History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - The Wild History of Futbol, Lionel Messi is a squeak | History Hyenas

Episode Date: July 9, 2026

⚽ The biggest sporting event on Earth gets the Hyenas treatment. This week, the boys dive into the incredible history of the FIFA World Cup—from its unlikely beginnings to the moments that turned soccer into a global obsession. They break down the greatest goals ever scored, the legends who became immortal, and ask the ultimate sports debate: **What if America's greatest athletes grew up chasing the World Cup instead of the NFL or NBA?** Then things take a darker turn as they examine the controversy surrounding the 2022 World Cup in Qatar, the migrant labor system that built the tournament, and the debate over whether global scrutiny led to meaningful labor reforms—or simply exposed deeper human rights problems. History, sports, politics, hot takes, and absolute chaos—just the way the Hyenas like it. #HistoryHyenas #WorldCup #Soccer #Football #Messi #Maradona #Pele #Zidane #Qatar2022 #SportsHistory #ComedyPodcast Support our sponsors: https://zocdoc.com/HYENAS Right now, when you buy two months of BlueChew Gold, you get the third for FREE with promo code HYENAS. To explore coverage, visit https://ASPCApetinsurance.com/HYENAS. The ASPCA® is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance. For terms and conditions visit: https://www.aspcapetinsurance.com/more-info/state-documents-and-sample-policies/. Products are Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas/ Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit.ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0 Hyenas Merch!!! https://store.historyhyenaspod.com Follow us Cuz! 🙆🏻‍♂️ Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ 🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ 🐕More Hyenas Website: www.historyhyenasisback.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/historyhyenas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HistoryHyenas Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/historyhyenaspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Listen, Trollco, they're sponsoring the show today, okay? And the story is good. Yeah, I actually want to tell you about them because the story is legitimately good. You know the phrase dirty hands clean money? It's a blue collar saying that's been around forever. It means exactly what it sounds like. You work hard with your hands. You earn an honest living and you build a good life, a good white life.

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yeah. If you're in the new economy and you didn't get fired from AI, you really want to check out Trollco. So right now, check out Trollco.com slash hyenas. that's T-R-O-L-C-O-com slash hyenas. Use the code Hyenas 25 for 25% off your first order. I'm checking it out. Guys, we got a great episode coming at you all about the history of the World Cup and soccer.

Come see me this weekend, July 10th and 11th, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Helium Comedy Club, and then August 21st, 22nd, Portland, Maine Empire Comedy Club, Christycom for Tickey. See me in East Hampton this weekend, July 10th. see me in New Brunswick, New Jersey, July 17th and 18th. See me in Philly, August 14th and 15th, and Austin, August 21st, to the 23rd. Janus, Pappascomedy.com for tickets. Patreon.com slash history hyenas for our weekly bonus episodes. Go check them out right now.

Guys, what's up? Welcome to another episode of History. Hi, Hyenas. I'm Krista Stefano, aka Christi the goalkeeper, with me as always, is Yiannaz Pappas. a.k.a. Yanni No Jail. Yanni. Pretty good chance you're going to see me in one of these

true classic shirts. It's what it is. Listen to me. We're off the beam and out of the program. I've gotten a hand job from a woman at West Garden. Janus has having 17 slices of pizza. We're going to None of that is true. We're not on the Patreon. None of it's true.

See, the thing is not. Yeah, none of it is actually true. Yeah. But you say it and then you get in trouble and then we got to erase episodes. Yeah, I'm sorry. We met Jesse. We constantly, lately, the last three weeks, we have been making Jesse edit episodes. He's had to take time away from his clay studio to edit episodes. And you're right, Yanni. Let's stay on the beam and within the lines today on this episode, but I'm in a good mood. I'm on two ketone IQs. I'm excited because today, you know, in real time, the United States

men are going to be playing at 8 p.m. But we're also going to watch Portugal versus Spain, which starts here in an hour or two, and that's good because I don't even need a blue chew when I'm watching that because they got hot guys. Yeah, they got Rinaldo. They got Rinaldo. Cute kid, but did you ever see what Rinaldo looked like before he got rich?

Not cute. He was banged up. Because he's the male Kardashian. Yeah. He looked banged up, got a little money, and then he got a new head. That's what it is. Look at that.

I mean, the kid's a hell of a player, and he's a hottie with a body kid. Got beautiful teeth. Yeah. Now, because we're into the World Cup. We're into it. Like most Americans, we're into the World Cup. We're into soccer big for a month.

We're into football. We're into football for a month. I don't think there's a problem with us also calling it football. Just because we have American football, we can just pronounce it football. We're getting football. So we're going to talk about football. Today we're going to talk about the origins of the World Cup. We're going to talk about, how about this?

Ask me this right now, and I swear to God, I swear on Derek Jeter. I can do this off the top of my head. Nick, correct me if I'm wrong, because Nick is our soccer expert. How many countries have won the World Cup? I know that Italy's done it five times. Four times. I know Italy's done four? No, I'm saying how many different countries have won the World Cup?

Five. Eight countries have won the World Cup in 100 years. That's not a lot of countries. Do you know the countries? See if you can name them all. I know Italy's got four. Italy's one. Go Italy.

I know. The Germans got four. Check. I know the Brazilians got five. Check. I know Argentina's got one. No, they got three. I got three. Check.

I know the United States women got a few, baby. I love you, broads, even though you're... We're not... Yeah, we're not talking about chicks. So we got four. So give me the other four. I know Uruguay won the first one. Five. That's a tough one that most of them don't get.

Come on, let's go. Ooh, baby. Four of the last three. Ooh, baby. We got Italy, Uruguay. Germany, you said Argentina. Netherlands got one. Netherlands don't got one, guys.

They don't got, you can't win a World Cup in wooden shoes. I know England's got one. England's got one in 1966, so right now when we have six, you need two more. I need two more, baby. Give me a, give me a Mexico. Mexico does not have a no. Give me a, give me a, give me a, give me a. Come on, there's a big one that you're forgetting.

It's right on the tip of your stupid tongue. Saudi Arabia. No. They've won my heart. Morocco. Definitely not. Yeah, this Morocco. But they made the semifinals.

Their first African team. And they'd make the semifinals. But, but, but, but, but, but, but, here's the thing. Here's the thing. I will give you a hint. Portugal. No, but Morocco, you mentioned Morocco. One of the teams that has won the World Cup, they have something to do with Morocco right now.

They have something to do with Morocco right now. Have something to do with Morocco right now. Right now. Come on. Um. Come on. Muhammad? No.

New. They're playing Morocco in the next round. Oh. Oh. So if you can tell me who's playing Morocco. Oh. How did I forget? Come on.

You know. You know, how did I forget? It's so hard to remember them because, you know, they're very unappreciative of what we did for them in World War II. Exactly. So sometimes it's easy to forget the freedom fries. Yes, the freedom fries. The French.

French. Those baguettes. They got... Two. I think they got two. They got two. So we're missing one. No, that's eight.

No, you gave me seven. Okay, dokey, I'm going to go with Sviedan. No, not Sviden. I'm going to go with Belgium. Oh, how do we forget another powerhouse? We're going to go with Spagna. Waysonian. There are cackles all over this episode.

It's what it is. It's what the people pay for that they get for free. Yeah. I forgot about them. Wow. So how many is Europe have? How crazy is that that in 100-year World Cup history, only eight nations have ever won the World Cup.

But the African nations are the best player. The African, if the World Cup said you play for the country of your heritage, Africa would win every World Cup because the best players on almost every team are African. And they just get, like the French, half the French, but they're from the African colonies of France. They're not like, they're not French. Not all of them, I mean they're French, but they're African. The best players aren't England besides Harry came.

They're African descent. Africa is the best soccer players. Senegal best. Well, the best player is Italian from Argentina. Yeah, but there's just a couple of outliers. But you got the guy from Norway. There's not everything as, you know, as it seems. And Zidon is, you've got to say he's top.

But he was a muzzie. No, he was not. Is Dane from France? No. Was he? Was he? Yeah, so that's what I'm saying. But he played for France.

Oh, so he was North African. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, he's got to be one of the top three, four, right? I don't know if they put him in the top. I think the consensus now is Messi is the best. Yeah. North African, yeah. Messi's a piece, too, with a shirt off.

You ever Google Messi, no shirt on? Messi was born a midget. Messi should could also play for Italy. You know Messi was born a midget and he had to take human growth hormone to develop until he was 16 or 17? Is that the truth? That is the truth. He was born a. squeak. I mean, he still is a squeak. He's

5-7. I mean, his wife is an absolute, no doubt about it. He's the most famous guy in the world, I mean, you know. No, she loves him for him. Yeah. Well, he's the most famous guy. He's the most talented soccer player, maybe of all time. But

Cristiano Ronaldo is also not African. Yeah, so Cunz, Diego Maradonna and Pele, the two best, are not as well, Pele. Well, what do you mean African continent? Or you're talking about let's just move on to the next topic

yeah what are we talking about what I want to talk to you about is do you know what the hand of God goal is and who did it it was Baradana and do you know what there's another what's his other famous goal there's the hand of God goal

that happened in the same game and then there was another goal where you just like dribble down the whole field past the entire English team by the way Mexico losing to England what would be two nights ago now was the first Mexican loss in stadium Azteca in like 30 years. I know. And they lost to England. That was a fantastic, that was the game of the tournament so far. And you know, it was crazy

because it was like they were playing Mexico. So it was weird in my mind, right? It was like Italy and they like had to build like a wall by the gold and they were just repelling the Mexicans. Yeah. Out of the wall. Yeah. They were just like the Mexicans were trying to climb in there. And they couldn't get them out. Let me tell you something right now. Yeah. Okay. Mexican fans are hot The Spanish fans are hot Mexico And Brazilian fans are hot

Yeah what I want to happen Guys and girls What I want to happen is I want Canada The United States Central America And South America To become like the EU I think that would be great

Yeah Is that bad? No I want it Would that be good in some way Yes Like we all became the same You know Nick

If we made a pact Like that out I mean Who benefits because the USA is the only one that ever benefits from this. Yeah, but you're a U.S. citizen guy. Uruguay is doing really good by itself, though. All by itself.

They did it all by itself. See, you're a separatist. I am a little bit. You're a separatist. I'm from Jackson Heights. What are you going to do? What are you're going to do? It's true.

Yeah. I guess we kind of all are allies. Our hemisphere besides Cube, we're all allies. We're all allies. Now, let's go. We wanted to do a fun little episode today about the history. But what I'm saying is it would be a night to get a couple of those Mexicans on the United States team. I would love that.

If we had, if we, if it was North America versus Europe, North America, we'd have a good, really good team. Yeah. But I, and we have almost no players from the United States. That's right. Yeah. Our main player is British guys. We would just send the Mexican national team.

Yeah. And we have one, our main player is a British guy. So that's what we would do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So Jess, can you, can you pull up the history of the World Cup? I want to say that it all began in 1930.

13 teams participated. Uruguay defeated Oxford. Argentina, 4-2 in the very first one, about 93 spectators packed the Estadio Centenario. So the first game was in Uruguay, was the World Cup. It started in Uruguay. Yeah. And soccer was invented in England in 1800. In the late 1800s, 1864-ish.

But soccer had its roots. 2,000 years. People were playing, they have artifacts of people playing, kicking a ball around without their hands. Yeah, you know who specifically? The Chinese. Yeah. Yeah. were the ones that they just, you know, but it never wasn't organized into a formal, you know,

sport until really the 1860s. And then FIFA was founded in 1904. And FIFA is interesting because FIFA was probably the most corrupt sporting organization that's ever lived. Was? Is? Yeah, but they had to clean up a lot of the corruption. Well, they had to because, and that's what I think Donald Trump was able to get the red card reverse for the U.S. player. because I think they're so corrupt and Trump knows that,

that he was probably like, look, I either reinstate the player or some of your corruption is going to get en masse. Yeah, he really knows how to talk to the corrupt. He knows his own. Do you, as a soccer fan, Nick, do you, is that at least one checkmark for Trump that he was able to get the U.S. One of the best players reinstated?

We don't know that. It was him. You think it was him? 100%. Well, how could it not have been him? Well, here's the thing. It was a stupid fucking call. Yeah.

It was not, you didn't, even call it on the field. You can't, you can't, you can't, you didn't even call a yellow card on the field. Right. So then you can't go to review. It should have never went to review. He didn't even call it a yellow card. That kid, what a long three days. Was that a red card? Was that intentional? I didn't actually see the play, but it, they've been calling things weird all tournament. Like, Messi should have gotten a red card in the very beginning. My dad thinks that Argentina, that FIFA wants Argentina to win because they never give Argentina or Messi any of the red cards. My dad refers to them as Argent FIFA now.

Ooh, I like that. I like Argent FIFA. You can't, if you're FIFA, you got to understand, Messi's got to be on the field. Same with Wembe, when Wembeen Yamah. You're not going to throw him out of the final. He should have been thrown out too. But it's just the good guys always win.

Jalen Brunson. Jailen Brunson always win. And Jesse, honey, can you go back to the chat GPT? Yeah. Chris is the only man I've ever met who will refer to another guy's huddy, and it's funny. It's funny. Yeah.

So, so we had the tournament in 1930 in Uruguay, 1934 in Italy, 1938 in France. Then it was canceled in 1942 because of a little man named Adolf Hitler. Then in 1946, we had to recover, like Jesse's brother, going through paternity leave. I had to just take a minute. Then 1950 comes back in Brazil. The modern canazzo. Instead of a traditional final, the tournament ended with a championship group. Brazil only needs.

needed a draw against Uruguay, and Uruguay stunned nearly 200,000 fans at the Maracanya Stadium by winning 2 to 1. The upset became known simply as Maracanazo, one of the greatest shocks in sports history. Nick, are you familiar with this? Yeah, this is big. So Uruguay has won two World Cups. Actually, technically, so a lot of people don't like Uruguay because... That was very gay. Actually, technically.

Listen to this, babies. You don't even know about this. Yeah. So Uruguay claims they have four championships because prior to the World Cup, the The Olympics was considered, FIFA considered that whoever won the Olympics, that's the world champions. Wow.

And Uruguay actually has the two before FIFA started. So much like, you know, like the Giants, they have world championships before the Super Bowl. Yeah. Same thing with Uruguay. They consider themselves a four-time champions. I'll give it to them. And I agree too.

Yeah, I agree with Uruguay. I would recognize them as four championships. Dude, look at this. Can you, there was 200,000 fans there. Dude, the stadium Azteca in Mexico last night, they renovated so you can only. for 85,000. When Madadona played there, was like 180,000 fans. Yeah, it is

crazy. Do you know how, we don't have stadium, we can't, like, I think the biggest one we got here is Michigan. University of Michigan got 100,000 fans. How about Ohio's a big one right now? I think it's same. I think they're all like 100,000. Then, what happened is, is in 1958, we have a little man named Pele,

the Pelele era. Pele, for Brazil, they won three World Cups. 1958, 1962, 1970, the 1970, the Brazilian team. is considered the greatest team ever assembled, featuring stars such as Jada Zino, Tostayo, and Carlos Alberto Torres.

The truth of the matter is I love sports. I don't know who these fucking guys are, besides Pele. And my name on Grindr was Gayle. Listen, Gayle, this was before we were alive, so it's not our people. Yeah, but we still should know, like, I don't know, even like the soccer players. I mean, guys, we just don't know. We don't care. Yeah, but we didn't have soccer growing up.

Soccer wasn't big in Brooklyn. It's not big. It was basketball or baseball. But it was big in Brooklyn, just not our kind of Brooklyn. No, it was never big. It's never big here. But amongst Latinos, it's huge. Yeah, but they didn't get here until recently.

Right. When we were kids, there wasn't that many around. Oh, that's right. In the 50s. Puerto Ricans weren't even into it. Puerto Ricans came big in the 50s. Yeah, Puerto Ricans are in a boxing. Puerto Ricans are in a boxing.

Yeah, Puerto Rico. Does Puerto Rico have its own soccer team or would their players be on our team? On the U.S. team. Like the best Puerto Rican player would theoretically play for. the United States. No, no, no, because Puerto Rico plays internationally as a basketball team. They could play as a soccer team. Yeah, why wouldn't they play on Team USA?

Because, you know, they're part of the USA. We treat Puerto Rico like a Gumma. It's what it is. We don't have the, like, you're not my wife, but you're my side piece. Got it. Yeah. So America just treats Puerto Rico on the off nights, I'm with my Gumma. Yeah, they don't let them all the way in to the life.

It's what it is. You come to my wedding, I'll smush your cake in your face. Yeah, we treat Puerto Rico like, hey, I'm with you, but I'm with you, but I'm I can't be seen what you in public. I can't be seeing what you in public, babe. Don't take any pictures with it. But you do got a nice fat ass. You got a fat ass, and it's about it.

But yeah, their big sport is boxing. Boxing is big. Yeah. And I didn't know that the Puerto Ricans created salsa from Cuban music. Well, I learned that from the commercial. No, that's circulating. And I think something, and what Brazil was Japanese judo went to Brazil and they turned it into jujitsu. Jiu Jitsu.

And then reggaeton was also something that was. Tomi, Jamaicans, and coming into a Spanish country. Yeah. So that's cool. So the World Cup evolved along with television. 1954, first televised World Cup, 1970, first broadcast in color worldwide. And then, you know, that's really where soccer takes off internationally. Now, what are the theories of why it never really got big here?

And I think it will get, I think that soccer's on its way to get the biggest it's ever gotten in America. And it probably is right now. But I still don't think it'll ever be as big. as it is in Europe and what are the theories? I think it will because I didn't know that MLS, like I also said in the bonus episode, patreon.com slash hasri- Rian. MLS is up

60% of viewership. Because you know, Messi came and plays in Miami. He basically lives in Miami. So I think that's big. He's still good too. I mean, let's be on. He's still one of the best players in the world. He's tied for the most goals in the tournament right now. Him Mbapapapé and Holland. Yeah, he's like the

Djokovic of soccer. He's still good, he's 40. But he always looked 40, which is hilarious. When he was 18 he looked 40. Dude, I thought, because he's got the kind of head and face that you think he's fat, but he's shredded, bro. He's shredded, but his face just looks like you hired him to do your taxes. It's just what it is.

Yeah, he just doesn't look like an athlete. So soccer didn't take off in the U.S. primarily because American sports culture formed early around baseball, football, and basketball. Those are the American sports. Yeah. That's what it is. We like to throw the ball. Yeah. We like to hit the ball.

Yeah. We like to put the ball through a hoop with our hands. We're not into using our feet. I'm not kicking a ball. Yeah. I'm not. The only thing that I'm doing is I'm kicking people out of our country. We like to use our feet to kick them out.

Yeah. That's what old school people said. But I got to be honest with you do, if I could do it over, when I was walking around World Cup yesterday, if I could do it over, I would have really tried as hard as I could to put all my effort into soccer. I think in the 90s, if you were really good soccer player, you had a chance to get a soccer scholarship and you had a chance to get...

Like, I felt like one of the easiest paths to become a professional in the 90s was soccer because not that many people are playing. Now so many people are playing. But you know what's interesting about soccer? What I love about soccer about the Premier League and the La Liga, you know, because it's interesting.

There's not just one NBA equivalent in soccer. It's like Europe has... England has a league that's like the NBA. France has a league that's like... like the NBA and Spain has a league that's like the NBA. Those are the big ones. And there's no draft. Like they, these kids get scouted. Like Messi was being looked at when he was six years old. Holland was being looked at when he was six years old because there is no draft because if you suck in your league, then you get relegated to a lower league. So that is real consequences.

Like imagine your favorite NBA team is not in the NBA anymore. So you can't tank. You can't try to get the top pick. There is no top pick. There is no draft. You just have to almost be, so that's where in a way like the corruption begins early because there must be players that are better than certain other players, but because of political reasons, they don't get picked for the national team or they don't get put into the, you know, club system of these, you know, these Manchester United's of the world because they just don't know the right people. Right. Where like the NBA draft is like if you're good enough, theoretically like you'll get into a college and your talent will speak for itself. But here, it's just very, very, it's completely

different thing. Yeah. And look, I just don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear, and this is what I don't want to hear. Because I'm the U.S. goalkeeper. You can talk to me honestly. Yeah. Because if you don't, if I don't like something that you say that I'm going to save it. And I'm going to block it. Okay. I just don't want to hear. Listen, the rest of the world is lucky. They are lucky that our athletes haven't taken to soccer the way they have. to football. Yes. And especially football.

Yep. All right. But basketball as well, because you look at that, you look at, what's his name? Viking head. Holland. The kid's 6'5. All right. If you just put LeBron James the way he runs, he doesn't even need that foot coordination,

just on headers, on corner kicks, right? Just on corner kicks. How many corners, you just put him out there and they'll be climbing on him. They'll try to move him. 100%. I agree. He just head it right the fuck in there. I agree with him.

You'd have to knock him over. You're not going to stop this kid. Yeah. And then give me Barry Sanders. Put Barry Sanders on a pitch. Yeah. I want to see Barry Sanders on a pitch. Yeah.

Can you imagine if Barry Sanders picked up soccer as opposed to football with the way he could cut like that? Yeah. He'd be the greatest football player that ever fucking lived. So I don't want to hear it. What's the guy? What's the guy? What's the guy? What's the guy?

The fastest wide receiver? Tarika. Tarik Hill. Yeah. What is he? 5-10? So you know he's compact. He's got the soccer player.

I mean, just running, I mean, what are we talking about? Because the one thing I noticed being at the World Cup, soccer is very, very physical. Very physical. It's an insanely physical game. These guys are running into each other. They're hitting each other. They're fighting for position. I didn't realize how crazy it honestly was.

But I agree with you. Our athletes are stronger than the soccer players. Like these guys, our football players, if you talk to him out of kick a ball, they would hurt some other. Now, look, the rest of the world has caught up in basketball. So we got to catch up at soccer. We need to do that because, listen, I mean, it's pretty amazing that the best basketball, like probably, you'd say the top three, four, best five, best basketball players in the world are now not born in the United States. Yeah. I mean, it's the first time ever that's ever happened.

You got, Shea Gildos, Alexandra. Keep it. Let's go with it. Yeah. You got Jokic. Yeah. You got Dantzich. Wembe.

You got Wembe. You got Yannis. Yep. And all five of those guys. The best American we got is Jalen Brunce. I mean, yeah. He's our guy. I mean, it's crazy to think how hard we used to dominate.

So it just shows that if you just get the country into it. Oh, Tatum. We got Tatum. Tatum. But, I mean, he's not even close to these guys. Right. He's not even close to those guys. Because Zock Doc, I use Zock, that's where I make all my doctor's appointments.

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I mean. Yeah, I mean, but so, but but so with with football, with football, I will say, One thing that I, you know, the game too, like they really, these guys like really like respect the game and the fans like, it's all about like respect in soccer. Like Diego Maradona said in 2018 and it came to fruition when it got announced that the United States would be in Canada and Mexico would be hosting 2026 World Cup. He was like, watch what they're going to do. And it's a real thing. I thought it was AI, but it's real. He said, you know, I'm paraphrasing his quote, but he was like, they're going to make it into court.

orders and they're going to ruin the integrity of our game to make money. And that's what happened. They have these hydration breaks now, which is not a part of normal soccer. It's only for the World Cup. And they cited it as, oh, some teams are playing in 100 degree plus weather. They need to have water. And then they said, you know what? Because it's not going to be fair, where we do it for some teams, not others. Let's just make hydration breaks a part of this World Cup. And it really messes with the flow of the game because the part of the, it's running time. Like soccer, the clock never stops, even in the hydration breaks, when they go to commercial, the clock is still running in real time. And so that hurt, like, that's, that, you literally change the flow of the game.

You can have a team on its heels. And then in 25 minutes, the ref is going to blow the whistle and give everybody a time out, which is not a part of the game. Well, but he tries to blow it when it's like a, when the momentum is shifting. Or he tries to blow it. But my point is, though, he tries to blow it. Yeah, he won't stop. He won't stop it during momentum, I'm saying.

but that's not a part of the game. You shouldn't be doing that. And Maradona said, America's going to ruin the fabric of our sport by being greedy. And he was right. He said it in 2018, and then they made up a BS excuse. No real soccer fan thinks that this is okay, the hydration.

Right. They know it's for money. Right. And the players don't. The players hate it too. The players are like, I heard a player from a country that was eliminated already. He said,

you're seeing more people cramp and get hurt because you're stopping our flow. We don't need water. We've conditioned our... They also have playing much hotter. You think it's not hotter in freaking Argentina? Of course it's hotter there. Oh, actually, that's more of a cold climate, right? Argentina in the mountains?

I don't know. Well, it's, you know, yeah, that's... But my point is, is it is Maradona was right. It's these hydration breaks, they've changing football, and I wonder if in the next world cup, with Spain and Morocco and Portugal, if they're going to not do that. Because everybody's against it,

besides American corporate greed. Yeah, well, we need, you know, America, we need to make a couple dollars. Yeah, and that's what I'm saying. It's like, I, where I understand and I do kind of acknowledge what you're saying is, yes, but you're saying it from the confines of my country. So I only got one question for you. Where's your papers? That's it.

You're right, though. I see what you're saying. And, you know, the thing that's interesting about FIFA, which is, you know, runs the international soccer, right? which happens every four years or whatever, is that because soccer is such a popular global sport, the most popular sport in the world. By far. Every country is vying to get, you know,

they submit. So the process is what we should go over because it's very interesting. And that's how the corruption slipped in so well, is because these FIFA officials were going like, give me money. Right. Everyone wants money. Right, because they're saying,

you know what, we need the hydration breaks. It's important for the players to stay hydrated. We don't want them playing in hot climates. And you say, well, where's the World Cup at 2030? Saudi Arabia. In the middle of the desert in June. Yeah. Everyone just, you just, it's a bidding process, so they meet, right?

And they had to make changes because there was, the FBI, I think, was the one who cracked the massive corruption. Like, guys went to jail with FIFA, right? Huge corruption. Because they were taking, there were grease in their pockets? Wasn't it in the 90s? It was huge. huge corruption and then they try to fix it. But how do you, when you have that incentive, how do you, it's almost impossible to get rid of, so it was, no, it was actually 2015.

It wasn't in the 90s, I'm sorry. So, but it's sadowning. But it spans decades, right? So it's happened way before 2015. 2000 50s when they cracked it. So I'm probably not wrong in saying the 90s was probably a dense decade of corruption. but they found the DOJ racketeering indictments. So this was just the 2020,

the conversation surrounding FIFA's corruption has been reignited due to a major controversy during this World Cup. The political interference allegations media reports revealed the U.S. president directly called, you're right, President Gianni, Infantino to request a review of the ban,

backlash and integrity concern. But this has nothing to do. Well, he said that Trump said that the FIFA president that it wasn't just Gianni Infantino that it's a whole committee of people. But I'm telling you the way that this, what do you think that the committee

Infantino probably told the committee you better reverse this because Trump's probably threatened me with something. Yeah. What do you think? It's just because there's so much money on the line. Because look, here's the truth, guy. is I, even though this is favorable to the United States, and we're talking, you know, the game is tonight.

So by the time this episode comes out, there would have already been a result. And I'm hoping that the United States won. I am the goalkeeper. But I, it isn't right that he was reinstated. It just, it's sucked. He shouldn't have got the red card in the first place. He really, but it does, it does just show you the arbitrary rules of the FIFA where it's like, you shouldn't be allowed to be reinstated.

I'm happy that it's going for us and I'm happy that he's playing. But I get like Wayne Rooney of England and a lot of, you know, soccer players are like, yes, there shouldn't have been a red card, definitely, but a red card was called. And now FIFA to just say, because FIFA didn't wipe it out, FIFA just said it's suspended for a year. So he's going to have to serve some kind of suspension in a FIFA in a U.S. sanctioned qualifying game next year. I disagree. I think it's what you call good old United States efficiency and justice. It's what it is. what I think because the Europeans, they have this, oh, that's a foul, that's not a foul. You call it over

there, call it was a bullshit call. Right. It was a bullshit call. Like I said, the guy didn't even fucking on the field pull a yellow. Now, so he's probably fucking paid off. Now, if Trump was really funny, and he would have done this a year ago, and I hope that maybe he still has time to change it. Maybe he'll do it at least for the final at MetLife, is if he was really funny, he would make the soccer balls Joe Biden's face. If he was really funny, what he would do is He would say from now on it's called Trump World Cup. Yeah. And he slapped his name on it.

Would that be funny though if you had Biden and Kamala? That would be very funny. And Ruth Bader Ginsburg as the faces on the balls? You would laugh at that, right? Yeah. So this is how the corruptions worked. And that was... Tell me how the corruption works right now, you handsome motherfucker.

2015, it was revealed, right? But so basically you got a relatively small group of executives that can influence who receives TV rights, sponsorship contracts, tournament marketing rights. And in separate alleged schemes, votes connected with World Cup hosting because it's like you, you know how much money you're pouring into that country if the World Cup is there? Right. People come from all over. Big money. Huge money.

So private companies wanted those rights. So a sports marketing company might make millions by obtaining exclusive rights cheaply and then reselling broadcasting and sponsorship packages around the world. So what was happening was the company secretly paid the decision makers. And the payment was disguised through intermediaries, shell companies, offshore accounts, false contracts, and layered bank transfers. And in return, the FIFA officials helped steer the valuable rights towards that company. So prosecutors described this as a long-running system in which bribes and kickbacks became part of doing business. Right.

And the FIFA officials protected one another politically. FIFA governance depended heavily on national football associations. regional blocks. A president who maintained loyalty among federation leaders could remain politically powerful while officials further down the structure controlled valuable regional tournaments and commercial rights. So it was backdoor dealings to grease each other's hands. This is the problem.

The problem with human nature ultimately is people want more money. That's what it is. They want more money. No matter what the system is, people are going to want a little more for themselves. I ask yourself, and you know what you have to say to yourself, baby gorgeous. You know, you have to say when it comes to money and finance, you have to say whatever it is that you're buying, what is that costing you with your life? You know, like you want to buy a nice house?

Okay, how much of your time are you going to have to dedicate to it? You want to buy, you know, yourself nice sneakers. It's like how much of that risk does that put you out? What is the cost? How much of your life are you willing to trade for it? And that's what it is. But people want more money, but then they don't want to trade parts of their life for it. Well, it doesn't work that way, hon.

Well, that also, you know, when you look at Greece in 2008. I want to take a good look at Greece in 2008. It's a perfect example, right? So it was like everyone, the body politic, the people wanted all the benefits they wanted for, but nobody wanted to pay for it. Right. So that's essentially what it is. It's like we want it, but we don't want to pay for it. Right.

We don't want it. And so what people were doing, it became a word in Greece called filakia. You give a little envelope. Filakke. People want things off the books. They're like, hey, I want this paid in cash so the government won't take the taxes. but I also, I don't want to pay my taxes, but I want the benefits for my taxes. But back to this for one second.

So how this got cracked, an American football executive named Chuck Blazer became a cooperating witness after U.S. investigators pursued him. His cooperation helped investigators penetrate the system from inside. So the U.S. came in, the U.S. came in and cracked this international bullshit the same way we overturned that red card that was unjust because we were about justice, freedom, and the American way. Yeah. Yeah. So Chuck Blazier sounds like a scumbag.

Yeah. So the investigation followed payments moving through the United States financial system, giving American prosecutors jurisdictional hooks for racketeering wire fraud and money laundering charges. Then, 2015 at the luxury bar, Alouk Hotel in Zurich, sounds like the start of a movie. Swiss authorities arrested seven football officials there at the request of the United States authorities. We are the police of the world because we're the only ones who are. moral. We're good people. We're good people. Just before FIFA's Congress, the U.S. simultaneously unsealed indictments against nine football officials and five corporate executives.

Set Blatter, who was, I guess the head was not charged in that original U.S. indictment, but the scandal destroyed the political order around him. He announced his resignation shortly after winning re-election and separate FIFA ethics proceedings later banned him from football-related activities. Yeah, so FIFA was scummy, but supposedly they're a little bit better now. Yeah, well, this was the turning point. Yeah. And it's amazing that the United

States, so as recently as 2025, a U.S. appeals court reinstated convictions in a related soccer rights bribery case showing how long the litigation. So the deeper story here is the structure of FIFA itself, it seems like, you know,

help make, they were like a mafia protected themselves. Right. And they just continued the corruption because it worked so well for it. Works so well. And it worked for everybody. And the companies and the countries that were benefited, you know, they were like, this system works. I pay you a little more. You take a little off the side. But then that money comes into my country, into my pocket. So it's like, how do you avoid? People are just always going to do that. But that's what's interesting too with soccer. It's like the duality of it because you have such the most corrupt governing body of it's FIFA. I think it's, you know, everybody else would admit that. But then the game itself is so beautiful and the fans of the game

are just so passionate. I mean, they cry at the national anthem. They respect the sanctity of the game in a level that other teams, other sports don't. So it's interesting to have such a corrupt governing body, but then such a passionate kind of fan base. And, you know, the players too are, they care about the integrity of the game. They can, you know, they try to help each other up. You don't see fights that much. They don't really talk shit. I mean, they do a little bit, but not like other sports. Yeah. You know, it doesn't seem like they're in it so much for the money.

I mean, they make a lot of money at the top. Don't get me wrong, but they're not like having holdouts, like the American athletes. They don't really do that. They play for their club. They take a lot of pride in playing for their club, a lot of pride in playing for the country. Like, we have athletes in our country that are like, I'm going to sit out the Olympics. They would never do that in Europe. They would be like that would be a sin.

Well, we don't. Now that's changed, though, because we do have the best athletes playing on the basketball. I'm happy then we're back. And we're back because of one person, one person only you know who it is. It's Steph Curry. Yeah. Steph Curry. That's what you is.

But ranked, if you rank sports on a corruption meter, soccer is number one. Who's two? Number two, you'd have to go probably boxing. Oh, sure. Yeah. And then the Olympics. Yes. Because there's been serious bribery and host selection scandals.

And soccer, like, I don't think it's anything inherent about soccer. That's not what I'm saying. it's just by virtue of it's a byproduct of how popular it is because you're talking about global fucking money. If you wanted to stop a war and you want to do that,

put the world, I'm serious. They should one year put the World Cup in Israel and Palestine. Put it between those two countries and you'll watch how it'll just stop a war because all the fans, everybody will come together,

you bring so much happiness and joy and it might make people think like oh, maybe I shouldn't do it. You know what I really think we should do? Start doing the World Cup. in war-torn countries like it's in, you know, Ukraine and Russia, and then you watch them come together, and then it's going to be very hard to come together for that event and then go back to fighting.

It would look, you would feel so stupid if you did that. I think that, and I think my new rule, if I became El Presente of the United States or FIFA, any type of big government thing, whether you're the president of FIFA, whether you're the president of the United States, president of any country. You know what I would make everybody do? Everybody, when you become president, you have to do ayahuasca. Everybody's got to do ayahuasca and open up the third eye. Yeah.

And then you tell me, once you got that third eye wide open, you tell me if you're going to go to war, you tell me if you're going to try to, you know, hurt your own people. Every leader should do ayahuasca. That's a rule. You know what the problem is you have the leader aspect, but then you get the people aspect. So if you did it, Israel, Palestine, and, you know, they would all stop to watch it. They'd stop going to war. But if the Palestinians lose, and this is what's good about your point, is if the

Palestinians lost and one of the Palestinian players made a mistake, then the Palestinian people would kill that team. That's the problem. And if the Israelis did the same thing, the Israelis would kill the other Israelis. The only problem I could see especially with a game being in Palestine is saying

like you would be watching the game and you say what looks weird and you say, oh they're playing That's the issue. The soccer ball would have a yarmul on it and that would be the problem Right, because and that's just not okay and we would have to have sanctions against that right? Because the thing is, you've got to deal

with the due to job people, right? The due to job people are the fans, these are people who do the job. Those are the people who build the aqueducts, do whatever you say, and they, it tends to, even though it's a sport, the shitty nature of humans just tends to come out because they riot, they hit each other. And also in 1994 at the World Cup,

a Colombian defender accidentally scored his own goal against the United States and Columbia lost the match to 1 and Columbia was subsequently eliminated from the group stage and then we all know what happened to that gentleman afterwards because just that's how serious people take soccer

so you say it's just a sport but to these people it's not no no no I will now Pablo Escobar shot the guy one no no no Pablo the guy was killed because Pablo Escobar had already been killed Pablo Escobar would have

would have not allowed this to happen to And Escobar. If Pablo Escova was alive, I believe Andres Escobar would not have been killed. But I think either Pablo Escobar had just been killed. Oh, this had nothing to do with Pablo Escobar. No, no, just same last name. But Pablo Escobar, I think, had been either arrested already or Pablo Escobar wasn't around. And I know part of it is people say that Escobar, Pablo Escobar would have not allowed this to happen. Yeah. Or if it would have happened, you know, some people would have been killed because he was, you know, very, he loved the Colombian soccer team.

Right. The killing followed an argument in which Escobar, the player in question, was taunted about the own goal and gambling losses having long been suspected as part of the background. It's one of the darkest stories. Yeah, I mean, but that, but I will tell you other sports are just a game, like to me, even the big sports, even basketball. Soccer is not. And after experiencing a World Cup, you realize just from the emotion of the fans, I mean, if you're crying at the national anthem, it's not just a game. It means something like the countries like imagine a country like Columbia who's still in the World Cup wins the World Cup for the first time it's history that changes the economy for them like that it's a different it is so much more than game that's why I think the World Cup use that to help humanity go to a war torn country and put the World Cup there yeah make it it's it it'll be safe so it's sort of like a first round draft pick you put it in the shittiest place and it picks them up the next World Cup, fine. Portugal and Morocco and Spain already

have that one. Then Saudi Arabia's got the next one. But the one after that, go to Ukraine, go to Russia, go to Jerusalem. Ooh, because let's talk about insurance for your pets. AspCA pet health insurance program. If you've

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www.sleep.m.me slash hyenas. wake up hot and tired again. But how do you deal but how do you deal with the human rights abuses of those countries? Are you tacitly ignoring those approving them by allowing

the World Cup to go to those countries and that takes us to 2022 where the World Cup was in Qatar and well they gave the Qatar gave its citizens you know jobs to build the stadiums and they did it all by the books and you

Those workers were given job. They did it by the book, and that book was called the Quran. Wayson. And that book said, it's okay to have slaves. It's what it is? Because essentially that's what the controversy was about. Because make zero mistake about it, Qatar and Saudi Arabia just kind of has slavery.

They had a little thing, but they don't call it slavery. They call it something cute. It's called the Khafala system. where workers are trapped in guitar because of the Khafala, a little sponsorship system, and the rule tied a workers' legal visa to a single boss. Yeah. So not a slave owner, not a master,

a single boss and workers could not change their job or leave the country without their boss's permission, which usually wasn't granted. And bosses use this rule to force workers to work long hours with low pay. So you say, hello, my name is Kaffala Harris. I am your boss. loud point, dear. Yeah, and what happens is a lot of these guys die.

They never really get back home. The boss, it's basically, it's a workaround. It's a workaround. Well, we have another word for it. It's called a loophole. It's called a loophole. It's what it is. It's called a lupo.

You change the language a little bit, you know. You know, because here's the situation is Saudi Arabia had slavery, I think, till the 1960s. So the Beatles were playing music and Saudi Arabia still had slaves. I would argue that Saudi Arabia still has slaves. So I would say that it's probable that they still have slaves. Yeah, because they unfortunately just seems like they really enjoy it. It seems like something they like. And the United States, what happened is we started doing business when oil became.

It used to be what? They used to pearl dive. Pearl was their bigger thing. So they used slaves for the pearl diving and then it became oil. and we started doing business with them because when they were doing the pearl diving and they were using slaves, we didn't really care as much.

Again, it's not called slavery. It's called the Kaffala system, and they have a little song called Kaffala la la la la la la la la la la la slaves. Kafa la la la la la la la la la la la la la slaves. So it's just, listen, guy. But they only got rid of actual slavery because we said, hey, you can't do that anymore.

It's one of those things where you call it slavery, I call it kafala, it's tomatoes, tomato. The people over there will pick whichever one you like. Yeah, it's, it's forced labor, right? It's what, Nick, would you call that slavery? Because the employer controls the visa, the job, the housing, the passport, wages, and the person's ability to leave or change jobs. I mean, that sounds good to me. You know what's wild, though? I did do some research on the Khafala system and learned a little bit about it.

What's crazy is how we look at this as like, okay, that's slavery and it's an injustice. It's very similar to how things were 250 years ago. During modern slave times, we look at slavery as barbaric now and how could people do that. But during the time, it felt just like this. We're like, we know what's happening, but nobody's doing anything because they're saying it's not slavery. Same thing with the South. They would say, no, no, no, it's not what you think. And we just allowed it to happen.

Isn't that wild? Because 200 years from now, they'll look at this and be like, how barbaric was that in the world just watched. Yeah. But it's where, so it's like you would talk to somebody from the 1800s and be like, when they were living there was just over there. Very interesting, right? Right. How like nobody's the villain in their own story ever. I will always make things okay in my mind.

So the Khafal system is okay. But it's not okay. Right. Well, I don't think it's not okay in every way if you have a, if you're in international human rights. Which I am very into. It just depends. It's the thing culture kind of just gets in the way.

Like, you know, unfortunately, it's just historically accurate to say that, you know, in traditional Islamic law, slavery was a go. Right. Slavery got the green light. It was just a go. So when they had to get rid of it, it was because of Western pressure. They weren't really into it. Nobody who has slavery loves giving it up. No.

Because it's really great to have someone do to work for you and they can't say anything about it. You just can't do anything. There's certain benefits that come from that. So, you know, Khafala is not exactly slavery, but, you know, it's a migrant labor system. Kauffa la la la la la la. So, you know, it's tied to. It's a sponsor. It's a sponsor.

Older Arabian protection sponsorship. Sponsor. Islamic legal concepts of guarantee. Hey, listen. Is a part of Khafala, can you confiscate someone's passport? Sure. Yeah. Can you withhold their wages?

Sure. Can you force confinement? Sure. Can you psychologically or physically abuse them? Absolutely. But it's not slavery. You piece of shit. Yeah.

This is a good act. summation. Kamala did not directly originate. Not Kamala, kafala. Khafala. Khaala did not directly originate as a Quranic slavery law, but it developed in a region, this is what I'm trying to say politically correct. It developed in a region whose legal and social traditions had long accepted slavery and extreme dependency relationships, and the modern system can reproduce slave-like control when a worker's legal system is placed in the hands of a private sponsor. Thank you. Yeah, that's it. So, Saudi Arabia's Vision 2030.

They're abolishing Khafala, and they began dismantling the traditional Khafala system, and they replaced it with a modernized, electronically regulated contractual model. So now, you know what I mean? Yeah. It's just not the same. I mean, Dubai was built by slaves.

It's what it is. They got real nice hotels. People just, they forced to work, and a lot of them just die. It's just how it is. But listen, you know, It's like sometimes my daughter really likes a toy and she's being bad and I try to take the toy. She really doesn't want to let go of the toy.

It's just what it is. If you come from a tradition for over a thousand years where you had slavery, it's not something you're just going to be able to rip out of their hands. It's just. They're just going to go, okay, we can't do that? But can we do this, which is that? And you go, that's still that. And they go, no, it's this. And we go, but we think it's that.

Guy, it's just what it is. Yeah. Now, I'm not saying it's a good thing or a bad thing. I'm not saying it's a good thing or a bad thing. It's a thing. It's just a thing. And what we do here is we report on the state of the world. We are the news.

The United States men, by the time you're hearing this, would have beaten Belgium. You ready for this? Two nothing. I'm saying that they're going to beat Belgians two nothing. And then the winner, the problem with the United States beating Belgium is then things start to get a little hairy because they're going to have to either play Portugal or Spain, and that's no bueno. And then after that, if they win that, they're going to have to play France, which is really

not good. Yeah, so it's really But you know The Knicks won the championship Why can't the United States Well, because they have no fucking chance That's why But here's the deal

As long as we I'm a little The only team I'm scared of is Morocco And I'll show you why Can you just pull up the player Who Did the cut off your head sign And then yelled Ali Akbar

Because those are the guys I think that is scariest Yeah and if you're scared of the Moroccan Winning then don't go to Astoria Because every time Astoria wins, the Moroccan fans. Have you seen Morocco take over Astoria? I haven't been to Astoria since it's become Morocco.

Yeah. Yeah. Used to be Greek. Yeah. But the Ottoman Empire happened in Queens. Yeah. It's just what it is. So who's the player? So. There's a guy on the Iraqi team named Ali Akbar.

Yeah. By the way. A rocket soccer player do head cutoff motion. Yeah. By the way, the World Cup is, you know, we talked about it. I didn't realize a guy from Cape Verde wanted for grape. A guy from France. I'm sorry, a guy from Morocco wanted for grape. Yeah, that guy right there, he's like their best player. Yeah, he's wanted for grapes. Yeah. He's wanted for grapes. A guy in Japan wanted for grape. Yeah, go video. A guy in Ghana wanted for grape. Yeah. Five different women for the one from Ghana. Yeah. So it's kind of wild. Yeah. I don't know where it is. But he did it this World Cup? Yeah, this one. Oh, is this man, respect for El Al-Une? Go 2026.

Maybe that'll help. Yeah, I mean. Well, they don't want you to see it. Right. It's Google, Google makes it. We'd like to see it. Hold on. Moroccan, Moroccan player,

slicing on throat motion. You really, really, you really can't get it. I bet you TikTok will show it. Yeah, I got it right here. Yeah, there it is. There it is. Oh, yeah, it's that one. Any of those?

No, no, no. Yeah, this one. Rock and play. Yeah, disturbing throat gesture. There it is. This is fun. Did you say Al-Awokbar? Yeah, he says Al-Awakbar.

Yeah. People get excited. people yeah people celebrate in different ways undertaker yeah undertaker yeah used to do that now Google Morocco

win Astoria yeah yeah yeah the whole Ali Akbar and then the the throat slicing thing for me it's like violence with sex

people celebrate in different ways they just do people celebrate in different ways yeah like people you know some people like getting hit during sets some people like yelling

glory to God while they blow things up yeah so this is yeah Morocco fans celebrate on Steinway Street after Morocco won so I think you know some of the residents

of historical have been saying that they really hope Morocco doesn't be friends. Oh my God. So, yeah. They're just happy, though. 100%. There's no violence. They're just happy.

That's fun. Yeah. No problem with that. Kids dancing. No problem. Yeah, and then the NYPD shows up. Okay. Now it's starting to get a little excited.

Yep. Now we've got some smoke bombs. Okay. Now it's starting to get a little bit of. A lot of ahead. Christians. Okay. Now it starts to get a little excited. Well, now somehow it just turned into October 7th footage.

It's just what is cheating. So, yeah, guy, I mean, look, people get excited. World Cup is amazing. Patreon.com slash history hyenas is amazing. We always love to read out the names of the fans who've joined the Patreon. And we get so many people joining each week that I know that people are upset that they haven't heard their name yet. You have to listen each week because we are a little behind, not because of us, because if you guys, thank you so much, you're joining it in droves that we can't possibly read out all the names every single week.

Of course, best name, funniest name, wins the PPW, the pseudopinus of the week, because hyenas have pseudopinuses and they give birth through their female genitalia. They're the only trans animal that we recognize. Patreon.com says history hyenas. Can I just point out one thing about the Moroccan celebration? Yes. It seems like a commenter accurately noted that there's not a woman in sight. Right. And that is accurate.

That is accurate. Look at the Colombian. Columbia celebrating on Northern Boulevard on Friday night. It was just like that except there were women. I can assure you that. Yeah. Yes. I think, yeah, that's exactly the point.

I think that that. Yeah, it shows you difference in cultures a little bit. I will tell you what. Columbia, I'm sorry, Ecuador versus was it Mexico last week. I went down to Roosevelt Avenue, which is known to have the brothels in Queens. And they were empty. So I had to, you know, pay to blow. guy. So,

here it is. Okay, so starting off, call me chairman the way I put Zadong in her mouth. That is, call me the chairman the way I put my Zadong in her mouth, M-A-O-T-H. Really

good. Really good, but it doesn't work though, but good. But what you call that is a, that's the definition of a great chicken finger. Simple and easy, but also very good. Megan Orr, then we have butt Let's call him Kool-Aid jammers. Can we stop?

Out of poor, Jesus Christ. Sorry about that. Yeah. Fucking Christ. Praise Allah, death. Get it out of here. Hunter Hart, Zach Jones. Chris Hanson, make no mistake.

I'm still coming over gay in one hole for now. Yeah. Thai Urban. Ty Urban. Ryan Lyshinchinski. Captain Kelly. Chrissy D. Looks like a gay boxer.

Muhammad, I'll eat your dick. Drexler. Black don't crack, but I... Oh, geez, right. What is wrong with you, people? Nozy Leroy, call me curious, George. Jesus. What did he say?

Why is this happening? Stop. Stop. Stop doing it. Brandon Seaman. Chrissy, congrats on doing the right thing. Jen O'Neill. Brandon Trivet.

Leroy. Jesus. Just sometimes we get one of the, I think, I think we just a bunch of racists join at the same time. I'm sorry about this guys. Got a enema using Smithtown water and only cost me $3. Very good. Drexler. Mamdani's pastrami, aka Rama Duwaji's roast beef curtains.

Okay. Okay. Tiff. Mo had concubines, so I fly Instagram Toots to Dubai. Okay. Okay I'll Drexler it I want to put it on the list

It's very funny but you know Grand Hitchcock AOC's goofy nipples Ching Chong with Black Dong Okay Get your old droog on the pod What Sam Nix

Alicia Emily Girth Raven Christopher Dawson Mike Reardon Sush Bos Bitch ass Knickerbacher Okay Okay. Nicholas Yiden, John Jaggett, Gil Valencia,

Reed Bio, Natalia Golsama Zaya, Cook, my side piece is trans, so I call her my gloomar. Okay. We had a glumar before. Hillary Trager, Antonio Asencio,

Grock called me a Leroy, so I left my family. Way-sung-Chi-N-Ean. Okay. I like my squeaks, uncookable, unclipped spooge-strippings, Leslie, Richie-Ritch, drag striker.

I mean, we are going long without one making the list. I know. By the way, real quick, just... Yeah, who won? Before I forget, I just want to read out who won last week. I forgot to do it during the episode. But the winner was by 59% to 41% got a couple of guys competing to do my taxes called Ultimate Frisbee. Wow.

You are the winner. Yeah. So... All right. That's not what I picked. But they are the winner. Okay. Shout out to they call me the sphincter of the action.

They call my sphincter the action figure, guillotine, any other day. Any other day, but that is the winner. So go to History of Hainez is Back.com. You are the winner. She had the name up in lights. Okay. Then we got BT. Then we got Father Bill.

It's still at large. Hashtag never forget. Leroy James King of the Sealing Crickets in Newports. Way Song She ain't. She'd almost give it to them because of Leroy's ceiling cricket, but I'm a Drexler. Preston, Karen. Lance Wright, Marcel Mueller, Ler, Leroy Jenkins, reach for the service.

Okay, Josiah Holman. She might leave me since I come to Grock every night, Slocay S. Mm-hmm. Mayo Monkey, but black from the credit score down. Latter 14. Okay. Counterfeit Frisbee, call me George Fentanyahu.

Way Song Xian. Okay. Jesus. Sarah LeBlanc, Basic, and White. P.A. Oh, like, Japanese Kenny. Japanese Kenny, what's up? Yeah.

Hard decision. That, that, that, that should I get a circumcision? Haley. Just tried my first P.B. and J and not talking about the sandwich. What did we say P.B. and J's were again? Yeah. What did we say? I don't remember.

Oh. Prison bottom in jail. Yeah. That's right. Prison bottom in jail. Okay. Right. I mean, that's interesting.

Yeah. I mean, this is the long. We might not. We might have one. We might not have one, which it happens. I mean, Mexico, Lawson Stadium, Aztec, sometimes this happens. Yeah. But nothing's good enough.

Dildo Baggins, hands jobs, the adrenochrome diet is better than keto. If my bug was any bigger, it would be a bigger chigger. Okay. Luke Madison, Halen Ogles. Sydney's Tweeney's Tits could never be that big under communism. It's what it is. Can't put them on the list. Okay, so finally we got one.

Got one. Good point. That's a good point. Yeah. And he's an American kid. Yeah, that's very funny. Here for the content. Peter Ophio.

Broderick Bornan, Rasmus, Astorborough. AOC fisted me so hard it became a quadriplegic. Okay. That's got it is. Yeah. Melted Six. Eric, Joseph Connors, Weishlong Sheehan. Mm-hmm.

Horn Pub. Hashtag screwed in Lusbury, Pennsylvania. Okay. Piss boner saved my marriage. I don't understand that. Asian pussy sideways Like Paul Giamatti I like the movie

Yeah Louis cheese Why does the flagrant Podcast smell better now Ladd 14 You know what It's what it is It's what it is It's a joke

It's a joke It's what it is Okay Don't read my name please Nick Shoyani Moslow's hierarchy If Human Needs Maslow

hierarchy of human needs I don't know Naslo's Maslow's hierarchy of human needs Nick Shome I don't know It's probably some sort of Maslow? Yeah it's a

theory on On your needs Once you're at past survival It's something Yeah it's like out there Yeah All right David Broad

Gay for you two On Lebron Hey babe was shit Getty Lee Weppo Do you need a Fritbee to ride the J train Did you have Frisby to ride the Jew train

Cray train yeah Captain Glu Albaano Glu Albano Nice We had that we had that Might have Yeah Um

Squeeze Waysong Shane Willson Lodens Piano And then last but not least Half Black Half Jew Call me Jerry Carl Seinfeld

We have one We only have one And it's a good one though And it is a good one But the first time In the history of the show Since the first In 2018.

I don't think we've ever had this. This is never, folks, never happened. We're a winner. Now, it doesn't. Now, listen, that's just how it goes. You're playing so many games. Something's about to happen. I mean, you know, the best Yankees have finished in last place before.

It happens. But the only one that even made the list is the winner. One of one. Sydney's Sweeney's tits could never be that big under communism. It's what it is. Which is a great one. You are the winner and Sydney Sweeney is the winner and you can masturbate to her. She got banged out a lot on that show, Euphoria.

Yeah, and I will say there were other good ones, but they were ones that cannot go up in lights. So it just happened to be one of those lists. So congrats to you. Go to patreon.com slash history. For more bonus content. And we'll see you next week. Hey, y'all, it's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder what if?

Like, what if it doesn't hold up? That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what if. Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit Wayfair.ca. Fair, every style, every home.