History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - The Unknown Dark Influence of Martin Luther | History Hyenas

Episode Date: August 6, 2026

Martin Luther didn't just challenge the Catholic Church—he helped change the course of Western civilization. This week on **History Hyenas**, the boys dive into the wild story of the monk who took on the most powerful institution in Europe. From the infamous **95 Theses** and the sale of indulgences to the printing press, peasant revolts, and the birth of Protestantism, Yannis and Chris break down how one man sparked a revolution that reshaped religion, politics, and culture forever. But Luther's legacy isn't all heroic. The Hyenas also tackle the darker side of his story, including his vicious antisemitic writings later in life, how they influenced centuries of anti-Jewish thought, and why his work remains both revolutionary and deeply controversial. Was Luther a hero, a troublemaker, or both? History gets the Hyenas treatment: hilarious, chaotic, and surprisingly educational. 👍 Like, subscribe, and leave a comment with the historical figure you want us to cover next! #HistoryHyenas #MartinLuther #ProtestantReformation #HistoryPodcast #95Theses #EuropeanHistory #Religion #ComedyPodcast Support our sponsors: To explore coverage, visit https://www.aspcapetinsurance.com/HYENAS https://zocdoc.com/HYENAS Right now, when you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third for FREE with promo code HYENAS. Upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to https://quince.com/HYENAS for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas/ Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit.ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0 Hyenas Merch!!! https://store.historyhyenaspod.com Follow us Cuz! 🙆🏻‍♂️ Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ 🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ 🐕More Hyenas Website: www.historyhyenasisback.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/historyhyenas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HistoryHyenas Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/historyhyenaspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Boys and girls and maybes, you can come see me, August 21st, 22nd Empire Comedy Club, Portland, Maine, Chris D-Comedy.com for Tickey's. More dates coming soon. Go check them out on the website. Cute little club, and it's good you go in there during this weather. I was there in February. No, Bueno. No, Bueno. I'll tell you that right now. But I tell you, it is a liberal city.

It is very, very progressive. But then you also notice that it's one of the whitest places you ever see. Yeah, and that's interesting. Good lobster rolls. Really good lobster rolls. So have a good time out there. See me in Philadelphia, August 14th and 15th. And at Comedy Mothership in Austin, August 21st to the 23rd.

Tickets, Janus Pappas Comedy.com. Patreon.com slash history aeanus. This episode about Martin Luther is a wild one. You're going to learn some facts you didn't quite know about the father of the Protestant Reformation. Yeah. What's up everybody? Welcome to another episode of History Hyenas. I'm Chris DiStefano, aka. Chrissy The Cutie. With me as always is Yannas Pappas, aka Yanni Pistrami. We are going to talk to you today about Martin Luther, not Martin Luther King, although I did do the research on Martin Luther King, so I have some things to say about him. And I just want to quickly say, thank you so much to all the fans supporting us over at patreon.com slash history hyenas. And right here on YouTube, we've had the biggest month ever in History Hyenas. is history for the month of July,

and it's all because of you, the fan, so we just want to say thank you, thank you, thank you so much. Keep supporting us, keep telling your friends, we're only getting bigger baby like Yanni's prostate. Like we do, when we give you a nice blue chute. Yeah. That's what they probably like more than the actual read. Yeah, it's just nice.

They want it organic. Organic. Make it organic. Can you, can the hosts give us the personal testimony? Just don't say blue chew is a tablet. Yeah, just don't say that it's a, you know, that it's an actual active ingredient of fucking boner pills.

Shut up. Blue juice. Stick it in your ass, sticking in your pussy. It makes rock fucking cock hard. Listen, they're not listed to this part. Let's just be honest with you. Patreon.com slash history a is you don't gonna deal with any of that. You don't gonna deal with any of that. You don't get to do it with any of that. It's a lot of fun. And cause you first of all, you said today,

went on the car ride, you said, do you want to do an episode on Martin Luther? And I said, yeah. And then I yelled a slur. And you said, No, not that guy. I said not that guy. Yeah, but you didn't do that. I was kidding around. But Marluta, who cussed.

But you did yell, sir, but you yelled it at me, but you didn't call me the slur that you thought that people think when you brought me. You called me one that started with Neff. It's just what it is. Now, here's the interesting, cute thing about Martin Luther, because of course I've heard of him, of course we're going to learn a lot about him. But the reason why I really like Martin Luther is you know why. What's the big reason why I really, because he looks like Jesse Skitturo after he put on a few pounds.

He does look like, when we were researching this, I looked at him and I said, is that my friend Jesse Skittor? He does look like a fat, fat, fat, Jesus, Skittor. But he's from my homeland, Deutschland, Germany. He's from Tewishland. He's from Deutsche. He was a German monk. Yeah, the kid was a German monk in the 1500s.

Yeah, I mean, you got to give German monks credit because, like, you come from a culture that's, like, naturally diminutive. Yeah. It's probably really easy to be a monk. But when you come from a Viking German background, they ask you to be quiet. be nice, that's got to be tough. Gotta be tough. Because a guy like you would walk around the monastery and just go how can I sell this place?

Yeah, and give me a fucking lizard tart! That's what I want and when they told me to be quiet, I would fart. Yeah, exactly. Now, Cus, let me ask you this. What I always like to, I like to get inside your little onion egg. You can't fit there because it's too small.

Because I like to just get in there. Because I want to ask you, because is we're, because you call me sometimes out of nowhere and you are pumped. Of course we dealt with the shrouded Turin for months and months and months and we did talk about it a little bit. We are not done.

We did talk a little bit about it on Patreon but make absolutely no mistake. I have been in touch with Janice's family and Janice's physicians and we aren't going to start pumping Lexa Pro through his air conditioner events. So little by little the shroud of Turin will fade away. Just stay with us.

Bear with us because we're going to get through the shroud of Turin summer. Because you're going to go to hell if you keep trying to fucking bat it away. you're going to go to hell. But let me, but let me ask you this, Connie.

Yeah. I want to know where did you get peowing for Martin Luther? Because you came in hot the other day. Yeah. So where did it happen? So Martin Luther is interesting because with our sense humor, I didn't know, I didn't know how virulently,

is that the right word? Sure. Virulently. Yep. Anti-Semitic he was. It's kind of when you learn about Henry Ford, You're like, oh, this is a cool car. And see, that's interesting,

because that's the only thing I knew about him. Oh, Henry Ford? No, about Martin Luther, Kate and the Jews. That's weird. That's what was spoken about at my home. Because there was a high school in my, in Massford,

not far from me, was Martin Luther High School. Yeah. And I remember I used to go to summer school there, and I used to go to basketball camp there, and I was spoken about Martin Luther, too. They told me about some of his, what my family considered good ideas. Here's one thing.

Here's one thing I'd like to say, since we take a peek at his, We more take a peek. We take a few. Listen. Listen, okay? We live in the AI age. If you want to learn something, go look it up.

You're here for the fun of us learning about topics while we learn it. Yeah, it's not, yeah. Exactly. Exactly. We're going to interpret it the way we're going to interpret it. So just enjoy it. And what I think is really funny is I think we need to make an addendum to the old expression, the things that are guaranteed is death and taxes, right?

Is that what it is? Death and taxes, right? And you know, Charles Jump, Charles Barkley said, death taxes my jump shot, which was funny. I think there's three things I've noticed throughout history that are guaranteed. Yeah. Death, taxes, and the Jews will not convert. That's no matter what you want, no matter what you see, no matter how much you think they're

wrong, the Jews are sticking to it. Yeah. So just let it be and figure out a way to work around the Jews. Yeah. Because the Jews are love being Jewish as much as... Yeah, it's just... what it is Jesus' teachings. He had three teaching. He said, love thy neighbor.

Treat your neighbor as if you want yourself to be treated and work around the Jew. You gotta work around them. Work around the Jew is just what he was saying two thousand years ago. He was saying because the reason why Martin Luther was so mad at

to Jews, because at first he started, this was Well, let's go over. Let's talk about who was Martin Luther? You know, he was born in, he was born in Germany. He was born in Germany. Okay. Okay. Jesse, can we get what year the kid was born? And, like, just, I want to just do a little...

He was a little... Back around with Martin Luther. You know, what was his life like? Where did he grow up? Like, what do you know about the history of Martin Luther? He was a kid. He was a German monk. He was a German monk.

Right. Who started realizing, like, I don't like the Catholic Church. I don't like their hierarchy. I don't like their thing. I want everybody to experience the gospel. He was raised Catholic, though. He was, yeah, he came up as a monk. As a Catholic monk.

Yeah, that's what was cooking at the time. He was born in 14th. In 1883, he was a theologian and a German monk whose protest against church corruption launched the Protestant Reformation. So if you are Protestant out there, Martin Luther is your main guy. He's your guy. He's your founder. He started to Protestants.

You're either in the tradition of Martin Luther or Calvin, John Calvin, who also had a little bit of a problem with certain people. Yeah. But wait, so was John Calvin and Martin Luther are both two different sects of Protestants? Yeah, yeah. You got your Presbyterians who are John Calvin. You got your Puritans that came to America. They were Calvinist.

They're big in Scotland. Got it. They're big in those parts of Germany. And then you got your Martin, you got Lutheran, the Lutheran church. Right. So there's a lot of different sex in Protestant. There's a different sex. Yeah.

There's not different sex. Where do the Protestants live? I've never met a Protestant. I only know Catholics. Do you know any Protestants? The Protestants. Yeah, there's tons of Protestants. But where are they?

Who are they? Are they, well, are they wasps? Are Protestants white? Anglo-Sex? Protestant. So who are the Protestants that like angles? Like who's a Protestant that we would know? Do we know of any of our friend Protestants? I'm sure we got to know some Protestants. Because when somebody says they're not Catholic, they're Christian, they might be a Protestant. They might be a Protestant. You might be a prodig. You might be dealing with, you may have a Protestant on your hands.

If you're just Christian, but you're not. Or you could. Or you could. Yes. It's all the Protestants down there. There's, yeah. And you might have, but you also might have on your hands a dirty Greek. Right. Or Orthodox. You might have an Orthodox. Or a Russian. We're like the Swarthe's. You might have the Swarthis. You got the pale snow monkey waspy, straight up, puritanical.

Protestants that look like you, but they don't have to get touched and all that stuff. Yeah. It's what like I always thought like an Orthodox Christian. Swarthies. It's the same thing as Catholics, except when you go in the church, you sit on the floor. That's right. That's just what it was. Just sit on the floor.

Yeah. Just a little different. We sit on the floor. Just Russians. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just gaudy, you know, altar furniture, and you sit on the floor. Yeah, we like candles. We just, we're moving around with candles and gold robes.

Yeah. Our bishops still look like monks. Like, yeah, it's not, you, Protestants is like, this is how you know you're a Protestant church. You walk in, there's like an art deco cross. There's like an art deco cross. There's like stained glass, no icons. And then the church ceremony starts. Everyone's in khakis.

Everyone's kind of dressed like you, khakis. Yeah. Right. Selling time shares. And then the preacher comes out, the preacher. And the preacher, her name is John. Right.

Right. And then you go, Hi, welcome to this non-binary, all accepting, all-inclusive Presbyterian church. Oh, those are those people. They're the only ones that let that fly. Right.

They let that fly. So like the Hill songs, like the cool pastor, those are Presbyterians. Those are, yeah, you got to give guys wearing like, If the guy's wearing like, you know. I think Hill songs.

What is Hill song? Yeah. If the guy's talking to Justin Bieber about Jesus, that guy's Presbyterian. That's a Presbyterian. Okay. So let's go. Okay. So let's go back.

So Martin Luther, this is Protestant. Now, this isn't necessarily Catholicism's rival. This is just another sect of Christianity. They're kind of on the same team. They grew out of Catholicism as a revolt against Catholicism. What is the main fundamental differences between Protestant and Catholic? We don't need the Pope. we don't need no water

Met the motherfucker burn They don't need the Pope They don't need no priest They don't need no priest They don't need no confession They don't need nothing He is Do they go to church on Sundays

They go to church on Sundays Do they love their mothers They love their mothers All right by me His main He had a few famous quotes Right So but one of them was just like

The priest or something Like every person's a priest Kind of thing More Luther said that Basically he was saying All you need is the gospel I need these people to read the gospel for themselves. And then the church authority is Kapuski.

So here we go. The main difference between Protestants and Catholics, church authority, the role of the Pope, and how people receive salvation. So what does that mean? Catholics say that salvation comes to faith, combined with good works and participation in the sacraments. Protestants emphasize solafide faith alone,

believing that salvation is a free gift from God, received through personal faith, not by human works. So I will say that I'm acting more like a Protestant than Catholic, Because I have not been going to church And I have not been doing good works But I do have faith Because I had faith The Knicks were going to win

And they did it Yeah, so you know I think with Protestants You can slide a little bit more Jesus a little more lenient Yeah A little more lenient It's like you know

There's no dress code Right You can come in in tackies And the preacher can be trans Yeah like like jazz grew up Like I guess Pentecostal So I don't know which one that one is That's a pride

They're all Protestant sex So she Like because I get almost like sick to my stomach over the fact that my daughter was baptized, both our daughters are baptized, but now my older daughter doesn't want to go to CCD. So she might not go to, she might not make confession.

She might not make, uh, uh, the sac, uh, yeah, the sac, uh, she was baptized.

She made communion, but you don't even remember the journal. I know, the church. I, it's crazy. You're burning in hellfire right now. She's leaving insane.

Sin. Yeah. She might not make, she might not make, uh, confess. Not confession. What am I trying to say?

Confirmation. Confirmation. I'm not a Catholic and I know that. She might not make a confirmation and it really like makes me upset to the point where like I didn't even remember the word. But jazz like is like, what do you? She's like, that's your mother and your upbringing. She's like, what is the point? Like who cares if she makes that or not?

Why does that matter? And I'm like, because it's the Catholic way. She's like, but shouldn't we just have her have faith and be spiritual? You guys are having this disagreement in your home. In my home. You're having a Catholic first president. This is sort of what happened in Ireland. So when are you going to start hitting each other?

That's what is pretty soon. Well, she already hits me. So Catholics, seven sacraments and all that. Confirmation, Eucharist, penance, anointing the sick, holy warriors, matrimony. They pray to Mary and the saints. Protestants recognize only two sacraments, baptism and communion.

So in the Protestant faith, my daughter's already good. She already did. She did baptism and she made her holy communion. All you got to do is have faith and do good stuff. They pray to God alone and not. the saints. Yeah, you just got to, you got to pray the God. See, I got St. Christopher, which got a bunch of intubia. He's a patron saint, a traffic. You got what we call a bureaucracy going on. You're a little bloated. You're more of a communist religion. Catholic keeps a little bit, you

understand why it's a little anxiety. We get a lot on our plate. And we're having to do all this juggle, all these sacrams, do all this wild trying to not get. It's a real game of frogger out there. It's just what it is. Yeah, you got to avoid a lot of dicks. Yeah, yeah, no, it's a bloated bureaucracy because it's like the Catholic Church is like the DMV. Right. Yeah, there's Just a lot of workers. Okay, so that's very interesting. This is very eye-opening for me to kind of see that there's a religion out there where you could still be Christian.

You could still have the same values, but it's just less pressure. It feels like being a Protestant is less pressure. Yeah, because what happened is we had Orthodox. Everything started is Orthodox. Okay. Right. Then Rome was like, hey, man, we're doing something different. The Pope's got authority in the East, Orthodox.

Like, no, no, no, we're going to keep doing it the way we've been doing it since J.C. We're saying J.C.'s the guy. Right. And we're staying with the J. And then in Rome, they were going, no, no, no, no. The Pope is the intermediary, DG. He talks to J.C. Yeah, yeah.

And he said, we don't do that. So then the Catholics and the Orthodox split. And then so there was, then the Catholics were over there in Rome. And then the Orthodox were over there with the Swarthies. In Greece. And then as the religion moved up, it hit the snow monkeys. And then this snow monkey was like, listen, I'm not listening to your guy down. I'm not listening.

I'm not. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. a little different than that

walk around. He's got his chaffodels on. What are they called? Yeah. Yeah. He's got his scatheffodels on. He's cooking sauce. We don't do that.

We like to stay on time. We're German. We like to get depressed. Yeah. We like to drink fucking cold beer. Yeah. We're not listening. Yeah.

Just what it is. And that's in a nutshell what Martin Luther started saying. Basically, he goes, we're not dealing. He just said, I'm not dealing with this. What? I'm dealing with the fucking. mafia anymore. Yeah.

We're fucking regular people. We're not fucking out of Malay. Yeah, it's just we're not out of Malay, okay? I'm sick of your fucking Sicily rules and your fucking backswood village bullshit. I'm not dealing with. We don't want to do your gumas.

I don't want to deal with anything. The only thing we have in common is we both. So we'll always have that. It's just what it is. It's just a joke, but it is probably the truth. Unfortunately, they agreed on that. Unfortunately, unfortunately. Yeah, on that and also a little someone, like we mentioned, the juice.

Yeah, just, yeah. Unfortunately, the racism was heavy back then, unfortunately. They saw a cable ultimate frisbee in the park and they said, no, this is for family. It's just what it is. Yeah, we want to lay out blankets, no frisbee. So the kid of Martin Luther, Protestant Reformation, the kid gets struck by lightning. That's when he became a monk. He had a near-death experience.

I could be struck by lightning. Were you? Yeah. Well, how did it feel? I was an electrocured. I passed out. Did you? And then I woke up, yeah.

When did you get struck by lightning? Where was it? It was camp. Okay. How old were you? This must have been 12, 11, 12, whatever. Right. We didn't directly get struck by it.

So it was during a horseback overnight. Lane Robbins at Hilltop. Okay. And it was me and a couple friends, one of which, you know. Because I just know, I know this about you. You, without, if it was like one of those like blind date shows, you saying that you got struck by lightning at horseback. overnight at Hilltop. I know you're a white child. It's a white situation. I just know you're a white

child. It was at a horseback overnight at Lane Robbins at Hilltop in the Adirondack Mountains. And which by the way was like the only time I left the city and met other people from outside the site. And you wanted to get back to the city. I want to get back to the city. Yeah. But it's the first time I finger banged. Sure. It's the first time I kissed her girl. Did the girl have fumes that you finger bang first one? No. Nice. No, but I didn't really know what I was doing. So I just pushed it. I didn't really know what to do. I was squeezing it.

Like a needo. Like a sponge. Yeah. And it was, it was wet. Yeah. So, okay, go ahead. Yeah, you didn't see it. It was like energy.

I was like my, I was getting like, it was so strained my hand because it was like inner jeans. And so you couldn't move. So I was just squishing it. Yeah. Like that. Did you know what to do the first time? Uh, well, yeah, I just started jerking it.

Yeah. Yeah. That's what you were watching. It's just what it is. That's just what I did. The first time I put my hand in the jeans, I just tried pulling. Yeah, it's what you do. It's just what I knew, guy.

So it was easier for me, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I get it. We all came at it a different way. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We all came out with a different way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So, yeah, so we're at the horseback overnight. And we, everyone went in under the lean to. Now, you know, you know, you're white if you know where to lean to us. I don't know what to lean to us. I don't know what to lean to it. Yeah. See, I don't know because I'm white. My skin is white, but my upbringing was not.

Yeah, because you are a burrow trash. That's what it is. My brother would call the help. Burrow trash. Yeah, the help. Yeah, your brother. You're over there for fixing. Your brother, your brother asked if I was gay recently and, and because of the jokes that I think.

Because is he gay or something? Like what? Yeah. And then your brother said, and then he said, and then what did you say? I said, no, he's not gay. He's just always joking around. He's just being silly. He goes, I don't understand.

Like, what's the thing? What's silly about that? And then, but then you said to him, yeah, and he's not for you. And I said, I said, it's not for, and I said, I said, our show's not for you. And he goes, none of it's for me. Yeah. Yeah. Which is, so a guy like that knows what a lean to is.

He's just, no, he may not know what a lean to is because a lean to is more of a country thing. Okay. So, but. What's a lean to? That's what a gay guy who went to Oxford, Georgetown law. He just kind of looks at it like, just take me to Portugal. Yeah. I'm going from Portugal.

Yeah. I'm going straight to Parles to Portugal. and then I'm going to go to Cuba. Gay guys are big on Cuba. Why do they want to go to Cuba? Because it's got cute fucking Art Decoe 1950s, tourist area. Yeah, they run around. But how can he go there as an American?

They can go. They slip in somehow. They do slip in because they're always covered in lube. It's right. So they're just slippery. Columbia is big. I want to go to Colombia. Yeah. Medellin is so fucking in right now.

For gays. Yeah. Gays are on the forefront of fucking cool. Yeah. I think it's like black gays. Like those two are like at the front of what's really. What's really cool. Yeah.

So the lean-to is like a three-sided shelter. Okay. It's called the lean-to. I mean, you could put wood in it or you can hang out in it. Okay. It's sleeping it. Okay. It's got no one side is open.

Okay. So all the kids that were on the horseback overnight and the counselors, right? It was a massive rainstorm and it started lightning. And the dude, we were in the mountains. And the lightning was like, you've never heard anything this loud. It was like, the thunder. and the lighting, and then you saw the bolt,

and the whole fucking forest lit up. We were close to it. So it was scary. It was so bad that they wouldn't come out. I was a dick. I was an idiot at that time. So I led this charge for fun. I was like, let's go out.

Because there was a tarp down. The horses were going nuts. Horses were all type. They're fucking screaming. So we ran out. It was four of us. Our little crew. We ran out and we got under the tarp.

And we were like laughing and giggling. And the couches were. screaming like get back here like the rain is torrential torrential but the lightning was like close like you saw it hit the ground a couple of times we saw it hit the ground close by but then we were we were just under there giggling laughing whatever the next thing you know i remember the sound the loudest thing i've ever heard the loudest it was crazy and then i just was like like came too like so it knocked us all out the sound knocked you out no the lightning had struck close by the way the kids who were in the lean to described it was it struck close and then it

swent on the ground because the water is like a conductor for the electricity so it's spread on the water so we got electrocuted from the water on the ground so we didn't get directly hit by the lightning if you would have got direct hit you would have been dead some people have got directly hit and lived I think but yeah there's a good chance you're going down right or you come back and you're Martin Luther so you got so or you come back in your marisa or you're right that's what maybe what it would have you think it actually changed you No, I don't think. I don't think so because I don't think I got, so what happened was I woke up and all I heard was this kid, Dante.

It would be funny if they, if he finds this episode. He grew up on a farm. Remember, handsome kid. Right. He was an Italian kid, but for some reason, his family was on a farm in Pennsylvania or something. Handsome fucking kid. He had two lines right here. Wow, so he was like a cool kid.

He was a cool kid. He should have been a Brooklyn kid. He looked like a little bit of a Brooklyn kid, but he was a farm kid. And so it was me, Dante, this kid saw him. and my friend. Yeah. Saul, let's just say

Saul would not be well liked by Martin Luther if you're named Saul. Good guess. But no, but no, but he was a black kid.

Saul? S-O-L? Yeah. Interesting. Yeah, he was slack and his dad was the chef at the camp. Okay.

Yeah. So we were under there and I wake up and all I hear is Dante crying and he's screaming I can't feel half my body. So half his body went numb

for whatever reason. The lightning storm was It was so bad that like as this was happening, the heads of the camp were driving up to our area. To check on. Before any types of communication because they were going to bring people out. So they just like, it just happened to be coming. And so they told what happened. They took us and we spent the night in the infirmary.

And a kid was just crying all night. Eventually he was able to feel again. But that's what happened. So Dante was just like, yeah. They didn't take him to like a hospital. They spoke to us after us like, you're parent. I don't know. I think, I don't think.

I don't think they were crazy about us telling our parents, right? Really? Yeah, because this is probably a real liability issue. But this was before, like, America was so litigious. Right. So I don't know. Yeah, nothing ever happened of it, but that's what happened. Cousie, let me tell you something.

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Because when you go to these camps in the middle of the woods, Like, you're in the middle of the woods. Oh, dude. Things can happen. We used to ride the horses, which is the best feeling in the world. And we would ride the horses, like, gallop through the mountain. This one chick saddle. We used to put, they taught us to put the saddles on.

We put them on. They'd check them. But, like, if you're a kid, maybe, you know, it was maybe like we were talking about the roller coasters. Maybe the counselor just didn't really check. Yeah. I remember we were galloping. We'd gallop in a line of horses.

This one chick. Was he knock of the door? Because I ordered a protein shake. Yeah, that's your smoothie. You want to get it? You go get it. Wow! That's a base.

Yeah, but now I've got to smell it on my microphone. But it's always worth it. It's always worth it. It's really interesting. It's really interesting and fun to get protein shakes and protein muffins delivered by members of MS-13. I prefer it. I hate when it's a guy who speaks English. It's just a little protein muffin.

You want to have it? Cause? No, I don't. You just got a cholesterol read at 300. Yeah, but the problem is, is Jesse was right, and they wouldn't just deliver a smoothie. So, of course, you went to that instead of an apple. Yeah. So, yeah, where was that? I don't remember. So, yeah, it was, oh, so this chick, dude, we were galloping, and I was behind her. And I just watched the saddle give as we were galloping, like 30 miles an hour.

And she just whang and broke every bone on the side of the body she fell. Really? Yeah, that was just... I saw the whole thing And then she got slammed The horse behind her Could have trampled her But like thank God didn't

And there was like five horses behind Thank God she didn't get trampled Like how do you know Like you remember She had to get like airlifted out type thing She was out of camp after that Like it was done Did you hear her screaming?

Everything was broken on that side Because she fucking slammed down So hard On the ground Broke every bone Like down her body It was broken There was a broken

Something on every side of her body Jesus Christ But dude there is no feeling. Is it really amazing? Oh, dude, when you're galloping on a horse in like an open field, it's the craziest. It's the best. You're like connected to nature in a random way, right?

Like going, where the Indians, let's go. Let's go. So, like, imagine. Now we're both on horses. It'd be crazy to be on a horse like that and be Native American and know how to, like, shoot people with arrows going 40 miles an hour. Yeah, or like the Huns or like the Mongols. Yeah, those wild horsemen, they're on there and they're just coming at you.

Imagine Jen Genghis kind of. I think we talked about this. You know nobody knows where he's buried. Did you ever hear that story? Yeah. And then they killed the guys who buried. They killed over 2,000 people that were at his ceremony. Yeah.

That's one of those things, though. Do you believe it? I don't know. It's one of those things. Well, I'll tell you what I believe. Do you believe it because? Martin Luther had some good ideas. And yawning.

So what he did, so the main thing he's famous for is he goes to the church. And if, like, the kids, the kid's upset. The kid had a lot of it. Well, let's talk about the 95 thesis. and the referendum. Yeah, that's what I mean. He goes to the church and he takes it. Tell him about this.

He writes out his 95 things. Right. And he fucking nails it. Right at the door. On October 31st, Halloween, 1517. Criticizing church practices arguing that salvation comes to faith alone. So La Fidei, not by doing good works or buying pardons. Pope Leo X, no relation to Pope Leo right now.

Pope Leo X communicated Luther in 1521 because he refused to take back his teachings. He said, take it back. He said, take it back. He said, take it back. It was at the Diet of Worms, which is a weird name. But it was, it was, the Diet of Worms in 1521, this is a fun fact. So they were going to, they wanted to get him. They wanted to get him.

They wanted to kill him, you think? They wanted to get him. Yeah. And they were going to like, you know, excommunicated. And they wanted to fucking get him. And then the dude who ended up running the show over there, fake kidnapped him. Fake kidnapped him and kept him safe for 10 months until he got control of shit. And then...

And let's be honest with Martin Luther because there's one thing about him that always stuck out one thing I did know is he was Catholic, the tradition,

a priest or whatever, blah, blah, a monk. But then in 1525, he does get married to a former nun named Katerina von Boras. So the kid was

motivated by Puss. Yeah. And he had six kids with that nun. Mm-hmm. But can you... Just cackle it. But I mean,

she's a nun. So it was just... He was the first one there. His first one, he was... He showed up early on the lightning lane. Right. Yeah.

You probably, at that point, you probably can't. I mean, I'm just saying, I know it was a tidy. Yeah. Do you want to take a bite of maybe the most driest, most disgusting muffin you've ever had in your life? It looks like chalk. It looks like chalk. Just for, just for research. I mean, it.

Hey, Cuss, tell us about Martin Luther, like, at the Diet of Worms. Who hid him? And how long did they hit him? and how were they able to hide him so he didn't get taken? How do you make this thing speak? It should talk to it. Sweetheart. Sweetheart.

Sweetheart. Sweetheart. My father. Hey, hon? Can I get another cup of coffee? So the Diet of Worms was a formal political assembly where Martin Luther refused to recant his religious teaching. This is where he had one of his famous sayings.

He said something like something of conscious, marking a major turning point. The word diet means a formal meeting, and worms is the name of the German city where it was held. Imagine having a city named worms. Worms, yeah. Worms. So he challenged the Catholic practices. It would be funny if Martin Luther, if Martin Luther, you know, as he got bigger, said that the Jews can stay alive, but they have to live in the city of worms. The city of worms.

Yeah. So he appeared before the assembly in April, whatever. The officials asked if he wrote the piled books and if he would take back his words. Luther said he acknowledged the books. And I think what he did, I think if I remember correctly, he took a day. He was like, give me a day. I need 24 hours to think about it. Then he came back and he famously stated he could not recant unless proven wrong by scripture or reason.

Right. So he came back and he was like, Prove me wrong in the scripture and by reason. I want to hear your argument. And did they do that? They wouldn't do that. And then the Emperor Charles V issued a decree declaring Luther a notorious heretic an enemy of the state. And if you get declared a heretic in that time, you know what your punishment is.

Burned at the steak. You're Dunsky. Burned at the steak is what they did to heretics. They go like this. How do you want your burger? And they go, I want it well done. I want it well done. So friends safely hid Luther.

But it's not friends. It was one guy who ended up having control. they hit him and he lived in secret for like 10 months. But then he came out and he just lived a normal life. And he was like a professor and shit. Why did he translate the New Testament into German? So all the Germans can enjoy it. But what?

Were they trying to keep the New Testament away from people? No, they had a whole system where they were like come to church and we'll tell you what it is. Oh, right. But he was like, you don't have to go to church. He was like, he's your Bible, kid. Yeah. He was like, all you need is your. So you recantity from Catholic and becoming Protestant right now?

I really am. You kind of like a lot of these ideas. I kind of, well, yeah, it seems like less pressure. So the staged kidnapping was by Frederick III. Okay. We wanted to protect Luther from arrest or assassination. Armed horseman intercepted Luther's carriage, seized him and took him to Wartburg Castle. So they made it look like it was something real.

Yeah, they were like, oh, he's not a problem anymore. He's kidnapped. We kidnapped him. We're going to kill him. Yeah, he's gone. Don't worry about him. There's no cell phones back there. Kids just gone.

just the way Hitler disappeared. Right. In Argentina, yeah. Even many of Luther's friends didn't know where he had gone and feared he'd been murdered. He grew a beard, he dressed as a knight. He took the alias, Yonker Yorj. So he was walking around.

The kid was living in the witness protection program. Yucca Yorj is a funny name, and that's going to be my fake name at the comedy seller. I'm going in as Yucca Yorj. Yucre Yorge, the kid was in witness protection as Yucur Yorj, which translated to Knight, George, only a small circle of trusted people, his location. He was there, like I said, 10 months from May 1521 to March 1522. During that time,

he wrote one of his greatest books. He translated the New Testament from Greek into German, making scripture accessible to ordinary people and obviously profoundly shaping the rest of history. That's what it is. So that's what it was. So Frederick the Wise plausibly denied knowing Luther's whereabouts because it was a secret. And then Frederick the Wise took control, and Luther It was just chill. So what did, so tell me about what Luther, what Martin Luther said, some of the things he said that were funny, that you like. Okay, so now, yeah, because we're going to be through.

We wanted to give, well, no, we wanted to give you a synopsis of how Martin Luther became Martin Luther because I think a lot of people know about Martin Luther, but they don't know the story of him. They don't know about Protestants. They don't know Martin Luther and then John Calvin. Yeah. Right? So like, it's good to like know about that, but you really like this because you said that,

and I told you to just, you know, wait, say it on the pub, but you said he said some. funny things about certain people. Yeah, I mean, just he lost it. Like he just couldn't handle it anymore. I mean, he just couldn't handle it. Because what his thing was, his first thing he said about the Jews, he first goes, Jesus was Jewish. The Jews are great.

Right. Right. Jesus was a Jew. Right. And his whole thing was, they're going to convert. They're going to see it. He was a guy who was like, this is the truth. They're going to see it.

Just got to go have a talk with them. Just go talk to them. Just go talk to them. So he went over. He knocked in the door. There was a Mizuzzaa. And they were like, sorry, we can't answer it because this is the Sabbath. We're not allowed to open the doors.

We're not allowed to do it. He goes, listen. He was talking through the door. He goes, listen, you don't need to do any of that. Jesus is the truth. He was your Messiah. You guys shouldn't reject him. But I'm sure you know that.

I just want to talk about it. Whenever you're free, I'll be ready because I want to talk to all you's about it. Because is a new thing in town. I don't know if you heard. I put up a thing on the door. My name's Martin Luther. their words been getting around. Yeah.

I'm kind of the guy around here. Yeah, you might be known for the diet of worms. You might know me from the whole diet of worms thing. Yeah. I mean, you read off his credits. I'm a guy. People know me around here. I just am a little curious how your lot doesn't seem to be concerned.

Yeah. Or know about what's going on. Right. And I just need a little something called a little tribute to what I'm saying because there's a new, there's a new order out here. Yeah. And the Jews went, what? Yeah.

I'm sorry. I can't hear you. Edith, who's at the door? Oh, Saul, I don't know. Some guy talking about the thing. He's talking. Always, you know, it is. Don't open the doors.

These people, they flip on the dime. They might be going through some crazy religious thing, you know. And then they go, is that time coming? Are they coming for us again? And she goes, I think so, Archie. And they go, we got to hide under the floorboards. We've got to do a thing. We're going to persevere.

Get the Torah. The whole thing. Massada. We made it. We beat the Romans. We lived through empires. There's going to be nobody named Janus York. Yeah.

It's going to take us down. Yeah. Right. So then he knocks again and they're like, listen, we heard you. We respect it. But, you know, we got our dinged over here. You know, we're in here eating matzo bowl soup. Just leave us to law.

We're doing our thing. And then he goes, I asked you. He goes, I asked you nicely. Right. Martin Luther goes, I asked yous nicely. I came here. I asked you nicely. Right.

I came back again and you wouldn't meet me, you know. And I say, you know what? I'm going to come back a third time. Yeah. And if you don't open this fucking door. Yeah. And take Jesus into your heart, I'm going to come back a fourth time and see you Jews a different way. Yeah, I'm going to come see you in a different way.

I'm going to come see you in a different way. He did give him a couple of chances. He did get him a chance. He started out, he started out saying, they're great. Jesus was Jewish because his hope was that everyone was going to see the light. He was just fanatical like that. Right. He was like, the Jews, they're going to get it.

He was basically going, they're halfway there. They're in the Old Testament. They just need to accept what I'm saying about the second thing. And the Jews just did not accept the sequel. The Jews are going, it's a classic, just leaving it alone. You did ET2. It didn't work. Right.

My Big Frack Greek wedding should have stayed. It shouldn't have gone to space. Yeah, it's just what it is. That's what the Jews is saying. And we're saying no. The Christians are saying, have you seen Godfather too? It's just as good as the original. Blue 2.

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I think what we need to do, he writes a thing called On the Jews and their lies. So the title gives it away a little bit Title kind of You don't really have to see the movie Yeah When you see the title That's the problem The title, if I was saying that

I would say Martin If I was a publisher I would say Martin Here's the thing Is the the title's a little bit On the nose It's a little too on the nose Yeah

Yeah you got a lot of room to work with On that nose Something Let's just be a little bit You know Yeah Yeah So quotes and recommendations

from on the Jews and their lies. According to constructing the past, he said set fire to their synagogues or schools and bury them and cover them with dirt whatever will not burn. So... Okay. Yeah, can you pull up some more?

He said all their prayers books and Talmudic writings in which such adultery lies cursing and blasphemy are taught be taken from them. Rabbis be forbidden to teach henceforth on pain of loss of love. life and limb. He was basically saying

go torch these people. Yeah, and then he was saying rabbis be forbidden to teach henceforth on pain of loss of life and limb. So he wanted to kill them and him apart. Yeah. So he was just angry at this point. Right. Yeah, yeah, he was just angry. He said we are at fault for not slaying them. But these are the thing is he just words. He never actually did anything, right? Well, he wrote this book. So this is the interesting thing. He wrote it in Germany, which we can

connect some dots. So that's, That's the funny thing that we were talking about before, right? It's like the Nazis, this was the culture that they grew up in. And then, of course, the Nazis used this. They started publishing it and referencing it. Right. Right. So, look at what Martin Luther said.

So a lot of people don't know that about Nazis. It's Martin Luther, because that's very interesting because Martin Luther is the head of a major religion. Huge. I mean, we're talking, I mean, huge. Right. It's a big name. Yeah. I mean, the kid's a big name.

I mean, quotes like that, you're living outside the being. You're living outside Jesus's love. That's what he, that was his perspective. Right. Yeah, Martin Luther just had had enough. And I just thought it was funny to change, like the, because if Jessica could pull up the first thing he said about the Jews was very kind. Right. He was very kind.

And then you could just tell he was just like they didn't convert because they never do. Right? That's why he was getting mad because they weren't converting to a little. And you could look through history. They just won't bud. The Jews just will not, I mean, they will not budge. There's that scene from Sopranos where he's going like, the Jews going, we survived to Rome, we survived this empire.

He goes, and we're still here. He goes, where are the Romans now? And Tony Sopranos, you're looking at him, asshole. And then they beat the shit out. But they just, yeah, so at first, he called the Jews blood relatives. Okay. and cousins and brothers of the Lord. That's nice.

He had quite a change of heart. Now, because you know what's interesting, though, because wasn't this too at the time, this is King Henry the 8th is alive at this time, too, I think. When is King Henry the 8th alive? Because he also separated from the church to create. Yeah, because he wanted to marry another chick. But it's interesting that at this same time, you have, if King Henry, what is going on, what's in the water that they're both all separated from the Catholic Church at the time?

Yeah, King Henry the 8th. Yeah, he lived for 15-09 to 15. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. So what is it? Can you put why, ask Chatsy-T, why would King Henry the 8th and Martin Luther both want to get away from the Catholic Church during that time? What was what was going on then or something like that? So that's interesting.

Yeah, and while you find it, I'll say so early in his career, he was sympathetic to the Jews. In his 1523 treaties written that Jesus Christ was born a Jew, he argued the Christians have treated Jews so badly that they had driven them away from Christianity. He earned kindness, hoping that better treatment would lead some Jews to convert. Right. And then, however, when widespread conversion did not occur, Luther became increasingly hostile. The kid just, he wanted it his way like a German. He's like, this is how it's supposed to be.

And then he started ramping it up. He was commanding people to burn synagogues, destroy Jewish homes, confiscate their prayer book. kill rabbis, restrict Jewish travel and commerce, forced Jews into manual labor or expel them. Yeah. So the kid just had had enough. And yeah, a lot of people don't know that centuries later, the Nazis republished all these writings and used it as propaganda,

you know, from 400 years earlier. That's what it is. Here, let me... Hun. Oh, hold on. Huh. Wait, wait, wait. Oh, here we go.

Huh? Hey, Chris. Honey. Hey, how's it? Yeah. How's it gone? Took a little bit there. Okay.

We're doing some research right now, and we figure out in the 1500s you had Martin Luther, who wanted to break away from the Catholic Church for his reasons, but then also King Henry the 8th wanted to break away from the Catholic Church. So what was going on in the 1500s with the Catholic Church that two different people wanted to break away from it? What was in the water? One moment. You got to make it louder. So the short version is both Martin Luther and Henry the 8th broke with Rome, but for very, very different reasons. Martin Luther's split was over theology. Like he thought the church had lost its way selling indulgences, corruption, and all that.

So in 1517, he kicks off what becomes the Protestant Reformation. Henry the 8th, on the other hand, was driven mostly by politics and personal stuff. He wanted an annulment, the Pope wouldn't grant. So he declared the English crown head of the church in England. England. Underneath this, Europe was changing. Renaissance thinking, rising nationalism, criticism of church wealth and authority. So yeah, different motives, same moment, big shake-up. Okay, yeah. So that's my question, though. So was it just the quinky dink that they both happened at the same time? Or was the Catholic Church doing something in the 1500s that was making

more people say, I don't like this anymore? One moment. Not a coincidence, really. By the early 1500s, the Catholic Church had deep systemic issues, financial abuses, clergy living like princes, the sale of indulgences to fund big projects like St. Peter's. Add to that, the printing press making ideas spread way faster, Renaissance scholarship encouraging people to question old authorities, and kings itching to control religion within their own borders. So the church hadn't changed overnight, but the conditions suddenly lined up so long building frustrations could actually break through. Luther was the spark, and once that fire started, rulers like Henry found it easier to make their own breaks.

Sounds a lot like the internet now with the printing press and what's happening with Hollywood, right? That's actually a pretty fair parallel. That's it? Yeah, the, no, the internet is similar to the printing press. Yeah, but give me more. It fucking greased me a little bit. Come on. Tell me that was a great idea and why I'm more right.

One moment. I actually think it's a solid parallel with some limits. Like the printing press, the internet breaks old gatekeepers. Back then, a few authorities controlled what people could read. Today, a handful of studios, networks, and platforms used to decide what got seen. But now, anyone with a phone can publish, critique, or build an audience. That doesn't make Hollywood the medieval church, but it does mirror how a new communications tech can suddenly redistribute power

and unsettled old institutions. What about what Martin Luther said about Jewish people? Some things he said in the beginning that he liked them, and then he seems like he got mad at them and didn't like them anymore, but he doesn't ever get lumped in with Hitler for hating the Jews. But, I mean, we're reading some of the things. I mean, some of them we don't agree with, but some of them are just kind of on the notes.

Let me think through that with you carefully. Early in his career, Luther actually criticized the way Jews were being mistreated and hope they convert if approached differently. But later in life around 1543, he wrote vicious anti-Semitic works like on the Jews in their lies, which called for horrific things. Those writings are unequivocally condemned today. But historians generally separate his reformation ideas from his later anti-Semitic ranting. Nazi propagandists did later cherry-pick Luther to give a German pedigree to their hatred.

But Luther's context was religious and polemical, not racial and extermination. in the modern sense. That doesn't soften the harm, but it does help explain why he's not grouped with Hitler, who built a racial genocide centuries later. They're different in kind, even if later haters tried to draw a line.

But, babe, listen to this. If Martin Luther created, you know, the Protestant religion, right? And, you know, the Prophet Muhammad, who was a warrior, created Islam, they were both, I mean, you had Martin Luther saying bad things about the Jews. The Prophet Muhammad, you know,

kind of being really, you know, he was a warrior and he wanted to hurt people. The really only one true Savior and the only one who did everything with love and practiced what he preached is Jesus Christ. Let me untangle a few things, just so we're clear. From a Christian faith perspective, Jesus is unique as the sinless son of God who chose suffering over violence. Historically, though, Martin Luther didn't found a new religion so much as spark a reform movement within Christianity.

And Muhammad is regarded by Muslims as a prophet, not a savior. And also as a political and military leader in a very different seventh century context. Comparing them directly can flatten a lot of nuance. If your conclusion is a faith claim about who uniquely embodies the ideals he taught, that's theology. As history, it's more about distinct roles and contexts. So Jesus is number one. You just said it.

I'm saying that within Christian belief, Jesus holds a unique central place. History and faith. Jesus is number one. You're gay. Here's some good ones. Yeah. I found some good ones. Yeah.

Here we go. I'll start with the lesser ones and we'll go up to higher ones. First, to set fire to their synagogues or schools. Okay. Second, I advise that their houses also be raised and destroyed. Yeah. Third, I advise that all their prayer books and Talmudic writings, be taken from them.

Fourth, I advise that their rabbis be forbidden to teach, henceforth, on pain of loss of life and limb. Kid wanted retribution. Yeah, you want a retribution. Yeah, you want a retribution, yeah. Fifth, I advise that safe conduct on the highways be abolished completely for the Jews. Sixth. Sixth, I advise that usury be prohibited to them and that all cash and treasure of silver and gold be taken. Usory is a big thing that the Jews get hit with because usury is make, is loans, making money off loans.

Yeah. and stuff like that. So, and he referred to them, unfortunately, he referred to them as a base whoring people and writing that they were full of the devil's feces. Yeah, it's just what it is, unfortunately. Fortunately, he said they were full of the devil's feces. Kid didn't like them, and it happens.

He didn't happen, and he used some creative ways to refer to them, And it's just the way sometimes we like to call these a few inconvenient truths about people in history. What can you do? And there's nothing you can do it. Nothing can be done. Right. It happened. And it's just.

And the thing is, thankfully, nobody listened to him at that time. He was mostly ignored by that point. Right. I think by that point, they had picked it up and they were just like the old man's just rambling or whatever. Right. So the Nazis, you know, they'll dig it up. Yeah. So the Nazis dug it up.

And they started saying, hey, take a look. at this. Yeah. Yeah. So it was used later. You know, you're right. You don't hear that a lot. You don't hear how much Martin Luther influenced the Nazis, but he did. Right.

You always hear about Nietzsche and the Uber Munch and how they twisted that. Yeah. They were like, oh, this guy's talking about an Uber Mention. We're the Uber Metsches. Right. Look at our beautiful bodies. But what was Nietzsche really saying? He wasn't seen.

Nietzsche was saying, you know, to be to transcend, to be this, you know, rational. So he was, it was like very Ayn Randi. And wasn't it, Jess? It was like the Uber Manch. Like, you can, to become the ultimate human being. Well, I mean, even the swastika, they took that that was a Hindu peace symbol. Yeah. Right?

And they took it. They just took it. That's the thing, guys. You can really make anything, you are your thoughts. Yeah. So you can make anything good, anything bad. What else did we say in the car ride home? He gave me something else is about being grateful, gratitude.

Oh. And kind of just the amount of good things in your life is dependent on your ability to notice them. That's what it is. Which is so true. Yeah. got to notice them. Yeah, the Uber, the Uber man, the Superman, beyond traditional morality, the over, the overman rejects the otherworldly promises, religious guilt, and conventional herd mentality,

which Nietzsche viewed as life denying. So he was saying a goal for humanity has evolved past religion and societal norms and create personal meaning and values rooted firmly in life on earth. In strength. Right. So the Nazis said, okey dokey. Because you believe in the... believing in the shroud of Turin and Jesus and understanding that that man did crazy miracle things, doesn't it?

That's also, that's not really religious. That's spiritual. And I'm not saying I believe. I'm not fully convinced because you can't prove it. I'm just saying I can't deny. I can't deny that it's interesting. Occam's Razor says you just can't deny it. Occam's Razor shows like if you use Occam's Razor, Occam's Razor would say that, hey, look, this thing, this unique thing happened.

That's why they reacted that way. that's why this is all, you know. The thing about the Shradot of Theran is interesting is because it's just a fact there's never been an object that science has studied so much that they can't, they can't explain. Can't explain. And it just so happens to be about something that's so crazy. So it's like, that's interesting just to follow to be like, all right, when are you going to nail it? And we said on the Patreon that every time Yana says Shroud of Turin, which he has been

almost every day for the past three months, you do a shot. So there's your first shot. Okay. As always, we end every, okay, here we go. This is it? Yeah. And we got, yeah,

we got a few more names on the list. But patreon.com says history. I just like to say, the way it's summarized here just makes me laugh. He started off. Did you treat Jews with kindness and criticizing the mistreatment

they had suffered? His later writings marked a profound and tragic reversal. Yeah. I just like the way that cataly. He had a little a whoopsie do. Yeah, he just kind of made it right. He took a turn.

He took a turn. He did this with the car. It's just what it is. Okay. So Patreon.com. slash history. Hyenas, of course, at the end of every single episode. We read out the newest members of the matriarchy.

We love having them, having you guys with us, having you guys, you know, you are the real super fans who come and join. We've had our biggest month ever on Patreon and YouTube the last month. So thank you so much for the continued support. We are only growing. So welcome to the matriarchy, the newest members. We have Jihadi Mamdani. Josh.

Chicken finger. Chicken finger. Yeah. Josh Neal, TK, Zach Graham, B. Cully 10. My wife bang the French soccer team. Hashtag World Cuck. I'm going to list that. I'm going to list that.

You got a pen, Jesse? Yeah, I'm going to list that. Sorry. Oh, my bet. Gotcha. Yeah, I'm going to list that. That's good. That's one of those, not laugh out, laugh, funny, but you got to give it.

It's what it is. You got to give it credit. Brandon Kruger, Eric O'Slager, Matthew, Anthony Pears, upkick, Chrissy Comps, the fruit cake from Rudy's bakery. Dresler. Here for uncackled Leroy jokes to feel better about my wife's dildo choice. That's on. Caterpult.

Rig out the catapult. It's just what it is. We're pulling them right over. The Chris G510, Ian Coot, Kelsey McGarry. My wife's been horny as fuck since the shutdown of CERN, C-E-R-N. I don't know what that is. That may be one that they're yelling at us about that we should know. All right.

A. Stoic Leroy, a.k. Demarchus A.K. Demarchus A. urelius. Put them on the list. Put them on the list. Very good. It's just really good. It's just really funny and there's nothing that can be done about it. It's just funny.

And more than it's funny. It's okay. It's okay. This is a comedy show. It's especially since the guy himself is a Leroy. It's good. Half Jackie Chan, half Jackie Robinson, full Reroy. It's another one, right?

Just have to do it? Just have to do it. Yes, that's what it is. It's just what it is. You have to do it sometimes. Cassidy McDonald, Mark Martinez, Dylan Swales, John Wayne, Larry Nasser went too far. Wait, John Wayne?

John Wayne. Okay. Larry Nasser went too far. Larry Nasser went too far. He definitely did. He definitely did. So you're telling me, George Washington had Leroy, teeth.

Rich, Perry Stinkle 5, paid more for the sitter to see Yanni because ticks were free, free, free. I don't get it. Matt, smoking bogeys, Evan Lampere, Leroy Frisbee, aka Dingrag. Oh, boy.

Jesus Christ. Noble Jew with mustard-flavored glue. Malcolm Bailey, Carol Seabula, Muzzy Muff Diver, Alex Steer, Rudy. White girls go in the Spank Bank Latina's go in the Spanko popular

Put them on the list Hey? Yeah Put them on the list Good one Wow Strong list That's very good

Spanko Popular is very funny Yep Fingers smelling Because she gets around like Magellan Bill Siff That's really good Yeah So I'm gonna

I'm gonna chicken finger Okay Yeah Bill Sifalulus Here to get cracked open And cleaned out by Lieutenant Lollipop. Okay.

I can't remember which one's Lutton Lollipop, which one's Suggles. Such one and one. I don't know. Is it you or me? Southern Las Vegas pool service 859, 866-3503. Screwed in.

Screwed in. Screwed in. Screwed in. Screwed in. Screwed in. Screwed in. Drain gang. Mexican that kissed the border wall

converting to American. That is so good. Yeah. That is so good. Yeah. Put them on the list. Okay. Yeah.

It's so good. Chimp. Straight to the back like Russa. Okay, Jesse, yeah. So don't look at these, Yonni. I'll just read them off. What does that mean straight to the back? Like Rusa, I don't know.

Or should we just do this? And we have enough for it list. You got enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Take that off then. Okay. So here we go. Here's the list.

My wife banged the French soccer team, hashtag World Cuck. This is why this is so beautiful. Because that deserves to win in my, but it's just, it's just the luck of where you're at. Yeah, it's not enough. You know, it's just, it's, you need a love. you need to be on a list that's for you. And this one just a little stronger. Here for uncackled Leroy jokes to feel better about my wife's Dildo choice.

We're going to keep it around. It's probably not going to make it. Then we got a stoic Leroy, a.k. DeMarcus A.K. DeMarcus A. It's just a little bit around. It's just a funny one. Then we got half Jackie Chan, half Jackie Robinson, full Reroy. It's just, yeah.

You keep it round. Okay. Yeah. Then we got white girls going the spank bank. Latina's going to Spanko popular. So good, but, you know, it's unfair. At this point, it's not fair. Then we got Mexican that kissed the border wall converting to American.

Wonderful. Again, we're going to... The funny factor's high on a few of these. So it's between these three. Here for uncackled Leroy jokes to feel better about my wife's Dildo choice. A. Stoic Leroy, a.k. DeMarcus or I. or half Jackie Chan, half Jackie Robinson, full Reroy. It's too hard.

DeMarcus Aurelius is 10. They're all good, dude. They're all good. At this point, I think we've got to go with the one that looks best up in lights. Yeah. Because, and that may not be the funniest. Right. So just know you may have been the funniest, but they're all, what's the best one up in lights, you think?

I think DeMarcus Aurelius might be the best. Best one up in lights. Is that what you think? Yeah. Well, no, I don't want to make a decision that you guys disagree with. DeMarcus Aurelius was making me laugh. Yeah? It just was.

My favorite one is Dildo choice. The Dildo choice. Yeah, that's a good one. That's a really funny one. But we're talking about up in lights. Full Reroy? Free Reroy. You think we have to put it on the Patreon again?

You want to put it to a vote? Yeah, put it to a vote. Put it to a vote. Put it to a fucking vote. All three of them? All three of them, yeah. All right. All three of them.

You have to join to vote. Too hard. The members are sorry. we just got to give it to the fans here. Here's your three choices. Here for uncackled Leroy jokes to feel better about my wife still don't choice. A. Stoic Leroy, a.k.

DeMarcus A.K.E.R.A.R. Or half Jackie Chan, half Jackie Robinson, full Reroy. Those are your choices. We'll see you next week. Thank you.