History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - The Secret Life of Da Vinci

Starting point is 00:00:00 I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass.

Starting point is 00:00:16 I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain in the ass. I'm going to be a little bit of a pain History Hyenas. I'm Yanni the Greek sitting here with Chrissy the German and I just want to start by saying, Mona Lisa, fumes or no fumes? I'm going to go fumes.

Starting point is 00:00:46 Because she has an oil painted pussy. Cause I remember a time when you sent me a picture of one of the Lion King characters and it was a female lion and you asked me if she was hotter now and that you wanted a banger. Yeah, that's Naya and that's Naya from the Lion King and I have cranked it to her multiple times as well as Ursula from the Little Mermaid And it's Eslo K. So my question today we're doing Leonardo DiCaprio. It's a wild one. Mona Lisa would you

Starting point is 00:01:13 Thousand percent I would bang Mona Lisa like Leonardo da Vinci like Yes, we're gonna tell you all about that. Yes. That's what you call a truth Peter Ginsburg. That's what you call an HHFOD That's what you call a truth painter Ginsburg that's what you call an HHFOD that's what you call an unfortunate reality of history. That's what you call a smash cookie on the floor. That's smushed and it's on the floor it's under my shoe. You can't get around certain truths of antiquity. Yeah. Certain and the truth is is that they just used to like them young. They liked them young. And they liked boys and back in Leonardo da Vinci's time, we're talking 1470s to 1530s roughly, the kid back then there was no real label for being gay.

Starting point is 00:01:52 You were just a human being and you ate whatever was on the table. If there was a girl on the table, you ate that. If there was a boy on the table, you ate that. If there was a young boy on the table, sometimes you turn the lights off and you ate that. You ate that. And it's just what it was. And that was a bit of a freer society back then where you could just kind of say, you know what?

Starting point is 00:02:10 I'm just a human being and I'll bang who I want to bang. And that's what DaVinci did. Yeah. Free as a bird. Free as a bird, which Leonardo DaVinci loved birds. You're right. Sexuality back then was like coming into a house party and whatever they put on the table, you eat.

Starting point is 00:02:25 Sometimes you shrimp cocktail. Sometimes if you're at like a low class place that you can't bring Tim Dillon to because he'll leave, there'll be Cheetos, there'll be paper plates, there'll be things that that snob from Long Island just will get upset about. But sometimes there's nice stuff like tune on a cracker and sometimes there's a 14 year old kid without a gun. Sure, but it is. Now here's the thing folks, is we are, as you can tell if you're watching this live There's nice stuff like tune on a cracker and sometimes there's a 14 year old kid without a plug. Sure, but it is.

Starting point is 00:02:45 Now here's the thing folks is we are, as you can tell if you're watching this live on youtube.com slash history, you will notice that we are in a new studio and this is probably going to be our new studio moving forward and it's cute, cute, cute. The one big note I'm going to have to have for Patty Clips who's running it all. Is only whites in here. Right. That's that. Because this kind of this table is just temporary.

Starting point is 00:03:07 The problem with a table like this is I don't have an issue with it, but I'm so close to you that you will get kissed on the lips. I've never talked to you and done a podcast episode where, I mean, the last time on our old history in the studio, the table, we were sent back. I don't know if I could be in this proximity to your lips, because make no mistake, because zins, you you with a zen in your mouth is hot.

Starting point is 00:03:28 Yes. Yeah, what I'm suspicious of, and I will be honest when I'm suspicious. The Jews. Absolutely. Honestly, Vlad at 14. All the time I'm suspicious of the Yammies. But what I'm suspicious of is you.

Starting point is 00:03:43 Cause you're Yanni the Yami. I'm Yanni the Yami. You are cause you've been screwed in lately. I am fucking screwed. I have my Yami permanently glued to my head. It's what it is. I don't even take it off the shower. No. I keep it on.

Starting point is 00:03:55 You got it on. And you have hair today, which is amazing. I have hair. Yeah, it just depends on the day. It depends on the shampoo. This is what I'm suspicious of. Is you've picked the last of the few topics and each one of these guys is bisexual. It's what it is! Yeah you keep just flying towards these guys

Starting point is 00:04:11 yeah who they really really munch at the buffet yeah yeah they take a little bit of everything yeah yeah they take a little carrots they take a little buffalo wings and they take a little boy yeah so I just want to know how you've been feeling about these topics are they making you feel a little less alone? They're making me feel a little less alone and make no mistake. I was watching and by the way, somebody suggested every time one of us says, make no mistake, they should do a shot. You should do that. Every time you do make no mistake, do a shot and then send a video to patreon.com slash history hyenas. But I was watching documentary about DaVinci, Leonardo Da Vinci fascinating with Jasmine

Starting point is 00:04:46 and there was a, right before we started watching this documentary, you know, they're talking about, you know, they eventually go on talking about how he's definitely not even bisexual, he was fully gay. He was a gay guy. He was a gay guy. Which by the way, do you think he was able to study

Starting point is 00:04:58 all that stuff and have such a big brain and be one of the most brilliant people in history because he was freed up from having to talk to people with smaller brains a lot of the people? I think so. I mean, you look at a lot of the most brilliant people in history because he was freed up from having to talk to people with smaller brains a lot of the people. I think so. I mean, you look at a lot of the brilliant people from history and there's just no women in the picture. No, most of them were gay.

Starting point is 00:05:12 Most of the geniuses of our time are gay. Do you ever think Michelangelo and Leonardo da Vinci got into a sword fight because they were there at the same time and they were two gay kids? Michelangelo also was a gay guy. He was a gay, Michelangelo was a gay guy and we'll get to him, but he was young and hot and Da Vinci, by the time Michelangelo met Da Vinci,

Starting point is 00:05:29 was just kind of old and haggard. Yeah, but he could have been into that. He could have been into what's that fetish in the gay community called? That's not bare, what is that, elder? Elder, daddy? Daddy, yeah. Daddy, zaddy?

Starting point is 00:05:39 Daddy, a zaddy or a daddy. Yes. Yeah, they're into that, or a sugar daddy. So what, I mean mean these mics are heavy. You know what you're holding that like right now? The guy from Queen, what's his name? Freddie Mercury. Yeah, you're holding it like Freddie Mercury.

Starting point is 00:05:51 Yeah. You just, you lean towards gays. It's what it is. Politically you lean right, and socially you lean gay. It's what it is. So I think that, so we're watching this documentary, and like 20 minutes before it started documentary, I had said to Jazz, you know,

Starting point is 00:06:08 I was trying to write something. I wanna fucking hang an ornament, I wanna hang an ornament off of his Christopher Reeves curl. Yeah, I just wanna hang an ornament on that for Christmas. Christmas episode, can you just hang an ornament on that? What is this phrase in the video? Talking about gay kids. Can you hear it?

Starting point is 00:06:23 He's gay, you're gay. Yeah. Cause you were? He's gay. He's gay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because you were inept. Yeah. Okay.

Starting point is 00:06:31 So that's going to be on the Patreon. That's it. So, okay. So, I mean, yeah, look at that. I mean, look at Patty Clips looking at us like we're fucking muffins behind the glass. I mean, this kid, we're looking at it like we are croissants. Yeah. He needs to, let's go to the store and get a couple of bacon, egg, and cheeses for us

Starting point is 00:06:46 and a Wagovi for him. It's what it is. So I had said, I had said before, right before we started the documentary, I had said, you know, I'm trying to write whatever, and I'm like, nothing gets done. Does anything ever get finished? I just said that, like I was frustrated, whatever.

Starting point is 00:06:57 We're watching the documentary, 45 minutes into the documentary, they were going over Leonardo da Vinci's notebooks, and he had written in Italian, whatever translation is goes nothing nothing ever gets done I can't finish anything and then Jasmine was like, isn't that weird? That's what exactly what you just said and Da Vinci's over here saying that exact thing five hundred years ago running around sculpting men. That's what you do Yeah, and I was and I was and I was like, do you think I'm gay and jazz would look to me She goes I know you are yeah, and then walked away with her little stupid ponytail. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:07:27 It's what it is, but we embrace it. What I want to say, what I'd like to do is be me, be who I want to be, and just say, if I want to go out to a bar, if I want to go to Houston and meet a guy, it's not gay. I'm just saying what I'm doing is I'm going back in time. You're a Renaissance man. I'm a Renaissance man.

Starting point is 00:07:43 I'm going, I'm going to say, you know, it's, I'd like to DaVinci with you. Yeah, you like to DaVinci. Yeah. You know what's fascinating about Leonardo DaVinci? I think today they would have put him on Adderall and said he had ADD. That kid definitely had ADHD. And it just shows you that if you don't fix a kid and you encourage a kid, that he will discover things because he didn't finish anything.

Starting point is 00:08:04 And that's what they say is one of the big symptoms of ADHD, is you start one thing and you move on to the next. This kid had a lot in common with you. Well, it's a lot of in common with me, and I love how 20 minutes into the documentary they said, and most likely he was gay, I said, for the first 20 minutes of the documentary, you told me, the documentary said,

Starting point is 00:08:18 all he used to do as a kid is sketch drapes. I was like, you're not drawing pictures of the drapes unless you're a gay, gay kid. That's all his early drawings were just pictures of drapes. If you're in the arts, you got nicked at least. A hundred percent. There's no way you didn't get nicked if you're doing comedy, if you're doing finger painting like Jesse, if you're an architect. Anything in the arts, you got at least nicked or you

Starting point is 00:08:39 got clipped. And this kid got fully clipped. He got fully clipped. Now, Jesse as well, as you said, Jesse liked to sculpt Soda Da Vinci, but Jesse would sculpt fat people. Da Vinci only sculpt ripped dudes. He only skipped because Jesse's a straight kid, so he goes for the funny, but Leonardo Da Vinci just wanted anything

Starting point is 00:08:56 that he was working on to make himself go pewing. What was also very fascinating about Leonardo Da Vinci is thank God the kid was an orphan and rejected by his mother because he's from the town of the he's not even from the Vinci is the town or province basically gay Jon Snow he's gay Jon Snow so what was beautiful about that is if he was whatever his biological father I think was some type of had some type of apprenticeship and back then if you had

Starting point is 00:09:23 to do what your father did you so he would have been you can't do the arts no matter what but because he was an orphan and let go he was free to do anything he was free to be gay free to paint pre to sculpt so you would have not had Leonardo da Vinci if the kid wasn't put up for adoption yeah now how about us right we got two dads I didn't become a guy who needed to do lithium, and you didn't become a guy who hung out at Indian casinos. Not yet. So how did that happen?

Starting point is 00:09:48 We were supposed to be doing what our dads did. I know. I don't know. Yeah. I don't know, but I will tell you one thing similar to me and my dad is I'm going back to Staten Island, and that's just like my dad did, and it's what it is, because, and make no mistake, I'm in over my head on that mortgage payment. So go to patreon.com slash history, it is.

Starting point is 00:10:07 But it's what it is, and I think that with Da Vinci, what was fascinating to me about the kid is, first of all, I want to go back in time. Take us back. Take us back. I want to take you back. So that time, 1490s, early 1500s, if you're in Florence, because if you were in Florence, Italy, in a fricking two block radius, they used to hang out at the piazzas,

Starting point is 00:10:30 the little cafe spots, you had Leonardo da Vinci, Michelangelo, and Machiavelli all sitting down in the piazzas just talking about philosophy, talking about sculptures, talking about art. I mean, that would have been cute, cute, cute to come over there and have a black and white cookie with them. That would have been really nice to be cute to come over there and have a black and white cookie with them. That would have been really nice to be a fly on the wall and just listen to those gay kids

Starting point is 00:10:49 talking about high art and culture and politics. Leonardo da Vinci, I always want to say Leonardo da Vinci, was he named after one of the Ninja Turtles? I think he was. Okay. Yeah, I think he was. And so was Rafael. Isn't that funny? The guy's like probably the biggest genius of all time and what we did is name a fucking Ninja Turtle after him.

Starting point is 00:11:06 Yeah, that's what you get. That's American culture right there. That's what it is. Nobody's taught about him in school. You're taught about him when you're playing with your other kids in the living room. Yeah, it's not great. You don't even get to discover Leonardo da Vinci unless you kind of are in the gay part of town. That's the only way. That's the only way. We would not have ever, like, do you think my friends from home or your friends from home care or even want to know about Leonardo da Vinci? No. The kids me and have ever, like, do you think my friends from home or your friends from home care or even want to know about Leonardo da Vinci? No. The kids me and Jesse grew up with, me and Jesse

Starting point is 00:11:29 became friends because we went to art museums. And I love going to art museums with Jesse because he explains everything. He knows everything. But no kid we grew up to can even, like, go into a museum without feeling like a full homosexual and thinking that there's something wrong with it. And you too, you're the same thing. You're the goodwill hunting of

Starting point is 00:11:47 Ridgway Queens. You can't go in there and let them know that, guys, I can't come out tonight, I can't watch a Jets game with you, because I got to watch this PBS documentary, this publicly funded documentary by Ken Burns. You know who Ken Burns is? They go, who is he? A backup catcher in the minor leagues for the Mets? You go, no, he's a guy who spent four decades making great documentaries that I thoroughly enjoy. Yeah, yeah, that I have to watch alone in my room. Yeah, because nobody in my family wants to watch this either because I'm a fully flamed out, fully charged fucking German nicked kid. It's what it is.

Starting point is 00:12:21 It's what it is cuz. Yeah, but it's, you got gay interest. I got gay interest. And so do I. Yeah, and I was fascinated, I was fascinated learning about DaVinci because what was amazing about him is the kid would start painting and sculpting and then just not put out that work ever because he just followed his brain and he followed his heart. He followed his heart. And a lot of you guys don't follow your heart.

Starting point is 00:12:42 No, you gotta follow your heart. Follow your heart. Follow your heart. Follow your heart. And that's what DaVinci did because what DaVinci said, he said, listen, I'm doing the work for the world. Now Patti Clips follows his stomach. Yes. So Patti Clips.

Starting point is 00:12:53 Yes. So do they do. So that's a little. For Christmas they're getting wagovi. Yeah, little wagovi. Yeah, that's what it is because at MakeNoMistakeandPatreon.com, such as Australia's, we're going to talk about them big. So that's behind the paywall.

Starting point is 00:13:05 Big pun intended. Big pun intended. And we also, by the way, got a big surprise in a couple weeks. We're doing the biggest podcast that's ever existed together. So it's gonna be fun. You're gonna wanna listen. We're doing it. Biggest podcast with the biggest host.

Starting point is 00:13:19 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The host is squee. Yeah. Yeah. If he heard it, it'd be okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, if he heard it'd be okay. Yeah, shout out Kendrick Lamar. Yeah, what's going on? Oh my god, I think we're gonna wait a couple months to ask to go on flag or two and yeah till things cool down Yeah, I don't need that cuz I don't need that. I don't need to be in the podcast or then the fucking shootout

Starting point is 00:13:42 I just don't need it in my life. I got kids Yeah to be in the podcast studio, then the fucking shootout. Yeah, I just don't need it in my life, I got kids. Yeah, make no mistake, if a shootout ever did break out, me and you were guests on Flagrant 2, make no mistake, every single one of us in that studio would be grabbing Akash and putting it up a shield. That's what we do, we say just shoot him. JK, JK. Shout out to an old school Patreon member

Starting point is 00:14:00 who if he does this name again, if he comes back again, he's getting the PPW again. What'd I was reminded by it it was the first Ducks of history I heenis his patreon name was Führer Schultz made Akasha slumdog millionaire yeah it's a ten and it's a Hall of Famer and it just deserves a mid episode shout out did he did that did he originally win the PPW on Patreon? He did, he did with that. Okay. Yeah, he's one of the hall of famers.

Starting point is 00:14:27 So, but here's the thing with the kids like that, if they make funny names like that, you always have the opportunity to change your name and then if you got talent, you got talent. Much like Leonardo da Vinci, da Vinci, you think, oh, he's only a painter. And then they find his notebooks and then they find he was making helicopters.

Starting point is 00:14:44 Dude, the kid sketched out a heart valve Like operation with water off a calf's heart he sketched that out in the 1520s 500 or 400 years before it was ever done in practice because the kid would sketch and it wasn't even about Being practice. It wasn't even about those inventions coming to life the kid just sketch in his brain Do you think he has an honest question his brain. Do you think, here's an honest question, two questions, do you think A, he would be defined as maybe being on the spectrum today and or B, was the kid an alien? Honest. The first one I know definitely he wasn't autistic because- why do you think? Here's the wild thing about him, he wasn't one of these

Starting point is 00:15:23 tortured artist types, the kid was social He was flamboyant. He was a lot of fun. And also he sounded like your brother. Yeah, he was hot Yeah, he was a good-looking guy and he was in shape. They said the kid was ripped So the kid must have been doing some jailhouse workouts because he was obsessed with anatomy He he had he got cadaver cadavers and he dissected him and he wanted to learn anatomy. Like 30 bodies he cut up himself. By the way, just let me just, sorry to cut you off, but the anatomy, the cadavers, think about back then at that time. In the middle of the summer in Italy, those bodies begin to decay within hours.

Starting point is 00:15:59 So this kid was able to cut open a body, not being a surgeon, cut open a body and then sketch it relatively accurately all in the span of a couple of hours. Here's another thing he has in common with you. That he worked with cadavers and he's Italian, so you know at some point he was probably eating a little fettuccine Alfredo and it fell inside the body. It's what, yeah.

Starting point is 00:16:16 Which is what happened to you. Which is what happened to me, you had a Dr. Futterman. Yeah. Which is what it is, and it fell inside the body, and then the kid pinned it, and it was one of the veins. Yeah. So if you don't know, yeah, if you don't remember.

Starting point is 00:16:26 Tell Jesse. Chrissy got a PhD in physical therapy, so he had to work with cadavers to learn anatomy and stuff so he could know how to put his hands on you and massage you out. And at one point he was eating fettuccine Alfredo and a noodle fell inside the body. A noodle fell inside the body and then it stayed there.

Starting point is 00:16:40 They would let us go in on the weekends, when obviously the big practical exams, you have to know the cadavers, you have to know every part of the body and this and that. So, you know, after a while you just get used to the, it's not so ghastly to you anymore, you could just deal with it. So I went in there on a Saturday with my lab partners

Starting point is 00:16:56 and we studied all night. I was eating fettuccine Alfredo over the, I didn't realize maybe I had some on my chin. It fell into the body. And then when we had the exam on Monday, they keep the lab cold, it had kind of hardened and it was like laying in the body. I forgot exactly where, somewhere around one of the veins,

Starting point is 00:17:12 it was laying in the body and it was just in there and it's what it is. Yeah, I mean, if the cadaver was an Italian kid, he would understand. Yeah. He would understand. Look, some guys were like, they love fettuccine Alfredo so much,

Starting point is 00:17:23 it's like I wanna be buried with some fettuccine Alfredo so much. It's like, I wanna be buried with some fettuccine Alfredo inside my body. Now, cuz there was a fascinating part of this, of the documentary that I watched, of my research. There was a day, like a recorded day in history, which is, this is fascinating. And this is again, you have to have, as a matter of fact, just because I am close to you and we'll be talking,

Starting point is 00:17:42 let's just let the gay out. One, two, three. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa matter of fact just because I am close to you and we'll be talking let's just let the gay out one two three ya okay we're resetting so it really works it does it really fucking works it's a breathing technique so there was a day in history I forgot the exact date and we I would be able to pull it up but we don't have a monitor in the new studio yet but make no mistake we will next week. So do a shot. So in the piazza, they're talking about the divine comedy. I think that was like Dante's Inferno, right?

Starting point is 00:18:13 Is that the time? So that was like the thing that they were all obsessed with back then, that was like the big work. So Michelangelo, I'm sorry, Machiavelli and Leonardo da Vinci are talking about this divine comedy. And this was at a point in da Vinci's life where he was in his 50s already Michelangelo is the hot young kid like you know he was the new kid in Florence everyone wanted against each other like Machiavelli was always thinking a few steps ahead. He believed his fake is on death, all that. So the original Tupac. So Machiavelli, they were talking about, Da Vinci had kind of been a little bit embarrassed

Starting point is 00:18:55 in his life at this point because the head of Florence at that time asked him to make this big bronze statue. Now that's the Medici family. The Medici family, right. So they wanted him to ask this big bronze statue. Now that's the Medici family. The Medici family, right. They wanted him to ask this big bronze statue. Da Vinci wanted to make a 70 foot horse up on Italian legs out of bronze. Oh, I think this was in France, right?

Starting point is 00:19:14 This wasn't Medici. No, no, no, this is not in France. Da Vinci only goes to France at the end of his life. Da Vinci did not leave Italy until he was 60. This was in Milan. No, this was in Milan. Okay, so it's Milan. This is Milan or Florence? No, this was Milan. Okay, so it's Milan. Milan. This is Milan or Florence?

Starting point is 00:19:26 No, it was Milan. Okay, so Milan is where he, but where this event, I'm going to tell you, happens in Florence. So in Milan then, he was designing this bronze horse and whatever, he's taking so much time to venture. He's trying to do a whole new pulley system way to do it, one of his wild inventions. It's not working. It keeps crumbling, can't do it. So eventually, this Italian film, I guess the Medici's get into a yet

Starting point is 00:19:48 another endless Italian war. And so they take the bronze from him. They basically like DaVinci stop. Like you're done. We need that bronze to make bullets to kill, you know, whatever the French or whomever. So it was a big embarrassment for the kid DaVinci around, you know, town, whatever. And then there's Machiavelli asks Da Vinci in the piazza, and this is again being recorded by someone, asks Da Vinci, hey, what do you think the meaning of the Divine Comedy is? And Machiavelli, they said he was like grabbing like his, playing with his red beard, whatever, like long red beard. And Michelangelo is scurrying across the piazza

Starting point is 00:20:26 at that time, holding all his paintbrushes, and just being a gay kid at the time, painting the Sistine, I think, coming up with the idea to paint the Sistine Chapel, that's what they said at the time, and he says, because Da Vinci didn't know that Michelangelo didn't like the kid. So Da Vinci says to Michelangelo, he goes,

Starting point is 00:20:42 Michelangelo, what do you think is the point of the Divine Comedy? And they said Michelangelo just turned to Michelangelo, he goes, Michelangelo, what do you think is the point of the Divine Comedy? And they said Michelangelo just like turned to him and said, oh, coming from you, the man who couldn't even make the bronze statue that I could do in my sleep. Whoa. And then cat fight and then ran away. And they said Da Vinci turned away,

Starting point is 00:20:58 Da Vinci turned away like in embarrassment and was like very upset by it all. And then what Machiavelli knew that these two artists didn't like each other. So what he did was, is there was a big thing in Florence happening where they would mo they would have artists, the people would pick artists to pick a mural for the wall and for whatever wall that they want to do the art on. And Machiavelli said, thinking ahead, he said, um, to he said to the commission,

Starting point is 00:21:26 he said, we should have Michelangelo, we should have Michelangelo do the commission. And they said, okay, Michelangelo will do it. And they put, he purposely said, Michelangelo should do it in this room. And it was right next to Da Vinci's studio. So Da Vinci knew that Michelangelo was there making whatever artists thing. And Da Vinci said, Michelangelo was there making whatever artist thing and Da Vinci

Starting point is 00:21:47 said fuck the both of you, I'm going to start making the Mona Lisa. Wow, is that how it happened? That's how he began to do it. Now you know when those kids were around each other and they were around other citizens, they talked different. You know, because back then there was laws against sodomy. You know, you weren't allowed to be a gay kid. So you know, although they hate each other,

Starting point is 00:22:08 and it was a real cat fight, it was a real girl fight. Do you know when they were around regular dudes, they were like, what's up, my name's Leonardo DaVenturi. But then when Leonardo and Michelangelo got together, they were like, bitch, fuck you, bitch. You think you're fucking good? I could have pinned that in my fucking sleeve. So you know when he scurried over, he was more like, I could have fucking done that.

Starting point is 00:22:27 That fucking horse that you couldn't complete. Mr. Oh my God, I have a new interest. Mr. I can't complete anything. Mr. Oh my God, I'm a scientist and not an artist. And oh my God, I don't even fucking care about my talent for art. I'm going in a history, bitch. You can't even make a helicopter, bitch.

Starting point is 00:22:43 You're trying to make a helicopter, bitch? Well bitch well it's too heavy they don't have the technology butch yeah I'm going to paint the Sistine Chapel I'm fucking gonna go make the fucking Pisa I'm fucking making the Madonna and I'm going down in fucking history bitch yeah work baby okay you want to go paint a little less supper well I'm over here sculpting David's cock. Yeah, bitch. So look at his little cock like you, bitch. That's the last supper. Ew. Yeah, and then fucking one of the Medici's came in

Starting point is 00:23:12 and they were like, yeah, man, fuck that, dude. I'm doing that. Yo, you're good. I'm good, whatever. But I think I'm better. That's all I'm saying. Then he left and he went, fuck you, bitch. Yeah, he literally said, oh, you couldn't even

Starting point is 00:23:22 make a horse schedule? He just ran away. He was like, ah. Yeah, and by the way oh you couldn't even make a horse schedule? He just ran away painting, he was like, ah! Yeah, and by the way, that whole thing of then, uh, uh, Leonardo da Vinci painted, started to get into paint-a-lisa, that is a fact today, but that's a history, I ain't a fact today, so you gotta research it. You gotta research it. Because you're on the Chow-CBD sluts, but it sounds good, and make no mistake, history is a story. You just play with the facts a little bit. You play with the facts a little bit. Because nobody really knows, okay? Nobody knows, nobody was there. I gotta slick my little bit. You play with the facts a little bit. Cause nobody really knows.

Starting point is 00:23:45 Nobody knows, nobody was there. I gotta slick my hair back. Yeah, you gotta do that Superman. Yeah. Here's the question of the day. Tell me. Did Leonardo da Vinci bang a male prostitute and get arrested for sodomy?

Starting point is 00:24:01 Survey says it did happen. It did, but he, very powerful people, got Da Vinci out. The thing is, I want to know, if this was American names, I would know them. But all these names, I don't know what they're saying. Everybody just sounds like their names is Linguini carbonara. Yeah, yeah. I don't know what their names are. Yeah, because- But that is a fact that did happen and Da Vinci could have gotten, he could have not only got arrested, he could have gotten executed for sodomy back then. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. So he got close. I mean, he was able- I mean gotten executed for sodomy back then. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:24:25 Absolutely. So he got close. I mean, he was able. I mean, I got sodomized by my gastroenterologist this week, but I only got two polyps and they were small. Because welcome to the crew, the polyps crew. Yeah, because. We're a couple of kids with polyps.

Starting point is 00:24:35 Your name is Janus Polyps. Yeah, I've had six. What are you now, three? I got, no, but since the time I'm 34, I think I'm up to six too, because. Are you up to six? Yeah. Yeah. I got to just be careful, but Dr. Nick, if you're listening right now,

Starting point is 00:24:46 they were small, they were under four millimeters, so we think we're okay. Yeah, we think we're good. But I did get clipped and I urge everyone to go get a colonoscopy. It's brutal the night before, you are basically, you know, piss, you're putting water out of your butt, like your butt's like a water car.

Starting point is 00:25:01 Yeah. But then when you get them clipped out, first of all, the propofol, is it called? Oh, yeah. It's the best. It is what killed Michael Jackson, but the kid took too much. But you feel great.

Starting point is 00:25:10 I mean, literally, I woke up in the middle of the colonoscopy. I woke up and they had the tube still in my butt. And they're like, are you OK? And I was just like, yeah. And then they probably work up on purpose because something went into your ass. I know. And you wanted to be conscious for it.

Starting point is 00:25:23 I woke up and I went, Mateo? And so I really. up on purpose because something went into your ass and you wanted to be conscious for it. I woke up and I went, Mateo? And so I... You were like, wait, because do I really have to be under for this? Because I'd like to be awake. Yeah. I said, I looked down, I said, I'm rock hard. And so the anesthesiologist hit a button with her thumb right there and I was out again.

Starting point is 00:25:41 And then I woke up in the recovery room and they were like, hey, you had a couple of polyps, we took care of them, we'll call you this week if there's any issues, but they're very small, we should see you again in five years. And honestly, cuz it's a little nerve wracking to know you got polyps in there, but it's really refreshing to know they clipped them out and if you just go every five years, you should be good.

Starting point is 00:25:59 Yeah, you've been really like, I see, I can sense that you're unsettled by it, but there's nothing to be unsettled by because you got them removed. You got them removed. But why do they keep growing back? It's just because it's hard to build a wall against polyps. You understand, it's a constant process.

Starting point is 00:26:15 You just, you and your gastroenterologist, you guys are the Department of Homeland Security against the foreign invasions, those illegal polyps. And when you take six out, six are gonna climb over the wall or under the wall to get back in and you just constantly gotta go and you gotta keep reelected Trump to get him out. It's what it is.

Starting point is 00:26:33 I said instead of clipping them, can you just throw a bunch of American flags up there? The little ones that you get at barbecues. Just put those in the polyps. Yeah, but once they're out, you're good. All good, all right. You're good, you're clean, you're good. No frills, delivers. Get groceries delivered to your door from No Frills with PC Express.

Starting point is 00:26:51 Shop online and get $15 in PC Optimum Points on your first five orders. Shop now at nofrills.ca. So there's no doubt that Leonardo da Vinci was a gay guy. And probably had polyps. He probably had polyps too. He was never with a woman. There was no doubt that Leonardo da Vinci was a gay guy. No, and probably had polyps. He probably had polyps too. No, he was never with a woman. There was no women around him. He lived with a guy for 30 years, his best friend.

Starting point is 00:27:12 So he was definitely. He was definitely. Yeah. And I don't know if we're gonna have to put that in the Patreon. But well, way short shit. Just way short shit. Yeah, just capital it. Yeah, and by the way, whoever,

Starting point is 00:27:22 I know Yannis already saw it, but just know an honorary PPW is, and you may not win because we've already seen it, but somebody wrote their name as Uncle Russell's Pussy, and that's a ten. Because it's a double entendre of cats, and it's OK. Wow. And that's a ten.

Starting point is 00:27:38 So that person's going to win. But they should. Well, but we saw, so they're going, they are the honorary winner. If we get to your name, just know Uncle Russell's Pussy at patreon.com. So if you're Australian, you deserve to win. winner. If we get your name, just know Uncle Russell's pussy at patreon.com That's just right. Nobody's ever beat that. Yeah, but we just but there's other uncle Russell ones. So they're coming. Okay, so but But the kid I forgot his actual name. See, here's the thing with our podcast is you're gonna get the basic info

Starting point is 00:27:57 But if you really want to dive deep, you're gonna have to Google it or listen to somebody else's podcast Yeah, you're gonna have to go here for that. No, No, we're the opposite of Dan Carlin's hardcore history. He gives it to you, he gives it to you straight, we give it to you gay. Yeah, that's what it is. That's the way the cookie crumbles, but let me just say- I'll tell you the kid's name.

Starting point is 00:28:14 Tell me- You're talking about the kid he lived with? Sali is what his nickname was, which meant little devil. It meant little devil because fucking, cause you know Leonardo, it's like, you're robbing from me, you're stealing from me, but fucking, I fucking love you. You're my little devil.

Starting point is 00:28:28 Little devil, but here's the thing was on the, we're gonna call this on the line. Leonardo DiCaprio was on the ice with this one. He was skating around only because the apprentice, he was the sly, whatever his real name was, was the son of an apprentice. And he had him work with, he had, Leonardo DiCaprio had done work for this

Starting point is 00:28:45 guy and allegedly Leonardo DiCaprio had- You know you're calling him DiCaprio- I meant to say Leonardo da Vinci. It's tough, it's in my head too. I have to remind myself to say da Vinci. So Leonardo da Vinci. But if Caprio said again, we're referring to da Vinci, just know it. Just know that's what we are.

Starting point is 00:29:01 Just like when there was a time when I was talking about Plato and I was calling him Pluto. And it's what it is. I also remember that John a time when I was talking about Plato and I was calling him Pluto. Yeah. And it's what it is. I also remember that John D. Rockefeller was a Catholic kid who had three heart surgeries. Yeah, which none of that is true. None of that happened. So, but, Sali, so he was the son of this apprentice

Starting point is 00:29:15 and he was only 10 years old when he went to go live with Da Vinci in Florence and supposedly, and he became what was very likely Da Vinci's lover later on in life and did stay with Da Vinci to the end of his life but the problem is is you don't know when the first kind of tap you don't know the first kind of time Da Vinci may have touched the kid Salaie we don't know what the rules were back then but make no mistake he was called Salaie little devil because he was like a 10 year old little mischief his kid that was stealing money, robbing paintings, doing all

Starting point is 00:29:45 that. And people had said in the town at that time, one of the shop owners that DaVinci went into the shop with Salaie, they said he was unbearable. This kid Salaie like he was a tough, tough kid. But now that I'm thinking about it, that's why he made it. He may have been a little confused. So that's the thing is because he may have just been fucking stroking DaVinci's paintbrush. Yeah, if you know what we mean. And his name, his name was Gian Giacomo Caprati.

Starting point is 00:30:09 Caprati. That was his real name. That was Giacomo. Oh, Giacomo. Oh, so Gian Giacomo Caprati. Who was salai. Yeah, who was definitely getting, uh, he was getting, DaVinci was, was definitely dipping his biscotti in the coffee.

Starting point is 00:30:25 It's what it is, but again, back then, don't get mad at him. Back then, that's just the way things go, okay? Yeah. Yeah. And he did live with him the whole way, and they say he was an inspiration for a lot of Leonardo Da Vinci's portraits, including maybe even the Mona Lisa, who was based on a real person, but they say also it might have had a little bit of sly in there. portraits including maybe even the Mona Lisa who was based on a real person but they say also it might have had a little bit of sly in there. Do you know what's

Starting point is 00:30:49 fascinating about the Mona Lisa is number one it's one of those paintings because what Da Vinci was what was ahead of his time is the perspectives right and Jesse back me up on this right it was he was painting in more 3d where nobody was doing that back then like when he painted a painting of the his version of the asset of the Annunciation whichever was doing that back then. Like when he painted a painting of his version of the Annunciation, which everyone was doing back then, he painted mountains and buildings in the background, which nobody did that. And with the Mona Lisa, when you look at it from those different angles, it looks as if her eyes are moving with you.

Starting point is 00:31:16 And they believe that he did, that was all on purpose because the thing is, is it's very easy to kind of look back and say, oh, this meaning of his painting in the Last Supper has a V for Virgin, and they think he's John the Baptist, but he really put Mary, the mother of God, in there, and there's all this debate and this and that. And it's like, you could be like, listen, dude, I could paint anything, and then 100 years later, I could be like, there's this meaning, that meaning.

Starting point is 00:31:39 But the thing with Da Vinci was, the kid never did anything that wasn't intentional. So if you're finding out about it all these years later, it's probably because he wanted you to find out about it, which makes me think, is the kid a fucking alien? It could be. Or had a bigger brain. I mean, they said his IQ right now, based off his drawings and his paint and his knowledge, they would roughly estimate it at like 180, 190, which would be smarter than Elon.

Starting point is 00:32:02 Yeah, because here's the thing. Most people don't know. They just know him from the Mona Lisa But Leonardo da Vinci was primarily a scientist botanist anatomist anatomist Architect yes engineer. Yes. He came up with the helicopter before the helicopter He was coming up with all types of way to use water a tank. I made a tank

Starting point is 00:32:22 He made a turtle tank and you know what the kid would do? He would draw it out and then he would leave out two or three pieces of it and people at the time would be like, oh he's not that good, but now people think he left that out because the kid did not like war. So he would draw stuff for you and let you see it, but those missing pieces, which you were not smart enough to get, he would say, now you can't build this machine because he doesn't want to be responsible for war. Yeah, and here's another thing, he was a vegetarian

Starting point is 00:32:45 which lets you know he was definitely gay. And it didn't help him. The kid died at 67. Right. So, eat meat or don't eat meat, it don't matter, it's all genetic. It's all genetic and that's the thing is, by the way, people think, oh, that was old for that time. It wasn't, it wasn't.

Starting point is 00:32:59 People were kind of regularly living to the 90s and 100s. The reason why you look at the, they say, oh, men would die at 40 back then, it was just because the infant mortality rate, there was a lot more children dying, so it brought those numbers way down. But if you passed infant, if you got out of childhood, you had a good chance of living to 70s and 80s,

Starting point is 00:33:16 because if you look at their diet, I Googled Leonardo da Vinci's diet, and what they would mostly eat is beans, a lot of green leaves and salads, and then for dessert they would have almond pudding, and they would put peas in milk, and they would eat peas in milk, almond pudding, and then whatever game they would have, if the kid didn't eat meat, then he would just eat more beans, but they would wild game that they would eat,

Starting point is 00:33:37 so no antibiotics, no high sodium in the food, and the kids just ate and had a good time and they drank wine. Yeah, I mean when you look at the average age of when people lived, you gotta consider that that average is always brought down. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's what it is. I'm just kidding. It's what it is. I'm just joking around. It was a character piece. It's something that we joke around about in the firehouse. And by the way, we got jokes like that, but then also we got other jokes that are more in favor. Like for example, Yannis Hussein, when I called him last week, he was playing with his daughter. And I said, what are you doing? He goes, I'm playing Snowstorm with my daughter. He goes under the covers and they just make believe there's a snowstorm.

Starting point is 00:34:19 I said, snowstorm is what black people call gentrification. Loud for a game. And I love to joke. There's just a bunch of whites coming into my neighborhood. It's a fucking blizzard. Yeah, the black people are looking out there saying, we got some flurries coming in. We got some flurries coming in.

Starting point is 00:34:33 And then they got to go. Yeah. I mean, the kid hated to paint. He frustrated his contemporaries. His contemporaries were like, this guy is so talented. Why doesn't he? He only completed less than 10 paintings and overall? He did under 20 paintings, but some of them were bang the Mona Lisa

Starting point is 00:34:50 He worked on for like five years or something is the Mona Lisa 13 years Jesse the fucking we got our official finger painter in the house finger Our slow finger painter he's a slow fingers energy slow finger paint slow fingers you went to finger painting school now Jesse Tell me is the Mona Lisa. Do you have a mic or no? Is the Mona Lisa the most expensive painting in the world right now? If you were going to sell paintings, if we had to sell paintings to the aliens or the Chinese, whoever wanted to take over, what is the number one most expensive painting? That's priceless. The Mona Lisa is priceless.

Starting point is 00:35:23 In fact, there was a painting that came up that they said was from Leonardo a couple years ago. And that went for $400 million to the Saudis. But it's not really a Leonardo. Oh. They're saying it's a fake. Oh. Wow. And they paid $400 million for that. Now let me ask you this, because you are very versed in this.

Starting point is 00:35:45 Skills-wise, is he like his skills? When you look at his technical skills, his painter, the anatomy, the everything, does he live up to the hype? Yes, for his time. You have to put everything into context for the time. So a painting like that right now, people are past that now. Yeah, there's tons of people who can paint like that now. But for the time, I mean, it was remarkable

Starting point is 00:36:06 because he painted in that technique called sfumato, which was like hundreds of layers of oil paint that added that translucency and that softness and that smoothness. Is that what made like Mona Lisa come alive? Yes, yes. I mean, there's just hundreds of layers of paint and each layer of paint has a little bit of pigment

Starting point is 00:36:24 and it just softened and smooths everything. Are you attracted to Mona Lisa? Because I find her attractive. You do. Yeah, well she's mysterious. Yeah. She is, yeah, because you don't know if she's a guy or a girl.

Starting point is 00:36:32 Yeah, you don't know if she's a guy or a girl, and she's also looking at you like, I know something you don't know. So the security out, like one of these protestors would never be able to throw paint on the Mona Lisa. It's behind a really thick glass, and you can't even get close to it now. And it's garbage 24-7.

Starting point is 00:36:47 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, here's the deal a lot of people don't know. Somebody stole it. Yes! Yeah. What happened was Leonardo da Vinci, right from heaven, okay, this is when time travel happens, and a lot of people don't notice in history.

Starting point is 00:36:59 Yeah. Okay, so this is what you would call a little history lesson with Sean Terry. Okay. This is the part they don't tell you about in the books. Yeah, kids, sit down. Uncle Sean Terry's about to a little history lesson with Sean Terry. Okay. This is the part they don't tell you about in the books. Yeah, kids, sit down. Uncle Sean Terry's about to give you a history lesson. Sit down, I'm gonna tell you.

Starting point is 00:37:09 Yeah. So what happened was post-hominously or pos-humanously, I don't know how they say it, but after his death, right, the kid went to heaven, right? But he went to the gay section with Chris Papas. Sure. Right, and your dog. And my dog Larry.

Starting point is 00:37:21 And your dog Larry. Yeah. Yeah, he went to the gay section, you know, over there, the kid from Queens there, Michael Jackson's there. It's a gay section having to have their own parties dog Larry. I will pass, yeah. Yeah, he went to the gay section, you know, over there, the kid from Queens there, Michael Jackson's there. It's the gay section having to have their own parties. That's what it is, yeah. So they're over there, and he says,

Starting point is 00:37:31 listen, fucking, I still am competing with Michelangelo, and everyone's talking about the piada. Is that what it's called, the piada? Everyone's talking about the fucking piada. Everyone's talking about the Sistine Chapel. I'm not going down like that. I still got a fucking competition with this batch yeah so I gotta win over fucking Michelangelo so I needed a good marketing strategy right

Starting point is 00:37:51 so what he did was he went into the future because you can do that from heaven and he called and he said we need a good marketing strategy yeah to fucking get my Mona Lisa which is one of my few paintings it's mysterious yeah it's underappreciated we need, we need a marketing plan. Yeah. I said, yo, what's up, man? He said, yo, you feel me? He said, yo, you hurt?

Starting point is 00:38:15 He said, what we gonna do, you got me? Is we gonna, I'm gonna have one of my peoples rob it and then it's gonna go nationwide. All the papers gonna pick it up around the world so everybody yeah yeah and so he go yeah man we gonna we gonna steal it and then it's gonna go around

Starting point is 00:38:37 it's gonna be the the theft around the world yeah so everyone gonna learn about the Mona Lisa but we just it's just gonna be some Italian kid who's gonna be like yo we just taking it for Italy, you know what I mean? Yeah. So we got patriotism, it's hanging in France, and we can't have the French hanging that, and then boom, he's gonna return it, and then next thing you know, it's gonna become the most famous, the famous, most famous painting in the world, son. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:39:00 And then that's how it happened. That makes sense. I'm sitting here talking to Patrick Molloney. It's all a character piece. That's Uncle... Yeah, that's what it is. And that's how it happened. It became famous because the kids stole it. And you see kids, you see if you listen to Uncle Short over here, see how you can listen to stories and feel and read and get real nice stories spoken to you at lunchtime in the library from somebody from a guy not wearing a dress. It's possible It's possible not every guy's got weird dress to read you stories. Now that was just a little segment

Starting point is 00:39:30 We like to call history with louder 14. That's all it was. It's just stories. We tell it the firehouse Yeah, that's all it that's all it is. It's got a lot of downtime. It's got a lot of downtime. Yeah. Yeah So, okay, so the the Mona Lisa, right? And then, cuz, here's the thing, he painted the Mona Lisa. A lot of this shit that he did, he didn't know that the Mona Lisa was this priceless artifact.

Starting point is 00:39:53 He painted and held it with him. He went from Florence to Rome to Milan, back to Florence to France, holding the Mona Lisa the whole time. It's not like he was working on it. He was working on little bits of it, but he was just like, oh, this is another painting. It wasn't until in France

Starting point is 00:40:06 That's why it's in the Louvre because in France it the fan where he eventually died in France that family wanted to buy his Paintings the king of France loved Da Vinci and they gave Da Vinci at the end of his life They said to him we want to pay you just paint be free be who you are If you do the work great if you don't do the work great We just obsessed with Leonardo Da Vinci and then they found the Mona Lisa and they bought it because but him to him He was like, oh, this is just another piece of shit like everything that he did He was like this sucks. I don't know why you guys want that. It was the Mona Lisa. It was the Mona Lisa Yeah, I mean he he's on record saying like he hated painting like he just was like he was you know

Starting point is 00:40:42 And people just kept commission He could have continued to just get commissions all the rich people wanted to commission and he just wasn't interested He got hired once as an architect and what city was that? Do you remember? Well, he probably Milan maybe Milan He was in Milan Florence was the big years of his life. I think right Florence was like his life. That was peak That's where you could go see where if you go to Florence I think you could see Michelangelo and Da Vinci lived like apartment buildings next to each other. Yeah, and they fucking hated each other.

Starting point is 00:41:08 Did you ever go to Florence? I've been to Florence. What do you think? And it's fascinating. Yeah? It's unbelievable. The Duomo is unbelievable. Should I go?

Starting point is 00:41:15 Yes. Florence is something you have to see. Cause you absolutely. The Duomo, and then I would go there and paint a picture and say in front of the Duomo and then cross out that D and put an H. Yes, hummo. Yeah, so he was in Milan, Rome.

Starting point is 00:41:26 At the end of his life, he died in Rome, right? France. Oh, he died in France. But he spent a little time in Rome. Yes, but very quickly, he didn't love Rome. He didn't love it. Florence and Milan, because at the time Milan, even though people say, oh, Milan is, you know,

Starting point is 00:41:38 like a very new school Italian city, a lot of people say to skip it back then, it was an ancient city, walled off city. Everyone wanted to be in Milan. Now, to give you context about Da Vinci, so many things had to go a certain way for Da Vinci to become Da Vinci. He was born, like you said, out of wedlock. Out of wedlock. His dad was, what was his dad, a bookkeeper or something?

Starting point is 00:41:59 Yeah, pretty much. Such that, and then his mom was some peasant girl. And so he didn't become an apprentice, because that's what the Italian tradition was, because he didn't carry that guy's name. His name ended up just becoming a bastard name, like you said, like Don Corleone. His name was of Da Vinci, which is a place. Then he was born into a time with the Medici family,

Starting point is 00:42:20 and also the guy that he apprenticed to. What was that guy's name? Oh, I forgot. Some Italian name, who he was obsessed with. So he wenticed to what was that guy's name? Some battalion name who he was obsessed with so he went apprentice with that guy He didn't have to go to school to do that other thing for his dad He went his dad saw that everyone saw he had a talent because he paid said go learn from this guy So then he mentored under that guy and that's where he really blossomed But also it's the context in the setting of the Renaissance which really was due to the Medici family's patronage, right?

Starting point is 00:42:47 They were just, the Medici family was all about the arts, was all about culture, and so they were just handing out money to talented people and supporting them. They paid for the Sistine Chapel, they paid Da Vinci, they commissioned all these guys, and they were all about just like high knowledge and philosophy, and so all of- They were like the Obamas. They were like the Obamas. Yeah. They were like the Obamas at the time.

Starting point is 00:43:09 It's what it is. And so everyone was enlightened. It was really an enlightened time. And that was a time, the Renaissance, it's interesting because at that time, this is why all these great artists happened, like people don't know what came first, the chicken or the egg, because they don't know if like, was it the time period that blossomed these artists, or was it coincidentally that these artists were just born with these types of brains at that time,

Starting point is 00:43:29 because at that time was one of the rare times where the regime in charge of the church at that time wasn't gonna kill you if you wanted to be a little bit, say what you want, if you wanted to paint a little outside the box, not make Jesus look like a superstar. Back before then and after then, you couldn't really be creative because they would kill you if you didn't do what they wanted.

Starting point is 00:43:50 But back then, they would allow, they let, many, many times, they let Da Vinci, they say, here's the deadline and he's two years past and they're not killing him. They're just taking it away from him. Back then, it would cut his head off. Right. Also, at that time, for whatever reason, when you wanted to express yourself, years before, you would do like some type of song, some type of poetry, you would go become a warrior. Back then, that was back then, during this time, they all got it out through painting. They told stories and

Starting point is 00:44:17 wrote books. What they felt was through their painting. So the Renaissance period was just random. Get to Toronto's main venues like Budweiser Stage and the new Roger Stadium with Go Transit. Thanks to Go Transit's special online e-ticket fairs, a $10 one-day weekend pass offers unlimited travel on any weekend day or holiday, anywhere along the Go network. And the weekday group passes offer the same weekday travel flexibility across the network, starting at $30 for two people and up to $30 for two people and up to $60 for a group of five. Buy your online Go Pass ahead of the show

Starting point is 00:44:49 at gotransit.com slash tickets. The 100 year period of time where they were just like, this is how we're gonna do it. And then of course, like anything else, the Catholic Church just forgot and then they went back to the medieval ways. I will say this, a lot of people say Prince or Michael Jackson.

Starting point is 00:45:05 I go Prince. I think he was more talented. You gotta go Michelangelo, Da Vinci. I think it's a little more complicated because they were rivals just like Prince and Michael. And Michelangelo was just a sculptor. That's the thing. So, no, he was a painter too. He did the Sistine Chapel.

Starting point is 00:45:21 Oh, painter, painter. I meant to say he was just an artist is what I meant to say. He wasn't doing the science that Da Vinci was doing. Not even close. I mean, the only person you could really compare Da Vinci to, and this is what people should get from this episode and from watching whatever documentary. Elon Musk.

Starting point is 00:45:35 Is the kid was, yeah, he was even more than that. The only person you could really compare him to is Aristotle. Just the diversity of fields that he interrogated and the inventions he was coming up with, even more than Aristotle. I think he's unprecedented and unparalleled. I think Leonardo da Vinci is mostly known from the Mona Lisa, but he was an inventor

Starting point is 00:45:55 and he was a scientist, most of all, in so many different fields, and he was self-taught. He would just go into that field, learn everything about it, and then the next thing you know, just like, because he had ADHD. He would get obsessed with like birds, learn everything about it. And then the next thing you know, he'd be just like, cause he had ADHD. He would get obsessed with like birds and then he would study birds flight. He would study, then he'd get obsessed with anatomy.

Starting point is 00:46:11 He'd study that, he'd dissect cadavers. He'd get obsessed with engineering and water power and flight. And he just went from one thing to the next cause the kid was just a born genius and you can only really compare him to Aristotle. I mean, Renaissance man comes from him. That's what the term is. He's the ultimate Renaissance man. So but

Starting point is 00:46:27 do you think a guy like Ben Franklin would be someone in America who you could compare? Just a Renaissance man but also cuz here's the thing if you want to be a Renaissance man the problem for us is we love our kids and either you can't have kids you can't love your kids because make no mistake Ben Franklin just didn't give a fuck about his kids. He didn't. He just went for years and years and years to Paris and just forgot that he had a wife and kids. But he became, and DaVinci was just a gay kid, so God kind of said, you can't have kids

Starting point is 00:46:50 because I need you to paint. I need you to do stuff. But you and I have children and we love our children, so unfortunately, if we don't wind up being the DaVinci's of comedy, it's not because of us, it's because of our kids. Yeah, I said to you, there's one thing you're leaving out of that equation of why we can't become DaVinci.

Starting point is 00:47:03 Why? We're fucking stupid. We're Franksci. Why? We're fucking stupid! We're Franks and Beats! We're fucking two Franks and Beats kids, cuz we're just not that smart. We're not that smart at all. It's what it is, cuz we're just not. Yeah, I think if we were Da Vinci's apprentices, I mean, I think he would have just hired the Medici's to hit us over the head with a shovel

Starting point is 00:47:19 and throw our bodies into the river. Yeah, cuz you could give me every book, every book about anatomy. I'd read every book. I would end as stupid as I river. Yeah, because you could give me every book, every book about anatomy. I'd read every book. I would end as stupid as I began. Yeah. I just wouldn't be able to pay attention, grok or fathom, whatever the fuck's being said in that book.

Starting point is 00:47:34 I can't do it. The only thing I could do is play with my friends. That's it. That's it. That's the only thing I could do. I'm not good at anything. Because if we were living back then, because what Da Vinci would do is he was also the first guy, they think, in history to ever paint a landscape.

Starting point is 00:47:48 He went up on a hill and painted a landscape. It was like a valley in Florence. This was in like the 1490s. He was the first one to ever sketch that, and he just sketched what he saw. So he saw the trees, he saw some animals, and if we were alive, he would just have had to sketch just two guys holding hands, skipping. Just skipping through the field, because that's what we'd be doing. And make no mistake, we'd be happy, just like Warren from Something About Mary was happy

Starting point is 00:48:13 just saying, Franks and Beans with headphones on. That's when DaVinci would look at two kids like us, that's how he would see us. Same thing with Ken Burns. If we had Ken Burns on this podcast, he would be looking at us like Warren from something about there. He would go, Frank St. Baines. He would say, I like these guys, but I don't know what they're talking about. None of their facts are correct. Nothing is nothing they said. Did they even watch the documentary? But tell us at home, are you not having fun? Are you having a good time? Go listen the real truth from Ken Burns. Let us tell you our perceived truth.

Starting point is 00:48:42 Because we're speaking to retards like us. It's what it's what it is what it is cuz yeah if anyone is not retired they're listening to Dan Carlin and we're just with a Dan Carlin for kids who just couldn't make it into the first track of public school what it is cuz we I there's nobody even the rainbow program listening to this fucking thing now we tell you stories and they sound true enough yes that's what it is is it's true enough? Like that whole story I told you about the facts of that story is Machiavelli. It is recorded in history that Machiavelli, Da Vinci and Michelangelo all did meet and hang out together in the piazza a lot

Starting point is 00:49:14 and Da Vinci and Michelangelo did not like each other and all those are and those are all true. But the little seeds of truth, I mean it sounds like a good story if this moment in history is what made Da Vinci paint the Mona Lisa. Now is it true? I don't know. Is it not true? I don't know. But the most important thing is you as the listener now know a little bit more true or false about Leonardo Da Vinci because there's nobody listening to this who knew. I know our fans. Yeah. And they only knew the Mona Lisa kinda. Yeah. They probably, a lot of them were going like Michelangelo did that, right? Yeah, they don't know. Yeah, they were going, wait, was that Van Gogh? kinda. They probably, a lot of them were going like Michelangelo did that, right? Yeah, they don't know.

Starting point is 00:49:45 Yeah, they were going, wait, was that Van Gogh? Yeah. They don't know. But now they know for sure it was Leonardo DiCaprio. So here's what you know. Here's what you know. You know that Leonardo DiCaprio did the Last Supper, which we didn't really speak about, but we can speak about it, did the Last Supper and he did the Mona Lisa and science experiments and then Michelangelo did the Sistine Chapel, not the Sixteen Chapel, the Sistine Chapel and the sculpture of David. His two big works. And he got one more, the Piazza.

Starting point is 00:50:13 And the Piazza. Right. But that's not, but the- Piazza is big. Is it big? It's big. It's like if it was the 96 Bulls, it would be Rodman. It's the Pieta.

Starting point is 00:50:23 Pieta. Yeah, see, but that's the thing. But it's not that, I feel like the Last Supper painting, the Statue of David, the Sistine Chapel, and Mona Lisa are the famous, famous ones. Well, let's rank them. In my opinion, Jesse, he knows this. So, Mona Lisa one, David two, Sistine Chapel three, you're right, and so it would be more like Ron Harper.

Starting point is 00:50:39 And the Last Supper four, and then the Pieta. It would be like Ron Harper. Am I right about that, or have we missed the painting? Or maybe John Paxson, you're right. Yeah, and then Banksy, whatever Banksy's paintings are. Yeah, whatever Banksy's doing. So is Banksy the Michelangelo, is he the Da Vinci of our time?

Starting point is 00:50:52 Banksy? He's probably the most well-known artist. Like can you name another living artist? Jesse Scatturro? Yeah, Jesse Scatturro. I can name Banksy, Jesse Scatturro. By the way, are Baby Sarkis still for sale? They could be. They could be.

Starting point is 00:51:06 Wow, yes. He sold one to a Greek kid for how much? A couple hundred dollars? A couple thousand? And by the way, we are... The prices have gone up. We are still considering if you go to patreon.com. I want to post a picture of you.

Starting point is 00:51:18 If you feel like you're fat enough, Jesse will sculpt you. And we will sell it. We will sell that. So if you feel like you got the goods to be fat enough, Jesse will sculpt you. And if you don't send someone in soon, then we're just gonna sculpt Stavros. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:51:33 Yeah! That's what it is. Yeah. Cause one thing too I wanted to add about Leonardo da Vinci is Da Vinci, there's also his famous painting of the Annunciation. Do you know what the Annunciation was? No. So it's when the angel Gabriel came down and put the baby in Mary's womb. Oh. Because they say, right, it was the immaculate conception. Right. So they,

Starting point is 00:51:56 but you know, I'm sorry, Lin. Mary? She got banged out. She got banged out? There's just no way it could happen. Yeah, Joe just banged her out. It's what it is. I'm sorry Yeah, I'm sorry. It just doesn't happen that way. It doesn't happen that way and I know she got fucked It's what it is And I and I know that I told you and you believe me multiple times because jazz and I aren't married But my jazz is Mary and the baby just got put in her cuz that's the daughter of Christ and mom believes it But I did bang her out So a good chance Mary got banged out

Starting point is 00:52:31 Ma if you listen and we got some Linzitat cookies, okay, but I gotta be honest they weren't made by a German they were made by a Greek But they are Lindsay's and mom if you listen to this episode and you're upset that you just found out that my kids weren't Call Lindsay's and Mom if you listened to this episode and you're upset that you just found out that my kids weren't enunciated like Mary, just know that we got Linzatots. But here look, I wasn't there. Maybe it did happen that way. It's possible. By the way, there's a really good movie right now on Netflix called Mary. It's a fascinating movie.

Starting point is 00:52:58 But anyway, the one thing about that painting, the Ascension. The Ascension. The Ascension. Is it the Ascension or the Enunciation? The Enunciation, right? Or is it called the Ascension. Ascension, Ascension. Is it the Ascension or the Annunciation? The Annunciation, right? Or is it called the Ascension? I don't know.

Starting point is 00:53:08 Yeah, but whatever, with the history of the Aenius, so that's what, you know, whatever. And my curl's coming out, hold on. I wanna hang an ornament off it. Okay, yeah. So what happened was, is he painted that, and he painted the angel, you know, a lot of people have done that,

Starting point is 00:53:22 but he painted this Angelus Gabriel pointing at the stomach of the womb of Mary and all that. And if you look what he would commonly do, see a lot of paintings, what would happen is if you X-ray them today, and Jesse, you know this as an artist, what the painters at the time would do is they would sketch it out first and then they would just paint their sketch. But DaVinci wouldn't do that. He never really sketched like that.

Starting point is 00:53:47 He would just paint it like as is and just go, and then if he messed up, he would include it all, whatever, but if you X-ray this painting, the essentially, if you put it under modern 3D X-ray imaging, you can see in between Angel Gabriel going like that, and Mary in the mother of God grabbing her womb, you can see he drew a face of Satan.

Starting point is 00:54:09 Whoa. He drew Satan's face in the middle of it, and it's only recognizable with X-ray technology, because at that time, he used the modern equivalent of invisible paint. He was able, it's another thing he did. He made invisible writing in the 1500s and he did mirror writing.

Starting point is 00:54:27 Do you know about his mirror writing? Yeah. We would write right to left. Yeah, because they said he was a left kid and he didn't want to smudge the paint, but you think it was a little more mysterious than that. I think it was more mysterious because I think he didn't want anyone stealing his work

Starting point is 00:54:36 and he was able to do this so freely, but he also created invisible ink. And there is a picture as clear as day of the face of Saint, which he had drawn a couple of times in his notebook, so there was no doubt about it him in between, because he wasn't that religious of a kid. So what he would do is a lot of hidden meanings in his paintings.

Starting point is 00:54:53 Like for example, he would always throw in how like Alfred Hitchcock always puts himself in his movies. Da Vinci would paint self portraits of himself at different points in his paintings. And almost every painting Da Vinci ever painted that was religious, because that's where all the money was back then, Da Vinci would paint a self-portrait of himself looking away from Christ, always. Even in the Last Supper painting, there's one character that's looking away and people say that's Da Vinci's self-portrait, but always look away from Christ.

Starting point is 00:55:20 That was Judas in the Last Supper. But Judas is looking towards Christ and he's holding the bag of money. There's one guy looking away from him. And also what he did is, because he was very calculated, there's a picture next to the one closest to Jesus off Jesus's right hand, the one closest to him. Everyone thinks it's John the Baptist.

Starting point is 00:55:42 Now John the Baptist was painted many times to be feminine looking. So Da Vinci, people just say that's John the Baptist, Now John the Baptist was painted many times to be feminine looking. So Da Vinci, people just say that's John the Baptist, but what a lot of people think because of the angle that he did is Da Vinci painted that person as Mary, Mary Magdalene, who was Jesus' wife at the time, but those gospels were thrown out,

Starting point is 00:55:58 but they believe he believed Jesus had a wife because he painted between them a perfect V to say at that time was the symbol of the womb, that Jesus and Mary Magdalene have a child and he was the only one and these paintings in these last up, they would always paint the Holy Grail, which was a cup of Jesus's blood. They were on a mission to find the Holy Grail and they said that one specifically, he did not paint the cup because he was saying the cup is Mary Magdalene.

Starting point is 00:56:23 They have had a child together, which was blasphemous to say back then, but Da Vinci put it in as that and that symbolism is why he did it. Yuck. Wow. Right? Is this true? Is this true stuff? It's meaning that you make of it, who knows, right? Who knows, but it was Satan in there?

Starting point is 00:56:41 Google it. It's hard to see, right? Cause like that was part of his thing. If you look at the rocks and all the things in the background, you can see all kinds of things. Faces. So you might be able to see Satan, but it's also... Well, no. Under X-ray tech, Google if you X-ray, X-ray or 3D image, is it the Ascension or the Annunciation? It's called the Virgin on the Rocks, but it is the thing in Catholicism that you're mentioning. So whatever it would be in Catholicism. No, no, but I don't think, but I think the Virgin on the Rocks is a separate painting. No, no, the Virgin on the Rocks is its own painting. Hold on.

Starting point is 00:57:11 Wow. Let me, let me, hold on. DaVinci. While you look it up, I'll say patreon.com slash history hyenas for our bonus episode. It's going to be wild, the bonus episode. Oh, we're going to go wild today. We're going to get a little bit into DaVinci. We're also going to talk about Jeffrey Dahmer and Milwaukee.

Starting point is 00:57:24 Yeah. Yeah, and how Y Dahme and Milwaukee. Yeah. Yeah, and Hellyani almost got eaten. Yeah, I almost got eaten up. It's what it is. And then of course, you wanna put in a funny name. The most fun part of the show from our point of view and from the fans point of view is when we read the Patreon names at the end of the show

Starting point is 00:57:37 because we die laughing. You guys are hitting a home run names and the winner will get the PPW, the Pseudo-Penis of the Week and your name will be up at historyhyenasisback.com. Yes, and we appreciate the support and we appreciate your fandom as always. As always. And then also, while I'm looking this up, go see the both of us on the road. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Tell them where you're going to be.

Starting point is 00:57:57 Yeah, tell us. Go see us on the road. I'm going to be in Bridgeport, Connecticut this weekend. You got thief. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then Austin. I will be in Austin the week after that. On the 21st there will be a special taping. I don't know what the tickets are. It always sells out at that place anyway. But I'll be there from the 20th to the 22nd in Austin. Then in January I'm in Rochester. Then you can catch me in Chicago, Boston, Philadelphia, Cleveland, Tempe, Arizona.

Starting point is 00:58:25 Just go to Yannis Papas Comedy dot com and me and Chrissy Soon will be doing live history hyenas in New York City. It's Big Apple where we don't ever want to leave. It's what it is cuz and also make no mistake, I might be down in Austin too because me and Yanni got a big surprise. Yeah, well you told them we were doing it earlier. Oh too, because me and Yanni got a big surprise. Yeah. Well, you told them we were doing it earlier. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:58:47 So you know that we're doing Rogan. Yeah. And then you could see me this weekend in Phoenix, Arizona. Stand Up Live, great club. And then December 28 to 31, Miami Improv. And then in February, we've got Cobbs Comedy Club. And we're going to come out with a theater tour, which we're announcing soon.

Starting point is 00:59:04 So the painting is called The Annunciation, Jesse. So, if you could just find Annunciation, Satan's Face, you know, Annunciation, Satan's Face, you know, 3D imaging, ancient aliens. I mean, it's a little conspiratorial. I got it here. So, here we go. The claim that Leonardo DiCaprio da Vinci's annunciation contains a hidden Satan face is one of several conspiracy theories

Starting point is 00:59:27 or speculative interpretations that have been suggested about his works. Such theories often stem from Leonardo's reputation from embedding, so you're right, symbolism and complex details in his art, but there is no historical evidence that Leonardo intentionally included a satanic figure in the annunciation. But we believe he did.

Starting point is 00:59:42 We believe he did, and is there an image of it? Because Jesse, if we could find an image of it, let's post it in the episode because it looks wild. Okay, so they're saying in the Annunciation, but we believe he did. We believe he did, and is there an image of it? Because, Jesse, if we could find an image of it, let's post it in the episode, because it looks wild. Okay, so they're saying, in the painting, Leonardo depicts the archangel Gabriel announcing the Virgin Mary that she will conceive Jesus. The work is characterized by meticulous attention to detail, including the natural landscape, the angel's wings,

Starting point is 00:59:58 and the interaction between the figures. Some theorists have suggested that certain shapes or shadows in the background, particularly in the foliage of clouds, could resemble a demonic face. See? Right? It's what it is.

Starting point is 01:00:09 So I don't know if it has anything to do with x-ray technology, but I like your version. Great. It's what it is. Yeah, I like your version. Because, I mean, even there's one, there's one, another painting that they talk about with Da Vinci where like what he would do is like there's one where he's painted the baby Jesus. He's got the baby Jesus. He's got Mary. he's painted the baby Jesus. He's got the baby Jesus, he's got Mary,

Starting point is 01:00:26 he's got the baby Jesus, and he's got Saint John the Baptist, and they're all as babies. And what they said that Saint John the Baptist, something historical significance back then would always be depicted as like the one who's gonna have to like not kill Jesus, but like take him to the gates of heaven or whatever.

Starting point is 01:00:42 And there's a painting of Mary holding John the Baptist back, you know, like as him to the gates of heaven or whatever and there's a painting of Mary holding John the Baptist back, you know, like as if say like you're not going to get my son and then Jesus just pointing at John the Baptist saying it's okay you can come get me and it's like so having this art come to life where like the mother is fully trying to protect her mortal son knowing that the baby was put. Gabriel told her your son son's gonna die, but you're doing this for humanity. So DaVinci was able to make all this happen. But at that time, DaVinci couldn't come out and say, this is what my painting means, because he could have gotten killed for that. So he would just do this thing. The kid was right up to the line. DaVinci was the definition of his paintings. The kid was on the ice. He was skating right there, because at that time, make no mistake, if they ever discovered

Starting point is 01:01:29 that this kid was putting Satan's face in there or making some blaspheme where you're not looking at Jesus, they would burn you at the stake easy and eat you like deer jerky. Yeah, it's kind of like us when we do an industry project, we can't say what we really want to say. The same way he was hired by the Medici's, he couldn't say, hey look, I'm a gay kid, I don't give a shit about this, I like my dick going in assholes. I like playing with guys, and I know that Jesus doesn't like

Starting point is 01:01:53 that, but he couldn't say that because that was the political correctness of the time. You couldn't blaspheme the church, even though the kid blasphemed the church every day with his fucking little boy toy in his crib in private. It's what it is! Yeah, I mean they were sucking each other's lollipop, they were lieutenant fucking lollipop and Sergeant Snuggles every night cuddling up and fucking poking each other and pegging each other. It's what it is, cuz, and make no mistake, we got a new member of the group, I'm Lieutenant Lollipop, your Sergeant Snuggles, and Jesse's Captain Cute.

Starting point is 01:02:17 And it is, and make no mistake, Da Vinci, cuz, make no mistake, cuz at the end of his life he had that big long beard, make no mistake, there was a couple of pieces of that beard that were a little crusty from cum. It was just some cum caught in there and it's what it is the way the cookie crumbled back then it's what it is and make No mistake if I had a long beard too I would have also had some crust in there because I would have been jerking off and making the style across Yeah, and there's just no way to know what happened in history I mean, you know every time we talk about these genius people. There's always something we don't know about they always got something else There's accusations about all these R Kelly's, R Kelly's, now Jay Z, Jay Z. So listen, there's no way to say that Leonardo

Starting point is 01:02:49 DiCaprio didn't hire guys to shit on his chest. It's what it is. If you want great art, Leonardo DiCaprio used to eat boys, Gandhi used to eat boys, and now they're saying Jay Z had a couple of young ones too. It's what it is. It's what it is. Yes, yes, yes, yes. And if you want to know the name of the guy who, he was an apprentice too, which could have mean that Leonardo DiCaprio got banged out by him. We don't know. His name was Verroccio. Verroccio. He was the famous artist. He was the most famous in Florence and he was the one who was initially painting in 3D and then Da Vinci just made it better. Yes, yes. So there's Leonardo DaVinci. He was a cute, cute kid.

Starting point is 01:03:28 He was a handsome kid. He was a flamboyant kid. He was a social kid. Yeah. He was very well liked. Yeah. He was in a competition with Michelangelo. Now, in your opinion, in the final verdict, as an artist, who do you give the nod to in that rivalry? Michelangelo or DaVci? Michelangelo. Michelangelo. Wow, you think Michelangelo was a better artist? Just cause he did more. Yeah, all right.

Starting point is 01:03:49 You know, Leonardo just didn't want to do it. He's like, I'm done painting, that's boring. Yeah, right. He was more of a scientist. He was more of a scientist. So dare I say that Michelangelo is our PPW of the week. Wow. He wins.

Starting point is 01:04:02 He wins. Over Da Vinci. Okay, so you're giving it to Big Mike. I'm giving it to Big Mike because he was also a fucking trans kid. One thing about Michelangelo too is what they said is DaVinci was very well manicured, groomed, like again could easily have a conversation, fun, flamboyant as you said. They said Michelangelo, scholars said he might have been actually the definition of somebody on the spectrum. He smelled, he never was groomed, he would throw his work into his paintings.

Starting point is 01:04:29 When he was doing the Sistine Chapel, he didn't eat, they said for two days, wouldn't take a shower, and they said was absolutely insane to be around. They said he was unbearable to be around, could not have a conversation, would scream at you, was really like out of control nuts. We should do a deep dive on Michelangelo too. We will. So you're saying he was a tough hang. He was a tough hang, but a good kid and a fun kid.

Starting point is 01:04:54 I mean, the thing is most of these brilliant, Steve Jobs was a tough hang, Elon Musk is probably a tough hang, but you're not, Michael Jordan is a tough hang, but they're great and they're brilliant. So it's something you gotta give a little. Yeah, it's just it's the yin and the yang It's the black and white cookie of it all it's what it is cuz and now we're here Go to patreon.com slash history. I enos if you want to get your name read

Starting point is 01:05:13 This is the most fun part of the show and this is where we really go wild no Cackles no edits at all at patreon.com slash history I enos of this episode and of our bonus episode we have bonus content up there We give you guys a bonus every week on top of the uncackled, unedited YouTube episode and you get a chance to get your name read. Here we go, hopefully you're healing your name read and it's a PPW. Okay, Nathan Carr, welcome to the matriarchy.

Starting point is 01:05:36 John Lowry, Adam Colgiuccio, Tommy C, then we got Mr. Don't Worry About It, then we got- I like that's a chicken figure. Okay, chicken figure. I like Mr. Don't Worry About It. All right, he likes him. Counter goes, then we got Pretzel Monkey

Starting point is 01:05:47 with Bratwurst Peace, It's What It Is. Drexler. Actually said, is weiss, is weiss. Did he? He said, it's what it is in German. Does that give him a chicken finger? Does that get him on the list? No, no, that puts, that's a very, very strong,

Starting point is 01:05:58 let's put him on the list. Okay. He was on the fence between Drexler, but he did it in German. It's weiss, is weiss. Put him on the list, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah it in German. It's Weiss. It's Weiss. Put him on the list. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:06:07 Yeah. Then we got Banco popular employee of the month, Diego the donkey Alvarez. Put him on the list. He's on the list. Well, back to back. Dylan Guevara, then we got Cousy Wuzzy, Father Bill crammed his fuzzy in my buzzy. I need help with my proctologist bills. It's great.

Starting point is 01:06:23 I'm always amazed at what they do with the Father Bill stuff. It's a Drexel coming after those two. Johnny Bans, Yvonne, and then, and by the way, I did just ask my lawyer if Father Bill, who is still alive, could sue us. And he said, no, because you're just saying Father Bill, there's many Father Bills. Right. Don't know. He goes, you never mentioned what school, what church or his last name. And also he did molest you. So if he sued you, that would be inappropriate.

Starting point is 01:06:43 It's what it is. That's what we call Mexican standoff. I mean you better not let me open my mouth. Yeah you got some things to say to him in court. It's what it is. Yeah. Troy Wingarner then we got make no mistake 23andMe confirmed I'm from Munich not Rome just like Chrissy Stolen sauce monkey Valor D. Because you said you were pretending to be Italian. That's what it is. Yeah, what do you think? So I'm putting them on the list for you.

Starting point is 01:07:09 Okay, you're on the list. Just the creativity of that. Then we got my brother Kentner is gay. Shout out, now I have AIDS. Well that means he banged his brother. You gotta put the inventiveness. Unfortunately, it's a Drexler coming after those three. But a good one.

Starting point is 01:07:21 We got the Robo Tussie got me feeling fussy. Okay, kids on Robo Tussie. Michael Rennell, Daniel Talty, Jordan Baxter-Gordon. Then we got Drippy Blippi from some Hippie Lippie. Drexler. Drexler, good. Then we got son of a blue chew glue gun. Funny, but it's a Drexler. Go to blue chew, use our promo code hihenus.

Starting point is 01:07:39 Yeah, do that. Get a discount. Then we got Michael Gibson. Then we got Phillip Sweetman, GA Head. Then we got Michael Gibson, then we got Phillip Sweetman, G.A. Head, then we got Long Skinny Potato Hog. It's a direct, good one, good one. Then we got Ben, Jason Davis, Chick-fil-atio. Chick-fil-atio. Like Chick-fil-A at Chick-fil-atio. Put them on the list.

Starting point is 01:07:58 Not bad, okay. Chicken finger that gets on the list. Kate. Okay, then we got Damn Shenanigans, then we got Wuhan Solo. Wuhan Solo, I gotta put him on the list. Yeah, it's very inventive. Creativity, I gotta put him on the list.

Starting point is 01:08:12 Sarah Straitman, Bryce Albanjomp, then we got Trudeau Makes Me Poo His Glue, okay. Father Bill's Oil Spill. Chrissy Got Chrissy. You walked into one. You walked into one. Okay, walked into one. He walked into one. Okay, walked into one. Wait, what does that one mean?

Starting point is 01:08:26 Security. Security? I think it's. Oh, okay. So we got security, yeah. So we got security, so we're walking to the back. I walked into one. Okay.

Starting point is 01:08:33 Then we got Michelle Obama's glue gun. It's a notable mention, Drexler. Okay. Then we got Thomas Seen, Shane Lynch. Then we got Is Vanitya in Krista Teacher's basement. It's a notable mention, Drexler. Then we got Thomas Seen, Shane Lynch. Then we got Iz Vanitya in Chris the Teacher's Basement. It's a Drexler, but a good one, a funny one. Then we got Brian Puff, Mackenzie Kinnick. Then we got Two White Names, Make No Mistake,

Starting point is 01:08:59 I'm a Leroy Bad Bad Bad. Well, he's just a black kid. Black kid. Then we got Fumari Ray, Not Gay, but Since He Got Paid, Seeing Tim Dillon I guess he's a black kid. Black kid. Then we got Fumari, Ray, not gay, but since he got paid, seeing Tim Dillon's Poke Bowl in a different way. Good Drexler. Okay. Cann, Derek Cronin, Andrea, Kyle Mandrelli.

Starting point is 01:09:15 Then we got the Franks and Beans, Fume Fiend. Okay. Funny. White kid with a piece, but it's tucked back a lot. Drexler. Sarah Markowitz. Then we got $3 Bill Clinton, which I think we've had before. Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah. Yanni's nose needs a restraining order on his eyes. Oh God. Yeah, put him on the list. I think that's a catapult. Okay, catapult.

Starting point is 01:09:36 Yeah. What is he saying is my eyes are so close together, my nose is asking the Lord to get involved. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah. It's funny. It's funny, yeah. Then we got Mr. PP Poo Poo. Okay, that sounds like my daughter. Yeah. Then we got Zach Bridle. Then we got VD Positive.

Starting point is 01:09:52 I guess venereal disease positive. Got it. Then we got Edmund Arshkorean, Justin Connell. Then we got Roscoe here for the content. Okay. Okay, Roscoe. Roscoe here for the content. Go straight to the back.

Starting point is 01:10:03 Robert Moran, RD, Pat Wolfe. Then we got Jesus Hitler and my daughter have Jewish moms. So we'll see Drexler Drexler nice. Yeah, Chrissy's tub aware full of cum pig and Yanni's feta cheese s locay s, okay Alex Johnson, then we got Mikey G eating a bacon egg and cheese on the BQE avoiding eye contact with a na mean who wants my money bacon egg and cheese on the BQE avoiding eye contact with a namin who wants my money. Very funny Drexler. Security, yeah. Security, yeah. Then we got P Diddy came to see me in a different way in the summer of 03. I'm sorry to hear that. Sorry. You get a Drexler just for the sympathy of what happened to you. Yeah, sorry about that. They got Brian the list here. Okay, then we got Matthew the gay Quebec

Starting point is 01:10:47 Matthew the gay Quebec because it's just what it is cuz I'm sorry victim of a bad read But it was too too muffled Matt Morosco Wade Preston David Adam Trehal Ben Walgren Jerry Joyner then we got cammy whammies Fanny is for the table cuz Okay, okay. Okay, Frankie Mars okay. Frankie Mars, Antonio Chavez, then we got Yanni Spank Me While We Roleplayed Wicked. Okay. Okay.

Starting point is 01:11:11 Paul Hampson, then we got Greasy Tuggles for the Cuzzies, then we got Glue on My Hepostene, Three Father Bills for the table, Nathan Frost, then we got Chrissy Cackles, aka Father Bill for the Table from Lakeside Maple. Good rhymes, Ken. Good, like it. Cuz Make No Mistakes since 98.

Starting point is 01:11:29 Hezel, Cuckhart Toll, like Eckhart Cuckhart Toll. I get it. Just the creativity, put them on the list. Okay. Yeah, I love it. Bailey Hulk, Andrew Gutierrez, then we got Chrissy Copeland, okay, walked into one. Walked into one, security, security, police to the back. Yeah, then we got $3 bill, cause make no miscarriage.

Starting point is 01:11:50 Put them on the list. Okay, yeah. Put them on the list. Contender, okay. Gabe Casalla, Brandon Cartwright, Irish Patch, then we got Alexander conquered my glue gun. Then we got every time I choke, I David Carrotine myself. Yeah, Drexler. Nate Ford, Matt Boo, then we got make no mistake, my, I David Carradine Myself. Yeah. Drexler.

Starting point is 01:12:05 Nate Ford, Matt Boo. Then we got Make No Mistake, My Brain is Fried, Franks and Beans. That Man, Alan, Zach Stahls. Then we got Mikey, Make No Mistake, You Better Bring Back Venatier, I'll Come See You in a Diddy Way. Chrissy Boyhole for the table.

Starting point is 01:12:19 Come See You in a Diddy Way. Is funny. Is great. You gotta put them on the list. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Come See You in a Diddy Way. This group is like almost planned to be inventive. Yeah, yeah. It's really, It's great. You gotta put them on the list. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I'm seeing it anyway. This group is like almost planned to be inventive.

Starting point is 01:12:26 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really, yeah. Yeah, then we got Chrissy Boyhole for the table. Okay. Dylan Edward B. Dogmeat, Travis William, Andrew. Then we got I found Chrissy D's used love sack at my home, not mean. Yeah, I remember the love sack.

Starting point is 01:12:40 There it is. Then we got Mian Fumer Sauerkraut for the table. Milad Ebedat, Tony. Then we got Beating Fumer, Sour Crowd for the Table. Milad Ebedat, Tony. Then we got Beating Barbers Bush at Martha's Vineyard. Okay, Drexler, Drexler. Mexican Cousy Wuzzy, Kippy Longstocking, Zilla 76, Alexander Wolsky, Donnie T's Homosexual Catapult. Good try.

Starting point is 01:13:01 Fumar Wars, The Dempire Strikes Back. Okay. Johnny Two Shoes, Ben Richardson, Girth Brooks,, The Dempire Strikes Back. Okay. Johnny Two Shoes, Ben Richardson, Girth Brooks, Chilla, it's a character piece. I mean Girth Brooks. Girth Brooks. Put him on the list. Okay, he's on the list. Girth Brooks.

Starting point is 01:13:14 Girth Brooks is great. Chicken Figure 2. Then we got Anthony Johnson, Ben Carlisle, Uncle Beaner Weiner with a Muzzy Fuzzy Poop Shoot. Okay. If Yannis is Dick, you better pop ass. Okay. Okay. Christopher Smith, Greg Lubdanis, Mitchell Hardin, Mein Führer, Donnie T. Wait, wait, wait. What was the Greg, the Greg Lubanis? Greg Lubanis. It's probably the winner. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:13:36 It's probably the winner. Yeah, that's probably the winner. Yeah. That's a contender right now. Holy shit. We'll keep going but that one's big. Oh, I see one down here that also could be a contender. Mind fear a Donnie T, but want to get dittied by AOC. Then we got Tyler the Matzo Monkey with the fickle Jewish Pickle Nicholas. This great put, it's uh, put him on the list, but he's going to be Drexler, but it's great because I don't know if anyone's beating Greg Lube Danis. Yeah. $3 to make me holler.

Starting point is 01:14:04 Butternut Biscuit Boy spanked my spanakopita. Chicken figure. Okay, spanked my spanakopita till I shoot feta out of my pita piece. Drexler. Donnie T's got a nice piece, don't put me in a camp, please. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha on any other day. Matt McCullen, Ryan W, Lil' Chrissy is stealing Yanni's clonies on the low, cause make no mistake, times are harder than Tony Hinchcliffe vest shopping.

Starting point is 01:14:29 On the list, yeah, funny. Spiro Xenophonotos, David, Blake Owens, then we got Yanni's eyes are closer than the Menendez brothers. Drexler, really good though. Kamali Walli, please wallow me. Rear. Walked into one security.

Starting point is 01:14:53 Walked into one security. Then we got Chrissy, make no mistake, Yanni tucks it back, but Chrissy is still shooting glue on his love sack Trump 2024. Dr. Fumar Johnson, Chrissy's wart on his glue gun, Wyatt Goble, then we got Wayo C and Sandra D, 2030-33, okay? Then we got Pookie Johnson, then we got my girl's Guatemalan, so it's close enough. All right. Okay.

Starting point is 01:15:19 Alex Baker, Justin Tansky, then we got Inside Out, nine to 30 years old and newly Republican, okay? Welcome to the Republican Party. Not for me, I'm just saying. Yeah, Big P, Cole Anderson, then we got Gary, the self-hating German Jew. Wow, that kid's in a pickle. Yeah, Andrew Cleary, Rami, Veneti is glue gun.

Starting point is 01:15:39 Steve Rogers, then we got Scrooge and Potato Monkey, who did the right thing and moved to Florida because Jersey won fully charged Weishan C and Trump 2028 kids got some opinions. Yes, Jonathan Pier Antonio Joseph alternate Holly Jake Then we got snow monkey with the little fumes and no alibi for January 6 Let's do one more page, but we think yeah we got we I, we. I mean, I just don't see anyone beating Greg. Well, let's just see if there's anything in here. Edwin Dante's Gorehammer, Maj Awad,

Starting point is 01:16:10 Chrissy Spunky and the Suzuki Monkey. Good one, chicken finger. Like that, Jesus Rentaria, Robert McMahon, Elrond Cupboard. Good one, good one, it's a Drexler, unfortunately. Peter, AKA Father Bill's favorite altar boy. Nicholas Roberts, then we got just a cucked Cousy whose ex was a muzzy, so I'm Kamala in the Mochala and Trump in my hump, it's what it is.

Starting point is 01:16:32 It's okay, yeah. Okay, my island is long but my penis isn't. Okay. Yeah. Funny. Frank's Beans Gives Me Fumes, Avant Garde, Avant Garde, Abdulie Elmi, Phil, Eddie moving the veggies to eat Les

Starting point is 01:16:46 Key's cookies, Matthew Commonist, Jefferell, Cam Leslie, Dolly Walkbar, Trent Reznor's high school Trump- Wait, Dolly Walkbar's good. Dolly Walkbar? Chicken Figures, Dolly Walkbar's good. Okay, Nick Biederman, Vlad Poudis, Devin Costa, 2024, Hacksaw Jim, how you doing? Todd Ingram. Doctor, gun in my mouth at my corporate job.

Starting point is 01:17:09 Chicken figure. Then we got Chrissy Menendez, 69. Sean Goldman. Then we got Lata14's HR department. Like that. Yeah, Matt Campbell. Father Bill licked my ear and called me cute. Jerry Pangle.

Starting point is 01:17:23 Then we got From the River to the Sea. Yanni's got a Shut Up Chrissy, okay? Okay. Venir the Butt Smear, DS, then we got the best baby bunny in the whole wide baby bunny world, okay? Okay. Yanni's Gooch is the Belly of the Dragon. Okay. Jazz's Beard. Walked into one. Theo Saves, Fumari Stick Up, CRS1. Andrew Mama. Ken Faye. Cole Murphy. Big Daddy from Cincinnati. Kristen Avelius. Wait, I like Big Daddy from Cincinnati.

Starting point is 01:17:51 You like Big Daddy from Cincinnati? Yeah. Just give him a good, strong chicken finger. And it's actually Big Dick Daddy from Cincinnati. Oh, Big Dick Daddy from Cincinnati. Sorry about that. I like it. Drexler and a chicken finger. Then we got Peter McLeod. Then we got Red Coat Cousy. Got no problem with the Muzzies, it's a character piece. Then we got Snorting Cussie Wuzzy Sizzle Pills with $3 bills. Then we got Christian Alvarez, and then we got Puz E Juice. Puz E Juice?

Starting point is 01:18:14 Puz E Juice. Okay. Okay. Should we keep going or you think? No, I think that's good, because I wanna be unfair to the other people. Okay, so here we go. For me, it's a clear winner.

Starting point is 01:18:24 But you wanna give everyone a notable mention? Let's just people. Okay, so here we go. For me, it's a clear winner. But you want to give everyone a notable mention. Let's just give the notable mentions. Here we go. Thank you guys for going on patreon.com slash history. But we got Pretzel Monkey with brought worst piece is feist is feist. Great, great Drexler, unfortunately. Banko popular employee of the month,

Starting point is 01:18:37 Diego the donkey Alvarez. On any other day. Okay. $3 bill cause make no miscarriage. On any other day, literally. He would,, because make no miscarriage. On any other day, literally. Yeah. Of the three, I would give it to him. Mikey, make no mistake, you better bring Venetia back or I'll come see you in a ditty way.

Starting point is 01:18:53 Another great one. Drexler. Gerth Brooks. Gerth Brooks, great. Drexler. Chica Felaccio, amazing. Wu Han Solo, both Drexler, both amazing. Make no mistake, 23andMe confirmed I'm from Munich, not Rome, just like Chrissy's stolen sauce monkey,

Starting point is 01:19:09 Valor Day. Yeah, on any other day, on any other day. Yanni's nose needs a restraining order on his eyes. I mean, I'm sorry, you got Drexler'd. Snow monkey with a little fumes and no alibi for January 6th. The funny of that, on any other day, Drexler. Lil' Chrissy is stealing Yanni's clonies on the low

Starting point is 01:19:27 cause make no mistake, cause times are harder than Tony Hinchcliffe vest shopping. On any other day. Donny T's got a nice piece, don't put me in a camp please. Great, funny factor, unfortunately Drexler. Tyler, the matzo monkey with the fickle Jewish pickle, Nichols. Amazing, with the Nichols at the end, it's amazing, it's going Drexler going directly to it, unfortunately.

Starting point is 01:19:45 Last but not least, Greg Lubdanis. Greg Lubdanis is the winner, in my opinion. You're the winner. If you call it, that's what it is. Jesse's saying yes, I'm saying yes. PPW, go to historyanniesisback.com to see Greg Lubdanis. You are this week's PPW.

Starting point is 01:19:58 Let me just explain. It was so good that you almost missed it because the rhyme is just like Luganis. Yep. So that's how good it was. My brain didn't register it. It didn't even register it. missed it because the rhyme is just like Luganus. Yep. So that's how good it was. My brain didn't register it. It didn't even register it. But it's what it is.

Starting point is 01:20:09 Greg lubed Anus. There it is. And he was a gay kid. A gay kid like DaVinci who our episode was about. And he's got AIDS. He does have AIDS. Which just wasn't around at DaVinci's time, but make no mistake, he would have gotten it too.

Starting point is 01:20:19 He wouldn't have. Way some C-8.

History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - The Secret Life of Da Vinci

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