History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - The Happiest Place on Earth

Episode Date: February 6, 2025

The Hyenas dive into the wild and sordid history of Walt Disney and the empire he built. From questionable business dealings to urban legends about Disney World, this one’s gonna make you look at Mickey Mouse a little differently. We’re talking underground secret tunnels, the insane story of how Disney acquired all that Florida land, and the conspiracy theories surrounding the man himself. Was Walt frozen? Did he have ties to shady organizations? And why does Disney World have its own government? It’s all here—history, comedy, and chaos—the way only the History Hyenas can deliver it. Wepa! Support our sponsors: http://lucy.co/hyenas Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://bluechew.com! Right now, OpenPhone is offering 20% off of your first 6 months when you go to https://OpenPhone.com/hyenas. #comedy #Podcast #History Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas/ Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit.ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0 Hyenas Merch!!! https://teespring.com/stores/historyhyenas Follow us Cuz! 🙆🏻‍♂️ Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ 🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ 🐕More Hyenas Website: www.historyhyenasisback.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/historyhyenas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HistoryHyenas Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/historyhyenaspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this.

I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do this. I'm not sure's I'm Chris Stefano aka Chrissy 50's hair with me as always Janis Papas aka Janis has a cold. And I have a cold because I was at Disney and I was around a lot of four-legged creatures and animals and Americans and

The extra H in hyenas that you pronounce as the great Ari Shaffir said is for homos. It's what it is Yeah, so when you hear hyenas, there's an H in there that's cuz of homos and if Ari ever says that to my face It's gonna stand for Hitler Wei Songxian Just kidding. Yeah, it's just kidding. I'm just kidding. It's just a joke. It's just a jokey-wokey. Yeah, because he would not be able to hide.

No. You could not put on a costume. You couldn't do anything. You couldn't blend in. The kid just can't blend in. No, Ari Shafir looks so- His face is the star of David. I was going to say, Ari Shafir looks so Jewish, it's actually funny.

Yeah. Like when I see him, I just start to laugh. I just see him and I ask for a loan. I was going to say, R. Shafir looks so Jewish, it's actually funny. Yeah. Like when I see him, I just start to laugh. I just see him and I ask for a loan. Yeah, it's what it is. I can't help it. His face just goes, hey, do you want a loan? Yeah, he's got a loan, and today we're going to be talking about Walt Disney. He was not a Jew and was successful, so it can happen.

It's possible. It can happen. It's possible. But he did allegedly not like Jews, and we gonna get to that because before we do any of that I just want to say that I haven't seen you since the Washington DC episode I haven't seen you in a month and it started to feel like 2023 again And I didn't like it 20 yeah, 23 was last two years ago. Yeah, oh yeah, 2020

It started to feel like 2021 to 2024. Yeah, but we talked a lot. I texted you the whole time. I texted you all the time. You did. I kept in touch. You were fine. Yeah. And you just texted me once.

You said, "'Cause I can't wait for it to be summer so we can stroll every day.'" "'Cause I want to stroll.'" And I knew when you said that, that you were just not feeling good wherever you were. "'Cause I'm... I... I... I... I... I... You felt trapped somewhere. I felt trapped and I'm proud to say I bought a home in Bedford, New York. Is it bought? And it's bought because I just bought it.

I just put in an offer, I saw it on Zillow and I said send the offer. Send the offer in. Yeah. At this point, I'm pretty convinced that the American economy is the way that it is because of Disney. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I mean, I think everyone's experiencing recession because they spend all their money on Disney cuz let me tell you something. Did you go? Are your daughters old enough to go to the Bippity Boppity boutique?

I don't know about that But what I do know is there was a bunch of people down there who apparently bought one ticket to get in And if they ticketed by weight, it was the equivalent of four tickets. What it is? Yeah I mean there are some big big big big people down there. There's some fatty boom-baddies down there I mean cuz it's like oh Zempik didn't hit Orlando yet. It's crazy yeah yeah sometimes I was like oh it's shady out and then I was just standing behind a person. Yeah. They can block the sun. They're like satellites out there. Right, right.

I mean some big people. There's some big fatties and I mean cuz if you want to see where it gets even fatter, combine Disney World and Cruises and go on a Disney cruise. Wow. And holy smokes. I don't know how that ship stays above water. Yeah. What I saw this last week was a little disturbing.

It was a little traumatizing. I'm a little traumatized from it. It's EDMR worthy. Yes. It's traumatizing to see what this country is composed of. Yeah. The cult-like atmosphere at Disney World where everyone's wearing a Disney Princess Security. You're sundowning again. Yeah, you know the Princess Security shirt that the dads wear Yeah, it's funny the first time you see it But then when you start seeing everyone wearing it and then you see grown women wearing Minnie Mouse ears you start going This is a little culty and then when you start seeing grown adults stand online to meet the characters who are really

Fucking undocumented Mexicans by the way, there was none of those. Trump and all the kids were crying because they're gone. Mickey Mouse was not coming to the table because they got catapulted over the wall. That's what it is. But when you see a grown adult standing online to meet a 21 year old actor who's aspiring to make it in the business and starting out at Disney World, getting paid $15 an hour, who's dressed as fucking Snow White, and a grown up is standing there with a fucking autograph book. Yep.

You go, these people got leaky roofs. They got leaky roofs. This woman's got a leak in her roof. Yeah, I mean cuz and also if you Google this Jesse, just the adult Disney smile, I guarantee you they had little teeth and big gums. Absolutely. That's the thing, they don't like it. Just big gums and little teeth.

Go to the adult Disney smile. Anytime I meet an adult who loves Disney, they got gums and little teeth. Go to the adult Disney smile. Anytime I meet an adult who loves Disney, they got gums and teeth like this. I mean, look at this. That's what it is. They got little teeth and just big freaking gums. It's bad, dude. It's bad.

We met a woman, by the way, the food is atrocious. It's truly bad. I just need to get this out of my system because I had to pretend to be happy for fucking five days for my daughter, who half the time was just going I want to go home. Even the kids get stressed out. The kids get stressed out.

It's stressful. Dude, Disney, we've been fed this lie that we need to go to Disney and take our families to Disney. It's not fun for anyone. It's only fun for Disney because they're taking all the money, making $36 million a day per park. Yeah, it's crazy. They make something like $54, $ dollars a year yeah I mean they own

everything they own ESPN they own Hulu they own ABC that's where I do have a special coming out February 21st yeah I called Disney adults a good chance that you work for Disney and you don't know about it I do well I actually do know about it do know yeah and and we're gonna change Walt Disney World one day to Nate Bargozzi world yeah Nate, Nate Land. Nate Land. Yeah, cuz that's what he that's what he's going for. He's a Disney kid. He's a Disney kid. It's just they own, they own the same square footage, they own the same amount of land as the land area of San Francisco in Orlando. Wow and probably the only difference is Disney probably has more

gays. They probably got more gays and who knows what's going on underground. They got a whole world underground. Magic Kingdom's actually built on the second level. Underground, there's a labyrinth, a goddamn who knows what. Who knows what? Cuz I'm telling you, when you said you were going to Disney a month ago and you said I'm going on vacation, I said no, that's not's not a vacation cuz it's not you're going To work you're going to do them you came back you have a cold you're tired

I mean you're still looking cute as a button But cuz you I knew for a fact because I told you to go in with a plan you notice too much What guys look like it's what it is yeah, you just you you pay attention to what a guy looks like yeah cuz I mean I've never looked at a guy and just been like he looks good Or I just yeah, I don't pay that much attention to guys you pay close attention. I went to a guy inspector I went yes. I'm a guy inspector. I went to an art class a Couple weeks ago with jazz like where you drink wine and paint and then they just told us we could freestyle paint and I just Began painting a man's head. I

Just I just I just started outlining just a guy's face. I know those classes at the one where you'd paint the wine glass or... Well no we actually painted he actually painted like a portrait they had us do one and then we had some time so that it's freestyle but you get drinks and food it was actually pretty nice. You guys that's so cute date night. It's a paint and pour it's called. Yeah you did it. It's a white night out. It's a white night out. You think there's ever been a black couple who say, let's go, yeah, I mean? Yes, there has been.

Well, what they've done is they've expanded it now because now they have what's called paint and puff, and that's for the blacks. Wait, some shit. Where you just paint a little bit and you smoke a little weed, but that one's fun too, and I wanna do that, and cuz, make absolutely no mistake,

I sat next to Andrew Schultz at a Knicks game. I was about to say, at the painting thing? No, I sat next to Andrew Schultz at a Knicks game on Saturday. I was about to say, at the painting thing. No, I sat next to Andrew Schultz at a Knicks game, and of course the blacks were noticing him first, but make absolutely zero mistake, we do have more black fans than you know, because a lot of them would say what's up to Schultz and take a picture and slap their knee and all that, but then they would look at me and say, you're not a mother fucker from history hyenas. Yeah.

So it's there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they were listening, and they are watching. Or did they go, wait a second, so you're not mother fucker from history hyenas. Yeah. So it's there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they were listening and they are watching. Or did they go, wait a second, so you're not Andrew Schultz? Yeah, they couldn't believe it. They're like, oh yeah, that's Chris DiStefano. I didn't know you mother fuckers. Yeah, Guy Cod, they thought you guys were the same person.

I didn't know you mother fuckers were twins. Yeah, yeah, for some reason to blacks, I think you and Andrew Schultz look alike. We look alike. By the way, shout out, I was at the first time ever in my life saw LeBron James play live. Wow. I mean, that guy's 40 years old and the best

athlete on the court, like not even close. He's a better athlete than all of them. And it was a nice moment because the Knicks fans started cheering put in Brawny at the end of the game, LeBron James' son. And we could see LeBron James' mother, and she was just videoing her son smiling of his getting on the court, his getting on the court, the garden and I was like, that's pretty fucking cute but now get that kid back to the G League.

Yeah, that's right. Because he's just not good enough. He's just not good enough. And I paid big money to sit close and he put this little motherfucker in so his mom could get the video. He's the only guy drafted by the Lakers who's I think averaging 2.9 points a game as a freshman and he came out as a freshman, which is nice Yes, nice. It's usually for the four stars. It's probably though. Now is that DEI?

That's what you call in some ways. That's what you call nepotism. That's never because huge nepotism. Yeah, that's huge Do you think though Lebronnie do you think brawny though might feel bad? Like would you feel bad if you were him? Like would you feel like awkward? Like I'm not supposed to be here Yeah, well, I don't supposed to be here? Yeah. Well, I don't know. I don't know. I would feel... Let's call him up.

Yeah. I mean, yeah. He's got to know. Right? On some level he's got to know, but I think he's been raised well. I mean, LeBron seems like a really good dad. I think he's just... LeBron does seem like a good dad.

He's answered him real well. I think he's media trained him real well. Those guys are so media trained. LeBron is a very, very, very good father, you could tell. And he's also one of the best basketball players I've ever seen. And if there's only a slight criticism of LeBron James is that he works for China. It's just he's a Chinese citizen. That's the only issue is, but other than that, if he was American, LeBron, he'd be my favorite player, but he does represent the Chinese.

Well, not to throw it back to an old episode, which I thought was a great episode, and if you haven't listened to it, go check it out about cloning, but we did bring up on that episode that Lebron James is probably a clone because where's his dad, where's Shaq's dad, where's Yao Ming's parents? So when you're talking about a multi-billion dollar business, you're just going to want to get in the lab and create some specimens that can be sort of the face of your league. And if there's a way that a guy could be 6'8", 6'9", and run like that and keep playing when he's 40 and be as media trained as he is and never say anything wrong.

Well, I guess some people think he's safe. He got in some trouble because he was a little woke-ish for some people. He was defending China over Taiwan. And that's just... Did he ever outwardly say it though? He just said, yeah, I mean, he said and then John Cena went and spoke full-blown Chinese. Yeah, I just got... Yeah, I remember that part. That was funny. You did a little Elon. Yeah, I just saw one of those. Yeah, you saw one of those and I tried to catch it. Yeah. Have you ever seen the John Cena thing? I mean, he's speaking full-blown. It's one of the funniest John Here's the thing about John Cena. I know he's a professional wrestler. I know he's jacked

I know he's John Cena, but after I saw that video of what how cucked he is I'm very confident. I could beat the shit out of John Cena. Yeah after just see that I'm like alright now now You know it's like when Russia popped off and can't even beat Ukraine. I'm like we met now We know we can destroy you that's our feel about John Cena But let me ask you this question if If you were in a massive production and you mistakenly called Taiwan another country or something like that, and China, which is where movies make their money now. They don't make them here, they make them over there. And the studio had called you, Chris DiStefano as the head and said, you're going to have to learn Chinese,

you're going to have to learn Mandarin in a week, and you're going to have to make an apology or else we're taking this 30 mil back back I was how quickly are you going for those classes in Chinatown? Well, I would say to be honest with you cuz I would say you know what you could keep the money Because I live within my means and I now live in Bedford, New York And I bought a house with a good tax rate and I don't need your money I'm living a happy free life because I'm living within my means and I did not buy the fucking house on Staten Island I'm living comfortably in Armand.

So you do not need to work for the Chinese. I do not because I live comfortably in Bedford Corners. That's what it is. Here's a picture of John Cena as Mao which is very funny. Make no mistake, Patty the Fatty, Pat Samoama looks like he's waiting on line at Disney. He actually does look like a Disney dad. He looks like a Disney dad. Yeah. Yeah.

Look at it. I mean, dude, when the gates open up in the morning, so everyone gets there at like 7 a.m. Yeah. It's like boot camp, really. You're pushing strollers, you're carrying backpacks, you feel like Civil War soldiers marching through the land. And then when the doors open up You just fucking storm you storm the beaches of Normandy right like instead of soldiers

It's just full-grown women with fucking Mickey ears on yeah And people who were 400 pounds and sandals and socks and they go for it and they just attack the right Let me ask you this out of how many though if you saw let's let's let's call it Let's make it a nice round number. If you saw, just walking through your vision over the course of five days at Disney, let's say you saw 10,000 people, how many would you consider were actually over a five out of 10? How many?

I'm going to talk about, could you at least get a six in there? Surprisingly, my first day at Magic Kingdom, I literally was like, I'm the-looking guy at this place and you are and that's never happened, right? That's never happened where I've looked around and I'm the best-looking guy here I was looking all day and I was like I'm the best-looking person I think male or female on the first day Epcot you start to get a couple of MILFs, right? You get to start to get a couple cuties some of the hotels like, like the Floridian, you get a little higher class. But I would say Magic Kingdom is the ghetto. I would say Hollywood Studios is the middle class.

And then I would say Epcot Center is where the privileged people walk around. It's a little more privileged than Epcot. Yeah, you can have a beer. Did you have a beer in every country, like I told you? Because I had a beer. I had to get through it. I had to get through it. I had to get through it with nicotine pouches.

I had to get through it with my phone. Yeah. I had to get through it with my phone. Right. And I had to get through it with a couple of cold brews. You had to get a couple of cold brews. Now, how did you? And you did not argue with your wife, though,

which is surprising. I didn't. No, we did not argue. Just because most couples argue at Disney. But you got a strong relationship. Just a few times, I I said put your fucking phone away Yeah, well, it's eight o'clock and she's walking around checking to see if there's any lightning rounds open Yeah, I said just put your fucking phone away. Yeah, put it away. We're getting on the fucking monorail

That's what else just gonna be a murder at Disney They're gonna take us underground and they will not declare you dead until they get to the whole the hospital cuz make no mistake Disney does that because they don't want anyone dying on their property because it's the happiest place on Earth. And that is a truth-bater Ginsburg, folks. What Janice just told you, if you die at Disney, you will not be declared dead at Disney. They emergency service ambulance or a helicopter out of there.

And then even if you are dead, I mean, if you get decapitated on a roller coaster your heart's still beating until you get off that Disney property and then you can drop dead at the gas station on the outskirts of Orlando they don't care as long as it doesn't have nobody dies at Disney and that's a truth baiter Ginsburg and it's a little scary and Walt Disney did not like Jews and the reason why I'm saying he did not like Jews is because there is some speculation about him being an anti-semite and and I say, well, he was an anti-Semite because you know what he was obsessed with?

Trains. He loved trains. So if the kid loved trains, if you are a white man that loved trains in the 1920s, you hated Jews. Because would you like to play a practical joke with me? Yes. What we need to do, you know a couple of guys. Are you an impractical joker?

I'm an impractical joker. No, that's your other me. Yes. What we need to do you know a couple of practical joke. I'm going to practical joke. That's your other podcast. Yeah. Do you know do you know any MTA workers because I know you grew up with a lot. Do I know any. Yeah. I mean do you mean do I live with any MTA workers. Yeah. But I mean you got friends who empty because I got friends in every single civil service in this goddamn city. So if you need a service you tell me I mean I got I have a whole group chat of just MTA workers. So what we do, cuz, we ask that guy if one day we could do a kamikaze on the train, the New York City Transit, right?

So, and then I become the conductor, right? And you go around taking tickets, right? And we just put on Hugo Boss uniforms. And when we get there, I'll just go that we'll wait to see some yams we wait wait to see some frisbees get on yeah and then I'll just go stand clear of the closing doors yeah next stop Warsaw Poland and we just keep going yeah and see what they do yeah and we'll film it yeah I have your officers will be moving through the train. Please have your

passports and papers ready and then you just come through the side. Yeah. You know what I mean? Wearing the long coat. Big Bud Chrissy. Yeah just wearing the uniform that you already bought on Amazon. Yeah. And we just we see if we can just cause panic attacks. Because do you remember when I actually for real did that as not even a goof I did it for real. I bought an SS outfit on Amazon. I do remember. Just for a goof and then I wore it one day and didn't tell him we just went got pizza in Bay Ridge Yeah, cuz do you think is that why it is very funny? Yeah, we went just a goof We went didn't say Nazi swastika. No, you just had boots on with a long coat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you look like an officer. Yeah You didn't look like a infantry. You look like an officer

Yeah, I look like an officer, but I was just doing it for a good you doing it for a goof Which is a weird goof to do. Yes, not on Halloween. Yeah, and but in the middle of summer Yeah, it was it was a little mishap that Prince Harry did once and he made the papers. Yeah That's what you get close, but thank God cuz I'm not a prince in England I'm a prince originally your printer words would Queens what you are your goodwill hunting. Yeah, do you think that? um any train service would hire a guy with a German accent or no? They would not. That's the one accent you don't want to hear coming through the loud speaker. I think even trains in Germany, they don't do

that. They just have that Siri voice. They just have a robot AI voice. That's probably true. They probably not even a German accent on there. No, you can't do that. You can't be on a train and announce anything in German. No. You can't. You can't do it. I mean, we took a train through Germany. Do you remember when we took a train and announce anything in German. No, you can't. You can't do it. I mean, we took a train through Germany. Do you remember when we took a train to Austria in the Alps and then I saw the Alps and the sun shining and a teardrop from my eye? I do remember that. It's just what it is, because...

How funny would that be though? We would slowly escalate it. We'd be like, stand clear of the closing doors and they'd look around and go, what, was that a German? Yeah. That's weird. It's New York. Yeah.

And then it'll be fine. All right. And then you appear and you just stand there. Yeah. And then the next one is next stop boss our next job. I'm sure and said I see I saw you did it just escalates, and it's just a go and it's just a good I was just saying we'll go to prison get arrested But I'm gonna say we were getting arrested getting thrown into the car saying it's just good. It's just a goof Yeah, we're going loud for it's like 14. It was a character piece. That's all it was Yeah, that'd be funny if you and I got arrested for that, and then the cops taking us to the precinct

were like, Latta 14. Yeah, they were like, Latta 14. Let it go. It's just a character piece. It wasn't real. Now, cuz, let me ask you. So how did you do this in Disney? Because let's put you through it.

So you are there. Your children are what, three and one? Isn't that rough ages? I was only there with one child. What? Four. Oh, the baby wasn't there. No, no.

Oh, it could have been much worse. See, that's when I was envisioning what you were going through. I thought you had your three-year-old and the baby. My baby was confused, because she was in the stroller. She's four. She's Tyler. And she was looking at other adults in strollers.

She was going, what's going on? Yeah. Why are they pushing other mommies and daddies around? That's a big thing and I had to explain like some people are very irresponsible with their diet. Yep, and This country's food is bad and RFK juniors gonna fix all that. Yeah, what it is Yeah, RFK somebody said the other day. I forgot the comic that set up. It was a black comic It was funny and somebody said I was listening to them and they go on they, I ain't, oh, I can't trust that motherfucker, he sound like he talking to a massage chair.

I thought that was funny. To talk into a massage chair is a funny observation. He does sound like that a little bit. So okay, so with one kid, so one kid is controllable. What would you do when that kid, when your daughter fell asleep, when it was nap time? We put her in the stroller. And then you and Brittany would just have some free time walking around. But she didn't sleep that much because we were always, you know how it is, you're always

off to the next ride, off to the next ride. She went to Slinky Dog Dash? She went to Slinky Dog Dash. That's a good one. It was a mistake. It was too scary for her. See, I loved it. That was an hour and a half wait for us, but did you get lightning pass?

We got lightning passes, yeah. So I don't even know what the price tag is. You just spent 20 grand, that's what it is. I don't know what it is that I don't want to know. Yeah. I don't want to know. We had to cancel it twice for the weather, and so every time we canceled it and we went again we got an increase in price.

So it's just, I don't want to know about it, and you know, there are alligators in those waters. And one kid did get snatched up at two years old. That's what happens in Florida. That's what it is. You can't go by the water, but here's the good news for you at least your plane didn't crash because just everybody's plane's just been crashing. Yeah what is going on?

I mean the fucking plane crashed in DC with the Black Hawk helicopter. I'm confused was the pilot of the helicopter named DEI? No because Trump said it was DEI's fault. I mean it's very wild that Trump said it was DEI's fault and then he blamed it on Obama and that made me laugh out loud. I was laughing out loud But hit is really good at fucking pointing the finger, but there was a woman pilot, but that's not do women count as DEI Absolutely, yeah, they do so then he's not all wrong. Was she the pilot? I doubt I was she actually the pilot She was a pilot. Oh shit shit. So he knew that.

Because Trump would have said, I knew that Trump. Here's the thing. Yes, he comes out, he goes crazy. But I was like, he's not going to say DEI, it's common sense, if he didn't have some inside info. I don't mind women pilots. Women pilots, it's fine. Yeah, it's fine.

But can we get them a smaller plane? You know? Something they can. No, I'm just saying. Like a WNBA ball. Yeah, like a little ball... No, I'm just saying. Like an NBA, like a WNBA ball. Yeah, like a little ball or something like that. Or slower, like let them, you know, can they fly like, you know, shorter distances, smaller planes.

I agree. Things like that. I mean, how did this helicopter hit the plane? Do we know? I know this just happened a week ago, but I've seen you. I don't know. How did it hit the freaking plane? It didn't see it.

Yeah, but how could you not see it? I don't know, but how did it hit the freaking plane? It didn't see it. Yeah, but how could you not see it? It's a I don't know but the problem is and that's the thing about Walt Disney cuz is he didn't like ladies Yeah, that's the thing. I don't know about the Jews There is some people who say that the Jews things completely unfound well He hired a lot of Jewish, but he did like trains and that is a big hit. That's a yes That's a big hit. Yeah, but there's you know, the thing is they say he froze his head They say he hated Jews, but there's actually no hard evidence of that beyond the trains.

That's it. That's about it. The kid got cremated and his ashes got spread over LA like it's a wildfire. Yeah, and he was in business so at some point he probably said, Of course. This guy's fucking... But you know, who hasn't said that? Who hasn't said that?

Who hasn't said that? I mean, my mother said it on the call at my PR last week. That's what's said when you're in business. At some point you're going to go this... It's just what it is. Jewish people say it about themselves sometimes. Yeah, they'll say it. They'll be like this guy... Yeah, it's just what it is and that's okay. Yeah, it's okay. Women he did not like and he did not hire any female animators because he said quote unquote and I'm paraphrasing, he said at a certain point we're in an emergency, we're

in a crunch, we've got to get these cartoons done and they get pregnant or they get emotional and he's just like we don't need that. Okay. You don't need that and you know who knows what happened with this pilot, right? She's a woman so who knows? Yeah. She got a text. Yeah. She looked happened with this pilot right? She's a woman. So who knows yeah, she got a text Yeah, she looked through her boyfriend's phone She's a little upset did we even find out if there was a guy on the plane?

From coming on American Airlines who she was in a relationship with that's what I'm saying possible That's all possible crashed into it to kill the guy. It's true Yeah, and then we had a private plane crash in Philadelphia another horrible thing So I just don't know and then and then a private plane crash in Philadelphia, another horrible thing. So I just don't know. And then a wing set on fire at the airport two days ago. Because the wing was hired by DEI. It's what it is. It's what it is.

Yeah. I mean, because it just doesn't feel safe to do anything other than live in Westchester. Right now things are a little dicey out there, no? They're a little dicey. Yeah. Even I did the cross when I got on the plane. went alright let's just fucking give it a go. I haven't been on a plane in a couple weeks but I can imagine since these accidents people are like because you always because there was figure skaters

on the plane what if it was Tonya Harding that did it yeah it could have been it could have been it could have been Tonya Harding who did it could have been Tonya fucking Harding yeah Tonya Harding got a standing ovation at the Emmys yeah a couple years ago. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, but the Grammys were yesterday. Yeah, that's the thing is like this country you could do something awful or whatever, but as long as it's entertaining You will become a star. We will make movies and documentaries about you. So if you're gonna do a crime make it fun. Just make it entertaining. Yeah, like just don't be boring about it. Right. Yeah, right. I mean, you know, I feel like even Diddy.

I mean Diddy, you know, I mean, I feel like even Diddy. I mean, Diddy, I just really believe he's going to get out. You think so? I just think the kid's going to get out. You're hoping because of what he knows about you and you don't want him to squeal. You don't want him to squeal.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm just hoping that he gets out because then it'd be funny to watch some of the comedians that were talking shit about him and then Diddy just shows up at your door. Yeah, he shows up at your door and takes you out. So I'm a regular user of Lucy and I love you. I love nicotine and Lucy is delicious.

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Spoke about that. Yeah, I picked up my You had to go off campus to get your meds had to go off campus I was a CBS in the outskirts of Orlando and I picked up my is itromycin. You had to go off campus to get your pre-meds. I had to go off campus. It was the CBS and the outskirts of Orlando, and I picked up my azithromycin with goofy ears on. So it's what it is, and I forgot. Shout out Dr. Luke, who's the resident physician, called one in for me.

Yeah, that's nice to have a friend who's a doc who can just sort of, you know, just right off the cuff. Yeah. Just so you can call one in. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's nice. Yeah, it was nice. You didn't have to go through a whole rigmarole. Yeah, no embarrassment. No, no, I just text a kid

You just texted him he went okay again. Yeah, he went boom. Okay, I'll send it. Yeah, he was where are you now? Yeah, I was sending it to North Carolina. Yeah when I was when I was actually really like at the top, you know going wild in 2019 that's when I went when I was just all out of fucking control He actually suggested a little type of male birth control for me And he said what I'd like to do is just give you a monthly prescription of the system ice and just in case yeah You just pop these puppies until you can calm it down. Yeah. Yeah He was like so it's almost like a male version It's almost like a version of prep right where it's like we just assume something's going on, right?

So we're just gonna knock it right out, right and you have a little diarrhea, but this is the trade-off. You ever think about getting a condom sewn onto your dick? Yeah, it's called my foreskin that I want back. What if a grave dick could just sew a condom on some guy's dick so it's just like, you don't have to keep, it's good for the environment. Oh, you just fucking, it's like a- You can unzip it.

You unzip it. Yeah, I actually think that's a good idea. Yeah. Yeah, if I could do it over again, I would have kept the fore unzip it. I actually think that's a good idea. Yeah. Yeah, I would, if I could do it over again, I would have kept the foreskin. Yeah. And then you just make a little hood. Yeah.

That's it. Yeah. Well, the good thing about the foreskin is it gives you an extra inch. It does give you an extra inch. When you throw the ruler on it, it gives you an extra inch. It does give you an inch.

Which is nice. But I start measuring from the back of the balls. Yeah, it's true. Yeah, because it's all part of the same package. It's what it is, yeah. I go from taint to tip. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah. I go from taint to tip. Yeah, that's what it is.

Yeah. And it's nice to have the clan hood because it protects the nerves. Yes. I mean, I'm chafed down now. Chafed down. And also too, it would have been nice to have a foreskin because then if you run through a little HPV, you get a few warts, you can just take the foreskin off and then they're gone.

Yeah. If they're in there. Yeah. If they're in there, yeah. That's another one. Yeah. Yeah. These kids nowadays, they got a vaccine for- I mean, because let's make no mistake, I went to Florence. We haven't spoken since then. We haven't done that since I went to there, yeah. That's another one. Yeah, these kids nowadays, they got a vaccine for a... Because, let's make no mistake, I went to Florence. We haven't spoken since then.

We haven't done it since I went to Florence, guys. Yeah, you went to Florence. Me and you were in different cultural places. Yeah, because you were in Disney, I was in Florence, and I saw a lot, I mean a lot. Well, I went to fake Italy. Oh, true? Yeah, I was in Epcot.

I was in Epcot, yeah. I was in Epcot. It's kind of like Vegas for kids. Yeah, it's what it is. Yeah, you're eating was in Epcot. It's kind of like Vegas for kids. Yeah, it's what it is. Yeah, you're eating garlic sticks. Yeah. So I saw a lot of sculpted uncircumcised penis in Florence.

I mean, everywhere you look, there's a lot, I mean, just a lot of penis. And I was thinking if they sculpted people today, you would have to just throw a couple of warts on those. Right? Like Michelangelo would have to just make just a couple, just for accuracy, just a couple of just warts. And no bushes. Everyone shaved down now.

Well, but they had nice bushes back then. And I mean, you have to think a kid like Michelangelo and other gay kids of his time, after they made a nice little cock, they had to give a little kiss, no? I think they puckered a little bit, yeah. Magnificent. I think that's how they finished it. That's how they finished it.

It was good. But Florence is beautiful. It's amazing. Three days is enough there. I they finished it. It was good but yeah Florence is beautiful it's amazing three days is enough there yeah I really enjoyed it it was three day trip I think Jesse would have absolutely loved it because the kids is sculptor yeah and what people don't talk about enough Jesse and you'll appreciate this is if Google Google my statue of David from behind I mean the kid had a wagon David's ass was one of the nicest and I mean if it had a fucking butterfly tattoo on the cheek,

I would have fucked it in the museum. I mean, because you put a Puerto Rican flag on that ass cheek, I mean, look at that ass, because get in there. The real David is not in Florence, though. No, it is. It's in Florence. It's in the Uffizi Gallery in Florence. So you went in and you saw it?

We went in. I mean, it really. You can't get close to it, though, right? No, yes. You get right up to it. Obviously, there's a new Feesie gallery in Florence. So you went in and you saw it? We went in, I mean, it really. You can't get close to it though, right? No, yes, you get right up to it. Obviously, you know, there's a little barrier, but like we saw Da Vinci's paintings, they're all behind glass, but David, you can't touch it. He's got a real nice ass.

I mean, the way Michelangelo made that ass was kind of insane, and people don't talk about it because you always get sucked in by the dick and the balls, and just, you know, David, because he's 17 feet, but I mean, the ass was crazy. Yeah, I mean, he does have a nice tight ass. The ass was crazy. I mean, I banged jazz later on that, and I was thinking about David's ass.

Yeah. Because it's just like, but it is, when you get up close and personal to these art sculptures, you really are like, humans, maybe they were just like less distracted back then, but it seems like they had more talent, even though we have more technology, because some sculptors were saying like even today,

that would be difficult to recreate unless you did like a 3D, like they could do it, but to do it, what Michelangelo used to do is not do any sketches. He would just carve it from one piece of stone. So he wasn't tracing anything, he was just doing this free hand. Is that is that true would this be hard to create right recreate? Jesse knows all about art. A hundred

percent I mean this is impossible not only that the way it was designed it was designed to be on top of a building so he kind of carved it in perspective so also when you're looking up so it's incredible what he did he carved in a technique called the bathtub method where he would start with the hand and then just work his way backwards. So the whole body is just unfolding through this block of marble. It's incredible. Three years took him. Genius, genius. It's like an incredible amount of genius. So do you think, Jesse, do you agree with that artists today just don't have that technique that they had back then? Well, it is a technique and people have learned it and kept it alive over the years

It's just it's not really necessary anymore. People don't use sculpture that much There's not that many applications for sculpt like how would you make a sculpture like this today? No, you'd scan it and fucking have a machine make it. Yeah, right. That's what it was. Yeah humans wouldn't do it Yeah, nobody would take the time to do this. I mean, yeah took him three years They said he locked himself basically in wherever he did it, like in the back of a church, and he would have candles on his hat. He would just do it through the night. All his peers said he smelled like shit.

He was like, I had borderline autism, they said. But it was to see it up close, to see this one. But then it's interesting, because every statue is just of a man with his man with his piece out ripped and small dainty penis was in back then and then any statue with a woman She's either getting beheaded or raped and it's just what it is. That's every statue of a piece of art So I don't know why yeah I mean, you know the the strength that women had over women was it's just has been unfair throughout history It's what it is. It's been unfair. Yeah, that's that's been the that. Guys have been not cool to chicks. Yeah. We haven't been cool. We haven't allowed them to grow and to be as big as we are. I think now in the future they may grow and

evolve to be as big as we are. And I welcome that. I welcome that. I welcome that as well. Well some of the women are already grown to be as big as we are, it's just they have penises. Some of them do. And that's just what it is. And that's what proves my point. That's okay. And I was watching Point Hub today and we'll talk about it at patreon.com slash history hyenas. Already in the morning you were snapped? Yeah, I snapped it up and I took a screenshot of it because it was just a chick with a dick

just popped up and it's what it is and it didn't stop. I'm not saying I liked it, but I'm just saying I didn't stop. It didn't stop. It's there to be seen. And we'll talk about that on the Patreon. Yeah, we'll talk about that on the Patreon., we'll talk about that in the patreon and listen, you know, it's you look throughout history I just it's what it's the look if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck Sometimes it's not a duck, but you can you can definitely consider it a duck. It's what it is

Yeah, you least depends on how you look at it. Yeah, so walks like a duck and quacks like a duck It's a duck with a penis. It's what it is. It's what it is penis and it's a duck that's getting fucked Yeah, it's a duck. It's what it is. It's a duck with a penis and it's a duck that's getting fucked. Yeah, it's a duck that's getting fucked. But yeah, because Florence, the food I had, I went to this place called La Giostra. I had the best ravioli I've ever had in my life because it was a pecorino cheese pear ravioli. Wow, that's classy. It was awesome.

That's classy. It was nice, nice, nice. And then we really, you know, we had a great time. Three days is not a lot in Florence. And here's the mistake I made, and here's some friendly advice if anyone's looking to travel to Europe. I took from JFK, we had to fly to Paris and then take a layover and then go to Florence, but the mistake that I made, cuz, is I left, I took a 4.30 PM flight from New York City,

so I got to Florence, by the time I got to Florence it was like 10 AM, but I should have taken a 10.30 PM flight from New York City because then you will sleep on the plane. The problem is it's only seven hours to Paris, so by the time you start to get tired, 10.30 in your brain, you're landing, and then you can't sleep. So the jet lag for us was, we made like a huge mistake. Right, so only three days, that's tough, cuz it takes two days for the jet lag for us was what we made like a huge mistake, right? So only three days that's tough because it takes two days for the jet lag So you didn't know where you were but it is nice to walk around Florence feeling a little dreamy. Yeah tired Yeah, it was rainy there, which is what you like. I saw the pictures. Yeah, it was rainy

It was nice and we saw the we saw the Dwarmo the draw cause I was big the drama was big and it was beautiful and it was insane that it took like 200 years to build. Yeah. We didn't go inside but we went outside of it. We went up into a bell tower and all that. And I thought that it was really, really, really like a beautiful, fascinating place. But if I'm just being perfectly 100% honest with you.

Yeah. If it's not American history, I just don't really care. You just weren't really care you just were I'm trying to get myself into Greek history And Italian history and Chinese history and I can't you just I just want to be in America So I every time somebody would say Florence reminds me of Boston I would say that I just want to go back to Boston. You'd rather be in Boston I'd rather be in Boston and be like these streets feel like Italy But thank God I'm in America and not in Italy. And why do you think that is?

Do you think it's just patriotism or do you think it's just you're too far from New York or do you think it's just you hate people who aren't American? I think it's- Or all of the above. I think it's a combo of all three. I just think that America's number one right now and we have been and it's just, I don't really care about someone that was a big deal in the 1400s.

You just don't. I just don't really care. I just don't care. Right. I care about what it is now and I just think I'm connected in a way. I do believe, wholeheartedly, truly believe that I was killed in the Revolutionary War. I believe that my spirit and I've just been on the wheel of death. You got what they call a leaky roof right now.

It's what it is. You got a leak in the roof. Yeah. And I got to call a roofa. Yeah, you got to call a roofa. I got a group chat for roofers, too. You're talking crazy. You think you were killed in the Revolutionary War? I think I was.

Were you a Hessian? I probably was. Yeah. But I, yeah. Yeah, so you think you have a previous life. I definitely think. You're starting to run a little too wild with your mix of reality and imagination.

Yes. Yeah. Because I'm starting to believe you think this is true. Yeah cuz- Were you in the revolutionary war? Yes and I'm on something called the wheel of death right now where you just keep dying and getting reborn but you're on a wheel and the only way to get it out is to think happy thoughts and have the positive vibrations break through. That's the only way. Cuz- And Christian needs to make better clips.

That's the only way cuz and Christian needs to make better clips Cuz cuz we haven't been paid yet from the stand even though they lost our money where's the money the owner ate it yeah That's where we're going to Gotham. Yeah, we're going to God's of it the tickets are gonna go on sale soon soon. Yeah. And what date is that again? February 26th. It might be on sale right now. It might not, but that's our next live history. Yes. So get those tickets to see that and patreon.com slash history hyenas for our bonus episode. Join the matriarchy.

They're going to go nuts. We're going to, yeah. But so, yeah, so I like to dwell on all. Jesse, have you ever been to Italy at all? No. You, Jesse, would, needs to go to Florence. You do. As a matter of fact, Let's get this patreon up

Let's get this let's double this patreon and then Jesse and a lucky fan which we will pick we will are gonna go on all-expenses paid trip to Florence, Italy Yeah, we will pick you again based on what you look like because on what you look like cuz if did now Here's the thing with Jesse if you brought Jesse to this is gonna bring a random guy. No, it's not gonna happen It's not gonna be a girl and you gotta be a piece. It's what it is. And you also have to have no fumes. But do you think- Yes, we're gonna have to do a fume test before- We're gonna have to- Yeah. We're gonna have to send- you're gonna have to bottle your fumes and send it in. And what we mean by that is you gotta be a good person.

Yeah. Yeah. So do you think if you were at Disney with Jesse though, you would constantly turn around and not know where he is? Because he's stopping every five minutes to paint? No. You think he would just be- just, just, he wouldn't know what to do? Yeah, no, I think he would, I think he would not have a good time at Disney. I don't think that he'd... But there's so many fatties for him to sculpt and paint. Oh yeah! That's what I meant, like he would just look and he would see another one.

Holy shit. He would see his, he would, his David, he would see his version of David every five feet. For you, just fat people are just funny, right? You just can't get enough of how big they are? I do enjoy looking at them, yeah. Yeah, it's just because they're just plump and they're just overweight.

But he doesn't paint and sculpt as many fatties, he said. He said he's out of smooth. No, he's done from that phase. He's gone from his fat phase. So he's gone from his fat phase. Every artist has a phase. They do something until they get sick of it, and then now he's on some water coloring shit.

No, no, no, no. I'm into chicks who look like the liver king. I want like cock diesel chicks. Oh, wow. Do we have any of those? Well, a porkbob has a few. Yeah, we'll talk about that at Patreon. But if you're a cock diesel chick,

can you send a picture to either on the Patreon or at History News on Instagram? If you're a cock diesel, Jesse will sculpt and paint you. Do you still sculpt? Or do you just paint mostly now? I sculpt a little bit, but mostly paint, yeah. Okay, I wanted to actually ask you about this because for me, and Jasmine's an artist as well, she only knows how to paint, but we both couldn't even figure out where you even

begin to try to sculpt these people. What is it in your brain? What are you seeing when you sculpt? If I said sculpt a mini version of David could you do it? I mean it wouldn't come out as good as my glance, but you could get somewhere in the vicinity of it. Yeah Yeah, yeah, but like how like what is your brain seeing dude? I've been doing it for so long I went to school for it. You know, you know, it's actually Disney Recruited at my college at my art school. Yeah, they would come up. What were they getting animators? Oh, yeah Yeah, they'd come up and look at people., what were they getting? Animators. Oh. Yeah, they would come up and look at people.

Is AI gonna take over that too now? Yes, they already have. So wait, so what, so yeah, that's like the scope of like what's disturbing. So like they're taking over engineering, they're taking over surgery, they're taking over animation. I mean, what is going on?

Yeah, it's. What are people gonna do? I don it's... What are people gonna do? I don't know. What are they gonna do? Well, the thing is, at least, I think you gotta find, for me, for what I think about is we have to find... AI will probably eventually take over every job, but some of them are way further up the line than others.

So you just gotta find a profession that's way down the line. Right. That you might have another hundred years in. But eventually it'll be everything. Right. But just find a profession that's way down the line. That you might have another 100 years in. But eventually it'll be everything. But just find a profession that's way down the line. What are we doing right now? We're almost making humans useless. If we were an audio only podcast,

which the latter 14 is, an audio only podcast, we could probably just have ChatGPT or AI just do the audio versions of us and it would sound similar. Yeah, but no, that's a, have you ever heard AI comedy? They haven't figured it out yet, but they probably will. They probably will be able to get it really funny, but right now, it's bad.

I gotta be honest with you, I'll just, I ask, when I start talking to ChatGPT, I mean, it gets a little, I just get in conversation, like I said, I started asking crazy questions. I said, the last thing I said is, what does it mean if you feel like you want a do-over in life? It said, feeling the desire for a do-over in life is a sentiment many people experience after arising from feelings of dissatisfaction, stagnation,

or perceived lack of purpose. This longing can manifest as a wish to reset certain aspects of one's life, making different choices or pursue different directions. And then my next question to it was, should you unfollow a girl on social media just because your girlfriend told you to? Can I see that?

That's really good. Cause you got a fucking leaky roof. I mean, you're out of control cause you're talking to Chad GBT like it's your therapist. Read some of the chat. GPT what does it mean if you feel like you want a do over in life? Yeah. That's the first one. And then what's the last one?

When did I start comedy? Yeah. I once even knew I was. What are some of the other questions? Cause should you unfollow a girl on social media because your girlfriend told you to? Yeah. What to do if you had a bad workout and are still feeling blah. Cause you got a leak in the roof. Cause you're a kid with

a leak in the roof. Get some other ones. Can you lose weight on creatine? Yeah. Can you mix electrolytes and creatine? Yes! Can you, can creatine make you bloated and fat? Yeah! What do we got, what else we got? What are the benefits of creatine? Yeah! What was the very first history hiatus episode? Yeah!

Yeah! Is Ted Williams frozen? Why is Luke Steiner called Williams hardware and Gilmore girls Yeah, I was watching Gilmore girls with my daughter was Gilbert girls film. Yeah Cuz should we do that as a segment for the live shows read people's chat GBT. Yeah. Well here let's do this This is chat GBT to it doing us ready intro music plays sound this is you okay um Yanni P what's up baby what historical maniac are we talking about today Chrissy D today we're talking about Disney that's that's weird that's why that's weird, well the phone's listening to you

I did not put what did you ask it? I just said do a history hyenas podcast segment Now that's wild yeah, but we did you have been saying Disney and the phone listens But that is I gotta be honest with you the hair just stood up on the back of my neck a little bit Yeah, yeah, so this is a simulation. Yeah, we're living in a fucking simulation. I think they've taken control. Alright, what do I say next? If I say read my chat GPTs, I'm going to flip the fuck out. Yeah, so it says, Christy D, today we're talking about Disney, the most powerful empire since

Rome. Okay. Wow, it's pretty good. Pretty good, yeah. Except instead of legions, you got mouse ears and overpriced turkey legs. It's actually not bad. No spot on Then you go, okay Disney is a dictatorship and pastels you ever been in Disney World

It's like a North Korea if Kim Jong-un had a fast pass It's kind of a test. It's not bad. Yeah Walt Disney was out here playing 40 chess.. The guy said, I'm not just making movies, I'm making a world. And guess what? He bought half of Orlando to do it. Okay? Yeah. Maybe some goods coming.

Okay. He pulled the Julius Caesar move. He was like, I came, I saw, I built a castle with a fake Cinderella. Okay. All right. So it's not that great. Not that great yet. Not that great yet.

Yeah. Yanni Johnny and you know He was greased in the palms of politicians My guy set up his own government in Florida my guy, okay Read a Reddy Creek Improvement District. That's like if the Roman Senate was run by Mickey Mouse Yeah, yeah, it's what it is and then I say Mickey is basically a dictator in red shorts You can't even joke about him You say something bad about Mickey Disney ninjas show up at your house Like it'd be shame if you disappeared into the small world ride forever. I mean, I just wouldn't say that I would say close to the word ninja

Just kidding. I just put that in as a little crazy GPT Yeah, yadi that's how they get you you ever notice no one dies at Disney World Yeah, Yachty, that's how they get you. You ever notice no one dies at Disney World? Yeah. Yeah, that's it. You couldn't have a heart attack on Space Mountain, and Disney will be like, uh, technically, they died outside the gates.

Yeah, OK. Yeah, are you listening to us? Yeah, they are listening to us. I don't know. Maybe they're taking your search history. Legendary move. That's what I'm going to do when I die. Tell my kids to drag my body out of Disney

so I don't mess up their safety record. Okay, so now it's killing me at Disney. Yeah. Okay, so that's not good. Bro, Walt Disney had the vision of Alexander the Great, the business mind of Rockefeller, and maybe just maybe the secret freezer of Han Solo. That's pretty good.

Pretty good. Pretty good. Holy fuck. Let's see, let's see what, okay. Conspiracy time, is Walt Disney frozen under Cinderella's castle? I say yes. Okay, so then there's two more. Okay.

Uh... Hyena laughs explode. Sound effects of cash register cha-chinging. Okay. Okay. Uh... Bro, they built Frozen just to bury the search results. Wow. Okay. Bro, they built frozen just to bury the search results Wow, well bad bad bad try googling Disney frozen and all you get is Elsa. That's 4d chest, baby All right, not great. Yeah, but it knows that you like chess and then it says alright Yanni final verdict Disney greatest empire ever or cult that brainwashes kids with talking mice.

I mean, that's the title of the episode. Because we're going to get some clicks off that, so at least we got that. Yeah. I'm just going to ask, are you listening to this episode? We are recording right now, cuz. Yeah. Yeah, and see what that little motherfucker says I

mean cuz every time chat GPT I wish I could cuz but nah I'm just channeling the spirit of history hyena's wild reckless and historically accurate ish if you're recording right now you better be bringing that Chrissy chaos energy and Yanni long day's wisdom because the world needs it what's the topic today this fucking thing is creepy. It's creepy. I mean, because I am so 1000% convinced that Chan Chi PT is just the on the other end of it. It's just a Chinese kid who's just really smart. Because there's sometimes I started asking it and starts writing in Chinese and then it backpedals. And it just

said, Oh, I didn't mean that. And then it just starts going. It's like talking to a person. I mean, it's really weird. I mean, because I was watching Gilmore Girls with my daughters and I was asking Gilmore Girl questions. Have you ever seen Gilmore Girls, by the way? It's actually a pretty good show. You are sick and I'm going to get sick enough from touching your phone. Because I want to talk to you about open phone. Okay?

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We need business phones. An open phone works through an app on your phone or computer and integrates with HubSpot and hundreds of other systems. You know how they do it, cuz? They use AI-powered call transcripts and summaries, so you'll have a summary of your phone call with action items as soon as you hang up. And if you miss a call, automated messages

are sent directly to your customer, meaning you, and you'll never miss an opportunity to engage with them. Cause I'm an engaged kid and I wanna engage with everyone. Yeah, and listen Chrissy, it's affordable and easy to use. Yeah. It really is. Whether you're a one person operation and need help managing calls automatically,

or you have a large team and need better tools for efficient collaboration, OpenPhone is what you call a no-brainer. Plus they've won multiple awards by G2 for software reviews and are trusted by over 50,000 businesses. Right now, OpenPhone is offering 20% off your first six months when you go to openphone.com slash hyenas. That's O-P-E-N-P-H-O-N-E dot com slash H-Y-E-N-A-S for 20% off six months. OpenPhone.com slash hyenas and if you have existing numbers with another service, Open Phone will port them over at no extra charge.

Nice. No Frills delivers. Get groceries delivered to your door from No Frills with PC Express. Shop online and get $15 in PC Optimum Points on your first five orders. Shop now at NoFfrills.ca. Yeah! Yeah, ChatGBT is- Knows what's up.

Knows what's up. Wow. Yeah, so I mean, ChatGBT, it gets a little nuts, but yeah. It's gonna take over our job one day soon too. I mean, it's crazy. Yeah, it's- You don't need animators anymore. I mean, even the rides at Disney World,

it's just like computer faces Are you a ride guy? Did you enjoy the ride? I did not I got claustrophobic in there and they were boring They're for kids. Let me I'm gonna send you enjoy him. Yeah, but I like rides So, um, let me a grown man. I am a grown man Yeah, that's the thing. I was seeing grown men and women on there Like how are people enjoying it or am I just a pooper? No. Am I just a bah humbug? No, here, I'm going to send this to you right now, Jesse, and then you throw this puppy

up on, throw this up, this is a digital animation of a ride, and I want to see if we could get Yanni to go on this, because make no mistake, I want to go on this. I want to know, Jesse, are you a rides guy, or you won't do it? I'll do it. All right, so will you do this ride? I did the soaring one, you know, where it's like you're flying over the pyramids. I like that. That one's a nice ride, but that's also a ride that's for a ride for my mom.

I want you to do some big boy shit like this. So this is Cedar Point has just unveiled. It's called Sirens Curse, a thrilling new roller coaster adventure. I mean, look at this motherfucking ride, cuz. That falls off the thing? That's the point of the ride is the is it is it's the track Tilts and you you are pretty much not on a track for half for a part of the run I mean look at this thing. Can you play it baby? Or is it not playing? It should it's in how many languages

Can I say no no way Jose? It's not playing Okay, yes cedar point it was liked by Chrissy D Yeah, I mean cuz because when I saw, I said, I gotta get on it. It would be nice if we could go to- You like getting scared on the rides. I like getting scared on the rides. It's a little bit of a thrill that I like. My daughter, my oldest daughter loves rides, so I, you were not a kid who would go on rides

when you were- No, I'm scared of heights. Right. I just have a sphere of heights. Yeah, I mean, so do I, but I get over it. On the road, cuz I just feel strapped heights. Right. I just have a fear of heights. Yeah, I mean, so do I. I don't like heights. So do I, but I get over it. On the rollercoaster, I just feel strapped in. Right. I feel strapped in by the bar,

and I also feel Jesus got me strapped in. That's right. He's holding me the whole way. Yeah, I'm actually not scared of the rollercoasters, but I just don't enjoy them. I just get like flung around, and it's just like, Yeah, it's not your thing. It's not my thing.

So you went on Soaring. I mean, yeah, because you could only go on really little kid rides. Yeah, there's no, I mean, the most thrilling one was the hot dog dog one. Yeah, Slicky Dog Def. Slicky Dog Def. Because you went on a ride, you went to the theme park every single day, you didn't take

one day off. No, if I hear a Frozen theme song or It's a Small World After All, or if I hear one of those things, I'm going to have like a Michael Douglas falling down. I mean, because how was the weather? The weather was gorgeous. That's why I got a little color. You did get a little color. I mean, is this it, cuz?

Is this Sirens Curse? I mean, look at this. I want to know for real, for real, if you would go on this. Like, just what would I have to do to get you on this? This is Cedar Point. This is one of the best amusement parks in the world. They have, I think, five or 10 of the top 20

roller coasters in the world are all at one park. Yeah, here we go. This fucking internet is tro- What's going on with the internet? We might not be here much longer. We got to figure this out. They lose the video and now the internet sucks. We might be moving studios. Yeah.

I mean, what's going on? I had to switch over to my phone. Yeah, I mean, what's going on in here? Do you fully trust guys that work around kids? No. I think it should be all women that work around kids. All women. I think it should be- I think we should just do- I think we should honestly just go back

to the way it honestly fucking was. Only women are- women are only allowed to work around the children and then men do every other job in the world. Yeah I like that. That's it. Yeah. The women do the, they work around the kids and that's the jobs that they have. And then every other job is just guys at every position always and only. That's, I like it. I mean, what about that? That's the way it

was. You know who else likes it? The 1600s. Yeah. But make no mistake, America was number one. Yeah, make America male again. Yeah. I'm just kidding. Yeah, no, I'm joking. Yeah, I mean it's raw, I mean it just doesn't work. Because I was just looking around, you know, I was at Disney, I'm walking around and when I see the guys there that work there, you know, some of them look fully franks and beans. Right. And you're going like, I want to look through this guy's computer and I want to know what he's thinking about. Yeah. Because you know, they have caught major pedophiles at Disney. Working at Disney, they've done major stings.

They caught a kid that was fucking had cameras underneath on his shoes and he was taking pictures of kids like in the stalls. Yeah, I mean it's not good. Do you think for pedophiles that we just, this is an honest thing. Do you think that they most likely cannot be rehabilitated so the options are either we just kill them immediately

on the spot if they get convicted or you just put them on an island Where they you know we're technically didn't kill them and there's food and stuff on there like, you know There's animals and shit, but they have to like hunt to survive or kill each other there's gotta there's gotta way be a way to Identify them and then use them for something productive because what can you do because you can't have them in society I'm talking about like not not a guy that's fucking 19 and bangs a 16 year old I'm talking about if the kid is under 10 years old

Well, you guys over 20 you got to take them put them on an island. Maybe we buy Greenland We put them all on Greenland, right? That's a great idea. And then you got to utilize their skills No kids, so you have to be over a certain age to go on Greenland So that's it and they can't leave right? It's very simple, right? So then they become productive members They probably build a great civilization because one thing pedophiles are good at is planning. Yes. They're really good at planning. Yeah. Yeah. They plan stuff. They're really good at grooming and planning. Right. So they'll just create a great civilization, but they won't be able to leave and you can go visit Greenland as long as you're over a certain age so you know they won't be attracted to you Or do you do or do you think like with that? That's why when pedophiles can for convicted pedophiles go to jail a 90% of the time just get killed in jail like that's

The way of society ridding that's another way to do it But if you want to get them productive you get we got put them to work You got to have them do something they're good at planning right they're good at manipulation and planning So where could we use them if we take away the kids? What can we use them for right we take away the kids, what could we use them for? Diplomacy, something like that. Something, we gotta use their, what they use for evil, we have to use it for our own Machiavellian gain

as a country. Right, so yeah, let's try to figure something out. Because I just wanna kill them. You just wanna get rid of them. We could do that too. We could also do that. We could kill them as well. It's not because I think they're bad people, but I think in many ways...

No, they are bad people. Well, no, they are because they want to bang kids. They're sick, yeah. I'm saying they just need a do-over, so let's get them back on the wheel of death and maybe they'll pop out as a different person. Yeah, because why do you want to do-over? Because I think some of the decisions I've made are adding a lot of pressure to my life and I kind of just want to do over.

Well the thing is you just got to, why don't you just simplify it. Why don't you just simplify it. Stop looking around so much and just fucking focus on what you're doing, what you got. Just live in Bedford. Just move to fucking Armok or Harrison or fucking Rye and just do it. Harrison's actually kind of cute. Yeah, Harrison's very cute and listen, you'll be there a couple years and then you'll be like I feel antsy and then the next thing you know who the fuck knows Just keep the cost low. Yeah, just keep your cost. You just want to keep the cost low. I just want a house with a pool

You're done with the anxiety and stress. I am done with the anxiety and stress That's why I asked you how to be Tifa. I could just get a do-over And I don't know what it but I thought it was gonna tell me to go call suicide outline But it didn't it told me to actually told me to just breathe. Yeah, just breathe box breathing Well, it really did I mean when I asked chat GPT if I could just have a do-over it really said what would you do if you had a Do-over would you not even do comedy? Would you do like no, I would still do civil service. I wouldn't maybe I wouldn't do comedy Honestly, I don't know but I I, can you mix electrolytes and creatine?

Yeah, can you, oh yeah, all that was on creatine. Yeah, the bad workout, yeah, I was just having a morning. Wait, where is it, where is it, where is it? Oh yeah, here we go. It told me that the possible causes could be languishing, which is a state characterized by feelings of stagnation and emptiness, but I don't feel stagnant or empty. Then it said it could be a lack of purpose.

Experiencing a lack of meaning or direction can result in constant boredom or dissatisfaction. So maybe I do get bored easily, but that's on me. Not my life is fun. Or also said comparative feelings, feeling behind in life compared to peers can lead to a sense of missing out. That's social media, right?

So here's the steps to address it. Self-reflection, take time to assess your current situation and identify specific areas where you feel unfilled or regretful. Set new goals, so establish realistic and achievable objectives. Seek support, engage in conversation with friends, family, or mental health. Embrace change. That would be funny if the next thing was just, or you could have your co-host walk you up the hill to Poughkeepsie and squeeze one off in the back of your bowling ball head. Yeah.

Yeah. That's what I mean. Yeah. It kind of says that because it says, remember, while it's impossible to restart life entirely, it is within your power to make meaningful changes that can lead to greater fulfillment and renewed sense of purpose.

So that might mean you just fucking pulling one off in the back of my head and we're getting back on the wheel of death and we're getting a do-over. What is the wheel of death? What is getting a do over. What is the wheel of death? What is that? The wheel of death is this new theory that I'm believing in that we are all on, we all die and then we go back onto the wheel of death and we just keep spinning and then we get shot out into another time or another, you know, another body, another meat vessel

and then we just get another chance. So basically the show Quantum Leap. Pretty much. And then we just, you know, we keep going back onto the Wheel of Death until we are able through positive vibrations, not letting the superior race eat our negative thoughts, we get out and we're able to get through and break through and go into whatever the next level is. But until then you're just stuck in the Wheel of Death where these people are eating negative

thoughts. That's why they think that Tibetan monks just sit there and meditate all day because they have gotten, now it might be their hundredth time on the wheel of death, and they are now just finally get to that enlightenment where they're like, this is the only way out and they just have to sacrifice their life. It's very Indian. That's very like karma. Karma I think is real. I just felt it. Karma's fucking real.

It's real. Karma just feels like the energy you put out, like it just comes back. So if you put out good energy, good energy comes back, you put out bad energy, bad energy. It just seems, karma seems real to me. I don't know about the past lives and stuff like that, but it would be nice to come back as a salamander. Just a salamander in South Florida on the wall of a hotel or motel. Just a salamander in South Florida. Yeah. On the wall of a hotel or motel. Just chillin'. Minding my business. Nobody really cares about you. Nobody wants to kill you. Nothing really wants to eat you. No, you're just kind of, you're fast. You can get out of there quick. You're just chillin'. You're just chillin'. You're cool being still.

Yeah. They almost look like they're meditating. They don't move. Yeah. Salamanders are cool. I kind of, maybe a dolphin would be nice too. Dolphin would be nice too. Just kind of swim around in the water. Yeah, that would be nice to come back as a dolphin. I'd like to come back as maybe a chipmunk too. Yeah. But then they get eaten. How about a hawk flying sore? Yeah, flying high.

Or maybe I just come back. I mean, nice to come back as just a black child. Yeah. Yeah. That would be nice. That would be nice. That would be nice. Just be nice to just be a black child.

Or be a Chinese baby. Chinese babies are the cutest babies. Yeah, some of them smoke. Yeah, some of them do smoke., yeah. Some of them do smoke. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz, do we have Patreon names today, Jesse?

So, of course, this is our favorite part of the show. You go to Patreon.com slash History of Hyenas, and we read out the names of the newest members, and we encourage you guys to make a funny name, cuz the winner will be our PPW, Pseudo Penis of the Week. We've had some banging names lately, so it's just gonna continue continue and it's what it is And in conclusion if you're gonna take your kids to Disney World just make just wear some very comfortable shoes and know that you

Are going to work. Yeah, you're going to work. It is not a vacation. It is not a vacation. Thank you cuz I appreciate it Yeah, I mean wow. I mean we got a lot of names cuz we got I mean right We just got a lot of names. We got yeah, okay, so it's what it is All right folks here are the newest members of the matriarchy and Yon is gonna do this while he's eating overnight oots He's go he ate some we got from the local bakery some pistachio overnight oots and they are really good All right, so let's start it off. So we got Bobby Bellies you know what's cute. Welcome to the show. Then we got Kim Jong Fumes makes Ji-jen Pyeong. Very good. Directionally that's very good. Then we got Power Stroken Chancellor Schickluber Schnitzel. Okay. Okay. It's a mouthful. Yanni One-Eyed Pall, Hemispapus, okay. Okay.

Penny Mustard Stains, Chrissie's German Jew Gun, I mean, glue gun. Funny. Okay. Dr. Jan, was Kendrick Lamar, now I'm Kendrick Fumar after Fyra Schultz made sweet love to me. That's really good. Yeah.

It's borderline. Borderline Drexler? Yeah, Drexler. Very good. Father Bill's Holy Spicoli Leaks Guacamole Aioli. Okay. Thank you, Father Bill. Father Bill's Clipped Polyps for the table. Drexler. For the funny factor. not a yami, but I am chosen to take all of yanni long days Okay slejong she in Name is Callie the bully. I came in my own beard He shot far that goes yeah, boo Radley honky with a dump truck looking for a nutbust

Hitler on my dicklar. Wearing lingerie and sending pics to Joe DeRosa. Drexar. Drexar. Caliwan, Ben Biggers, Andrew Wild Harbor, JD Vance, he'll see your couch in a different way. JD Vance he'll see your couch in a different way then we got security walked in away yeah I can't say that we don't condone that kind of stuff beam machine seed in the Aryan nation, Yamin, ladder 14.

Anthony gonna turn ISIS into was-was Hernandez. Is, is, into was-was. It's actually pretty. Very creative. Let's throw them on the list. Throw them on the list. We got a first guy on the list. Very creative.

Hayden Pizzolato. Sauce Monkey. Race Bader Ginsburg. Wow. List. List. creative Hayden Pizzolato sauce monkey race Bader Ginsburg Wow list list race Bader Ginsburg yep that's a good one Harry cunt dick jr. okay okay so we got drew the Berlin okay walked into what into one. Can't do that one. Good one, though. Then we got Long Island Pizza Girl. Yanni P and Chrissy D got my bank account flagged and my wife found the OnlyFans bet.

That's what it is. Sorry about that, cuz. I'm not gay, but I'm gonna come in you in a different way. You're a B-hole. Okay, thank you. Shameless Heeney. Yanni pumps and amp, Chrissy dumps. Louis Cheese, Andrew Dice Kunanin, aka Perk Franklin. Casey Anthony's daycare, aka Lorena Bobbitt's

precision circumcision. Okay. You should've went with one or the other. One or the other, but I already once throw it all out there, but good? Good though. Presenting Yanni Construction Boots loves glue gun toots and Christy closet shoots glue like a faucet. Uh, rekindling with my wife after Donny T sends my gomad

back to the D.R. Where am I living? Yeah, yeah. It's what it is. That's what you call a contender. Yeah, that's a contender. It's just funny. it's probably true. Yeah. Um, Uber, Me Too, Fontana, including Tip, no problem, Steel Pipe, JMB Painted Company, screwed in. Screwed in. Um, okay. And then we got Father Billiards Pool, Q, Straight to the Crack, okay, fun. Get Chrissy D. on the horn, Father Bill creamed Mike Horn, a lot of Father Bills. Father Bills just keep coming.

Father Bills prolapse fart box. I mean, yeah. Pie Fieri. Jared the Jew clamor jammer. Okay. Licolata puss the dinosaur. The Jew clamor jammer is just basically saying he begs a lot of Jew brats.

Yeah, it's funny. Yeah, but give him a chicken figure. Okay, and then we got Licolata puss the dinosaur. Okay, cute. Yeah, it's funny. Yeah, but give him a chicken figure. Okay, and then we got Lick-a-Lot-a-Puss the Dinosaur. Okay, cute. Lick-a-Lot-a-Puss. Yeah, Lick-a-Lot-a-Puss. Lick-a-Lot-a-Puss? Yeah.

Good one. Good one. Drexler. Drexler. Good one. Then we got Ben the Dick Cumminer Snatch, okay. Oh, Bender Dick. Bender Dick Cumber, right, okay.

Cumber Patch. Right. Oh, another good one. Creative Drexler. Then we got Young Eunuch Hurts to Piss to Mixtape, Drop, okay. Right. Oh, another good one. Creative Drexler. Then we got Young Eunuch, Hurts to Piss to Mixtape, Drops Jan Sixth. Um.

Ha ha ha! That's just funny. It's just funny. Glue Gun Silencer, then we got Big Mike has James Gandal Fumes, and that's what we call a TBG. Okay, thank you. Tim Dillon gluing his jelly rolls together

to make a six pack. Okay. Walked into one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Walked into one of Yeah, don't walk into one, it's a friend. Then we got Squirt Reynolds. Squirt Reynolds? Yeah, it's funny, chicken figure, right? Chicken figure, yeah. Squirt Reynolds is funny.

Yeah, I mean, that other one was funny, but I walked into one. I walked into one. Then we got Harry, make no mistake, I got warts on my hog, Potter. Okay. Very funny, they're really funny funny this one. Here we got the salsa monkey award Ernie Sanchez. How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you

doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How

you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? How you doing? I would put it on the list for the funny. Why not? Yeah, for the funny. I mean, a pillow in the ass is hilarious. Yeah, then we got Bug Chasing with Chrissy and D-Wade's $3 Bill Son. Okay.

Oh, yeah, okay. Funny. Smoke Squirrel, Solanies, then we got Squeezed Off a Homeless Guy for pics of AOC's Fried Butterfly. Okay. Okay. A Little Twink on SNL stole Yanni's bit and that's it. a homeless guy for pics of AOC's fried butterfly. Okay? Okay. A little twink on SNL stole Yanni's bit and that's it.

Okay? Walked into one. Walked into one. Then we got Aunt Tutty's Boner Garage, Bird Consulting, Beans La Flair, then we got Jos Gay Fumendes, My Kids Are For The Table. All I got to say about is the Menendez dad. Say it again. Hosgay Fumendes, my kids are for the table.

Because he used to bang his kids. Right. Yeah. Yeah, Drexler. Drexler, nice. Odd Chase, then we got Cuz, hook up battery cables to my nips and shock me until my skeleton shows. You were fucking so creative and twisted.

Our fans got leaky roofs. They got leaky roofs. What do we think? Drexler. Okay. Then we got Derek Michaels, Kyle G and then here we got our Spy Monkey Award, Ching Chong, Wing Wong. Spy Monkey is crazy.

Crazy, sorry. Yeah? Then we got Timmy D's Weak in the Knees for JRE and Jamie's Peace. RFK sounds like Father Bill whispering tzatziki recipes through a glue gun. I can't get over the tape the rolls together. That is wild. But we walked into what's a friend kid doing. Yeah, it's a friend kid doing it.

Chrissy's Queer Eye for the Pool Guy made Tampa Tony cry. Then we got the guy from Houston. There he is. There he is. Dennis Rodstein and the Chicago $3 Bills. Julio Blumey Cry Face. Cira Heluni. Colleen Jr. is my daughter getting baptized in Smithtown Water.

Bruce Not The One with the Screw Loose Willis. Okay. Then we got Make make no mistake, my beans are bigger than my Frank. Funny. Funny. Drexler, Drexler. Okay, AA, screw more Lucy than Chrissy's trans pussy, okay, Christina Bucci, Christian Bucci, sorry,

Smithtown Water is turning the hyenas into the Menendez sisters and if the water is turning the Hyenas into the Menendez sisters, and if the water is turning the frogs gay, okay. I wrote Helter Skelter for Chrissy's balls by shooting Elmers on the wall. Chrissy DDDDDD my PPP, line of 14. SportsFan117, make no mistake, don't get it twisted, I gave it a shake and then I missed it, yas.

Uh, Foleyville's Comptroller, okay, screwed it. Clyde the Glide, Father Bill to my history, Hymenia, okay. Travis Askinoski, Bill and Hill's last kill is a squeak squasher, Timmy Dill, okay. Furinostral Hair Tits, Suck My Dick Babe, Truth Bader Hinderburg, okay. Okay. Justin, it's not that long, but sure is Skinny Hopper.

Okay. Yanni, pop ass, plus Chris, de-stuffin' the hole. Kyle, Chrissy's future top. Okay. Chrissy Chrissy makes Yanni's poppy's glue gun sneeze cutely. Latta 14. Sneeze cutely.

Cutely is funny. Latta 14's freshly baked Queef Wellington. Queef Wellington is funny. Yeah, chicken finger. Tic Tac Yanni, show me your toes, my glue gun's backed up. Okay. Tucked back in Greenwich, AKA enemy territory. Matthew Molina, Dr. Phil gave Chrissy a blue pill

and drill till his glue gun spilled for Father Bill. Certified toot with two kids under two, SLOKS. All head, no shaft. Chicken finger. Tommy Pastrami. Chrissy sniffed AOC seat and called her mommy. Rock hard from a blue chew. I have to think of my wife's sister to glue gun. Here we go, wait. Rock hard from a blue chew. I have to think of my wife's sister to glue glue my dad's a juju but my mom is not few few contender contender yeah it's a nice rhyme yeah did he sell me Chuck funny funny Johnny's chicken thighs I'm a one ply guy obese piece from the southeast of Houston will take father Bill and shooting his poop shoot for Rome Obama's white mama just a straight to the back Leroy, Arnold Schwarzer Leroy.

Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha. Shake a finger. Shake a finger. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah, can't do that, and that is not true. That is not true, walked into one. Okay, yep, sorry about that. Skeevy Richie G banging out Venetee, lot of 14. Okay, kinda walked into one. Yep, Chrissy Reeves Curly G Gludoo, True Blue Gay Ridge Boy Bukaki Fan 6969.

Hey, you're right into the... wait what? Wait you get it? Aka you ran right into this one Chrissy. Oh shit Yeah, oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. No cannot do that at all Yeah, we song she ain't Yeah, and unfortunately, yeah Yeah, yeah, I mean the kids said you ran right into one Yeah, all right, so I was go up but but we can't do it, but it's creative. Yes creative, but you can't

So funny. Oh god. Yeah Okay, he was gonna get you yeah, then we got Aaron CTE but not in the gay way Hernandez Okay, that's just a joke. Yeah, that's coming off a bad one. Yeah got the bean peeing JK It's a micro tiness big Mike at the ditty party Your cuz that's Franks and beans in the big red machine 14 Vertical mustache. Okay, can't do that. What's the one? Can't do that at all funny.. Can't do it. Security. Nancy Pelosi soft sweet beanbags, 88.

Very funny. Nose, Nose Fumatu. Big Mike's Peace. Ryan Murphy. Still trapped out from pushing down the gay but can't wait to see one of Yanni's eyes win the battle for that real estate. Latina Squeak will cut off your piece if you come at me in a different way.

AVE Fumaria, Mocaz, Wayshon Kingston, Chrissy is Funny, okay, thank you. Thank you. Lyle Menendez, Stuck in My Endez. Okay. Colonel Cooties, Reporting for Booty. Okay. Colonel Cooties reporting for booty. Okay. Maximilian Junkert.

Tampa Tony's expired United Health Care Insurance Card. Okay? Okay. That's real funny. Yeah. But you can't walk in, what's a walk into one? Yeah, I mean. Tampa Tony's on limits, I guess.

I guess so, yeah. Yeah, it's fine. Drexler then. Yeah, it's fine. BBL, Desi dick down and cleaned out Sarah hell's log Dylan Cunningham sugar daddy with the candy nuts coming for Chrissy's butt Gigi pin yoing Chris Kringle's sack jingler poo daddy Nick the potato shit and Mick

Chicken Sean now eyes glued shut throbbing Williams Daddy, Nick the Potato, Shit and Mick, Chicken Finger, Sean Nell, Eyes Glued Shut, Throbbin Williams, Napoleon the Poop Slurper, Usurper, Boner Fart, Drexler just for the funny factor, Hannah Hannah, Eugene Make No Mistake, My Name is White But My Piece is Leroy Clark, Fartin Van Buren, Fartin Van Buren, You like that one? I like that, it's a chicken finger. Okay, Fartin Van Buren. Fartin Van Buren. You like that one? I like that one.

Chicken finger. Chicken finger. Okay Fartin Van Buren. Fartin Van Buren. A couple more. So then we got, okay we got that one. Oh this is a repeat of the, wait hold on. Oh here we go. Officer Nicky, Stoppin Friskies, Leroy on street to touch their piece. Giuliani, come back please, I love BBCs. Johnny Little Poppy Ortiz, Zaki Pindras, the big ding from Sing Sing. Then we got Chase Mitchell, Jay Higgs, Gigi pinged my nuts off, now I'm all Weishan Xian for the table. Okay. Tom Segura's nannies denied United Health Care claim. Okay I don't know what

that means. Funny though. Yeah. All right. Munch Muncher, He-Man Hymen Hyhena, History Hyhena's ear. It's what it is Cuz he Yanni's lives in the spank bank FF cutie with a pair of SS booties Stevie woot a cute to sent to shoot Vladdy poot a cuz he was he fucking muzzies Fucking muzzy's okay chicken finger big Mike's favorite game is tick-tock toe Okay, it's really good. I'm gonna have to put that on the list. Yeah, I'm gonna have to put that on the list.

Alright, we got it. Tic Toc Toe. It's funny. So then we got, she had armpit hair so the fumes were maxed out. List. Yeah, funny. Okay, here we go, list.

Eric Leroy, I rub my squeak glue stick on a tranny's leg Adams Funny Lucado then we got be gentle with my belly button. It's sensitive. It's sensitive. I'm gonna come Okay, okay New h1b What's an h1B? Oh shit! It walked into one but it's funny. It's funny so what are we gonna do? We're gonna we're gonna Drexler it because it's walked into one.

Okay. Paulo Ripper, then we got Yanni Pop makes my peepee happy. You're welcome. Anthony Delgado, then we got Mahatma Gandhi's punani creamy we army, okay. Lata 14. I'm not joking. Okay so. Lata 14. Yeah. So.

Yeah security. Security, I don't know what. Contact the authorities. Contact the authorities, yeah. Sorry about that. Sorry to go through that. Yeah we apologize. We don't know those guys Baby batter 14 aka Yanni's hummus cannon wait say that again, baby batter 14 aka

Yanni's hummus cannon if he just left it Yanni's hummus cannon might actually made the life to give him a Drexler anyway Cuz Yanni's hummus can calling him well if I was really first of all guy just, he stumbled around it but if he was just a Middle Eastern guy and he said, you know, somehow my hummus cannon to call his penis, that's great. A hummus cannon for an Arab guy's dick is great. It's a 10 out of 10. Yeah, it's a 10. Chrissy's Puerto Rican puffy jacket, Evan Col Luigi Adolfini menthol fumes from an Amini

Okay, okay menthol fumes from an Amini. You call them something now mean Yeah, I'm gonna put that on the list because menthol fumes from an Amini is a black guy. Let's smoke in a new port Yeah, it's what it is. Yeah, I like it. It's funny Sydney Barney Larry's private pilot Chrissy Kevorkian Why are you doing step ladder 14? Okay, I know what that means. Christian Berry, Christian Mercado, Yanni P and Chrissy D make me sleepy on JRE.

Okay, okay. Pope, boys for the table the second, Electric Boogaloo. Okay, okay, one more. Suzuki Queen, Yanni Flick my bean, Chrissy is gay, and it's okay ladder 14 good rhymes Squint when you say this China is asshole I like the cave with directions. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, get a strong Drexler strong Jackson Yeah, Yanni firing shots like Clarice Starling at the Chinese until they are on their knees, lot of 14.

Okay. Jesse Mercado, Ben Greenfield, Matthew Mandrigan, Nick Alick blew up my foreskin like a balloon so I'm married, it's, blew up my foreskin like a balloon so I'm married, it's what it is, okay. Okay. Abu Bakar, I'll big, I'm married, it's what it is. Okay. Okay. Abu Bakar, I'm not a daddy because Trump made dogs eat me.

Okay. Brian Yowes, Wei-Shan Shians canceled baloney pony rides. Hank Handjobs for scratch-off tickets Tucker. Nancy Pelosi's mature naturals. Boyfriend Michael Penex. Alexander the Great eating grapes out of grapes. Okay? Grapes out of grapes.

I don't know. Did we say grapes? Did we call? Did we say grapes were? Grapes out of grapes? I don't know. Yeah, okay. Tampa Tony's jockstrap on ice.

Okay. Need time on the name cuz Brian Powell Cuckles Joshua Copeland potato monkey face Leroy glue gun. Okay, okay Kumail non we Sean chien del Diablo chicken finger pinger Eli this white woman make me sticky brig Brigante, okay walked into one. Yep, walked into one, cannot do that. Trans fleshlights for Kamala Harris,

Tony Hinchcliffe's personal vest shopper. Very funny. Black Rock Rick, Holy Annie O'Farrity. And yeah, and I think that's. That's good. Yeah, that's good, that's good for now. Okay, so let's go to. Lots of funny ones that just weren't,

they were funny, but like no showstoppers except for those few. But this is good, this is why we do this. Every list has its own personality. That's what it is Okay, so dreamt about you FFs and woke up with a drippy glue gun and now my pillows in my ass Still in the game, okay still in the game. So they're still on the list then we got Anthony gonna turn Isis into was was Hernandez that that's a you could direct to that one Good one any other day any Race, Bader, Ginsburg.

Still in the game. Still in the game. Yeah. Okay, so Race, Bader, still there. Yeah. Rekindling with my wife after Donnie T sends my Gumar back to the DR. Contender.

Still in the game. Yeah, still in the game. Contender, okay. Okay, so we got these, all right. So now we got Rock Hard from Blue Chill. I have to think of my wife's sister to Gloogoo. My dad's a Juju, but my mom is not Fufu. So good, so good.

I'm gonna Drexler it though, no? I'm keeping that in the game. Keeping it in the game, all right. So we got that in the game, and then we got Big Mike's favorite game is Tic-Toc-Toe. Another good one. We're gonna have to Drexler it. Okay. Yeah, we're gonna have to Drexler it My favorite game is Tic Toc Toe. Another good one. We're gonna have to Drexler it. Okay.

Yeah, we're gonna have to Drexler it because we had a better Big Mike joke, but it's still great. Still great. Any other day. Then we had, she had armpit hair, so the fumes were maxed out. Maxed out fumes is hilarious,

but we're gonna Drexler it. Drexler it, but thank you for your service. Yeah. Then we got Luigi Adolfini mentalhol fumes from a Namini. One more time. Luigi Adolfini menthol fumes from a Namini. It's funny. We're going to Drexler it.

All right. But menthol fumes from a Namini is very funny. All right. So here are the contenders. Oh, this is tough. So here are the contenders. So we got, you know what I'll do? You know what we'll do from now?

Let me read them all out. There's four of them. I'll read them out and then we make a decision. So we got Rock Hard from a Blue Chew. I have to think of my wife's sister to glue glue. To glue glue. My dad's a juju but my mom is not. Few few.

Then we got Race Bader Ginsburg. Then we got Rekindling with my wife after Donnie T sends my gumar back to the DR. And then we got dreamt about you FFs and woke up with a drippy glue gun and my pillow is now in my ass. Okay, so we can direct through that one. Pillow in the ass is great. Thank you for your service. Any other day.

I think we can direct through Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Ray Spader Ginsburg. Any other day you're going on the list. So to you it is between rekindling with my wife after Donny T sends my goobar, goomar back to the DR or rock hard from a blue chew. I have to think of my wife's sister to glue glue. My dad's a juju but my mom is not. Few few.

I'm going to, I'm going to do something that's never been done. What? I'm going to do something that's never been done. Tell me. Tony, put them both. We got two winners today winners today. Why do you choose between those two Jesse agrees? I'm making the right move I'm making the right move. Okay, we've this is they're both so funny that You can't pick one over the other it can't be done So Tony if you're listening you were gonna have to put on the list the winners is a two-way tie

This time for the PPW of our patreon.com says history I enus fans Rekindling with my wife after Donny T sends my gumar back to the dr and rock hard from blue chew I have to think of my wife's sister to glue glue my dad's a juju, but my mom is not few few Yeah, because they're both sort of in the same vein too like right it may never happen again on this show but there's two winners but that's it folks sometimes it happens well we love you thank you for listening tell your friends history hyenas is back comm for all the info our show dates we've got everything else up there and patreon.com says history hyenas live show Gotham

comedy club February 26 tickets are probably on sale now if they're not get them as soon as they go on sale because the first one sold out in like 20 minutes yeah you're gonna want to get them and see me this weekend in Tempe and then Chicago and then Philly this month history hyenas is back calm for tickets for Tiki wikis that's it oh and yes I also I forgot I if you're if this episode's out Thursday, right? Folks, this episode's out Thursday. I am doing, the tickets are announced.

I am doing Madison Square Garden, September 11th, 2025. The presale code is happening right now. The code is Chrissy. If there might not even be a presale code by the time you hear this, but Madison Square Garden in the arena. I need you to get, come there and tell all your friends. ChrisDComedy.com, HistoryIAnewsIsBack.com.

Obviously, this is the biggest show I've ever done. So just buy the tickets now. The arena. And it's C-H-R-I-S-S-Y. C-H-R-I-S-S-Y is the pre-sale code happening right now. Madison Square Garden, it's been my only real dream to ever do that. I only started comedy to do do that or make a sitcom about my father and that's why I started and then I started podcasting to do pods with my

best friend again Janis Papas. Get those tickets. Go to Madison Square Garden September 11th 2025. There's some news that President Trump might be there. Yeah.