History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - The return of Frank Rizzo with Big Jay Oakerson | History Hyenas

Episode Date: May 29, 2025

Big Jay Oakerson stops by and the boys talk Frank Rizzo and cosmetic surgery. Support our sponsors: Your new wardrobe awaits! Get 20% off @chubbies with the code hyenas at https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/hyenas #chubbiespod Start your free online visit today at https://Hims.com/HYENAS. Head to https://acornsearly.com/hyenas or download the Acorns Early app to help your kids grow their money skills today. Go to https://everyplate.com/podcast and use code HYENAS199 to get started. #comedypodcast #Podcast #History Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas/ Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit.ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0 Hyenas Merch!!! https://teespring.com/stores/historyhyenas Follow us Cuz! 🙆🏻‍♂️ Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ 🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ 🐕More Hyenas Website: www.historyhyenasisback.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/historyhyenas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HistoryHyenas Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/historyhyenaspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get to Toronto's main venues like Budweiser Stage and the new Rogers Stadium with Go Transit. Thanks to Go Transit's special online e-ticket fairs, a $10 one-day weekend pass offers unlimited travel on any weekend day or holiday, anywhere along the Go network. And the weekday group passes offer the same weekday travel flexibility across the network, starting at $30 for two people and up to $60 for a group of five. Buy your online go pass ahead of the show at go transit.com slash tickets. Hey everybody this episode coming up with Big Jay Okerson is a smash we talked Philadelphia we talked a little Frank Rizzo and we talked some fun lipo suction stories. Big Jay's got some of the best stories in the business this one is

legitimately hilarious from start to finish right I will be on the road this weekend. This Friday I'm in, I'm sorry, this Thursday I'm in Washington D.C. at the Warner Theater. Friday I'm at the Carolina Theater, Durham, North Carolina. Saturday I'm at Charleston Music Hall in Charleston, South Carolina. Christy Comedy dot com if you want to see Chrissy Antebellum, Chrissy Southern Belle. Yeah, and the only thing I have in the books is November in Montana at the Performing Arts Center or something, November 22nd or something. Go to my website, YanisPepisComedy.com for tickets and the special's coming out somewhere. What's up everybody? Welcome to another episode of history hi heinous today we got a special

guest one of the funniest comedians one of my favorite comedians one of your favorite comedians who's got a new special out right now on YouTube part two him her them day them day I got my pronouns wrong yeah I got the pronouns wrong. You misgendered my special brah. I misgendered my special brah. The great Jay Okerson everybody. Yes! What's up gentlemen? What's up everybody? Now listen dude, we're gonna come in here, we said we're gonna talk about your Philadelphia kid, we wanna talk about the wild history of the crazy Philadelphia mayors. What is it about the city of Philadelphia that just gets the wildest mayors? I don't know, I never lived in Philadelphia through voting, so I never paid attention much.

I would just see like the, what they left in their wake. Like the mayor, the mayor itself position never, when I lived there never meant much to me. Right. So it didn't come from like a strong political family who is saying we gotta vote for this person for this reason. No. No.

I don't know if my mom's ever voted ever. Yeah. Well it's the same thing in New York. I don't know anyone who's ever voted for the mayor. Yeah. Like I don't know how they actually get elected. I don't know anyone who votes. I didn't know anyone who was like aware of local politics or who those politicians were till about like four years ago. Now it seems like even 12 year olds are voting for like city councilmen. Yeah. Yeah. We usually hear the names of people. When I first moved to New York, it was

Giuliani and they were like clean up the city, handled 9-11 great. And then it went to, right after that was Bloomberg. Yeah. Where everyone was like, this guy's gonna suck. And then they were like, he was great. He should have stayed forever. And then it was the guy who slept through the snow. Yeah, that was Wilhelm. His real name is Wilhelm.

Oh, Bill de Blasio. Bill de Blasio. Yeah. How great is it to build a Blasio? People hate him. Bill de Blasio. Bill de Blasio. Yeah. Fucking big. How great is it to Bill de Blasio? People hate him. He's a German guy who changed his name to Bill de Blasio to sound Italian. Really?

He's a real scum. He's a true scum and his wife, ex-wife now, stole something like 80 million dollars from the city and just was never prosecuted for it. That's what they say. Really? That she just stole it like this money was never- It was cash. She just turned it into broth.

Yeah. Hey, the shmiel. Little something for me yeah I mean I remember Mike Bloomberg like everyone in New York was mad at him because he banned big golfs you can't just have big sodas anymore yeah that was small sodas that was the worst thing about him you'll be in a mayor of Philly is difficult because I don't know Philly to me is always I've always felt like you know some cities are block to block you go to Jacksonville, Florida

You're on like a great block you turn a corner You're like you see a couple black kids without shirts on speedbikes and you're like, this is bad Philly's like person to person. Oh, yeah You're like you're right there at the like Ben Franklin grave and then you turn a corner and then you're like, oh my god It's not even you're in a bad neighborhood. You're just around bad people. It's like a bad guy. Yeah, like dilapidated Yeah, right town itself when you go to places down there if someone gives you an address Once you get off like the highways, you're like, what the hell someone burned this down already. Yeah. Yeah, so the work's been done. It's uh, Yeah, it's a very very strange place and Phil. Yeah, it was

person to person for sure, but it's also Like bad neighbor, you know Usually I said like people would come in and like gentrify an area and then pushes everything out. It went the opposite. It was like black people would move in and then the Jews started moving to where the Italians were, which pushed the Italians completely out. And it just kept going. And then like the, so North Philly and West Philly just kind of converged where it became an all a bad neighborhood. And then there is no East Philly for some reason.

Yeah, there is no, it just doesn't exist. Just just New Jersey. Yeah. Wow. They start calling it center city. Yeah. It's like center city, north, south and west. Right.

Yeah. It's funny because like, South Philly still like, I guess it's hilariously white to a degree, like the areas of it, but like, that's where it gets people to people. It's like the worst kind for you to have worked and tried and did everything your whole life. And like your grandma's house is still like a row home, shithole next to a trap house. And when I went to my grandma, my grandmother in West Philly, before she moved my parents and went to like nursing home, ultimately, she just

would never move. And so it was just, but they would just like integrate them into the neighborhood, like the older people that stayed, so it would, I remember going there and just like battle raps happening on the front steps of my grandma's house. Yeah. Because the neighbors were just one of those houses, like it was a half plywood door,

and the other one was a bag. But they were just like, as soon as my grandmother came, I'd be walking up to her house like, ah, shit. And then my grandmother would be like, you know, it's like, hey T-Bone, Tyrell, hi, Miss Jeanette. Two regs. She would tell me stories of like, she goes, there was some kids outside and they were throwing rocks at the house. And I got the one like little girl, he goes, and I brought her inside and I was like, I've

been very nice to you, and I've done this, and I let you use my phone when you were locked, you're like telling her, and I was like, did she attack you after that? I just couldn't believe she was, she gets there and starts yelling at kids and stuff. You're out of your mind. Yeah, yeah, well they were neighbors,

they're a friendly community. See, I think too, like you and I, when we go to Philly, I think we only ever go to South Philly, right? Like we would have never been to West Philly or these other parts, like every time I go to Philadelphia, you hear how bad it is, the drugs,, I think we only ever go to South Philly, right? Like we would have never been to West Philly or these other parts. Like every time I go to Philadelphia, you hear how bad it is, the drugs and I think Kensington. But I'm like every time I go to Philly, it feels like an alternative New York, but I must be going to like just the tourist part of Philly.

Right, well if you're down by Helium's and like the Comedy Club and stuff, that's Center City. So that's like, is he work during the day? I'm sure there's crimes at nighttime. It's desolate. Yeah, right. It's also just like you said there's still bars down there and everything. So it's more of a jumping area. Yeah, once you get into the residential, shitty, if you go to Temple, is that really still bad? Yeah, so I did my senior thesis paper on magnet schools and the one that was like right by Temple, you know what magnet schools are? No.

Where they like try to collect like you know disenfranchised kids and they all go to the same school okay and yeah the neighborhood around Philly is like it looked like Iraq yeah at the time as I was in college it was like it's so dangerous yeah yeah temples right in North Philadelphia it's in like the skin. I was driving by temple once when a hooker jumped in my car. It was when everyone just had a Nokia phone. Yeah. And it costs money to use it constantly. Oh yeah. You have to pay for minutes. Yeah. Yeah. And this lady jumped in my car and she

was just offering me to fuck for money. And I was like, I was like, get out of my car please. No. And she goes, she goes, let me use your phone and call my mama. I was like, no, get out. And she goes, come on, give me two dollars to get out. And I was like, and I gave it to her. Yeah, she got out, I'm like, please get out. So she's got robbed politely by a junkie prostitute. Kensington is, the beautiful thing about it, cause that's just drugs.

And they have those, if you go on YouTube I've killed many in hours just you could put on there's they have cameras just up in Kensington You just watch at night like the chaos right of that drug-riddled place, but because it's so drug riddled No race lines whatsoever in Kensington. That's what's good. You don't even see a thing You don't see white people afraid of walking by a black people or vice versa in any kind of way, right? Because everyone is just there for drugs Nothing always nothing brings people together if you notice like money like there's no racism amongst the really rich

No, there's no racism amongst like drug addicts. No. Yeah, I always say there's no racism amongst money drug addicts or children They're all everyone just gets along there even Steven's we all need drugs Yes, it depends on who the parents of the children are. No, I'm telling you dude, it's hard to corrupt these little kids. Well, one time I was in a supermarket and I did see a lady with her daughter and there was a black guy walking by and she went, look mommy, a nickel. So I was like, that one she's getting started early. Yeah. She's tiger mom in that one. Racism. Huh? Is that where you live? No, this was in Brooklyn. Yeah. Oh really? Yeah, not up by the way. She just went, look mommy, there where you live? No, this was in Brooklyn. Oh really? Yeah, not up by the way, she just went,

look mommy, there's a nickel. Yeah, it's just one nickel. You teach racism in Brooklyn, you're setting your kid up to get killed. Yeah, no. You're setting it up tough. You're just gonna see the group you hate on the next train stop.

Yeah. Yeah, it's stupid. But so for me, Philly, we did an episode five, six years ago on this show about Frank Rizzo, the legendary mayor of Philly. Is that Chris Italian? Could have been Chris Italian walking. I'm going by in a chair.

Hey guys. So we did this episode on Frank Rizzo, legendary Philadelphia mayor, crumbum. I'll take the bothies physically. We watched, we watched video after video after video after video you remember this one of Frank Rizzo Nobody loves me like the Negro community. Yeah. Yeah We watched it last time on you. Can we yeah a little bit? Yeah, he hit that it was like close things like Negro Yeah, I'm pretty sure when we asked Johnny Brennan of the jerky boys

When they would do Frank Rizzo open yours, I I was like, was that bait? And they were like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, we got the name. Were they Philly guys? No, no, no. New York guys. But they were just like, the guy was so notoriously like. Wow, I didn't know that. It was based on the Frank Rizzo. Just using that term, just the name, like Frank Rizzo.

Open yours, jerk off. Our Frank Rizzo episode is like one of our fans classics. And you're a guy from Philly, so we wanted to talk about some of the wild mayors that we've had and revisit Frank Rizzo. Do you remember, you were a guy from Philly so we wanted to talk about some of the wild mayors that we've had and revisit Frank Rizzo. Do you remember you were a little kid I guess you were pretty young for Frank Rizzo. Yeah but the lore was around right? Oh yeah yeah yeah and I still like he had like murals painted of himself which was great. It might still stand there it's just old like you know they have like that tonic hair what do you call it it's like the, yeah hair where like, you know, they dip a comb in something before they comb it every day

It's like that's somehow in the in the mural They said that they removed the Frank Rizzo statue in the protest of 2020 in Center City, Philly They took his statues down really. Yeah Jesse there you he was a really tough guy. Yeah, he was just a Philly Italian. Oh, yeah, absolutely. You know, my dad Grew up in Philly and there was like a pretty prominent Philly mob Actually at that time. Yeah, that was younger. My dad remembers a story of a junior chicken. Sal testa No, no blew up his house. Like his house was blown up in Philadelphia. There's a great like Philadelphia mob stories They're pretty serious until when I was a teenager, the Philadelphia mob was laughable. I think they were violent,

but they were young guys. And they were like, it was the era of young mobsters who were like, yeah, we're mobsters. They wanted the world to know they weren't hiding in any way. They were just constantly in trouble and not letting into the Atlantic City casinos until they were lino. One of those Philly Philly guy I think is Nikki Scarfo. He was like bad bad like legendary like absolutely like kill you dismember your body type real guy I think Joey Merlino is the kid who stood up to him and kind of took it over right and it was just become a young bunch of young violent guys put in Frank Wizzle Crumb Bum. It looks like Stalin. Yeah, I know. Yeah, it's a statue.

It's a statue of a mayor like he's Mao. Yeah, yeah, Crumb Bum, Jesse, down there like fourth down. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, these are the ones, yeah, this one. This one, play this one. Have you ever seen this? I love that there's a statue of him. The statue of Iverson's this big.

Yeah, it is. Oh, I love it. Does this look like a normal Philly block to you this is suburbs you must be in the main line So Frank Rizzo gets a little annoyed with the reporter here, yeah, yeah, just he's had enough he's had enough for this guy Mr.. Rizzo's property yeah kick all the guys property That's what cameraman Meyer saw through the lens of the hidden 19 camera that morning not much happened for about three hours and then around well you know in his defense your cap you camped out outside the guys property get a little annoying I would get pissed

off till yeah comes out and walk his dog what was the guy I don't think that was his cabinet our budge wire that's the guy who shot himself on live TV. Oh yeah! Remember that? Was that a Philly guy? He was like the Phil Dove treasure or something. It was something crazy like that. Yeah, have you ever seen that? No. That guy blew his brains out on live TV. They really, it's almost never censored by the way. When you see it, it's so real. Yeah, you can fully see it. Oh, I remember that video. Yeah. He starts telling everybody to get away. He's like, get away. Yeah, get away. First he tells people you're gonna leave. He goes, don't leave. You're gonna want to see this. And then You start telling everybody get away. He's like, get away. Yeah, get away. First he tells people you're going to leave. He goes, don't leave.

You're going to want to see this. And then he starts telling people to get away so they don't get hurt. And then he blows his brains out on TV and just like, it's so real. Hey, Jessica, you just play. I love the part when he, when you just let it go. It's about to happen. ...handing over this official Philadelphia police press pass in order to clearly identify himself to everybody on the scene. And also remember as you heard, is that Frank Rizzo is not a member of the philadelphia police

like uh and this is supposed to be an official tom landry yeah here we go here we go all right look at this wait a minute let him like damn time listen what do you mean that's enough we want to know who you are. Who are you, sir? Can I have some identification? Identification. Come on out. Mayor Joey Diaz.

Yeah. Yeah. We'll look at that. If you're not holding your hands up like that, you'll get in trouble. Yeah. We want to know who you are and what you're doing up here. Do your best. Crazy to have a mayor in your face like that. Chals. Yeah. You want to know who you are and what you're doing up here.

Crazy to have a mayor in your face like that. Hey, look, he's still Jack too. He's still a big guy. With his, with his like, members only. It's the detail of like, uh, cops with them. Yeah. It's a lot easier to stop and tell us you're here. But we don't know.

He's saying you have a dog in here. Right? A bunch of- Dog? We could have shot you or something, but we don't know. Oh, oh! Yeah! Frank Rizzo, baby! He said you have a dog in here right? Frank Rizzo just attacked Dawn Go on tell you something what a better time. Yeah. I wish our mayors did this. I just can't understand. Sorry. I'll tell you what. Get out of here. That's it. You want another pop? I'll give you another pop, eh?

I mean, yeah, the crumbum. When did it say crumbum? That was classic. Yeah, that was another time he was getting followed. You have to, hey, you pulled it up, crumbum, and this is what came up? Yeah, it happened on this day, maybe later in the video. Maybe later in the video. Yeah, yeah. Just scroll with your, no, scroll on the timeline. Yeah. Yeah, there we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hit it right there. Yeah, yeah, this word. Yeah, yeah, this yeah this word Creep get out of here. Justify your actions at our cameras last Monday It's definitely he knows he's on TV. Oh, yeah, you know, they're gonna air this he doesn't care Freeze NBC A gang of you's here. There's enough of you here by myself. I'll take you physically BC. you crumb. You crumb. I'll put my dog away and I'll come back and you got one two three and I'll do it along with you. In that back of that fence just the three of us. It's such great talk because any two guys are going to beat the shit out of Frank. He's an older man it's like you know I get it but like there's no way. I'm sure the guy a guy was holding that 1980

camera individually beat the shit out of Frank I love it he still thinks he can spirit yeah still think yeah I bet it still looks scary though when he when he gives you like a yeah face to the chin yeah dude that's a thick fingers like for sure but honestly I think if somebody came out politically today and acted that way The people would love it. They would rally around it. You don't think so I I mean there's a faction that would the problem is like the the flack for it would be too much this guy Never saw any of his flack

He didn't know what going viral was it yeah, there was no such thing So he would just say whatever you want and people were like probably afraid of him Yeah, I mean just back then I mean Frank Rizzo man He was term he it's funny cuz Philly had him probably at the same time that we had Ed Cotts who everyone thought was gay which he was gay. He was right. Is that a fact Ed Cotts was gay? Closet and homosexual. I mean he wasn't he wasn't closeted in That he was hiding it from himself. Like he just it, it was just, he was always like, he had no wife or anything, he talked like, I'm Ed Koch, and like, it was just a gag.

When you get the judge show, he started spinning around all the time. Yeah, he was so feminine. This is slimming. Wasn't he the mayor, I think he really did this, he took people from a mental institution and let them loose in Central Park. Didn't he do that?

Or is that an old wives tale? Just let him go. I don't know. See if Ed Koch actually did that. See if Ed Koch, Mayor Ed Koch, went till I think it was Creedmoor or Bellevue Mental Institution and he took them out and he let them loose in Central Park one night.

Ed Koch. Nice. Release mental patients. Perfect. Fun mistake. Ed Koch releases Now while we look that up, let me ask you you never had any like dreams of like Moving back to Philly and moving to Radner big house when I first left You guys are both from New York. So it's like when I first left

I think anybody you leave with like the I let me just move here Do what I gotta do get where I gotta get so they can finally come back to Philly and I couldn't even imagine Yeah, going back to Philadelphia never you're in Yorker now. You've been here a long time. Yeah, 23, 24 years. It's like, yeah, at this point I'm a New Yorker, not the teams. You never really lose the home phone though. It's always there, right? I'll pick it up quick. I say water, but there's not a time that I say it where I don't think the word water is coming up. Don't say wooder. Yeah. Like your mind, your brain is saying wooder,

but your mouth's saying water. So what's funny about that, what's going back, is my step-pop is the smartest person I know. He's just like book smart, speed reader, funny. Also a power lifter, which is very funny. Well, amazing. Like his personality's never been of a smart person, but he just is. Very, very smart. his personality's never been of a smart person, but he just is right very very smart and

When I talked to him on the phone to still like they have the accents hard So here's the one I like respect that much smart. He goes You get a drink of water real quick. Yeah, like you dummy Yeah, that's not how you say about like geopolitical When you come in here, yeah Yeah, when you gonna come home? Come by the house. The problem is he was in Israel and Palestine. Yeah, it's funny because the British accent makes you feel smart even if you say the dumbest

shit, but the Philly accent makes you sound stupid even if you say the smartest shit. It's dumbest shit. It stretches right down to through Delaware and Maryland. Right. Maryland has it too. Oh yeah. Jen didn't know that. When I watched The Wire, I thought, oh, maybe it's like they're gonna make this character

with like Philly transport. They have the same accent. Yeah, it's like an Atlantic kind of. Where does it come from? I wonder how it evolved in that, because it's unique. It's not attractive. Well, but I heard.

It's as bad as Boston and ugly. But I heard, I think it's Philadelphia or Boston, which I know is a big, I gotta know which one it is, but whichever one is the closest to what George Washington sounded like. Like that accent. That is true. I forgot which one it is.

It's either Boston or Philly, it's what they think they sounded like. Franklin and Lincoln, not Lincoln, Franklin and Washington. I was gonna say it's definitely Boston, but it could be either one. It could be either one, I definitely forgot. And there are two local dumb people's interpretations

of that, that's why they sound bad. Yeah, that is. That would be really funny to hear that speech coming out of George Washington's mouth and he just sounds like an Eagles fan. Yeah, yeah. Or Bostonian would be funny too. Lewis, Kurt Metzger wanted to make a show years ago called Young Ben Franklin

Where I play young because he's like Ben Franklin's got a crazy history of the wild motherfucker And he was like just do a young Ben Franklin with exactly the accent everything. Yeah, we're gonna dead Kate Liberty Bell today Yeah, knock down statues I mean they say Benjamin Franklin like literally, historians kind of all agree on this, that that's why he was able to get France to join the war, because he was having sex with like four or five of the king's mistresses. And so he knew they had an ear to the king, so he was hooking up with all, because he was a bona fide celebrity in his day.

It wasn't like- Guy-barded. A lot of these guys are famous after the fact. He was famous during his life. And so they were saying that he was able to get, like whoever the king's top mistress was, he was having sex with her. And he said, you know, get to the king's ear, tell him that he's got to join our war. And that's what he did. Yeah. Horror pussy, huh?

Yeah, seriously, dude. It was a funny thing. I was picturing him being like slob, like four girls lying asleep in a bed. He's got like an open robe with like the key and in the... Hey, you girls sleep up, I gotta figure something out real quick. Yeah, yeah. I'll come back in when I need a top off. Dude, he would write letters and say, his autobiographers said how much he loved his wife and kids, but then he just would go eight, nine years without seeing them, because he was just back in Girls in France.

He just wouldn't see them. It wasn't even there when his wife died. His wife died, he came home like six months later. Yeah. He goes, sorry, I'm trying to swim out of all this foreign pussy. Yeah. He was, he like, when he went to, he lived there for a year. No, dude, he did not, when he left Philadelphia, he did not, there was one time when he was in England, did not come back to the United States or 13 colonies for like nine years.

When like the revolution was happening, he wasn't there. He was like, I'm friends with everybody. Yeah, I'll go fuck our way into getting some help. Yeah, yeah. Just send your cocksman over. Yeah. I used to do that with Julian McCullough. Hey, see if we can get to the front of this line,

there's a pretty girl up there. Go handsome guyer. Yeah, go handsome guyer. Yeah, you need a guy like that around. Yeah. Yeah. But Ben Franklin by all by all drawings of him certainly does not look like a good looking guy. No. It's almost like that I think the hedgehog. Yeah. Like Ron Jeremy he had that confidence though. Yeah. I've met guys like that in several markets around the world. There's Florida there's always a guy like that a big fatso who

just has young hot chicks around to keep some coke top Yeah, or a big dick. I mean look Ron Jeremy just had a dick on him He just can count down has come. Yeah, you imagine a guy that can It kills everything cuz you're like, oh, well, maybe my dick isn't enormous because I'm fat and you're like now fat's not gonna make a difference No, Ron. Jeremy got morbidly. That fucking dick always hung 12 true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's not your theory. It didn't matter.

It really does. Maybe he had to give a little more base pull back to get that last inch, but I mean, come on. That's true, because yeah, you're always thinking about, well, if I just lose 10 pounds, it'll grow an inch. Yeah, I know. Bobby, you saw me and he goes, dude, my dick's so much bigger than I lost weight.

He goes, is it much? Yeah. It's a big problem. Much bigger. Yeah, you're in your mid-50s, your dick's bigger. Yeah, but how does that? It turns out there was so much more in there. Yeah, I mean, that's not even a real thing.

I mean, so how does that even work? You lose weight here and it goes into your dick? Dude, the only... It's just you can see it better. It's the illusion of it. The only, like, cosmetic surgery thing I've ever got, like, um, what do you call it, consultation on, was I was like, when I started losing weight, I was like, I wonder if I should get liposuction on that right about, around my dick area. It will make it look better, certainly when it's soft.

And I go, it just seems like a weird place that I, I don't even know how I could attack losing weight there. And I never went back because I went to the guy, first thing I thought so many forms that they're like telling you like, hey, just if you die during anesthesia, like whatever, you can't sue us. Yeah, you're probably going to die during anesthesia. So that scared me, but then the girl takes me to the back room, the doctor comes in, I mean so cold about everything, where he's just like, alright so what you're looking to do here, he goes, let me see, he goes, drop your pants real quick, and you're like, first of all it's awful, not prepared for that at all.

Yeah, the hot chick's still in the room, right? No, no, no, thank God. But even with the doctor you would chop up a little bit. I wanted a man to also think it was nice. Yeah. So you don't want any way. Because listen, all he's going to do is go out there and tell that nurse. Whatever it is, he's going to be like.

I mean, I think she, I think I already had the humiliation of like, on the paperwork, like writing it's like whatever. It's like pelvic, whatever, liposuction. It's called a make my dick look bigger surgery. Yeah, yeah, yeah, might as well. But when the guy goes drop your pants, and I'm like, okay, so I dropped it,

and he goes, come over here in front of the mirror, which is already another nightmare, like, ooh. And I'm like, okay, I'm staying there, and his thing, like, if this is my dick, he goes, okay, I mean, this close, then he goes, now here's how it looks now. And he takes his hands around my dick and he just pushes back and he goes, and here's how it will look after.

I went, okay. Okay. You feel his breath on your dick? He's like, it only, he's like, it costs this much and everything. I'm like, I'm already in my mind. I'm like, I will never be back here. I can't get through this.

It was just the way, it was so gentle. He's like, and it will look like that Just took some of the fat just yeah I just go right around before the balls Yeah, I know it yeah yeah I've done that myself yeah. Did look a little sweeter though no? It did look sweet but I didn't get it done. Hey everybody let me tell you something right now Chubbies has sent us shorts that's a bathing

suit right there look how cute they are. Look how cute that is. The shorts are great I got the right inseam and I wore them this weekend with my family. I like Chubbies. They're comfortable and they're cute. Cause I like these. They are so comfy, wonky.

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It's annoying. Results vary based on studies of topical and oral minoxidil and finasteride. Prescription products require an online consultation with a healthcare provider who will determine if a prescription is appropriate. Restrictions apply. See website for full details and important safety information. Yeah. I remember like one of your old bits I saw on TV, maybe it was like white boys and her or something. You had a bit where you were just like something about, I forgot

the punch on it. It was like that you kind of have like just a sad looking dick. Yeah. It's kind of just sad. I have one of those. It was a good bit, yeah. I got one of those dicks. I got one of those dicks that like sticks to my jeans, and shorts, and like I gotta like let it breathe a little bit. It's like wine, I gotta let it get some oxygen

to sort of revitalize. Every once in a while when I take like a Viagra or something I got, or a Cialis, just because why not? Sure. When I take those, it's not so much like, I don't have like boner issues ever so it's not really, that's the thing. Except for the next two or three days though, the dangle is sweet. Yeah. You get a good dangle. You wish people

would know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You walk around in your underwear, you're like, what's going on here? Yeah. Of course, me and my girlfriend are going to be like, I was like, are you hard? I'm like, it's not even. Yeah. crazy. I think that's what it's always supposed to be. Yeah, it's amazing. Wow, so you get a good post-boner dangle. I never realized that. For a couple days. I think it's because it's so ready to go

that the slightest graze of underwear or sweatpants or anything, get it ready to go. So it's always like half the time. Does it hurt? Do you get boners for so long if they won't go down or that's not how it works? No, I mean, they say that's a terrifying thing that could happen, but I've never had that.

Doesn't happen. I just don't take it very often. Doesn't happen with BluChu, use our promo code hyenas. Yeah. Dude, I was about to say. BluChu does not happen with BluChu. See, there you go, BluChu's great. Love BluChu.

That is an underserved, under known about benefit that they could really market. They really should market. I don't know, maybe listen, maybe it's not a guarantee, so it's not why they won't market that way, but that's what I've always done. Well, like if you're one of those guys, like you're 24 years old, you're like, I saw a bad bunny, he's got a big Calvin Klein head right there here on Housen Street. It's like take a Viagra, take a Cialis, take a Blue Chew just to get pumped a little bit

for the shoot. Not harsh, just nice and soft but pumped. Absolutely. It's like putting creatine in your dick. It's the only time that I would comfortably ever pull my dick out soft before anything. I'm more, because even at the times I've taken it before, I think something's happening tonight and then it doesn't. And then you're like, I just enjoy this guy for the next couple days

Like two months ago jazz my girl. She she literally, you know, it's fine We've you know been together ten years and I'm I came out of the shower. Whatever, you know, I'm just towel She's in there brushing teeth whatever and she just is looking at my dick in the mirror She goes I never noticed your soft penis doesn't go past your balls That's a man. I was like, yeah Like when it's hard, it's good. She's like, but I just never noticed it doesn't act like your balls. She said that to me and I was like, yeah. She was like, oh no, like when it's hard it's good. She's like, but I just never noticed it doesn't act like your balls are longer. I was like, yeah, go fuck yourself.

Yeah. Thanks. I would say the age starts grabbing your balls. Yeah, it starts pulling you down. However, a heavy set of balls also will make your dick look a little bigger. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. What I would do is I would, if I got that dangle, that post, that post-boner dangle, I would want to make up for all those times that I wanted to take it out impressively in those days where it had the dangle. So I just try to create situations where I may have to take it out.

Take it out, pull it out. So you'll still be good the next morning. Yeah. You'll get me a hopper, pop out of the shower a little bit, he goes, hey, do we have a, can you get me a bar of soap? What's going on? He goes, nothing. That's how it is He goes, nothing.

That's how it is soft, dog. Come on. Free podcasts, I just readjust my pants by taking them off for a second. Yeah. Let the flop hit. Let the flop hit it out. It's like, I'm good, guys.

Yeah. Yeah, I just, life could have been better if I had more of an oppressive dick, I think. It really does have something to do with your psychology. Well, the scary thing is when you're happy where you're at in life, in any way way when you get to like a Lisa comfort point We were like, this is good Did you like why I wouldn't want of anything to fucking change that trajectory if I was just

if I had a dick that could have just been pulled out and Garner you getting pussy from that. Yes. I, I've seen happen with Kevin Hart specifically. He was just pulling out and we're like, god damn. Yeah, I'll go. He's got a big dick. Kevin Hart's got a big dick? Monster, especially on a 5 foot 3 body. And when we would do shows together and hang out

after the shows and talk to girls or pull girls by, and how fast he would be like, Jay, dare me to pull my dick out. I go, OK. Kev, I dare you to pull your dick out. He'd pull his, you know, three black women in the room going, ooh! And they'd be like, Jay, I dare you to pull your dick out. And I was like, ha!

You're nuts, nope. No, yeah. No, it was my job, I was the entertain the two fat friends who looked like, I mean, sanitation workers, these two chicks. Right, they were the same je, these two chicks. Right. They're like the same jean shorts you are. The matrix just came out on HBO.

Out of the theaters. It was like, that's how long ago this was matrix one. And I remember, uh, Kevin went in the bathroom with this girl and you can just hear the work of a 10 inch penis doing what it does. And I got these girls out there who have, I mean, two women, cornrows but cumulative between two girls ten cornrows. This is big thickies Look, they're like the godfather the old wrestler and uh, you know WWE but they were like, yeah I just remember like matrix came on which it's funnies at the time what I used to complain about Was a like matrix was so

Made a lot of stupid people feel smart so so sick of everybody doing like the it makes you think a lot. Makes you think. It makes you think I'm like no. No. It doesn't it's just it's a good movie though. Yeah. And I remember those two girls came in like they kind of had like a what are we gonna do all that they're definitely getting horny hearing their friend get drilled. Sure. Loud and uh they're like, I go, matrix. I go, have you guys seen this? It's really makes you think.

Like, it's just kind of, so they're just watching matrix loud while. Yeah. Did they show, ever show any interest? Like they wanted to hook up with you or no? Or like. Oh, it would have happened. Like just the energy in the room.

It would have happened, but I was just like, oh dude, this girl. And by the way, I wasn't above banging two big fat women. It wasn't about that. It's certainly the time either. I was like, I'll take what's coming. You didn't want to. It was that like, I was like, after they just saw his, like, come on. It's bad. Me and Kareem Green had a couple of stories. I hooked it up with chicks together where it was like, come on, man, don't make me go first. Yeah. Oh Kareem Green, great comic has to have an absolute missile. Right?

Uh I don't even know if his was necessarily that like I don't remember being like that crazy big. Yeah. Other than it was just black and better. Right. Yeah. Well Will Silvenso's famous for pulling out his dick pics sometimes sitting there at the comedy cell and he'll just pull it out you know like that's got to be photoshopped. That be photoshopped. But he's been pulling that out since 2007. I used to talk about it on stage all the time. I was like, I said when a woman described it in the audience, saw it, so we asked him, I go, do you want to see the picture? I'll show it to you if you want to see it. It was a lady and her mom. And they were like, oh my God, it's like a, like a tripod. I was like, do you want to see what she's saying?

That if you fell forward, your own penis would save you from bashing your nose into the ground. Yeah, yeah. It's just... I got a funny Kareem Green story. You were there in Montreal. Remember Nate and Kareem Green? We were there. Kareem Green was the black guy. That was Toure, wasn't it? Oh, that's Toure. Oh my god, I just confused black and white.

Yeah, dude. We've been talking back to the history of Philadelphia mayors. Yeah, they're two easy guys. Never seen Ture's dick. I'm sure it's lovely. It's gotta be you. It's tall. Really confused two black people. But those are two guys you can easily confuse. They look similar.

But Ture, Philly comic, great comic. We were at- First mentor, I'd say, really, is the guy that kinda pulled me and Kevin and Metzger and kinda showed showed us like at least a black circuit He's awesome. He was awesome. He was doing the comedy cellar for a while, but then I just stays in Philly now I always you ever wonder what black people black guys dream about I found out To remember the story so I walked in I was going to get the keys from Nate's pocket

We were staying in the same apartment in Montreal and to Ray and him came home plastered and Toure passed out on the bed and I was going in like in your guys room yeah in Nate's room right I don't know where Nate was so I walked in to get the keys because I was actually going to this girl's hotel room and I needed the keys to get back in so I go in there and Toure I guess I woke Toure up and he just shoots up and he pulls the ironing board closer to the bed and he puts his hands on it. He's like, yeah, yeah, so what are we talking about? Royalties on his album y'all are gonna be giving me

because I really need to market it the right way. And I went, what? And he went, ugh. He just went. He was. Cash and checks and snapping necks, dude. That's all he dreamed about. I just happened to dream about having a record company deal, dude.

Yeah, with Royals. Yeah. I swear to God, that's exactly what happened. Now, I want some points in the back end, you see? Yeah. He pulled the ironing board, he put his hand up. Boardroom meeting. That's great.

Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I'll take less upfront for more points in the back. True story. I mean, that's what he must have been dreaming about, was getting a record deal. I mean, dude.

It's funny because he's in comedy, but you know, black kids, I think it's just a dream, like to just get that deal. Record deal or get drafted in the NFL. Yeah. That's what you want. Or NBA. That's why black comics keep making albums instead of specials, because they want to get a record deal.

You want to say their album drops. Yeah. Yeah. But no one's doing that anymore. Yeah. They're like, uh, really loved your, really loved your comedy album. Well, yeah. But what about, have you checked out my, you checked out my music, checked out my mixtape. There's a club in the Bronx now. I want to say that like, or Harlem, I think it's called a comedy in Harlem or something. That's like, everyone's doing albums there. I keep seeing the thing, it's like, yo, come catch ya, you know,

Sleepy Floyd, come do his new album recording, it was album, just throw up two cameras and call it a special. But it's funny, because they love it so much, like even when guys get successful in something else, they'll put out an album, dude. Kawhi Leonard, the basketball player, the quietest guy, he put out a rap album. Black guys would just put out an album dude. The Kawhi Leonard, the basketball player, the quietest guy, he put out a rap album.

Yeah, I've talked. Black guys would just put out an album. I've said a thousand words, or I've had a thousand words back and forth between me and Tiffany Haddish. 990 of them were about her music. Dude, think about it, we had. It's a good point.

Which football player we just had on, I'm just blanking. Oh, Pac-Man Jones. Pac-Man Jones got an album. Yeah. Remember he was like, but he was like, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to talk about football and all that, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He's like, and then he made us listen to his music.

And he was like, see, he was more than rap. He was actually singing vocals. He was singing, yeah. Pac-Man Jones, yeah. Yeah, they all. And I was like, you have CTE? He was like, nah. And then he was like, listen to me sing.

It was like, most off. Well, actually, no, his music wasn't terrible. It was pretty bad. Yeah, it was pretty bad. Yeah, I wouldn't say terrible. It was terrible. C music wasn't terrible it was pretty bad yeah yeah yeah yeah it was pretty bad it was pretty bad but remember Iverson did that Kobe Bryant Kobe Bryant met his wife on the set of his video and none of them are great no they try Dame Lillard I said but you have to respect the ego because like again it's something DeRosa has this to some degree, which I'm always impressed by.

Well, he's 10% Ethiopian. DeRosa has an album? Yeah. Several. Yeah, he's got several. Several albums. Yeah, exactly. So it's like, but I mean, like Joe, it's more,

it's not so much about putting out the music. You want to put it out and go out there and act like it's not happening. Yeah. It's like, Joe, like he's promoting it all and it's like, come check it out. He'll have comics come to the show and all it's so like Disarming that you don't make fun of it the way we should right? Yeah, just for having a passion of music

Like we just look cuz no one knows what to do about but I mean performing like that that was so Dave Lillard when they had him at the At the all-star game I guess go out there and do your do your raps I'm like there's actual rappers in that audience that are gonna be like, guys. He just went out there full confident doing it. It's pretty nuts. I know.

Well, that's what, at the end of the day, it's just about the confidence to do it. Like, when I saw DeRosa, when we did the comedy jam, and we did it, and he went up and was like a legit rock star up there So I get your point like we were all waiting or soda was there We were waiting to destroy him when he came back to the group, but we just started giving him high fives Could help it. Yeah, because he was like passionate. I love doing the comedy jam because it's a chance like

Really do it but just for that five minutes. Yeah, did I mean it's not like after I get off the comedy jam I'm like I should start a band. I'm like, nah, it's very fun to do. But like, you gotta like check out of it. It's too earnest. Yeah. Yeah. You have to be serious. You can't smile and sing. I used to have a thing on stage, like pointing it just about just going like, I can't like, I know how to like call anybody in my field and go like, Hey, is this funny? Like, blah, blah, blah. You know, it goes, but to call someone like Patrick Swayze, to call somebody and go like hey is this funny like blah blah blah you know it goes but to call someone like Patrick Swayze had to call somebody and be like hey is this any good dude she's like the wind through my trees and you have your friends gotta go it's beautiful man yeah I was told in a world where I feel like

you can come back goes hey is this a good lyric well it's funny I just show you how deeply I love my lady I had a cousin who was like wanted to sing like she was a singer I thought she was good because it's funny, I had- Does this show you how deeply I love my lady? Yeah. I had a cousin who was like, wanted to sing, like she was a singer. I thought she was good because it's family, she's confident. I was like, and she was like, can you please get this to Sway? Like you know Sway in the morning? Because I knew Sway. And so I said, all right, because I genuinely thought, I was like, this is good, she's got a good voice.

And then I said, yo, Sway, I got a cousin. He's like, oh man, I'll take a listen. And I texted it to him and he called me five minutes later, he goes, don't ever waste my time with that bullshit again. He was like, she's awful. And I was like, what? He was like, it's awful. And then he knew like everything how we would know like a comedian, like my mom will tell me like, oh, you see so and so they're so funny. And like, mom, that's awful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He knew it like that with the music. He was like, she's off beat. She doesn't know what the hell she's doing. She's stealing half her musical tone from like Beyonce. So he was like, this is, and

she's also 38 years old. That's a tough one. Yeah. So he was like, so none of it works. Also, let's say all that was working. Also. Because they could totally take not too talented if they're young and hot. They could fix that. Yeah. Well, now I would say I was, I watched some of the Coachella stuff on YouTube and like hip hop at this point, it's like no one's like performing live. Like it's, it's, they play the CD version over like the PA system and

then they say like every fifth or sixth, but they're not even like pretending, they're not lip syncing. They're like, uh, they're just letting it play and like halfway dancing and then say like every fifth word or something. It's very like, I'm like, man, what a grift almost. It's almost like when DJing. Yeah, exactly. It's like professional wrestling when everyone kind of

thought it was real, like now I guess singers are just going, hey man, this has always been fake. Yeah. Like no one does it, it's like crazy. Well now it's more about like Benson Boone stuck out. I was going to say him particularly. I was going to say, I just watched this thing from Coachella. I'm like, this guy goes for it and can sing amazingly.

Dude, and the backflips, and me and Jazz, we saw him live at the Brooklyn Paramount. Our daughter's a huge, huge fan. And he was doing the backflips. Was he great? Great live. Like truly great. Met my daughter, my daughter. It's funny too, like my daughter met him. And it's like, you realize like that's all she ever wanted

because now she doesn't listen to him as much anymore. She's like, oh, I already met him, who cares? Right. And so, but she, when he's doing these backflips, me and Jazz both said, you know, there's gonna be one day where that's the last backflip because he's gonna blow his knee out. Like there's no way to get that kind of air

because he's doing it in like high heel, no boot. Oh, I hope it's like a half. I hope it's a half twist each shit Like he's like like he just realized he's not making it around the whole time. He's hip if you get the audio of this thing goes Just beautiful beautiful. Oh, just know right away goes dip came off wrong Or if it's just like a Sigmund Freud type like tragedy Or if it's just like a Sigmund and Freud type like tragedy Final destination

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Applied as discount on first box, limited time only. Yeah, and Coachella, he did it like onto the floor from the stage. get started. Applied as discount on first box, limited time only. Yeah. And Coachella, he did it like onto the floor from the stage. Dude, but he does it. If you look at his Instagram, I mean he's insanely talented kid. I mean he does it on bicycles. He like knows how to flip. He does on rollerblades. He does it. So this kid's just confident in the flip, but there will be one last flip. Yeah. You do stuff like that, it's just going to happen. You got to hope maybe he won't stay famous long enough

for the flip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like he does it at some backyard, he does it at Soul Jolts. And it just fell all the way down. So that's the problem with like, I met Soul of Stones recently and they were so good. Still?

They were really, really good. And he's still like, Dude, he's 80 over 80. With a 35 year old hot girlfriend or 25 year old hot girlfriend. I mean, and he just like is all over the stage and has it. It's amazing when someone who's even like 30 plus years younger when you see them lose it.

Yeah. Like a Sebastian Bach or Marilyn Manson's actually lost weight and kind of like, I think that Me Too shit, with the fact that it went away, I think he like turned his life around and stuff like, yeah, he's like in shape and healthy and thin and sober got me too bad. I don't remember you well It was a good it was the girl Evan Rachel would accuse them of like a bunch of stuff and then

but she apparently from what they all say now the girls like she kind of rallied up everyone he's ever been with and Said uh, you know, okay Can you like back me up on this and they kind of rallied up everyone he's ever been with and said, uh, you know, Hey, can you like back me up on this? And they kind of did. So it was coming from all different angles. And then all the other girls said like, now that girl actually just kind of got us all like worked up and stuff. And the real tell I'd say, who knows? Maybe he's a deplorable, terrible person, but I will say that, uh, he watched McCall it up fucking stone. Lost my train of thought from that lab.

Yeah. What are they doing out there? Rose McGowan was his ex girlfriend. Yeah, what are they doing out there? Oh, no Rose McGowan Oh, yeah, was his ex-girlfriend. She read what he said She's not only she's not go after him She came out goes I support any women saying something happened to him because I have no experience a guy with him And I'm like that'd be the one you put cigarettes on and shit. Yeah Do it in her time so he's back now looking good. He does look good Yeah, yeah, but like yeah that shit came down him really hard

Yeah for a minute like he had to disappear for a minute Kevin Spacey to like people don't realize that Kevin Spacey just legally beat all the charges They were like all these few of them die a few of the people die. Yeah, but they wanted actually went to court I'm just saying like we live by the law that the law said there's nothing here. Yeah. Yeah, I have to so I watched that documentary. You gotta, I have to remember like what he did, like the nefarious things he actually did because his initial like, like that documentary, that thing, all that stuck with me from that was the guy who was like, yeah, I was like hanging out with him a bunch and then he tried

to kiss me and I was like, whoa, whoa, like I'm not gay. And like, you know, I got him on kind of away from me from me and and then I ignored him didn't talk to him for a while Then I wrote a script and I was like, you know, it'd be a great producer for this the one celebrity I know, you know So he goes and I figure I guess that's what you got to do is you have to like Do something gay with a guy to get a far ahead in Hollywood. So you went on a date with him Gave him the script and blew him in the car. And then he's like, his genuine argument, he's going like, I think I just need to look at the script. You thought just because you blew him, he

was going to like, that's crazy. So I was like for that right there, I'm like, that's a railroading right there. Why are you even on this documentary? Can you believe you blow a guy who doesn't even look at your script? Did he say he was going to produce it if you blew him? No! That's what Hollywood is. I just thought that's how it worked. Yeah. Dude, I met him right before the Me Too stuff. Me and Jazz actually went down and I had to host something in DC

that was him and Cal Ripken. And I've got to be honest, even Jazz was like, I love this guy! He was so awesome and fun and funny. like was definitely being like gay-ish with me in front of Jasmine. But Jasmine was always like, he wasn't trying to hide anything. He was just being like, yeah, you know, like touching me and whatever. And it was fun because he was just like, the talk of the town, the talk of the party, him

and Cal Ripken were making some of the craziest, like, know, like those old man like racist jokes in public. You know, like it was just a different time, dude. It was like 2015 before Trump got in where it was like, we always, me and Jazz always think about like how that was like one of the last moments we remember where it was like, it was everyone was just being themselves. Yeah, it's not at me too when it's two guys involved. It's like fellas work it out. Yeah. Work it out. I'm bummed about this. When they kept making those Woodstock 99, they had those two documentaries came out I forget which one it was but one of them made the moment of

DMX doing my n-words at Woodstock and everybody's singing along and like going for and they're making that now like They're like look at everybody just saying the word Willie nilly not giving a shit. I go I They're like, look at everybody just saying the word, willy nilly, not giving a shit. I go, I didn't go to Woodstock, but I'm like, the energy of just the, I remember the 90s very well, that was like all of my high school and shit.

So I was like, I don't know, I thought it was a much better time, race, relations, why, because no one thought about it. I was like, everyone made jokes and whatever and all the stereotypes and everything, but our group of friends was Three black dudes to Italian. Yeah, no one ever thought about it I don't think about it at all now. It's always only thought about it seems like yeah. Yeah, which is weird

That's weird because it's ironic. They're like, oh, we're gonna fix it by thinking about it But then you're going like well, everyone's just thinking about it now No incentive for the media. Why would they get rid of racism? That's how they get supercharged views and get talking points. If you said, hey, if people came out, if CNN or whatever came out, it was like racism isn't as bad as we thought,

their numbers would plummet even more. Oh, but I mean, the thing is though, DMX wasn't, every time it was happening when he was putting the microphone on, he wasn't going like, aw. No. Aw. I can't believe they're doing it. He was like, so into them doing it.

Yeah, it was awesome. It's now the song. It's funny when you get people who know what they're, uh, what they're going to be upset about though. Cause when I went to go see a couple months back, I saw Ghostface and Ray Kwan at Terminal 5. Yeah. And Ghostface just full end words, the songs. Ray Kwan says ninjas, every song, because the audience is 80% white for a Wu-Tang show at this point. And yeah, so he just knows, like instead of getting upset

if the audience is singing it back, he just leads them in a different way. But he's always got one guy yelling the N-word for real. No doubt, no doubt there's always one guy going like, it's not how it goes. I'm about to be an authentic. Album quality or nothing. At some point, I think the black community has got to say, all right, we love the word with the A at it, we use it a lot, we're going to two words, and then they're gonna have to start slowly with the whites and start giving certain whites the ability to say the A one

and see how it goes. Legalize it. I just said. Just see how it goes. See how it goes. Saying the ER works off of it. It's saying it like a robot. But it's two words.

The ER is off the term, but let's see how the A one goes. It's like testing drone deliveries. Yeah. Just gotta say, get him out there, see how he does. Yo, it's testing the product. See how the A one goes. It's like testing drone deliveries. Yeah. This guy goes, let's get him out there. See how he does. Yo, it's testing the product. See how the whites do with it. Several key cities, we're just releasing a few out.

Yeah. We're just gonna let, yeah, we're gonna put it out. We're gonna start in Chantilly, Virginia and see what the whites do with it. We quoted you, Giannis, on something the other day that was one of my favorite conversations in Montreal about when you got there we saw each other and like that cross street right there and you were and we were both just going like yo the home was here that particular year too it was like if you walked out of the hotel you were almost surrounded

by them asking for in Montreal yeah yeah they were really real bad went out yeah I was like yo it's actually making me not want to be here, or never want to leave the hotel, how bad is it on the street? And I was like, yeah, I know, at least in New York, like, once a year, we set one on fire so they know what's up. They keep him in line. They don't corral you in groups of ten because he goes, you might have to set one on fire.

Yeah. You set one on fire, the word spreads and it creates sort of like a moat. They go, hey, just so you know these people you think you're blowing out of money, one of them might set you on fire. No, is that happening? I heard it happen to a guy. Yeah, it happened to a guy in Saint Catho. So this is part two. You're releasing these, the specials, you did part one. Was that cheaper? No, no, so it was them, they is the thing. So them was part one was that year? No, so it was them day is the thing.

So them was part one, they was the second. Nice, that's a like that. So the first one's them, the second one's they. Yeah, yeah. And it's doing real well, it's like half a million already. Doing good, yeah, in a week we got two and a half, so. Hell yeah. You're the original crowd work guy.

Oh, thank you, I mean, don't risk this problem. Here's the thing you gotta know. He's like the black rock and roll, he's like Chuck Chuck Berry, right and like all these other guys are like Elvis, right? I find it more fun. But what it came from genuinely was like not kind of like Like popping like on the road. I just couldn't get the road the road changed like in my career at some point It was like when I started going with a tell all the time He was sort of like yeah, you come with me to these clubs

You have an hour ready to go it, and then you'll start headlining. And then I'd go call these clubs and they go, do you sell any tickets? And you go, no, no one knew who I am. So they wouldn't. So I was like, I thought it was great. I mean, it was my, my job essentially was to seller every night was going there. And I was going after the best joke writers, you know, I was always after a tell pretty much and stuff. And these guys were just killing. So I just did, I just did that because also like

you do crowd work, yeah, there's a comic and we all know who I'm talking about but never changed their act very much and I would see the staff, I think we all know who you're talking about, we all do, yeah, when the staff would like see them shitting on that or rolling their eyes and mouthing the words of his joke he's closing with again. Like I was like, oh no, that's like, I just don't want them. Cause also I know they're very friendly with the same guy. They're kind of like mocking while he's on stage. And I'm like, I don't want him doing that to me. Like she told me. So I just tried to do that to like do something different at the end of the night. Cause I was going like two 30 in the morning. That was also the cellar at that point was still

being barked in. It was like one show going continuous so like when I'd be going on at 2 o'clock in the morning It wasn't people that were there since midnight that are still like stoked for it Some of them were there since 9 or you know, some people just came in right? It was like rotating constantly. So yeah, because I have people because the comedy seller now is expanded If you know comedy like to four clubs, there's a bunch of comedians there But I remember even I first got in there in like the end of 2013 and it was still, it wasn't, it was multiple shows,

but it was still like, you were still the guy, like you closed every show. Like you were just the guy who was there. The late night one closed them. And I remember Dan Soder got in a little bit before me, but before Dan Soder, you were like the, like nobody, they weren't just like letting everybody in.

It was like you guys were pretty much the same lineup. It's a process you have to go through. Yeah. You could like not get in on the process too and it was like over. Yeah. Tom McCaffrey, I remember had a rough audition, very funny guy, had a rough audition. I think I had a rough audition. I just never tried again.

Dave Smith, Dave Smith had a rough audition. Yeah. I got an audition there. Luz Gomez was in for a little bit. And she stopped. But you know, she's a lunatic. I could talk about her for hours about how awful I think she is, but she, yeah, and then the comeback around is even like when people accept it, it gets me in the way.

Like Nate, the fact that Nate comes in and does the seller, I get it. I get completely why he would do it, but I'm just like, dude, you got in here before this stuff popped. And then after a month or two, she just stopped working because she was like, yeah, it's not my thing and it's like So now you're the seller at all now when she was no, it's more time than anything else Yeah, don't have a good time to do it road every weekend and I'm broadcasting 13 hours and three days every week So you're saying she like she didn't let him in and then now these huge She's like let them well

She let him in and then was like stopped work just took the phase out like as not really catching here Yeah, and now when he comes back in town, you know, she's like letting them in. Well, she let them in and then was like, stopped, just took the phase out, like, ah, he's not really catching here. And then when he comes back in town, you know, she'll be like, oh, Nate, you're like, shut the fuck up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Front-runner. I know. It, it. It's, it's one of those things where like,

you know, the, the, the, the, from like years and years and years, like at the Comedy Cellarar is it does still have, you know, people say it's just a room and I get that, but it is still that thing where it's like I remember like when you were there and you would, I remember like, I remember one time vividly where I was up sitting at the table, I was brand new, you weren't closing the show. You were going like for some reason, I don't know why, like maybe third or fourth and I was closing the show. I was going on at like 12.55, and you were just like annihilating.

And I remember going down there and watching, and you were just doing it so chill, sitting on the stool, just ripping people apart. And I remember telling myself like, I'm just, I'm gonna bomb. I'm gonna bomb. And I went out there and was like, you know, trying to imitate my dad in Puerto Ricans,

and it was just bombing. But I remember then saying, I remember then saying to myself, oh, maybe I should do the crowd like Jay does, and then try to do that, and that bombed. And it gave me so much respect. I remember that moment, I to myself, oh, maybe I should do the crowd like Jay does and then tried to do that and that bombed And it gave me so much respect. I remember that moment I was like, oh now like just you can't just do crap I think sometimes people think that now because of how big crowd work has become or they just think oh anybody could do it It's like, you know A lot of people try to do it and a lot of people just suck at it. I think every excellent

I think all funny like comic comics that are funny can do it because I've had to give that pepsi talk so many times when I do the show where I have everybody do crowd work is like, now it's like you didn't you never. It was always Patrice advice. He gave me kind of like reworded almost. But like you were you were funny around your friends. That's why you decided to do comedy. And like you never overthought that.

You just kind of were. So it was like if you tapped into that, if you had tapped into that kind of level of comfort on stage, like it would come to you like that fast and you can kind of were. So it was like, if you tapped into that, if you had tapped into that kind of level of comfort on stage, like it would come to you like that fast and you can kind of do it the same way. I just did it so much. The cellar was such an interesting thing because especially that stage, if I went on that stage right now, it would feel so foreign to me that I'd probably have a little like, uh,

almost nerves to it and stuff. Where was the time you're talking about? I was there. I said I was never on the road right up with a tell and I like three four clubs in the country that would like headline me here and there but that was really it so I was there seven days a week almost at a point so that room was so comfortable to me oh yeah like it was just gonna go if they were like hey can you go up in three seconds like yes yeah we need me to do two hours right there yeah cuz you just know the place so much like inside and out so that was super comfortable there yeah it was a great place to develop it i guess because yeah it makes it like yeah uh not so scary

to do but it could definitely go haywire that was denver i did the specials in which like bagged phones everyone's facing forward comedy works was it yeah it's like set up to win it's the best that that this weekend again that's where they did skanks for the memories too. One of the best out there. I think comedy works Denver I think is I mean if it's the best or definitely top three. In the conversation always for best because like just that I love that American comedy company in San Diego I love. Yeah. I know some people don't like us but the owner like is divisive with people. I love that too and that's a funny thing. It's a funny conversation to have

almost is like there's so many people because Esti, as we say, Esti is a great example. I do the show with Bobby. We do the bonfire Bobby Kelly. Bobby Kelly loves Esti because Esti loves Bobby. You know what I mean? They've got this history that kind of goes. It's always like been that. And I fully get that. The lady who ran Broad Ripple Oh my god, Ruth Ruth People were like yo, she's a vicious mean terrible lady and I've seen her be vicious and mean to her own staff and stuff Something about she just likes me. So you're like she like me so I think she's great Yeah, all those weird people like that. We're all each other's angels and demons. Yeah, that's what it is And and story wars great show. I love the concept. Check out Story Wars. I said, well done it. Story Warrior, I told Lewis, man, I think like that show.

I mean, I know shit, but it just feels like that's such a repeatable format. Like obviously the best move right now is YouTube, but I could see somebody wanting to give like real money for that to put on like a network if they needed it because it's such a repeatable format, such a different kind of show. And what I love about it is being a participant on it.

It's like you forced to tell these stories that you never thought about, and then you put them in your act. Like you refine them and put them in your act, so everybody wins. Which is a very cool thing. I used to do, when I was doing just crowd work and getting lost in that,

before DC Benny used to do, I just, no pressure to be funny, just tell a story. And that was great, because then you have some long form stuff too, so you don't get too pigeonholed. Yeah, great show, Story Wars. So go check out his special right now. It's on YouTube, see him on the road, jokerson.com.

Big J Comedy. Big J Comedy.com, bigjcomedy.com. Go watch they and them. Please. Don't misgender it like I did. That was actually a great setup for it though. She, her, how dare you. Oh my, Janis.

Enjoy. All right, guys, as always, when you join patreon.com slash history, I know it's where all the fun happens, where all the exclusive bonus content happens, where our community is, you get your name read out on the podcast when you join. And if you make a funny name, you have a chance to win the PPW, the pseudo penis of the week chosen by Janis, Jesse, and myself. Okay. So right now, welcome to the Patreon, T.T.

Jerry's coffee can of piss and shit. Nice name, fun. Yeah. Can't dispatch a family. Yeah. What are you going to do? So walk down the walk. Nick, Big Mike's Hammer, Timothy Sumner, Logan Van Riper, Kemper Blundell, that FF with

both legs behind his head again. Okay, Brett Hickey, Brendan Bateman, Pope Francis from the other side. Middle name Leroy, but I'm white, it goes both ways. Brian Lynch, Brandon Spentico, Fjord Monkey. Ooh, he's a Norwegian kid. Norwegian kid, I like that. Right, Icelandic kid.

Yeah, I like that chicken finger Tyler Watts the hottest place that listens to the show probably oh the hottest piece that listens to the show probably send us a Pick yes send us a pic send us a pic Mongolian history hyenas Instagram send us a pic rusty Peewee Fuhrman Peewee Fuhrman is a chicken finger. Yeah, I'm putting them on the list. Oh, wow Peewee Furman is a chicken finger. Yeah. I'm putting them on the list. Oh wow.

Peewee Furman. Yeah. Yeah. The muzzy Nazi Adolf Alahu Akbar Gazi. Put them on the list. Okay. There we go. Back to back home runs.

Okay. Here we go. The Portuguese. Walked into white. Walked into white. Yikes. Okay. I think that one probably gets the award for the day. Yeah. Walked into one award. A screwed in piece of- That's another one. Walked into one. Yeah. Plank and pine. Gluey CK's

leaky piece. Gluey CK's leaky piece Can't disparage though. Yeah friend in arms brother. No honorary. Okay. Yeah, Brian Bauer ladder Hortene with a tiny Frank no beans Drexler strong Drexler Trisha Sims Kamala mama kitty. Mr. Sainty Nasty, Ben Ghazi, My Busy, Trifon Monterrez, Leroy Hit Me With a City Bike, now we split rent and a story. Put them on the list. Take the catapult out for the funny factor. Nathan Sealy, I like when they're autobiographical. They tell the story about you.

It's just very funny. Very funny. Yeah just very funny. Very funny. Yeah, very funny. Nathan Sealy, Graham Littlejohn, Pete, Alex Barclay, Saddam's Persian side piece 90210, Kirsten Lansing, Matthew Phelps, Amy Lewis, J. Blair, WNBA team's cut the $3 bills. Jack Jones, Jay Bone, Titus Wu, Maddie P. When will Akash admit he's just team Wu Aziz? Okay. Frisbees to the left of me, Muzzies to the right.

Here I am working on my Roman salute. Okay. Walked into one. Can't do that. Gary Laporte, Nathan Black, Jamie West, David Allen. Did it once?'t walked into one do that. Yeah, Gary LaPorte Nathan black Jamie West David Allen In the one did it would hot wheels in my ass call it the Lincoln tunnel put them on the list Let's get let's get the catapult down. Yeah, it's a probable winner right there Jacob Britt I mean, that's probably the winner right there. Yanni's Dracula or spectacular

very good I mean, that's probably the winner right there. Yanni's Dracula or Spectacular. Very good. We're gonna Drexler that. It's a good one though. Any of the day, unfortunately. What's up? Name's Fagos. Here's to be the table. Okay.

Fagos. The eunuch. Here to be the table. Oh, here to be the table. Yeah. What's up? Name's Fagos. Here to be the table.

Yeah, that was out here in the great city. Fagos, and he's for the table. Yeah, his name was Baggots here to be the table yeah that was out of the great baggots and he's for the table yeah his name was baggots yeah baggots yeah yeah that's the baggots Jimbo leave it to the frisbees to steal tunnel monkeys from the crab hey walk into one and walk in a three and one disparaging can't do that D Wang Wigowitz the white trash frisbee. Yikes. Walk into another one. Funny though. Brad Leitze. Fumey kid whose anus you can fistula, call me Louis the 14th. Dragster. Melania Trump's side piece. Humberto, Kayla Massey, Henry Quirer, Leroy's washcloth. Chicken finger. Big time chicken finger. Jonathan Stewart. Every Leroy's washcloth. Chicken finger. Chicken finger. Big time chicken finger. Jonathan Stewart. Every Leroy's got one. Yep.

Taylor Tripp, Justin K. Meyer, Matthew Mitchell, Amy Jones, Atticus Micklase, Mary Jane Dershon, Katie Kay, Trenton Henning. Gerbils in the Turd Tunnel make the squeaky peas harder than Von Braun's rocket. Get out the catapult. He's in there. Turd Tunnel.

Turd Tunnel and Lincoln Tunnel. Yeah, I mean, you know, just call this list ice cause people are getting catapult. He's in there. Wow. Yeah. I mean, Turd tunnel and Lincoln tunnels. Yeah. I mean, you know, just call this list ice cause people are getting catapulted. It's what it is. Lisa Johnson, we have your reparations. Please come back. Put her on the list. Okay. We miss you Lisa. We love you. Another Lister. I mean, this is a good list. Yeah. Gunner Noble, Kyle, Frank Rizzo's pinky ring. They call me Spider-Man, but I swing up my glue gun. Tim Staltz.

I swing up my glue gun, very funny. No Country for Old Squeaks. No. Father Bill hot glue gun to frisbee on my head, please get it off. Okay, so he used this glue to put the frisbee on his head, which is an original Father Bill, and I'm gonna direct you to that one

because of how original it is, because he jacked off on his head and then he put a frisbee on it. Yeah Yeah, candy in your pants Damien D. Ethan Coticha Jake make no mistake ladder 14's chill chili cookoff turned my hole into a burn victim Funny Drexler Benjamin Guido Bono mega Tent my house because It's Full of Fumes, and Gabe Owners, Anissa,

Cutie with a Tootie, Seb Fusseye, Anne Frank and Beans Leaky Roof and Attic Repair, Teeth Rotting So When I Do a Fart Noise It Smells Like One. Put them on the list. Interesting. I like when it says something about you. Yeah, yeah, it's very funny. Huge feet, squeak peace. Rebar 09, Emma, Manuel Barrios, woke up in the Vatican, now I'm in Leo's glue-less eunuch.

Huge piece, squeak piece, gets a chicken figure. Okay. What was the one, woke up in the Vatican? Woke up in the Vatican, now I'm Leo's glue-less eunuch. Okay. Good one. Good one. Vatican? Woke up in the Vatican now I'm Leo's glueless eunuch. Okay good one good one. Aaron told father Bill Belichick slip it in CT easy. Okay. He tried for a good one Drexler. Chicago is on top the new pope is an Italian beef monkey. Mm-hmm. Dre no blue. If it ain't right it's why the glue is always white. Okay. Mitch the

half sauce monkey half surrender monkey that unfortunately looks muzzy, La Plante. Who's a surrender monkey? French probably. French, French maybe. Calling them surrender monkeys. If he would have just said, I'm, oh god, that's good. Surrender monkey.

A surrender monkey is fun. You're just, you're getting a Drexler for that. Sean Murphy, Damon Miller, Brady Franks, Jonathan Newfield, Sarah Palin was my sexual awakening. Habis, a free jet. Damon Miller, Brady Franks, Jonathan Newfield, Sarah Palin was my sexual awakening, Habis a free jet, habeas a free jet, okay, shooting my glue gun in Morse code, Bruce Shealy, Trump is my PPW,

Chrissy D with the glue gun degree, frisbee fumigation and shower installation. Okay, you want to, that's a walked into one right now. You didn't even see, yeah, you're dead. Frisbee fumigation, yes, yeah's a walked into one right now. You didn't even see. Yeah, you're dead. Frisbee fumigation. Yes. Yeah.

Read the whole thing again slow. Frisbee fumigation and shower installation. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, not good. I get it. Curves to the left, it's what it is. Jared Lehmann, Paoko Garcia, Animaniac Canal, reading the names of the Chinese gym team is making me hungry. On the list.

On the list. Yeah. That's what it is. Yeah. It's funny. It's very funny. Jeff Walsh, Eddie Garcia, Darren Brossard, the Fuhrer of Fumes. Okay.

Okay. Close. Austin Derrick, Colton Place, Michael Carbone, Ryan Cohen, Brenda, Dominic Hagen, Cole Clark. Here for the content. Yup. Choc, Cho, Choctawah and Irish, so I scout my taters and I'm a bit thirsty. Okay. Sorry.

Rico Suave, Cameron Williams, Leroy Ceiling Cricket. I don't get it. Ceiling Cricket. Leroy Ceiling Cricket, is that a cockroach or something? Maybe. Ceiling Cricket. Let my girl stick a finger, now she can crack me open with her Leroy Pseudo Penis. Trip Birding, Dan Evans, Harley and Me, Jake, Kyle Glab,

100 Men versus 1 Chrissy D, Yas? Oh, we're really catching up. This is the whole eighth thing from like last week. Yeah. Good. NA, Diego Ramirez, Brandon D, Slick, Kelsia Gorsha, Anthony Urias, Gonad the Barbarian. Gonad the Barbarian is a great Drexler. Do FCFs moan during prostate exams? Turner, Doomshop, Scouts for the Win,

Carmelli, Victoria Richie, Nathan Baxter, Zachary Duranda, Kevin Pruden, Jordan Price, Alejandro Galve, Tristan Acevedo, Cam, YFlat of 14, I'm a failed third grade dancer, both UCF. Kjolsen, Joey H., Lawrence of Alabia. Funny. Funny. Nice.

Still farts on my dick. Hey, can't disparage family. Kevin, Owen, Bill, Jack H, Frisbee plus Leroy's equals rap. It's a good point. It's a good point. It's a good point. Equals rap. It's true. Yeah.

You get a chicken figure. That's just, it's very true. Eric, those two together. You're going to get music. Yeah. Uh, Eric Gurney, Matt Hamilton, Haley, Matt Phelps, Hyena Cackle, Jesus, Torres, Brooks, see, right. Okay.

One more page. Lassie, Mason, Rob P. Diddy's, uh, P. Diddy's, P. Diddy's lube guy, okay? ESPN Draft. Walked into one. Walked into one, yep. Jason had to name my dog Muhammad

because he loves catching Frisbees. Lad 14. That, I'm sorry, but that's going on the list. That's going on the list. I'm sorry. That's going on the list. That's a contender, too? That's a contender, I'm sorry. I know's going on the list. I'm sorry. That's going on the list. Is that a contender? That's a contender. I'm sorry.

I know it's a walk into one. We have three contenders. But that's barely a walk into one and it's just so funny. It's just so funny. It was always there and the kid found it. Yeah, yeah. Frisbee. This is too hard.

Frisbee, but don't want to be. It's a chicken finger. Dad won't talk to me. Walked into one. Walked into one. Yeah, he's doing that. Yeah. Dad won't talk to me Matt Simpson Pint butter motherfucker I I Blacked out at UCF and woke up with an eight ball and pink eye. Okay, please don't heckle my schmeckle I'll pay the extra shekel hashtag Hashtag frisky frisbee with a teeny pin.

Oh, it just would have been nice as a frisky frisbee with a teeny pin. So I'll direct so you just edit it a little bit. Trevor Santa Cruz, William Serreta, Blind Al, O-Icon, Alexander Deskness, FDR stands for fake. Okay. Laugh 14. No good.

Shit. The walked into ones are really good. Okay. No good. Shit. The walked into ones are really good. Yep. But they're also walked into ones. Call the piece a Y2K ticket, the way Dick Vaney is hanging with the Bush. Okay. General. Dick Vaney hanging with the Bush, great.

Nice. Chicken finger. General. General Heinz Gudenry and Frisbee Finder. That's a walked into one. Yep. Yep Kyle Van Wick Markinator Steven Nunez Tyler fear Andrew Hendrickson Jacob Austin Enoch's Michelle drew P balls Drew P balls chicken finger

Puerto Rican Leroy's Okay, you know why not? Roy's. Okay. Yeah. Walked in a one on Lada 14's favorite frisbee, Michael J. Martin, Gregory Palalo and Frank's ventilation installer. Way song. She ain't so good.

Joshua Christopher Davis, stiff Blanton. Oh, Bernie's veins pumping blue chew on a private jet with AOC pewing Negronies in Paris. Funny. Funny. Funny. Chicken Vigor. Jack Dapper, dude. Three beers.

I'll show you my nuts. Drugs there. Uh, that one girl, Anthony Kolosko, Jacob Mole, Yoar Bjorkeland, Lose Guns Fumes Make My Glue Gun Go Boom, Sixth Ohm Morales, Matilda Searcher, Josh Hollinshead, Joe Greenfield, Julio Jimenez, Owen Gibb, Kyle Claxton, Epstein Island Cleaning Service, The Gluey Decimal System, Mexican Morpheus, Saint 25, Dragos Christian, D Nice, Oh Nice,

and then last but not least, Kanye Wants to Fuck His Cous his cousins, habeas corpus. Drexler on that last one. Okay, we got a toughie here. We got a tough one. I love reading these lists, it's so much fun. Here we go. So, had to name my dog Mohammed

because he loves catching Frisbees. Contender. Contender, so that's still there. Reading the names of the Chinese gym team is making me hungry. Very funny, we're gonna Drexler, unfortunately, literally any other day. Unfortunately, this is the big list. Just the placement, it's just your placement.

Gerbils in the Turtunnel make the squeaky peas harder than Von Braun's Rocket? We're gonna Drexler that because the other one is funnier and I'm leaning towards it, to be honest with you. Lisa Johnson, we have your reparations, please come back. This is so good it's a little inside yeah so I'm gonna Drexler it but shout out Lisa Johnson. We miss you. From the first Reich. Teeth rotting so when I do a fart noise it smells like one. Any another one I'm just gonna Drexler it but you deserve to win. I'm just letting you know that you

do guys deserve to win. Leroy hit me with a city bike now he split rent in a store yeah. Again deserve to win but youeroy hit me with a city bike, now he's split rent in Astoria. Again, deserve to win, but you're being Drexler just because the tunnel is just too good. Pee-wee Fuhrman? Drexler. Pee-wee Herman play. The muzzy Nazi Adolf Aloha Aka Bargotzi? Very funny, you're getting Drexler.

I think we had another one, Bargotzi. Nate Bargotzi. Now last but not least, we got Hot Wheels in My Ass, Call it the Lincoln Tunnel. That's just, it's just. So it's between Hot Wheels in My Ass, Call it the Lincoln Tunnel, and Had to Name My Dog Muhammad because he loves catching Frisbees. Okay, the other one is a slight walked into one, very funny, but this is what the list is about. That type of creativity, funny, and just tight chicken finger. It's just perfect.

I'm going, listen to what he said there. He said he's got hot wheels in his ass, so call his ass to Lincoln Tunnel. It's just going. So that's the winner? That's the winner. All right, congratulations. You are the PPW hot wheels in my ass.

Call it to Lincoln Tunnel. Go to historyhyenasIsBack.com to see your name up in lights. This is the show. Tell your friends we're having fun, baby. We're having fun.