How Did This Get Made? - An American Werewolf In Paris LIVE!

Episode Date: September 30, 2022

This week Jason, June, and Paul break down the 1997 horror-comedy sequel, An American Werewolf in Paris, live from the Winspear Opera House in Dallas. The crew dig into why the Eiffel Tower is the worst building for bungee jumping, how you determine a werewolf's gender (hint: examine the nipples), and the intricacies of boinking on Jim Morrison's grave. #JusticeforJulieBowen The HDTGM tour has been rescheduled! For tickets and info check out www.hdtgm.comFollow Paul on Letterboxd https://letterboxd.com/paulscheer/HDTGM Discord: discord.gg/hdtgmPaul’s Discord: https://discord.gg/paulscheerCheck out Paul and Rob Huebel live on Twitch (https://www.twitch.tv/friendzone) every Thursday 8-10pm ESTSubscribe to The Deep Dive with Jessica St. Clair and June Diane Raphael here: listen.earwolf.com/deepdiveSubscribe to Unspooled with Paul Scheer and Amy Nicholson here: listen.earwolf.com/unspooledCheck out The Jane Club over at www.janeclub.comCheck out new HDTGM merch over at https://www.teepublic.com/stores/hdtgmWhere to Find Jason, June & Paul:@PaulScheer on Instagram & Twitter@Junediane on IG and @MsJuneDiane on TwitterJason is Not on Twitter

Pop in your condom gum strap on your bungee cords and get ready to get laid on Jim Morrison's grave We saw an American werewolf in Paris, so you know what that means We saw an American werewolf in Paris, so you know what that means Hello people of Earth and hello people of Dallas We are here tonight to talk to you about the 1997 sequel An American werewolf in Paris, a lot of people say this might be the best sequel ever American werewolf in Paris, Godfather 2, aliens, that I believe is the order People ask us, why are you doing American werewolf in Paris in Dallas?

Well because we know there's a Paris, Texas They have their own Eiffel Tower And god damn it, I think the Paris here came first So there we go, that's why we're doing it, the other Paris stole from you What is this movie about? Well I'll tell you Tom Everett Scott is a daredevil on vacation slash daredevil tour He goes to Paris, he's not very lucky in love until he stops a girl from committing suicide Talk about a meat cute, finds out that she's a werewolf and then gets caught up in a lot of shenanigans

He also becomes a werewolf and his friends die, but we will break this down and so much more But first I must introduce you to my co-host Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Fresh out of quarantine, Jason Manzuke What's up jerks? That's right How we doing Dallas? Dallas? Oh boy, love these people wearing masks in the front row

Wouldn't it be great if we all wore masks? Oh that's right, I'm in Texas Jason, have you ever seen American Werewolf in London? No We were just saying backstage, shockingly one of the great kind of blind spots in my filmography I've never seen American Werewolf in London and it is, I know, beloved, you know Same here, so all three of us have not seen the original Oh boy

Here's the thing, neither have the people that made this film So we are in good company, clearly this is very much a sequel in kind of name only I mean it doesn't even have the Warren Zevon song in it He had Werewolf in London Is that what we think is like the most, without Warren Zevon? It's not canon Right now, we know that there's somebody out here who's an expert on a lot of things, from wigs To, you know, the proper way to do a lot of things

She's an expert and she probably knows a lot about Werewolves Please welcome my other co-host, June Diane Rayfield Welcome June, how are you? I'm good, how are you? I'm very well, thank you for asking You also haven't seen American Werewolf in London No, this was, oh, so much to say There is a lot in this movie that is bizarre, because on the surface

I would say on the surface, it could be a very good sequel, right? You got a great cast, Julie Delpy, Tom Everett Scott Julie Bowen A guy who seems to be like the 90s version of Ike Baronholtz? Yes, but however, just, I'm going to stop you right there Because I cannot, I cannot sit up here in a swivel chair And allow an applause break for Julie Bowen and not Julie Delpy Because she's, honestly, she's one of the greatest we have

And to see her this way Oh, but this is the beginning, this is the beginning I will tell you this And we know that, but I've always Truly a great And a great filmmaker as well That's exactly right We love her, and I will tell you this

We love her Watch the Richard Link letter before Sunset, and think of her as this character This isn't unspooled This isn't unspooled Yes, it makes it so much better if you think she's a fucking werewolf So when I was watching this on Amazon, I hit pause, but then you can hit trivia And the first piece of trivia that pops up is Julie Delpy is quoted as saying, she only did this for rent money

Isn't that so, what, didn't you just say, because we just did music from another room And didn't you say that Jude Law had a similar quote about, right? He was like, I did this as a money job I needed the money, and And honestly, that's fine I need the money too Are you going to be an American werewolf in Dallas? Happy to be, if anyone's casting

You should be a French werewolf in Dallas The werewolf goes out at night and is like, too humid, I'm going back in No, thank you, it is too hot here, your state is on fire I will say, to Dallas's credit, the werewolf's hair looks great Yeah, oh, the humidity is doing wonders for these girls I mean, I guess let's get into it, because once I realized that Julie Delpy was the werewolf I was so excited, and I was like, oh, this is so interesting I've never seen a female werewolf before, and I'm so intrigued

And then, when did it wear off? So, well, I actually want to start with Daredevil Tours Yes, me too I want to start with Daredevil Tom Everett's points We meet Tom Everett Scott on a train So, I might, first of all, did they make those teachers themselves? I guess they did

100% Of course they did Well, basically, he is traveling with one guy who was like Dan Cortez from MTV Sports So good Everybody laughing, you're old Everybody not laughing, who's like, who's Dan Cortez, you're young Enjoy it, why are you here, go party Enjoy your youth

But we have our Dan Cortez character and our Ike Baron Holtz But here's my question about this tour, this Daredevil tour The Dan Cortez guy is the only one who looks like he is an extreme sports guy The other two guys look like they're just like, Tom Everett Scott, are you a Daredevil? I don't think he's wearing a T-shirt When he's shirtless, he is scrawny, and I love it I love, and I love Tom Everett Scott, and he's doing, he's so good in this, and it's a blast But he is like a scrawny, skinny dude, and I'm like, on what planet are you like, we're going to scale the Eiffel Tower, we're going to bungee jump off of it

But here's my problem with his character, not him, I love him, I was obsessed with him as a young person I wish that he had been set up, because at the end of the movie, and just to jump ahead a little bit He jumps in when we get to sort of the cure for what's happening With a line where he says, why don't I take a crack at it? I want this down, yeah I want to talk about that for a second, because it made me angry It made me so angry, because I was like, my dude, like This, her stepbrother, Julie Delby's stepfather, who's a scientist and has degrees behind him

And even Julie Delby, who's had the experience of being in this situation, and is a nurse And he is, it seems like on a Eurorail pass, drip through, like on college semester abroad or something I feel like it's just spring break, is she a nurse or is she just in the hospital to steal hearts? Well, that actually is a good question It seems like to steal hearts, but she might have some sort of connection I believe that she's taking care of her dad who is legless, when I will say that when I saw that legless marital And you're saying who is legless, not legless Now I wouldn't like to see a legless legless

The movie wants you, the movie so deeply wants you to invest in their love story That you have to remember, both of them, by the end of the movie, are murderers They have committed multiple acts of murder of innocent people Now, I want to be clear with you, Tom Everett Scott's character, murders Julie Bowen Murders her, and at the end of the movie, is she released like his buddy Brad? No, she's trapped in some sort of hellscape limbo Because what, she just wanted to hang out with him and he turns into a werewolf, straight up kills her And then is like, but I found true love

No, but she's a woman who wants to have sex, so she got what she deserved as far as I'm concerned But I do want to talk about, because there were a couple of times where I was like, I think I'm getting a little mixed up between vampires and werewolves And what I know about vampires and what I know about werewolves Can I? Yes, go ahead I would like to say something to that There's no silver bullet, there's no other things For a movie that is about an iconic monster, there are shockingly no exposition dumps, no rules And also, none of the totemic issues about werewolves other than the full moon

Which they circumvent by being like, oh, we've got a thing that gives you an outbreak And it seems like, but there's, yeah, you're right, there's no silver bullets There's none of the iconic werewolf mythology is, is even explained to anybody No one even like attempts, no one even attempts to say, hey, in this world, these are our rules Because it's constantly changing And then, like at one point, I guess it's getting close to a full moon And Julie Depply is like super strong But then, she's not strong at all at the end, is that just because as it gets close to the full moon, it gets...

It gets stronger But after the full moon, I think you're just a normal person But if you take an antidepressant, you don't turn Wait, an antidepressant? Well, their dad gave her an antidepressant, and then she actually became a werewolf She's on a werewolf, Zola? She's not on Prozac, she's on a depressant Oh, depressant

I'm not an antidepressant There were so many things that it could have been, because it also started as a Cinderella analogy Like, he finds the glass slipper, he has the one shoe, he has to track her down and find her, and it's just your shoe And I was like, oh, are they gonna map a fairy tale thing onto this werewolf story? No, they're not But they will map some limb biscuit onto our little detective scenes I do want to play that, because at first I was like, there was a band that kind of sounded like limb biscuit And I was like, wow, I guess I couldn't afford limb biscuit

Little did I know, only two scenes later, they were like, now we can afford limb biscuit For the detective montage, which Ike Berenholdt says... Ike Berenholdt, can we cue that one up? When Ike Berenholdt says, he goes... Oh, not limb biscuit, smash mouth, that's what it was Sorry, they couldn't afford limb biscuit, they could afford smash mouth But they are both gonna be here at the county fair in one month Together, together at last

With 311, 311 And Incubus Oh my god But there was like... But there was something... That's what music was And everybody who cheered for Dan Cortez, you were like, I had those CDs! The best moment was when Fred Durst played rock and jock baseball

And totally hit the 100 home runs circle And they went up against LL Cool J's team Before he was an actor But there is a moment though, where the Ike Berenholdt's character says like Okay, Mrs. Marple And I was like, there's no way on hell the Daredevil club is quoting like the secondary Agatha Christie detective Also, is the burn that you're Miss Marple but married? I guess

Is the burn that you're like Mrs. Marple Well, that's what I couldn't understand about not just the rules of where rules in the movie But the rules of the Daredevil tours Because I'm like, what is it in this world of the film, of the motion picture What is it to be a Daredevil? You know, what is it? Is it just having sex? No, no, it's like the bungee jumping But that's fine

Sex points don't factor into Daredevil points Right, because one guy has a lot of sex points And that we know just because of life Of course But I guess what I'm saying is they're just horny Daredevils That's it That's the new Disney Plus series Featuring Matt Murdock

It ain't no joke that I am going to get laid here I'm gonna go down on Jim Marson's grave For sure, for sure That the Daredevils were gonna, the concept of being in the Daredevil tour group Was going to come back in some way that in order to fight the werewolves In order to become a werewolf But it does help suppress it What do you mean by that?

The end of the movie Come again? Well, I thought this was a pairing At the end of the movie, they jump off the statue of They jump off the statue at the wedding But that is to suppress the werewolf What? It is not

I'm pretty sure What the fuck are you talking about, buddy? That's how, wait, how do you think that was set up? You think that was set up? This is a wild day What are you talking about? He had already eaten the heart of the werewolf that killed him So he is no longer a werewolf And because he's no longer a werewolf, she's no longer a werewolf

No, why does she not be a werewolf? Because the same guy turned them both into werewolves Oh, I actually thought that he turned her Okay, yeah, but either way, they're no longer werewolves way before that bungee jump Because it is And we know that because it is He's spinning around Several moons later

Several moons later, they're getting married Two murderers Justice for Julie Bowen Honestly, Justice for Julie Bowen Justice for Julie Bowen Whose soul is forever undead? Well, as long as Tom Everett Scott is alive, yeah Yes, because she's trapped in some limbo

Brad gets to go to whatever But she rushes it, he's like, I gotta go, come on He's like, thanks, man, I'll talk to you later, bye! You know, it's fucked up It is fucked up And we can talk about it for conservatively six hours But boy, do I wish this movie had been told from the point of view of the guy named Chris The guy who was crucified?

Who's the guy who's crucified? Who's, who's, who's crucified? And remains on the cross! And, and please, please Oh, we gotta remember, we gotta, we haven't even talked about the fact that Not only are the bad guys werewolves, they're Nazi werewolves! They believe in the master race of Nazi werewolves This is some next level nonsense

It's not bad enough that they're like, we're werewolves They gotta be like, and we only believe in the purity of this race But they also only want to take the scumbags of the earth, right? Like they only want the bad people I think they want to chomp the bad They want to feast on the bad, but turn, go ahead Yeah, so feast on the bad to get their hearts So then they could turn into werewolves whenever, because werewolves, but then to live as werewolves seems not fun

Because you just, I don't know, they have raves all the time I mean, I guess, so I just want to go back for a second So you thought they were bungee jumping off the Statue of Liberty and during that jump I was googling it right now to see, yeah You thought that was because that meant that they would stave off a full moon werewolf You think Remus Lupin is out in these streets You think Remus Lupin is out in these streets being like, if I just bungee jump off of Hogwarts Off of the Owlry, they're like, am I gonna be okay?

It's so tough because I sit here, as I sit here tonight, you know I'm sure some of you can relate when you've been married to someone for a long time Jason, you wouldn't know about this But I'm sure I just saying you won't understand what I'm gonna say But when you've been with someone for a long time and then all of a sudden they do something or say something And you look at them and think, wow, I don't know you I don't know you at all You're brand new to me

Who are you? That's how I feel right now I thought that they were, you know what I forgot, I really didn't really take in that Tom Everett Scott eats that guy's heart Because you see him, when he murders him in the train, it's like, ahhh And then it's like blood You don't see it like, you're right But I think the connective tissue, you're absolutely right, you don't see that transactionally happening The connective tissue is he sees the scar And is like, oh, you're the one who bit me

So I know if I eat your heart, then that But I still want to see him bite the heart But here's, he does, babe, he does I was watching it on my eye watch So there, because there was some confusion, he thought Julie Delpy was the werewolf that bit him Yes, yes, I got that And he didn't want to kill her Because he loved her

Does she know in that moment that she's not the werewolf that bit him? Again, the movie does us no favors This movie is in, we talk so often about movies that are like laid, like that are leaden with exposition That have so much exposition that you're like, oh, this is insufferable This movie needed exposition because we did not, there were no, there were clearly rules at play That they were just like, oh, we're not going to touch it I mean, there's a moment in this movie where someone escapes from the police, Tom Everett Scott, by getting in like a morgue slab And it's like, those detectives saw the room with no windows

And they were standing in front of the door, they go like, let's open some of these doors up here This movie, here's what I had a question about We've done a terrible job, like talking about like the plot of the movie in a lot of ways So the Daredevil Club goes to the top of the Eiffel Tower in order to bungee jump off Tom Everett Scott's going to do it because he's behind in points and blah, blah, blah Julie Delpy goes off, she's going to commit suicide He jumps off, he saves her, he gets her shoe Wait, can we just watch that scene because this scene is amazing

This is the Eiffel Tower jump scene here Listen, wait, wait, don't, okay, nothing's that bad Nothing's that bad, hold it, no, no, no, no, no, please, let me help you Okay What a meet-cute And with that gawk on his head, we must ask a question that we never allow to be asked But is this entire thing a Jacob Leiter scenario? Because

I mean, it would make more sense that because here's the two things Here's the two things that would happen in this scene His leg would get ripped off immediately And when his friends are pulled to the railing, they would be pushed through it And like into mush Like nobody survives this Also, how does three dumb American college students get to the top? No fucking way

The way they pop up, like, doing? I'm just obsessed with how, and I've never bungee jumped, so I don't, I'm not an expert in that field Just that one But I'm like, when you jump off, and even if you're trying to get someone, the fact that Tom Everett's got, like, morphs his body into a Superman position He just knows what to do Yeah, it seems like he's been planning for this Also, are they traveling with bungee? Bungee, it's part of the Daredevil tour, you get it on the first day of Daredevil camp

A bungee cord, baggy shirts But the movie does no work to tell us that they are Daredevil The movie should have opened with, not them on the train, being like, how many Daredevil points do you have It should have opened with them doing a stunt Something that established them as They took the train Jason Point break level Like it should have, it should have started with like a point break style

Not only that Jason though, but what it should have done is set up Tom Everett Scott as the guy who's really uncomfortable doing this stuff The guy who doesn't want to do the scary stuff, doesn't, you know, like it and is super nerdy and bookish So that it makes sense when he says, let me give it a try or let me take a crack at it I'm still so mad at that That would be like me walking, it's so insulting on so many levels They don't even say he's a scientist, he has an interest in science, he does nothing I'm like, wow, the hubris, you know This woman's been a werewolf for a long time, she ate her parents

Yeah, here's the thing, nobody in this movie Understands what's happening in the movie Right, like absolutely staggering Life altering things happen to every character in this movie And they're like, instead of being like, oh my god, my friend just died Oh my god, I've been turned into a werewolf, they're like, do you like me? Like the movie wants to have it every way so that like there are like zero consequences Tom Everett Scott is bitten by a werewolf and is very obviously a werewolf

He's being told he's a werewolf and he's like, nah, come on And he does that for half an hour He will not accept reality, he is hungry for red meat This is when he meets Julie Bowen, he murders her And is still like, oh man, I gotta crush on this girl But there's no way I'm a werewolf, right? And that's another one of the rules I wanted to know more about Like when you're in your werewolf state, you know, do you remember that afterward?

Like is it? I think they are saying no Oh, so that actually makes me feel a little bit better Like he's not a murder, he's a dog, he's a straight-up dog So he doesn't remember killing her at all I don't think so And that's what he knows he did But that's what these people want the New World Order to be

Just a bunch of dogs running around, they're like, would it be great? No disease or would it be all dogs? Would it be great if we could commit random acts of murder and not have to feel at all emotionally invested in the actions that we did Hang on, we're living in that So I will say this, the movie doesn't know what tone it's supposed to be It's sometimes it's scary, sometimes it's scary, like sometimes it's scary Sometimes it's funny, but it's not really funny And then sometimes it's just like an MTV movie

Can I ask, to that point, can I ask a question of the audience? Because the three of us have not seen, admittedly, American Werewolf in London Is this the audience Q&A section? I just want to ask the audience, and this is dicey I want to ask the audience, like, that is a straight up horror movie, right? But it's American Werewolf in London But it's John Landis, it's funny those two But I mean, I'm sorry, what I mean to ask is, is there a romance inside of it?

Yes Oh, there is, okay, so this is, okay, got it, that's what I was wondering because this seemed to be so focused on their love story And not about the savage brutality of the Werewolf No, like John Landis, that's one of his classic films, even though I haven't seen it But the one thing I know about American Werewolf in London, this is the one thing When I was a kid, I would go to Walt Disney World in Universal Studios, no plus Okay, so, but they would always have Texas is like, fuck Disney

Schlitterbond, Schlitterbond is what you should be talking about So what are Kirk and Houston? But here is my thing that I knew, when I would go there with my dad, we would go to the horror stunt shows And it was like a family theme, like how they do movie magic and makeup and effects And the only movies that were available to show the effects were like R-rated films So my first experience with Scarface was at like, with a bunch of families in Orlando Going, and this is how Al Pacino shot a man in the face And they would play this scene where it's like, shut up, poof, blood

Never seen a man get his head blown off, and then the next scene Wait, that was at Disney? Universal, slightly cooler And then the other scene they would show is from American Werewolf in London So I want to just do one thing, because I think it's a perfect time to show it So let's watch the transformation from this movie, this is the transformation from this film So check it out So many nipples!

Alright, so that is the transformation in this movie Now the only thing I know about American Werewolf in London is every time you ever see a special effects documentary It is referenced, because what they are following is this transformation So I just want to show like, this is what they are duplicating And this makes me upset Okay, here we go You saw me standing alone Now that is a transformation

Now that is a transformation And for the one thing that we know from that movie is like, what an epic scene And we just get turning into a fucking straight up CGI like that I mean again, Paul, this isn't unspooled I just want to make sure you know that's not Amy and Nick I'm not quite in Tarantino But I'm just saying, the one thing that that movie is known for is this amazing transformation That looks so crazy and painful and they don't do

All he does is jump into a water fountain and come out like a clover field monster Like there's no like But also that piece of filmmaking, juxtaposing this horrible body horror kind of scenario against You Send Me Is like, that's interesting Like this movie is like, we're gonna play Smash Mouth And we're gonna have CGI wolves run around and chomp people And the thing about the CGI wolf, like the werewolves in this movie are so very wolf-like Like there's nothing about them that's really reminiscent of them ever being human

And I think that really hurt them You know, because we don't get to see We don't get any sense of their humanity, you mean? Well, yeah, but also, I think they would have been scarier in some ways had they looked more human Like they just look like crazy animals The other thing that I didn't know about werewolves is do they have heat vision like the predator Because whenever you get the werewolf to be okay, like they can see heat but everything seems to be heat Not just heat, but not just heat, also like in the case of Julie Bowen, her perfume

She spritzes her perfume around so that he will follow that She's being smart, she's like, he's tracking my scent And that's the thing is Tom Everett's got such to be able to hear better and smell better Julie Bowen is a tourist in Paris And she meets a guy at a thing who approaches her like a fucking maniac And she's like, I'm all in He has like steak, oil, and juices all over his face when he's talking to her He's chomping a steak note, like it is, my heart breaks for her

Justice again for Julie Bowen in this movie Justice for Julie Bowen And by the way, even after she dies, she continues to turn in maybe the best performance in the movie And I would say the most gross performance Except for Chris, who the minute he runs out still crucified I was like, guy, you win the movie Because that must have been hard I mean, can you even imagine having your arms out like that and running with a cross?

How many takes of that? It's a big scene, how many takes did they have to do where he was like, maybe can I have come off the cross? And they're like, no You carry it like Christ through the 12 stations I was a religion major Who are you? In the logic of this movie, Chris has been on that crucifix for two, three days And to be quite honest, this is what I didn't understand about those skinhead werewolves

I'm like, so from what I understand, once you become a werewolf, you have very little self-control In your wolf form Once you're a wolf, you need to get that meat But it did seem Another t-shirt idea That's a good idea That's a t-shirt You need to get that meat

Dallas, Texas Andy McDermott's steakhouse Need to get that meat But it seemed like those werewolves, skinhead Nazi werewolves Were able to really restrain themselves around Chris Even when they were werewolves Like, he wasn't interesting to them They didn't chomp him, they were

Ever I felt like that was only because they were using him as bait But that's, I guess, my question Once you're a werewolf, can you even think through bait? Well, here's the thing Oh, yeah, I think yes, they can when they're in their skinhead form Of course, but once they transform But what's interesting is Tom Everett Scott, again

Who is the loveliest and who is wonderful He couldn't give two shits about Chris or Brad Over and over again He saves himself at the expense of them He never says, Chris is still in there We gotta go get him He's like, where do I go? I'm outta here

I'm outta here My question is this So, and again, I apologize But I'm gonna go back to the beginning of the movie The scene we just watched Tom Everett Scott saves Julie Delpy from committing suicide By jumping off the Eiffel Tower Which, of course, happens all the time

He saves her life, she disappears Then he's in the hospital covered in clumsy bandages He sees her in the hospital He's like, hey, wait a minute And then she gets away And what are the odds? He would see her twice, okay? Next thing he says to his buddies

Did you find the note? And they're like, what note? He's like, her suicide note They leave, they come back with her suicide note Next thing you know, they're at her house Is her address on her suicide note? Wait, she's, dude, I can't go on I killed my parents, I feel so guilty

She might have wrote, and Legolas is in the basement Her name, the full address She might have been saying Legolas is in the basement Come rescue him because no one said they take care of him Yes, maybe that's it The thing that I found to be more preposterous was The way they went to go find the note Was to go through every garbage can within the area

And find anything written down They're like reading grocery lists Nope, nope Like, the chances of finding a suicide note And when he goes to meet her at her house Again, moments previous He was covered in bandages He's now wearing just a bandana

And not a bandana like this But a bandana like when I was in college Where, like, tucked in back here Yeah, it's like a do-rag Which I don't like to see white men wearing And I was like This is the impression you're gonna make Who was that rocker who had that VH1 show, right?

Vince Neil? Vince Neil, yeah, it's that Vince Neil style It was, and... No? Wait, what? Brett Michaels, thank you Brett Michaels, I apologize Watch this, watch this, watch this

This is what we'll do in the actual show You know, it reminded me of, like, Brett Michaels That's true Good one, Paul And I was never confused I was never confused by the ending We haven't talked about the condom chewing gum scene I got that too

Wait, should we just... As we're giving justice for Julie Bowen We have the scene queued up here I just want to watch a little bit of Julie Bowen Because this scene is wild And the way he approaches her Think of it as Jim Carrey from Ace Ventura Here we go

Like... Like, what? I want to be clear Again, this is such a sympathetic character Who is murdered The movie wants you to believe in the love story Of Tom Everett Scott and Julie Delpy so much Julie Delpy, again, the greatest

That they are, like, it is incidental That this woman alone in Paris Is murdered as a byproduct of their love story Well, listen It doesn't weigh on their conscience Not for a second By the way, I think that she should have been at the Statue of Liberty Because it seems like they're doomed to walk the earth

In slight step with the person that killed them So I think that that's a great sequel What I wrote here a number of times is Why not just explain what's happening? Yeah, what's the harm? Why not just say... Because people keep saying, like, what's going on? What is this? What's happening?

And people, like, don't worry about it It's nothing I think one of the reasons for it Is there are 14 credited screenwriters to this Oh... One of them being John Landis Who wrote the first one Didn't use a single word of it

And then the other guys who wrote the first draft Said there's only one joke left And I didn't even hear that joke that they said was left in here Wow It really is, like... There's a moment where Dan Cortez At the character Chris, the crucified Chris He's a Christ-like character

And who is... Whose body is fetishized to a degree throughout Where he is stripped down to his underwear He's in the prison that Julie Delpy has put herself in before And he wakes up like, huh, what are we doing here? What is everybody completely blasé About circumstances that are dot, dot, dot, insane? And he's like, huh, okay

And what a good job he does, he takes off all his clothes He gets the key to his cell, he opens it And there is a curtain off area Where monster noises are happening And he comes up to it and he goes Hey, you okay in there? My guy? No

Like some next level bad shit's going on Like, probably the guy or girl in there is not okay You should be wary Here's what there wasn't in this movie This movie should have had one character who was not in it Who is some grizzled old person Some grizzled old man or woman who's like The Van Helsing of this story

Who's like, okay What you're up against are werewolves They are vulnerable only to this, this and this They are the lineage of this These are the young ones They're arrogant and Nazis and blah, blah, blah But it's, you know, give me Chris Christofferson Or give me somebody, give me somebody in here

Who's like, here's what you need to know Then that person gets chomped Now I understand the lay of the land And we do too It's 1997, I'm bringing back the rockin' jock vibe Put Tone Locke in there and have Tone Locke be like Hey man, I'm gonna tell you what's going on So you want this to be a full blown rockin' jock cast?

Yeah, I want Tone Locke to be a bartender I serve him, but yeah, these werewolves are crazy You know, it's like, you gotta watch out for these werewolves He just works at the werewolf rave I work for him, I don't question him And that's a deal we make I keep the tips, they supply the liquor And that's like, we tell you the whole story

I want that kind of guy We needed, we needed a friar character For sure, but we only had 14 screenwriters We needed 15, I guess We needed one more But wait, the question that I asked I don't know if it's been answered by, except for the yelling Which is, could you tell the werewolves apart?

Oh, Heavens, no You could What? Whoever said yes is a fucking liar What? No There is nothing defining about these werewolves Except for this guy

A werewolf expert over here What are you seeing in them? I know, I know the difference How about when we don't Wait, wait, what is it? She has eight nipples, so you can tell the difference Nipples! He says that she has eight nipples

I will tell you right I stand corrected You are a smart person She does have a full-blown set of nipples So, Julie Bowen and Tom Everett Scott Are getting it on on Jim Morrison's grave He starts to become so hot Literally

Smoking hot So hot, and he flees and jumps in the fountain But he does explode then out of it in wolf form Julie Bowen, obviously terrified for her life Runs away, blah, blah, blah She manages to evade him And this is where the guy that I thought was going to be The Van Helsing type character, the French detective

Comes in and is like, I'm police, don't worry And she says, do we remember? Oh, you cured my hiccups What? She just saw a six-foot-two werewolf That she was fucking And chased her through a cemetery And her number one point of relief

Is that her hiccups are gone Thank you, sir You cured my hiccups That's why I'm saying I do think, again, justice for Julie Bowen And I do stand in solidarity Both of them and the guy's dog There is blood on his hands

They lift up that dog Oh my god, the dog The dog is Dunzo Okay, I have never I'm going to be honest I've never really seen a dead dog And I'm comfortable enough with you all to share that And that was very upsetting

The way they handled it The way they handled it was like And also the way it was splayed Splayed out It was like starfished out on the ground It was so terrible To me, it was like he ripped it open And it just stayed open

And again, the lead of the movie The man we're supposed to be rooting for Has done this Is responsible for that The guy that we're like Oh man, I just want them to make it work He fucking ended that But wait a second

Honestly though, justice for Julie Bowen But justice for that dog too Justice for that dog You know? But also You cured my hiccups Again, I cannot stress how preposterous That line is

But also justice for Tom Everett Scott Because he was just a daredevil on vacation Who gets bit No, no, I disagree And he becomes a fucking monster I disagree 100% So he should commit suicide?

Julie Delpy said No Over and over and over again Get the fuck out of here Get away from here Get out of here Be gone Your life is in danger

It's not safe And he was like I wanna fuck so bad I won't listen to women It was really I have no sympathy for him Really? And even beyond that, Jason

I'm like You make t-shirts with your friends About a daredevil tour Like whatever happens to you happens to you Like I don't I can't muster that I took more offense that Like he was like

I'm in love with her The suicidal woman who jumped out the Eiffel Tower Who's never even spoken a word She's like But my thing is My girl Like really? My thing is

She So they're at the rave The first Nazi werewolf rave Him and his buddies Claude has invited them He told them She's gonna be there Obviously she's not

Because they wanna chomp these guys She arrives And it's like Oh my god You gotta get out of here This is so dangerous Your life is in danger And he's like

What? Okay And the guys are like Okay, your girl's here Man, go on And Ike Barron-Holtz is like All right, bro And then

He's like I guess I'm going And then She's like You don't understand Your life is in danger And at no point does he like Oh, then let me go get my guys

Let me say But he's like Nobody believes Anybody And nobody believes when they're told That there is danger afoot They all think You're lying

Or I don't believe you Or my What I want matters more Wait My narrative trumps your reality And with that I'm gonna come to you For some questions

You got one? All right You come over to me All right First And give me your best wolf call And then Your question

Like I'll go Oh, I'm not like that Give me one of those Oh Amazing Now, what's your question? So In this movie

They tried to set Seraphine up As the good wolf That's her name Seraphine Because she gets her hearts From the hospital to her But she stole it Straight out of an open heart

Seraphine That was Oh, my God Oh, that's a good point God, that's a good point I assume she took the bad heart But I guess there's only one It wasn't necessarily a transfer

How funny would it be if they were like And will let me just get that Oh, wait a minute Well, that's what happened That you're right The surgeon's looking for Well, the surgeon comes out And he's like

I was doing this heart transplant Oh, that's right And somebody just took the heart Do you have you seen it? How is your day at work, babe? You know the weirdest thing happened Great question Wow

So, yeah, you're right Let's add that person to the death toll Because they're dead But anyway She's trying to be An ethical werewolf You know, she's trying to be like Which is hard

But no, that's somebody who's dead Like, oh, that's a rough one, though Somebody who's waited on a list for years For our heart transplant That somehow is better Well, listen This is a great spot To pause the podcast

And talk about donating our organs I'm signed up as an I'm dead fucking serious I'm dead serious Absolutely You gotta give them Gotta donate those organs I gotta get, you know

If she goes down Put a werewolf clause in there Say, I don't have it stolen by werewolves No, yes, yes I will donate my organs But not to werewolves To make heart smoothies All right

Your best werewolf call on your question Okay, it's Lindsay Ooh Nice Friends says weak Do it again It's like there was something you guys missed After like the whole sexy in the cemetery

Julie Bowen goes I just want someone to sleep in the wet spot And that was a real big Thank you so much Okay, we didn't miss it We didn't miss it We were trying to erase it from our mom Thank you so much

I wrote this down I wrote this down because this is a Joke construction Or a thing That is in so much of So much content of like Who's gonna sleep in the wet spot Does anybody hear

When's the last time anybody here ever was like Who's gonna sleep in the wet spot Or was like Or was like I guess I'm sleeping in the wet spot How many Raise your hand if you've recently had a wet spot This lady I'm not gonna lie

Put a towel down What? It just seemed like something the 90s Was very concerned about The 80s The 80s and 90s were obsessed with The wet spot as if it's like And the true absolute most disgusting piece

Of disrespect is I slept in the wet spot Or the greatest piece And you know what was great about him He slept in the wet spot And I'm like When's the last time you ever saw a wet spot Put a goddamn towel down

Like a fucking adult He was very upsetting I'm up in the Fort Balcony Honestly, like that Balcony Babe Oh, up there That Balcony Is full of wet spots

It's just like one giant wet spot The entire thing ends in a drain Your best werewolf call and your question That's Scooby-Doo And a matter of fact Let me get all of Balcony 4 to do a werewolf call One, two, three Alright, your question

Okay, so speaking of heights The geometry of the Eiffel Tower Has to be the worst building to bungee jump off Okay, this is great to know Break it down, why? It goes like this I mean like you fall That's the Eiffel Tower

It's not a straight jump I thought about that You would fall into the middle of the tower first You'd have to Because it expands out like a pyramid Yeah You would bounce off of multiple levels Especially because of the way he jumps off to get her

It's like jumping off a pyramid Yes It's like jumping off of Nicholas Cage's grave Or a tomb, whatever it is It's essentially a pyramid with a long top So you would die in the middle It has to Secondly, he has a piece of paper with

Mathematical equations which are wrong What was that? What was that? He has the gravity listed as 3 meters per second Which is just flat out wrong That's not You're telling me I'm so sorry, hang on

He has 9.8 meters per second You're telling me that Alright, Dallas By the way You're telling me that All of level four Yeah, finally, someone said it My point is

How are you that smart And are in balcony four These fucking morons knew how to get a seat early These dummies are like, I don't know Werewolves And you're like The measure of gravity per second is And you're like

But I'm one and one fourths mile away from the show Jason, Jim Yes, Paul We had opinions about this film But there are people out there with a different opinion It is now time for second opinions He met Sarah Fee Not at all

Moon on Rouge No, but jumping off the Eiffel Tower Boy, took a leap He grabbed her by the feet Yeah Give me, give me five stars You know I love a real green screen Give me, give me bad CGI

Did you see the boobs on Sarah Fee Amazing Who's Shelby? What's your name? She's at it Shelby Shelby, everybody Amazing, Shelby

She's too cute And for those of you listening at home You just heard a great song While we heard 46 of them All over a minute No And some of them weren't songs At all

They were just things that happened to us These are five star reviews Called from Amazon.com There are 249 total reviews 63% are five star That's it 63% Wow

And this one goes This one is written in 2020 by Jay West And it starts off like this I thought this was just as good as the original But it doesn't surpass it though I love the hilarious scenes When Andy ate the condom And blew it like a balloon

And it landed in a guy's soup And then when Andy found out that Sarah Fee Was in the hospital And he talks like in a funny voice I thought that when Sarah Fee Jumped on Andy in her bed And took off her shirt And showed her boobs

Was a good scene The effects of the werewolf Looked totally real The storyline was a lot different Than the original I'm glad they went a different direction It would have been boring If the director went in the same direction

Like the original The acting was hilarious And good too Great performances And roles by Tom Everett Scott Julie Bowen and Julie Delpy I recommend it If you love werewolves

Five stars The greatest remake To the original But he also calls it a sequel And I think it is a sequel Because I believe that Julie Delpy Is the daughter of the people in the first movie Anyway, that's what that's about

Oh, is that right? Oh, okay Right here, Grant jumps right in And goes, hey I'm looking for a werewolf movie That has lots of blood Killing And turning other people into werewolves

Watching the people turn And a lot of other monsters Slash demons or vampires Are in the movie too If you know a movie that's like that Email me At At excite.com

Wow, he doesn't want to just do Be a don't We're going to edit that out But also Like Doesn't want to rely on a Google search Or anything I mean, imagine if

Huh Imagine if this was the movie That may That introduced you to werewolves So much that you wanted More of it Those are some second opinions Jason, June, would you recommend this film?

Yes I would because We've watched so many terrible movies And to me this was not a difficult watch And it was Engaging to me And I did enjoy some of the Bits and the bobs of comedy in there

And I love Julie Delpy I mean, I watch her do anything You know I agree I agree And not just Julie Delpy I will say this movie is I mean

Straight up bananas obviously And there's a lot in it That truly as we've talked about tonight Just makes no sense And if you are looking to try and track A plot or a story Or understand why And what the rules of this story are

You're going to be disappointed But A, the fact that they're in Paris Great And the fact that it is Tom Everett Scott Julie Delpy Julie Bowen

People who are like Carrying this movie Like Tom Everett Scott is doing Incredible work For a man who is Inside of a movie where he's like Wouldn't I be upset that Like my best friend just died

And that I've murdered people And they're like No, no, no, no You just still like the girl And he's like Alright And he does it He does it

And he makes you believe it My only regret truly Is that I had not seen the first movie And I feel like I would have enjoyed it Truly even more Had I known what Yeah

What Paul knew As a Scholar of the first movie That's like saying You would have enjoyed Godfather 3 If you saw Godfather 2 and 1 And I don't think that

That's necessarily true Because It is It is It's tangential It's like Again, I've not seen the first movie But it's not about

I think it stands on its own Two feet as a remake And a sequel I would have loved Is it at the same beat To the first movie kind of? Yeah And no

That's a good response I would have loved There was What I liked about this movie was Everything we were shown I was on board for But whether it be Julie Bowen

Or Chris Who is Christ on the Cross Or Or Dead Brad I could have watched a movie In which any of them Were the lead characters This movie was fascinating

Let me just say I liked this movie I didn't love this movie But I found myself Engaged by it Because of the three actors Were you engaged to it? Well, as I proposed to June

When we jumped off the Champs Elysees It was very similar I thought that No, I thought it was fun And I actually thought That I wanted more of The Julie Bowen

When she was a creature And she was screaming And blood was coming out And her eye popped out I was like Because she was doing bits Yeah She was in a different movie

Frankly, one that I suspect I would have liked more And that seems like More like the first movie, right? Ask yourself, buddy Well, I will say Even based on what we saw From this clip you played

The first movie has a more A lighter touch Yes You know, and Julie Bowen's Performance works inside of that It's like she saw the first movie She's like, oh, we're doing that, right? And then they're like, sure

Now, that's it Jason, what do you want to plug? I will plug the Amazon Prime Show Paper Girls A phenomenal show Based on the Brian K. Vaughn Cliff Chang comic book It is so fun

It is incredibly compelling All of these young actors Are absolutely fantastic And if you stick around Through the show, guess what? I'm goddamn in it So, Julie I'm doing a couple of episodes

Of Phoebe Robinson's show Everything is Trash on Freeform And I think the last two episodes I made are coming up pretty soon But if you haven't seen it, check it out This summer on Unspooled We're doing a whole series about We're doing a whole series about

Heroes and villains We've done movies like Robocop And Fatal Attraction And then Quentin Tarantino Just came on last week On the show And we talked about Richard Lester's Three Musketeers, which is super fun

And then every Thursday for free Rob Hubel and I do a show online Called Thursdays with Rob and Paul Also, next week Star Trek Lower Decks comes out And that is streaming without commercials You know what? I'm going to throw it If you're going to watch

Star Trek Lower Decks is incredible And it was one of my all-time favorite shows Of the last few years I'm also in Star Trek Prodigy I'm going to throw that out And it's also fantastic Thank you so much for coming Thank you to the staff here

Thank you to our stage manager Thank you to our tech people Thank you to everybody here Thank you for coming We'll be back again We'll see you next time