History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - The Armenian Genocide was Brutes | History Hyenas

Episode Date: April 30, 2026

This week on History Hyenas, the boys take on one of the darkest and most debated chapters of the 20th century — the Armenian Genocide. Chris and Yannis break down the historical context of the collapsing Ottoman Empire, the rise of nationalism, and how over a million Armenians were systematically deported and killed between 1915 and 1923. They dive into the political tensions, the global response at the time, and why this event is still at the center of controversy and denial today. Expect the Hyenas’ signature mix of raw humor and real history as they try to make sense of a tragedy that still echoes across generations. It’s heavy, it’s important, and yes — they still manage to keep it CUTE. 🎧 Subscribe for more wild history breakdowns every week 🔥 Drop a comment with topics you want the Hyenas to cover next #HistoryHyenas #ArmenianGenocide #HistoryPodcast #WorldHistory #OttomanEmpire #ComedyPodcast #DarkHistory #LearnHistory #HistoryNerds #PodcastLife Support our sponsors: For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://hims.com/HYENAS. Use Discount Code “HYENAS” to claim your FREE JumpStart Trial Bag at https://RuffGreens.com Go to https://Quince.com/hyenas for free shipping and 365-day returns. #comedy #Podcast #History Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas/ Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit.ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0 Hyenas Merch!!! https://store.historyhyenaspod.com Follow us Cuz! 🙆🏻‍♂️ Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ 🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ 🐕More Hyenas Website: www.historyhyenasisback.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/historyhyenas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HistoryHyenas Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/historyhyenaspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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welcome to another episode of History Hyenas. I'm Krista Stefano, aka Chrissy the Cuck. With me, as always, Janis Pappas, aka Yani One-I. I want you to have fun with this episode. Do not forget to like and subscribe to that YouTube page, YouTube.com slash history hyenas and patreon.com slash history hyenas

for the bonus episodes and the ad-free episodes. Tell you friends. All right, guys, I'm back on the road every single Thursday in New York. City at New York Comedy Club 6 and 8.30 p.m. shows. Go to Christycomedycom for Tikiwikis. And then in late June, I am at Stanford Comedy Club. And then August, we are at Atlantic City Comedy Club. More dates coming, Christy Comedy.com. Yeah, we're sticking around. We're trying to stay away from

playing so you can see me this weekend, May 2nd, in Amas, Pennsylvania at the Amas Theater. Atlantic City, New Jersey at the Tropicana Casino Comedy Club, whatever that is there. That's Atlantic City Comedy Club. Yeah. June 26, 27th, East Hampton, New York, July, New Brunswick, July 17th through the 18th, Philly Punchline, August 14th and the 15th, and then Austin, Texas, August 21st, to 23rd, Yannaspepperscom, for tickets. Enjoy this freaking episode, which you already are. Yeah, that's where the wild things are, and I'm Yanni One Eye, I'm Yonnie Minion. Yeah, it's what it is.

I don't know, everybody's called me Yoninian. Yoninian, because they got one eye. Those are the new ones that are going to start popping out, but you like Yonie One Eye. I like Yonai. It sounds like a name I was given to by Italians and Bensonner. It's what it is. Yanni one eye. It sounds like, yeah, like that Joey gas pipe gave you that. Yeah, it just sounds like they take your worst quality and the Italians will just make it your name. Now, because today we're going to be talking about the Armenian genocide, okay? And we're not talking about keeping up with the Kardashians.

We're talking about the historical debacle in the early 1900s. Just another one for the Ottoman Empire just slaughtering innocent. They were pretty good at it. They were pretty good. They had a whole. thing. Look, it was an efficient empire. They ran a tight ship. Yeah. They did their Dev Sherma sweeps every couple years. What they would do is they'd go around. They'd go around to areas in the Balkans, Slavic areas,

Greek areas, up into the Caucasus and they'd just go into your home and they'd say, that's your seven-year-old son? And they would go, yeah, and they go he's ours now and we're going to turn him into an elite Muslim Janissary. It's what it is. And now look, and he's going to come back and kill you.

I know that people are out there saying. like Jesus, these guys, every week they're making something about Islam. We're not. We're just doing history. Today we're going to do a history episode. Just about, again, just another, you know, Muslim slaughter that we came upon. And this has nothing to do. We're just giving you the facts here. Because, you know, if Mamdani wants to run New York City, he's okay, but we can have our response to. And our, we respond with history and we respond with the facts. We respond. We respond with the facts.

Here's the interesting thing. So here is the very interesting thing. You've got to give credit to Mamdami. A lot of people were surprised about this. Okay. So we're doing this episode, not because we like talking about the Ottoman Empire and about Muslim atrocities, as much as we're trying to catch the trending algorithm. That's what is.

Because two days ago was the Armenian genocide anniversary. Yes. And so it was all over social media and the news. and the thing about the Armenian genocide is it's controversial. Right. It's controversial because 34 nations recognize it, but a bunch don't. And those ones that don't are Turkey, Pakistan, and a couple of places. Israel won't.

Yeah, yeah, I found out that it was the Armenian genocide anniversary when I somehow found, stumbled on to Hassan Pikes, Twitch stream from a five-star hotel in Cuba as he was cheering on the Germanian genocide anniversary. the death of the Armenians while lifting weights and doing peptides. Besad Piker, if he did a 23 and me, unfortunately, the kid would be a Greek or Armenian kid. It's what it is.

It's just what it is. The Turks, they looked a little bit more. The Turks look a little more Ali Wongish. It's what it is. So they're Central Asians, so they're a little bit more hiding go seek looking. Listen, here's the thing with Hassan... Here's the thing with Hassan Piker is he's a gorgeous, really

gorgeous kid and he will get a tap kiss for me on his uncircumcised penis. Because he is such a cute kid. He's a fun kid. He's an entertaining kid. I enjoy that kid. He's under a lot of heat right now because he said he would go into Whole Foods and he would love to steal because corporations he wants to steal from that. It's what it is

because today. And he also said he understand why the head of that, the CEO of that health company got murdered because he was committing social murder. My kids asked me yesterday why I was roaming around on my hands and knees with a shock collar on. I said, I'm making believe I'm Peson Pecker's dog.

La 14 Because if you're Turkish They just like order They want you to submit So what's his dog to submit So here's another fun fact too Because I know Hassan Piker's been in the news And Hassan Piker's been on my podcast

I actually liked the guy But he You know he got famous from a show called the Young Turks And we found out the origination of the young Turks Is actually from the Armenian Genocide Time Yeah which is What's her name Anakas Vaspian? Whatever her name is?

Anna Kizvah, you know What's her name? I don't know Chanks, uh, She's Armenian. Do you say who's co-host? Chank. Oh, Chank.

Okay. I think he said something else. Yeah. Anna Casparian, she's Armenian. Whenever you see an I-A-N, it's Armenian. I see. And I'll say this, Armenians are Christians. So let's set the table.

Armenians are Christians. Okay, so Armenians are the good guys. Latin. The Greeks are not mean. Armenians and Greeks are big fans of each other. Right. Because they did not submit. to Islam.

Or the Greeks did it. The Armenians also. The Armenians also. Right. The Armenians also. The Armenians also. It's a complicated thing out there in the Middle East. Right.

A complicated thing. But. Because Armenia was Christian. Armenians are Christian. They were Christian. They all lived in the Ottoman Empire. The Greeks, the Armenians. It was all Ottoman.

They conquered everything. Yeah. And then they had the Millet system, which meant you can keep your religion, but you can never bring charges against the Muslim. If we want to come in your house and take your son and turn him into an elite Muslim fighter who's brainwashed and becomes a Manchurian candidate and comes back and kills your village, that's our prerogative as well. We'll do that every couple of years. Right. Also, if your daughter is attractive, we might take her to and throw her in a harem. Yeah.

Now, that part I understand because I would have done the same. Now, also, too, they added, they just updated that. They also can hit the prayer rug in your driveway after they drop off the Uber Eats. That's part of what is loud under Shiaria law. If you want to hear all about that, go to patreon.com slash history a liens. We now have a court case on our hands. That is one of the best episodes we ever done. It's based on a true story that happened to one of the co-host you're looking at right now.

Yeah. So this is the Ottoman Empire. This is the Malay system. So if you were Armenian or you were Greek, you had to pay a tax. Okay. Right? Some would call it a protection tax. A Jiza.

They called it a Jiza. It was a protection tax, was what they call it. Just like the mafia would call it a protection tax. It's a protection tax. It's all it is is for your protection. It's for your protection. You're under the protection of the Muslim Ottoman Empire. That's all I'm saying.

So nobody can mess with you, but you have to pay us a little extra. And so that would, it was genius because it would really put the financial pressure on you to convince you. Like most people ended up converting just so they could have the law. Right. Just they could have the law and that they could, don't have to pay the tax. Right. But then you had to go to the military. But then the Turk.

The Ottomans would make you change your name. They'd make you change your name to a Turkish name. Total Turkification. So what would be like changing to like a Turk name? They change it to like Hassan Piper. Right. From like Papadouls. So if your name was Janus Pompas, what would your Turkish name be?

Hassan Piper. Hassan, yeah. It would be Hassan or Mehmet or Mahet or... Yeah. Mahidi, something like that. And you would change your name. So actually, and this is just the truth, the majority of Turkey now, which is the nation state of Turkey that grew out of the Ottoman Empire what was left of it after the borders

receded after World War I. The majority of the Turkish population is converted Greeks, Armenians, Assyrians, and Anatolians, which are, there was different types of Anatolians. Wait, Anatolians are Turkish. They're from the area. They're Turkish now, but originally there were just tribes of people that were living in there. So I'm just going to add, just to keep it simple without saying names, just you know what I mean. Good guys and bad guys. Are the Anatolians, the good guys are the good guys? So that's the only way I could see it.

Good guys. Anatolians are the good guys. Antitans are the good guys. Okay, so that, just break it down for me. We got the Hall of Justice is the Legion of Doom. Yeah, yeah. So the Anatolyans are the good guys. So just tell me, because my brain's a little slow because the ketones wore off.

Anatolians are the good guys. Anitolians are Luke Skywalker and his people and the Jedi Knights, and then you got Darth Vader and that guy. Got it. So just so I know, so when we say Darth Vader and the Death Star, just in this situation, Dark Faders wearing a turban. Lad of 14.

Just, they're covered. That's just like Dark Fader. It's just, there's something over his body. It's just what it is. It's just fully clothed. Yeah. Yeah. So you had to add Italians, and, you know, that area used to be the Byzantine Empire.

So it was all Christian. Great. Syria was all good guys. Egypt was all Christian. All Christian Europe, Christian Armenia. Good guys. Good guys all over the Middle East. Good guys all over the Middle East.

Now, we're not going to sugar-encoat it. The Byzantines also didn't just. ask you to convert sometimes. Sometimes they said, oh, you're worshipping. You have a leaf over your dick and you're worship, like you said. You got a leaf over your dick and you're worshipping some fucking tribal God. Well, now it's Jesus. So the good guys could do bad things.

The good guys could do bad things. But they were still the good guys. But they were still the good guys. But they did have bad moments. Yeah, their prophet was a guy who preached peace. He wasn't a minute. That's what it is. Just bleep that.

You got to bleep it. So, and You know, Istanbul was Constantinople, which was the fucking center of the Christian Byzantine Empire, where the shrouded Theran was. Right. So Istanbul, Istanbul right now is the capital of modern day Turkey, which used to be Constantinople. And I just want to say, just like the way New York is now New York, but in a couple of years, it'll be called New Kandahar. That's what it is.

Yeah. Well, it's what you say. Yeah. So I just would like to say, and this is just, I'm not saying for any reason why I'm just going to say it. and I just would like Constantinople back. So do I. I want back. I'd like it back just like because I know like the, what is it, the Sophia?

Ayas Sophia. I would like to have that back. I would like to have that back in the hands of the good guys. Right now it's not in the hands of the good guys. It's currently a big mosque. We lost it a long time ago. We lost Constantinople. We lost Constantinople.

All this stuff is contextually relevant leading up to the Armenian genocide. And by the way, when I say good guys, versus bad guys, I'm talking about historically. I'm not saying anything present day. We have a lot of historical bad guys that are now good guys in present day. When I talk about history, good guys versus the bad guys, I'm talking about history.

Even though I did have a bad guy, a new barit's driver, I had a bad guy. I did have a bad guy show up on my property. We're basically saying is we want to go to Turkey and we want to do hypnosis like this and go, what was your real name? Yeah. What's your real?

Who was your real grandparents? Until they start going, until they start going, Christosha, And we go, I know there's a Greek in there. I know there's a Greek in there somewhere. Talk to me. I know there's an Armenian in there. Yeah, let me just say too, just real quickly,

even though it doesn't have anything to do with today's episode, I just want to say real quick that the Crusades was not... The good guys. No, I'm sorry, just joking. The Crusades was not a war that you learned about in school. You always sometimes learn about the Crusades in school as very bad Christian men doing very bad things to Muslims. I just want to say that that's a lie. that's just, that's all like liberal, you know, unholy Trinity stuff that we've spoken about.

The truth is that the Crusades was a response of Islam taking Christian lands like Armenia and Egypt and all those countries. You mentioned it. So it was a response. The Crusades were a response. So we didn't start it, is what I'm saying. That's historically accurate. It's just historically accurate. It's objectively accurate. It wasn't just those lands. They started marching into Europe and they wanted to try to take Vienna and there was a stand at Vienna. And then the Christian. were trying to reclaim the lands that they had lost. Yeah, and I just want to remind, just, again, just to throw it in there, just so we have it, that the word Islam does mean surrender.

So just Islam just know that that's not what Christianity means. The word of Islam means surrender. It means submit. Submission. It means submission. So just that's, just know that that's, you know, what's happening. That's what the word of the religion is submit. Every, every, whenever you mix religion and power, bad things happen.

But the Ottoman Empire had it sort of institutionalized. in a smart way. The Christians came along and they kind of did it very much by the sword. Right. Whereas the Ottomans were like, we're going to run an efficient empire and we're going to slowly turn you into us. Right, which is actually more... Smarter. Smarter and it's a little cleaner. I think it's the way Mom Dami can really balance the budget of the city is if he just does a Jiza. Yeah. I mean, you got a lot of Christians, you got a lot of Jews. You just say, hey, you can convert to Islam and if you don't, you just got to pay an extra tax. And then with that extra tax, we can balance the budget in New York City. It's what it is. And Stobros wouldn't have broken his arm

falling off that lime scooter if there were free buses in our city. There's no question in my mind that Stavros, if he wasn't probably from whatever island he was and he was sort of an Anatolian Greek, if he wasn't Pontic Greek, no question. His name would have a squiggly line over it right now. It would just be a squiggly line and he'd be speaking a different language. Feel better, Stambros, hope your arm gets better. Feel better. Hope you're doing good.

As I said on the Patreon, get off the scooter. I want you to go down on the lime scooters and up on the limes. It's a little more fruit is what you're saying That's what you're saying Yeah, okay So this is the Ottoman Empire 400 years They run all that area

Armenia, the Kurds Everyone is under the Ottoman Empire And it is the Millet system So if you're Muslim You're basically a first class citizen If you're in the Millet system You are Dev Sherma I'm sorry, you are in the Malay system

You're a second class citizen Now what is Dev Sherma? Dev Sherma is this is a Dev Shermer sounds like a cricket player Dev Sherma sweeps Okay Dev Sharma sweeps

They would do Dev Sharma sweeps Every couple years And the word But what is Dev Sherman They would go pay you a little visit Okay They would go pay a visit

They would Because this is when we Google Dev Sherman You got this Baliwood actor Yeah Jesse It's all one word With an eye Yeah

Dev Shirbo with an eye Yeah there you go Just he's got a GED Yeah Jesse's what it's I'm gonna start calling him Fifth Avenue, Jesse. Yeah.

So the Dev Sherma was a blood tax. It was an Ottoman policy that forcibly levied Christian boys from the Balkans, converting them to Islam to serve as elite janitorious soldiers or high-ranking bureaucrats loyal to the Sultan. This system created a merit-eratric...

Meritocracy. Yeah. Ruling class separated from family ties that powered the Empire's expectation. So in other words, because Christian boys from the Balkans, you, if you were alive in the 14th to 17th century, you would have been a janitori. I would have, it was up to them.

Because you're a Balkan boy. Yeah, I'm a Balkan boy big. Big. So if you were Slavic from Bulgaria or, you know, Romania or Serbia or Greece or any of those areas, all the way up, they love the Cisarians, which are a Caucasian group, because they said they had beautiful women. That's where they love to get their sexual slaves. They love the Cisarian women. With the white women. They love those like Russian-looking women.

They love them, but they also like the Greek women. And so they would do the shrama sweeps where when they were coming, they wanted, so they were recruiting soldiers. They would brainwash you. So they take you from your family. Your family would be crying. Sure. And they'd just come in your house and they would forcibly remove you from your family as a little boy. And they would take you to Istanbul.

They would force you to convert to Islam. They would raise you Islamic. Right. So the kids all had Stockholm syndrome, and then they became elite fighters for the sultan, and they would then go and oppress the places that they were from. Right. Because now they were like fully loyal to the Ottoman Empire. I think Vlad Dracula, this happened to the actual Vlad the Impaler.

He was taken in because of this. And then Vlad Dracula, Vlad the Impaler was a crusader. When he was impaling, he was impaling Ottomans, right? Yeah. This was just the system. Yes. Exactly. Turks. Yeah. So this was the system. This is how they ran their empire. So they got taxes from the Malay system from all the protected minorities, which were Zoroastrianism, which they were slowly converting. Iranians. That's like Iranians, right? Modern day. Persians. Zoroastrianisms, Christians. The Jews, very few Jews converted.

They just stay true to who they were. Yeah. Very few Armenians converted because they had a strong central church, one of the oldest churches. very few Greeks and Montenegrans, strong Orthodox Church, so they paid the tax. And they also did guerrilla warfare constantly, like the Montenegrans to try to... So the Ottomans like to kill them. They didn't like them. But a lot of Greeks and Armenians and Assyrians, who are also Christian, converted in Anatolia, which is the area basically of Turkey now. Right.

It's called Anatolia, that area. Right. And then there was like little tribes there that they also converted. So we'll call that for right now. We'll call that the nice part of Turkey. Call it the Death Star. Yeah. Well, no, not Anatolia, right?

That was the nice part. Well, no, Anatolia was like the main area. Right. So the Turkic warriors, they were basically like Mongolians, right? They were hired by the Arabs first, taught to fight by the Arabs. And then they came and conquered, they conquered the former Byzantine lands that make up Anatolia. Got it. So these were like Asiatic looking people from the steps.

Got it. They came down. They were Muslim and they came down and they started the Ottoman Empire. From the steps, not from the neutrals. They were from the steeps. Yeah. They were from the steeps. S-T-E-P-P-E-S.

Yeah. So they came down and most of the genetic makeup, they say, of the Anatolia area is like at most 9, 10%, most of them have zero. Right. Turkic in them. Like, thank God I have. none. But you're positive.

You did a clean sweep? I did a clean sleep. No Central Asian DNA. Okay. No central. I am in Anatolian Greek and I am a Minoan Greek from Crete. Yeah. Hellenic all the way, baby.

Yeah. I'm a Hellenicized. Yeah. So they came down and so the most it'll be like usually nine to 10 percent. Okay. So the Turkish people look very, you know, Middle Eastern or European. Right.

A lot of European because of the mixing with the women that they took, the intermarriage, the conversions. Right. Mostly conversions, forced conversions or via the tax system. The Armenians kind of resisted in state of minority. The Greeks... Miss Turkey will get cracked open. Yeah. And on islands, it was harder for them to do.

The mainland, they just easy picking. Right. So they'd convert a lot of Greeks and the Armenians would change their names. And that made up the Ottoman Empire. It was just like living in the Roman era or you were like Roman, you wanted to be Roman. I see. You got like tax breaks, you became a citizen.

You want to be a U.S. citizen. Yeah, if somebody raped, if someone raped your daughter, you could go to court, you know? Like, you could, if you were not Muslim, you couldn't just go to court and go, hey, this Muslim guy took my daughter. They'd be like, yeah. Yeah, that's what it is.

That's because you're, yeah, you're a Greek. Yeah, hello. It's just what we did. Look at my helmet. I'm from the death star. Look at what I'm wearing. Yeah. You're just asking why a fish swims.

Yeah. I mean, I'm in water. Yeah, hello. So hello, that's what we do. Yeah, look at my belt. It's just severed Christian heads around my waist. Yeah. Which is what we do.

So they were discriminated against constantly, the Armenians. Then... For years, for hundreds of years. Hundreds of years. So then we have World War I. Right. And the Ottoman side with the Germans. Now you may change your opinion.

It's what it is. Yeah. I saw a couple of videos. I think we posted on history hyenas of... Or you posted on the Instagram of an Armenian, I'm sorry, Ottomans. I just get nervous when your hand goes like that. Right. Ottoman.

Ottoman. Yeah. Is that more comfortable up here? Three quarters I'm not as comfortable. Yeah. I want it down here or up here. Yeah. Yeah.

Because nobody ever did this salute. Yeah. That's great. So the Ottomans were Muslim Nazis. They have them. There's video footage of them hitting the prayer rug with full Nazi SS uniforms. Yes, yeah. There was, those were Croatians.

Those were Croatian Muslims? Croatian Muslims. That sided with the Nazis and fought with the Ottomans. No, the Ottomans, Ottoman Empire was over by World War II. Good point, yes, we're talking about World War I. We're talking about World War I. So this is the World War I, this is the German helmet that had like a look like a dick on time. It had a little piece up there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little piece. Yeah. And so they sided with them and then that side lost. So the Ottoman Empire was like, hurting and it got beat and the British were in there and then this is the first in 400 since the 14th century this is really where the Ottoman Empire is starting to take a beating this is where the muzzies things started to turn on the muzzies this is where this is where the

good guys start to win a little bit this is where the artillery that Europe has a little stronger than what they got going over there and we and and and they start to win a little bit more I was not saying we but I said they let's just say for this is the first time in 500 years for whatever reason, Jesus had to send in the boys. He sent in the boys. Jesus started making a little bit of what we call a comeback. It's what it is.

He was down. He was like, oh, three quarter, we're down 15. Yeah. But guess what we got on our team? JC, and J.C.'s got a fucking sweet jumper and knows to fucking move without the ball and get open. It's what it is. Yeah.

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Russians are Christian. Russians are, you know, fucking with them. the British are fucking with them. The Greeks have their war of independence and fight them a couple years. The Greeks win. So the Greeks take back mainland Greece. So the Ottomans are on their back feet. They're getting beat, right?

They're getting beat. They're in their back sandals. They're in their back sandals. And the Armenians, a lot of Armenian intellectuals in Constantinople, start saying, hey, we don't want to be killed anymore. We would like that. We would like that. We would like to not be murdered. We don't want to be tortured anymore.

We don't be, we want more equality. We're a persecuted minority and we want a little bit of equality. Wow. And the Ottomans go, okay, well, we'll cut a deal with you. We'll kill you or we'll kill you. Yeah. So that's the deal. And so what we're going to do is we're going to accuse you of conspiring with the Russians.

Again, availability bias. It probably happened a little bit where the Russians work with the Armenians. The Armenians working with the Russians a little bit because they had the Ottomans. The Ottomans had a bit of repression them. But overall, the intellectuals were going for equality. Like they were trying to say, hey, now just make us equal, right? And the Turks were like, a boy named Adeturk came along in a young Turks. And they were like, we're going to create a nation state, an ethno nation state.

That's for Muslims. That's for Muslims. And Armenians are not a part of this state. This is for Muslims. These are the young Turks. Right. Remember, Israel's unique. Nothing like this has ever happened in the Middle East ever.

It's just Israel that tried to create an ethno state. That's it. The Muslims never did it. Right. Even you look at all the Muslim countries now, you go, they're all religious ethnostates. How did that happen? I don't know. I don't know how it happened. But Israel's the only ones in the Middle East who've done this.

Just remember that. So who are the names of the Young Turks, Jesse? Can we just, do you know them, Yanni? Yeah, it's Asam Piker, Sampiker, and Asam Piker. That's what it is. The Young Turk, yeah, this Young Turk Revolution starts in about 1908. 1908, they start. They reinstated the Ottoman Concepers.

Constitution. So this couldn't have felt good for the Armenians. Right. So the young Turks... It's also a song by Rod Stewart. Right. So they see their move. They see their move when the Ottoman Empire is crumbling. And the young Turks want to modernize and they want a nation state called Turkey named after Ataturk. So they're like, we're going to be modern. We're going to be Muslim. We're going to be homogeneous. And we're going to get these people out.

So in the early 1900s when World War I once. started that land that's now called Turkey. What was that called? Anatolia? No, Ottoman. That was the Ottoman Empire. So it didn't have like a name. It was just called the Ottoman Empire. Got it. Yeah, it was called the Ottoman Empire. So guys like Talit Pasha and Enver Pasha. Right.

They start accusing the Armenians of being like the Spanish resistance, a fifth pillar. Like there's a resistance inside the country and it's a threat. And the Armenians. It's the Armenians. We got to do it. So the Armenians are going, we need freedom. So then what they do, what the young Turks do, is they go in to Constantinople. They round up all the Armenian intellectuals and they send them on a plane. They send them on a plane into the sky.

They had planes back then? Into the sky. Oh, right. They put them into the sky. So they started slitting your throats and throwing them in the river is what they started doing. They started getting rid of them. Yeah. They started getting rid of them.

And then they said, we're going to deport all the Armenians. We're going to get them out. And so what they did was they said, we're going to march you out. Right. We're going to organize, collect all of you, take your property. So it's very similar to, I know what people are thinking like, oh, we're deporting innocent people that we hear today call that ice, but they called it sand. They called it sand. So it was the sand.

We're sending you to the sand. We're sending you in the direction of Syria. It happens to be a desert out there. It's a one-way ticket. Right. We're telling you that we're relocating you, like we're moving you out, but we're sending you into the desert. Right. Where like it's just, you're going to die.

It's going to die. So it was a death march. And out there, even though I'm fully on their Armenian side, out there in the middle of the sand, it's hard to tell who's who because especially when sandstorm picks up, everybody kind of just looks like a chicken cutlet waiting to get fried. That's what it is. That's what it is. Yeah. So they marched them. They marched them out and on the way they would pluck them off.

Right. They'd start shooting them whatever or they'd line them up and back. By the way, not just men, women, children, elderly. Women, children, everyone. Think about this is the Holocaust for Armenian people. This is, if you were Armenian, it was the Armenian population. We're talking about 1.5 million people. That's almost all of every Armenian on the planet.

Yeah, I mean, it's just like all Armenians is 1.5 million of them. They were like, we're getting them out. We're getting them out. And so they marched them into the desert and they starved or they killed them or was organized killing. And we have documents saying that these were instructions on what to do. the Turks claim now because they don't want this to mess with their national history. They don't want anything to unravel. So they say it was just a result of war, just the population exchanges.

They were attacking us. They'll take one instance where Armenian rebels fought against them in CC. They were conspiring with the Russians and this is what we had to do. But tell us the truth, Yanni, one eye. The truth is they marched them out, used that as an excuse, said it was happening everywhere, and they got rid of them because they wanted to create a Muslim Turkish ethno state. The death toll was an estimated 664,000 to 1.5 million. They were killed through massacres, individual killings, and systematic starvation.

That's what happened. Because they wanted a Muslim ethno state. So what happens then? So what happens is, is that happens in what 1914? 1915, 16. 1915. Which, by the way, the term genocide, was made up by a Polish lawyer named Raphael Lemkin.

Yeah. So the term genocide really comes from this massacre. Yeah. This is sort of just like history, right? This is just what we see throughout history. So, and it's ugly. So they kill them all, you know, however many died. Anywhere from 600,000, 1.5 million were killed.

And so the Turks were on their way to creating their new Turkey, the modern state of Turkey. But they still had to deal with the Greeks. Right. Still to deal with the Greeks. So the Greeks tried to take back Smyrna. They tried to take back Constantinople and they lost. They got crushed.

Right. So but the Greeks tried after they got their freedom and they were, Greece was back. They were like, let's try. Now that the Ottoman Empire is down on its luck, let's try to retake Constantinople for Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. And they lost and they lost in Smirland. Greeks were massacred and massacred and massacred. And then they decided we're going to, they were forced into a population exchange.

Right. So what they did was they killed, how many Greeks did they kill? It's not called the Greek in genocide for whatever, but they, so we had the Greco, Greek, Greek, Turkish war from 2019 to 22. And the Greeks lost, tried to take back Constantinople, didn't work, it's still Istanbul. Right. And then the population exchange, they were. forced in by the Treaty of Lusani or whatever it's called to the Treaty of Lusane, right? 1923. So they were going to,

they said all the Greeks got to get out. Right. Now, these are Greeks that have lived there through the Byzantine times for thousands of years, thousands of years. So you're in your home. We're going to confiscate your home and you're going to go to mainland Greece, a place they never live. No. They don't know anything. It's basically going to another country. Now, and I'm sure things worked out because Greeks are known as very accepting of newcomers. Right. So, but they were Greek, so they were accepted. Greek.

And then the Turkish, there was about 400,000 Turkish people who were colonizers, who had moved into mainland Greece during the Ottoman Empire, that the Greeks. This is the history class that just tells you what it is. I mean, I thought, if I would be honest, they were the bad guys. Right? They were coming into mainland Greece. So they weren't well received, is what I'm saying, right? Exactly. Because they were, I'm not saying I thought that, but I'm saying to a Greek person who was like, you know, living in downtown

out, 100%. 100%. 100%. 100%. They hadn't been there that long, couple hundred years, tops. Some of them even 50 years, 20 years. They were Turkish overseers, Turkish administrators, Turkish people who assimilated maybe married to a Greek girl out.

Whatever they were, they were out. Right. So the population exchanged. And then along the way, we had something that. the Greeks consider a little bit of a genocide. And we're waiting for Jesse to pull that part up. And I'll explain that you. But let me just ask you this real quick.

During this time, though, right? Because knowing Greeks, the Greek culture I know through you, the Ottomans, the conquerors who were now coming in to move to mainland Greece, I mean, you can't hit a prayer rug in the middle of downtown Athens in front of Greek people. No, you cannot. You're not going to do that. No, you cannot. No, there was no call to prayer for these Ottomans.

That wasn't happening. It was happening. They built a mosque right in the Parthenon. In Greece? Yeah. During the Ottoman era. Oh, during the, I'm saying, but we're now talking after the genocide when the Ottomans just moved in there. They were like escaping almost, right?

They didn't, the Greeks were not going to allow that. Like I said, you have to finish your full prescription of antibiotics. Yeah. Latif 14. My question for you was this. So we took every pill that was prescribed. My question for you is this right now. Do you know the answer?

Is there a mosque in current day Greece right now? No. There's not one mosque in the whole country. There's a few, they're living, where is it, Thrace? There's Western Thrace and Eastern Thrace. So they're all in Thrace. So it's technically Greek. There's not a mosque in Athens.

No. No. There may be, what's going on now? There may be like, you know, with all the... In the face region, historic mosques. Yeah. Greece has over 300 active. of historic mosque in the Thrace region. They have a small, tiny

Muslim minority that's living in Greece. But they were historically there. We just took the land back and we left them there. When I say we, I say they. Right. So Athens opened its first. There's only one.

In 2020. In 2020. But it's state run. It's state run. So they can open and close it when they want and you're not allowed to... They say you can come in here, but you're not allowed to pray or be Muslim. Yeah. And there's not really anything else. And there's pushback to this right now. Yeah, because I got to be honest with you.

You know, I went, you know, in the five boroughs of New York City. Mosque is trying to open up like pizzerias. So I was just wondering how it wasn't Greece. Well, the mosque in the Acropolis was just removed. Yeah, that's not going to stay. It wasn't going to stay there. No, that might have been the first order business.

It wasn't going to stay there. It wasn't going to stay there. So there's a few like historical mosques from the period that they left for historical reasons or whatever, but there's not many. I think in Greece, the percentage of Muslims is very low. What is it? One to three percent. Something like that.

Very low. The lowest percentage of Muslims in Europe is Poland. Yes. Yeah. They don't think they have. Can you also, Jesse, two, next, is there a mosque in the nation of Poland anywhere? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, 91.6 or ethnically Greek? 2%. 0.2%. 0.2%. And 0.4 to 5.4 to 5. No, it's 2%. It's 2% Muslim. Oh, sorry, that's a comma.

2% Muslim is very low. Yeah, 4% to 15% are atheists. But that's what you got to keep a little. Recognizes it. We're just kidding. We're having a joke. We're joking around. It's at the firehouse what they said.

That's just what they say. Just for the immune system, you want to remind the immune system of what we're dealing with. Oh, wow. There aren't mosques in Muslim prayer places in Poland. Interesting. There's only 17. Yeah. There's 17.

Poland's a pretty big country. So it's 17 Yeah Yeah That's what it is I mean They're 17 on Nick's block In a story

Listen they're good people Listen they're good people there Most people are just You know Most Muslims are just What it is Yeah we're just messing around I'm just joking about history

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Like I said, we just got a comforter. You can't go wrong by taking a peek. Take a peek. They got nice clothes. So the Armenian Genocide, why don't we learn about it more in school? Why is it only ever, why is everything always about the Jews? Why don't we know more about, why don't we have to do digging for the Armenian genocide? Well, because what does Kim Kardashian say?

Does she believe there's an Armenian genocide? Of course she does. Okay. Yeah, of course she's Armenian. So of course she does. Like I said, most, almost all historians say it happened. We have the original documents that confirmed that it happened. there's a lot of real politic reasons why other places don't admit it, right?

So, you know, certain countries, you know, Turkey's a NATO member. So it's like, and they're very adamant. Like the Turks get mad at this. So Mom Dami, just to get back to the original point. Sorry, yes. Mom Dami issues a tweet on the day as a Muslim guy. And he says, today we're recognizing the Armenian genocide. And he goes hard too.

Wow, look what Mom Dani just got a checkmark. I mean, people were very... He was very happy. Yeah, people were very surprised by the tweet because the tweet was like detailed. And he went, today marks the 111th anniversary of the Armenian Genocide. Now, so for Turks, Muslim Turks hearing this...

This is bad. They're going, I mean, and you can see the comments, they were like, you fake, you two-faced, you're not a real Muslim. So he goes, we marked the 111th anniversary of the American Genocide as we honor the 1.5 million Armenians. Well, he went to, he took the high number. He took the high number murdered by the Ottoman Empire. I mean, this is wild.

Across modern day Turkey, Syria and Armenia, we must refuse to let history repeat itself in 2020. And then he goes even farther. The military forces of Azerbaijan and Turkey attacked the Armenian population. This is happening now. So what happened was Azerbaijan, which is Muslim, took land from Armenia. Like they lost land. Like they had a war. Unfortunately, Azerbaijan is militarily assisted by Israel.

Israel has given them the upper hand over Armenia because Israel views Azerbaijan, who are Shia, but they have problems with the Shiai in Iran. So they like to bolster Azerbaijan against Iran because they're right there. They can spy right over to them. So even though they're Muslims, they're the other team of the Muslims. Sort of. National problems. The Shiite Muslims, but the Shiite Muslims.

No, no, no. They're all Shiite, but this is, you know, it's not just Shiite. You got to remember, this is the power of nation states and jostling in the area for power. So Azerbaijan and Iran have problems basically about land and resources, things like that, but they're all Shiite Muslims. So, but Israel picks Azerbaijan, and unfortunately, Israel helped Azerbaijan do this to Armenia directly by giving them weapons because Israel gets cheap oil from Azerbaijan. And also Azerbaijan has a problem with Iran. So they're utilizing that.

So it's just Israel's looking out. It's Israel looking out for Israel, which is like what's new, right? Right. So Armenia has, so he's acknowledging that. That's probably why he did it too, because he knows that the Israelis are with the Azerbaijani's. And my point is it's a complicated neighborhood. There's a lot of stuff going on the way. Israel moved into the hood.

Right. It's a bad, like, if Israel wasn't there, there'd be ethnic cleansing and genocide we're all comfortable with. But do you see? What I see is this from these tweets or all this explaining and you got to tell me about this group and that group and how one's posturing and jogging together. Choose Jesus Christ. It's a lot easier. And Jesus, like we see. said on the Patreon if you want to go where the wild

things are on a certain Patreon episode which was one of our moments that our fans over there loved the most. We just are sick of the old sauce. We like the new sauce. We like Syracia. That's what it is. Yeah, we just don't like your thousand islands sitting at the salad bar.

We do saracha now. We make a good sauce over at patreon.com slash history hyenas. It's a good sauce and keep your old world sauce away from the new sauce. Now let's see what some of these comments are which by the way, our 99% of them are bots. I think we have to say this now once a month. If you're arguing with anyone, especially when it comes to politics on the internet,

you are arguing with a bot. Right. So he goes, oh, so do you know what a real genocide looks like? This is from a Huita-Title bomb. Yeah. This is not real. Yeah. For the saying that the Gaza genocide

is much bigger than the Armenian genocide. Yeah, you got to do that. You got to tie it to something like that. Yeah. I had heard that the Turks were prop, baghandized into believing the Ottomans, didn't do a holicide, but holy shit, I was not expecting this comment section. Why are we remembering the actions of foreigners in a foreign country?

It's unfortunate. Once you see the squiggly lines? Yeah. That's what you see the squiggly lines? Those are the squiggly. Once you see the squiggly, as you know it's unfortunate. The popular mayor of New York, Mr. Mondami, allowed himself to be instrumentalized by radical Armenian lobbies by repeating the distorted claims about the events of 1915.

Okay. So these people are saying that they blew it out of proportion. There was no genocide. Yeah. Holy shit, you actually said something of actual importance. And then the real massacre was carried out by Armenian gangs, who massacred 2.4 million people in Anatolia. The Turks opened their archives. The Armenians refused.

Armenians have to apologize to the whole world, but especially to the Turks. Yeah. So, listen, Israel is doing the same thing. Right. All right? But this is all, they're doing nothing different than other countries have done in that area. just this is what happens in this area. This is what they do.

This is their culture. It's what it is. It's their culture over there. So look, and, you know, so what do we do? Do we remember the Armenian Genocide or do we not? Here at the History of Hainzegniz podcast. Are we in remembrance? Are we in remembrance of the Armenian Genetite?

It's a historical fact. Right. So it's just what happened. And I'm a Greek. So it also happened, I know, from, you know, just being a Greek. And I'm also the descendant of an Anatolian Greek. So my, my ancestors. lived under the Ottoman Empire for 400 years.

They weren't living in Greece. They were living under Turkish rule. So, like, you have almost like firsthand accounts, like stories of the secondhand account. Sorry. That's what my family came here. They were escaping the Ottoman Empire after the collapse from the island of Imros, which is now squiggly lines. So most historians estimate about 300,000 to 900,000 Greeks were killed by the Ottomans.

In forced marches and deportations. starvation, mass killings. Yeah. And these were all Anatolian Greeks. So we call it the Greek genocide, the Greeks, which is 1914 to 1923. So that's what we, but the widely cited range is 300 to 900 in the early 20th century. Right. You know, after the collapse.

Yeah. So, I mean, yeah, because. And then you got the Assyrians. And so what the Turks, the young Turks did in Constantinople. is they deported or killed or executed or ethnically cleansed the Assyrians, the Armenians, and the Greeks, which were the three big minority groups, and they just all were kicked out, and Turkey became a, you know, absolute religious ethno state of Muslims. Right. And there's got a matter. And that's where it remains today. That's where we are now.

That's where we are now. That's where we are now. But Turkey is an interesting place because it's mostly Muslim country, but it's the only probably predominantly Muslim nation, that's NATO, right? That's right. Do any other Muslim NATO countries? I think you're right. Is that right? I can't think of another one. Yeah.

I mean, any, that's so... Or Saudi Arabia? They're not. No, they're not. No. No way. Albania. Albania. They're mostly Muslim?

No, they're half. They're half and half. The Muslims are half and half. Albania is interesting because it's half and half. Right. It's literally like... They're calling it here a Muslim majority. Yeah, but not by a lot. Check out what the percentages are. And while you do, I'll tell you so... I have Albanian neighbors that are Muslim.

Yeah. These are the countries that do not support it. They do not recognize the Armenian judge side. Turkey officially denies. Says the official position is death occurred during war, not a planned extermination. We have primary documents to say otherwise and evidence. And obviously the Armenians know. Azerbaijan supports Turkey stance influenced by regional conflict with Armenia, like I just told you. Then you got Pakistan, which you can always rely on them.

Yeah. They deny that it happened. Okay. Israel, it's debated internally, but not formally recognized by Israel. Okay, but we know why they're doing that. We know why they're doing that. Some countries in Central Asia, where the Turks are from, they don't like it. Parts of the Middle East and Africa, reject it.

So. Everywhere else accepts it. Over 30 countries, 34 countries formally recognized it now. The United States formally recognizes it. I think just recently, because we were sensitive with Turkey, because Turkey was our ally and, you know, we have our bases there against the USSR. So the United States, so this is a big deal for the Armenians, you know. This is a big deal for the Kardashian family.

Right. The United States officially in 2019 recognized it. So it was not long ago that they officially recognized the Armenian genocide. So it's what it is. It's what it is. So it just passed and it's still a hotly contested issue. And that's just what it is. It's just what it is.

I mean, you know, if you look at the Middle East before Israel, there was programs in Iraq against the Jews. Right. And then after 48, their property was confiscated and they were kicked out of all the Muslim countries. it's just what it is. All those countries are also pretty much religious ethno-states. It's the Middle East infection. It's what it is. It's what it is. I mean, so, you know, when you're watching

the NBA playoffs tonight, think about the Armenian Genocide. Think about the Armenian Genocide. And like we say in history, Ahina's, Armenian women are welcome. They are welcome. They are smoke shows. We are released the babes of Armenia. of Armenia, and a lot of them probably have bushes, and I'm mostly into that lately. I've been watching a lot of porn with full bush.

Yeah, and the Armenian chicks, like, listen, if you're African-American, you want to release the babes of Armenia because they're coming to you first. Yeah, they seem to really like to go that way. Yeah, they're beautiful women, and the men are usually short, fat, and hairy, right? It's what it is.

Any hot Armenian guys, if you could just send us picks at the history an is Instagram or Patreon.com, say, history and is, or at Christycom. if you could DM me hot picks of yourself if you're a hot Armenian guy. Shout out to the Armenians. We recognize the Armenian genocide here at the history hyenas.

Now, because, as always, at the end of every single episode, we like to recognize the newest members of a little place called patreon.com slash history hyenas. We like to think about who the funniest names are. We read out every single name, but we pick the funniest names. Now, the last two weeks have been a little bit, not. as they've been good, not great. But I'm feeling that we have the positive spirits of 1.5 million massacred Armenians that are going to help this list be funny. If anything away, the only way

that we can remember them here on this show is to have a funny list for them. Because we discriminate against nobody. We are funny first here. We love all people, including Muslims, Armenians, especially your women. It's what it is. Yeah. The guys, I mean, you know what? I just don't care as much about them. No, just, they're just hairy and not hot. I just. I just, I just don't care, whatever country you're from, I don't care about the guys as much. I don't care about the guy. I don't care about the guys. I don't want to look at you.

Yeah. I just want to look at your ladies. If you want to ask me where the hottest guys probably live, I'm going to say probably Montenegro and Italy are the hottest guys. That's a good call. Yeah. That's a good call. Swedish guys are good-looking. Swedish guys are hot, too, and they have no fumes.

Nigerian guys are good-looking. Yeah, they're jacked, too. I mean, yeah. If me and jazz ever don't work out long term, I want to have sub-Saharan African wife. That's what you want? Yeah, because a lot of them are Christian and they listen. All right, here we go. Lidefort,

I thought you wanted to go Asian for that reason. No, but I've been thinking about a lady I'd like an African wife. You do? Yeah. Okay. Robert De Niro? Yeah, so what I have to do is,

because she's going to want to have kids, what I have to do is I'll have to stop taking TRT because it shrinks your nuts and you become infert, but what I can start doing is taking a little thing called H-CG, which would get my comeback. Yeah. So it'll get me pumping back with my swimmers. I figure if I ever had to have a black wife,

I'd have to get a penis extender just to get past the cheeks. Yeah, it's what it is right. Here we go. Kyle Claxton. Then we got Epstein Island Cleaning Service. He was going for something. It's just not there, right? Yeah. It's just not there. Stephen Nunez. Tucker Carlson is an F.F. Then we got the spot on my ham candle with no feeling, aka my teenest weanus.

Okay? Going for something. Then we got Sandra D. Footfetchish, aka Camel Toes. Put them on the list. Put them on the list. Put them on the list. Camel Toes. Camel Toes very funny. Yep. Then we got How's your Beam 13?

how's your beam 13? Yeah, how's your beam? Okay, I like it, I like it. Then we got Asian Caucasian cuisines where two Wongs do make it white. Lists. Weiss-on-she-Ain. That's what it is.

Bang, bang. That's a bang-bang. Then we got lost weight, and now my belly flap is a fleshlight. Kid bangs his own belly flap. Put them on the list. Put it on the list. Yes.

The fumes in that thing have to be awful. Oh, yes. Then we got Maximilian Lane, Stephen Santos, Tigers belong to woods, not onto road. Okay. Dr. Quentin Tarantino,

MD certified podiatrist. Okay. Okay. I want Eileen Gou to triple cork 1440 on my face. It's just a request. Yeah. Can I finance the Tim Dillon episode

with a 408 credit score? No, you can. We have a new one up, don't we? We do. I think we do. the $15,000 level. Yeah, that's right.

And it's a real episode. You want to get that? Yeah, it's an actual real episode. Yeah, I mean, if some rich guy wants to buy it, it is an actual real episode. Patreon, Greg Milner, Mala, but Bueno. Then we got, I'm like Richard Gere, but my gerbils are applesauce. Okay?

Put an apple sauce in his ass. Yeah. No ding's protest. We had that one already, though, didn't we? Something similar. Then we got God on my knees and worship Chrissy's peace, so he covered me with the shroud of urine. It's good enough for the list I think so The shroud of urine instead of the shrouded turn

Yeah, I like it I mean it's really good The beginning was a little too much It's almost It's too good We'll never be trusted around my nephew again For letting him listen to this Sincerely thanks for that out

Big Drexler Then we got sniffing seats at the local DES office Okay Clayton Herring James Buchanan's eunuch A.K.A. Just a straight guy Seymour Butes, Queen Lequefa

We've had, we've had Yeah The heavyset ghost of Staten Island Umar's head towels and driveway rugs LLC Ladd of 14 It's a nice chicken figure Driveway rugs It's a chicken figure

Uncle Ross What it is? Way song she ain't Get disparage My roof's leaking worse than my dick Okay That's a chicken figure Lexi Montgomery

Rim to rim toilet shit's gym Okay Drexler Hillary Martz Free Epstein Um Easy on the witch hazel I can't feel my tongue

You're supposed to put it in there Chicken finger Chris Graves Justin Goldner Just a clumsy Frisbee A.K. Wopsy Goldberg Chicken finger

Okay Why do you think we go Whoopsy Goldberg No you make the call No I think it's more of a chicken Your intuition is always right You think it's going over the wall

What are on the list? Put him on the list. All right. We're giving them out today. We feel like this is Oprah. This is an Oprah episode. Everyone gets one. Tyler Bailey, Andrew Aguilera.

Muzzy on meth, call me a rug chaser. Drexler. Dresden Mosh. Yonis, stop exposing O's the Magic Frisbee. Please for your safety. Drexler. Yeah. Claire Starling.

Then we got Jarrell Hackett, Yanni Sin Solo, Tug fan, Dean Grau, Kevin Rowe. Rodotch, Cody Ames, Bay Ridge girl, struck by Jewish lightning once the dings moved in. Okay. Flaming Frisbee fluffer? Fran Moreno, Byron Jones. At what point is it considered a micro piece? Ask him for a friend.

Put him on a list. Okay, there it is. Yeah. He's actually measuring it out. Yeah. Yeah. Very funny. Detonator, a.k.

Mussey cell phone. Undebatable, trans cock feels like real cock. Yeah What about the list? All right, why not? It's not debatable. He's saying he went and he figured it out he's soft. It's undebatable.

Salvatore Costa. They weren't They weren't Oh, they weren't ovens. It was hot yoga. Jesus. Way so cheap. All right.

Erica's today, caught Yanni slurping on Chrissy's skin tag because he thought it was an extra toe. Okay. Cronkey 82. Jeff S. blocking the straight of Hormuz with my ball sack. Eric Fulgerman.

Mama Taylor, rejoined patron, so Christy say my name not high. Okay? He probably, so he, that means he joined when you were on the, when you were on animals. THC Celsius, yeah. Arjun Puriwal. Mom Dani's new whipping pig. Wait, that's the Booty Boo-Diboo Award. Yeah, Arjan Bouti-Buddy-Booty-Boo.

Mom Dani's new whipping pig, help I miss the truffles. I have cash app and I'm not black. A law mandating child support payments, call it the Leroy Father Bill. The Leroy Father Bill yet. He went for something. It's interesting. Drexler. Sidney, please chimney sweep my frisbee meat like a Ziti.

Kids got a request. Very funny. Yeah. Cold Mexican prison cell call it the ice cube. Tired of being robbed by homeless guys. Move. Yeah. Such a squeak that when my son was born, the doctor handed me to him.

Put them on the list. That's very funny. Contender. That's very, very funny. That is a contender. Yeah. Yeah. Contender. It is statistically impossible for there to be no gays in your family.

Drexler. And we got Mike Piazza's squeaky sidepiece. The Mets would have won in 2000 if he ate more pineapple. Okay. Okay. Leroy Jedi, A.C. Jesus Christ. Wased in a one.

23 and me made me three. fifth's the man I used to be. Flat of 14. What do I do with that? It's so good. What do I do it that? It's smart. It's layered. Nick, you have the most

morals on here. What do I do with that? It makes it. I mean, if you want my honest opinion, it's a contender. It's a contender. I believe that. Then we got Anne Frank's meat curtain. Jesus. Way so much. It's awful. It's off. We can't do it. Chicken figure.

Cameron, Wita, Chris Pistana, Noah, Ross, Del Simonson, Benny Two Nuts. Benny Two Nuts gets a chicken figure. Favlon. Then we got adding, turn around and don't wipe to my inner circle because I'm in the program. An actual seven-foot Puerto Rican pro basketball player, Matt Lopez screwed in. Wow. Wow.

That's awesome. Maybe it's him. It is him. Yeah. Thank you, Matt Lopez. Frankie Fafumes. Haley. Grandpa was a Frisbee, but I take the host and have a three-inch post.

Okay. Frisbee. My hairy mac. Lat of 14 Okay Do a few more Yeah Chris Sa de Vida

JG Indian dating app Call it Connect the Dots Oh Jesus Christ Reison she ain't Oh List

It's got to go Dude I mean we got to contend I mean Jesus Christ That's good Yeah Okay Let's just go

We'll finish this Yeah I think we got too many But we got to just Finish Okay Chris Gustepin On Yanis's

Polyphemus Fallen Forks massage parlor T-finger, Gabby You missed one What? Falling Forks massage parlor What's that? Oh, it's a good one

The noise Chinese massage parlor Yeah, yeah, yeah It's hilarious Chicken Finger T-Finger, Gabby LGBTQ punk band Waysocian

Walked it away What did it well What'd Hispanic Hispanic Cause so I got Last night's glue in my hoodie what it is.

I don't get it. Okay. Gay Korean Jew named suck dick Jew. Ladder 14. Chip Skylark. Yoga on Chrissy's lawn. Now I'm the HOA's most wanted.

Right? Eric Grayley. Michael Namanmacher. I hate when they ask for a tip at the dog brothel. Oh, Jesus. Christ. Latter 14.

Yanni's Kegel eyes. Kegelize is good. Chicken finger. Michael Rudnick. Because my aunt will tell me about the Lakers Nuggets game in 03? What is that? Because my aunt won't tell me

about the Lakers Nuggets game in 03. I don't get it. Kobe thing? Oh! Was that 03? That's crazy. Oh, so he's saying that's his aunt. Yeah.

It's a good one. Landon Browder. Tom, I don't know the latest lingo since I'm on Epp 84 and I have to watch them all in order since I'm Franks and Beans. Yeah. It's the best.

way to catch up if you knew. I mean, just one by one. You got a long library to go through. Kirsten, Jose No Fumes-Bez. It was O'3. Wow, so that's what it was. Yeah. Good joke. Colt Sarles, Napoleon Bonaparteed Chrissy's ass. Okay, that's what he did. Tossing salad in the mud kitchen. Oh, Jesus. Matt. Jesse's Tangerine peel Yamika. Way sanchine.

He feels they put out. List. We're at like five contenders. Yeah, I mean, we got to stop at some point. We can't. Yeah. Random. Yeah.

Kay. Way song she ain't. Didn't one. See you coming. The math does check out. Yeah. Sean Jackson, Devin Pember. Chrissy D. Pissy on my knees while Yanni Pee films me's.

Devin Pember. Rick James. Anthony Carston. Connor Andrews. Daniel Gallagher. Pop lock and drop it for sloppy top from Yonis Pappas. Lisa Saccome, Alex Bertram, milk me,

went to the glory hole to get sucked and accidentally got fucked hashtag Chrissy's Wet Dream. Jay, the Nigerian Peace, aka the African booty catcher. Wow. Chrissy D. Yanni Pee, still waiting on my grown-up peen.

Okay. Kyle, Big Pauls, Frank Garcia, Stephen Escobado, and last but not least, Dad's a Leroy, mom got ding-dong ditched. Lad of 14. Yeah.

It's good. Do you want to put on the list? It's good. What do I do? Nick, it's up to you. We got to go to Nick. I thought we had a ding-dong ditch before. Maybe we did.

Okay. Drexler's not going to win, but, you know, Drexler. So I'll give it a Drexler. Okay, so we got, all right. So here we go. By the way, these Armenians that are up there. They're so hot. It's hard to take.

It's like tape. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So here's the list. Sandra D. Foot Fenish, aka Camel Toes. We're going to Drexie.

Thank for playing you're a legend, but you know, Michael Jordan exists. Asian Caucasian cuisines where two Wongs do make it white. Any other day, it's unfortunate. You were on another list. It could work. Lose weight, and now my belly flap is a flashlight. It's a really good one. It's again a Drexler.

Just a clumsy frisbee, aka Whoopsie Goldberg. That's a funny one, but, you know, it's just, you know, any other day. Got on my knees and worship Chrissy's peace, so he, covered me with the shroud of urine? That is really good to me, but it is also, these are all winners. Okay. But you got a Drexler.

It's the list is what it is. Being Clyde Drexer, he's one of the greats. Yeah. So then we got undebatable. Transcock feels like real cock. We're going to Drexer that as well. Any other day. At what point is it considered a micro piece asking for a friend?

Very good. We're going to Drexler that as well. Okay. Such a squeak that when my son was born, the doctor handed me to him. What we're going to do is we're going to keep that in the tent. What? Okay. Okay.

Let's see what it is. Then we got 23 and me made me three-fifths. Man I used to be. We're going to keep that in the tent. That's what it is. Yeah. We're keeping that in the tent. We're keeping it in the tent.

We're keeping that in the tent. Yeah. What it is. Then we got Jesse's Tangerine Peel Yamaca. We're keeping that in the tent. We got a four off. So we got a four off. Yeah.

So we got four a good one. So let me read them again. Yeah. Let me just read them uninterrupting. Such a squeak that when my son was born. the doctor handed me to him. 23 and me made me three-fifths of man I used to be. Indian dating app calling Connected Dots or Jesse's Tangerine Peel Yamaca.

Oh, I love them all for different reasons. So here's what I'll say, just to narrow it down because we got four. I think such a squeak that when my son was born, the doctor handed me to him is hilarious. But just because we have to be nitpicky now, what would have been funnier is if he said such a squeak that when my son was born, the doctor handed me to my wife because he's the baby. Me to him doesn't make sense. We're nitpicking now. We're nitpicking

but we have to. It's still extremely funny but just to be nitpicky. As far as straight funny, he's unfortunately in the wrong era. Yes. It's a Drexler. I mean I liked him because this is the most he was the least controversial

of our picks but unfortunately we are married to the funny. To me it's between three different groups and that's usually comes down to the blacks to Indians and the Jews and it's between 23 and me, maybe three-fifths of men I used to be for the black vote

Indian dating app called Connected Dots for the brown Muslim vote and then Jesse's Tangerine Peel Yamag up for the Jew vote Okay here's the deal here's the deal yeah

these are all equally funny I want you to know that these are all home runs I want you to know that They're home runs for different reasons. Right. The tangerine peel is inside. Right.

So it's inside. So I give you the like attentive fan, real fan award. Right. But I'm going to say, unfortunately, it's the wrong error for you. Okay. You want to want a championship if these other two were around. Now, if you don't know, if you're new to the show, Jesse eats a lot of tangerines. So what this fan is saying is that he's taking the peel and putting it on his head because Jesse is half a Joe.

So it's the funny is off the chart. Okay, so that's off the charts. Connected dots as a dating site is just hard to beat for the funny. It's hard to be for the funny. The thing that scares me about it, though, is did he take it from somewhere? Has somebody said, Google right now Indian dating app called Connected Dots. If we don't find it on the internet at all. I think it's a winner.

Then I think that's the winner because the three-fifths man one is hilarious. But it's a little edgy. It's a little edgy. But it's also hilarious. Yeah. Uh, no? No? Indians typically, no?

No? Funny jokes, what do you call an Indian dating site? Let's see, let's see. Click on Dad Comedy H-Q. See if it's a Dad joke. See down three. That one. Click on that.

Yeah. See what it is. Let's see. Let's see what he says. Have this second largest penis in the ocean. Yeah? When I'm swimming. All, let's see.

What do you get if you stuff? your hand up a chipsy's where she is on her period. Your palm is red. Oh, let's see. What do you call an Indian dating site? No, no, no. Connect the dots. We have.

We got caught. See? Yeah. Because you knew it because it was almost too obvious. Not that I thought of it. Right. But if he did it, he would have been the guy that created it. Yeah.

So for me though, then that brings us to an interesting point. Do we have to, do we resurrect the tangerine from the dead like JC? Because I think 23 mean made me three-fifths the man I used to be is hilarious. But I just think Jesse's tangerine pilliamic also made you laugh the most. And I personally think for this list, the more inside the better. This gives, this gives, you know, an incentive for the fans to really listen. I think. And it's very funny.

I think it's very funny. I think it's funny enough to win. I think three fists of men, let me say something right now. You're a borderline walked into one. You know, I don't know if we can have your name up in lights. That's what is. That's the thing. We can enjoy you.

At the end of the year, you will be in contention for the walk in a walk in a one. You are in contention for a walk into one. Tony, please make note. But this one is going to the Tangerine eater, Jesse Skittoro. Congratulations. Go to history and is it's back. See your name up in lights. You are today's winner.

Jesse's Tangarin. Yamaka. Patreon. Patreon. Every single Thursday, YouTube.com, says history iron is new episodes. Let us know what you want to hear.

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