How Did This Get Made? - Batman & Robin w/ Matt Mira & Jesse Falcon (HDTGM Matinee)

Episode Date: May 27, 2025

This week’s episode forecast…a freeze is coming! Matt Mira (The Goldbergs) and Marvel’s Jesse Falcon joins Paul & Jason to discuss the 1997 Joel Schumacher take on Batman & Robin starring George Clooney. They discuss Superhero butt shots, all the Mr. Freeze puns, and how this movie is basically a really long action figure commercial. (Originally Released 08/07/2012) • Go to hdtgm.com for tour dates, merch, FAQs, and more• Have a Last Looks correction or omission? Call 619-PAULASK to leave us a voicemail!• Submit your Last Looks theme song to us here• Join the HDTGM conversation on Discord: discord.gg/hdtgm• Buy merch at howdidthisgetmade.dashery.com/• Order Paul’s book about his childhood: Joyful Recollections of Trauma• Shop our new hat collection at podswag.com• Paul’s Discord: discord.gg/paulscheer• Paul’s YouTube page: youtube.com/paulscheer• Follow Paul on Letterboxd: letterboxd.com/paulscheer• Subscribe to Enter The Dark Web w/ Paul & Rob Huebel: youtube.com/@enterthedarkweb• Listen to Unspooled with Paul & Amy Nicholson: unspooledpodcast.com• Listen to The Deep Dive with June & Jessica St. Clair: thedeepdiveacademy.com/podcast• Instagram: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & @junediane• Twitter: @hdtgm, @paulscheer, & msjunediane  • Jason is not on social media• Episode transcripts available at how-did-this-get-made.simplecast.com/episodesGet access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using the link: siriusxm.com/hdtgm

Two words, bat nipples. We saw Batman and Robin, so you know what that means. Hello people of Earth and welcome to How Did This Get Made? I am joined, as always, by Jason Manzoukas. Hello, Jason. How are you, Paul? You are in New York. That is the sound quality that we are hearing. But it sounds pretty good to me, I think.

I think so. I think it sounds just terrific. Unfortunately, June is not here today. Scheduling has made it impossible, but the show must go on. So we have two special guests. Instead of just one, two. You know, this first guy from, of course, Attack of the Show and the very popular Nerdist podcast.

Please welcome Matt Myra. Thank you. I'm so glad to be here. I just wish I didn't have to watch that movie. And then this is a friend of the show. So we're very excited to have, he does a bunch of things at UCB Theater. And we can say that you work for Marvel, right? Absolutely.

All right, there we go. Anyway, works for Marvel. Please welcome Jesse Falcon. Hey guys. Thanks for having me. Very excited. Falcon. So, all right, this movie. Holy shit, I don't even know where to begin.

I think you know that you're getting into something amazing when the first shot is ass. It is like, it's a gearing up shot and it's this bat ass, boom, right there. And then not just one, two. Oh yeah, right, the Robin ass, too. And they were both pretty well formed, I'm not gonna lie.

No, they're in very good shape, George Clooney and. Yeah, these guys have great asses. Well, I would dispute gonna lie. No, they're in very good shape. George Clooney and... These guys have great asses. Well, I would dispute that, Manzoukas, because honestly, I went back and I watched that, you know, gearing up montage, which we've seen in countless action movies and specifically superhero movies, but they really took an extra couple seconds

on both of those shots. I know people joke about this movie as being very homoerotic, but it is I mean, there's no denying this movie is ridiculous the bat nipples this movie is 3-quarters yeah, yeah this movie is 3 quarters on its way to be a porn parody of a Batman I do want to point out that the writer of this movie This guy is insane this guy's written so many amazing things he had does he have an Oscar he I'm sure he Right or something

This is a shoe marker all the way yeah shoe marker. I think went nuts on this Schumacher all the way yeah Schumacher. I think went nuts on this You know it like neon lights on the automobile. Why would you cover the automobile with neon lights? Oh, we put me on and then when bat when Robbins Robin cycle or whatever fuck is called opens up there are two neon Robin signs on either side just to remind you whose that is Well also when Robin crashes through a wall It creates a Robin like a Batman That was crazy I Mean this movie makes the Adam West Batman look campy

Oh, honestly, and I felt that when I was watching it because I hadn't seen this movie in a long time I actually remember seeing it for the first time we We were a couple buddies of mine, our DC buddies, counterparts, were like, oh, we have a screening of this thing, come over to watch it. And we really liked the Batman series up until that point. It was, you know, we accepted the fact that they were gonna kind of retcon each episode, if you would, or each individual film

by getting a new actor after Michael Keaton liked the series. Then it became Val Kilmer. It was like, oh, that's it became Val Kilmer and was like Oh, that's cool. Yeah, I'll come it was awesome It was and you have to remember like that even watching that movie now It's very campy but like that was before they did Pet Detective 2 so Jim Carrey was at the height of his yeah You know comedic power and people just couldn't get enough of him

So they loved that movie and the movie did incredibly well. It made so much money So they'll so Joel was just, I'm just gonna keep going in that direction and really hit the gas this time. I'm gonna hit the gas without comedians in this one. Like that was it, like he did not put any, I mean he put Schwarzenegger and Alicia Silverstone. Schwarzenegger, top build. Villain is top build in a Batman movie.

That was shocking to me. The other thing that was shocking to me is that all of his henchmen were basically starlight express hockey players Scene felt like I'm watching Batman on ice it was like this is a theme park show that was shot a little bit better I think that was part of the pitch when Schumacher came in it was like somebody was like this is gonna be just like a Batman movie, but think of it as Batman on ice, and then you just know that like, brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr very conscious of product placement. I don't mean like the Coke can and Ghostbusters when she opens up the fridge. I'm talking about stuff that toy companies

specifically asked to be in the film. This film really wasn't so much a movie, a Batman movie, as much as it was a feature length Power Rangers commercial. Or an episode. Oh, it was actually a toy commercial. It was absolutely a toy commercial. There's so many, I mean, there's literally a line, I believe I have this.

Are we gonna play the Poison Ivy one? Yeah, I have that. Like, listen to this. No, no. First you're gonna tell me where Freeze is, and then you're going to jail. I'm a lover, not a fighter. That's why every Poison Ivy action figure comes complete with him. Which is a bold-faced lie Poison ivy action figure by the way we're getting a little taste of Uma Thurman to place a poison ivy her subtlety in this movie There was obviously a Greta Garbo plant that bit her at some point

Yeah, that was funny because she was like a mousy little girl Yeah beginning and then playing it fine somebody pours a mixture of chemicals on her and she was like a mousy little girl at the beginning and then somebody pours a mixture of chemicals on her and she completely becomes a different character. Oh, hey fellas. You wanna come up and see me sometime. She does have like a crazy line where she's like, my blood is aloe and my lips are poison.

It's like whenever Kate Mulgrew got trapped in the holodeck Movie as a staple right away of a bad movie Which is there is a surfing scene right at the top like they're in like a little no I was watching it Just this morning as a matter of fact and when the when mr. Fries's car starts tilting up, I'm like, that's not a rocket ship, right? That's what I said! They're not going to take a rocket. He's not taking a rocket, and then a fucking jet fires, and they're in a rocket.

Also Schwarzenegger's- That is in a museum. In a museum. The rocket is in a museum. Right. Well, he drove it in there. He was ready, but if you ever happen to see this again on television television just pay attention to Schwarzenegger's terrible space work with joysticks By the way, I want to talk about Schwarzenegger's car

He is mr. Freeze in the movie, which means he says a lot of freeze puns We'll get to that problem a little bit later, but his car looks like I don't watch dr. Who but what are those robots and doctor like the Cyberman? Did it look like it's where all the things get it looks those robots in Doctor Who? Cybermen. Yeah, it looks like it has all the things. It looks like that. Or a Dalek. A Dalek. A Dalek, yeah.

And it looks like, so it doesn't even look like a car. I don't know why it has all these bullet things out of it. It's ridiculous. And Gotham City in this movie, like Tim Burton made a cool dark Gotham. It looked a little bit interesting. This one, they have like statues that are hundreds of feet tall. I'm going to fight all of this I do I like to like the super gothic

Gotham City like I like the giant statue. I don't what I don't care for right is that gangs love blacklight Yeah, yeah And both movies both Schumacher movies in the last one So much of this stuff has like elements to it that seemed to me like Andrew Lloyd Webber musical Whether it's like the Starlight Express kind of like running around guys on roller skates or ice skates I guess is what it is or like that crazy. Yeah black light neon makeup that people are wearing. It's crazy I just want to be at the meeting where freeze decides. This is what you guys are gonna wear. You're gonna help me Yeah, dude, honestly, if you watch,

really gooning for Mr. Freeze is one of the shittiest jobs you could possibly have. Because it's like, they all have to sing the Freeze Monster song. Oh yeah, there's the next Freeze Monster. And then what are they eating? Tongues are all stuck to frozen dinners that are solid ice.

The best shot in the movie starts off on two, what is it, like a polar bear feet? Like a slippers, and they're tapping along and they're watching. And you pull up on his polar bear robe. He pull her hair robe, cause he, oh it's so dumb, it's so dumb. And he's leading a sing-along to like that Raskin-Bask heat miser song. And he's like, sing, sing! Like yelling at them to sing along with the Mr. Freeze

from that, it makes no sense. Well, to even add insult to injury here is like, he has to wear that mechanical suit to keep himself alive. And when he takes it off, he wears clothes that will make him warmer. Yes! Which is like, I don't know. And is it Vivica A. Fox?

Vivica A. Fox is the inch lady. Which the whole logic of Freeze in this movie is so fucked up because at times he's like, I'll kill you, I'll rip your bones out. And then at the end of the movie, Batman is like, hey listen man, I know you just really want to save your wife. He's like, really?

And then he's like, oh, I'm a good guy now. Like how did he make this hairpin turn you know? I don't even understand what that mr.. Freeze in this movie has no plan really he's just no Cut and I think the most compelling villain in this movie is Poison Ivy's boss at the that wants to sell off the Bane super soldiers He is appealing to the unknighted nation I loved those five character actors. They had standing in the balcony like one black guy one Chinese guy You know that they are all dressed like that in their headshot

They're the most racist view of the world Yeah, but there's no plan just to point out there is no plan. Mr. Freeze is just going around. No, no, no his plan which cracked me up is to get money for research. Oh, yeah! Like he doesn't want to see he holds them ransom instead of selling the billions of dollars worth of diamonds he's stolen he decides to freeze Gotham City ransom. Doesn't he need the diamonds in order to power his stuff? Yeah, but that's what he needs. He needs it to power that. I'm now I't he need the diamonds in order to power his stuff?

Yes. But that's what he needs. He needs it to power that. Now I'm talking about the plot of Batman and Robin. Please, please get into it. He needs it to power his freezing engine, which will freeze Gotham City, which will then hold ransom so he can get billions of dollars for research.

Thank you for clarifying that, because I did not get that. And I am happy to now know that that I believe Billy was a plant. I fully missed that. Me too. But he could just cut off the middleman and sell diamonds. I get the frozen wife part. I get the part where he needs to make his wife better. But I could not understand what the fuck was going on,

because I was so confused by the idea that the most powerful fuel source in Gotham is diamonds. I was like, I don't know, everybody seems to want diamonds to fuel something. Yeah, what? Well, I mean, look, when you have, when the number one reporter in Gotham is a gossip reporter, yeah, gossip comes, I'm here with Mr. Bruce Wayne. My personal friend, Mr. Bruce Wayne says. He was way overused in this movie.

Way overused. Why did there were two scenes that they needed that character? You know that woman exists in reality. That actress is that woman and she is best friends with Joel Schumacher. Yeah. Oh Joel baby, put me in the movie. And her sister Cindy Adams. Gossip Gertie is her name played by the lovely Elizabeth Sanders

Who only who's only been in it was only been in the two Gossip Gertie it has to be right she also was in Batman Returns as Gothamite number four But I imagine that has no lines there So I think that she could be a friend of Joel Schumacher She has to be right. She has to be I want to I want to get back to something for a second Just because this is a fun little tidbit of information this scene at the top of the movie where they're fighting in the museum and then they blast off into low orbit and and then And use the escape hatches Boards Just the doors Robin goes cowabunga

Yes, he did say that so he co-opted a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle line there But that that scene was described to me in a very very early days before the x-men movie ever got made and the Executive producer of the film had this idea that at the end of the x-men movie You were gonna see something like you had never seen before I have to say, in his kind of accent. Because this guy was an amazing salesman. He's like one of the greatest salesmen in the world. And he was like, at the end of the movie, you're going to see something like you've never seen before.

It's going to be Wolverine and Sabertooth up on the top of the mountain and the snowboarding down and the claw fighting all the way down to the bottom of the mountain. So that scene almost happened. And they're claw fighting. almost happened in X-Men. And they're claw fighting. Yeah, claw fighting. Almost happened in X-Men. I will say that we always are looking for signs of a bad movie, and surfing is always

a clear sign, like co-opting that culture. It was bad before that because immediately when Batman now is in the one-seater Batmobile, the 27-foot-long Batmobile. That looks really like a... Frightening. I mean, it really does look like an ambiguous gay duo. Yeah, it does. Commissioner Gordon comes out and goes, there's a new villain.

A new villain? To trump that, to trump that, when Batman meets him, he's like, hi, Freeze, I'm Batman. Like what fucking superhero, what Dark Knight hi, Freeze, I'm Batman. Like, what fucking superhero, what dark knight goes, hi, I'm Batman? He calls himself Mr. Freeze. And we completely skipped the fact that they look at each other, click their boots, and ice skate probably.

Because you never know when you need to ice skate fight. Mind you, they just see the, they just see the bat signal, so they're leaving on an ordinary crime fighting thing. They don't know that they're gonna. Bring the bat boots with the, with the mixture that has ice skates inside. And this is a dig at Warner Brothers a little bit. That movie was made in what, 1997?

Yeah. Yes. So that was the closest we've come so far in film to seeing World's Finest and there's one line where he says now I know why Superman works alone and I'm like that's the fucking closest we've come to see Superman and Batman on screen together. That's an atrocity. Can we talk a little bit about I feel like the whole movie is like they left the camera rolling or they didn't make the cut as quick as they needed to like there's always like an awkward beat after like the final line is said like there's like there's one scene in particular where Alicia Silverstone shows up as

as Barbara Barbara the daughter British Her parents are British, and she's Alfred's niece, but she came from school in England. Mind you, Alfred's sister's gotta be as old as Alfred. Yes, yeah! And Elise is over, like 18. She comes in, and they're like, can she stay?

Basically like, can we keep her? Can we keep this girl? And they're like, okay. And then they just cut on one person's face, cut on another person's face, another person's face. No dialogue, it's like shaking their head and just smiling, like yeah, yeah, yeah. But there's no, it just seems like,

I almost felt like, should I leave the room? This is over, right? This is the movie where we figured out that Alfred must cut both their hair like Robin Clooney they have the same fucking haircut It makes sense. He takes care of him gets their boat wounds. I also like that That the bat computer in this movie is just a Mac. It's Mac. It's just a Mac Fancy one it's just a regular Mac over the hard drive icons the bat logo

Fancy one, it's just a regular Mac. No, but the hard drive icon's the bat logo. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's weird that they make moves like that, like all the other computers in the fucking Batcave, or like they have bat iconography all over them. But they have a Mac, but when they start bidding, fucking Batman pulls out a credit card.

Oh, God. That's Batman Returns. It actually said Batman Returns. It says Batman. Good through forever The Batman credit card never leaves the game without it And you can make the argument you can definitely make the argument like oh no They're they're trying to be campy

But they aren't they do they do some things that are super campy and then some things are super serious like Alfred's dying in this movie. And that's dealt with like, Alfred's dying and we have, this is a big deal. But then there's back credit cards too, so it's like, it makes no fucking sense. There's even another level to it and I'm glad we got onto the Alicia Silverstone introduction

because there was something that was so fucking disturbing to me about Robin wanting to like seemingly fuck her, that just seemed like a brother wanting to fuck a sister. And it's just like, hey man, like just leave that alone. He's like, I can't man, I just gotta fucking taste that shit. Have you seen my codpiece lately? It's much bigger. The codpiece is getting bigger every day.

Yeah. Codpiece is getting bigger. Codpiece is getting bigger. We haven't even talked about the fact that Bane is in this movie. Oh, yeah Forgot all about Bane like like the reality is like the main villain of the current super Batman movie is This crazy weird Cartoon character in this movie. Yeah. Oh, I mean beyond car like he a look he looks like a toy I've never seen a character look more like a toy and he has the best line that time the Nightfall series had already come out

Right. Yeah already bad Bane had killed Batman. I was actually broken his back in the comics So you're in for this like ah Bane's of this movie is gonna do something awesome and Bane is just a guy goes like How about that? Fucking photograph of them coming off the plane Casablanca style Mean it's basically they took like the bad disguises of like the thing from from Fantastic Four Or if you opened it up, it would be the little rascals on each other's shoulders It would be the little rascals on each other's shoulders Bane fought the glow in the dark gang oh

He just essentially it's a two-move Two-move fight where they whip it with chains, and he throws them all and they run yeah, yeah, just run out of their home And Bane basically like he gets you know the venom shot into him that makes him Bane and He goes from like a little wimpy guy Yeah, he basically just blows up on steroids within a second I'm not I don't know all about Bane's backstory, but is that how it happens in the Far off yeah, he does he uses the one thing when he hit the chest, and he got more juice He'd become more powerful, but like the thing is they've been working on that guy for years to get him to that size, but More powerful, but like the thing is they've been working on that guy for years to get him to that size, but

He didn't just see isn't just basically drink some potion and turn it to that He's the second or the first character in the movie that you see because you see all three the origins you see his origin You see the the making of poison ivy and and mr. Freeze each one of them is doused in chemicals and then becomes this supervillain Yeah, I just like it's like the easiest fucking out, you know? It's like it's just the Joker thing over and over. Hey, you fall in the vat. And you become like, hey, you fall in some plants. And you become that.

Hey, you fall in the thing. Yeah, and Schwarzenegger falling into his vat of ice. I don't know what the value is. No one knows what that is. But I really enjoyed his small performance as Victor, I thought, was was like I believe that I don't know what he was a doctorate of I think it was icy puns Speaking of puns. I do want to play. I know that you probably have seen this clip online

But it's worth just listening to for a second It's a combination or a compilation of every freeze pun. Super cut. Yeah, super cut. Super cut. Take a listen. Tonight's forecast. A freeze is coming. Allow me to break the ice. You are not sending me to the cooler. Freeze well. What killed the dinosaurs? The ice age! There's like no follow up to that either. The dinosaurs Show some mercy I'm afraid All right everyone, chill. It's cold. You get the idea. What I do like listening to those is that he goes really the extra mile and so I'm like what killed the dinosaurs?

Like well alright yeah I guess. Global warming. It's probably meteorite. I mean some of the evolution. It's so bad. It is so the just just the thought that Schwarzenegger must have gotten 20 million dollars. 25 million dollars He's only on screen for 25 minutes a million dollars a minute and when he is regular Victor Fries They had like he's watching a video of himself giving his wife a necklace. Well, where was that video camera?

This is like a personal moment. It's just like Bruce, who remembers everything third person. Yeah. Oh Alfred, when I fell. All of his like weird shadow members. Alfred tucking him in and stuff. And by the way, Coolio alert. That's right.

Coolio shows up for a motorcycle race. Cause oh yeah, Alicia Silverstone got kicked out of her boarding school for racing motorcycles. Of course, that's definitely against the rules of that school. She was there to study computers. Oh, she's really good at computers, because when she's guessing Alfred's password.

She's the worst ever at guessing a password. Types in England. England is one of the password Wayne yeah The other thing too is like she gets the other thing like fucking Batman supposed to be the greatest detective on the planet sure She shows up. He's like who the fuck is that like you don't know all of Alfred's extended family. Oh, yeah, and then Oh, yeah, wait. You're at what school?? Oh yeah, because I read it on your jet. Like, he should know everything about her.

By the way, yeah, there's only one person, arguably, in Bruce Wayne's life that he cares about. It would be Alfred. Yeah. So you figure he would do a little bit of due diligence. I mean, like, oh, so you have someone you're connected to in your life? He would know that Alfred's brother is the Alfred

of the Maharaja. It's like a family of butlers, you know? It's just like... Man-Servants Incorporated. Hey guys, about three quarters of the way through this movie, the fight sequences start having cartoon sound effects, right? Oh my god, yes! Yes! Out of nowhere.

No, that starts early because the dinosaur, when the the statue of the dinosaur crumbles it roars You know what I totally forgot about the fucking Fred Flintstone entrance of Batman Oh, yeah, he slides down the back of a dinosaur pops off his tail. Just like the opening of the fucking Stone and it's like whoosh Well, it was five o'clock He was weird that he did punch his time card into the dinosaur's mouth. Yeah, I mean Joel Schumacher. Oh man, the... Oh, what was it? Those day glow skeletons when they did have that fight, did I see this?

They were hanging out in the Turkish baths? Yes, the Turkish baths. Closed Turkish baths. You're in a bath house. They made... Totally normal. Totally normal. Let's hang out in there. Where all the bad guys hang out. But closed Turkish baths. Not a gay thing at all. Not gay at all. I also love that in this reality of Gotham City, the police cars have not been updated since 1933. Yeah, that's another thing. It's like they It's like they I feel like they're like we like this Tim Burton thing It should be weird, but no one had an idea of why it was good when Tim Burton did it

It was like yeah be like old car super new computer and you have high tops you wear old ties It's like Alfred's max headroom. Yeah Favorite scene of the entire movie. Did just did you pull a clip of this I did Yeah, it's it's just so fucked up that it's like it's like they went through a bunch of pop culture things like cartoons and max Headroom and fucking old Batman shows and they're like just put all of it. Just shove it in Yeah, it just feels like someone just shoved everything into a bag like yeah, just sit on it cram it Don't get it doesn't fit. It doesn't fit Okay, okay. Oh it kind of hurts the nipples

Bat nipples oh man This is Alicia Silverstone is kind of bored one night She finds the Batcave and this is what happens one of the most preposterous things after she breaks. After she breaks into her dying uncle's secret to his brother. Yes. Here it is. Intruder alert. Intruder alert. Intruder alert.

Intruder alert. Intruder alert. Identify. Identify. Uncle Alfred, it's me, Barbara. I expected you might find your way down here, child. As such, I programmed my brain algorithms into the bat computer and created a virtual simulation. I'd like to help Batman and Robin.

I anticipated you would and took the liberty to create something in your size. And that's how she becomes Batgirl! He programmed a thing and he's like, imagine recording that day, like alright well, if she comes down here and she wants to know, I'll have to answer that. She just wants to hang, alright I'll have to answer that. Oh, she needs a costume. Like that's how she becomes Batgirl, just like, oh yeah, I thought that this might happen. And also, I love the fact that Barbara reacts to Alfred as if he's a person. Yeah, no no no. It's me!

Barbara! Why can't you sleep with your person. Yeah, no, no, no. It's me. Barbara. Why can't you see me with your eyeballs that are clearly in front of me? Why are you being so mean? Why is your voice skipping? I did not remember how, like, I don't know. There's so much. There's so, like, like you said, it's like falling into that.

It's like, oh, yeah, yeah, you got a costume. And not only, there's no training. She's shown no skill besides motorcycle racing. No, well, she flips Robin over in the garage. And if I may, in the previous film, okay, Batman Forever, the only training, by the way, the only surviving two members of this fucking cast are Robin and Alfred.

Alfred's the only Alfred all the way through all four of these things. In the previous film when Robin's family is killed and Bruce Wayne takes him in, Alfred sees him cleaning his clothes in the room where they've got the washing machine and he says, oh do you want to use the dryer? And he's like, no need man, I've got my own weird dry drying clothes. And then they cut to this fucking insane montage of him like using his wet clothes as like nunchucks And like draining the water out and like that was the extent of his bat training. Like drying his clothes.

He did Karate Kid of drying. Well I mean he dried them really well, saved a lot of energy. It makes you realize like, and then he said like Batman forever people like does a good movie I like that one so much that they gave them 825 million dollars to make this movie That's how much I was reading about the movie and they the dailies were coming back to Warner Brothers And they were so happy with them they signed Joel Schumacher for another movie. Yeah, it was gonna be a scarecrow movie Yes, that's right with Jeff Gold movie. Yeah, it was going to be a scarecrow movie.

Yes, that's right, with Jeff Goldslyth. Or Jeff Goldblum, excuse me. So my question is, Warner Brothers must have just, like, I mean, The Dailies couldn't have been better than this movie. I just think maybe The Dailies didn't have sound. Looks cool. It looks good. It looks cool, it looks really cool.

You know what, I think when you see The Dailies compared to the last film, like, it really doesn't, if you take the individualailies compared to the last film, like it really doesn't, if you take the individual segments, they don't look that different. Yeah. You know, the thing that really makes the previous film watchable is Jim Carrey. Yeah, right.

I guess that's true. Jim Carrey's kind of funny in the movie, you know, and it's like he does the best with that material that anybody could possibly do, and kind of makes it enjoyable. And there's still lines that I crack up at, but there's none of that element holding it together. And if you're going to be that campy, you need to be funny. And they weren't.

But they had all those elements. They had nobody being funny. I guess Mr. Freeze... But there's little to no logic in this movie either. None. Even, like we were saying before, even the puns don't even make sense. At a certain point, there was one pun that was like, some of them aren't even puns. Yeah, like what?

Some of them are just riddles or statements. If revenge is a dish best served cold, then put on your Sunday's finest. Like what? What are you talking about? Hang on, Freeze, I don't follow you. What am I doing? At one point, you just said the Iceman Cometh, and I was like, I don't follow you. What am I doing? The Iceman Cometh, and I was like, is this like a Eugene O'Neill reference?

Like the play? The funniest line to me in this entire film is right after Batgirl appears to Batman and Robin, she says, Bruce, it's Barbara. I found the Batcave. Like, so dumb. So dumb. Yeah, cause he goes, who are you? She's like, Batgirl. He goes, isn't that a little un-PC? Batperson or Batwoman?

Yeah, and then she gets like a fan, no, Bruce, no, no, no, it's me, Barbara. Barbara's only. Well, it's obviously you don't know that it's me. I mean I'm covering a square inch of my face Couldn't possibly my hair is out full oh Man another fucking crazy move because all right Alfred designs a suit for her. She goes out She helps those guys they get their ass kicked, but then Alfred's computer brain had also designed another suit for her to work against the cult Yeah, that these other guys you know I mean again. That's another like

Fourth you know for a third act action figure move where it's like we're gonna need to sell some different toys We need another another a costume for Barbara. Oh good old Barbara Barbara also does I mean because she is so like naive like it's me It's Barbara like they wouldn't think of her as kicking anyone's ass. Not even a little bit. Not even a little bit. Did she take care of, I guess the only reason they really need her is cause she needs to take care of fighting Poison Ivy, right? Cause I think- She had to fight Poison Ivy just so a dude wasn't beating up a lady. Yes, exactly. And by the way, when poison ivy is finally defeated the line curses is

Uttered by Uma Thurman. That's the line. She says she says curses Cuz PG-13 guys you can't say fucking I I also love wouldn't be amazing if they just in one line. We're like fuck It's PG-13 we get we get one we get one and they really give it Fucking call Tourism cameo was great The other guy who's a guard with is the other dude who ended up playing Conan on the TV show His name is like Rolf

crazy long last German name. Oh wow. I was going to say one of my favorite, again, Mr. Freeze Lines. It's another kind of pun, but not really. It's, don't forget to winterize your pipes! Like that, that's like his, like that, like that's so... Also I enjoy the idea that Bane can't possibly get through reinforced steel. After everything we've seen him do You know what was weird is like when he's not Bane or when he's like like the little wimpy version like

Were they playing like baby crying sound yeah? Yeah? Like what the fuck dude also that guy's supposed to be like a hardened serial killer. Yeah, mass murderer. Yeah. Oh man They yeah, well yeah that guy was a mass killer like I mean you get the the body of Jeffrey Dahmer I bet you that's what they were kind of going for but of course it was Schumacher Yeah, Schumacher really got in there what he does is he puts the gay men in the tub What about the I was gonna say mr.. Frease's car fires like 30 missiles and misses Everything yeah none of them hit also if you watch back the big moment for Barbara when she jumps off of her motorcycle There's no reason for her to do so and then she lands on Robbins wind powered

Surf car it goes over ice and then looks to her right and the motorcycle, perfectly intact, still moving, she jumps back on it. Was she just afraid that she was going to hit a car and get the ice? I don't know. I do also like that the first line of this movie is, I want a car. That is the first line of Batman and Robin. And he goes, chicks dig the car. He's like, you have your Batmobile, whatever it is.

But that's the first line of a Batman movie. I want a car. It does set the tone for this film pretty strongly. I mean, they really are getting off. Kids, don't you want a car? Yeah. Oh man. That might as well be the first line of the commercial

for the Batmobile toys. Oh, I'm sure it was By the way turn on some fucking lights in this world every room is in complete darkness There's not a single lit thing and it's a disadvantage. I think for everybody I think but yeah, the whole movie is just It's dark. It's dark, but not like Tim Burton dark and right interesting It's like, no, no, no, we'll just have really low lights. We'll let you bring up Tim Burton. I want to play What If for a second. OK, because this is kind of the temperature of the times.

And this is what they were, this is what Warner Brothers really wanted to do here. If this movie had been a success, their plan would obviously have been to do another one. They signed Joel Schumacher to do another one. But there was another property that they were developing at that time with Tim Burton Which was the failed Nicolas Cage as Superman?

So and I don't know if you've seen some of the work that's Steve Johnson and his a special effects team have done online But there's a bunch of costume tasks the suit of the suit and you know it's really incredible Just because it's it because it's so far away from anything that we know about the character. It's Tim Burton's interpretation of Superman as played by Nicolas Cage. And there are pictures of Nick Cage with a gigantic mullet which Superman was wearing at that time in the comics.

He had long hair. Just in the back. And so the mind wanders into the possibilities of there being a world's finest Nicolas Cage George Clooney that would have been amazing just Nicolas Cage and I mean but maybe Clooney doesn't stick around so who would be the next who would be the next guy in 1987 Casper van deen? Get him in there, but yeah, I mean and George Clooney I like George Clooney's define in this movie It's but it's like but man George Clooney and Nicolas Cage Together would have been oh it would have been unbelievable the world is robbed of yet another how did this get me?

Unbelievable the world is robbed of yet another how did this get me? I mean basically if this movie was successful Christopher Nolan's Batman movies would never exist cuz they killed the franchise like it did this is done I mean and if it continued it we would be in like it'd be like the bad James Bond series It'd be like Batman 12, and here's another lesser-known villain can't even I don't want to think about that Oh, it's so bad, and this is the this movie, too I really it's really very noticeable that Batman can't turn his neck like he cannot turn oh yeah Like it's very he's making a lot of big moves his neck is clearly Disadvantaged look a guy in a neck brace.

It's like, he's just always looking up and never being able to look at. My single favorite shot in the movie is when they're riding their vehicles across the tops of the city. Yes. And the Batmobile jumps off and freeze freezes it and he ejects and then he flies through the windshield

of Freeze's vehicle. And then the next shot you see, it's a very quick shot, but it's the fucking weirdest shot in the whole movie because they don't do this. So you see, the next shot you see is his cape. And then it kind of becomes unfolded, and Mr. Freeze is laying on the ground, and Batman's standing over him in a pose, like holding up his arms. And it's a really quick shot shot and it's almost like, I got him. It's like, it was the weirdest shot because it's almost like, I don't know,

it wasn't necessary but it was so weird. Did you guys notice when Poison Ivy's plant hangs Batman up? Like the cape is patched at the thighs. Like with string. It's like, really? And also another great chance to get an ass shot in there. Yeah. A solid ass shot.

Okay, so, man, obviously we had some opinions about this movie, you know, and I would say we didn't love it, but there are some people out there, some people who really, really liked it. I called together some five star reviews from Amazon for a second opinion This is from Ryan Honestly, if you like Batman movies action movies or any kind of movie I recommend this movie to you So that is a five-star review well how old was right?

When you're a kid on Amazon it says kid review, so he must be older There's you can cheat that This is the one that kind of got a little dark Cheryl Kane Neal writes This is the one that kind of got a little dark Cheryl Kane Neal writes No matter what the source of the crime these heroes gave it their all in protection of human life Even though these epics of action and adventure they were best portrayed with dignity and comfort comfort Really had a moment writing this wait, what was gossip Gertie's real name again?

Okay, this is another another one Jeffrey writes what's wrong with this movie? I don't care what you say the film is good other than the directing and the plot being a little bit bad But that's nothing other than the directing and the plot being a little bit bad, but that's nothing. And then, and then, and then, and then,

and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then,

and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then,

and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, Returns terrible Batman forever bad Batman begins Christopher Nolan's terrible Batman and Robin excellent five stars The only one that he liked

And Batman I just know Batman returns and Batman begins both terrible Batman at least is just bad Wow, that's nominated. Nominated for 11 razies. 11 razies on this movie. A big, big, big accomplishment. Is there anything that we haven't talked about that you guys, that popped out to you? Anything else that we? It's just, you know, it's really funny

is the randomness that happens. It's like there's no really cohesive, you know, storytelling message throughout the film because they just keep throwing weirder and weirder shit. This, this, you know, the Scooby-Doo special effects sound effects, you know. And it's added midway through so it's like I feel like people made changes like even Uma Thurman, she's dressed all sexy the entire time and then all of a sudden like in one scene she's in like a full green jumper and it's like wait wait, bring back the sexy version of her.

Like she should be in that point. I couldn's that one that came out of the gorilla suit? I couldn't make heads or tails out of Uma Thurman's character at all. Oh I mean. I didn't know what she was doing, I didn't know what her point was. She was truly, like there were so many characters in this movie that it's just a mess. Well I mean her character basically just wants to save, have the plants come back but she also is upset when Mr. Freeze says he has a wife He like she's been killing all the men and then like Freeze is like I have to save my wife and she's like Oh, you have a wife, huh?

This is a one woman show Yeah, it's like, but what do you want to do? That's by the way great poison ivy Anytime, anytime he goes. But what was very funny is when the epic, the fight with Batgirl, she pulls out a two and a half inch tiny blade that looks very dull and won't cut anything. And then they have her check her fucking makeup while she's fighting. You know what? Chicks dig that stuff, man. That's what ladies do when they fight. That's how ladies fight. Have you ever been to the fucking Bronx? That's how they fight down there. Not only is this movie set back filmmaking, it set back vision of women in action movies, it set back racial stereotypes, everything

takes a giant step back. And it must have been crazy because do you feel like George Clooney must have been like, oh fuck did I blow it? Should I have been staying on ER? Yeah because this is the movie that he put it in. It's funny, because you could find videos of him online going, I killed the Batman franchise. Oh yeah, he talks about it. He's really open about it. I think he was in the, he got called

to the President of Warner Brothers office and the guy's like, doesn't even give him an option. He's like, you're the next Batman. And he's like, oh okay, I guess I'm doing that now. So, work is work. He had, I mean, there was a rough little moment there for him, I feel like. Because it's like, what happens next to George Clooney?

But he obviously came back and did a pretty good job. It made $60-something million its first weekend. And then its total domestic was like $103. Wait, this Batman movie? Yeah. Wait, I thought it says here on WGA Oh, I thought it was much smaller than that. Let's see it says here. Oh, yeah, you're right total gross 237 that's where I paid for itself, but only just yeah, and

It's it's it made everybody reevaluate what the fuck they were doing pretty much people say This is the worst superhero made movie made of all time. And I totally agree. There's a lot of terrible... Catwoman. Catwoman's awful. We've talked about it. Roger Corman, Fantastic Four.

Oh, that's Howard the Duck. Another... I could throw Marvel under the bus a little bit to get the one there. I mean, they deserve that for those two. Do you want to hear the first and third choice for mr.. Freeze? Yeah, well first of all wait Our sports are here not the first choice to play mr.. Freeze. Who do you think the first choice play mr.. Freeze was? I'm gonna say Kevin Costner go Tom Hanks Jason. I'm guessing Robin Williams Anthony Hopkins Anthony Hopkins said no that would have

been amazing that I really want to see that now third choice Hulk Hogan no I cannot see Hulk Hogan turning down at the time it was Hollywood Hulk Hogan he never would have turned it down oh my gosh wow that I cannot see Hulk Hogan turning down at the time. It was Hollywood Hulk Hogan. He'd never would have turned it down. Oh my gosh Wow that I cannot put Anthony Hopkins though Tiny little Iceman or mr. Freeze That whole movie cuz just the script probably would not have changed To go from Hannibal Lecter to fucking Captain Freeze pun.

And now we'd have Arnold Schwarzenegger, no doubt, as Odin in the Thor movie. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah, man. It is.

What a mess. This movie is great. You have to see. Yeah, it's a good movie. You have to see it. It is hard What a mess. This movie is great. You have to see it. It is hard to find. I found it on Amazon for very cheap. You can buy them used and stuff there, but I recommend seeing it.

You have to at all costs. You would recommend seeing it, right? Oh, I mean, just try it. See if you can get through it. I would absolutely recommend if you're with a bunch of buddies and you wanna have a laugh. People spent a lot of time and energy making this thing 125 million dollars went into this movie. Oh wait now you said there's something a callback in the animated series Yeah, I just thought this is so cool. There was an episode of Batman the animated series

it was kind of later on where it was centered the episode center around these three little boys and None of them have actually seen the Batman. They live in Gotham. They heard about the legend and each little boy tells their own version of what they think the Batman really is and the first one tells the story about, oh my uncle saw him one night at a, he was a, he was a museum security guard and they, and the story that he tells is animated in the style of the opening of the old live-action TV show where it really looks like that animated style.

Then the next kid has a style where he's telling a story where it's basically the Dark Knight returns. And then before the third kid can tell his story, this one kid named Joel shows up and he's got a boa wrapped around his neck. And he's coming out of his dad's store and his dad's a shoemaker. And he's like, I see the Batman has having like nipples

and like you see his butt all the time. And they're like, come on Joel, he doesn't do that. It's completely inaccurate. So like even like the people who create the canon for Batman were like, dude, this was horrible. Well, I mean, I think it breaks the general rule of Batman. Batman is like a social gadfly and it's not Bruce Wayne Yeah, Batman like Batman is invited to events. Yeah, that goes to a van. He like hangs out from photo ops

It's like Might as well be a scene where he's like a DJ If it was made now, he would totally be like DJing every Friday at the Hard Rock Ditch Fridays, he'd be there all the time. I will tell you and remind you that in Batman Returns, Batman did scratch a CD. I don't know if you remember that part. It was, he recorded the villain's monologue

so he could out the penguin as being a bad guy, not really the real mayor. And as he's playing it like There's it's it's like a bat CD player with a bat logo on the CD from the Batcave And he's playing it he's like this town's gonna rot this town's gonna Rot and it's like Michael Keaton's they're like scratching the CD so it already happened. Oh I love it. I love it. I love it and it makes you and I think I've just gotten so brainwashed To the Chris Nolan version of Batman that it's so shocking that this is a successful franchise

I just can't imagine being George Clooney and watching that movie at the premiere and just thinking everyone. Oh, yeah Everyone even Elle Macpherson like why did I do this? This is bad for my career My one line, I should never have done it. Even Chris O'Donnell, I read this article where he said that whenever he would complain about the script, Joel Schumacher would go, Shut up! It's a comic! Yeah, it was ridiculous. Well, go check out this movie. Do whatever you can. Thank you very much to all of our guests.

Matt, Jesse, thank you so much. What did you guys have to anything to plug? Anything you wanna? Tune in to Attack the Show at seven o'clock weekdays on G4 and listen to the Nerdist podcast if you don't already. You can follow me on Twitter at J. Scott with one T. Falcon and go buy some great Marvel products guys. There you go.

Uh, like it. I NTSF SDSUV, the show I do on Adult Swim is coming back this week August 9th, 1215 following Children's Hospital. Check that out. June is in it, I'm in it, bunch of great people are in it. You'll like it, I think. It's second season, it's good and Jason now. What do you got?

Nothing really guys. I got really nothing to plug all right feel really feel really bad about it. Hey, you know what it's cool It says hey, don't don't don't worry about it, man. It's no Should have thought of something to plug All right, well we have our t-shirts. They're amazing the crank two t-shirts Thank you to everybody here at earwolf, Steffi for pulling these clips for us every single week. We'll see you next time. Bye bye.