History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas - White Slaves of Ottoman Empire: The Barbary Wars | History Hyenas

Episode Date: July 17, 2025

Did you know that millions of white Europeans were enslaved by Muslim powers? That slavery was a major driver of their economy? Ever heard of the Barbary Wars? Chrissie and Yannis are here to give you a history lesson you’ll never forget about America’s first foreign wars and the creation of the U.S. Navy, all sparked by the fight against slavery and the Muslim pirates who ruled the seas for centuries, terrorizing and extorting everyone in their path! Wild! Support our sponsors: Life insurance is never cheaper than it is today. Get the right life insurance for YOU, for LESS, and save more than fifty percent at https://selectquote.com/hyenas Go to https://GetSoul.com and use the code HISTORYHYENAS. For a limited time get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life. Go to https://Hungryroot.com/HYENAS and use code HYENAS. #comedy #Podcast #History Join our Patreon at 👇 https://www.patreon.com/historyhyenas/ Subscribe to the poddy woddy Our YouTube!: https://bit.ly/2ARdDOz HH Clips:https://bit.ly/2YaK2Z8 iTunes: https://apple.co/2UQTHCc Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fxtsc0 Hyenas Merch!!! https://teespring.com/stores/historyhyenas Follow us Cuz! 🙆🏻‍♂️ Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ 🙆🏼‍♂️ Chris Distefano Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/chrisdcomedy Website - https://www.chrisdcomedy.com/ 🐕More Hyenas Website: www.historyhyenasisback.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/historyhyenas/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HistoryHyenas Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/historyhyenaspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No Frills delivers. Get groceries delivered to your door from No Frills with PC Express. Shop online and get $15 in PC Optimum Points on your first five orders. Shop now at nofrills.ca. Guys, we got an excellent episode for you right now. It is about the Barbary Pirates, the First Barbary War, the birth of the U.S. Navy, and all the white slaves you've never heard of. Oh yeah, millions of them baby. If you if you want whites to be enslaved this is for you. It'll be cathartic. Come see me live, Yanis Papas comedy.com, Providence, Tampa, Chicago, Miami, wherever else I'm gonna be. Go to see my dates, historyhyenasisback.com. That.com that's it baby me Christy comedy.com or history is back.com you could see me Montreal you could see me Minneapolis I'm gonna be in Canada Winnipeg and we

got a bunch of beautiful dates in August Oklahoma and then September 11th theater at Madison Square Garden be there this episode is gonna knock your socks off buckle up What's up everybody? Welcome to another episode of History of the Hyenas. It's Christy D and Yanni P. We have got a great episode for you and here's why. If you are someone who you like, I can't stand those two guys. They are sexist, they are racist, they do not make me laugh. Well then this is the episode for you because we're gonna talk to you about a little time in history, late 1700s, early 1800s,

where there were white slaves. A lot of them, millions. And they were enslaved by the poor Muslims. The Muslims, enslaving white people. We're going to take you back to the beginning of the US Navy to the shores of Tripoli, AKA modern day Libya. We're going to talk to you about Barbary, the Barbary coast, pirates, and when the Ottoman Empire was just doing their thing that they're most famous for, and that's the jihad.

Yeah, there was no Johnny Depp cute pirates. This was not cute. No, no, this was not cute. This was not the pirates of the Caribbean. These were the pirates of all off. Bob is, now you, here's the thing about you. Here's the thing with you, Yanni. We've been together. We've been sitting here for two hours.

And I've seen you. I've seen you. You've gotten a tingle twice today. The first tingle, I can't say even on Patreon. Why, you got a tingle. But just know it has to do with feet. You got a tingle. So we saw one tingle off camera.

But then we got to see a nice little tingle on camera because you said, you said, I got a lot of pleasure out of doing the research for today because you do not like the Ottoman Empire. I am not a fan of the Ottoman Empire. You don't like them. Yeah. For obvious reasons, I have to admit they were very successful. Yeah.

They did and contributed a few things, not really, but a little bit. I mean, everyone just benefited from the Greeks. We started it all, but they had a nice run. And they were naughty! They were! They were naughty! They were a little naughty. So, I don't make the rules, I just play by them. That's what it is. You don't have to deal with karma because God is an Indian kid and karma is a real thing. That's what it is. And karma is a Taylor Swift song. It's a Taylor Swift song. Karma is a bitch. It's a bitch. And you know what it is. But in this case, karma is a thing called, whoops, things are bad now because you did a lot of slavery.

So here's the thing. First of all, here's a little fun fact and I'm going to ask this question and give you a moment to answer. Who has the longest standing peace treaty with the United States of America? Would it be the Chinese? No, it actually rhymes with my caco. Oh my God, is it Morocco? It's Morocco. Yeah.

That's who has the longest standing peace treaty with the United States. And that's a truth baiter Ginsburg and something that was interesting because what happened was is we're going to take you back to, we're going to start in, we'll start a little backwards. We'll start around roughly the 19th century where the US Navy comes into existence because we're going to take you back to the Barbary coast. Now who were the bar, what was the Barbary coast? They were fucking barbarians who were doing naughty shit. It's what it is. They were barbarians on the sea They were barbarians in the sea and they were barbarian seas and they were enslaved

If you leave if you listen to the $25 episode we have a patreon.com says history I mean as you'll know that what we mean when we say they were they were barbarian seat Yeah, make sure you tackle what I said Yeah, and that's only available at patreon.com says history I enus at the $25 level because at the $25 level what we are doing there for $25 is doing the show that we used To do for free five years ago So let me set the setting here. Okay, I'll set it up Ottoman Empire, right? Long reign a big part of their empire was slavery.

Yeah. Forced conversions, slavery. The history books always just go, oh, I don't know what happened. I don't know, Albania is just a Muslim country now. I don't know how that happened. Oh, by the way, I met an Albanian kid a week ago at the community pool in the new neighborhood I moved into. Yeah. And the Albanian said that he was a big fan and he liked our show, but he said, exact quote, he goes, tell your Greek friend that not all the Albanian said that he was a big fan He liked our show, but he said exact quote he goes tell you Greek friend They're not all the Albanians are Muslims. That is true

That's who he just wanted to make sure that you knew that cuz and he said cuz he said make sure he knows that Cuz Albanians are crazy and then his eye twitch. Yeah, that is true. Yeah, we also we admitted that when we did the caras Carascaki's yeah, cuz it was some Albanian who were Christian who were also working with the yeah Talk to my dick. Yeah, they're not all Albanian who were Christian who were also working with the Grimms and blah blah blah blah blah. Who talked to my dick. Yeah, they're not all. But a good amount. They got a good amount. So you tell him that, because I'm not doing it. Well, he already knows that. They got a good amount. There's a good amount. But yeah, wherever the conversions happen, I don't think they just went over there and asked nicely.

No. I don't think it was asked nicely. And if you read history, it's not really a nice ask It's more of like hey, this is how it works now. Yeah, and you're Christian. We don't like that Yeah, I want you to be Muslim and that's what it's gonna be. You're gonna be muzzy now Yeah, it's just yeah, so the muzzy's just said this is a muzzy world and it was a muzzy world It's just what it is. It's like don't get me wrong comes with some amenity comes with some amenity I'm not knocking the whole thing. I like some of the amenity. Yes, nice. But, so the Ottomans would constantly take slaves. They took a lot of slaves from Circassia, which is an area, like I don't know, they're like, the Russians hated them, but they're also Russian, like I don't know who they are. Just one of

those places, yeah. Just one of these peoples. But they liked them because they were good looking. So they would take a lot of the places, yeah. Just one of these people. Yeah. But they liked them because they were good looking. So they would take a lot of the women there and they would sell them in slave markets in, I'm just gonna say Constantinople. Right. It's now called Istanbul. And a lot of the Muslims and Arabs would take them

as concubines into their heritages. Like currency. It was sex slavery is what it was. It was sex slavery. I'd like to enslave the entire city ofons. It's like currency. It was sex slavery is what it was. What it was. It was sex slavery. I'd like to enslave the entire city of Miami. Yeah, me too. Just come hotties down there.

And you know what I like? This is what we tell you on this podcast. It really was a buffet for the table back then. It was. Because much like the Greeks, the Romans, everybody, the Ottomans also took women, eunuchs. And they liked the Africans for eunuchs and they liked the they liked the Africans for eunuchs. Right. They would cut the nuts out of the Africans

for some reason. That's very interesting. Yeah. I wonder because the penis is so big you don't even need the nuts. You don't even need the nuts. That's what it is. So they were so that's kind of what they did and yeah I mean that's that. So the Ottoman Empire which here's the thing here's here's what you know we've talked about this like we have you have to like break free of what, like the United States wasn't always number one, Britain wasn't always number one. These countries were number one for a long time, but at this moment in time, the Ottoman Empire and the countries right now, the Barbary Coast of what is now modern day Algiers, Tunis,

Tripoli, which is modern day Libya and Rabat, these were the primary Muslim North African countries, Ottoman subjects that had a lot, a lot, a lot of power. So they weren't like number one, but you know how like you wouldn't think of Libya as a power today? Back then they were. If you had to pay money to get your ship, it was like paying a toll. It was like if you don't pay the toll on the easy pass and the verazano, you're going to get a ticket. This is what it was at them, except the ticket back then was cutting your head off and then making you convert to Islam. So I'd rather just pay the 17 bones to go across the Varizano.

It was brutal slavery. They captured you. They took you for ransom. They were pirates. Their primary economy in these places, which were kind of semi-autonomous, but they were under- Yanni's Sundowns. Yeah, they were under Ottoman protection in those areas,

was piracy. That's what they made their money. And they would just extort everybody. They would take slaves. They would sell sex slaves. They would take males for brutal galley slavery, which they would chain them to this. They would force them to row. And so it was tons of different types of slavery.

And that's the thing. And this group very specifically the North African Barbary Coast which you're gonna do the whole episode on these Barbary pirates is they were made up of Berbers also known as Justin Berbers Arabs Ottoman Turks and then renegade Europeans and these were Christian converts to Islam. Yes So will you ever be called a renegade European? But in actuality you just got skull-fucked into Islam Yeah, or as I like to call you, a traitor. Yeah. Yeah.

Way so shame. You know, one thing, take my body, you're not taking my soul. No way. Yeah. So. My soul ain't eating hummus. Yeah. So the Ottoman Empire was a long time.

We're talking about like 1299 to 1922. So that's what is mind-blowing to me, is like we talk about these empires that are now in these modern times kind of only, you know, they're in antiquity, nobody thinks about them, but if you were alive for 600 years, it's like right now if you're alive,

you know, you live in America, and then 500 years ago people were like, remember when America was a thing? Exactly. Like that's how wild it is. It's crazy to think, we haven't even been around that long. No, nobody ever is. And during that whole time they used slavery across religious, ethnic, and geographic lines. It was a big part of their empire, but it was illegal to enslave another Muslim.

So obviously they loved enslaving Christians, and this was their era where they had the upper hand, and they took people from Asia, Africa, Europe for domestic labor, sexual slavery in their harems, agriculture and urban labor, and military and administrative services. It was a whole system they had. They raided the Balkans, Greece, Serbia, Bulgaria, Albania, Bosnians, everyone were frequent targets of Ottoman reigns, wars, forced tribute, entire Christian villages were sometimes enslaved for after rebellions

or during military campaigns. In fact, there is many instances where they raided these vulnerable, like, coastal towns in Europe, like, all the way up to Iceland, and they wiped out the entire town. So they killed or took as slaves the entire town. Everyone got on a ship. Got on a ship. And it wasn't a nice sale. Now, you weren't on the Royal Caribbean. You weren't not on the Royal Caribbean,

you were on the poop cruise. Yeah, that, yeah. So, because here's another thing too, is what you said too, paying tribute. So what Yannis means is, it was not, this was not like a group of thugs in, I mean it was technically, but I'm saying, this was state sponsored, so these North African countries,

the Barbary Coast got together, a humongous part of their economy was these tributes, which was just them saying, for you to come in here, you have to give us money. If you don't give us money, we're going to ride alongside your ship and we're going to take you in and we're going to either kill you, make you become part of our empire, or just hold you as ransom. And then the numbers are going to go up.

So this wasn't just a group of, you know, like right now you say Somalian pirates, but that's not the nation of Somalia. In these days, it was the nation. It was the nation of Libya and Algiers and Morocco. It was their nation's economy to say, we are pirates. That's what we do. Like how Gloucester, Massachusetts got fishermen, Algiers got pirates. Yeah.

Ethiopians got long distance runners. Yeah. And the North African coast got pirates. They're just good at it. They were doing it a long time. Long time. And these countries, by the way, especially a country like England, they willingly paid these tributes.

It actually made sense for England because if England wanted to knock out the other superpowers, they want to knock out their competitors, what they would do is actually go to the barbary coast say will give you guys more money yeah will give you more money so to piss off france and spain and all these other nations and then they would say we can keep giving you more more money so you kind of wall you

know you let our ships go in all day and if france doesn't want to pay steal their stuff yeah because if you can cripple their economy that be great for us for us. Yeah, the Ottoman Empire was the empire before us, America. We had chattel slavery. They had slavery just the same. And they did it. We had slavery on land. They had it on the sea.

They had it on the sea, but they also had it on land. But they had sea slaves. They had sea slaves for sure. Yeah. They had a whole system called the Dev Shermie system, which was translated to a blood tax that was instituted around the 14th century. So they had it for a long time where Christian boys ages 8 to 18 were forcibly taken for them families in the Balkans.

And I would imagine that the boys who were taken were 8 to 18 years old. I imagine they were all pretty hot. They were pretty hot. I don't think they took any fat ugly ones. No, I don't think they did. Because we're talking about Christian slavery, so we're talking about boys and boys. Yeah, they enslaved Christians, they turned them into Janissaries,

which means they would brainwash them, take it from their families, and turn them into elite infantry units in the military for the Ottomans. Right, so right now we just call that Democrats. Yeah, that's right. And they- Brainwash, kid, take it from your family now you try and some of these janitors actually rose to high ranks even grand viziers uh... but they

were slaves in origin but often not all right we're just taking care of a house or you get your butthole plunge yet it's just what they have to do but it was state-run social engineering and slavery that converted people to Islam and kept control and a hierarchy from the Muslims at the top, the Christians at the bottom. Yeah, because you have to understand, you know, it was very important for nations. You could not neglect the North African coast and the southern Mediterranean Sea. That was a big part of commerce, getting good salt, spice, and all that. So they had to go through these

countries. There was not a way around. And this is where it gets interesting because here's the thing. We obviously fight a United States fights a war for independence, 1776 and roughly 1783. We get our independence boom. Now we're a country, but here's the thing. Here's the thing that you lose. You lost the protection of the British. So the British were able to protect you very specifically from the Barbary coast and North Africa. When you had the British's protection, when you were just a colonist, no problem. The British paid us for you baby girl, but now you don't got your daddy no more. Yeah. Now Britain is gone. So now you little United States that does

even have a US Navy that barely has any money, you got to pay us money if you want to come into Algiers. Yeah, because the British Navy was strong and now we don't have that. We don't even have a US Navy that barely has any money, you gotta pay us money if you wanna come into Algiers. Yeah, because the British Navy was strong and now we don't have that, we don't even have a Navy. No. But we still wanna do business. But I'd still like to make you an offer, Mr. Muhammad. So we kept throwing our ships out there,

trying to go through there, and they would just pick us off. Yeah. They would pick us off and enslave us and force us to pay the tribute because that's how their economy worked They were fucking criminals and you want to know about what the tribute really was? So initially the United States or what you know the the booming United States. We just got our freedom They had no choice but to pay the tribute. So initially

1784 1785 they're paying the Tripoli pirates and all that the money They said the US would pay the Barbary states including Tripoli pirates and all that the money they said the US would pay the Barbary states including Tripoli modern-day Libya about 20% of the entire federal budget in ransom so that is so do you understand a tribute to stop them from capturing American merchant ships that would be the same thing as if the US if 20% of their federal budget at the time you adjust that for inflation today that would be as if the United States were giving pirates $1 trillion a year to leave us alone.

It's a lot of money. That's insanity. Yeah. So it was like all the European countries were paying it to some extent. They just had the power. They could pick you off. They were good at it. And then so we had Jefferson and Adams were our first two presidents.

They were not our first two presidents. Jefferson, Washington, that's what I meant, Washington and Adams. And John Adams was the second and then Jefferson was the third and then John Quincy Adams was the fourth and then James Madison was the fifth. I have what's called autism. You do have autism and I forgot your home warming gift today. I got you a home warming gift. Yeah, you keep forgetting it. I forgot it again. You're forgetting it again. And that just reminded me of what it is. You're a home warming gift. Yeah, you keep forgetting it. I forgot it again. You're forgetting it again?

And that just reminded me of what it is. You're going to love it. Yeah, I can't wait. I got you a house warming gift. A house warming gift. I appreciate it. Yeah. Is it, um...

It's a court order that says you can live here. Yeah! Thank you! That's what I needed. No, you're going to love the gift. Yeah, I can't wait, cuz. So yeah, Washington and Adams, the gift. I can't wait. So yeah, Washington and Adams, the first two presidents just kind of dealt with it, paid

the ransoms, tried to negotiate treaties, whatever. They didn't do much about it. We didn't even have a Navy yet. We did not. That's the thing. We did not, you know, you think back to the United States, you think, boom, we all became the superpower that we are. No, no, no, baby.

We didn't even have a Navy when we first became a country. We didn't have a Navy. No, we were just finding, we were trying to find out who we were. Yeah. We were like, who am I as a country? Right. And this helped us figure it out because these two wars we're about to tell you were actually the first two foreign wars that we fought as a country. Absolutely. And we found that we're good at this. Yeah, well we did fight a couple other foreign wars when we fought with the Native Americans and the Native Americans said, we lived here first and I would say, no, you're a foreigner. Even though I looked at your face.

Yeah, those, depending on how you look at that. Depending on how you look at it, but yeah, yeah. So these two military conflicts ended up being between the United States and the Barbary States and actually because Adams and Washington did not fight this and just paid the tributes, the people were like, you know what, why don't we spend the money that we're using to pay these tributes to get our captives back or whatever? Why don't we use this money to build the Navy to go fight them? And Jefferson campaigned on that.

And that was part of the reason he got elected. That is why he was Donnie Trump saying, I'm closing the border and they elected him on it and he gave him a mandate, Jefferson had a mandate to go clean out the Barbary Coast. They clean out the Barbary Coast and then that's the thing is when Thomas Jefferson stepped up and acted like Trump, the same thing always happens.

Thomas Jefferson steps up and says, this is what we're campaigning on, we're gonna stop the piracy and then there's always a counterbalance. So just like Jefferson stepped up, Trump steps up, what always happens? The Muslims start screaming welcome Mamdani. Yeah, yeah. Jefferson gets this mandate. He goes to clean out the Barbary coast to fight them and then all of a sudden people start going wait a second, why a second? Why are we fighting the Jews wars? Yeah.

We're the Jews enemies. Yeah. And then we realized that Jefferson also was on the Epstein list. It's just what it is. That's how it went. PJ. So what actually happened, Yanni's right, Washington and Adams just deal with it. They said, we don't even have the money.

We barely have boats. We don't know what the hell we're doing. Just pay these Libyan fucks. So what Jefferson though, in 1801, the Pasha of Tripoli which is like the king the Prime Minister of Tripoli Youssef Khan Manali was his name he demanded an increase in tribute from the United States and then Jefferson says hold on wait a second I'm the great negotiator I wrote the art of the deal that's not how we're doing it. Yeah Trump wrote the art of the deal Thomas Jefferson wrote the art of the deal, that's not how we're doing it. Yeah, Trump wrote the art of the deal, Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence,

they're both authors to me. So what Jefferson says is, hold on, Pasha Youssef from Tripoli, I got people like you that work on my farms. Waste on cheese. I'm not giving you any more money, okay? The women that you got, I have babies with them. So her name's Sally.

So Thomas Jefferson says, absolutely not. We're not giving you any more money. And then Tripoli says, okay, well then if you come in here, baby girl, guess what? You're gonna have problems with us. So in response to that, Tripoli, so Libya, the Barbary coast declares war on us on the United States on May 14th, 1801, they say now we're fighting.

And guess what? They did it with the blessing of the British because the British were like, fuck you, do it. Yeah, weaken them. We hate them. We just lost the war to them. So the British were all in cahoots with them, those fucking turncoats. Right, right.

So he sent a, in 18 1801 Jefferson then sends a naval squadron to the Mediterranean and and in 1803 the USS Philadelphia is captured and the crew imprisoned. So at first it didn't go so good. At first it didn't go so well and just real quick I just want to say in 1794 the Naval Act of 1794 this is the first time that the United States puts a budget towards making and creating a US Navy and they did it in response to these pirates. So the US Navy actually goes into its first battle as Yanni said in 1801 they actually make a naval blockade. The United States Navy first time in action makes a naval blockade to blockade Tripoli. They sent a small thing

and they were blocking Tripoli saying you guys can't get out and these naval skirmishes Turned to occur but it wasn't until but it was 1794 when the US Navy was even created So it's wild because if there was no pirates there'd be no Navy Maybe we wouldn't have Navy see sometimes bad things create good things. Yeah, and sometimes wars are good I mean, what do you want us to do? Just let them? Yeah, been slaving us and add getting ransom payments No, you don't negotiate with terrorists. And that's the thing. And thank God for pirates, because if we didn't have any pirates, then we'd have no Navy and then we'd have nowhere for the gay men in our military to go. And they need to

play. What it is and they serve it on the Navy. Hello, Mr. Coxman. Yeah, so the USS Philadelphia gets captured. But instead of letting them, they thought this is too big of a prize. It's a big ship that costs a lot of money. We don't want them to get it. We don't want it to fall on their hands. So we have a guy named Lieutenant Stephen Decatur. Decatur.

Decatur. I grew up two blocks away from Decatur Street in Bridgewood. Yeah. So it was named after him probably. It was. Yeah. Because that's what we do, we name streets and our towns after American heroes. Yeah, I grew up on Schwarzkopf Boulevard.

Yeah. Remember they used to have the Iraq War trading cards? Yeah. That was a good time. So what was his name, Norman Schwarzkopf? Norman Schwarzkopf. Stormin Norman. Stormin Norman.

Yeah, so he decides in the daring raid to burn the Philadelphia, the ship. The USS Philadelphia. The USS Philadelphia to keep it from falling into pirates' hands. And this was hailed as a heroic naval action of the time. And the USS Philadelphia actually was captured relatively quickly because it was only shooting batteries out of his ship. And then in 1805, US Marines and mercenaries from the area, some of which were Greek, because we were like,

this is our chance to get back at these muzzies, march 500 miles overland from Egypt to attack Durnalibia, because what they found out is that the Pasha took control from his brother. They had like a civil war and he won control. So what we did was teamed up with the brother, hired some mercenaries from there and used them and invaded by land. Smart. Yeah. Very smart.

We know that our enemy is your enemy is now our ally. That's what it is. So this is 1805, this is the beginning of what is called the first Barbary War. And it was the first US military victory on foreign soil and the reason in that Marine Corps... Cause we made some shwarma! Yeah! When they go yeah! From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli, this is what they're talking about. The first Barbary War and they were making some shwarma. We made some shwarma and we

forced them to sign a treaty in 1805, 1805, where the US said, okay, we're going to pay a final ransom that releases our captives, our sailors, but from here on in, no more money. That's it. No more money. No. We're not getting ripped off anymore. We paid $60,000 for the release of the prisoners, less than all the other previous tributes,

and they said no more payments are required, no more payment tributes. The Barbary Coast said, you don't got to give us no more money. And it was our first demonstration of what US military power can do, strengthen the reputation of the US Navy and the Marine Corps. And we actually, it helped us because we noticed our Navy's a little weak. Yeah, keep betting against the USA. See how that goes. See how that goes. See how that goes for you.

See how that goes, Bob. Yeah, see how that goes because we're putting you in the water and we're boiling you. Like a fucking lobster alive. That's what it is. Yeah, we didn't put them in a microwave, we put them in a boiler. In a boiler. And one of the first Navy heroes of all time before the Admiral David Robinson is in 1804 the Pirates Force Tripoli when we talked about the USS Philadelphia, Janis quickly mentioned

Stephen Decatur, street that is in Ridgewood Queens. Stephen Decatur what he did is he disguised himself. This guy was like a Navy SEAL before with these were even a thing. Disguised himself and he snuck into Tripoli's harbor at night with a team of commandos and they set the ship on fire. The kid dressed up like a fisherman. He looked just like a guy from Algiers. He just looked like a muzzy fisherman. Gets on the USS Philadelphia and burned it down in front of the Ottoman Empire capturers. He burned it down in front of them and then British Admiral Nelson called it the most bold and daring act of the age.

So Stephen Decatur was a star. The kid was bold. He was daring. He spoke up and spoke the truth when no one else would, just like Elon Musk. Yeah, just like the liver king says, good and true. Yeah. He was good and true. Yeah, he was good and true. But then, of course, you know, they don't learn so easily. So they try again in 1815. They try to win another fight because, and can I just say we skipped over one thing one thing that the Tripoli did that The Pasha of Tripoli did in 1801 when we don't want to pay these tribute payments anymore

You know what this fucking guy did you know what this guy did and this is what really got us manamoy So now we're making a from coming over gonna block your thing He went outside and he chopped down the pole that was holding up the American flag He chopped down our you don't do that! He chopped down our flag and then he spit on it. Yeah. And so that's why we're gonna come hurt you now. We're gonna come hurt you. So they try again. So they said they figured oh the United States is bogged down in the War of 1812 with the British. Which by the way the War of 1812 with the British a lot of people don't we don't learn about that much because technically we didn't

Beat the British, but it was a tie the British didn't win either and so what good for you got to keep Canada We don't want it anyway. Yeah, it lasted three years so at that time the pirates started resuming their attacks because they thought we were weakened and vulnerable and so they they they started doing it again and Algiers steps up to the plate and they become the the worst defender of this and they started doing it again and Al Giers steps up to the plate and they become the worst defender of this and they start doing it. But we had another guy in office at this time, James Madison. James Madison who was the fifth president who also there's another street in Ridgewood called Madison. And my father went to Madison High School and played football there.

It's what it is, Cus. So he sent another powerful fleet led by Stephen Decatur again Yeah, and William Bainbridge a couple of American boys couple Yeah, he sent the boys over there and they captured key Algerian ships and they forged Algiers Tunis and Tripoli to sign new peace treaties take the deal or we're making more swarm They literally put a treaty out and they put their dick on and they said talk to my dick They basically went over there with a fucking meat spin stick that you see at the Euro place and said sign this or you're going on the stick. And that's what I like about James Madison because he was the president that was all about manifest destiny and that motherfucker said manifest

destiny we own the whole world. Yeah so all the Barbary states therein um ceased piracy, they freed all the American captives, and they stopped demanding tribute, and the US would never again pay tribute to a foreign power never again. And that was our never again. Never again, and that's why they have this still to this day lasting peace treaty with Morocco because they after that's why it's the longest peace treaty in American history because Morocco still don't mess with us. Yes, Morocco, they bend the knee early. They bend the knee before all the other ones.

But this is where the US Navy's reputation as a global force started. We gained confidence. The Marine Corps gained national prestige. The people were celebrating this. And it proved that the United States as a new nation could defend its interests abroad. And boy did we keep doing that. We kept doing that and that is why, and that's why too, what we also did

is we showed the other countries, the United States showed the other countries that you don't have to pay for this barbarism either. You don't have to pay this tribute to them. We did it, you could do it. And then we really collapsed this North African pirate economy because- These evildoers.

These evildo, because after that, about the 1830s, 1840s, that was all gone. Yeah. And now look at Algeria now. Yeah, and the Europeans got confident over this and, oh wow, we don't have to do this, we could do that, we could just fight back. And then, you know, it culminated in France's invasion

of Algiers in 1830 and they just took it over. Right. So then they took it over. So a lot of people, they don't know the context sometimes. They go, oh, look, the French colonized Algiers, where if you ask me, they gave Algiers what they deserved. It's what it is. And now, right after this quick break,

we're gonna talk to you about all the white slaves they had. You have life insurance? Cause, well, that's the thing. I want to tell you, cause you and I both have daughters. And so what we need when you have a family, we need to think about life insurance. I know we're young kids, but we're also getting older as kids,

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Are you? Cuz we've been drinking, we've been going out since we got back together. We've just been having a few brews. Yeah. And we've been drinking and we've been waking up hungover, calories, and we've said, how can we get like a little bit of a buzz without the calories? And then you told me about Sol.

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We don't negotiate with terrorists. We don't. Zero dollars. Yeah, and so like I said, now we're going to talk about the Ottoman slave trade. So the Ottoman slave trade, So the Ottoman slave trade. Okay, so first of all, what they would do, their slavery, as Janos was saying, a lot of it was whatever, kind of whatever ships they captured,

like how a shark will eat anything, you'll find a license plate in there, you'll find some fish, you'll find a human hand. That's what the North African Barbary states were like, whoever we catch is a slave. It doesn't matter if you're white. That's the one thing I do respect about them. They did not discriminate amongst their slaves, and that's good. They were not racist. Took a diverse array of slaves.

Which is nice. Which makes the slavery less bad. As long as it's not racist, slavery's okay. That's what it is. So what they did is a lot of these European ships that they took, they enslaved the sailors. So you had hundreds to maybe thousands of white Christians over the 200, 300 years of slavery that were full slaves.

Some of these guys got taken into slavery as little as 10 years old and were slaves till they died at 80. Yeah, most of them. That's crazy. Yeah, most of them were. They took... Could you imagine being a white slave dying and going Wei Song Xian

Lad 14 Something got wrong in the matrix the glint yeah you're like wait this isn't something got wrong in the creators of the matrix too did you see them those guys are girls now yeah did you see that yeah Yeah. The two brothers who wrote The Matrix or directed or who are they? Some people say they stole the script. They were the Menendez brothers and now they are the Menendez sisters. It's what it is. Yeah, they actually did our episode and turned into the sisters. See, that's what I respect. I think the Wachowski brothers they both went trance. I respect it because we just did a bit calling ourselves the Menendez sisters, but they became the Menendez sisters. I like that, that's commitment. They did.

Yeah. And then we'll also, by the way, by the way, what do you think if you're a white guy, you're a European, you're a European, you're a white sailor, you get captured, now you're a slave and they tell you, okay, you're a slave now. And they say, all right, I can handle that.

But then they say, you also have to convert to Islam. Yeah. Introducing TurboTax Business, a brand new way to file your own T2 return, all while getting help from an expert who actually knows small businesses. Got a tattoo studio, toy store, tiny but mighty taco stand? We've got someone who gets small business taxes inside and out.

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You get 72. The law works in your favor pretty good. It does, yeah. If you're a Muslim man at that time, the law works in your favor pretty good. Well, here's the thing. Talk about white privilege. At that time, it was like really there was no white privilege. If you were white, it was no good. It does, yeah. If you're a Muslim man at that time, the law works in your favor. Well, here's the thing. Talk about white privilege. At that time, it was like really, there was no white privilege. If you were white, it was no good. Here's the thing. Here's the thing I have to say about Islam and being Muslim is one

of those things where it's like, I understand the complexities of the religion. I understand how certain people could think Sharia law is not fun, but those people are women Right. I'm a guy right so Sharia law is kind of not It's kind of nice to have just a little quiet Just look quiet and then if you just if the garlic isn't sliced enough you get what we call Get a little talking to you. You can talk to and we are spoken to Obviously, I know we're joking, but this is one of these things where we are joking, but that is a real thing that we don't do.

Yeah, like if you're not getting blowjobs on the regular, you just go this one. That's what it is. And then you get a new one who knows what the rules are. That's all. One that operates more the way it was advertised to operate. So they would take the frequent sources for their white slaves were from Greeks, Serbs, Bulgarians, Albanians, Bosnians, like I said, the Caucasus, Georgians, Circassians, Armenians supplied

them with their white slaves for harems and elite households. And like I told you, the Circassian women were especially prized for their beauty and were often sold into the they had a harem system So you just went into the hair one is sarcasm modern-day Circassian they don't they don't really exist anymore. They're around it's by Russia you said circassia. Yeah, and the Russians Discriminated and brutalized them too. Yeah, and the Armenian- They're hot blonde chicks. Oh, hotty blondes, and then the Armenians all have fake butts. Yeah, they just all went into the harem system,

which was part of their system. It's sex slavery, you're just in the harem. By the way, white slavery in the Barbary world, between the 1500s and early 1800s, I misspoke, it was thought to 1 to 1.5 million Europeans were captured and sold into slavery and slayed by the Barbary pirates. Some people think maybe even sometimes even even more. Now for the Janissaries, like I said, it was always Christian boys from the Balkans. The eunuchs, they like I said, they liked the Africans for the eunuchs and they took some from the Caucasus. So you had a lot of, you had

Russian type people got their nuts sliced out and Africans got their nuts sliced out. But again we said with the Africans it's not a big deal because the penis was so big. Exactly and then for the harem concubines, Circassians, Greeks, Georgians, they like those. Georgian women are beautiful too. Domestic slaves, everybody, that was for the table. Domestic slaves? Yeah, so if you were just working in the house or whatever they took whatever.

Like you mean if you're like a woman just who like lives in Algiers? Or a dude, yeah. Or a dude. For domestic slavery, meaning like in the house. Oh, okay. You're my slave in the house. Got it, got it, house slave.

Yeah, and then for agriculture and urban labor, they took Christian and African slaves, and then galley slaves, the pirates would take, and that was very brutal, that was when they would chain you to the boat and you'd just have to row. And that was Europeans, and that was via these pirates that we're talking about

that would do that. So this slavery lasted from the 1300s to the 1800s, and a lot of people say it went on until, technically persisted till like the early 1900s, especially in some of the outer provinces of the Ottoman Empire. Well, one of the other things they say too, is like this whole, some historians argue that

the reason why, one of the main reasons why we today, like you sit in the United States in 2025, why we have, like we're always in everybody's business, we're always feel like, oh, where the country has to take care of the whole world. These Barbary Wars was a first step towards that because we went over there and kind of changed the whole scope. This was such a big part of the economy that the United States won a war to change. So the earliest American efforts, a lot of people think like how we protect citizens

abroad and how we assert sovereignty amongst all nations. It all started with these Barbary Wars. Yeah. So it's very interesting. It's very interesting. Barbary Walters. Yeah, Barbary Wars, the Barbary Walters. Yeah, and it's also interesting to think about like before the slavery in America that this was just what empires and power did. Right.

It was just a massive part. Slavery was just a massive, if not the most massive part of your economy that made your economy run. I mean, yeah. Free labor. When people got in control, they're like, hey, we don't want to work anymore, so let's get people to work for us. That's all it is. Yeah, and so it was just a part of their systems. And what do you want when you're in charge? You want pussy. You want things done for you. So, you know,. So that's what you do. And listen, here's the thing, slavery is around in any human beings, as long as there's mass numbers of human beings, there will always be some sort of slavery. Of course,

actually having your full body enslaved is the most brutal, cannot argue that. But right now, I guarantee you, the people 200 years from now are going to say that we were enslaved by our phones and technology yeah so it is just who's the master yeah back in these times another human being was the slave master and that was awful and much much more brutal way to live but make absolutely no mistake baby gorgeous you are a slave to technology right now and the people from the future will see that yeah so you can look at your phone and call it a poshka that's what I I do, yeah. Here's the thing. Some of the guys I know in my life are hungry for Hull.

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from slavery to become people but these are exceptions there's not a lot so you had this guy Sokolu Mehmed Pashka he was a grand vizier which is a prime minister under three sultans and he was Serbian and he was taken via Dev Shirma so he was taken from his family and converted and whatever. And then you had Roxelana, whose name was Hrem Sultan, who was a Ukrainian concubine, who she was a whore from the Ukraine, she was taken for sex slavery, and she ended up becoming the wife of Sultan Suleiman and wielded vast power. So he fell in love with that puss and he turned her into somebody. That's the thing cuz nothing's fought I think in human history the

two things are puss and salt. Yes. That's what everybody fights over. And then we had Cosum Sultan who was a Greek concubine who ruled as a regent and power broker so there was a few... I like the word concubine. I want to start bringing back cuz what does concubine mean? Like I mean? Is concubine like a slave owner? What is a concubine? No, a concubine basically is a whore, right? Jesse wrote concubine. Yeah, it's a woman who lives with a man in a sexual relationship but is not legally his

wife. So, Jasmine's a concubine. Yes. So, you're a girlfriend, before your wife was your wife and she was your girlfriend, she was your concubine. Well, no, because it depends. A woman, a concubine, the historical definition of a concubine is a woman who is a lower status in a sexual relationship.

So it's basically she's not there because she loves it. Got it. Okay, I thought it just meant if you're having sex with a woman and you're not married to, that's your concubine. No. That'd be funny if I started introducing my girlfriend as my car I'd like I said, this is a this is the definition of yeah Yeah, so basically it's a man with power or wealth Who has a household or palace?

So he has multiple wives and partners and his concubines would be in his harem So he it's you know how rich guys have cars? Yeah. They got like loads of cars and they go, I'm taking out the GX 80 or whatever today, or I'm taking out the BMW. I'm taking out my Cybertruck today. Basically, they'd go to the harem and say, which one do I feel like banging out today? So in other words, how we have to today in modern. Sounds fucking good.

So that it's interesting how they had literally harems of sex slaves and that's what they would call loopholes. So we get, and they get, have full castles of sex slaves. Yeah, they weren't loopholes because that was the law. Yeah. So it was the norm. Yeah. So their loophole would be to not do it.

Yeah. Yeah. That would be, it would be the opposite if they saw a guy who didn't do it, be like, you found a loophole to be to not do it. Yeah. Yeah That would be would be the opposite if they saw a guy who didn't do it be like you found a loophole to be Somewhat decent. Yeah, it's just what it is So the concubines would entertain serve please the Sultan whatever they wanted right and um I gotta be honest with you. Yeah, I gotta be honest with you It's kind of nice to think about I know that there's a lot of problems with that, I get it, but it's kinda nice just to like not be under pressure to always be making the right move.

We're in like a surveillance state here, everybody knows everything about you, you make one man mistake, there's evidence of it forever. It would have been nice to just be in the Ottoman Empire in the 1600s and have a couple of concubines. It would be nice to be a Muslim guy in the Ottoman Empire. Being a Muslim guy in the Ottoman Empire. Being a Muslim guy, if you're gonna be Mus,

being Mus in the Ottoman Empire is glory. Yeah, it really is. It really is glory. And I just love the way they were kind of, they were smart, but they were brutal. Brutal but smart. Like this Janissary system was kind of smart, right? So you don't wanna die in war. Like if you're in control and everything's good kind of smart, right? So you don't want to die in war, right?

Like if you're in control and everything's good and you're a Muslim dude, you don't want to die. So what you do is you take young Balkan men from age 8 to 18, but probably they probably got them like around 8 or younger, right? You just take them from their families and you force convert them to Islam and then you train them in war take them from their families and you force convert them to Islam and then you train them in war, discipline and loyalty to the Sultan alone. So that's all they know. Right. And you turn them into these Manchurian candidates that fight for you. Yeah.

So that's just right there all your evidence that all your issues and problems come from your childhood and what you know is from your childhood because these people would actually go and fight for the Sultan. The guy who actually fucking kidnapped them and took them away from their parents, he turned them and so it's just how you can turn anyone's reality and mold anyone's reality the way you want. This is my problem with culture wars and when people talk about their culture, whatever your culture is today, there's a 99.9% chance it was raped into your great great

great great great grandmothers and grandfathers by whatever person conquered your land So whatever your culture is is an amalgamation of a bunch of other cultures So that's why there is no culture. It's just being a human Yeah, so you can put your hair whatever way you want to put your hair Yeah, because the people that are saying that's the way my hair is and you're stealing my culture idea It's like I don't know bitch. Maybe my grandfather was the salt who raped your grandmother five hundred years ago And really you're still in my hair

Everybody's got a grape gene. That's what it is. Everyone's taking a little sip of grape juice everybody Everybody's ancestry comm should say welches. Yeah, but it's kind of ingenious when you think about it because they would actually train these Janissaries they isolated them. It's kind of what cults do right? So they isolate them they were not allowed to, to marry, own property or have outside contracts. And they were better fed, trained and paid than most soldiers. So they were treated real well. So although they were being abused and brainwashed, they felt like they were great because they were trained to be the elite soldiers and they were fed well and they were like they were you know idolized for being such a soldier so they felt like shit so they forgot about

their mom and they dad and they were like we get good we're we're the Sultan treats us good that's all it is so we'll go die for the Sultan so so they were brutalized when they were young but they you know, but that's how they broke them. And they turned them into vicious soldiers for the soldiers. So there you go, you could tell everyone how you know now how the US Navy started, you know why they say the shores of Tripoli, and that yes, there were white slaves.

Yeah, there was millions of them. Millions of them. And it was brutal. And it was Magoot. And it was brutal. Magoot, and when someone asks. Brutal. Magoot. And when someone asks you a question, who does the United States have

the longest standing peace treaty with, you're gonna know the answer. That's right. And it's Morocco. Yeah, it's a time, we're telling you about the time where America became the force for good. Yeah, and that we're still here

and we're still the good guys, folks. As always, we like to end off every episode, you know, patreon.com slash historyienas. We like, we love the newest members of the matriarchy. You know, we got a lot of great bonus content up there. You get early access to all the episodes where real, all the fun happens, where nothing's cackled out except for some of the stuff I said last week. We know that some of you guys are mad about that.

We won't let it happen again, but we we We like on these live shows We love when the audience gets involved and helps us pick who the winner is as we call the Pseudo penis of the week so Here we go here are the names these are the newest members of the Maytruck it will get through as many as we can we Only got a few minutes here, but starting off. We got TJ Schlar Schlitt Okay, then we got my truck has an Eastern Hemi, call it a Dodge Lamb. Eastern Hemi is a Chinese person, no?

Wait, I don't know if they got that, did you get it? You know what a Dodge, he's struggling with the R and the L's, so he called it a Dodge Lamb instead of a Dodge Ram. Drexler, Drexler, Drexler, yeah. Okay, then we have Thatcher Helton, that sounds like a white man. Yeah.

And then we got so deep in the closet, they call me Anne Frank. Roll it out, roll it out. Are you on the list? You can't go, this is a democracy, you can't, yeah, it's gotta go on the list. Catapult it on. That's gotta be a catapult.

On the list. That's on the list, that's the first one on the list, they're in contention. You guys decide, I didn't do that, you did it. Then we got Robbie Howe, then we got That's gotta be a catapult. That's a catapult. That's on the list. That's the first one on the list. They're in contention. You guys decide. I didn't do that. You did it. Then we got Robbie Howe.

Then we got, was asked to leave for saying it's actually pronounced Chingus Khan. Was asked to leave. Kid was probably at college and he probably was in a history class. And he said, I heard on the history I heat is that the way you call it is Chinggis Khan and they kicked him out of school because of you cuz they asked him To leave. Yeah, it's the way you don't say it's Chinggis Khan. It's Chinggis Khan. That is the Mongolian pronunciation If you know one thing about me, I'm fucking pro Mongolia. Yeah What is that one? No, no, no

Drexler Drexler Drexler Brian Montanez Austin Schleick skr dildo Baggins Chicken finger River Pena John Dreher Wenix Montez, then we got my cousin married a muzzy and now Hold on. Hold on. Oh, here we go. My cousin married a muzzy and now her chest is ticking. You see, what happens with the live ones is their favorites are gonna be the walked into ones. Yeah, it's just what it is. Sorry about that. I mean, that's another catapult if you ask me,

to be honest with you. Okay, then we got, then next we got, it's not gay if you pull out It's a good point Drexler Drexler, okay, and then we got user nine six seven four five nine eight four one four This person just gave their phone number Yeah, then we got Brown and proud but don't tell ice Last chicken finger List, Chicken Finger. List, I guess it's a list, but I think the other ones may be better. Give them an honorary list.

Jessica Perna, Kevin Fitzsimmons, Hans Jobs, then we got, I just love, Flip, Hans Jobs. Wait, you missed one. Hans Jobs. Hans Jobs, Hans. Chicken Finger, Hans Jobs. Sorry, sorry about that. I thought that was just one of my German friends. Hans Jobs. Hans Jobs. Yeah, Hans Jobs. Like Hans Jobs, Hans. Chicken Finger. Hans Jobs.

Sorry. Sorry about that. I thought that was just one of my German friends. Hans Jobs. Then we got, I just love flipping Southern Baptist, hashtag beam me up Scotty. I don't know. All right. Sea Tuck.

Then we got Man Bitch Sloppy Ho. Nick Weida. Vishal Mishra. Then we got man bitch sloppy ho Nick Weida Vishal Mishra Then we got DME for TT Jerry and Tim Dillon sex tape Guys got some valuable info then we got Michael Ficente then we got kick me in the balls and call me by my transgender name Was that you Was that you? Was that?

You gotta put that on the list by the crowd reaction. You have to put it on the list. Put it on the list? Okay. Jack Burnett, Taylor Harris, then we got My Huzzy is My Cuzzy Wuzzy, which, hold on. My Huzzy is My Cuzzy Wuzzy, which is okay because I'm a muzzy. Wow. is my cuzzy wuzzy which is okay because I'm a muzzy. Wow. Landed it nice. Yeah, that's a list.

You gotta do it. Yeah, I mean, but it's also a walked into one. I mean, what are we supposed to do? Okay, got my cemetery science degree now. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. No, no. Chris, you're fucking shit. Slow.

You are so, it takes you a second. I mean, it's just. Now I see it. Yeah, it's just, you can't. Sorry about that. I mean, it's like, he's the worst. Hey, stop doing that, you fuck. You gotta stop. No, no, no. You're like a hockey goalie with that. It can't be a hockey goalie.

I swear to God, I don't know what it is about my brain. I don't even see it and know until Yannis reacts and starts going like goal. I swear to God. I don't know what it is about my brain I don't even see it and know until the honest reacts and starts going like this I have no idea, but I gotta say you guys are getting very inventive with them. I have to say that Okay, here we go when my dog is tired. I call him Yarnas puppets. That's just a cute one That's your honest chicken finger check out. Hans Gundersen, a lot of Germans today. Dr. Cumsack, Arlen Halleo. Then we got watching Louis C.K. Stroke his glue gun, but I signed the permission slip.

Put them on the list. Yeah, that's really good. Old habits die hard. Chris Booth, Christine Jenkins. Then we got my eighth grade teacher was a solid seven, the Frisbees for sure did 9-11. They gotta put it on the list, it's the people, it's the people want it. Then we got Harry Larry, patriarchal matriarch, M. Sampson, a girl named Cory, Josh Gowen,

Donnie Baum, then we got Zoran Baumdanihim. I don't know. It's kind of a walk into one I think. Then we got a Leroy cartoon comedy called... Oh, fucking Christ. Can't do that. Jesus fucking Christ. I, as soon as it ended I saw y'all. I'm sorry. Sorry about that. It says, Jesus fucking Christ. What is wrong with you, dude?

Drew McDaniel, Brendan Schaub's lost joke book. Drexler, Drexler, Drexler. Very funny. Drekster, Drekster, Drekster. Very funny. Zechariah leak free roof stitchens, okay. Seth Sousa. Then this is a good one, but I think we've had it before. Yanni Pease unibrow, AKA the graza strip. We haven't had that.

Is that good though? I don't know, it's more of a Drekster I think, yeah. Good graza strip, okay. Travis shaky Susan fixing roof leaks for Squeak Freaks. A muzzy kid who likes money, AKA Lebanese or Scrooge. That's a catapult right there. That is a definite catapult, okay? Yeah.

Santiago de la Torre, Colleen Me Out, like Clean Me Out but Colleen Me Out. Ooh. That's over there in the corner. Yeah, that's a strong chicken finger. Then we got my frisbee is a cowboy hat, call me Corpus Crispi. Just found out you're supposed to use a metal coat hanger. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Jesus Christ. It means it broke off in there. That's horrible. That's a walk.

That is a walk into one award. Kyle Lacer. Bodie Hungerford. Then we got the O.G. Fingerfucking Pharaoh. Trexler. Freddie from Maine, not Fox News. Fingerfucking Pharaoh Freddy from Maine not Fox News Ministo Joe Leroy ceiling cricket which we missed before Then we got UCF who needs a dick. Oh wait UCF who needs a dick to the caboose or

Or I can't sometimes when you put when you just make it one word I can't read it sorry then we got Nancy Jew in the case of the missing frisbee walked in okay Thomas Petrowski eight dollar white sauce in my belly button Drekster. CIA beam recruiter. Noah Ferrari. Tattentrot. Danny Gravel. Tim. David. Beefcake. Daddy Yank Me. Wow. Wow. Wow. Put him on the list. Instead of Daddy Yankee, Daddy Yank Me? Sometimes I got to override the reaction that was goody then we got Schultz's shoe recycling and ash disposal I don't get it maybe the oh my god it's a walk-in one they were it's a bad walk-in one that's horrible Jesus Christ I don't know what oh my god sorry all right my sengalese door dasher is a bridge and tunnel boy I don don't know. Chris Shrubin, Tom Morrissey, Matthew Chilbeck.

Put it in my dog ball because my stink wrinkle is busy. I don't even know what that means. Soy sauce monkey. Vitamin Leroy, Jeremy Fleming. Grandpa was a frisbee but I take the host and have a three inch post. I don't know what that means. All right, it's just a small piece. All right, couple more and then we're going.

Yeah. And then we'll pick it. Finish this off. Okay, John Cougar. Oh my God. But it is very good though. It's very funny, but it's a walk into one. Okay.

Can't do it. But very inventive. Boomshakalaka, Felton Kemp, Robert Santiago, Yanni Salami in Biryani Poonani. Okay. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it. It's a victim of a bad read though.

Sponge Thug, Square Nuts, Kev Botts, Varome, Jacob Sallo, Timmy D, Sucked on My Ween, and Amp, Now I Ain't Gay No More. Black and White, Half Poo, Half Glue. sucked on my ween and amp now I ain't gay no more black and white half poo half glue technically came to got this is a description of yeah Walter Soaker Chris Cruz sausage monkey with a little smoke soul size piece Kiefer Hernandez Thomas you're not catapulting my GF all the way back to Brazzel. Oh, Brazill.

You, sorry. Brazzel. He read it as Brazzel. He spelled it with an S, isn't it with a Z? Yeah, you're right. You're right. Yeah. Sean Reynolds, your fat uncle,

aka H. Foley's ozempic plug. Right. When I drink tequilas, and when I drink tequila's and when I drink tequila's I end up texting to Scoutmaster Kevin okay it's a good one but it was victim of bad reach okay had enough of King Louie shitting while we talked so I told him to go to the corner turn around and don't wipe okay do you like that episode? Beam me up, bitch. The Holly Hobbs.

Michael Raines. Broggy Girl Doll Guten Fissen. Some of these are just my friends. Nicholas Morgan. I was promised a membership 3,000 years ago. Time to blow you up. That's a good one though. Surge P, my octopus's teacher swim through fish fumes. The backstroke lifeguard, Kershon Gupta, Sir Harrison,

Mohammed Saleed, tucked it back so the frisbees can't clip me. And then Nicholas Morgan. Okay, so should we just do, there's one more page of names left, but should we just, actually no, there's two more. Let's do the list. Let's do the list, yeah, let's do it.

Okay, here we go. No, we're getting, we're getting, we're getting. Five minutes? Okay, go. Okay, let's go. Okay, here we go. So this is the list, and then we'll pick. So deep in the closet, they call me Anne Frank.

Woo! Woo! My cousin. Gotta keep that around. My cousin married a muzzy, my cousin married a muzzy and now her chest is ticking. Woo! Woo!

Keep it in? You gotta keep both of those. Okay. I'm going on crowd reaction, yeah. Brown and proud but don't call me Ice. No. Drexler, Drexler. Kick me in the balls and call me by my transgender name?

Drexler. Not enough. Yeah not enough. My huzzy is my kuzzy wuzzy which is okay because I'm a muzzy. Gotta keep it in. Watching Louie CK stroke his glue gun but I signed the permission slip. Keep it in, keep it in. My eighth grade teacher was a solid seven the Frisbees did 9-11. Keep it in, keep it in. We're gonna have a real race off here. This is a very high brow podcast. A muzzy kid who likes money aka Lebanese or Scrooge. That, I mean, to me that is a tough one to beat. Daddy Yank Me, that's another good one. Gotta keep it, wow, it's gonna be tough.

And then, okay, that's it, so. Tough. All right, here we go. So, so deep in the closet, they call me Anne Frank. Drexler, Drexler. Drexler it, Drexler. My cousin married a muzzy and now her chest is ticking. Yeah, Drexler. Yeah, I just got to Drexler it. My huzzies is my cousin which is okay because I'm a muzzy.

Drexler. Watching Louis CK stroke his glue gun but I saw the permission slip. That's still in the game, but I saw the permission slip. That's still in the game. That's still in the race. My eighth grade teacher was a solid seven. The Frisbees did 9-11. Yeah! That's still in the race.

A muzzy kid who likes money, AKA Lebanese or Scrooge. That's it. Oh wow, that could be it. And Daddy Yank Me. Yeah. Yeah. So who is it? So we got four. We got four now we got to do it from those four

Let's let them see you guys decide with what your reaction Okay Daddy yank me a Muzzy kid who likes money aka Lebanese or Scrooge So daddy yank me is out Watching Louis CK stroke is glue gun but I signed the permission slip. No, Lebanese. And then my eighth grade teacher was a solid seven,

the Frisbees did 9-11. It's between that one and Lebanese or Scrooge. So let's do it one more time. The only thing I think we can do is let the Jamaican people decide. That's it, I think that's it. I think that's what we're going to do. I think we're going to let you two guys decide this right now.

What do you like? What do you like? Lebanese or we got Lebanese or Scrooge? Or we have the Frisbees did 9-11 one. I think we're going to go with Scrooge. Scrooge is the winner. Scrooge is the winner. Give it up for the Jamaican Pop Sliding Team, everybody. I'm gonna go with Scrooge. Scrooge is the winner. Lebanese and Scrooge. Scrooge is the winner. You're the winner. Give it up for the Jamaican Bop Sliding Team everybody.

Congratulations guys. Thank you guys. Give it up for the Unique. Smart Chrissy and the Greek Kid. Thank you. Thank you everybody. Thanks for all the support. Thank you so much.

Thanks for coming out.