Hodgetwins Podcast - TWINS POD CLIP | He Was Only 7 Years Old When His DAD Came Out of The CLOSET..

Episode Date: July 9, 2025

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Yeah. Do it, bitch. Unsaid it, bitch. You do it better to me. Yeah. See, you, um, you got to meet, you, uh, you got to meet, um, Jordan Peterson. Yeah, he was on Kiltoni with me. Yeah.

How was he like in person? He's a, he's a very sweet guy in person. I just did his podcast. Oh, yeah. And we went out for dinner, so I had dinner with him and his wife. You have to buy the coffee. He doesn't, he only, he only, he, steak.

He's like low carb, right? No, just steak. Yeah, yeah. So he asked me out for steak. And he'll be hearing from my lawyer soon. Because I don't eat meat during Pride Month. Hey, how the hell does he? He only eats steak, no salad, no fiber, no nothing.

He and his daughter. No. It's working for him. Whatever, I mean, holy shit. It brought him back from the dead. Like, he was dying. He had some something happened. He just crushing your ducks.

This is scratching is nothing old show. I'm... I mean, you're like, you're talking and you're like, yeah, he was eating steak and shit. You totally eat. That's not how I asked the girl out for coffee. Hey, you want to get to my. Oh, no, I'm covered in poison ivy from the waist down. Really?

Really? Yeah, covered. Oh, no shit. I didn't know what it... I didn't know what it looked like. You know what... Could you point out poison ivy? It's like a green leaf.

Yeah, yeah. So are they all. You fucking racist. You botanist. Oh, man. Oh, they're all green leaves, aren't they? I got it with his little kids, remember? Yeah.

You wouldn't... I'd tell you what's worse. I wouldn't know it. I'd say you worse than... Coos and ivy? Crabs. Crabbs. Mm-hmm.

I almost ripped my bow. You know what's... I was in pretty cool. I was scratching my nuts, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was in chemistry and sergeant, he said, man, why you keep scratching?

I said, I don't know it's fucking itching, right? And then he, and then I was talking to my home boy, he said, man, I got it too. I was like, it was that fucking black bitchy day. Oh. So I went down to the thing and they said, yeah, you got crabs. They gave me some shampoo. I went down to the thing. I hope you never get convicted for murder.

Where were you that day? I went down to the thing. I had crabs. Oh, but it's the worst thing. You know what's worse than crabs? What? Poison crabs. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I'm covered. I literally, I have a dog, and we go hiking in Texas, and I didn't know what, I didn't know we'd been hiking in a forest of poison. Yeah, so you got this shit on you. Well, I got a massage last night, and I think she rubbed it up. Like, yeah. Two hours in Vegas, I got, and I was out of massage park. This is a sick town. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Unbelievable. We used to do that all the time. We was in the Marine Corps. We called them the Jack Shacks. Well, she had a sign that said, legitimate service, no hanky-panky.

And I go, I don't want to Hank. I just want a hand job. I don't want to be hanky-panky. That's what they all say. I don't speak Chinese. That's what they all say. But when the money comes out, the horse comes out. Yeah, the worst is when you've got to give them a credit card and you're naked

and they got to bring back, you got to sign a receipt on the table. I've never done that, but... Well, I can't ask women out for coffee, so I got to go have fucking old Asian women jerk me off for $60. I didn't choose this life. Well, that's white privilege. I have to tip them to like $200.

You only have to pay $60 because you're white. Yeah, they should have the racial chart of the pricing. Yeah, so you said he was a sweet guy, Jordan Peterson? Very, yes. Yeah. I got, he's the one that convinced me to pursue marriage. Like, my parents got divorced. My dad came out of the closet when I was seven.

You're kidding. Came out as racist. No, he's, yeah, a gay dad. Okay. Yeah, he came out as gay. And so. When you were seven? I'm not a doctor, but that'll fuck up a seven-year-old pretty well.

This was 1993 or something? Oh, that's a day just coming out back in 1990. No, that was, see, the woke kids today, they didn't understand that, like, that was when it was bad. And maybe you wanted to, like, wave a flag, you know, for a day or two. You know, I never really understood that term gay. Because a lot of times it just means you're bisexual. Yeah, you're fucking, I mean, switch here. Well, yeah, he banged my mom at least three times.

I got, there's three brothers. so we don't have the data but at least three times he's a switch hitter like when you hear people say they gay you're like you're bisexual you're just a friend no you're fucking gay

yeah yeah automatically if you sleep with the same sense you're gay gay yeah can you believe bisexuals want to be oppressed and stuff I'm like you all get to fuck everybody and you're like oh oh I can't get a job because you're fucking everybody

yeah hey did you ever have a conversation with your dad about that He said He said, I'm gay And that was it I never brought it up again Go play

Swear to God I didn't know what it meant To get the hell out of there I didn't know what it meant Because back then it was really There was no gay people on TV Remember when Ellen DeGeneres came out And it like

Oh my God It was like insane It was like worse than the Iranian war And so I was very ignorant to it myself, I didn't realize that... I didn't know what it meant. I just didn't know. I thought, like, we had gay neighbors,

and I go, what do you mean? I go, they're brothers? Like, like, I couldn't... And so... They're partners. Yeah, partners. And my dad's a lawyer. So I remember he would tell... He would be like, oh, my partner. This is my partner.

To my friends, like, nine. Nine years old, 1993. Did your friends, like, tease you about it? Well, no, we didn't quite know what it was. I don't know why he's doing it to a seven and to your friends I would have kept that shit to myself Why are you putting all that on your son at that age

What a total asshole Yeah but now I make a lot of money telling jokes Yeah yeah you know what I mean It's like yeah that that That shaped my You know my life I always say like If it wasn't for homophobia I wouldn't be born Because if my dad wasn't closeted

He wouldn't have fucked a woman Right Like I got to tip my hat to the homophobes Right. Like, you know, when I see a little homophobia, I'll go, thank you for your service. You got it. This is what young people don't do. They don't respect, like, their own history.

You have to honor it. This is your history. Whether it's good or bad, it's what led us here, you know. You ever talk to your mom about it? Did she ever have a conversation with it? How does she take it? Bet she called them the F word. I bet you.

I knew what I knew That fucking f*** You're not going to believe this She didn't take it well And still isn't 31 years later Yeah She'd go in the crawl space

Under the stairs Am I talking about my privileged life too much I'm sorry If this is triggering All the fucking white privilege I had With a gay dad and a mentally ill mom And the and the police department was black.

So in my town... Man, that's a fucked up life. A black. I'm like a... I live in like the upside out world. You live in the Twilight Zone. This is an episode on the Twilight Zone. Did you make me a white guy and all the cops are black?

Is this some kind of fucked up joke? Yeah, you dance game. You're losing a fucking mind. The cops are black? Oh, my God. Dude, I did this. Oh, my God. That's probably why you're a comedian.

Yeah. Have we seen a lot of fucked up shit? Oh, yeah. You got a fucked up story, right? I know your family's all fucked up. I had to stop watching you guys. I go, these guys are too fucked up. Oh, man, we had a rough childhood.

Right, right. It was crazy. It made us... To tolerate how fucked up my lives was, it was just... You just made fun of everything. That's probably why... Me and my brothers were so funny.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, we were so funny. We would just do all sorts of... Like a coping thing, you know? Exactly. Yeah, yeah. No, you have to honor it. Look at Richard Pryor. Yes, what made him a comedian. He's dead. What do you mean?

No. His fucking mom was wrong. His mom ran a whorehouse. She used to bring home Jones and fuck him in. And now he's dead. No, my mom under the stairs to the basement, she carved the word gay into the wall with like a knife and she would scream in there. Really? And she would just scream like, gay!

You know, I'm like getting ready for school, you know. What can you go wrong? You get rid of school. Yeah. Yeah. And because she had to get a job, she had to run it. She ran a daycare in our house. So my whole house was filled with children.

So I would wake up in the morning. I'm holding a goddamn baby eating cereal. My mom's screaming fat in the closet. You know. I'm not going to meet my dad's new partner after school. Telling my friends it's his law partner. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, no, that's his law partner. Why does he sleep over? Oh, they got a, they're working on a hard case. So they got to burn the midnight oil. If you hear some screaming and moaning, they're recreating the murder. So I would do that shit. I would make up, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Damn. Is your dad still alive today? He is, yeah. Yeah, he got married and very close with his husband, partner. You ever tell him he's going to burn in here for eternity? Jesus Christ. No, I don't think he is.

I think the stuff that's bred from that is the real problem. I think we had a good grasp on it. Like we had gay, lesbian, and straight. That was plenty. That's good. That's three. Three things. We can't.

Now it's just, what the fuck? And I don't think he likes that stuff. My dad, like, he looks like Bruce Willis and Joe Rogan fucked. I mean, he's like, he's more of a straight guy than me. Yeah? Yeah. He's like, fucking. So he's definitely the top, huh?

He's both. He's both. But he doesn't like, I don't think he, I don't want to speak for him. I don't think he's for any of this stuff. Yeah. There's no, there's no, like, we did a little bit of that stuff when I was a kid, so I was exposed to some of that. Also, bad timing coming off the AIDS epidemic when your dad comes out of the closet.

Yeah. So, you know. You didn't get to hear of, did he? No, no, no. I got it. I got it. Hey, y'all already know about our Cummins Turbo Diesel giveaway, right? Check out the new giveaway.

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