History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - The Greek General That Ended the Ottoman Empire with his Glue Gun

Episode Date: January 16, 2025

Georgios Karaiskakis might just be one of the wildest figures in history. A Greek mountain rebel and the illegitimate son of a nun, he lived his life with zero concern for conventions. Known for his sharp wit, charismatic presence, self-deprecating humor, and fearless bravery, he was also, by all accounts, a bit unhinged in the best way possible. Karaiskakis played a pivotal role in the Greek Revolution, helping to dismantle Ottoman rule in Greece. His legendary trash talk and audacious personality made him as unforgettable off the battlefield as he was on it. A true national hero, Karaiskakis embodied the spirit of resilience and rebellion. Simply put, he was a human hyena—wild, unpredictable, and undeniably iconic. Support our sponsors: Start your free online visit today at https://Hims.com/HYENAS. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to https://RocketMoney.com/hyenas today. http://lucy.co/hyenas #comedy #Podcast #History Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas/ Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit.ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0 Hyenas Merch!!! https://teespring.com/stores/historyhyenas Follow us Cuz! 🙆🏻‍♂️ Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ 🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ 🐕More Hyenas Website: www.historyhyenasisback.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/historyhyenas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HistoryHyenas Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/historyhyenaspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up history hyenas fans today? We're talking about the Greek revolution and how they shook off the yoke of the Ottoman Empire and a wild wild kid named Yorgos Karisakis one of the most wild figures we have ever had on this show You're gonna want to strap in and strap up this episode is gonna get nuts and for all information go to history Hyenas is back calm We will see you this Saturday at the Lincoln Theater in Washington, D.C. for our first ever live Histraena show. Now enjoy this episode about the Greek War of Independence and Georgios Karaskakis. What's up everybody? Welcome to another episode of History Hyenas. I'm Chris DiStefano, aka

Chrissy Crumini Mushrooms, and with me as always, Yannis Papis, aka Yanni the Fagi Yogurt, with me, Jesse No Wife Scatturo, because we got a fun, fun, fun one today, we're going Greek. We're going Greek today, I was about to say you are Christos. Yes! Christos de Fustanopoulos. Yes, that's who I am. That's who you are in that hat, and I just am Giannis Papas. It's what it is, cuz with this hat on I feel like a sheep.

Yeah, with that hat on, cuz you look like a Greek revolutionary, and you look like a Greek revolutionary and you look like somebody might call you the Turk eater. Yes. Because someone would say, oh is he vicious against Turks during the revolution, which is what we're going to do? Go, no, he likes to eat Turks. He likes to eat their bumholes. I like to eat their bumholes and make no mistake, I'm a Greek kid today and I don't like cold

cut turkey at all and I also now don't. Yeah, we don't today. We're against the Turks. But just for today. Just for today. Other than that, we want you back in it because make no mistake, I like Middle Eastern. I can get to the fumes.

Middle Easterns are hotties. They're Puerto Ricans without the problem. Yeah, like you said, they're probably swim throughs. They are swim throughs. I mean, some of the hottest women in the world probably live in Turkey. Yeah, they live in Turkey, the Turkish people, the arch rivals of the Greeks. Just like with the Chinese episode, China Against the Boys, just for the episode, we were very American, we were against the Chinese, but it was just for the episode.

We love the Chinese. And for this episode, we hate the Turks. And then when the podcast is finished, I will continue hating the Turks. It's what it is. We love the Chinese. I used my Chinese sperm extractor all weekend. So it's what it is. Because here's the truth too. This episode is going to be about the Greek War of Independence, which happened in the 1800s. And we're going to talk about a one of the most wild characters in history. His name is Georgios Karakisikas. Yeah, it's a tzatziki sauce. Is that what it is? His name is Georgios Ibex.

Yeah, now much like when we talked about the history of the Chinese rise to power, there's a lot of names that are even difficult for me to pronounce. So we're just going to call a lot of these people guy. Guy. Yeah. This guy and that guy and then that guy. So this is Georgios guy. Yeah. Kadekissakis this guy, but this guy in the Greek War of Independence is going to be, this is a wild, wild episode. Buckle up. Buckle up. Strap in. I mean, this kid is absolutely nuts and make no mistake, the Greek War of Independence is the only War of Independence I've ever read about that simultaneously while they were fighting a war of independence They were also fighting a civil war amongst each other because they were getting mad about the price of raisins

against each other and it's just Greek people are just franks and beans because Can't unify they never can that's why when they won the Euro Cup they needed a German coach to unify them the city-states always fought that's why yeah Greece could never have like an empire because they were just killing each other and that hat on your head looks like a flower pot it's what it is yeah it doesn't fit yeah I got too big of a head and make no mistake you're having a good hair day today today you have the hair of a 16 year old lesbian And it looks good cuz you think what whoever made these hats popular you think it was just the first guy just took a flower

Pot and put it on his head. I think so. Yeah, I mean what are these things cuz they're square Yeah, I mean they're squares and I try to pull this down, but it doesn't to get it over my head But it doesn't even fit over my head. Yeah, I can't even get it on my head. Yeah now Here's the situation. When I buy a hat, I go to the kid's section. That's not a joke. That's not. That is the true situation of my head size.

Yeah. As I go to the kid's section, I get the largest kid size because the small of the adult is too big. Yeah. And people think when we talk about your head, we're joking. That thing doesn't fit on your head. You have a big head. No, this is, this is, I got, they said a one size fits all, but they forgot to include Christie cause I, it doesn't fit on your head. You have a big head. No, this is, this is, I got, they said a one size fits all, but they forgot to include Chrissy because I, it doesn't fit. Because your head's so big,

I could punch you in the head, still hit your head and miss your head. Yes, that's a truth, and that's a truth Bader Ginsburg. That's a truth Bader Ginsburg right there. Now, because I just want to also say real quick before we get started in this Greek in the war of independence is one thing I've learned too about learning about the Greeks, being your friend. I will tell you that most Greeks, I think 99.9% of Greeks are born with a little bit of sugar in the tank. They all are a little gay. They all got a little sugar in the tank, all of them. Yeah, and they use that sugar to make candy and with that candy they... What it is.

It's what it is. They might have the most sugar in the tank of all the European countries. Yeah, because let's just call it what it is. Ancient Greece was, it was a candy factory. It was Hershey Park. It's what it was. And they were just, they were just using candy, just like I use a black and white to get you the Poughkeepsie. They were just dangling candy and going, come with me boy. And then they would just, what they thought was they were passing the knowledge through the... Yes.

And that's just how it goes. People have different beliefs at different times and they have different rationalizations to make excuses for what they want to do. And at that time, what they wanted to do is they wanted to... It's what it was. It's S-L-O-K-S. Yeah. And it's no bueno now.

It's no bueno now. And we also got to get the it's what it is sound effect in Japanese. Yeah. To have that locked and loaded for-ess. Yeah, and it's no bueno now. It's no bueno now, and we also gotta get the It's What It Is sound effect in Japanese. We'll have that locked and loaded for next episode. Yeah, I missed that one. Because now we're gonna have It's What It Is in Japanese is coming back, and also if you guys are thinking,

you know what's really cute about them? Not the hat, not Yanni's hair, not Jessie's no hair. It's their merch. This sweatshirt right here and this T-shirt that Yanni's got on are available right now at historyhyenasisback.com. Historyhyenasisback.com, we've got all the merch backups, so let's go scoop that up. And this Saturday, Lincoln Theater, 5 p.m., Washington, D.C., go to historyhyenasisback.com

and get those Tiki Wikis, our first live podcast. We have yet to pick the topic, so if you want to tell us what topic we should do, go to patreon.com slash history hyenas. Only way to get involved. And we are going to pick three to five lucky Patreon members and bring them on stage with us. I just decided that in the moment. Yeah, let's do it. Just like you just told two fans downstairs exactly where we record the podcast. And I told them to come to our sixth floor and bring a gun. Because make no mistake to where Jesse's sitting is he's going to get capped first because we are protected by the size of this TV. The TV that we have right now is the biggest TV ever. Cause make no mistake, Chris Attali is Franks and Beans and he's

on the runway. Dude, our merch looks cute. You look cute in that merch. It looks really, really good. And I'll just say it, we have a special guest who's going to be live on the podcast. And of course, Chris is going to say the name. Yeah. January 18th at the Lincoln Theater in DC. We got a special guest. I'm not going to say the guest, but we do have a special, special guest come on to DC. And I swear to God, this is true. And I just have two words to say, Punky Ball. Yeah. Guess who it is after that.

Punky Balls! So Lincoln Theater is going to be absolutely wild. I would say come from wherever you're coming from. If you're in the Northeast and the original 13 colonies, get there. And then obviously, you know, the big guys getting inaugurated that Monday. So if you want, oh, I'm not going to be there for that. Yanni's going on a trip and I can't go. I got to go get... Bagels from the Bagels store.

That's what I gotta do. Yeah, I can't remember what I gotta do on Monday. Actually, you know what? I might stay to watch the big guy get in. You might. Yeah. Yeah. So his name is Yorgos. Yorgos. Like George. This is the guy we need to tell you about. This is the character of all characters. This guy is wild strapping. Go ahead. Yeah. Yorgos Karaskakis. That's how you say it. And he is a hero in Greece. Yeah. Even though at times he fought against other Greeks. He was just a bandit that lived in the mountains. He was one of these mountain people, these mountain Greeks. And say that name again. Yorgos Karaskakis. That gets translated into, I don't like black people. That gets translated into, I don't like black people. He don't like black people. Yeah.

No blacks people. No Jews. No. This guy really, really, it's funny because where the biggest like, uh, uh, the one of the biggest stadiums in Greece is named where they play soccer. Is it called Georgios Stadium or Karaskakis? Karaskakis. Karaskakis Stadium.

He's a national hero, even though at the time a lot of Greeks had mixed feelings about this guy, but ultimately that's what this Greek revolution was about. Greeks in fighting, but then they united because they had a common enemy, and that common enemy was their day's Chinese. Yes, exactly. The Turkish. It's just what it is. Now, here's what's wild about Georgios Kariis Kakiis is because, first of all, the kid's mom was a nun. So isn't that wild? The kid's mom took a vow of celibacy to never have sex and then got banged out and had this kid. Yeah. Yeah. So he grew up constantly being ridiculed, constantly be calling a bastard and stuff. And what this kid did is he just owned

it. He yes and. He yes and. He owned it. And then he topped what the people would say. So the people, when the kids called his mom a whore, he said, yeah, she took 50,000 cocks. Yeah. My mom's a whore. I'm a bastard. Yeah. He just loved it and he owned it. And he became a charismatic, funny kid who everyone loved during the Greek Revolution His men loved him. Men loved him. Yeah, he started doing it. Chrissy needs it. I think that's gonna be your new hat Yeah, wear it. It's a wild right now. It's Greek Chrissy is a fucking wild Chrissy Yeah, it is. Going wild and also what's wild, so we got to get that part out, but it'll be fine But also what's wild about George Yoskotis, Skaki's, is the kid not only was raised by a nun,

he was also raised in a cave. They raised this kid in a cave. Yeah. And what we'll find out is the kid was also very dark-skinned. So the Greeks, his own people used to basically like call him racial slurs. Yeah, they called him racial slurs. And it's something that really took with Yorgo who really loved racial slurs. Now what's Yorgo? Is Yorgo like George? So George is Yorgo. Yeah, George is Yorgo. But this is not Yorgo Karaskakis.

This is Yorgo Karaskakis. In Greek when you're talking to the person or with affection you call him Yorgo. Like if you were being affectionate to me you'd call me Yanni or Yanaki and then if you were talking about me to someone else you'd say Yannis or if you're me, you'd call me Yanni or Yanaki. And then if you were talking about me to someone else, you'd say Yannis. Or if you're being formal, you'd say Yannis. Yeah, you'd bow to me and say Yannis. Myfuryannis. You would never say Myfuryannis because that means we're boys. We're boys, yeah. Got it, got it. Okay. I think they, like, because they love this guy, he was very chummy, they just always called him Yorgo. Yorgo. And the kid, but he was also known in Greek, I don't know what it turns to, but they used to call him Orphan Little Bastard.

Yeah. That's what they would call him when he would run around. Yeah, they just really teased this kid, and then this kid decided that he was just going to own it. He was also small, and he was ruthless. So this was during the time of the Greek Revolution. This is when the Greeks finally jettisoned, good word. Good word. If you don't know, get smarter. Yeah. They jettisoned the yoke of the Ottoman Empire, and they were the first people to do it against the Ottomans and the Balkans. Yeah. And they inspired a bunch of nationalist movements after that, but the Greeks said we had had enough. Right. And they started a revolution. Yeah. And they started fighting the Turks. Here's one thing that was very interesting about Greeks that you just learned is that

I always just assumed that Greeks kind of were, it was always Greece as it was, had your problems, whatever. But this whole idea of like Socrates, Greece, and this ancient Greece, that was lost for thousands of years. Nobody did that. And then for 400 years, like if you lived in that 400 year period between like the, I think the late 1400s to the 1800s, you would only know, Greece was not a unified country. It wasn't even a country that existed. It was a property of Turkey. That's just how it was. And before that it was a property of the Byzantine Empire, Rome. They called themselves Romans. They called themselves Romans. They called themselves Romans.

Up until the 1800s. They were still referring to themselves as Romans, which is wild because the 1800s was not that long ago. Like there's an ancestor. I was born in the 1800s. Exactly. Yeah. It was not that long ago. Well, didn't you have a grandfather or great grandfather who was actually born into Ottoman rule? Is that a Ruth? Is that a truth baiter? Truth baiter. Tell us about that. That is it. Tell us about that undercover. So I'm sorry, instead of saying that, just know when we say UCF, that's when we say the kid went to, if kids go to UCF, that means they're an undercover. Yeah. So if the kids go, so your grandfather went to UCF. He went to UCF. He played ball at UCF. We all actually go to UCF and make no mistake There's someone out there listening right now that's listening to this at UCF and is also going to UCF

Yeah, it's a double entendre for him. So you could be enrolled at UCF, but you're not going to UCF But there's a few that are enrolled at UCF and you're going UCF Yeah, there are a few of them out there and you know who you are. It's what it is So yeah, so the Ottomans took control, right? They conquered all the way down. Who are the Ottomans? They're Turkic people. They migrated down nomadic tribes that came down from like Central Asia. But they're not Arabic, right? They ruled over Arabs. They converted to Islam and they- Are the Turks not- They're not Arabs. They're not considered Europeans. No. So what are they then?

But they have to be, where would Turkey be? Does Turkey lay on the landmass of Europe or the landmass of the Middle East? It's the Middle East. Or is the Middle East in Europe? No, the Middle East, they're in the Middle East. They're in Turkey, it's kind of in the Middle East. Got it. Yeah, yeah. Wow. It's right there, but it's right next to Greece, right? But they conquered all that area. They got the Albanians who converted. Yeah, the Albanians converted. They got the Bosniaks. The Bosnians, they converted. When you say converted, you mean that they went muzzy.

They went muz. They went muzzy. They went muzzy. That's okay. Once you go muzzy, things get a little fuzzy. Buzzy is what it is. That's why we Once you go muzzy things get a little fuzzy That's why we're gonna give you a beeper and hit a buzzy Way strong she ain't that was a patreon Patreon name that was just obviously I'm sure that was a lot of 14 patreon name called that would have been your girls Got us got these favorite patreon name every time he would have chose the most racist as the winner. It's what it is.

The kids like to be racist. As most Greeks do, because you're literally the most non-racist Greek I've ever met, and your famous video is you dressed in a wig saying the N-word. Yeah. And you're the most least racist Greek I've ever met. The thing about Greeks is they only love Greeks, and they really have racial jokes about every other ethnicity, including Italians. They don't even want you to marry an Italian. My mother-in-law married an Italian, she was disowned by her family. What it is is how it goes. Yeah, it's just that they look

at Italians as all criminals. A lot of you guys have been asking how... And they hate you. They hate us Germans. Yeah, a lot of people have been asking on the Patreon or even on the YouTube of saying, Hey, why isn't Venetian on the podcast anymore? And the truth is it wasn't our choice. It was her family's choice. She actually is dating a kid that lives in Mexico. So she's not allowed back in the country, not from the government, from her family, from her family. So that she just can't come back to the US. It's unfortunate. And she just can't work for Mexico. Yeah. And also as a Greek, I just found it inappropriate that a Greek woman was working Yeah, I don't like that don't like though. I want you back in the village and I want you making the soup

Ah, yeah, what you making Dolma this and I want you making Spanish coffee Kitchen it's what it is But if you do want to have a vanity of signing you just got to go to Central Park and look for the rock climbers Then you'll see her up there smoking cigarettes, drinking wine, sitting on the rocks. Yeah, or you could go to Los Angeles and see her starting fires. It's what it is. And I wouldn't be surprised just because she just has superior brain is we're still probably paying her somehow and I don't know how. Shout out Venetia with this.

Wait, did you say she has a superior brain? Yeah, Should I? Yeah. Um. Well, she does it! Oh, she does it! Right, because she's a girl. She's a girl.

And Greeks don't look at girls as, as, right. As equals. As equals, right. Yeah, absolutely. No, that's a joke. But, so the Greek Revolution started in 1821 after about 400 years of second class citizenry, basically slavery. But there was some Greek merchants who were able to rise up and do very well. The success of the Ottoman Empire, which was the juggernaut of that time, they were the big boys on the map.

They were like the Americans. They were like the United States at that time, was they were very smart about their empire and they let the religions keep their religions. They just had to pay a thing called the Dima, I think it was called, which is you just got to pay a special tax. So they weren't- They extorted you. They weren't trying to, they weren't killing Greeks if they didn't convert to Islam. And what they said, you can go be Greek, pagan, Catholic, worship the goats, whatever you Greeks want to do. Yeah. Get a block of f, worship the goats, whatever you Greeks want to do, get a block of feta cheese, pray to whatever you guys want to do, we're fine with this, you just got to pay us some money and we're okay.

We're okay. They did that to the Jews and the Greeks were Christians. Right. So there's no Greek Muslims, very few. Is there anybody? Next to none. Is there anybody from who lives in Greece right now who's like, you know, name was, you know, Yanni Poupadoupis,

whatever, that's converted to Islam or it almost never happens, like unheard of. It happens, but it's almost unheard of. It's almost unheard of. Is that the biggest sin you can have? Yes! Is that, that's number one? With that, I don't know, from a Greek family's perspective? What would, like, a Greek father, what would be the worst thing his daughter could do besides- Bring home a Turkish man. If you brought up a Turkish man, it would be bad.

It would be, I think, yeah, all of it would be bad if you're a Greek father and you got a Greek daughter. It would all be bad if you brought home anyone who's not Greek, but I think top of the list would probably be Turk. Turk, can't bring home a Turk. I think it would be tough. Got it. I think it'd be tough. I don't know, Maverick and Turk are the two tough ones. What is? Tough ones for the Greek father. Yeah, it's what it is. That was tough. Because our names are Turks and Crisos. Yeah, because I had a friend who, when I was in college, right, we worked together at a job. This is the guy you didn't, you didn't hook up with this guy. This was a girl. This Greek, okay. This was a girl. Because Greeks just are like, he's my friend. Yeah,

we had sex on the battlefield, but it's what it is, we're not gay. Yeah, no, exactly, you're not gay, it's warrior stuff. She got disowned by her father because I called the house and I was a Greek, he didn't know. God, and so she was like a wasp kind of thing? No, she was a Greek, and he just didn't like that there was a boy calling the house. But even though you were Greek, it was okay,

but it shouldn't have been okay because you're a Greek? That's just how extreme the Greek fathers can be. Got it. They got a real hold on those Greek daughters. That's why they have to start a Greek daughter underground railroad to escape these fathers just because they want to maybe date like a Serbian. That's why they have a whole island there called Lesbos. Yeah, because they're all lesbians.

Because that's where lesbians came from, because Lesbos became what it became with all lesbians because Greek fathers wouldn't let them date men so they just started banging at each other. That's exactly, that's a truth, that's a historical fact. That's what happened is fathers fought, fathers created lesbians. Yes, so you're not really lesbians, it's just you're rebelling against your father but you know that's why, because somebody's got to be the boy one. Someone's got to be the boy. Someone's got to be able to lift the boxes and bring them into the house. Somebody's got to be able to pick up the Amazon box. That's what

it is, Cud. Somebody's going to be able to reach the top cabinet. There's got to be one boy one. Now this kid. And she is the Fire Chief of Los Angeles. Yes. Cud's just women firefighters. That's why your city burned down. It's just what it is. Yeah, okay. Shout out to the people of LA. Hope everyone's doing well now. Yeah, hope everyone's doing all right. All right, here we go. Giorgio Scari-Scarchis? Giorgio Scari-Scarchis. Oh, he's got notes?

Giorgio Scari-Scarchis. Yeah, look at Patti the fatty. Here we go. So Giorgio Scari-Scarchis, he was a well-known klept. You know what the kleps were? Yeah, I think, yeah. Do you pronounce it klept or kleptes? I don't know.

Either way, yeah, they were kleptos. Kleptos. Kleptos or kleps. And they were Greek guerrilla fighters who resisted the Ottoman rule during the Ottoman domination. The whole way through. The whole time. So you had from 1453 to 1821 is when the Ottomans ruled Greece. For this whole period, you had Greek guerrilla fighters. So you had generations of people just like,

we are Greek guerrilla fighters. And they lived in the mountains and the mountains are always difficult for any occupier to conquer. Even the Nazis. Even the Nazis. Very difficult. Like the Montenegrians who will probably do an episode about once in a while, my friend Marco's Montenegrian, they were never got. Right. The Ottomans never got them. They everywhere. Marco's a Montenegrin in Paris. Yeah yeah that's another version of the song. Montenegro in Paris yeah yeah yeah I think that was Kanye and Jay-Z. Yeah yeah So they couldn't ever get these guys. They would hide in the mountains.

They'd come down. They'd rob wealthy Greek merchants who were in bed with the Turks. They'd rob Turks. They robbed everybody. They didn't care. They were just guerrilla fighters and they resisted the Turks as well. So this kid, Georgios Gordis Kakis, was just one of these guys, one of these cleps. And it's interesting because he was that guerrilla fighter.

He liked to, he you know scrappy guy and then the Albanian see Albania back then a lot of the because they were kind of on the Turkish side that conquered and they converted and they were Albanians they don't fuck around on the Patriot as well say because you know that I family in the Ridgewood area Which is where Albanian territories just want to know I did not say that that was yummy And if you want you could DM me I will give you his address as long as you keep my family out of harm's way Yeah, we're gonna have to even tackle that one on the page. You don't want to fuck with that Yeah, cuz they're a little crazy So the Albanians the Albanians at this time what they had a Sultan in placing his name was Ali Persia and Ali Persia arrests

He arrests George O. Scott his cock is for just being a klept for just running around killing people Sultan in placing his name was Ali Persia and Ali Persia arrests he arrests George's got his cock is for just being a klept for just running around killing people stealing and circumcised being a fucking maniac just like Christ and then but Pasha most nine times out of ten these guys get killed yeah if you if you get arrested by the Sultan you're gonna get killed they don't want to deal with you get him out but instead they decide to only torture Khadija's cock is because Ali Persia knew Khotty Cockus his mom because he probably banged her out.

So he was probably banging the mom in the harem. This reformed nun was just getting banged out all day. So the kid escaped death because his mom was a toot. Yeah, his mom being a toot saved his life there. Yes. Which is very- Because that's the only, in those days, if I knew your mom, I only knew her and I would only not, I would only spare the son's life if I banged her out.

Yeah. And didn't he even ask Gadeskakis, like, what should I do with you? And he was like, I don't know if I was you. Yes. I'll tell you. I would take me on my team or I'd throw me off a cliff. He goes, he goes, when Ali Persher, because what happens is he's then, so he lets him, he just torches him, right? And then he leaves, you know, Gaddes, Kakas is back in the world, and then Ali Pasha starts a war with, you know, he just let this guy free, and then there's a war that starts out, and Gaddes, Kakas attacks Ali Pasha again, and Ali Pasha's like, what the fuck are you doing? I just gave you a life!

Yeah, what's up with you, guy? Now you're trying to kill me. They're like, you're like a little Greek fucking diner monkey. I can't get you out of here. So Ali Pasha recaptures him and it's like now I'm definitely gonna kill you Yeah, but but again, there was this likeability to this guy where Ali Persha recaptures The reason is everything it's everything and he says and he says what should I do with you and Kadi Kakas says? If I were you I'd either make me a boss or throw me in the lake. Yeah, that's what he said Yeah, the guy was bold. He did. Here's the thing about it, this kid. He had no fucks to give. This kid gave no fucks.

No, he doesn't give fucks. So, Ali Persha says, so he says that to Ali Persha. So, Ali Persha makes him a bodyguard, but the kid was only like 5'3". So, Georgia, so he was 5'3", and he was dark skinned, and he was suffering from tuberculosis. So, that's a pretty shitty bodyguard where they sang like he would curse a lot he had a dirty mouth he would flash his balls at Ali Purchase son yeah take his dick out so Ali Purchase wife was like we can't have this little fucking this diner monkey spitting up blood showing everyone his balls but Ali Purchase was like the kid is fucking hilarious he was basically saying he's like but babe this fucking guy is the best

he goes I don't even want to kill him because he's just running around like a nut. Yeah. And here's the thing about him. Sometimes he'd fight with the Turks. He he wasn't really aligned with anyone. Now he wasn't like a Greek pride guy. He would fight with the Turks. They fight with the Greeks. They fight with the Turks again.

It didn't matter. You know, he did. He spun the wheel, spun the wheel. He did not give a fuck. Here's the Georgios, Scotty's, Caucasus was the definition of a guy who was for the table. He was for the table. He literally any militia that wanted him, he was for the table. You just had to make a nice offer on him. What it is, by the way, shout out the waiter from the restaurant I went to on Saturday

who brought over, we were sitting dinner with just the jazz and the kids and then he comes over with he had a plate of fettuccine Alfredo we didn't order and the jazz goes oh that must be for the wrong table he goes no no ma'am this is for the table. Yeah that happens. He put a fettuccine Alfredo. Not only did he know the term but he knew that not to give me an appetizer for the table when you're at a restaurant you got to order an entree. Yeah. And put that right in the middle. So that's for the table. Yeah. Yeah. Fellas if you've lost your hair it doesn't mean you can't find it again. Right.

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goals faster with Rocket Money. Right now, go to rocketmoney.com slash hyenas. Today, right now, that's rocketmoney.com slash hyenas, rocketmoney.com slash hyenas. So, yeah, so this kid, as Yanni was saying, so it was wild about him, was the kid just didn't care, because a lot of Greeks, Greeks have a lot of pride, and this kid had a lot of pride, but he had a little pride in himself. Not necessarily the Greek identity. I think deep down, he was a survivor. He hated the Turks the most, because when he was called, when he was called to fight,

he became a general and he fought the Turks. And in one battle, he actually stood up on like a rock wall or something like that and he fucking mooned them. He took out his ass and his balls and he got shot in the nuts. So this is what Jan is referring to is in June 8th in Cambodia, I don't know if Cambodia is in Greece or Turkey, I don't know where these fucking places are. I just know it's not in one of the original 13 colonies, so I don't care. Yeah, to be honest, I don't know either. Cambodia, so this June 8th, 1820, they're fighting this war. I don't even know at this point

what side Georgios Karikakis is on. He could be on the Greeks, he could be on the Albanians, he could be on the Turks. I don't know, but I just know the kid's fighting. So they are winning this victory. Whatever side Karikcock is on is winning and out of nowhere Cottycock is just climbs up on a boulder and just pulls his ass and balls out and An enemy shoots him in the ass and it goes through his dick and balls and asshole Yeah, just get shot in the ass and then he says and then so he gets fucked up Yeah, and then so he goes into hiding because he's got his dick balls and asshole got a trifecta I mean at this point the kids got tuberculosis and now he's got a fucking shot off day

Yeah, he's got a bullet to dick in the ass. So then out of nowhere, this is what does happen So then out of nowhere he gets shot in the ass and then he just goes he just goes in hiding and he realizes He's in a Turkish state. He's actually in Turkish state, he's not in Greece anymore, because he just runs away from the battle. So he then just sends a letter to the Greeks and he goes, basically, hey, I'm with the Turks now, but if anything goes down and you guys want me to come back all good, just send me a letter. So they're like, what the fuck?

He sends this to like the head of Greece at the time. So then when Pasha, Ali Pasha, one of these sultans comes and says, comes to ask him in person, he says, he's in Turkey, he goes, kneel before me in person. They will behead you for this. He goes, if you don't kneel, he goes, kneel for me in person. Pasha goes, kneel for me in person to Georgios Gadiakakis. And he goes, okay. He goes, I asked my dick and it refused. So the kid has his dick, he says no, and normally that would behead him, but it got such a big laugh in the court that they just let him go. Yeah. Here's the thing about the kid. If there was a catchphrase that he could have,

it would be, let me consult with my dick. Yeah. So he always just told whoever asked him anything pretty serious when his life was on the line, or when they were making demands or trying to negotiate some sort of ceasefire or treaty or for him to give in he would always just say okay first let me consult with my dick let me consult my daddy go i asked my dick and my dick said fuck you so we want you guys to go out there and just consult with your dick a little bit and film it and let us know and hit it at patreon.com such history heinous we want to see you consulting with your dick before anything before you buy a house I want you to tell the real estate broker let me consult my dick. That's how you know this guy was out of his fucking mind. Yeah kid would have a meeting with his dick and ask his dick questions and say what should

I do and his dick would say tell him fuck you. It's what it is because I've had a couple of meetings with my dick and my dick would say I'm too sick to talk to you My dick would say I got a runny nose I've had a couple of talks with my dick too like listen Listen, you gotta grow come on. It just won't do it It won't do it and the kids have little dicks and the thing is what I was Fascinating about did you ever talk with your dick and you said come on like girls? Yeah, your dick said fuck you. Fuck you. Yeah with your dick and you said, come on like girls. Yes.

And your dick said, fuck you. Fuck you. Yeah, my, yeah. I mean, I got so many, I think my dick would give me STDs on purpose and say, we don't want pussy. We want man's ass. Because, but, but what's interesting about Georgia,

Oskadi, Skakas and the, just the Greeks in general is there's a part of this war where they are advancing against the Turkish troops and they're advancing and they're doing well and they can absolutely crush the Turks and just be done out of the Ottoman Empire. And then for no reason whatsoever, the troops start having a civil war with each other where the Turkish are just watching them fight each other like what are these guys doing? And then history tells us that the reason they started fighting is because they were raisins. Turkey had a lot of raisins and and they were getting mad, these generals on the Greek army were

getting mad at each other, who was going to get more of the raisins? So they just started killing each other and the Turks just ran away free. Well, you remember what raisins were from the first run of history hyenas. What were they again? When you're like, just a couple of guys, remember with like in the cereal or something, just a couple of raisins in there? Yeah. We had something with the raisins.

Do you remember what it was? It was something like that. Like you like your cereal with a couple of raisins. With a couple of raisins. But the raisins were guys. Raisins were guys. So maybe they were fighting over guys. Who knows? So yeah, the Greeks started infighting. At first, the guerrillas, so there was the kleptos. Can you go back to that? The kleptos. And then there was the armatoli. Now the armatoly were the same thing as the kleptos, but I'm just waiting for Jesse to get it out. Jesse Slowfingers. Yeah, Jesse Slowfingers, get it. But I do remember, so they were hired, they were employed, they were assigned by the Ottomans to go kill the kleptos, to start the kleptos. So they would hire these Greeks, and the Greeks

would say, hey, we're loyal to you or whatever, but ultimately they would switch sides and they'd become the kleptos, and the kleptos would come to Armatoli. They just kind of switched sides. It was impossible to know who's who. Yeah, they didn't know who's who because they were all just living in the mountains, and then the Armatoli would be like, all right, we're up here with the sanction of the Ottomans, but we're going to go steal some shit too, and then they become kleptos, so they just went back and forth. And Yorgos himself did both. Right.

He did both. He would be armatoli, he would be kleptos, he didn't give a fuck. These were mountain people that just fucking lived by their own law, raided. I mean, there was no cell phones back then, there was no cars, so the Ottomans didn't know what these guys were doing. They didn't know what they were doing, and as we said, these guys were just kind of for the table, and this was what it was. Now, Greek armly as Yana said is a Christian Greek militia man who served under the Ottoman Empire as he said and they were hired to fight these Greeks, but they would all just switch sides and it didn't matter. And the Greek war, this Greek war of independence, I think if you and I, because we like to put ourselves in that situation, I think here's what would happen is I would just be, I would be, we both be UCFs, 100%. We both be

UCF, but that was okay back then. I think you would definitely be a stoic Greek and you would be all for the cause. And I would probably be born a Turk. But then at some point, I was just telling everyone I was Greek. Like I told everyone I was Italian because it was better for my comedy So I think I was just I think I was probably just like I was just like I'm an undercover German But I told him when I'm Italian. I think I'd be an I think I'd be a Turk an undercover Turk But I tell everyone I'm Greek. Yeah, and you would have figured me out when you say, you know what? I like this kid where I'm not gonna I'm not gonna write it out This kid is fucking funny cuz he's just water village and sold it. Yeah, he couldn't walk to a fetus store. He's wild.

Yeah, he's a wild kid. Yeah, because he just banged a 400 pound hippopotamus. Yeah. So Yorgos Krasnokis, his wife cheated on him. Did he? Did she? Yeah. And then he said to all his men, he said, whoever fucks her first gets like 50 grand.

She's a whore. Yeah. Which is great. He didn't like her. He had some great quotes about that. Yeah, I want you to read some of these quotes because Yannis sent us these quotes last night at like 2 a.m. and I started reading them. I was laughing hard, but I was like, Yanni has to read these as Mr. Bonos. Yeah. So the Greeks started infighting a lot because they had these different rulers, right? There was a couple of generals. The main guy who was really was

Colo, what was his name? Colo, Colo Cotronis was the main dude. Theodore Colo Cotronis. He was a real like brilliant tactician. He was, he was trained under the British. This guy Church, and who actually ended up joining the fight towards the end. What kind of Greek name is Church? No, Church was a British guy. Okay. Who came down.

Once this Hellenic movement started, once the Europe and the powers that be, which were basically Britain, France, and Russia at the time, and the Russians said that they were the de facto protectorate of all Christians in the Ottoman Empire. So the Russians and Ottomans always had beef, and a lot of it was a religious beef. Some of it was Black Sea control and wanting territory, but a lot of it was just a religious war. It's always been Christian versus Muncie. It's what it is from the beginning of time. That's the fucking Knicks versus the Lakers. It's what it is. It's the Lakers Celtics. It's the Lakers Celtics, old school. Yeah. It's Yankees Red Sox. It's Yankees Red Sox.

That's the rivalry. And so they started to gain a lot of sympathy for the Greek cause and a lot of intellectuals and poets started trying to convince their political leaders and military leaders of their countries to help out the Greeks, but they didn't want to do it. Right. Initially. And then they did towards the end. But there was one guy, Lord Byron, who had a lot of money, who fucking went himself and was fighting and funding the Greek Revolution. He was a British romantic poet, so this kid was also probably UCF. He was probably UCF. He was UCF. Yeah, they just loved the Greeks, you know, it's like romantic. They loved what the Greeks gave to Western civilization. They loved that the Greeks were Christian, so they were constantly pressuring their governments to help the Greeks out, and eventually the French and Russians and British

did and that's what ended up turning the tide. But before that, Kolokotronis was the guy, he was just fucking picking off Turks. I think they called him the Turk eater. I think his nickname with him or somebody else became known as the Turk eater. I think it was him. But then the Civil War was happening. There was power struggle for control. Some dude actually put him in prison but then when the Turks reattacked using the Egyptian guy some Egyptian guy's son the guy who's running Egypt yeah fucking Muhammad Atta Sultan Mehmed I think his name was the second just fucking he was like he was losing over there he was like I'm not giving this land to these dirty fucking Turk right dirty Greeks yeah they called the Greeks they had a slang a slang, they had a term that they

called the Greeks, maybe we could turn it up. It was like, they basically had an N-word for Greeks. And we got to find out what it was. But he was like, I'm not letting them win over here. So he was like, he said to his guy over in Egypt, who was basically autonomous, because he was a strong guy, and then good Navy, he goes, send your son up there and retake this land from these God damn Greek N-words. And You can have full control whatever you take. From these goat fuckers. Yeah, so this guy came while the Greeks were having a civil war and he started just mowing shit down and then they let Kolokotronis out of prison because he was a good fighter and

go fight the Turks. So the Greeks were constantly fighting with each other. The only thing that unified them is when the Turks came and they had to fight the Turks. It's what it is. So that Turkish slang, they were called rum. Yeah, they were called rum. Greeks were called rum, which translates to Roman and it's derived from how Byzantine Greeks refer to themselves as Romaleo. Yeah. Roman, so rum. So they would just call them rums.

Basically, which meant scum. Scum. Yeah, they were just scum. Scum rum. Yeah. Now, can we go back, can we go back, Jesse? Can you put up what the Ottomans called the Turks though? Do that. Let's get that.

And then, and then, because I want, I want to get to the parts where we read, where Yanni reads some of the written down historically factual quotes that Georgis Gades Gakis literally said and wrote in letters to like really important people that would kill him. And how the kid used to talk was wild. Yeah, he was a wild kid. So he famously- Can we, can we pull it up Jesse? Yeah. Yeah. This is big news in Greece. This letter is a big deal. So this kid is a hero in Greece that the children know about. Oh they know about this kid. Who can we say he's similar to an American history like this? There's nobody who talks like this guy. No. I'm trying to think who... Somebody who just

ran his mouth... David Duke? David Duke I I was gonna say. Somebody who just ran his mouth, is an American hero, and brought us out of the Civil War. That's Donald Trump. He's kinda like a little Donnie T-ish. He's our Donnie T. He's a little Donnie T-ish. I like this guy, he's like Donnie T. Yeah, he really does shoot off at the mouth. He sent a letter in response to Rezid Mehmed Pasha, who was basically the viceroy in Athens. So at this time, the Ottomans still had control of Athens. You know, the Venetians were in there

for a while too. Venetians were like Italians, Venetians, they had some control of Greece at this time too. Little areas, right, that weren't in the Ottoman control. But Athens was in Ottoman control. So he sent the letter back to him when that guy was basically saying, hey man, just surrender, we'll give you riches, we'll give you whatever. So he writes- This is April 20th, 1827. Yeah, April 20th, 1827, which is a day that will live in Greek infamy. This is General Georgios Garisakis. Yeah, General Georgios writes back, I'm just reading the letter. Can you read it as pono so we have a little spin on it?

Absolutely. It's sub. Yes. And by the way, yes, let me, I'm sorry, this is him just reading the letter. Any of our Muslim brothers and sisters out there, we love you. We are not saying this. This is Georgios saying this. So please don't, I don't want to fuck, I'm not fucking with you. No, we're not. It says, this is what he said. Okay. This is the act, this is a historical, this is hard for you to accept that this is a historical document. This kid wrote this word for work. This is not my opinion, this is what he wrote, a word for where it's a historical, it actually is a historical document. It's history, okay? This is a part of a major happening in history.

Yeah. So, he says, To Reset Mehmet Paska Puthany in Athens. Fuck your... What do you think you're doing? Cocks? Don't you have shame asking to negotiate with a Koja shit sultan? Mehmedite? Let me shit on him and your vizier and that Jew, Silitarar Bodah, that bitch, if I live I will fuck them, if I die they will

fart on my dick. Yes, not even on my dick, he goes fart my dick. Fart my dick. The General Yorios Karaskakis, 20 April 1827. Yeah, that's what it is. That's just a historical document, that's what it is. It's just a historical document. That's what it is. I am not taking the...

I'm just reading what he wrote about those. And that's what the kid said and that is just absolutely wild and he sent that for real. He sent that for real. You know like sometimes you'll send an email or a text and you'll screenshot and send your friends back, imagine I said that but of course we never said that that kid really said that kid put it in the mail Yeah, basically he did not give a fuck whether he lived at that You know part of his cuz a kid had tuberculosis So he knew he was on the runway constantly in the beginning and he had no fucks to give cuz he goes fuck it if

I live I will fuck them meaning I will kill them Yeah, fuck them in the ass and if they kill me they can fart on my dick doesn't matter I will kill them and fuck them in the ass. And if they kill me, they can fart on my dick. Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Because fart on my dick is hilarious. Is there any way to say you don't give a shit about nothing? Yeah.

Somebody's threatening you, you go, I don't give a shit what you do with me. Fart on my dick. Fart on my dick. I wanna personally thank the people over at Lucy for sending me a ton of nicotine pouches. As you know, I'm a nicotine kid. You are. Lucy's nice. You got that 8 milligram option. I like it a lot. Yeah. I like it a lot. I love Lucy cuz it's

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Shop now at NoFrills.ca. Chemical. I can guarantee you one thing and one thing only, the amount of Patreon names we're going to have over the next few weeks that somehow incorporate Fart on My Dick and UCF are going to be in the thousands. Or let me consult my dick. Or let me consult my dick. First, let me ask my dick. Oh, let me first. Let me let me ask my dick Yeah, this kid constantly told everyone. Yeah, I'm gonna ask my dick and then I'll get back to you It's what it is, which is basically saying go fuck yourself. I don't give a fuck. Yeah. Yeah, and it's a beautiful thing

So this is and this is one of many one of many quotes and things that he said that were just wild now the kid Georgios he keeps fighting, you know, cause the kid just was a fighter fighter fighter. And, um, at one point, uh, of course, all things gotta come, all good things gotta come to an end. And Georgios eventually one day is, you guessed it, gonna get fucking killed in battle by doing something stupid. Yeah. And this is after his dick got shot off. He continued to fight.

He got shot by the,. Yes. Oh, yes That's a good very good. He got his balls shot off his ass dick and balls got shot. Yeah, completely off Yeah, yeah, just just because he was moaning them So what you don't recommend you don't want to recommend that when the other sides got guns in their shoe No, you don't want to just stand up high on a boulder and show your asshole to them So they're fighting they're fighting in in in war, you know, in one of these battles against Mustafa Bey Turk, Mustafa Bey, who was one of the most famous Turk-Albanian leaders, right?

Okay, now, Bey's, you know what Bey's were? No, tell me. They were basically viceroys. Okay. So the Romans had viceroys. So Bey's were basically governors of the provinces. So those were the guys that basically ran that part of the empire for the Sultan. Got it. So, this guy's a famous one, Mustafa Bey, and he,

in this battle, he gets, actually gets injured. So, he, back at those days, and this is just what would happen, if you got injured, you did not want to get taken by the other side. So, they had these packs where Mustafa Bey had a pact with his brother. He said, if he gets injured, just to get taken by the other side. So they had these packs where Mustafa Bey had a pack with his brother. He said if he gets injured, just to get, just he had his brother kill him because he was like, I'd rather you kill me because to what the Greeks are going to do to me and vice versa, it's going to be no bueno. So Georgie wins that battle. And then as a trophy, he takes 300 heads of Turks and Albanians, like prominent Turks and Albanians. And he just rolls out into the town with just 300 Turks and Albanians heads. Yeah. rolls out into the town with just 300 Turks and Albanians heads. And people are kind of now starting to be like, he's definitely a hero,

but they're like, George, you're getting a little wild. Yeah, the kid was wild. And the confusing thing was you had Albanians who were Christian that would fight with the Greeks, and then you had Albanians who were Muslim who would fight with the Sultans. So it was very confusing. And then you had formerly Christian Greeks who were fucking brainwashed. Now the Ottomans had a system called the Dev Shermi system, where they would take boys, eight to 18, they'd take them from their homes and they would train them, they would force them to renounce their Christianity, force them into becoming Muslims, and they would train them in military, and they became

the Janissaries, I think they were called? And they were actually one of the illest fighting forces. They were like the sultans' special forces. They were like the marines, like the green berets. And they were all brainwashed fucking Greek kids who were vicious, but they would go back and kill Greeks. Because if we're going to do we're if we're able to Unify them then the Greeks are probably our best warriors. Yes, right just as a human race. I think this is the fighters

I mean, they're good when they're unified. They're good I mean they're good, but they just can never be unified because you look at what they did with this revolution They were outnumbered all the time color control. He's all these guys Yeah, they'd be facing forces that had like seven eight thousand That's it and these guys would have like a thousand two thousand. Yeah, they'd be facing forces that had like seven eight thousand. That's it and these guys would have like a thousand two thousand Yeah, sometimes hundreds. Yeah, and they would fucking mow them down It's what it is. They just mow them down and they use glue They knew the terrain better too, so they would just fucking from the mountains

They would just pluck pluck pluck pluck pluck and then run back and back in those days with hand to hand combat These Greek fuckers were hard to catch because they're all dipped in olive oil. Yeah, hard. They're very slippery Slippery fuckers and they went for the ass and balls like hyena. Yeah, it's what it is. So these kids are just olive, but they're running at you like focaccia bread so they'd bite your dick off. Yeah, they really would. Yeah, so the Janissaries were a tough, tough force. Tough, tough force. So, and then what happens is, of course, it's all going to come to an end at some point. And Georgios Kaki, they were told, the Greeks were told, do not intervene. They have basically the Turks on the ropes again, and they're being told by the head people in Greece, do not intervene. We got them

on the ropes, don't do anything. But a bunch of drunk Cretans, because as you could tell, right, Cretans from Ireland are Crete are just wild, wild kids. So these drunk Cretans, they start cursing at the Turks who are right across the valley, and they start cursing them out, and George is showing his dick in balls and pulling his ass out, all true. And so an actual shootout begins and the Turks start shooting at them. You know, they were told don't provoke the Turks

and the Georgios and they're yelling them dick in balls, they're moaning them. The kid Georgios gets shot in the abdomen and this is gonna prove to be a fatal wound. And he famously says, if I get well, I'll ruin the guy who shot me. If I die, kiss my ass. And so, and then, you know, it was at the Battle of Phalaron. That's what it was. He was mortally

wounded. So it was actually in Athens, not in Crete. Yeah. Oh, sorry. But no, but it was drunk Cretans who were fighting for it, who supposedly caused the problem. This was April 23rd, 1827. This was a very significant day because this is when Giorgio Scoti Scocchi, probably the most famous general in the Greek independent history, succumbs to his wounds because he pulled his dick and balls out the Turks and he showed it up. Yeah, and the people really loved him because, you know, the word would spread about the things he would say and how brave he was and stuff. So his death really was a blow to the morale of the Greek forces. And they were defeated there.

And that's what's funny, Franks and Beans too, about the Greeks. And this just happens is they were saying that his death could have been from enemy, but gunfire, but more probably it was from one of the drunk cretins that accidentally shot him. Very possible. Because the kids were just running around. Yeah, very, very possible. In the fog of war. Yeah, very, very, very possible. But eventually, after he died, you know... Is he a hero in Greece? Like, has statues up of him and everything? He has a statue. You can even Google it. It's probably statues of him.

See, in Greece, they're not going to take down statues, because if you look back in history of Greece, everyone kind of said or did something wild. So it's not like American culture where if they look back in Greek history, I mean, everybody... Yeah, look at the statues. Yeah. Yeah. And he's just a little guy and a big horse. Yeah, there he is. There he is. And there's another one right there. That's where we look at his mustache. Yeah. Because Greeks were serious about their mustache. Serious about their mustache. Fucking serious. And because you look good with facial hair like this. You like that? You like that.

You're growing it out a little bit, right? Yeah, yeah. It looks nice. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, because you're just put together and make no mistake, absolutely no mistake. There is a person right now, just pull up Giorgio Scotti's carcass right there with the hat.

He looks Puerto Rican. He looks like he'd be playing, he looks like he'd be talking, have a pet pigeon sitting on a milk crate outside of a Puerto Rican social club. He looks like he's playing handball. Yeah, I mean the kid does look like Cuban or something. The kid looks Cuban or something and he also does look like somebody's Greek wife. It's all the same. It's all the same.

Yeah. Yeah. So that is the Greek revolution. Eventually the Greeks got their state and then there was a whole bunch of strife that happened after that. And now the Greeks are unified, they just have no cash in the ATM machines. That's just what the problem is. It's just what it is, but they are unified.

That's what it is. But they got their freedom and it inspired a whole bunch of nationalist movements around the world. The Ottomans got fucked. This was a good time for them to rebel because the Ottomans were facing the Russians on the other side of their empire. The Russians were invading them and so their military was stretched in and they had a good run. They had a good run.

This is also significant because not only did the Greeks gain their independence but this was also the end of the Ottoman Empire. Now the fucking Ottoman Empire, I'll put my feet on it and watch the football game. Yeah, that's right. That's what it's a country of Turkey now. That's what it's come, no, I'm just saying it's come down to just an Ottoman and I throw my feet up there and I watch the game. Yeah, that's right. That's what the country of Turkey. That's what it's come. No, I'm just saying it's come down to just an Ottoman and I throw my feet up there and I watched the game. That's what the empire is now. Yeah, part became a footstool. It came a footstool. That's right. It's what it is. So, so, so, and it was very, very,

you know, interesting learning about it because cuz make absolutely zero mistake is I don't know really much about anything outside of American history, but this was very fascinating to learn because I really did not understand how Greece, like, you know, a hundred years ago even wasn't the Greece that we know today. Yeah. It's just wild. Yeah, and here's the funny thing. The Greek slogan at the time was very similar to Patrick Henry's, give me freedom or give me death. So the Greeks would say, Eleftheria or Thanatos, which means give me freedom or give me death. So the Greeks would say, Eletheriae Thanatos, which means, uh, give me freedom or death. And that was what my mother kept repeating after she had dementia. And that's a true story. So she would just repeat Eletheriae Thanatos because it's over and over and over again. It's one of those things your mom, when she was sundailing, she turned it to Georgios Kadi. He just did. I'm not even exaggerating.

For some reason, she just kept repeating that., because I think the greeks lived so long under fucking rule, right before that It was the romans and then the fucking venetians were there then the ottomans I mean it just didn't stop And so and now that do you think they'll get taken over by the chinese or the greeks will resist? The greeks will always resist right the greeks are a tough band to take they just they they have a tough Greek spirit that you can't stamp out. It's a pride. I read something too. Greeks are like the Native Americans.

Like the Native Americans, like, you know, the United States tried to fucking make them into slaves and do all that, but the Native American kids just would not. They would just start killing themselves, killing each other, scalping everybody. So like just let these fuckers just go live on a reservation and give them cigarettes. Greeks would rather die. They just, you know, but of course that was some Greeks that you know played ball Did both sides of the fence played ball and look a lot of them flourished under the Ottoman Empire, you know made some money Yeah, they had to look the Ottomans were controlling a bunch of different ethnicities cultures religions. They did a pretty decent job

I'll give them credit right, you know, unfortunately. I did my 23 and me and hopefully my Anatolian genes are Greek Anatolians. Yeah, but it's very possible. There's Turkish in there Yes, it's very possible is Turkish in there, so what happens now like this. I have to fucking honor kill myself Yeah, that's what happened. It's just I it's what I got to do It's what it is what is your wife there's one half of your wife that just can't even be in bed with you. They can't eat around me. It's what my mother-in-law, I think, has a tough time eating around me because she's like 100% Spartan. Yeah. So they hate the Turks. They hate everyone who's Greek just has a little sour taste in their mouth because of the Turks. And the Turks still have half of the Cypriot island and

the Greek Cypriots are not happy about that. So will that turn into like an Israel-Palestine sitch? It could have, but what happened is, and this is what they got to do over there, there's a UN line of demarcation and they just are both living with it. They both hate each other, but they're both dealing with it. They just deal with it. It just dealt with. So since this Greek war, the penitentiary is saying- Cyprus is fucking flourishing. The Greek side of Cyprus is flourishing.

Right. And the Turk side not great. All the Russians put their money in the Cypriot banks and they hide their fucking oligarch money there and whatever. But they're doing well and they just deal with it. They hate it once in a while. They maybe throw rocks at each other. They curse each other. But there's nobody dying. There's no problem. But this kid's a hero. George, you know, he's got his cock. My grandfather was born on the island of Imbros. So he was probably born late 1800s or something like that. Under Ottoman rule, technically.

Yeah, it's an Ottoman island, right? It was a Greek island the Ottomans took, and then the Turks took it back. When they had this great, the big population exchange. So they took that island back. Got it. When they had this great, the big population exchange. So they took that island back. So much like they used to do where they would take Greek kids from eight to 18 and the family could do nothing about it. There was a Greek Bay. I mean, sorry, like a Greek Ottoman viceroy who controlled that area, who had the reputation of taking Greek boys and for the soldiers or the...

So the guy liked to bang them out. So my great grandparents sent him, because he was a little boy, they sent him to Egypt to escape the Ottomans. And he never saw his family again, then he came to America. And that's why I'm here. If it wasn't for Turkish rape, I wouldn't be here. So I got kind of like a love-hate relationship with history in that way. I mean, seriously, if they didn't, they sent them away for that reason. So if it wasn't for the Ottomans,

I would just be in Enveros right now, chilling. I'd be on a little island with a little grapevine in my mouth and drinking olive oil. That would be it. I wouldn't know about the Yankees. There would be no podcast, cuz. If there was no Holocaust, you wouldn't be here. I know. It's what it is. I don't know why, but I think something has to do with it. Something has to do with it. I think Jesus, who again, you just every turn that you look,

if you doubt for one second, just look around and open your eyes. I don't care where you are from, what corner of the world. It does not matter who you're politically affiliated with, who your religion is. I don't care. We're all one people. We are all one united people. And you just look around and if you don't think, I mean, look at who has the upper hand in most of history. If you don't think that Jesus Christ himself was not a... You got another thing to comment.

You just do. You got to look at the facts a little bit. You got to look at the facts. The kid was Republican. I know you tell me he's from the Middle East and he probably wasn't white. But he probably was because I mean look around folks. Wei Songxian. Yeah, we're all weird people except for the Israeli, Palestinians, and the Greeks, and Turks, and the Ukrainians, and Russians, and the list goes on. If there's one thing that sums up history, I'll say this, people really struggle to get along. It's what it is. It's just a tough thing that will always be, can't we all just get along? I think Rodney King said that and the answer

is unequivocally, nope. Nope. Nope. They said, Rodney, if you want to take a look at the footage. Yeah. And so that's unfortunate. And those police officers should have went to jail, but it was a different time. It was a different time. They didn't go, right? They did not go to jail. Jesus Christ. They did not go to jail. Yeah. I don't remember.

That was not good. But we should do an episode on Rodney King with the LA riots. I think we did. So we'll just do the second one. Yeah, we'll do another one. We'll do the second one. And I want to ask the people before we get to the or your favorite part of the show the patreon names where you can Get involved at patreon.com That question to them ask my dick So that should be the name of this episode is

If you go to patreon.com slash history Ienis we want to also ask you is we were flirting with the idea of on patreon once in a while if we do a I want to also ask you is we were flirting with the idea of on Patreon once in a while if we do a watch back of an old episode like the Frank Rizzo was wild episode or Pearl Harbor or whatever. So let us know if you like that. If you don't like that, obviously we're a family here with the matriarchy. So without further ado, these lucky people went to patreon.com slash history hyenas made a funny name and we're going to read those names out and we will pick a winner of PPW

and it's wild. And January 18th, you better be at that Lincoln Theater because we are going to go nuts in Washington, DC. And one of you Patreon members is going to get called on this day. Yeah. Actually three to five of you. Yeah, maybe, maybe two.

Maybe, who knows? It doesn't matter. Okay, so here we go. You guys ready? These are the newest members of the matriarchy. Thank you for joining. Thank you for everything. So we got to lead it off.

We got Chrissy D and Yanni P, DP'd, a post-op, Tranny V. Drexy. Drexler. Okay. Cory Mack, straight to the back, but with the little right turn. Drexler. Okay. Starting it off. Jeffrey Dahmer, skin flute. Skin flute. Okay. Donnie America is back. Grab my clam. Drexler. Drerekster. Long dong, ding dong. Welcome. Then we got Girthquake. Put them on the list. Put them on the list.

Put them on the list. That's it. Put them on the list. Fucking great. Love the Latinas, but make no mistake, I voted red. Okay. Cruisin' for a Jewish bruisin'. Okay, walked into one. Walked into one. Hank, then we got Eastern Hemis got me going Pyongyang.

Put him on the list. Put him on the list. Do what it is. Contender. Contender, then we got Kamala took it in the Budichedge. I think we've had that already. Yeah, yeah, variations of it. But nice.

Make a pretty finger painting inside my Budachet. Drexler. Drexler. Then we got Sister Jill, formerly Father Bill, it's what it is. Okay. Okay, that's a nice, it's a nice rhyme ski. I'll give you an honorary Drexler, but the Father Bill's, at this point with so many Father Bills.

It's tough. Yeah. Ramon, then we got Zach Isis, C4 vest. Oh, Zach Isis is C4 vest. He's C4 vest. Yeah. That's a chicken figure. That's a good chicken figure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Then we got inching closer to strangers in the sauna. Contender. Put it on the list. Yeah. Good. Funny. Then we got father Bill gave me a Cosby pill and don't walk right still. See, I keep saying that we're done with the Father Bills, but that's goody, but I'm going to Drexler because of the other ones. Any other day. Okay. The little fumarade.

The little fumarade. Like the little mermaid, I guess, the little fumarade. It's close. Yeah. Oh, then we got Johnny Balls. What's up, Johnny? Then he goes, my wife makes me dress like a pilot and calls me Deebo. It's what it is. Cause Drexler. Then we got no DSP. So I decided to cut it off and just have a crease. It's what it is. Put them on the list. Put them on the list. Put them on the list. Then we got Toys for Toots, Toys for Toots, Chicken Figure. Then we got Kamala Umballa, Parody's Nuts, Donnie T coming to see Jose in a different way. Okay. Uh, Kamala's na mean accent, uh-huh. Decaz. Um, and then we got Jesse, you will never be Zach Isis.

Okay. Walked into one. Walked into one. Walked into one. Uh, then we got Coco cracked open and cleaned out. Oh, we haven't heard that in a while. Coco in Eastern Hemi, my semi. Now I got fumes.

Okay. Then we got anti-Surgeon General. Then we got Eddie, Straight to the Back with Father Bill Sack. Praise Bidiani P. Wepa Wednesday, Biden's Breath Smells Good, Stavros Stratis, just a Greek. Just a Greek, yeah. He wins the Diner Monkey Award. Yeah. Then we got Chrissy's Not Gay, He's Bromosexual. Thomas Crooks Pocket Puss. Mike E.D. aka Chrissy Crusade's Father Bill's Ball Sack.

Okay, another Father Bill. The Piano House of Comedy Sucks Ass. The Plano House of Comedy Sucks Ass. Can't disagree. Can't disagree, not a great one. Chrissy, it's 420, call me back, babe. We've had that a few times. I'm not going to call you back, 420. Then we got, can't think of a name because I'm a

re-re and Robert. Okay? Okay, just break some beans. Then we got Father Pat put glue on my forehead every Sunday, WWJD, amen. I guess what would Jesus do? Yeah, what would Jesus do? Okay. Then we got bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, HBB Bandit, Finnish Rye Bread Monkey, but- Finnish Rye Bread Monkey's very funny. He's a Finnish kid.

Yeah. Just shout out to the Finnish people. Finnish people. He says Finnish Rye Bread Monkey, but half German, trying to keep my head down. Drexler. Okay. Then we got Joey Ricotta. Sauce Monkey Ward. Sauce Monkey Ward. Then we got Jan P. Succafella. Jan P. instead of Rockefeller.

Yep. Very funny Drexler. Then we got Henry Ruggs, School of Driving. Okay. Screwed in. Screwed in. Fatcock Jr. Donnie Two Terms, Suckin' Bottom, Bobby RFK Jr.'s Brain Worm. Okay.

Denny Darts his glue gun through that fume hunt. Your, your pal Nate buy my book after automation on Amazon. Okay. I don't understand that. Screw it. I was just, I was just plugging his book. Oh, just buys book.

Yeah. Hurricane of thoughts. Then we got, oh shit. Oh, sorry. Can't do that. Can't do that. Security. Sorry. Jesus Christ. Damn it. Then we got dingbat. Then we got just a wee Todd who loves to and spank. Okay. Father Bill's favorite $3 bill. We've had Louis from South of the border. Now a Trump supporter, SLK S. That's a Drexler.

Drexler. Then we got Bobby Lee's glue gun smells like kimchi. Okay. Drexler. Sonic, Schofield, Qui-Gon, John. Then I got my glue gun was itty bitty. So I turned it inside out into a clitty. See? He, that's a perfect example of why the Drexler Then I got my glue gun was itty-bitty. So I turned it inside out into a clitty

See he that's a perfect example of why the Drexler exists, right? Because they have the same name as the guy before but the crease is just better. Yes, so You would be a contender if it wasn't for that guy wasn't for crease So that guy's Jordan your Drexler your Drexler. Sorry. Sorry. Then we got he, she, they, them, my thumbs, Brown from AOC's Bum Bum. Okay. Then we got, uh, Bagoas with an F. Okay. Okay. So I guess, okay.

Yeah. Right? Sort of walked into one. Yep. So then we got Chrissy the Crumbum makes my bum cum. Um, okay. Then we got Dildo Schwagen 69. Then we got Sharkus Farticus, Tuckback for a Chrissy clean out, Justin Beener, GothGirl420.

Then we got Frisbee Cap Cutie kisses father Bill's $3 booty. Okay. Another one. Chrissy pissy Whisperson, Unincorporated Rocky, Bogotus Toot Shoot has glue gun fumes. Grant, dump them out for Latta14Johnson. Wet dreaming about peeing in Chrissy D's lunch lady ass.

Then we got bring back Hey Babe, I hate you too. Then we got I want Chrissy's feet on my meat, paint my fat ass, please, Jesse, and make me complete. Dragster. Okay. Diddy for Prezzy. Okay. Mikey Obama, wash me down with your water hose. Obama, wash me down with your water hose.

Dragster. Dragster. Then we got David from Mario LeBron, LeBaron. Then we got Magic Johnson's daughter's glue gun. Yeah. That's a yeah. I think we did it. No, we didn't do category just called.

Yeah. Put them on the list. Okay. Put them on the list. Yeah. We're in a getting mood. Then we got flagrant two without the L rant too. I don't know what that means. Okay. Put them on the list. Yeah. We're in a giving mood. Then we got flagrant two without the L rant two.

I don't know what that means. Okay. Yanni loves Chachi. Okay. Uh, Emmanuel Estrella. So you got the, you got the Spanish one. Yeah. Then we got cute dick, but pubes thick.

So fumes are like the bags of an Eastern Hemi's broomstick. Drexler. Drexler. Good one. Okay. So then we got in high school, this FF father squeaked in a no-no, taking picks up the skirts of the high school pieces on the neutrals. That's what it is.

Cause okay. That's a lot. Confession. Yeah. Then we got, um, fresh little cutie, voting's my duty. So Trump 2024. Okay. Then we got Frank the tanky gave Yanni a wanky while father bill put it in. Chris is stanky. Good one. Then we got big Mike's discarded Adam's apple. Okay. That's a good Drexler. Okay. Then we got father Bill, father Bill gave me a pill.

Now I spill out of my rectum. Okay. Then we got Micah can't see shit, Beef Barn, Peggy Shay, uh, Saxon Quinn, Bricked Up Peace. Then we got the Staten Island housing devaluation, G-HUD. Okay. Okay. Let's see that. Okay. That's a walk into what, but also funny. Yeah. Then we got Matt Gates gave my daughter water. It's what it is. Very funny. Very funny. Yeah. Um, then we got Nico the Greek with a glue gun leak. Um, then we got an Armenian kid that would never ever shoot Yanni. Drexler. Drexler. Okay. So then we got, uh,

tape it back and suck my dick, babe 3000. No, we got Mike hunt, Mike hunt, Mike hunt, Mike hunt, Mike hunt, Mike hunt. Okay. Is Mike hunt Mike hunt like Mike hunt H U N T like Mike. Okay. Now here's what he did. I've assumed. Yeah. He puts so many of their, because the more you repeat it, it sounds like Mike hunt. Exactly. Can you do that again? Mike hunt, Mike hunt, Mike hunt, Mike hunt, Mike hunt, Mike hunt, Mike hunt, Mike hunt for the fucking original Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunt, Mike. Then we got, suck my, suck my, oh, suck my amenities of modernity. Okay. Yeah.

Then we got Christopher Boggan, then we got officer Glewgun 15 precinct open wide, Unicorn Yanni and Chrissy Cockatrice, okay. Chrissy hips, Chrissy's hips were built to play when jazz is away. Okay. Walked into one. Walked into one. Then we got, uh, I saw Pete Buttigieg molest to Cheerios B and O4. Okay.

Uh, Peter Spath, Abel. Then we got, if you, if, if found a $3 bill in my toot, uh, then we got Yanni's fart from election night. Your farts coming back. Yeah. Chicken figure. Chicken figure. Yeah. Then we got family enterprise, AKA deadbeat

bro uses my account. Then we got Hunter Crook, uh, Marcus Aurelius. Oh, wow. Welcome Marcus. Big fan of your work. Yeah. Uh, then we got half Leroy, half, oh, hold on. Half Leroy, half SP1C adopted by white

lesbians, Trump 2024. Okay. Okay. So I, I almost walked into one, but I spelled it out and did it. Yeah, good. Then we got uncirc, jerk Trump is back. So I'm back to work.

Um, then we got sniff my scruffy scrotum fumes like Cleopatra's lost tomb. Okay. ASAP Nokia. Oh, like ASAP Rocky. ASAP Nokia. Then we got Barry the squeak swims through big Mike's fumes. Light of 14.

Okay. Then we got fruity tootie with a juicy booty squeeze it in my poopy $3 bill. No homo. Then we got danger ooze. Then we got Chrissy Dean Numero Uno Unic. Uh, then we got the Ricotta cream pie, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Ginsburg, Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Okay. Ricotta. Very nice. Ricotta. Kermit the Pog. Uh, like, you know, like a Pog, like a fat ass white girl, Kermit the Pog. Oh, P-A-W-G.

Yeah. Chicken finger. Yeah. That's a good chicken finger. We got gimme AOC, gimme, gimme AOC mommy milkers, no Budachetsch gimme AOC mommy milkers, no Budachetsch wants AOC booze. He wants knockers.

He doesn't want the. Exactly. Yeah. Then we got clean me out with your mouth serpent. Okay. That's a, he called the tongue a mouth serpent. Yeah. Very original Drexler, but very good.

Very good. Then we got make no mistake. I'm a toot that's going to spread Chrissy's glutes and go brutes on that cute little poop shoot. Then we got Trump put a tariff on my toot. Raysian Cajun. Then we got smashing Blumpkins. Uh, then we got, uh, can ferat usamanas.

So I guess that's just, uh, that's the, uh, Middle Eastern award. Yeah. Jeremy the squeak Rafiki. Then we got, I think my boyfriend's gay. Okay. All right. Then we got ball, Sanga chin.

Okay. Dr. Trash Panda. Missy Chrissy made my glue gun all sticky. Then we got Benny and Eastern Hemi gave me a semi. So I peeked under the hood and found some wood. She said it's a character piece, Mackenzie. Very funny. Then we got Calcul My Cock, Chrissy D's a squeaky cuck. Garbage to the TT. Then we

got Black Lives Matter, Just Stay Away From My Daughter, Ladder 14. Ladder 14. Hooked in toy. Drag slur. Drag slur. Then we got FF alum of Father Bill's Archbishop Malloy bootcamp. We got moving the vegetables, Maxwell, let's go Canucks, Sergeant Snuggles, Cleveland steamers and carpet cleaners established 1776 matriarchal, screwed in matriarchal monkey tits.

Uh, father Bill's fumes, Benjamin Carbonella Leroy with a squeak toy, hashtag smash that bean na mean. We got I dream of Jeannie eating panini with a tuck to the back teeny weeny. Straight to the back with Kamala, Eslo KS. Kinky for a wedgie but won't take it in the Budachage, Eslo KS. Fully charged and radiated Eastern Hemming. Cause he, cause he Donnie T could have been in line of 14 if not for the spray tan.

Very true. $3 bill went up to the Hill and got in the Buddha church. Did he's freak off lube dispenser. Very good. Cox's not rocket. Call my piece Yanni. Cause that head getting squeezed cuts.

He's, he's banging a virgin. Maybe he squeezes his head. Yeah yeah okay Faji Bill went up the hill to fetch some Smithtown water. Chicken finger. Yeah father Bill touched my throat with the back of his throat. Very funny. That's what it is banging toots and little boots S-L-O-K-S. Then we got Falafel. Hi. Then we got Lucy goosey who takes it in the booty. Bobby. I got a pseudo piece that needs. So I've walked into one. Sorry about that.

Yeah. So, okay. So we can't, so that's just walked in security. Then we got, uh, okay. Then we got Diddy's dark Dick baby oil drip, fume free Ridgewood toot assembly, Yanni's Fetafit, a tail of two cheeks, toots Magoots, very cute poop shoot, Kamala Harris, AKA Denzel

Curry. Okay. Marissa's skin flute cracks open Chrissy's poop shoot, father Bill's virgin virgin hands gooey for chewy. Kaiser Philip IV boots threats to the father and the son and the holy fuck Bill stop. Very funny. Very funny. Chrissy D and Tony and Donnie T's love child undercrack me open to the sound of thunder.

Schultz stops stealing Chrissy's bits. Okay. Okay. Walked into one. Confused robot. Little bit of fumes, Abby. Yeah. A few of them's Abby. Just a little hit. Little hit. Yeah.

Self-aware. I like that. I like that. I like Abby. Yeah. Meow, meow, meow. Special K, Gorlock the Smoosher, Big Ben Ruffles Broner, Rattlesnake Roy, John Graffanini,

Eurythra Franklin. Put them on the list. Put them on the list. That's our first list in a few minutes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Big Ben Ruthless Broner, Rattlesnake Roy, John Graffanini, Eurethra Franklin. Put them on the list. Put them on the list. That's our first list in a few minutes.

Yeah, put them on the list. Eurethra Franklin is in. Yep. Choicy health insurance comparisons, hashtag screwed in. There you go. We're all $3 bills in Houston. Chicken Sandwich CEO, Kosh Singh, Apecia Zanthroplous, good Greek kid, Scrutin Nuju aka Eastern Hemi-

Oh, sorry! Oh, Jesus Christ! Yeah. I mean, you know, this Yorgos would have liked that one. Yeah, that's a Yorgos. It's a funny one, but it's fucking, it's a walked into one too. Dirty dollar Danny. Oh, God.

Named my peace, Uncle Russell, call me a fucking idiot. I'm a fucking idiot. I'm a fucking idiot. I'm a fucking idiot. I'm a fucking idiot. I'm a fucking idiot. I'm a fucking idiot. I'm aorgos. It's a funny one, but it's fucking, it's a walked into one too. Dirty dollar Danny. Okay.

Named my piece Uncle Russell because I'm hairless and an FF. Good one, chicken finger. Last but not least, I'm a squeak for Rome. Squeak for Rome. So the list is not too many. This time, some good strong contenders. Okay, but let me, let me, let me get the list because yeah, it's rough. Yeah, cause but, but we cannot put that one on the list. Okay, but let me let me let me get the list because yeah, it's got the rough. Yeah, because but but we cannot put that one on the list. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Hold on. Jesse can handle it. He likes that one. It's very inventive. Very inventive. It's also very racist. We can put it on the list. It's security, it's a security situation. Yes, yes, but you know, it's on Patreon, we will talk about it on Patreon, but we can't talk about it here. Maybe we just, that's just going, that's Yorgo Kiryakakis Award. Some of them, if you want to do like that, instead of security, we're going to give you the Gorgi Award. Yeah, we'll give you the Yorgo Kiryakakis.

The Yorgi Award. Yeah, the Yorgi Award. Yeah, the Yorgi Award. Okay, here we go. All right, so here is the list, here are the contenders. Here's the list. So we got Girthquake. Girthquake. All right. That's going to be Drexler, but very good. Any other day. Then we got Eastern Hemi's got me going Pyongyang. Contender. Still in.

Because Pyongyang is a city. Yes. Yes. Pyongyang. Then we got Inching Cl to strangers in the sauna. Contender! No DSP so I decided to cut it off and just have a crease. It's what it is. Contender! They're still in. Okay. Magic Johnson's daughter's glue gun. Drexler. Okay, but funny. Okay. My cunt, my cunt, my cunt, my cunt, my cunt. So good. So good. Well, I'm going to Drexler, but so good. Any other day. Eurythra Franklin. Contender. We got four strong contenders. So the contenders are Eurythra Franklin, Eastern Hemi's Got Me Going Pee-oing, Inching Closer to Strangers in in the sauna, and no DSP

so I decided to cut it off and just have a crease. It's what it is. What do we like? Oh boy, here's another tough situation. Okay, god damn it. These are four winners. Yeah. These are four winners.

Yeah. Okay, I'll help you boys out. I think we're going to, we're going to Drexler. I can't, Euretha Franklin gets Drexlerler even though it's just so good. I get it. It's just the other ones It's the other ones. So you're saying right now It's between Eastern Hemis got me going pure young yang inching close to the strangers in the sauna and no DSP So I decided to cut it off and just have a crease. Yeah, what it is Here's another situation where I promise you I cannot make a decision. Yeah, so this is two episodes in a row

I cannot make a decision three-way fucking time so we got to defer to Jesse Jesse cuz I know I know Jesse wants it to be that Be that can't be that that was yeah I'm going crease. I'm going with the crease. He goes crease no DSP So I decided to cut it off and just have a crease. It's what it is You know what man inching closer to strangers in the sauna. I like just because it's just, it's just out of nowhere and it's funny, but I, I get that one out for me Eastern Hemis got me going Pyoing, Yoying, Yang is tough,

but I do want to take a little bit of the heat off the Eastern Hemis cause we went back to back China episodes and crazy. Okay. So for that reason, and because of its originality, the winner and PPW, and you will see her name up at historyienias is back.com right now. Wait, then I got to vote because it's two. Oh, sorry. Yeah. So go ahead. What's yours?

I'm going to say no DSP. So I decided to cut it off and just have a crease. It's what it is. So it's the winner. You won. That's the winner. Yes, you're the winner. So congratulations. You won. And for some people I know, I saw some comments saying that we've been going soft and we're trying to go politically correct on the Patreon names. Well, no more.

What are you talking about? Some people are getting mad. Who is saying that? Some people, there's been some chatter on the Patreon about how we're going soft. Last week we didn't give it to someone who had another one of those. Yeah, so. We can't give it to that person. We can't give it to that person.

But we're giving them a shout out just by how wild we're going at the reaction. It's what it is. So come, go to Patreon.com slash history hyenas. We've got a bonus episode starting right now and go to history hyenas is back.com. Come see us this Saturday, January 18th, Lincoln theater live show in Washington DC, our first live podcast. So go check it out. Yeah.

And see me in Chicago and Tucson and and Rochester, and Springfield, Missouri, just go to my website, YanisPappasComedy.com, or HistoryHyenasIsBack.com for those techies. You can see it all there, and you can see me. I'm in Florida in March, Tampa, and Orlando, and then we got Providence, Rhode Island at the end of March, and we're adding a lot of dates. I'm coming to Texas, Dallas, Houston, Austin, so go check it out, ChristieyComedy.com. HistoryHajenasIsBack.com. It's probably best to because just go to HistoryHajenasIsBack.com. You get all our information there. And bonus episodes starting at patreon.com slash HistoryHajenas right now. See you over there.