History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - What Makes a Step Dad w/ Dan Soder | History Hyenas

Episode Date: August 7, 2025

Dan Soder drops by to chop it up about everything under the sun, and the boys get into what really makes a stepdad. Is it just the guy dating your mom — or is there more to it? Is it up to the kid? Does it depend on how long he’s been around? You’re gonna wanna tune in to find out. Support our sponsors: Get your first month of BlueChew FREE Just use promo code HYENAS at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping. https://bluechew.com #comedy #Podcast #History Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas/ Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit.ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0 Hyenas Merch!!! https://teespring.com/stores/historyhyenas Follow us Cuz! 🙆🏻‍♂️ Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ 🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ 🐕More Hyenas Website: www.historyhyenasisback.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/historyhyenas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HistoryHyenas Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/historyhyenaspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up, everybody. We got an absolute banger of an episode with Dan Soder, where we talk about stepdads and all types of stuff. And his hair plugs. And his hair tits. See me live in Rosemont, Illinois. That's Chicago this weekend. Then Tampa next weekend. Then you could see me in Poughkeepsie, New York the weekend after that. Miami, Florida, September 11th, 12th and 13th. Bakersfield, California, October 3rd and 4th. Toronto, October 18th. And then Tulsa, October 24th, 25th. And then Bozman, Montana. November 22nd, and then more dates. Janicepapiscom, or historyhyenaspod.com, or history hyenasback. That's it, baby, whichever one you want to go to. And then this weekend, I will be in Oklahoma City on Friday, Tulsa, Oklahoma Saturday. And then August 21st, Toronto, August 22nd, Royal Oak, Michigan, August 23rd, Pittsburgh. August 27th, we are in Stanford, Connecticut.

Our live show is sold out. So if you want to get on the wait list, go there. September 5th, Chicago Theater, and September 11th. Theater at Madison Square Garden and September 27th going to Saudi Arabia. Saudi Arabia! It's just what it is.

Go to Christycomedycom or History Aheanas is Back.com and we got new merch. We got new merch coming up so we will announce that very shortly. It's about to drop also fellas history and ladies. History Hyenas.

Patreon.com slash history hyenas. Go join for ad free episodes a day early, bonus episodes and other goodies. Yeah. Patreon is the show that we used to do five years ago.

for free, you just pay five bucks and you get it. What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of History, Yajinas. That's Chris DeStefano. I'm Yannis Pappas. We got one of the best in the biz and one of our favorites, one of your favorites in the house.

He's going on a big theater tour. Go to his website. Get the tickets. It's Dan Soder, the guy from Denver. Yeah. Yeah. Denver. With the hair transplants coming in like a black woman.

Dude, don't miss with my hair. I had to fucking sleep it now. It looks good, dude. Hair tits have been on for fucking years now. This is online, baby. Hair tits is the best we've talked about in the show many times. We think it's just the best coin term for hair. It's hair tits and it belongs to you.

It's the 90s for boys with hair tits. Yeah. It's like the way women were getting tits in the 90s, boys are getting hair dues. Yeah. Yeah. You, uh, the way it's grown in and kind of become one, it looks great. Yeah, it's settled. And I said, you almost look like biracial.

Right. Your hair's biracial. Right. You got, like, if Jason Kid grew out his hair You use a pick to comb it? No, it's not even that. It's... It's...

Dude, my hair has always been fucking... It's not... I don't think it's that curly, though. It does... No, you're the most curls I've ever seen. It looks great. Yeah, we're all fuzzed up. Yeah, you look a little...

It looks like, uh, it doesn't move. I'll be like, um, y'all, y'all, you all know this white people, man? Yeah, y'all white motherfuckers, it's nuts. Y'all be going... Y'all be going to picnics with mayonnaise in your pocket. Yeah. All of a sudden, Dan Soda's from Oakland is from Oakland. I'm like, hey, for real, though, ain't no morx?

I started talking to that. Markis Buster, hey, for real, debate, though, in the bay? You're like, where did this come from? It's his hair, it's his hair. It's his black hair. You remember Jessica Kierston had that great black woman character? Yes. And she just had to stop doing it.

Oh, yeah, because she's gone trouble on Facebook. But now she can do it again. She should just do it again. She should do it again. Barry Robin Williams. Yeah. I don't know, when Robin Williams would do a black guy, you go, what is this, the 70s black exploitation film?

He would do the thing where you go like Say hey And you're like Whoa My guy I have black hair But I won't talk like that Dude

Yeah it took me 30 minutes to get ready With all my afro sheen this morning What So when you get You guys come over I got a wave cap on Yeah it looks like you got Dry Jerry curls

Like today You were not going to the club Yeah Yeah Because you know a guy with Jerry curls There are days Where he doesn't go to the club Right

They're not wet. Yeah, you guys just come over, and it's just that too. Yeah. Katie's like, you can't come in right now, dancing. We're not here. Sorry, the house just smells of coconut butter. I have a lot of artwork with black canvases, but like orange tigers in front of it. What I always say is cocoa butter is the smell of black friendship.

It is. If you have a black friend and they get in your car, it's just cocoa butter. But it smells great, and I enjoy it. And it's unbelievably great at moisturizing your skin. It's really good. Us cracked whites, well, now that I'm half black. Yeah, you're half black, dude, you look biracial. That's so funny, I go to the hair, doctor, I go, what hair did you give?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, in those movies where they give, like, the guy, the guy gets his arm cut off, and they give him, like, the hand of a killer? Yeah. Like, like, we're giving him a black thing, and I'm like, I'm doing a lot of actouts on stage. Yeah, I don't know where it's from. They're like, you're like, you're like, Tyrone Johnson, right? They're like, oh, my God, they gave him the wrong hair!

So you're not Sequan James. And why did we give you that? And he's walking around, like, long, like, him out of hair. He's like, he's, like, bring the way. He's like, I'm crying, and I'm wondering, where? Why am I talking like this, man? Yeah. There is that.

You see, there's, like, the, on the internet, there's, like, a group of black dudes who look like hoods, like kind of, they look like they're from the hood. I know, exactly. But they do, like, white songs. Making my way in the way. And they're all. And they lip sync, like, Vanessa Harlton, all this shit. It's the best.

It is great. Now, we're obviously with history hyenas, right? And what I love about you. your face yeah yes is it's it's it's it's it's it has all of history in it yeah bobby kelly used to say that i have the nose of like a roman's like a roman nickel you have the face of a guy who fought in battle who never fought in battle like your face was formed by generations of ancestors who got their nose pushed like face pushed in shorts yeah

getting the butt end of a sword as i as i charged into a group yeah yeah yeah like if i met you would be like oh dude you used to be a boxer and you're like oh no no no that's just I grew up in Denver, I busts table. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You're like, I used to do shows at the Maui Taco. No, it was really hard. Those were my battles.

Yeah, yeah. I have Swedish, I'm half Swedish, so it's definitely like guys running to take a hundred yards of mud from the fins. Yeah, it looks like you have scar tissue like above your eye. Well, that's true. I do have scar tissue. What happened? That's a drunken fall. This is a dog bite.

Yeah. So I get a lot on the eye is very white. trash six years old man what you didn't you weren't in a lot of fights with other people you were in fights with animals yeah yeah with the animals wait how did a dog bite you on the what happened i was at my friend's house it was um like six days before christmas seven days before christmas and it was just poor just dumping snow and they had their his dog he had a husky chow mix and had a broken paw but they didn't have it taped up or anything they were like gonna take him to the vet and they had him he was an outside dog and they had he was an outside dog and they

had him on the inside where like, you know, those bars that go down to the basement. His, his leash and shit were attached. I was six. We were like, me and my friend Justin were playing with our GI Joe's. He got up to get something to drink, stepped on his dog's paw by accident. I was right in front of it. The dog went forward, snapped the bar off the thing and just got my face. I had to get 47 stitches, like all the way down here, all the way under here.

He got me up here. Damn. He fucked my shit up. Would he not get off? Like, he was attacking him? My friend's dad was big, big dude, like, worked with his hands. And all I remember is him, like, picking the dog up WWF style and fucking throwing it into the backyard. Wow.

And, like, I got up and I just felt, I was like, I just felt the warmth of blood. Yeah. And they picked me up and I was like, do I need stitches? That's the first thing I said. It's funny how you don't feel the pain from the wound. Like when I got shot, the reason why I knew where it was was I felt the blood. You feel the warmth. I feel the warmth of the blood.

But you didn't feel the pain of the bullet at all. No. And I didn't feel the pain until they took me to the hospital. They called my mom and my mom went with us to the hospital. Trish. Trish. And she worked at Aetna. She was, you know, always worked in the church.

She worked at Aetna? Those are the good ticks. She had Aetna Tid. Oh, my God. She worked at the home office. That's why I was born in Hartford. I went to get that Aetna. You were born in Hartford.

Yeah, because Trish was working a whole. Aetna home office. Holy shit. You just became more attracted to more Resol. And then we moved to Colorado because of Aetna, but my mom was like, she called

this people she worked with because she worked in medical shit and she was like, who should I call it? My son's face is like falling off his face and they were like, get a plastic surgeon and they came in and this dude Dr. Brady, like came in and fucking gave me like, but the pain was when he was doing

Novakane shots in my face. That was first time that I was like yeah because he was just putting a fucking I mean it was like you can see this right the doctor was like a quarter of an inch in and he would have lost his eye yeah well I'd have a white eye just an eye patchy yeah the dogs they bite you dude you're the only dude I know who has hair tits and a facelift yeah you've had plastic surgery and LASIC yeah I'm like a I'm like a criminal Interpol's looking for yeah they go what if I told you your friend's name as Franken von Dutch.

You find out, I'm like an East German criminal, and I've been on the run forever. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I didn't know you had pleasant. No, I mean, my face looks exactly the same,

but if you see, like, the guy, like, my whole face was like a flap. Yeah. And the guy put it down and, like, that's crazy. Okay. No, yeah, I met you when you were in your early 20s, and you just always had the face

of a 42-year-old guy. I've always been weathered. Well, when you were drinking, yeah, but now you look younger. Yeah, when I quit smoking, it was like, it immediately pulls it back where you're like, Damn, I was beating the shit out of my body.

When you quit drinking and smoking and you see people seven months later, they're like, you look great. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, no, no, I eat frozen skittles every day. Yeah. Freeze dried skittles are the fucking shit. That's crazy. So with the freeze dried skittles is like that's what you're doing it or they're selling them like that?

They're called skittles popped. But I got him on the Burt Kreischer's tour bus. He had a bag of them just like next to the door. And I was just like standing and I just stand there and eat handfuls of it. I'd be like, what are these? Yeah. And his tour manager was like, it was, uh,

freeze-dried Skittles. And then Skittles did the smart thing. Everyone was doing it. And then finally Skittles was like, fuck it. We'll do our own name brand. And those. Rock.

Go get them. See, I'm not a sweet sky like that. I need chocolate. Like if you told me they were freeze-dried like Reese's peanut butter cup. Ooh. I do that. But skit, like you could not, you could take that handy away for me like Jolly Ranchers.

I don't know that. You wouldn't miss it. I need chocolate big. Reese's though. Reese's though. I'm a Reese. boy. I need peanut butter and chocolate almost every day in my life. That's the thing that's

tough. Like, I would give up chocolate before if you told me you have to give a pizza or chocolate, I'd give a pizza, which is a lot to say. Whoa. Yeah, because I love chocolate. I don't even know who you are in here. What the Bro. No! Bro! I don't even know who you. Better than Donald Turncoat. You give a

you give a fucking pizza for chocolate? Because I love chocolate. Holy shit. I love Tira Tiram Missouz. Really? I love Tiram Missudes. So the problem is, now that I'm about to do the theater tour, we already did a couple theaters, and my manager was like, you need a writer.

And I just was like, you know, I don't know, coffee, fucking water, whatever. I was like, I love Reese's peanut butter cups. And now they give me a fucking bag of them shits. Yeah. And I just take it back to my hotel room. And I'm like, what am I doing? Let's just be honest. Can I just say something?

I know you may be uncomfortable, but me and Chris won't be uncomfortable. But when the theater gets an act in. Yeah. And they see that the act is not, is Caucasian. Yeah. They're a little happy. They sigh a little bit of a relief when they go, all right, let's talk about the rider. Yeah.

Oh, we don't need a magnum of, fucking patrol. We don't need, as Donnell Rawlings used to do for his writer, a bottle of lotion on ice. Yeah, and a new pair of sneakers like Eddie Griffin. I think we need to start doing that. It's like, Dan Sodor's coming. y'all take some turkey sandwiches and maybe a rhesus peanut buttercups like oh have a caesar salad a vegetable crudas ha and some frozen peanut butter cups you guys have any leftovers in your fridge yeah that's it and then he boy he does want a wave cap but it's it's just his hair it's between shows there to go this isn't the writer yeah yeah yeah where is my don hulio you're like you're like wave cap extra room for his mama like what is this this is not is this is dan soda right your family green room is prepared

Yeah, like, no, no, no, it's, yeah. I heard about one black comic that had, it was at a club in his writer where he would have a bar of high-end liquor, right? And then the next day, he'd do two shows, and then the next day, all those bottles had to be refilled. Yeah. That makes no sense.

Yeah, it doesn't make any. Or what about the, you know, everyone knows about like the Eddie Griffin one, like extra pair, you know, needs to get in your shoes. Yeah. Then there was one comment. black comic i forgot who it was but it's somebody like very famous that he wanted every show or at least every weekend certain uh ethnicities of prostitutes in his green room he would like he would

make the club or the theater get into like a potential like legal situation there's no i mean there's no limits on your dreams yeah yeah when you're just asking a business to do illegal shit yeah i think they would do it they look at the writer i think a little bit like this is an opportunity for some quasi reparations yeah and they're like you know what let me a few things. Yeah. Yeah. They go, let it fly. We're going to let it slide. Yeah, they'll be like, yeah, you know what, go get me a bone from Queen and that. Yeah. And put it in the glass case. Bring back the Zulu shield. That's at the Smithsonian. And they go, absolutely. I'm really sorry, we took that. Yeah. How about yesterday? I was at a, like a party in, like family

party in Brooklyn. And, but it was friends. And we did an episode two, three weeks ago on the Tripoli, the Barbary Coast, like the, you know, You know, like in the, from the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli. So it was like, because in Tripoli, which is like modern day Libya, that pirating was like a fort, like it was their economy. Like, that was Tripoli. And they had a lot. They would take like they, you know, were pirating American goods. And it's like this whole thing.

But they had white slaves. Like white slavery was a thing. Like there were groups, there were generations of like white people that grew up their entire life as full slaves. Like they didn't know anything else. They were enslaved. Like it's what it was. so we did this episode whatever and then somebody was having a conversation another part of the party and they come over to me and they were like oh because i was like it's jasmine's friends sure they were like oh you're jasmine's husband right i was like yeah they're like didn't you do a podcast a couple weeks ago saying how like white people were slaves too and like black people like i was like i didn't necessarily say that well without the historical context that sure does sound bad i was like no that's not like what i said i was like you know it's bad for black people obviously too but i was just saying like Like white, because the woman, the woman was like, who brought this up was like, you know, like she was Asian type, but she had like all the tattoos.

Like you know she was like very, very, very liberal. Like I always say, you can judge, you can't judge a book by its cover, but you can judge a conversation by its haircut. Yes. Yes. And with me, oh, we talk about everything. Yeah. Look at me. I don't know where this conversation is going to go. Yeah, you would be perfect. You'd be like, I can justify white slavery and black slavery. Oh, hey, mama. Hey, mama.

Who's his white guy? Who's Gary Owen over here? Yeah, dude, that out of context is hilarious. You look like a guy that's like, no, I'm at the Irish. Irish is like, we had it tough. I was literally had my daughter on my lap. I was cutting her pizza into like little triangles for her to feed her. And they're like, weren't you the guy that said slavery was for white people?

I love, you could always use your kids like Hamas uses civilian. Yes. You can always just use them as a human shield. Yeah, someone accused you of being racist. You just pick up your daughter and hold it in front of you. I'm like, look, she's Puerto Rican. Yeah. Her feet are like dangling.

Just reaching out. Yeah, a little tongue clad. I was like, Dad, you told me we were white. Yeah, you go, shush, shh, shh. I'm like, not today. Do the accent. Do the accent. Yeah, come on.

They're trying to shoot their woke comments around the baby. Yeah. You're white racist. You told the baby going, yeah, yeah. You used him as human shield. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, so when you got the hair transplants, this fat, so where did you got them? In New York, I got it, uh, like the.

second year or like 2021 so everyone goes to turkey but you stayed here yeah i mean turkey you're going for the for it to be cheap got it they're doing the same procedure here it's like uh 6 000 i think there okay we get it you're doing well listen dude i got my theater tour that's what i say on stage is i got mine done in uh in new york like a nascar wife yeah a friend of mine got her fake boobs done one time and she was like yeah i get him done where the the guy that does the nascar wives and i thought that was so funny yeah she's like I get my fake tits where the NASCAR wives get it and you're like oh yeah they probably have the best fake

100% yeah so they put it in and then what does it do they cut your I did the FUT which is different than the FUE where FUE is plugs a lot of the comics that we know that have hair transplants that don't talk about it shout out Mateo he talks about it that's it um

rest of you little motherfucking snakes I know who you are yeah I got a dossier I mean Jim Jeffries I remember when he was balding and now he's got a full head of hair yeah who was like Daniel Tosh was the OG one, but he's like, he's like up front about it. Yeah. But, um, oh, Steve Carell, if you watch, like, season one of office, he's going bald.

Yeah. But I got FUT, which is they cut the strip off the back of your head. Mm-hmm. And then they put it on, and that's more permanent. So Rogan tried to do that before they were. But he did it like the 90s. That's like getting LASIC in the 80s, where they just zapped you with a laser pointer. Yeah.

Yeah. It's just they blow your eye out. Yeah. Yeah. You like, he did it. He jumped the gun. If you wouldn't wait. You, you, this, your hair right now. This is all good.

They took skin off your head and put, like, a new head on? Well, they, like, they, like, they can't even see my scar. That's why the doctor's good, because when they do, like, when I told my, uh, friend who cuts my hair, I was getting it done, she works in TV and film and shit. And she was like, don't do it. I've seen so many actors get it done. And it's just a giant scar on the back of their head. And then you got to cut your hair different or whatever.

And then I got it done. And then, like, recently she was cutting my hair. And she's like, I don't even fucking see the scar. Like, I'm back here. They do, like, laser things. Yeah, well, you got it. The whole point is they tell you with the. recoup. That's why the F-U-T is more. You have to take care of the scar. Because if you don't, it'll get

fat and big. And so some guys have that. And you can like, oh, yeah, you can just fucking see it in the back of their head. Well, you know, you might have been a little too early because, you know, now, uh, I just saw this article where they just have a regrown hair. Oh, yeah. No, it's, by the way, that's been on like the cusp of happening. Baldness is gone. Yeah, it's going to be it's, it's a choice now. Yeah. I mean, I think it's like, I honestly think it's like there, I regret it. I would probably say, like, I regret 10% of it.

Just because... You should have no regrets because there's no visible signs of it. It's great. I just feel like there's... When you watch movies from the 70s, people that are bald and shit and they're in their 40s,

you're like, it's like a... You could tell. Code you. Yeah, just my head is so misshaping, giant, that I was like, I need to throw a tarp on this bitch. Even if it is black hair. Yeah.

I need you to throw... My hair's in a rain delay right now. Yeah. But it is like I just couldn't I couldn't have a big ball If I had like a little round head I think also A cul-de-sac

On a good round head looks great Yeah Yeah You're lucky You got a full head I got a full head Yeah It's your dad out of hair

My dad has full hair We have no grace And we don't So I don't grow body here Anywhere else I have no arm hair leg hair I have a little bit of chest hair

I have very little pubs Oh you got the best deal My hair is good And that's what my dad's hair is good What I get hit with Is the cholesterol on the sugar Yeah, we all get hit with something.

I'm lucky I got a full head because I'm Greek. I just, but I need whatever can take up a little more space. Right. Because my head is so small that with the hair. We have opposite problems. Yeah, my head. Same with me. You and I have big heads.

He's got a little one. When I put on 10 pounds, I look like beetle juice in that. Yeah. In that scene. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I need bigger things. I need bigger accoutrements around my more beer. Just an accessory guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got it. Everything's distracting with him to, because if,

When he's just fully no glasses, when he's just sitting there and no shirt and his apartment, you say, wow, the kid's got a little head. When he blinks, it makes that noise. Pee, poe, poe, pee, poee. Yeah. Yeah.

I've always known I've had a giant head. And then when I started going bald, I was like, fuck, one of the options and this dude was just like one surgery. He was so confident. He was so confident. He's like, one surgery, he'll never go bald. Do they have to knock you out for it?

Everything? You stay like, it's like local. You're like kind of awake, but you're in a chair and you're just all fucking up. Eating your brain, like, in Silence of the Lamb. It's exactly what it feels like where you wake up

and you're like, are you guys touching my penis? I got a woke up in there. It's like that episode of Seinfeld where he's putting his stuff back on. Yeah.

Do you guys fuck me? But I was all like my head was all bandaged up. Mateo and his special's hilarious because it's right. You look like the alien from Mars attacks. Like the way it is.

I've seen, I've seen the videos. It's funny for somebody to do their special right after like the next day with his head all bare. Have you seen? No, have you seen the... The flights from Turkey.

Yeah. Have you seen when they back from Turkey? No. It looks like a nuclear mushroom explosion on their head. It's just like a little thing because you're not allowed. Dude, what they tell you is they're like, because it's like setting. So they're like, don't touch your head.

So there was a news story about a guy that was flying Miami to New York, I think. That's what it looks like. It's so weird because you touch it and it feels, there it is. Whoa. The one on the left is exactly what your head looked like. Yeah, that's what it looks like. Yeah, you didn't call in for spots that week. No, no, no.

You know, it's so funny as I lied to the bonfire. I was like, because I was going to my grandmas for Thanksgiving. So I got it done on like a Monday. And then I flew three days later. But the water settles weird in your head. So I had like a bulge on my forehead flying to California. It was fucking wild. That could be the name of this episode.

I lied to the bonfire. I did. But I did. And I was like, I was like, I got to go out of town early. And then I got it done. And then you came back with that? No. It heals so fast.

Within a week, you look, you look like yourself again. And then it just grows in. And then Janus, I didn't know. I was the first person to call it out. He was guest host in the bonfire. And he came and he goes, what's up with your hair? And I go, nothing? Yeah.

And then it's like, what are you talking about? And then that's because of you is when I went on the air and I was like, yeah, I got hair transplant. I don't know what I'm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want to know what it is? It's, um, you're too honest, a guy. Yeah. You can't lie.

But you know what it also. You got big morals. Danny's got big time morals. Number one in the business, I think. But I would say this, there is, and this is for anybody that is lying about something, just in general, it's always better to just fucking get the truth out than getting found out. That's why this Epstein thing is where it is, because we're beyond him saying, oh, I was a part of it. There's nothing there.

Like, we're beyond that. Right. Now it's like, oh, so if you're, you're saying you had no involvement at all. That's like me going on here, going, I don't have hair transplant. Right. My black hair. And then we pull up the picture.

Like what? You look like a white guy. That's what other celebrities do. Yeah. Like not comics. But like the best thing about being a comic is you go, I'm fucking crazy insecure. I had to get a hair transplant. Yeah.

People go, oh, I fucking felt like that. I don't see it as insecure. I see it as like, I see it as like fashion. No fashion. Yeah. Me and Jesse had this conversation and I stumped them. What did I stump you on? Was it the teeth?

I stumped you on something. Well, I said the hair. Are you going to get some plans? I like to. I looked into Dan's doctor. Maybe Judge should get some plans. Dr. Carlos Westwood. You didn't see him taking notes when Dan was made?

The first time we talked about it? He was like, that's $6,000. Can I do that in Layway? It was like when your closeted cousin goes by the touring theater company when they come to town. And he goes, so is it's life always like this? And they go, it's not. You've got to come out, baby. And that was like me doing the honest podcast.

I go, honey, you're going to thrive. Get out of this small midtown. moved to a fucking coast city and stuck all the dead. What did I stump you with? I don't remember that though and I stumped you. I stumped you good because he was going it's vanity, it's vanity and then I stumped him

with something that proved that it wasn't vanity. But I would say... Wait, what are you saying it's vanity? Him getting hair transplant? I said getting... Jesse was saying the same thing, Jesse was going like, I don't want to be vain, I don't want to be vain. I don't want to be vain.

No. But to back Jesse on this. Get the fuck out of here. It's not your turn yet. What are you doing? Get the fuck out of here. Joe's the Roast's. No, no.

You bailed on all the New York podcasts we're having our time right now yeah we're having our time right now no you're not wait here doesn't wait outside yeah i never promise you a rose garden is fucking phenomenal i would never stay in the background and he's a piece of shit he left us high and dry for a bunch of l-a and austin podcast yeah yeah jill thought there was some trance cock in here look at his fucking g he's guy you can see his ankles that's the fuck out of here go get the fuck out of here go get shoulder transplants you fuck yeah they're doing that put a pig shoulder

on you you bigger pig yeah he just walks in without knocking or anything what a hockey fuck right oh that made me that man oh my god didn't you learn anything from your adoption somebody's got to do paperwork before they want you I feel like it just walk in like the MC poster

oh you're not mommy yeah mommy no god does it that's how I think an adopt the kid always walks in room kind of always looking for mommy like she's gonna be here like she's holding a thing and going Joseph I've been waiting yeah yeah it's like no but just your friends really don't care

that's like Gary Garry Goldman has that good bit where he's like every single comedian stand-up special or one-man show should just be called Mommy look at me yeah that's all of us we're constantly just doing pool flips yeah we're going like doing flips in the pool going like look at us

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But the vain thing I get Jesse because I felt that Like after I got it done It felt like the regret You know post nut clarity Yeah I got the surgery and I was like Dude you should have just gone fucking cul-de-sac Yeah

She just gone big heavy But then I was like No fuck it, why not If it's available Was your girl okay with the I told her I go I think I'm gonna get a hand hair transplant And she goes okay

She's like I don't care if you do or don't I go, well, here's the thing. I'm going to try it. Yeah. If it works, great. If it doesn't, funnier. Yeah. Right.

You went, okay. Either way. That's the beauty about what we do. Either way, it works for you. Yeah, I was like, fuck it. But it is, um, I think it is better just to tell people instead of, like, hiding it because then the internet, the internet sleuths. They will find out.

They will find out. Oh, yeah. And you don't want to, you don't want to get called out. It's like when people, uh, Matthew McConaughey is like that. If you look him up, he got a hair transplant. But he goes, now, man, started taking roots and berries. had some roots and bears put a little water on there everything's fine

and you're like motherfucker you got an FUT surgery yeah you know you did because if you look at it you like you can see where it starts no that's not really him wait there was one see right there oh there you can see you can see I start putting some topicles on there zip zips up because then the internet

does the sleuth yeah I think there's nothing wrong with it I think what you're doing is not vain. I think it's the same as brushing your teeth. I think there is a little vanity to it, but I don't think it's like I'm not the, you know, I really just think it's the perfect comparison is fake tits.

I think what's like, women get fake tits and they feel better about themselves. Yeah. Yeah. And you're like, great. It's also there's like, this is not like a risky procedure at all. Like there's not, you're not going to die on the table of a hair transplant. No, not at all. You don't even go all the way under. No. That's the whole point. You get like wonky and then they set you out. Yeah, like the fake calves, like that is, like, now you're like risking stuff and like that's

kind of... You want to talk about vanity. I've wanted fake calves my whole life. Me too. My calves suck. They do? I would think you have great... No, no. I don't. Oh, you got them shorts on, too. No, they're not bad, dude. Oh, but... You have body dysmorphia. Here's the thing about... My guy. Here's

the thing about Chris. That's body dysmorphia. You've got beautiful calves, cuss. Thank you. I have horrible calves. Let me see. Yeah, you need work. I got nothing. Yeah Look at that That's nothing No, yours

are very Yeah he's athletic I'm telling you When I wear shorts And stuff like that It's just kind of like Yeah I'm telling you

I look like I look like I got healed by a preacher Like I just Like I just Like Bobby said someone It's like you have the body Of like a boxer in the 40s Or something like that

I'm like a V Yeah Like before weightlifting Like when you They would just lift like freaking animals That's what I do With my shirt off

I go if I puff my chest out I look like 1920 strong The thing about you The thing about you What's the thing about me The thing about you is I always feel like you're fishing for a compliment. Right. Because you like feeling good.

You like when men say you look good. Yeah. Because those... I do this for men. Yeah. Because you got fucking sweet cab. Thank you. You got fucking sweet cap.

I'm trying to hold back how angry I am. Yeah. I mean, he's like I got terrible cats. And you got fucking... I wanted to fucking... No. Well, maybe they've gotten better. Maybe they've gotten better over the last couple of months.

But I would always be the guy who people... Like, why don't you work out legs? Stick legs, things like that. So I don't know. So maybe it's just... The funniest my body's ever looked was when I played high school football because they used to laugh at me. Especially when you're on a team with black dudes because they'll find, like,

they're way better. Oh, yeah. And I had like thin calves, thin legs and then thin arms, but like big pads. So it just looked. I had like a cowboy collar and like thin legs. And they're like, look at them run around. Yeah. You go either one or two ways that I don't know.

Like, because I had a friend that was tall, much tall than you, but he was skinny like you. And fuck, could he fight? You remember Alec Curtin? Yes, I did. Fuck, he could fight. I love that. He was 6'7. He was a fist fighter.

I mean, he could just naturally throw hands. Like, he was just a good. Tall guys have the ability to land tall and lengthy. He got length, yeah. And you'll see this on any street fighting video. The straight punch is where it's at. Yeah, it's not pull, whenever I see street fights where they're like pulling the side,

always watch the tall long guys because they just come in straight. And that tall guy probably, he's just shooting down. He was shooting down. He's got the high ground. He had just skill. He was just a skill. I'm not a good fighter, but.

Yeah, I was going to say, it's either going to one way, it's like, you're either a good fighter or you're one of those guys that, you know, on the internet, you see those guys that get knocked out and they just go, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they just go.

I get punched, I go, I go, hey, what's your problem, bro? And then I get up and I go. they just like there's just like that thing and then they just fall right back you get more worried about them hitting the concrete than getting knocked out because they fall so fucking unconscious there is a great video that I saw

yesterday online of you know how Max Holloway and the UFC pointed at the middle of the octagon and they stood there in trade this guy on like a fucking low level MMA thing did it and that he pointed it and the guy stepped up and the guy just fucking knocked them out so he pointed and he went

and then the ref was on top of And he was like, what happened to the arms out or the snoring? Or they go, it's bad. Like that woman got knocked out in Cincinnati? Did you see that? That Cincinnati brawl? No. The way that this woman gets knocked out, it was like, you have nerve damage.

Did you see that? That's one of those ones where you're like, is this going to start a race where I am? Well, it, well, it, because what happened was is this one was online. People were saying, everybody was saying like this should be on the news. Like this was racially motivated, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then the news wouldn't talk about it. but now they are because of the internet. But the way this woman gets, it's not even funny.

It's just the way that her eyes are open and weird. You're like, oh, this woman has like legitimately like brain, by the way, go up that. This is the woman that got Dan's hair. Yeah. She got my hair. She got your hair. Why is my hair all silky? Yeah, yeah.

Long. But, dude, if you look at this, man, I don't know if there's the video, Jesse, but did you see like the woman? I shot. Yeah. Her face is bad. Yeah. When you see a bad knockout online, you're like, oh, oh. Oh, that's like also an MMA where they'll knock a guy out

and then they'll do the extra one. Yeah. You didn't have to do that. Yeah. I didn't need that at all. One of the funniest, well, one of the funniest knockouts in you. Somebody's hair got thrown off. That's funny.

Was when Anderson Silver knocked out, Anderson Silver got knocked out by Chris Wydenman from Long Island. Yeah, yeah. And then he kept, like, he got knocked up and then he kept grabbing his leg. Oh, when he grabs the leg. They've done that a couple times. Well, because he's uncons. He's kind of unconscious.

He's just in a dream where he's just like, I'm wrestling with him. You know how after a while, I think it was after he interviewed Daniel Cormier, Rogan was like, I'm not interviewing anybody after they get knocked out.

Right. I think his policy from now on should be he only has comedians on after we get knocked out. So like you gotta fight one of those Navy seals out in his like gym. Yeah.

Then he starts the podcast and you come in, you're like, and Joe's like, keep it up with his Epstein stuff and you go, I'm just smelling metal. He's smelling metal. he was like fucked up he's like ears bleeding

who's that guy who's that guy who's fucking rock and then he just like yeah yeah I never thought about it like yeah and you're like oh yeah Joe is that ringing never going to stop

he goes so you're going on a tour you know dude you're like I gotta go do And you go, yeah, you go, yeah, I got to show up like 30 minutes before in Spar with one of its security. Yeah. God. Oh, I love Joe.

That would be fantastic. Yeah, I mean, it just, when you think about it. Starting it on here. Yeah. Who's on this? Yeah, the guy comes in with blood trickling out of my nose? He goes, you're going to get off. It's like flap that.

Like Spade and Tommy Boy? He's fucking flapped open. Well, there was that meme going around while, like, everyone was doing that. because when he interviewed, I think, Connor. Oh, when he was sitting down with the broken legs. Throwing him in. That was great. They were photoshopping.

They get it on like the 9-11. They did it on like everything. That should be his policy from now on with stand-up. Just stand-up comedian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fresh knockout. Well, you know, he, I mean, he does do a lot of interviews with, you know, people who kind of respond that way. Like their brain injured people.

Brainer people. Right, right, right, right. Whether by trauma, physically or mentally. Right, you know? Yeah. Comedians and then he has like... Yeah, Janice and I went on there like a couple of months ago and just, I mean, we were throwing out some bombs like you can't even imagine. I mean, we would load up for like what we thought was going to be a home run joke and it would just get, what do you mean by that?

What do you mean by that, man? And then we were kicking each other. It got to the point we were like kicking each other under the table, like, oh. You're failing? Yeah. Yeah. I feel you got to slip something and just drink before you go on, like a little Spanish fly to be like this is going to be a comedy. Yeah, and he goes, what are you doing?

Get those pants off, man. Let's talk about the military. Let's get real serious. Let's get those tight jeep. Yeah. Yeah. That's the wrong idea. Get them fucking denim off you, buddy. You know what you and Chrissy have in common? That's interesting. Big white heads? Big white heads.

Coosh! We're like stegosaurus. That's how we're done recording instead of clapping. You guys, Chris, he's a stepdad. and you did you ever did you ever did anyone ever graduate to the level of stepdad but like did your mom ever have one step dad you had one step dad you had one step but your mom was remarried or long term relationship because is that like a serious that's like a serious it goes from

mom's boyfriend and then how does one get considered a stepdad it's the same way that they is you share with them or it's the same way they tell you that they're invading a country on the news what do you like hear it from other sources and they go it's official the united States has entered Iraq. Oh, it's like when a high profile NBA player gets traded. Yeah, where they go finds out on Twitter. Yeah, you get a rumblings where you go, is it crazy that kind of

Nick move some stuff in, like to the garage? Yeah. And they're like, we want to talk to you and you're like, all right, Dove Clyman, what do you got? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like this breaking in. Adam Schifter. Yeah, oh, that's funny. Your aunt's like Adam Schifter. She's like, big rumors, your mom's marrying that guy she loves. And you go, is this rich?

She goes, I don't know what you're getting back. Yeah. The dowry is. Does the kid? consider the father the stepdad. So, because even if you marry the mom, does that automatically make you a stepdad? Or you say that guy just, because if you don't like the guy, do you, you refer to him as stepdad? It almost sounds like the kid has to like the dad in order to refer to him as stepdad. It depends.

It used to be. It used to be. Here's why I think I've now become stepdad to my stepson. Because it used to be, you know, just to make things easier with my, you know, with, you know, two biological daughters and our stepson. I would just say, oh, you know, this is my wife and three kids, you know. this, whatever, just make it easy. And like, a couple of years ago, my stepson would be like, he would make it a point to call me Chris in front of the person.

So just make it, and then to make the guy be like, oh, wait, so that's your steps on that. Well, he doesn't do that anymore. Now he's just like, okay, we're all family. Because that is still at the beginning of that. So he refers to Chris E.D. No, no, no. Now he won't do that. He used to purposely say, like if I said, these are my kids, he would say, oh, Chris, you know,

like he called you dad, though. No, he won't call me dad. But his dad, but he's got a dad. Yeah, so it's like, I would never expect that. That's the reason. Yeah. That's the reason you do it is because, like, it isn't that you want to be disrespectful to the dude. The dude is, like, there with your mom, even if you're, like, not sure about him, it's, you straight up feel like you're reping your dad.

Yeah. So you're like, no, man, you ain't my dad. That's, like, the big thing where you go, no, you ain't him. You ain't got the same last name as me. But then if you like him, eventually, you go, I'm supposed to stepdad. Yeah. Yeah. Like, but I called him Nick the whole time.

I never was like, Daddy. And when he, when him and your mom broke up, were you upset by, like, is it a, I fucking liked him. I was, like, bummed that he was leaving. But I also, like, again, it's this, like, weird loyalty thing. I don't know if every kid's like this, but you, like, feel loyalty to your mom. Right. So when my mom was divorcing Nick, I was like, well, I'm team Trish all day. Yeah.

Like, why do you think I'm here? He can't dream Nick. I can't be team, Nick, but I liked him. Yeah. So you do the thing where, like, um, it's like when you get fired from a job and then, like, a manager that you like will stop you before you hit the parking lot. Like, hey, I'm really sorry. this happened. Yeah. That's what you do with the stepdad. When they're getting divorced, where I meet

him in the garage, I go, I know you got let go. I loved the work you did here. I thought it was real good stuff. Really nice. Super management. Thank you for cutting a gate into our back fence so I could walk through the fence to go to my bus stop. Yeah. Did a lot of good work. Thanks for giving me a sip of beer. I appreciate you taking me to the San Francisco Giants games.

Thanks for taking me to the Buckingham Mall so I could get toys from KB Toys. You fucking ruled. And also why I liked Nick was he was over with my dad. My dad liked him. My dad would call and they would... Oh, your dad was still alive. Your dad did, Nick?

My dad died when I was 14. Wait a second. This guy fucking banged his friends? No, this is a different guy. Oh. No, no. He's saying that, Dan saying his biological father was alive then and actually met Nick and was Oh, yeah.

Oh, because they were divorced before your dad, Pat. Yeah. Yeah, my dad and mom got divorced after six. My mom married Nick when I was like eight and I liked him. And he was there until I was like 11 or whatever. And then I was like, dude, this guy fucking rules. Right. And then I remember my dad would call to talk to me a few times that he did.

And Nick would pick up and I'd be like excited because Nick would be like, oh, what's up, Gary? And then they would talk. And I remember that was the first time that I was like, oh, there, my parents hated each other. Right. But I was like, oh, Nick's, that was the first time I was like, oh, Nick isn't doing the thing where he's like, fuck you, motherfucker. My wife hates you. He's like, what's up, man? How you doing?

And then they would talk for like too long. Right. Where I'd be like, I want to talk to my dad. Right. You were, you, um, nobody ever graduated for stepdad status for you. Nobody ever graduated. And would you think part of that was you constantly crawling in the bed as an adult? I think, I think one impediment was me being 15 years old and still needing to sleep

in bed with my mom because I was scared of a ghost in my other room. So you just didn't want anyone in your spot. I thought in the only way that I would walk though. Yeah. The only way that I thought I'd be able to say loyalty to my, to my dad is just cock block my mom for the rest of her life. Mommy, I'm scared. And she goes, he's fucking in the room.

Yeah you guys have tissues I have fucking like How come nobody's ever got a comedy movie about kids Cockblocking the mom I think they had though What was the I mean stepbrothers is Step brothers is weird

There was the other one with Paul Rudd Role models Oh yeah Where like Ken Marino plays the stepdad And he's like getting cock blocked by the kid And he's like this fucking kid sucks Yeah I think it's a very very Even though it's so normal now

For like you know blended families It's just a very it's the heart far and away the hardest on the kid. Easily. Because you're like, what am I supposed to do now? I love my dad, so I don't want to be disloyal to him, but I also love my mom, and I know that the stepdad is being nice to my mom, so I don't want her to be upset, so what the hell do I do? How are you and his dad? Good. Yeah.

Then it's fine. As long as that's because, like, my mom's boyfriend after my stepdad was my dad's ex-best friend. Wow. He was my godfather. Interesting. And they started dating because they were talking, and they started dating again. and then there was nothing cool about anybody my fucking mom and her boyfriend hated my dad my dad hated them that was where i got that joke from that last special where i was like i'd go

between the two like a little shit talking traveling like i would go like that's what joe and my mom are saying about you yeah yeah we're gonna yes it is it's interesting because it's almost like nobody's ever set rules for how somebody becomes a stepdad when you call him stepdad how many years it has to go? What constitutes a stepdad? Like, when do you become, is it when you call them dad? Right. Is it when a kid goes dad?

Dad. I think I, there should be a stepdad ceremony. There's like, where like it's, yeah, people gather. Right. Like a wedding. I've now become a family. I've become your stepdad. Yeah, I think that for, for me, I'm never going to ever require that, but it would, it would be

nice to get a little bit of acknowledgement of how good a job I'm doing here. It would just be nice How about how I'm really holding all this together And no one's saying, thank you Yeah How about a little fucking big day for Christmas? Yeah, how about a little bit? You know what I mean?

Longbendy Twizzlers candy keeps the fun going. Keep the fun going. my stepdad never did get that. He never got the payoff. Yeah. The wedding was weird. We were at my mom's friend's house. I didn't really want to be there. I liked Nick. I told the story on the bonfire, but it's true. The closest moment I ever had with my stepdad. The gayest moment I ever had with my stepdad was my 10th birthday was, it was 93, Jurassic Park was out. Right. It was literally the summer Jurassic Park came out. I'm in a huge dino phase. He bought me for my birthday, the T-Rex with a little chunk of ribs missing and that's all I want that's all I fucking wanted and it was the last

present my mom's like Nick got you something and I opened it and I was like yes yes and I went over and I kissed them on the lips and we both had this moment of like man we did it and we're like is that a crime actually yeah yeah all right what the fuck we both I'm totally instantly we're like that what the fuck I was like sorry dude I'm all drunk on T-Rex I was like oh shit I I just picked my real dad. I don't know what's going on. Yeah, yeah.

But I laid a big old smooch on Nick, and the table got weird. Because when you're dating a mom, you're really going to, you're not only dealing with the wife and her trauma or whatever it is from a lost parent or a bad relationship. You're also swimming against the current with the kid. Yes. Because the kid's always going to put his dad first and always say, you're not my dad. No matter how bad the dad was, kids always romanticized their dad. My father was a legitimate deadbeat, and I loved him so much more than my stepdad. God, when it comes to his son and their dad, I mean, you'll just make your dad a fucking hero no matter who he is.

Hulk Hogan. Yeah. Pre-enworth. Right. The man was over. Yeah. Like, he could do no wrong. Yeah.

My dad would be like, eh. My dad would make promises and flake on him, and I'd be like, dude, I get it. Yeah. I don't even mad, and now I'm in my 40s in therapy. You're like, oh, that's the reason that I have crippling angers sometimes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it is. It was like, dude, especially when you have a deadbeat dad that's an alcoholic,

because they make promises just to get out of shit. Right. Don't make promises the way, like, young dudes will tell women they're going to fuck them all night. Right. They'll do that kind of stuff where they go, you come home with me? I'm going to fuck you all night. And girls are like, oh, that sounds great. And then they nut once.

And the guy's like, don't touch me on this. Yeah. My dad would be a drunk and he'd be like, dude, I'm going to drive out to your football game. I'm going to come to your Pop Warner game. be like, yeah? Like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna fucking, me and Jim as alcoholic roommate, we're gonna paint ourselves purple. Yeah.

And I was like, you'd be in the morning there, be like, mom, I need the right drink, got an iron, dad's coming. And then just end of the season, I go, dad. And he goes, ah. Wait, what's that? Was that month the next month? And he'd go like this, I don't think I'm gonna make it. We go, you think we're playing the Bruins on Saturday?

It's the last game of the year. And he's like, ah. Shit, is it? Oh, it's football something in the fall? Yeah. Yeah, it was like, people with deadbeat dads who are alcoholics that try to make excuses. This is what I'm talking about

with just coming forth and like, it's like getting the secret out so then it doesn't do it damage. If my dad was like, I would have been so much more well-rounded if my dad was just like, yeah, fuck you, dude, I don't like you. And I would have been like, all right,

well, I'm going to deal with that. I think he probably still would have made excuses for him anyway. I think there's something about how we romanticize our fathers. I remember when I found out my dad wasn't a starter on the high school football I was crushed. Was he telling me what? No. Oh. I just built it in my head that he was so good football and mom took him away from his. And then I saw I saw the old news clippings that he would put in. He was clipping the the football news from like the delios he played for Madison and Brooklyn and he was clipping it like one of those fucking bench losers. Yeah. Where just when it was just like

and Chris Papp has contributed just to get contributed. Just because they mentioned his name on there I was like you're a bench fucking loser But in your mind It was O.J. Simpson It's not just because he hit my mom It's not just because he had is it toners And he was threatening her with a night

Yeah In my mind he was like a football star And I remember I was crying I was really like I didn't I was like Who am I now? I'm sorry Am I now For anybody that's heard me tell the story before

I'm sorry but this is exactly the example you're talking about I used to lie for my dad Because he was so pathetic my dad was a cook in the Navy right right that's all he did he was a cook in the Navy would get drunk on the ships and watch them shoot missiles into North Bay of Vietnam literally he'd just go on the top of the ship and with a case of beer and sit there with the shirt off it's watching it like the sunset yeah and there's like all these people going like my dad's going like that got someone

pull top bugwiser yeah well we just took out that fucking hut. And so, but he was like, I kind of knew that. I always knew he was a cook in the Navy, you know what I mean, whatever. That's why. Your dad was Tim Walsh. No, my dad, uh, I lied for him. Yeah. Because when Under Siege came out, the Stephen Segal movie, I was like, yeah, it's based on my dad. I would tell everyone in fifth grade, but I gave my dad was like a chef in the Navy, but he was like, really a secret badass. Yeah. And they're like, oh yeah? He's like, yeah, is that You're talking about the same guy. Your dad was on the USS Chicago.

I just met his roommate. Jim? Yeah. Jim was the, he got caught looking under the stalls. Yeah. That guy? That's Jim.

Yeah. It was like he was a lot different. Hey, that guy was to sleep in the car in the parking. Yeah. It reminds me of a, you ever see the movie stand by me? Yeah. You remember it was Corey Feldman's character. Yeah.

With the glasses? Your dad was a loony. They go, my dad, stormed the beach at Norman. God damn it. Yeah, yeah. Looney, loony, loony. Yeah. He put your head to his stove.

Yeah, that's exactly it. The guy fucking burned his ear off and this guy's, this kid is praising him. It's going, no, my dad's a war vet. He's a war vet. He's a war vet. He's like, yeah, he's a war vet because he burnt your ear off. Yeah. Yeah, but it is.

You do want to defend your dad. You want to be like, I'm not, I don't come from the stock of a loser. Yeah, yeah. I remember I first got, like, my dad, like, the kind of, I thought he was, he would tell me, like, you know, got got drafted and a baseball player. like was drafted then he you know he was working like these really like high up firms like in accounting and and all this like I thought it was like this crazy like businessman and then I remember like I was talking to my dad on a cell phone like a like the first like no key I was like what

I was fucking 14 and I was talking to my dad and he was saying something about his job and then my mom was on the phone with one of her friends in the kitchen and I guess she was listening to what I was saying and she got a phone she's like Barbara you Tony's now telling Christopher Oh wow She goes Tony's telling Christopher That he was you know

Played for the Yankees And that he went to account She was like If he only knew And then so I was one of those things Where I was like Oh Whatever my I didn't know

I didn't ask my dad But I was like Whatever my dad's telling me Is a lie Because my mom is like Talk to her friends about it There is the kryptonite Yeah

For a lying father Angry X X X wife Because they'll let you know My mom was like Your father There's a fucking law

Just straight out. They'll talk about my dad like that. Shut up, bitch, I want to live with him. My mom would go. Go for it. I'd be like, I want to live with him. She's like, you want to live in your grandma's house? Yeah.

Or with Jim? Yeah. For the six months he's got a house. You want to live with him? That's the first, that's like the illusion busting fact. It's like, who do you live with and why? Yeah. Do you want to live with him?

Dude, when I hold that, when I was like, I want to live with dad, my mom would go, no, you know. And then you go like, oh, you mean that. It's like when a tough person, they're like, let's go outside. And he goes, buddy, you don't want to do this. Yeah. Listen to that, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I remember once me being like, I'm going to go live with my dad. I'm always like, go ahead, do it. And I remember I asked him and my dad's was like, I'd love for you to live with me, buddy, but I don't have the space. You never think it's a seven-year-old child. What do you mean you're up the space? That's what he said. And then I didn't realize he was not wrong. He was going to get my grandma's fucking office on a pull-out couch, but he didn't have the space.

But it hurts. For some reason, you saying that, it brought up the pain of him going, buddy, I just don't have the space and you go, I thought we're a best friend. Yeah, dude. Best friends don't. Look at how little I am, man. We can hide anywhere. I'll sleep under the bed.

I actually think that's kind of cool right now at my age. Yeah. I think whatever we can do for the to analyze and improve male insecurity will be good for the world. 100%. Because male insecurities is the thing that wreaks the most havoc. Every problem we have right now is male insecurity. Wealth hoarding. Yeah.

War starting. Yeah. Lying. Bitcoin. male insecurity. Oh, you need a fake computer coin because the money coin don't do it for you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not to bring this full circle, but if hair tits can help that. I mean, if hair tips, which I think they can. A little more confidence to an insell or just a normal person, God bless.

But also let's legalize sex work so that some of these insoles can pop a nut. Absolutely. And they don't have to go online and fucking make people want to kill themselves. Absolutely. Yeah.

Anytime you see any guy just, you know, act in a fool you're going like tell me about your dad it's a hundred percent I want to know about your dad no one from a secure place does any where they just go unless you're just an absolute

socio or psychopath which is very few people very very few people a lot of people like to claim it because it's easier to claim being a psychopath than being insecure and you know it's easier to go I'm a psycho instead of going I realize it's the psychopaths

and the sociopaths are never really the problem it's the people they seduce that are the problems. It's the people that do the working. I don't know if you ever had somebody. Because there's so few of them. If you've ever had somebody that's mentally been broken before,

you'll notice the person that's closest to them will like, they're like that lady that, like a press secretary for the White House. They go up there, they're doing fine. It's stressed out at work right now. And you go, they're crazy. I can see it in their eyes. Right, yeah.

But it is. That's all it is. It's all like no one, like insecurity makes people close to you lie to cover it, which makes it worse. Instead of you just going, I don't know, man, I'm insecure. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, if you just be honest with it. But that's, I'm telling you, dude, hair tits. Hair tits. You're right. Hair tits, cavin plants. Whatever it takes. Fucking, let's go.

I'm going to come in with like one of those fucking faces and you're like, guys, I did it too. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, whatever it takes. Ozempic, facelift. That's another thing that's cured. Balness is cured and also obesity.

There's no reason for our generation people alive right now to be obese. You don't have to be obese. You're not thinking about the long-term effects of Ozempic. We're going to lose a whole. whole generation of funny people when all the fat kids are gone. Yeah, that's true. Because where is those personality is going to be created and hardened and fire?

Yeah. You need insecure people to become funny. Right. Because it's a defense mechanism. Three of us are funny because... Now you're throwing a wrench in the whole fucking premise. No, but I'm, but it is, there is benefits. It's kind of like, you know, sometimes there's bad stuff, but good stuff comes out of it. Well, truly funny people have alchemized their insecurity and turned it into something that benefits others. Yes.

Which is... Right. So, if you're not, funny what can you do i think like i don't know if you're just like in alchemize your insecurity just try to work on your workout i don't know fucking yeah just go to therapy yeah go to therapy is big i think part of it i think a good good a good start would be for people who have those problems who are like angry or bitter or yeah it's like if everyone starts to understand that that is a projection of something else then that then people will be like we'll have more awareness of their on shit. Because the problem is people buy that shit. They don't go, I mean,

what's going on in your childhood that's making you act like a fucking retard? Can I tell you an insecurity thing of mine that I realized that was like crazy? Yeah. I had a thing with like really famous comics that we all like love and shit for some reason in my, like they were all like Louis,

Chappelle, Burr. They were all like loving my friends. You know? Like Louis was like, Joe List, you're the best. And then Chappelle would be like, I love Michelle Wolf. I think she's the greatest of old hands. And then, like, Louis would be like, Shane. And they would all, it felt like all my heroes were, like, picking people, everyone around me. But me and I was like, I started to get really insecure about it.

And I'm like, what the fuck? Why don't they like me? I'm, like, good at comedy or whatever. And then in therapy, they were like, he was like, oh, it's just, this is for your dad. Yeah. You just want your dad's acknowledgement. And the second I realized that, I don't give a shit about Louis or Chris Rock or fucking Chappelle anymore.

Yeah. And I'm like, yeah, they're more of a headache. Yeah. Like, now I've got to deal with them going up or their fucking headache. It instantly washed away in a way That is a fucking That was like therapy doesn't always work like that It takes years to fucking have breakthroughs

But sometimes you have a breakthrough It immediately clears up where you go like It's like taking an antibiotic And you go oh fuck that rash is gone And it was Because I was so consumed with people I idolized or looked up to Being nice to me

And then in therapy it was like Well your dad died when you were 14 You never got the opportunity to see that he was just a loser And you would have let go of that Like most men grow up And see their fathers as people So you go, oh, he's just a dude He's got good, he's got bad

But he's a dude When your dad dies when you're a kid It's like Superman died Can you pull Carl Young quote About the extent people will go to To avoid their own souls I mean yeah And that's what makes a lot

Of the human comedy Which is funny Because we're basically just watching Everyone just fucking like Try to run They are What it is? They go

I'm like that I'm like I'm like You know I mean the first 15 minutes I was going I don't know Black hell and now I'm going to come home

and Katie's going to go Shit Joe bitch ass up Let's just take a moment For the fans Carl Jong extend humans With 2 A's go to hide Yeah That's how Jesse Googled

What I asked him to Google Carl Jong He sounds like someone Dan's dad killed In Vietnam I think he launched it into the Bay of John Because Whatever I ask for Google

It's almost like You go for the thing that won't bring it up. I go quick, I go to, I'm not even looking. Yeah. Yeah, he's just typing and laughing. Carl Jog, extended humans go to hide. You know what, this is like when your, when your mic gets left on in your pocket, like you hit auto thing and you go, oh, that's right.

That's what I thought I said. Carl Junk go to hide? You're, Carl Jog, extent, humans go to hide. And I like the two A's. Yeah, yeah, yeah, believe that. It's such a great quote. The person as a sheet, the persona as a shield.

Jesse's like not even getting close. It's not even close. What do you want me to? Well, Carl Jung is the, uh, Harold. It's a high to repress certain aspects of their personality. To avoid their souls. Just go,

Carl Jung, avoid their souls. This is a good, we'll end the episode like this. Uh, their souls, yeah. I think I got it.

Yeah. People will do anything no matter how absurd in order to avoid facing their own soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. Exactly. Right. I love that shit. It's the best.

It sums up humanity. It's when you start realizing that all the calls are coming from inside the house. It's all internal. You just go like, oh, I just got to clean it up. You just get clean up inside. Like, I didn't realize the concept. I know we got to end the podcast, but it's like a thing that I've really. Yeah, because fucking Joe DeRos is waiting, right?

Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. He's just, yeah, looking, he's pointing on his watch. It's like he's got, 15 minutes. You have no rights. You have no rights. You're Ethiopian. You're 10% Ethiopian. You've got no rights.

Hey, we're trying to... 12 o'clock. It's fucking 12.20. What are we doing? We're finishing right now. Oh, this is the stern shot? Yeah. We're going over. We're going over because we got a fucking funny comicer. You're not the only funny comic in the fucking world. There's another funny comic.

I had to eat my oatmeal. We were late. I'm Greek. We're late. It's like your parents were. Of course, De Rosa ruined such a great moment. He does. It's just what he does. I was just going to say, dude, just don't be fucking inske.

Oh, being mean to yourself. Yeah. I didn't know that was a concept. Oh, yeah. I told my 40s. Yeah. It took an ex-girlfriend and my current fiancee to go, stop being mean to yourself. Yeah.

And you go, what? Yeah. I'm not being mean to me. Dude, yesterday. Yesterday was like something so subtle, friend of mine, very, like, enlightened, like, good dude. He was saying that he goes, like, the grounding, you know, you take your shoes and socks off and, like, going, like, a field or whatever. He lives, they live, like, in a night.

part of Brooklyn bedside but it's still like you know they he says he goes and grounds himself in the park like right up street from his house and I was like so you go no shoes no socks on you know growing up how I grew up I was like wouldn't you be worried about like stepping on like shards of glass or like a needle and he literally just very comfortably was like oh I don't live my life that way I don't worry about that if I stepped in glass I would deal with it then but I would I have no concept of that right so I go I won't leave the house because I'll think about the needle in the poe in the fucking park. Yeah.

I'm like walking my dog. If you ever see me in the city walking my dog, I'm having a fight with someone in my head. Right. I'm going like this, oh yeah, you fucking fucking like picking up her shit. I go,

yeah, that's why you fucking suck. I'm like, I come home like ready to fight Katie and he's like, what's going on? I'm like, oh, my brain is turning out. Yeah, yeah.

Like when you fist fight people in the shower or you go crazy. That's what it is. We're like, oh yeah, fuck you. It's like 2006 in your head. And you go, I remember that guy at Outback

was fucking rude to me. Yeah. Well, as I found in my journeys, my mental journeys, anger, anger is a protector emotion. What's underneath it? Fear. Right here. It's a protector emotion. It's the jelly on the inside.

It's the jelly on the inside. Dan Soder, thank you for coming on the history hyenas. I love you guys. You're going on a big tour. The Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour starts September 23rd or 24th in Los Angeles at the United Theater. Dan Soder.com. All the date.

We got the West Coast dates listed, some East Coast. But the first half of the tour is announced, Dan Soder.com, please buy tickets. I love this hour. I think you'll enjoy yourself. I love the hyenas. I'm glad you guys are back. I love you too, baby.

Happy you back. All right, folks, as always, you know, we end every episode going to patreon.com slash history hyenas. The best way to join the matriarchy and be a part of everything we have. We read the funniest names out and the winner will, you know,

be the PPPW, the pseudo penis of the week. Which means your name's up in lights. It's a big deal. It's like being on the Wikipedia of podcasts. It's like you made the Hall of Fame. It's great. And we also have tons of bonus content there where we go off the rails.

And if you want to crash your car laughing, go to patreon.com slash history hyenas. And Joe DeRosa has no butt. I'm sitting in the seat. He was just sitting in. And it's stiffer. It's stiffer. Yeah, Joe doesn't have a butt or shoulders. Mateo Marino.

Welcome. Kevin. Then we got dip my egg roll and duck sauce. Now I have. Walked into one. But very funny. Very funny, but it's racial and we can't. We don't like that.

Then we got what's banging out a toot when they crucified, my lord. Old school, fall back. Yeah, where are you there? A man who probably just came back, welcome back. Welcome back. Then we got tuck back, squeak in lapioing catapult engaged. I feel like we had that one. That was last week.

That was last episode. I remember that one. Okay, but these are different names. Okay, maybe he tried again. Try it again. Yeah. I think he, oh, because he got mad that we, he was the victim of a bad read.

So he probably tried again. But it's a good one. It's a good one. It's a good one. It's a good one. It's a good one. It's a director for trying twice. Adam Smith.

Great. Just a regular guy who is into the free market. Yeah, I was going to say, like great economists coming back from the dead listening to the pod. Then we got Vote Mamiani, bringing two eyes together as one. Put them on the list. On the list. That's a catapult.

It's possibly a contender. Yeah. Then we got Jay. Then we got Tampa Tony's Twink. I like it. So the guys just say my dad's got twinks. Yeah. Okay.

We're going to, yeah, it's almost. Then we got my Fumar as Fubar. Adam Cassidy. Jackie Onassis and Tits got brain on secuter film. Okay. It's just deep, deep cut. And it's just, yeah. Then we got the law offices of Frisbee and Frisbee.

Put them on the lid. Yeah, on the list. That's basically everyone's lawyer. Yeah, it's just what it is. We got a chicken finger contender right there. Yeah, it's just what it is. There's nothing like a good, sweet short one. nice, like Suzuki, Ichero,

just a nice bang hit. Just a fucking single. Yeah. This is the story of a girl who fumed a river and drenched the whole world. Steve's the story of a girl, but fumed a river and drenched the whole world. That's a list. You've got to put that on the list for the inventiveness.

And you got Will, drizzly soup, Steve. Okay. That is not okay. That is not okay. It's not okay. Sidney's Sweetie's jeans. Brady Waitling. Then we got screwed in toot who eats glue in a suit. He's just a professional guy that eats a little glue.

He gets his gay sexuality. At work. At work. His wife and family has done it's not hurting them. That's a Drexler. Charles Gabriel. Then we got Chrissy D. A.K.A. Mr. McLue keeps walking into one.

Okay. That's true. That is a true statement. Then we got Kid Out of Bay Ridge with an inch from the stitch. It's just a little smidge on my ridge. It's what it is. I don't get it. Yeah.

Okay. But he's from the ridge. So we give him a Drexler just from being from fucking our place. Oh, I see. Kid Out of Bay Ridge with an itch from the Sitch. It's just a little smidge on my ridge from the Sitch. Situation? Yes, I got the thing he has a situation.

He's got a situation. Right. Okay. We'll give him a Drexler from here for the Ridge. Tim, Spencer Jordan. Then we got Jag Deep Karada, Uncle Russell's Leroy. It's just what it is. We can't list it, right?

Can't list it. No, it's disparaging. We can't do that. But it's funny. Then we got the Muad de Beb, dead stretch. That's what you call, what is it, Mubb de Beb? Mouad dib, the Mouad dib. That's what you call Airport Scrutiny.

It's Airport Scrutiny. Airport scrutiny award. Then we got Captain Epstein of the Itty Biddy Frisbee Committee. That's so good. Yeah, that's so good. I'm listed it. I'm listed it. And make the call.

That one has moved into first place. Yep. Then we got John Dallas liver enzymes. Milkman. Aetian mutterbjeeb found out Muzzy Kanzi was a bear, so they threw him off the roof. The bear in the community of gays, so they threw him off the roof. It's just what it is. It's what it is.

Not okay. It's walked into one, but it's true. I'm going to Drexler. Okay. Then we got three finger twisting Michelle's balls. Just Michelle's balls might have been it. Yeah. Michelle's, it's the, it's Drexler

Drexler, okay, Alex on Tevados, then we got Meta Lady Boy and told her, don't tuck it, I want to lick Thai sweet chili off your chicken meat. Way song she ain't. They got to put it on the list, right? You got it.

Yeah. He got it. don't talk it no no baby don't tuck it yeah yeah okay so then we got had a late night muzzy scuffle ate her ass like it's falafel okay that's the definition of a drexler that's a yeah yeah Kanye's former shirt designer looking for work funny uh we're gonna Drexler it case uh oh god that was funny okay see this one I can't I can't even say so this one just So you didn't walk in it when you got, you caught this one. I caught this one, so I can't even say it.

Well, say it'll bleep it up. Well, I'll say it'll be, but it's it. Now I'm getting co-coed by a hung black. Can't say it. You know, but that one is more of a fact. Right. His grandfather used to do that. He doesn't do that.

And now he's getting, and now he's, this girl is getting cracked open by a black man with a large penis. Because that's a girl. That's what she's saying. She's getting cracked open unless he's a gay man. Right. I don't even think it's that bad. All right. Blip it.

Yeah. Yeah. It's walked into one, though. Then we got Janice's seafood toothpicks. Then we got Epstein's alive and on the beam with some Catholic roommates. That's somebody who at some point heard me say I use fish bones to pick my teeth. I mean, when is that from years ago? I don't know, but sometimes it's scary how they fucking know us.

Then we got LG. Then we got my tiny dick as a character piece. Mike Hinkle, Shane Berry, Jordan, Adam, non-dairy Latina Titty Milk. Sammy Cycles, straight to the cat. Travis Zand kicked off the diving team because I'm a... You got caught. You got caught.

Yeah, you got caught. Yeah, sorry about that. They get creative. Yeah, yeah. Sorry about that. And let me just say, I like Sammy Cycles. Sammy Cycles. He's just openly on stairwell.

Yeah, I just like Sammy Cycles. Yeah. Then we got Ben Stodden. Cause, if you ever break up, maybe your wife would meet a guy named Sammy Cycles. And they can help to my kids. They can ride off nowhere together. Yeah, it's just one is.

Because they're on the cycle. They're on the cycles. It doesn't go anywhere, but it's still, they're still cycling. They're going as fast as they can. Yeah. Then we got Ben Stodden, the legal horse porn company. Jack Ruby, girthquake, Reno Torres, Charlie Tong, mine fumer. We've had that.

Yep. Cody Herring, Jeremy Howard, pink vuchina, John Slater. I want to tuck it back, but my squeak piece won't reach. Alex Barclay, glue shots from the logo, call me Caitlin Clark. I like that Drexler Money shit Andrew

Chicken figure Money shit Just a good funny shit Andrew Cuomo's Tid Handshake which we've had Aaron

Jose Menendez was a hell of a balls player I feel like we've had that Wait so this is getting confusing

because we've had these Maybe some of them got mixed up Yeah They could have gotten mixed up Most of them sound new But Yeah

Titty Handshake got on the list Maybe they upgraded their membership Sometimes that happens They can put them into the new list George Washington's George Washington's pepperoni in my asshole Okay

Okay John Dunn Bubba Flubba Brian M Bring back Aunt Jemima's pussy juice I don't know I don't know if it was ever here Okay What are we bringing back Barry $3 Bill McCock in him

Mike cock at him Yeah if I like that funny George Floyd Mayweather Very funny Matthew looking for a glue From a few me Jew Pee Poo Pooh Pato Potazzo

Latif 14 Yeah Good, good. Jack Kaufman, Polock, Pole Polisher. My cousin married a muzzie, and now she can't stop Ulu-Lading? Ulu-Lating? I don't get it. I don't know.

Okay. Dr. Biden Explodie Monkey. Jipson F. Longdong, Latina Colonizer, K. Wilson, Snow Monkey with Leroy Gluorne with Leroy Glue in my Buttonwood. Cousin Nikki, Travis Gray, Leroy Frisbee from the Bible, oven made me. I've been wait Leroy Frisbee from the Bible Oven made me

No one got one right there Yeah Braden Bickle Casey Anthony's social media manager Put her on the list Just put him on the list Yep Is she on social now

She's back on socials Then we got Vincenzo Leroy Destroyer Puglisi Sauce Smokey Award Yeah Grouchy Gooch Oh wait a second

That's a walked-in one Yeah Leroy Destroyer You can't say that You can't say you're a Leroyd Destroyer with an Italian name. Yeah. Grouchy Gooch, Rachel. Sean Combs My Hair.

It's not that serious. Okay. Laura Hockley. Big Dick Dave, UCF Class of 2009. I like it. Matt and the Poconos. Victor Van Gogh. He's got a Puerto Rican flag.

Got nicked by getting tricked into tummy sticks. Good one. Homie Schmucher. T.T. Jerry's Fuzzy Wuzzy Hummus Cannon. Tom Gibbs, Dragdon Master, Kanan Santiago, Kyle Klein, Pointer and Pine, Dustin Olson, Colin V, Chrissy D's right pectoral, Chrissy's pelvic floor therapist. Let me just do one more, and then this list is over. Perks, Thomas Headland, Peter Felterbush from Edak, Dickenberg, Go Stillers, Dylan, Mike Sweeney, Foley's Weird-L-L-Look-L-O-Bradoff-Pitler, Doug Whitaker, Logan.

Right off Hitler, they got you. Bradoff Hitler. Yeah. Bradolph Pitler. Brad off Pitler. Okay. All right. Tile Peterson, I recoil when my girl touches me because I didn't lose my V till I was 23.

Kids, yeah, okay. Yeah, so he's just trying to get in it. He's just trying to, what he's doing is you're trying to walk around with a rationalization that you like guys. It's just what it is. If you're recoiling from your girl touching you, it means you want a man, you want a man's touch. Kyle, Jim Smith, Rebecca Irene, straight gay magnet, Travis Dupree, morphed into a laser beam when ice was in town. Drexler Peter Monswillow

2 plus flute equals tingle in my poop shoot Daniel Garrett Owen Gansy Francisco Rehoss Brandon G Robert Bejack Clay Campbell Tuna Taint Tales Dopey Joe

Hayden True Lazy Leroy A.K. The Certified Welfare Warrior Okay Walk in a Wood Dylan Rogers Maddie Bow Batty San Diego Fatti

Camillo Valley natural born turd Ballzac Harry Chris Coon dinky Donalds Colby P Drew Monaghan Addison Portelli Griffin O'Brien Tybanger

27 Marvin Lepara Alex Warnicki Sean Beer Papa Bear Ted Cruz disaster Relief Airline Fumed himself That's a good one because he's always

taking a trip while there's a disaster in Texas So you get a Drexon Get a smart kid Dustin Elliott Jeff Daswizak Noah Williams, Megan Ellis, Alex Pollard, Antonio, Tim Keaton. Then we got A Beautiful Day to Toss a Frisbee and...

But very good. Shit. That's very good, too. But it's not good. But it's not okay. But I have to give you the Walked Into One Award. Then we got last but not least Tucker Kurtalson stomping on Tel Aviv Ted Frisbees. Tel Aviv Ted's Frisbees.

Yeah. Oh, that's Ted. So this list must have been when that Interested. I thought we were caught up, though. But anyway, we got some good ones. And also, shout out to the walk to the back, straight to the backs. Shout out to you guys as well. I hope you enjoyed everything your name read.

You know, you're straight to the back, you're here for the content and we respect that. You have a job. Not everyone's got to play the game. That's what it is. Okay, so here we go. So we got Casey Anthony's social media manager. We're keeping that around. Keeping there around.

Okay, let me circle her. Then we got, um, uh, met a lady boy and told her don't tuck it. I want to lick Thai sweet chili or if a chicken meat. We're keeping that. Okay. So they are still there. Captain Epstein of the itty-bitty frisbee committee. God, that we're keeping that.

We're going to keep it. Fuck. Great. This is the story of a girl who fumed a river and drenched the whole world. We're going to directs for that. Okay. It's a good rhyme scheme. Very funny, but any other day.

The law officers of Frisbee and Frisbee? We've got to keep that. I love that you could just go, like, you know, I don't know who my law is. It's the law firm of Frisbee and Frisbee. Yeah. Then we got Vote Momiani, Yani, bringing two eyes together as one. We're going to Drex for that. Corrects for that.

Very good, though. So it is between Casey Anthony's social media manager, the law offices of Frisbee and Frisbee, Captain Epstein of the Itty Biddy Frisbee committee or Meta Lady Boy and told her, don't tuck it. I want to lick Thai sweet chili or for chicken meat. Definitely the funniest one there. You know, surprisingly, this is one of the tougher ones we've ever had because these are four strongies. So just read them again because I think I know where I'm going.

Casey Anthony's social media manager? I'm going to address to that. What do you guys think? Yep. That's a Drexler. Drexler. Captain Epstein of the Itty Bitty Frisbee committee? I'm keeping that one.

Okay. Yeah. The law offices of Frisbee and Frisbee? I'm going to just let everyone know to remember that one because it's hilarious, but I'm going to, I'm going to Drexler. Drexler that, okay. And then met a lady boy and told her, don't tuck it. I want to lick Thai sweet chili or for chicken meat. So that is, we always do this right.

I really, I'm proud of myself here. Right. And I'm proud of you guys. Yeah. I'm proud of you guys. I'm proud of myself, and I'm proud of the people who send their names, because I feel like we get this right. Right. Because those are two bangers, and those are the two best bangers, and it's a toss-up, and there's no way this one doesn't go to a vote, because I want them both to win.

So for me, I like... Well, Jesse, you go. We always go with you first. Okay, so you Drexlered my pick, which was the law offices of Frisbee and Frisbee. Yeah. But I am going to tie meat. Chicken meat is the funniest. But you feel like we got a lot of gay ones, though.

I do, but it's the funniest. It's the funniest. It's the most descriptive. It's long. It's beautiful. It was work put into it. I do a chicken. But referring to the Epstein thing as the itty-bitty frisbee committee is good.

It's good. But I honestly, if you would have kept in law officers of Frisbee and Frisbee, I would have picked that. You would have picked that one? But since that's out, I'm also going with chicken. So wait, did I make a mistake? I don't think you made a mistake, but I'm just saying, but I don't think you made a mistake picking the winner. Right. I don't think you made a mistake picking the winner.

Okay. So you're between those two, but would you go, but you would go with Frisbee and Frisbee if this one was here. It's like the playoffs, the NBA playoffs, like the NBA playoffs, like, The Knicks should have played the Thunder and the Thunder should have won. Right. The Knicks should have been there. I got you. So the chicken meat chili is thunder.

I'm Adam Silver and I threw the whole thing for rating. It's just what it is. Yeah. So the winner, congratulations. Met a lady boy and told her, don't tuck it. I want to lick Thai sweet chili or chicken meat. Go see your name up in lights at History Hyenas is back.com. And let me just say this pun intended, winner, winner chicken dinner.