rouge, or sizzering hurts my balls. Those are the picks.

This is our professional job. This is how we feed our families. Go to patreon.com slash history hyenas. We love you. That sound. It means summer's biggest event is here. The fashion is unmatched. The crowds buzzing, the bets are down.

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