Hodgetwins Podcast - His Dad Told Him He Was Gay When He Was 7...

Episode Date: October 16, 2026

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Consumer Reports is not indoors products or services Yeah Who yeah bitch I said it bitch You do it better to me Yeah See you um You got to meet

You was on Kill Tony You got to meet Jordan Peterson. Yeah, he was on Kiltoni with me. Yeah. How was he like in person? He's a very sweet guy in person. I just did his podcast.

And we went out for dinner. So I had dinner with him and his wife. You have to buy for coffee. He doesn't, he only eats steak. He only eats steak. No, just steak. Yeah, yeah. So he asked me out for steak.

And he'll be hearing from my lawyer soon. Because I don't need. eat meat during Pride Month. Hey, how the hell does he? He only eats steak, no salad, no fiber, no nothing. He and his daughter. No. It's working for him. Whatever, I mean, holy shit. It brought him back from the dead. Like, he was,

he was dying. He had some something happened. You're just scratching your nuts. He's not. He's not a whole show. I mean, you're like, you're talking and you're like, yeah, he was eating steak and shit.

You totally eat. That's not how I actually. the girl out for coffee. Hey, you want to get them out? Oh, no, I'm covered in Poison Ivy from the waist down. Really? Really? Yeah, covered. Oh, no shit. I didn't know what it... I didn't know what Poison Ivy

was. I didn't know what it looked like. You know what could you point out Poison Ivy? It's like a green leaf. Yeah, yeah. So are they all. You fucking racist. You botanist? Oh, man. Oh, they're all green leaves, aren't they? I got it with his little kids, remember? Yeah.

You wouldn't... I'd tell you what's worse. I wouldn't know it. I'd tell you worse than... Coz and Ivy? Crabbs. Crabbs. Mm-hmm.

I almost ripped my balls off. You know what's... I was in pretty cool. I was scratching by nuts, right? I was in cameras and Sergeant, and he said, man, why you keep scratching? I said, I don't know. It's fucking itching.

Right? And then I was talking to my homeboy. He said, man, I got it, too. I was like It was that fucking black bitch We gave Oh So I went down to the thing

And they said Yeah you got crabs They got you some shampoo I went down to the thing I hope you never get convicted For murder Where were you that day I went down to the thing

I had crabs Oh but it's the worst thing You know what's worse than crabs What? Poison crabs Oh yeah Yeah I'm covered I literally

I have a dog And we go hiking in Texas And I didn't know I didn't know We'd been hiking in a forest of poison I. So you got this shit on you... Well, I got a massage last night,

and I think she rubbed it up. Like, yeah. Two hours in Vegas, I got, and I was out of massage park. Unlock unlimited free grocery delivery with PC Express Pass. Shop online and get the same low, No Frills prices delivered.

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Yeah Oh yeah Oh yeah Unbelievable We used to do that all the time We was in the Marine Corps We called them the jackshacks Well she had a sign

It said Legitimate Service No Hanky Panky And I go I don't want Hank I just want a hand job I don't want to be Hanky That's what they all say

I don't speak Chinese That's what they all say But when the money comes out The whore comes out Yeah, the worst is when you gotta give them a credit card and you're naked and they gotta bring back, you gotta sign a receipt on the table. I've never done that, but... Well, I can't ask women out for coffee, so I gotta go have fucking old Asian women jerk me off for $60. I didn't choose this life.

Well, that's white privilege. I have to tip them to like $200. You only have to pay $60 because you're white. Yeah, they should have to. of the racial chart of the pricing. So you say he's a sweet guy, Jordan Peterson? Very, yes.

He's the one that convinced me to pursue marriage. My parents got divorced. My dad came out of the closet when I was seven. You're kidding. Came out as racist. No, he's, yeah, a gay dad.

Okay. Yeah, he came out as gay. And so... When you were seven? I'm not a doctor, but That'll fuck up a seven-year-old pretty well. This was 1993 or something? Oh, that's a day just coming out back in 1980.

No, that was, see, the woke kids today, they didn't understand that, like, that was when it was bad, and maybe you wanted to, like, wave a flag, you know, for a day or two. You know, I never really understood that term gay, because a lot of times it just means you're bisexual. Yeah, you're fucking, I mean, switch to. He, well, yeah, he banged my mom, at least. three times. I got, there's three brothers, so

we don't have the data, but at least three times. He's a switch hitter. Like, when you hear people say they gay, you're like, you're bisexual, you're just a free. No, you're fucking gay. Yeah, yeah, automatically if you sleep with the same set you're gay, yeah. Can you believe bisexuals want to

be oppressed and stuff? I'm like, you all get to fuck everybody? And you're like, oh, oh, oh, I can't get a job because you're fucking everybody. Yeah. Hey, did you ever have a conversation with your dad about that? He said, He said, I'm gay, and that was it.

I swear, never brought it up again. Go play. Swear to God. I didn't know what it meant. He just wanted to get the hell out of there. I didn't know what it meant, because back then it was, really, there was no gay people on TV. Remember when Ellen DeGeneres came out? And it like, oh, my God, it was like insane.

It was, like, worse than the Iranian war. Yeah. And so. Yeah, I was very ignorant to it myself. I didn't realize that... I didn't know what it meant. I just didn't know. I thought, like, we had gay neighbors, and I go, what do you mean?

I go, they're brothers? Like, I couldn't... And so... They're partners. Yeah, partners. And my dad's a lawyer. So I remember he would tell... He would be like, oh, my partner...

This is my partner to my friends, like nine. Nine years old, 1993. Did your friends, like, tease you about it? Well, no, we didn't quite know what it was. I don't know why he's doing it to a seven and to your friends. I would have kept that shit to myself. Why are you putting all that on your son at that age? What a total asshole.

Yeah, but now I make a lot of money telling jokes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? It's like, yeah, that, that shaped my life. I always say, like, if it wasn't for homophobia, I wouldn't be born. Because if my dad wasn't closeted, he wouldn't have fucked a woman. Right. Like, I got to tip my hat to the homophobes.

Right. Like, you know, when I see a little homophobia, I'll go, thank you for your service. You got it. This is what young people don't do. They don't respect, like, their own history. You have to honor it. This is your history. Whether it's good or bad, it's what led us here, you know. You ever talk to your mom about it?

Did she ever have a conversation with it? How does she take it? Bet she called them the F word, I bet. I knew what I knew with that fucking sire. You're not going to believe this. She didn't take it well. And still isn't. 31 years later.

Yeah. I remember she'd go in the crawl space under the stairs. Am I talking about my privileged life too much? I'm sorry if this is triggering all the fucking white privilege I had with a gay dad and a mentally ill mom. And the police department was black. And so in my town. man, that's a fucked up life. A black.

I'm like a, I live in like the upside out world. You live in the Twilight Zone. This is an episode on the Twilight Zone. Did you make me a white guy and all the cops are black? Is this some kind of fucked up joke? Yeah, you dance game, Bob's fucking losing a fucking mind. The cops are black. Oh my God.

Dude, I did this. Oh, my God. That's probably why you're a comedian. Yeah. Have you seen a. A lot of fucked up shit. Oh, yeah. You got a fucked up story, right?

I know your family's all fucked up. I had to stop watching you guys. I go, these guys are too fucked up. Oh, man, we had a rough childhood. Right, right. It was crazy. It made us, well, you had to, to, to tolerate how fucked up my lives was. Oh, yeah.

You just make fun of everything. Oh, yeah. That's probably why would. Me and my brothers were so funny. Yeah, yeah. Oh, we were so funny. We would just do all sorts of. Like a coping thing, you know?

Exactly. Yeah, yeah. No, it's, you have to honor it. So yeah, Richard Pryor. Yes, what made him a comedian. He's dead. What do you mean? No.

His fucking mom was wrong. His mom ran a whorehouse. She used to bring home Jones and fuck him. And now he's dead. No, my mom under the stairs to the basement, she carved the word gay into the wall with like a knife and she would scream in there. Really? And she would just scream like, gay!

You know, I'm like getting ready for school. you know, what can you go wrong? You get rid of Scott? Yeah. Yeah, and because she had to get a job, she had to run, she ran a daycare in our house. So my whole house was filled with children. So I would wake up in the morning.

I'm holding a goddamn baby eating cereal. My mom's screaming fat in the closet. You know, I'm not going to meet my dad's new partner after school. Telling my friends it's his law partner. Yeah. Oh, no, that's his law partner. Why does he sleep over?

Oh, they got a, they're working on a hard case, so they got to burn the midnight oil. If you hear some screaming and moaning, they're recreating the murder. So I would do that shit. I would make up, yeah. Yeah. Damn. Is your dad still alive today? He is, yeah.

Yeah, he got married and very close with his husband, partner. Do you ever tell him he's going to burn in here for eternity? Jesus Christ. No, I don't think he is. I think the stuff that's bred from that is the real problem. I think we had a good grasp on it. Like we had gay, lesbian, and straight. That was plenty.

That's good. That's three. Three things. We can't. Now it's just. What the fuck? And I don't think he likes that stuff. My dad, like, he looks like Bruce Willis and Joe Rogan fucked.

I mean, he's like, he's more of a straight guy than me. Yeah? Yeah. He's like, fucking. So he's definitely the top, huh? He's both. He's both. But he doesn't like, I don't think he, I don't want to speak for him.

I don't think he's for any of this stuff. Yeah. There's no, there's no, like, we did a little bit of that stuff when I was a kid, so I was exposed to some of that. Also, bad timing coming off the AIDS epidemic when your dad comes out of the closet. Yeah. So, you know. You didn't get to hear of, did he?

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