How Did This Get Made? - Babes in Toyland LIVE! (HDTGM Matinee)

Episode Date: December 23, 2025

Fire up your Suzuki Sidekicks 'cause Paul, Jason, and June are covering the 1986 made-for-TV Christmas musical Babes in Toyland starring Keanu Reeves and Drew Barrymore. LIVE from Largo for the first time post-pandemic, Jason puts Cincinnati on blast, Paul digs into the Georgie Porgie mythos, and we have a very special Second Opinions guest that blows June’s mind. (Ep. #283 Originally Released 12/30/2021) • Go to hdtgm.com for tour dates, merch, FAQs, and more• Have a Last Looks correction or omission? Call 619-PAULASK to leave us a voicemail!• Submit your Last Looks theme song to us here• Join the HDTGM conversation on Discord: discord.gg/hdtgm• Buy merch at howdidthisgetmade.dashery.com/• Order Paul’s book about his childhood: Joyful Recollections of Trauma• Shop our new hat collection at podswag.com• Paul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheer• Paul’s YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheer• Follow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer• Subscribe to Enter The Dark Web w/ Paul & Rob Huebel: youtube.com/@enterthedarkweb• Listen to Unspooled with Paul & Amy Nicholson: unspooledpodcast.com• Listen to The Deep Dive with June & Jessica St. Clair: thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcast• Instagram: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & @junediane• Twitter: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & msjunediane  • Jason is not on social media• Episode transcripts available at how-did-this-get-made.simplecast.com/episodesGet access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using the link: siriusxm.com/hdtgm Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Tighten the hatches on your jeeps soft top because kids are going flying. We saw babes in Toyland, so you know what that means. Ska! How did it just get me? Radio score! Howdy? Suconated world baby in his belly,

like a wild stove vest, whipin just into Kelly. A man you see a burl at show with dick a phone. Indecoble speed to hitting groups control. Jay Lynn, Big Paul in the booths of June Gonna take you from the pool all the way with the road Rainer in the street body helps you blow off steam

Just a sucker punch the odd light for tipping to gray. Shott Miller, Demick, how he's standing alive. They call me when you're bad ass and he's on the line. Cranking 88 minutes cause they cool as high cause a bad Jim Farnie looking kind and nice. Paul is June getting littered, when Jason is getting laid. June is making sure all the monkey shots get paid.

There's just a bunch of movies while they're making the grade. Here's a real question on you, how did this get paid? Hello people of her! And hello people of Los Angeles! We are back. We are back live at Largo. Holy shit. It has been far too long,

and we cannot wait to talk about tonight's movie, which is the biggest piece of Cincinnati propaganda. ever produced. Lenny Riefenstahl would look at this and say, wow, how can I get on this train? This movie, Babes and Toyland, Keanu Reeves, Drew Barremore,

Richard Mulligan, Ellen Burstyn, all came together for a TV movie in 1986 that real Ellen Brennan. But it should have been Ellen Burstyn. Eileen, Eileen Brennan. And that was a trick because I wanted to see you saw the fucking movie.

And you proved to me that you are worth being the first live audience we've had back. So thank you. If I did that at home on one of our Zoom recordings, I would have gone in, I would have sniffed it out, it would look smart. Here I will look dumb. I'll still cut that out.

But you got to see me vulnerable. What is Babes in Toyland about? If you've not seen Babes in Toyland, it's simple. It's the Wizard of Oz, kind of, with like weird adult men wanting to marry teenage girls, creatures, and Pat Marita. It's hard to really parse,

but we will try to, our best to break it down, and I can't think of two people to break it down better than my co-host. So please welcome Mr. Jason Manzoukis. What's up, jerks! How are we doing, Los Angeles? I missed you. But boy, do I wish we weren't here together in the same room? Because I don't know.

what you've been doing, but I suspect it's risky. I will let you know most of the audience are players for the Chicago Bulls, so that is tricky. A lot of them are in quarantine. That's why they're here tonight.

Huge stuff. Guys, holy shit. This is sucks. Jason, I don't know if you noticed, but when I even did my pre-show ritual, I went over to your chair and then immediately you realized and didn't touch a thing.

Thank you. I'm so excited to have you back, Jason, but we could not do this show without my other co-host. Please welcome to the stage. Miss June, Diane Rayfio! Wow. How are you, June?

I'm doing well. How are you, Paul? I'm doing fine. Thank you so much for asking. I just like to say, at that live show that Jason's talking about, I, he was so sick. So sick. So sick that I said, I will not be sharing a hotel room with you. And so June and I had to share a hotel room.

Didn't see another way. I didn't see another solution. I slept great. So. Okay, let me just say, this is really overwhelming. and I may cry. Yeah. So, just so everybody is comfortable with that.

Yeah, I just might cry a few times. You know, I hate every single one of you? I don't like it here. And I don't want to be here, but I still. I am thrilled you're here, and I love every single one of you. We are so happy, so happy to be back. And I will say that June, I know how you watch this movie. Would you like to share with the audience?

Where you watched it and how? Well, I have a bone to pick. Okay. So I don't, I never know what the movie is going to be until literally moments before my eyes fall on it. Now I did ask this morning. She will turn to me as the credits are rolling. She's like, what is this?

That's my process. And this morning I said to Paul, what are we watching? And with sort of like, oh God, what do I have to do? That kind of tone. and you said, oh, you're going to love it. It's a Christmas movie. Amen.

I stand by that comment. No, this is not a Christmas movie. This is not a Christmas movie. It is. This is a Christmas nightmare? This is. This is like a haunting fable of, I mean, like, I'm almost positive in the opening scene

Drew Bermere's character perishes. Yes. I mean, if there is ever a time for a Jacobs Ladder scenario, I mean, this is it. I hesitated to say it, but it is absolutely this one. is 100% of Jacob's Ladder scenario. Here's, I just want to correct one thing

that Paul, you said earlier and that Keanu Reeves, my dear, dear friend from John Wick, Chapter 3, Parabellum. TikTok, Mr. Wick, TikTok, Mr. Wick. TikTok. Misidentified.

He says he has a Jeep. You said he has a Jeep. This motherfucker's driving a Suzuki sidekick. Wow. Now, if you're wondering, why Drew Barremor plummets out the back of the sidekick.

It's because it's a Suzuki sidekick. You still got to buckle up. But back in 86, they didn't care about seatbelt. As long as you had a sled in the car, you were fine. Thank God for that sled.

Imagine what would have happened. If she just plummeted out the back, no sled. I will say this. RIP. This movie, is a TV movie, a made for TV film. Oh, okay.

And it starts off in every, I think, every shitty diner painting that I've ever seen. For me, I will say, for me, it started with me going to the website for toys in Babeland. Well, that is going to give you some different stuff. Which was a very different thing.

I bought a bunch of dildos. No, okay. Well, I... Were they made by the toy maker? Yep. Pat Marita. Put some eyes on it. Put some eyes on that dildo.

All the dildos and vibrators have eyes, and if you crank them, they do stuff. And he signs them, like a cabbage patch kid. That's nice. Yes. So I watched this movie, so I sit to Paul, it's... Oh, and I got really excited. I thought, oh, it's a Christmas movie. I mean, I'm an actor in a Christmas movie, so that's...

Eight-bit Christmas. And in my genre. You know, I'm a holiday actor. So I can connect. By the way, congrats. Thank you. Like I, again, we've stated it before and we'll state it again. We want access.

Give us the keys to the kingdom. In there. Let us make a Christmas movie. Yeah. As a holiday actor, I felt like, oh, this is my genre. And it's a genre. I love, love, love, love. So I was looking forward to it.

You and I are watching these on our free time for fun. Absolutely. But on a Christmas movie every night. about one that I was like, do we need to switch the movie for what you're telling me? I knew that we shouldn't because you all have prepared properly, but the movie that we watched was with Melissa Joan Hart as a podcaster, and she runs into Luke Perry. No. That was almost as RIP and that was almost as bad as Ellen Burst.

Yesterday. That doesn't mean that Luke Perry says it doing this. Jason Priestley. Jason Priestley. Ellen Burst and Jason Priestley When you said Ellen Burstin, both June and I recoiled them. I love them both, but I mean, that's Eileen Brennan. All I can think of is Ellen Burstyn in Private Benjamin.

Oh, God. What a different movie. What a different movie. But also as a Jason Priestley gal myself, I always preferred him to Luke Perry. That just hurts. Got it. I'm so sorry. You loved the priest?

Yes. Yes. Um, but so I, I said to Paul, okay, it's a Christmas movie. I'm excited to see it. And then I had to take our oldest son to a basketball practice. And we drop them off, him and his friend. And now I go back to the car. Now, the only spot I had was at the entrance of the bass, like every parent, every person has to walk through. And it's brightly lit where I'm parked. And I have to watch this movie on an iPad. And I'm saying, and I'm sitting in the front seat, watching this movie, and it's propped up against the wheel, and I'm furiously taking notes, and I thought, I'm going to be reported to the authorities. There's no way that I get out of this

without someone putting me on some sort of a list. And rightfully so. Absolutely. Can you imagine if it was me? Imagine me in my car with something that we all know contains a camera pointing out the windshield. while I furiously take notes in my... I will still say that I watched... Pausing, writing, pausing, writing.

I still live in fear from the time that we were on tour in New York. I had to watch Master of Disguise, the great Dana Carvey vehicle, and I was watching the Turtle Club. In a children's museum, while my children played with their grandfather, I was in the corner with a laptop. watching a Dana Carvey movie

like, ah, yes. Like, what is this? What's particularly weird is you could get away with watching that movie with your kids and look normal. Yes. But to be in a children's environment

without kids, but watching a kid's movie is a lure. Yes. It basically saying, what's over here? Well, the other thing for me... Disguise family.

Yes, is I was facing the auditorium. So all the other parents are propped up watching their kids play except for me. And I look like I'm making the choice like, oh, I don't want to watch my kid. Like, I want to be here with this. Yeah. And if somebody were to walk and see what,

you might be like, what's going on? And you're like, before I got to watch the succession finale. It's not the finale of succession. But to be, if someone were to walk around and be like, what the fuck are you watching? It's only 10 more days till Christmas. We've got to get my Christmas on. Got to get through these.

Watching the car chase of them driving in circles? I mean, you'd be like... Have you seen what she's watched? Get a load of the... You know the other people there are like, get a load of this? I felt truly insane. Well, this movie is... This movie surprised me in many levels because...

Not me. First of all... Start to finish. I was like, I get it. It makes total sense. I will tell you... When I saw Pat Marita as the Toy Master, I was like, that's a movie I do want to see.

And that could be a horror movie. I'm down for an evil Pat Marita. But no, he's a lovely, lovely man in this film. What made you think he was evil? Just the toy master sounded very evil. Like, oh, I make a jack in the box. It's a drill. Is he the toy maker?

He was the toy master. Yes. One thing I got right about this credits. I just had a super quick question. Where was Drew Barrettmore's family from? Oh, I don't have that in my notes. Maybe Nate Kylie gave some notes. That would have helped me understand the movie better.

If I understood via both dialogue and maybe even original song, where these motherfuckers were from? I think I might have something here to help us. This is a clip from the movie. Let's see if this helps. This is going to be the best Christmas in the history of the world. It's not. Right here.

Cincinnati welcome to glorious Cincinnati no queen of Ohio's Alpine Ski Resorts no boo I come from C-I-N-C-I-N-A-T-I-C-I-T-I-C-I-C-I-C-I-C-N-E the best town in O-E-O-I-O-I-U-SA at first they called it SINCY but CINCINCY is so nati they named it Cincinnati Suzuki Suzuki the girls are pretty pretty in this pretty little city The bellers are the feistyest I've seen Lock it down. When it comes the ballsies,

the red and the fangle small teeth They're not the sacks are baltis on the green I mean true are usually and defensible The facts are common sensible To sin is Invincible I know what I eat Since he's born a beauty daddy

What? Another verse? Now, here's the thing about that number. What? More? The city doesn't warrant that many verses. I have a thing with Philadelphia. We now have a thing with Cincinnati.

Jason, you have just put Cincinnati on blast. Listen, I'm putting Cincinnati and all of Canada on blast. Not interested. There is a moment, though, in that thing and re-watching it, where, first of all, the driving in this movie is a, amazing because not only are they driving like the worst fake driving where it's like left right left right but they're also pushing the car back and forth like a star trek episode so if a car was driving like this it would be in an accident well also during a blizzard and he

keeps going up through the he's driving a manual drive up through the gears he should be in second gear going so slow right now but as the song picks up tempo he's like Gotta drive faster, gotta drive faster. Driving so fast that the little girl dies. Driving so fast, I can't stop driving fast. Cincinnati has the most dead kids. That's the fact. Look it up.

It's because of the songs that we sing while we drive. This is what's killing all our children. It does seem because they have all those looks to each other. Yes. In that scene, like, we're going to do this. We're going to finish the song. We need the blood from an 11-year-old kid. Wait, so there's something here that I thought was so interesting

is in that moment where they're singing, Keanu looks like he's lost control of the car. And now, only moments later, a girl shoots out the back of that game. Because he does lose control. But in that moment, why I guess he had one more verse before she could shoot out, I mean. And I'll be honest with you. And I, because much like June, I had zero reference. I had no idea.

I just was given a title and a link. Boom. You, Ellen Burst and was in it. I was like, Burst, baby, burst, give it to me. I heard it's a prequel for Requiem. I was like, wait, are you telling me the star of Empty Nest and Golden Girls is in this? I'm hardcore in.

Anyway, regardless, I put it on, and I'm watching the movie, and then this happens, and I'm like, I write in my notes, hang on, is this a fucking musical? And then I watch the movie. The rest of the movie, and I'm not sure. Yeah. This movie has too few songs to be a musical, but too many songs to be a movie. There is, okay.

There's like three and a half songs. The original cut of the movie was 145 minutes. How long is this? Ninety-four. Okay. So. Okay. Wow.

And the rest was songs. Clearly the rest was songs that they were like, we got to get rid of this. Well, by the way, the biggest mistake of this movie was they hired people that were terrible singers. Like, there's not, they're like even... What his sister was a good singer? I mean, what's concerning about that,

I don't think the sister's job, but everybody else is. But what's concerning about that, his singing is... Okay, but by a bad singer. Well, I don't think... When you said TV movie, I think that answers your question. Yeah. But it's concerning because it makes me think, like, oh, they left, these are the best songs that they left in?

Can you imagine? This is what we had to keep? Can you imagine what was cut from this movie? Two songs, one song called It's the Feeling, and another song called We'll Think of Something. Which might as well be, that is like the truth, that is speaking truth inside of the movie. By the way, also...

Like, what's the movie? I don't know. We'll think of something. I mean, by the way, this movie was shot all in Germany. But all the songs written by Steven Sondheim RIP. But it is based on a 1903 operetta. Babes and Toyland is an opera. And there isn't another movie called Babes and Toyland.

No other movie. No, I'm just joking. Of course. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. Like, in that version, are all of those songs in there? Well, this seems to be like a take on it. Like, it's like... So this isn't like...

Like a remake of that movie, or is it? It is a remake. It is, okay, I didn't know that. I think Toy Soul- I didn't know if they shared a title. Here's something I don't know anything about, but I'm going to be very actively saying that I do. I think Toy Soldiers are definitely in the other babes in Toyland,

but I don't think, like, Mother Hubbard's, like, shoe is in that. So you think everything's the same but the shoe? Everything's the same, but the shoe is not in. think it was they moved in like some like they, I think they, am I right in this, that they moved in like the fairy tales like the Humpty Dumpty and stuff like that or is that in the old one too? It's

in the old one. It's in the old one. The 20s called March of the Wooden Soldiers that has all of that same crack. Okay. So apparently. So apparently there's a movie with Laurel and Hardy. Escort that man out, please. Well,

what's so disappointing about this, I mean, this is a wizard of of Oz, because what's so disappointing is that the characters that we meet in the beginning and their character traits have nothing to do with the fairy tale characters, honestly, with the exception of the woman in the shoe

and her lists, they have nothing to do. The only relation that I didn't truly did not understand until the very end of the movie is that Drew Barrymore's character is meant to have kind of renounced childhood. And so, Toy.

Right. because she's cooking in the beginning. She's making dinner. Don't worry. I'm making dinner. She's taking care of things. She has kind of renounced childhood and is living as a, like an adult, an adult life.

It would be so weird to state that in the beginning. It is. Well, I mean, that was, yeah, that was interesting. But I felt like they didn't really state it that much because she was acting like a kid. But that's why I feel like Toyland was this, you know. This also gave me real for comic book nerds here. Fables, Bill Langeham's,

fables, this was like very in that world that I was like, ooh, a world that you go to where the fables are actually exist, where all the kind of storybook characters live together in a town? But she seemingly didn't know any of those stories. It wasn't like, oh my God, Humpty Dumpty.

They just introduced her to people. This motherfucker-dumpty. You don't put a giant egg in a movie, okay? Unless he's going to fall off that wall. And crack. They show him twice.

Yeah. He never falls. I thought for sure in the fight sequence at the end, we were going to watch him. And all the king's soldiers and all the king's men would try and put him back together. But they didn't. I want that egg dead. In the 145 minute long version, that's a 30 minute sequence. Maybe that's what they thought.

Here's what's so weird, though, about the basic premises of the movie. So, yeah, it is about this girl who is sort of a little mother in the house and doesn't have any interest in toys and doesn't. want this sled that her older sister's getting her for Christmas because she doesn't really know how to play with her. She doesn't want kids stuff. I thought that the sled was shitty. No, Paul.

No, I think she doesn't want kids stuff. Oh, I was like, I wouldn't want a sled either. It's just like, you're not going to like it because she says something like, you're not going to like it because it's fun or something like it. Oh, I thought she was like, I got you a, it was like the equivalent of like socks. I don't think so. Like, who wants a sled? What?

Like, I want a sled. You want a sled? You want a sled? You want a sled? I like a sled right now. You want, like, as a kid, you're like, here's a sled. Yes, Paul. You need to go to Toiland.

What are you talking about? Yeah, of course. What did you want? A sled is a gift that you get, that you get, like, the normal part of the year. Wait, I don't give that to me as a gift. You're getting gifts during the normal part of the year? Wow, wow, wow. Hey, I'm like, hey, I was back to the sled.

We'll go sledding. A sled is like, like, you're like, you're like, you're like, You don't go like, here's your Christmas gift is a sled. I'll be honest. What? I am blown away right now. There's actually like nothing that's more fun and childlike and free than... And more of the season.

Yeah. I mean, if you're, especially where we all grew up. You want to get one in summertime? There's snow on the ground. Oh, here's your Fourth of July sled. It's like... Enjoy America's independence. It's like getting a pool floaty for Christmas.

Like, hey. It's not at all like that. There's a blizzard in this town. It could literally go outside. What are you talking about? The sled is immediate use. You can use it immediately. She didn't know it.

She didn't know what a sled was. No, she didn't know there was going to be a big storm. It was a freak disaster. They live in Sintzy, baby. Of course there is. Possibly else. And then there should be a lyric. Because Sincy is so snowy you need.

They go fucking sled. You know, like they should have that line. I think honestly, this pandemic is a, affected us all in different ways. Of all the things you could disagree with, a sled being a good Christmas present is the worst take of all. It's 86.

Get me one of those Nintendo robots and do the fucking thing. Get me a Roby Robot. Get you a Roby? Wow, look at you. Because you're like, I can get a sled any time I want. Oh, big deal.

You got me a sled. Thank you. Whoa. I feel like you're talking about a sled as though it's like hardware or something. Yes. It's like a vacuum. It's like a tool.

I got you a dustbuster. Here's a deal, people. Here's the deal, okay. I was what I would say about the premise of the movie. So I think we are in the world of the movie, we're supposed to think that sled is a great joyful gift for a child. A child that is predisposed to think, in Paul's thinking, it's not that good of a gift. Yes.

That's what the sister is. Now, I will say I share some similarities at Drew Barrymore's character. Well, I know, and this is going to get real dark, so get ready. By the way, two harrowing childhoods. Yes. The details will haunt you. That is a show. They will haunt you.

That is a, I want that, I will come and sit right there for you and Drew Barrymore on this stage trading childhood stories. That's the show. But my point is, you know, it's just got picked up by Quibi. The RIP. Just find out Quibby. RIP. anymore. By the way, I only realized halfway through the pandemic that it stood for quick bites. That was, and when that realization hit, well, true, I mean, I got to just, if we talk about it,

I got to just say the original name was Omacasa, which to me is, like, can you imagine? Can you imagine? You watching that new show on Omicasa? What? Oh, yeah. I'm, I'm in, yeah, oh, the, oh, the sushi sample platter that the chef's chef's choice. of sushi? Okay. To go back to the movie. So we are meant to believe

that she doesn't she doesn't really experience joy with toys and she's not really she's really big on telling people she's 11,

she's not a kid anymore and then... She answers the phone she's making dinner she's lit like a noir film there's one moment where you see her where it's just like

this isn't unspool Okay, not Amy Nicholson. We don't need to hear about noir. Oh, the lighting was just like a noir film. He reminded me of double indemnity. Now, in color, you can have people. Ryan Johnson. I think when Howard Hawks.

By the end of the movie, you know, the lesson is that she has to believe in toys again. Yes. And believe in the magic of childhood. Okay, but my issue with that is like, well, the fact that she doesn't and the fact that she's older for her age, inappropriately so, and called on to be this adult in the house. Paul, you're going to reveal too much about yourself. I mean, I thought that at 11 is not that. I mean, that's an indictment on the parents in the home.

Absolutely. That is not her fault. So to require that she believed. No, no, that's a case. No. Applaud. Applaud. No, I think I...

Where's the dad? Absolutely right. The dad is absentee. I assume they were divorced or that he was dead. Yeah. But the dad is not present. The mom is not engaged. Though sister has to go to work and Drew is doing the lion's share of work.

Happily so. When the sister walks out of the house into a fucking blizzard with just a neon pink... In a fucking killer outfit. Okay, we need to carve out the next two hours to talk about that outfit. It's like a beret, it's a pink jacket, it's nuts level stuff. It's a square. It's the widest jacket I've ever seen in my life. It's a jacket that looks like a vagina with her head as the clitoris. And it's also, and then the plastic thing.

That might have been on the Toys and Babeland side. Sorry. I might have been looking at a different thing. But the sister, the sister works seemingly, like at a, like at a five and dime, right? They call it a five and dime, but it also says toys outside, so it's, it seemed like a five and dime toy store? I mean, my favorite moment is Richard Muggan, who I think is a great actor. So funny. He comes and he's like, I told you to push the bears. And she's like, I work in customer service.

Like he's, like he's in a mammoth. Like he's doing Mammoth. doing, yeah. He's like, push the fucking bears. The motherfucking bears is what you need to push. I gave you the bear leads. Sell these fucking bears. Sell these bears.

I couldn't tell if it was Christmas Eve. It was Christmas Eve. I mean, I was so shocked. My entire personality is pretty much based on Golden Girls and Empty Nest. Just those two shows I've been created from. I watch them every night back to back. Wow. Oh, obsessed.

Wait, what about Love Boat, which came on next? I don't think I could stay up for this. That's where I'm older than you. Yes. Because I watched those as well, straight into love boat. Yeah, I could not go to love boat, yeah. I stopped there, but I loved him so much. I love that character so much.

To see him this way was pretty shocking for me. Well, I mean, he is, I thought he was great. Don't get me wrong. He is doing, and, yeah, and for somebody who is not a great singer, I appreciated his song. What was his song? Oh, yeah. Let's time. Well, here we go.

This song. Refresher, a monster piece? Here we go. Let's take a... Oh, yeah, that's right. Here we go, here we go. This is very dark crystal. I'm going to share with you, dear boy.

The evil scheme that fills my heart with joy. Its evil theme will never cease. Because I have created a monster piece. I put in years of toil and strife. It feels like the music isn't even sure it's a song. I agree. It's like the people that are playing are like, I guess he's singing. Okay, we're going to.

There's never, like, it never opens up. The songs never open. The songs do not further the plot at all, which all musical songs should. They should give you more access, more. I mean, we basically get a song that is just about Cincinnati. Yeah. And then, Monsterpiece. And then that, and then the other, there's another one that I don't even remember.

And they're all kind of talked. Like they're, they never start. Well, when they go to dub, like I go back to Pat Marita, when they go to dub his singing voice, I'm like, well, now it will be a good one. And it felt like someone doing an impression of a bad Pat Marita's singing voice. It's like, oh yeah, I bet he's not a good singer. I'll do that. Yeah.

Nobody, I mean, I felt like everybody, I don't, I mean, I'm not even sure that was his singing voice, to be quite honest. That feels like right. I don't know. I assumed everybody was dubbed in. this just because so many people seem to be being dubbed. Kiano is dubbed, for sure. Yes.

Drew Baramore is definitely dubbed. I mean, they go to this world. I mean, I want to talk about this world because we've been talking about Toyland. Toyland, which is the most monstrous place that you could ever possibly go. This is like a Wizard of, like you said, it's the Wizard of Oz, except that instead of going to a fantastical world of Oz, she goes into a nightmare scape of toys, of storybook characters come to life. which are just this. And by the way, this is like a bear out of Wicker Man.

This bear is scary. Everybody's wearing like Sesame Street level costumes. You can frequently see the seams between their necks. You can frequently see human necks. It is... There's a lot of law enforcement in this town that don't seem to be doing much. This is chill. That frog is chilling.

We just saw before, too, like some of the characters are, giving the physicality of like bears and then others are just walking around people with the costumes on. I mean they clearly built the frog head with the pipe in it because the pipe. I think it's Sherlock Frog. The classic fairy tale care.

It's got a Sherlock Holmes. Tom's Thumb Sherlock Frog. That's Raggedy. That's Raggedy. Yeah. But who is the lion with a football jersey? I mean. When they would cut, when they would cut to a group shot, that motherfucker, There's the, there's...

There he is. Oh, this fucking guy's trying to... I saw this and I was like, this guy's trying to get me. But here's the thing. While there are fully costume characters, they're not going the cat's route where it's a human, like,

dressed as like an animal. Then there are just regular people that look like pilgrims or, like, they are... But they're all storybook characters. They are all, you know... I think they are all, you know, meant to be from stories, you know, they're introduced as such. I mean, you know, this classic storybook character.

That's the owl from the Tutsi Pop commercial, right? Old people like that joke. I mean, it's such a bizarre world, and there's the lion in the football jersey. The toy soldiers do come out to play, which makes it interesting because... There's a lady. Oh, look at him. There he is. Oh, look at him. Oh, shit!

Like no matter Oh no, no! Get him out of it! Get him out of there! I see you, Jason. No! That is haunting. That is the scale.

That, that, that's, that's, that is haunting. This to me is the closest thing that we could get to seeing West Amherst. Anderson's nightmares. Yes. Like this feels like when West Anderson dreams, he sees this town and it scares him. Yeah.

They're cute. It's so crazy too because nobody ever asks her like, how'd you get here? Yeah. Well, by the way, I mean, she gets there. She doesn't seem to have many questions. And like even when. I think of the day, really.

Even at a point when she gets her driver's license is just a cookie. Right here. It says driver's license. Right here, I just want to show you. Stop it right here. That wouldn't. is crying. Does that mean the sweat has come out of the actor

through the costume? Is it sap? Or do the wooden soldiers have tear ducks? Like, what is this? Well, here's my other question. We see these wooden soldiers displayed in the town square. Later on in the film, the Toy Master, says, oh, what's in that closet?

And he opens it up. They're all covered in dust and cobwebs. And he goes, they're my greatest joy. So did the cobweb... Are they in a place where cobwebs formed very quickly? Did these escape? Something happened, and I was trying to follow it. Something happened where the wooden soldiers couldn't be released until there was...

Until someone believed in toys. But these wooden soldiers are okay? Well, this is the end of the movie, I believe. I thought this is the beginning of the movie. Is it? I know. I think when... Definitely when the tear comes out is...

That's the guy. Who is that? Who is that lion? Who's that football player? What story is that from? I'm Tick Buckkiss. I was a character creative for Dick Buckkus, a cartoon show

when the Chicago Bears said. I genuinely was like, what the fuck is this guy doing here? And he's crying. And some animals in this movie do, like, wunk, wonk, like a clunch fist to eyeballs. I feel like they had a... I feel like...

I feel like they had a bunch of costumes, and then they were like, can we just find other costumes? And so, like, there's a bunch of mascots just like blended in. Now, I will say I watched this, so I watched half of the movie in a parking spot. Park a lot. You were astily. A beautiful sports facility. And then I watched the other half with our youngest son. Oh, wow.

And that was a different experience. He loved all of this. He loved it. And when he saw the cookies coming out of that guy's hat, he said, I wish I could have a cookie in my hat And then immediately after I wish I had a hat So and loved Drew Barrymore

loved her loved her loved her And then our older son came in too And also loved every second of it So this movie has an audience I'm here to report Your kids are also huge Pete Rose fan That's true I mean let him be in the hall of fame

This movie glorifies Pete Rose And I'll tell you what this movie doesn't like, like this movie does not like people who are overweight. Because there are so many... Oh, so many fatty jokes. So many fatty jokes. And here's a thing. This guy, Gooby, Googie, whatever his name is,

Googie saves Canada Reeves from it. There's a jailbreak in this movie, a straight-up jailbreak. And in this moment, like, Googie saves him. And he's like, he said, I wrote it down. Like, he says, like... Do you mean Georgie Porgy? Well, his name is Googie in the real world, right? Is it?

Is it? Yeah. There's a character in this movie named Googie? Googie, yeah. So if his storybook character is going to be Georgie Porgy, why not have his name in the real world be George? Oh, sorry. His real name is Googie.

Wait. The actor's name is Googie. You know what? That's it. Show's over. Thanks so much, you guys. It was a great night. Thanks for wearing your mask.

It's not worth it. Googie grass is his name. What? We're done. Wrap it. What? Googie grass. Googie grass.

Googie grass. Googie Gress. Wait a second. Hold on. I got to go back. G-O-O-G-I. G-O-O-G-I. G-O-G-O-G-Y.

Googie. Like the movie, Gooby. Googie. And then the last name is Gress. G-G-R-E-S-S. G-R-E-S. Googie G-G-G-G-G-R-E-S. G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-R-S.

I'm done I have nothing to say for the rest ever That's it Googie Grass You know Googie Grass right Wow Wow and that's an actor It's like if anyone can sort of change their name

Is it possible that it's got me Googie Is it possible that it's Gucci I thought Googie was actually the actor Who played the friend and teen wolf Not the MTV show The Michael J Fox movie

but it's not. Oh, no, that's a different guy. Well, maybe it's not. No, he was Francis. So you thought his real life name was Googie. His real life name is Googie. No, I'm sorry. Georgie Porgy.

So in the world, the movie, in the real world in the movie, is Georgie. It is Georgie. And then Georgie Porgy. And so when Georgie rescues Keanu in the fake world, he goes, wow, you're the size of three heroes now. It's like, motherfucker just rescued you. You call him fat? Like, just be like, thank you.

You're a hero. Like, you don't have to, like, make a... Isn't that kind of Georgie Porgy's thing? What's the Georgie Porgy story? Put his finger in some pie. Right? Wait, but what else happens after that? What happened after that?

Georgie weighs 17 and a half stone with a waste of 50 inches. And he's a constant source of... Are you a British Wikipedia? It is... It's historical. UK.com. Why are you measuring in stone? We're in America, baby!

Where we can't stop dying! Uh, yeah. Too dark? Too dark, really? Oh. Oh, wait. Despite his larger size, George also established for himself

a rather poor reputation for his lusty romps with the fairer sex that involves several mistresses leaving a string of illegitimate children when he was 23. What are you talking about?

How is this a story? I guess Georgie is based on a real person. Oh, oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah, I get it now. Yeah, okay, so I guess he was based on Edward I first. Edward the first. Okay, anyway.

Or King George the 4th. I can't get into this British Wikipedia. It's too complicated. Everything's left to right. I'm not going to lie. I still haven't recovered from Googie. I will never. I still am thinking about it.

I have to take off my blazer. I'm not present. Oh, God. Now, I will say, I do want to talk about Eileen Brennan's performance. And I was hurt that you thought I was on in person because I was obsessed with her performance. So good. She's so good. I was obsessed with it.

Until she said she would in hard times sell some of the children. That made me laugh so hard. I mean, yeah. I got it right here. I mean, yeah, she really, like, lays it down. She's so good. And to be clear, if you haven't seen Private Benjamin, do yourselves a goddamn favor and watch Private Benjamin. Goldie Hawn, Eileen Brennan, next level.

Go ahead. When she says, there's a great line in here, too, where she says, like, my mom had too many, my mom had too many kids. So they grew out of the boots. Sorry, let me find out. Out of the shoe and into a pair of boots. Yeah, I thought that was very funny. You just have a list of jokes you liked. At a certain point, I was enjoying the movie.

I was just like my children. I was enjoying every moment of it. I was like, that's fun. I would like to go to that jail. I mean, by the way, this other thing about Toyland is it is also a hollow earth movie because everything in this movie, there's so much underground. Passages. So much tunnels. So many tunnels. I had a question, though, were the tunnels? Was that? Okay. So, so, so, so the bad guy, a Barnaby Barnacle, um, lives in a bowling ball. Is that a, is a story? No, right? I don't think Barnaby, I don't think Barnaby, I want to make sure. Okay, because I loved that, though. That was, I thought it was great. I thought it was great. And I thought it, I liked the look of somehow an ominous giant, uh, um, we should

rolled down at some point. Well, by the way, they threaten it. They say, sometimes it does roll down and crash houses, and then I guess it goes back. That was Chekhov's bowling ball house. You don't put a bowling ball at the top of the hill unless it's going to roll down. You want to see that bowling ball take out those cars at the end

instead of that one character suiciding himself. What I couldn't understand was they seemed to establish two different places of evil, which is the underground caverns that they seem to exist in and the dark forest. Beyond. Right, but we never really get to the... I feel like, well, I felt like the dark forest beyond was actually...

Well, I thought, I don't think there is a dark forest. Now, this is interesting. I don't think there is. I don't think that he was using that as a way of sort of keeping everyone there. But I don't think there was actually... There were just gates. June, let me ask you this. Where is Pat Marita getting all that evil from?

I don't know. I mean, that's the thing. Pat Marita is a collector of evil. Well, I have a theory. Yes. I have a theory. At the end of the movie, it seems to posit that Pat Marita, the toy master, is, in fact, Santa Claus. Who is wearing a Mrs. Claus outfit, no judgment.

Yes. Just need to underline that that was the choice. Where's his hat? I was like, well, I don't know. It's not there. So you think that's a Mrs. Claus? It's definitely a Mrs. Claus. I thought very forward thinking, very cool, gender neutral Santa.

I'm into it. I fully believed that was Santa, because I'll be honest, if I'm Santa, why would I ever wear a hat? It's going to blow off. Hood all the way, baby. I got to tell you, this Santa's a little two hands-on for me because his little minions, everyone's got minions in this town. His minions are like, Toymaker, how do we fix this doll?

He's like, oh, you got to put eyes on it. If they don't know the basics, like, if Santa's got to put eyes on all the dolls, like, shit's gone south. He has not taught them the right thing. Yeah. But Santa, but he is the toy, he is Santa masquerading as a toy maker? I think he's both. I don't know.

I think he is one and the same. To the world, he's like, I'm toy maker. But then, he's like, but I'm also saying it. Like, I feel like it's like it's like, it would almost be like if, if Superman was also the flash. It's like, my secret identity is Superman, but I'm the flash. It's like, wait. Well, no. Because they say earlier that he's making all the toys for Santa.

For Santa. Right. So that would imply that the flash works for Superman. Well, yeah, I'm not going to get it to the Pacific as the DC universe, but I'm going to say this. I would love to. Listen, I'd love to drill down on this. I don't want to believe that Santa has a collection of evil things in an urn. Well, yes, sorry, sorry, yes.

That's what I was going to say is in his experiences as Santa, he comes in contact with evil, takes it and puts it in the urn. Hold on. In the world. in there. Because he goes into the real world. He goes into our world. He says, I've heard of Cincinnati. You know how?

I go there and I deliver presents. And so in our world, he encounters evil. And so he bottles it up. Wait, but how does he encounter evil? Like, because it's like, does he go out in crime fight? Or is he just like, does he just have an urn open? Like, I'm a drive around here. Give me that movie.

Give me that movie. Let me hang out. Like, because there is some, that's what I'm saying. That's a different movie. Pat Marita is the Toy Master. He has a collection of a movie. ready to unleash a box. But it is a good question.

Have other people because nobody seems phased when Drew Barrymore, a human child arrives in Toiland. Nobody seems like, what are you or who are you or where are you from or whatever, even though she is from Cincinnati. There isn't an idea of good or bad until we reveal that how is Barnaby Barnacle evil? Also, shouldn't this movie end with him being redeemed? It's like the Grinch, but he doesn't win. Yes, he's like the Grinch or the villain of the story,

but for it to be a Christmas movie, he should be filled with, he should be redeemed and not banished to the bad forest with all of his demons. Or he's banished in that world, but in real life he's learned his lesson at the Five and Dime. We don't get that either. Wait, but hold on. Now I need to ask you a question that I may have missed. She didn't really shoot out the back of that. Yes, she did.

Oh, she did. Okay. Yeah, definitely. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Okay. All right, well, here's.

What did you think happened? Okay. I thought that she was cooking by stirring that pot and then she fell asleep and imagined everything on her couch. So you imagine, you don't think she left the house. Yeah. Oh, so you think when that she was. You thought when the static happens. Well, the Wizard of Oz, she's in a tornado.

Yes, but it wasn't like, yes, but. Wait, yes, but? Well, hold on. Do you agree, Paul, that in the Wizard of Oz, Dorothy is in a tornado? Yes, but here's my thought is that she was in like a winter storm and the power went out in her house and she like, the antenna fell or, like, we don't know what the reason is,

but she conked herself out. She had this vision of her going to her sister's door. We saw her conquer herself out. by jumping out of the back of a Suzuki sidekick on a sled and hitting a treat. But then we're, like, at the end of the movie, okay, this is the end, okay, this is my thought. Sorry. I mean, I know I'm wrong. I don't know why I'm fighting it, but I, but I will.

This is shocking. Huh? Because I just thought that, like. The movie is very much about child endangerment. Well, okay, but like, so she, like, she, okay, there's Santa. Oh, wait. Drew Barrymore, this is the age where Drew Barrymore would only say. star in movies in which something flies

in front of the moon. They were like we got to get that ET shot. We got to get that ET shot in here. Well I guess my thought was like when she wakes up on the couch she's not bruised, she's not bandaged, she's not in a hospital. This child flew out of the back of a Jeep. She is

concussed. Well, without a bare minimum. She shouldn't be allowed to sleep. Oh my God, I flew out of the back of the Jeep. I only got a concussion. Like that would be like, yeah. You know what my thought was? Because I was concerned about that too. They are worried about her. The mom says that we really worried about you.

But is Googie there? Googie is there. But the little brother's in bed. They took the time to put the brother in bed. They should be in the hospital. She should be... The blizzard. They're not supposed to be driving.

Like, I... So they went and found her body. Also, they brought it back to the house. I think they were close to home. Okay, I want to... Here's what I want to say. So when Drew Barrymore, again, 11 years old, left home alone on Christmas Eve. Okay.

Maybe that's the world. we're living in, okay? Where mom's getting changed on the tire. The telephone line goes down and the, um, um... The antenna falls off the roof. And the antenna for the TV. The electricity doesn't go out. The TV and the phone.

She puts on her winter coat and walks to the toy store where her sister lives. So they are in walking distance. Wait, not lives. I mean, he's working. He's working. You know what I mean. But she's also... She just walks there.

An 11-year-old can walk there. So then if Keanu Reeves is like, I'll drive you guys home, it must be like right there. Why do they drive so long? So many verses. So many verses of the sun. They should be able to see I and I. We're here.

Here's the thing. Suzuki Samurai can only make right turns. So it does take a longer time. I thought they were setting up that she walked a really long time to get to that five and dime store because that's how much of a little adult she is. That would make sense. In my mind, I was like, oh, small town America, she lives

10 minutes from the store, or something you know, the equivalent of. Yeah. She never left that house. That's an absurd statement. Wait, wait, wait. You think that's an absurd? She had a, sure, so a concussion fantasy is different than, like, I fell asleep on the couch.

But the same thing. In the Wizard of Oz, she doesn't just, like, concussed herself at home. The house flies away. She falls out. So you think the concussion is creating the fantasy, he not just asleep? Nah. I mean, or she's dead. We got it. We got it. Jacob's

Ladder scenario. All right. All right. So, all right. Let me ask you guys this. What did you think about the big fix when they're all getting poisoned by gas? And they say... I cannot believe we haven't even talked about that sequence. They're getting poisoned by gas. And what they need... This is nuts. They say, don't breathe it in. And if you breathe it in, the gas... is the personification of evil. So to breathe it in, we'll turn them into ghouls or the minions of Barnaby Barnacle, right?

Those Ferratus that he traveled with. We get to see those monsters later on. But the crazy thing is they're all yelling at each other to not breathe it in. Correct. And in doing so, are just breathing it in, much like all of us in here tonight. And then Drew Baramore's solution is,

hey, if we can't breathe it in, let's all sing. because I'm from Cincinnati and Cincinnati has Like she says I'm immune to the evil gases I immediately she goes Because I'm from Cincinnati That was not like

Because I'm not from your world Not for it was like not It was just because I am from Cincinnati Then she goes on It's except the movie Because Barnaby Barnacle Is also obsessed with her He only calls her

What is it? Like Cincinnati Or Sinsawati Yeah Sinsawati. Mm-hmm. Sinsawattsky, thank you. He only calls her Sinsawatsky.

She's constantly saying Cincinnati. It's as if Cincinnati is a protective barrier or in another way of saying it a good thing. Which I have an issue with. Now, what she has to do here to save them is not only have them breathe in more poison gas, but also teach them the song. They already know it.

They know it in their hearts. Yeah, they know it in their hearts. Yeah, they know it in their hearts. Don't breathe it. Just don't breathe it. You might. The two, Lisa. Nothing's happening to me.

I guess I'm immune because I've from Cincinnati. Yes, Cincinnati. They come from C-I-N-C-I-N-A-T-I-I-C-I-T-I-I-C-I-C-I-T-I-I-I-C-E-I-T-I-I-E-I-T-I, the best-hong in H-I-O-O-H-O-H-O-H-O-H-A. Come on, Toy Master's Sussethe's good, Nevo, Alas. Hold on, good inside you. They're named in Cincinnati, so they say. How does he know the lyrics?

I'm sorry, every actor in that scene deserves an Oscar. Yes. Amen. What must have it been like to shoot this movie? On a process level, you're sitting in your chair, waiting, everybody's dressed up in their weird costumes. And you're like, do you know all the lyrics

to the Cincinnati song? Let's rehearse it one more time. And also, like, trying to figure out, like, what level of monster are you going for? Yeah. So, like, we're in the same movie. You know, we all have to, like, figure out what that's going to be.

And, by the way, they did. They did. I mean, when he goes, Uh-huh, Cincinnati. And the sister, the sister does it next. That's the same thing. They even goes harder into turning into evil. And then so does Googie.

Googie does it the best. Because Googie is the one that you think he's going to lose it. Somehow, I don't know what it is yet, but somehow googie is the t-shirt. I don't know how. I just that guy's face. Just googie. That's it. I'm also like what.

Give me that googee. Googie is not on the birth certificate. So what, I'm like my mind is racing. Like what, what is his Christian name? I'm like, what? It's Frank? Frank? Hold on, hold on.

Somebody said it here. What? It's Frank. You're right. No, it's Francis. Guggy Gress, born as Francis Gress, Jr. Is Gugie a common nickname that we've just never heard? Does anyone in this room know a Gugi?

He was on the show Charmed. Is there a Guggy here? He was uncharmed? He was on Charmed. Is Guggy here? Ladies and gentlemen, Gugie. Gugie. All right. Guys, I have how it came up.

Francis Gress Jr. was born in Brooklyn, New York, and as an infant, his father called him his Goo Goo Baby. That became Googie. And he was raised in Connecticut where there's a state law that if you have a stupid nickname, it's stuck. That's what he says in interviews. And, yeah, that's it. To introduce yourself that way. That's, wow. That is. he lives here in Los Angeles let's get him

let's get Googie find Googie bring him to us Wolf have to fight off his wife and three kids Clara Frank and Gus but besides that we can get him yes he's married to the love of his life Clarinda LaRoss but we can get him

We will raise those child as our own those children as our own You know what let's see if anyone has some questions This audience has a lot of information about Googie a lot of questions about the movie. So if you have a question, raise your hand and by the look of you, I'll see. Yeah, right down here.

You raise your hand first. What's your question? Oh, hi. Hi. Do you get, like, a very weird sexual innuendo about the entire movie with, like, young women and, like, this is great.

Okay, so I'm going to repeat it just because there's no mic there. Is there, like, a weird innuendo that we're getting about child brides, older women? I would go so far as to say it is not an innuendo. It's not one at all. It's just clean facts. Let me be clear.

It is not subtext. It is text. Yeah. The text of this movie is old men want to fuck young girls. And Mary, young girls. Child brides. I mean, now I know we teased it. I just feel like we have to play as this lecherous scene.

I think the only reason why it's so fun is because he's so good. Hi, dear beautiful. I ain't been watching you with the teddy bears. What do you think of running here? Charity Bazaar. Merchandise was faulty. There was no refund. The customer took a punching bag.

in exchange and was quite satisfied. One thing I can say for you, Angelize, your personal merchandise is by no means faulty, but when I say Push the Teddy Bears, I mean push the teddy bears, clear? I'm not a salesperson, Mr. Barney. I'm customer service, and I was doing my job.

Doing your job is pleasing me, which in your case would not be difficult, you know what I mean? No, I don't. You know, for a smart-looking girl, you're really pretty dumb. Don't you know it's better business to be nice to the boss than to some pretty stock. boy with his fingers in the tail. Wow.

And I like how he said fingers in the tail. Ooh, what a villain. What a villain. All right. Anybody else? Anybody else? Yeah, right here. Yes.

The movie was shot in West Germany in 1986, and at one point they built a wall and then the trolls walked through it. Do you think it's for naked? Great question. Great question. There is. Let me repeat it just so we have it because it's so good.

I mean, is that way Humpty Dumpty didn't fall off. Do not bring him up. In 1986, the movie was filmed in Germany, and in the film, they burst through a wall. Did this movie predict the fall of the Berlin Wall? Well, that's why Georgie Porgy, at one point, says, Mr. Barnacle, tear down this wall. It was weird that they shot that lion in an NFL jersey

as he tried to run past the wall. Uh, all right. Anybody, uh, Lizzie? Yeah, okay, yes, yes. Um, did you hear the implication when no, I'm sure he said that is always daylight in like that and they only seem to eat cookies and cakes. Okay, what was the first part of that? It's always daylight. But, but you, but you said something before that, right? She said, did you hear the implication of it or no?

Okay, got it. Yeah. So what is the implication of it always being daylight? I wrote that down too. That doesn't seem like a pleasant thing. That seems like what you, like, a. torturous. Hell on earth. Well, I'm assuming that for the storybook characters, it doesn't matter, but for Drew Barrymore's character, she needs

to sleep. It's like insomnia, that Robin Williams remake but here's the thing. Also, she said that cookies are everything. Cookies are currency, they're also cookies, and they're also driver's licenses. So, like, how do you know if you're eating a cookie?

Cookies are everything in this world. Except for cakes. Cookies are currency, cookies are driving, it's everything. And the cakes that they're making, we lost six months of cakes, but it doesn't seem like cakes would have that long of a shelf life. They shouldn't be out there for six months. Yeah, it doesn't look like a refrigerated area at all. No, I would agree with that.

Oh, I mean, let's be very clear. The cookie factory is not up to code at all. The cookie factory seems to be making cakes. Yeah, yes. Also, so many trap doors. Every building is full, is dripping in trapped doors. Don't talk to him. You're point at me.

There was a roach in the Ciddle left in this team when they got, when it came through the tracked. Yeah. There was a roach like the end of a joint? Like a real roach. There was a roach in the cookie factory. Yeah. and then a roach right back.

Oh, so, yeah, so we're, we're, yes, we saw that there's actually, there's an actual roach in the movie, an actual roach in the movie. I didn't realize you were saying I was right, I agree with you, I am right. Yeah, over here. Yeah, what do you got?

For the two actors that look like, riffraff with a hunchback. Yes. Do you think that both of those actors auditioned for the same part, and the director is like, I just got to have them both? It is interesting.

So Richard Mulligan's character surrounded by, I call him two Nospherattus. Like, they're, they're on either side. Or Nusferatu. Ooh. They, um, they are. Or Nospheratus. They are identical.

They don't do anything different, except for the one suicides himself in the car chase, which is he jumps out of the car like, like, dumb and Fast and the Furious, but to no end, just to the, to the ground. I don't know why. I'll pay $10,000 for those two characters to be in Fast and Furious 10.

without any explanation, or explanation. That's the Tireto, brother. They come out of Toyland. The Fast and Furious Ten goes to Toyland. They get in those little cars. They drive around, and then they bring them into the real world. I'm still shocked. Like, it's one thing seeing, like, Drew Barrymore in a little car.

She's so young, but to see Richard Mulligan. In a little car that sounds like... In a little car that sounds like bubbles and, like... Like old, like Hanaba Barra. Like, It definitely had banana splits vibes. Yeah. And they're all driving around a town square.

Like, there's nowhere to escape. Even when Keanu Reeves escapes from the jail, he's not under any disguise. He just drives right through the center of town. And at the end, when they're all racing, it seems like there's racing through like a block. They're just like, you know, it's like there's not much ground to cover.

Like, just get out of your car and you'll catch them. Yeah, just walk. Well, yeah. Well, yeah. The cars don't go fast. And they're being driven by children. And the other thing is, the car chase, our heroes, all drive away. And what's left is Richard Mulligan and the Nosferatu's just are driving in circles around a building at each other over and over and over until they crash.

So wait, no, let me say something because now I'm realizing something. So the moral, like, there's a lot of morals to Christmas movies, right? There's, you know, like, whether it's like the most, uh, eight bit Christmas, the most important part of, of, of the holidays, it's not the gift. It's about, it's about, it's about spending time with the people that you love. It, you know, whether it's, you know, the Grinch. Love actually. It's about, uh, uh, your wife getting a Joni Mitchell CD instead of the, instead of the thing. Or trying to steal your best friend's wife or going to America and sleeping with a bunch of random people.

All the love actually great holiday tropes. All the great bits. But like here, the moral is, hey, kids. Don't grow up too fast. Which is, by the way, but that's a fine, like, toy story. Like, that's a fine moral. For kids? Well, but my problem is.

80s divorced kids. That's what this movie is about, I feel. Absolutely, but my problem is, like, I don't know that this is by choice. I don't know that she wants to be this little adult mother figure in her home. She very much doesn't. I believe she has to be. She says, quote, I always wanted to be a kid. That's devastating.

What? That's devastating. That's a line Drew Barrymore at 11 years old crushes. Yeah, she does. It rings true. It's a devastating. I always want it to be a kid at 11? I understood that.

Do you want to believe, Lisa? Yes, I do. More than anything. I guess life just may make her up too fast. Oh. Although I do still have my teddy, I kept teddy. Did you hear that? Everybody, she kept her teddy.

Yes, I kept my teddy. Now, what I really needed to see was when we were back in present day, I really needed to see that mom like clock this. All of it. All of it. And think like, I'm going to make a few different choices. Change needed, the change of what happened in Toyland needed to be established in the code. when she wakes up, right?

Because, we would then understand her life would be made better. She would be allowed to be a child. But hold on one second. I'm looking at this and going, she doesn't even get to be the hero of the story, really. I mean, she helps.

She helps. But it's like, it's not her story. Like, it's like, well, I guess maybe that's Wizard of Oz too, right? I mean, there's a world in which she comes back and says, like, hey, mom, I need help. I mean, honestly. Where's dad?

And then the mom hugs are like Goodwell Hunting says it's not your fault. Yes. It's not your fault. Or it's something like like the, like the, like the, like the, like the bare minimum we get in the movie is that she wakes up. They have a feet. They're saying bear like the least, not the bear like a furry. There's a lot of bears in the bag. And she looks past and there's a wooden soldier as one of the gifts on the thing and it like salutes her or whatever.

And that's basically it. It's like she still has a little bit of like the magic of. of these toys come to life or whatever. I'm just saying that she is the adult. She is ultimately the adult in toilet. Like, it might as well have been, she wakes up, she wakes up on the couch and her mom's like,

I thought dinner was going to be ready. What were you mixing because you didn't clean the dishes? What's this? I heard you fell out of the back of a Suzuki sidekick. Yeah. Your father's going to be very upset when he finds us. I...

He's coming back. Trust me. I wish I went to toilet. If only you would be more responsible, your father would come back. It's also interesting, though. What's interesting to me is that they make her the middle child.

The mediator. Yeah, because she's not like, like oldest daughter's powerful force in the world and usually take on, that sort of like mother-like energy in a household. But she's actually the middle child taking care of her older sister and making dinner for her younger brother. Her first question when she wakes up from a couch coma is where's Johnny?

Where's the little brother? Where's the little boy? I can't remember what his name is. But where's Johnny? She just woke up from a coma and is remembering because that wasn't even part of the, they weren't trying to find Johnny in the beginning. Like Johnny was with the mom. Mom was getting chains on her tires.

That was fine. The mom was like, hey, look, I know it's snowing. I got a couple more errands to run. I'll be back soon. Like, the mom is not coming home. But, you know, maybe what we're talking about is, do we need hospitals? But, again, it's the 80s.

It's the 80s. They basically were like, walk it off. Concussions weren't... Carotty kid just slapped his hands together. Concussions weren't a real thing. You could get a couple of those. All right, another question from the back. Anybody in from back?

Yeah. Great. You can say that. Is there any way where this traumatizes Keanu to basically develop the clothing technology and replicas to the same family? Great idea.

So people are hypothesizing is this character the Keanu plays a prequel to what we saw in replicas where he must replicate his family. You know, I mean, I don't want to get too deep in the car accidents.

No. Over there in the back. Yeah, right there. Okay, two quick things. Sure. I'm from Ohio, Cincinnati sucks. A woman from Ohio says Cincinnati sucks. Cincinnati sucks.

Cincinnati sucks. Cincinnati sucks. That's going in the podcast. Devin, keep it in. I hope we never put Cincinnati. Yes, for me. So your whole argument that a sled is not this like influential and amazing. Yeah.

One word Rosebud. Okay. So someone's coming after me. This isn't done spool! Not unspolled folks. Is that Amy Nicholson? We understand it, but that's not...

Get out of here, Nicholson. Thank you, Amy Nicholson. So she brings up... Now, I have an answer for that. You said... Repeat the question. They're going to repeat the question. She said, Paul, you say that, you know,

a sled is not influential. Cis and Cain. Rosebud, she said Rosebud, Citizen Kane reference. Here's what I'll say about that. When was Citizen Kane made? 1942. How old was Citizen Kane when Charles Foster came when he died? When he was born?

What's happening right now? Let's just say. Why are you condescending to our audience? Yeah, they're... Let's just say this. They're hearing back. Let's just say this. Boose.

Watching us. Let's just... Why are you yelling at them? Let's just say this. In 1911, a sled would be a big fucking deal. So I agree with you. Yes, if in 1911 I was 10 years old and I got a sled, I'd be like, oh my God. The only thing for entertainment is newspapers.

Yeah. It would be the fucking best. This is 86. We're talking goonies in the movie theater. Nintendo's on our side. screen. Sylvester Stallone is killing Russians. You're giving me a fucking fuck you in your sled. Give me a Nerf guns.

Give me a laser tag. Give me a gift. Wow. Paul Scheer, the spirit of Christmas. Give me, give me, gimme, gimme. Wow. Did you ever go? Yeah, I went sledding. And guess what? The other kids have fucking sleds.

And you take turns. Oh, so you're a fucking chair. Wait a second, so you never got one. Uh-huh. So you never got one. I had a sled. I had a sled. It doesn't register with me

because it's not that big a fucking deal. You were, you were sledless. You were one of those sledless kids who's like, can I get a ride on your sled? Can I get a ride on you? Hey, I got next on your sled. Get ready, motherfucker. I'll drop this on you.

I had a horse-drawn carriage. We bring that shit out in the winter And I didn't give a shit about it. What is that mean? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Oh, that's right. You had horses.

So we would put on the fucking skis on the horse drawn car. Put skis on horses? No, on the carriage. That's not a sled. That's not a sled. I'm just saying I got winter toys. That's not a toy. It's not a toy of giant mammoth.

And neither is a sled. This is insanity. I'm really upset. I'm really upset. And I'm parenting with this person, okay? We're the stewards of childhoods, and this is very scary. I'm like, that is, this is wild. These are wild takes, Paul.

Anybody else got a question? Yeah, right over here. Oh, I went here, but you go there. Oh, yeah. I got to talk about this character. All right. This is like a, this is like a dark crystal kind of character, a Henson-esque Muppet that is a Cyclops bird

whose giant main eye is also a TV. And looks dead. And looks dead. Like it is unsettling. It's like the difference between creating a Muppet and a statue with one moving part is light ears. But the thing is. is, and Richard Mulligan

continues to use it in order to spy on Drew Barremor and Keanu Reeves and the heroes of the story. So that's how he's staying ahead of them. But every frame in the movie, you're looking at the gross, cloudy eye of this puppet,

and then like a TV screen is kind of superimposed onto it. It's disgusting. It really is. And bizarre. And really, and this is where I was like, oh, I kind of am into this in a, I wish this had like a dark crystaly. I wish these characters were more

sketsies, more scary, more creatures, but they're not. They see, again, you see all the seams and all the weirdness. And yes, you're right. They put him in a box. They put him away. Of course, Trawlogs should come back. And maybe even help defeat his owner

or his, his, his, his, that's not it's about, it's not about turning the tide. It's just about. It's not about that. It's just about him being banished. Nobody, nobody gets converted in a Christmas movie into feeling the power of Christmas or believing in toys. Like Barnaby Barnacle should be, it should be him that believes in toys again so that the movie can resolve. It doesn't need to be Drew Barrymore because he is, he is the equivalent

of someone who's not interested in, who doesn't want. I agree. He's the villain, right? Oh, actually, I just had a thought about something. Is it about sleds are awesome? Well, June, your movie, eight-pick Christmas. Does a kid in that movie want to sled? Doubling down. No. What does he want?

A Nintendo. Nintendo, 1986. Here's some of the toys that came out in 1986. Fucking Nintendo. That's a toy. My pet monster, had it. That's a toy.

Paul, can I ask you a kid? Had it. Hey, Paul. That's a toy. And a friend. Quick question. Quick question for you, Paul. Omnibat 2000.

Had it. Do you think that Mary, working at the Five and Dime, can afford a fucking Nintendo for her sister? She could maybe afford Photon. She gives half of her salary to pay for the slag. Poton was a generic toy to Laser Tag, who's cheaper than Laser Jack, and I had Photon. Anyway, I had a lot of these 186 toys. Now, are you just using this to flex? Teddy Ruxpin, had it.

I had it. I had a phone. This is sad. So sad. This is so sad. You're going. Share a costume. Had it. Wanted it. Why do you have that bookmarked? Why is that so accessible to you, that list of toys you had in 86? And I'm not going to, by the way, what I'm not going to do tonight is I'm not going to go back on thinking sleds are cool. Okay? I do. I think sleds are great and awesome and a lovely gift.

What I also going to say, though, is that this is her sister. This is her older sister. This isn't, she's not going to get like this. the thing of her dreams necessarily. This is the sister works at the Five and Dime. Yes, and this is a lovely thing for an older sister to get a younger sister. Especially a younger sister who she feels like is behaving too responsibly. She wants to give her, get out of the house, get out of nature. She wants to give her a toy, something to have fun with, something to, exactly, leave the house and stop the new work. Say, come on.

Whoa. Misogynist. Now we see. You probably get yourself. You put her in the kitchen pot. Get the fuck out of here. So she understands. To double her.

Don't let her have an adventure toy. Give her a practice oven for her future life. I'll put you in an easy bake oven. I was like, let's get her a toy so you can make more food for the family. Not because she's not because, yeah. Wow. Wow. They need to eat.

This is, this is really like a tree color. Clearly I'm really. with their other opinions out there. I see your true colors. Second Opinions. All right. We have placed this microphone down here on stage. We have had two people coming up here.

What's your name? My name's Anna. Anna. Anna Wohom. All right, here we go. It is now time for second opinions. Drew Barrymore wakes up in Toiland where she teams up with friends and family

to overthrow Barnaby 5.4 out of 10 stars on IMDB Does it sound forgetful? Well, it was made for TV. Mulligan, Brennan and Reeves, let's go. Largo Christmas show. Pat Marita has the toys ready to go. Giddy up, giddy up, sick in opinions thrive On how did this get made live

Babes in Toiland, 2021, and we made it out alive Yes, beautiful and amazing First person back, hit it out of the park Absolutely stunning, thank you so much Next one, come on up Beautiful voice, my God Or what's your name? I'm Natalie. Natalie, welcome, that's great,

where you were saying was perfect. I love your stellar skateboard shirt. All right, Natalie, take us away. It is now time for second opinions. I'm dreaming of a crap movie. Just like the ones I used to watch where the Humpty Dumpties don't fall. Tell me what's the point of it all.

Oh, amazing. Thank you so much. That was amazing. Great work. Wow. You've got some voices tonight. Guys, I just had a moment of panic. Oh, boy.

That I was like, oh, shit, am I recording this? Because we've been doing it at home on Zoom so much. It's like, I didn't, I don't think I hit record. I don't think I hit record on QuickTime. I literally had that. We have our amazing, our amazing. Give it up for that. Kevin up there in the booth, Devin, up in the booth.

It was... Just to be clear, Devin, are you recording this? Jason and June. I normally do second opinions. What is this? Are you okay? Are you about to propose? I just want you to know, and this is for everybody in the audience

and for you both know, you don't know what's about to happen. Oh, I'm scared. I don't like surprises, Paul. What did you do? But I'm not going to do, Jason. I'm not going to do, Jason. I am not going to do. to do second opinions today. I have a very special guest. I have a very special guest doing our

second opinion. So here we go. Okay. Take it away. Drew Barremore. Oh, hello, June, Jason and Paul. How are you guys? I'm so excited to do this with you. Let's read some reviews, shall we? For the obscure masterpiece, Babes in Toyland. By the way, Keanu Reeves was just here, and he sends you all his best. All right. Lynn M. Hansen writes, subject line, Drew Barrymore. That's right, Drew Barrymore. Drew Barrymore does a great job

in this remake of Babes and Toyland. It is not my favorite, but it is very good. And then, five stars. I don't think that's where that review was going, but okay. Ben writes, I remember being scared of this movie when I was a kid. Those creatures and those two evil sidekick dudes really creep me out.

So I just watched it again about 30 years since seeing it as a kid and I'm happy to report that it's just as creepy as I remembered. I will update my review in another 30 years when I watch it again to see if it's still as terrifying. Five stars!

Jay Pensian, right? I absolutely love this movie. I absolutely love this movie to death, but it's only on VHS. It's one of the best versions of Babes in Toyland in my opinion. If anyone knows how to get this in DVD form, let me know I'd do anything to find it. Let me know it would really make my holiday and year.

And if you haven't seen this movie and still have a VHS, buy it ASAP. Why are you still reading? Buy it now! Five stars! I'm going to go on record and say I had no idea that anyone knew about this movie. I thought it's exciting to see. see that anybody gave it a five-star review, and I bet there are a lot of one-star reviews out there of it as well, and I'd be interested in seeing those, too. But as the person who

was in this movie, when I was 11 years old, we shot it in Munich, Germany for six months, and we just had the best time ever. It was actually really fun. And I don't know. All I can say is that I give you guys, June and Paul and Jason, five stars! Oh my God, I love her so much. Drew Baramore. Incredible. Wow, that was a surprise. Incredible.

My Christmas gift to you both. Thank you so much. Okay, I love her so much, and I just love her so much. And that is, watching this movie, I was like, God, she's so winning, and so is Keanu. Like watching the two, those two child faces in this movie, it really does make it so watchable. And they are something to, I just wanted to like, I spent all of yesterday writing a script for Drew and Keanu because they were going to do it together. Their interview ran too long and he had to run to another event. So at the last second, like he had signed off on it, he had done it, we had them going back and forth with different reviews.

But they were both, the fact that they are both still, like, that, like, into it and having, and friendship. I love them both. And that they're both still thriving. Yes. Oh, God, are they ever. They are thriving. God, are they ever. Tick talk, Mr. Wick.

They're both thriving. And what's, and I will say this, like, the movie is, the movie, I mean, the movie is just absurd and an absolute cavalcade of nonsense. But it's watchable because they are so, as is Pat. Marita, as is, and I'm forgetting the actress who plays Mary, her sister, who's great, as is Ellen Burstyn. Ellen Burstyn. As is Jerry Orbach.

As is... Nobody puts baby in the corner. But listen, that's what makes the movie work because if it didn't, it would be unwatchable. And as it is, it is delightfully unwatchable because you're like, what the fuck? Six months. Six months in Germany.

Doing what? Six months. The whole movie takes place on a pile of dirt. It was a hundred and forty-five minutes. That's two hours and 25 minutes. That was the original cut. Now, here's the thing. You were talking like...

By the way, thank you, Paul. That was a real treat. That was incredible, Paul. That was a surprise and a real treat. June and I, no idea. Just to you guys know, just a surprise. And I was terrified. loved it.

Yeah, I would not surprise. And now, ladies and gentlemen, Googie. But I will say this. People are saying, you know, is this a prequel to Keanu Reeves' character and replicas? It's not, but it is responsible

for Keanu Reeves learning to how to ride a motorcycle. He did not know how to do it. He wanted to learn. He paid a woman there in Munich to learn a... Did he ride a motorcycle in this? No, he just...

Just while he was there. The six months that he was there. And he now owns... a motorcycle company. Yes. This movie literally started that love of motorcycles. He liked motorcycles, but he learned. And when he came back from this movie,

his first purchase was a motorcycle. Wow. And like we said, this movie came out in 1986. It's rated G. It's rated G, but there is, at the end, a saving Private Ryan level of violence. The wooden soldiers come out with guns. and canons that don't shoot like silly string

or something fun and story-timey. They shoot bullets and cannonballs. Yeah. You got it. I mean, look, there are some harsh realities here. And that also speaks to Drew's character's mind. She wasn't going to envision funny confetti. True.

Bullets. True. The tagline of this movie. A commentary on the Vietnam War. The quagmire of Toyland. The tagline is a kind of a clunker. You must truly believe in toys, which kind of gives away the ending if that's your tagline. My question about that is, it's the idea that belief in toys.

Toys. Not humanity. Not exactly. Not the Christmas spirit. And also not here's, it's like toy story is, it is about the toys and it isn't. You know, it's also about imagination. And that's also what they're missing here, which is the idea that you just believe in an inanimate object.

Like, that's not what we are believing in. Just because she's a teddy bear. Yeah. And what the stories we can tell. Stories is almost more what it would be. The belief of the Christmas spirit or the story of Christmas or the generosity or the whatever, not that the toys themselves. She doesn't leave.

with an actionable thing. Like, she doesn't go back, like she goes back home or awakes from her coma, however you want to view it, and says, I now believe in toys, which I don't think

that's going to change the day to day. No, it's not. Like, I still think that the mom's going to be like, we need food on the table. I got to go run some more errands with your little brother. Paul, did you... He wants to be a commercial actor.

We got to get him out there for auditions. Did you really, like, did you feel like for you, you connected with her character a lot as having not had a real childhood? I will say this. When you were, and I mean this is a very sincere way,

when you were talking about that wasn't normal, like her answering the phone and cooking dinner, I was like, really? Like that, like that didn't seem, like that didn't seem bizarre. Like, none of that stuff read weird. It was like, yeah, yeah, she's just a kid. Like, like, so that.

She's just a kid who's got to get dinner done on time and make sure the, little brother's taken care of. Yeah, I mean, yeah, that stuff seemed normal. Joseph does that thing where she's like, ring, ring, hi, mom, hi, how are you? Like, where she just immediately launches into conversation. Top three movies, 86, Top Gun, Crocodile Dundee,

The Karate Kid Part 2, the other movies from 86 from How Did This Get Made, Cobra, Howard the Duck, and Maximum Overdrive, and Rad. So it's a big year for How Did This Get Made. Would you recommend people see Babes in Toyland? I would. I would, too. I absolutely would. Yeah, I think so.

It's wild. It's wild. I would argue that like I want, not only do I want people to see it, but I want people to see it in a volume that demands that we get the longer cut. The 145. I want the 145 in the same way that I want Peter Jackson's 15-hour cut of Get Back? There is. There is. The 145 is on YouTube, and he's like, yes. By the way, that's why it's a six-month. It was a six-month. Shoot.

145, two hours and 20 minutes. And they had, you know, but they were all... Can I interrupt for one second? Did anybody here watch the 145 raise your hand? Don't go crazy. No?

You're rational people. Okay. You're people from L.A. You have other things to do. That's why Quippy was invented. I'm just curious if someone had what was, what did they see? Well, basically there's a couple of reviews that I read where people were a little bit more excited about.

There's some better songs. They felt like the better songs were left in the cutting room floor. Interesting. But again, those are people leaving five. our reviews for Babes in Thailand. So I'm not really judging their taste as an arbiter of mine. But I will say this much.

What I love about this movie is, and we talked about this before, whether it's like Valerian and a thousand planets or Jupiter or ascending, whatever we watch her. It's like, I like fucking weird. Like, this is a kid's movie. Like, they'll never make, like, a movie this weird. You'll never have the peering, Humpty, dumpy,

like, yeah. Yeah. Oh, by the way, just well, we're at it. Someone go home, make that gif. Yeah. Giff? Giff? Give. Make that gif. I want that gif of Humpty Dumpty peering out.

Put it up on the, whatever. Well, we have done it. It's our first live show back. Felt great. Jason June. I'm tall John. Holy shit. A big thank you to Devin up in the booth. Our producer, Molly Reynolds.

Our producer, Cody Fisher. All the people who make this work April Halley for finding this movie and sticking with it for three years. Nate Kylie, who does all of our amazing research. And now I will say this. Jason and July Diaz.

July Diaz, who is our MVP, our person who listens through the whole thing. Always getting Kyle Waldron and of course Zach McAleese, who goes to Craig T. Nelson, Instagram, who does all of our art. Jason June, what do we want to promote? What do we want to talk about? I don't need to plug anything. I just want to say, I'm just so happy to be here. And thank you for wearing your masks and

coming out and I'm just thrilled to be in a live show. I was going to say the exact same thing. I was just going to say thank you, the live audience, for coming to this show and welcoming us back because I'll be honest, there is nothing, literally nothing that I have missed more than standing on, sitting on stage with you guys talking to you fucking idiots about some piece of nonsense. It is. And so this is incredible.

Thank you for making this happen. And I want to add one more thing to that, which is I want to thank the amazing staff here at Largo who run such an amazing theater. They put on amazing shows. They take care of people, yeah. Because one of my big fears when the pandemic happened and we talked about Flanney and Largo so much

because we were so terrified about what was going to happen to the space and they just run a beautiful theater here. And I am so, I walked in and I wanted to cry because I'm so thrilled that they're here and encourage you all to continue to support. The other shows that are here, I'm sure you do, but please check them out. It's a miracle.

And I'm so glad that they're still here. This is our home. So please support our home. Be nice to all these people. Come back and see shows. Like we said, Jason and I, we perform improv here. You can check it out. It's Dinosaur.

But thank you for you. for being here. Thank you for coming. And thank you for being you. Babes in Toyland Forever. We will now pose for a picture. We'll give you a picture.