History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - Tim Dillon is at the End

Episode Date: February 27, 2025

Yannis & Chrissie take a look at the life of P. Diddy and ask: What went wrong? Was he just an ambitious kid from New York who lost his way, or was he born with a leaky roof? They also dive into the music industry—how much abuse does it allow, and did #MeToo ever even touch it? And finally, Tim Dillon drops by to chat with the boys at the end. Support our sponsors: Right now, OpenPhone is offering 20% off of your first 6 months when you go to https://OpenPhone.com/hyenas. #comedy #Podcast #History Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas/ Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit.ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0 Hyenas Merch!!! https://teespring.com/stores/historyhyenas Follow us Cuz! 🙆🏻‍♂️ Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ 🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ 🐕More Hyenas Website: www.historyhyenasisback.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/historyhyenas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HistoryHyenas Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/historyhyenaspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How did we get here, Tim? How did we get to this point where people stopped getting thrown in hospitals? Yeah. You know, there was a time in this country where you didn't decide whether you went to the hospital. Someone else decided whether you went to the hospital. And I know that because of my mother. And then people started to go, you know what?

You get to decide when you go to the hospital. Sometimes you need a timeout and someone has to give you that timeout. Somebody has to say to you, you're going to take a timeout. You're going to go to this hospital. You're gonna take your shoes. What's up everybody? That's Chris, I'm Janis, and we are not going to prison for doing a lot of bad stuff.

Nobody, the only Rico we know is in your house. That's it. Yeah, because Rico, that's a good one. I got a couple of family members. There's going to be a couple of Rico's in my pool this summer. That's about it. Thank God for that. Thank God for that. Yeah. I mean, cause here's the thing. We're going to talk about Diddy a little bit on the page. I mean, the amount, can you just read off the crimes again? I think a lot of people know Diddy's fucked, but I don't think you know how fucked. I mean, they got him

on, on crimes that are like, what is one of them like? Just basically one of them is just like filming yourself having sex. Yeah. Non-consensual, non-consensual porno. I mean, that's the least. I mean, the diddler, he's the diddler. Maybe he changed his name to Diddy because if anyone changes their name, they did something bad. They wanted to reset. Like, know when Facebook turned to meta? Yeah. It's like, you know when, when, when, what's his name, Bruce Jenner changed to Caitlin? It was because Bruce Jenner killed the guy in a car. It's what it is. So when Facebook changed to meta, it was because they were taking all types of money from these Russian farms to promote all this stuff. They were doing all this bad stuff. Kids were

committing suicide and all that. And so Facebook just went, you know what? We didn't do that because we're meta. There is no Facebook. Just like Bruce Jenner said, there is no Bruce Jenner. I'm Caitlyn. Bruce Jenner killed that girl. I didn't kill that girl. It's very, very, very, very, very true when the kids just changed names. What I am, what is very interesting to me about Diddy, is he's been in prison now since the summer with all these, I mean, his lawyer just quit, and the kid still hasn't wound up dead or killed himself. So does that tell you that the kid just will never do it,

or he genuinely thinks he's gonna get out? I think generally black people don't kill themselves. When you look at the stats, it's like only white dudes like to kill themselves. What do you think it is? And white girls. What do you think it is? sun yeah i think we just get less sun yeah yeah so in your household you're going to be the one that offs yourself your family with more melanin they will stay they will stay and i'm going to off myself too because make

no mistake i'm getting pushed into a house and guarded city you don't want to be there you don't want to be in that house you want to be a wife go back to staten island yeah you want to go back to where things are familiar yeah when you said said that Chelsea Handler she looked at you like why we trying to be in Staten Island? Yeah. Like because I'm a Republican. Yeah and she was not. I think Chelsea Handler who knows when you're going to hear this the Chelsea Handler episode. We were planning on putting it out next week but then her PR person said can you please put this out March 25th it's Carlye Tithers Dispatch all and I said uh okay but we're probably not going to do it because the thing is by the way I like the PR guy a

lot you've shout out Paul from Lebanon good kid um I I but I think that um I couldn't tell if she liked us or not yeah I think she liked us but here's the deal I don't think she cares I think she's shut off she is shut off she shut off which is a good one that Yannis and I came up with on the phone the other day it's great and shut off so that just means when you just are shut off which is a good one that you honestly I came up with on the phone you came up with it It's great and shut off. So that just means when you just are shut off It just means that your personality shut the fuck off. Yeah, you don't feel too much. You don't really care too much You're just moving through life and you're pushing people out of the way is did he shut off? He is shot off. So you don't think you let me ask you this the lights are off

Do you think did he do you think the walls close in on him mentally when he wakes up every day in the prison or? He doesn't care. he's just adjusted his life to being in prison now? No, I think the walls close in because it's just, that's the one thing he wants to be able to do is abuse people and he can't, and now all his freedom to abuse people's been taken away. The kid loves power, that's what got him off.

I mean, that's what got him off. And you know what the crazy thing is? Right before this happened, right before this happened, anyone would kill to go to a Diddy party. Sure. It had such a good reputation. Sure. The white party, oh my god I want to go to the Hamptons and be part of the white party, I want to wear all white, I want to be in Diddy's house.

And everyone wanted to go. This kid was able to somehow, even though him and J.Lo fucking, did they murder a guy or they had a gun or something? I think something, I think they killed somebody, yeah. Yeah, I mean- Shine took the blame. Took the blame, I mean music people just get away with anything cuz I gotta be honest with you it's nice to not be in this world it's really nice it's real nice to not be in this world at all we never even are on the list for these types of things we will never get invited to this type of shit and it just feels nice I just don't

even listen to rap music anymore I just want a big separation between me and the rap world it's what it is yeah separation between me and the rap world. It's what it is. Yeah, because bad things happen to the rap world. Yeah, because it's nice to just put on old Hitler videos and throw in a little college dropout. Waste on cheating. Oh. Because he has allegations including sexual misconduct,

abuse, he's got forced labor, kidnapping, arson, bribery, obstruction of justice, non-consexual pornography. I mean, the kid's shoplifting. Somebody's going to read his, on their first day of court, they're going to read his charges, and then the judge is just going to do Tim Dillon voice. Not good. Now, here's the-

That's what's going to happen. Yeah. Here's a very funny thing. His lawyer's name, guess what his lawyer's name was? Anthony Rico. Oh yeah! Yeah, how funny is that? Is that the kid that quit?

The kid that quits name was Anthony Rico, which make no mistake is what they got Diddy on, Rico! The Rico act, now is Anthony Rico, Jesse, if we could pull it up, Anthony Rico, there's been big headlines why he quit, and they're trying to make it up, like, oh, it's because of this, because of that, but the real truth is that there's so much evidence against Diddy that there is no possible

way to win. And the kid just walked away. Yeah, because I think what happened is his lawyers, Diddy's lawyers, tried to get all the house rated evidence that they got. They tried to make it inadmissible at court. I don't think they won. I think his lawyer goes, if we can't do that, then what are we going to do? Yeah, because you know what happens too, I think with the law is like, if your client is so beyond

guilty with this, then you don't want the table start to turn on you. You're like, go down a little bit, Jess, so we can read. Because it's like, quit the music. His lawyer quit. Anthony Rico filed a surprise motion and withdraws one of Diddy's Plan 6 defense attorneys saying under no circumstance can I continue. Yes. So, yeah, scroll down just a little bit. I mean, Megan Markle, 25-year-old Megan Markle will get banged out. 35-year-old Megan Markle, she's so hot. Prince Henry will get, Prince Harry will get banged out.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, because he's redheaded, no fumes. Yeah, he's got zero fumes, but she is really, to me she's very beautiful. I mean, because this kid redheaded, no fumes. Yeah, he's got zero fumes, but she is really, to me, she's very beautiful. I mean, because this kid Anthony Rico defended terrorists. Yeah. He defended, look, he said, he said, he defended guys who were in Al-Qaeda. Yeah. He says, having knowledge of someone in Al-Qaeda is not a criminal act.

Many members of Al-Qaeda are not involved in criminal activity. So he was defending Al-Qaeda publicly and he said, no, thank you. That's how you know. That's funny. That's how you know how evil Diddy was and how much evidence there is. He said I can't continue under any circumstances and this guy fucking, he had Muhammad Atta. Because he defended the cops that shot and killed Sean Bell in 2008. He was like they didn't know what they were doing. But walked away from Diddy. He went into court of law and said did those planes hit that building?

I didn't see it. It was a hologram. It was a hologram. And then the kid, but now he always said client privilege prevents him from revealing the details. But Mr. Rico told the court in New York, although I have provided Sean Combs with a high level of legal representation expected by the court, under no circumstances can I continue to effectively serve as counsel for Sean Combs. These are sufficient reasons for brevity

in my application for withdrawal as counsel in the case. So will one day we find out what those reasons were? I think I can read between the lines. And I think what happened is they had a meeting in a law office in a private room, and I think Diddy tried to rape him. It's what it is. And he was like, I can't do this.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't know if Diddy can- And then Diddy brought in Justin Bieber, he said, you want to suck him off? Yeah, you want to suck him off. Now that kid, Justin Bieber, just doesn't do this. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know if Diddy can- And then Diddy brought in Justin Bieber, he said, you wanna suck him off? Yeah, you wanna suck him off. Now that kid, Justin Bieber, just doesn't look good right now. Well, he's starting to flip out towards the paparazzi now.

The paparazzi have, I've just saw an article that said, he was always nice to the paparazzi. Always. But now he's being aggressive towards them and yelling at them, because they're probably saying, every time they see him, did you suck Diddy's dick or not?

Yeah, if I was him, I would just get ahead of it and just like get ahead of it and be like look I'm a kid from Canada I don't know what's going on I came to the United States I said the n-word it's just what I did and yeah Diddy he used me like a fleshlight just come out and say I was Diddy's fleshlight for a little while. Yeah I mean I feel bad for the kid. The kid does not look great. He doesn't look good I feel bad for the kid but how could you not look great. He doesn't look good. I feel bad for the kid, but how could you? I mean, you're going through the shit, whether it's true or not, just the allegations are enough.

And it's one of those things where I'm telling you kids, not that I know, but you don't want to be famous like this. No, you don't. You just really don't. It's so much easier to just have your life be anonymous. It was interesting to hear Chelsea Handler say that she feels even at her level she's anonymous. Well, because she hear Chelsea Handler say that she feels even at her level she's anonymous. Well, because she's got like that great level. I mean, she's big like Burr, but Burr has

that same type of life where Burr walks around. I mean, he took a picture on the ground the other day where he was just walking by himself and he took a picture of an old cigar store he used to go to. He put it on the ground. He's like, I miss this place. I used to go in there and get a stick a lot. I've walked with Burr on the street and- He gets recognized. He gets recognized, but not a lot. Right and Nate told me It's like not it's gonna change now that he's on SNL and mainstream, right? But Graham K I asked cuz Graham K opens from all the time

He's like he doesn't get recognized a lot like you'd expect it be a lot more but comedy famous just it's more your fans It's more like there's a lot of people who still don't know who Nate Bargatzi is which is why unless and less right? It's not like it's not like Justin Bieber or Brad Pitt. Yeah. Ben Affleck. Even Kevin Hart. Kevin Hart. Kevin Hart who's like everybody knows. Yeah. It's just like you're going to walk down the street and you have to always have security with you at all times. But it is interesting though because it goes back to black people don't kill themselves. Black people don't handle fame as poorly as whites either. No. When black people are really famous, like Kevin Hart's not walking around like that.

Well, but Martin Lawrence was walking around naked with guns and shit like that and Cat Williams did do that as well. Yeah, but that's a little thing called crack. Which the blacks do like. Which they do that a little more. So that all upsets it, but if you remove crack from the equation, then the blacks do take fame a lot better than the whites because I think you know what it is. You know what I think it is too?

I think that in sometimes, and this is not just, like white people look for problems more, black people look for solutions more. Because their whole lives have been problems. Exactly. They feel being born black in America is in itself a problem. That's interesting. So they're like, how can I find a solution so when they get rich and famous, they're like, I found a solution where white people are like, problems. How do I come up with more problems?

They did find a big solution that blacks did. It's called marijuana. Yes. They love it. Yeah. They love to smoke marijuana. Yeah. They love to smoke marijuana. They love to get high. Yeah, and by the way, I just want to say to anyone who I know what I was saying, I was talking about like the grandiose of being white and saying the solution and that's not

good. No, you can't say solution. I didn't mean it like that. Yeah, there's one word that goes in front of that, that it's too close. It's too close. If you want to use solution, you got to say a solution. Or the specific solution. Or the specific solution. Right.

Or the intermediate solution. Yeah, you don't say the word that rhymes with spinal. Yeah, you want to go the immediate solution. You don't want to say the word that... Don't say any words in... begin with an F. Yeah, you don't want to say it... you know when there's two teams playing at the end of the NBA season, there's only two teams left? You don't want to mention that.

Yeah. You don't want to say that. Yeah. It's the second round solution. It's what it is. Yeah, that's what it is. Eastern Conference Championship solution. But it's what it is because, and yeah, and so the Kid Diddy, now the thing is with the Kid Diddy is he, you know, do you think that, here's the question, do you think that, somebody like P did, was he going to be a criminal with or without fame, or did fame make him a criminal? That's interesting. He was born in Harlem, 1969, raised by his mother.

By the way, we're not saying that you being born in Harlem automatically makes you a criminal. No, not automatically. Not at all. We're not saying it. Ten percent chance more. It just goes a little bit higher but that's just circumstantial. Circumstantial. Because you could also if you're born in certain parts of Staten Island you got a ten percent chance of going up to be a criminal too because the Mafia. Six or seven.

It's but still goes up. Still goes up. Yeah. So but here's the thing okay he was raised by his mother after his father's untimely death. So no father in the home. Got it. So no father in the home is big. Unfortunately, it's a big Republican talking point, but statistically, it's just objectively true. Right.

It's just objectively true when you don't have a father in the home. It's not. You're more prone to criminal behavior, just like if you're adopted, you're more prone to criminal behavior. Either if the father isn't there or the mother rejects you. Yes. Because adoption is the mother rejecting you. Big time.

That's what they feel. Yeah, that's a big one. Yeah. That's a biggie. Yeah, your mother treated you like Dikembe Mutamba. Now here's the... Yeah, like this. No, no, no, not today.

No, no, no. RIP Dikembe Mutamba. Yeah, and if your mother's just... if you have to make the first move on your mom, it's a bad scene. That's not good. If your mother doesn't give you hugs and you got to make the first move, that's not good. That's not good. Now here's another strike that may answer your question. He went to Catholic boys school in the Bronx where that's where the gay may have came from.

That's true. Yeah. Wow. Because I almost bought a house in Westchester that was going to send my kids to school in the Bronx. Yeah. You don't want to do that. He went to an all boys Catholic school. That could be bad. And then he later enrolled in the Bronx. Yeah, you don't want to do that. He went to an all boys Catholic school.

That could be bad. And then he later enrolled in Howard University. Great university. Just like, just like, um, Sean King. Oh, yeah. Sean King also went to Howard University. Howard University is a traditionally black college. What are they called? It's a traditionally black college, except for Sean. Yeah, except for Sean King's not traditionally black. No, yeah. Sean King is untraditionally black. He was the John Paxson on that team. Yes. Yeah. But it is the Harvard I've been, is known as, that's Howard is the Harvard of the black traditionally historically black college. Right. It's a good school. The top one. But then he dropped out of school before completing his degree. So there's a lot of warning sides here. I'd also say wearing sunglasses at all times and also having crosses all over you, I mean it's like you're deflecting, right? The kids got a cross in his earring, he's got a cross, the bigger the cross the more drugs you

deal. It's what it is. You're either a fucking deacon or you're a drug dealer. Now Tim Dillon also wears sunglasses inside all time, too So what do you have to say about Tim? Yeah, so I don't know but um and then he you know, he founded bad boy records and He obviously made the notorious Big a big star before he killed them. She did kill him now, right? Is that what we're saying? I don't know, but I just have a feeling him and the other guy, Suge Knight, had something to do with it. Every documentary now is starting to point to that, or there's not every, there's been

a couple of ones that are saying that he most likely was involved. I feel like Sean Diddy's the type of guy that's so premeditated and calculated, he probably had the sample from Sting ready to go. Right. Before Biggie was even killed. I think he probably cleared it and was like, he had Faith Evans, he was in his mind, he's like, Faith Evans is going to sing the chorus and it's going to be a big hit and this is going to catapult. He knew Biggie dead was worth more and Biggie already had an album recorded. Right. So that was released post-hominously. So what a way to promo the new album. And that's what I'm getting worried about with life too.

It's like, are these movies so desperate now that they're gonna like, you know, I'm watching the show on Netflix Zero Day with Robert De Niro. It's a fascinating show, but it's about how like, if they turned off the power grid, if planes started crashing into each other, I'm like, are these fuckers now getting so desperate that they'll just make real life shit happen to promote the movie? It's a very good point. Will they just take down a fucking plane and be like, oh, come see Flight 2. That's a great point. I've thought of that with true crime content, right?

It's like true crime content's so big. You know there's some producers going out there like, going like, hey, kid, we'll take care of your family, we'll take care of everyone, you got stage four cancer, go out and murder three girls so we can make a documentary about it. Who's just doing it? Can you just put some weird symbol on your forehead and take a pic? That's it! That's it! And then you're going to get a cool 20 mil for the fam.

You'll get a cool 20 mil because they know they're going to make so much money off the content. Because that should be, by the way, yeah, I forgot what country was doing that. Somebody was doing that, like some country was doing like, if you got like with six months to live, they were just throwing you on the front line to the army. It's a good idea. It's a glorious way to go. I forgot who it was.

I won't remember. Yeah. It was some like random nation. It sounds like a Putin move. Yeah, it might be a Putin move. That sounds like a real smart strong man move to be like, all right, listen, these guys are going on the front lines. Yeah.

James Carville, Democratic strategist, I was just reading this this morning, said that the Republican party, Trump's Republican party is within six weeks of a full implosion. Why? I don't know, fighting with each other? Because I was trying to read the New York Times because and then the words just got too big and it fell asleep. But they, James Carville, but he's saying like, I know he said I know I was wrong about Kamala Harris winning, I know he was like saying I know I was wrong about these things he said, but in six weeks it will implode. So that just scared me a little bit when the guy's giving a time frame. Well you do have like different

wings of things happening right? You do have you see a split between Elon Musk and Bannon and Trump and Bannon over immigration. Then you see the traditional Republicans, I was thinking about this the other day, not to get off-ditty too much, but the traditional Republicans Republicans cuz they were all like Christian Conservatives now you have a party that's been taken over by two guys who between them One guy fucked the porn star cheated on his wife fucked the porn star. His wife did post with her tits out He's got a couple of women. He's got a couple of kids with a couple different women and then Elon Musk has 13 kids. Yeah a couple different women and then Elon Musk has 13 kids with three

different women, one of which he ignores. I mean, Elon Musk is putting out kids like he plays for the Jets. He's putting them out like his name's Larry Johnson. It's what it is. Yeah, like his name is... Antonio Cramon. Yeah, Sean Kemp. Yeah.

Because he's putting them out like he's a black NBA player. It's what it is, cuz. Yeah, or he's like Osama Bin Laden. Yeah. There's a lot of kids. This ain't your mama's Republican party no more. The thing with Elon Musk, which is very interesting, I think it's actually like looped around for him mentally because I saw something where like financially he could give each one of his

kids a billion dollars and he still has over a hundred billion dollars. So he's good. So he doesn't care about that. He was just spreading a seed. No, he is totally good and he still has over $100 billion. So he's good. So he doesn't care about that. He was just spreading his seed. No, he is totally good, and he's acting like a guy who does not give a fuck anymore. Chrissy, running a small business means you're wearing a lot of hats. We know that.

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OpenPhone will port them over at no extra charge. Beautiful. So things really fell off the rails for Diddy in 2023. That's when we got some video. You got some video. Video always makes it worse. Right. Right, because there was that guy, Greg Hardy,

who beat the shit out of that woman. He played for the Dallas Cowboys. And the Carolina Panthers. And the Carolina Panthers, and he ended up being an MMA fighter, because Dana White will take anybody. But he beat the shit out of a woman, but there was no video of it.

Right. Then Ray Rice gave his wife a clean shot. Yeah. Of two. Yeah. It was just a clean straight right. Yeah. And he knocked her out and his whole career got taken away because there was video of it and unfortunately for Diddy he beat the shit out of Cassie in 2013. And there was video of it. And unfortunately and the two things are this. One, obviously people are in shock that the towel never came off because of the movement and two what people are saying That's what I thought when I was watching it What to what people are saying to about this what they said about this is you know the hosp

I'm sorry the hotel held this since 2016 and this video and they never sent to them They never did anything with it, and I think it was only 50,000 bucks that he paid off It was only 50,000 bucks. Yeah, off. It was only 50,000 bucks. Yeah, it wasn't a good look. Oh, that's a bad one. This is bad. Yeah, that's bad. This is bad.

Yeah. Where did he, now how come nobody else came out of the hotel? Because does he just rent a floor, you think? He just drags her back and he paid. That makes me really not like him. It's really horrible. You're like, I really don't like him. And I, you know, cause the thing is, is like,

so before this you were on the fence. Well before, yeah. I mean, before this, before this I was bad boy for life. Yeah. No, before, not that I was on the fence, but before this, like, you know, you can make an allegation about someone saying this or that, you're like, are these people crazy?

His seat smells like a rotten egg. Yeah, it's just what it is, it's Timmy D. But then when you see this, like the fear in her, like what a pussy. You see, you know what I don't like about it? You see what a pussy he actually is. To do this to a woman, you go, only a pussy would do this. Oh, yeah, of course. You know? Oh, yeah, of course. And when you watch it, even though we've all seen it on your times, when you watch it, it makes you angrier and angrier. Yeah. Every time that he did this to her. You know it would have been worse if he didn't have the towel because he's got one hand holding the towel. Right.

If he had two hands, it would have been worse. It would have been worse if he didn't have the towel because he's got one hand holding the towel. Right. If he had two hands it would have been worse. It would have been worse. But this is, he paid, I think he paid off the hotel. How come they didn't get in trouble? It was 50 grand to hold the- That's what I mean. Only 50 grand. It was bad.

Like people, you know, people will, that's, I think the hotel, you know, finally them releasing it is not good. Yeah. So she filed the lawsuit. And she's by the way a stone cold piece. She is pow pow pow. She may be one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen in my life truly. Yeah.

Hands down truly. Now, she's top. She's definitely top. I think you gotta give Jennifer Connelly when she was younger. You sent that the other day. Harden and Baccaral. I mean, she's got her boobs out in the movie.

Yeah. You ever seen it? Yeah. Yeah, I mean. Cassie, like, I mean. I mean, yeah, someone her boobs out in the movie. Yeah. You ever seen it? Yeah. Yeah, Cassie, like, I mean, someone that hot. You know, someone that hot. And so she accused him of rape, sex trafficking, physical abuse, and the lawsuit was settled shortly after filing. And then Combs was arrested after that in September 2024.

And he was federally indicted on all the charges that we mentioned. See, here's the thing. For for me once you see video of something it's very easy to believe all the charges for me. It's very easy and I know that that technically quote unquote isn't fair but it's like only a certain kind of person could do those things that he's accused of and only a certain kind of person could do that. I mean we've all been mad at our girlfriends and wives.

I've never done that. No, you know? No, we don't agree with that and you can't do that. And it's bad. And only fucking like you said, pussies do that. Yeah. The worst I've ever done is gotten so mad at my girlfriend that I've walked down the hallway and punched a door to get it out. But to actually physically put your hands on her like that over and over and over again is wild. Right. And it's crazy too because sometimes your wife will talk to you in a way. Have you ever seen the way a women talk to cops? I mean they just don't care.

They don't care. They just almost challenge you sometimes. Right, to do it. And you go like, you don't understand. You don't understand what kind of damage I could do. Why don't you adopt a different tone because you're putting me in a very bad situation. It's what it is because one time when this video came out my boys sent me to the group chat they sent a video of Jazz's head on Diddy and my head on casting it was a 10 out of 10.

Now let me ask you, have you watched Paul Sean Diddy Comes Apology video? No but it wasn't he says that he didn't do anything right? Well it's very funny can you pull up Sean Comes Apology video, right? Well, it's very funny. Can you pull up Sean Cullman's apology video and we see if it's convincing. Let's see. Let's see if it's convincing. Yeah. Because it's very funny.

In the context of just watching that video, watching this, because what do you say after that? Yeah. How do you get out of that? Yeah. You go like, I dropped something, she dropped something, she was on the floor, I put her back down there to find it. Like how do you get out of that?

Yeah, I guess you. Let's hear the video. Oh, apology. I mean, I hit rock bottom. No, no, no, I think she technically hit rock bottom. Right. My behavior on that video is inexcusable. Right. I take full responsibility. Well, nobody was accusing anyone else. Right.

Now combs a ship. Yes. So he tried, but there's really nothing you can say. But my thing is though, if he was really actually so cold blooded, like, like I'm saying like how people say, some people did he doesn't give a fuck he's a criminal when I even said before the walls closing in on him when you see that video of him apologizing he's actually trying to get out of it so the walls are closing in closing up now do you think maybe we don't know what what you have you ever played that trick on a friend where before they get in the shower you turn

you turn the shower head to them getting in. Cause I've never been in a situation where I'm just playing a trick on somebody, it's another guy and I'm in the shower with him. So I've never played a shower trick with a guy. Cause the thing is, here's the thing with me, is I say some wildly gay stuff, but then what you say is just, it's uncomfortable.

Because it happened. Yeah, cause you're just in the shower with a guy. Have you ever played that trick where someone turns the shower head and then you get in and the water sprays you? Like what if she did that? What do you mean? And you got really upset and you chased her.

Oh right, I see what you mean. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Got it. Like if someone turns it and then you turn it on and it sprays you and you're just upset. I mean here's the thing. I'm just trying to find something. If we were two guys, if that was me and you and you were running out in the towel and I was running out and you could do that to me because it's just guy versus guy.

But the problem is she's a woman. I forgot about that part. Is she the mother of his children as well? No, she's not. The mother of his children, she died of pneumonia. Yeah, the same way Floyd Mayweather's wife died just of mysterious disease at somewhere like 30 something. They just dropped dead.

Okay, so what happens? So I'm pretty sure that Floyd Mayweather killed this baby's mama. So the, okay, so I've been talking a lot about the Yuca app, which scans different foods and creams. Cause you're finding every way to bring up the Yuca app. Cause I love the fucking Yuca app. Yeah, we're talking about domestic violence,

and now you're bringing up the Yuca app. Well, because I just would be interested to know of what Diddy's baby's score gets on the Yuca app. If it's giving bone. Yeah, I don't know if it can't hide scores of the Yuka app Yeah, now her sees now Dana Tran she died. No, no Kim Porter Kim Porter Oh my god, he has four kids with Kim Porter. Okay Look up Kim Porter and the cause of death because the cause of death was very suspicious. It was very suspicious She wishy. Yeah, just like a Floyd Mayweather's and the cause of death because the cause of death was very suspicious. It was very suspicious. She wishy. Yeah.

Just like Floyd Mayweather's wife. It's a little like what happened. But why does Floyd Mayweather's wife, what does that have to do with Diddy? Well, because they died in the same way. I see. So it's the same cream. I'm just saying, yeah. Right. I'm just saying it could have been the same baby oil that was toxic if you run it through the UCAP.

And you put it on the UCAP because the UCAP is wild. Do you know about the UCAP? I do know about the you cap. Cause are you going to get it though? We gotta get them as a sponsor. We gotta get them a sponsor Peggy, if you're listening, get them. Yeah. So her. By the way, on Reddit,

on Reddit people are asking, they think I said Tom Segura gets pegged. Oh, that's what they think? That's what I did say. Yeah. Yeah. You're just going to have to guess. Do we, is that on the Patreon? Or do we, we left that up up people on the on the reddit? Thank you to the people who are defending us not around Sakura. It's not but people are saying, you know

For you even posing this question like get the fuck off the patreon. That's our sacred space He piece of shit like people are going after this guy on the reddit Yeah for posting that we that you why would you take something on the patreon and make it public? Yeah, who did that fucking rap kid i'm you know what someone post is that where keep finding keep going if you want but i'm gonna find this motherfucker while i tell you that this here we go this is chrisse accused tom sagura of getting pegged this is from i'm sorry to cut you off but this just on the record just want to call this motherfucker out this is from zealous ideal maybe 67 you go fuck yourself yeah

stop posting shit yeah from the Patriots people are going it's a character piece you're breaking the patreon rules all this they're fucking people going security you're breaking the rules you're a certified FF yeah but then some people are saying it's Tom Segura yeah but it's not Tom Segura what it is so sorry so she died supposedly of low bar pneumonia. This woman, look at this woman. Healthy, beautiful. Yeah, she's not, people who die of low bar pneumonia are 86. She was 47.

She was 47 years old and she got low bar pneumonia. And she died. Now can you look up, that's just, it's just interesting. It's just interesting how she died. Can you look up the cause of death of Floyd Mayweather's baby mama? Floyd Mayweather, yeah, baby's mama. It was pneumonia. Right. Cause of death of this is going to take forever. Floyd Mayweather, baby's mama. Mama. There we go. There we go. Oh, so was it, she died of an accidental drug overdose when she was in her car, but people are saying that that that could be a little bit of Diddy juice

Or it's just Did he necessarily doesn't have anything to do with it? I'm just saying there are two suspicious death of baby mamas right that just healthy otherwise healthy woman You know yeah, so it just had died yeah, and you people just die around Diddy right like Biggie died right she died people just died. The kid Diddy so Diddy and by the way Diddy is still he hasn't even been transferred to like a federal prison he's sitting in like Manhattan he's sitting in like a Rikers Island style thing like a bad dirty jail yeah it's not and I don't know that he's gonna get like I don't know if he's in solitary I don't know yeah he's in well he's federal custody in Brooklyn yeah he's still he's in Brooklyn so you

know is he in is he in is he exposed to the other inmates because they're gonna get at him he's gonna I mean he would get killed and just do you are you surprised how long he's how he's still alive are you surprised it must mean that there's nothing crazy there must be no politicians or something like that, right? It's got to just be like actors or something because if it was politicians the kid would be fucking dead as Jeffrey Epstein Right, right. Right. It's like what are you looking at? Just? They posed a question on how many followers he's lost Interesting. He still has 3.6 million followers on social. So he's lost a million. He's lost a million. So it's like whatever.

Yeah. Yeah. So Diddy also has over one million fake accounts that he can no longer promote. Oh, like bots. Yeah. Right. Other artists who lost followers during the purge include- What celebrities unfollow Diddy is a good one.

Yeah. LeBron James, Patrick Mahomes, and Steph Curry chose to publicly diss him. Right. They probably most likely at the parties. Yeah. Well- They said LeBron James Patrick Mahomes and Steph Curry chose to publicly diss him. Right, because they probably most likely at the parties. Yeah, well, LeBron- They said LeBron was. LeBron's been at the parties. But what are you going to do?

What are you going to do? We would all go. If we were invited five years ago, we would have fucking went. Well, I think he had two parties. He had the first one and then the freak-offs were later that night. Right, which I wouldn't have been able to stay awake. We're kids that can't stay up that late. No, I wouldn't have been able to stay awake. We're kids that can't stay up that late. No, I wouldn't have been able to make it to the freak off.

So we would have been protected even if we got invited to the second one. Kids, we would have been night night. Yeah, yeah. Because we want to wake up early and we want to go look at museums. Yeah, yeah. Jennifer Lopez, interestingly,

was involved in that shooter thing. Right, because that was in- Aaliyah also died, and she was connected to him. Aaliyah was also died. Right, this is Aaliyah, right? Is that in the middle, is that Aaliyah? That is Aaliyah. So she also died. This is Aliyah, right? Is that in the middle, is that Aliyah? That is Aliyah. So she also died.

But she died to plane crash, but who knows? But that's the thing is when you start to, it's like when you start to see these videos, you start to say how much was he involved with or not involved with, I don't know. Yeah, well I think J.Lo, did she hide the gun for him or something like that? She's also a stone cold piece.

Aliyah. J.Lo and Aliyah was a stone cold piece. Stone cold, stone cold. She did something too where it was like, J-Lo, what's going on? But you know, it's just the music industry, they just, it's just too much money. Yes. It's too much. These people make too much money. That's why I think Diddy was able to get away with it. He was getting away with this for decades. The thing is too, like the government and all that, I really believe at the highest

levels, they don't want these people going down and getting arrested because they are using them to get their messages out through their art. So they don't want actually, I don't know that they love that diddies in jail, but it probably was so big and so bad that they had to sacrifice one to save the others. You make a good point because when you think about Snoop Dogg, Snoop Dogg also was on trial for murder, and he got acquitted. And now he's at the Olympics. So it's like maybe they just say to you, hey, look, you're going to work for us now.

You're going to work for us now. You're going to do a positive message. You're going to say, we're going to say, you're going to become friends with Martha Stewart. We want to calm your community down a little bit. So maybe they do that. I think that there's a lot of truth to that. There could be.

And I wonder if it's one of those things where Snoop Dogg and the powers that be like that don't even, they, Snoop Dogg and those guys, they've never even spoken to about it. They're like, it's just the powers that be are kind of orchestrating it behind like little puppets. And they're saying, this is what he's going to do now. I think a hundred percent that's true.

And they're not like, you would talk to Snoop, you'd say, no one's ever approached me like that at all, but in the background it's all being orchestrated. Because think about it, dude. Ice T, you remember Ice T? Sure. He was making all those albums about cop, he made a song called Cop Killer, it was massive,

and then the next thing you know, he's just a neutered actor playing a cop. On Law and Order. He played a cop! Yeah! After doing Cop Killer, so they just go, we're gonna neuter these people. That's what it is. It's just gonna neuter them to calm everyone down. So I mean they're saying some people said that that's why

Ben Affleck and JLo got a divorce too. It's because Ben Affleck knew what was coming and he wanted to get away. That's also as conspiratorial could be bullshit. But yeah I mean listen this stuff comes out and you're you're married to this woman you're going like you know What I gotta be honest. I got a tough enough time not drinking booze I gotta be honest with you there was I think at some point years ago a part of me that maybe like Even did get into comedy in 2010 2011 like 2010 ish. I'd be like I want to be famous

I want to get invited to all this stuff, but I am very thankful that The career like I'm old enough now to know what I want and know that I don't want to actually ever get to these levels Where I even ever know these people I think there is a level where you got a con you have to do something Like you know, I don't want to do it. You know when you join the mob you got to like show that you're yeah You know, yeah that you're cool. Yeah, yeah, are you cool? Yeah, because like when these people get a lot of money and fame and stuff, ordinary life stuff doesn't get them off anymore. Yeah.

And so they do crazy stuff, and if you're gonna be able to see their crazy stuff, they wanna know if you're cool. Right, right. Are you cool? Are you cool? Are you willing to do some stuff so you can't rat on me and I can't rat on you? Chrissy D, are you cool?

Because I think that's what happened with Epstein's Island, right? It was just them getting people Good normal people to not even know that they were getting massage or having sex with 16 year old 17 year old girls some did I'm sure but they didn't know and then they have video of them and now you're just under their thumb and here's another thing They you got to be famous enough to get invited to those things first And here's another thing when you're that famous and you're making that much money and there's that many advertisers that are famous and you're making that much money and there's that many advertisers that are sponsoring your programs or whatever it is they need to know that you're not gonna go rogue. Got it. They need to know that you're just not they don't like

independence they don't like that like oh I have different feelings I want to say this like no that's not what we can you can't do that so we have to have something on you that makes you know right that you can go rogue. Yeah. You gotta just work for us. You gotta work for us. And it's good to just be within your means and just say, you know what? I just want to do. I do my comedy as art. Some people may call it spoken word, and that's just what I do.

I do my spoken word poetry on as my art and because what Chelsea Handler, what you may hear that episode next week you may hear it in March it depends what We decide to do but she did say that there are so many people right now that would do anything to be famous and I'm Telling I you and I do not have that in our brains No, not not do anything. I wouldn't do anything to do it, right? Because it scares me more its fame now definitely scares me more than it It scares me more, it's fame now definitely scares me more than it calms me, it scares me. Right, the closest I've come, have you ever,

like you've met a lot of people in the industry. Sure. Has anyone ever like given you the willies? Not the willies, not the willies, but I do feel that there was a time where I feel like I was invited to a party with a couple of A-listers that, not a party, they were just in a hotel room, and I went,

and I felt that they were all wearing the same pajama zip-ups, and I felt like, and they made me put a pajama zip-up on, and I did, because it was fun or whatever, and then I had to go, I had a show, it was in Vegas, I had a show, so I was only there for 20 minutes, but I did feel like, why was everyone wearing the matching zip-up pajamas?

Are you cool? That's what they were saying. Are you willing to put pajamas on? And I threw that on, but that's it, and then I left, but I was like, what was I, what was the point of the zip-up? Because in the moment, you're not even thinking about it. But then, it wasn't until I texted the pic to my boys,

they were like, why are you in this fucking Illuminati ritual? And I was like, what are you talking about? They're like, why are you all wearing matching zip-up shit? And I was like, huh. They do stuff like that, I think. It could have just been fun. It could have been like, hey, we're having fun.

Or it could have been like, this is the first thing we ask you to do to see if you comply. And then ease you into it. It goes in. Ease you into it, yeah. Because you think there are people who would, who are out there, who would say, if you just do da da da, which as you know is illegal, we'll put you in the movies.

They will do it. I can just explain to you why it's important. It makes absolute sense. But they would do, you're saying there's people alive right now that would no doubt about it, do it. Will do it? Yeah. Yeah, and I think when you're saying there's people alive right now that would no doubt about it do it Will do it. Yeah Yeah And I think when you're in a position where you're a little naive to what that means

You do it and sometimes I think often you do it a lot of people do it unknowingly Right, so you're like you're hooking up or one and you just don't know you're being filmed or you don't know it's been set up For you, you know if they really got their eyes on you and they want to make you into something very commercial They need to know you're not gonna go rogue. There's too much at stake, right? You know, if they really got their eyes on you and they wanna make you into something very commercial, they need to know you're not gonna go rogue. There's too much at stake. Right. They need to know that you're in control.

You can't say certain things. Everything has to be within these lines. Do you think, that's the old Hollywood, but do you think with Hollywood losing some of its power in cache now, do you think it's still gonna be like that moving forward? I think Hollywood will always be like that, but Hollywood has lost its grip on power. Because of social media and the internet. Because of the internet.

People only really get famous on the internet now. No matter which way you slice it, it's like you're invited to the party. It's all people who've gotten famous on the internet. Yeah, if we're talking about specifically fame, it's just the internet. You can still make money in the industry, but if we're talking about fame specifically, you are correct. It's the internet that makes you famous. The internet only. Now, the only person that I remember meeting who really gave me the willies was Mark Burnett. Who's Mark Burnett? He did Survivor. Oh, yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. He did The Apprentice.

So what gave you the willy-families about him? I met him in Vegas. I met him in Vegas. How long ago? This was years ago. This is like beginning of comedy. This had, I met him, had nothing to do with comedy. I was with this kid. Yes. Okay. I was with Mike Brillstein. Legendary manager. His son. Okay. His son. I was with his son. And we were just like there and I, they were there for something and Mike knew him. he said hello to Mike and then he said hello to me and Mike was like, he's a comedian, I was starting out. And just the way he looked at me, he's just like a shark.

It was just like, and he looked at me like intently. I don't know whether he wanted to eat me or, but he was. Because you were a handsome kid. I don't know if it was that. I don't know if it was that, but it was just this look of, it just gave me the, he was shaking my hand and the eye contact was so strong and it stayed for so long. It was like he was reading my whole person. He was just, I don't know what it was. Maybe he was coked up. I don't know. But his eyes were just like

cold. Right. You know, and I think it makes sense. I mean, the kid was a nanny. He was, he was a nanny in Hollywood and then somehow he became one of the massive producers in the industry. And he's still a massive producer. So you gotta be, you just gotta, and think about the type of personality you have to have to start out as a nanny in Hollywood and then pitch a show that's going, hey, this is the type of personality you gotta,

you gotta be a little shut off to go, I got a great idea. We take all these people, we put them on an island. We deprive them of food and see if they turn into animals. And if they kill each other. And whoever can live and doesn't die, he wins. Someone who comes up with that idea, you go, and this kid's a little shit off. People also gotta talk about,

if you wanna be a contestant on these types of shows, Survivor or The Bachelor, Bachelorette, you gotta leaky roof. You gotta leaky roof. Little bit of a leaky roof, no? You gotta leaky roof, yeah. I think you gotta leaky roof. You got a little bit of a leaky roof, no? You got a leaky roof, yeah. I think you got a leak in your roof. I mean, it's just, yeah, because like.

And we do stand up comedy, and our roofs are a little less leaky than these people. I said dribble hit in the kitchen. Yeah. There's a dribble of water. I do have a pot out, you do hear a ting, ting, ting, ting. There's a water drip. Yeah, yeah.

When it rains out, it's no good. Yeah, I mean, you threw on, you know, Chanclata's from the 99th century, the Wicks, so we, leaky roof. We got a leaky Roof. Leaky Roof, yeah. And nobody who sees the Maurice or Pano's videos goes, this guy is 100% like just one of the sanest guys

you're gonna talk to. Right, right. Yeah, I got a Leaky Roof. Right, I've moved nine times in eight years, I got a leak. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we got a leak. I got a leak.

Yeah. But we're still in more control than I think if you wanna be a contestant on these shows. Yeah. There's just some type of insatiable need to be like, look at me. Yes. Right? I think it's probably no different than what we got a little bit.

But at least could ours be considered art a little bit though, like we have a quote unquote talent. 100%. I see what you're saying. As opposed to just put a camera on me and let me survive on an island. 100%. Right. 100%. Yeah.

You make a good point. 100%. 100%, yeah. You make a good point. Yeah, if you're signing up for that show, yeah, if you're signing up for Survivor. Like, we do have a talent. Yeah, we do have a talent, yeah. We're doing this because we have a talent. We're not just doing this.

No, yeah. People told us we were funny and we're doing it. Yeah, I didn't, the first time, for the first five years of my career, there were no cameras on it. I just was doing comedy because I love to do comedy. Yeah, I mean, I was a class clown. I got suspended from schools, got kicked out of schools. We wanted to do this in many ways. In some ways, it was just only. I just do it in comedy because I love to do comedy. Yeah, I mean, I was a class clown. I got suspended from school.

I got kicked out of school. Born to do this in many ways. In some ways, it was just the only thing I could do. Right. So you do make a very valid point. If you do sign up to see if you live on an island and have people film it. That's what it is.

Yeah. I mean, the kid's got a net worth of a cool 385 shmill to 500 shmill. Yeah, he's definitely a very rich man. I mean, the kid made some fucking money Huge money. He also is responsible for the man sitting in the White House Donny T Absolutely do without the apprentice Donald Trump does not become a national celebrity now are Mark Burnett and Donny T still cool Probably but Mark Burnett created the apprentice and the apprentice was a and The Apprentice is what exposed Donald Trump to the country I mean

that's why he got elected before that he was a New York celebrity. Yeah we knew he was he was I knew him from Eddie that movie Eddie with Whoopi Goldberg. Yeah he was in it he had a couple of roles he was a gossip column billionaire he wasn't like a he was on Howard Stern a few times but he wasn't like a nationally known like celebrity. Right right. This made him a celebrity. Mark Burnett made him a nationally recognized celebrity. He made the heartland fall in love with him. Before this, he was known by Russell Simms.

He was hanging out with rappers and sort of a gossip comedy. Do you think Mark Burnett, even behind the scenes during the initial presidential campaign, might have been helping Donny T with shit? I would not be surprised. I would not be surprised. Yeah, there's just a whole world out there that me and you are not Cuz Timmy Dillon just walked in so we're gonna you have to get back to this We're gonna get back to this. Come on. Tim Dillon is here. Yes, forget what is what was Chelsea coming on to promote a stroke?

Her book her special Another book those readers in this country. That's what Jesse was saying too. Jesse, who the fuck is actually reading the book? Yeah well I mean her first book I've read her first book is very funny. Yeah. The horizontal life book and she's a great comedic writer for the first book. I don't I didn't there's more books I haven't read them. Yeah there's. Never met her. saw her on a flight from New York to LA. Lovely woman, hard worker. Would me and her get along?

I don't know. I don't know. She was kind of cool, she was cool, but she was kind of just, it was one of those things, like it felt like you make a joke, like you honest, I forgot, you made some joke about like security guards or something like that and she was like no there's no security guards on a mountain of course not yeah something

like that she's rich she's yeah she's rich she's a little shut off she's snatched off she's been rich for a while a while lesser you know she's earned her money it's what it is so now we got timmy d in here timmy d back in new york she would never have you on Chelsea lately. You're not her type of gay is now saying no No, I don't I don't think me and her would have a great time right together, but it would be fun to watch yeah, I mean I I I tend to View things differently than she does. Yeah. Yeah. That's just the only nice

It's the only way to say it, really. It's the only nice way to say it. Right. You do feel like you're in trouble around people like her. Like the people who are very, very, very progressive. You always feel like you're with comedy. I did feel during that episode, even though she was very nice,

I felt like I'm one more word away from doing something, like stepping on a landmine, I didn't even know I was stepping on. Like I offended her in, I don't even fucking know how. She's set in her ways, she said, she thinks that Roe v. Wade got overturned because of the Me Too movement, and it was causal, and I was going, I don't see the-

Yeah, oh yeah, you tried to- Here's the thing, it's just, you know, you will never be able to explain to someone like her that there are people in America that are not in favor of abortion. You just won't be able to explain it to her. It'll be a conspiracy. It'll be, now I'm not one of them by the way,

I'm pro-choice, but I know many of them. I grew up with them. Yeah, long enough. And they are against abortion. So it's not a conspiracy to say that Roe v. Wade, now I think that more Americans probably are pro-choice and pro-life and you're seeing that with the states that are ratifying abortion in their state constitutions and stuff like that. But there's a significant amount of people that disagree with her. I think the problem with the posture that people

have on some of those issues is like She thinks that no one's disagreeing with her. They're either misinformed or they've been bamboozled or taken advantage of no one can have a real fundamental disagreement with her because she has a house in Mallorca So no, you know what? No one can really disagree with her. They've all just been right kind of fed a bunch of bullshit and And you know, so that's my thing. I'm all like you can disagree with me, right? I believe you can have a different opinion than I do It doesn't mean you're wrong and it doesn't mean you're stupid and it doesn't mean you're misinformed right right now Yeah, I get it. I get it man. I mean fucking oh, yeah

We were talking about this before you as soon as you walked in to death's guy James carnival is going nuts saying that the Democrat the Trump's Republic is about to implode in six weeks No one should listen to any of these people and I'll tell you why tell me they they have destroyed their party Until they evict all of the Democrats and replace them with new people. They're going to be fucked I like a lot of what he says, but his whole thing now is going, well, let's just wait till they implode. They haven't yet. Yeah.

They haven't. By the way, you can find examples of him saying things like that during the campaign. The wheels are gonna come off. They'll warn me about it. He said Kamala was gonna win. Right. So they're all, at the end of the day,

they all say the same shit, and they need to just throw people overboard and get new people. Now that the sales have definitely switched and the wind is coming in another direction, does alternative comedy come back and become huge again? Unicycles are back. Yes.

Unicycles are back. You're gonna see a lot of cabaret. Yeah. You're gonna see a lot of Top hats and handlebar mustaches. Yeah as you should. Yeah, you're gonna hear a lot of comments going, you know, what's weird Yeah, they always say that this is weird. It should and it should though That's the thing it like should counterculture. There was a lot of funny stuff in that world that and there was a lot of unfunny stuff but like... Yeah. The bottom line is we're not doing shows at Sesh Comedy.

No, it was just cold. I mean, it's a great venue, but I was cold because they didn't have a heater in the non-green room. I did a show with Tim. Tim did it. Tim Dillon and friends at this place Sesh Comedy. Because I wanted to go back in time and go like, remember what it felt like to do like the old school rooms and you know...

And it was funny just standing down there with them, standing there with Tim because it was freezing, goes you know, I don't remember being at an open mic and getting fucking pneumonia. Yeah, it was no heat. But it's a great venue for younger people. And I just, you know, for me personally, I do like the stand, I do like to be treated nicely. They do have a kitchen, they cook good food.

You like to get a nice little salmon. Well you know what it is, it's the stand, if you know anything about the stand, this, it reminds me of what New York used to be. The city used to be run by overweight criminals. Yes. And it was run by overweight criminals. That's what you don't understand. Like when you see gangs of New York and you see, uh, who is the star of that? Daniel Day-L, right? But in reality he would be 400 pounds Yeah, sure like boss tweed was the size of a car right now reminds me I like to stand because I like that and I like that they charged me a Crazy amount of money for my birthday party

I said I just want pizzas and they got an ice luge and a sword swallower. I took all the money. Yeah, I like that We did a show for them two months ago. They completely went under, said lost the footage. And they charged us in full. And the show was two months ago. We still haven't gotten the money. We still have not. So we were sending an invoice that you're not getting

a discount even though we lost the entire footage. You're paying in full and you'll get your money when you get your money. And I don't know how they pay for it. Do they own the building? They may own this building. No one knows what's going on at all. Which is great. What was a better time in New York City history specifically than the 80s and the 90s when it was fully

run by the fucking mobsters? It should be. I know amongst the mobsters, I get that, I understand one side of that, but in the neighborhoods where the mobsters lived, no crime, no problems. Everybody was okay. Well, they have a monopoly on the crime. But they're not committing crime. Again, your mom could walk down the street. That's right. And that's what I like about this, Stan. They're not robbing everyone in the neighborhood. They're robbing us. They're robbing the people that walk into the building. So that's what I like. They're not just grabbing an old lady. They're like, no, no, no. Come do a show here. Where's the money? Who knows? Tim Dillon's making some cash now. Let's squeeze him. That's what I like. They're not just grabbing an old lady. They're like, no, no, no, come do a show here. Where's the money?

Who knows? Tim Dillon's making some cash now. Let's squeeze him. Let's get him. Let's get the sword swallowing. He won't even notice. I get it. I appreciate it.

I like it. You're always going like... I don't even know. There's so many rooms here. There's people. I don't know what any of them do. Nobody. I have no idea what any of them are doing. They don't know what they're doing.

I don't know what they're doing. I just know I'm getting an invoice every week and I'm paying it off. And it's on auto pay. I don't know what they're doing. There's people. There's women just sitting there eating salad quietly and going back every week and I'm paying it off. And it's on auto pay. I know what they're doing. There's people, there's women, they're just sitting there eating salad quietly and going back to work. It's what it is. I don't know what they could be doing.

I haven't performed at the stand in three years, but yet I've been advertised every week. And that's just what it is. You just pay the people, just deal with it. It's old school. It's just old school. Yeah, you got to respect. And then Chris looks at me and says, why don't you come do his podcast? And guess what? I did it. I'm here. It's old school. It's just old school. Yeah, you gotta respect. And then Chris looks at you and says, why don't you come do his podcast?

And guess what? I did it. Yeah. I'm here. It's smart. Well, I mean, the city now, New York City is kind of being run by one of those old school migrants. Yeah.

Well, that's changed a little bit. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I was in, I was in, when I was in Arizona, I was in Phoenix. I was like, what's different around here? Oh, this place got a little more white. Yeah. Yeah.

They disappeared. But now our mayor, our mayor is a little bit of a criminal, no? Eric Adams is a fun guy. I prefer those two words. I like that. And I don't know what he did that was even that bad. Would he get upgraded a flight?

In Turkey, it's bullshit. Would he get first class flight tickets? It's one of those things that I was telling him, a friend of mine. By the way, Eric Adams, history hyena's alum. He was on the show in 2020, so that should be your first thing. So but he said, he got upgraded on a flight to Turkey, which I was saying, a friend of mine who's, you know, been a cop for 20 years said, when that powers that be want to come down on you. All of us have committed crimes, we don't even realize our crimes. It's just 99. This is the problem. Like this is the problem.

Like everybody's going around and going like, Trump inflated the price of a condo and Eric Adams got airline ticket, and you go, guys, is this all you got? If this is all you got, this is not good. These are weak cases. I think he looked the other way on a fire code on the Turkish embassy and then in exchange they

got him a flight. I mean, no one cares., I mean no one cares. I mean no one cares. Like, to me that's a fine, right? If you look the other way on a thing, it's a fine. I mean the Turkish embassy didn't burn down with a bunch of people. Yeah.

You of all people shouldn't care what happens to the Turkish embassy. No, no, no, no. We actually made a joke about that. I was like, look the other way on the fire code on that. Actually set a fire, put it to bed. Nobody cares either. I bet you Anthony Weiner can get reelected. Andrew Cuomo is looking like he's going to be the mayor of New York if he comes out. So it's like people don't give a shit.

It's the criminal you know. Right. It's really the criminal you know now. Donald Trump was a criminal we knew. Yeah. He's like, we know him, he's a little shady, he has things going on. But it's America, we're a little shady. We've got stuff going on. We're the war clan. There's a lot of stuff happening. So now they're saying that Trump's family are Russian assets and they always have been and that's what we should be really weary of.

It didn't work, it doesn't work. It doesn't make sense Imagine being Russia and going one day this guy who's at WWF He's going to be the president of the United States Yeah, so we're going to recruit him right and then follow this unlikely political career to where he it just doesn't make sense. I I don't think I think he likes Russia Right. I think he does be has business in Russia. I think he respects Putin. I think he respects Strong leaders whether you you know think that's good or not. I think he does have a relationship with him and respect him Is he a Russian asset? I don't really know. There's nothing in the first term of his administration to signify that he was a Russian asset.

No. He did deals that actually Russia didn't love. And here's the truth. If Anthony Weiner or Andrew Cuomo doesn't win the presidency, Corinne Fisher will. The mayor. Corinne Fisher is running for mayor. For New York City mayor, yeah.

I am supporting her. Me too. Now, how do you get on the ballot she are you she can get on the ballot i think any of i think i think there's i i don't i think anyone can run for mayor but we're looking here in the city and state of new york on who the actual who's nominees are but right now on here she's not on so i think it's a very very local thing we got so so ron mom donnie which i can tell by the name is probably not going to get the vote Staten Island. I'm gonna say no. Yes. I'm not gonna read that I'm just gonna say no. Staten Island is gonna say no to that. Yeah.

Yeah so we got... That's my boy. Eric Adams is the guy. I like Eric Adams. And then you got Brad Ladner who's the New York City Comptroller. I still don't really quite understand. Go't go down, go down a little bit. His ideological stance in brief, Brownstone, Brooklyn, progressive, bye! See you later! See you later! Jessica Ramos.

Okay, here we go. Our ideological stance, you mean pro-labor progressive, Thorne and Steve Cohen side, very interesting. You're not, so you just lost the Mets fans. Get out of here, let's go Mets! Zellnor Myrie. There he is, let's see what he fans. Get out of here. Let's go Mets. Zell nor Myrie.

There he is. Let's see what he is. State Senator representing Brooklyn. Progressive, increasingly pro-real estate Democrat. Ooh, well I like the end of that. Pro-real estate. So he's not out yet. He's not out.

Pro-real estate. I like to be progressively pro-real estate. Is Oran Mamdani, unfortunately on the name, is just not going to get the vote. His ideological stance. Oh, socialist. The leftist of them all. A pro-political, socialist Democrat who isn't shy about it. Thanks, goodbye, good night.

Thanks, I will go to Texas tomorrow. Buy a mansion and all that. He's got no chance. And apologize to Mr. Rogan. Yeah, he's got no chance. Then we got Scott Stringer. His ideological- A Manhattan liberal who had a shot as a progressive mayoral candidate last cycle, but is tacking

center now. Okay. Got a shot. Got a shot. Michael Blake. These guys look handsome put together. A moderate Democrat in the style of Barack Obama. Not bad. Not bad. He's not out this guy. I like this guy. I don't hate that. Hasn't raised a lot of money though. Alright. But we could change that. We'll change it. Yeah. Yeah. Then we got Jim Walton. Independent with a pugnacious streak. Well, I don't even know

what that means. But he's raised some money. Look at that. He's raised a little money. Lives in Brooklyn Heights. Yeah. Over half a million private donations. He wants to root out corruption in New York City. So that's, you know, that unfortunately then that he's trying to shut down this club. So we can't have that. Yeah. We need the stand. Then we got Whitney Tilson. Ooh, I like this. Pro charter school, Wall Street, moderate, focus on public safety. Daddy, sign me up! Sign me up! A nice Connecticut Wall Street fucking suit.

Yeah. Focus on public safety is just nice to hear. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nice to hear. It's what it is. Yeah.

Every cop's going to have an AK-47 with him. That's right. And the streets are getting clean. He wants to grow the city's economy, rein an AK-47 with him. That's right. And the streets are getting clean. He wants to grow the city's economy, rein in spending, reduce violent crime. That seems good. Yeah. I like this guy.

I like it. Go to sleep. Oh, this guy. This criminal used to stage attacks in the subway. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, he's an eccentric conservative activist who joined the Republican Party a few years ago.

He's got cache though. He's got a name. He's got a name. People know who he is. Yes. He used to fake all those attacks and then he'll solve them. Yep. Yep. He tried to walk into the Village Underground like a couple months ago and they wouldn't let him in. Really?

Yeah. Well, just because his name, he's saying I'm Curtis Suwai, you know, and they said, well, your name's on the list. Interesting. Somebody had the whole beret on and everything. And I think, you know, you have to go just wait online. Yeah. Yeah.

He's got an outfit. That's for sure. Yeah. He certainly got an outfit. It's from the Upper West Side. Yep. And he's not, he's, he came close last time. Not close, but-

And there's no Corinne on this. No, not on this list. That's why, unless we're, you know. She's not a major candidate. So get Corinne on the list. You think we should scrap our plan to run for mayor at this point? I think it's probably out, yeah.

I think it was probably out when I bought the Kanye West t-shirt. Yeah. That's common trail. There's a paper trail that I bought it as a goof, but I feel like now come back now it's probably not going to be good. Yeah, so that's just you got to quick Google search and you'll find, yeah. But all right, well listen, we always read the newest members of the Patreon out at the

end of every episode. They go to patreon.com slash history, and then Tim, if you could just help us pick, there's only two pages of them today yeah and we'll just two minutes of your time and we'll just pick the one that we think is the PPW the student penis of the week you might sit in no it's just five minutes so we got Fumar the Stewart Arthur Stewart okay like Benjamin Frye father Bill Torma esophagus it's a priest joke yes shot Shima Johnson. Balsack Obama. Okay, not moving him yet. Ladder lesbians are crisis thespians. Burnt LA cuz Trump pres again. Too wordy. Too much.

John Wilkes fumes. I don't like that a little. Okay so it's almost. So that's what we call a Drexler. Garamella. Caramella's yum. Kimchi monkey who cloned his dog but it didn't taste the same. That I like. That I like. That I like. That I like. That I like. That I like. That I like. I'm not gonna lie. I like that one. Calling yourself a kimchi monkey is funny. I just like that coupling of words. Yes. Yeah. Mark von Salkma, Casey Schneider, Alison Gotta Think About It, Mark von Salkma, Casey Schneider, Alison Gotta Think About It, Horny Jeetweed, My Bagel Face Made Father Bill Spray Holy Water, K, Truman Gaines, Make No Mistake It's What It Is, Shane O'Leary, Greg, My Girl Stands There With Her Hairbrush And She Gives Me A Weird Look And

I Say Sometimes, RodriguezLightOf14, I'll get that one, but thank you. Donnie T's glue in your mother's ragu. Okay, I gotta be honest, I don't hate that. You don't hate that? So that's on the list. Okay, these are good picks. These are glue in your mother's ragu. These are good picks.

Bacon, egg and cheeks, I know Vinny is a freak in the sheets, okay. Six deep squeak. Yanni blowing the light in the loafers. FF to his left, aka Chrissy Queen ladder 14, okay. Akash Singh better laugh and agree or Schultz is getting a new H1B. That might be it.

That might be it. That's going to be tough. We'll read a few more just as a formality, but we kind of know. That's tough. That's going to be tough to make. Just as a few more names as a formality. That's a good one. Well, you never know.

Someone could come in. Yeah. Fuming as a gay guy over there is an acronym. Okay? Jeffrey Dahmer's Chicken Thigh Meatballs. It's a dark meat joke, cuz. Okay? The Consensual Sex of Nanjing.

Cuzzy Wuzzy the Papoosa monkey, Rasputin is shooting gluten where Chrissy D is tooting. Okay, Chrissy disfigured toes, Dylan the Franks and Beans, male toot piece, uh, history hyenas aka mystery malakas, uncircumcised piece. Okay, um, I think, I think honestly on this one, we got a couple of ones that we've heard before. I think that I don't know who's going to beat to not waste Tim's time. I don't I don't know. I think it's that I don't know. I think the winner I don't even think we need to go through it this time. I think

the clear cut winner right now is going to be Akash Singh better laugh and agree or Schultz is getting a new H1B. I think that's that's the winner. You are the winner. You go to history and as his back and you'll see your name up there in lights. Thank you so much for joining the Patreon. Tim, where can they see you? TimDillonComedy.com is any live dates, Tim Dillon Show. That's it baby.

Check it out. KristyComedy.com, YanisPComedy.com, we got YanisPappasComedy.com, sorry. Yeah, or History Hyenas is Back. Or HistoryHyenasIsBack.com. All our live dates are up there. Thank you so much, babes. Yeah, see me in Philly this weekend. Go this weekend.