History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - WEPA in the Morning - Kamala Harris has been RESURRECTED!

Episode Date: August 14, 2020

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What's up, everybody? Buenos noches! Good morning, buenos tardes! Wepa! Who's in the same room? Ellen can't dance anymore. Her legs have been taken by cancel culture, but we still can.

Yas! We're here. We're doing Wepa in the morning for the first time ever live from the studio. It looks like there's a tape delay on our end. I hope you're not seeing it on your end. It's the first time we're doing it. Who cares? It doesn't matter. Kamala Harris is my vice president.

I just want to let one out. I want to start my day. I was holding it in. I was waiting for someone to bring it up. I wanted to do it on the show so we can all do it together. Everybody who's watching live right now, take a deep breath. And one, two, three, let's get it out. One, two, three. Yeah.

So fucking here for it. V's here for it. She tweeted it. Celebrities are tweeting it. Everyone's for it. V's here for it. She tweeted it. Celebrities are tweeting it. Everyone's tweeting it. I tweeted that I made a joke saying that I thought that Kamala died earlier in the week. And people were telling me I'm racist because I made a wrestling joke about a dead wrestler. But then I saw some of my other friends tweeting it and they got love for it.

So I don't know. So who cares? It doesn't matter. The world's on fire. But listen, Kamala Harris joe biden congrats i think it's i think it's going to be a a very promising ticket but unfortunately it's not the winning number there's a lot of people in this country i'm kidding i'm just kidding there's a lot of people in this country who probably thought madonna's religion kabbalah won yeah because i mean is she does she follow kabbalah is she indian

asian what is she who's claiming her what where is history being made because it's the only thing i'm here for kamala listen most likely because you know you understand joke around but we're mostly democratic kids and i think kamala harris and joe biden is obviously kamala harris has got an amazing political background. You know, attorney general of California does great things. I think she was the right pick for Joe Biden because I don't know. Here's my theory. I don't think Joe Biden is even going to make it to the election. I think he'll die before November. And then I think legally she becomes a presidential candidate. So she'll be the president. But also we keep calling her

African-American first African-American vice president. Her father's Jamaican and her mother's Indian. So she is a person of color. She's a POC. She's AOC POC. Yes, she's. But but she's not African-American, which I which is OK. It's OK that she's not African-American. But I'm just I want to point that out that she's not African-American. And I'm Sean King's a big fan of hers. Yeah, well, she's not an African-American. Neither is Ilhan Omar. She won her primary against an African-American.

So it was an African-American who conservatives wanted to win. White conservatives wanted to win. And then there was a Muslim African immigrant that white liberals wanted to win. And then there was a Muslim African immigrant that white liberals wanted to win. So, I mean, it was a real, they both had horses in the race.

Right. And they both rose a lot of, how do you say risen? Rose money. How do you raise money? Jesus rose from the dead three days after he died. He has risen. But if you,

so that's Jesus. But if you're rising money, do you risen money or he died on Friday. He has risen. But if you so that's Jesus. But if you're rising money, do you risen money or road money or rise? He raised money. Raised money. OK, yeah. So he they both raise a lot of money because he raised money and you're a raisin. I'm a raisin. Yeah, I'm a show tonight, guy.

We got it. I got a show tonight. I got a show tonight with Soul Joel. With Soul Joel, baby, who now has become like the main booker on the East Coast. Yeah. He's got a tell there. He's got Norman there. He's got Jay Ocres in there. Yeah. He didn't get Chrissy D, though. He didn't get Chrissy D. He tried, and

I let him scoop me. You got away. You got away. But a lot of elections last night. Ilhan Omar won. Kamala's the VP. Sean King tweeted the opposite of what he tweeted in 2018. Let's read those tweets. Let's the VP Sean King tweeted the opposite of what he tweeted in 2018 let's read those tweets let's read those Sean King tweets and V totally has the okay

to critique Sean King from her black friends that is okay and Sophia's black Perea said Sean King is out I can tell that her black Perea said it's okay to make fun of Sean King yeah they are not here for Sean King they believe he's a charlatan.

This is the first time we've seen Vanity's face in the morning ever. And we've been doing a morning show for about four months now. And we've never seen her face until right now. And she just put the mask back up. Yeah. She's been having it. She's usually been wearing a black mask. It's almost like our producer's been Cobra Commander. Yeah. It's what it is. Yeah. It's almost like our producer's been dressed like Elon Omar. Because if we went to a Halloween party, me and you could just go with whatever we wanted to go to, and our producers wouldn't have to dress up at all because they could just go as the Big Lebowski

and Cobra Commander. Yeah, you could just go there, and then you can just go as Sean King, and you look like him, and I could go as Ellen because I look like her. Yeah, or yeah, we could just go as those guys, or you could go as that Albanian rock star who you look like.

Remember we posted those photos? Oh, yeah. I look like some random gay guy from Argentina in Florida. And you look like an Albanian rock star. Yeah, and we were talking about the Battle of Midway. I was talking about it last week or the movie I watched, Midway. And they said I look like the actor from Midway. And I'm like, wow, I do if he was anorexic.

Yeah. Or if I was anorexic. People just keep sending me spiders and say I look like that. Because spiders have one eye in the middle. from midway and i'm like wow i do if he if he was anorexic yeah or if i was anorexic people just keep sending me spiders and say i look like that because spiders have one eye in the middle yeah it's just what it is you're yanni cyclops because if i grew a goatee i would look like a tarantula you would you would just look like a fucking tarantula notice the tarantulas look like bikers they look like bikers they do look like bikers yes um okay so um what else do we got what other i got i got i love i got love for allah I got? I got I love I got love for Allah.

You got love for Allah. And I got love for Kamala. Yeah. Yes. Kamala Harris. So the fucking race is set. And here's some reaction. Sean King said this is Sean King in 2018.

This is not Photoshop, by the way. No, this is not Photoshop. No, way no this is not photoshop no it's not photoshop um this is sean king i will i'll be frank and tell you two democrats because he talks slow i'll do it like him i'll be frank and tell you two democrats that i am 99 sure i won't be supporting primarily because of their dismal history on criminal justice reform over the course of their entire careers, Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. They both helped build an advanced mass incarceration.

That was a pretty fucking good Sean. Good. I didn't even know I had Sean King in me. And then let's go to his tweet yesterday. Okay. Yeah. Just get the tweet that he tweeted out yesterday because he started the one.

Because I'm in an XL and I still look fat. Yeah, you're just, you put on the baby weight, it's okay. Sean King, Sean King's tweet from yesterday. So Giannis just wrote that one where Sean King started, I'll be Frank. This one he should have started with, I'll be Frank's beans because he said, that's it for me. I am incredibly proud to see a brilliant black woman in HBCU grad chosen as a

vice presidential nominee. I've done political work my whole life. It's rarely things dreams are made of. Kamala Harris is the most progressive VP nominee in American history. Wow. Yeah. So it's funny that he said, yeah,

you want to know how i know sean king is white yeah because he likes flip-flops yeah he likes yeah the joke clip it because he said and it's funny that joe that uh uh what's his face sean king said it's dreams are made of you know this is what dreams are made of and then donald trump said kamala harris a dream candidate he said it's a dream to debate her or something like that. Yeah. Dream candidate to debate. Trump trolled her again. Yeah. Trump, he can't be topped on the troll. He said she's a dream opponent. She's a dream opponent. She said she's the opponent that you dream of. He's an opponent that you dream of. So just an easy because he said she started strong in the Democratic

primary, which is true. And then by the end, she was down to zero. She kind of got destroyed by what's her name from Hawaii? Who was who was a pop? Peace. Peace. She was the Democratic candidate from Hawaii who they said wasn't really a Democrat. They thought she was like a

Russian plant because, you know, Democrats have a little bit of a mental illness. Tulsi Gabbard. She was a piece. Was she not a piece? She used to do yoga on her Twitter. No, because I don't fucking know. Because which fucking candidate did you want to bang out the most? Oh, there we go. Tulsi Gabbard.

Yeah, you'd get cracked open. While she was born in 1981? Yeah. Because there's a lot of people that are young. There's a lot of people that are young, or we're getting old, cuz. Cuz you're approaching middle. Well, for when your diabetes says you're going to die, you're middle-aged. I'm middle-aged. Your blood, your numbers say you're middle age. I'm middle age. I'm your blood. Your numbers say you're middle age.

My numbers say I'm middle age. I'm 30. I'm going to be 36 in a couple of weeks. And I mean, Veneti is 27 or 28, but her politics are 12. Their politics are 12. And what's Pinky Mike? How old is Pinky? Because Pinky Mike, 27, 28. Yeah, but his liver's liver says he's 80. Yeah, he's got a fucking drink, but he's just inherited a bad one. He's inherited a bad one. Because when you're an Irish, you're just born with a bum liver. Let's get to this news on Jessica Chastain.

I'm happy to see our white actors and actresses. Jessica Chastain reveals that Kamala Harris doll, that her daughter plays with a Kamala Harris doll. He's got a two-year-old daughter playing with a Kamala Harris doll that her daughter plays with a Kamala Harris doll. He's got a two year old daughter playing with a Kamala Harris doll and she says hello Madam Vice President to the doll. So I just can't wait to watch all these white fucking celebrities

start rolling out their bullshit. Let's pandering bullshit psychosis. I like Kamala Harris too. I really like Kamala Harris, but I mean shut up with the dolls. Let's see. I want to see this. This is fun. So a lot of kids play with Marvel characters and Barbies. The truth is she's saying nothing.

Even when I look, she's on mute. There it is. Hello, Madam Vice President. She plays with superheroes. Hello, Madam Vice President. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Right side of history. Yes. That's going to get me more roles in movies. Right side of history. Yes. That's going to get me more roles in movies. Right side of history. Yes. That's what she that's why they do it. You got to understand that's why they do it. They said this is what's going to get me booked. So it's bullshit because here's the truth. Jessica Chastain, I guarantee you, if I was able to put a little fucking nesting cam over your shoulder in that voting booth, you're going to go to the right because you got a lot of money and it's fun to just watch celebrities lose their influence

because whatever they tweet nobody really cares anymore people care about what taylor swift tweets because she's huge you're either massive or you're a tiktok star at this point it's like bobby it's like ricky bobby said you ain't first Yeah, nobody cares about those middle actresses anymore. Nobody's checking in to see what Natalie Portman's got to say about the upcoming 2020 election. People want to know what fucking Logan Paul's got to say, and they want to know what Taylor Swift's got to say, but they're not really checking what Kerry Washington has to say, although she did say yas.

Shout out Natalie Portman. Shout out Natalie Portman from Syosset, Long Island, that did a good movie with the Black Swan. That's right. Shout out to the Black Swan. I was going to make a joke, and I stopped myself. Yeah, if you were thinking about calling somebody the Black Swan, you better not.

No, it had nothing to do with that. It had more to do with the comedy community, Natalie Portman something, and maybe Mike will get it because he's an Opie and Anthony fan. Oh, yeah, I know what you're talking about i was going there but i stopped myself i put the brakes on because we just don't know anything we just don't know a fucking goddamn thing um dr fauci doubts safety and effectiveness of russia's new coronavirus vaccine well bub is i'll tell you the truth dr ouchie fauci i love what you're Bob, but unfortunately, Russia beat us just like they beat us to the moon. What if the Russian vaccine is kind of like all the Russian inventions, like little little gadgets that when I was a kid, like the Russians in Brooklyn would create these little devices. Right. That would trick the pay phones into putting money. It was the noise

from the pay phone. So you'd put it to the speaker and it would sound like we're going in. Yeah. So what if the coronavirus is just sort of like a bootleg version of it probably is the real vaccine. Yeah. That like, you know, is made by the Russian mob. Yeah.

Or like they, they send you the rush. They send you the Russian vaccine. It's just like a dog. It's just, you have to keep, it gets smaller and smaller. It's like a Russian dog.

It gets small. It's stupid. Listen, here's the truth is Russia probably does have the vaccine. And I don't mind if Russia does have something that's working. Just give it to your people first and then sell it to us. If I got to pay a little bit more in taxes, I just want to get the vaccine or just fucking make believe everybody has a vaccine. So the fucking country opens again.

So we could just I just want to go back to the gym or maybe Russia. I don't want to turn this into conspiracy cuties. But look at my loaf. Yeah, you got it. Look at my loaf on the camera in my lulus it looks like i have a puss because for some yeah i've seen your loaf and i've never asked to see your loaf so that's what's disturbing about you yeah cuz i never asked to see it but somehow a video came in the mail where you show me and you said yeah you were asking me if this

is a rash and i'm not a doctor yeah i sent my uh i sent i sent a picture of my loaf to joe list the other day yeah i announced it's what it is um what if i don't want to turn this into conspiracy cuties but what if russia created the virus in order to create the vaccine because they already had it because they knew it was going to be like a new type of cold world arms race and they wanted to get there first like the moon because are we gonna have to fucking do a green screen vaccine now like we did about the moon landing yeah 100 russia got there first. I guarantee you. Here's what's going to happen. Children, look at the way he's sitting and look at the job that we're doing.

Joe Biden, Joe Biden is going to die before November 3rd and Kamala Harris will be the presidential nominee. And maybe when that mark that check it, then also Donald Trump. What's going to happen is right around when biden dies of old age or something it's a heart attack stuff like that you know you're going to see the numbers soar because kamala has to be like she's gonna be the next president that's what's gonna happen around october 18th october 19th halloween october 31st 2020 out of his back pocket you're gonna see donnie t with the vaccine in america Dr. Fauci is going to approve it because they'll kill his fucking family if he doesn't say he does. He's going to approve it.

We're going to get the vaccine. Trump's going to win again. And the rest is going to be history. So mark my words. Clip this. That's what it's going to be. Benatishek. No, girl, work, girl, work.

And it's going to be called the Trump vaccine, just like all his businesses. Hundred percent. He'll call it vaccine Trump. or trump up yeah 100 you're currently watching wepa in the morning this is our live morning show that we do and this is what it might turn into because i'm getting sick of doing it every day yeah so if you're watching this because we're probably we're in the studio so we're probably going to release this on YouTube. If you're watching this, you can watch it. Everydaypatreon.com slash Bay Ridge Boys. Go join up. Also, tons of bonus content. Tons of bonus content.

And we knew about it, but it's breaking news to the group chat with Debo and my friends. Deion Sanders has left the NFL Network and is working for Barstool. Yeah. Which is what they needed to do after fucking Dave Port portney interviewed the president and it became a trump network the net the way to solve that is to get showtime to your network is you need a black guy and then they got dion yeah well here's the deal if this would have happened like a couple years ago you would have said what's going on with dion's career what's up with showtime that he's going to the internet now you're going like wow the guy's probably gonna make some money now finally gonna make some money he's finally gonna make some money Now you're going like, wow, the guy's probably going to make some money now. Finally going to make some money.

He's finally going to make some money. And he'll be able to be himself a little bit more because Dion is wild. Yeah. Dion is one of my favorite things. Dion Sanders said, every one of his, he goes, what'd he say?

He said, 70% of the earth is covered by water. I cover the rest. That's what it is. Fucking dope. Is that? Yeah. And the kid was an amazing baseball

player too yeah he was he played baseball too played baseball he was a switch hitter he was by sports you're a switch hitter too I'm a switch hitter too cuz yeah cuz I got one eye but I see well yeah you got way out yanni because god has a sense of humor because I often can see into the future with a lot of my predictions but I only got got one eye, but you only got one eye. So that's how it bounces out. That's what it is. Um, all right.

Summer Redstone has died. The, uh, executive or the creator, I guess, owner, whatever majority owner of Viacom, he's dead and he's died at 97.

But I mean, the kid, let's be honest. I think he died in 2001 and nine 11. I mean, if you don't think that this has been kept alive by some, some type of electrical pulse that they've put inside his body. I mean, if you don't think that this has been kept alive by some some type of electrical pulse that they've put inside his body. I mean, the kid was 97. I mean, his hair looks 24.

So, yeah, I mean, talking about all the different ages our stuff is. I mean, the kid's 97, but he's got for some reason he's got Brad Pitt's head of hair. Yeah, it's what it is. And he always had like a young piece of a wife. Yeah. And he's just Sumner Redstone. So we're sorry to see him go. But I mean, what can you do? And if you're asking who Sumner Redstone is,

he was the CEO of Viacom. Now, Viacom was the company that owned other companies that you thought were competing with each other because that's what happens when the Monopoly board is one. So it was like, what do you own? He owned like Comedy Central, VH1, MTV, Showtime, whatever the fuck he owned like comedy central vh1 mtv showtime whatever the fuck he owned what is this the last blockbuster has been turned into an airbnb absolutely where is it where is it is it in alaska or something like that i bet you it's in los angeles just

somewhere trendy so the last blockbuster there was the block there's they still have the tower record store in la that they it's like what is it though is it an apartment building uh no the blockbuster is a storefront that they turn into an airbnb so air maybe airbnb bought it and wanted to do something like cool yeah i mean it's joe you know what you know we're just finding out here neither one of us read the article we didn't read the article which is mostly how it goes to me on web i just let it rip yeah that's just i just read the headlines and form an opinion yeah that's just what it is so who bought it so? So the last blockbuster is now an Airbnb, which is going to happen to TV studios.

At some point, ABC will be an Airbnb. It's in Alaska. Oh, Oregon. I'm sorry. It became America's last blockbuster. You know what else is in Oregon? Portland. Take it, Russia.

Take it. Take it. The FFAC. Yeah, take it. Because at some point it the can ffc yeah take it because at some point everything may become an airbnb it's what it is we should i mean airbnb i mean if you own a place because why don't you airbnb the baby's room when she's not there and i'll rent it out from you i'll buy the airbnb put it on our company because the baby's got a new bed coming in she's coming in on next week the baby's got a new fucking loft bed and it's cute.

And I needed a real man to change out the ceiling fan. And that real man did that for me. And he was paid in cash. Because your furniture in your apartment is kind of like a dental cleaning. Yeah. Every six months, you just got to go in and get it freshened up. I get a freshened up. I got a fucking squeak of a couch on that.

Venetia's per day I gave me, which has been giving me a moderate to severe back pain. And that's all going to get a new couch soon. And by bugs. Yeah. And bed bugs. Because this whole episode, I feel like could be a work. But are you ready to work in the studio? I'm ready to fucking work in the studio, even though I've been working since about four o'clock yesterday.

When Kamala Harris was announced as my VP. You better work. Turn to the left. I'm going to work with no music on. Are you working? Is the music playing? Come on, girl. Turn to the left.

Work it, girl. Turn to the right. Do your thing. On the runway. Come on, girl. Work. You better work, girl. Yes. So Kamala Harris is our official worker girl of the runway. Work, you better work, girl. Yes.

So Kamala Harris is our official worker girl of the week, of course, forever. Yes, yes, yes. But our worker girl for today is the first black female pilot, right? Something like that. Yeah. Yeah.

Pull up the story because we didn't read this one either. We didn't read this one either. But there she is. She's a piece. She's a piece. Her name is madeline g sweggle and she is the first u.s navy black female tactical air pilot and she received her wings of god this year work it girl yes yes yes congratulations to uh miss madeline sweggle uh you make this country proud we salute you Work it, girl. Yes, yes, yes. Congratulations to Miss Madeline Swaggle. You make this country proud.

We salute you. Guys, I think 2020 is going to be the woman of the year. Yes. Yeah, it's only a couple of months, because back to 2021, it'll be the guys again. Well, who's going to be 2020's time person of the year? Who's it going to be this year? Is it going to be Kamala Lala?

No, for me, for me. Who's it going to be this year? Is it going to be Kamala Lala? No, for me, for me. Who's it going to be right now? Right now, if I had to pick, that's a tough question, but I'm giving it to Venetia. You would give it to Venetia? I give it to Venetia

because she's Greek and I'm loyal to our team. Yeah, loyalty team. I think right now you have to give it to Lucy Liu. Where is Lucy Liu? I don't know. She's fucking causing havoc in our countries.

I was a coronavirus joke. Oh, you didn't have to qualify it. We got it. Yeah, we got it. We understood. So what can you do? I'm just kidding. Way.

And here's the thing. She's from Taiwan. She's a Taiwanese American, but I think she was taiwan every yes taiwan is basically the china that we like yes that's what that taiwan is good china yeah we could just it should it should be it should be in the wikipedia and are we on mute and you can credit history hyenas that taiwan is the china we like yeah it's the good china it's the good china just call it good china we got the good china yeah yeah um what can you do so yeah so i mean bubbies it's yeah i mean we got a new world i'm excited for the breakfast that you got us yeah i got us here's what i tell you i got i got i haven't memorized i got uh mike i got binky mike

a bacon egg and cheese with ketchup um I got three iced coffees, negro. I got two pineapple, kale, spinach, mint smoothies. And then I got Giannis and I kale, egg whites, roasted peppers, caramelized onions, cheese on a croissant. Very delicious is what I got. Do we got some more news stories besides Kamala? Thereala nothing about listen it's kamala harris it's about kamala it's about ilan amar it's about oh ilan amar we haven't spoke well we spoke that she won oh she won she won yes she won so congratulations to her she met

uh first time challenger um he wrote they both raised a lot of money and um what can you do and what can you do and yeah and um kam Kamala Harris is really the big news today. And Ilhan Omar. I mean, that's it. I mean, Kamala is in. And we got a there's a reboot of the fresh Prince of Bel-Air is coming to TV. So do you think every time Ilhan Omar meets with Bernie Sanders, she puts an extra mask on because he's Jewish?

Probably. Probably. Right. Yeah, probably. Yeah, because because from her perspective that's what i'm saying from her perspective yeah because that's the thing it's like we've elected someone you forgot to set that up we've just sounded like you were saying it yeah no no i said do you think elon omar puts because yeah because she's you know i just feel like we've elected someone who just has

on record saying she doesn't like jewish people pretty much i mean i definitely i think you know what's funny about masks is they can also double as yarmulkes. They can't do that. Dude, that's what I do all the time. Do you think Jewish guys just go like that and pull it down over the face? That's what I've been doing. Yeah.

Yeah. Because, yeah, yammies have two purposes. Yeah. They have dual purposes. Veneti is having a heart attack this morning. Look, we've had our coffee. It's been boosted on the Patreon. We're on the page.

There's got to be one place where comedians can take jokes and swings and misses. And it's the Patreon. Yeah. And nothing's been a miss. We've been hitting them all out of the park. Patreon dot com slash Bay Ridge Boys. If you want to watch the show every day live 9 a.m. Eastern.

Also, bonus content. This is Wep on the morning. That's Chris DiStefano. I'm Giannis Pappas. We are the history hyenas. We're also fucking cute. And we got smoothies. And go see Giannis tonight in Royceford, PA.

Exactly. Whenever you're listening to this, go see me, and see me at the Stress Factory. See Chrissy at Chrissy. Who the fuck knows? Christy Comedy.com. Just go to ChristyComedy.com. Yeah, and go see Venetia at the next protest near you

at a statue toppling. Cute. We'll see you soon. Statue toppling. Cute. We'll see you soon. Is the music playing? Yeah, it's playing now.

Okay. This was fun. Let's see. Did people like it on the chat? Yeah, yeah. It goes up. We're still on. Oh, we're still on?

Yeah. It looks like Night at the Roxbury's. Chris Kattan's a fucking nut job.