History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - The Myth of Thanksgiving | History Hyenas

Episode Date: November 27, 2025

Chris and Yanni take a look back at what really happened at the first Thanksgiving and meet some of the wild characters involved. Then the boys take turns saying what they are thankful for. Loosen your belt, unbutton your pants, and come along for a fun ride. Support our sponsors: Upgrade your denim game with Rag & Bone! Enjoy 25% off sitewide during their biggest sale of the year, November 23rd through December 1st (a few exclusions apply). Plus, stack our exclusive code HYENAS for even more savings at https://rag-bone.com #ragandbonepod Take advantage of HexClad’s Best Sale of the Year and GET UP TO 52% Off by going to https://hexclad.com/HYENAS #hexcladpartner To get 15% off your next gift, go to https://UNCOMMONGOODS.com/hyenas Give and get timeless holiday staples that last this season with Quince. Go to https://quince.com/hyenas for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. #comedy #Podcast #History Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas/ Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit.ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0 Hyenas Merch!!! https://store.historyhyenaspod.com Follow us Cuz! 🙆🏻‍♂️ Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ 🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ 🐕More Hyenas Website: www.historyhyenasisback.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/historyhyenas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HistoryHyenas Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/historyhyenaspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you fly an Emirates business class and you're picked up by your private luxury chauffeur driven car. You'll see that your vacation isn't really over until your flight is over. Fly Emirates. Fly better. Guys, happy, happy, happy Thanksgiving. We are going to give you a wild history of Thanksgiving and tell you what we're doing on Thanksgiving. And it is a very, very funny episode. And buckle up and listen on low. Don't listen around your family or else you might get in trouble. Come see me December 31st. New Year's Eve shows Count Basie Theater, Christycom, or History Hyenas is Back.com.

Yes, sir. See me in Stanford, Connecticut, December 5th and 6, Austin, Texas. December 11th through 13th, West Nyack, New York, at the Palisades Mall. Levity Live, December 19th through 21st, and then catch me in Cobbs the day after New Year's Day. Cobbs Comedy Club in San Francisco, January 2nd, and 3rd. Because you've got a big December.

I got a big December coming up. Listen to this episode. You're going to enjoy it. Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble. What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of history. Hyenas. Happy Thanksgiving. Hopefully you have a turkey wing in your ass right now listening to this episode. Macaroni and cheese in your pants. I'm Chrissy D. That's Yanni P. And we are your thanksgiving tits. We are Thanksgiving boys. We're just a couple of little Indians sitting across from a couple of white men saying, how saying pasta mashed potatoes. Yes, it's what it is. We have. We have. have Jesse the Jew on the ones and twos. Half Jew. Jesse the half Jew on the ones and twos.

In 10 years, it'll be full Jew again. Right now, the heat's on. So what we're going to call him then, just to make it simple, is he's half Jew, Jesse. He's half Italian Jesse for now. And again, if things get out of control, remember, he's going to be walking a Rangano. What's him out of me? So we got half Jew Jesse. And then we have Nick the Indian off to the side.

Nick is from a Latino country, I think Guatemala or Honduras, one of them. But he does look Native American, and he is going to Thanksgiving and Massapequa, which is probably the most Native Americans sound the name on Long Island. But basically what happened is, is there's no more Native Americans in Massachusetts because Republicans came in there and said, get the fuck out. Yeah, that's the new Jamestown. They said, we built a fort and we want you on the other side of this wood wall. Yeah, the Long Island guys came and said, we're building a fort here in Massapequa,

and we're going to name it, Target. Yeah, Nick, there's no other way to slice it. His people got the short end of the stick on Thanksgiving. It's what it is. Yeah, I mean, Thanksgiving originally, the Indiectuary, and Thanksgiving, Indians, which I, they're really native people, but, you know, as we said, Christopher Columbus just said, you're fucking Indians. Now, I mean, Christopher Columbus basically treated the native people the way we do, we do in New York when someone says we're Ecuadorian, we say, nice to meet you, Puerto Rican guy. That's what it is. Yeah. Now, Nick has done a very smart thing with his hair. What he's done is in preparation for Thanksgiving is he has, you know, the long hair on the sides and a beard, and then he has a hat on. So you think he's got a full head. But then when he takes his hat off, he's bald in the middle. And that's what we call a pre-scalp.

Yeah. This is how he saves himself from getting scalps. He's already hid myself. Yeah. So I'm good, guys. That's the way you do it. It's called the M&M. You diss yourself so they can't dis you.

So, yeah. Yeah, on the top, he looks like Jason Alexander. From the back, it's Theo Vaughn. It's what it is. It's a little bit of misdirect. Yeah, it's what it is. Yeah. It looks like he's wearing a Halloween hat.

Yeah. Comes with hair coming out the side. Yeah. Yeah. It's just what it is on the sides. He looks like Alexander the great, long flowing hair. and in the middle he looks like Jason Alexander. He does. Exactly.

Yeah. Yeah. Thanksgiving is a time that we give thanks, but more importantly, we watch football big. Big. Yeah. And Thanksgiving for me is a time that I give thanks. And with certain members of my family, a time where I have to be on Zoom calls with Rikers Island. It's what you got to do.

So there's just a couple of virtual visits that have to happen around 4 p.m. From my Thanksgiving table to a little place called Rikers Island. Now, I used to do social work for Lutheran Social Services. and, you know, Thanksgiving is a big time. And we're doing social work again. Nick is on Snap benefits. It's a time where, you know, Thanksgiving is a time where the poor always get turkeys. You know, Nino Brown like to hand out turkeys.

Have you ever, I think it's a good thing if we all figured out a way to get on one of those lines? Yeah. Get on one of those lines and wear an apron and scoop mashed potatoes and hand it to a guy whose body odor is less than decent. It's what it is. I've done it. Here's the thing because I've also spent Thanksgiving at my brother's school a few times and got served mashed potatoes by somebody who has Down syndrome and I am ashamed to say I couldn't eat it. Yeah, well, it's not, no, don't be ashamed to say that. I was a kid. It's what it is.

Don't be ashamed to say that. It's just, you know, it's like my kids are, my daughters in preschool and they're having like a Thanksgiving thing where all the kids are going to get together and make pies and soups and all the parents have to go and I'm not going to eat it because the last thing I want is booger soup. I don't need, I don't need a pecan pie with my daughter's boogers in it. So, and the other kids coughing on it. So what you'll do is you'll politely pass and say that you have some type of stomach ailment or that you're fasting, but you'll be there in support. I'll put the, you know, paper mache turkey on my head. I'll do all that, but I'm not going to eat food from little children. I'm not going to eat food from

people with Down syndrome. I love people with Down syndrome, but it's just there'll be a little drool in it, and it's just not what I want right now. That's all I feel like you could be honest about that. If there's any moisture like leaking out of their face, you just can't do it. It's just what it is. And what I did was I just simply said, even though I was like eight or nine years old. I just simply said, I am protesting Thanksgiving dinner. I don't eat it because of the colonial aspect of this whole thing. That's what it is because you have to just be honest with who you are and what you're about. When we used to go to that pizzerie in Bay Ridge, I couldn't eat because that waitress had one arm. That's right. And a lot of times she would serve the pizzas

and there was one time where there was a little regatta cheese on the nub and I just couldn't eat there anymore. That's now that doesn't make me a bad guy. No. It just doesn't. It just makes me an honest, truthful person that I'm not just going to eat. You know what I mean? I just don't want parsley on the nub and then I can't eat the pizza. That's all it is. I just thought that that was an odd choice. In retrospect, that's probably not the best thing to have a one-armed waitress considering you got to carry things to and from the table and people walk in with an appetite and they may lose their appetite. Well, you at least got to come in, you at least got to come in with a prosthetic arm, like at least look like the winter soldier when you're giving me my pizza.

Right. Don't come in with your full nub out. Again, I respect it and I know it must be difficult for you and I'm sorry, but I'm just being honest, but I, you know, it looked like a tutsy roll with an at the end, I just can't deal with it. Yeah, just put a cup on it or something. That's all it is. Yeah. Perfect genius marketing. Yeah.

Put the cup from the restaurant over there, over the nub, just while you're working. Pay a fake hand on. 100%. Yeah, something like that. 100%. That's all I'm saying. I'm not meaning to be disrespectful and I hope the girl's not listening. I'm just being honest.

Yeah. You know, I'm not naming names. I don't know her name. But I just couldn't eat at that restaurant because she had pepperoni's on her nub. Yeah, I'm not trying to be able bodiest or anything like that. It's just there's certain jobs that requires two hands and two feet, being a waiter or waitress is one of those things. That's all it is. If somebody rolled up in a wheelchair, I would say, listen, this is maybe

not the right job because you're taking up a lot of space at the restaurant and it's taken a long time to bring me my water. What it is. Now, speaking of Down syndrome, my father will be at Thanksgiving. So that's good and it's going to be nice. Now, he's lost his teeth. So the issue is he's lost his teeth. He has no teeth. So how's he going to eat turkey with no teeth? He's got to put some in. Or do we just feed him mashed potatoes? Does he get fake teeth? He's not he hasn't had the fake teeth put in? Well, he has to. fake teeth, but he lost him because I'm pretty sure my daughter flush him down the toilet. That's going to be

an issue. Then you're just going to have to feed him apples sauce. Applesauce and mash potatoes. Now I'm Greek, so you know, we carry our... You guys just eat a little boy. We eat lamb. Yeah, lamb. But lambs are... That's the thing. You guys like to eat babies because lambs are just baby sheep.

They're baby sheep and, you know, a lot of people think wolves are the number one predator of lambs. Greek human beings. Yeah. Number one predator lambs. Yeah. We kill those That's what it is. And we hang them up, we put them on a spit, and we put them outside, and all the children think that we're cooking our dogs.

The thing is, is you start to eat, lamb, usually. The last thing it ever feels in its life is just the bite, a little tickle of a mustache, and you don't know if it's from a guy or girl, because they're Greek. That's all you, that's, you just don't know, and we are Greeks. We are the Puerto Ricans of Europe, or as Chris likes to call us. The sea nicks. Way song she ain't. The sea digs?

The C-dings or the C-Nicks? 5'14. This is an interesting way to get around it. Yeah, it's just a C-Nick. That's all it is. Way song she is. I'm going to Massa Piquo with Nick. You go to Massiffica with Nick.

So what you're basically saying if you're at home is just, if you know what Nick's ethnicity is, just think about what the word that would go there is. And what I encourage you to do is whomever, you know, you if you have members of your family from that culture, It's called them a C and then whatever first name that is. Yeah, yeah. So now, because the truth is this.

The truth is this. Don't tell me lies. Tell me the truth. The truth is this because we're going to do a thing. I love when you pop that bottom fucking level out. Yeah. Yeah. And pop that bottom level out like it's a bunk bed that flies under. Yeah.

Now, the truth is this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like to be this constant. Yeah. The truth is this is I'm having Thanksgiving at my house for the first time and a lot of Jasmine's family's coming over. So I know one thing and one thing only. They're all going to get smallpox.

Yeah, they're all going to get smallpox. I've given them blankets, and I'm going to eat Thanksgiving off paper plates. That's for sure. That's just what it is, and I actually like that. It's easier to clean up, but make absolutely no mistake. Yeah. With one side of my family, it's just plastic knives and forks and paper plates, and I like that. Yeah.

But you're just going to have to just understand that we're not using the good China. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you've got to understand two things. If you eat Thanksgiving at Chrissy's house, you're going to be eating off paper plates. And you won't have turkey. You're going to have a little thing called per me. You're going to have a little thing pouring. and Lynn will be there, but she'll be about two Xanax as deep.

Yeah, yeah, Lynn, well, actually, no, what's very interesting is Lynn has opted not to come. She's not coming. She's not coming. She's going to go to my aunt's house, which is fine. Janet? No, the other one, another one, because she, I think it's, beep this all. I think it's one of those things where she's not coming because she's saying, she's saying, you know what, I just don't want to go this year. I'm going to spend it my side of the family, but it's really because I think my dad's there. Right. Yeah. That's going to cause a little conflict in the kids. braid it's what it is parents at war at war i had that same problem as well yeah so now so thanksgiving

archie i hope you guys are you know hopefully listening to this enjoying your thanksgiving meal i know football is on you know can have a little turkey can have a little sides um i've or i i got a bunch of pies i went to the market near my house and i got a bunch of pies i got a cherry pie a pumpkin pie and a sweet potato pie wow yeah and i'm going to eat all of it wow you you really do thanks giving like a Midwestern white woman with neck fat. It's what it is. You go to the outdoor farmer's market. You just pick out all the homegrown pies.

An apple pie we got. And also what I've done is I made little treats for the kids and I saved a couple of extra. For me, you made them. I made them. Put out an apron and you cook. Yeah. What I did, ready for this? Yeah.

Ready for this? Yeah. What I did was is Thanksgiving festive, I baked homemade, this is true. I homemade baked peanut butter chocolate chip. cookies, and I put pumpkin ice cream in between them, and I made little pumpkin chocolate chip ice cream sandwiches for the kids. And there are seven kids at the house, and I made 14 because I want to have a couple. You want to have a few. Yeah, and I just said, oh, maybe. You know how to bake? Well, it's pretty easy. Martha Stewart Chrissy. Yeah. It's what you do, it's pretty easy to make

the peanut butter chocolate chip cookies because they, you know, already come pre-made. You just put them in the oven. Yeah. And then I put, I wait for them to harden when they come out, and then I put the ice cream on them, and I froze them, and they're just really yummy, yummy, yummy in your tummy. Those are delicious. I'm just surprised that you're sitting there baking. Do you put music on when you bake? Oh, yeah. Do you put on uh, you know, I don't know, uh, comfortable shoes? I put on, I put on music. I drink a little wine.

Yeah. I light a candle. Yep, I have an apron on. Are you a, yeah. Because you're baking like a lady. Like a lady. And that's, I always do, anytime I'm doing anything in the kitchen, like doing the dishes and like that, I always put on a little tunes or sometimes I put on a little podcast. And I listen along, but I always have music or a podcast going, and it

actually pisses Jasmine off, because she's like, why can't you do anything in silence? I'm like, because I just need a little tunes. Yeah. A Puerto Rican asking a white guy, why can't you do anything in silence? It's a little wild. Ain't that the pot call him the cattle Puerto Rican? Yeah, it's what it is. Yeah.

Because if there's two things that don't go together, it's silence in the Puerto Rican community. Yeah, it's what it is. It's what it is. It's like oil and war. Oil and water Now maybe just two for a little side dish Maybe we'll just eat the dog Yeah

How's the dog going? How's that going? Well I'll ask Does it speak Spanish? It speaks Spanish It's names Josephine And I already I gotta be honest with you

I'm in love with the dog The dog Three days ago I had to sit in the ER with the dog For about six hours Because we thought it had parvo Because it was diarrheaing everywhere And it was like so little

And so lethargic But I took it I sat in the ER With the dog The doggy ER Animal ER and it was great. Everything's fine and I got to be honest with you. I'm in love with the dog.

I really do love the dog. It's got these beautiful blue eyes. It's a little Siberian husband. It's a little Aryan and you like that. Yeah, I kind of like it. I've been teaching it to do that with its paw. Yeah, you like the blue eyes. You like the fair skin in the blue eyes.

Yes. And it barks at certain people and I, I, I, but it howls. Actually, Siberian Huskies howl. Yeah, so it's, it's very, very nice. I'm finding myself because, you know, What happened is what happens to so many families. The reason why I got the dog is because my kids were like, we want the dog, we want the dog. And I did, I denied, I resisted for years, for a year.

And then finally I caved. And we've had the dog for about five days. And within three days, my kids aren't interested in the dog. Right. That's how good. That's just what it is. But now I've become obsessed with the dog. And I actually, because it's just a puppy, so we can't take her out.

Yeah, she doesn't have all our shots. But I'm looking forward to like walking the neighborhood with her because I actually like being around her. I just like how, like I tried to take her in the dog. the bed last night, and Jasmine said, no, we're not doing that. We're going to make sure the dog's trained, so she's smart for that. But it's like, I actually feel a little guilt over how much attention I'm giving the dog and love to the dog that I've realized there's things that I used to do like my little daughter, like I was like, hold her up above my head and like get silly with her. And I did it yesterday, and I realized, oh, I haven't done this with her in like three days because

those times I'm just spending with the dog. Yeah, well, I think it's going to be very good for you. And when you say walk, what you mean is migrate. You're going to be going on migration. Mine migration, yes. You're going to be walking about four, six months ago. Well, it's one thing, as you know, my family, I know how to deal with the migrants. You know how to deal with the migrants, and you also know how to move. I do know how to move. I like to move.

Yeah. So if that thing wants to go on the go, the thing is that thing's always want to go to go out and be on the go. Yeah. And so you guys are two peas in a pot. It's what it is. And all I'll do is I'll throw in my headphones. I'll put on Cindy Lauper, Cindy Lauper on Spotify. Yeah.

And then I just fucking dance, baby. I just hop and I walk down that road. You take that little German wolf for a little stroll. A little. You're a stroll bolly. You're a stroll bolly. I'm a stroll bolly. You're Chrissy strolls.

You like a nice stroll. Because I've been affected with a little disease called Strollio. You got Strullio. Yeah, I like to. Because we're a couple of kids with Strolio. We're a couple of kids afflicted with Strollio. I love a stroll. Because I'm Strollio string cheese big.

Yeah, we're a couple of strollionis. Yeah, and it's what it is. We like to walk. I like the dog. I really like Thanksgiving. One of my favorite holidays, Halloween is number one, but Thanksgiving is number two. And the other thing that we have, my mom's not going to be there, but normally she does nice biscuits.

So we asked, what I did was my mom made biscuits the night before, and I went to the neighborhood and I got Ma's biscuits, and I got them, and I'm going to heat them up real nice. Are you going to pass them out to the neighbors? Yeah, I'm going to pass them out to the neighbors. We invited the neighbors over, and then the woman, the wife, my neighbor wife asked Jasmine, who was coming over? She said, yes, but she said, oh, who's coming over? And then Jasmine read some of the names on the list.

And she said, actually, we have plans. She said, the Guzman's, the Rodriguez, the Guzman's, the Rodriguez, and the Guzman's and the Rodriguez. Yeah. No, because my family, it's going to be great. So a lot of people be there. We're going to have Coquito, nice little Puerto Rican eggnog. And what's nice about Coquitos is it gets you banged up quick.

It's like a milkshake with vodka in. It gets you banged up quick. And then normally there's a fight. Yeah, this is a big, big fight. They got to get it out. Yeah, they got to get it out. And there's a big fight, and it's fun, and there's a lot of dancing in my family. The only thing I caution, because I've done this many times, and especially a lot of our fans, our male fans out there are lesbian fans.

Because I know a lot of people out there I've been seeing on the Patreon at patreon. At patreon.com slash history hyenas, I know a lot of you guys out there are into fatties. Like Nick likes a big fatty, like just a fat, you know, overweight woman. And I get that. I like that too. And turkeys, there's a lot, there's a high incidence because turkeys have that big fat ass. there's a high incident of people trying to have sex with the turkey. So I'm going to caution you don't be a human baster out there.

Don't try to baste turkey with your own jizz. If you get horned up by the turkey, go into the guest bathroom or wherever it is and relieve yourself. Don't ruin it for everyone else. I actually think this is one of the instances of you probably projecting onto the population. I've tried to have sex with a couple of Thanksgiving teas. Yeah, I don't think there's a big problem with people trying to fuck their turkeys. Because ask Nick if there's a big problem people are trying to have sex with their turkeys. They're cold wrestling fair.

Nick, you ever try to bang out your turkey? Oh, yeah. Now, if you look at the guest list for my Thanksgiving, Greek Thanksgiving or any Greek party in general, it's just the guestless is really just going to look like a medical exam. Right. It's really going to look like you're trying to get into medical school. Yeah.

There's just a lot of names that sound like viruses. Yeah. Papalopuses, the Papacus, the Costantacases. Yeah, you're going to look at that list and say, is that contagious? Yeah, you're going to go Contecostus. What part of the body is Contecostus? Yeah. It's just that's what my party is

And there's always lamb present We do do a little bit of the turkey But the turkey, it's a little dry for Greeks We like sweet meat, we like baby sheep Baby sheep, that's what it is And I know one thing and one thing only If there will be from one side of your family From your wife's family

There will be just a lot of praise for Donald Trump At Thanksgiving There will be a lot of praise There might be a member of your family Who might even bake some homemade American flag cookies With Donny T's face on it I don't know Whenever my family and my wife's family gets together, it's just funny to watch family try to figure out things to talk about that aren't politics.

Yeah, because the known thing that you can't talk about it. Yeah, because to one side of your wife's family, your family is they just got a couple of things against them, and that's being Democrat and being gay. My family, all them are very libed out. Lived out, and her family is very conservative. And the thing is, is if it'd be interesting to talk to your wife's side of the family because you may openly say, oh, I have two or three members of my family that are gay. And your wife's side of the family say, there's about 10 or 11 of them that are gay. There's about three times. They think there's about three times many gay people in your family than you do. And guess what? Because you're one of them. I can't believe that their daughter married gay. Yeah, that's what was spoken about at the wedding. Can you imagine when Brittany showed me to her father and she did it by going, he's a comedian and showed. heard the Morisa video. Yeah, I can't imagine. Yeah. The only thing that her father probably liked about is that you said the N-word. The funny thing is, all the nurses that worked for him, they all knew who I was. Sure. And they were like, oh, that's that lady. Yeah. Your daughter married a lady?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's nice. Yeah. It's just what it is. Yeah. There was probably like, it was probably a lot of, honey. Yeah. Are you sure? Yeah. Honey, are you sure? Are you sure? You sure this is a guy? Because I, baby, you know, I got your back, but are you sure? Cush, what are you thankful for this Thanksgiving? Because I got to be honest with you. First of all, I'm thankful for the tariff. Are you thankful for the program? Because I'm thankful.

Let's go our year and review. Let's go. Thankful for the program. Yeah. Okay. I'm thankful recently for my dog. Yeah. I'm thankful for this podcast.

Yeah. I'm thankful for meeting Nick. Yeah. I'm thankful for the program. Yeah. I'm thankful. I'm thankful for my family and my home. Yeah.

I'm thankful that everyone's got their health and happiness, and I'm thankful, I'm thankful for the Knicks. Yeah. The Knicks that could do good this year. Yeah. And I'm also thankful, I'm really thankful for, uh, uh, uh, I'm thankful for China. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, my name is Sean Terry and let me tell you a few things I'm thankful for.

Tell me. I'm thankful for McSawley's bar. Mm-hmm. I'm thankful very much for my good friend Mike behind the bar. Yeah. He's been behind the bar 20 years. I'm thankful for the New York Jets who keep trying, keep bringing misery but joy to my life. It's a marriage.

It's a commitment. You know, I'm never going to abandon them. But it is tough at times. I'm thankful for 47th Avenue. I'm thankful for bagels. I'm thankful for pizza I'm thankful for the MTA and all the hard work

those guys do down there I'm thankful for the guys in my ladder 14 I'm thankful for those guys I'm thankful for board game night I really love that I'm thankful for being an FDNY firefighter I'm thankful for Republicans I'm thankful that for sanity

I'm thankful for Jesus Christ Virgin Mary of course I'm thankful to my 15 kids my 1,400 cousins, and my 17,000 aunts and uncles. I'm also thankful for the IRA and what they did to stand up to the British. I'm thankful for my Celtic roots. I'm also thankful for construction boots. I'm also thankful for my one pair of Levi jeans.

I'm also thankful for sweatshirts. I'm very thankful for those, and I'm thankful for my car heart jacket. I'm very thankful for those, and I'm very thankful for my occasional Marlboro light when I've had four and five bud lights. I go outside I have a nice fucking marble of light It never seems to give me a problem

When people get addicted I don't have that problem Now beer Cold fucking beer Is the thing I'm most Thankful for Thank you Jesus Christ And I'm also thank you

To the Native Americans For giving us such a nice fucking country I'm sorry you had to go Yeah I'm thankful for the Native Americans For giving us the great part of Long Island

Called Massapequa And Ron Concoma I'm thankful for Manifest Destiny that's what I'm thankful for I'm thankful for Florida I'm thankful for Disney I'm thankful for cruises

I'm thankful for Norwegian cruisers That's what me and my wife And I'm thankful for Jewish agents Calling me in the middle of a fucking fucking Yeah I'm thankful for Israel They're doing the right thing I'm also thankful for real quick I just also want to say I'm thankful for President

James Garfield Because I started watching his show on Netflix And originally I started watching it Because I thought it was about lasagna but it's about President James Gawfield and he's a good guy and I want to tell you about him right after this

because you commented the other day when I was walking down the block you saw me you said wait a second, wait a second honey what the hell kind of jeans are those they're gorgeous and I said rag and bone. Now here's the situation

like I said if you watch my blowing the light special I'm wearing a rag and bone shirt I have three pairs of rag and bone sneakers they're one of the best clothing companies they're one of the best brands, quality clothes. We don't even really have to sell them. No, Ragged Bone's awesome. You know it's great quality. Yeah, it's awesome. It's one of the best, for sure.

Yeah. They've spent 20 years obsessed making jeans that get better over time. Now, Jesse knows where these owners live, and he told me he's going to rob their brownstone and bring in some product. That's right. Yeah. They are, they're really good. The clothes feel like broken in right away. They really do. They're stylish. Their jeans are built to last. They really are. I got a pair. What I like about mine is because, you know,

You know, I got a weird body. I got big fat ass and wide hips, but then it kind of goes in. And so the jeans, the way that they fit, they kind of fit my wide ass, but then they taper off at the bottom and they hug my ankle nice. Yeah, I'll be honest. I'm being completely honest. I wear rag and bone. And I can't mention other things in this ad, but I'll say it after the ad.

But ragamone is one of the only things I wear. Yeah. I'm not even making that up. This is the truth. I'm glad that they're advertising because rag and boat is like one of my three favorite things to wear. Now, if you want to upgrade your denim with Rag & Bone from November 23rd through December 1st, enjoy 25% off site wide with just a few exclusions, but mostly 25% off during the biggest sale of the year. Plus, our listeners can stack our exclusive promo code hyenas for even more savings at rag dashbone.com.

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and when they said, where you hear about me, I said myself. Yeah. Hex clad, these pots, I have them at the house. Yeah. Because these pans are legit,

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We cook with it. Hex clans, it's awesome. They got these six piece sets and 12 piece sets that are just, you may, because I got to be honest with you, I feel like a chef. I feel like Anthony Bourdain in the kitchen because I got these hexclad pots, pants. Yeah, they're really good. It's the perfect starter bundle for any kitchen. It includes three of their most popular pans with matching lids, giving you everything you need

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That's hexclad.com for up to 52% off. You heard that right. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that the hyenas sent you there. The thing about an Irish kid's home is you can go there and you can be pretty sure you're going to get a bland meal. Yes, that you will get really good beers

and probably a little pumpkin-flavored beers at the same matters, but you're not going to get a very tasty meal. Here's the thing. O'Neils is a big fans of ours. O'Neill's Ba in Masbeth, and what's interesting about them is they have an Irish bar, but they got good food. Yeah, what did they got? Shepid's pie? Yeah, maybe I'm going to go

to O'Neill's for Thanksgiving. Because spends a Thanksgiving at a bar unless they're a divorced dad. Yeah, nobody spends a Thanksgiving at a bar unless their names is James Debo. Nobody spends a Thanksgiving at a bar unless they're in my group chat. That's what we're talking about. That's what it is. Yeah.

Now, because the big guys dinner, we do a big guy, a big guy's dinner. Every, oh, yeah, go to that restaurant. Do you want to come this year? Because that. Can I ask the guys if you could come this year? That is like almost like a disappearing kind of. of culture in New York. What? Just like a bunch

of city workers sitting around slinging slurs over Turkey. Because we got 25 guys going to this dinner. How many of them are cops and firefighters? Twenty-four. I'm the only one who's not. And Debo, but he's a baggage hand. Debo, but he's a B.A. But he's an honorary. They say

he's an honorary firefighter. He's like the firehouse dog. You know, like they give him a helmet. They let him run around. I don't, yeah. I don't think it's right that you have to be a certain height and strength to be a firefighter. I don't think... Because a guy like Debo could come in handy

because what you could do is you could run at the fire and then fucking toss him into the second floor window. Exactly. So he can do rescues. And then he could do rescues and he's got buckets and fails and it's nice. Yeah. So what do they do?

They just show up at the fire and they give him like a little toy fire hat and they... Yeah, give him a bunch of water guns. Yeah. Yeah. And he runs around and he has a good time. And... But speaking to squeak...

There's nothing funnier than him telling ladies that he's a pilot. It's just what it is because, and if he doesn't make his grinder name the flaming squeak. I will. So, because speaking of squeaks, I want to talk to you a little bit about this Thanksgiving guy. You ever heard of a man named Miles Standish? No. Because Miles Standish, he was a guy who was probably at the initial Thanksgiving first ever dinner in the 1600s. But the kid was Squeak, 5'4, fire engine red hair. Okay, this kid definitely already 5'4 fire engine red hair, angry. So you know one thing and one thing. Only he's a

Metz fan. Those guys like that, Ruth Fudd, the New York Mets. And he was an angry, angry kid. Now, he was, I find him fascinating because Standish, he was a guy that even though he was invited to the first Thanksgiving, the kid used to like to go on into the fields when they were warring against the Native Americans and just cut off Native American guys' heads and put them on spikes outside his house. Everybody has things they like to do. But back in those states, when there's no video evidence of anything, he just came to the. Thanksgiving dinner and said, I love you guys. Yeah. Love it. There was no

like bad vibes following you around because nobody saw it. No, now he was saying, because he was an Englishman, he was saying that these Native Americans are always trying to attack the settlers. They're trying to attack the English others. So he said, I got to defend, I got to defend this fort. Short guys like to

defend. Right. They'll always defend you. To his credit, anytime there's been a big bar brawl with Debo, he always defends. Right. He always defends. Now he gets kicked out of the way quick. Somebody field goal kicks him, but he always defends. And I appreciate that about him a lot. That's why he's a great friend.

He'll always defend you. Little guys are always aggressive, like chihuahuas, which are basically the Joe Pesci of dogs. Yes. And so this guy was like the Joe Pesci of the British. He was a little squeak guy, angry would kill you. And so what he did, there was something that he did where he basically launched this attack. Well, yeah, the Wesso Gusset killings, West of Gusset, which also sounds like a town in Suffolk County. Could be very easy.

Wes Augusta killings, it was an atrocity. Basically, Standish learned that several Massachusetts warriors, Native Americans, were going to attack English settlers, okay? So he traveled there with only a few guys. So think about it. It's got a little short squeak of a guy, and he's just got a few guys with him, and he lured the Native American leaders into a small building, and then he personally stabbed the warrior peck suit to death with the guy's own knife,

which is real disrespectful Native American. You don't kill a guy with his own knife. No, that's what you call sneaky. cheating that was that's not good no that is a sneaky no no whack them he whacked him yeah yeah and now he you know it was an atrocity because he destroyed the basically they had a nice little truce going the settlers with the uh native americans and he just you know killed it all and he killed the truce and the colonists were really alarmed by how brutal the kid was and he would take men severed heads as proof and you know put it he the kid which you know like you know like

you like to put out, you know, a little Christmas wreath, you have up, you know, a little maybe Thanksgiving turkey outside the house, you do something nice. He would have severed Native American heads. That's just like decoration. That was his ornaments. Right. That was on the Christmas street. Right, right. For the holidays, that's how he decorated his lawn. That's what it is. Right. Yeah. So, you know, he was just scary, deeply disturbed. Now, you know. Like, like, Vlad the Impaler. Exactly. But he was Vlad the Impaler, but a squeak once. He was like a trophy of Vlad the Imperial. Right.

It's a little baby one. Right. And so, you know, when you're, you know, thinking about Thanksgiving this year, I mean, I know it's fun. I know we're watching the Macy's, you know, holiday parade. I know we're eating and we're drinking. But you got understand the way this thing got started, because was kind of a deep, dark history. It wasn't, this wasn't just settlers sitting around nice, all nice with fucking Native Americans. Also, do you know about, what's his name?

What was the Native Americans name? Squanto? You know about Squanto? Tonto? I know about Tonto. Tonto and the Lone Ranger. The kids, hold on, let me, let me, uh, squanto. While you look up squanto, I just want, you know, we don't tell you much accurate data here, but you know what is very interesting is that a lot of people don't know that, and this is typical about how things become, you know, legend.

Okay. One guy hears something and they blow it up. You know, one guy can ruin something, right? Sure. You notice how we all have to take our shoes off. Like Zoran Mamdani. Yeah. Like we all have to take our shoes off at the airport because one guy tried to...

The shoe bomber. Yeah, tried to put something in his shoes. Now everybody's going to take the shoes off. So the squeaky wheel, and a lot of times that squeaky wheels are squeak. But they always get to grease. They always get exaggerated. Things get exaggerated. You know, when we talk about Native Americans and the white colonialists who came,

you know, the Protestants that came, you always hear about smallpox blanket. Sure. Now, the smallpox blanket is largely a myth. Did you know that? Yeah, it's largely a myth. So you're saying it's a largely

like it doesn't work? No, it comes from... Because if it doesn't work, then I spend a lot of money for nothing. It's estimated that the smallpox smallpox was already spreading and decimating

the Indian population. It's estimated by historians like 90% of the Native American population was killed by smallpox that just spread naturally after they came in contact with filthy whites. Right. That's a good, that's a by the way, a good nickname for just a squeak who looks a little dirty. Just calling the kids smallpox. Unfortunately, the reason was is because the Native Americans were listening to the Joe Roggan podcast and they were anti-Vox.

Joe Roggis. Yeah, you just sundown. I said Joe Rogan. Yeah. They were listening to Joe Rogan podcast, so they were just anti-Vax. So they just had a higher per capita incidence of death. So it comes from one primary source, which is. was a 1763, year 1763 letter from British officer Lloyd Jeffrey Amherst,

approving a plan suggested by Colonel Henry Boquette to try giving smallpox infected blankets to Native Americans during Pontiac's war. There's also one journal entry from Fort Pitt where officers recorded that they gave a Delaware delegation two blankets and a handkerchief from the small pocket. hospital to inoculate the Indians so that's the only those is so in other words it really you don't think it happened the way they said it happened because like it was already spreading and like you know it's like one guy had a plan to do it like you know how one guy can you know it's like it's like people say Saudi Arabia did 9-11 right right

it's like the thing but Saudi Arabia is an ally the United States right they would never want to they would get nothing out of it right but al-Qaeda hated right the Saudi Arabian royalty. They hate the House Assad. So they wanted to do it. So attacking us is also attacking the House Assad. But because a lot of the hijackers were Saudi Arabian citizens, and there was some evidence of maybe some rogue

intelligence funding from, then they just go Saudi Arabia did it. Because it's just, we're always looking for the simplest way to explain things. And then we just go, this is what happened. Yeah, because it's much more complicated. Much more complicated. But if in fact

smallpox, was put on blankets and then effectively started to try to systematically wipe out the Native Americans and that is the way that we tie the Chinese to Thanksgiving. That's how you tie it, right? You can blame it on them. That's how you can say. That's how you do it. Also, in recent history, kind of done something similar.

Yeah. They did a little smallpox blanket 19. Yeah. But it just shows you a lot about humans and how they think, right? So, you know, like if you're a libertarian, you just always go, it's the government's fault. Sure. The government's fault. The government did it because if you're a communist, you just go, oh, it's the capitalist's fault.

People just like easy explanations whether they're true or not. Least path to resistance. Yeah, because here is even a better way to think about it. Smallpox could not even survive for that long on a blanket to infect someone. Can't do it. You can't, you know, it's like, it's surprisingly fragile outside of the human body, and it does not survive well on porous materials like cough. It needs moisture, organic material to remain viable.

On dry surfaces like blankets of cloth, it loses infectivity quickly, usually within hours. So, I mean, it's not even a good plan. Yeah. So it was just some guy who hated Native Americans wrote in his journal. Like, let's just try to kill him. This goes to show you how many times throughout history where it's literally one guy that can just change the whole course of everything. I mean, you know, imagine a world where, like, Hitler was never born, like World War II doesn't have. up in the way it is it's like you think it's like all these billions of people but most people are

just good they're trying to do but it's a couple of bad apples like for example be honest most people aren't good right you want to know what most people are you want the honest answer tell me i want honest yonis hour most let's be honest most people are stupid yeah they're fucking stupid but stupid is safe stupid is safe but most people are very impressionable i think sure i think they're good in the sense that they themselves are not bad. Right. But I think they can be easily led astray by somebody who's bad. I think that's really what the wheels of history are.

Right. Is one fucking charismatic guy who's just like narcissistic but he knows how to play to people's biases and he just cooks up, he cooks shit up. Yeah. It's just what it is. Well, yeah, I think it was, I think it was Voltaire that said history doesn't repeat itself. People repeat themselves.

So it's just people. it's not history, you blame it on history, but it's just people doing those same things like they don't learn because I, I just learned that in the 1500s, there was a plague epidemic of syphilis, right? And people were getting it from, they were going to, and you're speaking from experience. Right, right. Yes, I was alive. Guy knows what he's talking about. He's, he's wrestled with it. It's what it is. Not syphilis, but close. What did you get? Chlamydia. Right. So a relative. So syphilis was rampant. It was a pandemic in like 1500s or maybe even a little bit early or early 1500s. But anyway, they did have the knowledge to say, okay, we know that people get sick when they come out of a bathhouse.

Bathhouses are, you know, seems like there's something in the bathhouse. They weren't able to kind of put together that the reason why it's coming out. Because gay guys were fucking in the, in the steam room. It was a sex fest. The bathhouse was an absolute sex fest. But they said what's probably happening is in that bathhouse, your pores are opening. So therefore, disease is getting in. They didn't say it was the sex. They said it was disease getting into your pores. So for about 250 years in certain parts of Europe, nobody took a bath because they believe

that bathing would open up your pores and it's going to make you sick. So you have to understand for 250 years. Think about how long that is, okay? Nobody took a bath because I thought it was bad for you. That's what, and it was, I forgot the doctor's name, but it was one doctor's opinion that took off, and then all of a sudden nobody's taking bath. Yeah. They used to also think for a long time that a woman who gave an opinion was which. Right.

Which, I'm not saying that was a good thing or a bad thing, but it was definitely more of a peaceful time. Yes, it's what it is. A peaceful time for your state of mind. It's what it is. That's why in my backyard, I have a long wooden plank, and I got some rocks and some light of fluid and any time jazz goes a little bit more than usual, I say get on the steak. Yeah, I think set

one on fire. Yeah. It's sort of like a little purge to send a message. Maybe they'll cool down a little bit. What it is? Just set one on fire. Just the same way Vladdei Impelor would leave one skull on a spike out. Yeah, just leave one out there. Just leave one witch out there. Now, when we come back, I want to talk to you about a little

figure who probably started at all, who probably started Thanksgiving. His name is Squamtoe and from the picture, he looks like Jasmine. Because we talk about this product on a monthly basis. If you are looking to get something for a loved one or a friend or a family member before Christmas, Uncommon Goods is the spot day. They have things you've never seen before. That's why it's called Uncommon Goods.

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From the history hyenas And I'm going to get 47% off but I want to get 47 inches of that big black Friday sale up in me. I want you to go get yourself a hard ridge wallet and stick it right in your pocket. Yeah. All right. Tell us all about Squeaky Squanto. Because Squanto, first of all, he's from the Portucat tribe, which I think is a city in

fucking Rhode Island. Yeah, could be. Yeah. Portuxa tribe, who is famous. He helped the pilgrims in the 1620 survive. He spoke fluent English. So this is, you have to understand this kid who is like a very, very smart kid. He was one of the only persons alive on Earth in 1620 who spoke English, understood native diplomacy, and understood European intention.

So the kid was actually mad smart. Probably, people don't even know where the hell he came from, how the hell he even learned English. But the kid was just, he was just like an alien. He knew. So he was kidnapped. Well, he probably learned it from English people. Well, yeah, he was kidnapped by the Europeans as a teenager. But they still, the way that he understood it was crazy.

He was smarter than most. And he told them, he basically told Squanto to come aboard his, this guy, Thomas Hunt, tricked Squanto. He said, come aboard my ship, I want to trade. And then they just kidnapped the kid. They just kidnapped the kid. And they imprisoned him in the ship's hold. And Squanto was literally, he was traffic to Europe.

I don't know about sex traffic, but the kid was trafficked. He might have been sexed up. I don't know. So he goes to Spain. Then he escaped slavery. He was fully enslaved. escapes, lived in Europe, learned English, learned Spanish. Monks helped him escape. Monks are good people. And when he returned to America, he found that his entire tribe got killed. Not by smallpox

blankets, though. They killed him. The settlers killed his tribes. That's not good. So his whole tribe was gone. The whole potoxic tribe was gone. Some people believe it was European disease. But as the honest just said, the smallpox thing was invented. The bodies have been buried home. collapse so this made him just a guy with no family it was like Tom Hanks in that terminal movie right where he's just doesn't have a country he doesn't have a family he's just in JFK walking around that movie really predicted like Edward Snowden's situation it really did yeah or uh the other guy the WikiLeaks guy oh uh He's trapped in...

Julian Assange. Juliannege. Julian Palo. Yeah, Julian. Yeah, Menage. So the Pilgrims then come in 1620. So Squanto's just walking around. Okay, the kid doesn't have a family.

He doesn't have a home. But the kid does speak English. He speaks Spanish. He's kind of cute. And he doesn't have smallpox. So they're looking at him like, okay, this guy will do good. Now, Plymouth, where the Plymouth colony that is very famous that we all know,

that was built directly where the Portuxet Village was that got wiped out. They built Plymouth there because Squanto was like, this is good land. So they built it in the way. Squanto helped the settlers build it in the way that he knew how to build. So Squanto's a big asset. And he basically saved the Pilgrim's lives. He showed them how to plant the corn, how to fertilize with the fish.

They would eat eels for protein. I guess there's a lot of protein in eels. Well, yeah, you could get a sushi with eel. Oh, yeah. I love eel with the sushi. Yeah. He's told him which plants were edible, which was poisonous, how to store food, how to survive New England, winters.

Because New England winters kid. they're not easy to get through kid a lot of snow it's a lot of ice kid it's a lot of fucking snow kid a lot of fucking snow and you don't have ben afflac and these guys in the town to tell you what to do kid no it's fucking really bad yeah you don't have fucked up i'll tell you it's fuck you didn't have fucking ben aflac over there to say guys if you really want to escape the winter just get in the mosque no people are good people yeah you don't have your fucking mother telling you to come inside your fucking quark sucker so he was the translator the negotiator between the pilgrims and the Native Americans. And so Squanto is the one without Squanto. You see how we have one man who can

make an impact negatively, but then you have one man who can make an impact positively. And without Squanto, there is no Thanksgiving because this first Thanksgiving meal was negotiated and only done because Squanto was in the middle of it. He was the interpreter. It's like Shohei Otani. I don't know what that guy's saying unless the interpreter is gambling all his money. Now, from Nick's perspective, Squanto is just the ultimate Benedict Arnold. Yes. I mean, this guy's. just a traitor. 100%. He's just really, you know.

Yeah. Nick was like, why don't you kill the Europeans? Yeah, like, what are you doing, helping them? Tell them which plants are good to eat, but it's really the poisonous. Yeah, why didn't you do? You had one mission and Washington

mission only, and that was to get the information on ivermectin to stop the smallpox. Yeah. Now, he's to get the Ivermectin. Now, here's the part that might make Nick Opeyoing is squanto was actually kind of a double agent and he played both sides. So squanto used his position.

he gained power. So he told tribes that the pilgrims controlled the plague. He told the tribes that the pilgrims did this to you, right? Then he told pilgrims other tribes were threatening them. So he told one side of the tribe, one side, the pilgrims that they were getting all this disease from the pilgrims. And then he told the pilgrims, there's other tribes that want to kill you. Then he acted as the interpreter between both of them and he tried to build his own following. He basically tried to say, listen, they don't like you.

They don't like you. The only one you should like is me, Squanto. And then this guy, Massasoit, eventually did not trust him. Some big time Native American leader figured out, said this guy's a little bit of a double agent. This squeak, you can't trust his fucking squeak. And he saw him as manipulating diplomacy for personal influence, which is exactly what he was doing. The kid sounds like a politician. Yeah, the kid was good at it.

He was like me. When I'm around my liberal friends, I pretend like I'm liberal. When I'm around my conservative friends, I'm very conservative. That's what it is. I play both sides. Welcome to my life. I'm squanto. Squantinopolis.

Yeah, that's what it is. So he demanded, this guy, Massoid, demanded Squanto be turned over for execution. But the Pilgrims said, no, we like this guy. And then tension rose sharply. And that could have started a war. But instead, Squanto was so brilliant that he basically said, instead of killing everybody, why don't we just sit down and break some bread and have some turkey and some biscuits and some macaroni and cheese?

Why don't we have a couple of tacos and margaritas, ladies? Yeah, that's what he said. Fucking ya. Now, here's where it. So Thanksgiving, he negotiates a very successful Thanksgiving, 1621, I believe, is the Thanksgiving ever. That was before we were born. Yeah. Yeah. So Squanto was the one who gathered and harvested the celebration. The ornament was 1621. But then the kid died in 1622. He suddenly became sick and died. Maybe smallpox, we don't know. So is this the reason why we

celebrate Thanksgiving because of a guy named Squanto? That's what I'm saying. Because of a double agent fucking rat think. Squanto is, squanto is the reason. Squanto is the reason we have Thanksgiving without Squanto. There is no Thanksgiving. Wow. Yeah. Do you think they had Margaret At the first Thanksgiving? I mean, it's a Mexican thing, cuss. Just a little tequila. Yeah. A little passion fruit.

A little bit. Yeah. You don't think there was a little margarita for the... What do you mean? It was a Mexican thing. What are you talking about? Margaritas are Mexican. Oh, you're saying Native Americans are Mexican.

Yeah. They're all... I mean, that's why they look that way. Right. They're Indians. They are. Right. Natives.

You know, so... I mean, Nick is probably by his look, his phenotype. He's probably got a lot of what they call mestizo. Right. Which is native. jeans would probably a little what they call white rape in there. Right. So it's a little, you know, that's like

the bacon you put in the Bloody Mary. Right. It's what it is. But he's mostly a Bloody Mary. It's what it is. You're a Bloody Mary. Yeah. Okay. So yeah, I mean, when you look in like a lot of South Americans, they look very like indie, because they are. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. So they made

margaritas, because. The thing is, and tacos. They're all pieces. That's the thing. It's just pieces. I like, I really like exotic. Well, some of them are pieces. I'm thankful for the program. Yeah. But to you, I think a lot of, even when you see, like, a short Mexican woman in the train station selling mango slices, you get horned up.

I just get horned up. Yeah. Yeah, I just get fucking horned up. I want to jump in the backpack usually, but I can't because they're kids in it. Because your harem would look like a community college brochure. It's what it is. Yeah. Jesse's harem would look like just the country of Haiti.

Yeah. And my harem would just look like Scandinavia. Scandinavia. And Nick's harem would look like summer. him. It's what is Nick wants to bang out male wrestlers big. Because his ultimate goal is just because Shultzzi was part of WWE. That's right.

He wants to go from here to Flavor just so he can sniff Shultz's seat. He wants to do it. Because he was at WrestleMania. Yeah, it's what it is. Because I haven't watched wrestling since I was 12 years old. I don't know what's going on. I got it. And I know it's a huge audience and it's a great audience and it's a great product.

But I just don't, I just don't watch it. And I'm sure it's amazing. It's fun. It's funny. It's fun. It's really fun. It is fun. Like, I get it totally. I understand why people like it. I just, yeah, I got into real sports, but I do appreciate whenever it's on. It tickles me. It's very funny. Yeah. Jesse was a big comic book by a big wrestling guy too. He was a fucking finger sniffered. Make no mistake. You don't end up sculpting fat people unless you're a finger sniffer. That's incorrect. That's incorrect. Maybe when I was like eight. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, I haven't watched it. I used to. I used to. I remember I used to go down the neutrals and watch it in my aunt's house because she was only one that had cable and we were watched Monday Night Raw. And I used to love that eating Saltine Crackers in Arizona. So you could watch it on Univision.

I believe, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. One of Monday, six on the web, I hear car, hog, hog, hog, hogger, hot, ha, ha, ha, y, y, y, y, y, yeah, dusty, Slady coming, bay, bay, bay, bay, be, pink, pink, pink, pink, big, big, big, big, Ro warriors, row warriors. Is that accurate? Junk that dog Nekro, Nekro,

Nekro, Nekro Drunk Yarnbar Burya Puyaka Raskas Sielos dos Muchachos Yes Viz McMahon

Bum boom Bum Zing Kaka Kaka That's how you want Dick Does that sound

familiar? Yeah That's what it is Yeah I mean What's what it is Cuzz Do we got

Patreon names today? You can do The live show No Oh that's right Yeah Yeah

So what we want to say to you guys is we're very thankful for you. I, Janice Pappas, I'm very thankful for this podcast. I'm thankful for my family. I'm thankful for my friends. I'm thankful for peace.

I'm thankful for box breathing. I'm thankful for laughter and positivity. Yeah. I'm thankful for spirituality. I'm thankful for Ethan Hawke. Ethan Hawke. I'm big, big, big thankful for Ethan Hawke. I'm thankful for the Before Sunrise Trilogy.

I'm thankful for Training Day, which I can watch whenever it's on. Yep. I'm thankful for Instagram. fucking horse I like looking at those I am I am thankful for female athletes

I love their bodies yeah I'm thankful for Jeannie Bouchard I'm thankful for Jeannie Bouchard I'm thankful for my wife most importantly I'm thankful for my dogs I'm thankful for Your children

My children Yes that's the big one Importantly my children I'm thankful for sneakers Yeah I'm thankful for our I'm thankful for Sergio Chaconne. I'm thankful for Sergio Gicone.

I'm thankful for discovering my passion for boxing. Yeah. I'm thankful for my decent blood pressure. Yeah. I'm thankful for being 215 now. You're not 220 anymore? In between. It's what it is.

I'm thankful for pizza. Yeah. I'm thankful for being born in fucking New York City. Yeah, I really am thankful being born in the original 13 colonies. I'm very thankful for that, that I don't live in fucking Montana. I don't know what those people do out there. even though you have to go there I have to go there

and if you've listened to this I've been there I'm thankful for How was it It was great Yeah you got eaten by a grizzly bear It was nine degrees And I couldn't go outside

So I just hung out That's probably what it's gonna be But it's a beautiful nature I'm really thankful really For being bored up in New York I really am happy That I'm a New Yorker I'm thankful for

Everyone who does comedy I'm thankful for everyone who does content and keeps people busy. I'm thankful for employers. I'm thankful for AOC. Yes. I'm thankful for all the billionaires. Yes. I'm thankful for the S&P 500. I'm thinking for the S&P 500. I'm thankful for Vanguard. I'm thankful for Vanguard. I'm thankful for low expense ratio. I'm thankful that you kept that sign through our hiatus because I love that sign. Yes. There were times where I was going to break it and I did it. There was times that we tried to auction that off. Yeah, and we just couldn't get any buyers.

And to be honest with you, I had to keep that sign with me because I have multiple members of my family who are blind, and that thing is brale. I'm thankful for Nick. I'm thankful for Nick. I'm thankful for Jesse. Thankful for my long friendship with Jesse. I'm thankful for the baby Socrates sculpture that he did.

Yep. I'm thankful for every single one of our fans. I'm so thankful for our fans. So thankful, most importantly, to our subscribers. Yes. To our matriarchy, to our community. I am most thankful for them, to be honestly. The rest of you are really free-loading fucking toots.

Yes. Okay? You're free-loading fucking toots. The people I'm not thankful for are the free members who just join and just sit there and look at all the locked content. I'm thankful for every YouTube video, every YouTube viewer, but I'm not thankful for the free toots. I'm not, we're not thinking for the free fucking toots, okay? You guys are like prostitutes that are closed. Yes.

I don't understand. I want to have sex with you. I do want to have sex. You're on the Patreon because I want you to open up your asshole and send it to me. Yeah, I'm thankful for the seasons. Me too. I'm thankful for four seasons. That's why I'm thankful to live in New York City.

Yeah, and I know you're thankful for sweets. I'm thankful for black and white cookies, for pumpkin muffins, toast with butter, for pistachio, croissons, for the little non-parrelli cookies. I'm thankful for immigrants. Yeah. How can we forget immigrants? Well, without immigrants, there are no sweets. So I'm thankful for immigrants because I know that they're the ones mostly making them, and I just want to say thank you so much for making all the food that I really.

like. I'm thankful for lemon potatoes. I'm thankful. I'm thankful because my family were immigrants. I'm thankful for all immigrants. I'm thankful for immigrant food. Yes. I'm thankful for Winston Churchill. Yes. For holding the line. Even though I know he started World War II. Success is

not final. Failure is not fatal. It's the courage to continue that counts. Yeah, I'm thankful to my Greek ancestors for fighting off Chrissy's ancestors. Yes. Very thankful for that. But eventually my ancestors did win because we're just German snow monkeys. You do our snow monkeys.

Oh, you won for a little while, but then you ultimately lost, and you had to apologize big to the Jews. It's what it is because I have something in common with Adolf Hitler is also because he had the war won, and then he just tried to move to Russia, and that's what I do at my house is. I just keep moving. And you got to give credit to the Jews. They were able to work out a payment of reparations from Germany.

If there's one thing the Jews will do, whether they're dead or alive, is cut a deal. It's what it is. The Jews that were dead, what, you know what, we're dead, but let's talk, business. Yes, what it is. And they were able to get reparations. Now, Jesse, anything you're thankful for? No, I ain't thankful for shit, and I'm spending Thanksgiving at scores. No, I like it, guys.

Nick? Anything, anything you're thankful for, Nick? I'm thankful for you guys. I'm thankful for Tracy. I'm thinking for WWE. Yeah. Thank you for John Cena's last year as champion. I'm really going to miss him. I'm thinking for all the Latinos on Roosevelt Avenue, the ones I cut hair for $10 and give hand jobs for $40 and sell tacos for $3. Yes. I'm thankful for my Zora Mondami towel that stays up to cover my boobs. Yes.

And that's it. And snap benefits. And snap benefits. Yeah. That I'm definitely not on. Yeah. Yes. Nick is thankful for a low cost of living.

Yeah. And I like that. Yeah. There is ways in New York to still live on a low budget. Yeah. There's dollar slices. There's ways to do it. Yeah.

There's snap benefits to lie about. It's what it is. Yeah. There's ways to it just finds a way. If you find the way he's a little survivor. A little survivor. And we're also, as we said, mostly thankful for you guys for listening to the show, for supporting the show. I hope you laughed.

I hope you enjoy your turkey dinner tonight. And please, as I said, if you are one of our fans who really likes the overweight girls, please do not have sex with your turkey. Don't do it. We're having fun at patreon.com slash history aidas. Yes, we're going kind of crazy over there. And if you don't know, a lot of what we like to do, especially with the live shows, we, really, really, really like to read out the Patreon names, the newest members of the

matriarchy. We have so much fun, and then we like when the crowds kind of give us feedback on who they think should be the winner. So we're going to read out our newest Patreon names right now. I got them right here. Yeah. I got them right here. Do I have a pen? Yeah, okay, so

here we go. So you guys are going to help us decide? No, you can't... Where are you going, sir? He's like, yeah, don't fucking worry about it. Okay, so some names, sometimes people just want to have a regular name and they don't want to, you know, we call it straight to the back. They just don't want to be identified. It's like they're going straight to the back of a porn video store and they just don't want to know and they don't want work to find out. Joseph is not going to make a funny name because he's a lawyer, right?

It's just not going to happen. So that's what happens. So sometimes people just write regular names. So welcome to the matriarchy. Anthony Miglio, Maglio, I don't know if you're here, Jeff Riffie, Anthony Hacker. Then we have Leroy Frisbee in three-fifths to Juma. Okay, decent, not going to make the list, though. Ethan Salvio, Keaton Smith, Cody Cleisner.

Then we have Chrissy looks like Freddie Freeman's retarded brother. On the list. But on the list, they like it. It's on the list. He's a Dodger. He's a player on the Los Angeles Dodgers. And people have told me that, that I do look like Freddie Freeman's retarded brother before. And I can't say it's not painful.

then we got i listened to the pearl harbor episode on plane rides oh he said a slur here and i'm sorry about that yeah i walked in one that i can't say that in public not in front of my korean gay friend we want to apologize to the east asian community sorry about that daniel harris then we got mom donnie's rap name was edie na mean okay borderline genre oh no jean leon leon parkin B. Then we got Hey, babe, take your frisbee off, babe. I can't get hard unless you take your frisbee off, baby. On the list?

That's one for Corey and Joseph. Yeah. This fucking community guy's leaving. We, yeah, you're like, I got to get the mass. Now we have tucked it back. I'm for the table. Okay, a kid said he's tucked back, so now he's for the table.

Great, which means he'll get cracked open. Greg Cravens. Then we got stuck 15 milk duds up her ass and sucked until I got 25 back. You got to get at the catapult for that one. Yeah, that is the catapult. That is what they call a contender. Contender. Contender.

Contender. And then hours later, Joseph had a medical malpractice case. But I love that this person is doing commerce through their ass with milk dugs. Yes. Manuel Alvalalo. Then we got Bailey Jays' right-hand man. Bailey J. our trans friend. Then we got the name Shlomo Hayward

and unassuming Chicago-born K-word. Walked into one. We apologize. That's not okay. Corey and Joseph don't like that. And I don't like that. We do not condone that. That is wrong. Krister, stop clapping at that. Crapping at that.

Brandon Hall, Proku. Then we got Young Stroker, the Body Snatcher. Nico Stravopoulis. Wow, that is a diner monkey award. Nick. Then we got I Cracked 1942 and frankly the fumes.

Don't know what that means. Walked into one, but not okay. It doesn't sound good. Stanley Tucci's Harry Pucci. On the list? I think the crowd. Yes? List? Yeah. Yeah, put it on. Call me the new pasta beef bernets.

became an oil monkey toward our frisbee world domination hashtag alu akbar christer not okay i said okay cody hicks my wife is puerto rican and i'm gay as fuck that's from this guy right here okay bin ken underwise underscore y t kevin anderson then we got i live in smithtown so you know my car is in immaculate condition aka no dings Okay Got to listen to the show To know what we're talking about A million dollar idea

Sell dust busters The one Get a one Not okay, Jesus Fucking Christ You do not condone that Sorry about that Woo

Horrible horrible thing That's a horrible thing Not a kind of Actually decent business idea At that time The thing is There's probably a Jewish guy listening to this going, oh,

maybe we can make some money off that. Yeah. Adam Russell, Devin Horan, Cody Baker. Then we got Jay Harvin 15th, Sal Volcano. Thank God that. It was over. Walked into one. That's just a fan having fun. Just a good guy. Just a fan

having fun. We're just having fun. Sean de Plaza. Then we got I said glass. I said glass of juice. Okay. Dalgriff. Then we got Mom Donnie on NBC TV. I can't

some of these guys just fucking, it peters out. I don't know what they're, I don't know what they're even saying. Samantha Ray, Samantha Gonzalez, Sharon Corrin, Josh Guevera, Mom Doni's Baja Bozzi boy? What does that mean? What's a Baja Bozzi boy? I don't know. I don't know. Let's ask our

resident of music. Okay. Say I'm Italian, but I'm actually a Leroy, Tequia. You should get ready? Bring back the 90s, Donnie T. Now we have, I slow push farts to itch my hemorrhoids in public. It's interesting. To me, I mean, it's very interesting.

That's a contender to me, no? All right. Yeah. I mean, come on. His hemorrhoid is itching. He controls his fart in order to tick it with the wind. I thought that deserved a bigger reaction. Kyle Benson, Joel and Yamel.

Dang. Now, what? Oh, sorry. Now fumeless, now fumeless toots. Thank you, washcloth condoms. Wonka put his Willie in Charlie's chocolate factory. There you go. Is that true?

I think it's more of a Drexler. Drexler. Straight kid, but my wife begs to differ. Chicken finger. Chicken finger. Okay. I'm going on the reaction of the. Gondra, Zachary Chadwick, Luke Cook, Nikki,

Andrew Russell can only fit three fingers in my ass, so I am not gay. That doesn't necessarily mean that, though, right? Right? That's what he's saying. Depends. It depends if you got a tight little asshole or not. Connor?

I never thought about that as a litmus test, but possibly that could be the way you find out. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. Seven inches soft. he's got a very nice peace yes they're like bring him to

O'Neil's Kat Carlton Anthony Michael Henry Steele uh Massad's Arctic Task Force A.K. Greenland's Frisbee Team 6

what that means it's great ping makes my ding dong grow longer than Kim John Unz backed up colon What is it again?

Ping makes my ding dong grow longer than Kim John Un's backed up colon. Oh, because I said that Kim John Un tells his people he's never taken a shit in his life. Right. That's the true thing that he tells his people. That's what my wife

wants me to believe. That's what all women want us to believe. And what you do is you shit fast. You pretend like you're going to take a piss and then you push it out and then you flush, flash, flash, flash, flash. They asked me to be Donkey Kong for Halloween. I said, okay,

but listen, I'm going to do blackface and be generally racist all day. we don't condone it it's not okay that is not okay that is that is a security um Luke Shelton Gabriel Samuelson James Clegg my girlfriend's a frisbee when I come in her pussy I call it an inside job boys the Jewish our Jewish brothers think it's okay is that I mean that deserves that's our jewish brother say it's okay it's okay put it on the list that is that is one the knesset approves in that one joe stew stewart and here we got a sauce monkey award christina mafugee how you doing christina then we got cindy lopped off my balls

because girls just want to have fun put it up i don't i'm going put that on the list Put it on the list. That is a chicken figure that belongs on the list. Leo Marquez, Aiden Meen, Gabriel Florizeno, P-Troop 82, laser beam fractured but whole. Ricky in the woods. Matthew Soper. Okay.

Reach around for Mamdani. Krister. Somebody got on the list. Very enthusiastic about Madami. Eric Menrin. Ruth Beater Jisenberg. List. put it on the list by the reaction yeah okay list it list it the reaction was great uh Diego

I wish Chrissy was the Mayo monkey who snuck into my family we all have at least one Guzman I don't know what that means for is a little wordy all right Gianna Bargazi then we got the Scuturo school of fine art and finger painting that's Jesse school Jesse school yeah Dan Buckmaster Hayden Wright Dorklevich John Vassallo Leanne the garlic slicer Chris Rosal Is that her from the garlic slicer The original

Might be Leanne the original Garlic slicer Then we got fart my pretty dick Call me gorgeous Cockus Cockles Okay Just a cutie with the booty Jesua

Paul Einreich Arn Shavaria Cerebral palsy What it is Screws are on tight Cerebral Palsi is what it is the screws are on tight. Are we at 20,000 members yet?

Because mommy needs a new pair of titty's. Because we did say when we get to 20,000 members, if any of our female fans want new tits, we'll pay for them. We'll pay for what pair of tits. That's it. Matthew Furbush, Chris Davis, Portuguese kid,

so not allowed to have black fatigue. I don't get it. Don't quite understand that one. All right. Cubolio, Jonathan Sexton, Zach Sussman, Hurtin for a squirtin. Josiah Hallman

It's feeling a little crusadey My Fuzzy Cousy-Muzzy Jaden Ullawa Cameron Stallman E&T Amusements Shout out AYG Chris and Yani's Boy Band should be called

Two Balls Deep Okay Shrekstocking with the boys Shirt cocking Yes Josh B Not a Leroy but my Papa still left me.

We do not conzone that. Justin Ensley, hog blaster, Tom Schoenfield, call me a lesbian pirate and scissor me timbers. What?

Cisor me timbers is definitely going on the list. Cisor me timbers. Call me a pirate, Cisorby timbers is a contender. What if... Listen to erotic, asphyxiation and public

humiliation. That we do not... We do not. We do not condone you making names like that. Nope. B. Schmidt. Justin Ensley, Chris Rubin, Hogblaster 4269.

Charlie C.A., Tom Schoenfield, the King of Pop, Michael Jacking Off Sons. You got a list. Yeah, you got a list. It's a strong list. And then last but not least, do not send feet pickies here at Ypoppas.com. Drexler, Drexler.

So here's the list. Strong list. You've got to help us decide. Okay, here we go. I'll start from the beginning. Chrissy looks like Freddie Freeman's retarded brother. Stucked 15 milk duds up her ass and sucked until I got 25 back. That was sticking around.

You can, you can Drexler, Chris. Freddie Freeman. Stanley Tucci's Harry Poochie? Still? Chicken finger. No, I don't think so. They're out. Hey, babe.

take your frisbee off babe I can't get hard unless you take your frisbee off babe that's it that's staying that's funny so those are staying uh Ruth Beter Jisenberg I don't think it made it it didn't make it

call me a lesbian pirate and scissor me timbers we're gonna have it we're gonna have a tight race here the king of pop Michael jacking off sons direction now that's out yeah okay I slow push farts to itch my hemorrhoids in public

I mean That's got to stick around That has to stick around My girlfriend's a frisbee When I come in her pussy I call it an inside job That's staying around I mean

That's got to stick around Cindy lopped off my balls Because girls just want to have fun No didn't make it It's a chicken figure but I love it Okay so here here's the contenders here we have stuck 15 milk duds upper ass and sucked until I got 25 back hey babe take your frisbee off babe I can't get hard unless you take your frisbee off babe

call me a lesbian pirate and scissor me timbers oh yeah that's still in that's it um I slow push farts to itch my hemorrhoids in public my girlfriend's a frisbee when I come in her pussy I call it an inside job I mean, I think it's, I think it's, I think it's pretty clear, right? Cisor me timbers. Call me a lesbian pirate and scissor me timbers. Cisor me timbers. They are the winner.